#Bruce Wayne is a tired dad

[redheadedl]

Dunno why but this idea just popped into my head and I need to get it out into the world.

It’s basically agreed amongst fans that atleast all Gotham child vigilantes would have become incredibly dangerous villains if they hadn’t become vigilantes.

Now imagine someone on the internet asking the question.

“What interaction did you see/be apart of that makes you glad child vigilantes were allowed to be vigilantes instead of growing up to be a villain”

Can you imagine the reactions??

Dick : stories about the first few times he was seen as robin carrying a trapeze wire and an urge to spill blood/kill. This was also the time that everyone basically figured out that Batman was a tired and frantic parent trying to keep their feral child under some control. Probably also some rumors about Batman trying to quit so robin also stops going out but it just not working.

Jason: what can I say about Jay, probably the best behaved robin but with a deposition to maim/injure more than necessary and refusing to budge on that stance. Can you imagine the random goon just sitting there after being stabbed in the leg by a batarang and being crippled while Batman is attempting and failing to reprimand his child.

Tim: the most scary and feral of the robins. Bullied Batman into letting him be robin and isn’t afraid to let anyone know that, friendly to most rogues and them being impressed by him doesn’t help his reputation. Doesn’t hesitate to disregard Batman’s orders if he decides they are stupid and isn’t afraid to tell him that to his face.

Not even going to touch on any of the other child vigilantes because they are all insane and this is getting to long already lol.

[razzledazzle0]

caterpillar

Tim: I want to be a caterpillar

Bruce: explain?

Tim: well, they eat a lot, sleep for a while and wake up beautiful

Dick: Ooo that sounds nice

Damian: Drake, you do realize that caterpillars have a lifespan of like 2 weeks right?

Tim: yeah I know its a perk

Bruce: TiM NO-

[rdfhyrsc]

I love how cass can show up anyway without anyone noticing like basically 2 literally gods didn’t notice her lol

[mossy-frog69]

So Bruce putting stickynote messages in his kids lunch boxes everyday right. Now imagine, they all kept them all this time, every child he had early enough to have them be in school. And say he finds out about this and he's emotional... but, he finds out Jason kept them all and he's just full on in tears.

[maskygirl55]

I head canon Tim being overprotective over who his siblings date and not Bruce because Bruce is a tired dad who knows that his children would just do that opposite of his advice just to spite him.

Tim on the other hand knows too much and has tons of blackmail and will not hesitate to destroy bloodlines if you hurt his siblings.

[fractalflowersao3]

This is gonna be relevant, I can feel it

is he talking about his kids or the justice league? probably both

og text post

[aeturnum-mendacacium]

As Bruce grows older into his 50's or 60's the paparazzi and people crowding him becomes less and he thinks that people have finally decided that Bruce is too old to be attractive or mainstream and he's actually super fine with it and makes jokes( more like sarcastic remarks) about it. But in reality they've grown more freaky cause instead of looking wrinkly and a sappy old man the level of cunt he serves grows everyday,he doesn't look like a snack he looks like a buffet, 13 year olds are using his pics as the cover pages of their mafia wattpad stories, he looks majestic, absolute dilf, we don't talk about the amount of tags he's birthed just by ageing on ao3, and hes still an absolute UNIT, the reason he's not heard about it yet cause the batkids are blocking the shit OUT with all of their will and strength cause it doesn't matter if all of them are full grown adults they're still all like-THATSMYDADGETAWAYFROMHIMHEDOESN'THAVETIMEFORYOUHESBUSYBEINGOURDAD

[marskiiii]

TOOK FOREVER BUT SOOOOOO WORTH IT!

aka mY IDEAL BATFAM UNIVERSE TYVMUCHBYEEE

[nyukaart]

They're so stupid I love them

[rdfhyrsc]

I love this headcanon and I need people to see this if they haven’t 

idea: batman and the robins never acknowledge that there have been different robins. like they all act that there's only been one and that they're the same person basically.

Justice League who's used to teen dick not kid jason: who is this child?

Batman: what do you mean, it's robin.

-

Batman and Tim walking through the watchtower:

Justice League who remembers robin literally dying: ...*side eye*...

-

Flash: batman… who is this?

Batman: robin. you’ve met before. several times.

Flash: no, i met a black haired boy. this is a blonde girl!

Batman: her name is robin

-

Superman: it's time for you to explain. where are you getting all these children?

Batman: i have no idea what you're talking about.

Superman *pointing to damian*: who is this kid?!

Damian: i'm robin. i'm offended you would even ask that? don't you remember *proceeds to recite a story dick told him of his robin days*

[razzledazzle0]

box

loud thuding noise

Bruce: what was that?

Dick: sounded like a box falling down the stairs

Bruce pinching the bridge of his nose: that sounded much heavier then just a box

Dick:..Jason was in it

[rdfhyrsc]

Jason: Tim isn’t answering their phone

Dick: I’ll call

Jason: Damian and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Tim: Hello?

Dick: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Jason: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Damian: I personally was created in a lab.

Tim: I just straight up spawned lol.

*Alfred's helping Tim out after they get injured, while fighting the rogues*

Dick: How does Tim look?

Damian: A little better than you, actually

Dick: I think Damian was right.

Tim: I'm surprised he hasn’t marched in here to say 'I told you so.'

Jason: He wouldn't do that.

Damian: You're right, Jason. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.

Damian: *turns around, the shirt he is wearing says 'Damian Told You So' on the back*

Dick: Tim, I'm sad.

Tim: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay.

Jason: Damian, I'm sad.

Damian, nodding: mood.

Tim: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.

Dick:

Jason:

Damian:

Everyone Else At Tim’s Surprise Birthday Party:

Bruce: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

[mossy-frog69]

Dick, sitting on the kitchen island: muttering about his in-depth and overthinking of something that is so simple emotionally then stops and sits up, looking over to Bruce.

"This is your fault" He points at his father before laying his head in his hands and resting back down on the island.

Bruce: "what?"

Dick: "all I want is to be emotionally available to my boyfriend but now it's this big thing where I'm overthinking everything and it's all your fault. You've infected me with your way of thinking Mr. Detective. All. Your. Fault." He turns to face the wall and sighs dramatically. "This is what you've done to me.

Bruce: *so tired. What.-*

[rdfhyrsc]

I mean if I was the Barista I would do the same lol

Bruce, making a coffee run for his kids- And the last drink is for my teenage son. I'm sorry it's a bit long.

Bruce, reading off the text message Tim sent detailing the order- A thirty two ounce mocha with seven extra espresso-

Barista, interrupting him and already starting the drink- One Tim Drake special, you mean? Yeah. We all know it. It's part of our training for new employees at this point.

Bruce-...

Bruce-..?

Bruce- I've... I've been meaning to talk to him about his caffeine intake-

Barista- Yeah, you probably should. I mean WE would, but he's also our best tipper

[littlefankingdom]

Dick who climbed on anything as a child. Even in public, especially in public. The moment Bruce looks away, he is climbing something to get as high as possible. The first times, it gave Bruce an heart attack. Now, it's just a headache.

People pass by and ask if they should call the firefighters, and Bruce tiredly tell them "He is fine, he can get down on his own.", like people with cats.

Imagine, you're walking out of some building, only to see a 10 years old standing on top of a lamppost, having a discussion with his dad guardian at the bottom.

"Dick, get down."

"Make me."

"Get down or you're grounded."

[londrya]

*The kitchen in Wayne Manor*

Clark, drinking a coffee: And then I was like, i don't need....

Jon walking in, not fully awake yet: Morning...

Clark: Morning? What are you doing here? You where supposed to be at kon's?

Kon walking in with Tim in tow: Well technically he is with me.

Wally sapping in to get something from the fridge: Wow, in what kind of family reunion did I stumble into here?

Roy, also there to get something to eat: I dunno man.

Bruce, appearing out of nowhere: The real question here is, why tf you all are at my house.

Alfred: It seems like the boys had a sleepover. Just like old times.

Roy: Hah, tell that to the hickeys on Jason's neck