#theres some event where we meet again (we live like 5 hours apart) we only hang around for like an hour before we get in his car
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anyway i need to hang out with my brother again he is the one person who i am pretty sure knows literally everything about me so he's the only person i trust that i can absolutely not disappoint. nothing i can do could be worse than the sum of everything i've been doing to that poor man (and him to me) the past 19 years
#especially now that im back into literally the only interest we actually share on a deep enough level to enjoy it together LOL#i mean we were also both into hannibal but thats just not an enjoyable show to watch together its too much effort#but wow that time we read das boot slash fanfic on the bus together that was awesome#and the time we wrote fanfic together lol LITERALLY WHY DID WE STOP#he has only gotten cooler and more comfortable with his gayness since then we need to write fanfic again ‼️#anyway i feel sorry for every person in my life but i dont think anyone ill ever know could ever have as close a relationship to me as him#were platonic soulmates lol but like not in the spiritual sense bc its pretty obvious that its not some supernatural bond#its juuuust shared trauma haha and the fact that our trauma is so complex and layered that only we will ever truly understand each other#there has been a really rough patch where we practically did not talk for 4... 5? whole years im serious. maybe on the weekends sometimes#while we were stewing in our own shit. but now were inseperable i think it actually pisses off the rest of our family because every time#theres some event where we meet again (we live like 5 hours apart) we only hang around for like an hour before we get in his car#and drive somewhere and hang out there for the rest of the day and night and only return at like 3am drunk#in a sense i guess were catching up on all the missed time#to be honest we both had some horrible shit going on in our heads me with the transgenderism and toxic relationship#him with his anger issues and (what he calls) psychopathy. like ill say this much he was not a good person as a child he was a devil#he was quite literally what some describe as born evil like u know those satans spawns kids that cut off babys fingers and dissect rabbits#all that yk. and i was his first and most frequent victim due to availability lol and my parents did not know any of it and if they did#they ignored it. so yeah u can imagine the relationship was a little strained and for a long time i lived in fear of him#also due to all the death threats and attempts on my life HAHA its kinda funny because i can say all this all detached now#but i think to anyone else this sounds mad as hell. like im not talking roughhousing or being mad at each other#he was always scarily calm and hyperintelligent he was actually diagnosed with some form of like super high intelligence that#makes kids capable of being really manipulative and thats what he used at every turn. everything was always calculated that was scary#if he was nice to me i would question if he was trying to lure me somewhere to hurt me yk?#anyway. sometimes those old thoughts come back when were hanging out alone but mostly i know hes changed and worked on himself#sorry oversharing oh wow
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It’s a blog for a reason
Idk if i’ll keep up with this actually or not but its a blog for a reason, they’re places were you can talk about whatever the fuck you want. I said Id do the same thing with my personal blog but also I follow some friends on that blog and they probably don't want to hear about the stuff I get up to or my little depressive episodes. I mean sure they’ll show their concern but that only goes so far I guess.
Idk I mean it’s just a place for me to talk, I once started a google docs document where I had the idea to start writing like a guide? i guess you could call it but where I would write the name of someone I knew, one of my friends, a family member, ex boyfriends, whoever then I would create an entry of who they were, their interactions with me, my relationship with them and what I thought of them or their like defining character traits or actions that stood out to me. The benefit with this though I guess is that I can just type whatever comes to mind as i type it. Sometimes it could be organized and tie into older posts if I keep up with it or it could just be on the fly stories and recollections of thing that have happened to me or what I’m feeling at the time. Ive meant or at least had the idea to actually physically write this or start a journal where I could do the same thing but that would take me much longer to do where typing I can do much faster and get more thoughts out. Plus writing for so long and about so much makes my hand hurt after a while and I can’t talk about all I wanted to because I can't keep writing. I don't have that problem with typing XD
I guess I could start with some recent events that have been on my mind. So I guess about like 2 months ago? I had gotten a Tinder. That in itself was an event XD Ive always been both curious and scared of it because in my mind meeting someone on tinder doesn't feel as genuine when meeting someone by chance or passing or words between friends to meet someone new. But I had gotten one and within a few weeks I had made quite a few matches, however none of them seemed really into it. Half of them never messaged me back and only seemed to be there for the sake of getting a match, others may have talked back but didn't seem interested in trying to start something or meet up for a date. I had finally gotten one guy to go on a date with me, I had never really talked to him but Ive seen his face around because we had some friends within the same social group but like I said, never really met or talked to him only seen him on like instagram before. We had gone on one date and texted a bit but he just wasnt for me. I called him a “real flower child” is the best way I can describe it. Now I don't mean to offend anyone but also who the fuck is gonna read all this, this is only my first like text blog post no one really cares its more for me to get this out. Anyway I call him a real flower child because he's very outdoorsy and loves nature and Lana Del Ray and has the whole nose ring piercing, curly hair, circular glasses, he actually said once “the world make me sad” as he took a bath with candles and a bath bomb, he also said “wine makes me cry” which I mean ok maybe wine does make people drunk cry but still its all about his aesthetic. Its a fun aesthetic but that’s just not for me.
After him I had an occasional match but I ran into the same problem where either no one wanted to talk and was just there for a match or they never seemed interested. I had given up on the app really but I kept it around because in the back of my head I'm thinking like alright, its all good, I'm a patient person it just takes some time, you never know I may meet someone actually, and then last week I matched with two guys. One that lives on the other side of Columbus and one that lives just outside of Easton. The one on the other side of Columbus is really cute and had a lot of the same interests and is just kinda quirky and fun, I just haven't met him yet but we both want to meet up. Now the other one I’ll just say J, he lives outside of Easton and I went on my first date with him on Sunday. It was a good day, we had wandered around Easton, gone out to eat and saw a movie. He also has a lot of the same interests as me, video games, some anime, youtube, but thats about it actually now that I think about it. He's a little rough, like more aggressive but in a sarcastic way I guess. But we vibe well together i feel. Shorter than me, has contacts, wears glasses occasionally mostly at home really. He's 21 as well which I mean sure Im 19 but I guess thats where Im also attracted to him because he's a little older, he’s more mature than some of my past boyfriends but also has a childish side like me. Thats where we’re similar. We went and saw Mother! which I guess was supposed to be a phycological thriller but it was really dumb to us, it didn't make much sense. I was during the movie where I first kissed him, I had wanted to earlier as well but I didn’t feel like it was right yet. It made me laugh though that that was the movie we saw and decided ah yes, this is a good movie to kiss and cuddle and hold hands to.
After the movie I didn't quite want to leave yet because I was getting pretty attached to him that night so we went back to his apartment for the night. I watched him play Skyrim for a bit, he let me try out Overwatch while him and his roommate had gone to get her some pizza. Which I thought like alrighty, this is okay, just leave me alone at your apartment even though I literally just physically met you today. They came back after like a half hour, eventually me and him went back to his room, we made out for a good while on and off. He wanted to take a bath together which I had never done before. My last boyfriend had suggested it but I never really wanted to much. We got the water running for a second but I was really anxious, I had gotten my shirt off but I didn't take off my pants. He was already in his underwear, it took me a second but eventually he also kinda forced me as in getting close and kissing me then pulling down my shorts and underwear. I was really awkward at that point. It took me like 2 months before my last boyfriend had seen me naked and no one before him has seen me naked, its just not my thing its weird, I just don't like it much. But anyway so we had gotten in the shower instead, I was still pretty anxious. My legs were shaking I was hugging my body, it was just generally uncomfortable but within a few minutes I had mostly gotten over it. It just make me feel really weird. After the shower we got out and just laid on his bed for a bit still naked. I had gotten over it by that time but there was still some after feelings that I guess I didn't notice as much since we were making out again. Eventually we but our underwear back on and a t shirt and went to bed after about another hour or so.
The next morning we just stayed in bed really until I had to leave to go back home because mom was wondering where I was, I had texted her last night that I was staying there with him so that was taken care of. Eventually I got home and that was that. He had actually invited me to a party one of his coworkers was having that night but I had already stayed with him one night and I had to but up early the next morning for work so I told him no I couldn't which of course he was pouting over a little but in a playful way that you would when your flirting with someone. So that night I actually ended up going to a party at my other friends house till like 1am but THAT was ok because he only lived like 5 minutes away from home compared to an hour that J lived. That was Monday night, the first date was Sunday and I stayed with J Sunday night. I worked early on Thursday morning but then he came out to my house that afternoon. We played some Mario Kart Double Dash at my house then drove out to my friends house Ive been housesitting for to technically grab some wires for my Wii but then we ended up taking another bath in their huge bathtub with jets for about an hour and a half which was nice. I was used to being naked with J by now. We watched some youtube while in the bath, made out for a bit again. Then we got dressed and drove back to my house. By the time we got back it was about 1am when I wanted to get to bed because between Sunday and Monday night I had gotten about 8 hours of sleep total. So he left and that was Tuesday. Now yesterday, Wednesday I worked again early in the morning, then I went back out to Columbus and saw J again for a few hours, we played some gamecube again, I went with him to get groceries, then me and him went out to eat. Came back and laid in his bed in our underwear again watching youtube and cuddling and kissing until it was about 11:30 then I went home again.
Idk what to make of J, I like him, he's the farthest Ive been on a first date thats for sure. I enjoy his company but do I? Or is it just because I haven't had any sort of attention like this in almost 6 months? Like I had said we share some similar interests. Video games, some music, a little bit of anime and legos. He's pretty sweet with me but also he's a little more aggressive than me, which I mean Im okay with kinda. challenge me a little, don't be afraid to playfully challenge and fight me. But don't be an ass about it. Idk theres the other kid on the other side of Columbus who I've been snap chatting as well but Ive been giving J most of my attention.
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To Make Golf Fun, Just Add a Nightclub
https://clearwatergolfclub.com/to-make-golf-fun-just-add-a-nightclub/
To Make Golf Fun, Just Add a Nightclub
Its a Friday night at the end of September, when tourism begins to get following the heat of summer time in Scottsdale, Ariz. Several eight twentysomething guys are experiencing the warm evening with an open-air deck, reclining on low couches arranged around a table packed with aluminum bottles of Coors Light. This Is The Way We All Do It throbs from loudspeakers above. A couple of hundred yards away, the sunshine display in the Speaking Stick Resort shimmers in pastel hues of blue, eco-friendly, pink, and crimson. Among the guys grabs a golf club, approaches the patch of artificial turf in which a ball sits awaiting him, and swings, launching it on the low parabola toward Speaking Sticks casino.
He and the buddies are in Topgolf, the driving-range-meets-sports-bar-meets-nightclub thats among the fastest-growing recreational entertainment chains within the U.S. Scenes such as this are happening at 25 areas across the nation tonightpeople eating, watching sports, nodding along to pop songs, and hitting baseballs, all without moving greater than a couple of paces using their beers. The 3-level Scottsdale location comes complete by 8 p.m. waiting for for just one of their 102 hitting bays, because both versions seats eight, is 30 minutes. This, a hostess informs me, is comparatively shortthe previous night, she states, waiting for was as lengthy as three hrs. You will find youngsters with parents, couples on dates, and a minimum of one bachelorette party. Individuals waiting bide time inside a full-service sports bar, consuming margaritas and eating flatbread pizza.
Topgolf awards points in line with the distance and precision of the shot. Landing a ball within the center ring from the farthest hole,185 yards in the hitting bays, nets you 10 points. You get one within the outer ring from the nearest hole, 25 yards away, scores youthree.
Professional photographer: Nathanael Turner for Bloomberg Businessweek
As well as be obvious right now, anybody searching for any good walk spoiled may wish to skip Topgolf. Golf is only the vehicle through which they deliver fun, states Jim Koppenhaver, president of industry consultant Pellucid. It requires away the majority of the barriers to fun from the traditional game. Since 2005 the amount of golfers in the usa has fallen 20 percent, from 30 million to 24 million, based on the National Golf Foundation. At Topgolf theres you don’t need to buy clubs, pay dues, or put aside an mid-day to experience a complete 18 holes. Rather, theres the bare pleasure of whacking a ball having a clubplus beer, burgers, and flatscreens set to sports. The approach is less hushed reverence, more Dave & Busters with 9-irons.
The very first Topgolf opened up in 2000 in Watford, England, a commuter town northwest based in london. It had been the creation of Dave and Steve Jolliffe, golf-loving twins who embedded radio-frequency identification chips in balls to trace them. They invented a game title to choose the balls, putting holes within the turf, each about 50 ft wide having a flag within the center, for targets. The very best in Topgolf was for target oriented practice.
The organization has since dropped the acronym, however the fundamental game the Jolliffes invented continues to be performed at each Topgolf. In Scottsdale the hostess leads us to some bay around the second deckIve introduced along my father, who, much like me, hasnt been in a course in a long time. The tee faces 215 yards of turf bounded with a internet greater than 150 feet high. Its pay-by-the-hour$45 during peak occasions only at that venuefor a bay about how big a living room. Each player will get a Topgolf membership card, that the hostess swipes in a touchscreen to begin our time. She explains the fundamental rules: No running to the tee hitting, Happy Gilmore-style. (We’d people doing that, she states.) Just one person at any given time beyond the red line separating the couches in the tee. With no targeting the carts that circle the outfield sweeping up balls. The Ten holes, varying from 25 yards to 185 yards away, seem like meteor craters. Theres additionally a trench target across the far internet.
Topgolfs rules are generous by design. Any ball that rolls or drops into any hole scores. (You may choose more demanding scoring formats.) The farther away the opening and also the closer the ball involves the flag, the greater points you receive. Each player will get 20 balls per round. After each shot, a screen reports in which the ball arrived, the yardage, and also the points scored. Once we play, a waiter comes by to consider our order of lagers, chips and guacamole, Zoysia wings, then one known as bacon mac n cheese spring rolls. A Television shows late-season baseball.
Among the hitting bays, having a bar waiting area without anyone’s knowledge.
Professional photographer: Nathanael Turner for Bloomberg Businessweek
The initial Watford venue, and 2 more that opened up in England after it, didn’t have flatscreen TVs with no music. There is beer, pub food, along with a high-tech method to practice golf. Erik Anderson, founding father of private equity finance fund WestRiver Group and ceo of Topgolf Entertainment Group, made the decision to create the concept stateside in 2005. He compensated a licensing fee to Topgolfs British proprietors and opened up the very first U.S. venue, in Alexandria, Veterans administration., in August of this year locations in Dallas and suburban Chicago adopted in 2007. These were still relatively modest: tees on two levels having a bucket of balls along with a couple of deck chairs each and every. Regardless of the recession and golfs speeding up decline, people came and spent. Through the finish of 2008 the organization had almost 700 visitors each day at its U.S. venues.
In ’09, Anderson and several U.S. investors bought Topgolfs technology to have an undisclosed fee and made the decision to overhaul the ground arrange for future locations. They added another level, tripling how big each venue to 65,000 square feet replaced the buckets with motion-sensing ball dispensers and, inside a key change, put TVs and loungeseffectively, the whole sports bar experienceat each bay. We recognized this really was a built-in entertainment and sports experience, Anderson states.
The very first new-generation venue opened up in Allen, Texas, north of Dallas, this year. Within days there have been waits to obtain a bay on the Saturday night. Whenever a Houston location opened up the year after, there have been waits from the first day. Previously 5 years, Topgolf has opened up 23 venues, over fifty percent of these forever of 2015. A flagship in Vegas, featuring two pools, a concert hall, and views from the Strip, opened up in May. In September the organization arranged $275 million in financing to construct seven to ten locations annually. (Each costs $20 million to $25 million to spread out.) We believe theres room for 100 approximately within the U.S. as well as an equal amount globally, Anderson states, though apart from the initial locations, the organization hasnt yet opened up any outdoors the U.S. Revenue this past year involved $300 million this season it will likely be in regards to a half-billion dollars. Topgolfs success has inspired competitors. FlyingTee opened up in Tulsa captured, supplying a similar mixture of food, drink, and golf-as-arcade-game.
Each new Topgolf employs about 450 people, about 30 percent of these full-time. To locate individuals who can promote its party vibe, Topgolf has produced a custom interview format. In the Dallas venue, where I sitting in on the recruiting event in September, hopefuls are welcomed by a number of employees, known as the Tee-Up Crew, dolled up in oversize shades and leis and waving balloons and foam fingers. Like a DJ works through hip-hop hits Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae), Turn Lower for which, and Cupid Shuffle, one older applicant, a guy in khakis along with a white-colored golf shirt, hovers around the fringe of the circle gamely attempting to dance combined with the others.
The 60 approximately people looking for work, mostly twentysomethings and teenagers, seem like San Antonioa mixture of white-colored, black, and Latino. The typical chronilogical age of a Topgolf worker is all about 27, states Amber Weiss, the companys mind of talent acquisition and compensation. The awkward dance-along belongs to a carefully staged procedure that includes group brainstorming as well as an X-factor audition: 90 seconds for that applicant to complete or say whatever he wants before a panel of three. Were together for 3 hrs, Weiss states. Were searching for behaviors throughout that point. How can they treat one another? Exactly what do they are doing once they dont think theyre being viewed? She states they divide applicants into three groups: rock stars, zombies (applicants who just feel the motions), and skunks (individuals who won’t engage).
In Scottsdale, the night time is simply getting began. Because the DJ plays Worthwhile, a guy in a bay to the left steps over the tee line to face behind his date which help her together with her formits from the rules, however the staff appears unconcerned. On the right would be the bachelorettes. One lady lines up four balls, smacks them one to another, and shouts, Enter there! Alongside them may be the table of youthful dudes, certainly one of whom looks like it’s too drunk for connecting together with his swings. Strike one! shouts a buddy. He whiffs again. Strike two! To prevent a strikeout, he will get lower on his stomach and uses the club just like a pool cue to poke the ball from the tee.
Good Walks Spoiled: Five Courses That Tee Off on Tradition* *Based on the National Course Proprietors Association
Illustrator: Jay Daniel Wright
Bluejack National Club & Community Montgomery, Texas, bluejacknational.com Youll will never need to influence the children arrive at the course. The club includes a bowling alley, cinema, archery range, ropes course, and hamburger joint.
Deerfield Newark, Del., deerfieldgolfclub.com Garrisons Lake Club Smyrna, Del., garrisonslakegolf.com Youve got an hour or so to kill. Not lots of time to play, right? Wrong! At Forewinds Hospitalitys two courses, you are able to book the letter time depending on how lengthy you need to play. 
Illustrator: Jay Daniel Wright
Turning Stone Resort & Casino Verona, N.Y., turningstone.com Keep hitting well into winter inside this 330-feet-lengthy, 240-feet-wide, 75-feet-high golf dome, that has 40 bays, an exercise bunker and eco-friendly, and 2 simulators. While its still warm out, try the resorts recently redesigned nine-hole course, ideal for a fast round. 
Blue Sky Club Jacksonville, Fla., golfbluesky.com Go right out the parking area towards the links (family and friends are outfitted with iPads, so that you can bypass the clubhouse). After playing 3, 6, 9, or 18 holes, mind towards the club restaurant for Ultimate Scratch nachos ($8).
Find out more: http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2016-10-26/to-make-golf-fun-just-add-a-nightclub
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