#And Satan Calls the Turns

[20th-century-man]

Catherine Deneuve / on location in Collioure, France, during production of Grisha Dabat's Et Satan Conduit le Bal [English: And Satan Calls the Turns] (1962)

[corpusdiem-seizethedead]

Husk: *pointing to a high shelf* Can you reach that for me?

Angel: Awww, Whiskers! You need me in your life after all.

Husk: I could replace you with a step ladder.

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

obligatory rock murder mention

[rexbalistidae]

Btw not that anyone remembered me saying that I can only hear Leslie’s voice as the main girl from the ghost stories dub but yes that is still a problem for me.

I was supposed to post this hours ago but I went and saw longlegs with my friend and even though it sucked so hard ngl I am so scared of Nicolas cage oh my god.

[kannra21]

Bombastic side eye. Criminal offensive side eye.

[6mayhem]

anyway i need to hang out with my brother again he is the one person who i am pretty sure knows literally everything about me so he's the only person i trust that i can absolutely not disappoint. nothing i can do could be worse than the sum of everything i've been doing to that poor man (and him to me) the past 19 years

[saintofanything]

the only reason for me that this game is worst than last time is i didnt get to see sid throw a man to the ground. we used to be a real hockey team.

[ssaalexblake]

Irony is that one of the cautionary tales in 13's era was the dangers and dehumanisation of putting somebody on a pedestal (the master putting 13 on a pedestal bc of some scraps of genetic code, and long story very very short, this ends in him murdering her) bc oof you guys are gonna do the fandom over fawn thing with the new/old showrunner and then turn on him like rabid dogs over something arbitrary and do a metaphorical murder, and this is so unnecessary and could be avoided by just treating him like a person to start with 🙃

[veunho]

I love love love drawing but I cannot draw poses in any circumstances

[muun-jai]

Man they're releasing obey me chatecter scented candles and I just like -

I mean they're cute and all - like imagne having a scented candle and ppl just be like oh what's it called and its just like 'lucifer' like 💀

BUT ALsO

*deep sniffs 🥵🤫

[journey-to-the-attic]

Imagine IK telling the demons about the strange things that parents do that are actually super common ??

Like IK tells them that when a little kid has a loose tooth (Do you think Demons had baby teeth ?? Or I guess in their case little angels like Luke) the parent ties a string around it and then ties the other end to a door and slams it to get it out

They're all so .... silently scared because that honestly sounds like a torture method

Alecto is the type of person to actively seek out someone with a loose tooth because she wants to try it

ik tells them about the 'here comes the aeroplane' food thing and the brothers think it's so funny that it becomes a regular joke at the dinner table to come up with increasing nonsensical things for the spoon of food to be ("hey beeeel, here comes the giant rolling ferris wheel!")

also re: teeth (that sounds so weird) - i think young demons start out with really sharp little fangs when they first are created, but then they have like a first 'moult' where they develop their mature demon forms, and their baby fangs fall out then

young angels also have a first moult but they don't lose any teeth - it's just the silver baby down on their wings moulting into proper white flight feathers. though i'm sure at least some angels have accidentally knocked a tooth out in an accident before

and alecto would ABSOLUTELY do that, she puts up an ad in the rad newspaper asking any demons close to moulting to please contact her, she swears it'll be worth their time

[patchworkgargoyle]

If you're not listening to Zeal & Ardor what then the fuck are you doing?

[abnormallycreative]

.

[kragehund-est]

slasher horror: you better not have premarital sex or gerald "the stabber" douglas is gonna getcha

creepypasta: once there was a teen named alex and he was bullied so hard that he and the acid disfigured him so and he started killing everyone so they call him george the attacker

/x/: there was the skinwalker who stole my best friend's voice and then man door hand hook car door

r/nosleep: my wife was hungry for raw meat and then she gave birth to The Satan. he looked me in the eyes and said "don't go outside past midnight or else the eyeless ones might notice." but it turns out i never had a wife or son and the world ended 5 years ago on this very night.

r/twosentencehorror: i ran out of bloodmilk for my cereal. luckily, the creature provides.

mascot horror: this is silly wiggles, the candy giraffe! explore the silly wiggles candy emporium after dark! the secret ingredient is Love™! also the hidden video tapes will reveal that "Love™" is actually the copyright name for the consciousness of tortured children, mixed with the ground organs of factory workers.

indie horror: i can't describe this, there are only 7 pixels so idk what's going on

[48787]

So, as it turns out, my capacity for tyranny is actually fuckin huge and I'm really fucking good at it

I have so many more things to put in my book now

Peace Through Tyranny will be real circa 2048 and it'll still be sued by fucking Hasbro

[zephyrchama]

Can't stop thinking about the brothers calling MC "master" since that new teaser trailer came out. The game is called "One Master to Rule Them All." It's always been called that. This massive potential has been right in front of our eyes the whole time.

Lucifer, who only uses it in private when he's feeling particularly devilish. He wraps his arms around you, looks you right in the eye, and asks, "how does my master feel today, hmm?"

Mammon, who has an empty wallet and the urge to gamble: "Maaaster! Can I borrow some cash? I can, right? I'm your first, after all. I'll just take it from your wallet."

Leviathan, who wants to go to an anime collab cafe but is too anxious to go alone, so he begs you: "Please! Master! It's only open this week and I just have to collect all 24 limited edition cafe coasters! It'll be easier if we go together!"

Satan, who catches you when you stumble and jokingly asks, "are you okay, master?" He likes seeing the little sparks of wrath in your eyes that mirror his own.

Asmodeus, who thinks the word is hot and enjoys your reaction when he comes to steal you away from other people by saying "hey! I need to speak with my master. I'll be borrowing them for a while. I'm sure you don't mind."

Beelzebub, who hungrily stares at the food in the fridge with your name on it. He knows he needs to butter you up to have any chance of success: "Hey master, are you gonna eat that?"

Belphegor, who uses it at the most unexpected times. He texts the group chat, "does anyone know where our master is? I can't find them." It sets off a long chain of messages. "Master's not in their bedroom?" "Master? Haven't seen 'em." "Did you try yelling 'master!' and seeing if they respond?" "I saw master getting something to drink about an hour ago." "Master, are you reading our messages? I know you are." "I can't believe master is ignoring us." Several crying emoji are sent in quick succession.

Solomon and Barbatos, who witness the brothers doing this on occasion. Solomon turns to the latter and says, "You never call me your master. Want to give it a try?"

Barbatos looks at him with barely repressed revulsion. "I only have one master, and that is the Young Master. If you ever make such a joke again I will have you tried in court for lese-majeste."