#ALSO LIKE? THERES NO SET SCHEDULE??
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roaringheat · 2 years ago
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Had my first day at my 2nd job today and I am suddenly very aware of muscles I have never felt before in my life in the worst way possible
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deoidesign · 5 months ago
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Hello! I just discovered your blog and I immediately became captivated by your webcomic, but I'm unsure where to read all of it. I know it's on Webtoons, but I can see it hasn't been updated for a while, and you still post about it.
Are your physical novels just prints of the webcomic? Are they a continuation? Is the story complete? Thanks in advance!
Hi there!
Glad you found me and are enjoying my comic!
It's only on webtoons, and the story is not complete yet! We're 2/3 of the way through right now. It's currently on hiatus, and it's scheduled to come back in about 2 months!
I'll explain why it's been so long if you're curious, but also for my followers who might also be wondering about it under the cut. Sorry, it's pretty much just me complaining haha
I took a month off I took 2 months to get the books printed I took a month to prepare my next comic and I took 2 months to write the rest of the series (I knew the character arcs I wanted, but not the time periods or mysteries!!!) I've been working on actual episodes since then
I had to take some time off because of some pretty extreme burnout due to the sheer amount of work it was to draw over 800 pages and write 6 complete stories in a year and a half... I was getting sick almost weekly due to the overwork, it was really really bad honestly. I was having to work 60+ hours every week just to keep up...
The nature of the comic itself is also difficult... Each of the arcs is a complete, self contained story which can be read (ideally) without context, and my arcs need to be about 10-13 episodes each... And since I have an exact number of episodes to work with, it's even harder.
It takes a ton of planning and a ton of refinement, and working week to week with no breaks I was forced to put out second or even first drafts, so I just wasn't happy with the work I was doing... And to do that for the rest of the series? I wouldn't be proud of the work I did.
Plus... To be entirely honest, webtoon has treated me quite badly IN MY OPINION... They deprioritized me before I launched (I had to beg for more promotion, I'm not exaggerating), they outright denied me the opportunity to even ask for a raise, I don't make any money on fast pass and they pay me less than my partner makes working at trader joes. My first editor left me completely hanging, my second editor (who I loved) was fired... And they told me I wouldn't get a third season before my first season even finished. So it was just repeatedly completely demoralizing.
I'm sorry it has taken so long, it'll have been 10 months by the time I come back. But I realized... I won't get promotion either way. I won't get more episodes either way. I won't get more money either way. So to finish everything, to make it feel good, to make it something I'm proud of, I chose to take longer to make it better.
I am fully aware I will lose a significant amount of my readership for this and it might genuinely affect my career moving forward. But it's what I had to do! So I'm sticking to my guns on it, and I'm confident long term it'll be worth it. It never could have been this good if I didn't take this much time.
#asks#steakandpeanutbuttersandwiches#I'm SO sorry youre new and you asked me such a benign question and I responded with... this... LMAO#I swear to god I tried to make it as short as possible#theres just a lot auauuaghkhgjk#basically. way too much work. not enough money.#so it either is gonna be good and take longer or be worse but come back faster#and I chose to take longer#so.#I'm really sorry and I wish that this decision didn't also come with the... pretty much guarantee that it will negatively impact my career.#I will lose readers. I will lose potential readers for my future work. it looks bad on me as a creator to take such a big break. etc. etc.#but it's good. it's so good. you have to trust me it's like the best stuff Ive ever written#it. ok well to be honest#it'll probably feel extremely simple and extremely natural#but it's been SO much work LMAO#I am not exaggerating I have written over 200 pages of scapped ideas to get to where it is#I'm sure it won't make sense why it took so long while reading but you gotta trust me LMAO#ideally it doesnt even 'feel' different right. cause its gotta be cohesive with the whole thing#but there is SO MUCH TO WRAP UP#THERES SO MUCH#and to make that feel natural in this little space oh my GOD it is so hard#ok omfg I'm doing it again I'm going on way too long again IM SO SORRY#YOURE NEW HERE AND IM DOING THIS IMMEDIATELy#this is like 90% for my followers who I know are curious about this and I'm just using you as a jumping off point to talk about it#cause I don't really like to make standalone posts very often#I likely will make some kind of official announcement about it when the date is extremely set in stone#right now I think it's still only tentatively scheduled so it could still change#and I'll say something more... refined and restrained... then.#but for now this is like. actually everything. I think#I'm sure I forgot something but whatever lmfao
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tommygotwrittenoff · 24 days ago
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things i think buddie would argue about after moving in together: buying organic, the tupperware cabinet, couch throw pillows, the coffee maker
#yes i will elaborate#yk bucks buying all organic and name brand. eddie only buys organic or name brand if buck or chris want it. otherwise its gonna be generic#like if chris wants cheezits then hes getting cheezits if buck wants organic fruit leather then buck is getting his organic fruit leather#but if eddie wants oreos hes getting twist and shouts or sandwich creme cookies or whatever generic brand is available#every grocery trip is like just grab organic lettuce eddie. it doesnt matter buck just cuz theres no dirt on it doesnt mean its not lettuce#and the tupperware cabinet at the diaz (buck changes his last name to diaz okay he told me himself) house is crazy#i just know bucks tupperware cabinet in the loft is organized like crazy prob has labels or something. have you seen his immaculate kitchen#eddies tupperware cabinet is based on vibes. he tries to keep it organized but chris keeps coming home with more for some reason and theyre#all different sizes and theres no good way to condense them so theyre all just kinda in there and the cabinet closes so thats good enough#and that cabinet is the bane of bucks existence bc eddie let him have free rein over organizing everything else in the kitchen except#the tupperware cabinet#seriously eddie why cant we just throw some of these away and make some room in here?#oh suddenly mr we need to buy organic sustainably grown toilet paper wants to throw plastic directly into a landfill? absolutely not buck#and about the throw pillows#i just know mr eddie diaz loves home goods hes prob a member of the finders club or something#that man is decorating for all holidays and changes the pillows every season (canon) and buck well. weve seen the loft its the bare minimum#eddie comes back from home goods with a new pillow set and buck is like. eddie. eddie we have a dozen pillows already why do we need more??#none of the old ones match the new painting.#the new painting?? what new painting???#the coffee maker is a constant battle#because buck has had a hildy coffee maker for years and when he tried to set it up at eddies eddie was like. no. get that out of my house#and bucks like your house?? i thought this was our house 😔😔😔#oh baby i didnt mean that ofc its our house everything of mine is also yours#so i can set up hildy in our house right?#no.#and so buck is always dramatic as hell whenever he makes a pot of coffee.#oh if only i could set the brew cycle to match our work schedule. oh imagine how much we could save on the electric bill if it could put#itself to sleep after brewing. eddie. eds. babe if we could brew coffee from our phones then we could cuddle longer in the mornings#buck no. that thing is not allowed in this house.#me thinks
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affinitystoryblog · 2 years ago
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god...now that ive actually decided to get started on the actual comic of affinity i...i dont know what i want to do...
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kai-uh-arcadian · 2 months ago
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Firsts
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
synopsis: a collection of the firsts you have with Aeri <3
cw: it's purely fluff until the end and it's a bit... steamy hehe, fingering, brat! aeri, begging, finger sucking, nipple play, tension(?), if theres anything else please lmk!
word count: 6.5k
notes! hi my loves I hope you enjoy this! It's (lowkey) a continuation of Project: Aeri but I guess you don't have to read it for this to make sense... but you should! It's my first time ever writing smut so pls be kind hehe
lmk how you feel about this if you'd like and if you wanna chat my dms/asks are always open!
ps. the pics are supposed to be from each first hehehe and also also also did anyone catch the 3 sunflowers meaning?? :0
xoxo love youuu
also s/o to my BAE @wintersera thank you for the ideas for the smut (;
First date 
After everything that had happened that night, you two remained in touch and saw each other quite often. The tension between you was clear, lingering in every glance, every playful tease. There was an unspoken fact but both of you had been too nervous to make the first move.
Until now.
After weeks of mutual pining, you finally decided it was time to take the initiative. You couldn’t wait any longer—you wanted her to be yours, officially (of course).
With slightly shaky hands, you clicked on her contact and pressed the call option, your heart racing as you held the phone to your ear– which was new because calling wasn’t foreign for you two.
“Uh, hello?” Aeri’s sweet voice rang through the line, smooth and familiar.
You cleared your throat, trying to keep your nerves in check. “Hey Aeri, you busy tonight? I, uh... wanted to ask you something”
There was a playful pause on the other end before she giggled. “Hmm... depends. What’s up?”
Your heart raced. “I wanna take you out on a date,” you blurted, a little more direct than you intended.
“Did you call me just to ask me on a date?” she laughed, her voice teasing, followed by a playful sigh. “How old are you, 80?” she teased, obviously enjoying your nervousness.
You rolled your eyes, trying to stay composed despite your pounding heart. “Oh, whatever! Do you want to go on a date or not, Uchinaga?”
“Hmm...” she drew out the sound, clearly toying with you, her tone mischievous. “Let me check my schedule. I might be able to pencil you in...” She trailed off for a moment, and you could practically hear the smirk in her voice.
You couldn’t help but grin, even though she couldn’t see it. “You’re such a tease.”
After a brief pause, she broke the silence with a laugh. “Yes! I can, is there like a dress code for this date?”
Your smile widened, the weight in your chest releasing slightly.
“Hmm. just something casual and comfy,” you replied, already mentally planning out the evening. “I’ll pick you up at 6?”
“Not even gonna tell me where we’re going?” she asked, her voice curious.
“Nope!” you said with a teasing grin. “It’s a surprise”
She let out a dramatic sigh. “Fine fine~, I guess I’ll trust you”
With a satisfied sigh, you hung up the phone and immediately began scrambling around your apartment. You grabbed extra pillows and blankets, carefully folding them and setting them aside. Then, you packed your laptop and collected an assortment of snacks and sodas, wanting everything to be perfect for your date.
You made your way down the staircase to the parking lot where your car sat. You pushed down the back seats of your crossover SUV, trying to make the space into a makeshift bed. You arranged the pillows and blankets neatly, trying your best to make it perfect. After placing the snacks and laptop down by one of the pillows, you felt a huge wave of excitement hit you.
Today’s the day
When everything was set, you hopped into your car, but as you started driving, a thought hit you—something was missing. A date wasn’t complete without a little something extra. Smiling to yourself, you made a quick detour to a nearby flower shop, quickly browsing through the fresh bouquets. After a few moments of searching, your eyes landed on the three sunflowers—vibrant, bold, and full of warmth, just like Aeri.
With the small bunch carefully placed on the passenger seat, you felt a surge of excitement. You couldn’t wait to see her reaction.
Finally, you arrived at Aeri’s apartment, your nerves kicking in again as you approached. You quickly texted her a simple, I’m here, before grabbing the sunflowers beside you. But the moment you saw her stepping out of her building, all those nerves melted away.
Dressed in casual sweats and a simple tank top paired with a black jacket, Aeri still managed to take your breath away. Her casual look only made her more radiant, and for a moment, you were speechless.
You hopped out of the car, sunflowers in hand, quickly making your way around to open the door for her.
Her eyes lit up when she spotted the small bouquet. “Are these for me? How’d you know they were my favourite?” she asked, her voice light with surprise.
“Of course they are,” you said, smiling shyly as you handed her the sunflowers. “And honestly I didn’t, they just reminded me of you”
Aeri grinned, holding the bouquet close and inhaling their sweet fragrance. “You’re too sweet, Y/N, and a little cheesy” she teased, her eyes sparkling.
“You look beautiful, by the way” you added ignoring her stupid little comment, your voice coming out softer than expected as you took her in.
She flashed a grin, her eyes twinkling with amusement. “Thanks, you don’t look too bad yourself, L/N,” she teased with a playful wink before stepping into the car, making you smile and roll your eyes.
Once you started driving, Aeri glanced over at you, interrupting the light music you had on, “Soo~ can I know where we’re going now, or are you just planning to kidnap me?” She chuckled.
“Damn. You caught me,” you teased back. “But if you keep talking, I might just reconsider and drop you back off.”
“Hey!” she laughed, lightly hitting your arm, and soon both of you were laughing.
“Okay, okay,” you said, not taking long to give in. “I’m taking you to this spot I used to go to when I wanted to relax or reflect on shit or whatever. It’s a pretty special place for me, and I wanted to share it with you… I even set up a little car picnic in the back.” Nervously rubbing the back of your neck before motioning towards the back seat
Aeri’s eyes lit up as she glanced behind her at the pillows and blankets you’d carefully arranged. “Y/N! That’s sooo cute!” she squealed, her excitement contagious as she reached over and gently rubbed your arm. “Thank you,” she added softly
“Yeah- Of course, Aeri,” you responded, your heart swelling at the way she looked at you
When you arrived, the sky was a breathtaking canvas of pinks and oranges, the sun slowly dipping below the horizon. You both made your way to the trunk of your car and you quickly connected your laptop to your hotspot while searching for a movie.
“And we’re watching a movie? You’re seriously the best,” Aeri said, her eyes lighting up as she took in the scene.
“Not just any movie... Deadpool!” you said with a grin, you remembered how it was her favorite movie.
“No way! Now you’re just spoiling me, n/n,” Aeri said, her cheeks dusted with a faint blush.
“Well yeah, nothing less for you Aeri,” you responded, feeling a little shy under her gaze.
The two of you settled into the makeshift bed, propped up against the pillows. Aeri’s head naturally found its place on your shoulder, and as much as you tried to focus on the movie, her familiar sweet scent made it impossible. You could feel her warmth, the weight of her resting against you, and your heart raced despite your best efforts to stay calm.
After a while, Aeri shifted slightly. “Can you lay down? My neck is hurting,” 
You blinked at her, not quite processing what she meant at first.
“Hm?”
“...So I can lay on you?” she clarified, her eyebrows furrowing with a smile
“Oh— duh, yeah, of course,” you stammered, feeling your face heat up. You shifted around, carefully placing one arm behind your head and the other around her, pulling her in slowly. She nestled into the crook of your arm like she belonged there, her body fitting perfectly against yours.
The top of her head rested under your chin, her warmth enveloping you, and everything about the moment felt just right—like it was meant to be.
“Your heart is beating so fast,” Aeri pointed out, still focused on the screen that was on your lap.
“Mm,” you mumbled, trying to play it cool and dismiss it, even though your stupid racing heart was betraying you.
A few moments later, Aeri commented again, her voice light with amusement. “Like, it’s really fast. I can barely hear the movie,” she giggled, propping herself up on one elbow. Her eyes gleamed with mischief as she looked at you. “What’s going on? Am I making you nervous or somethingg~?”
She raised an eyebrow, locking her gaze with yours, and suddenly, you were at a loss for words. The movie continued playing in the background, but you could hardly hear it over the pounding of your heart. You were completely lost in her eyes, your breath catching in your throat.
Before you could stop yourself, the words tumbled out. “Will you.. be my girlfriend?” you finally managed to say, your voice soft, almost a whisper.
Her eyes widened in surprise before softening, something shy and tender was in her expression as she stared at you. For a moment, the playful air between you shifted..  To something serious.
“Is that.. Is that what you really want?” she asked, her voice sincere. There was a flicker of something in her eyes—uncertainty? nervousness?—but it was quickly replaced by warmth.
“Well.. yeah…” you replied, your heart still pounding, feeling more vulnerable than you ever had before.
Aeri’s lips twitched into a smirk, her tone deadpan. “Then no.”
You blinked in surprise, your jaw dropping just as she burst into a fit of laughter.
You realized you had just walked right into her joke, you groaned. “Ahh~ you’re sooo mean,” you huffed, though you were fighting off a laugh of your own. “I take it back,” you added, dramatically turning your head away like a pouting child.
“Nonono~ Y/n~ Wait, I was kiddingggg~” she giggled, practically pouncing on you. Her hands gently grabbed your face, squishing your cheeks between her palms.
“Ask me againnn~” she teased, her voice soft and sing-song as she planted a sweet kiss on your cheek.
Your stomach flipped, but you were determined to keep up the bit. “Nope~,” you pouted again, causing her to giggle even more.
She began peppering your face with soft, feathery kisses. “Ask~ me~ again~” she sang between each word with a kiss while her laughter rang out with each peck.
“Okay, okay!” you finally surrendered, looking up at her with a tender smile. “Will you be my girlfriend?” you asked again, your voice warm and sincere.
“Duh!” Aeri squealed, she couldn’t contain herself as she leaned down, closing the distance between you. Her lips met yours in a deep and longing kiss as you snaked your arm around her waist. Everything in the moment was warm and soft, brimming with excitement. You could feel her seemingly melt into you with the way her hands gently cupped your face, pulling you closer like she’d been waiting for this moment for a long time. (You both were)
You couldn’t help but smile into the kiss—it felt like everything had finally fallen into place.
First I love you
Since getting together, your Friday nights through Sunday mornings were habitually spent at Aeri's apartment. This super early morning was just like the rest. The soft hues of the sunrise peeked through the small gap in her blackout curtains, casting a gentle glow over the room. The light stirred both of you awake, but neither of you was quite ready to leave the warmth of the bed. Aeri shuffled lazily, her body repositioning itself into the familiar crook of your neck, her hand resting gently on your chest.
Half-awake, you instinctively wrapped your arms around her, pulling her close. Without thinking, you pressed a soft, sleepy kiss to her forehead before sinking back into the comfortable haze of sleep.
An hour (or so) had passed, though it felt like quick moments, before you began to stir again. Your movements awoke Aeri, her body shifting as her eyes fluttered open, still hazy with sleep.
“Mmm,” she muttered, her eyes half-closed as she stretched one arm out lazily, her body snuggling deeper into yours.
You took the opportunity to nuzzle your face into the crook of her neck, inhaling the familiar, comforting scent of her skin as she wrapped her arm around you tighter.
“Hi, baby~,” you rasped, your voice still thick with sleepiness, your warm breath grazing her neck.
“G’morning,” she replied, her voice equally soft as her hand absentmindedly stroked your hair near your temple.
“Did you sleep well?” you mumbled, your eyes still closed as your leg slid to intertwine with hers, pulling her (impossibly) closer.
“Mhm..~” she hummed, her lips brushing lightly against your forehead in a sleepy kiss, which you returned with a soft kiss to her neck causing her to shutter.
For a while, the two of you lay in a comfortable silence, tangled together in a mess beneath the sheets. You could feel Aeri’s warmth against you, and the steady rhythm of her breathing lulled you back into a peaceful daze.
But then Aeri shifted again, her body stretching out as she let out a soft, tired groan.
“Baby~” she cooed sweetly, “I’m hungry.”
You felt her looking down at you, but your arms were still tightly wrapped around her waist, unwilling to let her go. “Five more minutes?” you whined, your voice muffled as you buried your face in her chest.
She giggled softly, running her fingers through your hair. “Mmm... okay,” she relented, her voice filled with sweetness. She could never say no to you when you looked so adorable, all sleepy and cuddly.
Inevitably, you both fell back asleep, the soft warmth of the morning wrapping around you like a nice blanket. You weren’t sure how much time had passed when you awoke again (maybe 20 minutes), but this time  the bed was empty. The absence of Aeri’s warmth made you frown a little, and the quiet clattering from the kitchen telling you where she’d gone.
Groggily, you got up, tidied the bed a bit, and slipped on your house shoes. As you made your way to the kitchen, the smell of doenjang jjigae filled the air, instantly waking you up.
“Aeri~! What’s this?” you mumbled, your voice still heavy with sleep as you stretched, making your way toward her.
She turned toward you with a playful smirk. Dressed in nothing but an (your) oversized t-shirt and panties, she looked effortlessly gorgeous. “Oh, good morning to you too,” she teased. “Your bedhead looks cute.” She ruffled your hair a bit
You grinned lazily, stepping closer to her, grabbing her hand and placing a quick kiss to it. “Oh, I’m glad. I actually styled it just for you,” you quipped before leaning down to plant a quick ‘good morning’ kiss on her lips.
“Oh, really?” she laughed softly, turning back to the stove as if she hadn’t been affected, but you caught the slight blush dusting her cheeks.
“Mmm,” was all you could manage in reply, the smell of the food and the coziness of the morning settling in. You wandered off to turn on the TV, opening up Netflix to put on a drama in the background as you tidied up the apartment that (at this point)  felt just as much yours as hers.
As you sank into the couch, you asked, “Need any help?”
Aeri shook her head, her attention still focused on the stove. “Nope, I’ve got it! I wanted to make you breakfast today.”
You chuckled at her determination in her voice, letting her take charge, though you couldn’t help but watch her out of the corner of your eye.
After a bit, Aeri groaned out an exasperated “Fuck,” and you glanced up from your phone, concerned if she had hurt herself or something.
“What’s happened, baby?” you asked, turning your phone off and setting it aside.
“Oh nothing, I was gonna make you a coffee and myself some green tea, but I just realized I ran out of ocha last week and forgot I didn’t pick any up yesterday, ugh! Like I was supposed to” she huffed, clearly disappointed.
A lightbulb appeared above your head as you were reminded “Oh babe! Check in the freezer,” you said casually. “I noticed you were low a few days ago, so I stopped by the Japanese market on 5th Street and grabbed your favorite. Ahh~ My bad I totally forgot to tell you”
“Ahh see! This is why I love you! Thank you Y/n!” she said enthusiastically.
Aeri continued for a second, her hands still submerged in the water as she was washing the rice. 
You both froze.
Moments passed as you both processed what she had just said,
A teasing smile tugged at your lips as you made your way smoothly from the couch and you leaned against the counter. “You what me, Aeri?”
“Wait no wait!”
The color rose quickly to her cheeks, turning a shade of red you weren’t sure you had ever seen before. “N-nothing!” she stammered, her flustered voice almost a whisper.
You smirked, taking slow steps toward her. Flustered Aeri was a rare and delightful sight. “Mhm... right.”
As she tried to focus back on washing the rice, you snuck up behind her, wrapping your arms around her waist and pressing a teasing kiss to her neck. “Say it again,” you whispered against her skin, enjoying the way she tensed up slightly in response.
“Oh stop~,” she whined playfully, trying to shrink down, but you weren’t going to let her off the hook.
You turned off the water, spinning her around gently so she was facing you. Before she could protest, you lifted her onto the counter, stepping between her legs and placing your hands on her hips.
“I love you too, Aeri Uchinaga,” you said softly, leaning in until your lips were just inches from hers. “Now say it again.”
The kiss that followed was tender, her lips soft against yours as her arms wrapped around your neck, pulling you even closer. When you finally broke the kiss, her eyes met yours, sparkling with a mix of affection and shyness.
“I love you, Y/N L/N,” she repeated, her voice quieter but filled with sincerity.
You grinned, brushing your nose against hers playfully. “Your hands are wet, by the way” you teased.
“Shut up, don’t ruin the moment,” she laughed, wiping her soaking wet hands on the back of your shirt before pulling you back into another kiss.
First time
Finals were just around the corner, and two of your dumbass professors decided to have an exam a week before their scheduled finals.
So, it’s a week before your two exams, and two weeks before your scheduled finals, and you’re about to arrive at Aeri’s place—to study, of course. 
You arrive in a cutoff and sweats, your hair messily tied up, and your glasses on. Aeri couldn’t help but notice how hot you looked.
You smiled as soon as you saw her. “Hi, baby~,” you said, pulling her into a big hug and giving her a quick kiss. She smiled back, squeezing you tight for a second before letting go.
You made your way to your usual spot—the one you had officially claimed months ago. Normally, the comfort of Aeri’s apartment would ease any stress lingering from your day. But today felt different. As you sat down, a heavy sigh escaped your lips, and Aeri (also) couldn’t help but giggle quietly at how frazzled you looked.
Any other day, she’d take the chance to tease you, probably throwing in a playful jab about how cute you were when stressed. But today, she sensed you weren’t in the mood. Instead, Aeri focused on her own work, letting the comfortable silence between you settle in as you both fell into an easy rhythm, side by side. Despite the closeness, it felt like you were worlds apart—your mind tangled up in studying and exams, while Aeri’s gaze drifted over to you every now and then.
Without you noticing, she snapped a few sneaky photos of you as you sat there, brow furrowed in frustration, your lip caught between your teeth in the way it always did when you were deep in concentration. Aeri smiled softly to herself, finding the sight ‘sooo cute’ despite your obvious stress.
Aeri stood in the kitchen, humming softly as she worked on making a quick study break snack, her ears tuned into your rant as you sat at the table, laptop open, books spread out around you.
“I just don’t fucking understand why they’d schedule exams a week before finals week,” you huffed, fingers tapping rapidly on your keyboard, frantically searching the internet for a damn answer on your practice test. “It’s like they did this shit on purpose babe! Like they wanted me to suffer”
Aeri chuckled softly from the kitchen. “Oh yeah! I think I heard they had a meeting on ‘how to make your life terrible’ ” she teased, the playfulness in her voice catching your attention for just a moment.
You barely looked up from your laptop, rolling your eyes while you took your hair out of the bun and ran your fingers through your hair. You continued to vent before going back to your screen. Your eyes were back to being glued to the screen, fingers flying over the keys. “I don’t fucking doubt that, god I feel like like I’m on the brink of losing it if I don’t start retaining this bullshit anytime soon” you muttered.
Aeri’s footsteps padded softly across the kitchen as she finished garnishing the fried tteokboki, setting it down on the table where you were. “I don’t know how you do it,” she said casually, her tone light. “ Maybe you should take a break pretty...”
Your eyes flicked up briefly as you gave her a small, dismissive and tired smile. “I know..” you sighed “I just need to finish this and—”
“You look really hot when you’re focused, you know?” Aeri’s voice dropped slightly, the casual playfulness gone, replaced by something a little more mischievous.
Your fingers paused mid-type, your heart skipping a beat at her comment. “W-what?” you asked, turning your head to meet her gaze.
She smiled, but there was a flicker of something else in her eyes—something teasing, almost daring. “Almost makes me jealous of that assignment you’re paying so~ much attention to.”
You swallowed, her words slowly sinking in as the tension in the room shifted. “Aeri,” you started, your voice hesitant, but she was already moving closer to you.
She crossed the distance between you in a stride, her fingers brushing lightly against your shoulders as she stood behind you. Her touch was feather-light, but it sent a spark through you as her breasts pressed up against you. “I just can’t get over how good you look tonight,” she murmured, her breath warm against your ear. “Wonder what it would take to get you to pay that kind of attention to me..”
Her fingers traced a slow line down your arms, and you felt your heart race as her hands rested lightly on your shoulders, her thumbs making small circles against your skin. The warmth of her body behind you, the casual confidence in her voice—it was enough to make your mind go blank, the rant you’d been lost in completely forgotten.
“I... I,” you mumbled, but even you could hear how weak your nervous protest sounded.
“Mm,” Aeri hummed softly, interrupting your stuttering as she leaned in, her lips grazing close to your ear. “How ‘bout  just a little break? For me, baby?” she murmured, her fingers brushing your hair aside before placing a lingering kiss on your neck.
The warmth of her body so close to yours made the air feel thicker and heavier. Her hands shifted ever so slightly, sending a shiver up your spine. Your fingers hovered uselessly over the keyboard, your mind entirely abandoning your exams. All you could focus on was her, commanding your attention in a way that no textbook, no deadline, no nothing ever could.
“Ah~ fuck,” you sighed, leaning back into her touch, feeling the tension in your body ease. “I’m all yours,” you murmured, your voice breathy as you tilted your neck slightly, offering her more space.
“That’s my girl..”
She took full advantage, planting soft, lingering kisses from your neck up to your jawline before finally capturing your lips. Unable to resist, you pulled her around into your lap, and she straddled you, the closeness intensifying as both of you sank deeper into the kiss. Your hands instinctively found their way to her back, pressing her closer, while her fingers trailed up to your shoulders and tangled gently in your hair.
Slowly, your hands slid down to her lower back, pausing at the curve of her hips as you pulled her closer. She broke the kiss, her forehead pressing against yours, her breath coming in with shallow and needy gasps and you breathed them in. Her eyes were glazed with desire, a smirk playing at her lips.
“I need you, Y/n,” she whispered, her voice a mix of softness and urgency.
You looked at her, equally breathless, feeling every ounce of longing she held in her gaze. “Fuck~, I need you too,” you murmured in one breath before pulling her back in, your mouths meeting in a kiss that was all heat and intensity, tongues meeting halfway. Your hands roamed her back, tracing along her spine, and a shiver ran through you as her fingers grazed your skin, tugging at the hem of your shirt.
Without breaking contact, you hooked your arms under her legs, lifting her effortlessly as she wrapped her legs around your waist. You walked her down the hallway and managed to open her bedroom door with your foot, carrying her inside until her knees met the edge of the bed, where she let herself fall, pulling you down with her.
You caught yourself just before you landed, her arms still wrapped around your neck, keeping you inches from her lips. She giggled, her eyes dancing with mischief.
“Still wanna study?” she purred, her voice teasing.
“Oh, shut the fuck up,” you replied, a grin tugging at your lips as you leaned down to press soft, lingering kisses along her neck.
A soft moan escaped her lips as she tilted her head to give you better access. “That’s what I thought,” she murmured, her fingers weaving into your hair, holding you close.
“You’re so annoying,” you muttered playfully, pressing another kiss just below her jaw. Her eyes met yours, a gleam of challenge in them.
“And you like it,” she whispered, pulling you impossibly closer, her fingers tracing gentle patterns down your back.
You hummed in agreement, pressing your forehead against hers again. “Mhm,” you replied, voice low and filled with affection.
Your lips trailed down Aeri’s jaw, planting painfully slow kisses along her neck, each one drawing out a soft sigh from her. You could feel her hands gliding down your back.
Just as you were fully lost in her, her fingers moved lower, grazing along your inner thigh with feather-light touches that sent sparks up your spine and to your core. You let out a quiet gasp, which only made her smile even more, her eyes glinting with mischief.
She let out a teasing laugh as her fingers lingered at the inside of your thigh, not quite giving you what you wanted.
“Aeri…” you breathed out, the heat in your voice making her chuckle softly again.
But instead of moving her hand to where it should be, she slid it back up slowly, bringing it to rest just below your waist.
God she was teasing you
 As she did, you moved your hands up, slipping under her shirt to rest on her waist before slowly sliding higher. Your fingers found the soft curve of her perfect tits, and her breath hitched as your hands squeezed gently.
Her soft, breathy moans fueled you, and you pressed gentle kisses along her collarbone, slowly making your way to the curve of her chest, savoring the warmth of her skin beneath your lips. She arched under your touch, fingers threading through your hair, each sound she made, made you even wetter than you already were.
Letting out a soft sigh, you leaned in, brushing your lips across the peak of her soft perky nipple while using your warm breath to tease her with a smirk. Your free hand found its way to her other nipple, gently pinching it. The cadence of her breath quickened and  her hips began to slowly buck as if searching for some sort of release.
 A satisfied, desire-filled grin spread across your face as you watched your girlfriend unravel, her usually sleek black hair now a tangled mess against the silk pillowcase, her brows knitted in both frustration and neediness.
Aeri’s breaths deepened as your touch sent little shivers through her, her fingers curling around your shoulders, grounding herself against you. Your lips hovered just above her perfectly hard nipple, her skin flushed with anticipation.
“Please,” she whispered, voice barely audible. If you hadn’t been watching her so closely, you probably would have missed it.
You raised an eyebrow, teasing. “What was that, Aeri?”
She turned her head to the side, (trying to hide as much of herself as she could into the pillow), clearly flustered and embarrassed, before whispering again, “Please…”
Gently, you brought her chin forward, guiding her to look at you. “I can’t help you, baby.. if you don’t use your words. You didn’t seem to have any trouble being mouthy earlier, huh?” You shot her a playful and challenging look.
Her eyes fluttered open and her cheeks flushed even deeper, and she took a breath before meeting your gaze. “Please… suck on my… nipples’”
“That's my good girl” you gave her a smug grin before averting your attention to her chest.
You (finally) insatiably wrapped your lips around her nipple which elicited a gaspy moan
“Fuck..”. Aeri’s head fell back, her nails digging into your shoulders as you continued savoring each bud, your attention fully on Aeri as her gasps filled the room. You smiled against her beautiful tits, feeling the heat radiating from them. Her fingers tangled through your hair even more, making you stay as close as possible as your kisses and gentle nibbles drew more and more breathy moans from her.
Letting one hand roam lower, you found her clit, tracing slow circles with your middle finger through the thin soaked fabric of her panties. Her body responded with each touch, soft and needy sighs slipping past her lips and she began to grind on your fingers needing more than what you were allowing her. You glanced up, catching her expression—a mixture of bliss and anticipation, her eyes half-lidded as she met your gaze with a dazed smile.
“Need something, princess?,” you murmured with a grin and an arrogant glint in your eye, trailing more kisses along her skin, taking your time. Each new touch, every small shift in pressure, had her melting beneath you and her pussy dripping for more.
Aeri secretly loved hated this. Where did this sudden surge of confidence in you come from? Wasn’t she supposed to be the one making you beg and pleading to touch her? Why did the fact that you have her completely under your control make you so fucking hot and her so turned on? UGH! The tables had turned and it was as exhilarating as it was maddening.
“N-no…” she managed, her voice shaky as she bit down on her lip in frustration, fighting to regain some sense of control.
Slowly, you lifted your hand from her now-ruined underwear. “Well, I could just stop here. I mean, I do have to study—
Her hand moved faster than lighting, gripping your wrist firmly, threatening to leave a mark. “Don’t you…fucking…dare,” she breathed 'threateningly', guiding your hand back to her pulsing clit as her hips jutted forward trying to meet you halfway.
“Or what?” You raised an eyebrow, stopping just shy of her needy pussy, knowing you had the upper hand this time. You fucking loved seeing her like this—Her playful bitchiness, unbreakable attitude, all crumbling away because you wouldn’t fuck her like the brat she is.
Suddenly, her bratty facade wavered, and her voice softened. “Please…” Tears threatened to spill as she whispered, arching herself toward your touch trying to find some sort of relief, her voice barely audible. “Mm-Please, I need you…need you to fuck me so bad…” She finally muttered out
You grinned, feeling the satisfaction of winning this round. “Anything you want, my pretty girl,” you said, savoring the way her eyes rolled back with need.
With a quick motion, you rid her of her drenched panties, and your finger began to trace gentle circles around her swollen clit, making her gasp. You ran your hand along her slit to wetten your finger with her juices, taking in each small reaction as her breath quickened, her voice slipping into load moans. Aeri was a complete moaning mess at this point and you haven’t even finished her off yet. Her hair was splayed out and droplets of drool ran down from her chin to her collarbone as her mouth was open.
You lifted her head gently with your free hand, making her meet your gaze. Slowly, you withdrew your long  finger from her wet slick, and before she could protest the missing feeling, you pressed it to her lips, your thumb brushing her chin.
 “Tell me how good you taste, baby,” you cooed, holding her gaze. She drew your finger into her mouth, swirling her tongue around it, ensuring every drop of herself was savored while tears spilled from the creases of her eyes while you fucked her throat with your finger.
With a soft pop, you pulled your finger back, using your thumb to brush the excess salina from her lips. “I taste…so fucking good,” she whispered, breathless, before pulling you in for a kiss, sharing the taste of her with you.
Your tongues danced together as your now lubricated finger found its way back down,  and you teased her entrance briefly before going deeper, making her let out a gasp against your mouth. 
You kept a steady rhythm, her moans mixing with the sound of your movements. Her head fell back, and she guided your mouth to her neck.
Aeri let out a loud moan into your ear, pausing a bit as your digit inched deeper and deeper inside her.
Once fully inside, “You okay?” You asked, your voice laced with genuine concern
“Mhm,” she winced with pleasure “More than okay”
You pulled her back in for a kiss as you continued to keep pumping into her, keeping a steady pace.
The noises from her dripping wet cunt and her loud moans filled her bedroom and she gently pushed your head from her neck/mouth towards her milky white breasts
“Please~ I need you to.. Suck on them” 
Well... Who were you to deny your beautiful girlfriend?
You took one of her perky nubs into your mouth, using your front teeth to slightly nibble on them, causing her to moan louder than before as you felt her tighten around your finger.
“Oh~ Y/n.. please.. Please don’t stop.. I’m so” her sentence was interrupted by another lewd moan as you finger hooked at the right angle, finding her G-spot
“Fuckfuckfuck baby! P-plea~” she let out, her hand digging her nails into the back of your neck and upper back (probably) drawing blood
You pulled your mouth away from her nipple, “Are you going to be my good girl and say my name when you cum?” You said, looking up at her
You noticed she gasped in shock as her nipple suddenly lost the warmth from your mouth, brows furrowing even more
Desperately she tried to push you back on to her nipple, she was so close to her high but needed your mouth so~ badly to reach it.
“Yesyes ah~ fuck baby! I’ll be your good girl and cum.. Ah~ just for you” She used her free hand. desperately rubbing her clit
Your name felt like sweet honey as it rolled off her tongue, you couldn’t help but insatiably pump faster in her. Her moans, the wet sounds from her dripping wet cunt, along with the thought of her screaming your name. You almost finished right then and there.
“Oh fuck, Y/n y/n y/n,” she screamed out like some sort of mantra, “I’m gon-”
“You gonna cum just for me?” You bit into her neck, sucking and marking her as yours while moaning right into her ear.
“Yesyesyes, I’m.. fuck~!  all yours Y/n~!” she yelped, she tightened around your fingers as her juices pooled into the palm of your hand and you gently slowed down the pace to ride her high as long as possible while she cried into your neck.
After a moment, She shuttered from her high and found herself in the crook of your neck for a bit, while both of you caught your breath for a second. She winced a bit as you removed your digit from her wetness and sucked it off quickly before wrapping your arms around her.
Another moment passed and a surge of embarrassment rushed through you as you realized her neighbors most definitely knew your name now. The sole thought of that  made your cheeks heat up.
Moments of silence passed of you both catching your breath, you finally calmed down and  gave her a soft kiss on the forehead before wrapping your arms around her fully. She sighed contentedly, her fingers tracing light, lazy patterns on your shoulder near your back.
In the quiet that followed, with both of you still laying there, you broke the silence. “Are you okay, baby?” you asked, your voice (still) breathless but full of tenderness as you looked down at her.
She nodded, smiling softly as she nuzzled closer. “More than okay,” she murmured, her voice laced with warmth. “Are you okay?
“Yeah” You gave her another kiss on the cheek “ I’m just.. A bit surprised” a sly smile crept on your lips
She looked up at you, sweat glistening off her skin while her hair stuck to her and raised a warning eyebrow as if she was thinking 'watch what you say', “mhm?”
“Ya know... for as mean as you are,  I never expected you to beg like that” you teased
“Oh, you shut the fuck up!” she laughed, giving your shoulder a playful smack, which only prompted you to wrap her up in your arms as a reflexive defense.
“I’m for sure putting you in your place tonight,” she murmured, her voice low and rich with desire as she pulled you in for a deep and needy kiss.
749 notes · View notes
lulujeno · 4 months ago
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finding out you sleep with a plushie
— nct dream ᡣ𐭩
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cw : none! 100% fluff ^^
a/n : my tumblr debut yay! tried to make it as gender neutral as possible so i hope you enjoyyy
mark:
came home late from practice and found you sleeping on the couch with a winnie-the-pooh plushie tucked under your arms
first time seeing you sleep with the plushie despite knowing that you can't sleep without it
takes note of it for future occurrences
going on a flight? road trip? staying at your friends place? he will for sure remind you about the plush
when you forget the plushie at his place he will have it sitting on his bed against a pillow (sometimes 'reading' one of his books)
every time he sees winnie-the-pooh now he will take a quick pic of it to send to you
"yooooo why this lowkey looks like you"
doesn't forget to remind you that you're cuter tho
poor markie was so panicked when he couldn't find the plush after you texted him that you left it at his place
had a whole apology written down knowing how precious it was since its your childhood plushie
promised to buy you the exact same one and is basically crying now because he knows that it won't be able to replace the one you had
luckily he found it under his bed so we're all good!
renjun:
you were taking a nap on his bed when he saw you hugging a duck plushie
takes a quick pic for memories sake (and to tease you about it in the near future)
since then his little notes for you include a small duck doodle on it
"left early for practice 𓅭" "leftovers are in the fridge 𓅿" "goodluck for the interview today 𓅹"
when he's overseas for schedules he'll find something with ducks on it to give to you as a little souvenir
kisses both you and the duck when he sees you asleep after a long day (it calms him down)
would ask who's cuter, him or duckie?
you jokingly say duckie which causes him to nag to your plushie about stealing his partner
ducks are now his new favourite thing to draw (lyric sheets are his no. 1 victim)
when you couldn't find the plush he offers himself as something for you to cuddle with
resulted in him getting smacked and proceeding to help you find the duck
gets sulky after, saying that hes better at cuddling than the "piece of fluff"
you coo at his jealousy over a stuffed toy and cuddle the both of them
jeno:
he arrived at your place a little later than usual and sees you tucked in with a black bunny
he coos at how adorable the sight is and takes a picture to set as one of his many lockscreens of you
noticed that its the bunny he bought for you before he went on tour for tds2
"if you miss me just cuddle the bunny okay? he has black hair like me so it wouldnt be that much of a difference"
obviously cuddling a grown man and a 31cm plushie is different but what can you do when he's halfway across the globe?
also the type to kiss you and your bunny goodnight
caught him doing it one day and now try to stay awake long enough to catch him doing it again
you fail to do so since his schedules always end soooo late f u sm!!
would give your bunny a wash once every few months since the bunny is a representation of him and he takes personal hygiene very seriously! (his words, not yours)
the bunny would have a new ribbon tied to its ears, depending on what colour his hair is this time (always praying for the pink or white ribbon to come back one day)
gets jealous that you cuddle the bunny more than him
you'd get back at him saying that he's the one that bought the bunny
haechan:
could not shut up when he realised that the plushie you couldn't sleep without was a brown bear
teases you to no end because everyone knows the he is the og brown bear
he finds it too cute that you need a mini him to sleep
"awwwh, you're so in love with me that your plushie is basically me"
you tell him that its just a basic bear, theres no deeper meaning to it
you did buy it because it looks like him but he can't know that! the teases will be insufferable
doesn't care if it had another name before hand because it is now haechan jr.
if he sees the plush on the floor he'll pick it up and tuck it under your arms
the type to tell the little guy to take care of you in your sleep
you'd buy a mini version for him to bring around for schedules and tours
gives you updates about mini haechan jr. every second
practice room? recording studio? m/v shoot? fansign? filming 7llin? you will be getting updates!! not missing a single one
would post haechan jr. and mini haechan jr. on his instagram as a soft launch
it's a little too soft but its okay since you both want to keep it on the downlow anyways
jaemin:
found you sleeping one night with a pink bunny hidden under the blanket next to you
was cooing at how cute the sight was
also one to take pics because that's his partner!! why wouldn't he?
had to hold himself back from pinching your cheeks and opted to pat your head instead
will ask about it the next time he sees you and wont stop telling you how cute you are
you left it at his place once and suddenly theres a ribbon on your bunny's ears (i wonder who added it)
caught him having a full on conversation with your bunny a few times damn your bf is weird
basically treats the bunny like his child at this point
will remind you to bring your bunny when going on overnight trips with him
will not stop taking pictures of the bunny (he has a whole file for it on his phone btw)
"aigoooo look how adorable she is"
"awww both my babies look so cute I have to take a pic"
also one to send you pics of things with bunnies on it when on tour, buys it for you too sometimes
his cats loves bitting everything, including your bunny
makes sure that its as far away from luna, lucy, and luke after he caught them trying to bite on it
you're now 100x cuter in his eyes and he wont shut up about it
chenle:
slightly smiled to himself when saw you bring a dumbo plushie the first time you slept over at his face
he bought it so of course you'll be sleeping with it
why dumbo? because he has big ears and you're nosy as hell (his words btw)
you got sulky when you heard the reason and he corrected himself and said that it was because he was a yapper and you're the listener instead
starts calling you dumbo and the plushie dumbo jr. instead
would also ask to pick between him and the plushie
got so offended when you picked dumbo
"i am THE zhong chenle, who wouldn't choose me?"
would replace the plushie with himself after you sleep since he's petty like that, he wouldn't let a stuffed toy win over him
but would also put dumbo in between your arms if he wakes up first in the morning (it's to keep you company while he's cooking breakfast)
sends you pics of daegal and dumbo together like a proud dad
he's still chenle though so dont expect your plushie to get the same dad treatment as jaemin
the type to get you more dumbo related items since dumbo is the only plushie you sleep with
jisung:
his heart melted at the sight of you sleeping on the couch with a hamster plushie squished against your cheeks
if that man wasn't a simp for you already then he is now
needs a few seconds to just admire how cute you were for faling asleep while trying to wait for him to end his schedules
he's not one to bring it up directly, but that doesn't mean he won't tease you about it from time to time
probably annoys the members (read: chenle) about how adorable his partner is when cuddled up with a plush version of him
he's so down bad but you can't blame him for being in love
took him a few nights to realise that its the plushie he bought for you when you visited him during smtown live in tokyo
got so shy and couldn't contain his smile when he realised it
would ask you if you've given the hamster a name yet and when you said you haven't he suggested 'hamster'
you don't have the heart to tell him how corny it is so you agree to it
you both are down bad!!!!
if he sees the hamster on the floor he'll dust off any possible dust before tucking it under your arms again
takes a picture to make it last longer
you leave the plush at his place on accident once
send you a message saying that he can't believe you just forgot your son like that
takes a pic of him cuddling the hamster to show that he is being taken care of no ones focusing on the doll when his hands are right there
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shuastar · 2 months ago
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ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴛᴡɪɴᴇᴅ -- ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪɴ ʙᴇᴛᴡᴇᴇɴ (pt 2) (JWW)
ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴛᴡɪɴᴇᴅ -- ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪɴ ʙᴇᴛᴡᴇᴇɴ ᴡɪɴᴛᴇʀ ꜱᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟ
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ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ᴀʀᴄʜᴅᴜᴋᴇ!ᴡᴏɴᴡᴏᴏ x ᴀʀᴄʜᴅᴜᴄʜᴇꜱꜱ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴡᴄ: 8.2 k (consistency is key??) warnings: none for now?? hot wonwoo, lowkey obsessed wonwoo, theres like a part where he's like "oh i couldn't control myself" but it's not like a sexual predator sorta way i promise, joshua featuring!! ᴀ/ɴ: i told myself i would post this before the la concert BUT i got too distracted buying a clear fucking bag from target bc i didnt know you had to bring a clear bag to us concerts??? bc ive only gone to korea concerts??? anyways, ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ʙᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ ᴘʟꜱ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴍʏ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ <3 OH also if you're confused by the (y/n) (wonwoo) parts it's like the perspective thing (the perspectives switch bc i got boredd writing only y/n pov sorry!!)
ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ ; ɴᴇxᴛ
y/n
“Your grace.” 
A silver fine-toothed comb gently brushed through your morning hair, untangling your curled knots. The winter air chilled the room and the hazy morning sunlight shined through the sheer curtains. 
You hummed in acknowledgement. 
Nai continued with her rhythmic brushing, slowly adding oils and perfumes to the ends of your hair. “I do not understand these rumors as of late, your grace,” Nai huffed, setting the comb down on the vanity desk with a little more force than necessary. 
You let out a breathy laugh, slowly running your fingers through your silken hair. “I do not think rumors exist to be understood, Nai.” 
Nai crosses her arms, the space between her eyebrows creasing. “But your grace! These rumors are absolutely outlandish! You! Infertile! I just cannot even begin to wrap my head-”
At her words, you notice a new cream-colored envelope sitting on the edge of the vanity. “-then don’t, Nai.” You look up at her. Her brown ringlets sit neatly against her shoulders and her wide hazel eyes are full of pure exasperation. It feels good, you think, to have someone care this much. It’s been a while. 
“You don’t have to understand anything for me. Rumors will remain rumors,” you hum, reaching for the envelope. 
Nai huffs in annoyance. You know it isn’t directed at you, but it still makes you smile nonetheless. Seungcheol might have been ruining your Society life, but at least he hired a maid right. Speaking of which, as your eyes glided through the contents of the palace-stamped envelope, it focused on the beginning: 
My darling archduchess y/n, 
I hope the duchy is prospering after my small present for your twenty third birthday. Speaking of, I have scheduled a tea for you in two days with Baron-
Again. Fucking again with the stupid engagement offers. If Seungcheol wasn’t the king, you would have already slapped him twice. He had always been somewhat of a parent figure in your life, especially after your grandmother’s death. But this? This was dangerously toeing the line of overstepping your boundaries. Actually, maybe the boundaries had been overstepped at your fifth engagement that ended with yet another cheating scandal. At this point, Prince Mingyu was right – how did Seungcheol even manage to conjure only cheating scandals for your shame to marinate in? 
“Whose ball are we attending tonight, Nai?” 
Nai tries to speak around the pearl bobby pin in her mouth. “Uck gong, er ace,” she starts, before she shakes her head. The bobby pin slides into your hair. “My apologies, your grace. Duke Hong’s winter season opening ball.” 
You hum, toying with the edges of the envelope. If it wasn’t considered palace property, you would have burned it. God. Seungcheol was really teething at your fraying nerves. There’s only a certain number of engagements a Society woman can go through before she is considered unmarriable. You were way past that point. 
If the king himself was not backing you, you would have already been the Society’s laughing stock. Because what failure of a woman cannot keep a man to herself for more than a couple of measly weeks?
At this point, you might as well just live and die alone. 
Duke Hong’s winter season opening ball. You wouldn’t have agreed to attend if it was hosted by anyone else. Duke Hong happened to be your fellow library attendant during your formative years at the National Academy. Really, it was a pity you could not just conjure up a lie and stay back in the safety of your room. You would, except you had a sinking feeling Joshua would send you letter after annoying letter until you finally decided to let up and attend. 
You don’t think you are fully ready for the full impact of the Society nobles just yet. To make matters worse, Nai had told you that she heard the people were giddy about the return of the Jeon Duchy to the capitol after the death of the previous heads of the house, and the return of the direct line, now the archduke, after his series of triumphant wins on the frontiers of the warring enemy country. The Society, you told yourself, was what you were afraid of. But a tiny (not so secret) part of you was not fully ready to see him again just yet.
The stuffy crowded ballroom seemed even more overpopulated under the yellow chandelier lights and the exponentially building pressure inside your chest. And Joshua’s estate’s not-so-hidden balcony did not give you enough coverage in the darkening night. If Joshua had not proposed for you to stay the night (“You should not be out after dark, y/n. Even if you have the best footmen in the world,” were his words), you would have retired to your own estate an hour ago. Actually, if Joshua had not been so adamant about your attending, you would have never left your estate in the first place.
But you could never say no to his face, especially when he pulled his little pout and sigh of faux disappointment that had followed him even out of the Academy.
There was a not-so-secret side of you that wanted to pull your hair out by the roots. The whispers, the gossips, the mumblings, the laughter that follows you wherever you go, you could do. You could live with it. You could do with it because that was what you had lived with for three years. Three miserable years of back-to-back engagements with all of High Society’s eligible men, hand-picked by the dear, beloved king. And no, of course, Seungcheol was not to carry the entire burden of blame. You blamed every single elder in your family and the royal courts. Every male figure in your life expects you to marry some rich, handsome man. If he knew how to dance, drink, breathe, and hold some semblance of self respect, he was eligible in their eyes. Even if, in the dark cover of night, they leave their homes and sneak onto the back alleyways of carnal desire. 
Each season of Society that passes by you is another couple of months in which your vain, naive, wishful childhood dream of wanting to marry for love!! could not come true. In some ways, it was because you fully believe that love has its time (and your time had passed away three years ago), but also because sometimes, you had learned to give up things you innately wanted for something that would benefit you a little more in the future. Something that would cause you less pain. Something that could slowly become something you love.
You feel the built-up tears fill your eyes, champagne flute resting loosely between your gloved fingers. For a moment, you wish your grandmother was back with you. She would know what to do, what to say, what to choose. You wish she could have been there, three years ago, when you tried desperately to balance the exhausting, choking, mountains of pressure of an archduchess and a fragmented heart, which slowly shattered into unmendable glass pieces. You wish she could have pulled Wonwoo aside then and told him how you had suffered, maybe bring up even a smidge of guilt, worry, regret, something. 
But that’s all wishful thinking, y/n, you chide yourself. Let it go, like you have done for the past three years. 
But he wasn’t here during the three years, you wish you could argue. You wish you could hope for something and follow the tugs of your heart, but there is a shallow part of your mind that tells you no. Because the first time ended in shambles. Made you the laughing stock for two whole seasons. Kick-started your rather permanent fixture in the Society’s rumor mills. And just as you thought you had figured everything out, he comes waltzing back into your life – as part of the same royal council – like he had never left. And that in itself left a gaping, bubbling hole of rage in your heart. 
The thin wooden door and curtain that separates you from the rest of the dancing ballroom flutters with the breeze. Your head pounds along with the bass of the cello inside – not too sure if it was caused by the champagne flute in your gloved hand or the incessant whispers that had followed your footsteps inside. 
“Why did you have to come back,” you mutter bitterly, gazing up at the darkened night sky. A disbelieving laugh and a shake of your head. “Stop thinking about-”
 You cut yourself off when the balcony door suddenly creaks open. You turn with half a mind to tell off whoever was bold enough to interrupt your obvious solitude. However, that train of thought very quickly comes to an end when you look back over your shoulder. The face you see almost makes you want to let out a laugh. 
The very man you were ranting to yourself about stands in the curtained doorway. You hate that you can’t see his eyes behind his glasses in this light. 
You open your mouth, nose scrunching in annoyance, about to say something along the lines of why the fuck are you here or do you find pleasure in giving me pain or can you leave, before the clouds move from the moon and you actually take him in. And not just take him in but take him in. 
Wonwoo is standing there, chest rising and falling like he had just raced to the ball on his horse or had run around the entire Hong Estate trying to find something. Now, in the soft rays of the moonlight and the biting early-winter breeze, you can see his dark eyes behind his glasses – guarded. But as you study his (rather chiseled) face, he’s changed somehow. Your last memories of a twenty-one-year-old Wonwoo do not show the sharp intense prick of his gaze as it holds your own. You don’t remember it holding the same sort of pain and weight – like he was Atlas, holding the weight of the world on his broad shoulders. 
Handsome, you think. But it’s gone before you can put a finger on it to hold it down long enough to fully think about it. You can’t really describe Wonwoo in words. That was something you had decided a long time ago. 
He was handsome in the old-fashioned sense. A straight nose, dark almond eyes, the slightest permanent downturn of his lips. His defined jawline and his glasses that he had grown into. He was handsome in the most eligible bachelor sense. If your mother was still alive, she would have wanted you to be courted by him – no one less and no one more because there was no one more. And perhaps that was why you had been so over-the-top with him before: he was everything your mom would have adored – tall, pale, smart, handsome, built. 
You steel yourself, letting a soft breath escape you before you say, “Your grace,” the title sounds oddly cold now coming from your parted lips, “this is hardly the place for a welcomed noble.” You hate how your voice trembles ever so slightly at the end. Perhaps you had not been as ready for this as you thought you were.  
Your voice seems to snap Wonwoo back to life. His lips twitch slightly but his expression remains frustratingly unreadable. “Just,” he starts, before his eyes glance at the floor, “I needed a moment,” he finally replies. And this time, his gaze is locked on yours. 
Your throat tightens at his reply. 
If you were nineteen-
No. You were not nineteen or twenty anymore. He had left. 
Like everyone else did.
“So did I.” You take a small step backwards before whispering, “I always do.” 
You think Wonwoo is going to continue the conversation, however strained, but he lets a silence hang in the air. It grows so thick you feel like it steals some of your oxygen away. You wonder if Wonwoo is also thinking about the past – about three years ago, about when you had nothing to worry about but being yourselves and completing school, when you had thought you would not inherit such a pressuring role until you were happily married for love. Like idiots. But even if he isn’t thinking the same thing as you, the silence is almost palpable in the air. Like it is giving room, a lost opportunity back. 
Wonwoo’s eyes linger on you – not just your face but you – like he’s trying to make sense of the very thing you had tried your best to bury deep inside of you. Like he wanted you to either throw it all back up or he wanted to personally haul it to the surface. And you hated how he could make you feel naked, vulnerable, weak and like a naive, stupid child with just one look. 
Finally, he whispers softly, “It’s been a long time, y/n.” 
His voice is deep and not at all how you remembered it from three years ago. It seems different from his soft murmurs you had barely heard during his royal reentry ball. Your pulse jumps traitorously. 
“Not long enough, it seems.” The words are supposed to come out icy, but it doesn’t come out as hard as you had hoped. Instead, your voice has a rather meek tone to it, as if even your vocal chords knew something you refused to admit. 
Wonwoo doesn’t answer. The only indicator that he heard you at all is the brief upward twitch of his eyebrows. 
You’re too proud, you know, to look away first. And you know what that will do. You can already feel the old memories – the ones you had (wished) long buried in the deepest parts of your fragmented heart – creep up: the warmth of the sun on your skin exposed on your sundress as you walked the grassy walkways of the park; the quiet laughs during an royal-sponsored opera; the knowing glances exchanged during another one of Mingyu’s complaints about a possible partner. 
A burst of sudden loud laughter and chatter from below the balcony makes you whip around in a speed your grandmother would have called “excruciatingly unladylike,” and catch the tip of your heel in the grooves of the marble flooring. You have one second to register Wonwoo’s eyes widening and another second that is wasted on trying to save your champagne flute, before your palms are flat against Wonwoo’s defined chest. Your shattered champagne flute glints against the thin moonlight, forgotten at the sudden intrusion of your privacy – a sudden casualty of his presence. 
His hands are barely there on your waist – the only things that are preventing you from falling off the rather low balcony railing are his arms, wrapped around your frame. His face is taut, as if he was actually worried about you falling off, and your corset feels excruciatingly tight around your straining ribs. 
His stare is heavy and it feels like that one time again. Like when he whisked you away for your first dance as a debutante and accidentally dipped you in the middle of your opening waltz and you stayed there until the eye contact became unbearably awkward. He is doing the same thing – mouth just barely open, eyes unblinking and hands fleeting on your waist. 
You can feel his entire chest under the thin fabric of his white button down. You go to push him away but something makes you hesitate. 
You look up at him, breath hitching automatically at the closeness between you two. 
“Wonwoo,” you whisper, fingers digging in just a little bit, “this is…” you trail off, too breathless and gobsmacked at this entire situation to continue. You just hope he is smart enough to fill in the rather obvious blanks. 
You try to shake off the small detail that your eyes keep wandering back to Wonwoo’s arms, straining against his tailored suit. Small military stars adorn his collar, and you briefly wonder if you can blame his new aura of attractive ruggedness on the war and not your own deprived state of imagination. 
You can feel Wonwoo’s grip on your waist tighten, a small crease appearing between his brow. His voice is a low murmur amongst the laughing crowd behind the curtain. 
“Are you alright?” he asks. His breath fans over your lips. His voice is quiet and gentle – too gentle, too familiar. 
You nod. You physically can’t bring yourself to pull away. You know, you know, what this would look like if someone just simply opens the balcony door. But in your proximity, Wonwoo’s cologne of some sort of earthy, gilded scent fills your senses and overwhelms your thoughts.
“Yes,” you manage, although it’s barely audible. “Your grace,” you add, hoping it would force distance, force out proximity. You swallow down the lump in your throat. Your lace-covered fingers pull at your gloves. 
The title stings the tip of your tongue as it leaves. 
The corners of his lips pull down at the utterance of the formal title leaving your lips. His forehead creases as if the formality of your words had disrupted some sort of intercontinental balance in him. “I apologize if I intruded and startled you,” he breathes, almost too quietly. Then, softer, as if he could not help himself, “y/n.” 
Your name flows off of his tongue like a familiar melody – as if he had never gone away. You want to argue that he had no right to say your name – let it roll off his tongue so gently, as if he had caressed every syllable of your name. You want to yell at him to use your title. But you don’t.
Your fingers tighten on the lapels of his coat.
Under his heavy stare, you can’t help but feel seventeen again: waltzing gracefully up and down the gilded ballroom floors of every season’s opening ball; laughing under the Jeon Duchy’s library’s dim chandelier candle-light; walking down the Capitol’s Main Road, disguised as the common people, during the Mid Autumn Festivals. It’s like everything you had ever experienced with the man standing in front of you crashes into your pressured body like a tidal tsunami wave. And it just keeps on coming. Wave after wave of endless memories that you thought you had wrapped and hidden in the deepest parts of your brain, being uprooted from their perfectly comfortable spot and forced back into the main chamber of your heart. 
To make matters worse, Wonwoo just stares. His expression is silent, unreadable. Not a single word leaves his mouth. Nor a noise. He just stares, like he knows what he’s doing. Like he knows exactly what’s going on inside your head. 
It’s as if the entire room – the whole world – comes to a timeless standstill. You can faintly hear the orchestra playing a classical waltz – your favorite – in the ballroom and the taps of heels as the ladies dance the night away. 
It’s as if Wonwoo’s gaze pierces you to your soul. As if he knew exactly how hard your heart was pounding against your rib cage. As if he could hear the stifled pants and gasps of breath you were trying to hide. His face moves ever so slightly closer to yours. Strands of black hair tickle your forehead. 
His glasses slide down slowly from the bridge of his nose. 
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, voice thick with an emotion you can’t place. Grief? Regret? 
You look up at him at his sudden apology. “For what, your grace?” You stubbornly keep the title. As if it could push you two apart. As if it could mask the thundering pounding of your poor heart. 
For a second, Wonwoo looks almost pained. But it washes over back to his vague expressionless face again. You briefly wonder when his youthful tugs of emotion had disappeared. 
“Everything,” he murmurs, and you feel his hand slowly make its way up – first your waist, shoulders, fingertips brushing against your neck – until his gloved hand cups your jaw, thumb resting lightly against your cheekbone. 
Your eyes widen at his touches. “Won-”
“-y/n.” Wonwoo holds you like you are the only thing keeping him grounded – keeping him from flying away into the dark night sky. You see his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallows, opening his mouth again, and this time, his eyes seem much deeper. A smile – a genuine one, unlike the one from his reentry ball – curves along his lips, dimples forming at the tips. “I missed you.” 
Your entire body stiffens at his three words, and you can feel tears against your waterline. Your mouth falls open in a small ‘o’ and your hands clench tighter against his coat lapel. Your nails dig into the thick fabric. 
Not fair.
Wonwoo looks at you like you just hung up the stars and moon in the twilight expanse. 
“Wonwoo,” you mutter, looking away from his eyes. You’re afraid that if you keep eye contact, he’ll find out what you truly feel – what your walls are hiding. 
“Y/n,” he replies, before his hand gently turns your head. He sounds so confident – as if he could protect you from everything – Society, marriage, whispers, gossip. His touch is so soft, so warm, so familiar that you let yourself be turned. You let his fingertips linger on your jaw, your cheek, thumbing your lips. You let his hair droop down to your forehead. You let his eyes trail down to the necklace that rests on the space between your collarbones and trail lower and lower. You let him do everything for a second. 
And your heart stops. 
Because in the next second, his head dips. His hand on your waist tightens its grip. His thumb caresses your cheek. And his lips are on yours. 
His lips are on yours. 
Eyes closed, Wonwoo presses his lips against yours like they never left. Like his lips alone could mend the gaping hole in your heart. 
And it’s almost as if you have no control of your body because you find yourself melting into his embrace, eyes fluttering shut and hands pulling him a little closer than necessary. 
Soft, is your first thought. 
Wonwoo’s hand suddenly wraps around the back of your neck, tilting your head up to meet his lips in a deeper embrace. He breaks away for the briefest of moments, eyes dark and breath coming out in small pants like yours. You feel like your lungs are on fire. You find your hands buried in his messy black locks. 
“Fuck,” Wonwoo breathes, and you swear he looks a little crazed. Like he had been starved off of something he desperately needed for the longest time. “I missed you so much,” he confesses. 
His words trickle down your throat like agave honey – like sweet distilled liquor. It’s everything you had asked for. 
Except he’s late. Maybe too late? 
But you don’t really have the time to delve into that train of thought before Wonwoo’s lips are on yours again, stealing your words and breath from the confines of your mouth. His tongue swipes testingly against your lips and out of habit, they open the slightest bit. 
Wonwoo’s grip against your neck, your waist, is tight, like he’s afraid you’ll fall out of his arms. Like he’s so afraid of you sinking into the dark. 
And then it’s as if your entire being is suddenly wide awake – out of this weird, hazy, wrong drunken stupor. 
Because at that moment, the balcony door that had once shielded you is thrown open and loud, half-drunken conversations flood both your ears. 
You don’t even have the time to step away from Wonwoo before a scandalized gasp allows itself to pierce and fill the silenced air. 
Lady Lim stands in the doorway, her fan dangling from her hand and another holding a champagne flute. 
Your eyes snap open first. 
Out of pure fight-or-flight, you shove Wonwoo off of you, breaking the kiss immediately. Wonwoo’s eyes are wide in shock, like he did not even expect himself to kiss you. Both of your chests heave (more yours than his), and you can feel your body tremble as adrenaline runs through you. 
“Oh my!” Lady Lim’s shocked voice pierces through the night. “Oh dear, please forgive me,” she stumbles through her words, fan snapping open. You hear the quick snap of another fan unfurling and the hurried click-clack of heeled shoes running the other way. She fans herself with a dramatic flare, though her eyes never leave the scandalous little tableau that she had walked herself into. 
It’s like all blood circulation is cut off from your limbs and any blood circulating in your head rushes to your thudding heart when you finally realize just how close, how unfitting, you and Wonwoo seem. Literally, you can already hear whispers form. And you can already picture it. It’s clear as a spring morning in your head. This scandal will ripple through every single fucking household by tomorrow morning. And if not tomorrow morning, then by afternoon tea. 
“Oh I am terribly sorry,” she starts, and without even a single glance towards her, you know she knows it is you. “So very sorry,” she repeats, though it is obvious her apology is directed more towards the laughable sight of you than the indecent situation itself and the mischievous glint in her eyes tell another story. 
You can physically feel your reputation, your dignity, your name that you had worked up from absolutely nothing shatter on the floor. You can feel your stomach twisting in on itself and every little thing you ate tonight makes its slow way back up your esophagus. Your honor is at stake. And although you had said something about not marrying (ever) and just living your life in your countryside ducal house, at the end of the day, you were nothing without Society. As a woman you were absolutely nothing without Society. But Wonwoo’s grasp of you doesn't seem to falter and your inhales quicken into an almost-desperate gasp of breaths when you start to see a crowd form and whisper.
You blame it on your imagination when you think you feel Wonwoo shift slightly to completely shield you from view. His body is still too close. It’s not what you think it is, you want to scream, but you know that will only worsen the situation. Your brain feels like a ticking bomb and you briefly wonder if Joshua will save you from this situation or if you will need to figure it out yourself. Now, your breaths are clearly audible – almost gasps of oxygen as you try desperately to not cry, scream, and throw up. 
Suddenly, you feel Wonwoo slowly move his hands up towards your shoulder, gently patting it, as if to calm you. It does absolutely jack shit to calm you. You shove his hand off of your skin.
His calm voice cuts through the chatter: “This is not what it appears to be.” 
But those words and his hands only serve to quicken your anxiety-induced breath.
Wonwoo’s been out of Society, not you. You don’t even have the time to think about your shit-show of a reputation, especially now that the entire three quarters of High Society has caught you so precariously positioned. So, you shove Wonwoo off of you with all your strength. It’s not much, but he stumbles backwards, leaving you almost shaking on the small balcony, under the wide-eyed stares and the gossiping lips beneath the fans of the ballroom. If anyone was drunk, they weren’t now. How could they ever miss another one of Duchess Y/n Park’s scandals?
Your mouth went dry. If this was anywhere but your current place, you could have scoffed and then broken down into tears. At least the high heavens are serious about not letting you find a workable marriage. 
Lady Lim slowly disperses back into the crowd, only the curtain closing behind her giddy form, no doubt to tell anyone who did not know the entire story. 
The moment the curtain closes, it’s like your soul returns to your body. You collapse into your skirts, back against the iron railing. Your hands tremble until you dig your nails into your palms. 
“This is the worst fucking thing that could have happen,” you whisper, a horrified look evident in your eyes. You dare to look up at Wonwoo and you feel a tear slip out. “Why would you do that?” Your voice is hoarse, barely audible. The only thing that circles your mind is reputation, reputation, reputation, on and on and on. You try to ignore the way you pulled him close just mere seconds ago. The way you breathily moaned into his lips as well. 
That seems to work on Wonwoo because his expression immediately softens and his eyes fill with what you haphazardly tack as genuine remorse. He reaches out to you, but then hesitates when you flinch ever so slightly. His hands fall to his sides. 
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, but his fingers gently touch his lips like he can’t believe they were just on yours. “I’ll set it right,” he promises. And maybe it's the steadiness in his voice, but for some reason, a small, naive part believes him for a fleeting moment. 
Until the curtain was strewn open again. 
This time, Duke Hong filled the doorway. 
And it isn’t even a question to anyone who he cares for more because without even a second look at Wonwoo, he runs to your side. 
“y/n.” You allow his warm touch around your shoulders as he hauls you up. He gives you one quick look over and it’s like he knows how the entire situation ran down.
At least, you think bitterly, if I finally get ousted from Society, Joshua will still entertain me. 
“Wait-” Wonwoo starts, his hand going out again, only to be stopped by a withering glare on Joshua’s part. 
His usually warm doe eyes are dreadfully, terrifyingly sharp as they drill into Wonwoo’s. “I think you have done quite enough, your grace,” he forces through clenched teeth. 
Then:
“You’re okay,” he whispers, leading you through the parting of people. A thick fabric is tossed over your shoulders, the hood coming up over your face. It was as if stepping a foot into your space could contaminate them with the Disease of the Scandals. You barely register him gesturing off to the side and saying something before he guides you again, a gentle pat here-and-there on your bare shoulder.
“You’re such a liar,” you mumble, lace gloves going up to dab at your watery eyes.
When did I even start crying?
It does nothing to quell your situation. Instead, your tears run down your cheeks. “Don’t lie to me, Shua.” 
Joshua is quiet as he leads you down a hall and into his personal parlor. When you step into the room, the door shuts. He says nothing as he sits you down on a stuffed recliner and hands you a glass of tea. 
He is quiet until you swallow down your first sip and your tears have mostly stopped. 
He clears his throat as he stands above you, thick arms crossed and his hair falling into his eyes. “What the fuck was that?” His hand rakes through his hair and his sudden emphasis on the curse word makes you jump in your seat. His concerned doe eyes turn to you and he marches over, laying a hand on your shoulder. “Did he touch you?” he asks, eyebrows furrowing together worryingly. “Did he – God forbid – force you into that situation?” His grip on your shoulder tightens as you don’t answer. 
Your cheeks heat up. “No!” you splutter, setting the teacup down. “Oh my god, no! No, no, no, no!” You chant, slapping Joshua’s arm in retaliation. “Why would you– No!” Your fingers went to your temples and your eyes closed. 
“Then what? Did he pull you in and kiss you?” Joshua demands.
You hesitate. “Well…” you trail off, looking down at your skirts. It gives Joshua all the confirmation he needs.
His eyes bug out of their sockets. “He kissed you? Out of absolutely fucking nowhere?” Joshua’s voice raises an entire pitch, ringing through the foyer. 
You wince. “God, can we not talk about what just happened?” You beg, desperation seeping into your voice. “Actually,” you state, pushing Joshua’s hand off your shoulder and standing up, “I’m leaving. No way,” a laugh of pure disbelief escapes you, “absolutely no way I’m staying here.” You turn when Joshua’s voice rings out. 
“Y/n, wait. Are you okay, though?” 
“What?”
Joshua closes the distance between you two, bringing you into a hug. It is so sudden it takes you off guard and your first reaction is to pull away – leave the situation. Like you try to do every time. But Joshua keeps you there, stroking your hair. And it’s like the entire situation feels so much more real. You feel yourself shaking and it doesn’t register to you that you are crying again until Joshua’s murmurs fill your ears. 
“You’re okay. It’s going to be okay. I’ve got you.” Joshua’s whispers, however fake they will be, offer a slant of confidence in your ruined Society life at least for one season. But even his words tremble at the end and you know he’s lying to calm your soul for this fleeting moment. 
“I’m ruined, Shua,” you sob, and your hands grab his coat, tears staining his beige silk shirt. You can’t even begin to think of what would happen tomorrow, the day after, a week after, at the next ball, even. You refuse to admit how much the consequences of tonight scare you. 
Joshua hums into your hair, swaying the two of you slowly. His pats encourage more caged words to tumble out of your mouth as your sobs die down.
A stuttered breath. “I don’t know why this keeps happening to me,” you murmur, your throat hurts from your gasps of breath as you try to maintain some sort of dignity in front of the older man. “I don’t know why- I just keep becoming the, the, the rumor mill of High Society. I don’t know why- – why can’t I just keep to myself?” Your voice cracks at the end as tears fall down your cheeks again, hot and wet against your porcelain blushed cheeks. 
Joshua’s hold tightens at your ending words and he mumbles, “y/n, y/n, this – any of this – was never your fault. Wonwoo should have been more careful. He of all people knows how Society works,” he comforts, pulling away slightly. A sad smile is on his lips when he sees your tear-stricken face, black smudging your waterline. He takes a handkerchief out and dabs at your undereyes gently, wiping the running makeup. 
You sniff, looking down at your feet. “Don’t look at me like that,” you whisper. When you look back up, Joshua’s eyes are wide as they take in your watery eyes again. “Don’t look at me with pity. I don’t deserve it.” Without wanting to, your lips stretch into a bitter smile. It’s always been like this. Ever since he left, people had always looked at you with a fleeting sense of pity. A sense of patronizing pity – oh, you poor, poor, naive little girl, it seemed to whisper. You should’ve known better. 
Joshua shook his head. “You know I don’t pity you, y/n.” His words are firm, like he has always been. You lean back into his comforting embrace, arms pulled close to your chest, letting his familiar warmth encase you for a moment. Briefly, you wonder if this was what it would have felt like growing up with an older brother. 
“y/n, if you don’t mind me asking,” Joshua trails off, swaying gently. His fingers comb through your hair. 
You hum, body-wracking tears dying down. 
He clears his throat and you know what he is about to ask before he even opens his mouth. “Are you truly over him?” a pause. Joshua continues, “Of course, I’m not saying I don’t believe you. Or that it’s wrong in any sense. Actually, I think Seungcheol would much rather you-” he cuts himself off like he just said something he wasn’t supposed to say. He coughs to fill the silence. “It’s just, maybe it’s not so simple, you know? Of course, I was never very close to the Archduke, even during our shared Academy time, but I’ve seen him more than you have, definitely, over his absence in Society. I don’t know, of course, fully, his true feelings, but I feel as though he’s always held a conflicted heart towards you.” 
You almost scoff at his words. “Conflicted?” You repeat. If anything, you were the one who was conflicted, not him. 
Joshua hesitates, as if he’s choosing the right word to continue his explanation. As if he knows with just one word, all the walls you have built over Wonwoo’s absence will come tumbling down, brick by brick. 
“Perhaps not conflicted, per se,” he hums, pulling away so he can look you in the eyes. “But maybe more so regretful? Sorrowful, I think, may be the right word to describe it.” He lets his words hang in the foyer air. 
Sorrowful, you think. It’s almost laughable how comparable that word is to how you felt – wrathful, destitute, longing for something you knew was never going to come true. 
You catch yourself before your thoughts go further down, shaking your head as if it would get rid of everything. “Whatever he feels, we are over. We are a scandal waiting to happen – even tonight! Look at us! Look at me! Whenever I’m around him, Shua, I just completely lose it! Fuck,” you sigh, and you sink down into your skirts. Your brain hurts from how much your two sides are arguing. One part of you wants desperately to tell Joshua how you feel. How, since Wonwoo’s return, every night as you laid in bed, you could only replay the image of him kissing your knuckles. How, since his greeting words, your fluttering heart started to stutter when the morning mail came in, as if waiting for a letter. Another part of you want to keep it all a secret – pretend it never existed. If you pretend hard enough, maybe it will slowly become the truth. That part wants you to stay in this cycle, and maybe one day, Seungcheol would finally find someone good enough that you could ignore all of their nightly walks for. 
Joshua looks at you. And this time, both of you know it’s with pity – not for you but for your conflicted state. “Be honest with yourself, y/n. At least for matters concerning love,” he advises, bringing your hands up to his lips. A quick kiss is placed onto your knuckles before he steps away, towards the door. 
“Where are you going?” you ask. 
Joshua gives you a tired smile and a knowing look. Then you register the faint hums of the orchestra from outside. “Ducal duties, I guess. I have a ball to run,” he laughs, before placing a hand on your shoulder. “Stay here for however long you need to. I’ll have the kitchen staff send something up for you.” He hesitates before adding, “I’ll try to clean up this situation the best I can.” 
You must be getting closer to your period because those simple words almost have you close to tears again. You give him a watery smile. “Thank you, Joshua.” 
Joshua just grins, stepping out. “Anything for my junior.” And the door clicks shut behind him. 
As soon as the door closes, you collapse onto the nearest couch. You swallow, head slamming into the nearest cushion. 
Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it and maybe it’ll just die over. 
You laugh to yourself. 
When has it ever “just” died over. 
Wonwoo 
Wonwoo swears he didn’t even know y/n was on the balcony. He was just overwhelmed – overwhelmed by the sudden mass of people crowding him when he didn’t expect it. It made his heart thud in his chest and made him forget every noble etiquette he learned in his formative years. 
Wonwoo swears his first intention was to kiss you. But when he had you so close and you looked up at him with such honeyed eyes, everything he learned, he forgot. It was as if his years on the battlefield rid him of his confidence with you. It was as if he was back when he was twenty one, stealing a first (and last) hesitant kiss from you in the royal orchards. 
Wonwoo swears he didn’t mean for this entire thing to happen. He’s not praying for your societal downfall, of course not! He didn’t waltz himself into the stupid winter season opening ball just to kiss you and then have one of the biggest blabbermouths of Society walk in on you two. Hell, he didn’t even want to be at the stupid fucking ball to begin with. But Seungcheol said something about his duty as an archduke to show up to opening season balls or something and he found himself in a carriage, being dropped off in front of the Hong Estate. 
After Joshua had taken you away, it was like the world started spinning again. And he found himself trying to escape a crowd of people until Joshua had returned and concluded the ball. 
Which is how he finds himself in Joshua’s study, staring at Joshua’s back as he watches the last of his guests leave through the large study windows. 
The room is hushed, and a thick tension overlays the entire atmosphere of the room. It’s dimly lit and Wonwoo notices the sheer number of bookshelves and portraits of the previous dukes of the Hong line that decorate the walls. Joshua’s study is the epitome of tradition, of duty, of something he never saw himself to be. Joshua himself stands at the windowsill, arms crossed, and his usually calm demeanor obviously frayed at the end. 
It makes Wonwoo’s current situation that much more terrifying. 
Joshua breaks the silence first, his voice low but unmistakably sharp. 
“What the fuck was that, Wonwoo?” 
There is no preamble, no pleasantries. It was very unlike Joshua to get straight to the point.
The words are distinctly sharp but they very obviously carry a tone of accusation and an undercurrent of disbelief. Like he could not believe Wonwoo was here to begin with. 
Joshua turns slowly, brows furrowed and eyes narrowing. “You’ve been gone for years and this is the first thing you do?” A laugh of disbelief cuts through the air. “Have you lost your goddamn mind?” 
Wonwoo’s jaw locks at his accusing words. His voice is tight with irritation. Joshua’s (in)advertent accusation pricks some shallow part of his conscience. “Maintain your-” 
“-Maintain my what? My position?” Joshua interrupts like he just heard the most outrageous thing from the night. He leans against a bookshelf, a shaking exhale leaving his body. “Do you even know what you just dragged the poor girl into?” 
“What exactly do you think I did?” Wonwoo blanches, straightening. He didn’t hold her against her will or force her into any situation. He was just-
Joshua steps a step closer and under this light, Wonwoo can very clearly see the barely-controlled anger in Joshua’s eyes. “You know what I mean. What you did tonight,” he gestures vaguely off to the side, “there is no excuse for that.” His arms cross, tone dropping to something quieter and much more piercing. “And you pull this shit after everything she’s been through?” he scoffs, “Do you know what this scandal will do to her? What she had to fucking live with for the three years you were conveniently gone from her life?” Every curse word that leaves Joshua’s unlikely mouth stings. Especially because during the entirety of Wonwoo’s fifteen years of knowing Joshua, he’s never heard a single curse word leave the man’s mouth until now. 
Wonwoo’s brows furrow in confusion. “What-” Joshua’s words echo in his head. “What do you mean by that?” 
Joshua’s frustration only deepens at his words. “The whispers that followed y/n?” He lets out a small, bitter laugh when Wonwoo stares at him like he just uttered something in a completely different language. “Of course,” he mumbles, running a hand through his hair. “Of course you didn’t know. You weren’t even here,” he strains. “You have no idea – not even an inkling – of what she had to go through. The rumors, the scandals, the fucking engagements that all ended in-” Joshua cuts himself off with a frustrated sigh, closing his eyes. 
Wonwoo blinks, a sense of dread overcoming his senses. ‘Engagements? What- what are you-” 
Joshua perfectly ignores him. “You think she can just simply brush off whatever you just did? That Society will let her brush it off?” 
Wonwoo’s gaze wavers as something tightens in his chest. It’s like every one of Joshua’s words hit something in him. He steps backwards slightly. His hands shake in fists next to him. “I never meant for this entire thing to happen,” he mutters. But he can’t help the guilt that begins to creep into his voice. “I never intended for any of this, Joshua.” 
At his shaking words, Joshua’s posture lets up the slightest bit. Instead of pure anger, there is now a quiet concern that mixes itself in.
“You think she’s been waiting for you this entire time, Wonwoo?” he asks. “No, your grace.” The title hits Wonwoo hard. “She’s been through enough, man. Let her live.” He takes a slow step towards Wonwoo, eyes softer now. “Do you know how each of her engagements ended, Wonwoo?” Joshua’s jaw clenches. “With each and every man going off with some other whore in the back alleys. Every. Single. One.” 
The weight of Joshua’s words hit him like a horse plowing through the fields. “I-” he doesn’t even know what to say. Each and every man going off with some other whore. The phrase repeats itself over and over and over inside his head. He doesn’t even know what the emotions that wrack his body are. Anger? Guilt? Some sort of combination? 
“She’s always been frightfully alone – against Society, the judgment, the pain of the engagements. The entire Society just sees her as a scandal waiting to happen.” Joshua lets out a breath, swallowing. 
Wonwoo is frozen in his place, every word that leaves Joshua’s mouth cutting a deeper wound into his heart. “I never wanted that for her,” he whispers. “I never wanted her to feel alone. I never-”
“-But you did, Wonwoo.” Joshua’s voice cracks and his eyes glisten with pity. “Wonwoo, when you left, you absolutely broke her.” 
At his words, Wonwoo stumbles back like it is a physical blow. 
“She cried almost every other night. She wouldn’t eat at her own estate so Seungcheol ordered her to stay at the palace. Mingyu,” he lets out a frustrated laugh, “Mingyu, he had to carry her up to a guest room every night because she would fall asleep in the library.” Joshua’s gaze is piercing. “But I guess you were too busy doing whatever.” 
Wonwoo’s eyes are wide, his breath still in his throat. He feels his stomach twist and his hands clench into fists. “I didn’t know,” he repeats, almost as if it's a mantra that keeps him afloat. As if he was trying to convince himself. He feels something break inside of him – a dam, a wall, something. Because for the first time since his return, he feels the full weight of the distance between him and y/n. No. Maybe it was always there to begin with and he had refused to face it. He can finally feel the missed years, the cut conversations, the things she had to endure without him. The things she had to endure because of him. It’s like everything is crashing down around him in pieces of broken glass, cutting small pieces of his skin. It’s like all of his mistakes, his failures, his greed that made him think only of himself, comes crashing down in full-force. 
“How do I-” Wonwoo mumbles. There is a strange pressure behind his eyes. “How do I fix this?” When he looks back up at Joshua, he’s at a loss for words. “I never meant to hurt her.” 
Joshua shakes his head slowly, voice firm in this. “But you did. You can’t change that now, three years later. Just fix it. She’s suffered long enough.” Joshua steps back, turning to the window. “Show her that you’re not leaving again. That she can trust you again.” 
“And if it doesn’t work?” Wonwoo’s voice sounds broken, even to his own ears. 
Joshua pauses. He looks over his shoulder. “Then it doesn’t. But if you feel anything towards her, you’ll try.” 
Wonwoo’s eyes close and his hands find purchase on Joshua’s desk. Stupid, he thinks, swallowing back lumps in his throat. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. Should’ve stayed away. 
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: ̗̀➛ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴛᴡɪɴᴇᴅ -- ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪɴ ʙᴇᴛᴡᴇᴇɴ @syluslittlecrows @gaslysainz @meowmeowminnie @luvjichang @peachytokki @nicoleparadas @haneulparadx @mj-szaa @lilylikesthat @ppaia @ameliamirabela @tearsdntfall617
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astronomoney · 10 months ago
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Waitress
Pairing + WC: Jason Grace x mortal!reader, 2.1k Warnings: NOT canon compliant, this takes place in my world where Piper and Jason realized they were best as friends right after lost hero and Leo never got with Caylpso. also TOA never happened because it makes me sad. Also somewhat not proof read Summary: Jason has been sneaking off for weeks and Leo is detirmened to find out why. Or alternativly: Leo, Piper, Annabeth, and Percy go snooping in Jasons buisness Authers note: Hey hey! first fic in what feels like a million years! I definitely have to shake the rust off a bit but this was a fun one to get back into it! I was listening to Waitress at work and got this idea so i ran with it. Honestly not much of the actual relationship, theres a lot of set up and other characters but I think I may do a part two if this does well :)
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Jason Grace was a busy man. Going between camps, building shrines to all the minor gods, serving as Pontifex Maximus, taking trips to Olympus to meet deities, and head counselor duties. Everyone knew he had no time on his schedule. His friends were lucky if they could get him to spare an hour to catch up, much less get him to a bonfire. So why on earth is it that Jason Grace would take upwards of two hours out of his day, three days a week, to walk out of camp and go to who knows where?
Leo was determined to find out. He’d watched Jason sneak off for the past month, and he was sick of wondering. He tried to bring it up but just got a red-faced muttered excuse about it’s just a walk in the woods and I have to finish my work before he'd disappeared into his cabin.
“I think we’re lost,” Percy said, stopping suddenly and causing Piper to almost slam into his back.
“We are not lost!” Leo exclaimed, “I swear he went this way,” 
“We’re miles from camp,” Piper butt in, “he could be anywhere,” she crossed her arms and glared at Leo. 
“We should turn back before someone notices we’re gone,” Annabeth added, looking up and down the road they were on. Leo had seen Jason sneaking off just before lunch and had convinced his friends to follow him. Now, here they were, on some back road heading through the woods surrounding the camp a mile and a half away from the border.
“Guys, c'mon! Don’t you want to know where he’s been going!” Leo turned back to the group. “He can’t have gotten far.” He kept walking backward in the same direction they’d been heading for the past 10 minutes. For a little while, they could see Jason walking along the side of the road, far ahead, but they’d kept their distance so he wouldn’t notice them. Then he made a turn at an intersection, and they’d lost sight of him. 
“Maybe he really is just out for a walk?” Piper offered.
Leo hualted now, “For two hours? No way, he’s definitely up to something out here.” He stared at the group, waiting for someone to disagree. No one did. It was definitely unusual behavior from the son of Jupiter to take so much time away from his work.
“We’ve been walking for 25 minutes. I say we go 5 more and then head back,” Annabeth spoke up, sending Leo a you owe me glance. 
“Perfect, 5 minutes!” Leo returned an appreciative smile before turning on his heel and continuing down the road with his friends in tow.
They rounded a corner a minute later, and Leo couldn’t help the I told you so grin that came across his face. In front of them, just a few more meters down the road was a genuine 1950s-style roadside diner with the name The Doo-Wop Diner plastered over the door. “See!” Leo pointed triumphantly, “Now imagine if we had turned back when you quitters had wanted to,” 
The group walked up to the diner, rolling their eyes at Leo’s antics. They peered in through the windows that lined the front. It was cute, with pastel blue on the walls, 50s-style booths, a jukebox in the corner, and a countertop bar.
“Is he even in there?” Percy asked, huddled next to Annabeth and scanning the restaurant.
“He’s got to be,” Leo squinted from Annabeth's other side.
“There he is!” Annabeth pointed to the far end of the bar where Jason was sitting. He had a cup of coffee and an open book in front of him.
“What’s he doing in there?” Leo asked as if any of them knew. “He walks all the way out here for ‘New York's best black coffee’?” He read off the sign in the window. 
The group looked at him for another minute in deliberation before Piper let out a quiet gasp. “It’s not the coffee he’s here for,” she was staring at something on the other end of the restaurant with wide, knowing eyes. “Look,”
When the three others looked back at Jason, they saw a soft, almost nervous smile on his face while he gave a slight wave. When they followed his gazeto the other side of the resturant, they all came to the same conclusion that Piper had. Jason Grace had walked nearly thirty minutes away from camp to a rinky-dink old diner on the side of the road to see you.
You were dressed in a 1950s waitress uniform and serving some of that aforementioned black coffee to an old couple. When you caught sight of Jason, your face lit up, and you waved back. As soon as you finished pouring the coffee, you brought the pot over to where Jason was sitting, even though he still had a full cup in front of him. The four standing outside were frozen in place as they watched the two inside interact. 
“Hey!” You said as you approached. The smile you had on now was so much more genuine than your usual customer service smile. “I missed you last week,”
Jason’s smile mirrored your own as he put a napkin between the pages of his book to mark his place. “Hey. Yeah, sorry, I had a last minute thing, uh, out of town, I had to do,” he had been called back to Camp Jupiter to resolve a minor god conflict and hadn’t been able to come in at his usual time. 
“Ooo, more of your mystery out-of-town work?” He’d mentioned it several times but, for obvious reasons, couldn’t tell you the whole story, and being the golden boy he was, he couldn’t bring himself to flat-out lie. “Is it something illegal?” You asked.
Jason let out a laugh at that. “It’s definitely not illegal.” He pushed his glasses back into place. 
“Are you sure? Because based on what you’ve told me, it’s out of town, it’s odd hours, it’s highly secretive, and it’s hard work.” You listed things out, counting them on your fingers. “You’re either selling drugs or possibly a secret agent.” You finished with wide, questioning eyes.
He laughed again at your list. You always had a way of putting his mind at ease. When it was swimming in work, and he couldn’t think straight, you always managed to bring him back to sanity. “It’s all boring, I promise. I’d much rather be here.” 
Your grin returned. “Oh really? I didn’t know you held our fine establishment in such high regard.” While you spoke, the cook rang a harsh bell and shouted, "Order up!”
“Thanks, Cal,” You called while you grabbed the two burger plates from the kitchen and walked them around the counter to deposit them at a table nearby. Jason watched you while you worked, the soft smile never once leaving his face as you handed out napkins and refilled some water. 
Once you were back, the conversation picked up exactly where it had left off. “It has its selling points,” he mused. The other half of that sentence, mostly about cute waitresses with the brightest smiles and the prettiest eyes, stayed caught in his throat. The pair slipped into an easy routine they’d established long ago. Jason would sit and drink his coffee while you bustled around, taking orders, running food, cleaning the occasional spill, all the while keeping up a steady stream of small talk. 
It was a mutually beneficial relationship. You got a bit of conversation to distract from the monotony of your work, and his blue eyes always seemed to make your day go smoother. Jason got a much-needed break from everything Greco-Roman. At camp, he always had so much responsibility, and so many expectations were weighing him down. Here, he didn’t have to worry about all that. You didn’t know who his dad was or what quests he’d been on, and you didn’t care. You liked him for him and not for the hero he was supposed to be. 
You returned to your spot across from him and picked up a rag to look like you were still doing something. “Have you told anyone at that camp of yours about this place?” You knew Camp Half-Blood existed. You also knew it wasn't anywhere close to normal based on the folks that came through, but they had the best strawberries even in the off-season, so you didn’t ask many questions.
“No way. Trust me, you do not want them coming here,” Jason had told you about his friends, minus a few details, but he had always emphasized that they were trouble.
“Uh huh, so then, who's staring at us from the window?” You asked with a sideways grin on your face.
“What?” Jason wiped his head around in time to see four panicked faces duck below the window sill outside. “Oh, by all the gods!” He muttered angrily under his breath and made a beeline for the door. “I’ll be right back,” he called to you, knowing you’d watch his book and half cup of coffee.
“Take your time,” you called back as he pushed open the door and stepped outside. 
For a second, all the demigods stared at each other without moving. Four crouched on the ground, wishing he hadn’t seen them, and one glaring at the group from above. Jason grabbed the front of Leo’s shirt and hoisted him up so he stood with his hands raised in surrender. “What are you doing here,” he hissed.
“Hey! Calm down, calm down,” Leo tried a friendly smile but was met with a glare. “We just, uh went for a walk?” He offered an explanation that sounded more like a question
“Wrong answer,” Jason sent his glare at the other three. “Did you all follow me?” He let Leo go and took a step back so he could glare at everyone all at once instead of having to shift his gaze.
“Leo made us come,” Piper threw him under the bus.
“Oh gee, thanks, beauty queen. It's nice to know where your loyalties lie.” Leo shot back, adjusting his shirt front.
Percy gave Jason a sly grin. “We were curious, but we never would have come if we knew you had a secret girlfriend out here,”
“She is not my girlfriend!” Jason cut him off. 
Percy put up his own hands, “Sorry, secret crush,” he corrected.
“She isn't! I don't-” Jason was full-on flustered now.
“Does that mean she’s up for grabs?” Leo asked. He looked back inside before getting smacked upside the back of the head by Annabeth. “What? She cute!”
When Jason looked back through the window he caught your eye and you sent him a questioning, yet very amused, glace. Jason had a bit of panic at that and quickly moved to usher the four away from the window and back towards the road. “Absolutely not! First of all, she’s a person; she can’t be up for grabs, and secondly, you can’t meet her!”
“What? Why not, she seems nice,” Annabeth asked.
“She is nice! And she's normal, and she doesn’t need to know any of you,” Jason managed to get them all about 10 feet from the front door. “Go back to camp. Just follow this road east for a mile, turn right at the second intersection, go straight for another half-mile, and you’ll see the border.” Jason gave the hurried directions and prayed to whichever god would listen that they’d all just leave.
“Whoa, man, we walked all the way out here, and now you're just gonna send us away?” Leo asked, putting a hand over his chest in fake offense.
“Yes,” Jason shot back flatly.
Piper spoke up next, “Wait, what’s her name? How long have you been coming here? How’d you even find this place? Does she like you back? It looked like she did.”
“Really?” Jason asked before shaking his head and focusing again. “I mean, I am not answering that,” he was still trying to shew the group away, but clearly, it wasn’t working. 
“Well, do they have good food here?” Percy added
“I saw ‘Breakfast all day’ on one of the signs,” Annabeth walked around Jason and back towards the door.
“And that burger meal she brought out looked really good,” Leo added. The four demigods went right past Jason and headed for the front door. 
“No, no, no, no, no,” Jason muttered as his friends ignored him and went in. “This is not good,” he said to himself, following the group back inside. They obviously had no intention of leaving, and he figured the next best course of action would be to simply die of shame. He knew this day would come; someone would catch him sneaking off, and his best-kept secret would become his worst nightmare. He just didn’t think it’d be so soon.
≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺
Ahhhh first fic in a long ass time, its not my best work but personally I liked the plot so I got a little carried away and might have to make a part 2
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chiara-hotel · 8 months ago
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𝒟𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓂
Characters: Sunday & Black Swan
Other parts here: Pt 1 (Blade, Robin, Dan Heng & Jingliu) Pt 2 (Boothill, Aventurine & Acheron)
Warnings: Controlling sunday, yandere sunday
Spoilers: Penacony questline 2.0, 2.1 & 2.2
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- Sunday as your boyfriend is amazing, somehow out of every person in the world he picked you to stand by his side
- Of course with his position he would expect you to know basic manners and would teach you whatever you don’t know-both you and him have a high status afterall
- Of course in public Sunday is strict, no PDA allowed except handholding when necessary, when guests are over you always stand behind him to support him
- For dinners he also gifts you outfits to wear for the evening, its not unusual that a new dress appears on your door the night of a dinner outing
- And jewelry too! If you enjoy it that is
- So yes, he gives gifts a lot
- Loves cuddling you, its rare, but when it happens he never wants to let go
- The only exception to his ‘no PDA’ rule is Robin, which he will allow you to kiss him on the cheek in front of her and maybe the occasional hug
- Regular dates include dinner dates, movie dates, sightseeing or watching Robins concert
- Now enough about public affairs, in private hes all over you
- Sunday is also a bit of a control freak, taking care of your schedule to the exact times, that way he always knows where you are
- Theres not many cases where you leave without him, but when you do you have 2 visible bodyguards on you and then 4 hidden ones that you don’t know about
- Even if you do find out could you be mad at him when he argues he just wants to ensure your safety?
- Sunday would do anything to protect you and your image
- That guy who almost ran into you? He got kicked out of the dreamscape
- The girl who flirted with you? She was never seen at the bar again
- The man who threatened your life? He was banished from the hotel itself, never to set foot in it again
- And those are just some of the things Lord Sunday would do for you
- Of course you don’t realize this and think of him as the amazing boyfriend he is
- Also #1 follower of the sidewalk rule
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- Black Swan is an amazing girlfriend to have
- Imagine shes sitting on your bed, doing work with one hand, the other is massaging your scalp while you’re laying on her lap
- Cuddle sessions with Black Swan are dreamy, especially when you end up falling asleep with a beautiful dream
- She most likely has examined your memories before, so she knows various things about you
- Loves kisses too, she’ll do anything to get a kiss of yours
- One thing she also loves doing is giving you specialized cards with various things you both enjoy on them, almost like a collection of memories
- Regular dates include reading/library dates, coffee dates & game dates (ex. bowling alley)
- Shes competitive too for the games, but is also glad you just had a good time
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hinaaspanda · 1 year ago
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the act of love | p.sh
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pairing: idol actor! park sunghoon x idol actor! fem reader warnings: swearing, mentions of food + dieting, alcohol genre: enemies to lovers, secret pining, angst, slight fluff, smut: protected sex, fingering, slight dirty talk and praise wc: 10,639
Park Sunghoon was heartless; you were convinced. After selfishly leaving you for another company, Park Sunghoon was now your enemy. Now, with years past and both of your careers sky rocketing as famous idols, you thought you were done dealing with him. However, life had other plans; placing the two of you as main leads in an upcoming romantic drama!
hi! after months of writers block i am finally back with another sunghoon fic! i missed writing for my bae! also, this fic mentions idols not being allowed in relationships, so i just wanna make it clear; i know idols can probably date if they wanted to (unless theres a dating ban) and theyre entilited to their personal lives! i just wanted to add drama teehee. anyways, enjoy!
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“Go out with me.” 
His voice rasped against your skin, his face mere centimetres from yours; lips even closer. Puffs of the cold air sprouted at each hitched breath, every impatient inhale. Rain drizzled around you, encasing your frames like a protective barrier. The world was no one else’s but yours. The streetlamp cast a warm light against your figures; in the spotlight of your own stage. His hand brushes your hair behind your ear, his touch as light as a feather. It sends shivers down your spine. Your pounding heart leaped from your chest, getting stuck between the walls of your throat. His eyes bore through your frame, keeping yours locked in its grasp. 
“I-”
“CUT!”
The muffled, yet heavily amplified voice of your director shocked your ears through the megaphone. Well, yours and the rest of the staff that surrounded you and your co-star. You jolted, eyes quickly scanning the filming set, complete with the fake rain machines, fans, and stage lights. Eventually they landed on your director, whose ears were practically puffing out steam. 
“You’re late again, y/n!” The director irritatedly reminds you, pinching the bridge of his nose. You wince, beating yourself up for your stupid mistake. He only sighs, his face growing less red, his tone becoming more forgiving. “Memorise your queues, okay? Now, that’s a wrap for today. Good work!” 
After your director finally dismisses the clamour of staff members and actors, clacks of footsteps  suddenly peak from behind you. You only roll your eyes. You knew exactly who it was, and he didn’t deserve even an ounce of your attention. 
Park Sunghoon. The man you hated most. 
The man you were forced to work with for this stupid idol drama. 
“If you needed my help you could’ve just said so,” Sunghoon crossed his arm, his face cold and indifferent. You scowled. His words may have seemed innocent, helpful even. But his snarky tone made it overwhelmingly clear; his words were nothing but harsh insults. 
Park Sunghoon was just heartless like that.
“Piss off, will you? I didn’t have enough time!” You were telling the truth; your schedule had been jam packed with dance practice and promotional events—the typical life of an idol. You puff your chest out like some dumb chicken, only earning a huff from Sunghoon’s lips as he steps closer to you. You couldn’t help but notice how much he towered over your frame with his lanky one. How small locks of his hair hung above his eyes like curtains. He probably got a kick out of it all. The thought alone made you sick.
“And whose fault is that?” Sunghoon only cocked an eyebrow. 
Mine, you thought bitterly. You hated when he was right. 
“Why don’t you rehearse the scene where you learn to shut up?” You spat back instead. With that, you spun away from him, retreating to your change room within the filming set. Leaving Park Sunghoon to fend for himself.
Truth be told, you didn't always hate him. Years ago, you and Sunghoon were actually close. Best friends, in fact. The both of you grew up together, spent your school years together, and you shared the dream of stardom and fame. You both wanted to be idols, and so you auditioned for the same company. 
Amidst all of this, the two of you swore on one sole promise; never leave the other behind. To never put the likes of stardom and fame before your friendship. Of course you were able to hold your end of the bargain. But Sunghoon? He couldn’t quite say the same. 
It was two years into training with the company. Sunghoon had grown awfully distant from you. For some, the changes were subtle, practically unnoticeable. You, however, certainly noticed, but you never thought much of it. Always hiding your feelings under the guise of your busy, clashing schedules. Always making excuses for his heartless actions—until Sunghoon told you he was leaving the company. 
You remembered it as if it was yesterday. His eyes held no emotion. His posture was calm, laid back. Another, bigger company, was offering him a higher pay and a debut date that was fast approaching. You thought it was crazy. You were sure he would never switch so easily. He wouldn’t break the promise the two of you made years ago. He wouldn’t betray you in just the blink of an eye.
You were wrong.
He announced that he would officially leave in a week, but his dorm was empty in just two days—it was no surprise that he lied. Nevertheless, in those same two days, you vowed to make an enemy out of Park Sunghoon; the man heartless enough to betray you.
And yet, you were here. Stuck as his co-star for an idol drama you didn’t even want. Just to listen to your company's orders. It irked you beyond belief. 
You haphazardly threw your purse over your shoulder, adjusting the hem of your hoodie before heading out the door to meet your manager. 
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ENHYPEN’s Park Sunghoon and HEARTBEAT’s Ahn y/n to star in upcoming drama
You found yourself scowling at the article in front of you, the glare of the laptop screen burning white against the darkness of your bedroom. With a huff, your head sunk further into the plush of the pillow, your frame burying itself into the covers. Maybe then, you could hide away from this cursed reality. This cursed world in which you were stuck working with the man you loathed. 
The article purged open the gates of your mind, allowing memories to seep through. Unwanted memories of Park Sunghoon. Staying up past your curfews just to practise together; ‘practising’ your vocal lessons at the karaoke bar down the street from your dorms; secretly rigging group games so the two of you ended up together. Now, they were all just bittersweet memories that plagued your mind.  
You wouldn’t be lying if you said you missed those times. A small sliver of you wouldn’t mind miraculously travelling back in time just to see your best friend again. To relive those memories once again. 
Nevertheless, the Park Sunghoon you were forced to work with was not your childhood friend. In your eyes, he was a complete stranger. 
Throwing a stuffie at your laptop, you bit the inside of your cheek, tucking your face into your knees. Even when you first reunited for the first day of shooting, that asshole didn’t even bother to apologise. You could barely recognize him.
“Throwing your stuffies at his picture won’t get rid of him, you know.” A voice rang in your ears. Kiri—your team’s main dancer and your roommate—slumped against the doorframe with her arms crossed against her chest. Kiri inches forward sitting on the edge of your bed as you huff a groan. “It should. You’d think we’d have the technology for it by now.”
“You think anyone’s petty enough to make something like that?”
“Not petty. Efficient,” you crossed your arms.
Kiri leaned back, tilting her head. “How are you two ever gonna work together if you can’t even stand his picture?”
“I don’t know! They probably should’ve thought of that before slapping our names on a contract neither of us even wanted!” Your arms flailed in defeat. 
“Maybe it’s a sign?” Kiri hesitated. “Like—the universe wanted the two of you to make up, or something.”
Your figure erupts in laughter, but Kiri’s unflinching demeanour suggests that she wasn’t trying to make you laugh with a joke. Your giggles fizzle out within seconds. “You’re serious?”
Kiri only huffs, shooting up from her seat. “I dunno, but just give him a chance. Maybe Sunghoon changed for the better?”
You watched Kiri’s back as she trekked out of your room. You only scoffed. Now that was something impossible.
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Despite the relentless physical activities, and clamour of people within the building, going to the gym was one of your favourite pastimes. It allowed you and your teammates to unwind after a long day of idol activities. All of your worries and troubles—washed away by a quick jog on the treadmill. 
Right now, you needed that more than anything. 
“Gonna run today?” Kiri probed, sinking into a wide leg stretch and twisting her shoulders around. You hum positive, crossing your arm over in a stretch. “Yeah, I need to clear my head.”
Kiri only nodded, yanking dumbbells off of a community rack before sinking into the first squat of her first session. You trek a few paces over to the treadmill aisles, sliding your headphones over your ears and swiping at your phone screen to play some music. Soon enough, you were off, your heels and toes pressing repeatedly onto the platform, your heart rate rising at a steady pace. Step by step, your mind was gradually clearing, de-stressing. Like a cloud flying away from an otherwise bluesky, all of your worries surrounding your idol activities, that stupid drama, and that stupid Park Sunghoon whisked themselves away. For once in what seemed like forever, you were at peace.
“y/n.”
A voice roughly jolted you back to reality. Hastily, you push your headphones off, hooking them around your neck before glancing around to find the owner of the voice. The voice that ruined your peaceful evening. 
You choke. 
Park Sunghoon stood before you, his hands shoved in his pockets as he leaned back in a nonchalant manner. You took note of his black shirt; the way it was tight enough to see his chest peeking through, the way his short sleeves were rolled up, exposing his biceps. You cursed at yourself for looking.
You simply stood there, eyes wide and spilling from their sockets. Your hand snakes up, fiddling with the treadmill dashboard to stop the equipment from moving. You cling onto the handle bars; maybe for stability, maybe for protection. You weren’t sure. You glance to the side, another figure taking up your view. He looked vaguely familiar; you’ve probably seen him during live shows before. A gulp runs down your throat as you collect yourself.
“The hell are you doing here?”
Sunghoon crossed his arms, your eyes glance at his pecks. Bruh. “I came here to work out. What’s wrong with that?”
“Isn’t there another gym near you?”
“This is my gym. I go here regularly.”
Your brows furrow. “What? This is my gym! I never see you here.”
“That’s a you problem,” Sunghoon tilted his head coyly, earning a groan from you. Sunghoon cleared his throat. “Besides, I’m not here for you. Jake wanted to say hi.”
Sunghoon jutted a thumb at the man beside him. His face held a wide grin as he held out his hand. You clung onto his palm in a swift hand shake, a smile now plastered onto your face. Jake’s eye smile never went away as he introduced himself. 
“I’m Jake, one of Sunghoon’s teammates! So nice to finally meet you!”
With a grin, you reciprocate his kind words. The two of you fell into wholesome small talk, completely forgetting the nuisance beside you. You already liked this guy way more. You and Jake talked endlessly about your similar hobbies, your overlapping interests. You enjoyed it, talking to the personified bundle of joy. It made you wonder why he was friends with someone like Sunghoon. 
Sunghoon cleared his throat, the sudden boom startling both you and Jake. 
“Let’s head back, man. I wanna get started on my reps.”
Jake only glanced back before turning around to face you, waving his hand at Sunghoon. “Start without me. I’ll catch up later.”
Sunghoon grumbled, turning around before marching over to the dumbbells. Only after he turned around did you notice the shells of his ears burning bright pink. Weird. 
You and Jake continued but something was off. You couldn’t quite focus. As the two of you were about to enter the conversation topic of favourite foods, your stubborn eyes began to wander to the view of Park Sunghoon. You watched as he sat hunched over on a random bench, his hands clinging onto a dumbbell as he curled the equipment up to his chin, and back down slowly. You watched as his muscles tensed, his sweat beaded off of his face, drenching his hairline. He looked good; and you hated it. 
Sunghoon’s eyes darted towards you, scanning back and forth between you and Jake. His eyes burned a hole through his teammate’s chest. His tongue poked beneath his cheek before his eyes darted away. Watching him, you found your heart racing. Odd, considering you hadn’t been running for a while. Something was really wrong with you. 
You waited for Jake to leave before collecting your belongings and dashing off the treadmill. You made a b-line for Kiri, innocently working out. Kiri glances up, a confused and weary look on her face. “You good?”
“No.” You murmur, your heart racing even more. What was going on? “I wanna go home.”
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“That’s a wrap for today!” The director’s voice echoed through the building, signalling the end of another successful shoot, but you could barely pay any mind. Not with your stomach grumbling like a lion dying of hunger. 
This should’ve been an easy fix. With the table of refreshments, reserved just for the staff and cast members just 4 paces away from you, it was easy for anyone to take a quick bit and become instantly satisfied. Yet,your case was awfully special. You were currently on a diet. 
It was a common occurrence for someone in the industry in order to look your best in time for a special event. With group activities fast approaching for you and your group, the practice of dieting was natural to expect. 
Suddenly, the crackles of an open wrapper stung through your ears. Your head snaps to the sound, your senses heightened by the possibility of food. You squinted to get a better look. An overly seasoned rice ball, burning auburn in colour, with a dark strip of crispy seaweed running down the middle. It was a sight for sore eyes; your mouth watered. The way the oil glistened under the setlights above, the way each rice grain fell between the perfect balance of crisp and chewy, it all made your cravings skyrocket. You were about to take a step towards the godlike piece of food before your eyes remembered to scan the rest of the figure; the owner of the seaweed-wrapped gold. 
You stopped.
It was Park Sunghoon. He was the one digging into the last riceball from the refreshments table. He was the one responsible for your suffering. 
Your mind replays images from the gym; your last unfortunate encounter with the man you hated. The way your eyes wandered to places you didn’t want to see, the way your heart raced at his presence. It all stung you. And yet, here he was, making his way over to you. You found yourself coddling your stomach.  
“What do you want?”
“You were the one staring at me, y/n.”
You gulp. You try to look away from the bothersome man, you really did. However, with Sunghoon bringing the rice ball closer and closer to your starving frame, facing away from him was even hard to manage. You couldn’t help but steal a glance or two from his mouth watering snack. 
“You’re hungry, aren’t you?” You only gulp. Were you that obvious?
You stepped back from the idol. “I’m dieting. Everything makes me hungry.” You noticed your words wavering at the last half or your sentence. 
Slowly, you walked away. You were expecting that interaction to be over, anyway. There was no use talking to him if he wasn’t going to provide you with any sort of solace. And besides, this was Park Sunghoon. Since when did you give him the light of day?
“There’s a convenience store down the street,” You heard Sunghoon’s voice as he jogged over to your escaping frame. “Let’s go.”
The convenience store? With Park Sunghoon?
“Are you dumb? My manager will kill me!”
A sudden warmth ghosted around the curve of your wrist. Sunghoon’s fingers clung gently around your skin, dragging your frame closer to his. 
“We’ll be quick.”
Running. You and Park Sunghoon were running. Pushing past the equipment and staff members scattered across the filming set, all yelling at you to come back. With your hand in his, and an optimal view of Sunghoon’s back, the two of you dashed out of the filming set doors, escaping into the daylight. It was odd. It was as if the world surrounding you completely vanished, leaving the two of you secluded. Just for this maybe 5 minute run to the convenience store, the world was your and yours alone. 
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“You’re paying?”
“Yeah. You need to eat.” 
Your brows furrowed. Since when did he care? 
Your shoulder was nudged, and a rice ball fell into your hand. Your eyes met Sunghoon’s, whose eyes were already on you. “Here.”
You clear your throat. Your voice was small; an attempt to hide your fluttering heart. “Thanks.”
You dash in front of him, not wanting to look at him more than you needed to. This was the end of it all, anyways. You got what you wanted, and you were now on your merry way. 
“Wait—” A tug on your wrist once again. Sunghoon pulled your frame close to his chest, away from the sliding doors behind you. 
“Let’s stay here. Our managers will both have our heads if they see where we are,” Sunghoon huffed a chuckle. 
“You only realised that now?”
“Just eat your rice ball” Sunghoon rolled his eyes.
Unwrapping the golden deity of rice and seaweed, you and Sunghoon step to the side, huddling together at the corner of the lottery ticket station. The silver light above you flickered, the buzzing of the electricity humming across the entire room. However, you couldn’t give your surroundings even a sliver of your attention. You were too busy dying of hunger to care. 
“Look at you two!” The honey-like voice of an elderly woman seeped through your ears, breaking your attention away from your feast. It was the cashier, taking 5 from her work. “What a cute couple you are!”
You choked on your rice. A couple? Was that what the two of you looked like? Sure, Sunghoon bought your food for you, and you did just come running into the store holding hands. You sort of understood the confusion. But hell, was this lady ever wrong. Never in a million years would Park Sunghoon come close to someone you’d want to be a couple with. You would never give the thought the light of day. Dating Park Sunghoon? Nice try. He would need a heart of his own before getting a chance at capturing yours. 
You shined a bogus smile. “Oh no—”
“Thank you!” Sunghoon’s voice collided with yours. You choke on your rice again, despite no rice being ingested to begin with. Maybe you were simply choking on the audacity Park Sunghoon had at this very moment. You step up, desperately in need of clearing up the miscommunication, but the lady was already occupied with her next customer. You huff a sigh, returning to the last bites of your blessed rice ball.  
As you shoved the remaining food into your jacket, you and Sunghoon slip out of the convenience store, a cloud rumbling over your head, and your cheeks erupting into flames. You’ve been doing that a lot lately. Grumbling, you turn to him. 
“What was that!?” Your voice squeaked a little.
Sunghoon only shrugged, throwing his elbows in the air and his palms at the back of his head. “I couldn’t correct that sweet old lady! Plus, it’s not like we’re ever gonna see her again.”
The speed in which Sunghoon dismissed the situation agitated you to your core, but you couldn’t help but notice the shell of Sunghoon’s ear flashing red again.
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Currently, you sat on the curb as you took 5 from an outdoor shoot. Knees tucked into your chest, and your lunch balancing on your kneecaps, you munched on your food peacefully. The sky that was suspended over your head painted a simple wash of blue. It carried a few splotches of white clouds, the same way your brain carried few thoughts in its head. For the first time in a while, your mind was at peace.
A certain warmth ghosted your side, snapping you out of your peaceful trance. It was Sunghoon, choosing to sit right next to you. Sunghoon waited a few paces before taking a bite of his lunch. Only then did he consider looking over at you. You, however, were already looking in his direction. Baffled.
“Relax. This was the only place I could sit.”
You grumbled under your breath.
You glance at Sunghoon’s lunch. A simple fruit salad; pieces of fruit cubed and tossed together in a plastic bowl. You watched as Sunghoon periodically pushed the mountain of mangoes further into the corner, minimising the chances of them mixing into the rest of his salad. Suddenly, memories from your trainee days flooded your brain. Memories of Sunghoon scooping the mangoes off of a fruit cake; of Sunghoon wincing the moment he tasted mangoes in his fruit cup; of Sunghoon always remembering to give you the pieces he never wanted because he knew you liked them.
Your chest twinged.
“You still don’t like mangoes?” Your words were uttered before you could think them through. You wince; only now realising that the usage of ‘still’ implies that you remembered the past. Fuck.
You watch the corner of Sunghoon’s lip twitch up before his head hangs down, as if he was trying to hide a smile. “You still remember that?”
You stayed silent. The answer was obvious, unfortunately. A lump jumped from your throat. “You’re still weird for that, by the way. Who the hell doesn’t like mangoes?”
“They're always bad. Too sour.”
“You’re just bad at picking them out.”
“Also they’re slimy. Gross.”
“They’re not—” You heave a sigh. “You’re so dumb.”
The two of you pause, your eyes holding onto each other as if a thread had hung in the balance. As if on queue, the two of you suddenly burst out into fits of laughter. You didn’t know exactly what came over you at that moment. It was as if your body had become possessed, manoeuvred by a puppet master. Yet somehow, sitting here, on this random curb, laughing with Park Sunghoon—it brought you a strange sense of comfort.
As the laughter dialled down, and the two you grew silent, Sunghoon still held onto your attention. Slowly, Sunghoon picked off the mango cubes from his bowl, reached over and plopped down onto yours. You only looked up at him, confused.
“They’re your favourite, right?” Sunghoon simply asked, a grin stretching across his face. Your stomach felt queasy. “You’re not the only one who remembers, you know.”
Why was your heart racing?
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Today was the day. The day you dreaded the most.
“You’ve already survived this far, I really doubt today’s gonna be any different,” Kiri reasoned from her end of the company van. You hated how logical and indifferent she was, and how you were the complete opposite right now. 
You curled up in a ball on your car seat, your forehead resting on your knees. “Do you even know what scene we’re filming?” 
Kiri only huffed as the company van slowly pulled into the driveway. “Yes, y/n. You’ve only told me everyday for the past week.” You huffed. So much for having a friend who understood you. 
The van shifted into park, and Kiri released herself from the confines of her seat belt. With one last glance back at you, your teammate hops out of her car door, making her way to her individual schedule for the day. It took you every ounce of energy in your body to not reach over and grab her in a tight hug; steal her for yourself and your much needed moral support. 
“You’ll be okay, y/n. Trust me.” The car door slammed shut. 
Kiri definitely could not be trusted. Not when the particular scene you had scheduled was a kiss scene. With the one and only Park Sunghoon. You had every right to be just a little bit panicked. 
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The director’s run down of today’s schedule seemed shorter than usual. Or maybe it wasn’t—maybe you were just desperate to stall the inevitable. Either way, you still found yourself sitting behind the snack table. It was the corner of the room; the farthest corner from the filming set. The set you’d soon occupy with the man of the hour.
Park Sunghoon was the man you hated. He was the man that broke your promise, leaving you to bask in your loneliness. He was the man that abandoned your friendship in favour of fame. You hated him for all of it. Kissing Park Sunghoon went against everything your entire being had to offer.  
And yet, you couldn’t get the thought of him out of your mind. 
You let your stubborn eyes wander as you stood in the middle of the scene. Now, you were in-between takes, and you simply stood there as a makeup artist touched up Sunghoon’s face. Slowly, your eyes approached him. In the next 5 minutes, you would’ve kissed him, and this will all be over. 
In 5 minutes. you would have kissed Park Sunghoon.
You’ll kiss Park Sunghoon.
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“I’m yours, Choi Min Ah. No one else’s.” Sunghoon’s toasted breath wrapped your skin in a blanket of warmth. His voice was sweet; dipped in honey. Or, his character, Kwang Ill Han’s voice was. That’s who the voice belonged to—not Sunghoon. Recently, you’ve been having a difficult time differentiating the two. Sunghoon folded a hand over your cheek, slowly and gently linking his lips with yours. You crashed into the plush of his lips, your skin swiping at his. Your heart was racing again.
This was the kiss scene between Choi Min Ah and Kwang Ill Han. Not yours. So why was it affecting you? 
The director yells cut, and the last scene for the day finishes. The clamour of staff members and actors run around, preparing to leave. However, you simply stood there. Trapped in the middle of the filming platform. Trapped in your own thoughts. Thoughts that Park Sunghoon had selfishly plagued. 
You knew it was childish. You knew it was stupid. But it was what you needed to quell your erratic heart. 
So you ran.
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Park Sunghoon was a selfish prick.
It was the thought that tainted Sunghoon’s mind as he watched you escape the film set earlier that afternoon, and it stayed plaguing his mind for the duration of that evening—even until he got home. He sunk into the plush of the couch, not bothering to pay any mind to the colossal mess his members left in the living room. Instead, Sunghoon simply gazed at the lamp above him, glowing a deep amber—letting his thoughts eat him alive. 
He let himself get carried away.
Sunghoon knew this would happen. He knew the risks that laced the opportunity of a reunion with you. He knew that, at just the slightest chance, Sunghoon would fall in love with you all over again. And, as far as his career was concerned; falling in love was forbidden. 
It all started years ago, a couple of years after the two of you joined the same entertainment company—though Sunghoon remembered it like it was yesterday. Sunghoon had just finished up his vocal lessons for the evening when the company CEO sat Sunghoon down in front of a laptop. It was littered with pictures that Sunghoon was a part of. However, all these shots had one thing in common; they were all pictures of you and him. Pictures of Sunghoon staring into your eyes lovingly as you decorated a cake for your group leader, of Sunghoon intimately adjusting your hair, clueless to the cameras filming you. Pictures of Sunghoon that expose his feelings for you.
In other words; a relationship rumour was bound to spread, if it hadn’t already, and Park Sunghoon was screwed.
The CEO goes on to tell Sunghoon the dangers that this holds. How a dating rumour during their trainee years had a greater chance of ruining their careers, their images. He scolded Sunghoon for being dumb and reckless. It was natural; you had a knack for making Sunghoon go crazy ever since he first met you in grade school. Park Sunghoon was smitten for you, and now he finally had to pay the price. 
The CEO, however, proposes a solution that would dial down the situation. Sunghoon would transfer to BELIFT LAB, a company in need of a male trainee for an upcoming debut of their new boy group. With Sunghoon now out of the way, there would be no room for rumours between the two trainees to spread. And with the sudden news of  Sunghoon signing with a new company ranking first in the spotlight, dedicated fans were bound to simply forget any rumours would even exist. 
Sunghoon didn’t know much when it came to this line of work. So, he agreed to the scheme. Anything to keep his career, and you, safe. 
The hardest part about it all was keeping it a secret from you. It was on company’s orders; you didn’t have a clue what was going on at the time, so it was best to just leave you in your blissful ignorance. The company ordered him to distance himself from you. To break away from the bond the two of you shared for years. It was no wonder you hated him; you had every right. And so, Park Sunghoon tried to shut down his feelings for you. Hiding his heart behind a fake persona that hated you the same way you hated him—thorns against his skin. Nevertheless, it was the only way to keep you somewhat in his life. 
Park Sunghoon knew it was bad news when he found out the two of you would reunite under the shackles of this web drama project. Park Sunghoon knew he couldn’t control himself around you; that you knew just how to drive his heart crazy. That was exactly why he was left here, alone in the living room, with the image of you running away from him replaying in his brain. 
His feelings for you have sparked once again. He wasn’t quite sure if they even left to begin with.  
But there was no way in hell your feelings would ever reciprocate. Not in a million years. It was clear the moment you ran away from him. 
A ping! jumps from Sunghoon’s phone, the light from the screen catching his attention. His thumb swipes at the notification; a message from his manager. It reveals a calendar with the upcoming weekend highlighted a bright green. The coloured boxes read only one sentence, but it was a sentence that would be burned in Sunghoon’s brain for a lifetime. 
FILMING AT JEJU - WEEKEND SHOOT + WRAP UP PARTY
A weekend away at Jeju island. With you. 
Sunghoon’s heart leaped from his chest.
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Jeju island was a tourist spot most notably known for its beach resorts, pearl blue ocean water, and unique cuisine. For most, it’s considered a home away from home, a paradise to let your hair down, to destress from the chaos of life. 
For you, however, it’s a different story. 
“There must’ve been some mistake!” Your manager’s voice echoed through the hotel lobby. You still managed to hear her loud and clear despite sitting across the large room. “You mean there’s no room booked?”
The hotel staff only glared back at your manager, face deadpan. “I’m sorry ma’am, I don’t see your name on the list. We’re fully booked at the moment. I’m afraid I can’t help you.”
With a huff escaping her lips, your manager treks back to your figure, her shoulders slumped to the ground. You didn’t even need to ask. Based on her defeated demeanour, and the fact that you overheard the whole conversation from where you sat, you understood; you had no place to stay. Here you were; in the paradise of Jeju Island, homeless for the weekend. Stress washed over you.
Your manager whips her phone out, swiping aggressively as she buried her face into the screen. “I’m so sorry, y/n, but we’re gonna have to find a motel tonight. I’ll look for the nearest one right now.” 
“That isn’t necessary, miss.”  A voice perks up behind you. A voice that needed no introduction as your frame froze in its place. Sunghoon sauntered away from his visibly worried manager, and towards your sunken figures, hands nonchalantly in his pockets. “You two can stay with me and my manager.”  
You choked. What sick game was Sunghoon playing? 
Your manager politely waves her hands to refuse, but you quickly step in, hands crossed over your puffed chest as an act of defence. You barely even managed to keep steady eye contact. “We don’t want your help. A motel will do just fine.”
“No one should have to pay extra just for a motel,” Sunghoon reasons, not backing down. “We also booked the deluxe suite; there’s plenty of room for the four of us.” 
Your manager’s resolve quickly faded away the moment Sunghoon mentioned paying extra for a last minute room. Her eyes grew wary, shaky. The harsh reality of finances crashing down on her in an instant. She wasn’t going to give in so easily, was she? 
She was.
She looked at you with doe-like eyes. “We should accept their offer, y/n. It’s only for the weekend.”
Before you knew it, you and your bags were being taken up to the top floor of the hotel. Into the deluxe suite that belonged to the one and only Park Sunghoon.
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A defeated sigh. It was the only reaction your body could muster amidst the sheer buffoonery of your current situation. Being forced to room with the man that drove you crazy; how's that for comedy?
You shot up from the edge of the bed, the thought of your depressing situation suddenly parching your throat. You pivot towards the kitchen, attempting to pay no mind to the series of zips and rummaging of luggage currently happening in the living room. You didn’t want to give Sunghoon the light of day, even if he was just innocently unpacking his suitcase. 
Crisp ice water slides down your throat as your eyes wander. Stubbornly. Eventually landing on the man you swore you would ignore. 
His eyes were on you, too.  
You quickly dart away, your heart beating rapidly.
Sunghoon roughly clears his throat, the sound echoing around the walls of the living room. You glance back, watching him cling unto the nape of his neck with one hand, while the other loosely tosses a card onto the armrest of the couch. Almost immediately after, Sunghoon turned away from you. “Here’s the second keycard—your manager forgot to pick it up before she left.” 
You only nodded, shuffling over to retrieve it. Of course he didn’t consider throwing it somewhere actually close to you.
The closer you got to the furniture, the more Sunghoon’s belongings appeared before you. His sweaters and shirts were folded in a neat and compact manner and sitting at the corner of the couch, his towel draped over the backrest. Miscellaneous items were littered across the surface of the couch, items you didn’t pay much attention to. Except for one.
A polaroid stuck out of Sunghoon’s wallet. You checked to see if Sunghoon was watching before snatching it away. It was an image of a younger Sunghoon standing in the middle, holding up a cake as frosting was smudged on his nose and cheek. A wide grin was plastered on his face as other trainees surrounded him. You were in the picture, too, right by his side as you held onto one side of the cake. A finger covered in frosting suggests that you were the culprit of his smudged face. He didn’t seem to care, considering Sunghoon’s cheeky grin was directed at you. Devil horns were drawn on Sunghoon’s head, and a messy heart was traced around your face. 
A date was etched into the bottom of the polaroid. 12/08/2018. Sunghoon’s birthday; the last birthday he had before leaving the company. Your eyes widen, heart racing.
Why would he keep something like this?
“You still have this?” Your voice trembled. Sunghoon’s head whips back to find you holding the polaroid, his eyes widened in surprise. He treks over to you, swatting the picture away from your hands. “What are you doing!?”
You fidget with your fingers, eyes gazing on the carpet. How long has he had that picture? What did that mean? You look up at Sunghoon once again, slow steps bringing you closer to his frame. 
“Why do you still have this?”
“I just do.” Sunghoon’s eyes held yours hostage. He didn’t say much, yet the weight of his stare was enough to move worlds.
His eyes quickly diverted from your gaze as he continued to unpack. You nipped at your lip; Sunghoon’s answer wasn’t enough. Questions spiralled in your head. Your world was unravelling before you. You retired back to your room, your back keeping the door shut. Your face was flushed, your chest heaved. 
What was Park Sunghoon doing to you? 
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“We’ll have you two start from the couch and then move onto the bed. We’ll end the scene when Sunghoon takes his shirt off.” Your director instructs, his hands blocking the scene directions on your last official filming session. 
Normally, you would’ve been elated at that fact. However, if this trip has proven anything to you, it's that the universe wants you to suffer. And so, this exciting final scene you were currently stuck filming was none other than a steamy makeout session between the two main characters at a romantic getaway. 
Fear shot down your spine, your brain hot-wiring at that very moment. You were already overwhelmed with the revelation that Sunghoon’s polaroid from last night brought you. By then, your heart was already leaping from your chest. The last thing you needed was to lock lips with the man responsible for your malfunctioning brain. 
Nevertheless, you hiked towards the couch like a mindless drone. You’ve given up on fighting for what you want. Sitting on the couch, you suddenly grew overwhelmingly conscious of your clothes—or lack thereof. You dawned a tank top etched in lace trim, shorts of the same pattern, and a satin robe to cover your arms. You knew that this outfit was necessary for the scene, but that didn’t stop fear from shooting down your spine.
Sunghoon soon joins you on the couch, dawning a simple white button down, with a few buttons undone—exposing his bare chest. Instinctively, you hug your chest, shielding your skin with the satin fabric of your robe. You caught a glance of his collarbones, the way his adam’s apple bobbed as he gulped. Heat creeped against your cheeks. 
Sunghoon averted his gaze from you, yet you still felt as though all attention was within your grasp. His hand rested on his knee, fingers fidgeting the wrinkles of his trousers. 
“Tell me if you get uncomfortable, alright? I’ll stop—even if the scene isn’t finished.”
There he was, reassuring you like the caring asshole he is. Your heart leaped.
“Okay.”
It didn’t take long before your lips were snug against his, his weight overpowering yours as he moved to lay on top of you. Sunghoon’s hand snaked against your jaw, gently creeping further to the back of your head to provide you a makeshift headrest. Your hands reached up around his neck and his shirt collar, pulling his frame closer against your exposed chest. Sunghoon’s skin was warm. His other hand grips your waist, a finger poking beneath your shield of fabric. His touch was soft.
Your heart was pounding so hard, it pulsated through your ears.
This was just a scene, you reminded yourself. 
Your breaths grew hazy as Sunghoon lifted your frame into his arms. You wrapped your legs around his hips instantly—clockwork. In just a few steps, Sunghoon’s knees reached the edge of the bed. He laid you back down gently, your frame sinking into the plush of the bed. Your arms refused to let go, holding him closer for more kisses. Your stomach flipped in on itself. Sunghoon gently pulled himself away, standing up straight. You watched as his hands trailed up to the buttons of his shirt, unbuttoning them one by one. You couldn’t bring yourself to look away.
Within seconds, Sunghoon slipped the white fabric off of his broad shoulders, tossing it aside before bending back down to meet your lips once more. Your fingertips grazed against his skin tracing his shoulder blades. His skin grew warmer against your touch, as if you were lighting him on fire.
This was just a scene, you reminded yourself once more.
“CUT!” Your director’s voice pierced through your ears, pulling you back to reality. Sunghoon immediately jumps off of you, trekking off to retrieve his shirt back. His back was turned towards you, but a quick glance could confirm his cheeks were currently flaring red. You, however, couldn’t say much on the matter—you were in even more of a mess than he was. 
The two of you linked eyes for a split second, tension fogging up the air around you. All while your heart was still pounding so loud your ears could hear. 
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Distracted. Park Sunghoon was distracted. And it was all thanks to you. 
The spice of liquor scratched against his throat, the ice cubes kissing his lips. He huffed a sigh, running a hand through his hair for the umteenth time that evening of the wrap up party. He didn’t even bother listening to the boring speech his director was giving, or anyone else who was talking that night—it all washed away, like grains of sand parallel to a body of water. 
Sunghoon couldn’t figure out what exactly was causing this feeling. Maybe it was the fact that he so foolishly let you stay over in his hotel room. Now, he was stuck sleeping just a few paces away from the woman he loved but couldn’t have. Torture. He gulped down another sour sip. Or maybe it was the way you kissed him that afternoon. Even if it was just for a simple scene, the way you melted into his lips made Sunghoon wish everything was real. Maybe he was drunk on your kisses, and a little bit of booze, too. 
His eyes wandered, only to be led straight to you. With a glass of wine in your hand, you stood in a small huddle consisting of your manager and a few other faces Sunghoon couldn’t recognize. 
Maybe it was the way you glistened without the need for any light. You lit the dim banquet hall up with your smile. The smile Sunghoon missed so dearly.
Another gulp.
Or maybe it was the way you wouldn’t even spare Sunghoon a glance since the wrap up party. The way he had let himself get carried away trying to get close to you, and ultimately driving you further away. Maybe Sunghoon just needed to finally accept everything. 
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A distraction. You needed a distraction. From Park Sunghoon, specifically.
Park Sunghoon had unwantedly staked his claim on your brain for longer than you wanted. The man you knew to be selfish and cruel, willing to break your friendship in the blink of an eye, was turning your world upside down. He was caring for you, ensuring your comfort, putting you first. It all confused you, set your brain into overdrive. 
And that polaroid. The picture the size of your palm, capable of burning everything you knew into flames of the unknown. It left you with endless questions; though one stood out like a sore thumb. 
Did Sunghoon miss you?
That was an absurd thought. 
Nevertheless, it was a thought that nipped and itched at your brain for the rest of the evening, and you needed a way out. Your first course of action was to hide. Sitting at a table that was oceans away from where Sunghoon and his manager sat during your director’s long and drawn out speech. Shoving and squeezing yourself into groups of people you barely knew; you basically trailed your manager around like a lost puppy. 
When you weren’t wandering around aimlessly, however, you were tucked away in the washrooms, calling Kiri as you sat hunched over on a closed toilet seat, whisper-shouting as you explained the escalated situation.  
“Just ask him, y/n.” Kiri huffed over the phone. “It’ll give you peace of mind.”
“I can’t just approach him!”
“Why not?”
“I dunno, I just can’t think straight around him! He’s constantly on my mind and he drives me crazy! I think my blood pressure spikes the moment I’m near him—”
“y/n?” Kiri interrupts. You gulp. “Yeah?”
“Do you like Sunghoon?”
You choked, turning a few heads of guests washing their hands at the bathroom sink. Was Kiri being serious? You didn’t like Sunghoon. He drove you clinically insane, he was so unpredictable it made you want to rip your own hair out. Whenever you were around him, your heart stubbornly danced beneath your chest, your mind went haywire.
Oh god. 
You liked Park Sunghoon.
“I-I have to go.” You hung up at the speed of light. 
You didn’t need a distraction. You needed answers. 
Stepping out of the bathroom, you scanned the venue. Your eyes landed on a glass of wine resting in someone’s hand. Your eyes then pivot to the open bar, empty and barren. A lightbulb springs from your head. 
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The last thing Sunghoon expected to see tonight was you, piss drunk and toppled over on the counter of the open bar. 
Your face was hidden in the nest of your forearms, your hair was messy and spread out. Sunghoon was positive a strand or two had fallen into your mouth. Peaking through the bush of your hair, Sunghoon gazed at your droopy eyes, eyelids practically sealed shut by fatigue. Empty glasses outlined your figure, but you couldn’t bother to pay it any mind. The outside world didn’t matter when you were this drunk. 
That was the problem. You couldn’t care less about your surroundings; it was dangerous. 
Sunghoon nipped at his lips, his eyes holding onto your frame like his life depended on it. He knew leaving you alone and unattended was irresponsible, that it would place your life in grave danger. You were smack dab in the middle of a social event, strangers littered all around you. Anything could happen at any moment. 
Nevertheless, Sunghoon also knew your current resolve when it came to him. He knew you hated him, you couldn’t stand being near him. A hand ran through his hair. Would he even be of any help?
Sunghoon sighed, drilling his hands through his pockets. Someone else could probably help you just fine. You probably didn’t need him. 
In 3 seconds he changed his mind.
A fire burned in his chest, his jaw tensing as he saw your passed out frame. Sunghoon marched over to your seat, his blazer slipping off of his shoulders and into his hands. Sunghoon soon spread the blazer over your shoulders, which were exposed and laced with goosebumps from the air-conditioned room. He caught the attention of people passing by when he pulled your frame up by your shoulders, gently resting your head against his chest as he swung down to pick up your legs. He swung your frame away from the open bar and out of the banquet hall. 
He trudged towards the hotel elevators, your figure slumped in his arms. He couldn’t help but glance at your sleeping frame. 
Even now, you looked beautiful as ever. 
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Opening your eyes, you were greeted with two things; the hotel room’s ceiling, and Park Sunghoon’s blazer enveloping your torso. 
Your stomach was flipping in on itself, your heart racing. It actually worked. Your suspicions were right. Park Sunghoon actually brought you to your hotel room—your and his room, anyway. 
To say that you didn’t feel just a little bit guilty would be a big understatement. Pretending you were drunk out of your mind at an open bar, hoping the man you just found out you had feelings for would see you and take you to his room just to test whether or not he cared for you—maybe it wasn’t the best idea. You, however, were desperate. You needed to know where Sunghoon’s heart stood.
As you rose up into a sitting position, A figure shuffled into the room. A figure that needed no introduction.
“You’re not really drunk, are you?” Sunghoon accused, a hand dropping a glass of water gently onto the desk left of his hips. You only gulp, murmuring your response. 
“M-maybe.”
Exasperated, Sunghoon heaves a deep sigh. His head is thrown back, his adam’s apple bobbing up and down. You watched as he shuffled over to you, his figure plopping onto the edge of your bed. 
“Don’t scare me like that!”
Sunghoon’s eyes held you hostage, boring into you. As if he was reaching into your soul and claiming it as his own. You, however, stood still, in a trance. Unable to move under his presence. A blanket of silence fell on top of you—it was so silent you could hear your heartbeat pulsating in your ears. Quickly, you snap out of your trance, eyes severing the contact as you scurried away from his frame. 
“Then don’t get so scared.” you spat defensively.
Sunghoon clung onto the nape of his neck. “How could I not? It’s dangerous—”
“Just—stop it already!” you snapped, interrupting him as your palms pushed into the mattress. “Stop getting scared for me, caring for me—stop that!”
Sunghoon's eyes gaze down at his feet before trailing up to meet yours. As you continue, your eyes couldn’t help but follow suit, hanging onto his gaze like your life depended on it. You shoot up from your spot on the bed, your heart stuck in your windpipe as you towered over him.
“You’re supposed to hate me! Call me names, make fun of me. Instead, you’re this caring, sweet guy that I can’t stop thinking about! I mean, we’re supposed to be enemies. You know, when you left the agency that day; when you left me that day, I swore I would hate you with all my heart. How the hell are you gonna be my enemy when my heart races at the thought of you? If you’re all that's on my mind?”
You gulp. “How the hell am I supposed to hate you when I like you so much?” 
“You like me?”
A hand slapped over your mouth. Sunghoon’s eyes widened as he gazed up at you. His jaw practically grazed the floor. He blinked a few times as your heartbeat pounded again in your ears. 
“Leaving the agency was never my choice.” Sunghoon’s voice was hushed.
What?
Slowly you sat down. Sunghoon watched you, his eyes holding yours hostage the entire time you sunk down onto your side of the bed. 
“I know that this sounds like some sick excuse, but I never wanted to leave. The CEO saw how close we were during our days as trainees, and thought that it would threaten our careers if we ever had any rumours spread about us.” A hand brushed over Sunghoon’s hair. “So, he asked me to leave. The CEO had no plans on telling you about any of this, so I had to keep it from you, too.”
Suddenly, Sunghoon slid off of the bed, kneeling before your figure. He gazed up at you once more. “I’m sorry—for everything.”
Your heart was racing. Sunghoon continued. “I’m sorry for keeping the truth from you, for leaving you that day. None of that would’ve happened if I was careful, if my heart wasn’t so stubborn.”
“What are you saying?” Your voice trembled. 
Sunghoon heaved a deep sigh. “I liked you, y/n. I liked you so much that I could barely keep it in, barely keep composure. I tried my hardest to get over you, but it was no use.”
Sunghoon’s eyes glistened under the amber hotel lights. “I knew my feelings for you only grew.”
A thread hung in the balance as the two of you continued to stare into each other’s eyes—a thread you wouldn’t dare sever, never in this lifetime. You watched as they sparkled; held the stars beneath their surface. You watched as they stared lovingly at you, yet hungry for you all at the same time. You also watched as your own hands grew minds of their own, reaching out to Sunghoon’s cheek before stopping mid-air. “Sunghoon?”
“Hm?”
“I think I need to kiss you.”
As he pressed your trembling hands up against his soft cheek, Sunghoon’s lips folded up into a grin, his voice melting like honey. “I’m all yours.”
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Park Sunghoon tasted sweet against your lips— Sweet floral scents, most likely his cologne, puffed out from his frame as you held him close. You snaked an arm around his neck, fingers clinging around the nape. His palms hooked onto your waist, fingertips digging into your skin. As if you were minutes away from leaving his touch; he wasn’t about to let that happen again. Your grip on him grew tighter, too. You didn’t want him slipping from your fingertips either. Never again. 
A part of you felt warm and fuzzy; this kiss was real. 
With his weight overtaking you, Sunghoon leans further into the kiss, his lips pushing deep into yours. Your shoulders press deep into the plush of the mattress as his figure shells over you, shielding you from the outside world. Fireworks pop against your skin. Your stomach flips in on itself each time Sunghoon nibbles at your bottom lip; teasing you. Your hands roam around his back, tracing each bump and crevice of his body, relishing in his touch. His palm cradled your head, lacing between your hair strands. It was as if you were floating on a cloud. 
With one swipe of his tongue at your lips, Sunghoon deepened your kiss, his tongue sliding against yours. His movements grow rash, fierce. As if he’d been starving for centuries; and you were his next meal. His hand glides up and down your waist, your skin tight dress doing nothing to conceal the friction. Heat bundles up between your legs.
You wanted more.
A moan slips from your lips, entrapped in your kiss. That, however, didn’t stop Sunghoon from hearing you loud and clear; from igniting a flame within his chest. With you, his mind was a ticking bomb. Gently, Sunghoon pushes away from the kiss, his breath hazing against your lips. His eyes flickered open, immediately gazing down at you. 
“How far are we going, tonight?” Sunghoon huffed. “I’m not moving until you tell me.”
Your fingers traced his muscles. They were tense and flexed; he was clearly restraining himself. Stopping himself from indulging in you like some beast. You gazed up at him. The way his collar bones peaked through his neckline, his cheeks flushed a rosy pink; as if he was drunk on your presence. The way his hair hung over his starry eyes. 
You’ve never felt more certain of something in your life.
Your hand cradled Sunghoon’s cheeks. “I want you, Hoonie. All of you.
At the sound of your nickname, Sunghoon’s eyes grew hungry, dark as he harshly pressed into your lips. His tongue slid up against yours. They tangle, intertwine; eliciting another mewl from your lips. Sunghoon was certain his brain short circuited at your voice. Slyly, Sunghoon pressed his knee against your inner thigh, outlining its frame before slowly inching closer to your centre. The pressure sent shivers down your spine, your back instinctively arching forwards. Like you were aching to be closer, to hold him tighter. 
Sunghoon’s knee pressed further into your clothed core; one that was practically soaked. He moved the knee up and down, left to right; your brows furrowed in euphoria. A full, booming moan echoed, earning a needy grunt from the man who drove you insane. 
“That sound is driving me crazy, baby.” Sunghoon gritted through his teeth. “Moan more for me, yeah?” 
You didn’t even need to try. 
Slowly, Sunghoon peppered kisses down your jaw, sucking against your searing skin. With a hand at the small of your back, Sunghoon lifts you up from the bed, his hand trailing up and fiddling with the zipper of your dress. He pulls the zipper down, and you’ve never been more grateful for built-in bra pads. His lips, however, never once breached contact, his lips gently migrating down to your collar bones, your chest, and eventually the swell of your breasts. Your breath hitched as you felt his warmth circulate your nipples. Sunghoon takes a breast into his lips, his tongue swirling and flicking against your stiffened. You whimper at the contact, your core pooling in lust.
You couldn’t take it anymore.
After blindly searching for his hand, you tug on his wrist, positioning it between his thighs. Sunghoon smirked against your skin, the vibrations of his chuckle shuddering through your body—he heard you, loud and clear. After pulling down the rest of your dress, Sunghoon feathers his touch against your inner thighs, teasing you. You throw your head back, swimming in ecstasy. 
Softly, too soft, he drew circles around your clothed pussy. He grazed against your clit, driving you crazy. For a split second, Sunghoon parted his lips from your skin, moving up to meet your ear. “Where do you want my fingers, darling?”
You whimper, trying to find the words as Sunghoon toyed with your folds beneath the fabric. “In—fuck—inside. Please.” 
In an instant, Sunghoon pushed aside the measly fabric, finding your core dripping in heat; dripping for him. A digit slides into your folds, exploring your walls. He pumps his finger slowly, in and out as your back arches in desire. Your body spazzed and jolted. His knuckles grazed against your walls as he pumped faster and faster. Sunghoon slyly pushes in another finger, and then another, stretching your pussy around the width. You felt every inch of him, every section of his skin. As his pumps grow faster, harsher, Sunghoon’s fingers curl inwards, hitting your spot. 
You couldn’t keep in your noises, your lew moan bouncing against the walls, the same way your hips bounced against his fingers. In a weak effort to quiet down, you bite your finger. Sunghoon, however, quickly notices, gripping your hand by the wrist. “Don’t—I wanna hear you, princess.” 
You only whimper a response, your legs growing further apart with each pump of his fingers. A knot begins to crumple together at the pit of your stomach, your moans growing louder and louder. You found yourself shouting Sunghoon’s name without realising it, gripping into his skin. Sunghoon dips his hips against your bare core, pressing his digits further into you. You felt a tenting sensation against your core. 
The knot grew tighter and tighter as Sunghoon’s pumps grew hasty and messy. Wet sloshes echo in the room, though they were overpowered by your lust-ridden mewls. Sunghoon grinds into you, the metal of his belt buckle shocking your core frozen. 
“Cum on me, princess.” Sunghoon demands.
On cue, the knot finally pops open, and juices drip out of your pussy as you scream out his name. It coated your walls, his fingers, even the bed beneath you. Sunghoon made sure you watched as he took his dirty fingers into his mouth, sucking your sweet juices dry. 
“How much more can you handle, baby?” Sunghoon askes between huffs. You glance down, the zipper of his pant’s barely holding in the tent beneath his pants. You only nod, lust hazing over your eyes. Sunghoon smiles, kissing your temple. “Good. We’re not even close to done, princess.”
In a few swift moments, Sunghoon unbuckled his pants. You watched as the fabric dropped down to his knees, his length revealing itself. Your eyes gawked at the sight, earning only a chuckle from Sunghoon as he brought your wrist up to his lips.
“Only you make me like this, y/n.” He kissed your skin. 
An ache clouded your pussy. Suddenly, you felt empty, needy. You needed him. You mewl, gaining his attention in an instant. “I need your cock, Hoon.”
Rolling a condom around his dick, Sunghoon positions his tip at your entrance. You send a signal before Sunghoon presses into you. You throw your head back, eyes rolling to the heavens at the contact. His cock filled you up, grazing and sliding against your walls. Your skin slaps against each other with each slow thrust, the dirty noises filling up the room. Sunghoon throws your legs over his shoulders, giving him more access to your wet, needy pussy. Your hands gripped the sheets; anything to stay tethered to reality. 
Sunghoon’s thrusts grow messy and rough. That familiar knot bundles up beneath your stomach as an idea pops into your mind. 
“Can I go on top?” You huff breathlessly. Sunghoon gulps, covering his embarrassed face with the back of his palm. “Y-yeah. Please.”
You and Sunghoon clamour around to switch positions, reaching for random kisses back and forth. Your back faced him, your ass grinding against his abs, your shoulder blades rubbing against his chest. Slowly, you sink onto his dick, your folds enveloping his throbbing length. Sunghoon grunts closely behind you, concealing his sounds with kisses against your neck. His hands roam around you; digging into your hips, fondling your breasts. Though, it was the mischievous massaging of your clit that sent your brain to short circuit. You bounced on his cock faster, your and his moans intertwining in the night air. 
“You don’t know how many times I’ve dreamt of this, princess,” Sunghoon strained. “Of you bouncing on my cock—shit—just like that.”
His words send butterflies through your stomach. Your pussy clamps down on his cock as the two of you scream each other’s name. You weren’t far from your second climax of the night. One more bounce against his dick sent your juices overflowing. Sunghoon’s pools up at the tip of his condom. Slowly, you pull away from his length, plopping down beside him on the bed, huffing from exhaustion. Sunghoon lays down with you, cradling his frame in your arms. 
“That was amazing.” You hum into his skin. Sunghoon traces small shapes along your bare back. “You were amazing, baby.”
Suddenly, the jingle of keys sound from across the hotel room. 
Your managers. They were back from the party.
Uh oh.
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“You realise how dangerous this is, right?” Your CEO pinches his nose bridge, leaning back into his office chair. “The press won’t react lightly to this.”
You and Sunghoon glanced at each other, shoulders pressed against one another as you stood before your CEO. Sweat beaded from your forehead. Though, you had every right to be nervous; you were currently asking for permission to go public with Park Sunghoon. The man you loved most. 
“Yes—” 
“Let me finish,” Your CEO raised his hand. “But, seeing as though you both are highly regarded and successful artists, and no longer trainees—I’ll allow it.”
The two of you lit up, immediately gazing at each other with smiles. You cling onto one another in a sweet embrace. As he only half-payed attention to your CEO’s orders of letting his company know, Sunghoon peppers kisses on your cheek. 
Sunghoon pushes your hair behind your ear, smiling. “You’re finally mine, baby.”
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huellitaa · 11 months ago
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good morning! 𐙚๋࣭⭑⋅˚♡.
i dont think people quite understand the importance of having a good morning routine. how we spend our morning sets the tone for the day and its a very important, peaceful, underrated & overlooked part of life i think we should appreciate more !! ♡
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 the importance of a good morning
gives a sense of control
sets the mood for the day
develops healthy habits
boosts productivity and energy levels
helps to manage work & schedules
improves memory and focus
...anddd much much more. i love love love mornings so maybe i'm a liittle biased but they're so overhated & have so many positive benefits we should def make use of! ♡
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 1. gratitude
idk if its just me but waking up early and prioritising my mornings makes me a lot a lot more grateful for everything i have in my life. appreciate just how lucky we are to be able to even have a bed to wake up in in the morning. be so grateful for being able to see the sunlight through your window and being able to see another day. its a luxury, privilege and blessing to be alive.
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 2. dress up!
getting ready is always my FAVOURITE part of the morning. "but im not going anywhere" "im just going to school" "theres no point" no. idc. why do you have to have a reason? why cant you just do it for yourself? when i look cute i feel cute & when i feel cute i feel good. dress up do ur hair do ur makeup (if u wear it) ! look good -> feel good. 💖
(🗒️🎀 note: i also have a post on looking good at school here! ♡)
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 3. time management
set the perfect time for you. that revolves around the time it takes you to get ready, to travel to your destination, etc. and set that back by 30 minutes. so for example say said time would be 7am -> you'd then change that to 6:30. that way youve got the extra time to just focus on yourself and sort out your day, choose what youre wearing, eat a lovely breakfast, drink something yummy, exercise, pilates, tidy up, etc. ♡
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 4. romanticism & enjoyment
id say this goes hand in hand with time management but make it so that you aren't rushing and stressing in the morning. enjoying the little things makes life as a whole so much more enjoyable. mornings often set the tone for the day, so if you have a calm and gentle morning, youre more likely to have a good day! ♡
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 5. clear mind
the third sibling of time management & romanticism is definitely being able to go into the day with a clear head. dumping down all your emotions in a journal, in your notes, whatever you use & having your day clearly planned out is a massive motivator for me. i use notion since im more of a visual learner and enjoy having things laid out pretty and neat in front of me but it can be anything you like! (notes, paper, journal, etc.) this ensures you go into the day without a ton of thoughts and worries weighing on your head already before you even start.
so maybe im a little biased because i really love mornings but think about it. feeling the sun through your window in the early dawn, watching it rise and listening to the birds, having some downtime to clear your mind and just be free for a little while before chaos of life begins again. i love you and wish you the best in all you do today 🫶🩷💕
all my love 🫶🩷🎀
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hannieehaee · 1 year ago
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content: idol!jeonghan x idol!reader, very messily organized fluff, one sided crush (kinda), a lil bit of shit talking about hybe, etc.
wc: 397
pt.2 (m)
masterlist
idol!jeonghan and hybeidol!you who have seen each other in passing but have only ever interacted in group settings due to working at the same company and sharing a few mutual friends.
having never spoken one-on-one, it's a bit awkward when you find yourself facing jeonghan's back as he unknowingly blocks the artist-designed entrance at the hybe building. his attention preoccupied by cursing at the door while exasperatedly whining at someone on the phone.
you hear him complain on the phone to your mutual friend seungkwan about the face recognition repeatedly failing on him, causing him to have to call his manager to come down early in the morning multiple times a week.
you've always liked jeonghan, watching him from afar whenever the 97s in seventeen invite you over to hang out during dance practice, but you've always felt intimidated by the elder's pretty looks.
feeling pity for the pretty boy in front of you, and wanting to finally make contact, you make your presence known and offer to let him in yourself.
startled by your sudden presence, he jumps back, but agrees and thanks you on your way to the elevator, a way too pretty smile on his face.
"i think i should just take the hint that hybe hates me," he jokes once in the elevator with you.
you spend a good five minutes traveling all the way to the 15th floor with jeonghan making lighthearted conversation and maybe even flirting? a bit (or so you hope).
jotting it down to be your wishful thinking, you keep the conversation friendly, now walking him towards his designated practice room, knowing theres yet another face recognition door blocking the way.
before going your separate ways, he asks you for your phone, taking it from your hands as you pull it out.
"you can help me in from now on. gotta relieve my manager from his door-opening duties at some point, right?", he jokes as he hands you your phone back. his number now in it and a text sent to him for yours. "same time and place tomorrow?"
wanting to see him again, you agree and part ways, excited to see him again the next morning, despite knowing you have no schedule the next day.
little do you know that he'd also continue showing up early mornings just to see you even on his days off.
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changbinsboobs · 27 days ago
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Cum back
The long awaited Maknae Line Cuddle Reading is finally here🙌🏻
I hope y'all enjoy!
Han
Don't see him as a big cuddler tbh. I think he does every once in a while when its convenient, but i see him preferring to have his own space more. Like still laying in one bed with his partner, looking something together, but everyone has their personal space. Maybe when initially laying downs theres 2 minutes of cuddling and then everyone gies back to their own place🥲 im also seeing him preferring cuddles when its dark, so either early in the morning when waking up or late at night when doing movie night or falling asleep.
Felix
Cuddling with him is a part of daily routine, i think it'll be happening all day long, at every convenient chance. Cuddles will also be really warm and feel...ugh uk that feeling when you've been out and about the whole day, and ur exhausted and finally lay in bed and ur spine decompresses and u literally can feel the tension and stress exiting ur body? Thats the feeling u'll get when cuddling with felix. Of relaxation, but not quite. Just purging u off negative energy and tension. Cuddling will also be filled with talks and fun and jokes etc im hearing and also - im seeing he won't be shying away from pda. Im seeing lots of cuddling and embracing in public. Im seeing also firm grip(?) and compression. I think he likes receiving deep pressure and probably also gives that in his cuddle sessions too. Im also seeing feet massage.
Seungmin
Seungmin sadly is also one of the non-cuddlers. Im hearing "its a waste of time" and he would prefer to indulge in a hobby by himself, get some work done, run errands tasks etc, or spend quality time with his partner (but like doing something together, actively). But just laying on the couch, together, doesn't seem very appealing to him. He doesn't like it as far as i can pick up on the energy. Despite all that im seeing him cuddling A LOT nonetheless, probably because his partner loves it, and he loves his partner and wants to make them happy, so persay he doesn't like cuddling itself but he likes making his partner happy. Not seeing many clues on how he actually cuddles, but the card shows strong focus on the partner and mirroring to some degree so i assume he just cuddles the way his partner likes. So there's no one set way - it depends on who he's with. Also another important point is that this is not the case for all his partners. The person he's with has to be very special, and he has to love them very much. So yeah - they get that special treatment cuddles.
I.N
He got almost all the same cards as felix😂 i'd say he really loves cuddling, he does it often and likes to keep a constant "schedule". Like he would definitely notice and miss it if today he only cuddled his partner once, for example. Or if in the morning they forgot or didn't have time to cuddle. He'll definitely notice the difference and miss it throughout the day. I think he needs that constant energy to keep him strong and balanced (like mentally/emotionally) and it just gives him a sense of comfort and makes him feel loved in the relationship. I think physical contacts very important to him. I also see him get easily aroused when cuddling and often wanting to slap some cheeks after the cuddle sesh. Im seeing high libido overall, may be a reason for why physical contacts so important to him and why he needs that to feel lm throughout the day. Now i don't mean him needing that every 30 min. But he needs a consistent routine as i said, for example in the morning, then when he gets home, then after dinner, then while watching a movie, during cooking, before falling asleep etc. like just once for a few minutes isn't enough. Not getting much insight on the cuddling itself tho...so i think he doesn't have much preferences as long as its cuddling and just physical contact and just like...their bodies being pressed close to one another. I think he likes cuddling in a layed down position, like he's on his back and his partners on top yk? But not just the head the whole body. Or he has his head on their belly or butt. Just something of that sort, more horizontal cuddling.
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brucewaynehater101 · 8 months ago
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Yes! Yes yes yes!! Tim making a functional support network for younger heros! He also offers them opportunities that make being a hero easier, aka he sets up a program through DI that "hires" superheroesbut doesn't actually have them do anything for the company other than Good PR. He just goes up to these 16 to 25 year old heroes as Red Robin and says, "hey, I'm working with Drake Industries on a project to help young Superheroes like yourself. Would your Civilan Persona be interested in a word from home coding job that including coding lessons? The pay is 2,000 dollars every week, you make your own hours, and as long as you turn in your projects on time you get to do them whenever you have time between patrols and missions. Plus theres insurance that doesnt care how you got hurt."
It's a simple way to make sure all of them stay housed and fed without having to constantly worry about which shifts they can miss due to emergencies without loosing their job! And insurance so they don't have to sit at home stitching themselves up! Sure not everyone is cool with the idea of just telling Red Robin their secret identity (they don't know he already knows) but Tim offers them a form that they can sign up alongside 3 to 6 trusted friends and all of them will get jobs so that even if the list gets Leake the majority of it *are* civilians so it will be a lot safer. There are already hundreds of civilians with that exact job from DI and maybe a dozen heroes. Their identity will be safe, Tim swears it. He always adds on that if they do get found out, he'll take it up with the CEO himself, wink.
This, unfortunately, leads to rumors that Red Robin and Tim Drake have a Batman/Bruce thing going on. Why else is Red Robin so sure that Tim would listen to him?
Sure, Red could threaten the CEO. However, he's also closely working with D.I. Continually, didn't Red stop collaborating with the JL? Tim swears he's not funding them for the younger heroes, but what if it's cause of whatever happened to Red?
That could be a funny rumor to pop up that Tim would definitely feed into.
But yeah! I agree that juggling a job and being a vigilante would be rough. College and work at the same time was tough, and those had set schedules!!!! I can't imagine spontaneously trying to constantly save the city while attending a job/school with regular hours.
There's definitely some issues Tim needs to work out (pubicly providing financial support for vigilantes would get him arrested [the JL is somewhat government sanctioned]), but this hiring idea might solve some of that.
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sugaaarcookie · 1 month ago
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weepy baby vi - inspired by this post by @berrymoos (hi!! hi i loved it !!! she's just a baby !!!)
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There had been a lot going on recently. Council meetings, paperwork paperwork paperwork, trainings, endless appointments and a packed schedule, all on top of a lack of sleep- Vi was just about ready to crack under the pressure. While Caitlyn thrived in high stress situations, Vi was becoming burnt out.
Which was why she was in Caitlyn's room alone, sat on top of the bed with a colouring book. Vi didn't much like the texture of crayons- they smelt weird and left a weird feeling on her fingertips. She much preferred using a set of beautiful brush pens Caitlyn had gifted her. Even when regressed, Vi's colouring was neat. It had to be neat, and the colouring had to be perfect. Vi didn't know how to relax- at all. There was no moment that she wasn't tense.
Vi turned over the page to find that the colours from her pens had bled through- she'd forgotten to put a protective sheet of paper between the pages. For a few moments, all Vi could do was stare at the pages, eyes welling up with tears. Distraught and overwhelmed, Vi threw the colouring book across the room, knocked her pen set over and started to sob, curling up in a ball.
It didn't take long for Caitlyn to come running, her hands rubbing at Vi's back.
"Vi? Vi, sweetheart, what's wrong?"
"Colouring-" she sobbed.
Caitlyn pulled Vi into her lap, wrapping her arms around her and beginning to run her fingers through her hair as she gently shushed her.
"Oh, my love. Did your colouring go wrong?"
Vi nodded, overwhelmed with relief that Caitlyn wasn't mocking her- she felt so stupid, so so stupid, but so upset that she couldn't even do one thing right, the thing that was supposed to help her. She could feel Caitlyn reaching over for something, pulling a few items over, but Vi was too busy sobbing into Cait's shoulder to care all that much.
"It's okay, Violet. I can fix it. See?"
Vi lifted her head, looking to see the page missing. There were no traces of the bleed-through now. She coughed, sniffling as she tried to catch her breath again.
"Do you remember how to do balloon breathing? We gotta pretend when we breathe in, our lungs are balloons that inflate and deflate."
Vi liked balloon breathing. It helped the both of them when panic attacks struck. It got a pattern going and a distraction. You couldn't inflate a balloon properly with little breaths.
"There you go, baby. Tell you what, I think that you're very very tired and you need a little break and some time with Mama Cait. Does that sound good?"
Vi gave a nod as Caitlyn handed her a paci and a soft bunny. Caitlyn stood, picking up the items that had been thrown across the room and setting them aside carefully. No harm done. Cait would rather Vi throw pens and colouring books, harmless things, than hit walls or throw heavier things. No harm done.
Caitlyn came back, lying against the pillows and opening her arms. Without hesitating, Violet curled up, snuggling into Cait's side, paci in her mouth and bunny in her arms.
"Shall we watch a film, hm? I know choosing's a little hard right now, so Mama can pick.."
It was such a soft film, and with Caitlyn's fingers gently running through her hair, it wasn't long before Vi had fallen asleep.
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i made this to go with it !! theres the paci and bunny cait gave vi :3 i also made an icon for it but i dont know if i wanna share yet. maybe if ppl ask for icons i will share it
i too usually need a nap if i start getting upset over little things... even if i'm big
feel free to send me asks/requests about my regression ocs or arcane!
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redr0sewrites · 1 year ago
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Blade x reader General Headcanons (sfw + nsfw)
*gently hands this to you and then scuttles away like a large cockroach* not proofread so yea <\\\3 u can tell i have a blade bias <3
🥀CW: a little angst, blade is Bad At Feelings ™️, reader is sorta assumed to be a stellaron hunter, dom/sub dynamics in the nsfw, switch!blade, knife kink/pain kink, just filth tbh
🥀 minors dni with the nsfw portion
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sfw!
we all know bladie is RIDICULOUSLY emotionally constipated- if he likes you, he is in COMPLETE AND UTTER DENIAL
he will be staring into ur soul like he hates ur guts but the whole time his heart is pounding out of his chest
he has a very stoic face, it takes a while for u to learn to read him 😭
tbh ud prob think that he hates u for a while cuz he just stares at u
once u both get over the initial awkwardness of him constantly looming over u and hovering around u and staring at u, and once u realized that no, hes not creepy or insane he just wants to be around u, u guys would probably become close friends pretty quickly!
i dont think hes the type to jump into a relationship, his commitment issues get in the way
u would DEF have to be friends first, but he would still be enamoured with u
very observant, he notices all of the little things u do
one of the very first things that tips u off to the fact that he has romantic feelings towards u would probably simply be the fact that he literally cares SO MUCH about ur life and routine
hes memorized ur schedule, how u make ur coffee/tea, what ur favorite movies and shows are, he can tell when ur sad or stressed, he just finds comfort in learning details about u
he prefers to listen in conversation rather than speak, he can listen to u for hours
if u like something or are interested in something, suddenly he is too and he wants to learn all about it
at this point all the other stellaron hunters are rooting for u two to get together
kafka would try to set u both up like all the time
shes never seen blade so devoted to someone
whenever u walk in the room, he always seems to light up a little in excitement
i honestly feel like he would confess first but only for the sake of kafka not telling u before he does💀
it would probably be after an especially tiring or exhausting mission, after the maras been making him feel shitty
blade always feels so safe around u and he would just suddenly blurt out the fact that hes in love with u
after the initial shock, when u tell him the feelings are reciprocated hes ECSTATIC
but wont show it
he'll just let out a small (but cute): smile and nod
kafka, sam, and silverwolf are in the background recording the whole thing 💀
hes awkward at first
SUCKS AT PHYSICAL CONTACT TBH
blade's love language is def acts of service
he loves doing things for you and he loves helping u, it makes him proud to know that he can help make u feel safe
will fucking destroy anyone who hurts u
like actually destroy
nobody had ever seen blade so angry or ruthless as the day u were hurt on a mission
afterwords hes cradling u in his arms, clinging to u like ur gonna disappear😭
he knows how fleeting mortal lives are and hes genuinely so afraid of losing u
hes not good at talking things out or expressing his feelings
hes also not great at apologizing but he will try for u and only for u
arguments with him kinda suck cuz he can be stubborn and doesn't understand emotions
blade would feel terrible afterwards tho
would probably sit next to u and just take ur hands in a silent apology and gently run his thumb in a soft circle on ur palm
he likes it when u wear his clothes, he can be possessive and seeing u in his (probably much larger) clothes makes him a little feral
overall, u guys have ur ups and downs, but are ultimately a power couple and he loves u sm what can i do to find me a blade smh
nsfw!
SWITCH ENERGY‼️
when hes dom, hes MEAN
blade can talk so filthy sometimes, his voice is so deep and rough and when hes got you folded in half, ruthlessly pounding into u theres nothing u love to hear more than his scornful voice switching from degradation to praise <3
into marking on both ends, he loves seeing u covered in hickeys and scratches but also enjoys being littered in stinging marks for him to admire later
i feel like blade would like positions where he can be close to u when hes dominant, such as mating press or missionary
SIZE KINK! if ur smaller thank him, he love love LOVES to use his larger stature and weight to pin u down
seeing u squirm and writhe helplessly beneath him turns him on
will pin ur wrists above ur head, leaning down to whisper the filthiest words in ur ear, the entire time his cock is thrusting so fast in and out of ur leaking hole, ur mind is melting to mush at the stimulation. on top of that, his free hand is roughly playing with ur cock/clit, while he nips and bites roughly at ur neck. its all so much, too much...
rahh i went off there for a sec
anyways <3
blade wouldn't understand the hype to exhibitionism until the both of u got together
the two of u r fucking in a storage closet while people outside r just continuing their everyday lives, his hand clamped roughly over ur mouth to silence u, but that doesnt stop his own breathy moans and growls from slipping through
i also think blade would have a knife kink, hed find sick, twisted pleasure in running a knife over ur soft skin as u squirm
hed never actually hurt u, he could never do that
u both def have a safeword
but the idea is still arousing
he isnt as vocal when dom when hes sub, when hes dom its more low growls and groans and moans while when hes sub its more moaning and whimpers and whines
when hes sub, hes so into pain
if u pull his hair, this man will immediately submit
HE HAS AN ORAL FIXATION IF U HAVE A COCK HE WOULD ADORE TO SPEND EVERY WAKING HOUR SUCKING ON IT. if ur exhausted and want to keep blade occupied (cuz his stamjna is INSANE), give him two of ur fingers to suck on<3
he just looks so pretty with ur fingers in his mouth, a small trickle of drool leaking past his parted lips as he stares up at u in utter adoration with lust filled eyes
blade is SO LOUD when u fuck him from behind, he doesnt know why he just finds it so hot
he also has a reverse size kink, someone as small as u taking control of him and using him for ur own pleasure is such a turn on
he has such insane stamina, he could have u fucking him for literal hours and still want more
esp when hes sub, there needs to be a lot of foreplay leading up to the actual sex or else he will be needy for like ever
is actually so touch starved its funny, when the two of u had ur first time where he was sub he came in under a minute
he was super embarrassed, even tho u found it super hot
blade can be a tease if he wants to be, sending u photos of him naked with his hand wrapped around his aching cock, eyes blown wide with lust<3
he thinks punishments are hot, but prefers to be praised and pampered
call him a good boy, he will MELT
he wants to be good for u so much, he needs u to get himself off its almost pathetic :( he cant cum without u there helping him, whenever hes needy and ur not around he always ends up in a puddle of his own arousal, his release slipping away as soon as it begins to build. his cock is aching, he needs u, he cant even get off alone
after sex is when hes most vulnerable, blade is very kinky and mellow after sex esp when he was sub
big on aftercare, deep down he wants to be taken care of and held
he also loves taking care of u, loves washing u as u bathe together after a rough night of lovemaking
he loves it when u mark his chest cuz he can show it off the next day
blade wants everyone to know ur his, and vice versa
THIS GOT SO LONG WTF???
BARK BARK BARK can u tell i have such a big fat stupid fucking blade bias hes so silly i love this goofy man sm i need to pepper him with kisses and then fuck him senseless 😔
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