#And obviously the issue of not being able to drive
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this barbie is getting evicted!
#cipher talk#Advice would be appreciated#The problem is I live in a rural shithole woth terrible job options and I can't drive#What I've been doing since February/March is IT coursework for certs which I'm almost done with#I was planning to apply to a temp office job in a nearby city and move out. Unfortunately this city's single person housing applications#Are closed and I don't know when it'll open up again#I might try looking into another city#Also I do have a fair amount of possessions but I think getting a storage unit of my own is okay though I'd have to be very careful about#Storing fabrics#And obviously the issue of not being able to drive
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anyone else hate long distance relationships and lack of consistent feelings on their part
#this is gonna be long in the tags sorry#and for the record. everything im going to say in here is on Me and not on my girlfriend and i know the solution is TALK TO HER#but can i have a minute to just. say it#okay. so im long distance with my girlfriend and we've been long distance (5hrs drive) the whole time#we've been together almost 9 months and in that time we've seen each other 4 times.#once in may once for halloween once for thanksgiving and today/yesterday for NYE#the longest trip of any of these was a tuesday night- sunday morning. so like. four full days of being together#but interspersed with family bc it was thanksgiving#okay. so just setting the stage#i love hanging out. i love hanging out on the couch or doing random shit like walkin around a town or grocery shopping with her#like i love being introduced to her friends and family as her partner and doing likewise to my people#like i love hanging out with her forever#but like. UGH my issue is like. any. kind of intimacy beyond literally like cuddling and holding hands?#like lack of consistency on my part. like okay sometimes kissing is fine and we're talking like a peck on the lips and then sometimes#im like. no i dont. want to do this. and obviously im not being Forced to if i asked her to not she would respect that!!#i like the Idea of kissing and sometimes i do enjoy a little peck but sometimes im like not. into it.#and then like. we've been together for a while we've Talked about sex and stuff but we have not had it yet. haven't gotten anywhere close#to it yet#like i like the idea of having sex with her but if i was faced with the reality of that right now i would freak out like just get. really#stressed? panic??? and there's no trauma in my past. i haven't ever had any kind of sex i have no trauma associated#with anything. like i would just. freak out a little. and we wouldn't have sex and that would be fine but. idk.#i dunno if i'm like. ace or something or it's just still too New of a relationship to do that? because despite being togehter for 9 months#when you've had literally less than two weeks of full days together in that time#it feels really fuckin new#i dunno man.#i'm just afraid that im just. idk not built for a relationship.#she was drunk and wanted to snuggle when we went to sleep last night and it stressed me out because i hate not being able to move when#im asleep. i told her this she gave me my room that was fine. but like man. i am never gonna want to snuggle like that#i still dont love kissing#like. for my house. okay i have very specific ideas of what i want my space to look like and feel like
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god is swuarshing me beneath his thumb like i am an aphid or perhaps a clover mite. yeah. its slow and painful and im small. and also meek
#just me rambling again#guys. guys i have been just barely scraping by for what feels like so long it's genuinely so overwhelming and confusing and just very#unsettling for me to be having good feelings especially like.. big ones#i kind of feel like im dying ?? not actually physically but my entire brain just really doesn't know what to do#ive got some rational anxieties but also a lot of really stupid small ones just that are so all over my brain#and the cause feels so stupid. ok cool so ur falling for one of ur friends. happens. ok so same friend VERY OBVIOUSLY likes you too. ok ok#a little weirder but something that has happened before#but there's just so much in mybrain anxious abt stuff (ive been forgetting to take my anxiety meds a lot the past week(#idk i just feel like somehow it's not fair to them??#like. being with me or me trying to maybe be with them feels like... im taking away something from them or from their life#even tho we literally talked last night abt dates we really really wish we could go on#and how we obviously would just work well together we're compatible in basically every way#it also would be low pressure not heavy commitment because at the end of the summer we're both planning to move for college things#and she's looking at colleges in New York and nyc and im looking at colleges in oregon or Washington#so yeah.. literally across the entire country from each other#but that almost scares me more bc i have the it will come back hozier type of attachment issues where it's so so difficult for me to ever#let go of things once ive latched on (everything I've ever let go of has claw marks on it or whatever) and i really don't want to leave my#claw marks in them bc like. god i really would adore having a thing for however many months we have but im so goddamn scared#that im either not going to be able to let go or one of us is going to detach well before we leave bc thats a reasonable emotional response#and thatll be it's own hell#but also#im 18 almost 19 (and i will make clear that they're in the year below me which also makes me feel really bad but that's a whole other can o#worms there) and its been a long while since ive just. let myself LIVE. ive been the shell of a man for months now. maybe another#stupid and wonderful and beautiful and terrible teenage romance wouldnt be the end of the world.#hell i was so convinced i would never ever ever not be in love with my more recent ex girlfriend and i still love her as a person but im#definitely not still in love with her and our splitting hurt but it was something that i was able to cope with and grow through#idk im rambling a lot longer than i have in a while i just have a lot of feelings right now.#i want to kiss them (again and more) i want to go to a stupid drive in movie and go to museums together and a picnic and all the shit that#we talked about last night and we both love in similar ways and feel our feelings really big and unapologetically#idk i have so much to say but running out of tags on here. double date maybe on friday ? we'll see what happens i guess.
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I did something completely out of my comfort zone and I lived!
#Wasn’t prepared for freeway driving at all but I surprisingly didn’t screw myself or the person following me over#now that I have Siri hooked up to the car stereo that is#Also nothing quite like being on high alert all day to give you a tension headache#But fortunately for me it wasn’t warranted because if anyone wanted to like chop me up and put me in a freezer they would have#But I’m talking to you now and I’m obviously not dead so woohoo#Don’t worry I never go into anything unprepared. And I’m the most resourceful person I know other than my father#Who does not surpass me but equals me#But yeah they’re actually nice and neurodivergently-honest and not trying to love bomb me so far as I can tell#Because I was getting “this is weird” vibes but never the “don’t do this you’re gonna die” feeling#And they’re quite obviously auDHD so I crunched some numbers based on observable behavior and determined#much of the bubbly “too much” behavior was coming from that#but I was unaccustomed to it because I’m on the polar opposite end of the DSM for ADHD (unsure of autism)#and am less likely to recognize behaviors I don’t engage in as being a symptom of neurodivergence#If that makes any sense at all#Like I’m heavily heavily introverted and quiet and soft-spoken and never initiate friendly physical contact with anyone while talking#I’m very reserved with people I don’t know and am in possession of the most blunted affect known to man and don’t reveal my hand#Ever#So seeing someone engage in the opposite of those behaviors to a degree that isn’t normal with me made me take a step or two back#because my sensory/social/trauma issues are opposed to those kind of things#So I prepared just in case my assessment of them was incorrect but everything turned out fine.#I may be extremely introverted and socially awkward (or at least I feel like I am)#but I make up for it by being able to read shrimp social cues— social cues you didn’t even know existed#(And I also project the vibe of “I have eyes in the back of my head” which makes me kind of scary for someone as slight as I am)#But yeah I’m grateful to have met them and that they’re nice#It sounds like I don’t like them but I swear I do. The circumstances of the journey made me more apprehensive than the person themself
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#fUCK 2/3 OF THE DVDS DO NOT PLAY ON MY XBOX IM GOING TO FUCKING SCREAM#its obviously been resealed too there were some smudges so its like idk if theres even anything on the discs now#and its midnight so i cant check if they work on our all regions dvd player downstairs#but even if they work on that one... thats a hard ask of me to sit downstairs and watch anime in front of everyone during the day#its supposed to be a us region but like at this point idk if its an xbox issue or a bootleg issue or a preowned issue#fuck man im gonna have to buy a bunch of pc accessories too then to watch in my room without headphones on#this sucks man i was so excited but the world is just conspiring against me being able to watch this fucking anime#i find more and more things to regret every day of my life#i can take issue with the seller but if i do then i have to return it and its like... more hassle but i only have 2 more days to do that#but guess whos got a LONG FUCKING DAY TOMORROW#delete later / /#vent#ShitPost.exe#srsly like im already mad regardless of whether it works or not downstairs i need to just give up being mad bc the problem is already here#im going to fuckinv slepe im in too muc fucking pain to deal w more stress and now i have more things i have to do tmr#like it hurts for me to sit in a car for 5 minutes. tmr im in the car for 30x2 minutes with physical therapy in between#i dont know how im gonna do it man#i was unable to do shit last time iw as on the car that long#fucking rural ass small town that only has healthcare for rich ppl making me be in pain to get treatment for pain like fuck#hate this shit so much#hate my rural ass tourist town#hate not being able to see a local doctor#hate fucking dvds being so fucking fragile#hate buying shit online when u don't know if itll work (both secondhand and new)#pls just let it work downstairs tmr pls pls pls#ill steal the dvd player for a while and my mom can stuff it and use the other xbox for dvds till i get my own disc drive#pls i just dont want to have to argue my case to possibly return this bc i could be denied and im gonna scream if that happens#and i dont think my back can take the kinda scream im gonna scream if that happens#s2g i was ready to pay 3 digits for a working box set it was too good to be true to get it for less than 20 ugh#(less than 20 including shipping)
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okay sooo 1. once little man is done with my laptop i need to do the ssn shit bc i have the letter 2. in an hour i need to switch my laundry to the dryer and at Some point i need to sleep preferablyyyy i oush as long as i can its been 28 hours i Think? since i woke up i dont avtually remember its all kind of a blur i do have a headache and my fuckshit tooth is bothering me but whatever . once i get the ssn login thing done im pretty sure i can get a new card like right away and then once that gets here i can go and get my permit And by then my new glasses will be here which is epics and ummm at some point not today bc im tired and have a headache aka not at my best. so once those 2 things r not the case i need to do the science and math ged practice tests ive been putting them off bc im scared ill do bad SKULL.but i need to get those done ... and omce i have the permit and everything thennnnnn i can go do my actual proper ged tests and once those r done ill have my ged and an id and thus can start applying for jobs again And ill be so brave and ask my mom to teach me how to drive . YIPPEE
#im not a tually very tired i kind of just want to scream nd explode and run around the neighborhood or something. but its okay#and once i get a job and i e saved up umm i think my rule is 1000 then im allowed to go to the dentist for my fuckshit tooth and im allowed#to go to the um whatsit called for my fuckshit hormones and im allowed to maybe find a psych again and see if we can get things cooking up#there as in i think i rly srsly need medication . bc i dont think im going to go for talk therapy like ever again bc its kind of useless to#me which is funny bc god if theres one thing i do its fucking talk . but whatever.i think i need to see a proper psych and not one that im#like. going to With my mom and thus am obviously not honest#and i can get a gp of course probably thatll be the first step but irs so like. i dknt understand how yr supposed to get a gp#not a gp is it. pcp thats what i meant#primary care physician i need to find one I tried in wa but i didnt like. idk i think im a tually deeply atupid and not made to livenin the#world but also rhere was a lot of shit working against me up there LOL .so yeah omand then once i do all that i will work and work and work#and work and save up money i wanna save like assssssss much money as i can b4 i move out just in case theres like. issues. + like ill be#buying furniture and stuff and itll be lotsies like. since i dont rly have any furniture i think will be coming with me or nothing ....#so yes . this is connors 8000 step plan for being a person again and once i get all of this done then i will maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe#maybe be stable enough to start making friends again. so see me in like 1-2 years and we will see how its going#thats probably dramatic. but like idk i think itll take me at least a year or so From now to like. save up minimum amt for apartment#not that i have a ton of expenses or anything but some of my mkney will probably be going to my parents just to help with everythang#and idk how much ill be making of course. less than wa one presumes bc its umm#cheaper here . you know...#ok. i just wish i could do it all today and i didnt have to wait its always always always waiting i hate it#why cant the world revolve around when i get my sudden bursts of energy#ohhh but whatever. ill have my apartment and maybe even a car depending on how the whole driving thing goes and i can name my car and#get like stickers or something from my car Probably not a tually that a tually scares me quite a bit bc the idea of somebody seeing my car#and being able to think something abt me from it scared me quite ferociously i dont rly know why its not like a Oh what if they FIND ME !#im just a control freak and i hate that ppl can see like#a thing abt me and then make an assumption abt who i am as an entire person bc i need everybody to understand every facet of everything abt#me so that im not misinterpreted or misunderstood or whatever Which is an impossible thing and i need to get over that and i shouldnt be#reaking out abt a sticker on a car oh my goddd.#but also like this may be a lie but i was told it when i was like 10 soive been assuming it was true but when i was 10.somenody told me#car stickers r like permanent and like logically im thinking abt it idk how true rhat is but they do seem kind of a bitch to remove and what#if im like oh ill get a picture of like idk smurfette or something and then like idk smurfs company comes out and theyre like I actually
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so like. fnaf movie. after night five, all outside observers know is "this 30yo guy with severe anger issues + his 10yo mentally ill sister just walked out of his collapsing workplace with an unconscious, stabbed police officer, saying that someone inside the building tried to kill them but we can't get into the building to check. we went to their house and the aunt who was fighting for custody of the child is dead on the floor. the guy's career counselor is missing, as is his babysitter and her family and apparently they're all dead in the building we can't get into." and like. that all looks suspicious as FUCK however we know that in the few-weeks timeskip both mike and abby seem happy and fine so it's not like mike was arrested or anything. he seems to be more adjusted and is happily talking with her teacher so i doubt he's under stress of interrogation or anything
there's a lot of implications there that mike mighta pulled something but it's all circumstantial evidence at best. i'm sure in jane's autopsy and crime scene evidence they couldn't find any evidence of mike being the one to attack her, esp since it was probably just golden freddy bopping her in the head so they dont even have the weapon, and if she was strangled they'd be able to tell it wasn't by bare hands and they couldnt get prints or anyth. especially if golden freddy is a FULL ghost and thus left no trail.
mike would be smart enough to only tell the cops what they need to know without mentioning ghosts to sound crazy. abby might be more honest with the cops just bc of #autism but they'd be more likely to consider her talking about ghosts and imaginary friends as a child's way of coping, and they cant get anything out of her that would incriminate mike. ADD TO THAT that mike has wounds that are clearly defensive and is SUPER banged up and his wounds would likely match his story way better than evidence of him attacking anyone, AND that there's likely footage and witnesses of him being in the pharmacy and then driving to work (and thus not in the area to attack jane), AND if/when nessie wakes up she'll probably vouch for mike as well, and the cops dont have anything on him
though i DO wonder if they would have records of vanessa patching him up in the police outpost. if they do, that would also back up mike's story as it's 1) far away from the aunt jane crime scene, 2) confirms that he and vanessa were working together, so either she's complicit in Crime™ or his story is accurate and she was helping him save his sister. him going to defend her instead of calling backup is also consistent with his personality of getting triggered and jumping into action around child abduction, esp w/ his sibling in danger
considering what abby would probably say, AND the history of freddy's, it's likely that they would come to the conclusion of is "someone [likely the og kidnapper from the 80s] found out that the guy working at freddy's had a sister, kidnapped abby from her house while her aunt was babysitting and tried to recreate the crimes, his story of him and vanessa defending her and escaping vaguely checks out." whether or not mike would incriminate vanessa by mentioning her dad was the killer is up in the air, and there's obviously some huge holes that are left from nobody believing that there are ghosts in the building but that would probably be the eventual conclusion
but throwing that all away, it would be really, REALLY funny if the rest of the town, being really fuckin nosy and getting into the juiciest gossip they've had in decades, took one look at michael "big teddy bear falling asleep on himself" schmidt and said "there's no way. there's no way this guy murdered his aunt, stabbed an officer and then destroyed his own workplace, especially when he really needed that job and was on sleeping medication," and then turned around to look at abby "neurodivergent in the early 2000s (ableist af time period)" "vocally hates her aunt" "doesn't talk to anyone and claims that she can see ghosts" "vaguely possessive of her brother" "claims that she found the guy who hurt her friends and got him jumped by a cupcake(?)" schmidt and said "oh my god. it was her."
and nobody's gonna directly say anything but they've got cautious eyes on the situation and someone quietly slips mike a copy of the bad seed to see if he has a realization but instead he's just like "hey this book kinda reminds of that golden freddy kid lmao. wonder how he's doin" and then we smashcut to golden freddy kid poking springtrap with a stick
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Minor heads up but given some new nonsense with my audiobook distributor Findaway Voices and their new ToS regarding Spotify (Courtney Milan has broken it down fairly well on Twitter), I may end up pulling the audiobooks from everywhere except Audible and my Payhip store. This means the majority of my global access and access to library services will be lost.
I’d prefer not to do this, obviously. A not insignificant chunk of my income comes from library lending when it comes to audio. But Spotify potentially being able to make translations of my work without permission or any royalties going to me (not to mention their own derivatives of my work) is hair raising.
Findaway already issued another email stating that they are ‘working to clarify any unclear language’ (it’s pretty fucking clear; they were just banking on people not reading it like they did the whole AI scraping debacle) likely due to being inundated with complaints and authors pulling their work left, right and center.
Hopefully any changes they make will make this less of a fucking nightmare, but regardless I will be pulling the books from Spotify. I’ve already submitted the changes. So, sorry if you were listening on Spotify but we live in the bad timeline and can’t have shit 🙃
I’m still going to wait on their update before I pull the plug entirely, but Jesus Fuck. Between this and Ingram Spark being a perpetual nightmare it’s like they want to drive people to Amazon.
I’m so tired.
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A lot of people think my autism is “getting better” but I think a lot of it has to do with being an adult and being able to make my own decisions. I used to have frequent meltdowns and shutdowns and on the outside seemed more “obviously” autistic. But I’m 19 now, so I have a lot more say in my life. I only buy one brand of socks. I only own 2 types of shoes. All of my clothes are the exact same. I only eat what *I* want to eat and think feels safe. I can drive and can choose when to leave for appointments and obligations. If I were still a child and forced to wear socks with seams in the toes or clothes that fit me wrong or foods that trigger my sensory issues or have my routine thrown off by other people, I would have A LOT more issues. But since I’m an adult, I have control over most aspects of my life. I’m not “less autistic” now, I just have more free will and know myself well enough to avoid triggers.
#autism is a neurodevelopmental condition#you’re born with it#it can’t ‘get better’#BUT!!!!!!#and this is a huge but#you CAN learn ways to deal with it better!!!!#you can learn how to cope#and how to work with autism instead of fighting it#let me tell you. if someone forced me to eat peas right now….. I would scream and cry and throw up from a sensory issues meltdown#but I’m an adult so I just. don’t buy or use peas.#and my mom knows me well enough that if she makes a dinner with peas#she just pulls a portion out for me before adding the peas#actually autistic#actually autism#autism#autistic#neurodivergent
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Hellooooo, I was wondering if you could do some sfw and nsfw alphabet head canon for our beloved Wolverine?? 😝😝💗💕
NSFW ALPHABET
Pairing: Logan Howlett x Reader
Warnings: smut, literally so much shit i can't be bothered putting it all in here 😭
Word count: 1.7k
A/N: never done one of these before but it was fun so enjoy
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Logan is always in a good mood after sex. He'll make sure you're alright, that he didn't go too rough or hurt you, and then he'd just have you in his arms. He'd be content.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of their partner’s)
Logan is a thigh man 😌 he fucking loves your thighs, loves squeezing them when you're sitting together on a couch or when he's driving. He loves being between them and when your thighs squeeze around his head he is a GONE man. Often holds you down by your thighs when he's fucking you.
C = Cum (where they like to cum)
Logan loves cumming inside you. He fucks you raw and loves the feeling of his cum spurting inside your cunt. It makes him crazy, feels like he's claiming you as his, he can't get enough of it.
Often watches it drip out of you just to shove it back in (he Loves cumstuffing 😩)
He also loves coming on your stomach and back, painting you with his cum, but again, he'll cum in you at least once when you're fucking, he can't not give you a cream pie
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He loves the idea of being your first. It's not necessarily a corruption kink, it's more of being able to be the person to introduce you to new things, to be the only person you think of when you think about sex. To be able to talk you through it, teach you tricks, ect.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Obviously Logan has experience what with being hundreds of years old. He loves to try new positions with you, showing you new things and doing stuff with you you haven't done before. He likes introducing you to things and over his 200 years alive he’s experienced A Lot of things
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Logan’s not very picky with his positions. Loves missionary so he can see your face when you come, watching what he’s doing to you. Also loves going behind so he can slam into you and be as rough as he wants. However he’s not opposed to you being on top and riding him, and fucking loves the idea of you using him to get off.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Definitely more serious. He'll play with you and tease you and flirt while fucking you, but he doesn't make jokes or laugh during sex. He gets too wrapped up in fucking you.
H = Hair (do they like hair pulling?)
He'll pull your hair All The Time. Almost painfully so, pulling you back to him when you try to squirm away, when you’re giving him a blowie (also makes u wear his mask sometimes so he can pull on the blow handles)
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
As we know Logan has Issues with intimacy and it often comes as a hard thing for him. Often sex with you is just sex, but thet are some moments where he's fucking you that he feels safe enough to confess his intimacy to you. He's not vulnerable often, but the few times he is it's usually when you're fucking, and he feels safe enough, in power enough, to tell you things.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Logan usually relies on his memories of you when masterbating. He’s an oldie, so doesn’t take many pics/videos of u when fucking (he’s also literally so consumed with fucking you he wouldn’t even think to remember it if he wanted to). Often Calls You, however, and lets you ramble about your day while he gets off to the sound of your voice
“Anything else happen?” he rasps while grunting, pumping his shaft.
“Are you jerking off-”
“Keep talking darlin’, I'm not done yet,” he orders.
And of course you continue.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Breeding is a big one. He loooooves cumming inside of you, filling you with his cum. Never been a fan of wrapping before tapping as they say, so you’re def on birth control. Even so he’ll often whisper dirty things in ur ear abt breeding bc you both just Get Off to that shit
“Gonna breed all my babies into you”
“Fuck, can’t wait to pump you full of my cum, gonna look so pretty pregnant”
ect.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Logan loves to take you away on spontaneous vacation weekends to a lodge cabin in the middle of the mountains, no one else around, and just Fuck you. He goes on all weekend, loving that you’re both alone with no possible interruptions. He goes crazy about having you all to himself.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Tbh you being angry with him, yelling and pointing fingers makes him soooo horny. Angry make up sex is a usual and the ones that go on the longest. He loves taking his pent out aggression on you <3
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Doesn’t like doing anything while you’re sleepy/asleep/drunk/ect. He wants you to know what’s happening, to be invested and feel what he’s doing to you. He’s also around dead ppl a lot (obviously) so having u asleep would remind him too much of dead people and it would just Not be the vibe :/
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Logan is a giver!!! Repeat it with me!! He’s been around for hundreds of years, he’s hot, people have given him blowjobs left and right. Yet there’s only ever been one of you. He’s never had you before, never tasted you or fingerfucked you so ofc he’s so much more obsessed with eating out your pussy to think about receiving anything. (also, with his amount of experience, every time he does eat you out u literally have an out of body experience)
HOWEVER that’s not to say logan doesn’t enjoy receiving. Oh my lord, even if u gave the worst blowjobs in the history of Everything, the knowledge that it was your mouth around his dick would be enough to make him cum (except he’s def taught u a few tricks to make the experience even better for him)
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Bro… do we even need to specify….
Logan is the roughest guy you’ve ever been with. When he gets turned on he gets turned on and doesn’t stop until your limp beneath him unable to form a single coherent sentence. He loves making you cockdrunk and his dumb little fuck toy.
“Oh don’t worry baby, you just stay there and let me fuck you okay? There’s a good fuck toy.” ect.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Tbh Logan is not a fan of quickies. Like if he reeaaally needs it, like if you’re wearing that red dress he bought you that leaves barely anything to the imagination, sure, he’ll have a quickie (becaus tbh how could he not?)
But usually he prefers to wait until you have enough time because he is THOROUGH. He will fuck you over and over, in every single position like 😩
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Logan loooves experimenting. He loves introducing you to new things, finding new ways to push you to the edge and improve your sex life. HOWEVER. Risks are not his thing. He wants you 1. To always feel comfortable and safe with him and 2. All to himself, so he does not like the idea of anyone accidentally seeing you two ect.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?).
It is NEVER one round with Logan. He’ll fuck you on his fingers, fuck you with his cock, his mouth, his thigh, everything, over and over and over again. Like he never tires, and doesn’t think of it as a job well done until you’re a blubbering mess underneath him
T = Toys (do they use toys?)
Logan actually despises toys. He’s an oldie at heart and believes he should be the only thing getting you off. When he catches ur masterbating with a toy, vibrator dildo Does Not Matter, he goes feral. Fucks you till the only thing you can get off too is him.
“You gonna admit it, huh? You gonna admit nothing can make you feel like this but me? Or do i have to fuck you some more? Yeah, i think i need to fuck you some more, really get it into your head Bub.”
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Logan likes the idea of teasing in theory, would love to see you whining and begging to come from his cock, but in reality he just doesn’t have the patience for it. You’d think he learned patience from his 200 years alive but in reality whenever u guys get Into it he’s fucking you almost immediately because he just needs to be inside you.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Logan is always desperate to make you moan. He loves hearing all the dirty desperate noises escaping your mouth and gets mad when you try to muffle it, hence his perfect location being somewhere isolated so you can scream as loud as you want.
Logan himself is rather vocal too. Not loud per say, but he grunts and groans, and loves talking dirty to you.
“Fuck, baby, you’re so good on my cock,”
“You like being fucked like a slut, huh?”
“So wet for me baby.”
ect.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Loves when you mention him during sex. When you scream his name he’s already gone. Wearing his clothes? He’s blowing his load immediately. Saying shit like “i’m yours” “you’re the only one who came make me feel like this” Oh lord he just unravels
What can he say he’s a possessive guy 🤷♀️
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Logan is thick. He’s def larger than average, but he’s thick and wide, and the stretch of his cock inside you is fucking delicious every time.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Logan can literally get turned on at the smallest of things 😭
He’s just so fucking rabid for you, you could be cooking him dinner and he’ll have you on the counter with your legs spread and him between them, lapping at your pussy like a starving man
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Logan isn’t rlly one to fall asleep. He’ll stay up while you doze off and just admire you, brush your hair, kiss your bare shoulders, just content to have you there with him.
#logan howlett#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett smut#logan howlett x reader#x men fic#x men fanfiction#x men smut#x men#wolverine x reader#wolverine fic#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine smut#wolverine#smut
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A Bit of Lunch and Thievery - Spencer Reid
REQUESTED!
The Request: HI! I have a request: What if, kleptomaniac!reader has lunch with spencer at the BAU and keeps yapping loudly about her interests (or her job) and she keeps like taking things from his desk and he keeps slapping her hand away (perchance cameo of some amused BAU members?) -anonymous
CW: light swearing, a suggestive comment, klepto!reader, technically part of my "Smooth Criminal" series but each part can be read as standalone
AN: sorry I was gone for so long lmao lacrosse, school, and depression is rough. also does anyone else struggle writing fics when they're down bad for someone? anywayyyy-
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Words: 1.3k
It was a normal day at the BAU office.
Well, obviously not a normal day considering they were even at the office and not on a jet across the country. The BAU was having a mysteriously mundane day full of filling out and organizing paperwork, so normal and boring that it was almost odd to them.
Of course, the peace had to end eventually.
Spencer Reid’s phone rang, and he was fishing it out of his pocket immediately. The ringtone for this contact was different from the default ringtone that came with the device, different from the ringtone literally every other contact had. She had took the time to download the ringtone herself, stating he should always know when she was calling him because she was oh-so important.
Well, to him, she was.
“Hello?” he said simply, leaning back in his chair. He could see Prentiss seated at her desk, JJ standing over her with a coffee complaining about some over-the-top thing her son, Henry, had done the night prior.
“Hey, babe!” his girlfriend, Y/N, chirped on the other line. She was always so chipper, always so energetic. He was not.
“You know I’m at work, right?” he deadpanned, though the corners of his lips curled ever so slightly. He could never be stone-faced when talking to her.
She was used to his dry tone, not acknowledging it, “Why, yes, I do. Now let me in, I brought you lunch,”
Instantly, his eyes brightened, “Wait, you’re outside right now?”
“Mhm. Now let me in before the food gets cold.”
Within the next six minutes and seventeen seconds, Spencer was back at his desk, but this time, with his lovely girlfriend seated next to him. He quietly ate the Spanish food she had bought as she spoke about her day. It was only 1 p.m., and he was sure she woke up extremely late, but, not to his surprise, she had a lot to say. A lot to say, despite the fact her day consisted of waking up and driving to get Spanish food and visiting him.
“...yeah, I think we should get a dog,” Y/N said after explaining her run-in with a woman and her large doberman. Being herself, upon seeing the doberman running dead at her, instead of running away, Y/N had opened up her arms excitedly to hug the beast.
She was lucky it was a nice doberman.
“A dog?” Spencer’s brows furrowed as he contemplated the idea, “I don’t know…”
“Well why not?” she pouted, and, not to his surprise, snatched the stapler from his desk.
“Because I’m barely home,” he replied, gripping her wrist (a reflex at this point), other hand plucking the stapler from her and placing it back where it was before. “You’d be the one taking care of it the most, and that’s not fair.”
“Hmph,” her eyes darted to the stapler again then back to her rice, “I wouldn’t mind,”
Her hand reached for the stapler again and he gently slapped it, not even acknowledging it. See, his beautiful, wonderful girlfriend had her issues. Main issue being her diagnosed kleptomania, a condition that gave her uncontrollable urges to steal objects, no matter how useless and unneeded.
Like the stapler which she kept eyeing.
Upon his team finding out about her and her condition, they were all incredibly iffy on her, except Garcia, who was the one who uncovered everything anyway. One by one, Y/N was able to get the approval of each teammate, even Rossi, who had disliked her the most.
He still didn’t trust her very much, but the rest of the team found her antics quite amusing.
“Yes you would,” he told her, taking a sip of his drink, “You’d be fine with it for the first month or so, but then you would start getting annoyed with me and telling me I should be helping you take care of our son or daughter or whatever you would like to call it,”
Y/N paused, knowing he was 100% correct. Especially about the son or daughter part. “I think I’m more of a boy mom,”
“Ignoring the point, I see,”
“Shut up,” she grumbled.
“Hey, Reid, good afternoon Reid’s girl,” Morgan greeted with his usual smirk, a decent-sized stack of papers in hand, “Food looks good,”
“It is,” Spencer confirmed. Morgan plopped the papers down onto the genius’ desk. “Did you know there are over one hundred, twenty thousand varieties of rice- Y/N,” he slapped a hand down onto the stack of papers as Y/N went to snatch it up. “No,”
“Sorry,” she grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.
“You are way too fun and entertaining to want to read those,” Morgan joked before deciding to leave back to his own desk.
“Yeah…” she muttered, bringing her hand up to bite her thumb nail nervously, “Way too fun and enter….” she trailed off, Spencer picking up his pen in time before she could snag it. “Shit,” she placed her hands onto her lap, “Maybe I should go…”
“No no no,” Spencer took her hands into his own like he always did when she was getting her urges, “I’m happy you visited me. Stay a little longer,”
“I am a kleptomaniac in a federal building, this was a bad idea,”
“It’s okay, it’s okay, that’s what I’m here for,” he gave her hands a gentle squeeze, “Don’t worry about it, I’ll make sure you don’t leave with anything,”
“A klepto dating a federal agent is so ironic,” she chuckled humorlessly, “How do you deal with me?”
“I don’t deal with you, I don’t tolerate you,” he replied, “Because you’re my girlfriend and I love you. I’m simply with you, because of the fact I love you,”
“Don’t talk to me like that, I’ll fuck you,” she huffed, pulling her hands away while blushing red.
“You did not just say that at my place of work,” he gasped, now blushing as well. He swiftly looked around to see if any of his coworkers were listening. He was sure every single one of them were, considering how nosy they were when it came to his relationship.
“Your fault, don’t talk to me like that,”
“Don’t talk sweetly to my girlfriend?”
“Makes me all blushy and giggly,” she shrugged, beginning to smile as she looked away.
“I’ll talk to you like one of your directors, I suppose,” Spencer teased gently. Y/N was an incredibly strong dancer, and had her experiences with rude and stress-inducing directors.
She rolled her eyes and laughed, “I’ll kill myself,” Her eyes met his and she giggled softly, leaning in for a quick kiss, which he returned happily.
“They’re so cute,” JJ told Prentiss fondly, taking a sip of her coffee, “They’re really good for each other,”
“They are,” Prentiss agreed with a nod and smile, “They’re the kind of people who you would least expect get together, but it just makes sense when they do,”
At that moment, Hotch entered, a stressed look on his face. JJ and Prentiss exchanged looks, already thinking it was time to pack for a new case.
Instead, he simply asked, “Has anyone seen my ID?”
Agent Aaron Hotchner? Losing his ID? Something so important, belonging to someone so aware and responsible? A completely out-of-character thing for him to do-
“Uh,” Y/N cleared her throat awkwardly, giving Spencer a knowing look.
With a sigh, Spencer held out a hand, allowing her to drop Hotch’s ID into it.
#spencer reid criminal minds#doctor spencer reid#spencer reid#dr spencer reid#criminal minds fandom#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fic#criminal minds#bau team#spencer reid fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#dr spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fluff#mgg#matthew gray gubler#dr reid#mgg x reader#mgg x y/n#mgg x you
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To peel this apart a little:
Attempts were made to "plug in hard drives" at three separate agencies:
OPM, which oversees hiring and firing procedures, and holds eletronic personnel records, including for employees involved with classified and sensitive programs
GSA, which controls facilities, as well as oversees leases, rentals, purchasing and contracts
The Treasury Department, which controls overall cash flow of the government, bond issues, grants to states and other entities, and much more; if the report is exact, it suggests Musk's representatives were specifically interested in Social Security and Medicare, which comprises some $6 trillion in cash flow annually.
They plugged, or tried to, external hard drives into sensitive, complicated government systems.
They may have been "only" wanting to download masses of data. (Masses so big IIRC, how many drives are we talking about? Or were they after sonething more specific, like certain people?)
They could also have messed with the systems' functioning
They possibly could also have ERASED data
Or redirected funds
Or otherwise mucked these systems up, through ignorance, incompetence, or malice
Musk's people tried to steal data, or whatever their business was, clandestinely. Why? There are laws and regulations about protecting personal privacy. Most likely explanation, they were acting illegally and they knew it. How much Trump or White House staff knew, and whether there was any sort of formal or informal authorization, is an open question.
"were caught"
"were discovered"
Civil servants resisted.
"His staff encountered resistance"
"Tensions escalated"
"employees speaking out"
[From other sources] one top non-political Treasury employee, David Lebryk, has chosen to leave government in response to the demands.
And they responded to resistance aggressively:
"locked civil servants out of computer systems and offices"
"reports of personal items being searched"
There is obviously more to the story. Who were these rogue characters exactly? Did they show ID, presumably? What ID? Did they show written authorization? How did these rogue characters lock out official staff, let alone search their stuff (for what?), did they show up with strongarm security, or take charge of security staff on site?
What were they specifically after, and what was the hard drives' intended destination?
Our members of Congress — even in the minority — have a right to demand answers. And share them, especially if personal info was compromised. In a just world, there'd be a thorough investigation, of course.
It sounds like Lebryk was doing his job to protect the data and got orders from higher up that he couldn't, in conscience, carry out. From whom? What exactly took place? I hope he will feel able to tell us more. (And I hope he'll consult witn attorneys. IANAL, but there is a thing called "constructive discharge," e.g., and if he was given an illegal order that ought to have ramifications.)
How much did they actually get into, what did they do, are the systems okay?
And what now?
Anyone?
(continue reading)
#politics#republicans#elon musk#david lebryk#fascism#privacy rights violations#oligarchy#federal workers#crony capitalism#data mining#data theft
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Before someone sends a pipe bomb to my house, is it really that horrible and controversial to say that Jimmy was just as much of a victim failed by the same disgusting system as everyone else? While support from loved ones is important, he needed actual resources. We don’t know anything about him beyond that he was struggling, so all we can assume is that he couldn’t hold down a job that was definitely due to his severe mental health issues. There’s nothing wrong with being an advocate for a friend, but it’s incredibly irresponsible to put someone you know is unstable into a literal inescapable environment for MONTHS with people who don’t know what they’re getting into and ripping him away from the possibility of actual helpful resources like intense therapy, psychiatric counseling, and rehabilitation. This man needed to be surrounded by professional and community support systems, not a friend who dismisses everything he does because how is that productive at all? So many people are avoiding this conversation because they believe they’re dismissing what he did by being empathetic in that way and it drives me up the fucking wall.
Although I’m not an obsessive, violent, sociopathic narcissist, it’s painful just dealing with being bipolar, past suicidal deviation, and comparing myself to my best friends who have accomplished way more than me while I’ve been struggling to fill out even one job application. The capitalist system we live in grinds us down to our bones that if we can’t climb up the social ladder, that if we can’t pick ourselves up from our lowest alone, we aren’t worth shit and are weak—which leads to people like Jimmy lashing out on everything and everyone to gain some sense of superiority.
As someone who is extremely passionate about how capitalism has completely obliterated what it means to be in a caring community because of its intrinsic suffocating individualism, its exploitation of the lower class, and how we are chained down to an unforgiving inherent debt for our whole lives, I just find it childish that so many people avoid thinking about this aspect of his character or completely override him from the story all together.
As much as I LOATH him, I can’t help but wonder what could’ve happened if he did get the help he needed before Curly roped him into PE. While it unfortunately blew up in Anya and Curly’s face because they were taken advantage of, is it that fucking horrible to believe that someone can grow and change if given the chance (as long as they obviously don’t hurt you in the process)? It’s the same reason why the prison system—especially the American prison industrial complex—should be abolished because how the fuck is locking someone up for the rest of their lives going to do anything for anybody in the long run? Obviously he needed to be brought to legal justice, but I believe that we should start at the core of why he is the way he is, what will be effective for everybody in the long run, and the possibility of him being reintroduced into society once he gets his mf shit together before people start pulling him this way and that (with boundaries ofc.) I’m a victim of sexual assault and emotional abuse myself, but I don’t want that person to rot behind bars. I just want to heal and move on. I don’t want revenge, I want closure. I want to be able to face that person and know that they won’t hurt anybody else if I am to believe that I myself can grow beyond what happened.
I know that many other creators have expressed the same sentiments already, but I needed to get that off my chest too.
Anyways, this game means so much to me because it touches on societal issues that I care about. Fuck capitalism and may everyone be free from this hell.
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#mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#wrong organ#anti capitalism#mental health#prison abolition#media literacy#class consciousness#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing
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TLOVM S3 and Campaign 1 spoilers!
I’m looping back to this moment because it's all I've been able to think about all day.
The context is super serious, Vex genuinely thinks Percy is about to die, but she did not have to say that first part. She could've just said "They're gonna kill Percy" and that would've gotten the message across. Scanlan's literally in tears, but hey, it's Scanlan being Scanlan, he needs to cut it out so we can focus on the important stuff.
What Scanlan hears is "you and your problems matter less."
Later everyone's hugging Percy, and Pike is the only one who acknowledges Scanlan's help. I mentioned it in an earlier post but Pike's line "I'm so glad you found us" really drives home for Scanlan that he had to find them. They weren't concerned that he was gone, I'm not sure anyone but Pike knew what he was doing. No one even mentioned the fact that he was separate from the group until it was an issue, and they cared again when he helped.
Obviously, we know the group loves Scanlan, but that's not what he sees. He sees people he's constantly risking his life for, who don't even thank him for it.
"We went and battled a city of vampires so Percy could feel good about his name.
We fought goliaths for Grog,
we've traveled across planes of existence so you could fix you're fucking daddy issues,
but you've never done anything for me!"
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AITA for dating a 27 year old man?
I (31M) have been with my boyfriend (27M) for over a year now. We met in college but didn’t really talk or anything because we didn’t have classes together but met up later on Facebook and actually got to know each other. After months of talking, video chatting and needing out about similar stuff he told me he liked me. We started going out and now we’re a thing.
People say he is too young for me. We’re both at similar life stages though - both moved out, both can drive, both working retail. Only difference is I don’t have my degree yet due to health problems and work making it hard for me to take a full course load but I’m close to done now - only a semester left until I catch up to him in terms of being a real adult.
Anyway, people say our relationship is toxic and imbalanced. They say it’s a case of grooming because of the age difference and that he should be with someone still in their 20s. I could obviously understand why people would be concerned if, for instance, we started dating when he was 20 and I was 24. That would’ve been really weird. That’s two completely different life stages right there. However, I think 27 and 31 are a lot closer together in terms of life stages.
 There is one thing I feel guilty about. I have a physical disability. I mentioned early on that I had issues with my physical health (chronic pain). I’m fairly functional most of the time, but sometimes I have flareups. During these flareups, he made the decision to help me out.  By that, I mean that sometimes he helps me come over and move heavy things or give me rides to places like the doctor if I’m in too much pain to drive. I don’t make him do these things, but he has offered.
Some people have said that, even if we were the same age, it would be wrong for me to date him In this condition. They described me allowing him to do those things as taking advantage of him and that’s something I do feel guilty about. It’s not one-sided. I also try to be able assistance to him whenever he needs it. 
They also mentioned that he can do better than me and deserves someone younger, healthier, who has an actual degree and makes more money. When I bring this up though, he doesn’t seem like he wants to leave. He told me he likes me and he wants to still be with me. Am I the asshole?
What are these acronyms?
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I’m an anarchocommunist that thinks a lot of other anarchists are stupid. For example, I don’t think that most people will just make insulin or do garbage collection/processing out of the kindness of their heart, and I also don’t think if it was genuinely done out of the kindness of their hearts that it’d work great. My idea is that for the “getting people to do the shitty jobs” question, the people that do those jobs should be compensated better in some way. Maybe a larger/nicer house, I’m not sure on the details. But other anarchists will say “all labor is equal”, and while I’d like to agree in the “work is hard” sense, I think things for the obvious common good, like teacher or garbage man or doctor deserve some sort of reward over other jobs. And for the efficiency of the labor, I think *specifically for labor* there needs to be some sort of organization, and we can use what’s worked before. We don’t need to have bathtub insulin if there’s a factory right there, and if there’s no connection from the insulin factory to doctors/pharmacists and truck drivers then it won’t work either. Really, my main problem with Marxism/Leninism or Stalinism or Maoism or any combination of those is that there are specific people with far too much power over others. I’m ok with light power in the way of “man you gotta drive the firetruck to the burning building even though you hate the dude that lives there”, but I’m not ok with the idea of a supreme leader or representatives in a political sense due to as I’ve amounts of power obviously corrupting people.
Really I’m sending this to you to get your criticism of my ideas- I think you’re pretty smart, and even if I disagree with you on some issues, I think I agree with you on others. I also want to say that not all anarchists are… like that.
So, years ago, before I started reading any Marxist theory, this is about where I was at politically. If you think about any of the practicalities, you come up to points where, very clearly, the maxim of 'no authority at all' conflicts with being able to do anything. If you're seriously considering how society could be better organised, if this is something you actually intend on bringing about, then you make some amount of concession to reality - as you did with the firetruck example!
Now, myself, I went on like this for a good while, coming up with methods of truly democratic organisation that wouldn't be susceptible to the types of totalitarianism I'd heard about, ending up very similar to your position. I was interested, however, in how these 'failed experiments' that I'd learned devolved into bureaucracy started out, and I started reading up on the history, and realised, with some discontent, that what I'd developed, once I'd made all the concessions for reality that would be necessary if this system were to be the actual one real human beings lives depended on, was essentially identical to the Soviet system.
From there, I read up on Marxist theory, still basically wary that this had all, at some point, been taken over by an evil dictator, but able to see that the earliest stages, at least, had been exactly what I was imagining, but put into practice. Reading the theory, reading how their experience experimenting with different forms of organisation, and the failures of some types, had led them to discover what did and didn't work, and adjust accordingly, made me suddenly appreciate why certain things were done certain ways. The harsh experiences of civil war had revealed certain dynamics and mechanics in the way society and production worked, which translates into political theories that bore out results I wouldn't have expected (and neither had the communists who had discovered them through practice!).
Eventually, with some chagrin and a significant deal of excitement, I realised that much of what I'd passively absorbed about socialism, many of the common-sense maxims that I'd been taught by capitalist society about the nature of power and so on, were very much artifacts of a decades-long war against these communists and the system they'd built, carried out by exactly the corporations and empires I had thought myself opposed to.
I won't critique any individual point of yours, but I will enjoin you to try out some Marxist theory - Dialectical and Historical Materialism, or Socialism, Utopian and Scientific, or Principles of Communism, or even the Communist Manifesto, and to read between the lines of whatever capitalist source you read on socialism, to notice every [citation needed] and wonder what actually happened such that someone felt the need to make something up.
#when it comes to marxist theory I don't understand it fully on first read at all.#often I'll go on to read something else and come back to it with that new text in mind - and come to a much better understanding of both#so if you do take my advice I'd ask you to bear with the text even if it seems impenetrable or transparent
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