#AFTER DOING IT HER WHOLE LIFE BUT IT IS FUNDAMENTALLY PART OF HER. SHE CARES.

[imbuedebauchery]

While I love to see everyone so excited about Isha,

especially where it concerns the potential for Jinx's healing, I'm shocked to see a lack of concern for the child and what she means to the story as a whole.

Arcane has always been about cycles of violence, about how people become doomed by violence to uphold systems of violence. It has always shown us this through children. Arcane is fundamentally built on the trauma of children and how that trauma becomes an inescapable vortex.

Vi would not be Vi if she was not extremely young when her parents died. She would not base her entire sense of self and worth around protecting others - she would not consider herself fundamentally wrong and reprehensible for failing to protect her charge, Powder - if not for the way this identity was cemented into her youth. The Enforcers took everything from her. The whole point of her story is how she negotiates (terribly) with all these moving parts - pieces that were presented to her through the vulnerable and fractured lens of being a literal child.

Same with Jinx. Let's not forget what her trauma looked like. Where Vi was forced to be an adult right from the beginning of her life, Jinx never got to grow up. She was forever trapped by her nightmares and hallucinations, unable to process her emotions like an adult. We know how this ended. (Terribly.)

The sister cities are at war. The sisters are at war. They were subjected to ruthless violence and isolating practices throughout their youth. One of the fundamental scenes from S1, E1 is the baroque-invoking montage of Vi, Mylo and Claggor fighting the other kids while Powder sat and watched, horrified. This could very well have been one of the worst, ugliest displays of close-up violence Powder was subjected to in her youth.

Why is it okay that this happens to Isha?

Maybe "okay" is the wrong word. I'm not accusing people of condoning or celebrating any kind of violence involving children, not by any means.

My question is: why are we cheering so loud for Jinx to be reverse-adopted by this child when their first encounter is after a lethal gunfight? Jinx shows her a ruthless display of unthinking, uncaring violence. She has become the undercity embodied with all her chaos and destructive tendencies. Isha was an evader - she ran from the danger. She was a survivor, not a killer. But the moment she is shown someone who cares about her in the same motion that she shows her how the undercity really works, she associated that care with that violence.

Did Isha know what it meant to put herself in Vi's way? Yes or no both bring their own problems. Yes, she understands death and what it means to kill people, and would participate in that act - would either be killed by Vi, or pull the trigger on her - to keep her new source of care safe. No, she has no idea what she's doing, and is blindly acting on love and attachment alone.

This was the question that would have followed Silco and Powder all throughout Powder's upbringing.

Yes, Jinx will be given opportunities to see herself, to see Powder in Isha, and to try and make things better for Isha and thereby address her own childhood trauma. But it's already off to a horrific start. Jinx is ultimately powerless to change how the undercity works (we'll see if she unites it! But likely won't change it), and cannot afford to show anything other than express and expert violence to those she loves. There was another post that talked about how the three girls, Isha, Jinx, and Sevika, communicate in body language and grunts and don't need words to communicate anything - yes. because their communication is based in beating the shit out of people. This makes them good fighters, not good at fixing issues or approaching trauma. They will simply continue to try and solve their problems and become a family in the only way they are familiar with: through killing others.

Another child is simply being roped into the way of things. Another child is being put at risk. Another child will grow up and show other children that violence is what keeps the world chugging along.

Whether or not Isha dies, something tragic will befall her. Something that will provide her with an irreversible fork in the road. She will either die, and Jinx will see that this is what her system, her city, does to people. That this is what she is permanently cursed to do to people. Or Isha lives, and faces something traumatic. Jinx realizes that this is what happens to children in the undercity, and is hopeless to affect any kind of change.

Or... Isha lives. She suffers the moment of extreme horror that will change her forever, and has no coping mechanisms, but saw enough lost love in Jinx that she is able to piece together a way to continue in this world without resorting to violence. She finds a way to address that trauma without unleashing it back on the world.

I'd like to think, knowing how Fortiche will be more than aware of the themes of childhood in this series, that Isha will live. Introducing a child this late in the game - a universal symbol of hope for the future in any given fiction - presents them with the opportunity to express how things can change. Maybe our wretched adult freaks are doomed, but maybe... maybe there's a chance. Maybe not everything is absolutely hopeless.

If they kill her? There is no shred of hope in the rest of this series. I'm sure of it. Literally nothing good will come out of any other plotline in S2 if Isha dies. She is the canary, and oh boy, we're going down deep into the mine with S2.

Why must a child suffer for Jinx to learn? I think this is the ultimate question that comes out of seeing the excitement for the new trio family. Why do we have to rope a literal child into a murder duet so that Jinx might be able to see her own traumas in a different lens?

There's something about the doom of children to systemic violence that just makes me weepy every time. Rewatching S1 E1 had me in tears almost every minute. Knowing that these kids, these children, were participating in practices that would doom them. Knowing that the adults we see at the end of S1 and where we are in S2 are direct and inevitable products of their youth. Kids that deserved love and safety, and were instead handed war and weapons. And we're watching it again in real time! And cheering about it????

I had to ramble about this because I just haven't seen anything on it - and maybe I'm wrong, maybe it just hasn't crossed my feed, maybe everyone is acutely aware of this as a base-level of knowledge and I just didn't get the memo. But I'll share my thoughts anyway.

[hella1975]

isn't it insane how three of endeavor's kids are heroes. and all three of them don't follow his way of going about it. shoto's a conventional hero but he does it through all might's way. he wants to save people. not climb the ranks. fuyumi teaches children so they can learn what's right and wrong. natsuo studies medical welfare so he can help people onsite without the "pro hero,, label. being so normal abt this btw.

BEING REALLY FUCKING NORMAL ABT THIS

[demigod-shenanigans]

Anyway have some Leo and Esperanza thoughts set in a universe where she’s alive:

-Definitely knew Leo was bi before he told her. This kid is not able to be subtle about his crushes ever 

-She was the first person Leo ever came out to. Just hugged him for ages and kissed his head and told him he’s perfect exactly how he is and she’s always going to love him no matter what 

-They Iris message almost daily when Leo first gets to camp. He’s so excited when he makes his first friend and gets to introduce her to Piper. Leo and Piper met in this universe because they were the oldest out of the kids claimed right after the Titan war and arrived at camp at the same time and they just clicked immediately 

-Let’s say in this universe Gaia doesn’t wake and Leo and Piper just sort of find an injured Jason on a mission by coincidence (make that “coincidence” because someone (Juno) decided it was time to mend the rift between camps and having CHB nurse one of the Camp Jupiter praetors then return him to his own camp unharmed was a good starting point)

-Jason stays at CHB for a while for diplomatic reasons and they properly become friends

-Esperanza definitely side-eyes Jason when he visits them for the first time because at first glance he gives off similar vibes to some of the football player kids who’ve bullied Leo before and she is Concerned but Jason withers so fast under her gaze that she ends up concerned for a completely different reason 

-Jason scrambles to try and tell her all the reasons why he thinks Leo is the most incredible person ever actually and yeah it turns out she really likes this kid (though she’s starting to get increasingly worried about what his home life looks like if some light glaring has him this rattled)

-He loves her cooking (but not as much as Leo’s. He’d never tell her that though)

-She doesn’t push Jason to talk about his home life or family but makes it very clear that he’s free to stay over whenever he wants. Fundamental mom instinct to wrap that boy in a blanket and make him hot cocoa.

-Esperanza is Jason’s first encounter with an adult that’s genuinely kind and caring towards him and he’s really really shocked about it. Like worrying amounts. He needs her to like him or he Will Die actually, especially because that’s Leo’s mom

-Esperanza definitely picks up on the vibes between Jason and Leo before Jason and Leo do. This isn’t even her being especially perceptive they’re just incredibly obvious and also idiots (I say this with affection)

-One summer Leo Iris messages his mom randomly in the middle of the day beaming but will not tell her what’s up. For like fifteen minutes he’s just smiling and fidgeting away talking about a whole bunch of nothing at all until she grins and asks “did you finally ask Jason out�� and Leo just looks at her gobsmacked because he has no idea how she could have possibly figured that one out

-Jason tries to learn Spanish in parts to impress her and he is So Bad At It at first. She thinks it’s really sweet and is very encouraging (unlike Leo who just makes fun of his boyfriend for his shit pronunciation)

[sassasafreeaction]

It’s time to talk about the Laudanum Lesbians, Elspeth and Wee Morag. Right away, it’s pretty obvious that you’re supposed to draw parallels between them and Aziraphale and Crowley. When the viewer first meets Elspeth, we get this gruff girl who threatens the two of them and is established to be doing something “morally wrong”. Life hasn’t been kind to her, and she clearly doesn’t trust people. To really drive it home, she and Crowley are on the exact same page while they’re talking to Aziraphale and wheeling the body to the alley. 

Then we meet Wee Morag, and it becomes apparent that every decision that Elspeth makes is to better their life together. She offers Wee Morag food (which is something our favorite demon is wont to do for his partner) and specifically oversells it as something fancier than it actually is. Wee Morag calls her an angel. It’s meant to be a little tongue and cheek since it’s in the presence of a literal angel, but it also serves as a way to show that while Elspeth may not be a Good person, that she at least cares about the person close to her.

Now for Wee Morag at this moment, we don’t get much from her aside from her obviously being the moral compass out of the two of them. She tells Elspeth that she's going to Hell literally two seconds after referring to her as an angel. The more important part of this interaction I would argue is Aziraphale’s response to Wee Morag. Some part of him recognizes a kindred spirit in her. He takes off his hat in a show of sincerity and says that it was lovely to meet her. This is important for later in the episode.

After they fail to sell the body, all three of them end up back in the alley with Wee Morag. Elspeth is again choosing to not trust Aziraphale despite his change of heart to do what he now knows is actually a good thing. Wee Morag starts off on the fence, worried about those souls that won’t get into Heaven. Elspeth tells her that she promised to help, and through everyone’s various methods of convincing (tempting may even be the better word as there is a demon sitting next to her when she agrees), Wee Morag says that she’ll do it because that’s what friends do. Regardless, she’s now had her change of heart. Although I would say hers is more driven by the same thing that drives Aziraphale to help with the Antichrist. It is fundamentally for her and Elspeth’s benefit, not the Greater Good per say, but she needs that reframing of doing the moral thing of upholding her promises and potentially helping people.

In the graveyard, Elspeth does all of the hardwork and Wee Morag holds the light both to assist how Elspeth sees, but also likely to help her keep watch. She’s filling a guardian role for Elspeth. Later when Elspeth sells her body, she even says “She only wanted to look after me.” Upon seeing the actual body (a priest’s body no less), Wee Morag realizes with horror what they’re doing - the potential moral ramifications stare her in the face. She ends up caught in the crossfire of a gun, and she dies for it.

Originally, I thought that Wee Morag’s death sets Crowley up to worry about what might potentially happen to Aziraphale in the future. In a way, I still think it does. She was the Good character helping the Bad character, and she pays dearly for it. His line “It’s a bit different when it’s someone you know, isn’t it?” while pointed at Aziraphale can be felt by everyone in the room. Elspeth has been dealing with death this whole episode, but her whole life is turned on its head when her ‘pal’ dies. Crowley recognizes that it’s the knowing part that actually causes something to hurt. (It’s one of the reasons why he doesn’t have many human friends. He does have a friend though, and it would absolutely gut him to lose him.)

The episode isn’t over though. We still have to watch someone else pay for stepping over the imaginary boundary of Good and Evil, except rather than it being Aziraphale, it’s Crowley. Like Wee Morag, he steps out of his usual role and helps Elspeth, and for that, he pays dearly. He gets dragged off to Hell to have whatever Demons do instead of a rude note done to him. After everything that’s happened, it’s no wonder why you get that panicked shout of “Crowley” from Aziraphale. They just watched the worst case scenario happen for people like them. 

Also as another quick fun aside, both sets of characters are bound by something that allows them to not be able to carry out their actual dreams and goals. Elspeth and Wee Morag were bound by poverty while Aziraphale and Crowley are bound by their respective Head Offices.

[book--wyrm]

I do love that Eve is like. The ultimate refutation of the way Oz chases his Rex Calabrese fantasy.

Because in a way, Eve really is the perfect recipient of this dynamic. She knows Oz and all his flaws so well—she knows he's a selfish, lying, backstabbing killer, she knows that he's fundamentally kind of an asshole, she knows that he is at minimum about 60% bullshit by volume at any given moment.

But she accepts him and his help, and offers her aid and advice in return, as little as he listens to it. She doesn't judge him, even defending him to Sofia after their breakup (we all got our shit, don't we?). She loves him, in her own way, enough to push back when Sofia derides the idea. She is loyal to him.

I cannot emphasize that last part enough. She is loyal to him. During her meeting with Sofia, Eve was fully, totally, a hundred percent prepared to take his location to her grave. She didn't choose not to go with him to save her own life, she chose not to go because she needed to stay to protect her girls.

And realistically that's really the best case scenario for the Rex fantasy, right? To be seen and known for all your scummy deeds and dark, vicious nature, and yet be loved and respected as a protector all the same? Maybe Eve wouldn't throw a parade for him if he died, but she'd pour one out for him with the girls and remember him fondly. We ate when he ate. He was a nasty sonuvabitch but he was ours.

And then.

Sofia comes. And all she has to do is tell the truth.

And the whole thing comes crumbling down.

Because Oz was never, and could never be the kind of man who deserves that respect and loyalty. Because it's only "we got each other's backs and don't screw each other over" as long as its convenient for him. Because Oz will do anything to have that Rex reputation, including undermining its very foundations.

Oz loved Eve, in his own way. Besides his mom and vic, Eve is the person he cares about the most. But he doesn't respect her. He doesn't value her priorities, only the affection she gives to him. So he screws over her girls, and hides it for a decade, and doesn't think a second about it because ultimately, he doesn't want to protect the people, he wants to be loved as a protector.

And once Eve, the person he has been the most Rex-like with for god knows how long, learns how deep the rot runs? She turns her back on him. Because as much as Oz wants to be loved like Rex, he can't help being anyone but The Penguin.

I also have to say, I absolutely adore that the person who does genuinely come closest to the fantasy Rex that realistically could never exist isn't Sofia—it's Eve herself.

For Oz, I eat you eat means sharing scraps off his plate with the people who fill it. For Eve, it means sharing in their meals. And when needed, sharing in the danger.

I think a worse, less thoughtful show would only really contrast Oz with his major rival, giving her the virtues he lacks and vice versa. And I have seen some reviewers and reactors talk as if like, Sofia sparing Eve earned her Eve's loyalty or something. Like Eve is switching from one mafia boss to another.

Nothing about that scene reads that way to me. Eve doesn't share Oz's location out of loyalty, or gratefulness. She doesn't owe anything to Sofia for not shooting her.

She tells Sofia because she gets it, gets how deeply Oz has fucked Sofia over. She tells her out of kindness, out of empathy, out of understanding.

And that is why she earns the Rex reputation, and Oz only borrows it.

[dekusleftsock]

Don’t y’all love it when a popular tiktok creator is analyzing a character and interpreting it so, so wrong, and him and his dumb ass take is spreading.

Like it was one thing for you to be wrong

ITS ANOTHER THING FOR YOU TO BE WRONG AND MAKING OTHER PEOPLE MORE WRONG

If one more person says that Izuku is “underdeveloped” and that he’s “uninterested in all of his other relationships” and that he “has a power imbalance in his relationships with other characters bc they care more about him than he does them” STOP. PLEASE STOP.

A fundamental part of Izuku’s character: He is an UNRELIABLE NARRATOR. Most of his character is, therefore, told through SUBTEXT.

Izuku doesn’t say that he feels ashamed about his feelings for Katsuki.

But he does say that he thinks they’re gross.

Izuku doesn’t say that he thinks that Toga and her feelings aren’t human

But he does say that she is the “perfect counter to this quirk”.

THE LIST COULD GO ON.

Izuku is an unreliable narrator in a third person omniscient story (though sometimes mha acts more like a third person objective story? Anyway). That means that the way we do not understand the story is not through a retelling of what is happening to you, the viewer, unreliably—instead it is not telling you the full extent of his character and his thoughts.

To say “izuocha’s relationship is underdeveloped because it’s one sided” is NOT the same as saying “bkdk’s relationship is underdeveloped because it’s one sided”.

Izuku has always been obsessed with Katsuki. At some point the rhetoric being passed around was that it was Katsuki who was underdeveloped and uninterested in the dynamic. Now that rhetoric has been reversed since we’ve seen so much of Katsuki’s POV.

Ochako has always been obsessed with Izuku, NEVER THE OTHER WAY AROUND. In fact, Ochako’s arc even surrounded letting go of those feelings… as literally said in the text. Because that is a textual statement that she makes.

Izuku does not understand how or what Ochako loves in anybody, especially him. She loves a unique sense of personhood, which Izuku has always carried, and of which she saw in the entrance exam.

Izuku does not know how to view things he deems as “girly”, and Ochako very personally CANT be in a relationship with someone that she has realized is very repressed. Her friendships turn from friends to fascination very quickly, into her heroic form. (Think her few moments with Katsuki in that extra, or how disinterested she became of Izuku as she saw him run away from help, and not know how to respond to an apology. Or, hell, how much more interested she became when Himiko was honest with her feelings in their second real confrontation. She even says that she “admires how she can love so freely, and say it with her whole chest”)

LIKE ALL OF THESE THINGS. THIS IS WHY IZUOCHA ISNT DEVELOPED. That’s a purposeful choice in genius writing, at least in my opinion.

Bkdk is a result of Izuku being uninterested in acknowledging said feelings, and this is shown to be different because of the amount of times he has had that imply a deeper emotion or thought that we are not told. Think black whip, controlling your heart solely surrounding katsuki, “my feelings are gross”, the ear piercing scream when katsuki was kidnapped and the “this was a total loss” line, relaxing into katsuki’s arms after the apology, only coming home because of Katsuki, comparing romantic feelings toga had for him and admiration to ALLMIGHT and not katsuki who was “actually in his life”, I COULD GO ON FOR HOURS.

This is absolutely NOT underdeveloped, this is called SHOW NOT TELL. Horikoshi is so purposeful in what he shows vs what he tells. He tells you that ochako and toga are the same, he tells you that katsuki is worried about Izuku, he tells you that katsuki is there to step in when deku can’t handle it on his own, he tells you that ochako has a crush on Izuku, and he tells you that Katsuki is Izuku’s “closest person”.

But he also SHOWS YOU SO MUCH MORE. Unreliable narration is such a key part of Izuku and his character. Izuku doesn’t understand Izuku as much as the audience doesn’t understand him. It’s why I genuinely think most interpretations of his character are wrong, because you really can’t take him at his word. It’s the same reason no one understood katsuki for the longest time, he was in the same circumstances of a character who is only showed to you, not told.

I know i named so many god damn references so if anyone is curious as to what specifically I’m talking about with what, I’ll gladly show what scene I’m referring to. Apparently I can’t remember a damn thing but this manga anyway.

[meanderingstream]

So I saw a poll a few days ago about whether your blorbo would survive if the person they loved the most died and they couldn’t save them. And so I was thinking about the leverage OT3, but specifically if both of the other 2 died and they couldn’t save them, how would each of them go on.

I think Hardison would survive. He would obviously be devastated and especially if he was trying to save them from his computer or something while they were in the field and he failed, he would never get over it. However, he has a support network both deep and wide in his nana, his foster siblings, and to some extent his online friends, as well as Breanna, Sophie, Harry, and other people he knows through Leverage. I think the loss of Parker and Eliot together would fundamentally change him, but eventually, he would be able to move on and find happiness and connection with others again both because he has that support network to hold him up and because connecting with people is such a fundamental part of who Hardison is.

I think Parker is a survivor. She has had to be a survivor for her whole life. She is used to surviving even when everything falls apart. I think she would try and use some of the coping mechanisms we see her use in the show of trying to attribute her emotions to other people or to past or future Parker, but those would be woefully insufficient to this devastation. I could see her for a time running away from people and trying to lose herself in jumping off high buildings and stealing things, but it would end in an utter breakdown. She might even regret becoming the person who had opened her heart and changed together with them and tried to do the right thing. She might almost wish she had stayed alone with her emotions locked away to avoid this current pain. Except she couldn’t ever regret knowing them. She would either come back or Sophie would eventually find her, and they would commiserate about losing their person(s). If Parker had failed to save the boys, she might feel a lot of guilt around Breanna, but Breanna would likely feel guilt about why she wasn't there / couldn't save them either. They would eventually talk it out and then be able to support each other. Parker would survive, but she might lose some of her progress in opening up to people. Someone else would almost certainly have to take over Leverage International for a while. I think Parker would make it through and recover, but would never be as open as she managed to get while she was with Hardison and Eliot. 

I think Eliot is the toughest call. On the one hand, he has survived so much that others didn't. From the army, to the PMCs, to working for Moreau and others like him, to (probably the biggest challenge) facing the guilt and shame of who he had become. Eliot got through it all. But now, after swearing to watch over them until his dying day, if he failed to save them, then he would prefer to die with them. Eliot is the most likely of the three to not survive the loss of the other two, but I think it would come down to whether he felt he was still needed. If Sophie, Breanna, Harry, and others that he cares about needed him to protect them, then he might just make it through for them. Eliot, of course, believes he is already damned, and he is not looking for redemption because he doesn't believe it's possible after the things he’s done, but he appreciates the opportunity to be useful. To his mind, he needs to be useful to the people who are redeemed and to doing good in the world, because it’s already too late for him. If losing his partners happened while it was just the 3 of them, I think he would go after those that did it and not intend to survive the process. But if he has the rest of the team, I think he would stay alive to continue protecting them. Especially because of Breanna. If he failed Hardison, he can at least protect his baby sister. Eliot would stay alive for exactly as long as he felt useful, but he would likely never be able to really try retiring from the physical parts of his job and would probably plan on going out swinging when he got too old to be a hitter. Depending on a lot of variables, the rest of the team might eventually be able to convince him that there were other ways to take care of them like cooking and advising and being there for people, but it would be a long shot and, either way, he would never forgive himself for failing to protect Parker and Hardison or for not being the first to go.

[aangelinakii]

JUSTICE LEAGUE LOVE LANGUAGES.

characters written about in this piece : clark kent, diana prince, barry allen, oliver queen, dinah lance

not proofread !

note : i was gonna include hal and arthur curry but i decided it would kindaa be a lot, so i narrowed it down to my favs 😙 if you're looking for bruce, bc he's quite obviously missing, you can find his here with the rest of the batfam :)))

CLARK KENT — acts of service

clark is just a big ol lover boy who wants to make sure his significant other is happy at all times, and he wants to show his adoration by helping them out here and there, and making sure they feel more than loved. he will be more than happy to do something for you if you ask, but he prefers surprising you with little things instead, because part of the reason this is his love language is seeing your reaction. but a fundamental part to being in a relationship with clark, is that these acts also need to be reciprocated. i feel like he may have a slightly lower self esteem than expected, so if he doesn't receive kind acts, then he may become insecure.

ways he likes to show his love : delivering your favourite lunch while you're at work , walking your dog , brewing you a warm cup of your choice in the morning , cleans your shared apartment for when you return from work or a weekend away

ways of showing love that he appreciates : cooking his favourite meals , shoot him a call or text when going grocery shopping to ask if he wants anything , caring for him when he's sick , opening his car door (even though he will tell you not to, but will secretly be loving it the whole time)

DIANA PRINCE — quality time

she came from a community that wasn't explicitly affectionate in a sappy way, so i think she has partly internalised that. that isn't to say that she can never ever be sweet, because of course she can, but i think she's more comfortable having her own space, whilst still being with you. like, i don't think she's big on physical affection. i don't think anything traumatic happened, i think it's just a preference, and partly because she knows she's a killing machine, so she wants to be careful, treat you with fragility. after a long day, she feels as though there is nothing better than to wind down beside her lover.

favourite ways to spend quality time : you tending to her wounds , going for walks or exercising together , museum trips where she tells you the truth about all the ancient artefacts , going on grocery runs together , laying in bed and talking about your days

BARRY ALLEN — physical affection

i think barry is similar to how i described wally in the young justice one, but like more mature. like he is better at understanding boundaries than wally, and certainly more romantic. despite being the flash, barry's a slow guy. he loves slow, lives slow. he doesn't rush romance, or force anything. his touches are soft and deliberate. barry's a sweet guy, and an especially sweet lover. he sees a warm hug as the perfect way to end a long, harsh, dirty day, and to keep his work as the flash separate from his home life.

favourite forms of physical affection : fixing hair or brushing it behind ears , bathing together and washing one another , wrapping his arms around your waist whilst you cook , pressing soft kisses to temples

OLIVER QUEEN — physical affection && words of affirmation

ollie is an all-rounder when it comes to his love languages and ways of showing love; he's great in all aspects. but i'd say his favourite ways of showing his affection would be through both touch, and telling you how he feels about you through words. he's great at reassuring you as he always sounds genuine. never a tinge of sarcasm or condescend. and his touch alone is reassuring. when he holds you, he holds you tight and long – forever, if he could. i think he invests a lot into a relationship, although it may not be inherently obvious. by this i mean, within himself he finds the relationship incredibly important, but doesn't exactly let you know how much he has going for it. he thinks about the future all the time, but doesn't talk about his dreams in fear of scaring you away, so stays silent. are you with me?

favourite forms of physical affection : laying in bed or on the couch, looping an arm around you as you lay on his chest , piggybacks when you're tired , taking your hand while he drives , kissing your knuckles

words he means : " i don't think you realise how much you mean to me. and you really mean so much " , " for you, i would do anything " , " i'm always so in awe of you " , " you're just so amazing "

DINAH LANCE — words of affirmation && acts of service

anybody would be lucky to have dinah as a lover. she's passionate and deliberate, and can read your needs like a book. she's incredibly attentive, and always makes sure your needs are tended to. although i wouldn't say she's incredibly romantic, per se, through her words, they are comforting. like she's not the type to drown you in compliments, but the fact she waits for the right time makes them more meaningful when she does so. but when i say that she's a passionate lover, i truly mean that she takes her love for you in stride, and makes it her drive to live and survive each day.

words she means : " i am here for you " , " i'm so lucky to know you " , " you're my best friend, i hope you know that " , " i can't imagine my life without you "

ways she likes to show love : noticing when you're feeling down, and suggesting a way to cheer you up , brushing, combing, picking your hair, or just playing with it , buys extra of your favourite things to have in the house , not to brag but she would totally kill someone for you, or even build you a palace if you asked

[megolololo]

why shockwave is the most fatherly decepticon (even more so than soundwave):

(aka i’m delusional and smitten)

every character in every medium revolves around a theme. a theme in a novel or a show or a film tends to be an idea that will be explored in both the subtext and text of that medium.

shockwave’s theme, surprise, surprise, is creation and rebirth (in most tf media). his whole character is concerned with the parenting of either himself (as a way of rehabilitating after empurata) or of others (predacons, his little bots in cyberverse, or even his subordinates like tarn)

now, you might ask, what sets shockwave’s fatherliness apart from soundwave’s? how is he any more fatherly than soundwave?

allow me to demonstrate with the following screenshot from guardians of the galaxy:

yup.

shockwave was everyone’s father, but soundwave was everyone’s daddy (no not like that)

still not convinced? allow me to introduce you or remind you of the concept of nature vs. nurture. ironically enough, for someone who is only a father, shockwave is the more nurturing one. soundwave is considered a father because he is a cassette player and his “children” are cassettes

in idw1 soundwave was actually more so adopted by his cassettes rather than the other way around. shockwave, on the other hand, birthed - even if not literally - and raised all the subjects he needed to raise to prepare for either war or for life

in idw1, shockwave was like a father to tarn. post-empurata, he still chose to call tarn the name that defined him the most: “damus.” not “glitch”, not “tarn”, which are all personas and not real identities (glitch = associated with his outlier power, tarn = leader of djd) but “damus.” shockwave knows the real tarn because he was there to raise him.

(extra note: to really drill in the fact that shockwave was fatherly to tarn, shockwave thinks “damus” is tarn’s real name while megatron, right before killing him, implies that “glitch” is. megatron is a military leader; he will favor the identity that holds the most militant potential. shockwave cared for tarn; he will favor the boy he knew when he was still in the academy)

we can even still see the effects of pre-empurata shockwave on tarn, who takes great pleasure in the arts and everything conceptually and fundamentally beautiful like poetry or literature or music. and guess who wanted to be remembered for “both his brains and his beauty”?

in cyberverse, he was actually kinda like a father to shadowstriker. he took her in after she was severely injured and placed her in his unit as a form as rehab, if you will (she wouldn’t have been able to go to more militant and armed units in such a condition). though he was less there to nurture shadowstriker, as she was already a developed adult, he was there to protect her. iirc, in a scene where they get frozen by this immobilizer, shockwave pushes her behind him.

it’s the same in tfp, where shockwave, near the end of the series, shoves ratchet behind him during the spacebridge battle and fires at other autobots. the enemy is LITERALLY next to him and yet he chooses to protect ratchet from stray bullets. and to address the predacon elephant in the room, he literally raised predacons. he petted them and comforted them and gave them sustenance to live and thrive.

shockwave is cold, rational, and is obsessed with logic, yes, but he assumes this logic from what he has observed and what he has experienced before, whether that before be pre-empurata or before the war.

could he have had a fatherly and caring figure before the war? possibly. could he have picked it up from how animals assume this role automatically, as if it was biologically and universally a logical thing to do? possibly. but have we ever considered that… it’s just part of his personality?

BuT but shoCkwAve dOesnT have EmoTions

if he didn’t have emotions and therefore no personality, he’d never feel compelled to lie or have any will to do anything. he is driven. a computer is not. a computer is told to do something and will output the most logical output based on its coding. he’s self-driven and autonomous with his decisions.

so, to sum it up, shockwave is nurturing, but because he is often overruled by the need to follow a strict diet of reason and self-motivated curiosity for knowledge, this part of him is always overshadowed. he’s not a good man. he will frankly never be. but he can be a good father if he only let himself be. thank you for coming to my ted talk

[sundaechaos]

sydcarmy fics recs (i love-love this)

hi! hello! so, i was thinking that i read most of the fics on the tag of sydcarmy on ao3 and i need to share my favorites ones (and bc i keep forgetting to add to bookmark, so maybe is better here)

(not specific order, i just love to read and everything in the sydcarmy tag is perfect; if you know the tumblres or twitter dm me I'll put here)

pink for the au's

purple for the canon-divergence

orange for multiworks

quick note: most of this are the very first fics i read when the hiperfixation with sydcarmy entered to my life, enjoy!!!!!!!!!

You Were Bigger Than The Whole Sky by @sofaroffbway

A conversation with her father forces Sydney to confess the only thing she is still hiding from Carmy. He needs to know. They are getting married after all. | #finish

Hands Full of Plates by @Thesuncameout

The first year of The Bear, through the eyes of its Chef de Cuisine and Executive Chef. | #finish

Normal People by @cryobabyy

What is he to her anyway? He feels like her boss when he tells her what to do. When he doesn’t break eye contact as he asks for her input on the new menu, he feels like a business partner. When his hand ghosts against her lower back and his thumb slips under her sweatshirt, it’s an accident. He was just trying to get by; just a polite nudge, right? (Little blurbs of Carmy and Syd falling in love and being idiots about it) | #ongoing(please, come back)

Oyster Knife by @purposechef

Sydney Adamu seeks answers. / note: and every fic written by purposechef, but this have a special place in my heart, is everything that i love of sydney and carmy. | #finish

Take Care by @purposechef

Ingredients: - 1 culinary school dropout - 1 recently fired CDC - 48 hours in New York City

Steps: 1. Have a panic attack; drop out of culinary school. 2. Accidentally become the head food critic of the New York Times. 3. Write a review that gets the CDC of Eleven Madison Park fired. 4. Let sit until you have an emotionally unwieldy mess. | #finish

The Wild, Wild Berry by @Blissymbolics

The elderberries were undercooked, rendering them toxic. She finds Carmen helpless on the bathroom floor. Her fingertips tingle with the desire to comb his sweat-drenched hair. It’s embarrassing; it’s beneath her. But still, there’s something sweet in his weakness. He trusts her to keep the world running in his absence, and feed him when his appetite returns. | #finish

Fundamentals for the Fun and Mental by @bioloyg

It's been weeks since Carmen Berzatto found himself locked in the walk-in on the opening night of The Bear, but if you asked him, he'd tell you it felt like it happened yesterday. If you asked anyone else... well, they'd tell you these past few weeks have felt like a lifetime. Which is exactly why Sydney and Natalie decide to send Carmen on vacation. | #finish

The Million Little Things by @peachybunnybabie

The relationship of Carmen and Sydney. | #multiworks

Don't leave me now, you might love me back by @adogwithabirdatyour_door

for you i am a child, believing: It’s been a while since something like this happened.

snow is outside but i'm by your fire (i feel all the love you bring): they're always staring.

faithful friends who are dear to us (will be near to us once more): Or, the first time Sydney really felt like part of the family.

it's a lot to ask of me (to believe in you): In the midst of an early-relationship fight, Carmy gets sick. Sydney has a lot to think about.

kill the doubt that strangles my self worth (paint the picture that i swore i heard): Hosting a dinner party stirs up old memories for Carmy

you change all the lead, sleeping in my head: The question slips out without her permission, spoken with the same candor she’d used to ask him if he wanted a dog.

you say you wanna stand by my side (darlin' your head's not right): Sydney is a supporting gf.

To be continued...(like Storer playing with me at the final of s3)

[rita-repulsa-ke]

Rio stays

Here is what Agatha knows about Rio.

Rio is Capital-O Obsessed with her, bad stalker obsessed, the kind of terrible ex that shows up for every major life event with roses and a shit-eating grin. And yes, when they were together, she did like that intensity, the way the other woman looked at her with near-obsessive adoration and promised her at every opportunity that she would never, ever leave. Agatha was used to people leaving, so it had been nice to imagine someone would stay.

Now she’s got a fundamental part of the natural order that follows her from place to place, teasing, tormenting or, worst of all, flirting, which has radically altered her viewpoint on heathy intensity in relationships.

Until she gets the Darkhold and then even Death can’t touch her, though she still shows up now and then, vamps around and makes edgy promises about what she’ll do someday, when Agatha can feel pain again. The whole thing generally ends in a fight between two unkillable entities, until they both get tired of it and sulk off to lick their wounds.

Sometimes Rio doesn’t show up for long enough that Agatha assumes she’s moved on, but then she’s back again, and of course Agatha hates her, despises for everything she’s taken from her, never wants to see her face again, but time makes even hatred familiar and routine. They trade quips, bait and tease, inflict emotional violence as only people with centuries of history can.

Every once in a while, they just talk.

Exactly once, they fall back into bed together, but the less said about that, the better.

And of course, the person who finds and frees her from Wanda’s spell would be Rio, still desperate for her after all these years. It’s pitiful, how badly she wants Agatha. Of course, it’s unlikely anyone else was coming, but who cares about that? She would have broken free on her own eventually.

Sometimes she thinks about what it would have been like, if she hadn’t broken free.

Still, it isn’t as though she can ever forgive Rio. It’s not as though she ever wants to see her or, now that she’s unprotected and vulnerable, that she isn’t terrified of Death. She doesn’t love her or even like her very much.

It’s simply that Agatha is used to people leaving, but Rio stays.

Companion piece to the thief

[lemonhemlock]

I want to discuss why Criston having sex with Alicent is different.

Sex with Rhaenyra was about her sexual pleasure. It was about scratching that itch, which Criston is not for. He has a different view of sex. The act with Alicent has passion behind it. It's about two lost souls uniting and finding comfort in each other. So no he's not a hypocrite for not wanting to have sex with Rhaenyra. There's a deep emotional bond of devotion between the two.

He's allowed to feel used by Rhaenyra but be all Take Me to Church with Alicent and her WAP.

I won't touch on other points of why they aren't hypocrites for doing the devil's tango, as there are a variety of posts that articulate that but I have yet to see someone bring this up.(if they have good for them, great minds and all). Targaryen dick riders have a fucked up way of discussing SA and consent. That's all I'm saying that. (disclaimer this is not aimed at those who enjoy the Targs for being a fucked up dynasty and find them fascinating but those who think they are gods cause there's a difference.).

Welcome back, coffee queen! ☕Hope you're enjoying the new season 🫶

Love this take and your lexical choices crack me up!! I think that, at one point, Criston was a bit of a playboy, as he does explain with his own mouth that he's had dalliances in the past, but most of my thoughts on that I've put into this post here (so as to not repeat myself). Also this addition here. But, I agree that, fundamentally, Criston has had years to develop his feelings for Alicent, whereas, during his affair with Rhaenyra, he was a young man in awe of a pretty fairy tale princess. So it would make sense why his connection to Alicent would be deeper and more meaningful by now.

Also! People are allowed to "break up" and then get with someone else!

Haters forget that he can be legitimately upset at Rhaenyra not just because she unknowingly placed his life in danger, but also because she was so callous about it. She was proposing that they have occasional hook-ups, whereas he was ready to be very serious about her. So there was this disproportionate emotional involvement in their affair where Criston was risking a whole lot for someone who didn't really care for him, while Rhaenyra wanted casual sex and risked a slap on the wrist for it.

In any case, they quarreled and parted ways. Honestly, the reason doesn't even matter as much - who hasn't broken up with a bf/gf at some point over some dumbass reason, left and never looked back?* Are they supposed to hold a candle over that past relationship forever (regardless of how "legitimate" the grievances were)? The Dance of the Dragons didn't happen because of anything Criston did to Rhaenyra in revenge, she made a lot of bad political decisions herself to compound on the succession crisis engineered by her father. He is allowed to cross over to Alicent and "support" her side if he wants to; it's not the reason Rhaenyra got into trouble.

Not to mention that, after his mental breakdown and freaking suicide attempt, he's had years to contemplate the question of what being a knight and breaking one's vows means and what he boundaries he would be comfortable crossing. The Criston who's that's that me espresso with Alicent isn't the same Criston who slept with Rhaenyra and had a crisis of faith in the aftermath. He knows what he's getting into and he actively chooses to do so, isn't just put randomly in a situation from which he can't extricate himself.

*EDIT: Not that Criston's reason was dumbass, but even if it were, he's not beholden to being sexually available to Rhaenyra forever just because they fucked one time. (I feel like you have to include disclaimers for every gosh darned thing on this website). And the fact that Rhaenyra stans don't understand the concept of consent and how much it colours one's experience is just.... 🤦‍♀️

[feral-lore-creature]

ALIEN is a fundamentally matriarchal story

I'm aware that fanboys can be fucking annoying, and that's part of the reason why I was hesitant to get into Alien in the first place. (I also blame Reddit-) But after watching the movies, reading the comics, etc. Alien has become a lot more to me.

@oyaapeach I think you might enjoy this one. :3

The first two movies (Alien and Aliens) are the most obvious. Woman fights off a terrifying organism as the rest of her crew dies around her. The second has said woman go through more trauma with multiple different organisms (of the same species) while she takes care of an equally traumatized child after they had both lost somebody they loved. And Ripley kicks ass the whole time, to boot.

Sadly, Alien 3 doesn't have as strong of a presence as the rest of them do. That also happens to be a movie that focuses less on those narratives. I, personally, don't think that's a coincidence.

Alien: Resurrection is also very obvious. For god's sake, she's the progenitor to the Queen of a cloned variant of the Xenomorph.

Even the XX121 is inherently matriarchal. The Queen herself creates life by destroying it, guiding her underlings as needed. There is no male in the species, and there doesn't need to be. I honestly hope there never is. (I know an Alien King has been rarely involved, seen in an Alien 3 script, kid's toys, and exists as an artificially engineered XX121 variant in one of the comics, but I don't think those count.)

This is where Prometheus and Covenant miss the mark, however. I like both of those movies, and while some criticisms are valid, I feel like people kinda miss the point as to why these two feel so... drab. While, yes, these two movies end in far more tragedy than most of them (Covenant especially-) they're really missing that energy the rest of them had. Prometheus was going in such an interesting direction. I thought the violent cycles of creating life (accidentally or not-) and then hating your creations (and/or your creations hating you) was a very interesting route.

The worst part is that they killed off Elizabeth Shaw in Covenant, which is my main gripe with that movie. She was an interesting, resilient, and curious character I would have loved to see more of.

I think we need to get back to the core of what the story is about. I'm excited for Romulus! I can't wait for it! I almost can't believe it comes out next month. Time really flies.

[prosebushpatch]

Okay so I recently, finally, watched Wish and I have some thoughts. Overall, not as bad as everyone makes it out to be, but still has a lot of fundamental story problems and I've got to get them off of my chest. I'll mostly be focused on Magnifico because I think his motivations and arc largely represent the problem with the overall theme.

Okay so my biggest problem with Magnifico is his motivation. His tragic backstory. How on earth does he go from losing his whole family to thinking, the only way he can prevent that from happening again is to grant wishes? The logic doesn't track. It almost makes sense in his creating a kingdom where he protects everyone and "doesn't even charge rent," but it does not make sense with his wish granting. Having a great need to be control to make sure he doesn't lose anyone ever again can be a compelling motivation for a villain, where we see lines crossed that don't justify the intent, but in the movie, he's too self-absorbed to seem to have any actual care for the people of Rosas.

I think if the motivation was changed to something like Magnifico had once been a bright-eyed, enthusiastic wish granter who blindly believed all wishes were good but learned the hard way that that wasn't true could have been a better fit for the overall goal of the movie. Imagine that he granted a wish for a wicked person who used that wish to hurt others, or if Magnifico granted a wish but that wish ended up ruining the person's life because what they wanted wasn't what they needed (i.e. Remember The Princess and the Frog? Dig a little deeper) and that person could have went after Magnifico and blamed him for their troubles (harkening back to We Don't Talk about Bruno). This would be an understandable tragic backstory for Magnifico, and better explain why he's so careful about the wishes he grants. And, perhaps the reason he keeps the wishes he doesn't want to grant is to keep the people in his kingdom docile. No one will be angry with him for not granting their wishes if he makes them forget them and lose that drive and motivation, which makes more sense than the unexplained hording them like he does in the movie? Why does he keep them in the movie other than admiring the wishes? It doesn't make sense to me.

This would give Asha more of a reason to oppose him, if it's shown how his desire to not get hurt or to inadvertently cause hurt turned into a paranoia where he drains people of wishes to fly or play music that inspires others. And, as a side note, we need to see more of how Rosas is a kingdom of people who lack drive and motivation, where only those younger than 18 have that special part of them that inspires them to chase after a dream (something that Astor Rhymemaster touched on). Because that's the point of wishes, right? That's the point of the entire Disney canon. A dream is a wish your heart makes. That star can only get you so far, it takes hard work and determination. It's wanting something better in life, it's dreaming of leaving behind all you know to chase after a tangible light. It's finding a new dream, it's finding a new wish as you grow and learn about yourself and the world.

I don't think the movie Wish understood what makes wishes so important in Disney stories. You know what wishes do? They ignite change. It's not about getting what you want, it's about finding the courage to chase after something better. Ariel wants to be where the people are, but really she wants to be somewhere where others are willing to understand her and in the end, she finds that and makes amends with her father, who finally is willing to see her for who she is. Rapunzel wants to see the lights, and that desire pushes her to leave a tower she's been trapped in her whole life, learning that the world is not as cruel and cold as her abusive mother told her. Cinderella wants to go to the ball, to dance with people who treat her as a person and not a servant of cinders and ash. That wish is granted by a fairy godmother and gives her a hope that is worth fighting for, a hope that helps her reclaim what is rightfully hers; a glass slipper that fits only her and the love that comes with it.

Wishes inspire change. The movie should have been about that. Magnifico could have been right, that some wishes inspire negative change that can drag down multiple people. The kingdom of Rosas could have been so placid because change is scary. Maybe Magnifico could have convinced people, after taking their wish, that it wasn't worth it. Maybe the wish ceremonies could have changed so it wasn't portrayed as some sort of lottery everyone looks forward to, but Magnifico would grant wishes on the spot if he decided they were good and worthwhile, and he would lock away the wishes that would cause trouble and tribulations. 18 year olds could be enthusiastic to give him their wishes, thinking they were surely good and worth granting, only to forget their wish and be told that their wish would have only brought about their unhappiness, this would have justified a more solemn tone in the kingdom, setting up a world where people are mostly downtrodden, thinking their wishes are bad and pointless and they're better off without them. Imagine Cinderella or Rapunzel being told their wishes weren't good, reinforcing all the things their abusive families tell them, taking away that hope and courage to find something better for themselves.

Here's where the true conflict could come in. Asha could be onto this from the beginning, and her opening song could have been about this concern that the people who didn't get their wishes granted aren't willing to try at all. (Because, after all, why doesn't Sabino play music at all? Having that taken from him would take so much joy and creative expression from his life!) But why does Asha know something is amiss?

Simon.

Imagine that Magnifico has a strict rule not to ever share your wish with another person because then it wouldn't come true. It makes sense with our own superstitions, and then makes it so that no one knows anyone else's wishes. Maybe your best friend changes so drastically after giving up their wish, but you believe, like everyone else, that their wish would have only caused suffering. What can you do about it? Well what if Simon told Asha about his wish? What if Asha knew his wish wasn't dangerous and couldn't imagine a way that it could go wrong? That would give her a reason to doubt Magnifico and put more emphasis on how Simon has lost his drive like all the other adults in the kingdom. And it can also emphasize in the end that sharing your wishes and dreams with others can be a powerful thing. Just the act of sharing your dreams can inspire others to go after their own, and they can give you the encouragement to chase your wish too. Wishes inspire change, love gives you the courage to make it happen.

Imagine if the star boy used to be a human, who wished to help others and lost his humanity to do it. Imagine his wish confirms Magnifico's belief, that wishes cause suffering because star boy lost his tether to earth and is separated from the people he loves. Imagine how he foils Asha who also wants to grant everyone's wishes. Imagine him ensuring she doesn't make the same mistake he did while she gives him a reason to change again, to anchor himself to humanity again because he loves her enough not to leave for forever.

Imagine the movie confirming that, yes, change is scary. Chasing your dreams won't always make things better. You might fail more than you succeed and some wishes cannot coincide with each other, leading to grief and strife. But some wishes are worth it. Sometimes, chasing after something better and failing is worth leaving a worse situation. Sometimes taking that chance is worth it, and, like in all fairy tales, if you are kind and generous and act with love, that will make all the difference in the end.

Also, I know everyone wished for a Magnifico and Amaya evil power couple, but imagine if Magnifico was truly in love with Amaya, as he is in the movie, but that love is eventually his undoing. Like Amaya leaps in front of Asha, and Magnifico stops or redirects his attack because she's the one thing he loves more than himself and that is the weakness that Asha and co can take advantage of. Imagine Amaya keeping Magnifico in the mirror and he gets to dote on her from his imprisonment for forever. I'm just saying. At least 30 sickos like me would be into that. Imagine the depth it would give to the themes of love and change and wishing and how acts of love make all the difference.

Alright, I'll get off my soap box. I just really wish Wish could have been stronger because these fairy tales Disney is famous for matter. They really do. But the movie feels too stale and shallow and too much of a cash grab that knows the outline of a disney musical, but is unable to understand the heart of why they work.

[inhonoredglory]

i dont know if you partake in any of the doctor who comics at all - i certainly dont. i like keeping my sanity safe (its a mess of strange stories and paradoxes from what ive been able to tell. as are most comic series). but recently there was one that elaborated a bit on rose and the metacrisis’s life post journeys end, and its one of the few pieces of media we have for them. i didnt care enough to read the whole thing, the only interesting part to me was apparently they had a little girl named mia, and ive been thinking abt that dynamic nonstop since. cant decide how realistic it is for them, but on the otherside augh its so sweet. anyway, i just wanted to ask how you feel about rose and the metacrisis in general, and whatever that entails. curious abt ur thoughts on them!

- armin anon/lesbian anon/whatever you feel like calling me lol

OMGG my anon (of many names lol)! OK first off, I drafted some of this way back but forgot to add on and post, so in the words of our beloved Doctor,

🌹 But onto the DW comics and Meta-Crisis/Rose!!

I only recently started reading the comics, starting with the ones about Gabby Gonzalez by Nick Abadzis, and I have to admit:

They make me yearn pretty fucking hard to run away and travel with the Doctor. There's some killer art by Elena Casagrande that feels so much like the Doctor we know and love (that kindness, that earnest love.... god!! my heart and soul!!).

But I warn ye (any readers of this post), DO NOT TOUCH Volume 2 by Robbie Morrison. He takes Ten blatantly out of character, making him out to be an arrogant bastard who belittles his companion and is flippant in the face of suffering. (Morrison watched too much Eleven, methinks 🙈)

I haven't read the Rose/Meta-Crisis comic yet (part of the Empire of the Wolf series), but I did see the important panel from that series, showing Rose's daughter Mia:

I think the Meta-Crisis settling down to have a family with Rose is pretty in-character and very much what the Tenth Doctor would have wanted, as much as it hurt him.

Because Ten fundamentally felt unworthy of Rose.

💔 The Doctor's Trauma

Rose was strong and compassionate and amazing, and Ten had done so much, seen so much, experienced so much tragedy and guilt. He's a man wrecked by PTSD, depression, shame, and self-blame. He felt like it wasn't fair to her that she'd sacrifice her life to someone who would go on living and changing and becoming a different person, while she grew old and died in a world without a home and away from everyone she knew.

He didn't want her to become like him, homeless and without the love of friends and family, because to be him is to be alone. And he didn't want that for her. Because he wanted her to be happy, not just momentarily, but for the rest of her life.

Ten is a man who loathes taking life, and it weighs on him every time someone sacrifices who they are because they love him.

It's no surprise Ten's entire decision about the Meta-Crisis took place after Davros massively guilt-tripped him into thinking it was his fault that all those people died. (It wasn't.) But Davros played on Ten's depression and trauma, manipulating Ten into thinking he had done unforgivable things to the people he loved. (when in fact those people died because they were inspired to be selfless like him, or were killed someplace beyond the Doctor's reach)

I've actually been doing a lot of research on Ten's trauma (including invaluable insight from Judith Lewis Herman's famous book Trauma and Recovery). This journal article about Major Depressive Disorder speaks so deeply to Ten's character, especially post-Time War and post-Davros:

"Guilt promotes altruistic behavior via acting out reparative tendencies, whereas shame reduces altruism by means of increasing social and interpersonal distance."

This explains so much about Ten's choice to sacrifice his own happiness and ask Rose to take his Meta-Crisis as her life partner. He's pushing her away, isolating himself. He's rejecting the people he loves the most because he's in a very, very dark place.

🖤🤍💜 An Asexual (Meta) Reading

There's so many reasons that Ten felt he couldn't give Rose the life she wanted (his trauma, his values). There's one angle I've been sifting around in my head in the past couple years, and it's more of a headcanon than anything: For me, because of the way the Doctor's character has been established since 1963, the Doctor's own asexuality is an almost meta-conceptual reason why the Doctor in general can't have a "normative," family life.

He couldn't say "I love you"—not because he didn't love her. (He loved her more than he ever loved himself.) But also because he knew what saying those words would mean: the expectations, the responsibility, the behaviors he felt she deserved to have from him because those words carry so much weight in human culture. All those things he could not give her.

But the Meta-Crisis could. I personally headcanon that the Meta-Crisis is not asexual like the Doctor. (Just like John Smith may not have been asexual either.) The point of both John Smith and the Meta-Crisis is showing how much they differ from the Doctor—and I think sexuality is one of those differences. It's why it was so easy for John Smith to imagine a traditional life, why it was so easy for the Meta-Crisis to promise his entire world and his entire self to Rose on that beach.

🌹 The Meta-Crisis and Rose Tyler

Which brings me back to the Tentoo himself. He was born in battle and he can die, but what does that exactly mean for his life with Rose? It's fascinating because to imagine the Doctor feeling mortality and knowing he cannot cheat death anymore—that's a horrific, terrifying thing.

There are actually two Big Finish Audios that explore this traumatic realization for the Doctor, and what that does to him. (They're both one-shots from Jackie's POV and narration, and you can listen to them here: Part 1, Part 2).

It makes Tentoo lean into his Ninth-era darkness, a ruthlessness to villains driven by the fear that he cannot protect Rose because he is not indestructible. But luckily for him, there are people he loves around him (Jackie and Rose) who keep him from that darkness.

Additionally, the Big Finish stories lean into the fact that Tentoo and Rose aren't sitting idly by. Both of them work for Torchwood and are growing their own TARDIS to continue to defend the Earth.

They don't settle down into a domestic life, at least not right away, and I think that suits them both. We know how much Rose didn't want the life of eating chips and watching telly. But listen to what RTD's Doctor Who has always tried to say: How deeply important the everyday things are, how much the Doctor, for how amazing they are, craves for a life of simplicity and the stupid little things that define humanity.

Because here's the key: It wasn't the everyday things that bothered Rose. Like she told Mickey in "Parting of the Ways":

ROSE: But what do I do every day, mum? What do I do? Get up, catch the bus, go to work, come back home, eat chips and go to bed? Is that it? MICKEY: It's what the rest of us do. ROSE: But I can't! MICKEY: Why, because you're better than us? ROSE: No, I didn't mean that. But it was. It was a better life. And I don't mean all the travelling and seeing aliens and spaceships and things. That don't matter. The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life. You know he showed you too. That you don't just give up. You don't just let things happen. You make a stand. You say no. You have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away

Rose didn't hate the domestic, everyday life. She hated how life had no meaning.

She hated how people let things happen to them, without challenging anything or standing up for anything. She didn't want to travel as much as she wanted to live, to be something and do something with her life.

And that's the magic of Doctor Who, particularly RTD's era. Because you can be amazing and you can have meaning even without the Doctor, but the Doctor shows you how.

You stand up for what you believe is right and you choose to give meaning to what you do in life. You don't need to travel the stars to do that. You can make choices that give your life meaning right here and now. You can believe in something. You can find meaning in your place in the universe. You can give your enthusiasm and time to something that is important. Meaning and purpose comes from how we see the world, and that change in perspective is what Rose finds with the Doctor.

If Rose is with someone who can fill her life with meaning, who inspires her to see life as a beautiful adventure, then it really doesn't matter what she's doing with them. In The Impossible Planet, Rose was completely willing to settle down with Ten to "find a planet, get a job, live a life, same as the rest of the universe." Why? Because she'd be with him.

ROSE: This lot said they'd give us a lift. DOCTOR: And then what? ROSE: I don't know. Find a planet, get a job, live a life, same as the rest of the universe.

If I imagine Tentoo as a dad, I can't help but imagine him like Tennant himself. Kind, giving, selfless, and loving. I think Tentoo would be so afraid of letting someone hurt his child, because he hasn't had a family in so long, and he isn't the same man he was in those ancient days when, as a completely different man, he had a family.

He's a man still afraid of himself, still keenly aware of the inhuman things he's capable of. I think this fear would drive Rose and him closer together, like it did when he was Nine. But Tentoo is more self-aware now, more willing to grow and change and be different. Because he's the Doctor who was given a second chance, to live the life he thought he'd never have with the person he loves. He wants to be different to make this work.

I also think Tentoo would be the Doctor who passes on his title after he's gone. Not that I like to think about Tentoo dying one day, but let's be real: Where would his TARDIS go? As a half-human, I think Tentoo could imagine Mia taking on the role of Defender of the Earth when he and Rose have passed on. She would have been there to see it grow, and she would have been there when Tentoo and Rose first stepped out into the stars with this brand-new TARDIS. Because of his mortality, I think it would make Tentoo more open to sharing the secret, sacred things of his Gallifreyan people with the family he chose to start. He's not alone anymore, he has someone to share it with, someone who will pass it on after him and keep the world safe in his stead.

Which is all to say, I think it's a gift that Rose has the Meta-Crisis. Because when Ten regenerated and became, as he said, a completely different man, she was able to stay with the person she fell in love with and explore what that life was like, to have him with her for all of her life, and all of his.

[coraniaid]

Buffy for the character asks?

General opinion/how much I care about them:  What can I say about Buffy Summers? When she was fifteen years old a representative of an ancient mystical order told her that she alone had the power to stop bad things from happening in the world, thereby confirming something she had hitherto only strongly suspected.  She had to keep a fundamental part of her life secret from the world for years but she never learned how to tell a convincing lie because she was too busy thinking up puns.  She had a 95th percentile SAT score despite mostly studying in between fighting vampires in a cemetery every night and cutting classes to sneak out of school and fight yet more vampires during the day.   All her favorite teachers died or never noticed she existed.  She is both a quintessential only child and somebody who would fight a god to save her annoying little sister.  She blackmailed the management of a fast food chain so that they would let her keep doing a minimum wage job she hated with co-workers whose last names she can’t remember.  She burned down her old high school gym and blamed it on mice and blew up her new high school library while she was at her graduation ceremony and she sunk her hometown into a giant hole in the desert and drove away in a school bus.  She died twice before she turned twenty-one.  She is one of my favorite fictional characters in any medium.

A ship I love: I didn’t really talk about why I love Fuffy in my Faith answer, so let me try now.

Of all of Buffy’s shadow selves, Faith is the one who spends the most time actually in her shadow.  She doesn’t get later character development that takes her in a different direction and makes her her own person; she didn’t start out as something else entirely and get reworked later when the plot required it.  She doesn’t even get the illusion of a family and moments of happiness, like Drusilla has in Season 2.  When Faith’s not hanging out with Buffy she’s sitting alone in her motel room or lying in a coma or counting down the months in jail.  She exists to be a version of Buffy who is not Buffy, who is worse than Buffy, who doesn’t have friends or family or any external support.  That’s really all she is.  And she knows it.  And she hates it.  How could she not?  “You get the Watcher, you get the Mom, you get the little Scooby gang … what do I get?”

Because Faith is Buffy – the part of Buffy who never came back after she ran away from home and got kicked out of school; the part who can admit to craving a little more than low-fat yogurt after a night patrolling; the part that never got to make friends with Xander and Willow in Season 1 and never had a Watcher who cared about her –  so on a fundamental level Fuffy is about Buffy accepting those suppressed and hidden angry parts of herself.  But it’s also about Faith accepting the forgotten and ignored parts of herself that are present in Buffy: the idea that she can be a hero, that there are people in the world who care about her, that there are people who she can trust.  It’s about asking what if all of the Season 3 subtext – Faith’s whole arc this season paralleling Angel’s a year ago, and “what are friends for?” and “It’s kind of a Slayer thing”, and Joyce marching in the Slayer Pride Parade – was text, and what if the show existed in a world where the characters could act on it?

And because of how Season 3 turns out, it’s also about Buffy and Faith forgiving themselves, and each other, for doing almost unforgivable things to each other.  Because there were never meant to be two of them, and they’ve never been able to tell each other what they mean, and because “kill me, you become me”, but she tried and it didn’t help.  And it’s about crappy presents and knives to the throat and forehead kisses and shared dreams and hopelessly entangled destinies.  It’s ”She could be terrified.  Maybe [...] she’s sorry and she’s alone” and “You think you matter, you think you’re a part of something, and then you get dumped” and “All my life there was one person who tried to be my friend” and “I tried so hard to help you and you spat on me” and “Willow said you needed me.  Didn’t really give it much thought.”

As much as I wish Faith was in Season 7 more, part of me is glad that this is all we got, because I really don’t think the show could ever have done all this justice. And the little we get is enough to make me a bit crazy.

A non-romantic relationship that I love: I already talked about Buffy and Willow, so I will try to subvert expectations a little here and go with Buffy and Giles.  Not the fandom version of their relationship I like to complain about where Giles is an uncomplicated Good Dad, but the messy and complicated and heartbreaking version where he just won’t allow himself to be that person.  

I mean, I think it’s very clear from the show that Giles really does care about Buffy far beyond the extent he is supposed to as a Watcher (he tries to go and fight the Master in her place! Even though he knows it would kill him!  Even though this is Season 1 of the show and we’ve not yet seen Giles fight a single vampire!) but that everything about his training and his past tells him that he shouldn’t.  Buffy cares about Giles a lot (“You can’t leave me, I can’t do this alone” / “it’s a little like having Mom back”) and it’s clear that she would really like Giles to be more involved in her life (she wants her Mom to invite him around for Christmas, she goes to his house for Thanksgiving, she tries so hard not to show how hurt she is when she confuses his attempts to be dispassionate with genuine disinterest) but Giles is convinced that he cannot be that sort of parental figure for Buffy and it would only hurt her if he tried, and so – by purposely distancing himself from her and not letting her get close to him– he ends up hurting her in exactly the way he fears.

And the tragedy is that I think Giles really does believe the line he keeps feeding Buffy about how important it is not to be “distracted” by “personal concerns”.  When Quentin Travers told him he had “a father’s love” for Buffy, Travers meant it as a rebuke – and that’s exactly how Giles takes it.  He thinks getting closer to Buffy would be bad for her!  He thinks by leaving her in Season 6 he is helping her become self-reliant and a better Slayer!  Of course he is wrong, but that’s what he thinks, and it is consistent with how he’s always thought.  It’s not character assassination or some unjust subversion of his previously established personality: it is a natural and predictable and awful thing for him to do.  And he does it because he cares about her and doesn’t know what to do about that!  He thinks she’s a much better person than he is (“she’s a hero, you see.  She’s not like us”) and he doesn’t want to bring her down to his level!  “If you care so much about [these people], why didn’t you leave town?” Ethan asked him in The Dark Age, and Giles didn’t have an answer!

The NOTP: Going to cheat a bit here (honestly, mostly because it feels a bit mean to keep picking on Xander at this point), and say that the ship I don’t like isn’t with a specific person but rather with an idea that I see applied to all sorts of ships.  Namely the idea – not supported at all by the text – that Buffy’s various romantic interests are Good People who teach Buffy important life lessons and make her a better person or protect her from the dangerous world around her.  I mean, sorry, but this is not how it works! This is a boring fantasy you have projected onto the show in place of what it was actually telling you.  The feminism of BtVS is paper-thin, but give it some credit!

In canon, Buffy absolutely does not learn from her boyfriends.  She does not rely on them for emotional support.  They all cause her more problems than they help her.  She rescues them.  She makes them better.  Honestly her boyfriends all kind of suck.  Because that’s her type!  She likes losers with no friends who are kind of obsessed about Buffy Summers! (Losers just like Faith!)

Buffy textually hates it when Angel talks down to her: we see repeatedly how furious she gets when he treats her “like a kid” or makes important decisions about their relationship on her behalf.  She doesn't mind physically upstaging Riley (“I was holding back a little”) and secretly likes it when he gets hurt because, to quote Dawn, “she says you look even cuter when you’re all weak and kitteny”. The iconic twin shots of Spike and Buffy in The Gift and After Life are deliberately staged so that Spike is looking up the stairs at Buffy and she is looking down at him (“you’re beneath me”, as she told him in Fool For Love).  And as she says later in Conversations With Dead People:  “Their opinions don’t matter.  They don’t know.  They haven’t been through what I’ve been through [...] I feel like I’m better than them.  Superior.”

So, you know, the preferred power balance is pretty explicit here! I don’t think the show is being excessively subtle. And yet people keep insisting that, oh no, Buffy learns a lot from her boyfriends, or that she can’t possibly cope without their support, or writing fanfics where they swoop in to town to rescue Buffy from trouble. But that is not who Buffy is!  She is not some unsophisticated naif or damsel in distress.  She would hate that so much!  Ship Buffy with whoever you want, but let her be Buffy!

… but also, yeah, rewatching the second season really reminded me how awful I’d have found Buffy/Xander and how glad I am that the show stops hinting at that after Becoming.  Sorry, Xander.  You can take solace in being … well, a loser with friends?

My biggest headcanon about them:  Some time after Chosen Buffy definitely goes back to college and gets that English degree she deserves.  I don’t want to think about Buffy living in a gloomy castle in Scotland and still being forever isolated from the world or about her becoming a cop with superpowers or whatever other nonsense the comics insist happens to her after the show ends.  I want her to be able to have some time off and read some poetry and make Willow jealous academically.

An idea for a fanfiction I would like to write/read about them: One day I will finish my Season 7 rewrite in which Drusilla is the Big Bad and Faith gets broken out of prison earlier and Amy and Willow get to have a proper resolution and Kennedy is another Slayer from the start and Marcie and Ethan come back for cameos and people remember that Jesse and Kendra ever existed and Dawn actually gets something to do.  But first I will probably have to start writing it.

Something that makes me think of them: Nothing makes me think of Buffy.  I choose to be like this (for some reason).