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toru-oikawas-milkbread · 3 years ago

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Heartsick | Pt.1

Pairing: Atsumu Miya x f!reader

Prompt/summary: After years of having a horrible on and off relationship with whom you thought to be the love of your life, you finally decide that enough is enough. You chose your own happiness for once, but after leaving the man who had been acting strangely amazing lately, you felt empty. You were always torn, wondering if you had made the right or wrong choice. Wondering if you wouldn’t be so upset if you’d stayed with the man, but when you were silently sulking in a café about it, your old friend and Atsumu’s teammate Sakusa comes and approaches you to talk about the man who was apparently miserable, you couldn’t help yourself from running over to his apartment after hearing what Sakusa had to say

Word count: 6.5K

Warnings/contents: Mild language, angst, happy ending!!

Notes: It’s angst (with a happy ending) time 😏

I’m honestly surprised that I got this whole thing done in one day even though I had a tiny bit of this prompt already wrote down. Anyways, I hope that you enjoy this! I was thinking about making a part 2 for this chapter but making it a smut for a desperate get-back-together kind of sex chapter. Any thoughts on this? Even if nobody says anything, I’m probably going to do it, though I always love some feedback. You’ll have to let me know if you enjoyed this chapter in the comments!

Part 1 (current chapter) | Part 2 (Heartsick Pt.2)

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The expression “Right person, wrong time” was something that had turned out to be more true than you ever thought that it was. You could remember seeing it and hearing it when you were younger, but you’d never personally experienced it until your current boyfriend.

His name was Atsumu Miya and you swore that you were always going to be in love with him. You met back in middle school and it felt like the second that you had met eyes with him, he was somebody that you’d wanted in your life. You wanted to be with him forever, and your opinion on him didn’t differ as you got closer, in fact you’d only found yourself liking him more. When he started to express interest in you as well, it was what had seemed like the happiest day of your life; you never thought that such a happy day could have been a memory turned so bitter.

Until you got to high school. After your second year at Inarizaki, your relationship started to get rocky, and starting at 16 years old you had only found yourself jealous of one thing in other people’s lives. While you were usually happy for others and their accomplishments, you envied the stability that people had in their lives and especially in their relationships.

Your best friend had fallen in love in high school the same year that your relationship had started to get a bit shaky, and now even 5 years later they were happily married and you felt stuck. 5 years was how long you’d been with Atsumu if you didn’t count the occasional break ups and weeks that you spent not talking. After one big fight in high school that you’d agreed to talk out, everything went downhill. It was extremely frustrating to be so unstable in your love-life.

What bothered you the most was that when Atsumu decided that he didn’t want to fight anymore, he would just walk out. But even then, every time that he came back with a flower in his hand, he looked like a kicked puppy and somehow played with your heartstrings and convinced you to talk it all out.

Every time that Atsumu rolled his eyes at you, you found yourself wishing that you hadn’t heard him out the last time. That maybe if you’d just told him to leave, that this clearly wasn’t going to work out, you might have possibly found yourself in a stable, loving relationship by now— but instead you didn’t tell him to go and you were constantly left wondering if Atsumu was going to start a fight and break up with you again every day, just to come back with a flower and a sad apology. Despite how much of an asshole he could be in fights, he sure knew how to make up for what he said and did.

For a week anyways.

Your friend was always trying to convince you to leave him, but what could you say? You were in love with him and it was hard to imagine a life without Atsumu Miya. As much of an unbearable asshole as he could be, you really did have a lot of good memories with him.

As much as you claimed to hate him in an argument, as much as he annoyed you when he made countless promises to be better only to break them sooner than expected, you couldn’t help it. You had always been in love with him, and even when you thought about leaving him, you were certain that you were always going to be.

The reason you had become the manager of the volleyball team at Inarizaki was all because of him. You’d hardly ever really had an interest in volleyball, but you learned everything you could about it just so you could have something to talk to the cute boy about. You’d become the manager to make him happy just like you’d tutored him to help him— you never had been a fan of teaching things, but there was something about his little smile when he got an answer right and getting extra time with him that made it all worth it.

It was downright pathetic— the things that you had always been willing to do for this boy— but being this in love with him had made you do things you weren’t necessarily proud of. Atsumu Miya was just the latest of confusing men that women fell for every day.

Unfortunately for you, the love that you had always craved so badly from Atsumu was falling apart in front of your eyes— as if it was ever held together by anything more than you anyways— and it was getting more taxing with every argument. Every eye roll. Every word uttered beneath either of your breath. Every night that you fell asleep in his arms while he was already asleep, the lingering fear of him leaving you tomorrow and this being the last time you got to sleep in his warmth keeping you awake just to enjoy his presence and how good he’d always smelt.

As much as you wanted to endure it, it was simply too much for you. It broke your heart every night to curl against his sleeping body. It it was a hard realization that you were forced to realize, but the highs in your relationship weren’t long or happy enough to suffer through these lows anymore.

You were snapped from your thought process as you watched the water boil on the stove in front of you. The water was far beyond ready for the noodles, but despite the chicken almost being done, you had spaced out and the only thing that had brought you back was the sound of the front door shutting.

“Hey, I’m home.” Atsumu said, peeking around the counter and watching you look up from the water. “You alright, babe?” You sent him a small smile and nodded, reaching for the noodles while he eyed you skeptically.

“How was practice?” You asked, watching the childish grin you’d always been so fond of quickly grow onto his face.

“It was great! Omi and I are really starting to get a good rhythm down!” He said, having told you numerous times that he wasn’t sure if he and Kiyoomi were ever going to get down the passes. He had it locked with Hinata and Bokuto, but there was something about Kiyoomi that had always been off despite knowing the boy longest— though that was purely because of you. You’d gone to elementary school with Kiyoomi and gotten close with the man, and even though the two of you hadn’t spoken much, you’d always considered him a good friend and Atsumu had met him when the two of you were just starting high school.

“That’s good,” you said, dumping the noodles into the pot and leaning over to set the empty box on the counter. Atsumu leaned over the counter and quickly pressed a kiss to your lips that made your heart thump hard in your chest.

“I gotta go shower, I’ll be right back.” You smiled again and nodded, though sighing when the bedroom door shut. You fought with the urge to just let go of your personal grudge against him this time and stay, trying to tell yourself that it wasn’t worth it to stay, but you were so in love with him that even a mere smile from him made your heart start to race.

How were you supposed to let go of something that you loved so dearly? It had been over a few weeks since he had started anything with you, but how much longer would it last? How much longer would it be until Atsumu argued with you again and left you crying?

You were fighting with the pro’s and con’s for so long that you didn’t even notice how fast time went by until Atsumu’s arms wrapped around your waist and a soft kiss was pressed to your neck. You instinctively leaned back against the man as you stirred the noodles, reaching a hand down and placing it on top of his that rested on your stomach.

“How was your day, baby?” He asked quietly, nuzzling his nose against your neck. His hair was still damp and you felt a drop of water slide down your neck, but you could have cared less as you relished in his arms around you. No matter how hard you tried to fight it, you loved him. You wanted him to hold you. You wanted him to love you. Maybe it hurt now, but what if it didn’t tomorrow?

“It was alright,” you said back softly, giving his hand a light squeeze that prompted another kiss on the neck from the man.

Havin’ a hard day?” He asked, feeling your soft nod right afterwards. “Do ya want me to finish dinner?” You shook your head and looked at the time.

“It’s okay, it’s almost done.” You said, unfortunately feeling his strong arms loosen around you as he pulled back.

“I’ll set the table.” He said, getting chopsticks, napkins, and waters for both of you.

“Thank you,” you said, peeking back at the man for a second before grabbing your hot pad and getting the chicken out of the oven. You set the pan on the stovetop and took the pot you were boiling the noodles in and strained them free of water. Atsumu yawned, leaning against the counter and watching you while you brought the noodles back over in the pot. You met his eye as you finished preparing dinner, frowning a bit. “What are you staring at me like that for?”

“I can’t just look at ya?” He asked with a little smirk, watching you hum and look back to the noodles.

“I guess you can do whatever you want,” you said, grabbing plates and extending your hand out with his. “They are your eyes after all.”

After a few minutes of playful bickering about Atsumu looking at you, you found yourself laughing with him again and damn near falling back into his arms like you knew he wanted. You knew that Atsumu wasn’t stupid. He’d noticed your distance since the last fight, and he was doing everything he could to ease you back into his arms, and tonight was the first night that it was starting to work.

But that was the issue.

As you sat on the little chair in the living room reading a book after dinner and cleaning up together, Atsumu was watching a match for a team they were going up against in their upcoming game. You were torn because Atsumu had been in such a good mood today, but you had to remind yourself that didn’t mean he’d be in a good mood tomorrow or the day after that.

You were chewing on your lip, peeking up from your book at the man that you had been with for 5 years now.

What to do, what to do, what to do.

You sighed, closing your book and setting it on the coffee table without even as little as catching Atsumu’s attention. You looked at him, trying to decide if you really wanted to deal with the confrontation tonight or get one more good night out of this before you broke things off for good, or if you wanted to say you were going to make tea. It was a harder decision than you thought it should have been.

“Atsumu?” You started softly. He peeked at you, turning the game down a few notches with a cute, innocent look on his face that made your already second guessing mind struggle that much more with your decision.

Was this really what you wanted?

“Yeah?” You hesitated for a second before the words seemed to just fall out of your mouth.

“I want to break up.” He hesitated, the cute look on his face quickly changing as his eyebrows turned upwards and he sent you a pathetically sad and confused look.

“What?” He asked, wishing he’d heard you wrong. He turned his attention completely away from the game as he shifted to face you better on the sofa. “Why?”

“Because. I’m tired of waking up and wondering if today is going to be the day that you leave and don’t come back.” You refused to meet his sad eyes, not wanting to break down and give in to him like you did every other time that the two of you argued and talked about breaking up.

“Baby, please— I swear that this time is different.” He said in a pleading tone, leaning over his legs a bit and trying to look at your face.

“That’s what you said last time.” You said, mustering up the courage to look at him and immediately regretting it when you saw the thin layer of tears welling up in his eyes; unlike times in the past, Atsumu wasn’t the one breaking up with you. Your roles were usually switched with you being the one who looked hurt with tears in your eyes. Seeing Atsumu this close to crying made your chest ache.

“Please, (y/n)— please, just give me this one last chance.” He begged. “I promise that things are different this time.” He pressed. “I don’t want to lose you, baby— please.”

“I don’t want to lose you either, Atsumu— but last time was your last chance.” You said, picking ruthlessly at the skin around your fingernails. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“Please, just one more chance.” He begged. “This time really is different— please.” He begged, a single tear sliding down his cheek. “Please, I promise I’m going to do better. I promise I’m not going to fight with you about stupid little things anymore. Last time was it, baby— I promise.”

“Atsumu, if I give you one more chance today, what’s stopping me from giving you another last chance next time that you break your promise and start a fight over something stupid with me and leave again?” You asked, and he was surprisingly silent. “What’s going to stop this from happening again, and again, and again— until one day we end up right back here.”

“It won’t happen!” He promised. “I’m doing better, babe— I’m trying. I don’t want to lose you, please— one more chance, I promise I’ll do better this time.”

“If you convince me to stay this time, you’ll convince me to stay next time and I can’t handle this anymore, Atsumu. As much as it hurts me to leave you, it hurts me to stay here wondering if you’re happy with me or if you’re going to leave.” You persisted, biting back the urge to cry and break because of his hurt face. “I’m sorry, Atsumu. I really love you more than anything, but I can’t be with you anymore.”

3 weeks had passed since you had cut off all ties with Atsumu. You moved back home until you could find an apartment to live in, getting scolded for living with your boyfriend yet again because your mother had told you that it wasn’t going to work out in the first place. She’d reminded you how she said you should never move in with someone unless you were married, but you were too upset about everything that had happened with Atsumu to do anything but nod and apologize.

What you were apologizing for, you weren’t sure, but it was like the ordeal with Atsumu— it was better to get it over with so you could move on.

Unfortunately, you were yet to move on. Atsumu was stuck in your head, his face recurring in your dreams where he was so close yet so far, his face being on billboards and the side of buildings everywhere, yet even when you didn’t see his face, you thought of him. Even now, three weeks later, he was still all over your camera roll. It had hurt you too much to go through and delete the numerous photos of just him or the two of you together, so you were waiting until you were stronger, but you weren’t sure if that day was ever going to come.

To try and get your mind off of the man, you decided to go out and get coffee and pet cats. The cat café was a place that you had frequently gone to calm yourself down after fights with Atsumu, but you hadn’t been there in awhile because you’d thought only about him the whole time you were there last time.

You avoided any thoughts of the man as you sipped your coffee and stroked the cat’s back. He sat on your lap, purring softly. He was a resident cat who’d always taken a liking to you and wanted to cuddle with you, something that you were not opposed to, but feeling bad because you had to leave eventually and he always looked sadly at you.

With a quiet sigh, you refocused your eyes on the cat who’s eyes were closed as you pet him.

“You’ve got a nice life, huh?” You whispered even though there was only one other person in the room and she was all the way across the room. The cat gave a purr in response, something that made you smile a little bit. “Wanna trade? I can get pet all day and sleep on people’s laps while you have to be a person and deal with heartbreak—” You looked up when you heard the door open, a past memory of Atsumu coming here to see you after the two of you got into a fight coming to mind, but the man who walked in wasn’t your ex— instead it was his teammate and your old friend.

Though he didn’t seem to see you as he walked over to a different table across the room and gave a cat a gentle head scratch. You looked at Kiyoomi, wondering if you should approach him or if you should pretend like you hadn’t even seen or recognized him. You were certain the team knew by the day that it had happened— especially Kiyoomi. Despite his obvious annoyance, Atsumu had never stopped pestering the man and calling him “Omi-Omi,” something that you thought was cute while Kiyoomi seemed to hate it.

You turned your attention back to the cat that was on your lap, sipping your coffee and relishing in the silence. You could only hear purring and soft meows from the other cats that ran around. You smiled, rubbing the cats head and sighing. You thought you would have felt better by now, but unfortunately you were still sad, missing what used to be. You were trying to allow yourself to grieve what used to be, but the grieving wasn’t ending as quickly as you would have liked it to.

While you were stuck in your trance, Omi had looked over and recognized you. Much like you, he’d struggled deciding whether if not he wanted to go and say hello to you, but as a close old friend of yours, he thought it was part of his job as a friend to check up on you. He hadn’t since he’d heard about the break up— however that was ironically all he had heard about lately. Atsumu was lost without you and Kiyoomi was driven crazy by the man ten times more than usual.

Silently, the man got up and started to walk over to you, trying to decide what to say when he caught the pitiful look on your face in the reflection on the glass beside you. He almost felt bad for both of you, but after hearing about the relationship, he’d thought that separation would be better for you, but now he wondered if maybe it wasn’t better after all.

“You finally dumped him, huh?” A voice asked, catching your attention. You looked up, sending Kiyoomi a little smile and gesturing to the empty seat in front of you.

“How did you know?”

“You look sadder than you do when he breaks it off with you.” You cringed, meeting the man’s eyes as he pulled his mask down a little bit and sipped his coffee.

“Am I really that obvious?” A soft sigh came from your friend as he shook his head and set his coffee down on the table.

“What is it that you want, (y/n)?” He asked, but it had confused you. You frowned, looking at the man and softly shaking your head.

“I don’t understand what you’re asking me.”

“You’ve wanted him to love you for so long, haven’t you?” Softly nodding, you were still curious as to what the man was asking of you. “I’m not saying that breaking things off is the worst idea you’ve ever had, but… fuck,” he mumbled, looking away from your curious face. “Atsumu really does love you, (y/n).” He said, thinking back to the last practice match they’d had where the man had seemed as if he’d just completely given up after one little mishap. Usually it was Bokuto who gave up after messing up a play. “I’m not saying you have to get back with him, but… if this isn’t what you want, and it isn’t what Atsumu wants—” He started, but you cut him off.

“I can’t give him another chance. The last couple chances were his last, Omi. If I give in and I go back, it’s just gonna happen all over again like it always does.” You said, looking down and fiddling with your fingers. “It doesn’t matter if I love him and he loves me— we’re not right for each other and no amount of love can change that.” Kiyoomi hesitated for a second before he frowned.

“That was awfully pessimistic.” He said in a scolding tone that caught your attention. “I don’t know what happened those last few days up until your break up, but I do know that you’ve never once viewed something so pessimistically like that.”

“The last few days�� he was great.” You mumbled, looking back down. “He was great, but I was scared that it was going to go back to what became our normal all those years ago, and… I’m so tired of always being heartbroken, Omi. I thought that breaking it off would be better, but so far it hasn’t helped at all.”

“You know… he told me not to tell you this, but I’ve never liked taking sides between the two of you anyways,” he started, watching you play with your fingers anxiously. “About… I want to say a week and a half before you broke up, Atsumu told me that he felt bad. He made me sit there in the locker room with him for hours before he finally shut up about you.” He said, catching your attention once again with his words and mentions of Atsumu. There was only one day before you’d dumped the man that he was out at practice late, but now you wondered if he had lied and why he had lied.

“You guys weren’t practicing late that night?”

“No, everyone was gone, but Atsumu was damn near in tears asking me what he was supposed to do.”

“What do you mean…?”

“He told me that the last time you’d gotten into a big fight, he’d been pretty hard on himself and he noticed that you weren’t so bothered anymore. He was telling me that he was worried you were going to leave him for good this time. He was asking me what to do and how to salvage your relationship as if I was in a relationship of my own.” Kiyoomi rolled his eyes at the memory, but you were staring at him in shock.

“Atsumu wanted to salvage us…?”

“More than I think I’ve ever seen him want anything.” Kiyoomi scratched the back of his neck as he sighed. “Like I said, I’m not saying getting back together is the right choice, but what I am saying is that Atsumu loves you. You said he was great?” You nodded and bit your tongue.

“He was damn near perfect for longer than he ever was after a fight.”

“It’s real subtle, but… when Atsumu starts trying, he really puts in his all. I think he took what I said to heart. I told him he needed to start acting like an adult,” he filled in your question before you even had the chance to ask him what he had said that night. “I told him that he was acting like a child and the only way he was going to be able to keep you in his life like he wanted was to start being better. To bite his tongue and stop needing to be right all the time.” He sighed as he took another sip of his coffee. “Guess my words only did more harm than good if it made you push him away instead of loving him again, huh?”

You stared at the man in complete silence for a second before you suddenly picked the fluffy cat up off your lap and shoved him into Kiyoomi’s hands and grabbed your bag before hurrying out of the building without a word. Kiyoomi looked out into the street as you passed by, frowning and meeting eyes with the cat.

“Those fucking idiots better get back together or else you’re getting fur all over me for no good damn reason.”

You hurried down the street, grabbing your phone and dialing Osamu’s number. The line rung for a few seconds before Osamu’s voice came through on the other end of the line.

“(y/n)? It’s been awhile, what’s up?” He asked, though like with Kiyoomi, you completely ignored his words.

“Samu, is Atsumu there?” You asked, saying a quick apology to an elder woman that you ran past.

“No, why? You planning on coming over? I can set aside an Onigiri for you if you want.” He said, though that was the last thing on your mind.

“Do you know where he is?”

“Uh, no. He should be at home.” Osamu said, unbothered by the fact that you’d now ignored two of his questions.

“Okay, thanks,” you said as you quickly hung the phone up and finished running the short distance from the café to the old apartment that you used to share with Atsumu. Thankfully the lobby only had one person in it as you hurried to the stairs and quickly ran up to the 6th floor, skipping a step each time despite the burning in your legs. It had been awhile since you’d run, you’d give yourself that, but worrying about being tired wasn’t important as you pushed open the 6th floor door and hurried to room 5 where you’d lived for 2 and a half years.

As you stopped and knocked on the door, you panted, waiting a second before knocking loudly again.

“Atsumu!” You called, but there was nobody on the other side. Because Kiyoomi was out of practice, you knew that it wasn’t going on and Atsumu wouldn’t be in the shower, but you could only hope that Osamu had been right and he was home. You pounded on the door, chewing anxiously on your bottom lip. “Atsumu, are you home?” You called, but again there was nothing. You stopped knocking, looking sadly at the door before leaning in. “Are you just ignoring me?” You asked, but there wasn’t even the sound of footsteps shuffling around inside of the apartment or a tv on. “Atsumu, please— if you’re in there will you come talk to me?”

Nothing.

You sighed in defeat, thinking he either wasn’t home or he was completely ignoring you. Not knowing what else to do, you slowly started to walk home, hoping to make it before dark, but not caring enough to walk any faster even as the sun started to change to a pretty mix of pink and purple hues as the sky turned orange. You rubbed your tired eyes and sighed as you headed the mile to your new apartment building. You passed by couples, kids, teenagers, older people who held hands, and it all was like a slap to the face.

Even when you were sad about the breakup, you’d never thought you would hurt this bad. To hear that Atsumu really was trying and he wasn’t only putting on a show had made your hopes shoot through the roof, but knowing your luck he was probably already moved on. Three weeks was a long time and more than your ex-boyfriend before Atsumu had taken before replacing you with someone he obviously deemed prettier.

You wondered on the walk home who you would see Atsumu with his arm draped around next. The thought made your skin crawl as you pushed open the door to your apartment building and started to walk up the stairs. You only lived on the second floor, leaving your tired legs less of a walk than before.

As you went to push open the 2nd floor door, it pulled open and yanked you against someone.

“Oh— sorry—” You said, though a voice spoke at the same time.

“Sorry, I didn’t know anyone else was here—” You looked up, meeting familiar brown eyes and feeling your breath hitch in your throat as his adams apple bobbled. “Oh— (y/n)— I was lookin’ for ya.” He said, though he looked guilty. “I, uh… I really didn’t want to bother ya. I… well, I heard ya when you told me that you were done,” he started, making your chest ache, “And I know ya probably don’t believe me because here I am with a flower and… yer probably wondering how I even know where ya live— but Omi made me come— well, not made me come,” he rambled. “I wanted to come— believe me— but… I really did hear ya and...” He sighed, looking down and sniffling a bit. “Sorry. I’ll go.” He mumbled as you were processing his rambling, but before he was able to move past you, you wrapped your arms around the man’s torso and buried your face against his chest.

In shock, he stumbled backwards a bit, the 2nd floor door sliding from his fingers and shutting while he looked at you in shock.

“Please don’t go.” You said so softly that he almost didn’t hear you, but much to your pleasure, he had processed your words after a second. Gently and hesitantly, Atsumu wrapped his arms around your waist and loosely held onto you, the flower still in his hand and only slightly crumpled from when he’d tried catching you as you fell into him when he yanked the door open too hard and too fast.

“You… don’t want me to go…?” He asked softly, confused. This was the direct opposite of what you’d wanted three weeks ago.

“No, I don’t.” You spoke as quietly as he had. “Omi came to see me at the cat café and told me that you talked to him that night you said you were practicing late.” Atsumu flushed, looking away even though you weren’t looking at him.

“Oh, yeah…”

“Was he… really being serious?” You asked, not bothering to pull back quite yet and instead relishing in the smell of his cologne for the first time in what felt like forever even though it was only a few weeks. You didn’t think that Kiyoomi was the lying type, but you hadn’t done so much as even thought about what to say to Atsumu if you’d caught him in his apartment. “Did you really want to fix… well, us?” You asked, missing the soft nod that the man gave before he spoke.

“Omi yelled at me.“ He said. “I was tellin’ him about a fight we had, and he told me I was being childish. That I needed to stop actin’ like a little kid and fix things with you or leave you alone, and I didn’t want to leave you alone. I really do love ya, (y/n).” You hesitated for a second before peeking up at the man.

“Even still?”

“Of course I do. I know I was bad at showin’ it, but you were always my everything, (y/n). You were always there for me when I was actin’ stupid or I was strugglin’. You used to help me study and you would be my friend when everyone else hated me. I think you really deserved to hate me, too, but once you really did hate me, I… well, I hated it.” He huffed, wrapping his arms a bit tighter around you but not looking at you. “I never thought it would bother me so much to feel you being so distant, but after that last fight, things just weren’t the same and I knew I really screwed up. I asked Omi for help and I wanted to fix it. I don’t blame ya for leavin’ me, (y/n). I treated you badly for too long for you to believe I could ever change.” He sighed and met your eyes again. “I don’t know what I expected to be different this time, but… here I am.”

Atsumu unwrapped one arm from around your waist and lifted the flower up.

“I kinda pulled ya into it before, but… these are still yer favorite, right?” He asked, holding out a small, single flower that you’d always adored. You smiled lightly as you took it from his fingers, nearly flushing when your fingers brushed against his own as you grabbed the flower.

“You remembered?”

“Of course I did. I was a shitty boyfriend, but… there’s a few things that really clicked, and I think about ya every time that I pass by one of these.” He said, looking at the flower as well. “Ya know… I should get going.” He said quietly, missing the way your eyebrows furrowed up into a hurt expression at his words. “I’ll get outta yer hair,” he said, but you were quick to grasp tighter onto his shirt.

“No, don’t go—” You said quickly, but he only shook his head.

“I know that I’m here and Omi said a lot of things, but I’ve done enough.” He said, sliding his arm away from you and making you tear up faster than you had in years as he refused to look at you again. “I’m gonna leave you alone for good this time, (y/n).” He said, though it made his chest ache to think about never seeing you again. “I really did hear ya when ya said you were done.” He turned around and reached for the door, but you were trying to think of a way to keep him around.

“Atsumu, please— don’t go!” You begged, but the man only ignored you as he pulled open the door and took a step towards the stairs. You wondered if this was how he had felt three weeks ago after trying so hard to be better for you, only to have you dump him the minute he got better. “Atsumu, please— I love you.” You said, though your voice had pathetically cracked and a tear was quick to slide down your cheek, making you feel pathetic, but it made the man stop. “I love you and I don’t want you to go.” You said, voice trembling as you spoke.

He peeked back at you, clenching his jaw and looking at you with a mixture of a look of hope and hurt written all over his face.

“Please don’t say that again if ya don’t really mean it.” He whispered in a hurt tone that only made another tear slide down your cheek as you held the flower in your hands and looked pathetically at him.

“Please, Atsumu— don’t leave.” You begged quietly. “I don’t want you to go, I want you to stay. I never wanted you to leave, but I thought… I thought that you being better was going to get bad again and I was scared of falling back in love with you only for you to leave and break my heart again.” He looked hurt but knew it was the truth as he nodded.

“I never wanted to hurt ya. I’m sorry that I ever did. I really do love ya, too. I just… I didn’t know how. Once I knew how, I’m sorry that it was too late.” You shook your head and sniffled.

“You have no idea, Atsumu— I’ve missed you so much. I was just… I was scared.”

“Did ya… did ya mean it…?” You nodded without hesitation, knowing what he meant even if he didn’t say it.

“I don’t want you to leave.” You said again, watching as the man turned to face you a little bit more. “I love you, Atsumu. I don’t want you to go— please don’t go.” Atsumu moved, letting the door fall shut and walking the small distance to you. He pulled you close, wrapping his arms tightly around you while you wrapped your arms back around his torso and buried your face against his chest. You were trying to be careful with the flower, but as Atsumu lifted you up into his arms, it wasn’t as important in your mind as wrapping your legs around the man and holding tightly onto him was.

Things were silent between the two of you for a moment before Atsumu gave a shaky breath against your shoulder and tightened his arms around you as if he couldn’t quite believe that he was really holding you in his arms again.

You pulled back, watching the man as he moved away to look at you as you cupped his face in your hand. Before you even had the chance to lean in, Atsumu’s lips slightly puckered, though a flush on his cheeks followed quickly. Before, when the two of you were dating, you’d always kissed him after you held his face like this. It was purely instinctual now for the man to pucker his lips despite not kissing you or anyone else for three weeks now.

Despite his initial embarrassment, you didn’t leave him hanging. You didn’t pull back or scold him; but instead, before he even had time to say anything, you pushed your lips against his.

A huff of air came from his nose in shock, but he didn’t leave you kissing his lips with no reaction for long. After a quick second, he kissed you back quickly. Atsumu brought a hand up to your head, cradling it and keeping you close as he put more pressure into the kiss. It was almost desperate as he stepped forward and pressed you back against the wall by the first door on the floor that didn’t belong to you, but neither of you cared much about that.

Atsumu’s tongue wormed into your mouth, though you quickly turned your head and welcomed his tongue into your mouth as you grabbed onto his shoulder and thought less about the flower stem softening in your hand. He wrapped his tongue around yours, though after a second he pulled back, panting and pressing his forehead against yours. You were catching your breath with him while he held onto your hair, keeping your eyes closed and holding onto the man.

After a second of silence, Atsumu suddenly spoke up in a soft whisper.

“So… can I stay around…?”

“I don’t ever want you to leave again.”

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu x female reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x reader fluff #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x reader angst #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu atsumu miya #atsumu miya #atsumu miya x female reader #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu miya x reader fluff #atsumu miya x reader angst #atsumu miya fluff #atsumu miya angst #atsumu miya imagines

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jakesimfromstatefarm · 4 years ago

Text

how to fake date your best friend | jake sim

✰ summary: the rules were simple -

pretend to be the boyfriend of you, his best friend who wants the attention of their crush, for a week and a week only

no kissing (bc gross cooties amirite) allowed, unless needed in times of desperate measure

and no matter what, absolutely, most definitely, do not fall in love.

simple, right?

well apparently not. because news flash––jake's already broken one of the rules.

and to give you a hint, it's neither rule 1 or 2.

✰ pairing: jake sim x y/n [ft. members of enha!]

✰ genre: fluff, comedy | fakingdating!au, highschool!au, bestfriend!au, friends to lovers

✰ warnings: cursing, high-schoolers doing dumb highschool things, underage drinking (pls don’t actually do any of this irl), jake being a certified simp, it’s LONG (i’m so sorry), cheesy kithes bc im a sucker for kithes ( ˘ ³˘)��

✰ wc: a whopping 9.5k

✰ a/n: it’s finally finished :’)))))) it ended up being much longer than i wanted but i had so much fun writing the characters that i got carried away lolol anywaysss i hope you guys enjoy it,,,i got a little unmotivated during the process bc i didn’t know if it was good or not but here it is heh (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡

Tuesday, December 8th

Jake Sim lives a simple life.

He likes to think he leads the normal, stereotypical life of a teenage boy. Has decent grades, plays soccer after school, skateboards around the neighborhood, has a best friend who he’s desperately in love with, and has a stable group of friends.

Okay, maybe not so simple, because this boy would physically launch himself to the moon and drill at its surface to collect moon dust for you if you asked him to––despite his deadly fear of combusting in outer space.

But that fear doesn’t even compare to his worst one yet: not having you in his life.

And so, he decided to just repress any and all feelings he’s had for you ever since he discovered them in middle school, when he realized he hated seeing you go to the eighth grade dance with a date––that wasn’t him.

He decided that he wasn’t going to risk losing a life-long friendship over some dumb, teenage boy feelings.

They were probably powered by his testosterone anyways. Yeah, that’s totally it.

He’s totally not in love with you.

So yes, he lives a pretty normal life. Every day is the same as the last, and tomorrow will be the same as today. But he likes it like that––he doesn’t want anything to change.

Especially not now, when he finds himself content with every aspect of his life (okay maybe except for his history grade, god, does he hate history).

So, it catches him off guard when you arrive at the group’s usual lunch table, located outside in your school’s courtyard, looking as excited as ever.

Jake’s the only one at the table so far. The remaining usually showed up late––Heeseung spends his first half of lunch tutoring freshmen for community service hours (but the poor boy has no idea what he’s doing), Sunghoon is probably stuck in line in the cafeteria again (he always forgets to pack his own lunch), and Jay is...well actually, no one ever knows where Jay comes from. He’s a special one.

It catches Jake even more off guard when you skip over any greeting a normal person would give, and start speaking at one hundred words per second.

And that catches us up to the present.

“Y-You want me to what?” Jake’s stuttering as you stare at him with your hopeful eyes from across the lunch table.

Despite the expression planted on your face, which screams your excitement for your “brilliant, amazing, genius, Einstein-could-never” idea (or whatever other words you used to describe it––Jake can’t exactly recall the specific terms you used, they all came out of your mouth too fast), you don’t respond to his question of bafflement. You continue to stare at him, awaiting his response. Jake could compare the look on your face right now to a puppy looking up at its owner, eagerly waiting for a treat. You know, tongue out and all.

He swallows the lump that’s lodged in this throat (is that the sandwich he’s having, or his nerves?) and continues to give you his look of confusion laced with a nervous smile because surely, you’re joking.

You grab what’s left of your sandwich from his hands and take your own bite. Somewhere in between you arriving at the table and now, Jake’s managed to steal the sandwich you brought today. You did make the best chicken sandwiches, in his defense.

“Well? It’s only for the week! And I promise you, after one week, if nothing happens––if he doesn’t make a move or anything––I’ll move on from him like you’ve been telling me to.” Your words are muffled from you savoring your sandwich, or what’s left of it anyways. (Mental note to self: don’t share your lunch with Jake ever again.)

When Jake still doesn’t respond (you’ve truly gotten this poor boy paralyzed), you find it as a sign to continue.

“I think it’s the perfect plan. Plus, if it doesn’t work out, it’ll be like the universe is telling me to finally move on, right?”

Wrong.

Jake has been encouraging you to move on from your crush because well, if we’re being honest here, he selfishly wants you to himself. Even if it wasn’t romantically.

Preferably, he would kill to get to be the one who holds your hand in the hall, call you cheesy pet names, post disgustingly cute couple pics for the ‘gram––but for the sake of potentially ruining his relationship with you, he’ll just have to settle with the role of being your best friend.

(And he’s totally fine with that! Totally. Yup.)

But he didn’t think that you moving on would only be a mere possible outcome (that may not even happen!) from whatever this stunt is you wanna pull.

Said stunt: Pretend to date one another and hope it catches the eye of a certain someone you have your eye on: Park Sunghoon.

Ah yes, Park Sunghoon. The previously mentioned one who’s probably still in line waiting to get his lunch as we speak.

Park Sunghoon, the tall, kind, intelligent, charming young boy that everyone knows. And if anyone didn’t know him, they most definitely knew of him. He wasn’t hard to miss in the halls; everything about him just radiates perfection.

If you plucked a random high-schooler from the halls of this school and interviewed them on the Park Sunghoon, they’d say you’d be lucky enough if the quiet boy so much as sparked a conversation with you, even if it was about what last night’s chemistry homework was.

Well if that were true, then you and the rest of the boys would be considered lottery winners.

How that happened, how the four of you dysfunctional beings earned his friendship, the world may never know. However, Jake is fully convinced that this was the universe’s way of playing a cruel joke on him.

For as long as Jake could remember, it’s always been just the two of you. You and Jake. Jake and you. (With the exception of Heeseung and Jay, of course, who came along in middle school)

In fact, your earliest memory of Jake was when he peed his pants in the kindergarten during nap time. You would know, you had the privilege of sharing a sleeping mat with him that one fateful day and in result...let’s just say the smell didn’t wear off from your clothes until a week later. Five-year-old you didn’t forgive five-year-old Jake for the longest time.

And since then, you’ve been attached by the hip. And Jake liked it like that. Jake didn’t need anyone else in his life (with the exception of Leila) if he had you. He had found his home within you, and he didn’t plan on sharing his space anytime soon.

Nevertheless, the universe had a completely different idea for the two of you.

Sunghoon came into the picture last year, towards the end of the school year. Despite being the new kid, he found his way into your cherished friend group and naturally, the five of you grew as close as friends could be.

That was the problem. Jake wanted to hate Sunghoon, to despise him for being the one that you had heart eyes for, but he couldn’t.

Not only was Sunghoon one of Jake’s closest friends, but he didn’t want to ruin the dynamic of the friend group. After you, the three chaotic boys were the next most important people in Jake’s life.

And so, we have the typical love triangle plot that every coming-of-age movie follows. Of course, this is all unbeknownst to you––you may be intelligent and a people-person, but oh boy can you not see the heart eyes your very own best friend has for you.

“It’ll be easier than you think, really! Look, we can even set boundaries or rules or whatever,” you propose, as if you’re trying to get him to sign a contract.

Rules to a fake relationship? We’re not living in a Netflix romcom, are we?

“Okay rule number 1: it’ll only be for a week and a week only, rule number 2: we don’t have to do anything too couple-ly like...” you pause to wonder for a second.

“Like PDA or anything! You know, unless we really need to convince him,” you casually add. When he responds with radio silence and stares at you with absolute concern painted all over his face, you cough. “Jake, I’m joking.”

Right. Of course. Obviously.

“And of course, just try not to fall in love with me, it’ll be hard, I know,” you send a playful wink his way.

Too late. Turns out it’s not that hard. Jake would know.

Jake continues to stare at you in hesitation. Yeah, you’ve had your fair share of crazy ideas (that Jake always find himself agreeing to––the poor boy just can’t seem to say no to you), but fake dating you?

Jake is sure he wouldn’t be able to pull it off without slowly destroying himself. He’d just have to say no, he’s sure you can find someone else to do it for you.

Yes, that’s it, just say no.

Jake has to keep some of his pride in tact.

Jake does not say no.

He doesn’t know what went wrong. His mind said one thing, but his words said another.

To be fair, Jake’s actions have always been influenced by his heart, not his brain, anyways. And when it comes to you, you bet it’ll be coming from his heart.

So here he was now, under the stare of three equally shocked and confused guys across from you and him at the lunch table, your fingers intertwined with his.

Just a few seconds ago, you had spotted the rest of the lunch bunch approaching the table, and you quickly grabbed Jake’s hand and scooted in closer to him.

Now here you were, explaining to your friends of your sudden relationship.

Jake is too zoned out to even physically pick up your explanation. Something along the lines of "we’ve been dating for a while but didn’t want to tell you guys yet." From the feeling of your hand clutched tightly into his and your body right up next to him, his mind was short-circuiting.

How is he supposed to last an entire week of this if he couldn't handle innocent hand holding? Hand holding? God, what are we, back in the fifth grade?

Two minutes into this scheme and Jake's mind has already downgraded itself to a fifth grader's.

Jake mentally scolds himself for giving in, this was not a good idea.

It takes Jake approximately 12 hours to conclude that this stunt of yours may, actually, be a good idea. He knows this because approximately 12 hours after the events surrounding lunch, he receives a text from you:

y/n [12:03AM]: thanks again for doing this for me jake

y/n [12:03AM]: ur actually the best

y/n [12:04AM]: ew ok that was cheesy but really i owe u a big one <333

Following your thread of texts is a really close up photo of you widely smiling into the camera. A smile so big, Jake’s convinced your face was probably in pain after taking that picture.

Anyone else might’ve thought the photo looked borderline insane but because Jake’s Jake, aka a simpᵗᵐ for you, he comes to the conclusion that it’s singlehandedly the cutest thing he’s ever seen in the entire world.

After quickly saving the selfie into his phone, Jake tells himself that maybe this won’t be a bad thing after all. I mean, anything that makes you smile like that meant it has to be a good idea, right?

Spoken like a true simp.

Plus, dating you––fake dating you––is pretty much the same as it was before. He already spends most of his days with you to begin with. Now, it’s just with added displays of affection. For show, obviously. Obviously.

And look, if Jake will never get to actually be with you, then he’ll take what he can get. And if that meant fake dating you, well, he reasons that it’s better than nothing at all.

Wednesday, December 9th

Jake’s playing with the rings on your right hand and you’re in the middle of dramatically telling the lunch table about the infuriating Karen you had to deal with at work the other day when Jay comes up with a grin you all know a little too well.

“Okay that grin means one of two things: you finally grew the balls to ask out that poor girl you’ve been teasing all year or you have something planned that we won’t like,” you interrupt your story when you catch Jay’s sly expression, evoking a chuckle from Jake, who’s now found a new distraction with the bracelets perches on your wrist.

“Excuse you, I’ll have you know that I did ask her out. It just so happens that she’s currently ‘in between boyfriends’ whatever that means. Ouch, by the way,” Jay feigns hurt from your comment by clutching the area above his heart through his shirt. Ever the drama queen. “But yes, I do have something planned. And no, it’s not a bad idea.”

Jay squeezes his way in between Sunghoon and Heeseung from across you and begins to pull out his own lunch. Everyone’s eyes follow him as he settles in because as bad as his unknown idea may be, you’re all still curious on what this boy has to say.

“Well are you going to elaborate or...” Heeseung speaks up for everyone after you all mentally debate one another through darting eyes on who’s going to have to bite Jay’s silent bait.

Jay then forcefully sets both hands on his table, which elicits a little jump from you as you go for a bite of your sandwich. Adorable, Jake tells himself.

“My parents are out of town this weekend. We all know what that means...”

Yes. We do know what that means. The four of you have seen this scenario play out many times, a little too many times for your own good.

This meant one of Jay’s infamous house parties that he always throws whenever his parents go out of town. And because his parents are hot-shot CEOs of an important company whose name you don’t remember (it’s nothing personal, your brain can only handle so much information and this physics exam you were studying for took up 90% of your brain capacity at the moment), they’re out of town often.

And along with Jay’s parties comes chaos. Lots of it. And that’s because...well, it’s safe to say that despite the many school-wide presentations the police officers of your school have held in the auditorium on why you shouldn’t drink underage, Jay’s parents’ liquor cabinet always seems to find itself missing many a few bottles after each party. But we don’t talk about that. Shush.

Almost simultaneously, everyone at the table lets out a groan, much to Jay’s disappointment.

“C’mon guys! It’s been a while since anything’s fun happened to this school, think of all the sad students in that building right now,” he extends a finger whole-ass arm and points at your school, “who are in dire need of fun and a little...” he punctuates his sentence with the hand motion of chugging down a drink, followed with a gulping sound elicited from his tongue clicking.

You roll your eyes along with everyone else. Don’t be like Jay, kids. Listen to those police officers.

“Jay, it’s midterm season! I have an exam on Monday and I definitely do not want to spend the nights before wasted,” you give him an apologetic look. As crazy as Jay is, you do feel bad nonetheless. The boy just wants to have fun.

Your response is followed up with similar comments from around the table.

“I’m helping y/n study”

“I have an important skating performance on Sunday”

“Uh...my hamster died?” (ok Heeseung panicked, don’t blame the guy)

Ignoring that last excuse of an excuse, Jay continues his debate nonetheless. “Just come for the sake of it! No one’s saying you have to get wasted. Pleaseeee for me?”

Jay throws these parties so often, you’re not sure why he’s so set on making sure you’re all going to be there. Well, I guess who wouldn’t want their closest friends to be at their own party?

That and, Jay needs to make sure his friends are there to stop him from doing anything stupid. We all know this boy has had enough embarrassing moments to last him a lifetime.

Everyone at the table gives each other the same hesitant look. Heeseung is the first to give in, “Oh fuck it. Sure, count me in.”

Jay’s fist pumping the air before turning to Sunghoon with the most hopeful eyes.

Sunghoon simply sighs in return. “Alright okay, I’ll bite. But if you vomit on my shoes again, I’m out the door.” Jay’s finger is automatically drawing a cross over his heart as a promise to not ruin Sunghoon’s Nikes again.

He then looks to you with puppy eyes.

You, who's already staring back at Jay with a stoic look in your eyes, are stubborn and (unlike the previous weaklings) are not as easy to convince. And somehow, this began an unannounced staring contest between the two of you, a contest to see who would budge first. This isn't an uncommon occurrence between you and Jay, but the rest of the boys are still on the edges of their seats watching this duel.

Jake casually wraps an arm around your shoulder and you’re brought in close, but still undeterred from your death-stare match with the boy across from you.

If it’s not obvious enough, Jake’s really gotten into his role of being your boyfriend, despite it only being 24 hours since he last froze at your touch. Character development, you’ll give him that.

You almost forget he’s faking it for a quick second. And for an even quicker second, you imagine he wasn’t faking it. And you swear you feel butterflies in your stomach at that thought.

Weird.

You mentally shake the thought out of your head. Priorities first, aka, beating Jay in this staring contest.

“Fuck,” you stutter when you finally blink, admitting defeat to a grinning Jay. “Okay, okay, I’ll THINK about it. I’ll let you know.”

Not exactly the answer Jay was looking for, but he’ll take it. Better than a no.

He turns to Jake next, knowing there’s no way Jake will turn down a party. Just like Jay, the boy loves himself a good party.

But–

But because Jake would take your physics exam this Monday for you if you asked, because Jake would bungee jump in the Grand Canyon without a safety net below him if you asked, because Jake would fake date you to make your crush jealous for you if you asked, he doesn’t hesitate in his answer this time around: “Same as y/n, I’ll let you know.”

Jay looks at Jake. Then back at you, who he’s still clinging onto like a koala to a tree. Then back at Jake. “You two are gross. Admittedly cute. But gross.”

You look up at the boy next to you to see him already grinning at you.

For the first time today, you find yourself agreeing with Jay.

Admittedly cute.

Thursday, December 10th

You are having a bad day.

You’re having the mother of bad days.

Not only is it midterm season, but you still have all your regular weekly assignments to finish before Friday hits. So as a natural-born procrastinator does, you stayed up all last night trying to get a good amount of work done because what’s better than cramming all your work the night before it’s due? Doing it two nights before it’s due.

Well apparently it wasn’t such a good idea. Because now, here you were, frantically throwing on whatever articles of clothing you find nearest to you because you slept through all your alarms.

You’re lucky enough to make it through your school’s doors right as the second bell rings, even if you did look like you just walked straight out of a zombie apocalypse.

You’re not so lucky when you find out your first class of the day, calculus, had a pop quiz. A pop quiz on the only unit you just happened to know absolutely nothing about.

To top things off, you forgot to pack your lunch during this morning’s frenzy, meaning you’re automatically stuck sharing with Jake.

And because his mother started making him pack his own food out of a lesson of responsibility (she said something along the lines of: “Jake, you’re about to be in college and you don’t know how to pack a decent meal”), he only has a plain PB&J sandwich and a pack of Scooby-Doo gummies in his bag today (because newsflash, he still doesn’t know how to pack a decent meal).

Not that you could care less at the moment, you were too preoccupied with catching up on your assignments to even eat. And if any of the boys noticed your zombie-like state during lunch, they did a good job of not mentioning it. They knew better than to bother an irritated y/n.

Somehow, you make it through the entire school day and your after-school meeting for environmental club (save the trees!) in one piece. As you finally walk out of the school building, you exhale, automatically feeling lighter. At least the hard part of your day was done.

Now you just had to wait for Jake to finish soccer practice, which usually ended around the same time as your club, and he can drive you home, where you can continue being irritated with your day in the privacy of your own space.

You wait on the steps of the school’s entrance, waiting for a smiley Jake to come around the corner as he usually does at 5:30pm every Thursdays.

Yes, a smiling Jake is exactly what you needed to make your day ten times better, you conclude.

As if on cue, you hear a ding from your phone.

Jake [5:30PM]: ugh coach is extending practice for “team bonding”

Jake [5:30PM]: idek what team bonding is

Jake [5:31PM]: you ok if i cant drive you today? ://

It’s as if the universe decided to use you as its punching bag today.

You physically let out a distorted groan, not caring if anyone who happened to hear you thought you were a creature from out of this world, as you send him a text back.

y/n [5:32PM]: it’s all good lol have fun with tEaM bOnDiNg

Things were not all good. But no matter how upset you may be, you weren’t going to project your negative vibes onto Jake’s naturally positive ones. So you get up from the stone steps and begin your dreaded walk back home.

It’s freezing out. You should��ve known better to just throw on a hoodie and call it a day when it’s the middle of December. But then again, you figured by now you’d be in the comfort and warmth of Jake’s car and presence...not walking home in these freezing temperatures.

You think about Jake and how he’s probably currently suffering from not only his team bonding exercises (but really though, what are team bonding exercises?), but doing them in this weather as well. The poor boy.

You’re quickly broken out of your thoughts by the sound of a car engine from behind you. When you don’t see it pass by you and instead hear it pull over and park next to the curb of the sidewalk you’re currently on, you automatically deduce that this is it, this is my time, I’m about to get kidnapped by whoever it is behind me but y/n, you should probably turn around and check first before you drive yourself insane in this inner dialogue.

You turn around and squint into the front window of the car. If it were a kidnapper, this is exactly what your mother told you not to do. Her exact words were: “Run, don’t look back, and scream bloody murder.”

Good thing it wasn’t. Just an innocent Sunghoon waving his hand at you, motioning you to get in.

“Sunghoon?” You approach his car and stop at the passenger side’s open window.

“y/n! It’s freezing out, I’ll drive you home c’mon,” he nods his head towards the passenger side door.

Well, how could you say no? Sunghoon owns a nice car. Like a nice car. Like car-seat-heaters-that-make-you-feel-like-you’re-physically-melting nice. Beats getting hypothermia outside, right?

“Why are you going home from school so late?” You ask as you settle into his car, instantly melting at the touch of the aforementioned heated seats.

“Debate club, actually. Decided I needed another personality trait other than ice skating,” he starts the engine and begins driving towards the direction of your neighborhood.

You laugh at his comment, you didn’t peg him as a debate kind of student. Quiet Sunghoon? Debate club? If 2 plus 2 is four...

“Hey, I don’t call you the Ice Prince for nothing! Also, don’t forget your other personality trait: forgetting your lunch every day.”

Sunghoon quickly glances over at you to send you a dirty look (because eyes on the road, kids!), which you return with a cheeky grin. “Need I remind you that was you today?”

“Touché,” you click your tongue.

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, the faint sound of Sunghoon's music in the background filling in the quietness.

You’re humming along until Sunghoon breaks the silence, “Did Jake get stuck at practice again?”

You don’t know why, but you swear you feel your heart beat faster at the mention of Jake’s name. No, that was always there right? Because you were with Sunghoon...your crush..obviously. Obviously.

Ignoring the feeling, you turn your attention towards the boy driving you.

“Oh yeah, something about team bonding. How’d you know?”

“Eh, I just figured since he wasn’t driving you home like he always does.” He turns into your neighborhood.

You nod at his answer.

“You two make a good couple.”

You whip your head at him. Did you hear him correctly?

“It was about time, really. You two have been ogling at one another for so long, Heeseung, Jay, and I almost placed bets on who would be the first to make a move.”

He keeps his eyes on the road, casually going on about how you and Jake make the cutest couple he’s ever seen.

You're frozen, unsure of what to think, let alone say.

You think to two days ago, when you started this entire fake relationship because of the very boy driving you home right now. The same boy who's complimenting you on your fake relationship. The same boy who's supposed to be jealous over that said relationship. The same boy you’re supposed to be crushing over.

But now...only a mere 48 hours later, you were finding yourself okay with the fact that he was happy for you. And for the life of you, you couldn’t remember why you liked Sunghoon in the first place. Not saying he isn’t one to be crushed on, I mean, look at the guy.

Maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with the fact that you didn't feel nervous or giddy or..anything at all when you got into the car with Sunghoon. At least, not until Jake's name was mentioned. That's when you felt the butterflies. At the mention of Jake.

Jake.

Weird.

But before you can come to a conclusion on why you're feeling the way you do, Sunghoon interrupts your thoughts.

"Well, we're here! Say hi to your parents for me," he pulls into your driveway as you're still collecting your thoughts.

You give him a quick thanks and one last wave as you enter the front doors of your house.

Seeing that your only solution towards confusing feelings meant distracting yourself, distract yourself you did.

Even if it meant distracting yourself with your piling assignments.

The next time you look up from your work, it's suddenly way past sundown and a heavy storm has taken over. You’re surprised it hasn’t started flooding yet with the amount of rainfall you were hearing.

You check the time on your phone, the bright 8:16PM on the screen illuminating your dimly lit room. Seeing that neither of your parents have yet to be home from work, it looks like you were going to have to settle with some instant ramen for dinner tonight.

As you trudge down the stairs of your home, the sound of light knocking against the front door catches your attention. It's been a long day y/n, you're probably hearing things, it's definitely just the rain.

Nope. There it is again, but much louder. Much more urgent.

You contemplate any and all potential disasters that could happen from answering the door. Only a crazy person would be willing to go out in this hurricane-like weather to be frantically knocking on your door.

And so, you assume it has to be some psychopath trying to get into your house. Yes, there’s definitely no other logical explanation.

You scramble around your living room, looking for the next best weapon to defend you. Resorting to the flower vase your mother keeps on the table next to the front door, you hold it out in front of you, as if you're waiting for the door to burst open.

The knocking continues, gradually getting louder. You mentally curse at yourself for dropping out of the taekwondo class your dad signed you up for when you were younger.

Vase in hand, you swing open the door and brace for–

"Jake? What the fuck? Get in here, you're gonna get sick!"

You’re suddenly aware of how stupid you look, holding a light pink vase with a couple of orchids as your only form of self-defense...for it to only be your own best friend. You immediately put it back on the table as Jake quickly rushes past you and into your humble abode.

You close the door behind you and turn to face the soaked boy.

“I come bearing gifts, also known as take-out and hot chocolate from that one cafe you love. Also my company, if you’ll take it. I had a feeling you weren’t having the best day today,” he’s simply standing there, holding up a large brown paper bag in one hand, and a deliciously smelling cup of hot chocolate in the other, but you’re looking at him as if he bought you the Moon.

You stare in awe at the angel of a boy in front of you, silently thanking the stars for gifting you this amazing human being as your best friend. You don’t know what you did to deserve him.

You give him a soft smile. “Jake, you didn’t have to. It’s practically a shitstorm out there,” you cock your head towards the window, showcasing the downpour of cats and dogs outside. Jake stays by the entrance as you go down the hall and through your house’s linen closet to find a spare towel for the drenched boy.

“Nah it’s no big deal, really. Just fulfilling my duties as your loyal boyfriend,” he grins, even though you can’t see him. He likes calling himself that. Your boyfriend.

Jake continues to shake his messy hair to get the excess rain off, giving a mental apology to whoever is going to have to mop up the puddle forming on the floor due to his unannounced visit. Probably you.

Jake hears you laugh down the hall. “You’re really invested in your role, huh? Keep this up and you might actually trick me into believing you’re my actual boyfriend.”

Actual boyfriend? Jake likes the sound of that. Maybe he will keep this up then.

Jake doesn’t have much experience in acting, unless you count that time he played the role of Town Villager #3 in the third grade play, so he never found it as one of his interests. But playing the role of your boyfriend was one he was willing to fulfill for the rest of life, even if it was just for show.

Jake doesn’t respond to your comment, he’s instead self-aware of his blushing cheeks, thankful that you’re too busy rummaging through your linen closet to take notice.

“Plus, you didn’t have lunch today and I had feeling you were going to be too caught up in your work to feed yourself anything other than instant ramen,” he sets down his gifts to you on your living room’s coffee table as you come around the corner, fresh towel and new set of clothes in hand.

His eyes fall on the familiar looking pair of sweatpants and hoodie resting on the palms of your hands.

Hm. A little too familiar.

Then, it clicks in his head.

His eyes narrow at you as you giggle at his reaction, “Oh, so it takes me getting drenched in the rain for you to finally return my clothes that I’ve been missing!?”

“Hey! I’m not returning them, simply loaning them out to a friend who’s in dire need. You basically gifted them to me the second you left them here months ago.”

“You’re annoying.”

“Love you too,” you toss the clothes at him and take a seat on the floor around your coffee table, prepping the table with the boxes of Chinese food Jake supplied.

After Jake changes into the stolen dry clothes, he takes a seat next to an already-eating you at the coffee table.

“You. are. my lord and savior Sim Jaeyun,” you’re saying with your mouth full of fried rice. You sigh from satisfaction and rest your head against Jake’s shoulder as you continue chewing. He grins as he helps himself to his own serving of fried rice and orange chicken.

You look up at him from your spot, “How was team bonding today?”

Jake groans in response, clearly annoyed. “Stupid. I don’t get how doing trust falls and pyramid building is going to get us any closer. If anything, I almost FELL off that pyramid today!”

You don’t know why, but you find yourself admiring him and his soft features as he continues to rant about one of his teammates, specifically, the one who almost dropped him.

The way his messy hair, unkept from the rain ruining it, almost covers his eyes (but you tell yourself you like it this way, it looks more natural on him), the way the corners of his lips are always perked upwards (even when he’s ranting), the way his eyes sparkle whenever he’s truly passionate about whatever he’s talking about, the way his eyes look at you like–

“Stare much? Look, I get you can’t resist my good looks but at least be subtle about it,” he smirks at you as he takes another spoon of rice.

You break out of his trance and scoff at him.

“You’re cute when you rant,” you nonchalantly say as you move from your spot to mirror his actions and add more rice to your plate as well. Jake’s stills at your sudden comment, unsure of how to respond. Lucky for him, you’re distracted by the mountain of food on your plate to even notice the blushing mess of a boy next to you.

“You know, you’re lucky you’re cute. Or else I’d deck you right here and now for ditching me after school today.”

Anddd there goes the moment. Leave it to you to follow up a compliment with a threat of violence.

Jake finds it cute anyways. He always finds you cute.

Jake narrows his eyes and lightly shoves you before an apology is written all over his face. “Sorry about that by the way. I feel awful about making you walk home when it was freezing out.”

“Nah, it’s okay. Sunghoon gave me a ride, actually. Did you know he does debate? I guess you learn something new everyday,” you ramble, unaware of the boy next to you getting tense at the sudden mention of the other’s name.

Up until now, Jake’s completely forgotten about Sunghoon's involvement in this entire scheme. In fact, the past 48 hours with you have felt so normal, so comfortable, he almost forgot about the deal in the first place. “You think he has any clue?” Jake suddenly asks, referring to the plan.

You immediately know what he’s referring to, as Jake practically worded out your very own thoughts.

You shrug. “Not a single one. We’re practically William and Kate in his eyes. But honestly, that’s the least of my worries right now. I’m too distracted by my exams right now to care.”

Jake feels guilty for being satisfied with your answer. He’s 100% sure that if convincing Sunghoon took you two an entire lifetime of fake dating, he’d be all too willing to do it.

“Go to Jay’s party with me tomorrow,” he abruptly says, catching your attention as your mouth is stuffed. Cute.

He pokes your cheek. “It’ll get your mind off of work and plus, what’s more convincing than showing up to a party with your amazing boyfriend?” he wiggles his eyebrows at you. Jake doesn’t know where he gets his sudden surge of confidence. But he does know he loves calling himself your boyfriend...even if it’s for the time being.

Rolling your eyes and swatting his poking fingers away from your face, you ponder on his suggestion.

“You mean my annoying boyfriend,” you stick your tongue out at him. Jake takes a mental picture and hopes it never leaves his mind.

“But I guess you could be right. Maybe I can clear my head for the night before I study my ass off all weekend.”

Friday, December 11th

The party does not clear your mind.

If anything, it gives you enough headaches to last you at least until the end of high-school.

You come to this revelation as you and Jake approach Jay’s home, a luxurious mansion sitting at the end of a cul-de-sac, lined with similarly luxurious palaces, located in an equally luxurious neighborhood.

You come to this revelation when you can already feel the pounding bass of music as you walk up Jay’s driveway.

You come to this revelation when, not even two seconds after entering Jay’s front doors––

“You’re here!” A buzzed Jay shouts at the two of you, causing the both of you to contemplate your past choices that brought you here today. Jay definitely isn’t straight up drunk yet, but Jake still makes a mental note to keep an eye on him tonight. Just in case.

The blonde-haired boy is quick to hand over two red solo cups of god knows what, to which you and Jake immediately put down on the nearest table after Jay walks away to greet the next incoming guests (you know, to not hurt his feelings).

You and Jake are lucky enough to have been around Jay and his parties long enough to know that going all out at these parties will not be pretty the next morning.

You cringe at the memory of last year, when you had to suffer from possibly the worst hangover of all hangovers after one of Jay’s parties. Jake will never let you forget how miserable you looked the next morning. His camera roll’s album titled “y/n blackmail pics” can vouch for that.

“Remind me again to never listen to you,” you almost have to shout at Jake over the thumping music. Jake laughs at your comment and tugs at your hand as he begins entering the house.

The two of you do your rounds of greetings to the people you know...and random underclassmen who you swear you have never seen before but somehow made it to this party. You’ve always questioned how Jay’s invite list worked. Maybe there isn’t one. That would explain how it looked like someone announced Jay was giving out free Teslas and the entire school got hold of the news.

“Thank god you guys are here,” you hear a voice come from behind the two of you as you guys leave the main room to enter the house’s smaller, but just as luxurious looking, den. You turn to see Heeseung with Sunghoon following closely behind, trying his best not to get swept away in the crowd of people.

The den is where you usually stayed during these parties. It’s not like there are rules of where people are allowed to party, by any means, but it’s like how a high-school’s cafeteria worked. There’s a mutual silent agreement of where everyone goes, and the den is where the party host and his friends went.

“Okay, is it just me, or is tonight’s party just a little...too..much?” Sunghoon asks as the four of you take your seats on the main couch of the room. Jake’s quick to make space for you next to him as you go to sit, but to his surprise, you find your home right on his lap.

“You said be convincing right?” you say into his ear as you settle yourself. Right. That’s totally why. Because you had to go along with the ruse. Obviously.

You shift a bit so you’re more facing sideways, not blocking off Jake’s line of vision as the boy himself is..well, calling him a rag doll might be excessive.

But he’s sure he looks like one right now, having lost all senses in his limbs, leaving him frozen underneath you.

Jake Sim is the epitome of politeness. He was raised in a family that taught him how to respectfully greet others, how to always offer food to others before eating it himself, how to properly treat a significant other. As a result, Jake grew up to be one of the sweetest, kindest, purest people to ever walk this earth.

(Relatively speaking, the earth is large, but so is Jake’s heart.)

But human-beings aren’t perfect, they must have a balance. A balance of pros and cons.

Sure, he can’t pack his own lunch and sometimes forgets to water the little succulent you gifted him that’s currently seated on his window sill. Sure, sometimes he’s too sweet for his own good, you know, like willing-to-be-your-fake-boyfriend too sweet. But aside from the minor details, Jake Sim doesn’t have many cons, no.

But he sure can be awkward.

And so because Jake Sim is sweet, kind, pure, and awkward, he is unsure of what to do with himself when you’re seated right on top of him.

As if you could read his befuddled mind, you take his arm that’s resting behind you to wrap around your waist as your support as you throw one of your arms around his shoulder. And throughout this entire adjustment, his widened eyes are staring right at you.

Bless this pure, pure boy.

Also bless the position you’re in, blocking the two other boys from directly seeing Jake’s face. Because if they were to catch glimpse of Jake’s expression right now, your cover might be blown, just like that. You’re lucky Heeseung and Sunghoon are distracted by another classmate who came up to them.

“Relax,” you sweetly laugh, cupping his chin with your free hand and lightly squeezing his cheeks. “You’re so adorably awkward.”

Jake pouts at you. “I am not awkward!”

“Right, and I’m totally dating you for real,” you playfully whisper at him, eliciting a poke at your waist in response.

Twenty minutes of people-watching-aka-“who do you think is gonna pass out first?”-from-your-spot-on-the-couch later, the four of you draw your attention to the rowdy party host you all have the honor of calling your friend––aka Jay––dancing (that is, if you call wildly swinging your limbs in all four directions dancing) in the middle of the den.

"Oh god, look at him," Sunghoon voices from besides you.

Heeseung's already filming the moment on his phone. Ah yes, technology. The best thing to ever happen to drunk teens' friends.

"He's so wasted," you throw your head back as you let out a laugh. “We should help the kid out.”

Poor Jay. He's not gonna hear the end of it after tonight.

"I don't know why he thinks these parties are such a good idea when he knows how trashed he's gonna be when he wakes up," Jake says, his hand naturally squeezing your waist as you giggle at his comment. "And how trashed the house will be."

Jay slumbers over to where the four of you are seated, and abruptly stops right in front of the couch.

"My best friends!" Jay happily cheers. “Having fun?”

“Watching you? Always,” you say to the boy who’s squeezing into a seat between you and Sunghoon, as if the small couch wasn’t already suffocating enough (and that’s with you on Jake’s lap).

“But for real though, you should probably lay off the drinks for now,” Heeseung insists. “For all our sakes.”

Sunghoon nods along and grabs the cup Jay’s currently nursing and sets it down where it’s out of Jay’s reach, much to his dismay. But the disappointment quickly leaves the dazed boy’s head, as his attention is now directed towards you and Jake.

“Well if it isn’t mom and dad,” Jay turns to face you and Jake, certainly amused by your seating arrangement.

“You know–” Jay points a finger at the two of you. “For a couple that’s certainly close, I haven’t seen you two kiss.”

Jake is immediately coughing, certainly not expecting that to come out of his friend’s mouth.

“Okay and your point is?” Jake frowns at Jay. If Jay wasn’t tipsy, Jake would’ve smacked the back of his head by now.

“I’m just saying...” the blonde responds, both hands up in the air as if Jake is accusing him of something, when in was, in fact, the opposite. “But nevermind, Jakey boy here is probably too innocent for such nonsense anyways.”

Yes, it’s confirmed. Once Jay sobers up tomorrow, Jake is driving over to his house (even though it’s a good ten minute drive from his own) just to smack him.

“What do you mean I’m too–”

Jake doesn’t finish his sentence. In fact, Jake doesn’t even remember what he was going to say.

Jake doesn’t think nor feel anything else other than your lips planted on his.

You’re pulling him in close, your hands cupping his face as his own are twitching on your waist, his mind flustered. You move your hands from his face to his neck, to which Jake immediately relaxes at.

Sure, you two are in the middle of a dumb high-school party, one filled with pounding music and shouting teenagers, but right now, in this moment, Jake can only feel you. And he doesn’t want the feeling to ever stop.

When you part, Jake’s eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips, his own parted in shock. He thinks he might pass out right here and now. He thinks his heart might explode right here and now. He thinks he might lov-

“Happy?” you turn to a satisfied Jay, ignoring the looks of amusement from Heesung and Sunghoon besides him.

“Well,” you pat Jake’s leg as you get up from your spot. “I’m gonna get us some drinks. Punch only, of course.”

Jake’s eyes are on you as you walk away, his face tinted pink from the adrenaline of it all, his heart racing.

Jake thinks back to three days ago, when he told himself that this idea of yours was going to be all fine. After all, it was only going to be for one week. Afterwards, he can move on with his life as if nothing happened.

But fast forward 72 hours later, 72 hours after you and Jake started this act, 72 hours after Jake told himself it’ll be all fine, Jake knows he was poorly mistaken.

Because 72 hours later, in the middle of a party that reeked of the combined smell of alcohol and sweat, Jake knows one thing and one thing for sure.

He never wants to move on from the feeling of being with you. He never wants to move on from this.

From you.

He’s screwed.

Saturday, December 12th

When Jake wakes up, much later than he intended to, on Saturday morning, the first sensation he feels are his tingling lips, still in disbelief that they graced your own last night.

The second sensation being his pounding mind––it’s running through ten million thoughts at a time, telling him no last night wasn’t a dream.

Third: his heart beating so fast at the thought of you, he thinks he might beat out of his chest.

And fourth, a buzzing noise.

Jake blindly flounders his arm to the table beside him in hopes of finding the origin of the annoying sound, aka, his phone.

After knocking down multiple miscellaneous items on his nightstand (he makes a mental note to clean his room later), he successfully retrieves the item of search.

Jake squints at the bright screen, mind still cloudy from a mix of 1) being half-asleep, and 2) still processing what happened the night before.

y/n [11:10AM]: r u awake yet?

y/n [11:22AM]: imma take that as a no

y/n [11:35AM]: lemme know when ur up

jake [11:44AM]: just woke up sorry

jake [11:44AM]: are you okay? what’s up

y/n [11:45AM]: r u busy?

y/n [11:45AM]: kinda wanted to talk abt smth

jake [11:45AM]: uh well no im still in bed lmao

y/n [11:46AM]: cool im outside your door

Jake’s eyes widen as he processes your last few texts.

Talk? Outside his door?

Jake’s heart is nervously pounding as jumps out of bed and quickly puts on the first plaid flannel he finds. He scrambles to his mirror and gives his reflection a quick run-down.

He’s sporting your his favorite hoodie underneath the flannel that’s long overdue a wash and his tousled hair has seen better days, but he couldn't care less.

Before his mind can catch up to his actions, he’s rushing down the stairs, skipping two at a time and to this front door. Because he didn’t want to keep you waiting? Because he was too excited to see you? Maybe a mix of both. Definitely more of the latter, however.

He quickly runs a hand through his hair to try to fix it up as much as he can, to no avail, before opening the door to reveal you, sitting on the steps of his front porch.

“y/n,” he’s breathing heavily as you turn to greet him with your sweet smile he didn’t even realize he was missing. Is it possible to miss someone overnight? Jake concludes yes, it definitely is.

“Did you run down here or something?,” you question his out-of-breath state, a teasing tone laces the tip of your tongue.

“Or something,” Jake mutters as he closes the front door behind him to join you on the steps when you make no sign of moving. “Have you been out here all morning?”

“Not allll morning. I had a feeling you’d sleep in so I came around the time I first texted you. Would’ve knocked but didn’t wanna bother your family,” you hum, keeping your eyes trained on the peaceful scenery around you.

You’ve always loved Jake’s neighborhood, it brought you a sense of peace, a sense of home.

Or was that because it reminded you of Jake?

“You could never be a bother,” he quickly rebuttals as he takes his seat next to you on the steps.

You respond with a soft smile before turning your attention back to anything other than the boy next to you. Your mind seems to be lost in its own thoughts, Jake can tell by the distant look in your eyes.

The sound of birds chirping in the distance fills the silence that falls between the two of you.

Any other day, Jake would love this. He savors every second he’s with you, even if it’s just pure silence.

But this silence was different. It wasn’t the usual comforting, warm silence that the two of you share on a typical day. This one held tension, tension so thick that Jake doesn’t know where to begin thinking.

But here’s the thing. Jake doesn’t think.

Not when it comes to you.

He takes a deep breath. Rubs his hands together. Pats them on his lap. Turns towards you.

“Look, I-”

“I think I might like you.” The words come out of your mouth so fast, Jake’s positive he heard you wrong the first time around.

He whips his head to meet your eyes, your own already staring back at him, your bottom lip nervously tucked under your teeth.

“No, I––I do. I know I do. I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you and I don’t think I’m doing a very good job right now,” the words are all of the sudden tumbling out of your mouth as if your brain flipped a switch and isn’t able to turn it off. “In hindsight, I should’ve known better to fake date my own best friend. But these past few days made me realize how much I love being with you. And not like how I’m always with you 24/7 before this entire thing started, but being with you. I even started getting that weird, bubbly feeling in my stomach every time I so much as heard your name. And then last night at the party, I realized afterwards that I wouldn’t have kissed you if some part of me didn’t see you in that way. Even if it meant Jay would’ve been on our asses all night if I didn’t. So yeah.”

You finish with a deep breath and look up at him to meet his widened eyes. Silence.

Jake thought he was braindead during last week’s history quiz. Jake thought he was braindead when he had to cram a semester’s worth of chemistry content the night before his exam. Heck, Jake thought he was braindead when you first told him about your idea of a fake dating him. But no, this is braindead.

He’s finally hearing what he’s been dreaming of for so long, and of all times, now his brain decides to shut off.

“Are you..uh..are you gonna say anything?” You’re nervously fumbling with your hands, desperate to distract yourself with anything else apart from his silent stare.

"Why are you sorry?" Jake says before his mind can think of anything else. He doesn't pay attention to his thumping heart that's one look-from-you away from exploding right then and there. "You didn't do anything wrong. If anything, you took the words right out of my mouth.”

Now you're staring at him with the wide eyes, the words processing in your mind.

Jake realizes he's waited too long to do this. A few years too long. He also realizes he shouldn't have put on that extra layer of a flannel. The nervous tension created by the two of you was suffocating enough, and being outside under the bright sun didn’t help.

"I like you too. God y/n, I like you too so much," Jake doesn't even care if his words are all sorts of messed up right now. He just needs you to get the idea. "I have for a while now.”

You let out a relieved sigh, ecstasy rushing through your blood. “Really? I think I have for a while too. I’m so stupid, it took me so long to realize it. It didn’t hit me until I realized how I felt around you, compared to the guy I’m supposed to actually have a crush on.”

Jake lets out a laugh, the tension immediately dissolving. “Hey, if it wasn’t for Sunghoon, I don’t think we’d be here right now.”

“You’re right, I’m too oblivious and you’re too awkward to actually make a move,” you wink at him. If his heart wasn’t fluttering at the sight of you, on his porch on a Saturday morning, confessing your feelings to him, Jake probably would’ve lightly shoved you away.

Instead, he’s turning to you with the most endeared look on his face, and you’re blushing underneath his gaze.

“What? Stare much?” You giggle, quoting the boy himself as you shyly duck your head to avoid his stare.

Jake gently grabs your chin to tilt your face towards his, and before you can process what’s happening, he suddenly meets your lips with his own, closing the gap between you two.

Jake thinks if the ground underneath him right now decided to open up and swallow him whole, he’d die happily.

Jake smiles against you, feeling comfort in ways he’ll never be able to achieve without you.

Your hands instinctively find their way into his hair, as one of his rests below your ear, thumb softly caressing your cheek, the other pulling you in by the waist. He’s naturally leaning into you, gravitating towards your warmth, unable to stop the giddy feeling bubbling in his stomach.

He doesn’t think the feeling will ever go away.

When you pull away to catch your breath, you rest your head against the nook of his neck, basking in his presence as his arms both find their way around your waist. You sigh in pleasure.

“Remember at the beginning of all of this, when you told me ‘Just try not to fall in love with me?’” Jake gently says. Jake feels the slight nod you give against his shoulder as you hum in response.

Jake whispers two more words into your ear, filling you with happiness and warmth you know you won’t be able to find through anyone––or anything––else.

“Too late.”

✰ if you made it ‘til the end, ily :’)))))

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ludwigplayingthetrombone · 4 years ago

Text

[TW: blood and a small bit of gore during a flashback at the beginning]

Behold! Chapter 3 is here! this is one i added in to clarify how it fits into the mchanzo timeline! This first part takes place after chapter 5 of getting together comic.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

If you like, consider leaving a tip! or become a patron for early access and nsfw!

Genj: What is happening, Baptiste? Who is hurt? Bap: Hanzo’s in critical condition. McCree is also unconscious

Mei: Genji, we need your help with McCree. Don’t worry, he’s stable now. Dr. Ziegler wants us to monitor him until she stabilizes Hanzo. Echo: What happened, mei? Mei: ...Reaper attacked him. I held him off until hanzo could save us. McCree woke up, so we fled. McCree went back to help Hanzo while he insissted I go help evacuate the area. But.. I told snowball to watch out for him. Then...

“McCree said Hanzo was shot by Reaper. [genji’s uneven, desperate grunts/ breathing] Gabe: That’s enough, kid, he’s dead! He was dead 10 minutes ago

Gabe: They can’t hurt you anymore. Genj: He isnt HERE! What’s the POINT. He needs to die! I have to kill him! I JUST WANT HIM DEAD I just want him DEAD! I’ll only be satisfied when he’s dead, Reyes.

Bap: Genji

Bap: You zoned out, what’s on your mind? Genj: When I was in Blackwatch... I told reyes over and over that I wanted nothing more than for Hanzo to die painfully. Bap: That is... understandable given what you were going through. Genj: I am worried Reaper said... or this influenced him to... I wanted to bring that period up with Hanzo myself. Bap: You are not to blame.

Genj: I told McCree that, but i know he feels the same. Bap: You had no idea any of this would happen, Genji. Could you have predicted Overwatch would fall when Reyes killed Antonio? You think I knew my contribution to Talon would lead to suffering? There’s no way we could have known. The people who helped you out of a dark time now vowing to hunt you down... I dunno, just-. People having an intimate knowledge of you when you were so vulnerable is... terrifying.

Bap: That is more on his character than anything. And a betrayal of your trust in him. Hanzo will understand. Genj: Thank-you for helping save my brother. Bap: You’re very welcome

Genj: When do we separate? He’s holding on?? I-um! I have to help plan a mission, so I have to go now. Bap: O-Oh sorry! Be safe. Genj: I’ll see you. I have to tell McCree too. bap: See you.

Genj: [I shouldn’t have chickened out... Maybe it could have lasted longer. I refuse to fall for another medic.] Mc- Oh sorry if i startled you! Bap: Are you showering? Water’s cold. Genj: No, I got a present for you on my mission! Bap: Oh?

Genj: Behold! Look how cute! Bap: You laugh, but i’ll wear it. Genj: What have i Done.... Got it!

Pharah: Go to bed. Bap: Genji... [genji snores] Jess: No,no,no, listen, far, we staked out the place for 48 hours and-.... [genji’s back cracks and he moans]

Genj: Oh!! Evening! I didn’t know you were back!

Bap: H-Hey! Flexing the ‘stache tonight? Genj: oH! I forgot, forgive me. I thought I was alone. Bap: It’s just your face, Genji, it’s ok. Genj: I know, but it’s scandalous! [bap chuckles] Bap: One moment, rock in my shoe... Genj: I don’t have that problem

Genj: You’re staring

Bap: I uh- It wasn’t... I- Genj: I was expecting a cool quip from you. I’m disappointed. Bap: You looked so contemplative and cool. Like you have something you want to say.

Genj: What makes someone a hero? Is someone a hero because they want to be one or because they have to be one?

Bap: Asking the hard questions tonight? Genj: I’ll admit I don’t know if I consider myself a hero... The media does, but... am i really? I’m not sure why i returned after the deal Overwatch forced my hand to take. Used then tossed aside. Did I want to save people or did I want to see my friends again?... I don’t think i’m a nice person.

Bap: Well.. why can’t it be both? Why is wanting to be with people you like such a selfish thing? Genj: I suppose. I don’t feel I deserve it. I grew up in a high place of privilege and notoriety. But now, I don’t feel apart of society at all anymore.

Genj: More like I’m stuck between different planes. I based so much of my identity on my status as an heir to the clan. Now that it’s bee stripped away from me... I don’t recognize what’s left. Looking at myself in a mirror, I don’t recognize myself.

Genj: I’ve been having these thoughts... Do my friends like me or do they pity me? Bap: Look at me. I neber knew the old you, and I think this you is a hero. So, if you don’t believe your old friends, then... How about believing me?

Bap: Your friendships are real. Your compassion is real. Your dumbass-edness is real. I assure you, you’re a unique, interesting man. I like this Genji.

Genj: You’re starting to sound like a comic book hero. Bap: Ah. I do don’t I? NO! [laughing] Genj: ouch, I need to cut my hair again.

Bap: [cough] It’s cold, I’m headed back.

genj: Yosh

Bap: Are uh- Are you headed to eat? Genj: yes. It’s Angela’s shift to cook, so prepare yourself. Bap: I’ve already taken imodium and ordered backup pizza [chuckle]

Oh no.

#gentiste #genji shimada #Jean-Baptiste Augustin #Overwatch #my art #//blood #//slight gore #//bare chest

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dannyphantom-justiceleauge · 3 years ago

Note

This may be a minor gripe but something that has kind of bothered me about discussions and depictions of Dan is how often people seem to forget that Dan isn't just an older evil Danny, he's a combination of Danny and Vlad's ghost sides. Like people always talk about him like Danny threw away his humanity and turned evil but that's not even true. Sure, we can say that Dan is the result of Danny's action but that's a little unfair. (1/2)

(2/2) Him cheating on a test, coincidentally putting his loved one's in a position where they could be killed, is absolutely not his fault. Letting Vlad take away his ghost powers with a strange contraption might not have been the smartest move, but we are talking about a grieving CHILD here, of course he isn't going to make the best decisions. If anything Vlad's the one to blame here, and even then, it's not like he could predict what happened

---

you aren't wrong, my friend. it really isn't entirely danny's fault and the whole 'if you cheat on a test, you'll loose everything you love' moral is confused at best. i think as fandom we find it more interesting to look at danny's potential evil and moral struggle with himself. so simplifying it to be dan is a worse case scenario of danny makes the conflict less abstract.

particularly because when it comes to self blame danny isn't going to go easy on himself just because it was excusable mistakes.

i think another talking point should be how danny is the target of the time assassination more than vlad is, even though vlad is part of the evil whole. you could argue that danny is the catalyst of his friends death and vlad inventing the claw things. but vlad invented the claw things. maybe because his human side survived and acted relatively harmless from then on? or maybe it's because the observants based on the available evidence recognized danny as more of a threat. i think that fits actually, for all vlad tried to be an evil mastermind, his achievements outside of terrorizing a teenager and theft isn't particularly impressive. danny was the one who got shit done. all his fights he finished one way or another and i could see how that would bleed into dan defeating everyone.

the real question is how to we fix this. ideally we could shape this idea so it's less confused, though i do honestly find the dynamic of half danny, half vlad interesting. if for not other reason. than two half ghosts make a whole. actually that's something else to be said about dan. his self-loathing is what led him to killing his human half, another negative aspect coming from danny.

i wonder if we could frame it like fusion, from su. obviously dan isn't stable or healthy, or based on love. he's most comparable to malichite. but with less internal debate. dan took the best and worst of both of them. danny's determination, danny's fighting ability, danny's anger, danny's sarcasm, vlad's anger, vlads lack of morals, vlads schemes, vlad's control. heck, vlads desire to rule the world. i don't think we ever got that from danny.

maybe if vlad was more involved in the fight with dan it could have been used as an opportunity to compare and contrast their characters. to go we're not so different you and i. danny gets to recognize that he has that dark potential. vlad gets to be humbled by the fact that what he wants isn't good for anyone, especially himself. and to be fair, we do see some of that humbling with future vlad, but none of that character growth is given to present vlad, so, really it's just another vehicle for danny angst. it also depends on what you want to do with vlad though. he's a fascinating character and could be given redemption under the right circumstances or be a character who has the opportunity for redemption but chooses not to be redeemed every time.

that fits him and makes him both a more pathetic and despicable villain. it's hard to pity someone who ignores the opportunities to heal and grow.

as for danny, he becomes far more aware of the consequences his actions, especially his selfish and cruel ones can have. because that potential was always there. he has a history of abusing his powers. perhaps for this specific incident him abusing his powers can be something less understandable than almost cheating on a test that he couldn't study for through no fault of his own. (maybe i just have flexible morals?). maybe it could be something more character relevant, like he did something particularly vlad like, maybe he set up a prank at the nasty burger to get dash but it set off the explosion that killed his family. or maybe he did something particularly cruel and manipulative. there are better catalysts than a test. either way he recognized that he should never go that far again and strive to avoid being actively cruel.

he also has the opportunity to recognize that vlad does have a human half, even the one he's fighting everyday. he can face some conflict in it's not entirely clear what trait belongs to vlad and what trait belongs to him. he can empathize with vlad and he can recognize that situations aren't always in black in white. those who fly the highest, fall the hardest, after all.

it can be a growing experience. and while making it solely a danny goes bad and learns not to do evil kind of story. maybe we could cut vlad from the equation and just have danny face himself, full evil refection. i think exploring both vlad and danny through this fusion is far more interesting. especially because we can build on what's revealed about vlad in these episodes, in later ones. danny sees a future where vlad chills and that maybe his vlad could get their. later he see vlads past and what he lost to become who he is.

and then there's vlads turning point episodes. i don't know when motherly instinct took place but maddie fully recognizing he's a bastard and rejection him, was a turning point for his sanity, and danny helped it along. then we have danny rejecting him repeatedly, then we the clone episode, which we can all agree was a desperate move on his part, that danny once again thwarted. and we can all agree that this was the cannon turning point for his character where he stopped fighting for a family and started trying to be danny's villain. in that episode, i think danny could potentially pity vlad enough to try and reach out. he's not going to justify what vlad did and he's not going to apologize for stopping him. he went too far. he hurt danny and dani, he crossed a moral line that can't be justified even with his desperation. but if he changes...

he lost this time but if he changes, maybe they'll reach the point where they're ready to accept him.

i think the same thing could be said about his relationship with jack and maddie. if he changes, if he reaches out. if acts like less of a crazy fruitloop, his friends would be there for him. jack is still trying to be there for him, even if he's being oblivious about vlad's faults. vlads the one driving wedges into his relationships and pushing everyone away.

and that's so freaking human and understandable.it would be such a cool thing to explore with his character.

i could also see a potential arc where after valerie finds out vlad and masters are the same person she tries to get close to him, both to sus out how evil he is and to understand him as a halfa. afterall danny got her to acknowledge dani as human enough, the same would apply to vlad/plasmius, right? only he's a bad person and the more she uncovers about vlad masters the man, the more she realizes it's not the ghost half that's evil. but this is a double edged sword because, vlad is getting attached to her and encouraging her to be more evil. he's encouraging her to go darker and darker in her fight against ghosts and her fight specifically against phantom. to the point where she finally draws the line and says, i'm not doing that! boom exploring the moral ambiguity of her character and getting her to take a hard stance on her morals, because there's a line too far for her.

and boom a further breakdown of vlads character because he finally had someone outside the fentons to redeem him. she could have helped pull him out of the hole he'd been digging himself into. she wanted to help him. he got attached to her, but he and his bad decisions decided to dig himself deeper instead. so once again he's 'abandoned and betrayed'.

from that point, i think it'd be time for him to finally face jack head on. not through manipulative schemes. not through veiled threats and insults. but the full confrontation of 'i always hated you. you ruined my life. you're the reason i lost everything'. which is really just his own self loathing speaking. and jack... empathetic jack can see that vlad desperately wants help. and jack would offer it to him. jack would try to hug it out and apologize and give vlad the love and friendship vlad's been fighting to steal this whole time.

and vlad would reject it.

he'd probably lash out a jack and go into a full breakdown/world destroying attack. could finally put the stolen crown to use and try declaring himself king and embracing his megalomaniac thing and actually be a threat this time. and THAT would be our series finally. everyone teaming up to fight 'king vlad'. danny probably finding out that he's technically king because he beat pariah dark but the matter being a bit confused because he had help. val and danny trying to find the ring of rage or at least find someone who can make one. secrets are out. i imagine vlad, upon revealing himself to jack would out danny to make danny as sad and alone as him. except nope, his family still loves him and val has had the character development to come around to him. (she's still gonna punch danny for lying for so long.) the ghosts will come and help because no one wants another tyrannical kind and vlads obviously off his rocker.

ah, the could have beens

anyway, i didn't mean for this to become a full vlad character analysis and rewrite when we were supposed to be talking about dan, but hey, i'm a simple creature. i like good writing, and i have to rewrite things myself, so be it. - Hestia

#dpjl #hestiawrites #danny phantom #vlad masters

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fiveisnumber1 · 3 years ago

Text

Timeless - Five Hargreeves x Reader

Main story parts:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32

Warnings: Click Here

_________________________

Pt 32 - Me, Lu, and Five Times Two

He's me?

Confused you looked over at the older gentleman, your eyes scanning him up and down trying to figure out what Five meant. Everything seemed typical for a middle-aged businessman but then you noticed it. The pair of familiar eyes looking back at you. You looked back up towards your boyfriend just to make sure you were seeing things right. After all that commotion at the commission, you were worried your brain might have been scrambled. But when you looked back over you realized you weren't going crazy because they matched.

"Five," you called softly

Commission Five felt his heart jump as you called his name. He had heard your voice in his head and the imaginary version of you said his name plenty of times before, but watching you say it alive and in front of him felt different. In a good way. A very good way. You tried to step out of the embrace you were sharing with your boyfriend but as you pulled back he pulled you in tighter. There was no way he was going to let this old, mess of a man take you away from him. Rolling your eyes, you used your powers to phase through his arms quickly so no one would notice. Turning around you made your way over to commission Five.

Although he had met your eyes before, he now looked down at the ground. How could he bring himself to look at you after the mistakes he had made in the past. You died because of his rash actions. Slowly, you stepped closer and closer to him.

Although you couldn't gauge his expression with his face down, you knew Five like the back of your hand and had a good idea of what was going through his mind. You weren't told much about your death but you knew enough about the events that occurred. One of those events being that Five witnessed it. It was and most likely would always be his biggest regret. When your boyfriend had first seen you again upon his return he was emotional and apologetic. Since this was him before the time jump you could only imagine that this version was feeling the same way. Maybe more so since he was seeing you again without any preparation. You felt for the guy. That was still your best friend there. Stepping forward toward the other version of your friend, you slowly opened your arms before gently wrapping them around him.

Commission Five stood there frozen, shocked by the realness of it all. As he started to process what was going on though he slowly wrapped his arms back around you, holding you tightly like his life depended on it. If he let go he worried you would disappear from him again.

Academy Five on the other hand could feel his blood boil in a way that he had never experienced before. Maybe it was the paradox psychosis getting to him? No, he wasn't experiencing psychosis at all. He was fine! It was more likely because of the scum of the earth with his grubby hands all over HIS girlfriend! His eyes narrowed on his commission version and if looks could kill his other self would've been six feet under by now. It truly was a miracle that he was still standing, but every second more that you hugged that washed-up walking failure, Academy Five became less and less stable. Unable to stand you hugging him one more second, Five stated,

"Alright, that's enough."

Pulling you from the hug, Five wrapped his arms tightly around your waist, your back pressed flush against him. The two Fived glared at each other with malice in their eyes. You could feel the tension building in the air and shot a look to Luther for some kind of help. These were two versions of your best friend, you didn't want to make either of them feel bad but your entire existence around these two was like walking a tight rope. Instead of helping Luther shot back a shrug and it was with that action that you knew you had to try and figure this out on your own. Taking on a sarcastic tone you comment to Academy Five,

"Y'know, I knew we would have to deal with jealousy at some point but I never thought it would start with yourself."

"Jealous? There's nothing to be jealous about with him." Academy Five remarked, his glare unwavering

"Don't flatter yourself you little jack-off." Commission Five retorted

Feeling the tension in the air grow, you broke out of your boyfriend's hold and stepped in between the two using your presence as a divider. If one thing was true about Five, it's that if you wanted something he would do it for you. Trying to ease the hostility you suggested,

"ALRIGHT! How about we just sit down and chat for a little bit?"

The Fives continued to glare at each other. Their silent intent to harm seemingly having no end. Trying to get them to quell their mutual antagonism was going to be more of a challenge than you thought. Reworking your original statement, you added,

"It would make ME happy if we sat down and chatted."

You could see the change in their facial expressions as they dealt with the conflict between being mad at the other and wanting to make you happy. Obviously, one was more important to them compared to the other and after a moment of silence the two of them let out identical huffs and simultaneously agree,

"Fine."

Luther happily goes to sit down trying to avoid being in the middle of the shit show that was brewing before him. You stand there as the two Fives stand-off, each waiting for the other to make the first move. They had to prove to you that they were the superior Five. Rolling your eyes, you gesture to the two seats across from each other that still had pints of beer in front of them.

"Let's SIT." You emphasized

Slowly, the two of them start to make their way towards their respective seats, eyes locked on each other to make sure the other didn't pull something. When they finally sit down you head over to join them but as you approach the empty seat your boyfriend jumps back up from his to pull the chair out for you. Caught off guard, you freeze in place before realizing what was going on. Slowly, you take your seat as Five pushes your chair in.

Academy Five shot a shit-eating grin towards his counterpart. He was the better of the two Fives and he was going to make that known to the other one and you. That bag of dust had nothing on him and he knew it. Commission Five on the other hand shot back a death glare. How dare that late-stage puberty sack have the idea to pull out your chair like a stupid little gentleman. You wait for Academy Five to make his way back to his seat and sit down before turning your attention towards him, to the dismay of Commission Five. Taking a breath, you put on a more serious tone as you ask your boyfriend,

"So...do you have any semblance of a plan to get out of this timeline, Five?"

Five's smug look drops as he finally realized that he wasn't actually expecting you to be here with him when he confronted himself. And now with his idea to use you as blackmail out the window any leverage he had over his counterpart was pretty much gone. Sure, he still had the main plan of getting the briefcase but that was about it at this point. With his lack of response, you leaned forward and questioned,

"Five?"

"Well...like I told you back at Elliott's, it's a Hail Mary." Five replied

"Which is?" You press

"I want to use the briefcase that Scummy the Commission Agent over here has since HE DOESN'T NEED IT." Five responds, annoyance evident in his voice

"Although a little rude in your delivery, that's a solid plan. What's the issue then?" You quest

"HIM! He's the issue. He doesn't want to give it to me!" Five exclaims

You turn your head towards Commission Five and see him scratching the back of his neck. He was starting to look ill in a similar fashion to your own boyfriend. You were concerned about his state of being but also about your ability to get out of the 60s. You needed to find out why he wouldn't help you out. Trying to be polite about the situation you question calmly,

"Five, why not? We're not supposed to be in this timeline, and that could help us get home."

"I can't trust him." Commission Five replies bluntly

You furrow your eyebrows at his response. He couldn't trust himself? Had he lost his mind?

"But he's you...?" You questioned confused

Commission Five knew that this might be confusing to you since you saw them as the same person. The problem was that they were two completely different people. One of those people, being him, who was better and the other version, worse. Taking your hand in his, he looked into your eyes and politely explained,

"That's exactly why mon chérie."

Almost on instinct Academy Five jumped up from his seat. His hands slamming onto the table as he leaned towards Commission Five's face. With a look of disgust plastered on his face, Five exclaimed,

"Don't you dare call her that!"

Turning his attention towards his counterpart Commission Five pulled his hand away from yours as he slowly rose from his seat. Placing his hands down on the table the two Fives mirrored each other as Commission Five angrily questioned,

"Oh? Why not?"

"Because that's my girlfriend, you geriatric cunt. Back off." Academy Five commanded

"How about you make me, you pubescent prick." Commission Five taunted back

"Both of you, sit down!" You demanded

As you spoke, you used your powers and quickly whipped the two of them down into their seats. Thank god everyone was too drunk to notice though because there would be a lot of explaining to do otherwise. You held the two of them firm in their seats as they both wriggled around for a bit trying to stand back up. When you could tell that the two of them had finally relented you let them go. As you looked at the both of them sternly, Commission Five looked back at you with awe. He had read about all the training you did in your journal but it was impressive to see it in action. Awestruck, Commission Five commented,

"Your powers have...gotten stronger since I was last with you."

"Yes, they have and if you two don't chill out I'll demonstrate how strong they've gotten by burning this place down with all of you trapped in it." You reply firmly

Luther looked towards you, his eyes wide with concern as he quietly pointed to himself as if to ask "me too?". Looking back at him, you thought about it for a moment before replying,

"Maybe. But definitely, the two of them if they don't calm down."

"Well, I would happily die if it was at your hand." Commission Five mentioned, still in awe of you

"Well, I'd die MORE happily!" Academy Five stated as he leaned in more towards his counterpart

The two of them leaned across the table as they glared at each other once more. Rolling your eyes you pulled them back into their seats with your powers and held them there again. You looked at the both of them as they seethed with rage, not letting up your grip even as they started to sit quietly. Sweat droplets built upon their faces and the air around the table was less than pleasant to smell. As much as you were annoyed, you were also concerned. They looked ill and the amount of anger they were outwardly expressing was unusual for them. You'd expect this amount of anger out of Luther or Diego, not Five. You were starting to feel that their proximity to each other in this one timeline probably was not the best. Maybe if you mentioned it to them you could get to the bottom of things.

"Both of you, shut it and listen. Now I'm not the prick who is," you explain looking at Commission Five before turning to your boyfriend "or was a time-traveling mercenary, but I have done copious amounts of time travel research because I thought I could somehow use my powers to get you back-"

"You tried to get me back?" They ask in unison, surprised at the statement

"Yeah of course I did you, dumbasses. What about the term best friend don't you understand?" You remarked

As both Fives were forced to sit there, they thought about what you said. They were always so focused on getting back to you that it never occurred to them that you might attempt to get them back as well. Like you had said, you two were best friends and with the evident fact that you loved him the same way he loved you, it was stupid not to think that you would do anything to get him back by your side. As they thought more they both started to realize that the evidence was always there in your journal. All the times you had mentioned reading quantum physics books, or writing theorems, or trying to figure out if you could open wormholes with your powers. Sure it was never written as a direct statement but all the clues were there to show you were working to get him back. If you weren't using your powers to forcibly keep them in their seats both of them would've hugged you at that moment. As you held them there you continued saying,

"But that's not the point. My point is that if I had to make an educated guess, I don't think it's good that you two are in such close proximity to each other."

Your boyfriend's eyes went wide with surprise and in an impressed tone he responded,

"Wow, I didn't even explain what paradox psychosis was to you and you already know it's bad."

"I'm sorry- paradox what?" You questioned

Confused, you looked between the two Fives for some type of explanation because the dumb look on Luther's face led you to believe he wasn't quite sure of what to do in this situation. You watch as your boyfriend opens his mouth to speak but before he can get any words out Commission Five jumps in and states,

"Paradox psychosis. I can't believe he wouldn't explain something so important to you mon chérie."

"Stop calling her that." Academy Five complained

Ignoring his complaint though, Commission Five kept his eyes on you as he continued with his explanation.

"Paradox psychosis is a series of seven symptoms that occur if you are too close to yourself in the same timeline. They include denial, itching, extreme thirst and urination, excessive gas, acute paranoia, uncontrolled perspiration, and, ultimately, homicidal rage."

Slowly, you nodded your head as you took in what paradox psychosis was. You silently watched them, your eyes darting back and forth between the two as you noticed the symptoms already occurring. The sweat on their faces, the scent in the air, not to mention the way both of them were itching the backs of their neck at the moment. Hell, you could've been mistaking paranoia for jealousy. Trying to confirm the situation at hand you commented,

"So what you're telling me is that you two are already suffering from this."

"I am not." Commission Five retorted

"Neither am I." Academy Five added

Denial. Great...

"Suuuure...it's totally unlikely that you two are on a collision course to try and kill each other," you remarked sarcastically

"From the looks of it, they'd probably kill each other even without the psychosis." Luther mumbles

Unfortunately, Luther mumbled his comment too loud. Upon hearing his remark the Fives pointed at each other as they simultaneously exclaimed,

"I'm not suffering from psychosis! He is!"

Worried by the new information on paradox psychosis and stressed due to the constant dissonance between the Fives you knew you could not continue going on with this in your current state. Standing up from the table you exclaim,

"Ugh! if you two are going to keep lying to yourselves then I need a drink."

Rummaging through your jacket pocket you try to look for some cash to buy a drink, but remember that you had changed out of your bloody clothes back at the commission. Realizing that you were out of money, you commented,

"Shit. I don't have any cash on me."

As you looked around for maybe some spare change on the floor to purchase a cheap beer with Commission Five pulled a bill out of his jacket pocket and extended it out towards you.

"Here's a twenty, get whatever you'd like." He said with a kind smile

"You realize this is a lot of money for this time period right?" You mention

"I know." Commission Five replied

"Alright..." You replied resigned

Taking the massive amount of money you head over to the bartender to get something to drink. The two Fives watch as you walk away but when you're finally out of earshot Commission Five turns back to the table with a smug look.

"Hm. Imagine not having money to give your own girlfriend." He commented sarcastically

"Fuck you and your blood money. I get steadiness from her and you don't." Academy Five retorted

"Steadiness? What the hell does that mean?" Commission Five questioned

"Oh, you wish you knew!" Academy Five exclaimed back

Luther looked around and saw that people were starting to stare. It was surprising they hadn't earlier but this was getting more awkward by the minute. Placing a hand on his shoulder, Luther tries to grab the attention of the younger-looking version of his brother. Leaning in towards him Luther stated in a hushed tone,

"Five, calm down you're making a scene."

"Luther. Can I talk to you in private?" Five demands

Before Luther could reply, Five grabbed him by his jacket, pulling him over towards the entrance of the bar where they stood before confronting his other self. Turning around the bar with a drink in hand you watched as your smaller, angry boyfriend pulled along his gigantic, dumb brother. You had no clue what was going on but with a shake of your head, you headed back to the table. As you sat back down in your seat you saw Commission Five looking off at the young version of himself. Trying to get his attention you called,

"Five?"

Quickly his attention turned towards you. It was nice sitting here with you without that loudmouth constantly complaining across the table. It just felt natural to sit with you even after all the years he was gone. Placing your drink on the table you slid the rest of the money over to him. With a smile, you said,

"Thank you for the drink, Five."

For the first time in a while, a genuine smile came to Five's face. After all the suffering he went through it started to feel worth it just to see you happy.

"No problem. You know I'd do anything for you." He replied

"I know you would. Which is why it doesn't make sense to me that you don't want to help get us back to the right time." You state gently

Even if they wouldn't acknowledge it, you knew both Fives were under the influence of their paradox psychosis, but the Five you knew was still in there somewhere. You had to figure out what was holding this version back from giving you the help you needed to get out of here. You looked towards him, waiting for an answer and Five looked back. Seeing the pleading look in your eyes, Commission Five knew that he had to say something. There was no way he couldn't. He didn't want to let you down. Lowering his voice, Commission Five leaned in as he explained,

"(Y/N), it's complicated. He wants me to jump to 2019 so he doesn't disappear and just let him have the briefcase. That's not a good plan for anyone, let alone you."

"Five, this plan is all we have. Even when factoring out the psychosis-" You start to comment

"Which I don't have," Commission Five interjects

"Which you apparently don't have," You continue "You're still being a little ridiculous."

"No, I'm not." He retorted

"You are! This plan probably benefits you more than anyone else. You get to go to 2019 just like you wanted, stop Vanya from blowing up the moon and be the hero who saved the earth from the apocalypse. On top of that, you also get to see a version of me that hasn't seen you since the day you left." You tried explaining to him "You get everything you wanted, so I don't understand the hesitation."

"I told you. I can't trust him." Five reiterates

"But why?" you pleaded "This is all we have."

"(Y/N), look at him. He's arrogant and thinks he knows best when he obviously doesn't. All he does is leave a path of death behind him with a path of destruction in front. He's just a pile of mistakes that only keeps growing."

Five paused his explanation and looked towards his teenaged counterpart. As he did so, you could see a glimpse of something in his eyes. Letting out a breath he continued,

"And he abandoned you in time. I don't get why you'd still want to be around him..."

You took a look towards your boyfriend as you processed Commission Five's words. There was something about them that felt off. Quietly, you sat for a moment as you tried to figure out what it was. And then it hit you. He wasn't talking about the Five across the room, he was talking about himself. He viewed himself that way. He couldn't trust your Five because he couldn't trust himself. Slowly, you turned back towards the older-looking Five, your expression saddened by your realization. Placing one of your hands on top of his, Five's attention turns back to you. With a sympathetic smile, you gently answer his question.

"Because I love him." You reply softly

"How? After all that he's done, how can you still say you love him?" Five questioned, his voice barely a whisper

"Because Five is more than his mistakes." You emphasized gripping his hand just a bit tighter when saying his name

Commission Five didn't know how to feel. The remorse that he had carried with him still lingered but there was also a hope that was building. Maybe there was a chance that you could love him despite everything he had done in his life. But even if he agreed to this plan that you were going along with there was one concern that he still had,

"I just don't want you to get thrown through time and have something go wrong again."

"Five I've lost my home, my friends, and my family twice. When I leave this timeline it will be the third time I've left a home, friends, and family behind. If we can get back to 2019 I can at least get my second home back. Won't you help me? Please?" You explained sadly

Five saw the sad look on your face and the pain that you tried to hide behind your eyes. You always tried to make the best of your situation, he knew so from your journal entries, but that didn't mean you were fine. With that look on your face practically begging for his assistance he couldn't say no to you but the concern was too great to say yes either. Giving a slight nod of his head he stated,

"I'll think about it."

You let out a sigh as you took your hand back from his to take another sip of your drink. The two of you sat in silence for a moment and all you could hope was that when it came time, he would change his mind. Across the bar, Luther stood with Academy Five. He looked at this manic version of him as he suffered from the staged of paradox psychosis. Trying to ease the situation Luther commented,

"Five. You need to calm down. I meant it when I say that you were making a scene. People are still staring now."

Five didn't hear a word his brother had just said though. The only sounds were that of the violent thoughts he had in his head and the angry beating of his heart. There was only one solution to make all of his anger go away. Worse-Five had to go. Looking up towards Luther, Five responded,

"Luther I want you to kill him."

"What?" Luther questioned confused

"All you have to do is use your big monkey man hands to crush his skull." Five explains

"Yeah, that's not what's going to happen here." Luther retorts

"You're right," Five states

"Thank you!" Luther replies

"We should take him out back so no one can see." Five adds as he looks for the best way to get Commission Five out of the building

"Five, I'm not going to kill him at all." Luther clarifies

"What? Why not?" Five questions angry and confused

"Because if I kill him, he doesn't jump to 2019 and then you disappear," Luther explains

Five stops for a moment to take in Luther's statement. It was true that he would disappear but he still really wanted that other version out of his sights and away from you. Taking on a more neutral tone, Five stubbornly replies,

"Perhaps."

"And then I have to deal with your angry girlfriend because I caused you to not exist. And if (Y/N) is upset then Diego is going to get upset and they will kill me. Not ATTEMPT, they will." Luther continues

"That is a strong possibility" Five remarks

"And then the rest of our siblings find out, and if I somehow make it out alive, they will also get mad that I technically killed you. So no, I will not be killing him." Luther finishes

Five paused as he considered what Luther had said. Although he was still very much against it, Luther was right. They still needed his other self so he would have to live...for now.

"Fine." Five huffed "I just don't like the way he's acting around my girlfriend."

Besides trying to keep Five from causing a scene there was something on Luther's mind that he wanted to talk about with him. Taking a deep breath, he looked off to the side as he mumbled,

"Yeah...speaking of that."

"You think he's awful too?" Five questioned, curious as to what his brother had to say

"Well-" Luther tried to speak

"Who am I kidding, of course you do! You can see how stubborn and stuck up he is." Five interjected

"Actually I wanted to bring up something about the way you're acting," Luther replied

This was about the paradox psychosis again wasn't it? Five knew for a fact that he wasn't suffering from it. This was all just some type of side effect related to how upset the other Five was making him. Pseudo-symptoms due to his anger and frustration really. Before Luther could go on any spiel about the psychosis that he wasn't experiencing Five stated firmly,

"I'm don't have paradox psychosis."

Luther knew that denial was one of the stages of psychosis and Five was most definitely experiencing it but for now, he would put that aside to try and get to his point.

"This isn't about psychosis. this is about (Y/N),"

"Is it because I didn't have money to get her a drink? I didn't feel right stealing money from Elliott's place but now I'm thinking I should've-" Five started to explain

"Five, no. that's not it." Luther cut off

"Then what is it?" Five asked

It was at this moment that Luther realized how under-prepared he was for this. He didn't expect to get this far and now he wasn't quite sure what to do. The emotionally constipated man was attempting to have a heart-to-heart with his young-ish brother about a topic that he didn't even know if he had the words for. As a leader though, it felt important to him to guide Five in the right direction, so he tried to piece the words together as he explained,

"Okay, well. Y'know. I've just noticed that uh- so you've been using this word steadiness a lot and I- uh- well...I feel like it might mean something else and...I just feel like we should maybe discuss-"

"Luther stop." Five commanded

Even with all the anger and stress that was occupying his mind at the moment, Five wasn't an idiot. He could see his brother flailing as he tried to have a conversation he knew nothing about. Trying to stop Luther from making a fool of himself Five explained,

"If you are implying that you feel the need to give me some type of ''talk'' because of my boyish appearance and relationship status I'm going to ask you to refrain."

"What why? I mean, that's uh- not what I was saying...kind of. But why?" Luther questioned confused

"Why?" Five asked almost surprised "Because you are the least qualified person on this planet to talk about this subject. I would rather ask Diego knowing full well it would become a physical altercation than talk to you about this."

"I don't understand," Luther replies

Five didn't know if his brother got dumber during his time in the 60s or if he was always this stupid but it was only showing now. Either way, it was slightly concerning how his walnut brain couldn't even comprehend why he wasn't the man for this job he was attempting. He needed to try and explain his point in the simplest of terms or else Luther was never going to grasp it.

"Luther, you have been in love with your sister your whole life! That already disqualifies you from speaking on any subject related to love or relationships" Five states "But more so your one and only ''experience'' was with a stranger when you were under the influence. So for the sake of everyone, refrain."

"Listen, I just wanted to help my brother." Luther remarks

"You want to help me? Keep whatever you wanted to say to yourself and stick to being a spotter."

Luther opened his mouth as if he was going to say something but shut it quickly after. Was he really that unqualified? As the two of them stood there silently you were also silently sipping on your drink, your conversation with Commission Five only over a few moments ago. As you continued to sip though, you could feel yourself getting a bit warm. Was it the heat or the alcohol? You didn't know, maybe it was a bit of both. Even in November, Dallas heat was still Dallas heat. Taking off your jacket you placed it on the back of your chair before placing your arms on the cool tabletop. As you placed your arms on the table, out of the corner of his eye Commission Five noticed something on your arm. Carefully, he reached his hand out and lightly brushed the red spot on your arm. Even the lightest touch though sent a shot of pain through your arm causing you to pull it back quickly. Your boyfriend, noticing this sudden action from across the room, quickly rushed back over with Luther following close behind.

"What did you do to her?" He demanded angrily

"Nothing!" Commission Five quickly replied, "You think I would hurt her?"

"I don't know. The word of a hitman doesn't seem reliable to me." Academy Five critiques

"But you were a hitman two weeks ago." Luther comments

"Irrelevant." Academy Five retorts

Ignoring the conflict between the two, you looked at the wound on your arm. It wasn't huge but even cauterized it still didn't look good. As your boyfriend kept his eyes trained on Commission Five you added,

"Five, he didn't do this."

This? Five turned his gaze away from himself and towards you. His eyes went wide as he finally noticed your injury. Sitting down in his seat he carefully grabs your hand and brings your arm closer to him. Gently, he ran his fingers over the wound causing you to wince slightly. His anger morphed into concern as he saw your pained reaction. Looking at the injury once more he recognized him exactly what it was. In a worried tone, Five said,

"Darling, this looks like it came from a gunshot."

Hearing those words Commission Five leaned in to get a better look at the injury. It didn't take long for him to agree that it came from a gun but he wouldn't agree out loud with the little twerp about that.

"It just grazed me, I'm fine." You quickly explained, "And anyway I cauterized it."

"So it is a gunshot wound." Commission Five commented

Your eyes went wide. In your haste to try and make everyone less worried by saying you were fine, you instead just admitted to being shot. In front of both Fives. Instead of saying any more you opted for silence and bit your tongue. Through that silence though the wheels started turning in the heads of the Fives. You watched as their eyes started to widen and the mix of concern and anger spread over their faces.

"How did this happen?" Commission Five asked frantically

"Who did this to you?!" Academy Five demanded

You weren't getting out of this, were you? This was not going to go over well. Taking a deep breath, you let it out before starting to explain,

"Well that's a funny story...you see when I went out to look for Charlie, I actually got drugged and kidnapped by Lila."

"You were kidnapped by Lila?!" Five exclaimed

"Yeah, I got taken to the Commission isn't that crazy?" You try to joke nervously

"You were taken to the Commission?" Commission Five questioned alarmed

"I was and I had the displeasure of meeting your boss, The Handler." You stated

"YOU MET THE HANDLER?!" Both Fives shout

You could see the negative look on both of their faces. Nobody wanted to be in the situation you were in now but if they were going to find out then you might as well be honest with the two of them. Letting go of your reservations to not draw their concern you explain,

"I did and she's really cocky, not as smart as she thinks she is, and is totally jealous of the fact that I'm dating you. Like she tried to insinuate that you and she slept together."

Disgust filled the expressions of both Fives. How dare that even be a thought in the handler's mind. Neither Five liked the Commission and even more so did they hate working under her. That woman was insane. Repulsed by even the thought of her statement to you, Commission Five quickly replied,

"What? Absolutely not."

"I would say unbelievable but that sounds just like something she would pull. And per usual she is 100% lying." Academy Five added annoyed

"Yeah, she seemed like a manipulative bitch, but I knew she was bullshitting it. I don't think she likes me very much though. I made her pretty mad and she threatened to kill me." You reply nonchalantly

"She threatened your life?" Commission Five questioned

"(Y/N), I swear if she so much as laid a hand on you-" Your boyfriend threatened

You didn't know what to tell him. Obviously, she had laid a hand on you when she grabbed your face but if you told him so you had no clue how he would react. With your silence, you had said all that Five needed to hear. In a low tone, he stated,

"Her time is running out. I'm going to make sure of it."

There was something about the look in his eyes when he said that, that made you go quiet for a moment. You had seen many different emotions cross it before but this was different. It wasn't quite anger, nor concern. No, it was...intent. This wasn't just a promise of her demise, it was a guarantee.

"Sorry to interrupt but you still haven't explained how you got that," Luther said, breaking the silence

"Oh right! So I escaped and then I blew up someplace called the tube room because it looked important and so they sent security to stop me. And I was surrounded, right? So I committed a massacre and killed all of them. Like I turned that white marble red. Total blood bath. Anyway, one of them wasn't fully dead so they shot at me and it grazed my arm, so I went back and I pulled out his beating heart. And now I'm here, with you guys!"

"I feel like there's a lot more missing from that statement and yet there is already so much to unpack," Luther comments openly

The table goes quiet for a moment. The two Fives look towards you before looking back at each other, and for the first time, you think they might actually be on the same page. Maybe even with their paradox psychosis, your story could bring them together. Your hope for that fades though when Commission Five accuses,

"This is all your fault. How could you let her get hurt?"

"My fault? You haven't broken your contract yet. You're still working for the group that hurt her!" Academy Five remarks

"I'm not the one who let her out of my sight so she could get kidnapped." Commission Five replies

"Well, you could've killed The Handler long before any of this happened." Academy Five retorted

"So could you!" Commission Five exclaims

Bar patrons looked over towards your table once more and with your tolerance level starting to go down again you decided it was time to wrap things up here. Slamming your drink back you place the finished cup upside down on the table before standing up. The two Fives cease their bickering for a moment to look up at you as you start to talk,

"I understand that we have a lot of feelings given the current situation. But this constant fighting in public is getting ridiculous."

"JFK is gonna be at that grassy knoll in an hour and I want to see history happen so I can brag to my friends when I get finally home. Because I will be getting home." You emphasized "Now, someone at this table is gonna make that happen for me. So if any of the idiots at this table have any desire to keep me happy then let's get a move on."

With your speech finished you turned away from the table and walked out the door. There was no need to deal with them much longer as you had more important things to deal with than whose fault it was that you got a boo-boo from a gun. You had been through worse. With you out of sight, the three guys were left at the table alone.

Without saying a word, Luther quickly stood up and walked away from the table as well. He knew better than to do anything to upset you. You had already been mad at him once and after hearing about your massacre at the commission he did not want to see what your full extend of anger was. With Luther gone, the two Fives were the only ones left at the table. Neither said anything but the animosity was still palpable and was only growing. Silently, the two of them got up from their seats and walked over to the door you had exited from not making eye contact with each other. Academy Five could feel his frustration brewing as he looked at the people around him. They were all judging him. If he could fight them all he would but there was no time. Looking around the Fives found you leaning against the wall outside the pub with Luther standing by, an uncomfortable smile on his face. Looking at the duo you questioned,

"You two idiots ready to go?"

Both Fives nodded. Standing up from the wall you made your way over to where they stood.

"Alright, I'm ready to see the president and then go home. Who's leading the way?" You ask

"He will." your boyfriend says shoving past Commission Five "I'll walk with you."

Five takes your hand in his, placing a gentle kiss on the top of it before bringing it back down to his side and holding it tightly. Turning back towards his older-looking self, He gave him a cocky smile as if trying to make him jealous of the two of you. and from the annoyed reaction on Commission Five's face, it was working. To rub salt even more into the wound Academy Five suggested mockingly,

"We better get a move on. Don't want to disappoint the lady now do we?"

Commission Five almost started to vibrate with anger at his words. That's it, this little shit wasn't making it out alive. He was a deformed mutant copy that needed to be eradicated. There was a chance you would be upset but in the end, he would be doing you a favor by removing this asshole from your life. Turning around, Commission Five started to walk away from the group with his two briefcases in hand. Calling behind him, he commanded,

"C'mon Luther."

Luther looked at you and Five before jogging a bit to catch up with the old man. Hands still interlocked the two of you started to follow behind, a bit of distance between you and the pair in front of you. You could feel the accumulation of sweat on your boyfriend's hand as you held it. It was honestly a bit gross how much sweat there was. You couldn't blame him for feeling the symptoms of something out of his control, but you wanted to get this plan over with. As the group walked onwards towards the grassy knoll you couldn't help but feel like you had forgotten something. It couldn't be something too important because then you would remember immediately but it still bothered you enough that you wanted to remember. As the four of you approached a staircase leading to a bridge, you finally recalled what you had forgotten. Your jacket. Remembering that you left it back at the pub you stopped in your tracks. Confused, Five turned to look at you.

"I forgot my jacket at the bar, I'm gonna go back to get it, alright?" You state "Try to stay calm and don't get into anything stupid with yourself while I'm gone."

"Don't worry I am completely sound of mind." Five responded as he frantically scratched himself

"I don't believe that." You reply monotonously and concerned "and I am now going to make this as fast as possible solely because that was your response."

Turning around you started making your way back to the bar as fast as you could. You knew that it was risky to leave the two Fives with each other given how incompetent Luther was about the situation but you hoped that they could at least stay calm for the few minutes you would be gone. Five watched you run away before turning around and following Luther and Commission Five up the step of the bridge. Up ahead Commission Five and Luther walked side by side, their voices low as they spoke on the plan they had formed in the bathroom of the bar.

"All right, just be cool till I finish the job on the grassy knoll. We'll get the time math and I'll ice the squirt." Commission Five explained

"I still don't think it's a good idea. (Y/N) will lose her shit and I'm really not feeling this plan after she admitted to committing a massacre and ripping someone's heart out you know? My self-preservation is kicking in." Luther comments concerned

"Listen, I told (Y/N) I'd think about the plan that the little shit presented. I thought about it, and I believe ours is better. He's too reckless for her." Commission Five elaborated

"Uh, okay...I just wish there was another way, you know?" Luther replies

"There isn't. Look at him." Commission Five suggests

As they continue to walk, the two look over their shoulders at the younger-looking version of Five. Irritable and constantly scratching himself, he yelled from afar.

"What are you looking at? See something funny?"

"Worst case of paradox psychosis I've ever seen." Commission Five commented with a shake of his head

Luther continued to stare at the version of his brother that had returned in 2019. Sure he was acting wild but was it really so bad that he deserved death? And what about you? He knew for sure that this was probably not your desired outcome for this scenario. Noticing the sad look on Luther's face, Commission Five questioned,

"What's wrong?"

"Well, I feel bad for him. And (Y/N)." Luther whispers

"Mind your business! Or I'll give you something to stare at." Academy Five shouts from behind the duo

"He's just a little guy. And she only got him back recently. I mean they've only been together for like a week and a half in total." Luther continues

"Everybody's a little guy to you. You look like King Kong and the Hitler Youth had a baby." Commission Five replies "And listen I understand your concerns but this is the best option. In the long run, everyone will be happier without him. (Y/N) included."

"You wish you could pull off these shorts!" Academy Five yelled

Luther looked back at the version of Five behind him. The more he saw that version going off the rails the more he believed in Commission Five's plan. And although he was becoming more and more convinced that this was the best solution something just felt off to him. Commission Five was Five and Five loved you but killing the version that you're dating? It still didn't feel right no matter how much he agreed with the rest of the plan. Unsure of things, Luther tried to get reassurance from Commission Five by questioning,

"I know I keep asking but are you sure? I really don't feel like this is the best plan for (Y/N)."

"Don't worry I am completely sound of mind. And right now I believe this is the best plan. I'm her best friend, I would know." Commission Five answers "Now Luther, I don't have time for you to tuck and squeeze here. Can I count on you to keep him under control?

"Yeah, I'll do my best, yeah," Luther responds

"All right." Commission Five replies

As they neared the end of the bridge Commission Five started to walk ahead while Luther waited behind for Academy Five. Putting on a nervous smile, he let out an awkward chuckle as he fiddled with the back of his jacket.

"Hey, brother. How you doing?" He asked tensely

Academy Five could see through his brother's facade. He wasn't here to be a spotter anymore, he was just taking the direction of the person who looked like they had the most authority. As they walked together down the stairs on the other side of the bridge Five comments,

"He's gonna kill me, isn't he?"

"What? What, him? He's gonna kill you? Yeah, right. That's ridiculous." Luther answers, his upbeat tone making his lies more evident

"You know, you're a terrible liar, Luther. You're a worse liar than you are a spotter." Five angrily whispered

"Okay, who's fault is that? What good is having a spotter if you won't even listen to him?" Luther remarked back

"So you admit you're conspiring against me?" Academy Five questioned

"Do you admit that you're suffering from paradox psychosis?" Luther retorts

"All I'm suffering from is bracing clarity about you and your murderous intentions." Five states firmly

"Look, it's not like he's gonna kill you kill you. He just wants to kill a, um...version of you." Luther tries to rationalize before walking away

Five couldn't believe that Luther was alright with killing him. He was the brother that came back. He was the one who was trying to keep everyone safe from the apocalypse he lived through. He's the one who has been trying to make sure everyone got home. Sure, Luther had proven himself over and over again to be prone to making poor decisions when confronted with a higher authority but could his pea brain not comprehend any complex thought on the situation? Was it really that difficult for him to expend energy on his critical thinking skills? Trying to catch up to Luther, Five loudly reminds,

"But I am that version of me!"

"Hey, I don't love it, either, but he's actually got a pretty good plan." Luther states

"What? The one where you guys off me and then jump to 2019 to save the world?" Five remarks sarcastically

"Yeah, wait, how did you know that?" Luther questioned confused

"Because I'm him, and that is exactly what I would do if I were trying to kill me!" Five explains

"Okay, all I know is we've got one Five too many, and you're the one acting like a maniac." Luther remarks

"Maniac? Luther, you have seen nothing." Five retorts angrily, jumping at his brother "If you want a maniac, I will show you maniac."

Luther retreated slightly away from the feral teen. Maybe, just maybe, Five was bluffing but the manic look in his eyes coupled with his erratic body movements amongst other things said otherwise. Luther could tell, that Five was not doing well. As Five walked away from him Luther followed quickly behind. Luther was done trying to rationalize with the teen. As he caught up to him Luther reprimanded,

"Okay, as your spotter, I think the best thing I can do for you right now is put you out of your misery."

Five scoffed in response. Luther was unbelievable. Turning around to face the giant man, Five grabbed him by the shoulders so the two of them faced each other.

"Okay, Luther, listen." Five starts to explain "I know your feeble mind only responds to age and authority, so listen very closely. Yet again, you are experiencing daddy issues, this time with your own brother, which honestly is making me a bit crazy. But remember this: I'm 14 days older than him. I have seniority here. So it is me you should be listening to, Luther."

Five pauses to look at Luther. He felt like he was going insane due to his brother's deep-rooted daddy issues. Feeling like he was going to burst Five exclaimed loudly,

"I'M THE DADDY HERE!"

Luther noticed as the people walking by stared at him as if he was the parent to an misbehaved child. With a forced laugh, he tried to ease the awkwardness of the situation. Looking around as the people passed he put on a smile and said,

"How's it going?"

With the bypassers starting to look away, Luther bent down and took Five by the shoulders. Forcing him to walk forward he quietly criticized,

"Five, please, you're being unseemly. Look at you."

"I admit there is a possibility that I may not be in my fully...right mind right now." Five admits

"Okay, good," Luther replies

"But whatever I've got, he's got it too." Five commented pointing towards the other one

"You two quit grab-assing. We're here." Commission Five called from in front of them

Slowly the two of them followed behind into some type of fenced-off parking lot. Standing from afar they watched as Commission Five placed down the two briefcases he was carrying. As he bends over the sound of gas being passed came from the direction he stood. Luther stood there shocked as he recalled,

"Flatulence. Stage four."

A smirk appeared on Academy Five's face. All this time Luther refused to believe that Commission Five was also suffering from paradox psychosis. He was the older and more rational one to Luther but now he was fully exposed as suffering from psychosis. The daddy issues really ran deep in him, didn't they? Clasping his hands together, Academy Five leaned forward towards Luther. With the cocky smirk still on his face, Five sarcastically questioned,

"See? What's your plan now, bucko?"

Luther did not have a plan anymore. Both Fives were suffering from psychosis and neither could be trusted to make rational decisions. Looking back at the smaller of the two confused, Luther once again hears flatulence this time coming from the Five in front of him. Looking back towards Luther, Five quickly denies,

"That was just lunch, all right? Shut up."

Five walked away from Luther, trying to prevent any oncoming psychosis accusations from him. Taking a look around the area he tried to spot you, hoping you were somewhere close by, but it was to no avail. Glancing over towards his Commission self, he thought about the plan that he and Luther came up with. Was that man truly so jealous that he felt murder was the only option? Or was it because he felt that Academy Five wasn't good enough for you? Either reason was plausible and both infuriated Academy Five beyond belief. He was not going to have you lose him ever again. That briefcase was his and you all were going to go home, ALIVE. Once again by his brother's side, he saw the briefcase in the distance unattended as Commission Five started to put his gun together. His blood boiled and his head started to twitch unnaturally as he stared at the item.

"Look. The briefcase." He whispered

"No, don't. You won't be able to get there in time." Luther remarked, his voice low

His eyes started to blink rapidly as his breathing became shaky. He needed to get that briefcase and he needed to do it now.

"Of course I will. This is our only chance." Five explained

"Hey, uh, just remind me what was the final stage of paradox psychosis again?" Luther questioned

"Homicidal rage." Five stated flatly

"Right." Luther said upbeat before realizing the answer and taking on a concerned tone "That's great."

Five couldn't wait much longer. He had the opportunity to get everyone home and he was going to go for it. Crouching, he slowly started making his way towards the briefcase. As he started to make his way over Luther protested,

"Five, listen to me. I...No. No!"

Instead of listening though Five continued to move towards the case. Using the reflection of the scope on his gun Commission Five, could see his counterpart's every move. Waiting for the time to strike he watched as Academy Five took off in a run before spatial jumping to get to him. Reacting equally, Commission Five spatial jumped back towards where Luther stood. Holding the gun up he aimed it at the teen's head as he remarked,

"Bad idea, shit-heel."

Frustrated by the situation at hand, Luther marched over towards Commission Five and grabbed the gun out of his hands. Directing his attention towards both Fives he scolded,

"Stop it! All right? The both of you. Pull it together. Now, Kennedy is gonna be coming around that corner any minute. Okay? So, everyone, let's just take a deep breath."

Taking a deep breath, Luther looked towards the two Fives waiting for them to follow. Both shakily inhaled and exhaled as they stared the giant man down. With both Fives standing silent Luther continued,

"Now, we're all family here, okay? So can we all just try to get along for a few more minutes?"

The two Fives looked at Luther for a second and if they were ever going to agree on something besides you, it was this. Looking towards his commission version, Five asked,

"You want it?"

"Go ahead." Commission Five responds

"What's that?" Luther questions

Without saying a work Academy Five kicks his leg up nailing Luther right in the crotch. A rush of pain floods through him as he drops to his knees unable to move.

"Shit..." Luther groans

"Now..." Commission Five starts

"Where were we?" Academy Five finishes as he adjusts his jacket

The two Fives start to spatial jump about the place, each trying to beat the life out of the other. Homicidal rage had taken over and there was nothing to stop them at this point. Each Five with their own goals in mind, fought the other trying to gain the upper hand in the situation. As they fought you were on your way back from retrieving your jacket. Getting closer to the staircase where you and your boyfriend had parted you got a bad feeling in your gut. It wasn't just an intuition feeling though, it was a physical feeling. There was a disturbance large enough nearby that you could feel it like a jab in your stomach. Your eyes shot wide as you realized there was only one way that molecules in this area were being disturbed so much you could sense from afar.

"Five." You said to yourself

Picking up your speed you started running up the stairs and across the bridge following the direction of the disturbance. Running down the flight of stairs on the other side you noticed the multiple flashes of blue light. Following the display of lights, you found yourself in a fenced-off parking lot. From where you stood you watched as the two Fives jumped around the place each trying to cause harm to the other. As they flashed into existence one more you saw as Commission Five nailed a punch directly to your boyfriend's face. Sucking in air through your teeth you comment,

"That's gotta hurt."

The two jumped around the lot a bit more but in a second's time, your boyfriend landed an equivalent punch to Commission Five's face. Throwing him off his rhythm, Academy Five followed his punch with a kick to the chest sending Commission Five back a bit. A grimace rose to your face as you continued to see the battle go down. Luther on the other hand was finally starting to recover from his pain. As the two Five flashed on either side of him, he stood up a little taller and tried to reason,

"Would you please..."

It was useless though. Neither of them stopped to listen, instead, they both kicked Luther in the gut at the same time before flashing away one more. Filling with rage, Luther yelled at the two,

"Hey! I'm getting really sick of this!"

Realizing the violence was now starting to extend to people besides each other, you started to cautiously make your way from the parking lot entrance towards the corner they were located. The two Fives flashed into existence once more. Breathing heavily, they stared each other down, the homicidal rage still lingering in their eyes.

"Getting tired yet?" Commission Five mocked

"I can do this all day." Academy Five remarked

"Guys, this has to stop." Luther tries to interject

"Eat shit, Ape Man." Both Five retorts

The two Fives run and jump at each other, causing a giant explosion of energy, sending them back onto the ground, and causing you to drop to your knees. The force of the explosion shocked your system and felt as if someone had speared you right through your abdomen. As you looked down at the ground, taking a few deep breaths, Luther had picked up Commission Five's gun. Pointing it between the two Fives as they laid on the ground, he angrily explained,

"Hey! Assholes! I'm done listening to you both. I'm in charge now."

With wide eyes to two quickly rose to their feet. Pointing in the direction of Academy Five, Commission Five commanded,

"Now, Luther! Shoot him!"

"No! Luther, shoot him!" Academy Five replied, pointing back

"Shoot him!" Commission Five emphasized

"No, Luther, shoot him." Academy Five retorted

As the pain started to subside you looked up from your spot on the ground towards the group not too far ahead of you. With the world coming back into focus, and the words that they were saying becoming clearer, your eyes went wide. You watched as Luther moved the gun back and forth to point at each Five, both of which were demanding the other be shot dead. This couldn't happen, there would be a horrible outcome either way and yet you were frozen in place. As Luther stood with the gun ready to shoot Commission Five continued to demand,

"Luther, shoot him!"

Slowly, Luther pointed the gun towards Academy Five. Looking back at his brother his eyes were wide with shock and fear. He couldn't be shot, this couldn't be how it ended. At the hands of his daddy issues ridden brother, and a manic version of himself whose only authority was he looked his age? No. Five looked between Luther and the Commission version of himself pleading,

"Luther, shoot him."

"Now, Luther!" Commission Five exclaimed

"Luther..." Academy Five begged

You could hear the desperation in your boyfriend's voice as he tried to get his brother to point the gun away from him. The saddened and fearful look on his face gave you the push you needed to snap out of your shock at the situation. You were not losing anyone today, but especially not your best friend. As you started to stand you could quietly hear from afar Luther say,

"I'm sorry, buddy."

"NO!" You shouted

The world around you started to feel like it was going in slow motion as you ran towards the group before transporting your molecules from behind Luther to in front of them. Raising your hand as you reappeared you forced the barrel of the gun up towards the sky. The force of the movement caused Luther's finger to slip and accidentally hit the trigger sending a shot up high and causing you to fall back onto the ground due to the recoil. Hitting the ground, you could hear the echoes of the gunshot as the world returned to normal speed. Realizing what had just occurred both Fives' eyes went wide with panic. Quickly rushing towards you, they called out,

"(Y/N)!"

Hearing your name, you sat up from the ground and look between the two Fives kneeling at your sides. The sound of the gun sent a panic through both of them as they looked you over for injuries. The last thing either of them wanted was for you to be hurt. As you looked between the two you could see the fear in their eyes. The last thing they wanted was for you to get hurt again

"Are you okay?" Commission Five asked, panic evident in his tone

"Are you in pain?" Academy Five questioned concerned

"Guys, I'm fine." You responded

All you had done was fall down and you had probably taken worse falls before so you were sure you would be fine. The two Fives looked over you once more before turning their attention to each other.

"This wouldn't have happened if you didn't bring that gun!" Academy Five yelled

"No! This wouldn't have happened if you didn't jump back in time!" Commission Five shouts back

"I saved her from dying in the apocalypse." Academy Five exclaimed

"Yeah well you didn't save the world she lived in, now did you?!" Commission Five remarked

"AHHHH!" Academy Five screamed as decked Commission Five in the face

Jumping over your legs, he tacked Commission Five to the ground. Standing up, you brushed the dirt off of your pants and witnessed as the two Fives rolled around on the ground shouting and fighting with each other. As you stood there watching them fight each other you realized they weren't going to listen to you if you were even relatively okay. And even if you tried stopping their fighting forcefully, and explaining what you wanted to happen, they still were so enraged with each other that they weren't even thinking about anything other than killing each other. The only time that it seemed like the real Five cut through their psychosis was when they were concerned about your wellbeing. And then it clicked. If you wanted them to truly listen to you, you couldn't be working towards the end goal you desired, they had to work towards what would make you happy. Or at least they had to believe they were doing so. You had to go to the extreme opposite of what they wanted. You needed to be sad.

Acting wasn't quite your specialty but you had helped Addison rehearse lines enough times that you had an adequate grasp on how the look and sound of different emotions were. Taking some short heavy breaths you started to mimic the sound of sniffling as you used your powers to collect water molecules from the air forming fake tears in your eyes. Taking a deep breath you hoped that this would be convincing enough for the two Fives. Letting the breath go you started to sob aggressively. Immediately, both Fives stopped fighting and sprung to their feet, quickly making their way back to you. Taking your face in his hands, your boyfriend asks,

"Mon chérie, what's wrong?"

"Did I do something wrong?" You cried

"What do you mean?" Your boyfriend questioned

"You could never do anything wrong!" Commission Five tried to comfort

Turning your attention specifically to Commission Five you lean more into your "sadness". Letting out a loud wail you collect more water by your eyes to make it seem like you're crying harder. Looking up at him with your face drenched in tears you exclaim,

"N-no I had to do something wrong! I had to do something for you not to like me anymore!"

"Not like you? You're my best friend." Commission Five tries to explain

"Then w-why won't you h-help me get home?" You stuttered "I don't belong here and if w-w-we stay we're all going to d-die in a nuclear apocalypse!"

"I- uh- I-" Commission Five

"I DON'T WANT TO DIE!" You wail

Worried that the lack of genuine sadness might begin to show, you threw your face into your hands and let out exaggerated sobs. Luther and Academy Five looked between your small sobbing figure and the old version of Five who looked like he was at a loss for words. Commission Five couldn't let you die, his whole purpose for surviving through the apocalypse was to make sure that you didn't die, and he wasn't going to go back on that now. Placing his hands on your shoulders he calmly says,

"You're not going to die. I'm going to make sure you get home."

Lifting your head from your hands you wipe your eyes as you start to sniffle more quietly.

"You will?" You ask softly "You'll give us the briefcase and go to 2019 so I can get home?"

"I will." Commission Five affirmed

You nodded your head at him before turning around and looking towards your boyfriend.

"Five! Open the portal!" You commanded

Five blinked a few times as his brain tried to get up to speed but once he knew what was going on he responded,

"Right."

Within seconds blue energy started to whir as he opened a portal through time back to the day of the funeral in 2019. Feeling the emerging disturbance grow as the portal became larger and larger you did what Charlie had instructed you to do all those years ago. Instead of fighting the energy that coursed through you embraced it having it flow in and out through you like a cycle.

"Into the vortex you go, asshole." Academy Five shouted from afar

Commission Five didn't respond and instead looked at you. Giving a nod of your head you extended a hand out towards him. With the briefcase in one hand, he took yours in his other as you walked him towards the vortex. Commission Five took a step in front of you as he stared into his literal future. He would be reunited with his siblings. He had the information on what causes the apocalypse and could easily stop it. And...he was going to see you again. But a you that hadn't seen him since he left. One that he didn't know if they would love them. Commission Five's heart started to race as he panicked about the different possibilities of what could happen when he arrived in 2019. Turning around to face you, you noticed a worried expression on his face.

"I can't do it. What if something's changed." He stated

"What do you mean?" You asked confused

"What if something's changed and this (Y/N) doesn't love me?" Commission Five asked concerned

"Impossible." You replied

"Is it? Maybe Tiger Beat over there just got lucky." Commission Five suggested, anxiety lacing his voice

"In all honestly, with everything he did he should've failed. Any other person would have failed, but I love him so much that it didn't matter." You explain "And the same will go for you."

"But what do I do?"

"Be honest, be her best friend, and love her as you always have." You respond softly "And when the time is right, you feel the pieces fall into place."

Five looked towards you and gave you a smile which you returned. Your words comforted him and maybe things wouldn't be so bad. Looking around at the group Commission Five commented,

"All right...I guess this is it."

"This is it. Go." Academy Five demanded

You looked at Commission Five and rolled your eyes, eliciting a small laugh from him. Turning your head to face your boyfriend, you replied,

"Be nice. You were in his place two weeks ago. Can't you at least give him some advice?"

"She'll show up when you feel like the conversation with your siblings is over." Academy Five said with an annoyed sigh

As he finished his statement, a fire extinguisher flew out from the portal, passing you and Commission Five, and instead hit Luther in the head knocking him to the ground. The rest of you stared on in shock at what had just happened. As Academy Five, focused more on his brother though, the portal started to shrink. Looking up from the ground Luther could see what was happening with the portal and shouted,

"Five! It's shrinking!"

"You need to go, NOW." Academy Five yelled

Seeing the situation going on Commission Five wrapped you in a tight hug as he attempted a goodbye. The goodbye that he never got the last time he left you.

"Thank you, (Y/N)." he whispered "You're my best friend and I don't know how I could go on without you."

The two of you pulled back from the hug. Giving him one more smile, you gestured to the vortex as you replied,

"Don't give these words to me. Give them to her."

Seeing the portal continue to shrink and Commission Five standing still in the 1960s, Luther started to panic. Quickly getting off the ground he rushed over to where the two of you stood and kicked a leg up to push him into the portal before it closed. You watched as he fell back into the portal of blue. His arm started to reach out, trying to hand you the briefcase as he yelled,

"Wait!"

It was too late though. Luther had pushed him through the portal and it closed. All that was left was half of a now-defunct briefcase. You looked towards the only Five left, your Five, and saw the shocked look on his face. With his eyes wide and his jaw dropped you could only imagine that his reaction mirrored that of your own. From behind you, Luther cheered,

"We did it!"

"The briefcase, you idiot." Five mumbled as he walked past him

"What?" Luther questioned before looking at the ground and seeing the wrecked case

Five angrily paced around. What were you all going to do now? That was the hail mary. That was the last-ditch effort. You all were stuck here due to Luther's incompetence. Five shot Luther a nasty glare to which he responded,

"Hey, you know what? A thank-you for preserving your existence would be nice."

"A thank-you." Five scoffed

While the two brothers argued, you were still frozen in place. You hadn't moved from where you were when the portal had closed. Just seconds ago you were going to go home and now...you had nothing. As you stared at the charred briefcase on the ground you whispered to yourself,

"He was just about to leave on his own..."

From the background, the sound of the radio breaks through as the announcer details the arrival of President Kennedy. Realizing he'd be here any minute Five rushes over to the fence where Kennedy would be passing by, calling you and Luther in the process.

"(Y/N)! Luther! Here he comes!" He shouts

Luther and you rush towards the fence and stand on either side of Five. Being too short to see over the top you opted to become invisible and stand on the other side of it. You crossed your arms and leaned against the fence as you looked around at the crowds of people. All of them standing and waiting to catch a glimpse of the president on this historic day. When you first came to the 60s you wondered if you were going to get to see the assassination of JFK, you honestly did not want nor expect to be in this time that long but now here you were. As Luther looked over the fence he could spot Sir Hargreeves in the distance standing on the grassy knoll. Tapping Five to get his attention he pointed out,

"Look, there's Dad. What do we do?"

Five wasn't paying attention to his dad though. From across the street, a figure could be seen sprinting towards the grassy knoll.

"Oh, shit." Five commented

"Diego." You replied

The three of you watched as Diego ran across the street and towards what looked like Sir. Hargreeves. Approaching the figure, Diego tackled him to the ground. He had done it, he stopped his dad and saved Kennedy! And then, the hat of the man fell off, and looking back at him was a man who was not his father. His eyes went wide with shock as the man who now laid tackled to the ground laughed in Diego's face. From behind him, multiple gunshots could be heard as the crowd yelled in fear. Leaning down to the man on the ground he grabbed him buy his jacket and demanded,

"Where is he!"

Pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket he held it out towards Diego, who snatched it from the man's hand. Opening it up all the letter read was

Told you so...

A tear ran down Diego's face as he realized he had failed. As people ran off in all directions trying to escape Dealey Plaza, you all stood in place, disbelief and shock on your faces. You knew that history was going to happen. Hearing about it was one thing but seeing it so close, was another. After the shock wore off you realized that you all needed to get out of here, it didn't look right for people to still be standing around after the president was just shot. Walking back through the fence, you made yourself visible again as you emphasized,

"We need to get Diego and get out of here."

"How are we going to do this?" Luther asked

"You two stay here and figure out a place to go to lay low. I'll get Diego." You responded

Turning invisible once more you went through the fence again and rushed over to Diego. You saw as he stood frozen in place unable to move due to his failure to save the president. Grabbing his hand you said urgently,

"Diego we need to go."

Diego shook his head a little coming out of his trance and looked around for the voice who had called to him. If only he could see you roll your eyes at his stupidity.

"Diego, it's me. We need to go." You repeated as you started to drag him along behind you

Running towards the fence you found the spot where it had stopped and rounded the corner to meet back up with Luther and Five. Becoming visible on more you asked them,

"What's the plan?"

"We're going to head back to Elliott's. It's the only place we really have at the moment." Five explained

"Let's go then." Diego replied

The four of you took off running down the back streets of Dallas towards Elliott's place, trying your best not to be spotted by anyone. As you made it to the alley you all arrived in when you first came to the 60s, you rushed in through the back door of Elliott's place shutting it quickly behind you. Entering the building you saw Vanya, Klaus and Allison sitting around the living room. A solemn silence loomed in the air as you all stood there, the world falling apart even if the nuclear apocalypse had been avoided. There was something missing though. You watched as Klaus gave the group a far off look before getting up from his spot on he couch. The group watched as he walked without purpose towards the back bedroom. And that's when it hit you. Ben wasn't here. Following Klaus down the hall you quietly called out,

"Klaus, where's Ben?"

Slowly he turned to look at you, a far off look in his eyes. Oh, (Y/N). Sweet, sweet (Y/N). Still caring about this family of fuck-ups even after everything that had happened. It was in Klaus' instinct to lie. Lying caused him a lot less trouble most of the time but with the concerned look on your face, he couldn't lie to you. Even after all these years he still remembered the kindness you gave him as a child. He remembered the birthday gifts you gave him when you were all thirteen and times were simpler. He remembered the times where you would secretly join him in the mausoleum and hold him to protect him from the ghosts. He remembered you, his friend, his family. After all that you had done for him, it would be doing you a disservice to lie.

"Someone had to stop Vanya from blowing up the FBI building..." Klaus responded quietly

Your concerned expression morphed into one of sadness. He was gone and this time he wasn't coming back. Looking back towards Klaus you said,

"But we didn't get to say goodbye..."

"It must be a family curse. None of us ever get a proper goodbye." Klaus responded sadly "People just disappear..."

You looked down towards the floor, not at anything in particular but you knew if you looked Klaus in the eyes that you wouldn't be able to hold yourself together much. The pain of losing a friend again weighted heavy on you. Seeing your saddened reaction Klaus tried his best to make things easier for you. Attempting to put on a cheerier tone he mentioned,

"If it makes you feel any better, he always loved you most. He'd still talk about you even years after his death."

A slight smile briefly came to your face. You were happy that you had left such an impact but...you never got to talk to him about that. Instead of trying to find the words to speak you instead took a step forward and threw your arms around Klaus. Wrapping his arms back around you, the two of you stood in a silent embrace each of you quietly reassuring each other that things would be okay, even when they weren't. Stepping back from the hug, Klaus placed his hands on your shoulders as he said,

"I just need a minute."

You gave him a small nod and turned to walk away. As you made your way back towards the kitchen and living room you noticed that no one was there. Looking over the balcony you saw that the rest of the group was downstairs and headed down. When you got there you stood on the bottom step in between where Five and Diego were, your attention now focused on the TV broadcast the group was watching.

"Authorities are asking for help identifying several persons of interest at Dealey Plaza at the time of the assassination. The FBI believes they may have been acting in concert with the alleged shooter, Lee Harvey Oswald. Vanya Hargreeves, wanted in connection with the deaths of several FBI agents inside the federal building at Dealey Plaza. A Cuban exile known only as Diego..." The TV announcer started

"Cuban?" You and Diego questioned at the same time

"Who recently escaped from the Holbrook Sanitarium. A bare-knuckle boxer with suspected Mafia ties who fights under the alias ''King Kong''. Allison Chestnut, a Negro radical responsible for instigating and organizing the recent riots at Stadtler's lunch counter. And finally, Klaus, the controversial cult leader and known tax evader. The FBI is asking the public to be on the lookout for this unidentified boy, who they believe is being held hostage by the suspected terrorist network." The announcer finished

"Well, it's true. I do feel like I'm being held hostage most days." Five remarked sarcastically

"God, I hate that photo." Diego commented

"They're saying I instigated the riot?" Allison scoffed "That's unbelievable."

"Look, the good news is that we restored the timeline and we stopped doomsday." Luther states

"Yeah, a bunch of real goddamn heroes. We let Kennedy die." Diego retorts

"Yeah, and now we're officially the most wanted people in the world. The FBI is after us, the Dallas police, the Secret Service. It's only a matter of time before they hunt us down here." Allison interjects

"Well, where are we supposed to go?" Vanya questions

"I have this yurt just outside Reykjavik. We could totally lay low there. Folks there are a little weird, but lovely." Klaus suggests as he comes down the stairs

Passing by you he walks to stand near Vanya. It was still weird not seeing Ben standing by him or at least somewhere in the place.

"Hey, numbnuts. Hiding's not gonna make a difference here. The Commission will hunt us down wherever and whenever we go." Five reminds

"He's right. They'll never stop." Diego agrees

Five looked over towards Diego and narrowed his eyes. What was he talking about?

"I'm sorry, since when are you an expert on the Commission?" Five inquired

"Since I got back from there." Diego stated

"What?" Five asked confused

"Yeah, they headhunted me, offered me a job. Full time with benefits, which I had to turn down."

"Uh, as my brother I would hope you'd turn it down." You interjected "They drugged and kidnapped me."

"They headhunted you," Five chuckles "the village idiot?"

"What, am I not allowed to be headhunted? Only the almighty Five needs to be in demand?" Diego retorted

As Diego and Five started to bicker the rest of the group started to become annoyed at the scene unfolding. Rolling their eyes and taking steps away from the two, you all hoped that they would shut up soon. You especially. The Hargreeves were being tracked by every type of law enforcement in this nation on top of being hunted by a group of time assassins led by a psychotic megalomaniac.

"Diego, you're not Commission material, all right? Got an obstinate nature to ya." Five comments

"Who do you think it was that figured out Vanya was the one that causes doomsday and stopped it?" Diego asked rhetorically

"Hey!" Klaus exclaims from the other staircase

You didn't know if he knew Ben stopped Vanya or not, but even if he didn't know that Ben was the one to actually stop the apocalypse it still was incredibly selfish to take the credit for it. Ignoring the looks that the rest of his siblings were giving him Diego got up in Five's face and continued,

"Me. That's who. I figured it all out on the Infinite Switchboard."

"You were on the Infinite Switchboard?" Five asked

"Hell, yeah. I made that machine my bitch."

Five scoffed and looked away from Diego. There's no way he was able to work the infinite switchboard on his own. You were at the commission and the both of you escaped so most likely you had to be together. Turning to look at you Five asked,

"Babe, did he really make the machine his bitch?"

"I don't know, I was off committing war crimes," You answer before doing a double take an asking "Wait what did you call me?"

Before anyone else spoke Vanya interjected and questioned,

"War crimes?"

"Don't ask." Luther replied

"Y'all need to recognize I got shit going on y'all don't even know about." Diego yelled as he looked around the room

"Oh, sorry. You've got things going on?" Allison remarked sarcastically

"This isn't helpful." Luther adds as he paces about the place

You watched as Vanya quietly left the group and went to go upstairs. As she disappeared out of sight you threw your head into your hands. You didn't want to even witness the siblings start to argue with each other. As they noise of their disagreement about what to do next in this situation grew the voice of th TV anchor cut through the yelling,

"In other news, the adoptive daughter of billionaire Reginald Hargreeves has been reported missing. We now go live to the police station where Police Chief Jesse Curry just giving a statement on the case."

You looked up from your hands and looked towards the TV. Watching the press conference you can see the police chief standing at a podium in front of the station but in the background someone familiar stood there.

"Mom..." you said to yourself

Almost in a trance you walked through the group of bickering Hargreeves towards the TV before crouching down in front of it. You stared at your mom on the screen as she stood in the background of the broadcast. Bringing your hand up to the TV you gently placed it on top of the image of her as the chief started to speak.

"The Dallas police department is working tirelessly to find Miss (Y/N). She was last seen at home in her bedroom before being reported missing by her mother this morning. Detectives have multiple theories that they are working on at the moment. There is a concern that she and her friend Charles Anderson may have also been taken by the terrorist organization the FBI is tracking due to their connection to Sir Hargreeves and high society status. If you see or hear anything please call Dallas Police immediately so that we can bring her home."

As the group bickered on behind you, you stood up from in front of the TV. Turning to go upstairs you passed Vanya as she walked back down. Slowly, you made your way to the kitchen and picked up the phone. You might've been cursed with people leaving before you could say goodbye, but you weren't going to subject anyone else to it. Taking a deep breath you tried to calm yourself as you dialed the number into the phone. The was a ringing for a few moments before a man could be heard on the other line asking,

"Dallas Police non-emergency line. How can I help you?"

"I'd like to speak with Grace, miss (Y/N)'s mom please." You said as steady as you could

"One moment." They replied

You waited silently on the other end before hearing the sound of a familiar voice urgently asking,

"Hello?"

There was a moment when she first spoke where you wanted to hang up, and avoid the pain both of you would feel if you continued the call. Maybe you could pick up and try to move on like you always did and she could hopefully move on from you after some time. It wasn't right though, you called for a reason and it would be wrong to go back on it. Trying to find the words, you started,

"Hi mom."

"Oh my god! (Y/N) where are you! Are you alright?" Your mom said panicked

You could hear the pain in her voice. It was the pain of a mother who's child was put in danger too many times recently. The pain of a mother who just wanted to find them and make sure they would be okay. You could feel her pain strike your heart as you tried to continue,

"I'm fine."

"Where are you? Are you with those terrorists?" She questioned distressed

"I am." you replied, your voice starting to waver

"Oh god. What have they done to you? Are you hurt?" Grace fearfully asked

"No..." You stated as your throat started to tighten "they haven't done anything to me"

"Tell me, what do they want? Money?" Grace pleaded "I know I just left Reginald but I can go back and talk to him. I know that he would pay anything to get you back safely. However much, we'll get it to them."

Tears started to well in your eyes as you tried to get through the conversation. You could hear the heartbreak in her voice and could only imagine the emotional look she probably had on her face. You started to wonder if this goodbye was more for her or more for you. As your chest clenched feeling your own heart start to break you stuttered out,

"I-I-I'm going far away, Mom."

"No, no, no. We'll fine them and stop them. Just tell me where you are," Grace begged

"I can't." you replied before apologizing "Mom...I am so sorry that I brought you into this mess. This is never how I wanted things to go or end."

"Sweetie you're talking like you're not coming back from this." Grace replied confused

"I'm not."

You could hear her sobs on the other side of the line. Closing your eyes tightly, tears started to fall from your eyes and roll down your face. Your breathing became short and choppy as you held back your own cries. Through her tears, Grace yelled,

"No, you will. You will!"

"Mom...I need you to know that I love you so much. You have made my time here so much better than it could've been. I showed up out of the blue and you still took care of me and loved me as your own." You explained to her through a cracked voice "It pains me to lose a parent again but no matter what happens next, you'll always be my mom."

"(Y/N)-" She begged

"I love you Mom." You stated

"I love you too-" She replied

"Goodbye." You stated

You could hear your Mom shout,

"Wait-"

But it was too late. Hanging up the phone you pressed your back against the wall and slowly slumped down to the floor. Pulling your knees close to your chest you used your hand to cover your mouth as you tried to silence your cries. Shutting your eyes, you let the tears stream down as everything you tried to hold back on the phone came came out. There was so much more pain that came with a goodbye. When you never got to say it there was always that hope that one day the person would come back, but that hope was gone once you said it. As you sat on the floor below the phone softly crying, you felt a hand on your shoulder. Opening your eyes you looked at the figure kneeling in front of you,

"Charlie..." you whispered "D-did you hear?"

"I did." He whispered back

"Charlie, I- I can't get her involved with this...With me." You explained through your tears "I don't want her to get hurt."

"I know." He replies calmly

Standing up he extends a hand to help you off the ground which you take. Quietly he guides you over towards the living room. From below you can still hear the bickering of the Hargreeves. You couldn't make out what it was they were yelling about now but it didn't matter. As Charlie sat down in a chair you paced about the place thinking about everything that happened to you. Everything. From the moment you left your home in 2002 as you tried to find out what was wrong with your best friend up until this moment now where you were holed in a dead man's TV store literally counting down the minutes until the FBI broke the door down. Your heart began to race as emotions you had refused to deal with for so long flooded your system. Grief, anger, sadness. You started to feel it all at once. Hot tears rolled from you eyes and you shouted,

"FUCK."

From down below the Hargreeves stopped their bickering. Quieting down they all looked up towards the upstairs. Although they couldn't see anything they could hear the sound of Charlie saying,

"(Y/N), it'll be okay. What do you need?"

What did you need? You needed a lot. You needed to not be in situation where everyone but you and your boyfriend was an assumed terrorist. You needed to get out of this time. You needed a steady place to stay. You were sad and scared and felt like you were right back where you started all those years ago. A wave of anger boiled over as you turned to Charlie and snapped,

"I NEED MY MOM AND DAD CHARLIE."

Finishing you statement, your flash of anger turned back to sorrow as you collapsed to your knees. Your body couldn't hold the weight of your pain any longer and gave out. Loud sobs echoed through the place as you finally let it all out. If only your parents could see you now. Would they be proud? Would they still be happy to call you their own? You looked up towards the ceiling and stated,

"I'm so sorry that I caused this mess we're in."

Maybe if you were lucky the heavens would hear you and deliver the message to your parents wherever they were. The Hargeeves stood in place as they beared witness to the anguish you carried with you for so long. The heavy burden of all your pain was finally coming to light, and none of them enjoyed your sorrow. Wanting to fix the situation, Five and Diego tried to start making their way up the stairs to you but Allison put her hands up to stop them. Looking at her confused Allison replied,

"This is not one for you two to try and fix. Just let Charlie try to help."

Five and Diego both felt helpless. They wanted to be there for you and help you through your emotions. It was ridiculous that Allison was blocking them from doing so. What did she mean this is not one for you to fix? As the two of them tried to push past her, Allison stated,

"Don't make me rumor you into staying down here."

The two boys reluctantly walked back down the stairs to where they stood before but neither was happy about the situation. Back upstairs, Charlie did not quite grasp the intent of your message and instead thought you were talking about the situation you were in now. Trying to comfort he stated,

"(Y/N), this isn't your fault. You have to understand that you are the least culpable person in all of this."

You ignored him as you looked off in the distance. Your sobs started to subside but you were left with a hallow feeling within you. A complete emptiness. In a monotone voice you asked Charlie,

"You know what my parents told me when I was younger?"

"What?" He asked

"They gave me three rules to remember. First, remember you are unconditionally loved. The second, always try your best and do what's right. And the third...stay away from the house across the street." You recalled

"The Academy." Charlie said

"Yes. They wrote it on a piece of paper and hung it on the fridge. I saw that rule every day at every meal. They drilled it into me as if it was the most important piece of information I'd ever know." you elaborated almost breathlessly "And yet I still didn't listen. They were worried if I associated with them I'd get hurt and I guess they were right but it's probably not the hurt they expected."

"So you regret meeting the Hargreeves?"

"No, never. I don't regret meeting any of them. I love them all even if they don't all love me. I just wish...I wish I could've done more for them. Maybe if I was there...to stop their shitty dad...if I had just done more then we wouldn't be here. This wouldn't have happened"

The Hargreeves stood saddened and shocked at your admission. You had never told any of them about the third rule, not even Five. You never told them your parents explicitly stated to stay away from their house. To stay away from them. You came over every time you could to hangout and spend time with them fully knowing you could get in trouble if you were found out. You ignored what your parents told you to do just so you could be with all of them. And now here you were upset that you didn't do more to help them? All you ever did was help them. The short time that they had you in their lives was the best time they could remember.

While the others looked around at each other, Luther looked towards the ground. A feeling of guilt washed over him as he fully realized how awful he had been to you when all you were was a friend to him. Did he really forget all the things that you did for him in his youth? All the fun you had? He was so loyal to his father, so protective of his number one status, that he treated you, the only person to see him as a person so poorly. All that time ago, Diego was right. You were family.

Charlie stood up from his seat and walked over to where you were on the floor. Sitting down next to you, he placed a hand on your back. As he looked into your eyes, he questioned calmly,

"How could you have predicted what would happen?"

"I-I couldn't...I was just a kid...god we were all just kids." you exclaimed as you threw your head into your hands

"Hey, hey it's okay." Charlie tried to comfort

"I just- I should've done more. I should've been there." You try to argue

"If you were there you would've never met your other friends. And wouldn't you regret it if you didn't meet them as well?" Charlie asked

"Yes, but-" you started to reply but were cut off by Charlie

"(Y/N), no matter how painful some of the consequences of your decisions have been it seems like everything in your life has been the right thing for you. This was always out of your hands (Y/N). You don't need to be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned. You just need to be you. I mean what more could you have done to prevent where you are now?" He questioned

"I don't know I could've redistributed the molecules at the theatre. I at least could've tried" You replied at a loss for words

"(Y/N), listen to me." Charlie says taking on a more serious tone "That night nearly killed you. If you recall, you came to the 1960s in a coma. And even if you did know how to redistribute like you do now, Vanya is still immensely more powerful. She's blew up the moon after all. Even if you had tried, that much energy is too much for one person."

Your far off gaze came back into focus and you looked over to Charlie.

"You're right..." You replied "It is too much for one person."

"Now, how about we go back to the rest of the group and figure out where to go from here." Charlie suggested

"Okay."

The two of you stood up again and started making your way to the stairs. As the group below saw you approach and start to come down towards them, they knew that they had to start talking about something, because it would be rude to bring up your feelings now. You had just calmed down and had already been through enough. Facing all of them and having to realize that they listened in wasn't in your best interest. Vanya had wanted to say something for a while but didn't do so while you were still upstairs. Realizing that this was her chance she stated,

"I'm leaving."

"What? To go where?" Allison questioned confused

"Sissy's farm. Something's wrong with Harlan, and I need to help him." Vanya explains

"Vanya, we need to stick together, okay? Now more than ever." Luther replies

"That's why I'm telling you this. Whatever's going on with Harlan, I think I might've caused it." Vanya elaborates

"How?" Klaus questions

"He drowned, and, uh, somehow I was able to bring him back to life. And now it's like we're connected." Vanya states

"Wh... What does that even mean?" Allison asks

"I don't know. I can't explain, but...I know that he needs my help and I need your help, too. I'm scared. And for the first time in my life, I don't wanna do it alone. I want my family by my side." Vanya says before looking at you "All of my family."

The group was silent as you all looked at her, each person debating in their head on what to do. Everyone stayed still for a moment until Diego stepped forward and said,

"Look, I'm sorry. We have other priorities right now."

"Diego's right. For once." Five added "We need to make our stand here and now."

The rest of the group stood there, not saying anything. Your jaw dropped as you were speechless at the lack of action the rest of the Hargreeves were taking. With no one joining her Vanya grabbed car keys from her pocket and said,

"Okay. I guess I'll see you when I see you."

You all watch as Vanya walks out of the building. As the door to the alleyway slams you look around at the Hargreeves all standing quietly staring at the door Vanya had just left through. Turning your attention towards the group you ask,

"What is wrong with you guys?"

Turning their attention from the door to you, you continue,

"That is your sister. Your family. And for the first time she reaches out to this group for help and support and you're just going to send her off to be alone so you can what? Stand here and wait for the FBI to put bullets in all of your heads?"

The group is silent for a moment, but it didn't take long before Klaus stood up and said,

"(Y/N) is right. We should be with Vanya."

Grabbing a jacket, he puts it on and without another word walks out the door to go join her. It takes a few moments but slowly the rest of the group nodded their head and made their preparations to go. You watched as Allison walked out the door with Diego trailing close behind.

"I'm only doing this because you want it." Diego comments before exiting the building

"Sure it is," You remark with a smirk

As you make your way down to the bottom step, you can see your boyfriend start to approach you.

"Can I help you?" You ask, your smirk still evident

Five gives you a smile back as he takes your hand in his. Looking into your eyes, he saw all he could ever want and more and as he held your hand he couldn't help but worry about you and what would happen if the group ran away.

"You realize if we leave that we're always going to have to be on the run?" Five asks gently

"Well then we'll have to make the most of it. Won't we?" You reply

"I guess so," He says with a smirk before giving you a peck on the lips "I'll meet you at the car."

Slowly, Five starts to walk away, holding on to your hand until he's too far to touch it anymore. As Five exits the door Luther lingers around a bit. After everything you had said and all the stuff he realized he knew he owed you an apology. Carefully, approaching you he started to say,

"Hey (Y/N), I-"

"(Y/N), can I talk to you for a second?" Charlie cuts off, not hearing Luther

"Yeah, one second." You tell him before turning back to Luther "What did you want to say Luther?"

Luther scratched the back of his neck as he looked off to the side. This probably wasn't a good time to talk anyway.

"Uh...just that I'll see you at the car." Luther mumbled

"Oh, alright." You replied

As Luther walked off you turned your attention to Charlie.

"What's up?"

"I have something for you." Charlie replied

You looked at him curiously. What could he have had for you? Pulling a duffle bag out from behind his back he handed it to you, a smile wide across his face.

"Charlie what is this?" You questioned

"Open it!" he exclaimed

Placing the back on top of the nearby TV, you unzipped it to see what was inside. Your eyes went wide and a smile appeared on your face as you looked in the bag.

"Charlie this is all my stuff." you stated

"All your stuff you brought to the 1960s, your clothes, plus a few extra things that I thought you might want to take with you." He explained

You looked over the bag filled with all of your things, happy to see them all again and know that they were in your possession, but you were confused as to why Charlie presented them to you.

"Thank you Charlie, but why did you bring this to me?" You questioned

The smile on Charlie's face faltered as he looked at you.

"I had a gut feeling this morning that today would be...it. So I packed up all of the stuff that I knew you would want or need and brought it with me when I left the mansion this morning. I didn't want you to not have any of it in case this happened." He explained

"Well I appreciate it. I'd be very sad if I didn't have this stuff with me." you replied

Your smile from seeing your stuff faltered as well. Charlie was right, this would be it. You had no clue if or when you would ever see him again. You could feel your heart clench once more as you realized you had to say goodbye to another person you loved. Turning away so he couldn't see the pain on your face you started to zip up the bag to take it with you to the car. Beofe you could get the bag closed though Charlie exclaimed,

"Oh, one more thing!"

Turning your attention back to him you watched as he pulled something out from his back pocket. Handing the item to you, you saw that it was an envelope addressed to you. Turning it over you started to open it but were stopped when Charlie requested,

"Don't read it now. Read it once you leave in the car."

Place the letter into the bag, you looked back to Charlie and asked,

"So what are you going to do now?"

"I'm going to stay here, find some duct tape and make it look like I was a hostage so when the FBI comes I can say the ''terrorists" took off to Mexico with you and the boy."

You let out a laugh at his plan. Granted, it would probably work to buy you and the rest of the group some time but you still found it a bit silly to duct tape himself. Rolling your eyes you stated,

"Well at least I can always count on you to be my alibi, but what happens after that?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'll start a painting business. Maybe I'll fall in love. We'll just have to see I guess." he answers with a shrug "Anyway, let's get you going."

Rushing towards your friend, you enveloped him in a tight hug which he reciprocated. You took in a deep breath as you tried to savor the moment, not knowing when something like it would ever come again. As Charlie held you he felt what felt like a tiny zap on the back of his head. Pulling back to look at you he questioned,

"Did you just shock me?"

"Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't." You replied

Charlie rolled his eyes at you as you closed up your duffle bag of stuff. Placing the bag on your shoulder the two of you walked outside the building and towards the car. Seeing you in the sideview mirror, Five stepped out and opened the door so you could slide into the front seat between him and Vanya. Getting into the car you place your bag on the floor while Five slid in to the right of you. From outside Charlie closes the door before leaning into the open passenger window. Taking a look at you, he then turns to Five with a smile and comments,

"Keep her safe, will ya Five? She's one of a kind."

"I swear on my life I will." Five replies, wrapping and arm around you

Looking back to you he lets out a small sigh before saying,

"Goodbye (Y/N)."

"Goodbye Charlie." You reply

Standing up from the window, Vanya started to pull out of the alley and on to the road. As the car drove off, you watched as the silhouette of Charlie grew smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror until he was gone. Pulling the letter he gave you out of your bag, you opened the envelope and started to read it.

(Y/N),

I knew this day would come and I’ve had a draft of this letter prepared for a while but I never knew when I’d have to be writing this. After a while I thought I may be lucky and I’d never have to but this day had to come eventually.

I’m not good at saying goodbye because I’ve never really had anyone to say goodbye to. The last person I cared enough about when saying goodbye was my mom. You’re the second person in my life where it brings me pain to let you go.

Before you I didn’t have anyone. I was alone and by chance you fell into my life. Or I guess more so I fell into yours and I’ll be forever thankful for that day.

You’re the only friend I’ve ever had and closest friend I probably will have. I was lost and alone and you helped me find my way. You brought a light to my life I had never had before and showed me what life could be like. I learned how to live because of you.

I’m not sure what I’m going to do without you here all the time. No one else is going to yeet a sleeping bag at me or confuse me with facts about the future. It’s going to be difficult adjusting to life without you but I hope whatever I do next is something that can make you proud.

I wish you could stay here, but I know this isn’t your time. And I wish I could go with you, but I know it’s not what you’d want for me. Just know though that you’re the best friend I could’ve ever asked for and I hope to see you again someday soon.

Sincerely,

Your friend

Charlie

As you finished reading the letter silent tears fell from your face and you realized that whatever came next, there was no turning back from it now.

______________________

Click here for: The Vortex That Takes Me To You - “Me, Lu, and Five Times Two” Side Story

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missvelvetsstuff · 3 years ago

Text

Friday's Place

Bucky Barnes x reader

Mob AU

Summary

Friday is an equestrian who runs a therapeutic stable that works with special needs, at risk kids and veterans.

Bucky Barnes is the boss of SHIELD a mafia family and involved with a business deal that requires Friday's Place and all of the homes around it to be demolished for new buildings.

Brock Rumlow is second in command with Hydra and in charge of the deal Friday is fighting. He's not afraid to fight dirty, in fact he prefers it.

Sharon Carter is Friday's oldest frenemy and Brocks girl.

Friday won't go down without a fight. What happens when her and Bucky clash?

Notes: After getting stuck in some serious issues that I'm having a hard time writing about, in 2 other stories, I decided to go back to what I know, so let's see how many stories I can come up with that heavily feature horses.

There's a lot of me in Friday, shes not too different from Miss Velvet

I'll try to keep the physical descriptions vague but reader is a she and is taller than average because we Amazon's don't get enough love around here.

I'm also trying something different and planning the story out more and writing it all down instead of making it up as I go along. We'll see if that helps any.

Friday is actually my nickname since high school. I didn't use it for 'Miss Velvet' because of Friday the AI. I thought it would get too confusing. I do like using a nickname as opposed to Y/N all the time.

I guess I'll get this thing started. Hope y'all like it.

Warnings: swearing, marijuana use, some violence, sexual harassment, sexual thoughts. I'll try to update if anything else comes up.

Chapter 1 - Like Any Other Day

If she had known today would end up like this, Friday would have stayed in bed, not that it would have helped. It started like any other Saturday, up early, feed the horses, muck out stalls, morning lessons for her intermediate riders, lunch, afternoon lessons for beginner riders-. And that's where it went bad. During her group lesson, Brock Rumlow showed up.

"MJ, can you take over this lesson? You know the drill" Friday asked her assistant

"Of course, Boss." She looked Friday in the eye "Hollar if you need me and don't let that bastard get to you"

Friday grimaced and nodded, heading for her office "Good afternoon Mr Rumlow, how are you this lovely day?" she tried to smile but it looked pained. Brock didn't mind, he liked his women in pain and under his control.

Brock Rumlow is a local businessman and land developer. No deal is too sleazy if he can make a buck on it. Friday has heard whispers about his being in organized crime but only rumors. Either way, he made her skin crawl.

Brock flashed a lecherous grin "Good but I'll be even better if you say yes"

"Well, I'm sorry to leave you stuck at good but the answer is still no. To both of your questions. I won't sell this place. It's my home and we do important work here. And I certainly won't sleep with you. You're living with a friend of mine." Friday huffed and shook her head.

Brock laughed "Friend of yours? I know you hate Sharon, she certainly hates you. Won't shut up about how Peggy left you this house and on and on. Sometimes I just want to fuck you to shut her up but that's not it. I just know you are a tiger in bed and I need to have some."

Friday felt her face heat up and opened her mouth to snap back at him but Brock wasn't done.

"I know how close you are to bankruptcy on a monthly basis. If you sell now you'll get a lot more than if I have to get the governor to eminent domain you out. Maybe enough to set up at another location. You and your little homeowners group will all be gone. I'll get this land either way."

Brock pushed her up against the wall, rutting his partial erection against her and whispered in her ear "I'll get you, too. One way or another"

Peter walked in looking at some mail so he didn't see Friday's predicament right away "Hey Boss, we got another bill from the feed store. We're behind again and-" he looked up and saw Friday against the wall and Brock pulling away "is everything ok?" Brock straightened out his jacket and tie "Just fine, kid. Discussing my development plans"

Peter looked in her eyes, questioning. Friday shook her head "Yeah, development plans. Mr Rumlow was just leaving"

"See you around, sweetheart" Brock tossed back as he left.

Friday sat down, shaking. Peter gently touched her shoulder and she jumped. He pulled back "You ok, Boss?"

Friday shook her head "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Brock just really creeps me out." She looked at the clock "shit, I have to go finish that lesson." She popped a cannabis infused candy, stood up, brushed herself off and gave Peter a small smile on her way out of the office.

When Friday reached the arena she called out "Looking good kids. I'll finish up here, MJ. Can you start feeding?"

"As you wish" MJ smirked and bowed.

Friday shook her head then focused on the lesson. Rebecca was riding Cookie a chestnut, quarter horse mare, Cassie on Stinky a paint who was barely big enough to be considered a horse, Billy on Eagle a chestnut appaloosa gelding and Tommy on Goldie a palomino quarter horse mare "Rebecca, your form is much better, great job. Cassie, very nice but watch your elbows. Billy, your seat is awesome but you're tailgating, make a circle. Tommy! Put that phone away!! No, wait. Give it to me, I'll take it to your mom and-"

"No, please, Miss Friday. It won't happen again" Tommy begged

Friday sighed "Fine. Last warning. Phones go in your cubby in the tack room. 'Distracted riding is dangerous riding'." She almost giggled as the kids recited it with her. At least she knew they paid attention sometimes.

"Cool your horses off and we're done for the day. You know the drill, put your horses up."

Friday heard MJ calling her from the barn and left Peter to supervise the kids putting the horses up, to walk quickly to see what was wrong.

"Friday, Destry is down and look at this hay" she held out a handful for Friday to see. "It's moldy"

Destry is Friday's horse. With Peggy she rescued, rehabilitated and trained him. A tall black Tennessee Walker/Fresian cross and one of Friday's best friends.

"Fuck! We don't need this. Call Lisa, then go through the hay before you feed and put all the bad bales on a tarp in the truck. Call the feed store and tell them you'll be there in 20 minutes. I'll go take care of Destry."

Friday walked up to Destry's stall and he was on the ground in obvious pain. "Come on, buddy. I know it hurts but walking will help." After 15 minutes and a few tries she got him on his feet and walking around. Lisa drove up not long after.

"What happened to my boy?" Lisa asked as she rubbed Destrys face.

"Colic. Moldy hay. He was down but I got him back up and we've been walking." Friday replied, tiredly.

Lisa performed a quick exam "yeah, colic but I don't think it's impacted so I'll just use a stomach tube to relieve the pressure. Keep an eye on him tonight and call me if he had any more problems." Lisa went about her business and gave Destry a kiss on his forehead when she was done. "I'll stop by sometime tomorrow to see how he's doing."

"Thanks Lisa. Have a good nite."

Friday called MJ to ask her to pick up some food on her way back from the feed store.

When she got back to the office, Destry close behind, Friday was surprised to find Cassie and Rebecca waiting. "Where's your rides?" Friday inquired.

Rebecca shrugged but Cassie answered "My dad is on his way, he got caught up in something at work."

"Ok, let me call Dot to pick you up Rebecca. She's usually here when you're done." Friday called and Dot, Rebecca's nanny, apologized and said she was on her way.

When the black, tinted SUV drove up Dot jumped out and rushed up to Friday. "I'm so sorry about that, my, uh, errand took longer than expected"

Friday just grinned and wiped the side of her mouth while looking at Dot. Dot touched her mouth and felt something sticky. Her eyes got wide and she blushed furiously before wiping it off and then sucking it off of her finger, eyes fluttering. She looked at Friday and smirked. "I better get Becca home before dinner time."

Scott drove up a few minutes later, full of smiles and dad jokes like always. He was a computer whiz and had set up her network and created a program to help her track expenses update patient charts and keep the business part of the stable running. After they left Friday cleaned off her desk and was ready to lock up when the phone rang, she sighed "Friday's Place, this is Friday"

She heard a growl "Hey sweetheart, I just want to remind you to reconsider my offer. I would hate for anything bad to happen to your little pony rides. Sweet dreams". The phone disconnected.

Friday shook, some combination of fear and anger coursing through her. She knew enough of Brock's reputation and could admit that he scared her a little. Angry that he was trying to push her around and destroy her little piece of heaven.

She left the office when she heard a car pull up, assuming it was MJ but she wasn't that lucky.

The red Ferrari stopped and a beautiful blonde stepped out. "If it isn't Miss Friday, Aunt Peggy's perfect little apple polisher. Why do you insist on keeping this dump? You know she only gave it to you because she felt sorry for you. 25 and living above the barn, you were so pathetic" Sharon looked her up and down "still are"

Sharon got too close, right in her face "Brock told me you threw yourself at him again. Can't you even find your own man? I don't want to hurt you but I will. You better keep your hands off" she shoved Friday.

Friday stepped back, staring daggers at Sharon. "I wouldn't fuck Brock if he paid me. Do you have any actual business or is it just insults and threats? Because I have things to do."

Sharon smirked "Yeah, I heard about your horse. Hope he's better. You really need to be more careful checking your hay. I'd tell you to invest in higher quality feed but we both know you can't afford it. Just, be careful.

Oh, I gave another rider your card. I don't know why these kids come to try out expecting to use my horses. They just can't be taken seriously if they won't even get the basic equipment needed"

Friday rolled her eyes "Not equipment, Sharon, horses. Living, feeling animals. That happen to be expensive to keep up."

"If you were really serious you would have gotten a horse. Maybe you could have made it to the Olympics, like me, and have some shiny medals but all you have is the pity gift of Aunt Peggys property and some loser riders who weren't good enough for my stable."

Sharon turned to leave "Just be careful, hon. You're my oldest friend and I would hate for anything to happen to you or this little dump." She smirked at Friday and climbed into her car.

Friday sighed, Sharon came up in the show circuit the same time as Friday but her family had the money to buy her new, expensive horses whenever she outgrew the one she had. They were disposable to her and she barely bothered to learn their names. Friday rode Peggys retired show horses and was able to convince one stable to let her compete on one of their horses but Sharon's mother was very influential and knew all of the local trainers. She didn't like this charity case beating her daughter in multiple events and fed them stories of Friday's partying and promiscuity which made the owners wary of letting her ride their horses and her show career was effectively scuttled.

MJ finally came back from the feed store with a couple of pizzas. "Those bastard were trying to blame us for the mold. Refused to give us a refund or exchange. Then I told them I would be sending Nat to hash it out and started to leave. I don't know what she did but they were more than eager to replace the bad hay and gives us a credit on account. She's scary for someone so tiny." MJ laughed

Friday joined her laughing "Being a dancer has made Nat crazy strong and she has a serious temper. Most of the people around here don't want to mess with her. Hell, I'm glad I'm her friend."

MJ and Peter went home and Friday locked everything up and put a blanket down in Destrys stall, to sleep on. She walked him around for awhile and they both passed out in his stall.

Early next morning

"Friday! You back here?"

Friday opened her eyes and realized where she was. Destry was standing over her sniffing at her hair. She stood up.

"Lisa? That you" her vet friend looked into the stall.

"Looks like he's doing much better now" Lisa rubbed his head. She did a quick exam and gave him a clean bill of health. "Did you get a refund or anything from the feed store?"

"Yeah, MJ said they blew her off until she mentioned Nat. Funny thing is, Sharon was here not long after you left and already knew he had colic. And made some cryptic comments. Like how I'm her oldest friend and she doesn't want to see me hurt. 10 minutes before that she threatened to hurt me because Brock told her I keep throwing myself at him. Ugh." She shudders.

"Watch out for Sharon, she's been willing to seriously hurt you in the past and doesn't seem to have mellowed with age." Lisa warns. "But for now, go get some sleep.

Chapter 2

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky barnes #james bucky barnes x reader #mob!au #mafia!au #medical marijuana use #FridaysPlace

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bestruction · 4 years ago

Text

Falling in love with a marleyan pt.2

N/A: It was really hard to write for Eren because of all of his background. That’s why I’m insecure about this one. I hope you can enjoy

You can read the part 1 here

- Eren Jaeger

After the war that started in Marley because of the failure of the founding titan's mission, the government sent marleyan nurses to the hospital of the Liberio District. Since many people had died on the battlefield, it would take some time for the eldian medical unit to fully recover.

You were one of them.

It wasn't your first time taking care of war survivors, but putting your feet inside the district's central hospital and seeing all those poor souls made your heart sink in your chest. The atmosphere was heavy, especially since the other nurses who were with you saw no reason to care for and treat eldians.

What was the purpose of the war? This? More blood and hatred?

You were in charge of caring for the patients in ward B. After a long day cleaning your patients' psychological and physical wounds, you felt relief when you reached the last one.

"Mr. Kruger" was what the chart said and notes below about his amnesia, left eye, and leg.

"Good night, Mr. Kruger"

"Good night, nurse"

"You can call me by my name," You said, pointing to the badge on your chest. "We're going to see each other a lot from now on"

He looked at your face and then at your arm, noticing the lack of the armband.

"You are marleyan" he stated

"Yes, I am" You pulled up a stool to sit "Have you had any pain in your left eye or in your leg?"

"No, nurs-" he interrupted himself and looked at your badge before completing the sentence with your name.

"That's good. Please look at my index finger"

You moved your finger from side to side to test his reflexes.

“I'll need to change the bandages on your leg to make sure it is healing well, and the next week, we will look at your eye ”

He nodded, and you bent down to undo the bandages wrapped around the man's leg. To your surprise, there were no scars or even stitch marks.

"You must have an incredible body, Mr. Kruger" you exclaimed, touching his knee looking for any signs of injury "It's almost as if it's regenerating"

"It would be incredible if that were possible"

"Yes of course! It's just my imagination"

Carefully, you bandaged his leg again. Since he said that he would feel better even if he didn't need to. Of all your patients that day, the man with the long brown hair seemed to have something different about him. He was not in paranoia or outlined any kind of stress, but probably thanks to his amnesia.

You helped him sit down, undress for the bath, sit in the wheelchair, and waited at the door until he was finished to help him get dressed again.

That was your first night with Eren Kruger, one very similar to that of the other patients.

The week dragged on at the Central Hospital of Liberio. In the afternoon, it was time to take the most mentally stable patients for a walk around, and as the days passed and repeated, the more you watched Kruger.

Even during the afternoon hours, he did not walk around like the rest. Unlike other patients with amnesia, he didn't even try to search for a loved one or recover some memory. He was unusual, and you were curious.

Every day, you went to his room to perform the same procedure.

"Good night, Mr. Kruger" You greeted him after entering his room, and he responded by saying your name.

"You look tired"

"Is that your way of telling me that I've been prettier?"

You placed his dinner tray on the small, simple table there and sat next to him on the bed.

"No, just tired, but still beautiful"

You smiled at him more than you would like.

"I will test your reflexes as usual and then I will assist you in the shower as usual"

He was always your last patience. He was the best in health and with whom you talked the most.

"Aren't you going to let me see your eye yet?" You asked, helping him to take off his coat.

"You said it wasn’t necessary since I didn’t feel pain"

You shrugged. He probably didn't want to show it because of vanity.

"It is a pity. I really like the color ”

"Why you say that?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm an eldian, but unlike other nurses, you don't seem to be disgusted by your work"

"Why would I, Mr. Kruger?" You asked, unbuttoning the last button on his shirt "I'm sure the blood runs here" You said, placing a hand on his chest "It's the same one that runs here" and completed placing his hand on your chest "We are the same ”

You didn't notice, but Eren Kruger frowned before pulling your hand away abruptly. At that moment, you thought you were over the line. A silence fell over the two of you after such a simple sentence. That was how the night ended, with you two in silence.

Honestly, Eren Kruger had not been offended by your words but intimidated. The last thing he expected to hear from a marleyan was something like that. Eren was intimidated by your kindness.

Kruger was not just your patient. After that few months, he was your friend as well. It was not easy for you to establish a relationship with the other nurses. The marleyan who came with you avoided you because they saw the way you treated the eldians. The eldian nurses did not know what to expect from you, so they kept their distance. He was the only person you could talk to. After what happened, you were afraid that you had ruined things between you. So in an attempt to apologize, the next day, you took a chessboard to entertain him. It was a simple thing, but it was what the hospital protocol allowed.

When Eren saw you enter the bedroom door carrying the dinner as usual and a box, he thanked you for the poor lighting, or maybe you'd have noticed the blush that appeared on his cheeks when he heard you saying "Good night"

He answered you, but he did not look you in the eye. You left the tray of food on the bed and dragged the wooden table in the room to the front of him.

"I thought we could play a little bit" You suggested showing the box.

"It would be a great idea"

You set up the board on the table after dinner, and in silence, you started playing. You were surprised at how strategist the man in front of you proved to be and even more when he won the game.

“I bet you were a great soldier in the war. Why no one comes after you?"

He remained silent, and you sighed.

“I know I made you uncomfortable yesterday, but it was not my intention, Mr. Kruger. I hope you can forgive me ”

Eren looked at you and blinked a few times.

"You didn't ... You didn't do anything wrong" He ran a hand through his hair "I didn't expect to find someone like you in a place like this"

"Well, I didn't expect to find someone like you either"

The silence fell over you two again, but this time in a cozy way.

"Let me prepare you for your bath"

You took off his coat, unbuttoned his shirt, helped him remove his pants, and sit in the wheelchair before taking you to the bathroom.

Everything as on other days, just like with the other patients. So why did your heartbeat so fast against your chest?

"Good night, Mr. Kruger," You said about to leave the room.

"Eren"

"Hm?"

"Please call me Eren"

"Yes...Good night, Eren"

Your foolish heart was beating so fast that you could barely sleep through the night. The blood hit the walls, reverberating his name in your head, and the same happened with the eldian lying in his bed meters from you.

Time passed quietly, with the two of you talking during the afternoon outings and his daily checks. Eren loved those moments. Being with you brought back a part of him that he thought he lost some time ago.

You made that place without colors, the closest thing he could call home.

You liked how things were between you, but you were afraid.

Nothing good would come from a relationship that shouldn't exist, and you would be sent back to your city soon. So there was nothing to do about it. You thought Eren Kruger would become a good memory, and maybe he would have if you hadn't noticed him handing a letter to Falco.

The moment you saw him hand the paper over to the boy, it all made sense. So he didn't try to find out who he was because he already knew, but why stay in the hospital? Why pretend amnesia? Why send a letter if he didn't seem to want to come back?

When you went to take his dinner that night, you were nervous. How to start a conversation like this? Should you even bring it up?

"Are you okay?" He asked, taking you out of your daydreams

"Yes, just thinking about something"

"About what?" He asked, taking a tablespoon to his mouth

You swallowed hard and, without further ado, asked:

"You don't really have amnesia, do you?" Eren stopped the spoon in his mouth and waited for you to continue. “I saw you handing a letter to that boy, Falco. You wouldn’t send letters if you didn’t remember who you are ”

He put the silverware on a plate and stared at you.

"And what are you going to do about it?"

"What I'm going to do…? What do you think I'm going to do? Tell the hospital board? ” You sat next to him “It hurts me that you lose faith in our friendship for so little. I would never do that, Eren. If you don't want to go back… ”You took his hand in yours“ You must have your reasons. I just don't want you to have to lie to me ”

"I wish I didn't have to lie to you, too"

He intertwined your fingers with his own and patted the back of your hand briefly. You were close enough for your legs to touch each other.

Eren raised his free hand to your chin and lifted it towards his face. The months of tension between the two of you succumbed to a calm, slow, almost frightened kiss.

"Sorry. I shouldn't… ”

Eren stumbled over the words. He didn't want to force himself on you.

You knew how wrong it was. Ethically and logically, but none of that seemed to matter. So, you kissed him back.

"I want to kiss you too, Eren" You whispered between the kiss

Eren smiled without breaking the contact. How long had he been since he smiled like that?

The kiss started a spark that turned into a fire of desire. None of you dared to stop or even wanted to. Eren kissed you as if it were the first and last time as if he was afraid to let you go. His hands went down to your back, undoing the apron knot, and yours did the same with the shirt buttons. You removed the usual coat he was wearing and right after the shirt. He pulled you into his lap, squeezing your waist. You had to hold back a groan as you felt his erection against your clothed core.

Eren put his hands on the front buttons of your dress and looked at your eyes carefully. Those jade eyes were looking for your permission. You kissed him again, touched by his concern, and got up from his lap.

You undid the buttons on your dress and took off your underwear, leaving you naked. That was the consent he was looking for.

"You're..." He searched for words looking at your face, at your body "Beautiful"

This time, you saw him blush. Eren had never seen a naked woman, more than that, he was sure he had never met a woman like you.

He undid his belt, and you helped him take off his pants before accepting the invitation to return to his lap. To be honest, he didn't quite know what to do, and if you think he was flushed before, you should have seen his face lying on your shoulder when he said:

"I don't know what to do exactly ..."

So you took one of his hands and guided it to the middle of your legs.

"Here" He pressed his finger above your clit "Move your finger in circles"

He did as you said, and he had to restrain himself not to cum at the exact moment you moaned.

"Keep...Agh...Doing it, Eren"

Eren felt an adrenaline rush up his spine and his cock throb when he heard you say his name like that. He wanted more. See more, learn your reactions, and listen to you say his name like this more often.

That night left a mark on you two forever. There was no turning back. Not because of sex, but because you fell in love with Eren, and he fell in love with you long before that.

Thinking about the afterward was something you avoided, but when your period didn't come a second time. You knew it was necessary.

You planned to apply for permanent leave to work as a nurse in the Liberio District and somehow get Eren out of the hospital. You could live in a more remote part of the district without attracting attention and, if necessary, would use one of the eldian armbands. That way, you would only be more of a couple among many. After all, the government would not bother to investigate the life of a nurse.

You were happy despite everything, but that was until you told him.

"Are you ... What?"

"I’m pregnant"

"Is it mine?"

You opened your eyes wide when you heard the question.

"Excuse me? What are you trying to say? ” You controlled yourself not to raise the voice “Of course it’s yours” You completed feeling a lump forming in your throat.

“That wasn’t part of the plan,” He said more to himself than you“You were not part of the plan” Eren rested his hands on his knees and lowered his head.

You wanted to cry. Not for him, but for trusting him, for making plans for the two of you.

“So this is how it will be? God ... I'm such an idiot ”

Eren looked at your figure with slumped shoulders and closed countenance. He hated himself for causing your smile to end. He hated himself for being not the man you deserved and needed, but he wouldn't leave you by yourself.

Even though he couldn't be that man.

"Don’t go out of hospital tonight" He said breaking the silence. "Under no circumstances go to the speech today"

"What? Why?"

"Promise me you won't, please"

"Eren, you are not making sense"

"Please" He begged you seriously

"Okay"

He told you to wait on the hospital terrace. He would come to pick you up, and once again, you trusted him.

It was difficult to watch the confusion that happened in the hospital. Countless wounded and killed. You never forgot the horror stuck in those people's eyes, and doing nothing to help make you feel guilty.

Is that why he told you not to go? If so, how did he know what was going to happen? Why did he know?

You were about to come down to help when a short-haired woman appeared on the terrace saying your name. If you were confused before by not knowing what was going on, now even more.

"Who are you?"

"Eren asked me to pick you up"

"He told me he would come"

She held out her hand with a tender face that you couldn't decipher.

“You will understand everything. Now come on, we don’t have much time to reach others ”

The wind was blowing hard on the terrace. You thought about refusing, going down, and helping the patients. At that time, you were no longer sure if you knew who Eren Kruger, the father of your child, was. You wouldn't know if it was for fear of what could happen if you stayed or for the love you felt for Eren, but you accepted her hand.

You climbed on the airship with that woman. The pairs of eyes there were looking at you with as much curiosity as you to them. You hated the feeling of being the only one in the dark, the only one not knowing what was going on.

"We'd better keep an eye on her"

"She doesn't know anything" You heard Eren say without looking at you "She wasn't part of the plan"

"No? So why did you ask to pick her up? ” Asked the man without taking his eyes off you

"She’s pregnant with my child"

All the heads in the room turned to you.

"It seems that conspiring was not the only thing he did during that time"

You had so many questions, but there was no time for any of them right now.

Finding out that Eren Kruger was actually Eren Jaeger was like a punch in the gut. The army agreed to accommodate you, and in return, Eren would be imprisoned since he could leave if he wanted to. The woman who came to pick you up on the terrace answered all your questions and explained the current situation. You didn't know what to say, just that you needed to talk to him.

It took a while, but after so much insisting, the survey corps commander agreed to let the two of you talk under her supervision.

Eren was sitting on the bed when you stopped in front of the cell with Hange at your side. He didn't look at you, and he didn't think he could do it too.

"Eren?" You called him, putting your face between the bars "What does all this mean?" You asked even though he knew the answer "You lied to me"

You didn't want to cry, but how could you not? Especially being more sensitive because of the pregnancy.

"Eren ... why?" A sob cut you off “Now I don't know who you are, I can't go home, and is that all you have to say? Nothing? Eren! ” You hit the bars causing a loud bang.

“Try to stay calm. You can't be exasperated because of the baby, ”said Hange, touching your shoulder.

Eren got up from the bed and went to you. You looked deep into his green eyes, now understanding why he never let you take off the bandages, why he didn't have scars.

“I didn't lie about everything” He rested his forehead over yours on the bars “I know this is hard to believe right now, but I'm not going to leave you by yourself. That’s why I asked Mikasa to pick you up ”

For an instant, you saw the Eren who spent his days in the hospital there in front of you. He wiped away your tears and whispered an apology accompanied by your name before kissing your forehead and apologizing again.

It was unfair how your heart sped at the mere touch of him. Foolish heart.

Falling in love and having a child never crossed Eren's mind when he went to Marley. He didn't feel like he deserved you and even less your love. Several times he wanted to tell you everything, but how?

Hange looked at her watch and said that the time was over. Eren took your cheeks in his hands and whispered looking into your eyes.

“I wasn't lying when I said I loved you. I love you"

Hange took you back to your room and asked if you would accept that she questioned you about your time with Eren. She had waited until the moment she judged it right due to your pregnancy. As a way to repay all her kindness you accepted.

Eren could have said he wouldn't leave you alone, but while you were telling what happened during that time in a country you didn't know, in a room that wasn't yours and pregnant with a man you weren't sure you knew more about, you felt more alone than ever.

#Eren Yaegar #eren x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren yaeger x reader #eren yaeger imagine #eren x y/n #reiner x reader #reiner braun x reader #reiner x y/n #reiner imagine #reiner headcanons #eren headcanons #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin x reader #aot x reader #aot x you #aot imagines

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strawberryerwin · 3 years ago

Photo

erwin smith x reader bakery/library au + non-canon, post-war - part 3

cw: slight angst bc nightmare, fluff other than that / afab!reader

part 1 | part 2 | part 4

as you locked the door behind you, Erwin waited patiently at the sidewalk. as you walked side by side, you felt the need to eliminate the silence in the air.

"how long have you lived here?", you asked intently. you wanted to confirm what you already knew.

"since the war ended.", he stated. just like everyone else here, you thought. "i was a commander in the survey corps.", he went on.

this did not take you by surprise. the tall, blond man, though quiet in his interactions, looked as though he had the ability to command not only the attention of a room but an entire city if he pleased. "ah, i see. I'm sorry.", you spoke quietly. you weren't sure what to say.

"thanks."

"you probably got to see some beautiful land outside the walls before many other people did.", you replied, in an attempt to lighten the mood. "i couldn't believe all of the foliage around when i came here. i had never seen bright colors of flowers like here before, inside the walls."

"indeed, i did.", Erwin hummed. "i never gave it much thought until people started telling me things of similar sentiment. do you have a garden?"

"oh, no. i live in a loft above the newspaper printer's office.", you shrugged. "maybe one day. i'd like to supply some of my own produce for the bakery. i do have some heirloom tomatoes planted on my windowsill, though." you pointed up ahead. "there is my stop."

"i’m better with animals than plants.", he said. "i have a horse in the stables across town." he didn't want to leave you, but you had just met. it would be rude to invite myself in, he thought. how can i see her again, and soon? "do you have plans tomorrow? would you like to join me in a walk to the stables, then we could have lunch?" was that too much?

"oh, umm... sure! that works. just come up to my door, whenever you're ready." you brushed your hair behind your ears in a nervous attempt to keep your hands busy.

he smiled and nodded. "i'll see you tomorrow, Miss Y/N."

"be safe on your way, Erwin. see you tomorrow."

a knock on your door, just as you spread jam onto your bagel. you didn't think he would be here this early. you quickly pulled out another plate with a bagel before running to the door.

"good morning!", you exclaimed as you gestured for Erwin to come in. "i have a bagel for you, if you'd like."

"did you make it?", he pried as he followed you down the small hallway into the kitchen nook. he felt like a giant in your small living quarters.

"i did.", you laughed, looking back at him over your shoulder. "i even made the jam."

"oh! then I must. What a wonderful morning.", he jested.

your black kitty crept around the corner of the living room where he could catch a glimpse of your guest. "you have a friend?", Erwin asked.

"oh! Pepper, yes. he's a fine companion. i couldn't stand to live alone." you didn't think about what you said.

"it's not so bad...", Erwin trailed. "he is pretty, though. it does tempt me. my horse doesn't fit in my apartment, unfortunately."

you smirked at his little joke. "i've never ridden a horse before. i'm not sure I've ever even touched one."

"well, we shall change that soon enough.", he said, followed by the last bite of your offering.

you kept closer to Erwin's side today than you did on your walk home yesterday. it was about a half hour leisurely walk to the stables. he made small talk about the library, apologizing more than once about how he came into the bakery so often but never introduced himself. you could tell he was a lonely man who needed someone to be around rather than just a character in his everyday life. he needed a relationship with a solid foundation, something he could come back to, whether it be platonic or romantic. it seemed as if he had no one.

until, he mentioned someone as you neared the stable. "My friend, from the survey corps, has a horse here as well. i spoke to him early this morning. if you want to learn to ride, he doesn't mind if you ride his horse."

"you must have spoke very highly of me to this friend.", you teased.

for the first time, Erwin laughed heartily. it was a deep, loud laugh. heartwarming, in fact. "you know, maybe i did. he knows of you. he has come to your shop before. short, dark headed. big scar on his face?" you noticed Erwin's speech become less formal and more causal the longer you talked.

"oh! i know him. he likes my scones.", you realized, remembering the somber man coming into your store a few times. "short? he's taller than me!"

"Y/N, he may be taller than you, but imagine a man his size fighting in the war. i don't know if any other scouts that were of his stature." Erwin shook his head at the memory as he pushed the door of the stable open and allowed you to walk through in front of him.

the manure smell was borderline overwhelming. Erwin chuckled as the sudden neighing of a horse caused you to jump a little. "the white one is mine. the black one next door is yours for the day. mine is named Sugar. Levi's horse is named Ember." you thought it was cute that Erwin's horse was named Sugar. "here," he said as he handed you a bristle brush. "brush him to get him used to you.", he instructed, gesturing to Ember.

the horse snorted and shook its mane as you brushed its coat. You were amazed at the way it's skin rippled at your touch. "hello, Ember.", you spoke softly to the gentle giant. "i am no horse expert, but i suspect you and your friend are well taken care of."

"i come every day either before or after i leave the library. but Levi, he spends a lot of time with Ember. he probably takes care of most of these horses here more than their owners do."

"whose horses are these?", you asked.

"mostly people who had military affiliation, or something similar, like myself.", Erwin answered.

you watched intently as Erwin saddled Sugar, and then Ember. he pulled a step stool over from the outside of the stable door to help you get on the horse. "let's see here... step up here, hold onto me as you get on. i'll help you up." You weren't sure if you should feel uncomfortable or not touching his armless shoulder for support, but he didn't seem to mind so you didn't give it much thought. his hand on your back kept you steady as you swung your leg over the horse.

beside you, Erwin mounted his horse with ease. "just gently hold the reigns. Ember will know the follow me."

Erwin and Sugar guided you out in to a small pasture behind the stables, edging on the border of town. "what's say an hour or so of some light riding, then we can put them up? nothing too wild for your first time." you nodded in agreement. Sugar and Ember enjoyed munching on grass and hay, trotting lightly beside one another as Erwin guided them around the pasture. he told you about how Ember's owner, Levi, had worked with Erwin in the survey corps and now lived across the hall from him. however, they didn't hang out, per say. Erwin said there wasn't anything nice for them to talk about, but sometimes they enjoyed each other's company. "Unlike most people, he doesn't seem to want or care for having a friend.", Erwin spoke of Levi. "It worries me to some extent."

you hummed in response. "i think everyone needs a friend. i guess you are his friend, but he doesn't utilize you as he should, because what's the use in venting to someone who was there for all the bad stuff?"

"i suppose that may be the case. anyhow, i can't force anything upon him. i hope one day he comes out of his shell. maybe one day you'll have your own horse and he can come with us.", Erwin winked.

"you wouldn't let me ride with you and Sugar?", you asked teasingly.

Erwin scoffed. "that is for Sugar to decide." the snow white horse snorted, earning a giggle from both you and Erwin.

Erwin lead you into a familiar, quaint bistro style restaurant for lunch. you had met the owner a few times, as you had met most of the other food establishment owners through a social held at the market when the town was still new and blossoming. everyone had discussed how owning a restaurant or shop would be difficult in the first year or so of living in Harmon, as the economy had to build itself up. it was in fact rough, but you all had managed to survive the first stride as everyone found a place for themselves in this new society. the owner was a peculiar woman, with an upbeat and loud personality. you knew she ran a tight ship at her restaurant. she had high expectations of her cooks and servers.

Erwin waved at the woman as she spotted him from across the room. she excitedly came over to the table you had been seated at.

"Erwin!", she exclaimed. "and Y/N! Y/N, it's been so long since i last saw you. we need to organize another get together soon!" then she looked at Erwin. "how do you know each other?" it sounded like more of a demand than a question.

Erwin cleared his throat to speak, but you spoke before he could. "he's my most loyal customer." you smiled cheekily at Hange as she raised her eyebrows.

"oh my! well, of course! the man has always had a sweet tooth, for as long as I can remember!" she threw her hands up. "any time we came back from a mission, he always wanted to have a treat before he could have some rest. do you know how many pans of sweet bread I have made for him?"

"yes, Hange, quite a few. but, they didn't compete with anything at Honey Bear's.", Erwin raised his brows at her. "stick to the savories."

"that's why I am the best sandwich shop in Harmon." she crossed her arms. "bring basket of muffins over next week and your meals are on the house."

"you got it. If you have time, we can discuss getting together with some of the other owners soon." as Hange left your table after taking your orders, you looked to Erwin for some explanation.

"she was a captain under me in survey corps, and i named her as my successor when i lost my arm. despite her quirkiness, she is quite intelligent. Hange actually performed many of the experiments and studies that led to what we know about titans today."

"oh, wow. i had no idea. i met her just after i opened Honey Bear's. she was actually the one who invited me to the owner's guild. when the market first started running, she and i would host a table together, until i decided to stop working on mondays."

before meeting you, Erwin came and went as he pleased. he didn't have any set schedule or routine to follow. the more time he spent around you, he wanted to arrange his day-to-day life to maximize the time he had to spend with you. he started coming to the bakery in the morning, as you opened. you gave him whatever you had made first, telling him that now he was your "sampler." some mornings, he came into the kitchen and watched as you and your employees mixed up the first batches of the day. on one particular morning, Madeline tried to teach both of you how to pour the perfect crepe into the pan. you couldn't help but feel a tinge of jealousy as Erwin was instantly better at it than yourself. other days, he sat in the dining room with a book. Erwin worked at the library as you ran the bakery, and at the end of your work day, he pulled your chalkboard inside for you and watched as you wrote out tomorrow's menu before the two of you went to the stables to check on Sugar. Levi typically took Sugar and Ember out to graze earlier in the day while Erwin was at work, so every other day, you and Erwin would take Sugar out for a ride. every evening, he fell asleep thinking about the feeling of your arms around his waist, your head resting on his back as you discussed your day with one another.

Erwin knew he was in love when, after about 2 months of this routine, he awoke in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, his chest heaving. it wasn't uncommon for Erwin to suffer from nightmares inspired by the events of the war. images of titans grabbing ahold of him, teasingly licking at his flesh before devouring him, the scenes of the limbs of his soldiers everywhere he turned.

but this one was different. he walked into the bakery, but no one was there. he called your name. the door was unlocked, so you must be here, somewhere. he walked behind the counter and into the kitchen, to find a 3 meter titan crouched over your already lifeless body, slowing consuming you. it wasn't like the other dreams where Erwin couldn't defeat the titans. he quickly slashed the nape of its neck, but it didn't matter. you were gone. he was too late. he watched as your blood continued to puddle underneath his shoes, steam bathing his skin.

it was all he could think about. he couldn't go back to sleep. he knew you were fine. after all, it was just a dream. he wanted to go to your apartment right then, in the middle of the night, to see for himself. to see that you were peacefully asleep in your bed with Pepper curled at your feet.

later that morning, when Erwin met you at the bakery, you could tell he was tired. you sat with him as he ate one of the giant chocolate muffins you had made. "you look sleepy."

"i didn't sleep well last night."

"is something on your mind?", you asked.

"there's a reunion of sorts coming up, for former members of the scout regimen. it's going to be at the banquet hall next month. former scouts living on other islands have been invited as well, so i suspect it is going to be a big deal and i should make an appearance. i'd like for you to go with me." you looked up at Erwin, your mouth slightly open in surprise. "will you? i'll take you to buy a gown next week."

you shook your head. "yes, i'll go. but there's no need for you to buy a dress for me. i'm sure i have something to wear..."

"but I want to.", he smiled softly.

"okay, then... i guess it's a date."

Erwin smiled, showing you his perfect teeth. "thank you. we can go to the boutiques next monday when you're off. i'm going to have my suit tailored to be a little more one-armed man friendly."

you giggled at him. "that's what you were losing sleep over?"

#attack on titan fic #erwin smith x reader #erwin smith #aot erwin #aot fic #aot fanfic #aot series #attack on titan fanfic

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cvtqr · 4 years ago

Text

365

pairings; eren jaeger x reader [+ jean x reader]

notes; this was also posted on my ao3, which has the same username as this one [cvtqr]

“i never loved you y/n.”

“WHAT DON’T YOU GET? I NEVER LOVED YOU SO STOP COMING HERE Y/N.”

he slammed the door in your face. you didn't know why he was treating you this way. you've been with him every step of the road. there was no way he couldn't love you. you didn't want to leave. you didn't want to stop coming to see him. so you didn't stop. you weren't going to leave. you sunk down onto the concrete in front of his door.

on the other side eren was doing the same thing, just sitting against the door. he didn't want to see you. he didn't want to give into you. if he hurt you now he wouldn't hurt you in 365 days. but seeing your face was so hard. he never wanted to scream at you and slam the door in your face. right when you showed up the only thing he wanted to do was pull you into his arms. he wanted to feel your warmth. but he can't. he knew you were like a drug, he couldn't get enough. he also knew that he could never be with you again. no. not after 365 days. he could never give you a family, the life you deserved. his biggest mistake was falling in love with you. it was impossible to give you everything he wanted to. he never even knew when it happened. when you walked with him in the snow during training? when you saved him countless times? your soft, sweet smile? he needed you, but you didn't need him.

you ended up falling asleep on eren’s front porch, waking up the next morning from the bright sun shining directly onto your face. and the blonde boy standing in front of you.

“so he won't talk to you either hm? you should go, you don't deserve that y/n. he hasn't talked to anyone in days, im just leaving a bag for him to make sure he's taking care of himself and all.”

you nodded and stood up, walking down the step on eren’s porch.

“the captain wants to see you too. i think he wants you and jean doing field work today.”

“thanks” you mumbled out before going to meet up with levi.

armin was right, you and jean were out on the field today. jean secretly cared about you and he hated seeing you like this. the bright cheerful girl, now not saying a word. you lost the glow in your eyes. as the sun set, you and jean were about done. riding your horses back to the stables, jean took a turn.

“where are you going.”

“come on, y/n.”

sighing, you turned the direction of your horse, following jean.

he stopped over the lake, the sun setting above you two.

“i used to come here with marco all the time.”

you looked up and over at jean.

“s-sorry, lets go.”

“wait jean.- i, i miss him too.”

“do you maybe wanna get dinner in town? we haven't ate in awhile and you seem very down today.”

“i don't know jean...”

“oh come on, my treat.”

knowing you couldn't go home and cook with eren like you used to do, you accepted his offer.

279 days

the time for you and jean to do field work all day came around again. after, you found yourself in town with him again. over the past 86 days you found yourself going to eren’s less and less. after hanging out with jean all day for the first time, you realized that you both had a lot in common. jean lost someone and even though eren was still here, you lost him. you now only go there about once a week with armin, just to leave a bag with a note on his doorstep. he completely ghosted everyone. he hasn't talked to anyone in almost 100 days. you were the last person he spoke to.

back to today, you found your smile slowly coming back. but were you over eren? no. not at all. jean just simply made you somewhat happy. out in town the both of you decided to try food from a bunch of carts. that was until you got to a small band playing music. jean pulled you close to him and started slowly swaying the both of you together. jean knew you were probably wishing he was eren, but that was ok with him. he had you in his arms.

what you didn't know, eren was sitting on a nearby bench. from a far, he was un recognizable. his hair draped over his shoulders and he hasn't shaved in months. he looked like shit. he questioned his decision of pushing everyone away. should he have spent the 365 days with you? no. no no no no no, he made the right choice. now he would just have to watch your life with jean. even though it hurt, it hurt like hell, this is what he wanted for you.

123 days

wow, its been awhile since you've seen eren. you stopped going there. you didn't feel like need. its been way over 200 days. you had jean now. you were so close, yet so far to being over eren. but you didn't want to hurt jean by going to see your ex-lover. jean didn't bring up marco, you didn't bring up eren. you haven't had as much time with jean that you had with eren, but you were slowly falling in love with him.

just the little things.

4 days

letters. eren had written a letter to each and every one of his friends, but no. he only needed you to see yours. he ripped up the rest, but put yours into a plain white envelope, leaving it on his kitchen table. he needed to think about a lot of things in the next four days.

1 day

eren took all his decorations down. all the pictures of you two that he's been looking at for the past 364 days. the only thing left was the letter, still set on his counter.

2 days after

y/n. open in five years. i understand if you want to throw this out and forget about me, but give it a chance.

that's what you read on the envelope left on eren’s counter.

you and close friends cleaned out eren’s house, collecting his personal belongings.

saying the day was gloomy is being generous. the next few years were gloomy.

1825 days after

“marco kirstein! get back here right now or im getting your father.”

you never imagined yourself chasing after a three year old toddler while your husband drank coffee on the balcony five years later.

1826 days later

“have fun on your camping trip boys. connie loose my child when jean goes on that interview and ill kill you.”

“mommy stop worrying! uncle connie is a great babysitter!”

6 hours later

you un crumpled the old envelope sitting in a box of belongings.

hey sugar! so i see you didn't forget about me. if im right you have started a family? or that's what i hope at least...

those last 365 days were painful as all hell. sorry for bringing up old memories but i just want to clear things up with you. i lied the last time i saw you. i love you. i loved you so much. that's why i needed to let go. I've been watching you and jean over the past few months. you seem happy. stay that way please. i fucking cannot stand jean but please don't let go of him. if you're reading this and you did, i hope your children get/got your genes so they don't have horse faces.

i don't even know why im writing this, i guess i just wanted to say i had to let go so you wouldn't get hurt once i died. i thought it would be less painful for you that way. im so sorry if i hurt you at first. so, so sorry. at least you had jean. someone, just like i wanted you too.

im not sure if i regret my decision. actually scrap that i shouldn't have wrote that because i don't have an eraser. i don't regret it. but i just wanted to let you know that i loved you over those last 365 days. tell the gang i said hey.

i love you, my atlantis.

-eren

#aot #attack on titan #eren jaeger #eren yaegar #eren x reader #eren angst #aot angst #attack on titan angst #eren jaeger x reader #eren yeager x reader #aot smut #attack on titan x reader #eren smut #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirschtien #marco bodt

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twentytarot · 4 years ago

Photo

wow, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? sorry that i kinda dropped off the map there, but you know how it is. life calls when it does. anyway, today we’re doing a reading on your next five years. for this reading in particular, if you’re drawn to more than one group then i’d suggest you read them both, because 5 years is a long time and it’s definitely possible for bits and pieces of your prediction to be scattered around this reading. devise a strategy that works for you even, for example, if i’m drawn to pile 1 first and then 4, maybe the beginning of pile 1 is more relevant to me but the end of pile 4 will resonate more. enough of my rambling, on to the reading!

*year 1 means from now till year from now, year 2 1-2 years from now, and etc.

PILE ONE: GLASS PANELS

overall, the next five years has you waiting for the right moment to begin living. currently you are stuck in a place where you’ve been hurt and betrayed— yet you cannot leave yet. you’re probably trying to plan a way out, but perhaps, surrounded by the unbreakable glass panels in your life, you’ve come to the same conclusion as me: it’s not going to be any time soon. for the next two years, you will have no way out. however, you will become much more resilient so that 3 years from now, you have the power and strength to break out of your current situation and build your dream life. it seems that there will be a lot of movement leading up to this event; perhaps you will be moving house and leaving most of the people around you now behind. whatever the case, in year 3, you will be building a new foundation for yourself. if there are responsibilities and duties you cannot fully leave behind from your past, you will learn to balance them in year 4. in year 5, you’re building up your finances, having found your footing at home and at work. finally, five years from now, you will finally feel like you are in a place where you can feel stable and secure financially and emotionally.

in other words, the main message for you is “one step at a time”. you will have the life you want, but it will take a while. for now, you will have to heal your inner wounds and learn to brave the coldest of storms on your own. then, the next step will be to gain the courage to forge ahead and create a foundation that will allow you to build your life the way you want, away from the toxic people that you have had to rely on. once you have found your own independent footing, then the next step will be to go after you want, especially in career and life purpose. don’t be afraid if things start coming down, almost no one goes through their 20s and 30s without having to destroy something fundamental. finally, once you have learned to juggle all of this alone, the final piece will fall into place, and that is the rest of the world. friends, a new family, and days that make you so excited you want to sleep early so that the sun rises faster tomorrow. this is a long journey, but i’m confident it’s worth it. you got this! :)

PILE TWO: APPLE PASTRIES

for the next five years, you will ride a wave that brings you to the top of the world, and then you’ll prepare for the next chapter in life. we start off in year 1 with you being a little unsure of what it is you want to do long-term— perhaps you’re aware that it’s about time you start settling on a path with how responsibilities are piling up, but you’re also rather reluctant to let go of all your ideas and inspiration. that’s alright, you don’t have to decide just yet. in year 2, things get a little more exciting in the personal department: you might meet your future spouse, get engaged, get married, or even have a kid, depending on where you are in personal life right now. i’m leaning towards you being pretty young and just beginning to entertain the idea of marrying your special someone. whether it’s navigating a new relationship or wedding planning, you’ll be pretty caught up in it in year 2, and your work life will naturally fall into the background. not for long, though, because someone enters your life in year 3 and they don’t have your best interests in mind. they’re not out to get you, but they also don’t care if they had to step on you to get higher. this person brings you a whole lot of clarity on your life purpose and career, though, and so you transform your life quite rapidly, especially in view of the fact that you’re getting older and it can’t be helped, you’re going to have to start making some commitments. the transition is very successful and in year 4 you reap all the benefits. you are like water, you balance the push and pull effortlessly like the waves, you bring energy wherever you go, you complete the cycle and finish what you start. you’re in a position to give advice now, and people begin to look up to you. life’s... well, it’s actually pretty good.

year 5 is whole new chapter, likely on patience. the bliss of making it through one chapter in life never lasts long enough, and it is time for your life to move on. take care of yourself and always be open to growth. take the people that will betray you as lessons on how to better watch out for and protect yourself. wield the sword of clarity with conviction. before you know it, everything else will follow.

PILE THREE: FLAT WHITE

your next five years is about breaking free. you are often harshly judged by the people around you, and it’s like you can never catch a break. you wished for a peaceful getaway, and your wish is only partially granted. let me stop for a second and explain. for example, if you’re harshly judged at work, you might be able to get out of working with the particular team that makes your life difficult, but you won’t be able to leave the company entirely. something like that. you’ll have to do more than what you’re doing right now to truly get out of this situation. thankfully, towards the end of year 2, your heart hardens. enough is enough, you decide, and with your sharpened sword, you go after what you want.

the battle in year 3 is ugly. you say things you wish you didn’t have to, you do things in ways that keep you up at night. sometimes we don’t have a choice, though, because it was the only way you would be able to take what is yours and run. just in time, too, because in year 4, you will realise the stability you thought you were being offered was as strong as a house of cards. by defying expectations and going out on your own, you have nudged this house and cause it to topple. you get to watch from somewhere a little further away, but it’s still hard to deal with the questioning, the anxiety, the wondering whether you shouldn’t have left in the first place. no, darling, of course you should have left. year 5 is a year filled with so much more stability and happiness, it’s like you can’t recognise the person you used to be, the world you used to live in. if you thought that you will never truly make it out of there, my cards are here to tell you that there is a day where you will stop wanting to cry before you go to sleep, there is a day where the demons will shut up for good. so don’t give up! you’ll make it out of there if it’s the last thing you do, because that’s you: strong, persistent, and forever optimistic in your heart. and this personality of yours is what makes you lucky. when you want something with all of your heart, the universe can’t help but want to give it to you.

PILE FOUR: NIGHT

pile four, your reading is all about finding love! things are about to slow down for you now, and it looks like it will continue to be slow for awhile. and honestly, for you i don’t think that’s a bad thing at all, seeing as you are just coming out of having had to make difficult choices and work hard for what you want. for the next year or so, you’ll simply be continuing what you’ve started and letting the payoff roll in. in year 2, however, you’ll begin to look around at your life again and find out what is it you want next. at that point, perhaps you will come to the conclusion that it is love you’re looking for. or maybe it’s just excitement, since you’re pretty collected yourself. you’re the kind to meditate and sleep on things before you decide, and the person you meet in year 3 is decisively... not that kind of person. they’re hardworking, smart, funny and honest, but they’re also rather blunt and impatient. they’ll jump from one thing to the next without thought; they’ll argue with you through the walls of your room is it means they’ll win. you may wonder if this person is going to force you become their parent. well, no. this person has entered your life to show you that the world has so much more to offer if your just take the leap and jump. this person is here to show you that sometimes, you don’t sleep on decisions. you just go for it. once you begin to see the charm of this person, they will light up your life as a friend, a listening ear, then a worthy partner, then a worthy opponent, and then finally, in year 4... a worthy soulmate. and you will realise that taking risks is actually not as scary as it seemed, because this person is right next to you, and will be there to help you pick up the pieces should you fall. this might be a new feeling for you, because you come from a background of having to watch your own back all the time. being able to take calculated risks is what pushes one up from being a prince to a king. it pushes you and your life purpose to its full potential, and even if the ride of taking risks and forging ahead is rocky with this person in year 5, you will come out hardships closer than ever, stronger than ever.

#pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a pile #pick a pile reading #tarot reading #free tarot reading

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pirate-au · 3 years ago

Text

A Pirate's Life for a Prince (Part 6)

Summary: Roman was a dashing Captain, content with his exciting life out at sea, diving head first into adventure both on and off land. He wouldn't give up his life for anything, and yet he found himself...lacking something. He was never sure what.

When he meets Virgil, a seemingly common traveler in an old tavern, that lacking feeling in his chest goes away for the first time in a long while. So surely there's no harm in offering the stranger and his friend a ride, right?

Notes: Thank you again to @cheshirevalentine for helping with editing and the descriptions of sword fighting, They've got a side blog for this au, go check out @actorau

TW: a little blood and injury and really gay pining

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5

Virgil had no idea what he was supposed to be doing.

Roman was frowning at him, watching Virgil with scrutinizing eyes before sheathing his own sword at his side.

“Have you never held a sword before?” he asked, his hands on his hips. “It’s like you’re afraid of it.”

Virgil huffed, lowering the sword that was steadily becoming embarrassingly heavy to his side, cheeks burning red with shame under Roman's judgment. “I don’t know what you think I was doing in that palace, but it wasn’t sword fighting.”

“But I thought you were raised as a prince.”

Virgil had asked before, once or twice when he was much younger, but it had been shut down almost immediately, and the request had never even made it to his Uncle. He would never be the dashing Prince who charged into battle, brandishing a sword like it was nothing. That wasn’t the kind of prince they wanted him to be.

“Whatever.” Virgil would really rather not discuss this right now, especially not here. “Why are we even doing this?”

“Because you have to learn to defend yourself,” Roman said simply, moving around Virgil to check his stance. “I won’t always be here to save the day, you know. Now, lift your sword again. I’ll fix your hold.”

Roman was behind him, making Virgil’s shoulders tense instinctively, but he forced himself to relax and do what he was told.

“Come on,” Roman urged as Virgil lifted the sword. “I promise this will help you feel more secure.”

Virgil rolled his eyes when Roman moved back around, mostly to cover up how uneasy and inadequate he felt. He wasn't exactly excited to show off how weak he was to a pirate Captain who had already seen him cry twice.

“Running away has worked out pretty well so far,” Virgil said, but kept the sword lifted all the same. “I’m not gonna be any good at this.”

“You don't know that," Roman said quietly, moving beside Virgil. He moved to help him hold the sword and hesitated, awkwardly maneuvering his hands as if he wasn't sure how to place them around Virgil's. “Uh… my apologies. Is it alright if I touch you?”

Virgil only hesitated a second, forcibly shoving down the panic rising against his will. It was just Roman, and Roman had made it clear that he wouldn’t hurt him. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

“Alright then.” Roman moved slowly, clearly trying not to spook Virgil, placing himself behind the prince once again and gently wrapping his warm hands around Virgil’s own. The weight of the sword lifted considerably with his help. “The way I was taught was rather… untraditional. It’s easier to teach like this.”

Virgil nodded, trying to focus on keeping his breathing steady. “So… where did you learn to sword fight?”

“My brother and I learned a long time ago,” Roman said, curt in the way that told Virgil the Captain would prefer to discuss anything else. “Anyways. I’ll teach you to block and parry first.”

Virgil wanted to apologize for prying, but it was already hard enough to form words with the feeling of Roman’s hands encasing his own, his chest rising and falling against Virgil’s back. He had the sudden, ridiculous urge to close his eyes and lean back against the steady warmth.

“Uh, ok,” he said instead, forcing himself to focus. “Just… be patient with me I guess. I’m kind of a slow learner, so… sorry in advance.”

“Nonsense,” the Captain chided. “You’ll do fine.”

Virgil nodded, his breathing still a bit uneven as he let Roman move his hands to the Prince’s wrists. He guided his arms, first to slowly swing up to block at his left shoulder, and then down.

"When you block, you want to make sure your assailant isn't pushing you back,” he said. “On a ship, that could be the difference between being cast overboard or staying dry." He dropped a hand to pat Virgil's left hip. "It's best to step forward after that, preferably with your non-dominant leg. It will give you a stable base to attack on, so make sure your weight is centered."

Virgil was doing his absolute best to listen to what Roman was saying, but to be fair he was pretty sure he was going to suck at this whether he could comprehend the instructions or not.

But Roman was still holding his hand, warm and strong, and when the Captain moved to touch his hip Virgil could only respond with a slightly panicked, "Okay."

“To attack,” Roman continued, his voice a gentle murmur in Virgil’s ear. “Take another step with your other leg and swing forward-” He stepped with Virgil, guiding their arms to swing at their invisible assailant. "Your sword is an extension of your arm. You don't want to overextend and throw yourself off balance, that will give your opponent a chance to swing at you. Now, back-” He stepped back, gently pulling Virgil with him. "Block, forward, attack, back."

Virgil couldn’t breathe, something he was unfortunately used to, but for once it didn’t feel like a bad thing.

The panic wasn't all consuming and cold, it was warm and it made him feel lightheaded and distant. Roman was up against him, guiding his movements, and although he knew he probably looked absolutely pathetic holding the sword, in the moment it felt like he could do anything.

Other than Patton, no one had ever been so gentle with him. It had been so long since he’d been touched without the intention to hurt.

“Once more,” Roman instructed. “Block, forward, attack, back. Look at you! You’re doing amazing already.”

Virgil’s face grew hot, chest light at the praise. It took him a moment to find his voice, choked and unsteady. “I… thank you.”

“Now we pick up the pace,” Roman said, slowly starting to increase their speed. “You’re doing so well. Just a bit faster now and then I’ll let you try it on your own.”

After a moment of the back and forth, the two almost dancing in the afternoon sun, Virgil closed his eyes for just a second, basking in the warm glow, the feeling of Roman’s hands over his, content and safe.

“Now,” Roman said softly. “Can you show me?”

Virgil’s eyes snapped open, reality slamming back into him as Roman stepped away and the sword momentarily wobbled in the air, the Prince struggling to keep it upright by himself.

“Uh, yeah. Sure.” He hesitated, face burning for an entirely new reason this time. God, he was so stupid. He could vaguely recall the movements, but… he'd just end up looking like an idiot if he tried it by himself. "Sorry, uh… could you let me watch you first? Sorry I'm just… kind of slow sometimes."

“You’re not slow,” Roman assured, sending Virgil a patient smile. “Some people are visual learners, it's only a matter of preference. I'm a kinesthetic learner, so I have to do it, rather than see it."

Virgil shrugged, still not fully convinced he wasn’t just stupid. “I guess.”

Roman unsheathed his own practice sword and lifted it, turning so he was parallel to where Virgil was standing, and began the back and forth.

“Block, forward, attack, back,” he said, repeating the motions twice, faster the second time. "Ideally, a fight isn't so tense and scripted. You have to learn to think on your feet. And always, always play dirty. A fair fight is sure to get you killed." He lowered his sword, facing Virgil with a smile. "Ready?"

Slightly stunned by how patient Roman was, Virgil nodded and took a shaky breath. The Captain’s patience was bound to run out soon if he didn’t hurry up and get this right.

“I’m ready.”

He began to copy Roman’s movements- block, forward, attack, back. He knew it looked clumsy and ridiculous, and not even close to what Roman was expecting. The sword still felt heavy and foreign in his hands, and he turned sheepishly to the Captain when he was finished, fully prepared to apologize for doing so poorly.

But Roman was smiling at him, wide and genuine. He sheathed his own sword again, placing his hands on his hips.

“You learn quickly!” he praised. “This particular style requires a lot of physical conditioning. Your abdomen, back, wrists, and hands all need conditioning if you're to properly hold your sword. Though, I'm sure we have a rapier around here somewhere that may better suit you."

Virgil furrowed his brow. “A rapier?”

“Something smaller,” Roman explained, eyes softening. “It might be a bit easier for you. Logan prefers lighter weapons, as well.”

“Oh,” Virgil said, arms already growing sore from the strain of the sword. “Maybe.”

“We’ll save that for later,” Roman said. “For now, I need you to take the rhythm you just learned, and I need you to forget it. Falling into a rhythm can mean spacing out, and without the utmost concentration, you're dead. Now! Make like you're going to attack me.”

Roman didn’t move, didn't even unsheathe his sword, and Virgil frowned when he just stood there, waiting expectantly.

“Uh… okay?” He cautiously positioned the sword again and pointed it at Roman, the Captain still unarmed. “Like this?”

Roman nodded, looking Virgil over carefully. "Widen your stance. For you… I think it's best to stave on the balls of your feet. I believe I've been teaching you how I was taught, and since our body types are so different..."

He trailed off, smiling dropping into a small frown, eyebrows drawn together as he studied Virgil’s stance.

"Don't focus so hard on grounding yourself,” Roman instructed. He finally took his blade out with a flourish, spinning it once before he widened his stance, holding his sword at the ready. "Attack me.”

“I- what?” Virgil wasn’t sure if he was more worried about hurting Roman, or Roman hurting him. The latter seemed more likely. “I’m not gonna… I can’t just start stabbing at you!”

“You can,” Roman declared, shifting eagerly on the balls of his feet. “That’s how you learn. I won’t bite, I promise. Now, attack me! If you hesitate in battle, your foe won’t hesitate to take your life.”

“I guess,” Virgil relented. “Okay.”

He pushed down the lingering uneasiness, both from the sight of a much larger man holding a sword in front of him, and the off chance that he might actually end up hurting the Captain. Virgil moved forward, still hesitant, moving to attack slowly with no real intent to hit.

Roman was silent and still, holding his sword at the ready. He stepped forward to intercept Virgil's blade, twisting his own to knock the handle out of Virgil's grip. His sword clattered to the ground between them and Roman took a step back.

“You can do better,” the Captain said. “We both saw it. Again.”

Virgil reached down to pick up the weapon off the ground, keeping his eyes on Roman and the weapon in his hand. "What if I… accidentally stab you?"

“I’ve been stabbed before,” Roman said, clearly biting back a rising smile. “And you’re a fragile ex-prince who’s never held a sword before. I’m not worried.”

Virgil scowled, hoping his embarrassed flush wasn't as obvious as it felt. He still hesitated, this time with a bit more force. “Well, if you’ve gotten stabbed clearly you can’t be that good.”

“Right, and clearly you’re so talented.” Roman parried this time, stepping forward to smack the blade back. “Again. Harder, this time. You’re not going to hurt me, Virgil.”

"What if I do?" Virgil shot back, unable to stop a smile as he attacked again, still keeping his movements a bit slow. "What will people say if you get stabbed by someone who’s never even held a sword?"

"That I was viciously attacked by a vengeful Prince and did nothing wrong," Roman huffed, smacking the blade away once more. "Faster. I can keep up."

"You sure?" Virgil asked, more teasing than anything as he finally let himself relax just a bit, moving forward to attack once again.

“Move faster and we’ll see.”

The friendly banter took some of the tension away, Virgil smiling despite himself, feeling lighter by the second.

Virgil's movements were still definitely a bit more frantic than they needed to be, shoulders tensing as he moved his sword up, glancing hopefully up at Roman when he blocked the attack.

“Good!” Roman said, beaming. “Try not to panic, it’ll make you lose focus. Try again.”

Right. Try not to panic. That was easier said than done, especially when it came to Virgil, who could never seem to react any other way.

But the praise made him feel lighter than ever, and he smiled with a tiny nod before stepping back to try again.

“You’re doing good. Keep it up, don’t stop-” Roman parried and returned the next blow. “Pick up the speed. Push me back!”

Virgil managed to keep his movements a little less panicked this time, taking deep breaths like Patton had taught him and moved to attack again, faster this time as instructed.

"You sure you can keep up, Captain?" he teased with confidence he didn't feel in the slightest, smiling with his eyes still on the swords.

To his relief Roman’s smile only grew, the Captain taking another step forward to block again. “Eyes on me. Watch the weapons, but if you can see where I'm looking you can see where I'm attacking."

Virgil managed not to completely freak out when he blocked Roman’s next attack, still a bit more tense than he knew the Captain would have liked.

It was almost impossible to keep his eyes on Roman, cheeks growing hot whenever the Captain met his eyes, forcing himself to avert his gaze.

Virgil really did not need to be distracted by the blush spreading across his cheeks and the butterflies in his stomach as he moved to attack again.

Roman laughed, Virgil’s eyes lighting up when he nearly lowered his sword before he could block Virgil’s attack. “Come on handsome, eyes up here.”

“I’m trying!”

Roman took another step forward, swiping down towards Virgil’s leg. “When you can’t block, move!”

Virgil just barely managed to scramble out of the blade's way, and he was sure if Roman had moved any faster he would have lost a leg.

“Jesus!” His face was burning red now, both from the teasing and his own sloppy moves. “Are you trying to kill me?”

Roman's grin only grew as he took a step back, spinning his sword. "No, I'm trying to prepare you. Distractions happen. Now come on beautiful, one more time."

Oh, this was so not fair. Virgil’s blush depended, but he forced himself not to look away this time when he attacked. “Careful, or I’m actually going to stab you.”

“I’ve got the experience, darling,” Roman bragged, though he barely got his sword up in time to block Virgil’s strike. “You can’t hurt me.”

Virgil laughed, ignoring the way his cheeks burned at the nickname. He was going to die here. “Whatever you say, Captain.”

Virgil had no idea how long they went on like this for, time nothing but a distant blur, overshadowed by the warm excitement bubbling in his chest. His cheeks burned bright when he eventually managed to start meeting Roman’s eyes, the Captain sending him a teasing smile.

He should have noticed Roman had gotten distracted, should have realized he’d started moving just a bit slower than he had been when they first started.

But he didn’t, and Roman’s sword didn’t move up to block Virgil's next attack.

Roman gasped when the blade cut into his bicep, ripping through the cloth and drawing blood immediately, and the Captain quickly smacked the blade away with the end of his own sword.

"Holy shit!" Virgil dropped the sword without thinking, wincing when it clattered to the ground. He moved towards Roman, stopping in his tracks when he saw how much blood there was. "I… shit, Roman I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to, I- I wasn't paying attention I'm so sorry!"

Roman looked back up at Virgil, raising an eyebrow at the Prince’s panic.

“I stand corrected,” he said, voice more awed than annoyed or angry. “It turns out you can stab me. Well done.”

“Well done?” Virgil echoed. “I hurt you!”

“It’s fine, Virgil. I’m barely bleeding. I wasn’t paying attention, this is just the consequence.” He looked back to his wound, lifting his arm to inspect it. “Would you mind grabbing Logan for me, though? He should be up on the bridge.”

Virgil nodded and scrambled back, carefully stepping over the swords, grateful for the excuse to get away. It at least meant Roman wasn't angry enough to lash out.

Unless that was Logan's job.

Virgil’s head was spinning and his hands were shaking, but he forced himself to keep going, rushing to the bridge.

The relief was almost crushing when he saw Patton, leaned up against the wall as he chatted with Logan, the two of them lost in quiet conversation. Virgil hadn’t been sure he could handle being alone with Logan, especially when it ran the risk of making him angry.

“Virgil?” Patton called, concern rising as soon as he saw the young Prince. “What’s wrong, kiddo?”

“I…” Virgil hesitated, eyes glued to Logan. “Roman he- he got hurt. With his sword, it… it was my fault and- and he asked for you. I’m… I’m sorry, I—”

Logan was already starting forward with a sigh, freezing when Virgil flinched back at the sudden movement, arms wrapped protectively around himself, eyes flying instinctively to Patton.

“I’m going to go check on Roman,” Logan explained, keeping his voice low. “I’m not angry with you. Whatever happened was clearly an accident.”

Virgil nodded, still a bit frantic and shaky, stepping aside to let Logan through. Patton moved to follow, pausing to place a gentle hand on Virgil’s hunched shoulder.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly, the words meant just for the two of them. “Are you hurt anywhere?”

Virgil shook his head, grateful beyond words Patton had decided to stay. “I’m fine I just… I- I didn’t mean to hurt him we were just—”

“I know, honey.” Pat squeezed his shoulder, sending a reassuring smile. “Nobody’s gonna hurt you, V. Come on, let’s go see if they need any help.”

They followed Logan back to the deck where Roman was waiting, letting the first mate make a quick stop for a first-aid kit, and Virgil averted his gaze when Roman straightened up at their arrival.

“My valiant knight in black armor,” the Captain greeted, offering his bloody arm to Logan. “Hello, Logan. How has your day been?”

Logan sighed, carefully taking a hold of the injured arm and lowering himself to a crouch. “What on earth are you and Virgil doing?”

“I was teaching Virgil how to use a sword!” Roman announced, and he was beaming when Virgil risked a glance up. “Isn’t he doing great already? I didn’t think he could hit me at all, but here we are!”

Roman rocked back and forth as he talked, gesturing with his free hand, and Logan tightened his grip. “Stay still, please.”

It was clearly a pointless venture, Virgil hadn’t seen Roman sit still once since he’d come aboard, but the Captain nodded and settled for tapping his hands against the floor. He winced when Logan touched the wound but didn't shy away, letting a hissing breath of pain out.

“He’s doing great,” Roman declared again, leaning back slightly to look at Virgil. “You are, you know. This is good progress.”

Virgil tensed, warily glancing between Roman and Logan despite the fact that neither of them seemed inclined to chew him out or make a move to strike him just yet. “I stabbed you. I literally stabbed you!”

“You did!” Roman said, ecstatic. “That’s the whole point! You did it, you got me! And I’m barely even hurt, don’t worry about it.”

Logan sighed again, reaching with his free hand for the rest of the medical supplies as Roman's blood began to soak through the first rag. Virgil looked away, even as he blushed under Roman's praise.

"But I… you’re not mad?”

“Not at all,” Roman assured. “I told you to attack me, didn't I? Sometimes people get hurt when you spar, this was a learning opportunity!" He paused, glancing down at Logan. “I’m bleeding quite a lot, aren’t I? Should I be worried about that?”

“You will be fine,” Logan said, not looking up. “The cut is shallow. Virgil did not land a fatal blow, though I can imagine the temptation was there.”

It startled a laugh out of Virgil, and Roman gave an offended gasp. “He would never! He’s a very good friend, much more so than someone I know.”

“Stay still.”

Roman scowled at his first mate, then winced in pain as he continued to tend to the wound. “It really is okay, Virgil. I’ve been stabbed worse by far more terrible foes, I promise.”

“You seem to have a habit of getting stabbed,” Virgil said, voice still a bit shaky. He relaxed a little when Patton put a hand on his shoulder. “And here I thought you were a master.”

“Even masters occasionally get stabbed. This is nothing,” Roman boasted. “Do I need stitches, Lo? That part does hurt, and I’d recommend not watching if you don’t have a thick stomach.”

Virgil did feel a bit sick at the thought, though it was more the idea of the Captain being in pain because of him than the stitches. The blood didn't bother him all that much- he'd had to get Patton to patch him up like this plenty of times in the past.

“I’m fine,” he said. “I can stay if you need someone to hold your hand.”

It had been a joke, nothing more than teasing, and Virgil absolutely was not half hoping Roman would take him up on the offer.

But Roman grinned, something mischievous in his eyes. He lifted his free hand and wiggled his fingers at Virgil. “Well then you’d better come comfort me, Prince Dreary.”

Virgil was going to kill him. His face flushed again, cheeks on fire. He had no idea how Roman kept managing to fluster him like this, but he wasn’t about to give the Captain the satisfaction of seeing it.

He rolled his eyes as he stepped forward, effortlessly slipping his hand into Roman’s and smirking. “Better?”

“Much,” Roman hummed, and Virgil saw Logan roll his eyes. The Captain just smiled, his thumb stroking gentle lines along the back of Virgil’s hand. “Your hands are very small, you know. Soft, though.”

It was quiet musing, gentle and kind, but Virgil's chest squeezed painfully, suddenly very aware of how much smaller he was than the other three men on the deck, shame and anxiety rising to his throat.

“Yeah okay,” he muttered, gaze dropping back down to the floor. “Maybe your hands are just huge, Roman.”

“I’m not complaining,” Roman said, but his smile softened like he had picked up on Virgil’s discomfort. “They’re soft. Cold as hell, but that’s only fitting for Peter Deadpan, I suppose.”

Virgil scoffed, but his face felt warm, and his smile was quickly becoming more relaxed again. “Well, I didn’t grow up playing with swords like you did. Royal life is kinda boring compared to the life of a pirate.”

“I don’t know,” Roman mused, and he shared an odd look with his first mate. “Royal life can be exciting too. It’s just… a different kind of excitement.”

Logan snorted, peeling the blood soaked cloth away from dark skin. “You would know.”

Roman winced, squeezing Virgil’s hand. “That was years ago, Logan. It’s possible it’s gotten more exciting since then.”

“I’m sure.”

Wait, what?

Virgil didn’t get a chance to ask the questions on the tip of his tongue before Roman huffed, tilting his head to inspect what was left of the wound. “Are you almost done, oh gracious healer?”

“You don’t need stitches, Captain,” Logan said, unamused. “But you’re more than welcome to keep holding the Prince’s hand if you’d like.”

Roman just glared, clearly biting back a smile as Logan gathered up bandages from his first aid kit, still keeping a firm hold on Roman’s arm.

Virgil squeezed Roman’s hand without thinking, scrambling for the right words. “You… you were a royal?”

“A long time ago, yes.” Roman’s smile faded, his thumb going back to tracing soothing lines on Virgil’s hand before he could feel guilty for opening his mouth. “Far from here, I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t know of me.”

“What kingdom?”

“Lucoria,” Roman said softly. “It’s due East, months away. We’re far from it.”

Virgil nodded, fighting not to lose himself to the flood of memories as he thought back to the history practically forced down his throat since he was a child. He’d heard of Lucoria, could vaguely recall rumors and stories, but history had never really been his strong suit. He’d never really been interested in the past, anyway.

But he could see the tension Roman was failing to hide, and he quickly squeezed the Captain’s hand once more, offering what he hoped was a gentle smile

“I’m glad you got out,” Virgil said, eyes glued to Roman, unable to look away. “It doesn’t seem like you’d enjoy that life.”

Roman returned Virgil's smile easily, tilting his head. "Like I said, it’s a lot more free. It wasn’t… all my choice, but once you're out there's no way you can go back. Leaving was the best thing I could have done."

“Well… thank you,” Virgil said quietly, the rest of the world melting away for just a moment. “For letting me leave too.”

Roman’s eyes widened and his cheeks flushed, and for the first time since Virgil had met him, Roman was completely still. “Anything for you.”

For what felt like an eternity neither of them moved, everything almost magically quiet. And then Roman hissed in pain, whirling around and yanking on his injured arm, shattering the moment.

“Ow, you—”

“There you are, Captain,” Logan announced, ignoring Roman’s outburst and cutting the rest of the bandage. “Try to be more careful next time.”

Roman winced and pulled his arm away from Logan, scowling. Virgil glanced at Patton, the older man watching them all carefully, expression worried but guarded.

“Yes, yes,” Roman said, the Captain practically pouting. “We’ll be more careful.”

Virgil hesitated to let go of Roman’s hand, eyes now on his freshly bandaged arm. “I’m sorry, again. For hurting you.”

“It’s okay,” Roman assured. “Though, I do think it’s best that we stop for the day. But we can pick this up anytime.”

“Yeah,” Virgil agreed. Today had entailed more physical activity than he’d ever had in his life, his ribs and chest starting to ache now that the adrenaline was starting to fade. “Sounds good, Captain.”

Logan practically had to drag Roman away, guiding the Captain back to the bridge while Patton gently took Virgil by the shoulder and steered them both back to their quarters.

Virgil went willingly, leaning into Patton’s familiar touch, but it took a while for the pleasant warmth to disappear from Virgil’s cheeks.

And if he couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot for the rest of the afternoon, Patton was gracious enough not to point it out.

Taglist: @i-really-like-dragons @stitches-system @poettheythem @remy-the-lemon-berry @shrubs-and-bushes @i-sexually-identify-as-a-mistake @wordsmithandworm @the-dead-and-the-decaying @hope340 @winterwynd @thomas-sanders-tothe-standers @angstysunshine @sunshineandteddybears @pixelated-pineapple @fire-and-ash67 @blues-clues-oh-wait @shinekittenace @marrymebishop @all-panic-nodisco @ravenclawunicorn1 @someoneiwasnt @listenherebuddypal @aroace-energy @iinyxtello

#pirate au #sanders sides #virgil sanders #ts virgil #roman sanders #ts roman #logan sanders #ts logan #patton sanders #ts patton #sword tw #blood tw #injury tw #fanfiction #writing

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koulakoukoula2003 · 4 years ago

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Runaway Part 1 (Levi x Reader)

Pairing: Levi x Reader, Levi x You, Levi x y/n, Levi x OC

Trigger Warnings: Mention of Blood and Violence

Genre: fluffyyyyy flufffffffff

Summary: As a brilliant scientist of the Survey Corps -and a researching buddy of Hange's- you've started discovering things about the Titans that the government has tried so hard to keep in the dark. During the Uprising Arc, the MPs come after you and chase you down. Little do they know that you're Captain Levi's girlfriend and they'll have to go through him first if they wish to go after you.

Part 1 >>> Part 2

She knew it wasn’t Levi when a bullet came flying her way. (Y/n)’s reflexes kicked in. She jumped out of the way. She looked at the table where she had all her samples. Her eyes widened. No! There was no way she was going to let it all go to waste. She had to protect those samples. She had to protect her notebook and her research. It had all the answers. It had everything they needed.

(Y/n) saw two soldiers from the Military Police barging in with their rifles in their hands. She kicked her chair to their way. They moved out of the way and pointed their rifles at her. She heard footsteps from behind her and before she even knew it, a hand was around her neck from behind, choking her. (Y/n) gritted her teeth. Bastards.

She stepped on the man’s leg powerfully with her own. He winced. She elbowed him on the jaw and the other two started firing. She grabbed the man that she had elbowed and she used him to shield her body from the bullets. The man’s blood spilled on her clothes. Dammit. Her skirt was ruined.

“Just take her out already!” One of them shouted to the other, but before they had the chance to place down their guns and attack on hand-to-hand combat someone else attacked them from behind.

Levi’s punches and kicks were rough, fast, and precise. It only took a few of them for the MPs to fall down unconscious. (Y/n) let down the man that had been shot at many times only for Levi’s hand to find its way around her waist and pull her protectively against him. His eyes, wide in alarm, met her own.

“Those bastards didn’t hurt you, did they?!” Levi asked worriedly.

His thumb found her cheek making sure he had her attention. He was breathless. He must have been running. And, of course, he had been running. He had to find her as fast as possible. He had to keep her safe. Coming in Trost was incredibly foolish of her. Alas, he knew the importance of her research.

(Y/n) shook her head. She escaped from his arms and she started stuffing her samples back in her bag as hastily as she could, and most important of all, her notebook.

“We need to get you out of here,” Levi grabbed her hand and started dragging her away with him.

“Why would the MPs attack me?!” (Y/n) asked as they ran downstairs. His fingers were almost painfully tight around her own.

“Because you know things you’re not supposed to,” Levi answered but he heard footsteps.

He urged her to get into one of the many offices around the hall that they were now in. The offices were empty and dark. Night had finally fallen outside, but the halls had torches all around that were bringing enough light in the Survey Corps HQ. That office was empty and dark as well. They should be able to hide.

There were more MPs. Of course, they’d send an entire battalion for her. She was Captain Levi's childhood friend. She had survived living in the Underground. A talented Lieutenant of the Survey Corps. There’s no way merely three MPs would be enough to take her out. And Levi’s assumptions were correct. A hand was thrown around her protectively as he leaned and peeked through the keyhole.

“Do you think they got her?”

“I did hear a couple of shots, sir, but I’m not so sure,”

Levi was right. They were many. He could take them out on his own empty-handed and he wouldn’t break a sweat, but he had to take her out of there as fast as possible. He turned at (y/n). Her back pressed against the door. She tried to whisper something, but his fingers found her lips, sealing them back closed. They had reached the ground floor. They would be able to escape through the windows.

He nodded his head at the direction of the windows in the office and she nodded. If she didn’t know him as well as she did, he wouldn’t be able to tell her an entire plan through just one look. His fingers were still tight around her own and they approached the windows. Much to their luck, the stables were right beside that part of the building. He pulled the window open and he jumped out. She jumped out as well, careful not to make a sound. It wasn’t too high, but high enough to make her doubt herself.

But he caught her. Levi’s arms were tight around her, and he cursed when he realised that footsteps were once again approaching. Of course, they’d check the stables. It was still dark. There were no lights at the back of the building and anybody could grab a horse and sneak away.

Levi turned only to see that they were pretty damn close. There was no way they had enough time to grab a horse and start riding away without having the damn MPs chasing them. Maybe he’d have to fight after all. But (y/n) had a better idea in mind. Her hand found his shoulder, drawing his attention.

“Kiss me,”

Levi turned and looked at her confusedly. “(Y/n), this is no time for-”

But she grabbed his black jacket bringing him closer and before he had the chance to finish what he had to say, her lips crushed against his own and he instantly forgot what he was trying to say. She had never kissed him so ferociously before. Her tongue met the back of his throat and he groaned. Shit. He was beginning to catch up on what she was trying to do. But still, this was too risky and too exciting, but brilliant nonetheless.

His hand found her hip, settling a leg around his waist and he kissed her back just as ferociously as she did. He knocked her back against the brick wall. His fingers clutched in her thigh. Levi bit down on her lip and she let out the filthiest moan he had ever heard in his life. It made his blood go south. Fuck. If they kept this up, they’d be putting more than a show outside the freaking stables.

“Everything clear, officer?”

A superior’s voice came from behind and the officers found themselves unable to come up with a clear answer. All they had were two people making out at the back of the building and they doubted if the woman was (F/n) (L/n). (F/n) (L/n) should be on the run by now. These two were probably drunkards from a nearby inn and they had just ended up out there.

“Everything clear, sir!”

“Get your asses back here!”

“Yes, sir!”

The MPs left fast enough, but Levi wouldn’t stop kissing her until she actually pulled back. Her taste, still on his lips. His hands still too tight around her, but she still managed to get away. How could she always know how to escape his grasp? It frustrated him. She still caught his hand and guided him over to the stables to get a horse and ride away.

“Let’s go!” She whispered.

“R- Right,”

Compose yourself!

A/N: Lemme know what you guys think!!!! Lemme know if you liked it!!! I'll post a Part 2 soon!!!! Feel free to reblog and comment below 🥰

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #levi ackerman #leviackerman #snk #aot #fluff #levi x oc #levi x reader #levi x you #levi x y/n

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heyitsmerose · 4 years ago

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Letting Go

Pairing: Broken!Reader x Stranger!Yunho

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt Comfort

Word Count: 12.1k

Summary: You've never felt more down. Despite having a loving family and studying at a good school you still aren't happy. You may have many objective luxuries, but you don't have anyone to talk to. The stress from all around you is getting to you and you finally break. You can't take this anymore. Deciding to finally take matters into your own hands and end this for good, you go to your favourite bridge one last time to say your goodbyes to the world. Until someone stops you that is...

Warnings/Disclaimer: In no way do I mean to romanticise mental illness. Through this oneshot, I want to show depression and other mental heath issues for what they are. I will not sugar coat anything and will show them for how exhausting and painful they are. Again, I am not writing this to romanticise mental illness, rather provide comfort and create a safe space to talk about mental health. Remember, it's never too late to get help, and I'm always here for you. It can be as small as personally messaging me how you're feeling today, I'm here to listen :) This oneshot will obviously be talking about suicide, depression, obsession and mental health in general. If these topics trigger you, this oneshot may not be for you.

Suicide

Depression

Swearing

Mentions of Sexual Abuse

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Youtube Playlist

1:05 ───|────── 2:53

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*I've spent a few weeks on this, I'm sorry if there are spelling errors, I've read the entire thing maybe 5-6 times.

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Facing the window in front of you, you sighed. You felt numb. It was raining and was around 6 pm. It was cloudy outside and the rain made the sky a few shades darker than normal. One of your windows was opened and you could smell the rain. The earth smell that made you feel all giddy inside. Excitement used to bubble inside you whenever you recognized the familiar scent of the wet earth, it indicated that it was going to rain. You loved the rain. It felt so comforting and the sound of the raindrops calmed you. At least that's how it used to feel. Now, you feel numb. Unaware of your surroundings and unfazed by a natural phenomenon that once caused you joy.

You sighed looking outside. It was frustrating. The rain that once comforted you was now frustrating. The constant pitter-patter noises bothered you and you were unable to get anything done. You slammed the window shut with all the force you could muster and plopped yourself back on your chair, redirecting your attention to what was on the desk. Ahh right, you had homework to finish. The bright screen of your laptop burned your eyes and caused them to feel sore but you couldn't care less.

You had 2 essays due tomorrow and although that didn't sound like a lot it was just the tip of the iceberg. Not only did you have 2 essays to start (and finish on the same day), you also had an oral presentation you had to give tomorrow for your music class. You didn't have your presentation ready and you were presenting to over 50 other people.

You had everything you could have possibly wanted. Your parents were not too rich but you were quite well off with a duplex in a multi-story apartment. Your dad had a stable career and was the country manager of a company giving him a good amount of power. Your mother was a social butterfly and had many connections. They sent you to a private school and let you study what you wanted. Although you didn't have any close friends in school, you had a few people you sat with.

See? You had everything you could have possibly wanted but you were still miserable. You knew this wasn't normal. For the past few months, you felt numb. There wasn't a better word to describe it. You felt apathetic and unfazed by everything. You were slowly starting to lose interest in the things you once found thrilling and fun and felt disconnected from reality. Your own parents felt like strangers and you felt like you couldn't talk to them. In actuality, your parents were loving and provided you with everything you could have possibly wanted. They took really good care of you and regularly showed affection. They were also quite understanding and were easy-going and fun. The fact that your parents are so caring makes you feel all the more guilty about telling them. You can't tell anyone.

You huffed, running your hands through your hair roughly. You gripped the roots of your hair and began to feel it again. The feeling of darkness creeping into your mind.

"what's the point of this?"

"I want this to stop"

"When will it get better?"

"Does it ever get better?"

In all honesty, you felt hopeless. You had to begin and finish 2 whole essays and prepare your presentation. Listening to music, eating anything, or even taking a break were useless, they would just distract you. You chewed the end of your pencil enough to make the end of it dent. Your teeth hurt but you continued doing so. At least the physical pain would distract you from this crazy workload. Or so you thought... You began to type on your laptop. You were writing your mid-term paper and were given the freedom to pick whatever topic you wanted as long as you felt like it expressed your emotions.

You typed the first thing that came to mind.

"I want to escape. I keep wanting for this to stop, I keep expecting everything to get better. It never does. It's an endless cycle of work and just more work. I feel like a robot and in all honesty, the lack of emotion is the only thing I'm feeling"

Your face had a stoic expression as your fingers fluttered across the keyboard. The gentle noise of keys clicking was the only thing heard for another hour or so. You didn't take any breaks and just wanted to get it done. At this point, you didn't care if it was good or even decent, you just wanted to get it done. That was very unlike you though. You were no topper, but you considered yourself quite hardworking and diligent. You were slowly falling behind though, but you couldn't care less. You just wanted to get it over with.

In the essay you wrote, you didn't get too personal, you simply wrote about your feelings and personified them. You spoke about your feelings as if they were an obstacle in your way. Despite being quite specific, you made it seem as though you were not talking about yourself. You fixed up the grammar and printed out your paper, stapling it, ready to submit it tomorrow. You looked outside and by now it was way darker. It was around 8:30 and it was time for dinner.

You went downstairs to get your plate of dinner and greeted your mom.

"Y/n, you're finally here, I almost forgot you were even living in this house" She chuckled and your dad joined in. You didn't laugh though.

"Hey, cheer up, your mom was just kidding, is everything alright?" Your dad chimed in.

In all honesty, you knew your mom didn't mean it, she was just kidding, but mocking you for the amount of workload you had didn't seem right. The question by your dad, however, completely caught you off guard. In your heart, you knew you weren't. You noticed how you started drifting off and spacing out while someone was talking to you. You noticed how you stopped feeling joy and noticed how you never had time for anything but school. Your face was glued to the ground and you nodded. You didn't want to lie, but you couldn't help it. You'd feel guilty for possibly making them feel like it was their fault.

Your parents both just sighed and your mom held your hand. She brought you to sit at the dining table and looked at you with nothing but love in her eyes.

"Y/n... We know something is bothering you. You know you can tell us anything right?" Your mom asked as she cupped your cheek. You looked back up at her and saw both of your parents looking at you worriedly.

You could feel the back of your eyelids stinging. Your throat got dry and you felt a burning in your nose. This was it. This was your chance to finally tell them how you felt. You wanted to tell them everything. From how you felt incompetent, to the constant stress and pressure. You wanted to finally break down your walls and tell them that you lacked the feelings you felt before. But you couldn't. The lump in your throat grew and you felt the corners of your eyes getting wetter. You couldn't get any words out. You badly wanted to just let it all out, but the words were stuck in your throat.

You also couldn't just break down all of a sudden or they would get really worried. You couldn't let them watch you break down. You would never forgive yourself if they ever thought the way you were feeling was because of them.

You simply sucked in a deep breath of air and looked away before they noticed anything was wrong.

"I just have a lot of work. I have more to do though, so if you could excuse me." You said, your voice wavering as you walked away from them.

"What about your dinner?" Your mom asked pointing at the counter. You just sighed and picked up a plate of food. Your hands trembled and your lip quivered from the overwhelming situation and you rushed to your room as fast as you could. As soon as you left, your mom just sighed and looked at your dad and her face showed immense concern. He brought her into his warm embrace reassured her. You would come to them when the time was right. You would eventually tell them what was bothering you. right? Although you didn't want them to feel guilty, they already did.

The second you reached your room upstairs you locked the door behind you. You tossed the food into the dustbin near your desk and put the plate aside. You felt guilty. Every day your mom would make you a full course meal only for you to throw it away without even having a bite. You couldn't help it though. You had a lot of work to do and eating was not your first priority. Besides, you already had lunch. This was not a rare occurrence. You would usually skip breakfast and dinner, directly eating lunch. Your stomach growled but you couldn't care less.

You rushed into the bathroom in your room and closed the door behind you. Your back slid down the door and your hands flew to your face. You almost blew your cover. It was quite an overwhelming situation. Your hands covered your mouth as the first sob wracked through your body. You were lucky that you were in the bathroom, in your room, on the second floor, it was practically impossible for anyone to hear you.

Your hands moved up to your hair as you gripped it tightly in between your fingers. Slowly, more cries came out. The bathroom echoed with your sobs and heavy breathing. You tried muffling your cries to no avail. You sobbed loudly while you shoved your palm against your mouth trying to stop yourself from crying but nothing worked. You tried digging your fingernails into your palm to distract yourself from all the emotional pain with physical pain but it still didn't work.

You tried breathing steadily only to break out into sobs a few seconds later. You let out gut-wrenching sobs that had been bottled up for too long now. Your throat was raw and your nose was red.

"Make it stop" You whispered to yourself. Were you being dramatic? Were you overreacting? You didn't know and you didn't care. Your sobs slowly died down but your hands were still clamped over your mouth trying to get them to stop completely.

After a few minutes, you went to wash your face. You noticed your eyes were red and your hair was not in a bun anymore but was now all over the place. You sighed and washed your face with cold water trying to remove any traces of that sudden breakdown. Besides, you just wasted around 20 minutes of your time, crying when you could have been working and finishing off your other essay.

You didn't care to change your clothes and sat back on your desk. You sighed and looked out the window again. The rain had died down and there was now just a cool breeze. A layer of mist had collected after the rain coating the trees and plants outside. Despite living in the city, your window faced a big green space. In the mornings there were usually only around 3 people at max, making it quite empty. At night it was even more serene and lonely.

You drew shapes on your windows while trying to think of a topic to write your essay about. Your second essay was supposed to be an analysis report about any experiment of your choice.

You chose to write about the expectancy-value theory.

The Expectancy Value Theory suggests that motivation for a given behavior or action is determined by two factors: (i) expectancy, ie, how probable it is that a wanted (instrumental) outcome is achieved through the behavior or action; (ii) value, ie, how much the individual values the desired outcome.

You scoffed as you read it. Lies. All you've been taught to do is the work you've been given in school. You didn't want to do it. You didn't find it interesting and you couldn't care less about failing if it was up to you. The only reason you were working was because school wanted you to. If you had the option, you would gladly stop. So no, the expectancy-value theory, in your mind was not correct, since for some people, ie. you, motivation didn't come from yourself, rather it came in the form of forced requirements from others. Others have high expectations and expect good quality work from you, but if you were given the choice, you would take care of yourself instead of focussing so much on your studies. The expectancy theory, in your mind, as false as the only thing influencing you to work was other people forcing you.

You decided that was the perfect thesis for your essay and began to write. Although the point of the essay was to discuss the findings of the experiment, you went in a different direction. You wrote your entire essay about disproving that stupid experiment. You didn't discuss the data results but instead countered them with your own data. After another hour or so of aggressive typing and writing shit about Martin Fishbein, you decided you were finally done and decided to finish off your essay. You were happy with the way it turned out, although it was certainly not what was asked of you.

You wrapped up your essay by simply restating your points and you printed that too. By this point, it was already 11 pm and although you weren't sleepy, you just wanted to get this over with and rest. Your final task for tomorrow was your music presentation. All you had to do was pick your favorite classical piece and write a bit about it.

Music was one of the only hobbies you liked. You took pride in composing and making music, however, your school had ruined it for you. The only things they made you do were to analyze pieces of music and discuss the elements of music and their implication. You never got to actually compose or make your own music so you started to dread it as a subject too.

You picked up the first piece that came to mind. Dvorak's 'Humoresque'. Wow, how original, you thought. You began to listen to the piece and understand it better. As a kid, this used to be your favorite piece. Now? It just feels bland. It doesn't feel the way it used to. You began scribbling a few quick points about the song before beginning your presentation.

After taking notes, you finally began working on your presentation. In total, it took around 4 hours to finish and it was exactly 4 am. You sighed and uploaded your presentation to a pen drive before packing up your bag for school.

You had to be up for school by 7 anyway, so you'd get 2-3 hours of sleep at max. You hopped into bed as soon as you were done, not caring about putting anything back or even changing your clothes.

Unfortunately, unlike you hoped, you weren't able to fall asleep as soon as your head crashed onto the pillow. Instead, your mind preoccupied with other things was way too clouded with stressful thoughts to let you relax enough to fall asleep.

You tossed and turned in bed as your stomach growled. You huffed and tried blocking out the feeling. You didn't regret skipping dinner, it was necessary to finish off your work. You sighed and closed your eyes, trying to sleep. You lied for at least 10 minutes simply doing nothing. You tossed and turned trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in, but nothing worked. Your mind was simply too preoccupied to let you rest. you closed your eyes trying to calm yourself, only for your thoughts to go back to yesterday evening. You remembered the short conversation with your parents and how they seemed genuinely concerned. Did they know what was happening to you? They were your parents, after all, they probably figured something was wrong.

Thinking about your relationship with them, you felt guilty. You realized how your conversations were never longer than 5-10 minutes and you were always the one to cut them short. You didn't spend as much time with them as you used to, instead of dedicating all your time to studying.

All of a sudden, you remembered how they used to take care of you when you were a child. You remembered the first time they taught you how to ride a bike, your first day of school, and your middle school graduation. You can't remember the last time you all were together as a family and enjoyed yourselves. You were usually too busy and you regretted it.

Unconsciously, you sniffled, your eyes getting watery again. You huffed, roughly wiping and rubbing your eyes, embarrassed that all it took for you to get emotional was a few memories. You sighed shakily, trying to get your thoughts away from that, or else you knew you'd have another breakdown. Still not being able to fall asleep for another 45 minutes, you gave up.

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You got up and checked your phone, only to see that the time was 6:30 am. How perfect. You didn't bother combing your hair and tied a messy bun, too tired and too unbothered to even attempt to look decent. You hopped into the bathroom, brushing your teeth and grabbing a towel. You looked back into the mirror as you did yesterday during your mini breakdown. You had dark circles under your eyes, your eyes were red and your nose was tinted pink. You couldn't care less though.

You hopped into the shower and turned the temperature to max coldness, trying to wake yourself up to make yourself look less tired and well... less dead. You shivered at the temperature but bared it for the sake of looking slightly presentable and more awake.

You grabbed your soap and began to lather some on your hands. A few seconds later though, you felt a mild stinging sensation on both of your palms. You quickly washed away the soap as it was starting to burn and inspected your hands. Your palms. They were bruised and cut slightly. You stared at your palms and the crescent-shaped cuts on both of your palms. There were exactly 4 crescent-shaped cuts on each palm with a bunch of bruising around it. You realized it was from digging your fingernails into your palms yesterday. You did so in an attempt to stop crying but it didn't work. Oh well, now you have this to worry about as well, could your life get any worse? You made sure to carefully lather on the soap being wary of the cuts on your palms.

After you took a bath and got ready, you made sure to double-check that you had packed both your essays and the presentation pen drive. After confirming, you grabbed your backpack and hurried downstairs. Although you felt guilty for randomly rushing out during dinner, you didn't want to confront your parents. The nerves from your upcoming presentation were creeping up onto you and you were beyond terrified. You didn't feel hungry and didn't want any confrontation.

You quickly hurried down the stairs and avoided your parents' eyes. At this point, it had become regular for you to leave the house without a word. Your mom wouldn't bother too much since she knew you'd usually buy yourself something to eat at school itself. Or so she thought. It was a lie you told her a long time ago. Despite this, due to your unfinished conversation yesterday you feared they would come after you or confront you so you avoided them at all costs and rushed outside. Lucky for you, your parents didn't mind too much and carried on with what they were doing.

Outside, you noticed how the mist from yesterday had settled and was now fogging up the roads slightly. The mist collected on the grass on the side of the sidewalks in the form of dewdrops and you could smell the same earthy smell. You checked your phone once to get a glimpse of the time and realized you were quite early. Despite this, you still couldn't calm your nerves.

You gripped both straps of your backpack, not lifting your head. You stared at the ground kicking small pebbles along your way. The entire walk to school was quite uneventful and not too interesting. You mainly stayed on the same side of the sidewalk and luckily nothing came in your way. It was a 5-7 minute walk to school since you lived quite close to school and didn't see the point in wasting gas.

Once you reached your school, you tried ignoring everyone in your way, just trying to submit your essays. You were quite nervous and just wanted to remove some burden from your shoulders so submitting your essays early in the morning would be the best option. You rushed into the school building immediately setting your target on your science class that was a few floors up.

Fortunately, the hallways and stairways were mostly empty with just a few teachers and staff and maybe 5-7 students. That was one of the perks of being this early, you could get things done freely without being rushed by the students. You decided to stop at the principles office first, and then drop off your science essay.

You had to drop off your mid-term essay outside the principles office where a few teachers were collecting them. You made your way to the outside of your principal's office to drop off your paper. While walking there, the pace of your heart quickened, although you were simply dropping off your essay, something about being this close to the principles office didn't sit right with you. As you got closer you could feel the tingly feeling in your stomach, caused by the nerves. You carefully walked right in front of the drop-off desk and greeted the teacher. You were asked to fill in your name and the date dropped off, so you were handed a pen.

You were mindful not to let the pen put pressure against the cuts in your palm, but couldn't help but wince softly as the pen brushed against them as you picked it up. The teacher simply looked at you and you forced a smile. As soon as you dropped off your essay, you rushed away from there as soon as possible to a less scary area.

You made your way to your science class and dropped off your essay about expectancy value and took your seat in class. You were quite proud of the essay you wrote since you felt like you portrayed your opinion quite well. You also had science first period anyways, so you took your usual seat near the window in the front of the class and started to unpack.

You waited for at least 10 to 15 minutes before your science teacher came into class. He wasn't surprised that you were early since you usually came quite early. When you noticed he entered class, you immediately averted eye contact and looked somewhere else. In all honesty, your science teacher scared you.

All the other girls gushed over how he was just 5 or 6 years older than you and was handsome. You didn't see what they saw in him as you knew he had ulterior motives. You noticed the blatant sexism in class and how he always paid more attention to the girls, explaining it to them in detail while just brushing off the guys. You noticed how whenever everyone left class, he would stare at the exposed legs of the female students caused by the knee-length skirt that was a part of the school uniform. You noticed how he would favor the girls in general, letting them have their way, even letting them use their phones in class from time to time.

Although he hadn't made any advances, he was still really sleazy in general, and the very thought of him creeped you out. You didn't have too many personal encounters with him, just a few weird looks here and there, so you tried to avoid him as much as you could. When he noticed that you were not paying attention to him he sighed and collected his things. Usually, he would simply leave you alone, knowing school would start soon, but since the both of you were quite early he tried making conversation.

"Hey Y/n, Good morning!" He said all of a sudden. You whipped your head up, surprised that he was talking to you since he had never done so before.

"Hi" You hesitantly replied making sure to not seem too nervous, but also look a little busy so he would leave you alone.

"How's everything going? Are you feeling okay?" Although you knew he asked you that question simply wanting to ask you how you were feeling, you couldn't help but think to last night when you had a similar conversation with your parents.

"U-um, I'm fine, yeah, I'm good" You stuttered, diverting your attention elsewhere indicating you were done with the conversation.

He simply sighed and sat back down on top of his desk. He noticed that you had submitted your science essay/report and decided to read a bit of it before class started hopefully to give you someone on one feedback.

He picked up the paper and the rustling of the pages alerted you. You looked back at him only to notice that he was reading your essay. You felt nauseous and giddy all of a sudden. He wasn't supposed to be reading your essay now, especially in front of you. Your mouth got dry and you tried to calm yourself. You looked away so he wouldn't notice your stare as he continued reading for the next 2 or 3 minutes.

You looked back at him from time to time and noticed how his eyebrows were scrunched. You saw his somewhat disappointed expression and your stomach dropped. Was your essay not okay? Was he going to fail you? Your breaths got shallower and you looked around trying to calm yourself. All of a sudden, your science teacher spoke.

"Y/n, this was not what was asked of you" He stated matter-of-factly. You felt frustrated and embarrassed and your heart was in your throat. You tried clearing your throat to be able to speak. You looked back up at him, finally making eye contact, and gulped.

"I don't- I don't understand, I did what was-" You finally got out, only to be interrupted by him again.

"No, you didn't. It seems like you're disproving the experiment instead of proving it true. Meet me after class, we can discuss how to fix it." He stated, looking at you with a distressed smile. You forced back a smile and quickly looked away.

Eventually, students began to fill up the class and around 10 minutes after that dreadful conversation, the class had finally started. Unfortunately for you, you kept spacing out and couldn't pay attention to what was being taught due to your mind lingering on your stupid science essay. You began to think it was your fault. Maybe you hadn't studied hard enough? Maybe you just weren't smart enough? You put your head down and proceeded to bear the next 85 minutes or so, absentmindedly.

Luckily for you, your teacher hadn't called on you even once. He simply kept teaching and asking other students questions. You noticed how he tried to make jokes from time to time while all the girls giggled, and although your head was down, you knew he most likely had a smug smile on his face. You scoffed and kept getting lost in your thoughts. After what felt like an eternity, you finally through the class.

Now, it was time to finally confront your science teacher after class and you were not looking forward to it. You acted as if you were packing your bag so the other students wouldn't suspect anything. The last thing you wanted was for them to think you were spending time outside class with your science doing god knows what.

After everyone left, you sat back at your desk and waited for him to call on you, or notice you hoping, to get this over with as soon as possible. He grabbed your paper again and went through it again. You sighed and looked down. He slowly shifted his gaze towards you and ushered for you to grab a chair and sit next to his desk.

You huffed and picked up your chair dragging it to his desk. You plopped it down and took a seat on it. He sighed and brought his chair next to yours sitting on it as well. He began to explain that the experiment that he expected was a 'scientific' one with tangible results instead of a "social experiment" to quote directly. You huffed getting annoyed, how could he say that psychological studies weren't as valid? They were equally important. You sighed and looked away getting frustrated.

He wanted to explain it better, and went to get his pen that was next to you. Instead of asking you to give it to him, like a normal person, he rested his hand on your knee, reaching over to get it. On the outside, you kept your cool but inside you were freaking out. You glared daggers at his hand which was on your knee and didn't lift your gaze, as if staring at his hand was going to make him take it off.

Even after he reached over and got his pen, his hand was still on your thigh. He began to talk about some random experiment but you weren't paying attention. Why wasn't he taking his hand off you? You tried adjusting and moving your leg, crossing them over, to get him to let go, but his grip was firm.

"Hey, Y/n are you listening?" He clarified all of a sudden. You slowly pulled your gaze away from your knee and looked him dead in the eye. You glared at him, indicating you didn't want this. Despite this, he just didn't know when to stop, did he?

"Hey, calm down, what's wrong?" He asked sincerely. If only his actions reflected the same care, you knew he knew what he was doing. In an attempt to calm you down, his hand moved further up, grasping your thigh. You gasped and looked up at him with your mouth agape.

"Let go." You said sternly, you knew he was your teacher but he had to know his limits.

"Hey, I didn't mean it like that, it's alright," He said, the grip on your thigh becoming tighter. No, this was most definitely not okay. Due to the thin fabric of your school uniform skirt, you could feel his hand completely. You scrunched your eyebrows in disgust as you tried scooting backward. He got up though, towering over your shorter figure. You tried pulling away only for him to grip tighter.

"I didn't do anything" He stated firmly, grasping your wrist. He held your wrist tightly, not letting go. You cowered under him, still trying to pull yourself away.

"You don't want this?" He asked shamelessly. You shook your head rapidly, tears stinging in your eyes. He scoffed, roughly releasing your arm. You sighed, instantly getting as far away from him as possible, grabbing your backpack. You quickly shoved your remaining stationery in the first zip you found and threw your backpack over your shoulder, rushing out.

As you were about to leave though you heard him speak up again.

"Do not speak of this to anyone. I'm afraid I will have to fail you for this paper" He said trying to make you feel guilty. You couldn't care less though, without looking back, you nodded your head and left the class.

You cleared your throat as it had closed up. You realized you were crying in the middle of the hallway, so you quickly rushed to the toilet. Luckily, no one saw you, but you still wanted to get away, to freshen yourself up. You splashed water on your face trying to forget what happened in class a few minutes ago.

After that terrifying incident with your science teacher, the rest of the day was quite uneventful. You eventually got through your other subjects including music, and your presentation was a disaster. You weren't able to pay attention to what you were saying since your mind was still in different places. You stuttered your words and kept repeating the same thing.

Your peers realized you were distracted and your teacher knew you were bothered since your presentations were usually quite clear and informative. Thus, this time, they decided to let you off the hook. You were thankful that no one commented on that crappy presentation and simply went back to your seat.

Since you had music for the last period itself you were able to call it a day right after. You decided to skip your after-school commitment since you simply had too much on your mind.

After that shitty day, you decided to try to get your mind off of it by taking a walk in the green space near your apartment. You knew that it would mostly be empty right now as it was a weekday and because it was almost 4 pm, meaning it would most likely rain again.

You were still 5 minutes away from home, so you decided to walk home to the green space nearby. The entire walk there was quite silent. You took this time to try to process and understand the emotions you were feeling. It was getting fairly chilly due to the cold breeze, wind, and mist blowing. You folded both of your arms, rubbing them up and down, trying to get rid of the coldness.

The walk was quite short and you reached there in no time. Since the green area was right in front of your apartment, you could see your window from it. As soon as you reached, you saw your car leaving the apartment. Peeking around the corner, you realized it was your car. Your dad must have just left to go see your grandparents. You tried to hide a little, just in case. If your mom saw you here she would be disappointed that you lied to your dad about meeting your teacher after school.

You found a bench that faced away from your window just in case, so no one from your apartment could see your face. By the time, you found a good spot and settled and sat down, it was around 4:30 pm. You didn't really have a reason for coming to the park. You simply wanted to get your mind off of school, the workload, the stress, and what happened in the morning, so now that you were here, you didn't know what to do. Fortunately, tomorrow was slightly lighter. You didn't have any assessments due tomorrow, but you wanted to check in with your peers to ask them what you missed in the after-school session today and revise that before tomorrow.

Other than that though, you didn't know what to do. Due to this, you ended up spacing out. You simply sat on the bench rubbing your knees from the freezing wind from time to time just staring into the abyss. Quite honestly, it didn't feel forced, awkward or uncomfortable, it felt... calming. You felt a lot of comfort in the fact that you could just take time to process everything. Your way of doing that? Sitting out in the cold breeze, staring at nothing, mind blank. It didn't feel like a waste of time and you definitely didn't regret spending your time gazing at the nature.

Ever since you were young, you had a habit of counting the birds in trees or on the ground. Today was no different. Now that you were out in the nature, it made it easier to count them. You didn't do it for any particular reason, it was just a way of coping and de-stressing. You sat for a good 2 hours just observing everything around you and not doing anything. This included counting birds, staring into nothingness, daydreaming, and spacing out. You were suddenly interrupted by a honking car nearby.

You checked the time and realized it was 6 already. You freaked out and instantly got up, picking your bag. You didn't even realize it had started to drizzle and your sweater/school uniform started collecting water in the form of small droplets. You grabbed your bag, slinging it over your back, walking home, which was just a minute away, right opposite the park. You looked around making sure nobody saw you. Although you quite liked sitting out and simply doing nothing, you could understand how other people might have thought you were absolutely crazy for sitting out and doing nothing for 2 and a half hours.

You sighed looking around. You didn't want to go home just yet and didn't have anywhere else to go. The rain started getting a little heavier and you just gave up, looking up at the sky. Your clothes instantly clung to your figure and you shivered at the coldness.

You decided to take a walk around the nearby neighborhood since you didn't have anywhere else to go. This was actually quite rare. You usually never had the time to come outside and think about your life or reflect on anything as you were always cooped up in your bedroom doing work.

You huffed, rubbing your hands together. By now, your hair and clothes were drenched and your face was covered in water drops. You decided to visit the Mapo bridge to view the Han river from above. Ever since childhood, it was one of your favorite places as you were able to see the Han river below you, the Yeongdeungpo district to your left, and the Mapo district to your right. It had always been a calming sight.

It would take around 10-15 minutes to get there by car from your house but since you didn't really have access to a car right now, you had to walk. You knew it would take at least 45 minutes to get there but you still didn't care.

Unlike the two hours you spent at the park doing literally nothing, this felt different. You thought about the events happening in your life over the past few days, weeks, and months deciding to reflect on them during your journey.

You thought about your parents. How they always welcomed you with open arms while you often gave them the cold shoulder. You felt guilty that was for sure.

You thought about your friends. You had no close friends and the ones you had were slowly starting to drift away. You hadn't sat with them or even talked to them in over 2 weeks.

You thought about your studies. How you always stayed up late doing homework and taking notes while it never paid out. Instead, your crappy work just got you in more trouble.

You thought about the incident with your teacher today. How he touched you inappropriately and gripped your thigh. You shivered, pulling your skirt down slightly.

Unconsciously, tears had started to fall from your eyes. Luckily it was raining so nobody noticed anything too out of place. Despite this, you definitely got some weird stares. At first, the tears were silent. Your face was stoic while tears poured out of your eyes. Eventually though, recalling the painful memories and feelings was too much and your eyebrows furrowed. Your bottom lip trembled as you tried to contain your cries. It started off as light whimpers and occasional gasps.

You rubbed at your eyes and felt yourself losing control. Your cries got louder and you had to clasp a hand over your mouth. At this point, you didn't really care about anything else in the world and were overwhelmed by pain.

You threw your backpack onto some random chair god knows where, and continued walking. No without your backpack you felt freer, and both your hands flew to your face, as you walked in the cold rain.

Meanwhile, you had reached Mapo bridge and began to walk across the pedestrian section. Since it was raining, almost no one was on the bridge and you could finally let your emotions out freely. Your gasps got louder and you let out a strangled sob. Your hands flew to your face trying to cover it up, only for it to be followed by more cries.

As you walked to the middle of the bridge, stumbling across your steps not paying attention to what you were doing. You read the signs on the bridge.

"많이 힘들었구나" (It must be very hard)

"잘 지내지" (How are you)

"파란 하늘을 봐 봐" (Look at the blue sky)

They were mocking you. It was hard, you were not okay and nothing could make this pain better. Your eyes unconsciously closed your eyes and you let out a string of sobs. You choked on your tears, covering your face with your hands sobbing into them.

You rubbed at your eyes but nothing would stop this pain. You looked up at the Han river and thought for a moment. You looked down over the railing of the bridge and noticed the drop.

This was your chance. This was your chance to let go of all your pain and finally be free.

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Yunho was out with his friends. It was a rainy day and he had just gotten back from practice. On rainy days such as this one, he would often simply go on a drive with Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and Wooyoung. They were the three that enjoyed the rain and loved going on long drives. Their building was in Mapo but they decided to take a drive over to Yeongdeungpo since they had the rest of the day off.

The Mapo bridge was actually quite empty today. There weren't any cars or any people on the bridge. Since this was quite a rare occurrence, they decided to savor the moment and drive slowly enjoying their playlist while listening to the rain.

Wooyoung was driving while Seonghwa and Yunho were in the back, eating snacks and Hongjoong was picking a playlist. After popping a gummy bear in his mouth, Yunho decided to look outside and observe the Han river. All of a sudden though, around a hundred meters in front of their car near the left railing, a moving figure caught his eye. He was surprised that anyone would be out in the rain at this time. As they got slightly closer he realized they didn't have an umbrella either. As the car got even closer he realized that the figure was a girl. Your hair was drenched and so were your clothes. He stared at you weirdly wondering what on earth you were doing. You simply slid down the railing sitting on the floor, sobbing your eyes out and Yunho's eyes widened. He realized you were crying as your entire body was shaking with sobs and your hands were over your face.

He suddenly felt the urge to help and spoke up.

'Woo, slow the car for one second" He whispered softly and Wooyoung simply looked back and Yunho shrugging. He obliged and slowed down the speed of the car. Yunho continued to observe you. He didn't want to get out of the car since it was raining and he didn't have an umbrella but continued to watch you.

He watched the way your hands came up from your face and you gripped the roots of your hair. He watched how you tried to cover up your cries by cupping your hand over your mouth from time to time only for your to cry harder as your eyes squinted shut.

While they were driving past slowly, everyone was minding their own business while Yunho was still staring at you. Hongjoong had realized how Yunho was giggly before and then became silent all of a sudden and decided to check up on him. Hongjoong looked up at Yunho from the rear mirror, only to find his gaze locked on something outside. Hongjoong followed his gaze and found you as well. He saw that you were crying and stayed silent not knowing what to do.

Yunho was still looking at you and didn't notice how his leader was now also intrigued. He noticed how you roughly rubbed at your eyes getting up. He thought that you were done crying and that this was just a mini breakdown. Besides, everyone had bad days and maybe your way of letting it out was crying in the rain. Hongjoong averted his eyes as he saw you get up, giving you some privacy while Yunho kept his gaze locked on you.

He noticed how you were now facing the railing and looking out at the river. All of a sudden though, he saw you take off your shoes and a sudden wave of urgency washed over him.

"Stop the car!" He yelled at Wooyoung, while everyone in the car visibly flinched at his sudden voice, looking at him with concern. Wooyoung abruptly stopped the car, causing everyone to jerk slightly. The door immediately flew open and Yunho ran out of the car not caring whether his clothes got wet. Seonghwa had gasped and scooted to Yunho's side, peeking through, looking at what was going on.

Meanwhile, Yunho's intuition was correct. He knew something was wrong and the second you took off your shoes, he knew what you were trying to do. After you took off your shoes, you firmly grasped the railing of the bridge, hoisting yourself up, to sit on it. You looked around you, making sure no one was watching, although you didn't care at this point. Your mind was made up.

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You slowly scooted to the end of the railing, your hand tightly gripping the railing. You looked down, all that was below you was a 60-foot drop and lots of water. You sighed out shakily and looked back one last time. Your hands slowly let go and you breathed in a deep breath of air. You looked up at the sky and let out a wave of sobs before pushing yourself off the railing.

You expected to immediately feel the cold breeze hitting you as you fell over the bridge but you didn't. Instead, you felt a strong force pulling you backward.

The back of your head roughly collided with the concrete ground of the bridge and you let out a yelp. You looked around you processing your surroundings. You expected to be in the water by now, taking your final breaths. Instead, you were still back on the bridge and you fell back instead of forward.

You looked around suddenly, gripping the back of your head wanting to know who or what the fuck stopped you from doing so. Although you were mad you couldn't help but cry.

You sat up on the ground, knees close to your chest as you covered your hands and sobbed. You let out such painful cries, guttural noises, filled with pain. You cried, each cry letting out more sorrow than the last.

Little did you know, someone was scanning all your actions on the side, not knowing how to process the situation that just happened. He just witnessed someone who almost committed suicide.

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The second, he realized you took off your shoes, he knew that you were going to jump. It was a common occurrence, especially on this bridge. His intuition was proven correct when he saw you hoist yourself onto the railing. You were going to jump.

His body was moving on its own at that point and kicked the door open, rushing out as fast as possible. He didn't care about his clothes or his very expensive shoes, keeping only one goal in mind. As you scooted closer to the edge of the railing his heart stopped. He sprinted to the railing as fast as he could, almost slipping along the way. He roughly wrapped his big arms around your waist and he yanked you backward. He fell back onto the bridge and let go of your waist, catching his won fall, while you simply fell backward with force.

As you broke down in front of him, he felt a stinging in his heart. By now, Hongjoong and Seonghwa had also stepped out of the car with an umbrella, a little more cautious as they stood near the car itself, giving you a little space.

Yunho decided to slowly make a move to check up on you. He called out softly, but you didn't hear him.

"Excuse me?" He asked carefully, bottom lip caught in between his teeth from nervousness. You couldn't hear him over the rain and your sobs and frankly didn't care about anything else but the overwhelming pain in your heart.

He looked around nervously, before lifting a hand. He hesitantly brought it closer to you, doubting whether to touch you. He was wondering if you'd be comfortable, but he really wanted to help. He resorted to gently tapping your shoulder with his hands to alert you of his presence.

The second you felt his touch you immediately flinched, not noticing another person's presence. You looked up at him, before clasping your hand over your mouth. Although you knew that it was futile at this point, you still tried your best to cover up your sobs. You let out a string of sobs before squeezing your eyes shut and muttering apologies nonstop.

You kept stopping yourself with your cries but continued to whisper apologies. Yunho's eyes widened as he rapidly shook his head. Why on earth were you apologizing to him? As you looked up at him he noticed how strands of your wet hair clung to your face, your swollen and red eyes as well as your pink-tinted nose. He knew you must have been crying for a long time as your eyes reflected nothing but pain as they were completely bloodshot.

"Hey, hey, hey, I've got you" He whispered as he started patting your back. You nodded as you scooted closer. At this point, you didn't care how you were acting, simply trying to process what was happening. You pulled yourself together trying to get words out.

"May, I lean on you?" You softly whispered, voice breaking in the middle. Yunho hesitantly agreed, opening his arms up for you. You broke down again. You knew that you had been crying a lot that day, and maybe you were overreacting a bit, but in the heat of the moment, you simply couldn't stop.

You leaned into his warm chest taking in his musky scent that was slowly being washed away by the rain as he slowly crept a hand up to your back, rubbing it up and down.

"I'm here, I've got you, You're alright" He whispered into your hair. He knew you weren't in the right mind, but let you have your way just for now. You scrunched his now wet hoodie in your smaller fists as you tried to regain your composure.

You pulled away from a little embarrassed and looked away, knowing very well that he had already seen you, so there was no point. Yunho scooted further a little embarrassed too.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked softly and you shook your head, looking back up at him. You were surprised to see that his nose was slightly pink and his eyelashes were glistening in tears too. You felt guilty and apologized, a little embarrassed.

"I'm sorry for upsetting you," You said all of a sudden, and he shook his head rapidly.

"No, please don't apologize. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you must be in to want to take your own life." He whispered the last part, still not wanting to agitate you. You nodded and backed away. Yunho suddenly then realized the situation he was in, it was raining and the coldness was starting to get to him, he couldn't even imagine how much pain you must have been in to completely feel numb to it.

"It's raining and it's cold outside, do you want to sit inside our car, we have a heater" He interjected all of a sudden. You got nervous all of a sudden not knowing how to respond.

"I- I- can't-, I'm not sure" You stuttered your words and he noticed your discomfort, trying to divert the topic.

"Do you have anywhere else to go?" He asked looking at you sincerely and you shook your head. You couldn't go home like this. You averted your gaze while he tried to come up with a solution that you were comfortable with. All of a sudden though, you spoke up.

"Where are you going?" You asked and he tried to come up with a comforting answer real quick, one that would convince you to go with them.

"We are just heading to Yeongdeungpo, would you be interested in tagging along?" He asked sincerely. Your grandparents lived there, and you knew they would welcome you without asking questions, so you could go stay at theirs if you wanted to, so you nodded your head.

"Are you sure?" He confirmed with you and you nodded.

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It was safe to say the car ride there was anything but comfortable. You were in a car full of strangers wherein 2 of you were soaking wet.

"What on earth were you thinking?" One of them asked you all of a sudden, and you noticed the male who was with you earlier glared daggers back at them.

"I- um, I didn't- I'm not-" You kept fumbling over your words.

"She's not obligated to answer that." The man from earlier said sternly. You mumbled a thank you and continued to look outside. A few more minutes of silence passed as he tried to break the awkward silence.

"I never got your name by the way," He said all of a sudden, and without looking back you answered.

"Y/n," You said, cutting the conversation short. You weren't in the mood to talk. The other male nodded and introduced himself and the others.

"Well, I'm Yunho, this is Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and Wooyoung" He pointed at them but you didn't look at them, simply nodding, facing the other direction. Through the side mirror of the car, you noticed the boy in the front, the one that had slightly longer hair in the back, and was significantly shorter, glaring at Yunho. You assumed they were not comfortable introducing their identities just yet and you were okay with that.

Most of the car ride was quiet. You let out occasional sighs and whimpers due to the cold but there were no other comments or conversations.

Halfway through the ride though, the boy from earlier, the one who asked you what you were doing on the bridge, Seonghwa, spoke up again.

"Are you okay though?" He trailed off at the end. The other three boys looked at him with wide eyes, presumably glaring, telling him off, when you suddenly cut those thoughts off.

"I don't know" You answered sincerely. In all honestly, nobody had expected you to speak up, so when you did, they were all ears. You sighed before continuing.

"Everything is just so hard on me" You sighed out, as your voice broke at the end of the sentence. You decided that was enough or else you knew you wouldn't be able to stop if you said more. Although your answer was somewhat ambiguous, they didn't want to pressure you.

They all just nodded trying not to make it seem like a big issue. You noticed how Yunho sighed silently next to you before scooting closer to you. This didn't go unnoticed by you. His knees made contact with your fingers which were on either side of you, on the seat, and you looked back up at him questioningly.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? I'm all ears, you don't have to worry about feeling vulnerable. In all honesty, it's best to let your feelings out. You seem like the type to bottle everything up, but you clearly have a lot on your mind, you can tell me if you're comfortable." He whispered sincerely, only of you to hear. You were still looking into his eyes, and unconsciously tears started welling up in your eyes again at the sincerity and care in his voice. You had never told anyone about your problems and this was your chance. A tear slipped down your cheek and you roughly wiped at it, scoffing softly.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what's gotten into me today" You let out a soft breathy laugh, but the both of you knew it was not funny. He looked at you sternly, faux anger on his face as he felt frustrated that you were treating yourself this way, frustrated that you were reducing yourself to an emotionless robot.

"Don't say that. Emotions are what make you human, you don't need to feel embarrassed." He said and you nodded, slowly scooting closer to him. He didn't mind. Although the proximity was making him a little nervous, he was trying his best to comfort you.

He decided to test the waters by putting his arm around you. He slowly and slyly snaked his arm behind your back, since you were leaning forwards and slowly made contact with the small of your back. When he noticed that you were comfortable with it, he tried putting a little pressure to pull you closer and you went with the flow. You leaned into him, with your head on his shoulder, as one of his arms was around you. You both needed the warmth anyways as you were freezing. It was silent for a bit before you decided to speak up.

"My science teacher molested me." You said breathily. His eyes widened as he tried pulling away from you. With this new bit of information, he realized that the close proximity of you two could be making you nervous. He wasn't able to pull away though since your back was flush against the back of the seat, and you didn't seem too uncomfortable so he decided to keep it there. He rubbed your back up and down urging you to continue.

"I don't- I'm not sure what I did wrong. I disproved the experiment instead of verifying it and he got mad." You paused and took in a shaky breath of air. At this point, your voice sounded pathetically weak and vulnerable but you knew only Yunho could hear you since you were whispering to him, so you had nothing to worry about. He just let out a hum into your hair as you continued.

"He called me to stay after class the discuss the paper and I stayed. I fucking stayed. I stayed despite knowing his sleazy ass would try to pull something on me. After all the students left he called me over to his desk..." You stopped yourself off as you felt your voice wavering. At this point, Yunho could feel his stomach doing flips just thinking about the situation you were in. The fact that it seemed like you were blaming yourself made him feel even worse. Nonetheless, you continued.

"He grabbed my knee and then my thigh and when I told him to let go, he didn't. He even had the audacity to ask me whether I wanted to go further. When I said no, he- he said I would fail. This is all my fault, what the fuck is wrong with me." You let out breathily into Yunho's wet hoodie. His heart broke when he heard you blaming yourself, you couldn't be further from the truth.

"Hey, please don't blame yourself. You have no reason to blame yourself, Y/n. You put your heart into that essay and he didn't like it because his narrow-minded brain couldn't accept new ideas. Furthermore, I'm sure he only used it as an excuse to hurt you. I'm sure your essay was great, and please don't blame yourself for him touching you. What he did was wrong and is all his fault." He paused finally, a little breathless from rambling. You nodded thinking he was done, only for him to continue speaking.

"I'm going to give you my number... Feel free to call me after today, I want to help you. I want to help you speak your side and arrest your science teacher for he did to you" You mumbled a soft okay as you leaned deeper into his embrace.

"I shouldn't feel like this" You suddenly said. Yunho had assumed the conversation was over when you told him about your science teacher but regardless he was ready to listen, no matter what it was.

"Why?" He asked sincerely, ready to scold you again for putting yourself down for having emotions.

"I have loving parents. I study at a good school. I usually get decent grades. I have 2-3 friends who I talk to sometimes. My family can afford the resources I need to feel content. Then why the fuck do I feel like this?" You asked more to yourself than Yunho and he knew this, but he had an answer.

"So?" He countered, waiting for a reaction from you but you had none.

"Even the most privileged people are not happy hun. Satisfaction and content come from within. You may have everything you need but still not feel satisfied with yourself. Is there anything about yourself that is bothering you?" He asked and you furrowed your eyebrows. What he was saying made a lot of sense...

"You- I-, I guess... I feel stressed all the time, and I'm not happy with the work I produce since I'm stressed and overwhelmed, but how did you know-"

"How do I know?" He interrupted you while you looked at him with wide eyes.

"Because I've felt the exact same way a few years ago." Now it was your turn to be shocked.

"I'm training to be an idol and I spent countless nights practicing my dancing and singing, but I never felt happy with my skills. I always thought I could get better, and that led to a sort of addiction. I stayed up late at our studio practicing and my sleep schedule was fucked up." You chuckled breathily at his word choice and how he let a curse word slip in. He noticed and smiled back down at you.

"When I finally understood and accepted the problem I got better. My mental health took a turn for the better and I was more proud of my accomplishments. Besides, I consider myself a decent singer now" He laughed at the end as you joined him.

"I'm proud of you for reaching your goal and bettering yourself," You said honestly as you patted his chest.

"I just hope I can fix myself one day too." You said honestly.

"I'm sure you will be able to. It takes time and perseverance, so please never give up. You're a beautiful, talented, and valuable person, never doubt yourself." He said and you nodded in his embrace.

That's where the conversation ended for now. The silence was not awkward at all. Instead, it was quite comforting as you had a lot to think about and process. Yunho's words definitely shifted the way you looked at life.

Yunho got a little more confident and trailed his arm upwards of your back and into your wet hair. He ran his hands through your wet hair as you scooted closer to him. He gently rubbed his hands across your scalp relaxing you. Despite him being a stranger, from the way he listened to you, saved your life, and comforted you, you knew he was someone you could trust.

Meanwhile, the boy in the front, Hongjoong looked through the rear mirror, looking at the position you and Yunho were in. He and Yunho suddenly made eye contact through the mirror, and Yunho got nervous, his eyes widening as he realized his leader had seen the position he was in, but that went away as he realized Hongjoong was smiling back at him with a soft smile across his face.

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Unknowingly, you had fallen asleep in Yunho's arms. When Hongjoong realized you fell asleep he patted Seonghwa's shoulder pointing to the two of you. You had fallen asleep on Yunho's shoulder, resting your head against it, while his head was on top of yours, also asleep. Seonghwa almost squealed when he saw the position you were in. They exchanged a few knowing looks before you finally arrived at your stop.

Yunho woke up before you and you were awoken by a messy-haired, still sleepy but smiley Yunho, ushering you to go outside. You got up, rubbing at your eyes as you looked around. You realized you were still in the car with all of the boys looking at you. You got embarrassed and quickly fixed yourself before shooting a confused look at Yunho. Suddenly, the man driving, Wooyoung, spoke up.

"I dare you and Yunho to go to 7/11 to get us snackssss" He playfully said and you smiled.

"Don't forget to get yourself a new pair of clothes too, you're soaking wet and probably cold. Although, I don't think that was much of a problem considering you were practically on top of eachoth- OOF" Seonghwa was cut off but Yunho roughly shoving his side. For the first time in the past week, you let out a genuine laugh and all the boys turned to look at you, as you bent over in laughter. Their eyes widened and Yunho swore it was the most melodious sound he had ever heard.

Feeling empowered and having a new perspective on life, you decided to go with the flow. Besides, you were given a second chance at life, you weren't going to waste it, moping around. You decided to make a change, and that change started today.

"Well big boy, are you coming with me or not?"

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