#fuyumi working with kids is so insane to me. like on the one hand i love fuyumi but i Do have reservations about someone who works | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gallickingun · 4 years ago

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break the glass {in case of emergency} || t.s.

SUMMARY: Todoroki Shouto needs help, so he hires a nanny. More specifically, he hires you.

PAIRING: Pro Hero!Shouto x Fem!Reader RATINGS: M/E+ WARNINGS: language, smut, slight violence, etc. WORD COUNT: 21.2k+

LINKS: ao3 | masterlist | mobile | writing tag

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* TAG LIST *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ is at the end of this post!

AUTHOR’S NOTE: this is the definition of a labor of love. big thanks to @k-atsukidayo, @freckledoriya, and @lady-bakuhoe for keeping me sane. and super shoutout to my love @shoutogepi bc she’s been my hype lady! i hope this lives up to everyone’s expectations because wow has it been a wild ride ♡

if you like this, feel free to request more HERE!

Shouto’s feet are trudging through the proverbial thick of life.

His ankles twist the further he tries to advance, and with every step forward, another tragedy breaks the fragility of the glass box he now lives in. The etching begins at the center, spreading out into cracks like lightning, threatening to shatter what remains of the clear cage.

And yet, Shouto must put on the mask, he must pretend that everything is fine when in fact he really would rather crumble to the floor with his hands in his hair. There are nights when he presses his palms into his temples, wishing and praying that someone out there might be listening so they can help him to will away the painful throbbing between his eyes. He can’t whimper, can’t make a sound, because if he does, if he withdraws the curtain and allows the world to know how inundated he truly is, then it will all be for naught.

“Daddy?”

Shouto blinks harshly to bring himself out of the vortex of his trepid thoughts, “Hey, love, what are you doing awake?”

Her teetering body scrambles into the room, pawing at the bedsheets as a broken sob parts her lips and shakes her chest. Shouto leans down to tuck his hands under her armpits, jolting her upward so she’s pressed into his chest. Her small hands grip onto the skin of his pectorals, thin fingernails scraping at his flesh. Shouto winces, but cradles her around the back regardless, the warmth of her heated cheek on his collarbone alarming.

“Did you have a bad dream?” he asks, soothing one of his hands through her hair while the other rests splayed against her back, dipping gently to try and ease her crying. She doesn’t answer, hiccupping cries making her whole body shake as she clutches onto him.

“Hey,” Shouto presses his lips to the crown of her head before coaxing her head backward. He tucks his thumb underneath her chin, “Talk to me.”

The little girl’s lower lip is wobbling, eyes doe-like and full of tears, thick white eyelashes dense with the little saltine droplets. She palms at Shouto’s face with one hand, seeming ancient when she whispers, “Why did they take mommy from me?”

And just like that, the glass box shatters.

Shouto feels the explosion, but maintains his composure regardless of the impact. Shards lodge into his throat and lungs, painful twinges jutting into his insides. His voice feels jagged when he speaks next, grating against his esophagus and tongue, “Sometimes the world just isn’t fair, love. I wish I had a better answer for you, but there’s not always a perfect explanation.”

Her bejeweled turquoise eyes behold him, thumbs against his mouth as she stares up at him. Glassy irises are blown wide by frightened pupils, “I miss her.”

She collapses back into him like a star shattering in the galaxy, explosive tears dripping down his chest as she tremors. The implosion of her life plays before him in the form of an empty half of the bed, a bare side of the bathroom, and a nightstand still left unembellished despite having been there for almost two years.

“I miss her too,” Shouto murmurs into the child’s silvery hair.

If he sheds a few silent tears of his own, she does not admonish him for it, instead laying quietly until her tears and shaking sobs have exhausted her tiny body. Her lips part and she begins to drool into the pocket of his collarbone, hands twitching against his chest.

A gentle melody vibrates Shouto’s lungs as he rolls himself to the side, carefully displacing her from his body to the empty half of the bed. The toddler grabs for him as soon as the warmth of his body disappears, and Shouto focuses all of his energy into regulating the warmth of his left side. He brushes his thumb over her cheek, pushing her silken hair from her mouth so it does not stick with her drool.

He chuckles, tucking her locks behind her ear, cupping her cheek with his warm palm, “Good night, Hana.”

The only acknowledgement he receives is a gentle snore that flares her nostrils and expands her chest, small body only looking tinier in the large expanse of the king-sized bed. Shouto lies there in wonder, his heated hand keeping in contact with her body until she halts her shivering.

How did I get so lucky? He thinks to himself, the threat of tears pressing intensely against the backs of his eyelids. He can’t close them, though, because he’s afraid he might miss a moment of his daughter’s sorrow.

Shouto leans forward to press a kiss to her furrowed brow, the familiar weight of his lips on her head giving her the comfort she needs to release the tension in her sleep. Her expression mellows, the crinkles in her forehead smoothing until she looks something akin to peaceful, ethereal.

The last thing Shouto sees before his mind succumbs to the lure of unconsciousness is her silvery hair glistening in the moonlight of the bedroom, her tiny palm wrapped around his index finger, clutching on like he were her lifeline.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

“I can handle this on my own.”

“This isn’t just another assignment. This is your daughter, Shouto.”

His nostrils flare, “Yeah, and?”

Fuyumi rolls her eyes, containing herself by taking a deep breath through the nose. Shouto’s eyes wander as Hana teeters around the kitchen with a few crayons and a plush rabbit.

“There’s no reason to keep yourself from admitting you need help, Shouto,” Fuyumi grits her teeth and attempts to appear somehow cheerful, even if just for Hana’s sake. She flexes her jaw, “This is an insanely large house, brother. You could use the extra hands.”

Shouto narrows his eyes, the scar over his left side appearing even more intimidating when his expression shifts, “You’re not moving in here, ‘Umi. I’ll figure something else out.”

His sister runs a hand through her hair, shaking her head as she turns her attention to the toddler bobbing her head to an invisible jukebox as she colors another page in her book. Fuyumi licks her lips, “Listen, will you at least call her? She’s great with kids, and she’s between jobs right now. It could at least turn into a short-term benefit for the both of you.”

After a moment of aggressive silence, Shouto nods. He decides, internally, that his agreement is purely out of the recognition that it will force his sister to let the topic rest.

“I’ll call her.”

“Thank you,” Fuyumi’s chest deflates, releasing a pent-up breath she had been holding in unexpectedly. She sifts her fingers through Hana’s hair, thumbing at her ear gingerly, “I know you hate that I loom over you like another mother, but I just want to make sure that you’re both taken care of.”

Shouto’s expression softens, eyes turning from jeweled beads to something more pliable. His chest tightens at her admission, the reality of their situation doing nothing to lighten the burden on his shoulders. He takes a step towards his sister, praying she can see the sincerity in his eyes as he speaks, “I’ll be okay, ‘Umi. I promise.”

Fuyumi allows herself a moment to take in the sight of Shouto’s twenty-one month old child, watching as she scribbles her crayons onto the coloring book in front of her with as much precision as she can muster. A somber smile tugs on her lips and she sighs, closing her eyes as she readjusts her glasses, “I just worry about you, is all. Taking over a large agency is a lot of work, especially with the added pressure of being a good father.”

“I will be a good father,” Shouto is quick to refute her lofty accusations, the intensity of his voice causing Hana to turn her attention from her book to her father. He narrows his eyes at his sister, “I won’t turn out like dad.”

Holding her hands up in mock-surrender, Fuyumi takes a step back, “I know, Shouto. Trust me, I know.” Her eyes are wide and Shouto feels fear grip his spine like a cold shadow, curling up into him and suffocating his throat. He wants to gasp but he cannot show weakness, not now. Fuyumi inhales a short breath, “You’re the furthest thing from our father. Which is why I think you should seriously consider reaching out, getting another pair of hands on deck.”

Shouto considers her, tilting his head. The implications that his ability at caring for his daughter makes his chest constrict, heart aching in a way he’s never felt before. His eyes dart downward, catching on the silver hair of his child as she sits on the floor, grubby hands gripping at crayons while she smears color all over the pages of her book.

“I’ll call her,” he repeats his words from earlier. “I will.”

Fuyumi reaches out to take her brother into a hug, breathing her peaceful nature onto him like a ghost begging to infiltrate his body. Shouto takes a long drag, lips parted when he wraps his arms around his sister’s smaller frame.

As his sister is leaving, Hana’s eyes focus on the door. Todoroki can’t help himself wonder for a moment if she believes that someone else might come walking back across the threshold, if only she were to look at just the perfect moment. The sun shines on Fuyumi’s figure, forcing a silhouette onto the floorboards of the entryway. If he were to squint the right way, it’s possible he could see her outline there, darkness shaped by the light.

Shouto must bite the inside of his cheek to keep his mind still.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

Later that evening, when Shouto has his daughter resting in the crook of his arm, an educational children’s program playing on the television for background noise, he pulls his phone from his pocket to sift through text messages and emails. There are dozens of alerts to sort through, but the one thing his fingers keep returning to is the sight of your contact information in a message forwarded to him by his sister.

If you are every as bit as wonderful and kind as Fuyumi says you are, then Shouto is frightened of what you are capable of, based on your resume and photograph alone.

Not only do you have a stunning personality – caring, gentle, organized – but you have a beautiful outward appearance as well. Shouto notices the curve of your lips, the structure of your jaw and cheeks, and the way your eyes lilt upward at the camera.

The one thing Shouto hates the most about himself, the very being engrained within him to emulate, is that he was brought up worrying about these different kinds of things – the anatomy of a potential candidate.

It’s the Todoroki within him, the lurking presence of his father threatening to stifle his breathing, to suffocate him until Enji is the only glowing ember left in his charred, desolate soul. Shouto sits in the dark, the looming reality that he may very well end up exactly like his father forcing him to press the little green button at the bottom of the screen.

You pick up on the second ring, “Hello?”

“H-Hi there,” Shouto’s voice sticks in his throat.

A gentle laugh from the other end of the line makes his heart stop beating within the confines of his chest, “What can I do for you?”

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

Shouto has never been so worried about the interior design of his house before.

He realizes suddenly that there are no photographs on the walls, no pictures hanging to tell the sad tale of his life story. The recognition of this little detail only further throws him into a darkness he knows he won’t ever be able to fully crawl out of. Every day he must fight this beast, this unseen presence that sits on his shoulders, forcing him to carry the burden. He’s never wanted to tell his life story, not with the way it played out, especially not now.

Abusive father. Hospitalized mother. Deceased wife.

When the doorbell rings, he pulls himself from his stupor to step forward into the foyer. Shouto takes a deep breath and curls his toes into the rug to ground his body as he turns the doorknob. It’s as if the door stands for something much weightier, a distance currently built between you and him, something he can control.

But when the heavy door gives way to the sunshine outside, your body casting an elongated shadow on the hardwood, Shouto’s ankles lock and his fingers still against metal.

“Todoroki Shouto?”

The sound of your voice, completely unadulterated from the natural static of a phone, makes Shouto’s head spin. He nods, swallowing so hard his throat bobs, “Yes, please come in.”

You kick your shoes off as soon as you step across the threshold, tucking them to the side near the other pairs of dress shoes and sneakers accompanied by little ballerina slip-ons and tiny formal shoes. He notices the way your eyes linger on the pink ballerina slippers that aren’t really shoes at all, more like glorified socks, and he has to hold back a chuckle.

Shouto raises his hand in a greeting, kicking the door closed with his ankle as he turns to face you, “Thank you for meeting me.”

“I appreciate you interviewing me,” you answer him, reaching forward to meet his handshake. You’re grinning when he makes eye contact with you, cheeks round with your smile. “I know that your schedule is very hectic.”

Shouto can’t think about it too much or it makes his brain throb within his skull. He grits his teeth, “Yes, my assistant was able to push out a few other unimportant meetings for this. I do apologize, but my daughter is currently with my sister. I thought it may be best for us to meet first and then decide if it will be a good fit before we introduce her into the situation.”

“I can respect that.” You smile, wrapping your arms around your waist as you stand in front of him. The surprising warmth from his hand sits with you, palm tingling even as it’s tucked between your body. A nervous laugh parts your lips as your feet shuffle, “I wouldn’t want to get too attached to her if you didn’t like me.”

Shouto chuckles, his eyes darting to his toes, “Oh, it’s not you I would be afraid of being incompatible. Hana can be very picky.”

Your thumbs dig into your biceps, rolling your lips together as you consider your reply. A soft padding forward of your feet on the dense rug makes little sound, but still breaks Todoroki’s gaze from the floor.

“You’d be surprised,” your left eye dropping in a wink. “I have quite the effect on people. Especially those who stand three feet and shorter.”

He is shocked to find himself grinning at your jesting remark, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he shuffles a step backward from you. You tilt your head, eyes washing over his tall frame, “I’ve been doing this a long time, Mr. Todoroki. Usually children are withdrawn from their caretakers because they fear we’re trying to replace someone more important in their lives.”

You are closer to him now as you stride across the tile. Todoroki feels his chest constrict when you speak, “I’m not here to be anything more than supplemental. You set the boundaries, Mr. Todoroki, and those are what I will abide by without a shadow of a doubt. I’m here to do as much or as little as you need of me.”

It takes him a moment to recuperate, faltering before he replies, “I appreciate that. I-I’ve never done this before. I wasn’t planning on it.”

Shouto notices the way you visibly shrink away from him, understanding the subliminal tones in his words. He holds a hand in the air, palm face-up, “No, that’s not, I just-”

A sigh parts his lips and he looks back down at his feet, but you’re careening forward to save the day before he can dig himself further into a hole he’s already drowning in. You chuckle, “I don’t think many people choose to have children only to set them into the hands of a nanny, Mr. Todoroki. You needed help, that much is clear, and I don’t blame you for reaching out. I think being able to push through your pride and do what is best for your child is not something you should be ashamed of.”

Oh yes, Todoroki thinks to himself with a smirk on his lips, hand outstretched towards you again, He’s going to like you just fine.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

You did not imagine your initial meeting with Todoroki Hana to go like this.

Shouto’s voice is mildly frantic on the other line, which is telling in it of itself. Even upon your first meeting, you knew that he was to be a mild-mannered, easy-going man. He does not seem to be a person who is easily upset by much, so the lilt in his voice is a clear indicator to his mood.

“It’s okay,” you try to remain calm in spite of his fear, praying that your clear head can help him to unwind. “I’m sure she’s fine, Mr. Todoroki. I’m already in the car, on the way to the daycare right now. I’ll go pick her up and call you as soon as I have my eyes on her.”

A breath is exhaled from the other end of the receiver, and you can imagine the way his chest deflates at your words. You smile to yourself, phone pressed to your ear as you drive down the highway, “It will only take me twenty minutes. Until then, try to keep yourself busy, okay?”

The two of you exchange pleasantries before you close your phone, slipping it back underneath your thigh before focusing on the road again. You were thankful that Shouto had already installed a car seat into back row, allowing you to go pick up Hana without having to do too much extra preparation.

Driving to the daycare facility takes eighteen minutes on one stretch of highway. You feel your palms sweat the entire way, recalling Todoroki’s words about Hana’s injuries she sustained on the playground not very long ago. The tremor in his voice sent a jolt down your spine, your bones rattling around in your body as you imagine the dozens of different cuts or gashes she might have on her body.

And then there’s the reality that this will be the first time you ever lay eyes on Todoroki Hana. It will be your reckoning day, the deciding moment of happenstance when she makes the choice of whether or not you are worthy of her acceptance.

You park and walk into the building, your eyes wavering over the entire intricate structure. It’s a formation of pillars and high roofing, accented with filigree of metal curved into beautiful shapes. The price point of this facility does not go over your head, given the marble pillars look genuine, smooth and rounded in all the right places. You run your fingertips over the cool stone as you walk to the thick, mahogany door. The doorknob is sparkling gold, as if someone polished it when they saw you park.

All the details wrapped into a pristine package ease your mind about the salary that Todoroki Shouto is paying you. Originally, you’d wanted to fight him on it, but you acquiesced into silence after taking note of his watch and the name brand of his suit jacket.

Your hand shoves at the front door, weighted and dense, and you step up to the front desk. Resting your forearms on the top of the divider, you smile down at her, “Hi, I’m here to pick up Todoroki Hana.”

It’s clear this woman has never seen you before by the way her eyes gawk over your appearance. You may not be dressed as pristinely as she might like, but you still look rather presentable, given the time restraints you were under to come pick up the young girl.

She tilts her head as if considering you like prey before grabbing up the phone on her desk, muttering a few words into the receiver. As she hangs up, she holds out a clipboard, “We’ll need a copy of your ID. Mr. Todoroki called ahead to let us know you’d be coming, but we’d just like confirmation. For Hana’s safety.”

It all makes sense, and is rather sound policy, but the curl of her lips when she says it forces a vat of acid into your stomach. You swallow your retort that is sitting on your tongue like a knife and gently take the board from her hand.

As you’re filling out the paperwork, the sound of little footsteps starts down the hallway. You tilt your head, pen stilled in your grip, awaiting what feels like your very own doomsday. This little almost two-year-old holds your fate in her tiny, grubby hands.

You stand and replace the clipboard onto the front desk, sliding your ID along with it. Turning your head, you await the arrival of your own two-foot-tall guillotine. You twist your hands together, knuckles wrung out white as you wait for Hana to approach the curve of the hallway and seal your fate. You know you should not be this anxious over a child who has just broken into real sneakers, but the rational part of you never wins out in these kinds of situations.

Todoroki Shouto is paying you something on the upside of expensive, offering you a generous starting bonus in addition to your typical pay so you could start working earlier than expected and still make your rent payments without worry. It would be a shame to lose that thick paycheck just because you could not win over a teetering toddler who probably babbles about princesses and the color purple most of the day.

“Hana, it looks like your-”

“Nanny,” you interject as you hear the voice echoing down the hall, attempting to avoid any confusion if possible. You brush your thighs free of any imaginary dust and crumbs so you can hide the shaking of your joints, “I work for Mr. Todoroki.”

When they finally round the corner, you stop breathing.

The little girl standing in front of you cannot be much over two feet tall, bright blue eyes shining as she drinks you in apprehensively. Her pupils shrink the closer she gets, bejeweled eyes swallowed by the inkiness. Her hands fidget at her sides while she stutter-steps towards you. The long locks of pale, silver hair reach midway down her back, the curled tips giving her an almost doll-like appearance with their perfection. Her full lips are drawn inward, tentative, much like her father.

And there, covering her right eye, a gauze bandage attempting to staunch and protect a wound.

You cannot help the way your eyes widen at the sight of her injured face, your hands ready to snag her up and race her to the nearest emergency room. Todoroki hadn’t told you the extent of her injuries, just that she had an accident on the playground, and someone needed to pick her up immediately.

“Hi Hana,” you squat down so you can appear to her at eye-level, an effort to put her at ease. “Your daddy heard you took a fall outside with your friends and he wanted me to come pick you up. Are you okay?”

She has obviously been crying, cheeks dark red and swollen, her visible eye puffy from tears. Your inner nature is telling you to reach out and comfort her, taking her by the hand and drawing her up into your arms to give her a gentle squeeze. But you know that there is a time and place and threshold for each form of affection, so you withdraw.

“How bad is it?” You turn your gaze upward, calves screaming as you shift your weight. You seek out the eyes of her teacher, trying to gauge your reaction based on her body language, “It doesn’t look like it’s bleeding too much now, and she’s rather calm. Was her eye directly injured?”

“No, it’s just around the orbital,” her teacher runs fingertips through Hana’s hair, “I don’t think she’ll need stitches, but she will definitely need this wound cleaned up by a professional. I know Mr. Todoroki has a nurse he usually calls.”

It’s as if these women are trying to suffocate you with their knowledge of Todoroki, almost like them knowing he has a nurse, or not knowing he’d hired you until today, would win them some sort of award or accolade. You try your best not to let your stomach turn at the sight of them, desperate and petty.

“Hana?”

She tilts her head up at you, another round of tears welling up in her eyelids. You wonder if it is from stress, pain, or a mixture of that and the uncomfortable feeling she can sense from the way you’re interacting with the daycare staff. She sniffles and wipes her face with the back of her forearm, careful of her injured eye, “Y-Yes ma’am?”

So Shouto has taught her manners.

You attempt to keep your composure at the sound of her tinny, trepid voice echoing out the words that are normally rare for even full-grown adults to use. In reaching out your hand, you notice she does not shrink away from you, not this time, “I think we ought to go have that nurse of your dad’s check out your eye, what do you think?”

There is silence for a moment, genuine concern evident in her sparkling irises. She blinks quickly, like she is trying to figure you out before she makes her decision in response to your question. You don’t want to clue her in to the fact that, at the end of the day, it’s not really her choice to make – that plight between staying here and going somewhere else has been completely left up to you.

“You know,” you’re whispering now, dramatically hiding your mouth behind the palm of your hand, pretending that that others standing around can’t hear you. “I think that I saw this cool ice cream shop on the way here. You think you could help me try a new flavor?”

This makes her eyes widen, pushing herself up on her tiptoes as she fails to contain her excitement at the suggestion of a sugary treat, “Wh-What flavor?”

You grin, warmth seeping into your chest as a giggle bubbles up in her throat, “I was thinking bubblegum, or maybe cotton candy?”

Hana’s nose scrunches at the suggestion, “No way!”

“Well,” you stand to your full height, hands on your hips as you pout, “what would you rather have then?”

She is full-on smiling now, cheeks drawn upward so her dimples can dip into her cheeks on either side, “I like mint w-with choco-chips in it!”

You hold your hand out again, praying that now, after divulging your favorite ice cream flavors, she won’t totally reject you. The last thing you want is for her to force your hand in making a decision to pick her up and take her out of the daycare.

Hana pushes herself up and down on her toes, biting her lip before bursting with a smile, “Y-You really mean it?! Ice cream?”

“I don’t see why not,” you shrug, wriggling your fingers as the other women watch on in amazement as your connection to the child. “I think you deserve it after that nasty fall you took.”

Bouncing towards you, Hana bobs into the air by pushing upward on the balls of her feet. She reaches out and snags your hand into her grip of her own accord, before beginning to tug you to the exit. She is babbling on about all of the ice cream flavors she’s tried, and what they taste like, and the last time she had ice cream was oh so long ago…

“See you later, ladies,” you wave over your shoulder, unable to hide the satisfied smirk making your mouth crooked, “I guess we’re going to get ice cream.”

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

Hana knows how to buckle herself in, so she’s already clambering up into your car as soon as you have the door open. Her injury is completely forgotten as she bustles up into the seat, climbing in awkwardly before turning around to plop her backside into the curve of the cushions. Her fingers are frantic as she desperately tries to get the straps clicked together so you can be on your way to the nearest ice cream shop. You smile at her struggle, allowing her to settle with a pout before offering her your help.

“I-I can do it!” she insists, eyes misted. “I-I’m a big girl!”

“Oh, no doubt,” you shake your head in reassurance, pursing your lips as you hold your hands up in midair, palms facing her. “I’m just trying to help so we can get to our ice cream just a tad faster.”

Your reasoning seems to be sound, because Hana releases the offending buckle and puts her hands on either side of her car seat to give you enough room to maneuver and snap the contraption in place. Your hands make swift work of the buckles and straps, tightening them to the perfect spot on her chest and hips. She smiles up at you when you’re finished, expectant and excited.

It is strange, the intense desire to protect her that immediately washes over you at first sight. You have to stop yourself from rushing into allowing her between the cracks of your heart. You are frantic to seal them so you can let yourself down easy if this job ends up being as short-term as you’re worried of it becoming.

You pull away from her, face blank, and shut the door as Hana begins to fiddle with the remaining length of the straps around her body. Her fingers swirl around the black fabric and plastic, tugging and pulling, but not hard enough to adjust any of your hard work.

On your way to the parlor, you decide to call Shouto.

“Daddy!”

A relieved sigh sounds from the other end of the receiver, and you can’t help the warmth that blooms in your belly when you grin. Shouto coughs thickly, clearing his throat, “Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay!” Hana twirls her fingers in midair, watching around like Todoroki may appear out of thin air like his voice echoing in the car. “We’re going to get ice cream!”

“Ice cream?” his voice sounds slightly judgmental, but you try to push it off and pretend it means nothing. You spare a glance over your shoulder, “Tell him what flavor you’re getting, Hana.”

You pull into the drive through window of the ice cream shop, listening as Hana babbles on about the different flavors you two talked about and whether she’ll get a cone or a cup. You put the car in park as the person in front of you orders, swiveling your hips so you can look her in the eye, “I was actually thinking about a milkshake. How does that sound?”

“Ooh,” her eyes grow wider, chubby little hands curling into fists in her lap. She’s practically buzzing at just the thought of it all, “That sounds like fun!”

You chuckle, hand on the gearshift, “Oh, I meant to ask, have you already scheduled the nurse to be at the house? I wasn’t sure if you’d rather it be someone personal to look after her, or if you’d want me to take her to a general hospital.”

“I’ll call Masuyo and have her meet you at the house.” Todoroki’s voice is muffled as he turns to speak with someone else in his office, hand over the receiver. You hear him cough, voice tense, “S-She’s okay, though. Right?”

“I think she’s a strong girl,” you make your voice confident, straightening your spine, “she’ll be fine once we get her cleaned up. Right, Hana?”

You spare one final look at the little girl in the backseat, all bright eyes and buzzing fingertips. She’s already shuddering off of pure energy, and you wonder if sugar was really the best route to go down for her comfort. Either way, she nods her head, enthusiastic about what’s to come next.

“Yes!” She leans forward in her seat, getting closer to his voice, “I can’t wait until you get home, daddy. We’ll play prince and princess, right?”

You can sense the hesitation on Todoroki’s end and your heart turns to granite in your chest. When he speaks, you feel the weight of it settle in your belly, throat tightening.

“I’m not sure, love. I’ll have to see. It’s very busy this afternoon.”

Hana allows her expression to fall for a mere moment. You honestly would not have caught the change in her demeanor if it weren’t for you studying her as Shouto uttered the words. Every bit of enthusiasm that was previously holding her cheeks high is drained. Her face pales and her lips turn downward in a frown, eyes dropped to her hands as she fiddles with her knuckles in her lap.

And yet, almost as soon as she falters, her smile returns, albeit not enough to light up her eyes as it did before. It’s like she is reconstructing a mask that she feels pressured to wear in order to keep her father satiated and undisturbed.

“Oh, that’s okay, daddy,” Hana’s voice is as cheerful as her little strong will can force it to be. She attempts to be dismissive as she waves her hands, despite Shouto unable to see her, “I played princess at school anyway.”

Your heart continues to crack as she says her final line, “I love you, Daddy.”

Shouto exhales, voice breathy when he repeats the sentiment, “I love you more.”

“I love you most.” Hana’s tone lilts then, a crack in her metaphorical armor at his affections despite his absence. She swipes at her face and you wonder if she was crying, because you certainly didn’t see any tears.

Your throat grows thick with emotion, making it difficult for you to tell him goodbye. You roll down your window and rattle off your order, trying to keep a close watch out of the corner of your eye to monitor Hana’s mood and expressions as the moments progress. You feel horrible for intruding on their very personal, private moment, and it only makes your heart wrench more when you see Hana’s glazed eyes unable to focus on one thing in particular. She’s docile, void of emotion as she stares out of the window, watching clouds pass as the world grows darker with the threat of a sunset on the horizon.

You settle the milkshakes into the front seat, finishing up at the drive through window before rolling forward into a vacant parking space. With your foot still on the break, you reach back to hand Hana the small milkshake cup with the straw already pushed through the opening on the lid, “There you go.”

She takes it from you gingerly, small palms wrapping around as much of the cup circumference as she possibly can. Her lips are pouted just enough that you wonder if she’ll take a sip at all. You busy yourself, pretending to clean up trash in the front seat and maneuver things around on the floorboards, waiting on her first drag from the ice cream cup.

But it never comes.

After five minutes of waiting, you press your hand to the passenger’s side headrest and look her in the eye – as much of her pupils that you can catch in spite of her hooded lids. Hana is still dazed, looking into her milkshake cup as if it might have the answers to all of her life’s confusing questions.

“Hana?” Your voice calls her from whatever lull she was in, eyes blinking slow as she connects back to this version of reality. A vague, “Yes?” is uttered from her lips, but she isn’t focused, not just yet. You brush your hand against the top of her knee, quick and gentle, and it does the trick. She blinks one final time before her pupils dilate back to their usual size, gaze settled clearly on your face.

“Did something upset you?” you ask, your hand wrung around the headrest again. “Or do you just not want your milkshake?”

“I dunno,” Hana admits quickly, eyes downturned once she realizes she’s let the emotion slip from her voice. It makes the edges of her words raw and ragged, “I guess I just don’ wan’ it anymore.”

You are persistent; your job is to make her happy and keep her safe, and right now with a milkshake melting in her lap, part of you feels like you’re failing.

“Was it what your dad said?” Your question is asked in a low tone, something you’re trying to use to convey that you are being patient and kind. You take a chance and rest your palm against the car seat armrest, close enough to make contact but not adjacent enough to infringe upon her personal space. You swallow thickly, taking a short breath, “About not being home to play?”

Hana is pinching the straw between her fingers, looking into the little opening as it closes with the squeeze of her fingers. You wonder if she does this often, with tangible objects. Does she ache to control something so much so that she becomes lost in the euphoria of it all?

She sighs, kicking her feet, “Daddy is just always working. It makes me sad sometimes.”

You aren’t sure how to respond, not really. If you had known her for longer, or met Todoroki some other way, you could likely refute her statement. However, there’s truth in what she’s saying, a vulnerability that you weren’t sure you would see from the child so soon.

When she speaks next, Hana reminds you of a full-grown woman, attempting to redirect the conversation from something personal to something vague, “What’id you get?”

Her voice sounds like an echo of her true self, nothing like the way her tone lilted when she first spoke with her father. There is a seemingly eerie mask she has perfected, something both audible and emotional. And it would appear she knows just how to slip it on and off when the time is right, despite her young age.

Then and there you choose to burden yourself with the purpose of breaking her out of her glass box of entrapment.

“I got cookie dough,” you say as you take an over-dramatic sip, crossing your eyes at the sensation of cool ice cream flowing down your throat, “What did you get?”

Her face scrunches inward, nose wrinkling at the bridge, “Y-You know what I got, don’ you? You ordered it for me!”

You make an exaggerated face of confusion, tilting your head backward and tapping your fingertip against your chin. “Hmm,” you nod, agreeing with her accusation, “I guess you’re right, huh?”

“You’re silly,” Hana giggles before going in for her first sip of her milkshake. Her eyes are narrowed downward at the cup, hands cradling it carefully as if it were the most important thing in the world and she might be in danger of spilling it at any moment. Her eyes are wide, doe-like in nature, as she comes up for air, “This is good!”

“Great,” you answer her, switching the gearshift back into drive so you can pull out of the parking lot and out onto the highway to head back to their house.

The remainder of the drive back to the Todoroki residence is spent in moderate silence, gentle music playing on the radio as Hana preoccupies herself with licking every last drop of her milkshake from the straw. She sucks the mint chocolate chip ice cream from her thumb and looks up at you when you park the car in the driveway, “We’re home?”

You unbuckle yourself from your seat and answer her, hopping down from the car to open her door. She’s already working at her buckles, undone the top half, but still struggling with the bottom. By the time you’ve gotten her undone from the chair, she trusts you enough to reach out her arms and ask for you to help her down to the ground so she does not have to clamber down and risk falling onto the concrete.

When the soles of her shoes hit the concrete, she’s reaching up for you, grabbing you around your fingertips to hold on as she walks. You squeeze her hand gently, fishing the keys out with one hand to unlock the door.

The nurse is already inside, set up on the couch. Hana runs straight to her, plopping herself unceremoniously down on the furniture, hand hovering over the patch as she talks with Masuyo about her ice cream experience from just moments ago.

You busy yourself with dinner, prepping meat and vegetables, as Masuyo starts to clean and treat Hana’s wound. It’s another thirty minutes before you start to sear meat on the stovetop when you hear the garage door rattle open unexpectedly. Todoroki shouldn’t be home until later this evening, he texted you after you’d been in line for ice cream to tell you as such.

And yet, when the door opens to reveal his familiar frame, you can’t help the way your jaw unhinges.

“You’re home early,” you mention, flipping the steak pieces in the pan to sear the other side. “Everything okay?”

Todoroki is stunned by how grossly domestic the sight of you in his kitchen is and he’s jarred back into his prior lifetime where he had the full family package. He blinks and takes a short breath, forcing himself away from the swirling blackhole of the past to smile at you, “Yes, well. I decided that my daughter’s health was more important than some paperwork. I had a few of the first-years handle it.”

That is how it starts. Your first day as the new nanny of the Todoroki household.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

“Are you sure you got the right color plates?”

“Yes.”

“And what about the cake?”

“Ordered it three weeks ago.”

“How about the-”

“Shouto.”

He turns to look you in the eyes, breath frantic, “What?”

You can’t help but laugh at the wide-eyed expression he wears, all of his emotions blatantly displayed on his face. You take a step toward him, reaching out to cup his elbow, “I’ve got it all handled, okay? Her birthday party isn’t for another week, Shouto. Are you ready for the zoo?”

Todoroki hesitates, gritting his teeth together so harshly that you can see the muscles in his jaw quiver. He turns his palm to press flat against your forearm, heterochromatic gaze seeking you out for some sort of comfort, “Did you need me to pack the bag?”

“No,” you chuckle, forcing yourself to remove your body from his grasp by walking back to the sink to finish up the load of dirty dishes you wanted to get into the wash before you left. You tilt your head to look across the bar at him, “We’re leaving in half an hour.”

Hana comes careening down the hallway, a doll in either hand, her pajamas still crooked on her body. She giggles, bouncing on the balls of her feet before launching herself forward to latch around Todoroki’s calf like an animal, “Daddy!”

Shouto bends at the waist to pluck her up, hands careful under her armpits when he tucks her into his side, “Yes, love, I’m going to the zoo. But it looks like you need a change of clothes.”

“I already laid some out on her dresser,” you pipe up from behind the sink, “but you’ll need to spray her down with sunscreen first, it’s not very cloudy outside today.”

As Shouto turns to walk Hana back to her room, you allow your gaze to linger a moment longer than the ordinary. Ever since you first took this job, you could note Todoroki’s beautifully carved body and stellar facial features. He is built perfectly for the type of Pro Hero that he is – thick muscles wrapped around dense bones, and yet still a relatively lean frame to hold it all into place. Shouto’s face is cut sharp at the jawline, cheekbones stark against his skin. You are sure to admire him whenever you can.

When you hear him and his daughter talking, sharing words and laughs, it only adds to the flame that burns in your belly at the thought of Todoroki Shouto.

There is no doubt in your mind that it is improper to feel the way you do about a client. They should be nothing more than a paycheck and a steppingstone, and yet somehow you have found a way to allow Shouto to wind his pristine claws into you. He’s got you by the heart and it has only been a few months.

You force your hands to work at the dishes, cleaning what remains so you can start the dishwasher. After you’re done, you make your way upstairs towards Hana’s room, where you hear various grunting noises.

A laugh threatens to part your lips and give away your spying secret when you notice Shouto frantically trying to pull the shirt you picked out over the top of Hana’s head. Her arms are stuck in the wrong spots and you can already tell that it’s somehow inside out, but none of that pushes you to step forward and take over.

It’s only when Hana spots you spying in the doorway that you’re coerced into treading into her bedroom. She pouts and Todoroki doesn’t look much happier. He chuckles, “I swear I’m better at this than I look.”

“Oh, I know you’re helpless,” you smirk across at him, squatting in front of Hana to help untangle her from the clothes and put her back in right side up. Her little hands grab for your face, squeezing your cheeks as she surges forward to kiss your nose, “Daddy is helpless, isn’t he?”

You are too busy fussing over Hana’s hair to notice the way that Todoroki drinks you in like he has been parched for years. He cannot stop himself from memorizing the color of your irises, the slope of your nose, the bow of your lips.

The reality that he could even be attracted to you is lost on him – he swore after his wife died that he would never find another woman to replace her. You have only been here a few short weeks and he’s already begun to question his earlier statement.

It’s just the way she is with Hana, he tries to convince himself. I am kidding myself into believing she’s here for us, not just because it’s a job.

And yet, when his gaze connects to yours, Hana babbling about lions and tigers as you slather her down with sunscreen, Todoroki swears that he feels something different.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

The day of Hana’s party comes quicker than expected.

You’re frantically spinning around, making sure there is enough food and drink for everyone in addition to trying to keep an eye on the children as they play around on the various structures setup outside.

A group of moms gather at the bar, one of them urging the others to look at you with a sinister lilt in their gaze. You continue to serve everyone at the party, filling drinks, bringing new plates of food, and yet their eyes never waver from you.

When you are cleaning up some stray garbage in the kitchen, the blonde woman near the end of the bar perks up, “Excuse me, nanny, would you mind filling my glass?”

It is like the floodgates have opened, and now they are all asking you for favors. You swallow your pride and do as they say whether that’s food or drink or a new napkin or even cleaning up their garbage. They are all gossiping behind their hands, palms raised to their mouths as if that will do anything to staunch the flow of the conversation, or even make it more difficult for you to hear the way they speak of you.

Your pride takes each hit in stride, attempting to roll the insults off your shoulders while you tend to them kindly. It takes Shouto stepping into the kitchen for your face to falter.

You gaze across the room at him and your strong façade falls away, hands shaking by your sides as you look at the floor in shame. You swallow your self-importance and build your walls back to their full height before looking up at him once more.

Todoroki is fuming, to put it nicely.

His hands are curled into fists, knuckles white and cheeks hot at the sight of your unease. He takes a few strides forward, features softening as he reaches out to press his fingertips into the small of your back.

“Are you okay?” he murmurs into the shell of your ear. His breath is warm, spilling down your spine like molten lava, pooling the heat in your belly and turning your insides to mush. The expanse of his palm splays against your back, the plane of his chest flush with your arm when he stands too close.

You take a short breath, unable to get enough oxygen with him crowding your space like this. It is like he’s thinning the air within a few feet of his body, making it difficult to breathe.

“I’m fine,” your voice is high and thick, nostrils flaring when you make eye contact with one of the women at the bar. She is smirking proudly, head tilted so she can look down her nose at you. You swallow the shards of emotion sticking in your throat and look up at Todoroki, confused at the fury held in his irises, darkening them both so they look almost the same color as his pupils.

He turns and you watch in slow motion as his jaw hinges open, anxiety gripping your throat tightly. Your body moves before your mind can catch up; you shift your feet, so your hips are in front of him, hands palming against his pectorals to bring his attention down to you.

You tug on the fabric of his shirt, breathlessly calling to him, “Shouto.”

Todoroki turns his eyes downward, jawline quivering just enough for you to see at this close of an angle. He is intoxicating, the combination of his cologne and his body heat sending your mind spinning. You lick your lips and his eyes track the motion, turning butterflies over in your belly, their gentle wings brushing the insides of your body delicately, enough to tickle.

“Shouto,” you mumble his name again. “S’okay, alright?”

The sound of barstools scraping the floor signifies the judgmental women taking their leave, and your chest deflates at the change in atmosphere. Your hands go slack against Shouto’s chest, head falling forward to rest against his collarbone.

When his hands brush your hips, you snap your eyes upward, neck bent at an uncomfortable angle to meet his gaze. Shouto grinds his teeth together before speaking, “I’m sorry they were bossing you around. You’re not here to take care of them.”

“It’s okay, really,” you pat your hand on his chest as if solidifying your statement, smiling enough to sell it.

His thumb grazes the hem of your shirt, fingertip slipping beneath the fabric to brush against your skin. Your breath hitches and every instinct within you tells you to push yourself up on your toes and grab his shirt in your tight fists, but when you’re eye-to-eye with him, you wish you wouldn’t have listened.

You can feel his stuttering breath on the bow of your lip, and it makes your shoulders quiver. Your name is whispered between his teeth and suddenly he is too close, so close that you’re intoxicated, and every inhibition of yours has been forgotten like dust in the wind.

“Daddy!”

The sound of her voice breaks you apart, stumbling like teenagers caught underneath the bleachers. Todoroki turns to Hana, tending to her face with a napkin and listening to her sugar-driven babbling. You take the moment to slip past them and back to the outdoor area where everyone is gathered.

For the remainder of the night, you feel Todoroki’s eyes on you, following your movements as you maneuver throughout the guests, offering them refills and to take their garbage. He cannot help but feel the heat incinerating his body from all sides, not just his left. The sensation is strange, the ice on his right side usually taking over any and all feeling he might have.

It feels foreign, but not unpleasant. Todoroki’s neck prickles at the impending awareness that he might be in for a crude awakening soon.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

The next few months are a breeze.

Until they are not.

Todoroki has begun to spend more time at work and less at home with each passing day. The threat of his job creeping over him like a looming dark shadow, slowly engulfing him inch by inch until he is surrounded entirely. He spends his days fighting crime, and nights doing paperwork.

You are slowly starting to spend more and more time at the Todoroki house – you are now expected to arrive around five in the morning, and sometimes you do not leave until nine in the evening. It is exhausting, given your drive back to your apartment is a half-hour on a good day with little traffic.

Somehow, you have been able to keep Hana satiated, even without her father around. There are fleeting moments where her cheery expression falters and she sheds a few tears, but you are there to wrap her up in your arms and let her cry until she has nothing left. And then, after she’s dried her face on your shirt, she looks up at you with those beautiful blue eyes and begs you to play princess.

One night, when you are half asleep on the couch with Hana curled into your arms, you feel a palm press to your shoulder, “I’m home.”

You blink blearily, a short jolt of breath stinging your lungs. You swallow and look to the right of you where Todoroki is squatted beside you. He is smiling; you can tell, even in the darkness.

“Hey,” you whisper, careful to cradle Hana’s head as you sit up. “Sorry, it’s been an eventful day.”

Shouto shakes his head and helps you to your feet, palms finding any juncture of you that he can use to support your body. His hand is against your elbow when he speaks next, “No, I’m sorry. I should have been home hours ago. I know you were making dinner.”

“I make dinner every night,” a laugh parts your lips and you run your fingers through Hana’s hair to try and keep her asleep despite the noise. “So, it’s nothing new, Todoroki. Let me go put her down and I’ll head out.”

He looks like he wants to say something, but his jaw snaps shut before he can let out whatever secret he is harboring. You disregard it, walking upstairs to tuck Hana in for bed. She stirs but does not wake entirely and you are thankful. The day has already been tumultuous enough without having to sing her back to sleep or stay up any longer.

As you are walking down the steps, you’re surprised to find Shouto pacing in the hallway, his thumb pinching his chin and his brow furrowed harshly. He looks rather intensely conflicted, and there is a moment where you’re worried, he may decide to fire you. Could you have done something wrong with Hana? Did she not like you? Was he upset that you let her have chocolate before noon the other day?

“Shouto?” you call, padding forward, toes sifting through the carpet. “Is everything okay?”

Another yawn splits your lips and you cover it with your palm, apologizing through your teeth. He shakes his head and steps toward you with a palm outstretched, “Yes, everything is fine. I just have something I’d like to ask you.”

You tilt your head and it reminds him of a curious animal, sniffing him out for food in the form of information. Your hand rests on his bicep and it is dizzying to be this close to you, even after several months of working alongside you. His head still spins when you are too close.

“I was wondering if you might consider moving in.”

You blink dumbly, mouth parted so he can see the pad of your tongue and the tips of your canine teeth. Your fingertips graze against his arm and you feel like lightning is sparking at the cusp of your touch.

The reality is this is not far from normal – most full-time nannies do end up living with their families. It makes everything easier and cheaper. If you live there, he does not have to pay you for drive time, and your boarding costs can be directly deducted from your standard paycheck. This option is what makes the most sense, but you are not focused on sense right now.

All you can see is his bare torso.

You are imagining accidentally walking in on him after he’s taken a shower, or him stumbling in after his morning runs with his tiny running shorts and shirtless upper half. Your tongue goes dry at the thought of it all, but you force yourself to push words past your lips, so you won’t look like a dead fish.

“That’s a pretty permanent decision, Shouto.” Your words hold weight and he knows it, he’s thought this through a dozen different ways to Sunday. You swallow and when your hands brush over his skin, he swears sparks light beneath your fingertips; it makes his arm numb. “I don’t mind, but I just want to make sure that you’ve really thought this through.”

He nods, stepping closer so he’s almost flush with you now, “I feel awful having you drive so early and so late. Your hours would not change, your responsibilities wouldn’t change. You would have your own room and privacy, and I don’t expect to lessen your pay just because you live here. It’s just-”

“Shouto,” you’re laughing now, shaking your head as you look down at your toes, “I don’t expect everything to stay the same if I move in. I’m prepared, are you?”

Truly, he’s thought about that question far too much in the passing days when he sees you around the house or speaks with you on the phone during the day. The idea that you will be here every hour of every day is suffocating, but in a way that makes him want to drown. As time moves faster, Shouto realizes that you have become a second nature in his house. He is thinking of you during his office meetings and the late nights on patrol.

He cannot be honest with the true reason he is asking you to move in, because then he would have to face his emotions and he’s not ready for that yet. And yet, his body betrays his mind as he reaches forward to brush his thumb over your cheek, “I think I can handle it.”

Emotion swells like a blooming heat between the two of you, your bodies almost entirely pressed up against one another as your voices grow softer. You are not sure if it’s the sleep-muddled brain you’re working off of, but you swear that you see his eyes drop to your lips. There is some part of you that wants to fall into him, to let him take you and burn you and leave you for dead, but the rest of you is working off of sense and logic and you know that would never work.

“Well,” your voice shatters the fragile moment, “I guess I better get home and start packing.”

Shouto releases you and something shifts in his irises, but it is gone as soon as it appears, and you don’t have enough time to discern the emotion. You pluck up your bag and slip on your shoes, turning to wave at him over your shoulder as you step past the threshold and back to the garage.

As you start your car, you rest your forehead on the steering wheel before you pull out, and murmur to yourself in utter chagrin, “What have I just agreed to?”

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

“I’m telling you - Red Riot is going to give you a run for your money.”

“That blockhead?” Shouto chuckles, swirling his glass, “I doubt it.”

You tilt your head, “And what about Ground Zero? He’s got his own agency now, doesn’t he?”

Shouto rolls his eyes, “God, can we please leave Bakugou out of this conversation?”

Another swig of the rum and coke slides down your throat, burning in the best way. Your head feels hazy, but you don’t mind, taking advantage of Hana’s early bedtime for the first time in a few weeks. You push your mostly empty glass towards him, “Bartender?”

Todoroki smiles, tipping the bottle downward to refill your glass. You grab the soda off the countertop and fill it to the brim, swirling the mixture with your straw. Another gulp of the liquid has you asking, “You and the other big players all went to Yuuei together, right? Ground Zero, Deku, Red Riot?”

Shouto nods, “Yes, we did.”

“Wow, to have gone to Yuuei,” you whisper in wonder, eyes heavy as you look down into the dark liquid fizzing in your glass.

He leans forward on the counter, body close to you as he asks his obvious question, “You don’t have a quirk, do you?”

“No,” your answer is quick, curt. You swallow thickly, shards of shame sticking in your throat. “I was born without one. You’ve seen my shoes.”

You are referring to the wider shoes that those with no quirk have to wear thanks to the extra joint in their pinkie toes. You lift your foot up in the air for good measure, painted toenails catching the light just right as you wriggle your toes around dramatically. You sigh, “I didn’t fully know who you were when I took this job. It’s kind of embarrassing that I don’t have a quirk, and you’re some superhero saving people with ice and fire.”

Shouto holds out his left palm, face up, and ignites a small flame, “I hated this side of my body for so long. It comes with a burden I’m glad you do not have to bear.”

The weight in his voice entices your eyes upward, connecting with his gaze as the heat blossoms, sucking the oxygen out of the air. Shouto curls his fingers inward and cuts the flame short, a gentle wisp of smoke floating from his palm.

“What does it feel like?” you find yourself asking, the alcohol creating a dull buzz behind your eyes that latches onto all of your inhibitions and immediately tosses them away.

His breath hitches audibly, pupils dilating as he attempts to focus on something other than the way your lips bow when you speak. Shouto steps forward, hands gentle as he cups your cheeks, a bravery he did not know he could muster bolstering his movements. His fingertips tickle your skin and it’s difficult for you to keep your eyes open when he is holding you so tenderly.

Shouto closes his eyes in concentration, taking a deep breath before narrowing his concentration onto the pores of his hands. His palms are flush with your skin and you let your mind wander while he is working up his quirk.

How would his touch compare to different parts of your body?

Your eyes slip shut at the thought, biting your lip as your mind runs rampant. The heat curling in your belly reminds you of his quirk – burning and licking at your belly like a raging flame. You only wish you had his right side to cool you down from the inside out.

Slowly but surely, you feel the right side of your face grow warm while the left side has started to chill. Your eyes go wide, and you circle your fingers around his wrists, voice breathy when you speak, “Wow, Shouto, that’s amazing!”

Your voice goes quiet and it is like the world stops spinning when he opens his eyelids to look down at you. You feel frozen in your spot, but you know it isn’t his quirk affecting you. Your grip tightens but he doesn’t seem to notice, his eyesight directed to your lips, zeroed in on the way that you gnaw at them when you’re nervous.

The tension is like a rubber band begging to snap. You feel the coil twirl around your spine, bunching you together and screaming at you to run away. There are a thousand different reasons why getting too close is dangerous, but your wanton body cannot be bothered to list them. Instead you are pushing yourself up in your seat, so your back is arched toward him, chest brushing his pectorals.

Shouto reminds you of something innocent when his mouth parts and irises glimmer beneath half-hooded lids. You feel distinctly profligate for envisaging his mouth on other parts of your body, the pink of his tongue peeking from behind pearly teeth doing little to quell your thoughts. You swallow thickly and shudder as his hand that produces cold shifts into your hair, rustling through the tresses at the nape of your neck.

Your hands are suddenly wrapped up in the fabric of his shirt, fisting the soft material, and you are pulling him towards you. Even so, it is Shouto who tilts your head upward, heels of his palms gently angling you by the cheeks.

The two of you take a breath before devouring one another whole.

His mouth tastes like whiskey, sharp and biting, but his tongue is in stark contrast to the flavor. He is gentle while still taking over your every sense. His tongue maps out the curves of your teeth and the pad of your tongue while his chilled palm keeps your skin from searing with blush.

The tenderness with which he holds onto you makes your heart rattle around within the cage you have built just for him. You knew this entire time that if he were to wriggle his way in, to touch your heart in just the right spot, you would crumble beneath his ministrations. This entire time you’ve been beholden to him, despite the utter denial you’ve been bathing in to hide the confession.

“Todoroki, I-”

Your voice is cut off by a blazing hand drifting beneath the hem of your shirt, fingers dipping against your spine, “I hate it when you call me that.”

Your eyes go wide but he’s enraptured you with another kiss square on the lips. Your words fall into the confines of his throat, never to be heard again as he swallows them into silence.

Hands are everywhere, so much so that you can’t tell where you begin and he ends.

Shouto nips your lip and you gasp, your hips canting forward of their own accord. Your mouth is gaping, begging for air, and he gives in to your silent request, drifting his lips downward to your jawline. He mutters a string of curse words as your hands finally make their way to his hair and shoulders, digging into him like he might float away.

He hums against your collarbone, teeth bared as he licks and nips at your skin. The alcohol in your bloodstream mixed with his essence in your veins only spins your mind into overdrive, dizzying you to the point that your eyes cross. You whine as he bites kisses into your skin, fingernails dug sharply into the skin of his back through his shirt. There will most likely be little crescent moon imprints when you release.

The trail of his kisses loops back up the column of your throat, teeth grazing your jaw as he works his way to your mouth again. You whine into his lips when his frozen fingers stroke your bare skin beneath your top, “Shouto, please-”

Todoroki’s confidence grows when he hears you moan his name into the air, begging him with only a few syllables. He disconnects his mouth from yours to look you in the eyes, “God, you’re so damn pretty, y’know?”

Your mouth hangs open and Todoroki must hold himself back from slipping his thumb between your parted, full lips. A shuddering breath passes between the two of you, time frozen as the moment sits still. It allows the both of you to agonize over one another, taking in each and every wanton feature as you beg quietly.

“So pretty,” he whispers before digging his hands into your backside and tugging you forward so you wrap yourself around him. His mouth is on you in a flash, all teeth and tongue pulling and prodding at you in a divine way you’re sure only he has mastered.

You are enraptured by him, fully captivated with his dual-ended quirk sending your body into a haze. Your mind is bewildered, thrown into a twirl of rum and Todoroki. If he were to give you a moment to catch your breath, you might be able to find it within your resolve to push him off you, to tell him how wrong this is. And yet, with his tongue tangled in your teeth, you can’t force the word no out of your throat.

Instead it is just his name.

Todoroki picks you up to deposit you on the countertop, thumbs digging into your hips to help you settle. His fingers make quick work of your top, slipping beneath them hem to graze over the swell of your breast on the underside. You whimper at the ghost of his touch, trying to angle your arms so you can tug at the band of his sweats.

When he realizes what you are fumbling with, he uses the bottoms of his feet to tug his pants down to his ankles. He steps out of them, but you can’t focus on anything other than the prominent bulge strained against his dark briefs. You have to swallow the drool accumulating in the center of your mouth, threatening to pool over the corners of your lips if you were to speak.

Before he tugs your shirt over your head, he looks into your eyes, sincerity cutting through the lust clouding his irises, “Last chance.”

He is giving you an out. One last clear path to purity.

You hesitate for a moment and his hands curl tighter around the hem of your top, restraining himself from ripping it away like an animal. His jaw is quivering as he waits on your response, nostrils flaring when you do not answer right away.

Whether it is the alcohol or the need talking, you are the conduit for the words spoken next, “Fuck me, Shouto. Now.”

Your shirt is yanked over your head unceremoniously, but you don’t care. Your eyes are wandering, begging for him to be nearly as naked as you. You don’t have to ask, because he’s already stepping away from you to remove the offensive piece of clothing, baring his body to you.

You’ve seen him shirtless countless times, especially upon moving into the Todoroki residence. He goes on shirtless jogs and sometimes does not wear anything on his torso for a while after he’s showered. There are days he has hardly anything remaining of his costume, after a particularly rough villain or training session.

And yet, this time it feels different.

He is baring himself for you. The intimacy of the moment does little to dull the ache in your mind, the strain of your heart in your ribs. You know that if he were to show you much more openness, you may have bruises beneath your skin from the way your heart threatens to beat at such a quick, tumultuous pace.

Shouto wastes little time in lurching forward to palm at your breasts, mouth too busy with your lips to pay attention to much else. You hitch your thigh between his hips, the curve of your leg brushing into his clothed cock. He grunts into the trap of your teeth, brow tugged with focus as he ruts his hips upward into you. You’re sure to put pressure back against him, the tip of his cock bulging on your thigh.

“Sho’,” you whimper when his mouth drifts from your lips to your neck. Your hands find his hair and his shoulder, eyelids fluttering halfway closed while he licks and nips at your thin, sensitive skin. Your throat burns, flesh aching as he starts to bite into you, rolling the skin between his teeth slowly, agonizing your very core.

A fresh wave of arousal coats the inside of your walls, and you know it is stained your panties, but you don’t have enough dignity to care. All that is on your mind is how he can take you on the countertop, and if you’ll be able to keep quiet enough not to wake the sleeping girl up the flight of stairs.

“Shit,” he’s cursing when your hand finds his bulge, “sweetheart, I-”

His breath is stuttered over your collarbone as you begin to palm him through his briefs. The nickname tumbling from his lips in a moan turns your stomach, effervescent champagne bubbles drifting up from your belly until they are suffocating your lungs. You gasp to relieve yourself of the pent-up anticipation as his left hand reaches the button of your shorts.

Shouto is careful as he unbuttons your pants, slipping the coarse fabric of your jeans down your thighs. As he squats down to help you out of them, all you can think of is what might happen if you were to grab him by the hair and force his mouth to your cunt.

Almost like he was reading your mind, he leans forward after he’s tossed your jeans to the other side of the kitchen floor and his mouth ghosts over your core. Your lower lip wobbles and you must bite your tongue to keep your mewling cries from tumbling out in excess. Todoroki kisses the top of your thigh, nose nudging over the edge of your lace underwear, his eyes closed so you cannot make out the expression settled in his ordinarily stoic irises.

“If you smell this good, I can only imagine how wonderful you taste,” Todoroki smirks against your skin, tilting his head so he can look up at you from his crouched position.

Your hips cant forward at the sentence, pussy already dripping just from the timbre of his deep voice. The vibrations of his word are like shockwaves straight to your core and you want to beg him to give you something, even a teasing lick over the center of your underwear.

Shouto kisses the little bow at the center of your panties, smiling as he snags the accent between the bite of his teeth and uses it to tug your underwear down your thighs. Your muscles tense, his ministrations slow and tantalizing. He chuckles and the sound shoots through your bones as if they were hollow like a feather, the warm honey of his laughter seeping slowly into your every pore and breaking down what remains of your resolve.

You have to cover your mouth with your hands when you yelp at the pad of his thumb brushing back the hood of your clit. His cool palm finds your thigh, just below the curve of your ass, and he stabilizes you with a firm grip, “Sit still, Princess.”

The authoritative tone of his voice turns your spine rigid, eyes facing the wall as he butterflies your pussy so he can see the silvery strands of slick built up between your layers of skin. He licks his lips and you feel the threatening heat of his tongue near your clit and you’re squirming. You are white knuckling the countertop, jaw under immense pressure as you clamp your teeth harshly.

He does not give you warning before delving his tongue between your folds, licking up your accumulated slick with one slow movement. His glittering grey iris tries to find your face, but the only thing he can make out is the line of your jaw and chin as your head is thrown back. Shouto chuckles before starting to explore the glutenous walls of your cunt with his tongue, his one hand still pressed into your thigh, fingers digging so hard that you are sure there will be bruises tomorrow morning.

Your body responds to him quickly, hips canting forward to buck against his mouth, begging for something more than just the quick slithering of his tongue in and out of you. In retaliation, Shouto presses his tongue flat, creating the illusion that it is thicker than before. You keen when he turns the pad of his thumb near your clit, close but not near enough.

“Sho’, please,” you pant, sweat beginning to bead up on your temples from the anticipation alone.

His cocky smirk is something you can sense when he speaks, but even further, you can feel it as he continues to lavish your pussy with his tongue. He huffs before standing to his feet, your slick mixed with his saliva giving his mouth a dangerous glint in the lowlight of the kitchen.

Shouto licks his lips as he steps closer to you again, bodies flush with one another. The hand that you know could burn you in an instant drifts down your side towards your pussy and you feel every muscle in your body clench at the thought of what kind of damage he could do to you if he tried.

Oh, and you’d let him.

You are about to beg him again, wanton moans vibrating your throat, but he intercepts you before you can lower your inhibitions any further. Shouto’s elongated middle finger slips just between your folds, using his saliva and your slick to lubricate his digit as he begins to pump up into you.

Todoroki Shouto is by no means a small man.

However, he is not so muscular that it looks like he is uncomfortable whenever he is walking. He is lean but built, which means that even though his hands are thick with muscle, they are not painful when pressed into your tight heat. Rather, they are snug and comfortable, his knuckle providing a pleasure you’ve not experienced before.

The tip of his finger brushes the spongy spot at the base of your core, and you swear you feel him in your spine. Shouto leans forward kiss you and you receive him quickly, desperate for some sort of tactile relief. He’s grinning into your lips, but you do not care so long as you find some reprieve from the coil beginning to twist within your stomach.

“So fuckin’ tight,” Todoroki whispers into your teeth as his tongue licks against your gums.

At his comment, you clench your cunt around his fingers, tightening your hold only to see how he will react. His hand stills for a moment, but then he is pushing another finger to accompany the first, splitting your cunt open despite the vice-like grip you have on his knuckle. He pumps until the base of his digits are finding the heat of your pussy, his fingerprints searing into your walls as you attempt to stay clamped around him.

Your legs begin to shake from the way you are holding yourself up on your toes, knees bent so you can be closer to his body. Todoroki feels the tremors in your thighs as his hand roams the dense muscle, whispering, “C’mere, love,” and then he’s picking you up gingerly.

Shouto hooks one of your legs around his waist at the knee, arching your back so your cunt is still butterflied open for him. Your other leg dangles from the countertop as he balances you on the edge.

The way his fingers work into you is nothing short of sinful, that white-hot flash of pleasure sinking into your eyelids slowly but surely. You begin to lose your peripheral vision as the impending ecstasy begins to settle in. The crest of the wave is close, his knuckles dragging salaciously against the innermost part of you.

Your jaw hangs open the closer you are to coming undone, panting breaths prying your lips apart. You feel utterly exposed in front of him like this, lewdly strewn against the counter that you were sipping rum and whiskey against not even a half hour ago. And yet, somehow, Shouto’s hand cradled against your shoulders is all you need to bring your self-consciousness down to a manageable level.

From this angle, you can reach down and pull Shouto’s briefs down so his cock can spring free. You’re palming at him as soon as you see the dark red of his cockhead. He stutter-steps forward when you pump him the first time, eyes close to bulging from their sockets at the sensation.

You twist his cock in your palm, running your thumb against the pearlescent bead of pre-come collected at the curve of his slit. Using what you can of the liquid, you drag your damp thumb down the length of his cock for slight lubrication. Shouto bucks into your hand when you bob your palm up and down to connect with the base of his pubic bone.

Now that you’re secure on the countertop, Shouto allows his free hand to wander around the curvatures of your body, mapping out the dips and contours of your frame. His hand is on your neck, thumb brushing your jaw, when your mouth drops open from a particularly pleasurable swipe of his fingers. Your cunt is dripping, and you’re honestly not sure if it even matters if you come, he should be able to slip right between your tight heat with ease.

“S’pretty,” he murmurs, kissing your cheek as his thumb brushes the bow of your bottom lip.

On instinct, your tongue laps towards the digit, silently begging for him to do more.

Shouto listens, dipping his thumb into your mouth, pressing the pad of his finger into the thick muscle of your tongue. You lick and suck at him, rolling your mouth to match the pace of your hand as you work his hard cock towards release. Shouto fixes the rhythm of his fingers so every part of your bodies are going at the same speed.

The collective sensations of his hands and mouth are too much and you cry out, digging your free hand into his shoulder to attempt and ground yourself. You pant, looking up at him with bejeweled irises, tears sitting dormant on your lashes as a whine sits pretty on your lips.

“What is it?” he asks, borderline patronizing. “Are you gonna come on my fingers?”

Your lower lip trembles and you feel yourself slipping into some subservient headspace at the tone in his voice. You nod, rolling your hips to meet him as he slows his hand, “P-Please, Shouto, I-”

“I want you to come,” he murmurs into your ear, leaning forward so his breath is hot on your skin. The hand he has buried in your cunt begins to heat and the searing sensation sends your mind reeling. Shouto nudges his nose along your jawline, warmth creeping along the base of his palm, “C’mon, love, I want to see you come. Make a pretty little face for me, yeah?”

His words do little to quell the growing ache between your thighs, the pent-up need begging to be released. You clench around him again, not forgetting his cock between your hand. You continue to twist your wrist, flicking your fingers along the length of his dick, dragging with just enough pressure to make his eyes cross. Teasing the head, you drag the pad of your thumb over it, catching another swell of pre-come and trailing the liquid down the thick shaft.

You whimper his name, squeezing your eyes closed so harshly that the corners of your lids crinkle. Your sounds only grow louder when his mouth begins to suck at your nipple, massaging your breast in his chilled hand. The crystallization of ice draws your attention, a frozen cold so intense that it almost feels hot in its own unique way.

There is a stinging excitement at the duality of the temperatures that grow further apart the longer he activates his quirk. Your nipples pebble while your pussy floods from the heat, copious amounts of slick trickling down his fingers to pool in the creases of his palm. Shouto murmurs obscenities against your earlobe but you’re in such a realm of fevered phrenzy that you can’t make out he’s even speaking English.

“Sh-Shouto, I-I’m close,” you manage, feeling the way his cock throbs beneath your touch helping to bring you back to the cusp of reality. You dive deep again when his fingertips brush against your cervix, allowing his passion to force you beneath the surface.

His thumb is circling your clit as he murmurs, “C’mon, darling, I know you can do it. Come for me, yeah?”

It’s as if his words united with his caress are enough to shove you head-first into the pool of desire. You are whimpering, cunt fluttering around his fingers as your come drips down the crevices of his palm. Your release reaches his wrist, milky liquid tickling his skin.

“Atta girl,” he kisses your cheek, fingers stilling for a moment to allow you to collect yourself. You continue to ride out your high by bucking your hips over his knuckles, slippery fingers easily providing you the rest of the comfort you need to come down from your high.

“Your turn.”

You’re pushing your way off the countertop when the creaking of the stairs makes your heart still within your chest.

Shouto’s stare flickers from you to the staircase, jaw hung open as he analyzes the sound. When another step echoes in the hallway, he’s quick to yank his briefs and sweats back over his hips. He helps you into your shorts, the silvery strands of your release forgotten as he tugs the fabric up your hips.

You’ve just gotten your pants buttoned when Hana’s teetering figure creates a shadow on the kitchen floor.

“Daddy?” she whimpers, fists digging into her tear-filled eyes.

Shouto swipes his hands against his sweats before crouching in front of her. His palms find her sides quickly, thumbs grazing her rib cage in an attempt at comfort, “Hey, love,” the sound of the nickname makes something stir within your belly, “what’re you doing awake?”

Hana swallows a hiccup, “I-I had a bad dream.”

You step forward, pressing your hand to Shouto’s shoulder, offering a gentle nudge of comfort. Hana blinks up at you, jeweled irises focused on your face, “M-Momma?”

The title holds a weight you had not prepared to carry.

She’s all but forgotten Todoroki, pushing past him to barrel into your shin, wrapping her stubby arms around your knee. She wipes her face against the skin of your thigh, sniffling louder as a fresh wave of tears takes over her body. Her shoulders shudder and you don’t have time to wonder whether she’s cognizant enough to realize that she’s just called you her mother.

You scoop her up in your arms, holding her gingerly by the back and head, and she wraps her legs around your midsection to anchor her little body to your torso like a frightened animal. Hana buries her head into your neck, tears sticking to your skin and creating an unbearable heat.

“You’re not leaving, right?” Hana whimpers, “I-I had a dream that you left.”

In an effort to comfort her, you run your fingers through her hair, gently separating the strands so your nails can scratch her scalp. You kiss her temple, “Of course not, sweetheart. You’re stuck with me.”

She retracts from your neck and a rush of cool air washes over you. Her irises are swallowed by her pupils, thick droplets of tears wetting her cheeks. You smile, forcing yourself to forget the way you were just about to jump her father’s bones, and brush your nose against hers in an eskimo kiss.

“It was just a dream, babe,” you comfort her, making sure you are looking at her directly when you say it so she feels much more solid in the reality that you are here to stay. A soothing hand reaches forward to couple with yours, thumb tracing the bump of her shoulder.

Todoroki kisses the back of her head, “Hana, there’s no need to worry, love.”

“I already lost one mommy,” Hana sounds ancient when she speaks, voice far away and intelligent beyond her young years, “I don’t wanna lose another one.”

Your voice is lodged in your throat now, tears of your own pressing threateningly against the back of your eyes. You try to swallow but the shards of your heart are blocking your windpipe, cutting off your oxygen. Todoroki slips his hands beneath Hana’s armpits, separating her from you so he can cradle her body against his chest, “You’re not losing anyone, sweetheart. Let’s get you back to bed.”

You take this as your cue to leave, grabbing your things as Todoroki takes Hana back up the stairs to her bedroom.

A sense akin to despair settles in your chest, restraining your heart in such a way that makes it difficult to breathe. The world seems to settle atop your shoulders and in the next moments you have turned into Atlas, forced to hold the earth up by your careless grip. Tears settle in your lids as you pull away from the Todoroki residence.

Something tells you that things will never be the same.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

As much as you hate it, that little voice eating away at the back of your mind was right.

The looming reality that Todoroki is avoiding you does little to satisfy the curiosity settled in your bones, affecting you down to the marrow.

Ever since that night, he hardly looks you in the eye.

In fact, he’s barely even around to see you at all.

Todoroki leaves for work before you can emerge from the bathroom with Hana in tow, fresh from a bubble bath and ready for breakfast. He slips back through the doors late at night, normally after eight, so Hana is either passed out with you on the couch or curled up beneath her covers in her bedroom. There is not another time where he touches you gingerly on the shoulder and guides you back to bed, not anymore.

You have wondered many times if you should approach him, beg him for some sort of explanation. Not only is his distance affecting you, but it’s turning Hana into a child you hardly recognize. She is still cheerful a majority of the time, begging you to play princesses and watch Bubble Guppies. But there are times when she turns angry, ripping the heads off her dolls and trying to sabotage Todoroki’s work clothes by drawing on his shoes or dropping her glass of morning milk on his suit jacket.

You start to cook his meals the day before, packaging them up in a Tupperware container that’s always gone when you check at breakfast the next morning. You are not a blind woman, and you normally choose to indulge his silly game of hide and seek instead of confronting him about what happened that night.

However, tonight, you’ve had enough.

Even though he’s decided to spend the weekend at home for the first time in a few weeks, you’ve never felt more on edge. Hana is extremely irritable, nightmares plaguing her mind during the time she’s supposed to be sleeping, and it would seem there is nothing you can ever do to satiate her throughout the day.

Playing princess is boring, coloring is stressful, blowing bubbles is stupid.

You are reaching the end of your rope and Shouto’s evasive presence does little to satiate your temperamental moods. You clutch at the cusp of sanity, praying that it will not leave you just yet; the only thing holding your tongue back from lashing out is the sliver of discretion that you’ve managed to sustain in spite of the day’s events.

“Hey, uh-” Todoroki’s voice is strained as he stands in the archway of the kitchen, “Would you mind making us a couple of sandwiches? I think Hana is getting hungry.”

The warmth from the dishwater gives you something other than his irises to focus on, your eyesight directed downward, “Sure. What would you like?”

“Let’s just do peanut butter and jelly,” Shouto shrugs nonchalantly. “Grape, if we have it.”

Your ears perk up at the mention of a specific flavor. You are certain that if you were to look into the refrigerator that you would not find grape jelly, but it’s obvious that Shouto is otherwise unknowing.

“Grape?” you echo, pulling your hands from the dishwater to wipe them on your hand towel. “You think that’s a smart choice?”

Shouto scoffs and it stings so much that you turn your head away from him, eyes now focused on the floor beneath your feet, “Yes, I’m sure. Why does it matter anyway?”

“Oh, no reason.” You pluck a jar of strawberry jelly from the refrigerator and begin to prepare the countertop for your sandwich making.

He takes a step forward to protest, but you’re waving the knife in his direction before he can stride across the tile, “You listen to me, Todoroki. And you listen good.”

Shouto pauses, throat bobbing as his line of sight zeroes in on your lips. His eyes widen, pupils swallowing his irises in fear. The knife wavering in your grasp holds much more weight than any other butter knife he’s come into contact with.

“We don’t have any grape jelly because your daughter is allergic to grapes.”

Your knuckles turn white as you grip the butter knife in your hand, “And if you were ever here you might notice a thing or two, such as an allergy to something that could, I dunno, kill her?!”

The sound of your voice raising an octave or two reverberates off of the walls and thrums at Shouto’s heartstrings. He swallows thickly, but you’re not done tearing into him just yet.

“This little charade you’ve got going on has got to end.” Your voice is desperate, unhinged, and you feel the honesty scrape against the front of your throat, “Your daughter is turning into someone you can barely recognize, and you’re not far behind her.”

Silence envelopes the room, and the only thing you’re able to hear is your heart beating frantically in your own ears. As your pulse thuds rapidly, rushing like a river of thick emotion throughout your body, you feel your palms begin to sweat. The longer you keep quiet, the louder the sound grows.

Finally, after giving him a few minutes to respond, you press the tops of your fists into your hips, glaring down your nose at him, “If you want me gone, all you had to do was ask. I thought we respected one another enough for that.”

You slap together two sandwiches quickly, tossing the plates onto the counter for him to pick up on his own before you turn and walk from the room. You’re unable to look at him any longer, not sure if it’s the loitering reality that you may have to move on from this chapter of your life or the loss of a generous paycheck and living situation that wraps your heart like the talons of a bird, squeezing until you can’t breathe.

The tumultuous roll of emotions scrapes away at your chest, and you’re surprised that there isn’t blood gushing from your ribs. You lean back against your closed door, head tilted backward to stave off the tears, saltine droplets coating your lashes as they sit in your ducts, pending the gentle sway of your neck to drip down your cheeks.

You aren’t sure how long you stay this way, crumbled against your door with the heat of disappointment building smoke in your lungs. It’s difficult to breathe, a dizziness taking over your mind that you’ve never felt quite so acutely before. You cradle your head in your hands, massaging your temples with your thumbs to try and mitigate the oncoming migraine.

A knock sounds at your door and you jump, hand pressed over your frantic heart, “Y-Yes?”

“Can-Can I come in?”

Shouto.

The sound of his voice does little to staunch the metaphorical puncture wound in your chest. You flex your hands before standing to your feet and opening the door, allowing him to step over the threshold into your room.

“Listen, I think there’s just-”

“No,” you interrupt, a short breath filling your lungs, “I’m going first.”

Todoroki’s eyes dilate, his feet stuttering backward as he takes in your assertive sentence. He grits his teeth, jaw quivering under the stress, but keeps his lips sealed in spite of desperately wanting to speak out.

“If you don’t want me here, you could have just said so.” You wring your hands together, knuckles knocking against one another as you twist your fingers. You close your eyelids and inhale a deep breath, “What happened, u-us kissing, wasn’t professional, and I apologize. But what you’re doing to Hana?”

You flare your nostrils as your hands turn to fists at your side. Todoroki watches you closely, eyes never wavering from your frame as he takes in your quivering, quiet fury. Your jaw muscles tense and you force your eyes to meet his, despite the glossiness settled in them, “You’re never here, Shouto. You missed her ballet recital last week, then you forgot she was allergic to grapes, and now you’re not seeing what’s directly in front of you!”

The more you speak, the louder you become. You can feel your cheeks heating, the tears building up in your eyelids with every syllable. Your fists clench at your sides, and your fingernails dig irately into your palms, so harshly that you swear you might draw blood. Each word draws out an anger in you that you didn’t realize you were harboring, like a fugitive sitting in the cage of your chest, tugging on the bars of your heart as they beg to be broken free.

“Hana deserves better than this, and you know it, Todoroki. So if you don’t get your head out of your ass,” your lower lip wobbles and you reach forward to poke him directly in the chest, index finger dug into the space between his pectorals, “you’re going to lose your daughter.”

You’re shaking your head and your fist as the next sentence comes tumbling from your lips, heart strings fully wound as you speak, “Listen, I don’t know what your problem is, but if it’s me, then I’ll leave.”

Shouto’s brow furrows as he looks down his nose at you, “Are you finished?”

The deadpan of his voice stirs something in your belly, something like an acrid fire that plumes in your chest, the smoke of it all curling around your throat and begging to be spewed like acid from your tongue. Your teeth grind into each other, a creaking sound echoing in your own ears. The way your heart twists in your chest makes it difficult to breathe, but you manage.

“Fuck you, Todoroki.”

You go to turn away from him, your hand falling from his chest, when he snatches you by the wrist, repeating his question, “Are you finished?”

A small remaining sliver of your patience sits heavy on your chest, forcing you to nod your head. Regardless of how you feel about him, Todoroki Shouto is an important man, and you need to leave here a dignified woman. If you make a scene, if you flash your fists and bare your teeth, it’s possible you won’t have another job ever again.

“I don’t want you to quit,” his voice is breathless, an octave higher than normal; he almost sounds sick, “but there is a problem.”

The anticipation of what he might say next brings back that acidic wash in your belly, throat squeezed shut by the clamped hands of insecurity and doubt. Shouto takes a careful step forward, mindful of your personal space as he does so. His fingers never leave your wrist, circled around your arm even as it’s pulled away from his body.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

To say that the world stopped spinning was an understatement.

You feel the whole planet turn on its axis, your body undergoing vertigo as the metaphorical rug is yanked out from beneath your feet. Your stomach flips, the acid molting into lava, hot and sticky as it licks up against your skin, pooling just below your navel. His grip is too restrictive, and you can tell your body is beginning to shift into panic mode.

“You’re right,” he barges in on your internal monologue of self-hatred, eyes boring into your soul, “I’ve been a shitty father, which is painful for me to admit. But it’s the truth.”

The conviction in his voice is solid, and you know that he is being authentic. Todoroki has a clouded past when it comes to his father, Enji. You are aware of the influence his estranged parents have on his relationship with his child, which is one of the reasons his distance has troubled you. Every time he has had enough vulnerability to allow you to peek into the glass panes of his soul, he’s shown you the scars that Endeavor has left on him.

Todoroki uses his free hand to cup your cheek, thumb under your chin to pull your attention back to him, “I tried to distance myself from you to get a better grasp on the way I was feeling.”

His palm grazes down the column of your throat, his eyes careful not to stray to close to your lips or else he’ll get distracted. Your mouth bobs open but you have nothing to say, and the bewildered expression on your face makes him laugh. The sound of his baritone chuckle does little to quell the storm raging beneath your skin, lighting striking with every single touch of his fingers and thunder booming in your chest at the sound of his voice.

“For the longest time, I believed I would never love anyone again after my wife passed away.” The feel of his knuckles slipping between yours, palm searing into you despite it being his right side. At the mention of his wife, your whole being begins to shudder, the weight of expectations and self-doubt pressing into your chest like a mass you cannot remove.

Todoroki swallows the lump in his throat, neck bobbing, “I was content with it just being Hana and I for the rest of our lives, us against the world, until you came along. You fit so perfectly into our family, sliding in seamlessly as if you’d been here the whole time. You managed to win Hana over in a day and now she can’t stop talking about you. And then, when Hana called you mom, it threw me.”

Shouto’s eyes are intense as they stare into you, narrowed and attentive. The odd combination of one blue, one grey, is hard to grasp, unsure of where you should look specifically. His fingers against your neck card through your hair, keeping you anchored to him and this world.

“It was easier for me to dive into work because I knew I’d have you here to pick up the pieces,” Shouto admits, his gaze finally breaking away from your face to narrow focus to his sock-clad feet. “I was so weak for you that I couldn’t bear it. And then you and Hana both suffered for my cowardice.”

A wave of destiny washes over you, looming like a shadow, begging you to make a decision.

“Todoroki, this is-”

“I told you,” his thumb grazes your cheekbone, “not to call me that.”

Your jaw hangs open and tears cloud your vision, and you want to smile no matter how hard your body fights against you. Your lower lip quivers and you shake your head, saltine droplets lingering on your cheeks, “I-I can’t, Shouto. I’m not right for you and Hana, I’m not-oh.”

His mouth slots against yours, angled perfectly to capture your lips in a gentle kiss. Shouto’s hands are on your face, holding you in place so you can’t run from him, despite how every cell under your skin is screaming to bolt from your place.

As he parts from you, you’re left in a daze of euphoria, eyes half-lidded, mouth still pursed as you chase after him, pleading for more.

“You can’t tell me you don’t feel the same way,” he murmurs, thumb brushing your lower lip before retreating to trace your jawline.

And you know that you can’t; your body has already betrayed your words with the simple action of a kiss. Your hands follow suit, wrapped around the fabric of his shirt to keep him close, frightened he might leave you all over again.

Shouto’s hands drift down your abdomen, slow against your rib cage as if he were counting each bone to make sure they were all there, safe and sound. He kisses your forehead and then your nose, mouth hovering over the bow of your lips, eyes begging you even though his voice is caught in his lungs.

You say a stupid thing then, just something meant to break up the quiet, but with the floaty tone of your voice it breeds for much more wicked thoughts.

“Your lips are really warm.”

Shouto laughs before devouring you at the seam of your mouth, leaning forward to scoop you up in his arms, hands dug in at your thighs. You squeal against his lips, wrapping your legs around his waist, your fingers dipping into the muscle of his shoulders for an anchor.

He’s got you back against the bed before you can breathe again, leaning back on his thighs so he can pull his shirt over his head with ease. Your palms are like magnets to his abdomen, fingerprints finding each curve and dip of his muscle, praying you can map it out so you might memorize it for the times when he’s not able to be this close.

As his fingertips graze beneath the hem of your shirt, your eyes go wide, stuttering breath accompanied by panicked words, “H-Hana? Is she-”

Shouto chuckles, “She’s laid down for her nap. We have about two hours.”

The devilish glint in his eyes does little to quell the rampant thoughts running in your mind. You suddenly want to feel his hands and mouth everywhere on your body, insatiable in your lust for his touch.

“Sh-Shouto, please,” you’re panting and he hasn’t even undressed you yet, “need you.”

A devout confession such as that one, something so primal in its nature, shifts his demeanor from playful to sinful. Now his fingertips are dancing beneath your shirt, palming over your skin like he might find a hidden treasure in your bones.

He shakes his head, nose grazing your cheek as he starts towards your collarbone, “Tell me what you need, darling.”

“Need you.”

You are quick in your answer, eyes screwed shut at the tantalizing ministrations of his fingers on your flesh. He is teasing you, just close enough to your breast that it hitches your breathing, but not too close to where you can feel pleasure. A hot wash of arousal rolls into your body, slick beginning to gather between your thighs.

“More specific,” the words are muttered around the skin of your chest, one of his hands tugging on your collar to bare more of your body to him.

You whine, bucking your hips upward, knowing exactly the shape his cock will be in beneath the underwear that has him caged from you. You reach forward and tug at the waistline of his briefs, “Please, Shouto, I want to feel you.”

At the mention of feel, he takes you by surprise as he slips two fingers between your folds, curling into you quickly. You muffle your whine into the pillow, turning your face so your cheek is smushed against the downy cushion. Shouto’s palm that isn’t occupied with your tight heat tugs your shirt up over the tops of your breasts, baring your chest to the cool air of the bedroom.

“You are feeling me, sweetheart,” he teasingly licks over your nipple, thankful for the lack of a bra separating you from his wanton tongue.

Another moan drags salaciously from your lips, vibrating your throat and making his cock twitch, “Sho’, wan’ your cock. Please.”

You’re able to drag his pants and briefs down at once, his cock springing free from the restricting fabric. When it bobs against his abdomen, enflamed red cockhead leaking pre-come, you feel saliva build up in the back of your throat. You start to pump him as best you can, watching as his weighty balls swing under your touch.

Everything about him is enticing, from his dual-toned hair to his heterochromatic eyes to his chiseled body. You’d use your tongue on every part of him if he’d let you, but right now you’re focused on only one thing.

Once Shouto has coaxed enough of your arousal to coat his hand, he curls his fingers into you one last time, collecting the silvery fluid on his fingers, and then stands to step out of his clothes. You keen at the loss of contact, eyes wide open so you don’t miss a second.

“C’mon, baby, take your clothes off for me.”

At his command, you’re stripping down until you’re bare in front of him, clothes in a pool of fabric on the floor right next to his. Even the simple intimacy of his clothing overlapped with yours does things to your heart, a pinpricking sensation making your skin heat.

“Hi,” he whispers, fingers framing your face as you get lost in his touch. His voice is gentle, and his touch is probing in the best of ways, a genuine smile tugging his lips upward as you echo the word back to him.

You can feel your arousal tumbling within the confines of your body, begging to be put to use as you feel his cock against your thigh. Todoroki guides you back into the mattress, shoulders pressing into the cool sheets, your body given some sort of contrast to the molten heat circulating under your skin. Your blushed skin draws Shouto’s attention, eyes dragging over each inch of your body, mesmerized by your beauty.

Todoroki shakes his head, “You’re beautiful, you know?”

And at the end of his sentence, acting like punctuation, his cock slides between your heat.

Your eyelids flutter shut and your hands are on him in an instant, nails dug into his flesh to try and dispel some of the energy already built up within your fragile body. Shouto feels lightning spark up into his spine, the trails of it striking his hidden heart, licking at the edges of the glass box keeping him imprisoned from the world.

As your cunt clenches around him and your mouth utters his name like a prayer, Shouto can tell that his chest is constricting, tightening around his heart in an attempt to break himself free from the confines of his past.

“Sho’,” you’re mewling for him now as the veins of his cock drag salaciously against your tight, glutenous walls. Silvery slick coats his dick and he moans as your pussy clamps again.

He begins to build up the speed of his thrusts, his thumb brushing over your clit slowly, the very beginning of a pleasurable end building up within your belly. His mouth is attached to anything on you he can find – breast, collarbone, jaw, throat, cheek. Teeth and tongue lash out at you, parting his mouth so his heated breath can wash over your body.

Shouto focuses as best he can on forcing heat down the length of his arm, pinpointing the warmest point onto the tip of his thumb. You preen, eyes bulging out of your sockets well enough that he can translate your pleasure. On the opposing hand, the one currently preoccupied with your nipple, begins to freeze. Gooseflesh trembles on his arm but he does not mind, not when he gets to hear your panting whines of his name mixed with the begging sounds of please, please, please.

“Such a good girl,” Shouto murmurs into the thin skin of your throat, tongue delving from between his lips to lavish your jugular. “So pretty, laid out just for me.”

You nod your head as best you can, eyes wide as you drink in his praise. Your mouth bobs open but you can’t form words, not anything intelligent anyway. Shouto reaches his icy thumb towards your lips, brushing his cool touch over the heated skin, steam wafting between the two of you.

“Have you been thinking about this as long as I have?” he asks rhetorically, not expecting you to answer based on the fucked out look in your eyes, the drool seeping from the corner of your mouth as his body makes quick work of you. Shouto grunts, “I’ve wanted to take you against every damn surface in this house for months.”

His left hand peels from your clit, running up over the curve of your thigh to press beneath your knee, pushing your leg upward so he can thrust into you from a better angle. Your hands are stuck on the sheets now, his body just out of reach thanks to the twisting of your hips. Shouto slams into you, balls slapping your ass as he ruts forward.

You feel his cock harden even further from within the confines of your cunt, the tip of him brushing against the spongy corner of your insides. After another deep thrust he’s bottomed out within you, hips absolutely flush with your thighs as he presses into you.

Shouto leans forward, not daring to pull himself away from you just yet, enjoying the way you envelope him fully, “You think you can come for me, love? I want to feel you come all over my cock.”

“Y-Yes, Shouto, I-I’m getting there, almost,” you promise him, eyes fucked out to the point you can barely make sense of his frame loitering above you. Your lower lip wobbles as you pout, “A-Are you gonna-fuck-want you to come in me.”

It’s a simple sentence, but the weight of it makes Todoroki’s heart stop. He knows you’re on preventatives, he’s had to stay home with Hana to cover during the day for your doctor’s visits. But something stirs at the base of his cock, weighing in the thick of his body, and for some reason he wishes you were his for the taking in every sense of the word.

As you whimper beneath him, his eyes trail over your body, landing on your belly. His fiery touch grazes the swell of your stomach where he knows his cock is pressed deep within you. His balls throb at the thought of coating every inch of you in his spend, you begging for more as it leaks out of you and onto the sheets; him drawing you into another round just to make sure that you’re stuffed full.

Suddenly, a fracture within his chest allows him to breathe deeper. As you buck your hips into him, begging him for more, telling him how good he’s making you feel, Shouto recognizes the fragile box surrounding his heart, guarding it from the world, has begun to shatter.

“Shouto, please,” you are begging him now, glassy eyes and pitched tone designed just for him, “Need to feel you, everywhere.”

Your plea is the final rock thrown at the glass box, cracking it in every direction. Shards of emotion lodge in his throat, tearing into him so he cannot breathe. As he gasps for breath, fingers digging into your skin, he knows he’s bruising you but he can’t bring himself to think of it as anything other than finally marking you down at his.

And then, when your breathy voice curls in the air, settling on his chest like a balm, he feels the glass melt away, turning to liquid fire in his gut. The words you utter tear open his heart, leaving a gaping, belligerent wound that he knows only you can mend.

“I love you, Shouto, I love you too.”

His eyes find yours, wide and wanting. You nod as if that will solidify his place in the universe, tears blurring your vision, repeating the sentiment over and over again, uncaring to the way your face looks glassy beneath the lowlight of the bedroom. You just need him to know, need him to understand.

“Shit,” he pushes the heel of his palm into the bottom of your stomach, itching to feel the way his cock pulses in and out of you as he thrusts into your body. His thoughts are even more permanent now, the idea of filling you up, pouring his body into you in the most primal way possible, is the only thing he can see. Your hand makes its way into his hair, tugging at the crown of his head as you lean forward.

A mix of crimson and white is bunched between your fists, matching the little tufts of hair that tickle your pelvis every time he bottoms out within you. You scrape your nails against his scalp, but that only spurs him on faster, panting moans busting his throat open and begging you for more.

Your lashes flutter against the tops of your cheeks, mouth parted so he can see the pink of your tongue, “Sh-Sho’, I’m close.”

He makes it his mission to twitch his cock within your walls, providing an extra layer of stimulation as his channels himself into you mercilessly. Somehow, he does it with such a finesse that it does not feel rushed or sloppy. Shouto is very careful, precise, in everything he does, and you are not surprised it works its way into the mannerisms he exhibits between the sheets as well.

“C’mon, darling,” he coos into your ear, folding your thighs upward so you’re fully pressed into the mattress, “I want you to come for me, yeah? I want you to coat my cock. You can do it, you’re close, I can feel it.”

His praise intertwined with the thickness of his cock bulging within you breaks the crest of the wave, allowing pleasure to flow through your body and onto his cock, coating him in your thick, sweet release.

“Fuck, you feel good.” Shouto continues to thrust upward into you, eyes focused on your face as he uses your cunt to bring his own euphoria down from the clouds. He’s looking down at you, jaw hung wide as he buries his cock into your tight heat, enjoying the way your slick lubricates his length.

You buck up into him and he drops his head to your collarbone, thrusts becoming sloppier the longer he tries to hang on to the edge of the cliff. Your hand in his hair tugs on the strands, mouth by his ear as you whisper, “Please, Shouto, want to feel you come in me. I want you to pump me full of your hot load, stuff me-ah.”

His hips stutters as he releases his seed into you, tongue lapping at your throat carelessly to try and force his body not to start up again. The need to feel you coming around him, begging for his cock and come, is something he has been denying for too long.

“I love you,” he whispers into the curve of your earlobe, nipping at the skin as his hips still. “Fuck, I love you.”

You smile, pressing a kiss to the curve of his scalp, “I love you too.”

As he reaches the extent of his high, he presses his body flat into you, cock twitching within your core. Your palms find his shoulders, grazing gently with your fingernails until he’s moaning into your neck, hot breath fanning out over your skin.

“Unless you want to go again, I suggest you put an end to that,” he warns, but there is no intent behind it.

You laugh, rubbing your ankle against his calf, “We’ve got a little one about to wake from her nap. Maybe later.”

And that is a promise you fully intend to keep.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

“Momma?”

You turn your head, pancakes on the griddle in front of you, “Yes, honey?”

Hana bounces towards you, white chiffon dress bubbling out at her knees, “When is breakfast ready?”

“When daddy gets back from his run,” you answer her, squatting in front of her to smooth the wrinkles from the fabric of her dress. “I made yours with choco-chips.”

Her eyes go wide and you feel a little sunbeam shining directly on your heart, warming your chest. She grabs you by the cheeks, palms squishing your lips together, “You can’t tell daddy!”

“Oh, I won’t,” you promise, voice distorted from the way she has you in her grasp. You brush a hand through her silver curls, tucking the strands away from her face. “Your secret is safe with me.”

“Don’t tell daddy what?”

Hana squeals, turning on her heels to sprint towards the garage door. She’s on Shouto’s leg in an instant, clutching him like her life depends on it. You stand back to your feet, brushing your thighs clean before turning back to the griddle to start another round of pancakes.

“We can’t tell you or else it won’t be a secret, duh!” Hana sticks her tongue out as she pokes Shouto’s leg, rolling her eyes like it should be obvious. “Look, Momma’s making pancakes!”

Todoroki looks across the room at you, eyes reminding you of colorful gems as they behold you. Every time you catch him staring at you, you swear it’s even more infatuated than the last, his love for you only growing as time passes.

“Is she?” He peels her from his leg to shift her into his arms, holding her securely against his side. Todoroki walks over to you, leaning into the counter so he’s close enough that you can reach him but far enough that he can’t burn Hana on the griddle.

“You’re back quicker than I expected,” you admit, pouring batter out onto the stovetop. You grab the spatula, prepared to flip once they look done enough, “Did you pull something?”

Shouto shakes his head, leaning forward to intercept you with a kiss to the lips, “I just missed you.”

“Ew, gross! Kissing means cooties!” Hana pushes your faces apart, a hand on your mouths as she dramatically lolls her tongue out of her mouth to prove her disgust.

You chuckle, leaning forward to brush her hair from her eyes again, tucking it behind her ear even though you know it will spring forward not long after. Your eyes flash from her to her father, watching the pride settle into his irises, solidifying them even more. A gentle touch of your hand to his bicep brings him back to you, gaze unwavering as he maps out the features of your face yet again, each time finding something new to behold.

“Well, that means you have time to shower before we eat,” you squeeze his arm and return to your station at the griddle, flipping the next set of pancakes. “I’ve still got to make eggs and bacon, and some hash browns for the princess.”

Hana is beaming, bright smile tugging on the strings of your heart, “Momma makes the best hash browns.”

Todoroki places her back down on the ground, patting her backside as a silent gesture to tell her to go play. She takes his hint, sprinting back into the living room to resume her tea party with a stuffed elephant and a Ken barbie doll.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You never-ooh.”

He’s got you by the neck with one hand, the other anchoring to your hip to hold you close. Todoroki melds your mouths together, the heat of his body quickening your pulse. He steps closer, knee between your thighs so you can feel the hard bulge pressing into the fabric of his running shorts.

You hum as he parts from you, pancakes momentarily forgotten in the wake of his affections. You pat your hands on his chest, gnawing on your lower lip, “Smooth one, Todoroki.”

Shouto pinches your hip, growing smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth, “You. Me. Nap time.”

“Oh?” you ask as he unwinds himself from you, nudging your body back towards the griddle.

“And I’m not talking about sleeping.”

Todoroki disappears from around the corner, slipping up the stairs to your now shared bedroom.

You can’t help the laugh that bubbles from your lips. When you go to turn this set of pancakes, the diamond sitting on your left hand catches the luminescent lights of the kitchen and you marvel at it. You roll your ring around on your finger, trying to find a different angle to appreciate it from, but you’ve already memorized the shape of it after three years of marriage.

Your palm finds the gentle swell of your navel beneath the baggy t-shirt you’re wearing, one of Shouto’s early proofs for a new merchandise design. You bite your lip and look down, speaking to the rustling new life currently blooming in your belly, “Here’s to tomorrow, little one. May it always be just a little better than today.”

The pancakes are done and the bacon is sizzling when Shouto returns with damp hair and a pair of sweats on the lower half of his body. He curls an arm around you from behind, kissing your shoulder, “Smells good, love.”

You turn to offer him a kiss, which he takes with fervor. Hana voices her disgust from her seat at the table, but Shouto hushes her quickly with a playful rise of his eyebrow, pointed finger making her giggle.

The three of you are sat down to breakfast, just like any other Saturday, but this one feels special for some reason. You can’t quite make it out; maybe it’s the sun shining outside or the crisp breeze blowing through the open windows, but your soul is settled in a way that can only be achieved by utter bliss.

“Hey,” Shouto calls you from your stupor, “your choco-chip pancakes are going cold.”

You blink slowly, returning your gaze to him, a gentle smile on your face.

At least you’ll get to spend the rest of your life with someone as mindful and kind as Todoroki Shouto.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

taglist: @bakugous-forehead @kamehamethot @burnedbyshoto @rivendell101 @cookies-n-chaos @katsukisprincess @rat-suki @bitchtrynafck @bnhatrashh @succulent-momma @multifandom-fanfic @that-one-enthusiast @blue-peach14 @pastel-prynce @bokunokangae @shoutodoki @todorki-shoto @bakuoushoe @1-800-callmekatsuki @tenyaingenium @lxvely-mha @myherorambles @ramen-rambles @honeytama @sleepysuneater @bratwritings @samanthaa-leanne @orokayagi @whats-her-quirk @riotfuckery @sunbeamwrites @bnhawritten @aizawamirite @lovekatsukibakugo @suckersuki @secondhand-trash @yaoyorozuwrites @kingtamakimurder

#todoroki x reader #shouto x reader #todoroki shouto x reader #todoroki smut #todoroki shouto smut #bnha x reader #todoroki fanfic #todoroki one shot #todoroki fanfiction #shouto fanfic #shouto fanfiction #shouto one shot #morgan writes bnha #my writing

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iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid · 3 years ago

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remember when i said i was gonna write a "hawks gets stuck in a time loop" fic? well i'm like 99% sure i'm never gonna finish it, but i really liked this particular scene so here y'all go

platonic endhawks, mention of not-so-platonic dabihawks, mention of typical time loop angst, 1500 words of just the most self-indulgent h/c i've ever written. i go apeshit for mid-redemption-arc father figure endeavor, if you can't tell

To say what Hawks is expecting after his outburst wouldn’t really be accurate, since he’s not really thinking clearly enough to expect anything at all.

Honestly, he doesn’t give two shits. What does it matter? What does it matter if he just says screw it and blows up every relationship he has? What does it matter if Endeavor now thinks he’s lost every last shred of his sanity—and fuck it, maybe he has—if all of this is just gonna reset in a few days’ time?

At this point, what the fuck does it matter?

He’s still gonna have to have to watch Endeavor die over and over and over again. Same with Dabi. Same with who knows how many others. Rumi. Jeanist. Twice. Tsukuyomi. Shouto, and the rest of Endeavor’s kids. No matter what he does, this still ends with people he cares about in the ground. A knife in the back. A gaping scorched hole where vital organs should be. A whole body—a whole person, drained of all its blood or reduced to nothing but a pile of ashes.

He’s too busy thinking about how long he’s gonna be stuck watching this horror show over and over and over again to even begin to think straight. He’s exhausted. He’s done. Or, you know, he would be done. If he had that option.

So no, he’s not expecting anything.

But if he had been expecting anything, it sure as hell wouldn’t have been this: Endeavor, carefully and silently stepping up to where Hawks is sitting, leaning back against the opposite wall, and then sliding down until he’s sitting, too. The space is narrow; Endeavor’s boots are nearly touching the wall to Hawks’ right, until he pulls his knees up.

Then, calmly, so fucking bizarrely calmly, he asks, “How many times?”

Hawks blinks.

“I— what?”

“How many times have you…” Endeavor starts to say, then makes a vague gesture with one hand that might be meant to indicate the time loop, “… been through all this?”

Hawks stares at him for longer than is probably strictly reasonable, but, well, sue him. The question isn’t reasonable. It doesn’t make any sense, not unless—

“You believe me.”

Endeavor nods.

“You…” Hawks gulps. “You don’t think I’m insane.”

Because that’s— well, that’s insane.

“You’re a lot of things, Hawks, but insane isn’t one of them,” Endeavor says, and there’s nothing but open frankness on his face. “How many times?”

The lump in his throat swells a bit. Hawks swallows it down.

“I don’t know,” he admits. “I lost count.”

“So guess.”

Hawks huffs. “I— I don’t know. Fifty? Sixty?”

“Jesus.” Endeavor tips his head back against the wall, evidently letting that answer settle while he thinks. Then he says, “Alright. Catch me up, then. Where are you when it resets? How far back does it take you?”

“I— I don’t—” Hawks stammers then shakes his head. “What do you mean, how far back—? Catch you up? Endeavor, how the hell are you so calm about this? Why do you—? Why do you believe me?”

Endeavor frowns at him, and at least that’s something that makes sense, at least now he’s sort of looking at Hawks like he’s almost as insane as he sounds.

“Hawks,” he says, again so goddamn calm. “Why would I not believe you?”

“Because this is insane!”

“Yes, but so are a lot of things we deal with on a daily basis,” Endeavor reminds him. “This could be the work of someone with a strange Quirk we’ve never heard of. It’s not so insane that it’s impossible.”

He says that so casually, just posits a perfectly reasonable explanation to the thing that’s been torturing Hawks for fucking months, that for a second he thinks he might faint. Right here and right now.

Endeavor’s frown shifts, a crease deepening between his brows, and he asks, “Do I usually not believe you when you tell me?”

Hawks opens his mouth, then shuts it.

That is somehow all it takes for Endeavor to come to the right conclusion.

“This is… the first time you’ve told me,” Endeavor says, nodding to himself. “Well. I suppose that explains a lot. Even if it is mind-blowingly short sighted. But— Hawks, is this the first time you’ve told anyone? At all?”

Again, Hawks’ lack of an answer is all the answer he needs.

Endeavor sighs, and it’s a world-weary sort of sigh, an I-can’t-believe-this sort of sigh that suddenly makes Hawks feel very, very, very young. Like a useless little fucking kid, lost and scared and clutching a raggedy old plushie to his chest. Endeavor—the real Endeavor, the real deal, his coworker, his somewhat too human hero, the horribly shitty father to a guy he may or may not be in love with, and his friend somehow in spite of all of it—tilts his head to the side and massages his forehead for a second, and then he asks, “You’ve been through this, what? Fifty, sixty times? And it never once occurred to you, in all this time, to ask someone for help?”

He drops his hand and levels Hawks with an annoyed stare.

Hawks gulps down the lump in his throat, again, which doesn’t do much to steady his voice or hide how close he is to breaking down, again, but he manages to croak, “I’m, uh… I’m not too good at that, big guy. Never have been.”

Endeavor looks at him for a second, and then he nods. “Alright. Well, since you refuse to ask, I’m offering it anyway. What can I do to help?”

What can he—?

Hawks gulps for the third time. He thinks of— what was it, forty loops ago, or thirty-something, the first loop where he’d lost Endeavor, the first time Hawks had to watch him get burned down to smoldering bits of bone. He’d been trying to protect Hawks that time, planting his comparably more fireproof body between Hawks and Dabi, only to vastly underestimate exactly how hot Dabi’s flames could get. And then a few loops after that, when Hawks fucked up the timestream and Toga somehow got to Endeavor first, and he’d long since gone cold by the time Hawks found him. And then there’s the time that Hawks can barely stand remembering at all, the time Dabi managed to burn the whole Todoroki home down to cinders with Natsuo and Fuyumi and Rei inside, the time when all the fight seemed to drain right out of Endeavor, when Dabi had said, ah, come on, old man, you’re sucking all the fun out of this, at least fight back, before—

“Um,” Hawks says, squeezing his eyes shut and shoving the thought as far to the back of his mind as it’ll go. He’s shaking, and it’s annoying, because he can’t get it to stop.

What can I do to help?

“I— Can I, uh… Can I just—?” Hawks asks, pointing toward the spot on the wall opposite himself, right beside where Endeavor’s sitting.

Endeavor raises an eyebrow before his meaning seems to catch on, and then, without a word, he gestures with a tilt of his head, indicating the same spot. Hawks scrambles up, tucking his wings in close as he spins around and plants himself side-by-side with Endeavor instead. His right wing extends out as far as it needs to, while the left curls up, cramped between his back and Endeavor’s ribs as Hawks hunches forward and wraps his arms around his knees. The heat of Endeavor’s Quirk, even powered down as it is, tingles through his feathers. Because he’s alive. Alive and not burnt to ash, alive and not drained to empty, alive and not willingly and brokenly stepping right into death.

And then Endeavor lifts his arm up, and something about the warm weight of his arm falling over Hawks’ shoulders just— It fucking cracks something in half somewhere in the middle of his chest. He ducks his head down against his knees and tangles a hand in his hair, trying and failing to stop the hiccupping sob that shakes its way through him, and Endeavor…

Endeavor, shockingly, doesn’t tell him to pull it together. He doesn’t tell him that heroes are supposed to be, like, unbreakable symbols or pillars of strength or whatever the hell other kind of bullshit Hawks might have expected from him.

Instead, as Hawks wriggles his left wing out so it curls around Endeavor’s back, Endeavor sighs for maybe the millionth time, and he tightens his arm around Hawks’ shoulders, and he drops his chin on top of Hawks’ head, and he moves his hand slowly up and down Hawks’ upper arm. That’s it. Not a hug, not exactly, but something close to it, while Hawks maybe breaks down a little bit, and while he lets himself believe, for at least a few seconds, that he’s actually safe from all this, that as long as he’s under the arm of the Number One Hero then there’s not a force on Earth that can touch him. Not the League, not the Commission, not whatever godawful shit’s been throwing him back through these time loops over and over and over again. Not a single fucking thing.

“It’s alright,” Endeavor says, his voice reverberating through Hawks’ bones. Like it’s that simple. “It’s alright. We’ll figure this out.”

And, for at least a few seconds, Hawks lets himself believes that, too.

#uh. do i tag this as endhawks? probably not right? i never know how to specify the & vs / when it's a portmandeau #endeavor #hawks #enji todoroki #bnha #if i ever do finish this then whatever you guys got a preview lol #but i gotta be honest the odds are. quite slim given that i don't have a beginning or an end #or even much of a middle lmao #OH WAIT #manga spoilers #hoo buddy i always forget to tag that for the whole dabi thing

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szivtalan · 3 years ago

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otp questions for endhawks.........will u kick me if i'm greedy and say ALL OF THE NUMBERS

I WILL NOT but this might take a while tho!!!!

1. Who is the most affectionate?

hawks is more physically affectionate - he'll link their arms together, cuddle to enji's side in public, climb in his lap when they're home, hold his hand, initiate kisses more. but it's enji that people notice sending fond looks for his boyfriend so many times it becomes embarrassing - tabloids will have a whole article on endeavor's "heart eyes" ("my eyes are not hearts" enji frowns at the magazine in hawks' hands, who just shrugs and grins "seems like they are for me") so i would say, deep down the big man's a softie too

2. Big spoon/Little spoon?

enji/hawks. unless enji has a nightmare, because in that case, hawks is more than happy to be his lil jetpack.

3. Most common argument?

ah they fight about the most useless things but one of my favorites that must come up often is enji thinking that hawks deserves better than him, and hawks insisting that he's everything he ever wanted.

4. Favorite non-sexual activity?

kicking villain ass and family dinners. hawks likes to eat, and enji likes to eat with his loved ones all in one place. he wonders why hawks gets along so well with his children, and then he realizes - he forgot (again) how insanely young hawks is, and that he's merely a few years older than his youngest son, too. ngl natsuo glares daggers at his old man for having a boyfriend half his age ahahaha

5. Who is most likely to carry the other?

given that enji could swing hawks around like a yo-yo, i think it's him ADJGSGH

6. What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

hawks likes everything about enji. he's really into his body, but also his dry sarcasm, his occasional goofy jokes, and most of all, his heart. hawks will watch enji kneel down to a couple of children at a battlefield, his own face and hands dripping with blood, grunt out "are you alright, kiddos? come here, i'll get you somewhere safe" and see him do exactly that, scoop the kids up in his arms and carry them on shaking legs that could barely keep himself up, and then he will see him let his eldest burn the world, his second eldest scream at his face, his youngest treat him like dirt and know that he still cares so deeply for them, know that he loves them and wants the best for them and if the best is torment their father until he dies or worse, he'll let them without so much as a complaint.

enji, on the other hand, loves how easily hawks can lift the mood. he's learned to see through facades, and he'll call him out if he senses that it's hurting hawks to put on a mask, but hawks joking around and mouthing off makes our atlas feel like the weight of the world is a little lighter that day. he loves him for how driven he is, how graceful and hard-working and focused he seems in a fight, and thinks about how those traits were most important to him in the past but now he can see hawks use them to create a world where they can rest, and he realizes... that's not so bad an idea after all.

7. What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

enji speeds up the process of divorcing his wife lol. also he becomes more nervous around hawks, because shit, he likes him too, but he shouldn't be liked, why does hawks even like him? when hawks learns that enji likes him too, he gets shamelessly flirty. he doesn't make a move, of course - enji is still a married man, but he'll laugh at his nervousness, play with his own hair for enji's viewing pleasure and send suggestive winks his way like the damn tease he is.

8. Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate?

enji calling hawks birdie is pretty obvious. hawks alternates every petname imaginable for enji when he learns that he's never been called one (he figures it out when he jokingly calls him darling once and enji blushes to the roots of his hair), his favorite is "sweetheart" and "baby". enji also calls hawks his angel, but only when he's being very soft for him

9. Who worries the most?

i mean..... both? enji tends to worry more for hawks' safety and hawks worries more for the crushing guilt enji lives with.

10. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

hawks - claims he does, but the truth is, he says a different thing each time and enji's happy to try new things as long as hawks will beam at him proudly after ordering

11. Who tops?

depends. they both do. enji topped more at the beginning because hawks was really into it and he was kinda insecure about asking for anything else, but hawks once offered and found out that he has a delicious bottom bitch on his hands.

12. Who initiates kisses?

hawks. height difference doesn't really matter when you have wings to fly up to your boyfriend's face and kiss him stupid

13. Who reaches for the other’s hand first?

enji does. he wants to feel that hawks is by his side all the time, safe and sound.

14. Who kisses the hardest?

again, enji. his kisses get desperate, his hands rough. his temperature goes up despite his will and he just wants hawks to melt against him

15. Who wakes up first?

enji does! he's used to working out in the early morning before going to work

16. Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

hawks does!! deep down he's still a rebellious lazy teen and whenever he has a day off, he likes to sleep until 12. he swears he considers breaking up with enji the first time the man wakes him up at 6 to ask if he wants to come work out with him

17. Who says I love you first?

surprisingly, enji does. hawks is way too protective of his own feelings to let them flow out so soon, but enji is desperate, he wants hawks by his side for ever, and the first time he says it is the first time he realizes it's true. they're out eating dinner one day, and enji watches hawks chew around the food in his mouth, downing chicken like his life depended on it, and he watches the last rays of sunlight hit his golden hair, his golden eye, paint his wings blood red, and he knows he hasn't seen anything more perfect than that sight. he tells him he loves him, and hawks laughs so much he almost chokes on food. "pretty fucked up to tell me that while i'm deepthroating yakitori" he tells him, giggling

18. Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?)

hawks!!! it usually says cheesy things like "good luck at work, endeavor-san!" or "don't forget to eat ur vegetables!" when there are zero vegetables in the lunches hawks packs for him

19. Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first?

i mean hawks doesn't have much connection to his family, or has many friends, but enji is kind of pressed to tell his family all about his relationship since, you know. the news would reach them sooner or later anyway

20. What do their family/friends think of their relationship?

mirko is THRILLED that hawks is dating endeavor. the todoroki family, i mean.... shoto is confused, natsuo is mad, fuyumi and rei are both supportive and say they both want the best for enji. but mostly they just all think that he's really. Really young lol

21. Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?

hawks!!! he likes to dance around the kitchen while enji is cooking or doing the dishes, and sometimes manages to seduce enji into his arms too.

22. Who cooks more/who is better at cooking?

hawks is a better cook, but he never tells enji about that. he just lets him suffer and teach himself how to cook because it's so much fun

23. Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?

hawks, but he says nothing he would ever say can beat enji calling him his angel. that's the cheesiest it can get, and it's also only because of his wings, like shut up enji omg that's so embarrassing

24. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

hawks gets bored on important meetings. then he looks over to enji in a suit and gets horny. one of his favorite hobbies is watching enji squirm and struggle to keep it together after he's stroked his thigh under the table and whispered filth in his ear

25. Who needs more assurance?

enji does. he really, honestly thinks he doesn't deserve the love hawks has for him.

26. What would be their theme song?

my dude every song on ur playlist could be but this one in particular takes the cake for real

27. Who would sing to their child back to sleep?

in an au where enji's kids are still kids instead of grown adults, hawks would definitely read to them (sometimes legit tales, sometimes just colored-up and censored versions of their dad's missions) and cuddle them to sleep while he hums to them softly. in a non-au, enji catches him with shoto sleeping all wrapped up in his arms and wings, right after comforting him when he had a nightmare, trying to keep awake but slowly dozing off holding enji's youngest, most precious son, and enji kind of falls in love a lot more.

28. What do they do when they’re away from each other?

text, call, videochat. hawks makes a show of wearing some of enji's clothes, but really, you can't keep these assholes away from each other.

29. one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart

enji will never think he deserves to have hawks by his side

30. one headcanon about this OTP that mends it

hawks will never grow tired of showing enji how much he deserves him.

#ask and i shall answer #paradox-of-retaliation #thank YOU fuck my fingers hurt #this was a LOT but i loved it ty #endhawks #bnha #anime

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inkykeiji · 3 years ago

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Hi Clari!!! I hope you're doing well and had an amazing weekend! I'm sorry if you've already answered something like this before! 😊

I was having big thoughts about the twins, but then I couldn't remember if you'd mentioned the other Todoroki siblings existing in this AU!?!

You may have done and I just missed it, but if the other siblings already do, and if not, did exist in the AU, what would the twins relationship be like with them?

I can imagine Touya being the more approachable of the two, I feel he'd click quite well with Fuyumi perhaps? They both give me those sort of caregiver vibes 😅

Natsuo and Dabi I can imagine being close, not quite as close as in the Touya - Nii series, but I can still imagine Natsuo looking up to both his big brothers because they're so cool! (Dabi is just that smidge cooler to him though 😌)

Would Shoto still be Enji's perfect poster boy, or would Touya have taken that spot?

Would the twins be open to sharing the reader with Natsuo like Touya-Nii did in the Snowman and Me series? Or is it strictly something kept between the twins?

Do the Todoroki family know about the reader and the twins relationship? Do they approve?

There are just too many thoughts for my one track mind 😩😌

It'd be really interesting to know your take! --- The anon who dreamt about living with Dabi on a ranch 🐥

hello sweetpea!!!! oh you’re so lovely <33 thank you bb i hope you had a wonderful weekend as well!!! <3

BUT ANONNNN I AM SHOUTING HAHAHAHA oh my gosh okay first of all you and i have got to be on the same wavelength today bb hehehe because i haven’t mentioned their relationship with the other todoroki siblings much on my blog but i do have (and have had) their relationships with each mapped out in my notebook for months now and i was literally looking it over when you sent this in!! <33

AH SO MANY GOOD QUESTIONS LET’S GET INTO IT WEEEEEEE <3

so first i’m going to link you to this post (which kinda just delves into their relationship with each other but touches upon other relationships in the family) and this post (which discusses dabi’s reaction to yelling and touches upon his trauma related to enji; pls heed the tws!!) but to reiterate and all that:

twin!touya pretty much gets along with all of his siblings in some way. he’s the perfect model of an older brother. as i mentioned in the first post linked above, touya is just really good at playing the part. twin!dabi, on the other hand, barely gets along with anyone other than his twin. he’s extremely difficult to be around about 97% of the time.

natsuo definitely does think both of his older brothers are super super cool, and he follows them around like a puppy when they’ll let him, but he’s actually closer to twin!touya than he is to twin!dabi, simply because twin!dabi won’t let him get too close; dabi’s extreme trust issues get in the way. still, natsuo was the only one there for dabi when touya had been taken from him, and that forged quite a lasting and deep bond, even if it terrifies dabi to this day, even if dabi tries his very hardest to shove natsuo away because of it, even if it’s still extremely complex; a jumbled, tangled mess in his heart. but natsuo understands, and he’s nothing if not resilient, so he kinda just bounces back from it each and every time. but twin!touya has a special soft spot for natsuo, because natsuo was there to take care of his baby twin brother when he wasn’t, and to touya, that means the whole world to him <3 touya hopes that one day his twin will let his guard down enough to let natsuo into his heart, too.

fuyumi is incredibly suspicious of twin!touya. she’s smart as a whip, just like he is, and she can read him like a book and knows when he’s up to something; and he’s always up to something. all she wants is for her family to get along, for god’s sake, and she knows touya’s a threat to that, because he knows how ridiculously manipulative he is, and how he’s planning something against their father—fuyumi is the only of the todoroki siblings that actually has sympathy for their father. thus, even though touya has told her time and again not to worry about it, that everyone will be happy in the end, she knows ‘the end’ does not include their father in any way, shape, or form. still, with that being said, they get along quite well, and they’re constantly throwing teasing quips each other’s way <3 when it comes to twin!dabi, fuyumi’s heart positively breaks for him. he shoves her away, too, because he doesn’t know how to deal with her overwhelming love, but that does not deter her in the slightest. she was there, she witnessed what happened to him, she helped natsuo take care of him in every way she could; in fact, fuyumi took care of that entire family after her mother left. but she has such a soft spot for twin!dabi in her heart, a special type of unconditional love and sympathy for him, and she’ll always be there for him, no matter how many callous insults he spits her way. she views him akin to a terrified animal, and she understands why he lashes out, and sometimes—very rarely, but sometimes—he will let her take him into her arms and hold him, hug him, shush him. she was pretty much the mother he never had for those years when he was without his twin, even though she’s a little younger than he is. so there’s a very interesting, very complex bond there as well.

shouto loves both of his eldest brothers so much. twin!touya loves him back, thinks he’s an absolutely brilliant kid and such a kind, beautiful soul, but he can’t help but feel some resentment towards him; residual feelings that have been transferred from his twin to him. still, he tries to bury them, because he knows none of this is actually shouto’s fault, and that their father is the true villain here, the true one to blame. as i mentioned in the first post linked above, twin!dabi hates shouto with a fierce passion, because he feels betrayed for his twin, betrayed by the way their father so quickly found an (inferior, in his opinion) replacement for touya—to mold into the perfect puppet—and he himself feels a little slighted, too, angry and offended that their father didn’t even try to mold him in replacement of his twin and just went straight to the next ‘perfect’ child, because twin!dabi was too much work, he’s sure. shouto is terrified of dabi, but he looks up to touya with absolute stars in his eyes <3

rei feels incredibly guilty. she likes to pretend that she doesn’t know why she took only twin!touya when she really should’ve taken them both, and will regret for the rest of her life seperating the two of them for a few years. it was incredibly selfish of her, to snatch touya up only because she knew it would hurt her husband the most, and to leave twin!dabi and the rest of her children there with such a brute for a father. dabi hates her for it, and she doesn’t blame him. she hopes one day he can find it in his heart to forgive her for such a horrible mistake, but she knows it’s a slim possibility. she is very, very close to twin!touya though.

i have already touched upon their relationship with enji in the posts linked above, but basically twin!touya IS still enji’s favourite, and enji only latched onto shouto after rei took touya away (during the divorce). touya is still first in line for the family business, and shouto acts as more or less of a back-up, in case touya fails. he’s also easier to control, which is quite appealing to enji, too.

and then, as you can tell, the twins themselves have a very, very unhealthy codependency on each other; they can barely function without one another now <3

ANYWAY LOVELY, THOSE ARE THEIR RELATIONSHIPS WITH THE SIBLINGS + THEIR PARENTS!!! to answer your last few questions:

would the twins be open to sharing the reader with natsuo like touya-nii did in the snowman and me series? or is it strictly something kept between the twins?

no, they absolutely would not share her with natsuo, this is something very special and sacred and kept strictly between them <3

do the todoroki family know about the reader and the twins relationship? do they approve?

EHEHEHEHE this is something i’m really really looking forward to exploring in the future of the series!!! because the angst potential is totally insane hehe <3 the answer is, it’s extremely complicated. enji doesn’t approve at all. like, at ALL. he hates to think what the press would think, if this ever got out, and he knows dabi would be more than willing to leak it; anything to hurt his father, right? natsuo thinks it’s SO awesome and super hot, fuyumi thinks it’s quite cute how they share everything, but worries for the poor sweet reader since she knows how her brothers can be, and shouto can’t even think about it without blushing and getting super embarrassed; he isn’t really sure what he thinks yet, but he feels like it’s more their business than his own. rei is on the fence; she wants her boys to be happy, but is this really the best and healthiest way to do it? does she even have a say in it at all? is it really her place or her right to step up and say something? she isn’t sure.

i hope this answers all of your questions bb!!!! thank you so much for asking aaaah i LOVE talking about stuff like this and i am super super excited to explore it deeper within the series!!!! AH EHEHE I REMEMBER U AND UR DREAM <3333 aw such a cute lil chick emoji 🥺🥺 i hope you’re doing wonderful my friend and i wish you many more touya dreams in the future <3

#SUCH GOOOOOOD QUESTIONS!!!! THANK U SO MUCH #SORRY MY POST IS SOOOOOO LONG HAHAHAHA i have pages upon pages of this in my journal so i tried to condense it and not give too much away <3 #i just wanted to capture the essence of each relationship and let u know <3 #if u have anymore questions pls let me know!!!!#have an amazing week sweetpea!!! <33 #i am sending u lots n lots of love and health!! as always pls stay safe!!#inky.bb #FARMER TOUYA DREAMER #LMAO <333 #clari gets mail #inky.twins #todoroki twins dabi and touya

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sarahjtv · 4 years ago

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BNHA Chapter 301 Spoiler Thoughts: Pain, More Pain, Extra Pain, EVERYTHING HURTS

I had to wait until the summary for this chapter came out to get my thoughts across and holy shit, my dudes... This chapter is so, so deep and adds a lot more to the Todoroki family than I thought possible. I’m still thinking about all of it as I’m typing this. But, writing is how I process things sometimes, so I hope this helps all of us:

The chapter starts off with a flashback to when Enji (I’m calling Endeavor by his real name here so long as we’re dealing with his family) proposing to marry Rei to Rei and her family. Rei is aware of the whole “Quirk Marriage” thing, but she accepts the proposal much to her family’s delight. What’s surprising here is that it’s implied that Enji expected Rei to say “No”. I’m honestly kind of shocked here too.

One, I thought because of the whole eugenics thing that Rei and her family would be taken aback by this. Back in the Sports Fest. Arc, I believe Shoto implied the that Endeavor bought Rei’s hand in marriage with money (it’s been a LONG time, so please correct me on this if I’m wrong). But they were actually ok with the idea of having Rei be married to a top hero like Endeavor. Rei seemed more reluctant though the fact that she said “Yes” maybe implies that she had legitimate feelings of love for Enji before shit hit the fan.

Edit: Ok, the fan translations are out. It’s said that Rei did this for the sake of her family. I still think she at least started to have legit feelings of love for Enji at some point.

Two, Enji didn’t expect Rei to accept his proposal. We all know that Enji’s intention was to have a kid that had a Quirk that possessed both fire and ice so that the kid could surpass All Might. Maybe Enji was looking for other women with ice Quirks before Rei and all of them before her turned him down. So when Rei accepted, Enji was shocked that someone agreed to what was basically his plan for the future.

The next page shows Enji and Rei on a walk in the park Rei looks at her favorite flowers and Enji asks if she likes them to which Rei says “yes”. Enji comments on how strong yet fragile Rei is. It’s such a small scene, but it tells the story so well visually. I can’t explain it well here, but I think this is where Enji started to see Rei as more of a person to love than something that can help achieve his goal.

Back to the present real quick, we go back to Rei confronting Enji. She came to see him because things are not okay and they need to face their family’s tragedy head on. At the same time, Dabi is reflecting on his life and doing his iconic monologuing about how he loved seeing Enji suffer. He wants the rest of his family to see how he suffered too. This further establishes how much Dabi wants to see his father be destroyed mentally. He wants him to reap everything he sewed. I’ll be damned if Dabi’s plan didn’t work. Also, Dabi is shown crying blood again as the panel transitions to the Todoroki household with the blood tear seeping into the next panel. God, I love Horikoshi’s panel structuring A+ stuff.

Back to the past, Enji stopped training little Touya. His fire Quirk was getting stronger, but so was the ice part of his body. Touya’s body was meant for the cold, but his fire Quirk counteracts that. So, Touya’s ultimately harming himself. This reveals to us that Enji didn’t really stop training Touya because he wasn’t the “perfect specimen” for his plan. It was mainly because Enji cared about Touya enough that he didn’t want his son to harm himself anymore than he already has. Enji abused his kids and wife, sure, but he wasn’t always a bad man. He did love his family before something snapped.

Also, real quick, but there’s a panel that shows Touya’s hair getting progressively whiter. Specifically the left side of his head. He looks like the opposite of Shoto actually and I bet you money that that was done on purpose. Symbolism, my friends.

The next panels shows little Touya and Fuyumi (AWWW 🤍) talking a bit. Touya’s upset that their dad won’t train him anymore while Fuyumi just doesn’t want her brother to get hurt. Touya says that girls wouldn’t understand (he’s a kid here, so I’ll let this slide). It hurts to see how Touya misunderstand the situation here. I think he ultimately wanted to have love and acceptance from his father via training to make Enji proud. But training only caused Touya pain. Pushing Touya away for his own safety ended up making things worse.

I actually can’t describe what happens next (I've seen the panel, but it hasn’t been translated fully yet), but it has something to do with Rei trying to convince Enji not to do something in particular because it would be too cruel. Touya continued to train alone and he kept getting scars on his skin every day because his ambitions are just as strong as Enji’s. He didn’t know when to give up. In the end, Enji knew that Touya couldn’t surpass All Might and he tried to get Touya to give up his ambitions so that he would stop hurting himself. I think this is where Enji’s drive to have a kid to surpass All Might started to take over his love for his family. I want to comment more on this part, but I think I’ll have to wait until the full chapter comes out. I’ll add an edit when I read it. It’s a painful, sad page regardless and I want to cry 😢.

Edit: Ok, I’ve read the translations for this page and it’s still not entirely clear what “cruel idea” Rei and Enji are talking about here. The best I can take I can think from this is that Enji did think that having more kids would solve the problem; it would help Touya give up the idea of surpassing All Might. The panels get darker and darker too, which shows how dark all this has become.

Next, Natsuo is born and he was so ADORABLE!!! 💙 Fuyumi looked so happy to have a little brother ❤️ But, Touya looks devastated; like he’s been replaced again. My heart hurts so bad for this kid. All he wanted was his father’s attention, but Enji seemed to have moved on from him and had more kids instead. Almost like having more kids would solve the problem... ugh...

As time goes on, Enji gets angrier at All Might’s success (btw, seeing All Might drawn in his buff form again makes me nostalgic) and Rei becomes more fearful. The summary states that Rei stopped “looking” at Enji at some point. I think this is the point where Enji drive to create a perfect child completely took over his life and his family’s lives. Even so, I think we need an explanation of when exactly Enji snapped and changed into the abusive man we all knew and how that exactly came to be. We got hints in this chapter, but I think we need a full explanation.

AND SHOTO WAS BORN HE WAS BABY 💙🥺😭 Crying into the world he came into like most newborns do. I want to love him and take care of him 💙💙💙 Look, Shoto’s my favorite character in the series and we need some good vibes in this depressing chapter, so please let me have this.

But, my god. The faces on Enji, Rei, and Touya are haunting. I honestly can’t really describe it. It’s just so unsettling. Enji looks like he’s glad he’s finally “created” the perfect child, Rei looks exhausted, and Touya is even more devastated than before. The panel lines are all distorted too which drives the mood home.

Touya continues to train on his own to prove himself to his father. He’s burning himself more and he looks like he’s loosing his mind. I’m not exaggerating; Touya actually looks like he’s going crazy. Enji is tying to convince Touya that they’re more to the world than being a hero like playing with his siblings and making friends at school. But, Touya can’t because, as he says, “I’m your son”. Despite Enji probably focusing primarily on getting ready to train Shoto at this point, he still cared enough about Touya to where he wanted him to have a life outside of heroism. Though that could also be because, again, he’s turned his focus on Shoto instead (this family is a mess). And Touya being so driven to have his father pay attention to him is heartbreaking. No kid should have to go through this.

And then he activates his Quirk to attack baby Shoto. Lil’ Fuyumi’s protecting Lil’ Natsuo and Rei is holding onto Lil’ Shoto 😭. Rei wants to help cool him down with her Quirk, but Touya “fire” Enji lit can’t be put out. Touya’s too far gone. He even stops calling Enji “father”; he says “look at me, Endeavor” instead. Everything about this makes me sad, man. Touya’s love for his father turned into what he thought was abandonment, which turned into mad jealousy for his baby brother. Though Enji did light Touya’s fire, it was Touya himself who ultimately drove himself insane. Touya helped create Dabi, it wasn’t all Enji Todoroki’s doing.

And finally, the flashback ends with Rei stating that Enji isn’t the only who’s suffered, but he’s also not the only one who didn’t look at Touya. This implies that Rei shares the blame for letting Touya turn into Dabi. I do wonder what Rei didn’t do that helped Touya’s transformation. I doubt she neglected him entirely, but maybe she wasn’t paying attention to him as much because of her other kids and her declining mental state. I can’t comment on this very much with the lack of details, but i do hope things get answered soon.

Edit: I’ve thought about this a bit more. Rei was/is a good mother and she’s a badass in her own right. She never meant to harm her kids. But, based on that dark panel before about Enji thinking of a way to get Touya to give up the idea of being a hero, Rei did agree to Enji’s plan in the end. She decided to have more kids with him until they got the perfect child in Shoto. Why did she agree, we don’t know. That detail isn’t there just yet. I bet we’ll get it in Pt. 2. Again, Rei isn’t a bad person, but she did play a part in Touya’s downfall. Which, of course, makes things all the more sad.

Lastly, it’s stated that Rei came from a prestigious and noble family called Himura. It’s a small detail, but it’s shows that Shoto and his siblings basically came from royalty. Ha, Shoto really is a prince 👑! It would explain those damn good Todoroki genes 😳😍. Oh, and the kanji for “Hi” in Himura means icicle, ice, hail, freeze, etc. so Horikoshi’s playing with names again.

Quick Edit: Turns out this part with Rei’s maiden name is actually at the VERY BEGINNING of the chapter LOL. Either the image leaks got scrambled or the summary found this panel last. Whoops...

Hoo boy, I think that’s it. Really heavy chapter full of more layers and details about the Todoroki family that we didn’t get before. This is honestly one of the best storylines in the series and I’m so glad to see it come back to the forefront again. Horikoshi has handled this particular story so, so damn well I can’t help but be impressed. I think, ultimately, the Todoroki family fell apart and became more and more tragic over time. Amazingly, it wasn’t entirely Enji’s fault like we originally thought. Yes, he was a big reason as to why everything happened the way it did. His redemption does not excuse his years of abuse and neglect towards Shoto, Rei, and Touya especially. But, Touya and maybe even Rei had a part in this. I hope whatever Rei did or didn’t do isn’t so bad that we immediately put her into a bad light. I hope it boils down to “she’s human”. Though, Touya did ultimately drive himself to insanity. He didn’t accept his father’s suggestion to stop training. He only pushed himself further to the point of jealousy. God, he tried to kill baby Shoto at one point. We can dissect this family’s story for months and still find something new. This chapter was called “Mischief of Fire - Part 1″ which means we’re definitely getting more. I’m going to sit here and process all this in the meantime. Anyone got any ice cream to go with my tears and pain from BNHA angst?

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ssatoritendou · 4 years ago

Text

Skating Into Your Heart

Pairing: Todoroki /reader

Shoto Todoroki

Word count: 1.5k

+ summary: Todoroki wants to get you something amazing for Valentines Day. You had absolutely nothing to get for him. Luckily your friends are there to help you both out.

Genre: fluff

Warning: none

"Todoroki is something on your mind?" Midoriya said to the icy hero during lunch. "It's nothing Midoriya. I don't know what to get ____ for Valentine's Day. She is so great at giving presents. Is it wrong to be jealous?" "Not at all Todoroki," Uraraka reassured him. "Maybe you could plan a date for the two of you," Midoriya suggested. "You can take her to the ice skating rink. They are having a Valentine's Day special. My dad is helping set it up. The rink is supposed to be set up as a heart. Maybe I can ask my dad if he could arrange for just you two. He friends with the owner," Uraraka smiled at him. "You could do that?" "Yes, Todoroki. We are friends." "Thanks, I owe you one. Just let me know the details. I'll set up the dinner." "Hey, guys what are we talking about?" You said from behind them before sitting down. "N-Nothing really important!" Midoriya yelled at you.

"Um, ok. I'm sorry that I asked." You said lowly. "I'm s-sorry I raised my voice." Midoriya tried to regain control of his voice. "It's fine Izuku." "We were talking about the hero license exams," Uraraka said. "Oh, ok. I'm kind of nervous about them. Mr. Aizawa and All Might are pushing us really hard to do our best. But I fear that I won't earn my licenses like the rest of you guys." "____ of all people in our class you are definitely going to get your license. You are smart, kind, tough, strong, and powerful. There's no way you won't pass." Todoroki placed a light kiss on your cheek. He noticed your cheeks turn a little pink."S-Shoto you really didn't have to say those things." "Of course I did. I love you." Now your face was all red. "I-I love you too Shoto." You said under your breath.

"Todoroki! Here is the address of the ice skating rink and the extra key to the rink. You guys can go on Friday before they take it down." "Friday? But that is the day after Valentine's Day?" "I know Todoroki but she'll like it. Would you rather go when there are a bunch of people there?" "No. I want it to be nice and intimate. Hopefully, she won't be disappointed." He said rubbing his head. "Thank you again." He walked towards your room to ask you if you could do your Valentine's Day on Friday. "Hey ____ I was wondering-" "Shoto knock before entering. I have your Valentine's Day present in here." "Sorry, Sweetie." He covered his eyes. He heard you shuffling in the room. "Is it safe now?" "Yeah. What is it Shoto?" "Well, since Valentine's Day falls on a weekday and we have all of our school work, I was think we could move our plans to Friday." "Yes of course! Now leave so I can finish your present!” You rushed him out of your room. He smiled at you. "Bye Sho." You hopped up and kissed his cheek.

As soon as he left you, you slammed the door you were panicking. "Shit! Shit! He probably got an amazing gift and I have nothing." You sat down and huffed at your desk. "Perfect gift? Maybe if I call Fuyumi." You dialed his sister. "Hey, Fuyumi it's ___.” "Hey! What's up with you?" "I have no idea what to get Shoto and it's driving me insane." "I was going through some of our old photos to bring to our mom tomorrow and he was always carrying around this All Might action figure. But I think our father took it away. But I'll send you a picture maybe you can find one." "That would be so great thank you Fuyumi! You are a lifesaver!" She sent the picture. And you knew who to go to for the action figure. "Hey, Izuku." "____ is something wrong? It's kind of late." "Sort of. Listen I know you are huge All Might fan and I was wondering if you might have this action figure?" He grabbed your phone and examined the action figure in young Shoto's hand. "Uh yeah. I have like 4 of them." "Would it be too much to ask for one?" You asked nervously. Knowing that Izuku had an attachment to them. "It's for Shoto. I don't know what to get him for Valentine's Day. And by the look in Shoto's eyes, he has something special planned." "____ don't worry about it. I have like 5 more of these at home." He laughed. "Izuku thank you! I owe you one." You hurried back to your room and wrapped his present. You couldn't wait to see Shoto's face.

You got dressed in a pretty dress and put on the earrings Shoto got for you on your birthday. You walked down the stairs to see Shoto waiting for you. He held your coat out for you. "You look beautiful." "Thank you. So what are our plans for tonight?" "I'm going to take you to a nice restaurant and then I have a surprise for you." He said with a smile. You left the campus and went into the city. He took you to a very nice restaurant. You sat and talked about school and your plans for the weekend. "We can visit your Mom tomorrow? It's been a long time since I've seen her." "She does ask about you a lot. She has a picture of us in her room." "That is so sweet." "Yeah, she does love you. Like a second daughter." "Well, I'm glad one of your parents loves me." "Let's not talk about him." "I'm sorry." "You don't have to apologize. It doesn't matter what he thinks because I plan to marry you one day." "You what?" "I know that we are only in our first-year but I plan to marry you. I plan to love you forever." He grabbed your hand and pulled it into a kiss. "I love you too Shoto." He smiled. We finished dinner and left the restaurant. "So where are we going now?" "It is a surprise." "Well, I hope it's inside again. I'm cold." He pulled you into his chest. "It's not even that cold." "Of course you would say that. You are half cold and half hot. You can't get cold." "I'm sorry. It's outside but tonight we can cuddle all night. Now close your eyes." You lightly closed your eyes. He lead you to your next destination. "Open." He whispered into your ear. You opened to see the skating rink-shaped as a heart. "Oh my god, Shoto." "Uraraka's dad helped set it up and he was able to get the key for us. We can use it for the next 2 hours." "Shoto this-this is amazing. This is the best present. I can see you put a lot of thought into this." "I wanted to make up for the past presents that haven't compared to yours. Now let's start skating." "I have to be honest I'm not that good at skating. I haven't skated since I was a kid." "That's ok. I'll just hold onto to you." The both of you laced up the skates and he pulled you onto the ice. "You look so pretty." "Thank you again, Shoto." You kissed him. It was one of your sweeter kisses. You were wearing his favorite lip gloss. He swiped his tongue across your bottom lip asking for entrance. You gladly obliged. Once You pulled away from the tender kiss he had this look in his eye. "What?" "You remind me of something my mom used to say to me." "Oh, really what's that?" "After the rain falls there's always a rainbow. You are my rainbow ____. All my suffering has to lead me to you." "You really think that much of me?" "Yes and so much more." He smiled. You skated for a couple of hours You fell once. Shoto thought you hurt yourself but you started laughing and then he smirked. You put away the skates and left the rink and went back to the dorms. "Ok, now it's time for your present. Now, this was last minute it's not like my other gifts." "I'm sure it will still be great." You sat next to him on your bed and watched him open it. You watched as his gleam in excitement when he saw the All Might action figure that was familiar to the one he had as a child. "____ where did you get this? This must have been so expensive. It is an old doll from when we were kids-" "Shoto I got it from down the hall. Izuku has like 8 of them. He gave it to me." "We owe both Uraraka and Midoriya." "Hey, they like each other right? Maybe we can set them up on a date." "Hmm maybe. Come let's get some sleep." He pulled down the blankets and you got in and cuddle with him.

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drazzilder · 3 years ago

Text

A Hellish Encounter

By Drazzilder

Chapter 26: Public Eye

It has been a month since you left the hospital and it has been chaotic. As you were leaving, photographers and news outlets were all over you. Enji and Zaheer went a little overboard with their flames to protect you but you know they just wanted you to be safe. The media sometimes try to stop by the house but Zaheer scares them away. Zaheer can now leave and enter your body freely but only for a limited time. It was weird at first but you got used to it.

Once you were brought home, you were treated like a king as whole family did everything for you. At first it was awkward for you, you tried to walk downstairs to get something to drink and Fuyumi caught you and got Enji to carry you back to bed. After a day of this, you finally gave in and took the help. Baths with Enji were your favorite, he treated so gently like he could hurt you. He is so overly protective now but you can’t help find it adorable. It is also funny seeing a demon in the house. You wish you were at the front door when Zaheer picked up a delivery for the first time, the poor teenager screamed and ran away. Inside the home, it took the children some time to get used to it but eventually even Natsuo got used to the red giant.

The first public appearance of Enji was a train wreck. Everyone was attacking him. You were standing by the sidelines as you watched reporter after reporter try to break your man down. They asked about you, about Zaheer, about the kids. He was doing well until one of them asked if he really did love you or if it was some kind of way to be more powerful. The fire on his face roared up and threatened to burn down the event hall till Zaheer walked in stage. He told them no more questions and lead Enji out.

You have been recovering the past month and physical therapy is the name of the game. Enji had a hard time letting anyone else touch you during each session to the point he took over and bought the equipment for home. He just couldn’t stand seeing someone else pushing you that hard but you found it endearing if not a little over the top. The hardest part is trying to form the control over your body. It has been so long since you made the original connections you forgot the layout. Sometimes you will think you are walking until you have to move differently for some reason and your arm just slaps Enji. Luckily, Zaheer is there to help rebuild the connections. Speaking of your body, Enji can’t get enough of it. Your more muscular frame drives him insane. The first time he grabbed your horns during sex just about sent you over the edge. Enji quickly realized that your claws are going to leave marks on him but your tail is the where you like to play dirty.

Today you are going to your first interview since the attack. It’s a little scary because you don’t like being on camera, for obvious reasons. But also, it is the first time you will be on an interview by yourself. Enji will be there, behind the stage, but your nerves are still getting the better of you.

“(Y/N), are you ok, you’re shaking.” His arm is wrapped around your shoulder holding you tight. Since the attack, Enji has wasted no time showing his love for you in public: grabbing, hugging, even kissing you.

“I’m just nervous.”

“There is no need to be, we went over all of the questions she is going to ask. I know you will do great.”

“Thanks, I needed that.” You say leaning closer into his grip.

You enter a film studio and you sit down in a large chair on a talk show set and there is an audience. Enji stays behind the stage but is watching you on a live feed. Ayako comes out and sits down.

“Alright ladies and gentlemen, it’s the moment we have been waiting for: an interview with Hellboy!”

The audience cheers and claps as the camera pans out.

“Good morning, it’s nice to be here.”

“Hellboy, I’m just going to get right to it: what’s it like having a demon inside of you?”

“Well, at first it was really rough but once you get to know him, he pretty chill. He did try to take over my body but after we got to know each other we became friends. I don’t know what I would do without him.”

“So, your saying he isn’t evil?”

“I wouldn’t put myself under that category.”

“Oh! Good morning, Zaheer! About (Y/N), what’s it like being inside of him?”

“I’m not really sure how to answer that. I guess it’s like a room that I can change as I want and I can influence (Y/N) but other than that, not much really. I do enjoy being with him and I’m proud of him.”

“Interesting. What about that new ability where you can come outside of Hellboy?”

“It’s nothing new but it takes a lot of energy to use, that’s why I’m staying in right now.”

“That’s alright. Now… the viewing audience really wants to know one thing, what is it like dating Endeavor!?” The audience makes a collective ‘oooooOOOOoooo!!’ In excitement at this question.

“Well, no one has ever made me feel the way he does. I really do love him. I never thought I would ever find happiness, let alone from the number 2 hero. We do have our ups and downs but we always make sure to communicate and never go to bed angry.”

“That sounds sweet, and is it true you meet at the crossing bombing?”

“Yes, I passed out after I stopped the bomb and he saved me. Since then, my life has only gotten better.” The audience awws.

“When did you start dating?”

“I’d rather not say.”

“Oh, come on. Tell us.”

“Move on to the next question.”

“Alright. What is your quirk?”

“They call it Demon’s Blood, but there really isn’t one quirk.”

“What do you mean?”

“A demon doesn’t really have one power or quirk. Some have a little power some have a lot. Zaheer has more than any other demon I have heard of so he has lots abilities.”

“Ooo, I like that answer. Why do you want to be a hero?”

“I always want to help people, trying to make the world a better place. It just seems like the right thing to do with the power I was given.”

“Would you say you’re compensating for something?”

“What do you mean?” You say with a puzzling look.

She starts looking at her note cards. “When did you escape from prison?”

“What?” you answer in a startled manner.

“When were you going to tell the citizens, the ones you protect, that you are an escaped convict.”

“It’s not like that!” You say as the audience starts whispering.

“Well, it says here that you killed over 2000 people and destroyed government buildings. When did you plan on telling them that little fact about you?”

“It wasn’t… I didn’t… I…”

“Is that why you’re a hero, to repent for what you done?”

“No…. that’s not….”

“We do have proof that you killed all of those people.”

“Proof?” You look at her with panic.

“Play the video.”

The screen behind you starts showing video of inside the facility. People are running in panic and screaming as a red glow starts coming into screen. That light is you, consumed by demonic energy. People are dying left and right as you take your revenge on them. You turn around to see the audience react in horror and shock, some of them start getting sick from the video.

“STOP IT, STOP IT!” you begin to grab your face in pain as Enji run onto the stage.

“Where did you get those questions and where did you find that video?” Enji yells as Ayako.

“Oh, he’s just being dramatic, and the public should know who he really is.”

“You’re messing with a demon! Do you have any idea what you’re doing?”

“Ayako…I’m ready to talk now.”

Everyone looks at you in shock as you are glowing with red energy in the form spectral flames and the markings on your arms begin to glow. Your voice has combined with Zaheer’s and your eyes are both white with red irises. Still sitting in the chair, your claws begin to dig into the armrests.

“Oh, Hellboy I see your willing to talk.”

“Stop it Ayako, don’t taunt him right now.”

“It’s quite alright Enji, let me humor her. Yes, I did kill all those people. Those ‘scientists’ put Zaheer inside of me. They proceeded to torture me by performing tests and surgeries while I was awake. Then they locked me in a room for ten years: no light, no human interaction, I almost went insane. The only reason I’m alive is because of Zaheer.”

“What about Adam, where is he n…?” She tries to ask more but Enji puts his hand over her mouth but it’s too late.

“How do you know about Adam? Where are you getting this information? You know what, I think you’re working for him. You have to be, how else did you get the video and know all of these questions.”

Both of your hands grab at your face, you’re trying to stop the demonic energy inside of you. Suddenly Zaheer manages to speak through you and just yells “RUN!!!” The crowd begins to flee in fear as the ground beneath you starts cracking. When you uncover your face, your eyes are glowing completely red as the demonic energy has taken over. You stand up and start walking towards Enji and Ayako.

“Step aside Enji, I don’t want to hurt you. I only want to teach her a lesson: don’t mess with a demon.”

“(Y/N), look at me! This isn’t you.” He takes off his glasses so you can see his eyes better.

“If you don’t move, I’ll make you.”

Enji comes to a fighting stance, his hands alight. You take a few steps forward before lunging at him. You take the first swing but he dodges. The second punch lands and Enji coughs in pain. Enji manages to land a few punches on you but it’s like hitting a wall. As he continues to fight you, he remembers something. The next time you go to punch him, he doesn’t try to dodge. He grabs your arm and pulls you in close as he wraps his arms around you. He then turns up the heat as high as he dares to not set the building on fire. At this point you stopped fighting and are standing still in the fire. Enji looks in your eyes and sees they are starting to fade back to normal. “Warmth always calms you down, doesn’t it (Y/N)?” You slowly nod your head, eyes unblinking as if you are in a trance. After a few minutes in the fire, Enji stops the flames and you’re standing next to him. You look around to see no one in the room except you three and the destruction you left. You don’t cry but you can’t look at Enji. He goes to talk with Ayako for a minute and comes back.

“(Y/N), let’s go home.” And you both teleport back home. The rest of the evening you were silent; not even saying a word at dinner even though Enji brought in your favorite for you to cheer you up. When you both went to bed, you couldn’t face him. That’s when Enji snapped and turned you over to face him.

“Damn it, (Y/N), talk to me. Don’t worry about what happened, Ayako destroyed that recording and we won’t do another interview with you alone. The audience all had their memories adjusted thanks to Zaheer. What has gotten you so upset? Please talk to me.”

“It’s two things. One I lost control. When I saw that video, it reminded me of everything that happened to me and how I escaped. I did kill all those people but I didn’t mean to, I just lost control. I was so mentally unstable from that room. You know Zaheer tried day after day to keep me sane but it got to the point that I thought he was a voice in my head. I would just sit in the floor for days just rocking back and forth talking to the voices in my head. It was so dark then. The worst part is that I relived all of it during the coma.”

“Wait, what? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It was just replaying everything that had already happened, but it just brought it back to the front. The only thing different is how it ended, the doll calling for me. I heard your voice through the doll after I left the room. Then Rei saved me.”

“Oh…. I’m so sorry.” He places a warm hand of your cheek.

“The other thing that has me worked up is how did she get that video? I keep questioning if the people who are looking for me still are. I worry they will take me away from you. I worry they will hurt you. I worry they will take Zaheer from me.”

“(Y/N), you have nothing to worry about. I will always fight for you, got it? Now, let’s just get some rest, tomorrow we need to work on releasing some of that energy safely, ok?”

“Thank you Enji. I love you.”

“I love you too.” He says as he kisses you on the lips.

Next Chapter: R18/NSFW

#A Hellish Encounter #endeavor x male reader #endeavor #enji todoroki #enji x y/n #enji x reader #endeavor fluff #endeavor stan #endeavor mha

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hoetachi · 4 years ago

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Stretch You Out + Endeavor & Hawks

summary; in which the reader is sick of enji not giving them enough attention and drowning himself, so she decides to loosen him up a bit. warnings; threesome, switch!reader, pegging, mommy kink.

mulan’s input 🧚🏾‍♀️✨; this is going to be rushed so please excuse any sentences that don’t make any sense or any other mistakes. let’s pretend today is the first day of the kinktober 😁

He’s been in his office all day— no, correction all week. Bedroom, bathroom, work and back. that was his cycle for the last week and you were getting sick of it. You didn’t think much of it before but when he came to bed and you tried to get him in the mood, he’ll give you the common ‘i can’t my spark i have so much work tomorrow, maybe after’ yet after never came with the hellflame hero and it was taking a total on you sexual.

Yes, you wasn’t his ex-wife he mentions any time you do things that she am wouldn’t and it got on your nerves

The lack of attention resulted in many awkward conversations with fuyumi and natsuo about their sex lives, which surprisingly became causal. Together they suggested to seek hawks for some assistance with your little problem. At first you thought it was them trying to get you to have an affair with the wing hero to somehow get back at their father, but natsuo decided towards things HD for you.

“Threesome.”

“Honestly, he needs one. deserves one? hell no, but you’ve been going insane lately and fuyumi and i rather not.. intrude, so give hawks call” A threesome never came to your mind when it came to your sex life with your lover, but now thinking about it a little longer, both you and enji have a strong friendship with birdlike hero. Yeah, he flirted quite a lot with the both of you, but he was still a good friend. Maybe you trying this threesome idea, wouldn’t be too bad. Giving the hero a call, you search through your closet for a lingerie you bought a few months ago, but never got a chance to put it to use.

After a few rings a voice came through, “Hey, kid. what’s up?” with a cheery tone, he greeted you. You could hear the smirk in his voice, but disregarded it instead. “One, i’m a grown ass woman, so stop quit calling me ‘kid’ and two....” trailing off you suddenly started feeling little flutters in the pits of your stomach, glancing around the room as if he was in front of you focusing on you, and only you. You bit your lip while envisioning him giving you that same look from in between your—

“Heelllooo? earth to Y/N? are you still with me baby bir—”

“Are you busy tomorrow night?”

For such a simple question it surely had an impact. Clearing his throat from the sudden question, he adjusted himself in his chair. “Am I what tomorrow night?” He asked calmly whilst frantically searching through cabinets and draws for his to-do book. “Busy. There’s something i have planned for him, and i would love to have some assistance from you with it..” he gulped at the sudden switch in your voice. looking at the book in his hand, he flip vigorously through the pages until he landed at upcoming date

“i’m all yours tomorrow night, baby bird”

—

All day you’ve been prepping for tonight. Packing chocolate in his bag, sending suggestive pictures along with videos. How could he deny you now?

Crawling on top on of your massive lover, you straddled his lap swiftly plucking the book from his fingertips. “We used to have sex six times a week, and you used to talk to me like shit and handled me so rough...” you whined

“Please forgive me, spark. I’m not used to someone who’s so intimidate like you. Rei wasn’t like that.” He sighed as his shoulders relaxed against the headboard. Your once smug smirk turned into a irritatied glare, “what do you mean by someone like me?” you asked quite defensive. “Baby you have some nerve bringing up woman” a chuckled slipped past your lips. Before he could get a word out, you already hopped off of him. Walking around the bed and going to the bedroom’s door, “Sometimes i’ll let this slide... but not this time” you laughed as you turn towards the door. “Come on in, keigo” you called out, not fighting the smirk that crept on your face as he came in with red silk robe on.

“what is he—”

“shut up brat.” you cut him off quick. Placing a teasing hand on keigo’s chest, you have him a sloppy kiss making the number hero watch in shock. Pulling back as dribbles of drool dropped bfrom the both of them. “pin him down, birdie” she ordered.

Obeying quietly he dropped his robe and let red feathers dispersed from his wings and attached themselves to the limbs of enji. “What is going on here, Y/N!?” he pulled and wiggled around to no avail. “tsk tsk tsk, oh enji... you’ve been neglecting mommy and her needs lately,”

“I never meant to push away your needs.. mommy. i-i’ve just been so bus—”

“Sounds like excuses to me, baby bird” hawks interrupted as he brought an arm to your side. “kei be a good boy and prep this naughty hero for me, please?” you batted your lashes as a sweet smile graced her lips, almost giving off an innocent vibe. Strolling over to the still struggling todoroki, hawks leaned in and kissing him. Shocked first but after a few seconds, he hesitantly kissed back, causing low groans to erupt from his throat. Hawks pulled back with puffy lips, watching the flame hero breath heavily with dark pools in those turquoise eyes along with flushed cheeks. Soon his eyes dipped to the tint in his briefs, his hands traveled from his abdomen to the waistband of the material. Hooking his fingers underneath, he tugged them down until they were completely off. “I hope your ready, hot stuff” he winked before dipping down between his legs. You soon joined the two.

—

Having the sight of the now number 1 hero beg and path like a bitch in heat, along with the famous winged hero was accelerating to the bone. Nobody would suspect the two to be so submissive for a quirkless person like you, nor love being pounded into by a strap. Usually it was enji to leave you weak in the knees and sore for days, however it felt amazing to take control ever once in awhile. Hearing his muffled prayers on keigo’s cock with the smallest of tears— watching him become a desperate whore for the orange strap on.

Your hips meet his as he begged for more of you. “I’m close— i’m so fucking close, mommy” he whined toes curling whilst gripping the sheets. “Already ready to cum for me? keigo help him out a little bit” you ordered. One of hawk’s hands reaches down to cup his balls, and by the way he grits his teeth, exhaling a sharp breath through his nose, you can tell he’s close.

“baby boy, isn’t this exciting? having two of your favorite people in the world giving you the attention you undeservingly need” You coo in excitement and Enji’s jaw clenches hard, holding back another moan. “I bet knowing a babe like Y/N gets to turn you into complete putty is kinda making me jealous endeavor.”

not gon hold you,,,,,,,, this shit shouldn’t had taken 5 days to write like its a damn essay. i’m never again participating in this shit 💀 i feel so drained

#mha #my hero academia #bnha #hawks #smut #kinktober #endeavor #hawks x reader #enji todoroki x reader #pro heroes #{👅}— 𝐌𝐔𝐋𝐀𝐍'𝐒 𝐌𝐂𝐍𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒

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movedyoakkemae · 4 years ago

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my thoughts on the en.deavour redemption arc (chs 164 - 302). DO NOT REBLOG.

DO NOT REBLOG !!

the endeavour redemption arc is a rather controversial arc in the manga, and, tl;dr: i think it started eh, continued badly, turned better, then ended like shit.

note: if you are anime only, this will contain spoilers ! trigger warnings: child abuse, domestic abuse, suicide, and murder.

here are the things we know: endeavour physically abused shōto, tōya, and rei. he ignored natsuo and fuyumi, and he discarded tōya once he realised that tōya got burnt through using his quirk. he also mentally and emotionally abused all of them. separated shōto from the rest of his siblings. not to mention the fact that he married rei on purpose in order to create the perfect tool that would become the number one hero in his stead. he thinks of his children as objects, as extensions of himself.

however, endeavour, not out of his own power but because of all might's lack of strength, ends up reaching the number one spot as a hero by himself. this kickstarts endeavour's "redemption" arc, particularly in chapter 164 when endeavour asks all might:

endeavour: you hear about this? how the crime rate this past month... is up 3% compared to past years? i... i'm the guy who resolved more incidents than anyone, now more than ever... but i can hear it. the thing you've built that cannot be seen... is crumbling down. so, #1 hero... what's it mean to be the symbol of peace? (ch 164)

in a lot of ways, this question is surprising to hear. as we can tell even in the question itself, endeavour's main area of focus has been about the amount of incidents that he has stopped, the amount of villains that he has defeated, but recognising that there was something missing, something that all might had built up, certainly shows an awareness that endeavour seemed to lack earlier.

in the next chapter, the conversation continues:

endeavour: i gave shōto everything. by age 20, i'd already climbed to the #2 position. it was because i made that climb that i understood... unless i reached the summit, it was all for nothing. if all i cared about were titles, i could've worn a smile like you... and played the part of the lovable fool. but i wanted to be the strongest! [...] all might: endeavor. the position you've been put in... i know what people are saying. a lot of people compare us. but you and i are different. the symbol i strove to be... that isn't the path for you to follow. take your time to figure out... ...the way you ought to do things. (ch 165)

again, we still see that hint of same sort of "all he cares about strength". being number one was all about being stronger than all might, which is why when he found it impossible for him, he went on to try to create something that could end up being stronger than both him and all might. that would be, after he beat it into shape.

also, the fact that he says "i gave shōto everything". (yeah, you gave the poor kid trauma if that's what you mean by "everything".) that's something some abusers routinely say about their children -- that they gave them everything, that they should be grateful.

at the end of the chapter, we see shōto warmly giving a little girl a small fire to put her hands next to when she was chilly, a smile on his face, and endeavour has a weird look as all might says:

all might: what purpose does our strength serve? endeavour... the answer is a simple one. (ch 165)

this is what sets the tone for endeavour's part of his conversation with shōto in the next chapter.

endeavour: i'm proud of you, son. on that note... i'm hoping to become a hero you can be proud of. as your father and the #1 hero... i want to be deserving of those titles. shōto: [clearly aggravated and tense] good luck with that... (ch 165)

inasa sees endeavour talking to shōto and notices how his eyes have changed from being cold and not looking at anyone around him to actually focusing on shōto. as such, the readers are basically hinted to see that endeavour has changed, even just a little, already. he's no longer just looking at all might as the summit he needs to climb; he's actually seeing the people around him.

now, this kickstarts endeavour's arc of thoughts that being a better #1 hero would mean that he would be a better father. this we especially see in the endeavour v. nomu arc.

i think the first interesting conversation we have about the endeavour's redemption arc is in chapter 187 with natsuo and fuyumi visiting rei in the hospital. natsuo says,

natsuo: about him... they made him number one yesterday. it's official. the world still doesn't know the truth about you [rei]. about our siblings... about how he's always treated his family. for one, he doesn't do the talk show circuit. i can barely remember most of it, really. thinking back, he was like a perfect stranger. but... what he did to you, to shōto, and to... [tōya/dabi] well, i can't let anyone pretend it all never happened. it's been almost ten years, and he still hasn't come to apologise to you. his past, his family... it's like he wants to leave it all behind. [...] rei: apparently he's [endeavour] come many times. though... we haven't met. i'm a bit scared though... and my doctor says it's not a good idea. of course, i can't say what he's thinking. it might be external pressures. but... he's not leaving anything behind. not his past. not his family. i know he's trying to make sense of it all. (ch 187)

he's also apparently been leaving rei flowers, flowers that she told him that were her favourite once when they met for the first time.

i actually think in this aspect, it's good that he hasn't actually seen rei or pushed himself onto seeing her. he's letting her take control of her own recovery (although, i will say it's pretty fucking telling that even after a decade, she's still scared of him). i'd argue that the flowers might be crossing the line, but it seems that rei thinks of them as a nice gesture, so i'm not going to argue about how that could be perceived negatively.

the battle between endeavour and the nomu gets serious, and endeavour nearly dies (which is broadcasted on TV for shōto to see, ofc).

in chapter 189, we see three different characters' thoughts on endeavour never giving up (some of it in particular directed towards his fight towards surpassing all might and being number one via strength alone).

natsuo: he knows better than anyone... that he'll never be the next all might! that's why he gave up so quickly... and basically went insane... abandoning the kids he didn't care for... and driving mom to the breaking point... [...] fuyumi: he never gave up. in fact, giving up is what he's worst at. [...] hawks: i was watching you this whole time. i get it. there was nobody else out there... really trying to surpass him [all might]. only you! you were the one working to surpass him. [manga showing endeavour building a small bridge over the chasm that metaphorically separates all might from the rest of the heroes] (ch 189).

i actually agree with fuyumi here more than anyone. endeavour marrying rei and creating his children wasn't because he was giving up (for one, he thinks of his children as extensions of himself...) but part of his way of trying to surpass all might. he also continued to work and get stronger himself, which he wouldn't have been doing if he had just given up.

that being said, i do agree with natsuo's description of their childhood, just not about it being because endeavour gave up.

also, from a narrative perspective, the shift of endeavour's obsession with surpassing all might being thought of as negative (from shōto's statements of it in the sports festival arc) to positive (you're the only one who actually tried!) through hawks point of view is... interesting. horikoshi is re-contextualising endeavour's obsession as a good thing, and that, in point, is done to soften endeavour's actions overall.

after all, if it's a good thing that endeavour was trying to surpass all might, then doesn't his actions against his family make a little bit more sense? doesn't that mean that he had good intentions, even if he did something bad?

(nope. not in my book.)

so, the next part of this arc happens in 192, where endeavour comes home from the hospital and after defeating the nomu with a huge scar on his face (the exact same side as shōto's!), and we get that beautifully passive aggressive "nasty scar you got there" from shōto while he's slurping up soba noodles.

and then natsuo tries to leave and this conversation starts:

endeavour: natsuo... if you got something to say, then say it. natsuo: say it...? that's rich, coming from a guy who's never even looked me in the eye. listen to this... i didn't know shōto loved soba until today. why? because you never let him play with us failed experiments. i get the feeling that mom and sis here want to forgive you, but all i see is the same maniac who, all of a sudden, is getting rave reviews. you might look like a changed man, but you're not. you abandoned us as failures, left us to hear mom's screams, shōto's cries. and big bro tōya too... you being the top hero and beating some big baddie can't erase any of that. did you decide to have a change of heart?! think we can just hug things out and make up?! it's sickening! don't you freaking get that?! endeavour: i'm trying to make amends, going forward. natsuo: is that so?! [leaves] (ch 192)

for one, god fucking bless natsuo. i think he fully encapsulates my issue with this part of the endeavour redemption arc, which is solidified by shōto's own speech:

shōto: as a hero, this endeavour guy... is pretty darn amazing. but it's like natsu said. i'm not ready to forgive you... for abusing mom. so, heroics aside, what sort of dad are you going to be? that's what i want to find out. sure, the perfect turning point can actually change someone. i know it's possible. (ch 192)

endeavour doesn't need to be a perfect hero to earn redemption from his family. hell, even when shōto hated endeavour the most, he could admit that endeavour was a great hero. maybe his reasons for being a hero was off, but he saved people, he stopped the bad guys. i think it's even canon that he's technically saved more people than all might.

the problem was never with "endeavour", it was with "todoroki enji". todoroki enji was a shit father who didn't give a shit about his kids aside from what he could use them for. he was too obsessed with defeating all might that he lost sight of his family -- which endeavour finally seems to realise after this little speech.

endeavour's thoughts: [having a flashback to all might saying "what purpose does our strength serve?"] power... a reason to dominate... when he told me that, it came to me in a flash. an ordinary, simple thought. "i have to safeguard the future for them." that's the job for whoever's on top! and yet... what about the futures i cut short? [image of rei in the midst of a mental breakdown] just demanding forgiveness isn't enough. it's too late for that. at this point, i need to atone... there's no other route. endeavour out loud: fuyumi, i'm sorry for everything. that was the wrong thing to say to natsuo. (ch 192)

we see actual growth in his character, him actually starting to learn what he should be focusing on rather than what he was focusing on. he still slips up, like with him trying to demand shōto's attention through texting with contact information that he only got because FUYUMI gave to him (ch 203), which i have my own issues with. as in, fuyumi better have asked shōto permission before giving endeavour his contact information because, if not, then holy fucking shit, that's so gross.

in the next part of the endeavour redemption arc, we have shōto in chapter 242 invite izuku and katsuki to join him with training at endeavour's hero agency.

we still see hints of endeavour only really thinking of shōto as an extension of his will and his beliefs when he asks izuku and katsuki in chapter 247 what they're working on and what they want to achieve. he starts to move in without even asking shōto, which shōto objects to in his own way.

endeavour: let's get to it -- shōto: [clears throat] and me? endeavour: you're here to master flashfire, shōto! shōto: all the quirk training you beat into me as a kid... i've put it into practise with my right side. thinking back, it's no wonder i couldn't escape my own hatred of you. then i got into u.a. competing alongside these two [izuku and katsuki]... and everyone else... really opened my eyes. endeavour... in the end... i'm going to do exactly what you always wanted. but please understand... the man i admire... is the one mom and i watched on the tv back then. [all might]. as a fledgling hero... in order to become a man worthy of the title... i came here of my own free will! you're a rotten number one*. you were just in the right place at the right time -- that's all. sorry this isn't going the way you want it to, number one. so let's stop that father-son crap in front of my friends. endeavour's thoughts: since he was willing to come here, i thought the boy's heart was open and ready to accept me... what a fool i was! i had it all wrong! endeavour out loud: right. i'll be evaluating you three as heroes. (ch 247) *the translation isn't quite accurate, but i don't have access to the original japanese right now to translate myself. i just remember that this translation isn't the best.

once again, we do see that endeavour is learning. shōto expresses his feelings and endeavour tries to move on from there in the way that shōto wants him to -- and he does ! he stops acting like he's close to shōto as a dad in front of the others and acts only like a hero training an apprentice (without the abuse that happened all throughout shōto's childhood).

i think this and what happens in the next part of this internship arc, is probably the best written bits of the endeavour redemption arc.

by that, in chapter 249, we open with this inner dialogue from endeavour:

endeavour: i'm trying to make amends... going forward. it might be too late... but i fall asleep every night thinking about... what i can do for my family. lately, it's been the same dream. the wife and kids, looking happy... at the dinner table. but i'm... never there with them. (ch 249)

this kickstarts his decision that he gives to natsuo later, but before we get there, we get this awkward todoroki family dinner with izuku and katsuki. izuku finally finds out that katsuki overheard them during the sports festival, and fuyumi and shōto talk when they think they're alone.

fuyumi: it's not like i don't share some of natsu's feelings... but... it feels like we've been given another chance now... how do you feel about dad? shōto: this burn... i think of it as something our old man gave me. [cue horrific flashback of the aftermath of rei pouring boiling water on shōto's face and immediately apologising] mom endured and endured... until she couldn't anymore. so, i can't just decide to forgive the guy who wore her down... but... mom is trying to get past all that now. honestly... i don't know... how i should feel about him. i still... haven't seen anything. [...] izuku: todoroki, i think... you're getting yourself ready to be able to forgive him. just say "i'll never forgive him" if you really hate the guy. because you're so caring yourself... it's like you're waiting... or at least that's how it seems. (ch 249)

i think each of the siblings (including tōya / dabi!) really showcases a lot of the different reactions children can have towards abuse. fuyumi is the type who fully embraces the abuser back because they want to become a family again. shōto is the type who isn't quite sure but doesn't want to just kick the abuser down if he's actually trying to change. natsuo is the type who just does not want to be around the abuser at all and doesn't think the abuser can change. tōya / dabi is the vengeful one who literally wants the abuser dead or feeling how he caused them to feel.

i also have an issue with how izuku words this to shōto -- does that mean that natsuo is not caring? should he not be upset with endeavour for all of the abuse, and, in natsuo's thoughts, for causing tōya to die? he cares too much, and that's really it, and i think endeavour (funnily enough) encapsulates my thoughts on that completely.

for context, natsuo gets kidnapped and held hostage by a villain who wants endeavour to kill him. the villain is threatening to kill natsuo if endeavour doesn't kill him. endeavour chokes on the save aside from catching katsuki and natsuo after the boys implement their plans to rescue natsuo, stop the villain, and save the civilians. then, endeavour has this to say:

endeavour: i'm sorry! in that moment... i couldn't help but think... about how if i saved you... then going forward... you might feel... like you couldn't stand up to me... natsuo, believe it or not... i was never trying... to neglect any of you. but... all i could do was blame others and dodge responsibility. with tōya too... i might as well have killed him myself. natsuo: didn't neglect us? so what...? tōya has always told me everything. it'll be a cold day in hell... before i forgive you. 'cause i'm not as caring as shōto. endeavour: even so... even so... you keep showing up for fuyumi, right? and for your mom's sake? your sister loves the idea of being a big happy family... because... that's exactly what i ruined. she wants that back... she's so eager to fix everything. and that's why you're trying. because you care about how she feels, right..? because you are caring. so... you don't have to forgive me. i'm not looking for forgiveness. just atonement. natsuo: [starts crying] wow. you got a real way with words all of a sudden! i know how happy it makes sis, having us all together! but... when i see your face... those memories come rushing back. why do i gotta be the one to come around? atonement? how're you gonna make that happen? endeavour: i have an idea, actually. (ch 252).

endeavour saying "i wasn't trying to neglect any of you" is such a fucking backslide, but he somewhat saves it with explaining why. at the same time, the explanation doesn't really matter -- he did neglect natsuo and fuyumi. however, the next bit of it, when he says that natsuo does care, and that it's okay for natsuo to never forgive him -- that was real fucking character growth, and we see it come to a beautiful place at the end of the chapter where endeavour talks with fuyumi and natsuo.

endeavour: fuyumi. i've already talked about this with shōto and natsuo. you've been doing your best to create a safe and sound household for your mother to come home to. i've let you shoulder all of that... and i stood by while you worked hard... but it's all okay now. [thoughts: it's always the same dream. my whole family's there, but not me.] because i'm building a new house for you all. one that makes sense for your commutes. and one where you can give your mother a warm welcome back. fuyumi: what about you, dad...? endeavour: [thoughts: if i really care about how they feel...] i'll remain here. (ch 252)

this is where i fucking cheered. this is where i really thought horikoshi was going to save this arc. abusers forcing their presence on the family is absolutely the wrong way to do it. endeavour trying to be the "best hero" is absolutely the wrong way to do it. endeavour stepping back, making sure that they're all comfortable, but (most likely) being there when they want to reach out on their terms in the way that they want to -- that's beautiful. that's actual growth. that's literally the best decision any abuser can make ever; leaving it in the hands of the people he abused.

in this part, in this moment, i could have accepted the endeavour redemption arc. i might not have agreed when shōto decided that he could see endeavour as a father (depending on when it would happen in canon and what would cause it), but in this regard, i could actually see redemption.

and then we get the fucking shitshow that is dabi reveal arc and the dabi backstory arc, and then i just want to throw away the whole fucking redemption arc.

in chapter 290, we get the dabi is todoroki tōya reveal (surprise, surprise /j). tōya, being the dramatic bitch that he is, washes off the probably water-soluble black dye off of his white hair and tells endeavour and shōto that he's tōya and that he's been waiting for years to take endeavour down and that he's sending out a broadcast to every TV station live detailing about endeavour's abuse of his family.

dabi: when, at long last, you could stare your kids in the eye... didja finally start to feel the warm and fuzzy bonds of family?! you must've thought, "as long as i can face the future, i can be better!" i can tell you're at a loss for words, so here's the answer! the past never dies! get it, yet?! you reap what you sow! so let's tango, you and me -- todoroki enji! a dance with your son, here in hell!! (ch 290).

in chapter 291, we continue the dabi reveal (including a 99.9% match between his DNA and endeavour's DNA as proof of their relation! hint: that's not actually fucking possible, but i'm pretty sure that's either a translation error or a wording issue) in the public eye. we get this fun little monologue from endeavour in the beginning of the chapter:

endeavour's thoughts: i thought it could be you [tōya]. you could have been the one... to reach my eternal goal. my frustration... my envy... the ugliness in my heart... you could have been the one... to smash it all to dust.

again, we get that whole "using child as an object/extension of endeavour" thing that has characterised endeavour for a long time. tōya shouldn't have been created to fix his frustration about not becoming number one himself.

regardless, endeavour stays in shock for the rest of the battle, unable to even move despite the fact that shōto managed to pull himself together in order to try to save everyone on the battlefield despite dabi trying to kill him.

we then go to chapter 300, where endeavour wakes up in his hospital room and ruminates on everything that he had done. he cries and expresses guilt, especially on how things played out with tōya when he was a child, and he declares that "i might get to live on... but endeavour died back there. my son's a mass murderer, yet... i can't fight him." (ch 300).

then, shōto, natsuo, and fuyumi enter the room while endeavour continues to cry.

endeavour: sorry... i'm... so sorry. i'm sorry... i didn't realise until now... these regrets... this guilt... it's too late to matter! my heart... it's... rei: [walking into the room] yes? what about your heart? those regrets and guilt... the rest of us have borne that burden... much more than you have. endeavour: rei?! why are you here?! rei: i'm here to talk about our family. and about our son, tōya. (ch 300).

this jumpstarts into a flashback of what caused tōya's "death", and i think in some truly horrific scenes that i think horikoshi writes in a way that we're supposed to feel some level of sympathy for endeavour. reading all of that makes me feel even -infinity sympathy for endeavour.

in chapter 301, we start the flashback into the past, where tōya wants to continue quirk training but endeavour begins to discard him, saying that it was for tōya's own good (because he burns himself when he uses too much fire). unfortunately, tōya doesn't care about his own burns, he just wants his dad's approval and wants to surpass all might himself.

endeavour, meanwhile, is still focused mostly on creating a child that would surpass all might, as we see in this conversation between endeavour and rei:

rei: no... that would be too much! it's too cruel! especially now that tōya knows what you're hoping to achieve through the children! endeavour: no matter what i say... he comes home with fresh burns every day. he inherited that pigheaded stubbornness from me! that's the only way to make him give up! since he'll never be the one to surpass... [all might] (ch 301)

(sure, that's your motivation. you say that while you literally have the same eyes as when you think about all might being better than you).

endeavour's eyes when thinking about all might being better.

endeavour's eyes when thinking of "stopping tōya" through the birth of more children.

we see that shōto is born, and that tōya doesn't stop training on his own, which causes endeavour to snap at tōya:

endeavour: no! why won't you stop?! you're covered in burns... and you still don't get it?! why?! tōya! you have to... look beyond all this. play with natsuo and fuyumi! make some friends at school! there's a whole other world besides the hero stuff... i know you understand that! take my advice, and this'll all be a distant memory soon. tōya: the kids at school all say they wanna be heroes. i can't understand that. because i've got you as a father. you lit this fire in me, dad, and it's not going out! i can't just pretend it's not there! [uses his fire] look at me, endeavour! look... at me!! [goes to attack baby!shōto] (ch 301)

all tōya wanted was not to be discarded, and he could see just as well as anyone that endeavour didn't seem to care about the others as much -- that's why tōya went for shōto, not for any of the other siblings.

endeavour had no real idea how to talk to tōya, or even knew how to reach out and get some help, and that was probably (mainly) because what he was doing with rei and creating his children was illegal, as we hear from a doctor earlier.

and before anyone blames tōya, he's young ass kid who knows he's being discarded by his father, and he wants attention. just any sort of attention. yes, he's going to lash out. yes, he's going to keep on doing what originally got him his father's attention (aka training). yes, he's going to try to attack endeavour's "perfect child" for "taking his place". i don't blame tōya for that -- i blame endeavour.

rei: [in the present] you don't get to claim you're hurting more than anyone. and you're not the only one who didn't really see him. (ch 301)

this next chapter, the next part of the flashback, chapter 302, is particularly rough, and it's in part with what's hinted in rei's last part of this comment. (i agree with the first part! endeavour doesn't get to claim that he's hurting more than anyone else. it's the second in context with chapter 302).

we return back to the flashback where endeavour is talking to rei about separating shōto from the rest of his siblings.

endeavour: i'm too busy with work to look after him [shōto] 24-y... which is why i've hired help. but you -- don't you take your eyes off of tōya. rei: he just wants you to look at him. to notice him. that's all. endeavour: all i can show anyone... is the world of heroes. rei: heroes? aren't you just running away? (ch 302)

interestingly enough, endeavour's face in this conversation is covered by shadows. all we really see are the whites of his eyes and the side of his face where sweatdrops of stress are running down. rei's face, too, is practically covered aside from a close-up on her stressed eye. a lot of rei's downward spiral focuses on rei's eyes over anything, so i think this is where we kind of see -- well, not the start of that (we do see that focus in ch 301), but the continuation of her stress that leads eventually to her mental breakdown.

then, we continue on (with an interesting conversation between tōya and rei, but we're focusing on endeavour unfortunately, so alas) with tōya talking to endeavour.

tōya: listen, dad. next time you get a day off... you gotta come up to sekoto peak with me. endeavour: [grabs tōya's shirt violently and lifts it up. his thoughts: new burns! where he can keep them hidden! he's been training that way on purpose!] damn it! again?! tōya: no, wait! what i can do now is really cool! you gotta come see! i might be as awesome as shōto sooner or later! maybe i'll be even better than all might someday! then you've gotta give me some respect, dad! you'll be glad you created me! i just know it! (ch 302)

the next scene is a very clear domestic abuse scene (even if it cuts away from the actual hitting).

endeavour: why didn't you stop him?! huh, rei?! damn it, that's all i asked you to do!! shōto: [crying and stepping in front of rei, trying to defend her] don't bully mommy! stop it! don't be mean to her! endeavour: get out, shōto! it's none of your business! natsuo & fuyumi: [cowering, crying, and covering their ears] rei: i... can't stop him. (ch 302).

skip the next scan if the narrative hint of domestic abuse happening might upset you.

now, i'm putting in the scan to showcase that we essentially get to explicitly see this all go down. endeavour is a shadowy figure in the bedroom, we see nothing of rei's face except for her eye (crying, and again, that same focus where we see her slow descent into her mental break), and we see all of the children cry except for tōya because he's out training on his own again.

the fact that endeavour decides to berate, and most likely hit, rei instead of going after his son -- well, he'd come to regret it later when tōya supposedly dies because "all he [endeavour] taught me... was how to turn up the heat." (ch 302). tōya burns himself to death because endeavour decided that because his quirk wasn't good enough to beat all might that he rather not train him at all anymore. that -- ugh.

and then we get out of the flashback and back into the hospital room in some of the most abhorrent lines of the present moments of this arc.

endeavour: if only i'd given it all up that day... but having killed tōya... i felt there was no turning back, so i poured all my energy into shōto... at the expense of everything else. rei: once tōya was gone, you grew worse and worse, until i couldn't stand the sight of you. it got so bad, i even started seeing hints of you in the children's faces. fuyumi: i knew our family was broken, but i was too scared to interfere. all i could do was try to fix things just to keep up appearances. natsuo: it was you who started all of this. you're the root cause, but... maybe, if i'd just slugged you in the face and made you have a few serious talks with him... "dabi" never would've come about, and i would've been enjoying some good soba with shōto all these years. rei: you're not the only one who's responsible, and now we all have to take responsibility for what comes next. (ch 302).

ignoring the next part for now, holy fucking shit. horikoshi makes the decision to spread the blame of tōya's death to the rest of the todoroki family, never mind that rei was also abused by endeavour and that fuyumi and natsuo were twelve and eight respectively.

endeavour showed no signs of listening to ANYONE. rei told him flat out that he just needed to give tōya attention, and he didn't listen. the fact that fuyumi felt burdened on trying to keep up appearances and felt like she didn't try to fix things at the age of twelve -- horrific. the fact that natsuo blames himself for not trying to talk some sense into endeavour at the age of eight -- horrific.

this is the moment where i threw the endeavour redemption arc into the garbage -- the rest of the family taking blame onto themselves that they shouldn't blame just so that endeavour can just right back up and be a hero.

endeavour was not going to change, not for anyone. hell, even with tōya's death, and endeavour admits it himself, it made him even more stubborn in his ways because one of his extensions of his will sacrificed himself, so he best make sure that shōto becomes the best extension of his will he can be.

this is genuinely so disgusting that i can't even put into words just how terrible this is. the fact that horikoshi made this decision -- i lost all respect for horikoshi as an author and in the endeavour redemption arc.

this chapter ends with shōto being proclaimed as the family hero and that endeavour needs to come back as a hero and fight dabi and by this point, i already hate everything, so throw the bitch out.

i think if the endeavour redemption arc had stopped in chapter 252, i think it would have been great. i think if they had played off the dabi reveal in any other way, without the family blaming themselves to partially absolve endeavour of his guilt, i think it could have been fine. but the way that this played out, the way that the victims are blaming themselves in part to make the abuser feel better -- no. just, fucking no.

is that a thing that happens in real life? do abuse victims internalise the abuse and then think that the abuser was just trying to do their best? oh yeah. however, with how the rest of the arc seems to be going with endeavour (endeavour showing up in the newest chapter still going around as a hero -- the number one hero, even), horikoshi is condoning that instead of writing it as unhealthy as it should be written.

thus, nope. throw the whole fucking thing away. no thank you.

#⤷ shouto t.【 ❝ heroes also have times when they cry. ❞ 】metas.#this is a 5.9k meta #this is longer than some of my college essays #it's also a lot messier than a lot of my college essays #i don't go that deep deep into analysis and word choice like i normally would #but i think y'all can get my points #tl;dr: fuck horikoshi and fuck endeavour ty very much #mentions of child abuse //#mentions of domestic abuse //#mentions of suicide //#mentions of murder //

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mrs-takami-keigo · 4 years ago

Text

King of the clouds

Chapter 5

Main Pairing: Hawks/Quinn(OC)

Story Rating: Explicit! 18+

Genre: Romance/Action/ Smut

Words: 7.3K

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Notes: To the people that do read this, thank you so much! This story is my baby and I plan on seeing her through to the end. Everytime I see a like for this I get a little emotional, beacuse I do put a lot of thought and heart into this story. But I would also love to hear from you! Please don’t be afraid to comment or anything, I love reading people reactions to this.

“Okay so the objective is Phoenix is going to be the villain and it’s up to you, Bakugo, to subdue her before back up comes. Once you put the handcuffs on her you win. You have twenty minutes.” I heard Aizawa explain over the earpiece.

“Tch just start the clock already.” Even without the device, I could hear Bakugou’s loud voice resonating. ‘Why does this kid have such a big mouth?’

“Your twenty minutes start now.”

The sound of an airhorn rang through the training grounds, signaling the start of our match. I was given a head start so I could hide. Figuring my best option was to start off on higher grounds, I stood atop a medium-sized office building. Even though I wasn't in his line of sight I could see him. Watching as he started down the main street of the training ground, looking around, trying to pinpoint my location, Bakugou’s guard was up, ready for anything. I’m sure he’s waiting for me to make the first move.

“Come on you old hag I know you're here!”

‘OLD HAG?!’ I could feel my eye twitch and my blood began to boil. This kid sure does have a lot of nerve to talk to someone like that, but it’s one of the reasons I looked forward to meeting him. His attitude, skill, and demeanor reminded me of my own at times. I went to the edge of the building, slamming a combat booted foot on the ledge, my hands on my hips as I yelled down to him.

“Anybody tell you it’s rude to disrespect your elders?!”

“Shut up!” I saw him lift an arm up and a giant explosion generating from his palm. Glass windows shattered as the blast made its way up to me. Using my wings I shot up into the sky, trying to avoid the blast. Covering my face with my arms I felt the heat from the blast run through me, the air around the blast whipping around me, my curls flying everywhere. The sheer force of the explosion was impressive for a kid his age, if I weren’t able to use my wings to fly away, I for sure would have been finished.

“That’s it?! I thought you had an explosive quirk, not a firecracker! Honestly, you must be great during festivals.” The look of annoyance washed over his face as I spoke. “You know that’s what Imma call you from now on. You're just like a firecracker, all you are is nothing but noise!“ I let out a belly laugh as I wrapped my arms around my stomach. I knew I was pissing him off but that's what I wanted.

Straightening up I wiped the tears from my eyes, stopping my laughter. Bakugou’s teeth were bared in annoyance, his gloved hands balled into fists. “Come on firecracker you wanna play with the big dogs right?! Then let's play!”

Lifting my arms towards the sky I channeled all my energy into my palms, that same feeling when I formed my wings ignited through my body. Soon two large fireballs formed in each of my hands. Taking a deep breath I threw both fireballs directly at the teen. Due to their size and how fast they were going, it would take precise movements and fast reaction time to dodge them, but from what I’ve seen previously and from Shouto’s letter I knew he could dodge them with ease.

Just as I had anticipated he shot off his own blast towards the ground to propel himself into the air barely dodging the two balls of fire as they made an impact with the ground.

“Should have guessed an old hag like you didn’t have any juice left!” Changing his direction he used his explosions to make his way to the roof trying to chase me and fight me head-on, but I’m faster.

“No juice you say.” Horror was written on his face when he heard my voice from behind him. My fire wings let me reach insane speeds, the last time I checked I clocked it at a hundred and eighty miles per hour. Using fire to help me, I flipped over myself, bringing my right leg down landing a hard dropkick on his shoulder, sending him straight back down to the street. I made sure not to use my full strength afraid I would cause too much harm to his body.

When Bakugou landed, he was face down groaning in pain. Lowering myself back on the ground, I watched as Bakugou rolled to his side, gripping the shoulder I kicked him on with his hand, coughing as he tried to catch his breath.

“What your problem is, is that you underestimate everyone around you.” He had stopped his coughing, glaring at me. “Now, Katsuki Bakugou stand up, and let’s fight for real.”

“You’re gonna regret sayin’ that old woman.” Bakugou stood up, shaking off my last attack. I could sense that his attitude had changed, he now saw me as an opponent.

Using his power like before he launched himself forward at a faster speed, throwing me off for a second. Smirking I flew up into the sky ready to miss his attack only to be stopped. I felt his hand wrap around my ankle. Glancing down at him, a satisfied smirk played on his face.

“Tryna fly away already?” Before I could comprehend what was happening I felt my body be spun around.

Bakugou was using his other hand to set off small explosions resulting in him spinning around like a tornado and taking me along with him. He reached a speed that made everything look like one big blur before letting go of my ankle, I had no time to react with how fast I was traveling through the air.

“AUGH!” The air flew out of my lungs as my back came in contact with the brick, the impact was so strong that I left a small crack in it. Catching myself before I fell to the ground, I saw Bakugou get ready for another attack.

“That was impressive kid but you won't get another shot like that again.”

“Try and stop me.” Bakugou went to move again but stopped in mid-motion. “What the-” Soon he was flung up into the sky, coming back down at neck-breaking speed, slamming into the earth. A chuckle escaped my lips as he struggled to stand up or move in general, cursing as each attempt turned out to be useless.

“I’m well skilled in close combat but I excel at long range. Not only because of my fire but because of my other power.” As I spoke I stalked closer to the young boy, the sound of broken glass and gravel crushing under my boots. Whenever I used this quirk my hair would float behind me, as if I was underwater and my eyes would change from hazel to grey. My right hand was extended out pushing him further into the ground. “My telekinetic powers allow me to do things like this without even touching another person.”

Still holding him down I squatted next to him, balancing myself on the balls of my feet. “Now that you have a taste of both my powers let’s continue yeah?”

“Times up!” We both heard Aizawa say over our earpiece. The training grounds were in shambles, building missing walls, windows blown out. Parts of the street were torn up, it looked as if a war had passed through here. It was partially true, seeing as how after I had un-pinned Bakugou we both went all out. There were times where I was sure he had me but it was always because of a silly mistake on his part that I would escape.

Which led us to this moment, I had him trapped in a cage I made out of metal pipes when I sent him flying across the training grounds with a punch and firepower mixed in it.

“NO! Let me go again! I can beat this old hag!” He had his hands wrapped around the metal pipes, trying to shake them loose.

“So I’m back to being called old hag huh? And here I thought we were getting along.” I reached through the bars ruffling up his hair. “I’m actually thoroughly impressed with you firecracker in all seriousness.” He stopped his manic behavior, a reserved look on his face.

“I’m looking forward to what you do in the future. You’re special, firecracker, that’s without a doubt.” I flicked my wrist, moving the cage off of him. “When it’s time for your next work-study, be sure to contact me.”

“Tch! Whatever old hag.” I couldn’t help but smile, he may have said that but the small blush on his cheeks and the satisfied smile he wore didn’t go unnoticed.

“Okay, kiddo’s, who’s next?”

Stretching my arms above my head, I cracked my back and neck as I sat in the nurse's office. Recover girl had helped ease the pain in my back from when Bakugou slammed me into the building and my sore muscles. She told me if he had tossed me any harder my back would have been broken and that I’m lucky all I had was the giant bruise on my back. Going twenty rounds in combat with those kids wreaked havoc on my body. Some were easy to defeat and some proved to be quite the challenge.

“That was too much Quinn.” Shouto handed me a glass of water as he took a seat in the empty chair next to the bed I was on.

“Oh please, that was nothing compared to the villains I’ve fought before. And you were holding back, don’t think I didn’t notice Shouto.”

“I was worried, it's only been a few days since you’ve gone back to work after the incident.” Shouto clenched his fist as his expression turned dark. “Since that bastard put you in the hospital.”

It wasn’t until that moment I registered that I haven’t really seen or spoken to him since that day. Fuyumi told me that Shouto was at the hospital that day, and saw exactly what Phoenix Rising does to my body. That image of me hooked up to machines, clinging on to life must have fucked him up.

“Shouto, look at me.” He still had his fist clenched tight, I was afraid that he would draw blood if he held them any tighter. “Come on half-pint look at me.” Facing him I leaned down a little so I could try to catch his eye. Once he heard the nickname I used to call him, his eyes met mine. Those once bright eyes of his now held years of pain, abuse, and burden in them.

“I thought you were gonna die, I-I can’t lose you.” His voice was shaky from trying to hold back his tears as he spoke.

“I’m not going anywhere, half-pint. I would never let scumbags like Dabi be the end of me, I promise you that.” I took his hands in my own. “Do you know why I came to Japan?” Shouto just shook his head, too afraid to speak. “I came to protect you, Fuyumi, Natsuo, and Auntie Rei. I failed in protecting Auntie and Touya, I’m not going to make that mistake again.”

“Quinn…” I got off the bed to stand in front of him, making him stand up with me.

“So don’t worry about losing me okay?” Giving him a reassuring smile I squeezed the hand that was in mine. “Come on you gotta change out of your costume and go do your homework and I gotta go home, there is a nice hot bath screaming my name right now.”

Once I got home I stripped off my costume, noticing that it had some rips in it, I made a mental note to go and try to get that fixed. Grabbing my hair towel and robe I made my way to the bathroom.

Besides having roof access, this apartment had an amazing bathroom. White tiles lined the floor and walls but the sink, cabinet, toilet, and bathtub were a solid black. There was also a separate stand up shower in one corner, while next to it was a clawfoot tub that was so big it could fit two people comfortably.

Turning on the water and stepping into the shower, I washed the day’s sweat and grime off my body, relishing in the feeling of the hot water running down my body and through my soft curls. Once everything was washed off, I filled up the tub with hot water adding in some of my favorite eucalyptus and spearmint bubble bath soap.

Sinking in my body in the hot water, I slid my aching body down the back of the bathtub leaning my head back to rest over the edge.

“Ah now, this is the life.” Closing my eyes I could feel my muscles relax under the water. Between the relaxing smell of my soap and the soft 90’s slow jams playing in the background, I felt myself let my mind wander.

“You’re so beautiful not only cause of your looks, it's that heart you have.”

‘Hawks.’

I could still feel his lips pressed against my palm. How his golden eyes shined under that moonlight. It was only for a moment but the usual playful glint in his eyes had disappeared when he spoke about how that was the only place he was actually at peace. That sadness made me want to reach out and hug him, make sure that the sadness left.

“No! Snap out of it Quinn!” I sunk lower into my tub, the water coming up just past my lips. Bringing my knees up to my chest, I hugged them. The best thing I could do for both of us is just be friends and that’s it. There was no way I could get my feelings involved, not with Hawks.

I stayed in the tub for another ten minutes, the water started to cool down and my fingers turned pruney, telling me it was time to get out. Standing up I could feel a dull ache in my back.

“Maybe I should put a patch on this.” I put on my purple fuzzy robe and wrap my hair in the pink microfiber towel as I walked through the bathroom door that led straight into my room. Going through my draws I found a clean pair of panties, and my favorite red satin shorts and camisole pajama set.

Shedding off the robe and grabbing a soft white towel, I swiped it across my damp skin. Feeling like I was dry, I slid the undergarment up my legs followed by my satin shorts and top. Going up to my white and gold-lined vanity, I grabbed my favorite body lotion that smells of vanilla and coconut.

After applying lotion I went through the rest of my night routine. Doing my skincare, massaging oils into my curls to keep them hydrated, and putting on my diffuser with peppermint oil in it, hoping the essential oil will soothe my aching body and my thoughts about a certain red-winged man.

Just as I stepped into the bathroom to grab an icy-hot patch, the sound of something faintly knocking on the door that connected to the roof caught my attention. My guard went up instantly, no one knew I was there besides my family, Mirko, and Hawks. Putting my slippers on, I tiptoed to the staircase that led to the door. The pounding became more frantic as I crept closer.

I could feel my heart begin to race with each step I took. It would have been one thing if I lived in a house, but I live in a highrise apartment building and there were over thirty floors of people that lived here. If something went wrong I would have to worry about them before backup could arrive and fend off whatever or whoever this is.

Igniting my right hand with flames, I kicked the door open, ready for a fight.

“OH MY GOD!” I stopped my flames immediately and ran to catch Hawks as he swayed to the side, catching him as he started to fall to the ground.

“Hey, fire….bird…” Hawks could barely get my nickname out of his mouth before he coughed, blood landing on my slippers. I could see he was holding on to the last little bit of consciousness he had, his wings were almost non-existing save for the few small feathers that were left.

‘How the hell did he fly here?!’ I slung his arm around my shoulder, my right arm wrapped around his waist, trying to hold him up. After about five steps Hawks lost all consciousness and became dead weight, making it hard for me to carry him.

“Hawks what happened to you?!” I used my telekinesis to help me bring him down the stairs and into my living room. Laying him down on the couch. I ran into the kitchen grabbing a small dish towel, running it under cold water, then running into the bathroom grabbing the first aid kit under the sink.

Running back to the couch I was able to finally take in his appearance. His usual beige colored and fur-lined coat was covered in blood, it looked old seeing as how it was all crusted. His pants were dirty and covered in tears, those brown leather gloves were gone as were his yellow visor and headphones. Not wasting any more time, I kneeled down, opening up the first aid kit.

“Okay, dove lets get you out of this coat.” Placing my arms around his torso I lifted him up, using my body to hold him. Hawks head fell on my shoulder, his chin hair tickling my neck. Bunching the coat in my hands I slid the heavy material off his shoulders, and since he had such small wings at the moment this was easy to do.

I threw the coat to the side, planning on washing it later, I held back onto him as I lowered him on the couch. Getting hold of the wet towel, I brushed his soft dirty blond hair out of his face. I couldn’t help but wince when I realized how badly he was beaten up.

“Oh Hawks, who did this to you?” I could already see a black and blue under his left eye, his lip was split open, dried blood around the wound. I started with the blood around his lip, trying to see exactly how bad it was.

“Fuck that hurts.” My eyes shot to his golden ones, well one, his other one was so messed up he couldn’t open it fully. “Whe-where am I?”

His eye was searching the room, trying to make sense of where he was, but drawing blanks. The panic in his face was becoming more evident. Gently touching his cheek I made him lock eyes with me.

“Hey, look it’s me, Quinn. You are safe, Hawks you’re safe, okay.” His widened eye started to relax as my words hit him and my face came into focus. His body visibly relaxing as I kept my hand on his cheek.

“Quinn? How did I get here?” He tried to sit up but winced in pain, falling back down on the couch.

“That’s what I would like to know, but later let's try to patch you up okay?” I continued to clean his face of the blood, putting ointments where he had open cuts. Pushing myself up off the ground I reached down to help him stand up.

“What are you doing?” Hawks was confused but still stood up in front of me.

“I have to check under your shirt for any other wounds.” Without another word I tucked my fingers in the hem of his shirt, my fingers brushing against his skin, pushing it up. He tried to stop my hands as they began to lift his shirt.

“Oh stop it, like I haven't seen a man's chest before, now let me do what I need to do.” I inspected his torso and didn't see any cuts or scrapes, just mild bruising. Pulling the shirt down I helped him lay back down.

“Mind telling me how and who fucked you up like this?” I was cleaning up the mess I made while in my frantic mode.

“A couple of low-grade criminals is all. One of them had a time warp quirk and one was a power quirk, not a great matchup for someone like me.” By the tone in his voice, I knew he was upset and embarrassed, he probably didn’t want me to see him like this.

“Why didn’t you call for backup? Shit, you should have called me silly.” I looked back down at him, a soft smile forming on my lips as I tilted my head to the right, my hair flowing over my shoulder. “You may be a man that's too fast, but I’m the woman who can keep up.” I bent down to grab the towel that was on the floor, only to feel Hawks palm on my cheek. Using his other arm he propped himself up, bringing his face closer to mine.

“The only woman that can keep up with me, I like the sound of that.” His voice came out as a gentle growl. I couldn’t look away from his golden eyes, there was something behind them, something that left my stomach in knots. It was as if I was under a spell that no matter what I couldn’t break. He kept leaning closer to me, his warm breath fanning over my slightly parted lips. Hawks’ hand that was on my cheek moved so it could cup my jaw. Soon I felt my eyes begin to close as he did, our lips just about to graze each other.

Suddenly the sound of the Imperial March from Star Wars echoed through the room, breaking the spell between us. I pulled back, eyes wide open. My cheeks hot from a blush that crept up. I looked at Hawks just as he flopped back on the couch, his arm covering his eyes as a deep sigh came out of him.

The song kept blaring trying to get my attention. I already knew who it was, my mother. Jogging into my room I picked up the small purple phone off my bed sliding the arrow on the screen to accept the call.

“Hey, mom!” I was still trying to calm down my racing heart.

“Quinn! Honey are you okay? You didn’t call me once you got home from work. I called your Uncle and he said he hadn't heard from you since yesterday!” I could hear the sheer panic in her voice, knowing that she hadn’t slept all night.

“I’m fine mom, just went to Shouto’s school to help out, then came home and took a shower. I was going to call you, I swear.” I may be in my late twenties but my mother still treated me like a baby at times. I couldn’t blame her though, I am her only child and well it’s been rough.

“Well, you could have just texted me.” Even though I couldn’t see her, I could see the pout on her face.

“I’m sorry mom. Wait what time is it there? It’s nine at night here.”

“Well my dear daughter it’s 8 am here and I have not slept because I thought my beautiful child was missing or hurt somewhere!” Shaking my head I knew that, that was coming, guilt trip. Classic Emiko.

“Oh my god mom, don’t start that.” I chuckled, stepping out of my room to check on Hawks. He still had his arm over his eyes, but his mouth was moving like he was talking to himself.

“I wouldn’t have to if you would just call your mother.” I sighed as I went back into my room. I put her on speaker as I went around the room looking for my hair tie. “Oh Quinnie, I wanted to ask if you're doing anything next month on the twentith?”

“No, not that I can't think of why?” Taking my hair in both hands I put it up in a messy bun, black and burgundy curls sticking up out of the bun. I continued to try and fix it when she dropped a bombshell.

“Well, I’ll be coming to visit for six months!” I halted my movements, staring at the phone wide-eyed.

“Wha-” I was going to say more only to hear a crash in my living room.

“Fuck!” I heard Hawks shout soon after the crash.

“What was that?!” My mom’s voice went back to worry as I grabbed the phone from my desk and turned it off the speaker.

“Hey mom I gotta go, I’ll call you back later!” Without even hearing her response I hung up the phone, tossing it back on my bed as I ran out of the room.

There in the middle of the living room floor was Hawks, face down on the ground, his fist gently pounding on the floor, muttering a string of cuss words.

“What the hell Hawks, are you all right?!” I ran to his side, trying to grab his hand to stop the pounding. Once the pounding stopped, I ran my hands through his soft blonde hair. I was trying to coax him into turning his head to look at me.

“Come on dove tell me what’s wrong.” I continued to rub his head for the next five minutes and nothing happened.

“Hawks…” I gently grabbed his face, turning it towards me. The second my eyes landed on his face I couldn’t help but smile. He had fallen asleep from me petting his head. He looked so serene while he slept. I’ve seen his face countless times, more so in my head but still, I’ve never seen him look like this.

“Alright, you big bird let’s go on the couch.” I used my powers again to move him over to the couch. I figured the most comfortable position for him would be on his stomach, seeing as how even though he had barely any wings it would be uncomfortable on his back. I picked up his head to slide a small pillow under it and covered him with my blanket. I squatted down, running my hand through his silky hair once again.

“Goodnight Hawks.” I stared at him a little longer than I should have. I stood up ready to go call my mother again when I heard him mumble.

“Quinn...please….” I looked at him, my brows furrowed in confusion.

‘Is he dreaming of me?’ I returned down to my squat like before.

“Don’t...don’t go..” His face started to contort into a sad expression, a single tear falling from his eye.

I don’t know what possessed me to do it but I wiped his tear with my finger and leaned closer to him.

“I’m right here Keigo.” I gently pressed my lips against his temple. His soft hair brushing against my nose, tickling it. Pulling away I saw a slight smile form on his lips, his expression went back to the beautiful serene one.

He finally settled down after another minute or so, now snoring his life away. I had moved to my room, after putting his jacket in the wash and just sat in the middle of my bed, hugging a plushie of Mirko, as I thought back to the almost kiss.

‘What the hell was that?!’ His golden eyes replayed in my head, and how low his voice was when he said ‘The only woman that can keep up with me. I like the sound of that.’ I could feel my cheeks burn as I blushed.

“What the hell are you blushing for Quinn!? It’s just Hawks, a wild card, a guy that's five years younger than you. He's an arrogant, big-mouthed, rude, smart assed, man. It’s not like you lik-” I covered my mouth before the last words came out of my mouth.

Shaking my head I knew I had to get my mind off of the guy, so I texted Mirko to see if she wanted to go for a workout in the morning. Knowing that a good workout would set my head straight.

The next morning I woke up, my pajama’s all ruffled, black, and burgundy curls all over the place. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed onto the cold wooden floors. With my eyes, half-closed I slid my feet all around in search of my Winnie the pooh slippers. Once I had them on my feet I stood up, stretching my arms above my head, and that dull ache came shooting from my back again.

“Fucking feral child.” I cussed as I remembered exactly why my back hurt. Walking through the bedroom door I made my way to the kitchen, ready to make my coffee and breakfast before my workout with my good friend Rumi.

I glanced at the couch as I passed it to check on Hawks, who had one leg and arm hanging off the furniture while his other arm was slung over the back of it, and drooling. He was drooling on my nice pillow.

“God Hawks, you really can be an animal at times.” I turned my face up in disgust. ‘How could I possibly think about kissing him last night, look at him.’

I turned on my Keurig to heat up, making my way to the fridge. Grabbing a couple of eggs, onions, scallions, and cheese, I decided on making a nice healthy omelet and maybe some fruit on the side.

“Where am I?!” Hawks shot up from the couch screaming, nearly making me drop my plate.

“Holy shit Hawks! You scared the hell outta me, you damn bird brain!” If there was one thing I hated, it was jump scares of any kind.

“Quinn? How did I get here?” He slowly stood from the couch, looking around the apartment. I know I saw him last night but for some reason, he looked different to me as if he was more attractive. We were about the same height but he looked taller. The was his black and gold muscle shirt clung to him like saran wrap, showing off every definition of his chest and arm muscle. His hair messier more so than usual, lips puffy from sleep.

‘Stop it, Quinn!’ I shook my head as I placed my plate on the kitchen island.

“You flew here after a bad run-in with some low-grade villains.” I walked up to him, putting the back of my hand against his head. “Well, at least you don’t have a fever. You took quite the beating dove.” I pulled my hand from his forehead, going down I took his chin in between my thumb and pointer finger.

“The ointment I put on your lips seemed to start working and your eye isn’t as swollen as before.” As I examined his face I could see the slight blush forming on his cheeks.

“Sorry to have bothered you, firebird.” His voice was soft as if he was in trouble for something.

“You weren’t a bother Hawks, just next time please call me if you need backup. I’d hate to see my friends injured like that.” I had to remind myself he was my friend, and that’s it.

I saw him nod his head, his eyes roamed over my body, before coming back up to my eyes. “Nice jammies you got there princess.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

It wasn’t till that moment I remembered what I was wearing. “Shut up you ass! It’s my house and I can be as comfortable as I want, I could walk around naked if I wanted to.”

“Now that’s when I should come here!” I pressed a finger to the bruised area on his cheek causing him to wince. “Oh yeah!?”

Hawks grabbed me by my waist, his fingers started to move fast, tickling me. I tried to move out of his grasp but he was stronger, even though he was beaten up.

“Hawks stop!” I couldn’t help but laugh hysterically, tears falling from my eye. “Come on stop!!” No matter what he did not stop. I moved slightly back, the back of my knees hitting the coffee table. I was about to fall over when Hawks wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling my body flush against his.

“Hey Quinn, you ready for the work...out..? My, my what have I hopped in on?” We both looked at the door to see Mirko standing there, her spare key and carrot keychain hanging from her hands.

I pushed Hawks away from me, fixing my top that had ridden up. “Nothing, just some guy pretending to be hurt so he could take advantage of my kindness.”

Mirko pretended to gasp, her hand coming up to her chest. “Hawks how could you?!”

“Ha-ha-ha, you’re both hysterical.” He had pulled out his phone from his pocket. It looked like he was texting someone.

“I’m gonna go change real quick.” I walked back into my room, leaving the bunny and the bird alone.

It only took me ten minutes to change into my workout clothes, which consisted of a hot pink sports bra, black biker shorts, and a pair of running shoes. My hair was pulled up in a high ponytail and my hands wrapped like boxers, knowing full well that I and Mirko were going to do hand to hand combat.

Making sure my hands were wrapped properly I sauntered back into the living room.

“Really!?” I heard Mirko yell, as she laughed in Hawks’ face. His face had turned red as she continued to laugh.

“Shut up Rumi!” Hawks hissed between his teeth once he noticed my presence in the room.

“What did I miss?” I looked between the two. Mirko was trying to collect herself from laughing so much and Hawks looked panicked, his eyes wide as he kept glancing at me and at Mirko.

“Hawks said-” With a quick movement, Hawks jumped over the couch to get to Mirko as he covered her mouth with his hand.

He had one of those fake smiles plastered on his lips. “I said nothing!” He looked back at Mirko, his face turned serious as he whispered in her large bunny-like ears.

“Okay…” I walked past them going to the kitchen, I still had my suspicions about the two. “I’m just gonna eat my breakfast and then we can head out.” I reached down into the fridge to get a water bottle when I felt someone touch the bruise on my back.

“That’s a nasty bruise you got there, Q.” I had flinched a little from her touch.

“Yeah I went to U.A. yesterday to help class 1-A train and that kid Bakugou threw me into the side of the building. It hurt like a bitch but I’ll be alright.”

“That was the one who won the sports festival right?” Hawks was next to touch the mark, but his touch sent chills down my spine. His soft touch against my bare skin felt like icicles against my warm skin.

“Yeah.” I didn’t mean to sound cold when I said it, but I couldn't help it. Moving away from his touch I closed the fridge.

I took a swig of the water, glancing at his face, he looked puzzled but before he could say anything his phone went off.

“Hello?” I turned around walking away from the two of us. Mirko took this opportunity to talk to me.

“I thought you had fire quirk, not an ice one, cause that was cold.” She stood next to me with her arms crossed, her foot tapping against the floor.

“I’ll talk to you about it later, it’s a lot.”

“I’m gonna head out ladies, my ride's here.” Hawks made his way to the front door. I didn't want to be like this towards him but right now he was messing with my head, and I needed space.

“I’ll have my uncle’s sidekick bring your coat back when it’s cleaned.” Not even sparing him a glance, I went to my forgotten food. I could feel Mirko’s stern stare on me.

Hawks just nodded as he sent a wave over to Mirko before shutting my door.

“Do you mind telling me what the fuck is going on with you?” Mirko is the type of person to not hold back on anything.

“First we can just go workout, I got a lot of stress to release.”

“Fine but the minute I beat your ass in combat, you gotta talk Hunny-bun.”

All I could do was smile at her. “Who says you're gonna win?”

Throwing myself on the floor of the boxing ring, my chest was rapidly falling up and down as I tried to catch my breath. Mirko was a monster when it came to combat, she never held back, not even for a second.

“You’ve gotten better, but nowhere near beating me.” She flopped down next to me, chugging her water, then passing it to me.

“That's because you're insane!” I heard her low chuckle as I dowsed my face with the water. “Seriously Mirko, like what the hell? Are you even real?”

“Whatever, don’t think I forgot about this morning now spill!” She gave me a swift punch in my arm.

So I told her, I told her everything. From the lighthouse moment to the moment she walked in on our tickle fight. Tucking my arms behind my head I just laid on the floor, looking at the ceiling.

“I don’t know, what do you think? Am I crazy?”

“Nah I don’t think you're crazy.” She was still sitting next to me, her arm was across my stomach, making her lean over my body. I’ve only known her for a short amount of time, but she was the first hero to be genuine with me. Besides Hawks that is, but he was a different case.

“What should I do? I want us to stay friends and just friends, but the sexual tension is so thick you can cut it with a knife.” Her long hair was tickling my exposed stomach. Reaching down I played with it between my fingers. “I just have to get my mind off of him.”

“I know a perfect way.” She leaned down, her face coming closer to mine. “You need to be fucked, that way all that pent up sexual tension could be transferred to someone else.”

“Oh yeah and by who?” I laughed at just the thought of it.

Mirko had a devilish grin on her face, that scared me a little.

“Mirko, this better work.” I looked at my friend as she walked in front of me. I had to admit she looked hot. She had on a pantsuit, but instead of a shirt, she wore nothing under her blazer. A long gold chain with the initial M hung from the end of it and she had on black stiletto heels. We walked past a group of men who couldn’t help but stare at us as we passed, mouths to the ground.

“Oh trust me, with you looking that sexy, it’s gonna work.” She wrapped her arm around mine as she pulled me to the front entrance. I did have to admit I did feel sexy in my dress. It was a baby blue, satin bodycon spaghetti strap mini dress, that came up mid-thigh. The way it hugged my curves was perfect, and it was low enough to show off my cleavage but not enough that I had to worry about my boobs popping out when I danced. The sound of my clear open toe heels could be heard, stepping in rhythm with Mirko’s.

“Hey, big red.” Mirko stopped at the entrance of the club she decided to take me to. A man that had to have been at least seven foot tall, stood at the door.

“I feel like it’s been a while Mirko. How have you been?”

“Same old, same old! Just taking my new friend from the states out on the town. Phoenix, this is Big Red, Big Red, meet Phoenix.”

“Nice to meet you.” I went to give him a handshake but he just scooped me up in one arm, lifting me into the air. “Oh, we're a hugger I see!” I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yeah, I should have warned you.” Big red put me back down on the ground. “Is our table ready, I called Daichi earlier.”

“Yeah! Come on in ladies.” Big Red opened the door for us. As soon as he did the bass from the music vibrated through my body, the lights on the ceiling moved in time with the music, people singing and dancing along with the DJ. It was amazing.

“I see Daichi!” Mirko shouted over the music, pulling my hand as she led me through the crowd.

“It’s about time you go here Mirko!” When she finally stopped I could see a fairly tall guy, he had long black hair, tied up in a messy bun. His features were that of a god, his gaze would have anybody stopping in their tracks. His dark sharp eyes would pull you in, while his charming smile had you blushing like a schoolgirl with a crush. He wore a simple black and white flower-patterned button-down with his sleeves rolled up and black jeans. Even with something so simple he looked so hot.

“Sorry, my friend took a while to get ready. Phoenix, this is Daichi, one of my best friends and owner of the club. This is Phoenix, she’s a pro from the states.” Mirko took a seat in the black leather horseshoe booth, pouring herself a glass of vodka.

“Nice to meet you Daichi.” I stuck my hand out for a handshake. His large hand grasped it gently.

“To meet a beautiful woman such as yourself, the pleasure is all mine.”

I smirked at him as I took a seat next to Mirko. “Your right Mirko this may work.”

The night passed on and the drinks kept flowing and I got closer and closer to Daichi. I learned that he was a year older than me, quirkless, and no relations to heroes besides being friends with Mirko. He was the opposite of Hawks and that's what I need.

“So Phoenix does a woman with your stature dance with a quirkless man?” He stood up, his hand out for me to take it.

“If the man is you, I’ll make an exception.” I handed my purse to Mirko as she flirted with someone she met at the bar.

Daichi guided me to the dance floor, just as a song with a slow sensual beat blared through the speakers. Once we got to the dance floor, Daichi turned me around, his hands were on my hips. My body started to sway with the beat against his, my butt was grinding against his pelvis.

With each seductive roll, his body met mine, with my back pressed against his chest, I could feel the alcohol run through me. I let it take over my body, not caring about anything. I just wanted to feel the man behind me as he slowly ground himself against me.

There were no words exchanged between us as we continued our sinful dance, or as we made our way to my apartment. Even as he pinned me against the wall, his lips hot on my neck, leaving a trail of kisses down to my chest. His cock, hard and pressed against my leg or when he moaned my name all night while I let him fuck me. I was doing this for myself, I needed to get that image of Hawks’ smiling face out of my head. And if that meant I had to find a surrogate for my desires for him so be it.

‘This is just how it has to be Hawks.’

#bnha hawks #bnhabookclub #hawks x oc #bnha #mha hawks #keigo takami x oc #takami keigo #bnha x reader #bnha fic #slow burn

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