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ryansjane · 3 years

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Can't wait to read your post on SeanWhite!!! Absolutely loved this episode and their development

okay so I'll highjack this ask to make my analysis there then hehe! I also adored this episode, and the more I think about it, the more I'm in love with it! let us start bc that shit is, as always, gonna be long as fuck

why not me ep 6 is extremely important for seanwhite

so something that fascinated me this episode, on top of being fucking brilliant, is how it feels like its own arc inside of the main story if that makes sense. in this episode, we had sean finally break down his last barriers and trust white/black completely, before being betrayed by white in the worst possible way in his eyes. let us see why I adored the development of seanwhite in this episode & why it made white's betrayal feel even worse.

we start the episode with white and sean having been "kidnapped", which we quickly learn was just another test to prepare for the upcoming mission. but white's feelings in that scene are very much real as he believes sean's life to be in danger. (see how white rests his head against sean's back when the "gangster" fires his gun in the picture above. a very cute detail that shows him seeking closeness to the person he trusts the most & feels the most protected by.) that entire scene though, whether we the viewers believed it was real at some point or not, is still very stressful and tense as white cannot handle these types of situations well at all. his emotions are more than palpable and it affects the viewer, and, even though he won't show it, sean as well. and white, in typical white fashion, betrays the rest of the gang to save sean. not only this response to the situation would make sense for white no matter who was being threatened to be killed, but here it's sean who we're talking about, THE driving force of white towards changing his ways of thinking from a future politician to a vigilante. the man who white most definitely is attracted to & said he wanted him to "listen to me and trust me too."

so anyways, obviously white is affected by thinking sean is gonna die, and put his life above protecting the rest of the gang, which is a very powerful move. that being said his reaction to be scolded, abundant tears falling on his face, is even more powerful to me because it is white SHOWING sean he cares about him, something black would've never done. and sean knows it & is affected by it. I think this is the scene that makes white takes full conscience of his feelings, because as we know it's only when we have or are about to lose something that we realize how much it matters to us.

in the next scene, seanwhite bicker about the plan & that's when the main problem of the episode starts, which is a difference in value between sean & white. sean wants to make tawi suffer no matter what, even if that causes people to drink something that has been altered, whereas white doesn't want to involve tawi's buyers, and more so worries about how society will perceive sean's actions. we can see that, despite already having changed a lot, having cut off his relationship with his dad & not having taken the political job he'd been given, white hasn't 100% changed his views either. how people perceive you is still very important to him, whereas sean doesn't care one bit & just wants the result to be that tawi suffers.

the next scene we have right after this one is sean being drunk on the bed. it felt a little random to me at first, but actually made a whole lot of sense, as sean was both shaken by white's betrayal of the gang in the fake kidnapping, but also mostly got angry about tawi again & most probably thought about his father. he then drowns his sorrows in alcohol, but I find it very telling that he does so alone, knowing that white sleeps in his room. being drunk is quite a vulnerable position to be in, and we're gonna see that sean doesn't hold back and allows white to see him like that. I also LOVE how for the first time of the show, white comes into the room and says "I want to talk things out." after ALL the shit that seanwhite haven't said, all the tension, attraction and confusion, this time white doesn't run away from confrontation & is even the one to instigate it.

and when sean confronts him about having changed, this time white responds to it heads on, in a way that actually feels less shady than denying it like he's done until now. and for ONCE, the two of them talk like grown ass adults capable of communication, a miracle!!! even with sean completely hammered, they have the most calm & mature discussion they've had until now, clearly eased by, yes, alcohol, but also the intimacy of their shared room. it also seems like white has finally embraced the gang fully & actually wants to belong in it, as well as sean being more open about how much this mission means to him & how invested in it he is (which again, is a false feeling of safety for sean & consequently the viewer who will get betrayed by white's action later on in the episode.) but anyways I love this scene because it's the first time these two feel like a team, that, yes, still bicker & have their differences, but truly wanna work together no matter what. and that... is kinda beautiful. especially accompanied by drunk sean who is truly priceless & very handsy. once again these two finally feel like friends if not more, and I loved seeing sean so vulnerable and white so open. BUT it also is interesting to note that every vulnerable scene that sean has is either when he's asleep or drunk, which means he still has quite a bit of opening up to do.

speaking of being vulnerable when asleep, sean has another nightmare that night, which shows us a lot more backstory to sean's father's death, as well as remind us how young sean was at the time with an amazing performance by off who kills it as always. what I love about this nightmare scene is that it goes almost the exact same as the first one, clearly establishing a pattern, and ends up again with sean seeking comfort with white, by hugging him close. we can see that white is just as worried & soft with him as the first time, and while this scene doesn't bring us any new information on their relationship, it does show a repetition of trust & a habit of taking care of each other forming. I also LOVE the waking up scene, where even though once again sean plays it shocked that they went to sleep hugging, there seems to be way more closeness than in the first scene of that type, showing again that they're closer & more comfortable together. there is even banter between them, with white kicking sean with his feet & sean waking white up repeatedly, which truly shows how far they've come.

then we have a small but meaningful moment during the plan explaining scene, when white tastes the bitter powder and sean immediately gives him a candy or gum to make the taste disappear. this is actually a very meaningful gesture, as up until now sean has only helped white in life & death situations, and not just being mildly uncomfortable for a couple of minutes like here. yet he doesn't hesitate, and pulls that gum out of literally thin air to help white out. I'd say that's love bitches!

after that though, we have white promising to sean he won't jeopardize the plan, which... we all know how that goes 😬 and once the mission starts, sadly the differences of opinions between sean & white only continue, with white being against sean knocking out the employees while sean is way more heartless with it by saying "everything I have to do, I'll do it." we keep confirming how far sean is ready to go to in order to get his revenge against tawi, and how white clearly doesn't agree with his ways at all. the issue becomes that white still wants to be part of the mission, even when sean gives him a way out multiple times. it shows how confused about it all he is: he doesn't think the same way he used to, but there's also a LONG way until he starts thinking like sean, if he ever does.

AND THEN, we have my favorite scene (probably, actually every scene is my favorite lol), when after white basically criticized every step of the mission, sean finally shows him that despite his cool appearance, he's also stressed & scared. this is a very vulnerable admission for sean to make, him who's always acting so cool & detached unless asleep or drunk, and I particularly enjoy the directorial choice to zoom onto their faces for most of the scene to make the scene feel even more intimate. once again, despite them having been in a disagreement for the whole mission, they still feel like a team. sean can't fully work if white doesn't work alongside him too. and here we see a side of sean under all of that pain and thirst for revenge, a side that, as we've seen in the nightmare flashback scene, is actually just a young adult having to deal with too much way too young. once again those two have become softer about those things & actually communicate, which is a true miracle. it almost seems like white is convinced now, as he apologizes and continues to show his support to sean, even if he disapproves of his ways of doing things. and I LOVE how soft their voices are in that scene, even though they're supposed to be fighting. once again we see how long of a way they've come from the earlier episodes.

and then, sadly, we have the gut-wrenching betrayal of white who does not pour the bitter powder in. that scene is as frustrating for the viewer as it is for sean who watches it happen through the cctv & can't do anything, even though he trusted white enough to keep him on the mission even after he betrayed them during the fake kidnapping & showed multiple times that he didn't agree with the plan. yet sean did, probably from a mix of remembering the old unstoppable black & trusting this new "black." I can't fully say WHY white betrays sean like this as I myself am struggling to see why he did it, as even though, yes, he didn't agree with the plan from the start, he promised sean he wouldn't jeapardize it & messes it up right in front of sean's nose and not secretly like when he poured the gas in the sink in the ep 2 mission. I do think most of it is impulse though, and white regrets it pretty much immediately. at least I hope so, and there’s clearly a plan he has with the picture of the tank he’s taken. we see sean in such a rage that he leaves the cctv room without erasing the footage like he said he would... and confronts white, though they're interrupted by tawi's right hand which cuts short to a confrontation & makes them go into survival mode.

you will note though, that even having been betrayed, sean still opens the door & lets white go first, that he still helps him fight tawi's right hand even though he could escape freely & leave him, AND that he lets him go first through the barbed wires so he can arrive first. that shows that even though sean might be enraged, he still cares for white & ngl, that shit is touching as hell.

THAT BEING SAID, when they arrive to the motorcycles, that's when sean can really express his rage. and @fck-inspector-m pointed it out to me, but this is such a quiet fight. it's none of the usual "grandiose" ones with sound effects and choreography, this time it feels... real. sean is hurting white bc he feels betrayed, he who has been betrayed by the justice system & the entire society for his father's case. he who has felt all alone in the past 4 years, trying to make his father's death count for something. trying to make a change. and white ruined that for him, despite how much he trusted him, despite his promise. how can sean not feel completely & utterly betrayed in that moment?

and so, that's how the episode ends. an episode that started so hopeful for these two, finally building a relationship & trusting each other, to white doing the worst thing he could probably ever do to sean & sean choking him for it. this episode truly was a roller-coaster, and I wonder how it's all gonna get settled when now it feels like sean & white are further apart than they ever were in the first place. p'nuchie did say ep 7 is the episode they start to fall in love, so... we'll see 👀👀👀 hope you enjoyed this analysis, it took me so long haha but I really enjoy doing those :')

xxx

#answers #not me #not me the series #seanwhite #not me analysis

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gardenerian · 3 years

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I have a question: do you think Fiona saying that sometimes people with bipolar disorder needed to be taken care of is ableist? Or just in general if someone thinks that?

whew. it's been a while since we did loaded question hour, hasn't it? let's think about this:

(usual disclaimer that i do not speak for everyone with bipolar disorder, and i am only coming at this with my own thoughts and experiences in mind.)

if i'm remembering correctly, there are a couple of moments in 5x11 where she says something like this. when the MP asks if ian is unable to care for himself, fiona answers, "sometimes, yes." later she tells sean that she wonders if she'll end up taking care of ian.

the way i see it is this: fiona's early perception of bipolar disorder and what it means is heavily influenced by monica. "she put us through hell." she thinks someone will need to care for ian, and given past experience, it will likely have to be her.

and guess what? she's right. someone does have to care for ian. in these murky s4/s5 days, ian needs care. he needs supervision, he needs someone to help him get on track. whether that person has to be her... i think we know that it would never solely fall on her. not with ian. and it's unreasonable to expect one person to step up and be that kind of caretaker. it should never fall to one person. but fiona has often had take on that role. so she's preparing to take it now. it is hard for them to see a way beyond these extremes, especially since they never got beyond them with monica.

she fears, given the way things are going, that the experience will be like they all had with monica. that it could be a lifetime of pain. but she still encourages ian (and others) to be active in his care. fiona is gearing up to care for ian in a way she never thought she'd have to, but she's still hoping to mitigate the worst of it and assist him in seeking his own help.

but the fact of the matter is that sometimes we are unable to care for ourselves. especially when unmedicated, episodes can be so severe that basic self-care (grooming, eating, hydrating) feels impossible. these things are often the first to go when it gets bad. and beyond that, sometimes we cannot see reality for what it is. sometimes we are at risk. and sometimes being alone is not safe.

but this goes for just about any condition. sometimes people experience flare ups of mental or physical illnesses that take them out of commission for a while. sometimes people need extra support, sometimes people need full-on, round the clock care. and as much as ian does not like to admit this (and nor do i), it is a uncomfortable truth we must live with. it's not a given that it will happen, but it is something to plan for.

i do not think it is ableist to say this. we are human, we need help.

does fiona need to take the time to learn this disorder as it relates to ian? yes. does she need work to let go of some of the resentment she holds towards monica in order to see him clearly? yes. does she need to both care for him and trust him to learn to care for himself? yes and yes.

but hey! she does this. they all do this. that's one of the things i find so special about this storyline. by the time ian has stabilized (into s6, i guess), they seem to trust the handle he has on himself. i would always like to see more of this journey, but we do see her learn to relax into this new reality. i won't touch s8 in this regard, but the point stands.

where we would get into trouble is if we were to remove agency from mentally ill (or physically ill or chronically ill) people or dehumanize/infantilize them in some way. there are plenty of gripes to be had with this arc, but i don't think this is one of them.

but that's just me. what do you think?

side note, sometimes my feathers do get ruffled when she says "when they're manic, they can be destructive" because it's TRUE but the way it SOUNDS is terrible to hear 😭 the usage of they hurts me and maybe i am just sensitive to that, but ah! it makes sense and i do not consider it bad writing, it just stings!

#short answer: no #aaand now i will log off and sit outside byyyeeeee #mel answers #bipolar tw #mental illness

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zeta-in-de-walls · 3 years

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Hey, so I think my fondness for Tommy’s style of lore might’ve made it a touch harder to enjoy Techno’s style of SMP content. I’m feeling like its a preference thing anyway... it’s hard to articulate the issue but I’m gonna try. xD

Techno’s latest stream didn’t feel immersive enough basically.

i think some people have complained about Techno’s tendency to joke and break the fourth wall even in tense moments but as a fan of Tommy ‘there’s a reason I gave up my discs and you spent £200 on Etsy for a suit’ Innit, I can’t say cracking self-aware jokes is a problem in itself. But I feel as if Techno’s stream lacked gravity for me, failing to create tension and uncertainty in scenes which needed them.

While Tommy jokes a lot, it feels like part of his character and his character’s use of humour as a shield when he feels scared means it can still help to display his character’s feelings so it doesn’t break immersion for me but helps to give him more character. Tommy’s character is openly vulnerable enough that I feel like the audience can always read into his feelings and the motivations behind his actions.

With Techno, I struggle more to read him. I find myself uncertain if his humour is part of his character or if its really the CC joking. To what extent is his humour a way to cope with stressful situations and hide his inner turmoil? Or is it more a way of showing he is relatively composed, able to joke about because he still feels in control of the situation.

I feel like there’s two ways to read this latest stream and I find myself slightly dissatisfied with both. Either the prison was a trap he was not prepared for and he’s out of his depth and is genuinely distressed. Or he’s not that worried because he had a plan all along and the developments were not outside his expectations. (Note that he doesn’t need to know exactly what might happen or be certain of everything, what’s important is that he is confident in a way to escape thus he’s still in control.)

Either option would be fine with me in terms of story and Techno’s arc. (I think him being genuinely out of his depth would be slightly preferred for me as I think it’d be cool but it also suits him to be ready for anything) What dissatisfies me is instead the execution. I’m not confident in my reading.

Techno’s performance - the way he joked around and gave indications of a plan - lead me to prefer the reading that he does indeed have a plan. The issue is then the structure of the stream. It felt like it was all leading up to a twist where Techno gets trapped in and things go wrong. If Techno has a plan, I would prefer he share it more with the audience, share that he’s suspicious, that he is really looking into thinks, that he’s here to gather information no matter what. I dislike it when the audience is more in the dark than the viewpoint character. Also, even if he has a plan, he can still show lots of doubt and worry and hope that his worst expectations won’t be realised. I want to really get into his head. Again, that’s probably my preference towards Tommy ‘chat if I was the traitor I’d tell you!’ Innit who very very rarely hides stuff from his audience. We get surprised along with his character when things go wrong.

I’m sure one might think it could spoil things, knowing to expect things to go wrong and the twist might be less thrilling. But the trade-off for really leaning into sharing what Techno’s thinking is more than worth it. Assuming Techno’s plan means relying on his friends to save him means that Techno is putting himself in a position of extreme vulnerability and is entirely dependent on someone else helping him. He’s never done anything like this before and it would be a big step for Techno who finds is hard to trust people because he’s been betrayed before. Surely if betrayals hurt him so much, he would struggle to come up with this sort of plan? I would love to dig into that more. This would really demonstrate what a huge sacrifice it is trying to help Dream. It’s just really, really interesting. But I’m not really given anything to work with here, I haven’t seen Techno display any conflict about this plan or what a big thing it would be to trust his friends. If there was a period between being betrayed and learning to trust others again, it happened off-screen. Which means its all theory, not canon.

And if it was the other option - that Techno was genuinely caught off guard with the audience, then I’d really expect a little more expression of vulnerability. Just a little more panic and alarm to sell me on this being unexpected. Maybe some regret, some anger, there’s a lot he’d feel and I’d like it if more of it was displayed. It doesn’t need to be super extreme and jokes are still fine, but I would want to feel like he’s joking to hide his distress. (And gosh you know I’d really love to see his character display vulnerability - it would be such great development. My issue with Techno having a plan is that it means he’s not really being defeated and experiencing a low-moment here - which is something I’d love to see.)

#meta #analysis #my thoughts #dsmp crit #dsmp meta #i really think id be more into it if i was more into techno and less into tommys content #the way tommy does lore is simply my favourite though what can i say #xD #tommyinnit #also gosh i hate misinformation driving the plot #its my least favourite thing #and when important information is kept from the audience just for a twist #twists are temporary #character exploration is forever #feel free to debate me about this though #i have a certain perspective which colours how i see things #ill never pretend otherwise

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nutton-of-tata · 3 years

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I just really like Akihiko

I think of Akihiko as one of the most goofy characters in all of sihjr. He’s the type of character that really grows on you the more you read. Earlier chapters, he’s the token ‘seme’, yknow the characteristics. Stoic, toxic in several aspects, and rude. But at the same time, he’s not emotionless. He’s not boring at all to be honest, he’s so free spirited but reserved for his own emotional protection when it comes to people he doesn’t fully trust. His whole family life is quite sad, and his lack of self care shows often.

He thinks highly of himself, but at the same time, he can’t take care of himself and it’s difficult to love others. Personally, I always saw that Akihiko’s crush on Takahiro was not actually ‘love’, but an unhealthy longing for care/affection he never received by another man before. Takahiro was not someone he could fully be himself with, noting that he hid his dirty sides away (Both literally and metaphorically cause DAMN HIS HOUSE GROSS) to not be judged/hated. But with Misaki, he managed to unwind. And through Misaki, he grows as a person.

He’s a character that really changes throughout, losing a lot of his “bad” aspects as the manga goes on. He’s grown into a very loving and understanding man with Misaki, though still gets into fits of jealousy/rage (COUGH COUGH THE WORST ARC COUGH THE IJUUIN ARC COUGH), but learns to control his jealousy/violent sides after dating Misaki for so long. Now he shows his weakest sides to Misaki. He can whole heartedly say he would do anything if it meant making Misaki happy and untroubled. In recent extras, he literally tries learning how to cook so he can be prepared for when Misaki works fulltime at Marukawa.

Despite his personal issues and struggles, as well as his ‘dead’ personality, he’s also very expressive in other ways, such as his words and actions. He’s quite literally a teddybear himself with how much he loves clinging and cuddling others he can let his guard down with, especially his friends and his own boyfriend, being Misaki. He’s very much a baby.

He loves attention/affection, playing with toys/collecting them, not eating his green peppers cause they’re yucky, and trying to help around the house despite being awful at chores. He’s literally ADORABLE. HE’S A SWEETHEART...HE CARES SO MUCH...HES AN ANGEL

That’s his character. A big baby.

This man right here, is baby. And also very, very hot

#junjou romantica #usami akihiko #and this is why i wanna suck his dick

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 4 years

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So I watched 10.09 recently, and it has that part where Dean tells a story about him basically being almost roofied as a teen, but somehow it ends up framed as the funny joke and yet another proof that John "did what he could", and I kind of hate this? And it's the same episode in which MoC!Dean killed guys that kidnapped and tried to rape Claire, and you'd think writers would've addressed the parallels and acknowledge that Dean could've been triggered by this situation. 1/2

2/2 But in the end, it's never addressed, and the whole situation is framed as the proof that Dean is evil now. And I'm not even sure what I am trying to say, but with that being the show's approach back in s10, I'm not surprised about the finale anymore. Guess we should've known?

That’s an excellent angle to look at the issue because the Mark of Cain arc is a clear example of how people with different experiences will see the same thing in wildly different ways. There’s this phase of season 10 where everyone is like “oh no Dean is Getting Worse” and when you look at what Dean is doing... you actually go “...good for him”.

Let’s give Caesar what belongs to Caesar. It’s not “the writers” in this case, it’s Dabb. Plenty of other writers don’t fall into this John apologism thing. Just look at how the episode before Lebanon, written by Buckner and Ross Leming, says that sometimes John would temporarily kick Dean out because he was “pissed at him” despite Dean always taking his side to mantain the peace. It almost seems like a statement to sprinkle some salt given what Dabb does in Lebanon, you know? Maybe not, but there is a tension between “John was shitty” writers and “John did his best” writers.

In hindsight, we gave Dabb too much of the benefit of the doubt. We were like, weeell, that’s supposed to be way the characters perceive the truth, which is distorted by the trauma... But now it’s obvious that he truly believed in the John-did-his-best version. He brought him back and got Mary back with him. No matter what happened to the finale, the network didn’t print those pictures of John and Mary to hang on Sam’s wall. He never took Dean’s abuse seriously and it shows.

The “anedocte” of Dean getting drugged and “saved” by John from being raped is obviously there to parallel him with Claire. Which works! It’s so weird because it’s like. You are soooo close to getting the point. Younger Dean was assaulted just like this teenage girl is assaulted and Dean saves her... but apparently John yelling at those people is a good way of dealing with the issue, while murdering child traffickers is an overraction thus bad.

That’s the problem, isn’t it? That Dean’s murder spree is framed as an overreaction. Sam is like “tell me you had to do this! tell me it was you or them!” - the answer to which (by the narrative) is obviously no, it wasn’t self defense, he just killed them because he could. He just murdered those men for no reason except he felt like being murdery. And the audience is supposed to be like “oh no! Dean is murdery for no reason except for murderiness! That’s bad!”.

But it’s a power fantasy, isn’t it? Going on a murder spree on rapists and traffickers. I bet any people who’s been violated like that has fantasized of doing the exact thing Dean does here. Killing them all.

Dean had the physical strength and skill to kill them all, why shouldn’t he kill them? (I mean, in real life I’m against private justice because I’m a fan of the state of law, but the Supernatural universe obviously works on different principles than the state of law. Again, it’s a fictional narrative that plays out as a fantasy for the audience, so.)

So what was Dabb’s intention? I’m afraid it’s the worst one. “John Winchester’s not going to win any Number One Dad awards, you know? But, you know, damn if he wasn’t there when we needed him”. What the fuck, Dabb? It’s been established since season 1 that John WASN’T there when they needed him. Which... I’m afraid... leads us to the Cas-Claire plot in the episode. Cas has fucked off with Jimmy’s body leaving Claire on her own. Parallels how John wasn’t going to win wny Number One Dad awards. But! Cas is there when Claire Really Needs Him i.e. when she’s about to be raped by older men. Parallels how John was there when Dean Really Needed Him i.e. when he was about to be raped by older men.

I think the point is to say, Cas kinda sucked because he took Claire’s dad away but hey! He’s actually a good figure for Claire because he gets there in time to prevent her from being raped. Just like (ew) John kinda sucked as a father because hunting and stuff, but hey! He’s actually a good figure for Dean because he got there in time to prevent him from being raped.

It’s pretty yucky. Literally NOBODY wanted a parallel between Cas and John. But he made one. And he made one to absolve Cas from the guilt he carried for what he did to Claire (Claire’s mother is a mother so who fucking cares about her. She’s basically a Blurry Wife(TM), she’s only a tool for Claire’s arc, Cas apparently only cares about the harm he did the child, not the wife, for some reason.) and to absolve Cas from his guilt it absolves John too. Don’t worry, being a parent is hard. You often screw up. But you can *looks at smudged writing on hand* prevent the kid from being raped by predatory adults and everything’s fine now.

It’s not really important if the child suffered hunger or whatever, the only important thing is that they don’t get raped, because that’s bad, everything else is just a little detail.

All Dabb got with that scene was to paint Sam as extremely unsympathetic because he’s no longer a child, he’s a full adult now and still thinks of that episode at the CBGB as a funny story. That’s not a good look. It almost makes you think that the writer himself saw it as a funny story. Lol teenage boy biting more than he can chew. But then why the Claire parallel? The Claire scene onviously is not supposed to be anything but horrific. I'll give Dabb the benefit of the doubt on this specific thing.

It’s weird, yes, because Dabb wrote Dark Side of the Moon where he establishes that John was a bad husband/father even before tragedy hit the family. But apparently that’s the “not going to win any Number One Dad awards” part, I suppose? I guess he intended to write John as this flawed, ~complex~ figure who was imperfect but still brave and whatever blah blah did his best blah blah. I’m all for flawed complicated characters but a horrible father is a horrible father. A rose by any other name... parental abuse is still parental abuse even if the poor guy was complicated and traumatized and did what he thought he had to do to prepare his sons for a violent world.

Also, the story frames Dean’s escapade as a teenager being stupid. “You know what he got for that? Me whining about how much he embarrassed me. Me telling him that I hated him. But then he stopped and turned around looked at me and said, Son, you don’t like me? That’s fine. It’s not my job to be liked.” “It’s my job to raise you right.” This seems straight from a novel about teenagers doing something stupid that they’re too young to realize that their parents are right to be against them doing. But this isn’t just... a parent walking into a bar to stop their child to drink alcohol. Dean literally describes feeling sick from something that was inside the alcohol.

Sure, it makes sense that he’d lash out to John because of the shame and shock. But the scene is... off. Are we supposed to see this as a typical teenage mistake? Are we supposed to read it as something as horrific as what happened to Claire, literally sold into rape? Or, worse, are we supposed to see what happened to Claire as a teenage mistake, ah silly teenager, blindly trusting shady people, no wonder you end up in a situation where you’d get raped if a father figure didn’t sweep in and save you. I hope that wasn’t the intent.

To get back to Dean’s Mark-of-Cain violence, the writers clearly didn’t intend it to come from the Darkness up to a certain point. It was supposed to an arc about your own inner darkness (consider the Charlie episode, a couple episodes later). Then they came up with the idea of The(TM) Darkness, the suppressed cosmic feminine. While it caused a bit of dissonance in the subtext, it doesn’t really change Dean’s narrative, because his inner darkness is the trauma, and his trauma is inherebtly tied to the “feminine” i.e. the parts of him that don’t fit seamlessly into the scheme of toxic masculinity values. That the violence that comes from the Mark of Cain comes from Dean himself and that’s it, or is connected to the Darkness, it doesn’t change what it means for Dean. Dean and Amara have parallel histories, the feminine principle locked away, the trauma the anger stems from.

In 10x09 we’re still in the Before The (TM) Darkness era, before the suppressed cosmic feminine. The Mark of Cain arc is still about... well, Cain. But the shift is the signal that someone looked at Dean’s arc and said... you know what? “Lucifer gave me this curse so now I’m demonic and murdery” is meh. “Toxic masculinity suppresses the feminine and it creates trauma which rage and violence comes from” is more interesting. I don’t know whose idea it was, but it was a good idea, and surely the idea came from seeing how Dean’s MoC narrative was unfolding.

Dean’s MoC narrative was unfolding in a certain way, in fact, because of a pretty simple reason. There’s a fundamental tension in Dean’s MoC arc. We want him to go murdery, but it’s also our main character, so we don’t want him to do really horrible things because he still needs to be relatable. The audience cannot hate him, so he must NOT do something entirely unforgivable. He still needs to be somewhat relatable, even when demonic or demonic-adjacent.

So he goes on a murder spree... but it’s rapists and child traffickers. He’s demon, but he kills a misogynistic dude that wanted his wife dead for cheating on him. He’s a demon, but beats up dudes that harass women. He does a slaughter, but they’re nazi. He’s off the deep end, but works a case of kidnapped and abused young women...

Speaking of which. 10x23, written by Jeremy Carver. Dean works a case where a girl was killed while dressed scantily and Dean makes some slut-shaming remarks, and we’re supposed to think “whoa Dean, that’s bad”. But later he confronts the girl’s father and what does he say?

I’m just doing my job, Mr. McKinley.

By suggesting my daughter was a slut?

I’ll admit that thought crossed my mind. Then I came here, and I smelled the deceit and the beatings and the shame that pervade this home.

You shut your face right now.

And you know what? I don’t blame Rose anymore. No wonder she put on that skank outfit and went out there looking for validation, right into the arms of the monster that killed her.

Back then the episode was super controversial and everyone hated the case because of the apparent slut-shaming but I loved it! Because it’s not about the girl. It’s about Dean. Dean doesn’t think that a girl gets killed because she dresses in a miniskirt so it��s her fault. Dean is projecting on himself and he’s not actually victim blaming the girl, he’s victim blaming himself. And when he absolves the girl by putting the blame on the father... well, subtextually he’s absolving himself by putting the blame on his father. On the deceit and the beatings and the shame that pervaded his own home. He’s textually not ready to absolve himself, of course, he summons Death to ask him to kill him later, but subtextually he’s on the right path.

Rose McKinley basically did the same mistake Dean did at the CBGB when he trusted some older people who offered him drinks and the same mistake Claire did when she trusted a man who sold her for money because he offered him a place and stability. She trusted the wrong people (in this case, vampires, which adds the whole subtext of vampires and sexuality) who took advantage of her. Except Rose had no one to save her. (Her friend, Crystal, gets rescued by Dean, even if he causes the other hunter Rudy to die in the process.)

Carver’s writing is pretty brutal. The girl made that mistake because was abused at home, so she was desperate for validation and that desperation drove her into the wrong hands. (Rose even has a brother who blames himself for bringing her sister to her future murderers, destructive sibling relationship check.) It doesn’t actually even matter if Dean guessed right about Rose’s family situation, because what matters is what it tells us about Dean. He basically relates to a dead abused girl. Actually all through the season Dean is paralleled to “skanks” “sluts” and sex workers. Obviously this happens kinda all through the show, the whole “the business is based on absent fathers” thing happened much earlier in the story, so it’s not new. But s10 draws a picture of female suffering - abuse, manipulation and death. Season 10 was difficult to go through. In hindsight, it was probably on purpose because it was supposed to be darkest hour of the feminine. Summed with some good old fashioned misogyny, but hey.

The Carver era was wonky but Carver wanted to free the feminine. (I believe that Mary’s comeback, while written by Dabb because of the showrunner shift, was planned before the showrunner shift.) We thought the Dabb era wanted the same, with Mary choosing life and Amara being independent and so on, but it evidently wasn’t the case. Not a single woman arrives at end of the story. It’s hardly ~Bucklemming or ~the network or ~covid because it starts before the very end.

I’m not saying that dead sluts are more feminist than living women, but if the women die or disappear anyway (and they did) I’d rather have an exploration of trauma than nothing. And I definitely prefer a dead slut narrative that calls out parental abuse than a narrative where women live but abuse gets the you-did-your-best treatment.

Whoops! I digressed! But feel free to ask for any clarification or send me any observation or thought.

#anon #my spn thoughts #season 10 #spn 10x09 #spn 10x23 #dean and john #parental abuse #john winchester's a+ parenting #mark of cain #demon dean #spn #i love talking about season 10 uh

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uponrightful · 3 years

Note

So, I love possessive, jealous Crosshair 🥵 Tell me about this scene (please?):

“Trouble doesn’t suit you, doll.” He murmured lowly, soft voice contrasting the slight pressure over her pulse point and the swell of her hip. Crosshair was all-consuming and Dutch was weak to do anything but try to stay silent under his pressing weight and commanding presence at her back.

Also, I’d love to know what Echo was thinking once Cross went to the fresher after Dutch.

You’re the best! 😘

Commentary Track for Coriolis Effect

Copy 500 words -or more- of any of my fics and I'll give you my thoughts/rambles on what was going through my head -or the character's- when I wrote it!

*send one in here anytime!*

My oh my! 😍 What spicy scene we have here. I'll start with what's going on with Crosshair first, then I'll come back for Echo and the rest of the Batch. haha

***

Crosshair is fuming with rage during his conversation with Echo: It's that kind of bodily energy you get after watching a action-movie, where your whole body feels tired, but it's twitching with adrenaline that can't be spent or released. That kind of feeling you can't get rid of no matter what you do to ignore it, or work through it. Your mind feels like it working so fast that it's in slow-motion, overanalyzing the smallest details until your grinding your teeth because there's nothing else that helps relieve the pressure.

But the second he enters the refresher all of that energy snaps from anger and fear for Duchess, into dead calm. His inner voice stops screaming and evens out in tone and his hands stop shaking. His breathing slows and the second Cross sees her standing there, it's like he's been meditating deeply for hours. This kind of concentration is only present in Crosshair one other time... And you guessed it. When he's shooting.

Note: This is the epitome of Crosshair's ability to manage impulse-control in unfamiliar -and stressful- situations. Key-word here being "unfamiliar." I firmly believe that Cross is painfully terrible at monitoring and expressing his emotions. He has so many of them all the time that from a young age he had to learn how to turn them off in a moments notice, simply so he could survive. Think about it... How can a sniper worry about his brothers dying right before his eyes and still make clean shots? Not even Crosshair can do that. So the second he's certain Dutch is safe -by visually proving her health- that well-trained nature takes over to protect him like it always does.

Crosshair -at this point- isn't sure what he wants. He needs to touch her though, remind himself that she's tangible and within reach. Not that he isn't aware of his effect on her, but this moment isn't about sexual appeal or attraction. This is desperation, and Crosshair knows that; He's just banking on the hope that she'll let him, because she's always done so. He feels safe with Duchess, and even though this feels/looks sexy, Crosshair feels completely vulnerable right now.

Note: I will say it now; Once and for all. I have never subscribed to the idea that Crosshair is a typical Dominant/BDSM/Sadisim kind of guy. And the distinction is all to do with motivation. I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out why he acts the way he does, and how that manifests itself. So when I planned this scene, I wanted to focus on just how strong his desire to have security is. Not prowess, or control. It's all to do with the desperate need he has to prove how he feels about her. That kind of vulnerability just comes easier to him physically than it does emotionally. Duchess gives him a sense of stability -in and out of the sexual sense- that makes his characterization insanely complex and difficult to balance.

The moment he finds his words, it's a compulsory need to cover his own jealousy. Crosshair is undoubtedly unhappy knowing she went out with Regs... but what's really bothering him is how easy it is to feel so strongly for Duchess. Every time he speaks, it's intentionally driving attention towards someone else, and away from his own desire to be the focus of her attention. Cross uses his fear of her being unsafe to mask the jealousy that constantly compares himself to the others who can give her attention more freely than he can personally. Duchess sees his calm nature as patience and precision, but it's really Crosshair planning out what he's going to say because he knows one wrong move will reveal just how desperate he is to have her acceptance of him.

Note: I've never struggled to balance possessiveness and love like I have with Crosshair. He's so intense that if I'm not careful, he comes off like a walking red-flag. Word choice is essential when getting Cross' character and reactions right. Whether it be the way he talks to her, or the way he naturally falls into a protector role. That's why when I'm writing for him, it takes double the time it does to write anything else. Every movement, every word he says, needs to be written like he says it in the moment. That's the only way to show his softness... because the love that he gives is best felt in person. You can't describe Crosshair's love with words easily.

Now for sweet, sweet, Echo.

Let me preface this by saying: Echo is his brother's keeper. There is a relationship there that goes far deeper than the ones Crosshair holds for his other brothers. It happened slowly, but it wasn't until the two of them were too far into it that either recognized what had happened. Their personalities are something that wouldn't really mix on first glance, but for some reason or another, they just get each other. It's natural, and they gravitate towards each other.

That being said, Duchess and Echo are their own kind of dynamic. I see them as the "platonic-soulmate" kind. She has an intensity that Echo marvels at, and Dutch knows she could take any problem to him and he would do anything to help her. They both see something in the other that they wish they still had, or could develop. It's probably the purest friendship Duchess has ever had, and Echo can't help but harken back to Fives when he sees her attitude -in future chapters.

Note: From the first moment I created Duchess, I just knew in my heart she was meant to be something special to Echo. To me, it was only right that Crosshair's doll would feel strongly connected to Echo as well. Add in their common feeling of loss for brothers, and that just made their relationship that much stronger. She's such a force, and the ARC trooper can't help but find a enamorment with people who have such a strong will and fiery personality. (See Fives)

The moment Echo sees Crosshair, he's already preparing to do anything necessary to protect Duchess from incurring another possible hit to her bruised emotions. Echo trusts Crosshair, but he's highly attentive to Cross and how raw his emotions are. Their interaction is based in Echo's desire to save the couple from losing the chance to do things the right way. Intuition and experience guide Echo through the whole conversation; He really is flying by the seat of his blacks here... But he's so well-versed in reading Crosshair that none of the other Batcher's even think about offering to be the first one Crosshair faces when he comes in the bunk hall. Echo has unmatched faith in Cross, and this was something both of them knew would happen.

Note: Writing this scene was challenging for a number of reasons. For one, neither Echo or Crosshair really talk a whole lot. They say what they need to, and that's the end of it. So I spent days watching Echo and Crosshair's interactions. Trying to figure out what I could based off the -very little- examples I was given. In that, I found that the two of them hardly ever stand next to each other, but they're constantly sharing glances and looking at each other. Echo and Crosshair have silent conversations all. the. time.

Had Echo not allowed Crosshair to go and see Duchess, their sexy scene would have never happened. (And I played around with that idea very seriously...) Ultimately, Echo's intuition was the deciding factor. That conversation, and Crosshair's attempt at honesty was the reason Echo felt confident in letting him speak to her. And although Echo could sense Crosshair's patience running thin, he'd already told the rest of the Batch to be prepared for any fight. Echo wouldn't put it past Cross to stun him, but a gut-feeling kept him from mentally preparing to do the same thing.

Additionally, it was Echo who made everyone leave the bunk hall. The second Crosshair and himself reached an agreement, Echo was the first to step away. His next move was to shove the rest of the Batch out the doors and give Duchess and Crosshair the privacy needed to work through their shit. And although he expected it to end in sex, the desire to keep their business between them alone was Echo's main motivation to empty the bunk room. Neither Crosshair or Duchess really trust the Batch at this moment -in Echo's mind at least- and risking their privacy wasn't something the ARC would stand for. In the back of his mind though, Echo was terrified that Crosshair would fuck her and leave it at that. He's seen the sniper at his best and his worst, and although his best is wonderful, his worst can be miserable to endure. Echo was praying that Crosshair wouldn't be too harsh -physically and mentally- on Duchess.

When Hunter finally decided enough time had passed, Echo was on edge to see just where the two of them would be. The image of them sleeping in separate bunks: Crosshair pretending to sleep -like always- and Duchess laying quietly and pretending like nothing happened shook Echo to his core. But the second he saw her bunk in a disarray, and her not in it, Echo couldn't help but fucking grin. He was proud of his brother for doing the right thing. For doing something for himself, and not worrying about how it would make him look for once. Add in the way Crosshair reprimanded Tech, and how deathly serious he looked with her sleeping peacefully against him...?

That was the moment Echo knew for certain that Crosshair was never coming back from this. He saw a visible change in his brother, in the way his attitude changed. The way Crosshair wasn't worried about himself, or attempting to hide behind sneers and sarcastic comments. Echo noticed how attuned he was to her in that moment, putting her comfort above all else. For a man who pretended to not care about anything, Crosshair did a terrible job of hiding his true personality when Duchess was curled up into him. And Echo couldn't be happier, knowing that his trust in Crosshair hadn't been for nothing. Not only was his brother experiencing love in a way that all of them desired, but Duchess was never going to live with the question of whether or not someone truly cared for her.

***

I hope this was what you were looking for in-terms of answers 😅. I had a great time writing this for you, and I hope you'll feel comfortable doing this again whenever you feel like it! I love sharing the behind-the-scenes stuff with you! It makes the cuts and editing feel a little less sad knowing I might be able to share some of it with you anyways!

#uponrightful #uponrightfulwrites #coriolis effect #Crosshair #the bad batch crosshair #the bad batch #commentary track #saltywintersoldat

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dreamsmp-au-ideas · 4 years

Text

Teddy Bear Anon has purposed yet another interesting addition to the Immune AU which gives me plot ideas! In particular, a scene that would really help give past Dream a strong push into his character arc.

I like to image that immune!Dream’s character arc starts with the death of immune!Puffy. Sure, maybe he’s not sad yet, but he feels something for the woman who declared herself his pseudo mother. It’s what helps to crack the shell enough for the rest of the immune gang to start weedling their way into his heart. Immune!Dream after spending enough time watching the group he, starts to realize that yeah, connections to other people isn’t a weakness. It really is a strength. It’s something that takes time for him to come to terms with because Techno seems like a testament to the fact connections are a weakness. He was unbeatable until his horse got kidnapped. His only connection, his only weakness. But then there’s Tommy who seems to represent the complete opposite.

Where Dream represents strength from caring too little, Tommy represents strength from caring far too much. Now I’m a sucker for bamf Tommy, and I like to personally imagine that maybe the Immunes hold out for a year or two before they cave and try to make the portal. So Tommy has what really boils down to a two year training arc on top of already being a child veteran (I like to canonize SMP Earth as well because personal preference and it gives me even more room to make Tommy suffer. SMP Earth being canon? God, so much fucking trauma considering how the others treated him, a 15 year old child, like an adult.) Anyway Dream slowly realizes connections with one another are what kept the remaining Immunes alive, and he tries to force his younger self to understand that. Tries, but doesn’t really get far. Up until what everyone else calls The Fight.

Tommy’s always just kind of screwed around in fights as long as there’s only a threat to him. We know he has a tendency to throw if MCC is any indicator. But then they time travel and maybe they spend some time in the past trying to get the situation sorted and the past’s Dream maybe just kinda does something to Tubbo. Doesn’t even have to be big, it just needs to clock as a threat to Immune!Tommy who’s already lost his Tubbo and refuses to let his younger self go through that. So Tommy goes completely ape shit on the younger Dream. Sure, it’s only been two years for this Tommy. He’s probably, like, 18 or 19 at most. Still a child as far as a lot of people are concerned. He shouldn’t be stronger than Dream or Technoblade, and in the few cross group sparing sessions they’ve had he isn’t. He’s stronger than his younger self but no where near these two demi gods of combat. But then Dream suddenly registers as a threat to Tubbo in Immune!Tommy’s eyes and he makes the mistake of mocking Tommy while he’s at it. He knows that immune!Tommy lost his Tubbo and maybe the past Dream is lashing out slightly or trying to get some kind of foothold in Tommy’s psyche. He isn’t doing anything near what immune!Dream has done, but it’s enough to piss Tommy off. So immune!Tommy challenges Dream to a fight and Dream immediately realizes the mistake he’s made when Tommy starts to destroy him.

Say even Techno’s there for some reason or another and he realizes what’s going down so he tries to calm Tommy down, joining the fight just as Dream is loosing it. The situation quickly turns into the first time Techno’s ever gotten his ass thoroughly kicked by Tommy, leaving everyone spectating baffled (Tommy’s younger self partly included). They’re certain this kid is going on some rampage and none of them can stop him but the moment Dream and Techno are both taken care of (wounded, not killed, the older Tommy is always careful about that. He even throws a splash healing on them with some indifferent kind of disgust that hides the fact he does still care to some extent even hurting as he is.) Tommy immediately just switches focus to outright doting on Tubbo, ignoring any muttered Clingyinnits in favor of ensuring Tubbo is fine. Tubbo is completely find and just as confused, but the point stands and neither Tommy ends up leaving Tubbo’s side for the rest of the day. The younger Tommy, after all, is the only one the older Tommy’s told the full story to regarding the future (even when he couldn’t trust his own family he was always able to trust himself with the secrets that mattered, so he prepares his younger self in case the worst comes to pass.)

The older Dream, immune!Dream, he doesn’t get involved. He sit on the side lines and just kinda laughs, the sound drowned out by Sapnap’s loud encouragements and Sam’s half hearted attempts to get Tommy to stop (he could have stopped Tommy immediately if he’d stepped in. Sam is after all the only person on earth Tommy listens to without hesitation, but Sam lets it happen and pretends he tried.)

Immune!Dream just kinda smirks at his younger self later that night and mentions something about attachments really making you weak. After all, it’s not like the only time Tommy takes a battle seriously is when someone he cares about is in danger. It’s not like Tommy would turn the world into a seared ball for Tubbo, and Tubbo would do the same in return. It’s not like they’ve watched the people they care about temporarily rebuke the Crimson just to give the Immunes those precious extra seconds needed to survive in a fight. Attachments, they’re just a weakness.

The younger Dream doesn’t know how to respond to that. It’s the first time he thinks about his older self maybe being right.

Before I go I wanna leave you with two more ideas for the Immune AU

First up, Wilbur is eight years older than Tommy give or take. Wilbur had Fundy when he was around 16 and Tommy was around 8. Tommy was the best damn uncle he could be and for a while Tommy and Fundy were really stupidly close. They were both apart of the raised by Wilbur club and Wilbur was trying his damn best. Fundy aged/matured (physically and mentally) faster than a regular person for a while. They believed it was because he was a fox hybrid and Wilbur was ready to lose Fundy too soon. When Fundy was equivalent to 18 in human years though his aging process suddenly slowed to a crawl and his tail split into two, at which point the group realized he was actually a kitsune and it was just those first 8 years that passed by quickly (and Wilbur had a lot of questions for the now missing Sally who he’d thought was a salmon hybrid, genuinely, but became exceedingly less sure.) His family knows he’s a kitsune, but Fundy hid it from most of the rest of the server. A good thing considering later events.

Fundy was part of the Immune group for a while and I like to imagine that he and Tommy had a falling out during the Pogtopia era but after the egg started to take over they started bonding again and acting like, well, family. Unfortunately when it came time for them to activate the portal, Fundy ended up getting separated from the group and getting caught. The eggpire didn’t actually know Fundy was fully immune or a kitsune so he just kinda pretended to get infected, using his illusions to make his fur look crimson. I personally like the idea that Fundy at some point managed to get back to the time machine and being a little code wizard manages to get the thing working and yeets himself in. He shows up a little late but after fixing his appearance manages to catch up with the rest of the group.

Fundy is underrated. Tommy being a good uncle is underrated. Sam would absolutely adopt the traumatized fox baby in Eret’s honor. What’s not to love?

The last concept I wanna bring up that I really like is hybrid Tommy. Tanuki would be good since it’s another reason for the Sam Nook bit. Maybe Sam specifically picked Sam Nook since Tom Nook was Tommy’s favorite character on the grounds he was the only representation Tommy had ever gotten and it made the kiddo happy. However, I also personally really like phoenix Tommy and it would make an interesting plot point. Tommy accidentally losing his third life at some point and realizing he’s an immortal creature of fire would have led to him taking a protector role for his new family. He can’t die, but he can burn anything around him, why not send him out to get supplies when the worst the eggpire could do would be capture him. Even then he just literally cannot hear the egg. Which could lead to both some interesting comedic moments and some really good angst if Sam agonizes over his desire to protect Tommy and let him be a child suddenly being at odds with the fact Tommy is literally the best person for the job so to speak. Not to mention Sapnap, who I headcanon as a Blaze hybrid, would be even more attached the moment he found a new fire proof friend to burn forests with him. Regardless of which hybrid type he is, I could see him hiding it from everyone except for Fundy when he was a child and only ever admitting it later to the other Immunes once they become a found family.

Personally I like the idea of Tommy being part tanuki hybrid and part phoenix hybrid, but is that too mary sue? Is it just a little bit too cheesy to have him be both? I will never not try to incorporate phoenix Tommy into my fics but also tanuki Tommy would be such a mood for this au.

Like image Tommy just builds a den that’s in reality a vault/panic room a la Techno and he hides it under Church Prime since that is The Safe Spot in Tommy’s mind.

~Snapdragon & Firefly

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sashi-ya · 3 years

Text

{+18} - Law x Fem Best Friend ♥ CH.2

♥ Daily living with the Heart pirates crew AU ♥ Spoilers after Dressrosa Arc. Law´s backstory. ♥ Female reader. Little physical description. Everybody is 18+, canon ages. ♥ TW: Nightmares related to PTSD. Little NSFW. no further warnings. If you think I should include some feel free to tell me ♥Thank you for the likes and follows, I appreciate it them so so much! If you wanna know when I’ll be updating the next chapters, you can follow me on Twitter @LawIsMyWaifu, come interact I love to have mutuals that love Law and One Piece as much as I do ♥

Word count: 4.1K

» List of parts: {CH1} {CH2} {CH3} {CH4} {CH5} «

Chapter 2.

The sound of his low, raspy voice resonated all over my head, making my body react instantly. I gasped as I felt a strike of pleasure travelling down my stomach to in between my legs. Closing my eyes, unable to move, I didn’t want to move, I wanted him to keep whispering, to kiss my neck… “Hahahaha, I’m sorry, I’m just fooling around, your face, you look astonished Y/N-ya”, he said while laying back on the bed, laughing. I chuckled as I stood up brushing my clothes as if I was trying to fix them. “Stop it, I’m not into that you ass. Goodnight”, I said trying to dissimulate how agitated and embarrassed I was.

Almost running, I left the room, directly to mine, holding on my hand my underwear. I jumped to my bed resting violently on my back. “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?” ... a little time passed until I passed out.

Hard knocks on my door woke me up. “Vice-Captain!! wake up! breakfast is ready!!!” Clione shouted from the corridor. “God damn how many times I have to tell this whole crew I fucking hate being awakened with shouting?” I mumbled annoyed, covering my face with the sheets.

I was brushing my hair when I remembered my “memory box” for some reason. Opened my drawer and found the little velvet red box that holds my “treasures”. Inside, there is a photo of my parents with me when I was 7, happy, eating some ice cream with them. It was taken during one of “the white parades”, on Flevance, before everything turned into hell. A little blue bow that my little sister used to wear, some photos of Law, Bepo, Shachi, Penguin and me when we were the only members of our crew. And, a necklace Law made with some seashells as a gift for my 15th birthday, were also inside.

I got watery eyes while looking at it, “I must be getting old”, I thought, “I got emotional over the memories” ... laughed and put everything back to its place.

“Morning..” I said, greeting the whole crew that was already devouring their breakfast. I noticed Law wasn’t there, so I had to ask. Uni told me he was in the control room preparing for the arrival at the next island. I took a few pancakes and some tea and headed to the control room to ask my captain if he needed help.

“Good morning, doc”, I saluted him. Law that was seated facing the controls, turned the chair to look at me nodding. He has more dark circles as always, so I asked him, “Oi, did you sleep last night? are you feeling sick again?”. “I’m ok, I didn’t get much sleep last night. I got caught up with the book I was reading”, he answered with his usual unfriendly tone. “Yeah, right” I answered back, rolling my eyes, and proceeded “Let me know if you need something before we get to the island”. Left the control room and went back to my room.

I knew him well to know he hadn't slept because something was worrying him, and not because he was reading the old comic book of “Sora, the warrior of the sea against the evil Germa 66”. But hey, Law never shows any emotion besides annoyance if he is not sick.

A few hours later, the submarine got to the shore of some winter island, and we all got ready to accomplish our assigned tasks. “Ok everyone, we will meet here at 7 pm, is that clear?” told my crew members, everybody agreed and headed to the island.

The temperature was pretty low, and it was snowing. Law was wearing the long black coat with yellow dots and our Jolly Roger that he used to wear at Punk Hazard, his hat and of course the Kikoku over his shoulder. I love when he wears warm clothing, he looks so cozy, hiding his mouth behind the collar. (He does it so his lips don’t get chapped with the cold breeze, haha). I don't like to wear the boiler-suit when we get to explore islands, so I decided to wear a long yellow coat with a hood, also with our crew's Jolly Roger emblazoned on the left side of the chest.

We asked a few civilians where to find a pharmacy and headed to the destination following their instructions. Law didn’t say much during the walking, as he normally does.

The island seemed a little bit deserted, yet it had picturesque streets, full of colour that stand out from the snow. It has cobbled lanes, some canals of crystallized water, there were wooden houses and shops with little lights that garnished their architecture giving the place a romantic aura. The scenery behind the city center included big snowed mountains and a big castle over one of the highest peaks.

I saw a boutique with some cute sweaters on display that caught my eyes and I wanted to try them on. “Law, would you mind if I enter here? I want to buy a new sweater.”, I said. Law looked at me and made a gesture with his hand as he was saying to go ahead.

While searching for the sweater I like on one of the clothing racks I saw through the shop window that a few kids approached the captain. The seller asked me if I needed some help, so I stopped looking at him and l directed my gaze to the girl in the shop. So, I forget about him.

After buying two cute pullovers, we continued walking through the picturesque streets.

When we finally arrived at the pharmacy shop, it seemed like it was closed, but the door was open, so we entered. I rang the bell over the counter and waited for someone to show up. Law walked in front of me and had his hand over his sword. I knew he was alert and trying to protect me even if he didn’t say a word. I didn’t think we could be in danger, yet he never fully relaxes when we are outside. After all, he is one of the most wanted pirates of our generation, so it's understandable he trusts no stranger.

After a minute or so, an old lady approached the counter from the inside of the store. She seemed a little weak and perhaps a little sick. She coughed, covering her mouth with a handkerchief, and then greeted us. “Good afternoon, how can I help you?”, she asked. Law handed her a list of supplies we needed, and we waited. “Oi, don’t you think she looks bad? I mean, she is probably sick, should I ask if she is ok?”, I told Law who gave me a disapproving sight. I rolled my eyes, and said, “Fiiiine…”, “You know that I hate you rolling your eyes at me, you did it yesterday and now too. Stop it.” I looked at him with an “excuse me?” face and while I was about to spit an insult to him the granny appeared. “I’m sorry, I put on the bag some of the supplies, but I don’t have everything you need. We are short on medicines'', she informed us and started coughing harder. “Excuse me, Mrs. Are you alright? are you sick?”, I asked as she seemed to lose composure from all the nagging coughing. Law, that hated when I don’t give a fuck about what he had just said, gave me the look of death. “Oh young lady, we are pretty much sick, a strange illness is hitting the island. Even the only doctor in town fell ill. The orphanage, though, is getting the worst part. All of the kids are bedridden”, as she said, the memories of Flevance and the amber lead disease hit me.

Law's expression changed to a more compassionate one and asked about the symptoms they were experiencing. He might be serious, he might not want to get involved in a lot of things, but he is a true doctor. And he can't let people die if he can help.

We decided to visit the orphanage in hopes of helping the sick people, so we asked the old lady to give us directions to it. She said it was pretty far from the city center and told us her husband would take us there with his cart.

"Thank you so much for offering your help, young doctors", said the old lady's husband that later told us his name was Gerald. The cart was pulled by two brown percheron horses that opened their way through the white landscape.

We had a small talk during the journey, until Gerald asked, "how long have you been together? Are you already married?". Despite the freezing cold weather, my cheeks turned to fire, and I could sense Law hiding his head even more into his coat and hat. Almost as if clarifying that we were no couple was a life or death situation I said, "WE ARE JUST BEST FRIENDS!". I realized I almost shouted and felt mortified. Gerald looked at us with a little smirk and kind eyes, excusing himself for the mistake.

A few minutes after we arrived at the orphanage. It took us almost 30 minutes to get there and the sun was starting to set on the horizon.

When we entered the place, the situation was worse than we thought. There were kids and adults lying on the ground, some of them shivering, others coughing while others were straight unconscious. A few nurses were working in order to maintain them, but the situation had clearly surpassed them.

Immediately Law and I started working. While I helped the nurses, Law used his ope ope no mi power to scan the bodies of the sick people.

We got to the conclusion that what they were suffering was a type of bacteria that caused the respiratory symptoms and the fever.

During our duty, there were times when our eyes interlocked, and we smiled at each other. I wouldn't say we like people suffering, but, we certainly enjoyed working to save lives together.

A few hours passed since we arrived there, the sun was already set, and outside it seemed as if a snowstorm was beginning. I've lost track of time until my portable Den Den Mushi started to ring. "Oi, y/n, where are you? Is Law with you? Are you alright? We've been waiting for you on the shore! It's 9 pm already and we were supposed to meet at 7!", shouted Shachi from the other side of the line. "Oh my God I'm sorry I forgot to tell you!... you see …" I explained to them what we've been doing and that we were probably not going to return to the submarine in a few more hours.

The kids and the other people began to get better and those who were helping there offered us some food that we accepted happily.

While we were having dinner, Gerald got back from outside, who's been in the forest collecting some firewood. He informed us that the weather was getting really bad so coming back to town would be pretty dangerous.

Law and I agreed that staying there for the night was the safer choice.

One of the nurses, Sister Alley, told us we could spend the night in the cabin next to the orphanage. "I'm really sorry guys, I wished we had a better place for you, we owe you so much. The cabin has a fireplace, Gerald would start a fire to keep you warm”, she said. We both smiled at her and thanked for it.

We walked some meters through the forest until we started to catch sight of a wooden cabin. Despite being a strong pirate, I’m the queen of the clumsy people, so I slipped off with what I assume was an ice patch on the already snowy ground. I was about to hit the ground when Law grabbed me by the waist and saved me from a few bruises. His face in front of mine, the feeling of being safe on his arms, I wished it has been eternal. But the romantic moment was destroyed by Law mocking me. “It must be the devil fruit; how come you are so clumsy? Be careful”, he said, and I told him to shut up, this time I wasn’t embarrassed, but I was almost angry at him.

“Here we are, let me help you with the fire”, Gerald said, opening the wood door that creaked as it moved. The inside felt cozy, there were a few cushions and pillows on the ground next to the fireplace. There were no separate rooms, so in the middle of the lounge there was some kind of mattress with a few blankets over it. Our “host” asked for forgiveness about the lack of separate beds, but Law intercepted him and said, “It’s ok sir, we are grateful to have a warm place to stay until tomorrow. If you need help with any patient during the night, just please tell us”. It might be ok for you, damn Law. Was I supposed to sleep with him? - I mean, I wanted to, but, he was still my best friend, and those thoughts should have been erased.

Gerald wished us a good night and returned to the main building.

I hung my coat and as I love to explore, I started to do so around the little wooden house. The kitchen seemed really equipped, so I grabbed a kettle and some cups. Gerald was kind enough to give us some tea bags, so I thought making some tea was a great idea.

Law was next to the fireplace, wearing only a sweater and his jeans. Apparently he has already hung up his coat and his white spotted hat. I saw him once more with a lost sight that seemed to contemplate the firewood.

Looking at him with my face resting on my arm that was over the breakfast nook, I got lost worshiping his profile. I’ve always adored his upturned nose, his spiky black hair, his facial hair, the contrast between his grey eyes and the tanned skin. How come he has always been so handsome, but I’ve never seemed to fully realize?.

The whistle of the kettle intensified as the water started boiling, but I was so into admiring my best friend's beauty that I didn’t notice. Law turned to me and woke me up from my reverie shouting “Oi, Y/N, the kettle!”. My stupid smile quickly erased from my face, and my whole skin turned red. “Sorry”, I said straight away and turned off the burner.

I served two cups, noticing that the tea has an amazing scent. I believe it was hibiscus mixed with some other spices, perhaps some cardamom and maybe a little hint of clover. The smell of the tea mixed with the slightly one from the logs burning, was wonderful.

I walked to where my captain was, “Here, I think you may like it”, I said and handed him a cup. Our fingers brushed softly when grabbed the tea, he looked at me and said “Thanks”. I sat not so near him over one of the cushions and sipped a little bit of my tea. Law looked at me and stood up from his place. I could sense how awkward he felt when he made a little pause, and then walked away.

Why is he leaving? Did I make him feel uncomfortable?, I asked myself trying to hide little stings of pain on my chest that traveled to my throat. Somehow I felt like crying, and when my eyes started to get slightly watery, Law approached me placing his hand over my right shoulder.

I turned my face to him, looking up with a slightly pouty face. I was about to cry, and I didn’t even know why when I noticed a blue little box on his hand.

He sat next to me and said, "Do you remember when we were 15?, that day when I gave you that necklace I made myself for your birthday? I looked at him confused but I answered, "yes, of course, I got it on my memory box, I'm afraid to wear it outside the polar cause it might get lost and I wouldn't forgive myself if I lose it". He was now looking at the little box moving it around nervously and finally said "I got you a better one". He handed me the little box still not looking at me.

"A present?? OMG Law, thank you very much!" When did you buy it??" I almost shouted in excitement while opening the box. Inside there was a fine rose gold necklace that has a little anatomical heart figure as a pendant. I grabbed it and admired the beauty of the jewelry I had in my hands. The heart had a little red stone crimped on it, that shined with every movement.

"Law, this is too much! It must have cost you a lot of Berries, I don't deserve such a fine jewel!, thank you so much", I expressed with a big smile on my face.

"You do deserve more than this, you know. I'm glad you like it", he said, a little embarrassed. “When you were buying the sweaters, I asked some children there if they knew a jewelry store, turned out it was just around the corner”, he confessed.

“Thank you so much, it is just perfect! You know how I adore hearts; they remind me of you.. “Doctor Heart Stealer”” I almost shouted, realizing I have said too much…

I tried to put it on my neck, but I couldn’t clip it right, so I asked him for help. He stood up, kneel at my back and passed from behind the necklace around my neck.

Some branches hit the window violently as they were suffering the merciless wind of the snowstorm outside.

He struggled a little and finally fastened the collar and when he did, the electric power went off. The fireplace was the only source of light, the dance of the fire created figures with shadows and highlights all around the walls of the cabin. We remained silent, maybe a little scared or even surprised, but enjoying the sound of the weather and the creak of the fire.

He was still behind me, and after a few seconds he placed a soft kiss on my back that sent a shiver through my spine. Once again I was unable to speak, did he… did he just kiss my back?.. Before I could say or do something Law stood up and headed to one of the windows. “The storm seems to be even worse than earlier; don’t you think?”, he said, trying to device something through the window.

I couldn’t focus on anything else than the kiss he softly planted on my nape, minutes ago. He suddenly yawned and walked to the mattress that was in the center of the room, on the floor. He then took his jeans off and hopped inside the bed, naturally. I remained on my spot, contemplating his actions. “How could he be acting so normal?, I’m right here. He just gave me a necklace, kissed my skin and now he just goes to sleep?” I said to myself, still with a confused expression on my face.

“Oi, aren’t you coming to bed?”, he asked me, freely. “Yes… give me a second”, I said, and ran to the bathroom. The toilet was pretty tiny and basic, but enough for me to hide for a few minutes. “Come on, Y/N you slept with him two nights ago, it’s ok, he is like your brother, it’s ok…” I thought, trying to calm myself down.

I finally left my hiding place and headed to the mattress. Law was lying there, he took off his sweater, probably while I was in the bathroom, so he was only using a white tight undershirt, that molded his torso anatomy. Some blankets were covering the under part of his body from his hips. He had his forearm over his eyes, covering them with his neck stretched back.

I bite my lip, as a reaction for such a tempting scene. I was enjoying it, watching him breathe peacefully. I started feeling hot, so I took off the sweater but not my jeans and approached the “bed”.

I thought Law was already asleep, so I got in bed trying not to wake him up. I muffled myself up with the sheets. I remained still, hearing the snowstorm, fixing my eyes on the wooden ceiling, as the memories of my childhood flooded my mind. It must be the snowstorm, the wind, the cold that triggered these memories. eventually I fell asleep.

“No, stop it, my family, leave us alone!!!!”, I screamed. “Y/n-ya! Y/n-ya!, wake up!” said Law, pulling me out from the terrific oneiric world I was submerged in. I got lost into his eyes, and remained there with tears streaming from my eyes, rolling into my cheeks. Law was holding me close to his body around his arms. “Are you having those nightmares, again? why didn’t you tell me?”, he asked, worried. “This is the first time in ages, I think it must be the storm, perhaps the orphanage, the children…”, I expressed amid tears. My best friend brushed his tattooed fingers through my hair, moving it out of my face, and then wiped the tears from my cheeks.

“Oi, do you remember what happened when I gave you the first necklace?” he asked, trying to distract me. A feeling of warmth invaded my insides, suddenly I felt happy. “I do...” I said, laughing timidly, and continued, “It was my first kiss”. He smiled back at me, and said, “Mine too”.

For a second we both closed our eyes. I was grabbing the pendant with my left hand cherishing it and the memories of our younger days when we kissed for the first time. We haven't had much time to think about love while striving to survive so we forgot about it, letting the days, months and years pass, leaving the experience as a mere child’s play.

Suddenly we started laughing, Law didn't let go of me, and our faces were pretty close. “Everything's better when you laugh, I hate it when you cry, it makes me so sad…” he said, rubbing his thumb over my right cheek. I stopped laughing, as he got even closer. Almost as if the point of our noses were about to touch. I could feel the warmth of his breath over my lips, and he did too. My heart started racing, and the only thing I could hear was the blood pumping on my ears. I wasn’t moving, I wanted him to kiss me, I wanted to kiss him… I just didn’t care that he was my best friend, I just needed him to kiss me. What is taking him so long? Why am I not moving if I wanted this more than anything?. After a good minute, that felt eternal, he exclaimed “Fuck it”, and plant the sweetest kiss over my lips. A feeling of happiness filled my insides, I’ve never been so joyful in ages, it felt the same way as the first time. I was like a teenage girl experimenting love for the first time. Both smiled still with our lips pressed. I doubted for a second if succumbing to my deepest desires was the right thing to do until he decided to turn the cute kiss into a more passionate one. From then on, the desire I’d been accumulating inside of me took control of my body…

We kept on kissing; Law slid a hand under my shirt timidly caressing the skin of my tummy. The kisses migrated from my mouth to my neck, mixed with little bites that surely would turn into hickies tomorrow.

“Law…” I gasped when his hands reached my breasts. “What?” he replied, whispering next to my ear and pinching one of my nipples in between two fingers…

Chapter 3

Ch1: Link

#Trafalgardwaterlaw #one piece law #law x reader #trafalgar d law x reader #Trafalgar law x reader #one piece x reader

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shuxjodie · 4 years

Text

Let's talk GOSHO AOYAMA'S POV For Movie 18' Promise (Canon or Not)!!!

What this post will cover-

The Explanation of Movie18 promise

Why Jodie is different from other agents? Answered with the reference taken from this promise.

Shuichi's current feelings for Jodie as a conclusion

The explanation that why there are High possibilities that the promise is Canon by what Gosho said about this movie in his interview.

NOTE: It's going to be a long post! Because I'm going to explain every single thing in detail. Well there is a treat awaiting for Redstarling fans too 😉

So first let's take a look at the scene of Promise. This is the scene of the Detective Conan Movie: Dimensional Sniper👇

They say this scene is not canon. But really?? If this is canon, then why? What are its possibilities that it is Canon? Let's keep in mind that this Movie is different from the movies that were previously made (It is explained later). And rather than going with the general idea of "movies are not canon" let's see what Gosho said himself regarding this movie!

Before that, let's break down what Shuichi promised Jodie and what he exactly meant.

Explanation of The Promise

The promise is made in a technical manner. So we need to understand the promise using technical knowledge. It's not what it looks like.

So what Shuichi said there?

"Don't worry. As long as I'm around, you will NEVER have to do something like that. I PROMISE."

First of all, I thought the same as many think that Shuichi said that because Jodie is unable to shoot a shot like that. But the promise is more than that.

To understand the whole situation, let's have a look at Jodie's shooting skills.

Jodie's skills as a shooter

If we compare what kind of shooter she is, it turns out to be that she is an extremely high skilled shooter! (And I will be using reference from specifically Manga not anime)

Jodie threw Vermouth's gun by shooting at it, faster than her. She is good at aiming by taking decisions within a fraction of seconds. This is a sign of a very well-trained agent.

Jodie threw the gun away without harming Vermouth, at that sudden moment. Although she was interrogating her, she grasped the situation quickly and reacted accordingly.

Jodie was able to shoot at her even when she was injured, and almost got killed ( Conan said that while talking to Vermouth and explaining why he changed his plans). Still, she had the confidence to give the warning that her next target will be Vermouth's head. Jodie would have shot at her head to save her life and other people's life involved in that case, because there was no other way around. But she stopped because her attention went towards the footsteps approaching her and she thought it's over but that footstep turned out to be Shuichi's.

Jodie shot at Vermouth's shoulder only to threaten her even when she was heavily panting, not in the condition to move either but used most of her strength to hide in the blind spot and still she shot her in that worse condition. She didn't miss the shot by harming Vermouth more. The bullet could have penetrated through her shoulder or any other part of her body, maybe hitting the vitals but it just passed aside. It was certainly a good shot to threaten. And she could have missed the shot by aiming in the wrong direction. But she made that shot successfully.

In the Kir arc, she shot very well at the sprinklers using the silencer. And she moved silently so no one noticed. Kir only noticed the sound of the sprinkler, not her moves.

Conan was caught by Kir when he was trying to retrieve the transmitter. So, Jodie was ready to shoot at Kir, to save Conan. In manga many people were around Kir, running here and there to get away from the rain. And it started to rain for real. But still, she was prepared to save Conan. It was a risky shot as people are around, running here and there.

In fact, her debut was made as she is a great shooter. Gosho can't show us actual shooting but video games and if you remember she was able to use her left hand to shoot.

And she never made a mistake while shooting.

Now one needs to complete their bachelor's degree to enroll into the FBI. Jodie must be atleast 22y by then. They need the experience of 3years. Then they have to give physical and written test followed by a background check. And after passing it they go through an intense training of more than 800 hours in Quantico. After spending 20weeks there, they get into the FBI. So she must be 25-26 years at that time. After joining it, they have a probationary period of around 2 years where they practically do nothing but observe and learn under under their assigned training agents. So she completed all these by 27-28years. And now she is 28y/o. So with less than a year of experience she did a great job!

CONCLUSION:

Jodie is extremely good at short-range shooting.

She can take decisions in less than a second and make a clear shot.

She can pull a headshot even when she is gravely injured, to the point of unable to move.

With less than a year of experience, she did a great job!

So let's keep all these points in mind as I will be using them many times.

Shuichi's promise and breaking it into fragments-

Now why Shuichi said that Jodie will NEVER have to do something dangerous like pulling a headshot, unless he is around while making the promise? She doesn't need him in the short-range shooting. She can handle things as she did at the port. She is a pro! Then why?

What did he mean with that slight smiling reaction he gave? So, let's break down his body language.

Shuichi's promise can be interpreted in these 5 ways-

1. He is a better agent and sniper. He is more confident and experienced. But-

Jodie is a highly skilled short-ranged shooter, who can pull a head shot when gravely injured. So basically she doesn't need his help in short-range shooting including dangerous things.

She doesn't like to do things without making efforts on her own either, which means she trusts herself and is very confident. That means she gives her best too!

But still, Shuichi promised her. That means he doesn't want her to get tensed about these dangerous things. He will take care of long-range, short-range or any dangerous things on his own. He promised her and this shows a sign that she can rely on him every time.

2. She won't have to kill someone facing the killer/target putting herself in dangerous situations.

There is a very high possibility that the opposition can have weapons too. Her chances of getting killed will always be there. That's why it's a dangerous job!

"Face the target HEAD-ON and aim for the tip of their nose"

That is advised by the best shooter/sniper of the DC world.

Well, it's the same strategy used in real life. Imagine the T shape between the head and nose and aim at the horizontal line of the letter. It's a perfect kill that the target won't get a microsecond to think or act! So it's very dangerous for the one who is aiming to. Because it gives a chance of killing and getting killed. This T strategy is shared by an ex infantryman of the army 👇

So her life will be at risk.

But she is willing to take risks-

Jodie faced Vermouth. The FBI didn't have much idea about her as Shuichi never saw her before but he confirmed on the port. And they were attacking each other face to face.

In the clash of Red and Black, Jodie decided to dispose of the bomb, on her will. James initially asked Shuichi to dispose of the bomb in a vacant area because he wasn't confident either, but Jodie came forward and took the job.

Jodie is willing to risk her life for Shuichi. In the mall, she knew BO men were waiting to kill Shuichi but she didn't waste a single second and ran to save him.

But still, Shuichi promised her. When he used "Never", he meant both long-range and short-range. That means he is not willing to risk her life at any cost. He doesn't want to lose her.

He will do anything and everything to save her life. Even with the endless and enormous amount of several uncertainties, he is not willing to risk her life at any cost, since it's a promise!

3.She won't have to do a dirty job and take responsibility.

Before I proceed, let me point out, Jodie can take responsibilities-

Vermouth asked her whether she has permission to use the gun in Japan. And she said she was going to accept all the charges anyways and was prepared to face them.

It's very hard to accept that this woman won't take any responsibility.

If you would look at it, killing a culprit is not as simple as it sounds. It comes with loads of responsibilities along with so many rules. If not justified, then they will face punishments and charges, even worse, it can cost their job. They can be called murderers.

Unlike soldiers who are prepared to kill men in masses, FBI agents are also prepared but not like them. They have to think before shooting and in worst case- kill, but soldiers shoot to kill. Hence, cannot be compared.

The first attempt of an FBI agent is to stop the culprit. So they shoot to stop the target from escaping. The killing comes afterwards in the worst-case scenario when they have no way around it.

FBI agents are strictly prohibited to kill until the situation demands or/and they get an order. Even when they work undercover, they are forced to obey the rules.

Killing a culprit without orders comes with a huge responsibility. If the action couldn't be justified by rules, the agent might cost their job along with mandatory punishments and charges.

If one is saving their colleague, there are two chances- to kill the opponent or to injure them so that they won't attack any further. It gets really complicated, in situations when all they get are a few seconds to decide. Because by harming, the culprit can be caught and the partner's life will be saved.

So it's a very big responsibility and commitment on a professional level and even on a personal level.

So when Shuichi committed Jodie, that he is willing to kill for her-

He is also willing to take the very huge responsibility at a professional level that will come all along.

The situation becomes worse when they get stuck in a situation when they can't or won't get any further orders.

Even when his top priority is his job because of his personal reasons, he is willing to take responsibility for her.

It's very very less likely that he'll fail but nothing can be taken for granted. He gave his commitment to Jodie when future circumstances are not known to anyone. There are uncountable uncertainties. And this can affect his job.

This proves that Jodie is a very very important person for him so he won't let her compromise her job at any cost because he is willing to take responsibility for her. As he mentioned that he won't let Jodie do anything ever if he is around, so it's a lifetime promise!

Even Gosho never made Shuichi kill anyone. Vermouth as the serial killer escaped him, Kusuda Rikumichi and Scotch committed suicide. Even in M18, he didn't kill the culprit. So to think about it from manga pov it's a very strong and big commitment, which he will fulfil in anyways and by any means.

4. Shuichi is willing to protect and defend Jodie at an emotional level.

As I mentioned before she is highly professional at the short-range shooting. Then why did she hesitate?

This is a very risky job and it's humans' natural tendency to think before acting when their life will be at stake. But that doesn't mean that an FBI agent should back off. They should learn to cope up with fear and do the job. Initially, everyone fears. But with time they learn. Jodie hesitated a little showing the "natural reaction" of any human being to save their life. But she prepared herself when the time came to eliminate the sniper. She remembered what Shuichi said and thought-" I have to do it!" So even if she hesitated, that doesn't mean that she'll never try to do attempt anything dangerous. In Manga, she prepared herself to shoot at Kir even there were people running around her.

Maybe Jodie's past is related somehow. To think about Jodie, she gets sentimental when it comes to killing someone, especially while smiling. But her past was very tragic since her father was burned by a mysterious woman. And at that time she was only 7-8years old so we can't blame her. It must be so traumatic. But now she has a strong and cheerful personality irrespective of the trauma she has faced.

Irrespective of her past, she is very professional and keeps her emotions away from her working space. Even though she has a personal hatred towards Vermouth, the FBI let her carry out the mission on foreign land, without permission. This shows her professionalism and the trust that the FBI put in her.

People get emotional when they face harsh and critical time. It was her worst time when we realised her past, before catching vermouth and about her relationship with Shuichi.

Even after Shuichi's death, she didn't have a mental breakdown. She strongly implied to Camel that the FBI wasn't scared of BO either. This shows she is a very confident woman, who doesn't rely on anyone, is aware of practical things and can deal with things on her own.

And maybe she was hesitant regarding killing someone, like that. Doing a dirty job. Generally speaking, not every FBI officer kills the criminal and they try to avoid killing criminals as much as possible because of rules and regulations and some avoid that for personal reasons but they have to do it when ordered. And along with killing someone, this thought comes along-" If I'll kill them, will I take the CHANCE away from them of having a new and different life? And what if they want to start a new life by accepting the punishment?" This is a very complicated decision and morals and values are the core of our life. That's why it is a very tough decision. Moreover, this is detective Conan in which Gosho never makes any good character to kill ever.

It's very unlikely that the FBI have the mindset of soldiers in war who are trained that way to kill thousands. It can be up to some extent the training of FBI agents is different from soldiers. Soldiers are trained to kill without thinking but FBI agents have to think before killing someone. Here another confession by an ex- infantryman 👇

Killing is not the same for everyone. Some might feel bad and some may not. It varies because of personal reasons, past, the surrounding they grew up etc.

And Shuichi knows Jodie very well without a doubt. He knows how capable she is and only he knows how worse her driving skills are. So, he doesn't want her to kill someone if he is around her. Shuichi is more experienced although he never killed someone, as far as we know.

So he asked her directly and without giving her a second to think, the next moment he promised her.

It's not like he is stopping her to do her job because a mindset to face difficulties is necessary for FBI agents. That's why he said until he is around and situations in which he won't be able to make it. But according to him, it's not that necessary either to let her kill someone if he is around or if he can do whatever he can to help her out.

Let me clear something-

Shuichi doesn't enjoy killing, like Korn and Chianti. They asked gin to let them kill because they carve killing( FBI vs BO part-1,2). Especially Chianti loves to kill.

Shuichi feels proud when he saves the people and threatens or eliminates the opponent, to serve his Nation. Even the best sniper of the (real) world said in his interview that he doesn't hesitate to kill as the opposite side are about to kill his brothers( his teammates, his friends). According to him, it's better to kill the people who can harm his side than to see his people die and their family suffer. That's what an ex infantryman stated-

So Shuichi is very different from BO men.

And by offering Jodie, to the extent of promising, that he'll kill for her, it gotta be really serious. So he is ready to kill on behalf of her which is protecting her physically and mentally.

5. He is willing to protect her life, putting his own life in danger.

With uncountable and enormous uncertainties, no one knows who can fire at him, at what time, from which direction and so on.

It's never just one culprit they will be facing, like the M18 climax. There can be more in number, increasing the level of danger.

He won't get the chance to use sniper always. Using a sniper needs a good place to aim and to find it the place it requires time and he should reach there in time. Jodie can get into trouble in any situation which may or may not be favourable for using a sniper. So he might need to shoot from any range, like short-range, which should be suitable for the situation. After all, he is going to protect her.

There can be a good sniper, that he might be facing as an opponent. So there is this uncertainty of not knowing the capabilities of the opponent too.

The bullet won't spare anyone, not even him or the culprit will not spare him at any cost. If he is aiming from a long-range then not necessarily the bullet won't reach him. And if the opposition is the men of b.o they'll definitely not!

So Shuichi is not willing to lose Jodie at any cost! Even he is ready to sacrifice himself for her life. For her, is willing to face anyone to save Jodie.

So in the trailer, what he said-

Don't make that kind of face. I'll protect you even if I have to give my life.

it turns out to be the same!

For "don't make that kind of face", he used the phrase "Don't worry / Just relax" which he usually uses when he is with Jodie.

So Shuichi is willing to risk/ give up on his own life to save Jodie's life. She is so important to him that he can't imagine risking life at all! Isn't it the reason he promised her?

Some other important points, while Shuichi made this promise-

By promising Jodie, he doesn't mean that he doesn't trust her. While working with agents, one has to trust each other on their skills because it's teamwork. He is well aware of her skills. If he had doubts about her skills, he wouldn't have let her take Haibara to the port. So he trusts her. The promise is all because he worries about her.

The promise is a lifetime promise. Using "never", means shows till he stays alive. Never letting her do anything dangerous is until he retires or if ever needed to do after the job and protection is for a lifetime.

Shuichi promised Jodie as soon as he asked her, just after the moment she hesitated, for like a second. That means he had made his mind way before to protect her no matter what and he'll do dangerous things for her. Because this promise is not some daily chores that he'll promise out of nowhere. The promise just described his feelings in words in front of Jodie during that time.

In the promise, he didn't mention specifically about headshot but he said "something like that" which implies she doesn't have to do anything dangerous like pulling a headshot. So he will do any dangerous activities in which Jodie's life will be at stake or if she will hesitate.

While promising her he said, "until he is around". That means it's not only for the mission but anytime he is around and anything and everything he can do to help her out. He is willing to go out of his way for her.

Just because Jodie hesitated doesn't mean that she will never try to do any dangerous activities. It's a human's natural tendency to think before acting when it comes to risking their own life. FBI agents need to learn things, cope up with pressure and have to act accordingly. Here, it's Shuichi who doesn't want Jodie to get involved in any dangerous activity. This shows his care and the fear of risking her life, which he doesn't want to do at all. Rather he will give up on his own life.

He is a practical and serious-minded person. So if he promised this for a lifetime, he gotta be damn serious. He is willing to anything and everything for her and he will go to the lengths of giving up on his life for her.

Body language. They play a very important role.

A. During that conversation, he looked straight into her eyes twice, even while driving-

While asking if she can do the dangerous things

While making the promise.

This shows his how much he wants to protect her. People look into eyes while saying truth and emphasising it even more. This also shows seriousness. Here Shuichi not only made a promise but made her at ease. She doesn't need to take stress for that.

B. While giving the promise he smiled. Facial expressions are a very important part of body language. And the promise is the most important part because he is talking about something really serious. And while smiling like that he clearly indicates how much important and precious Jodie is to him. He can give his life without a second thought. Well to keep an important person safe, the willingness to give up on his own life shows exactly how important they are- more than one's own life.

And Gosho makes it a very big deal when he smiles. It's rare. It is such a warm side of him to witness from a person who doesn't have a bright personality, considering his personality what James said ( FBI vs BO P-1,2 ch-504,505) and Masumi still believes that he never smiled at. Maybe he never did in those types etc but he does smile at her but she is unaware. So it's a biggie if he smiles at someone. Moreover, he smiled at the promise of risking his own life.

C. While promising, he performed a drastic activity. He pointed his fingers forming a gun at her. Why did he do that?

Showing drastic activity or any different activity from what usually one does in certain situations shows a different state of energy. Here he showed his eagerness and willingness. He didn't need to explain it by pointing at her nose. Generally, anyone can understand where to point if explained well. But he surprised her by showing how difficult the work is and the next second promised her. This shows his unhesitating mindset of sacrificing himself for Jodie.

Surprising Jodie like that had a purpose. Shuichi didn't want her to do anything like that all from the beginning. Understanding where to point, that is at the nose, is no rocket science that is difficult to understand. So he surprised her, showing the level of risk while shooting a headshot, on purpose. She got surprised at the moment which made her hesitate and the next second followed his promise. So surprising her which followed by the promise was on purpose.

This shows their closeness to each other. Shuichi or anyone ( in general) won't point his fingers like that at one who ain't close to him. But he did because it's Jodie after all. One gets more expressive and free to do things with closed ones.

10. The scene is after Vermouth arc, Japan.

Thanks @geissbock ! you can spot important things like Shinichi does! The numberplate used in the scene is Japanese.

It's matches with the time line too- 10 years ago, he was 21-22 as now he is 31-32. There is uncertainty in the age gap by consecutive numbers because we don't know anyone's birthday. So 10 years ago he informed his family in Japan that after 3 years of experience and written tests he can join the FBI. So he must have joined the FBI at the age of around 24-25 years. And Gosho said that he dated Jodie soon after he joined the FBI. Now 5 years ago when he broke up with her, he was around 26-27 since he is 31-32 now and had long hair back then. Now it would be impossible that his hair grew so long, covering his back within a span of a year. Imagine this situation- he promised when he was 25-26( his hair were short)and at 26-27(his hair covered his back) he broke up. And since he used the word "sacrifice" he should have dated for some time to the point of loving her that deeply. So it's impossible that he promised her in NY but he did in Japan.

This proves that Jodie is a very close and important person in Shuichi's life and he cannot afford to lose her even at the cost of his life. Even that, so much has happened between them.

That past wasn't in their favour and nor the present is.

Past involving that he used a very kind-hearted woman for his mission + that woman played all along with him for God knows how long, which must be so terrible even just to think + she risked her own life + did a huge favour for Shuichi's mission when this mission was his personal goal+and she died. Then Shuichi failed his promise which he gave to Shiho back then + Shiho lost her only family. And most importantly Akemi's life purpose didn't fulfil- to take her sister out of BO. Moreover, almost every FBI agents know that he was affected by Akemi's death. This is so complicated!

This means Jodie holds a very important place in his heart and she plays a very important role in his life. His feelings are really at a deeper level for her that he didn't hesitate to promise something so big! Hence the past is not interfering between them up to the extent of him to admit on his own that how much she still means to him! To add more to it, he smiled! Gosho makes a huge deal when he smiles. And it's a promise for a lifetime!

He won't do this for everyone, because he promised only to Jodie.

There will be many agents who are trained and willing and inclined to carry out difficult operations and might hesitate a little. Not necessarily he will always take the charges. Hesitation is a natural tendency, not a sign of never trying to attempt. Everything is done for the first time in the beginning and sure they would have felt nervous. But that doesn't mean they won't do things. It's just a part of learning.

He will take charges when the job comes to the best sniper in the world. He can't take away other's jobs and chances.

He won't go out of his way, that is besides missions to save every FBI agent. He is not everyone's saviour.

In fact, it's impractical to save every FBI agent every time. It's a very risky job to do that can cost lives. He knows the reality very well.

That's why in the clash of Red and Black he suggested not to focus on Esuke's life that much, although he was the one who saved him at the end.

In the recent chapter of the FBI serial murder case, he didn't go to shoot before, while they were trying to capture BO members. He went after, was required to, that is as the best sniper who can shoot for more than 1300yards and saved Camel's life by shooting at the torch while he was literally running.

Now for Jodie, according to his promise-

He won't let her do something dangerous like pulling a headshot, either on a mission or not, in any condition except it's impossible for him to be with her.

He'll protect her no matter what! By physically and mentally.

He is willing to give up in his own life.

So he is willing to stay with her after all, for a lifetime!! By promising this, he gave her the exact picture of how much she is important to him and what she means in his life.

And let me point out very clearly - He is not a jerk who is maintaining this relationship just to work with her. He can work without getting closer and she is highly professional. If he can work with Bourbon who hates him to death( Asaka case and now he is even willing to work with him since he and Yusaku proposed to him something, the Tea party ), he can work with an ex without faking anything. So he ain't faking anything with her and that's not his personality either. So they have to stay in contact and have to work together in future and maybe they will possibly hang out too.

Now, how Jodie should perceive this? What should she think about this promise considering their current relationship and future? His lifetime protection, the friendship, his act of care. How long should she take this and how long she can? Is he implying that he is stuck with his past but doesn't want to leave her either BUT with the condition of being friends? Did they ever decide this?

WHEN?

When did they agree by exchanging words to stay ONLY friends forever? Did Shuichi ever tell her if he has feeling for another woman? Did he ever ask her to stop hoping if they can get back together? DID THEY HAVE THIS IMPORTANT TALK EVER?

NEVER!!!!

If we look at the panel of clash of Red and Black, Jodie assumes that he still thinks about her. And they knew this because of the expression he gave after Akemi died. That means he never told Jodie anything about his exact feelings for Akemi.

"And when she died, you could tell from Akai-Kun's expression that..."

"Probably Shuu, still thinks about her."

So after coming back he never said anything about it.

Jodie started to work on this mission when Sharon died. It was around or less than a year before Akemi's death. And at one point in time, they agreed to work together. And sure it must be uncomfortable in the beginning. So in those months, he didn't have time to have this important conversation with her especially IF he never wanted a relationship in the first place? It would be foolish to assume by anyone, that an ex who hasn't moved on yet for god sake 5 years, won't seek anything in future. And it's even stupid if the ex would just want to be a friend forever without any talk or any clarification.

So we can clearly say that it's just their mutual understanding that they didn't speak about it, moreover a common sense at the moment because-

He was on a run, and it was the time when he should avoid getting close to her so that enemies won't have a clue. Imagine if he would visit his family at that time. No, he won't, so he stayed away from her for her safety.

They both, especially Jodie, were mostly focused on the mission. The mission was connected to their life's purpose!

It wasn't the right time to talk about their relationship when the time was about life and death.

So basically, they never talked. But that doesn't mean denial. Just because one can't be in a relationship in the present time, doesn't imply that they don't have feelings of love. There wasn't a little hint ever if Shuichi ever told her that they can't be in a relationship ever or neither he showed any hint like he tried to avoid her INSTEAD here, he showed her that she means to him more than his own life.

In Jodie's flashback, all she recalls is the breakup and straight after that, she thinks that she was happy to work with him anyway. This doesn't show any refusal for the future. It just shows that they broke up but she was happy to stay with him again while working with him.

Feelings and context don't give the slightest hint if he ever denied their future. Honestly, refusal becomes a very important thing in these kinds of situations especially when people want different things from each other. And people get uncomfortable n this type of situation so they talk, clarify or give hints by body language like maintaining distance etc. But there is no slight hint if he ever denied or had that important talk ever instead it shows other things way around. Rather he has never shown a little discomfort around her, the way she behaves and how he promised her something really important.

And Jodie can actually tell things from people's expressions.

In the Kir arc, she saw Conan's scarred face and she continued to investigate( ch-500).

In the Scarlett investigation, she noticed Conan's expression and went to Raiha Pass.

In the clash of red and black (Ch-599) it was Jodie who caught Shuichi's reaction that he looked excited. Even James had to confirm what she implied before-"about what?"/"what can I say?").

So if Shuichi would have shown a little hesitation, Jodie would have known. But we have never seen anything from Jodie's side if he is keeping a distance because of the relationship. And if he would have done that, Jodie wouldn't have hoped anything ever and would have kept her distance by herself. She never said anything from her side and focused on the mission. She knew this is no time to speak about their personal matter. So from the flashback, it's clear he never denied anything for their future.

And Shuichi knows how much he means to her. He knew how much she would suffer when he was about to fake his death. He knew from the beginning that she still loves him. So why is he showing two different emotions? But is he? We can say that he won't want to be in a relationship at that time for various reasons like-

It's not the right time to get back together when they both are on this important mission which is their life's purpose.

There is this uncertainty of if he'll live at the end or not. So giving her hope and taking it away when things aren't in his hand can make it very hard in future. He surely hates to hurt her.

They both don't have time right now to date each other.

Shuichi got many things to do, before personally getting involved with her again. He has to repay the debt by saving Haibara.

But that doesn't mean that he doesn't have feelings for Jodie. They are working together, are in contact with each other so it's satisfactory according to the critical circumstances they are facing now.

So without any CLARIFICATIONS, this can be complicated way too much in many ways-

If he doesn't want a relationship at all so she should move on according to him when he deeply cares for her feelings.

He can lose his friendship with Jodie, which he has right now. Which he surely won't like as she is very important for him in his life.

But if she didn't move on when he wasn't around her how will she if he is promising such a big thing!? She never stopped loving him, even after knowing that he broke up with her because of the mission and he had to date another woman. But still, she loved him then and still loves him unconditionally for more than 5 years.

Now, how Jodie should perceive this promise as? An ex, who gave her this promise in which he doesn't want to lose her, to the point of willingness to lose his own life, but probably thinks of another woman, maybe mainly because of guilt, but don't want to lose her either at any cost?

The feeling of being so important to him, even more than his life, without any important talk can become so complex that it is way out of imagination.

It becomes so hurtful to stay with someone you love on the terms of friendship. And this becomes worse with time. And by promising her, Shuichi clearly stated to her, that how much she still means to him, in his life, his willingness to stay by her side, especially after they broke up.

Jodie's feelings are her responsibility but Shuichi has his responsibility too. He should not make things harder for her. And he will never make it worse or even hard since he hates to hurt her.

Honestly, it can become really hard for Jodie in future and the present can leave her in a dilemma. And these things contradict so much when he gates to hurt her. It's clear from this post that he doesn't want to her at any cost 👇

And Shuichi is well aware of everything. He doesn't take part in any complex things if he has no interest in them.

Denying to act as a father figure, wasn't easy, especially after knowing that there is a little kid, who will never receive fatherly love at such a tender age. She will not only miss her father but also her big brother.

Leaving his whole family wasn't easy.

Reducing his communication, even cutting the communication completely, with his family, especially his little sister, wasn't easy. In ch-1035-38 it's clear that he loves his little sister so much!

He was well aware of the fact that his decision will shock and hurt Mary so much. As a mother, letting her child investigate something so dangerous, the decision was no easy at all.

But he wanted to catch them and give them the punishment they deserve because they made his family suffer. His sister never saw their father, his mother suffered as she lost her husband and he and his little brother lost their father. So he denied it straightforwardly to Mary. And Mary, with time, wanted the bad guys to get punished too, so she agreed and let Shuichi do what he desired.

So, if he is offering from his side something like that, he must have thought about everything in his mind from the beginning! Because the promise he made is no child's play. It's serious as fuck! Well, he doesn't like it when she gets hurt emotionally. He felt so bad and disappointed when she didn't take him seriously and was worried for her in the clash of Red and Black. And he never showed that worried of face ever (till now) in the manga. He was worried for her because she will get hurt because of his stunt.

So if he doesn't want anything except friendship terms then he should have told Jodie sometime or at least, should have implied indirectly. If she agrees, stay friends and if not then maintain a healthy distance. Instead, he told her he is willing to give his life for her.

Idk what kind of ex who doesn't seek things himself but will never clarify directly or indirectly especially when they don't want to hurt their ex-partner and doesn't participate in complicated things when they don't have interest at all. That means they have to be on same the page regarding these feelings considering he never denied their possible relationship especially if he never intended to have it in future. That should be taken care of first when promising something so big like that.

Some Important things to be noted-

He broke up for his job, not because his feelings changed. Since he replied just after she asked that he has to crush this organization by any means, it's clear that he did for his mission. Well, that's what Gosho said in SDB.

It must be so heartbreaking for himself as he was really sad while saying that, to leave a person he was so serious. The word "Sacrifice" is way beyond to explain. This word is used when people have to give up on something which is very precious to them, close to their heart that they personally don't want to lose but have no other choice.

He wasn't able to look at her until he admitted his inability to date, two women.

He closed his eyes while saying he has to break up with her, like his heart was resisting to say that but he did for his family and for her safety. He looked so unhappy there. It's tough to lose first love after all whom he dated for real.

Let's make this clear, he won't date unless he won't be really serious and will never waste a single second in the first place when he joined the FBI to catch the people who are responsible for his father's disappearance. So he was really serious with her while dating.

That means his feelings never changed for her in the very first place because he won't fall again for anyone after suffering through that horrible incident. He loved her back then and he still loves her to the point he won't lose her.

Conclusion:

Shuichi still loves Jodie, more than his own life!

Now that we understand the promise which helped us to know about Shuichi's current feelings for Jodie, it's time to decide whether it's non-Canon or not.

Let's see what Gosho Aoyama has to offer!

Before that let's see first how much Gosho is involved in the process of making movies. This will show Gosho's dedication to movies in general- ( it's from Gosho Aoyama interview 2014, for Movie 18 . You can find it just after the Lupin III interview on detectiveconanworld website.)

Actually, Gosho showed Shuichi's feelings for Jodie on a larger scale! Since the trailer mostly focused on Shuichi and Jodie, especially his promise, it's obvious that that the promise scene was the most important scene of the movie!

Even though Monkey Punch's motto is to let them do everything, he still gets involved! There is no chance that he will change an important and famous character's feeling like Shuichi just because it's a movie!

Even if the staff tries to add anything they want, they end up changing everything. And after completing it, Gosho checks and reviews it👇

He checks the storyboard and scripts and he even ends up changing god knows how many things if it doesn't get matches with the Manga!!! Since he said all scripts that mean he does that for almost every movie! Then surely for this dialogue, he would have agreed before they can animate anything. Gooood how much work you do so that we can enjoy Sensei!!!!! Seriously people need to stop criticising him!!!

Now the question arises: What does Gosho think about this MOVIE in particular?

Well, he mentioned that IT'S THE FIRST TIME, THE MOVIE HAS THE SAME STORY AS MANGA!!

There is nothing new in the story that hasn't been shown in MANGA !!!!

So no question arises if he changed Shuichi's feelings for the sake of fans and he altered them because this is particularly a movie! Well, the spoiler was there anyways. So we can safely say from his statement that this story is the SAME as the ORIGINAL story. And by the same, I am saying some particular scenes, the feelings of the character, not all the events that occurred in the movie like destruction etc. It's up to Gosho if he wants to make the whole movie canon or not. And we can also conclude that the warning Shuichi gave was nothing like a friend, although they are on terms for NOW.

It's the first time and the story is the same as Manga!!! ( Read the last line. It's the interview taken from 2014 interview that was taken before the movie release) So this movie is different from other movies that were released before!

He said that it can't be done in manga. That means it cannot be drawn in Manga as art. He didn't say that it can't be in Manga. He said it can't be done as Manga but only in anime! Here he meant by action scenes. It's very difficult to draw in manga each and every move." And since it'll be done as an anime they added tons of action scenes to it. " Many action scenes like Ran beating the culprit so that he can get caught alive, Jodie firing the car of the culprit while saving Conan and Masumi and so that the culprit can run away, Conan chasing the culprit and Masumi picking him up on the road are important for the story to proceed! And since it's an anime, they added more like bike stunts and blasts etc. Actions scenes are something that can only be shown in anime, mentioned by Gosho. Well, he told the same for Movie20, where he wanted to show Shuichi and Amuro fighting. Imagine how difficult it is to draw every single move to show the fluency of the fight. And he said in movies he likes to blow cars which gives his assistant a hard time! ( His assistant starts crying - that's what he said to be specific. I wish I could upload that SS but 10 pictures are the limit on Tumblr) He also said the same when he was questioned about yaiba and about the action scenes involved in the series. ( The interview was published around 2014-16 and can be found on detectiveconanworld website as well)

And he said there are a lot of ties with the original story! Now, what can be the ties? Whatever that can coincide or fit in Manga. If we consider Manga, Shuichi always followed Jodie when her life could be at risk. And he saved her 3 times in manga.

Vermouth arc. It was unplanned that Shuichi will go. Jodie didn't know he would come. She was surprised as he came. She thought that she would die but he came and saved the day. And he went there because he got worried as he didn't get any updates.

In the bus hijack, he went there. In the end, he said the target didn't appear, it was for Sherry. If Jodie was going anyway, why did he go there? It was because this time she was going outside of the school premises where Vermouth can easily harm her. Shuichi and Jodie had no idea that Vermouth was well aware of the fact that FBI agents sneaked into her house. Vermouth thought the FBI can help her find out Sherry, so she decided to act like she didn't notice anyone sneaked into her apartment. Similarly, if she would have found Sherry and if she would have got a way to kill her at that time, she might have done that. But he went there instead of letting any other FBI agent follow her, who came to help Jodie. The fact that he was working with Jodie should be hidden at all cost but for Jodie's safety, he took the gamble. Well, it's clear from this post that he did his best to hide himself from Vermouth while he was working with Jodie.👇And he did his best, especially for Jodie!

3. In Red T-Shirt omen, Shuichi said he saw someone familiar on TV. But in Scarlett's prologue, he explained why he visited the Mall. He was referring to Jodie there. ( In Manga it's only Jodie in the background) So what did he do? He saw scar Akai but followed Jodie to know the whereabouts of scar Akai. He knew that Jodie would be BO's first target. And after Jodie and Conan asked the saleswoman, he asked about what Jodie asked her too, to grasp the situation. Then he spotted scar Akai. And after the case was solved he was waiting near the exit because he knew Jodie is highly willing to follow scar Akai. So he saved her life again.

4. In the car chase, he said that Bourbon would try to capture ONE of his close colleagues. And they knew that Jodie would definitely come once she started to doubt the death. So they wanted to catch her there. And Shuichi was well aware of the fact that she will definitely go to investigate. So he followed there too and since Camel went all along so he saved both.

Saving Jodie has always been canon no matter what the situation arises as written in point 1,2,4 and the promise is related to her safety. And since it is so connected with the original story and that scene is one of the most important scenes of the movie, this is one of the things that have ties with the original story! Well, don't expect he'll tell this directly. He is a mystery writer after all. He only gives clues and makes us deduce.

Conclusion:

From what Gosho said, it is clear that this promise can be categorised as CANON or has TIES with the original story! Especially when at the end he said the movie lots of ties with the original story, considering it's a promise made by an important, serious and famous character like Shuichi!

Gosho drew Shuichi there. He was the one who came up with the scene and even he wasn't, then he 100℅ agreed with the scene as he checks and changes the script before it gets passed as a storyboard. Because they needed the vision to animate before, Gosho gave them a perfect picture of how Shuichi should talk and smile. Now Gosho made him smile that much( look at the one above the snap of the animated one) given that he rarely smiles, and he makes a big deal when he smiles so it's a biggie!

Here is the treat ;) Gosho actually loved that scene! He was so much excited to see the scene of Jodie and Shuichi and he loved it! Here is the article 👇

I believe it was said by Monkey Punch, the one who draws for the movies. Here is the translation- again thank you @geissbock ❤️❤️

"Gosho loves the scene of Akai and Jodie most. He was really excited. He is some kind of weird person that loves that scene right?(laugh). When I write something different from him he's not that excited. I think he feels good when he sees something new and fresh"

Mark Gosho's love for the scene and his excitement! Now that scene is iconic for Shuichi himself! It's very important for Shuichi considering his dark past with both the women especially when the scene is after Akemi's death. Then Gosho must be really careful about doing something like that. But he even included that scene on his own, we can say that from the translation part, drew Shuichi himself and checked the script and what not, to pass on the storyboard to animate it. He could have simply added something while they were dating but...he didn't. So? Yep, it's very very safe to say that Shuichi still loves Jodie, from Gosho's POV and his works( isn't that how we perceive the ultimate truth of the DC universe?).

Fan services

Fan service is a broad term. After collecting information is from various sites like Wikipedia, Medium daily, qoura and every other sites that appeared after googling it, here is what I analysed and here it is summarised-

Fan services are the scenes in Anime as well as Manga, which are done to please the audience which has no relevance with the actual story whatsoever. Example- Zero's tea time. It has no connection with the Manga as it doesn't contribute to the original story. Similarly, the plot of movies is considered non-canon because they are for fans to enjoy, a type of fan service and doesn't contribute to the original story. Fan services are also there in anime, as well as manga which may or may not contribute nothing to the main story. For example, bikini shots of female characters etc. These kind of racy sexual scenes are fan servises. Conan blushing at Ran's cleavage, his nose starts to bleed etc are fan services but it is 100% Canon. It was purely done for fans to enjoy the chapter. If we take out this scene, the case of Masumi is from Akai family, Conan noticing child form of Mary on Masumi's phone and the murder case would have proceeded without any disturbance. Masumi getting impressed by Momiji's bust size is fan service too. Actually Momiji's bust size doesn't even contribute to the BO investigation XD. Now take an important note that fan services aren't negative thing what usually comes in our mind and not necessary that it's not canon. In manga, it's canon but only for the sake of viewers to enjoy, presented in a flow with the story.

But for this movie, specifically it was mentioned by Gosho that there are a lot of ties with the original story. There is nothing new shown in this movie that hasn't been shown in the manga. And the story is similar to the original story. Okay, I'm not saying the whole movie is considered as canon but from what Gosho said that this movie has lots of ties with the original story. Saving Jodie has always been an important part of the original story and has been contributed to the investigation of BO. She appears only when BO chapters continues. A serious character like Shuichi promising something is not a joke! Also it has been 100% Canon that she does hold an important place in Shuichi's heart. She is an important part of his life, in his past, in the preset and now that I have already proven that how much she is important to him so also in future. Its undeniable that she is different from other agents. So Jodie's safety has always been canon, important for the main plot of BO, and her importance in Shuichi's life. It's not only canon but it contributes to the main story, that is BO. HENCE IT'S NOT A FAN SERVICE! So it's certain that this scene is one of the things that has ties with the original story which is not done just for the viewer to enjoy but will contribute to the original story. But the whole movie, blasts, accidents Jodie meeting Masumi, these are non-canon.

Summary-

It has been proven that, Shuichi still loves Jodie, more than his own life. He is willing to go to any lengths to save her life. His terrible past didn't make him hesitate a little to practically admit in front of Jodie, that how important she is to him. This means his feelings for Jodie never changed! That's what his CURRENT feelings for Jodie. Finally, and most importantly this particular scene from the movie, is Canon! Said and hinted so many times by Gosho himself!

And now, here is a short clip of all scenes of Restarling from the M18 trailer! 😉❤

And really really, thank you for your patience.

❤R❤E❤D❤❤S❤T❤A❤R❤L❤I❤N❤G❤

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widowshunt-blog · 6 years

Text

sadie adler was a rampaging woman that knew when to have control over herself and her actions, and when she wanted to cause havoc. while in a calm and collective state, her eyes bore into the fire that provided her warmth and comfort, the features of her face highlighted by the flames that burned brightly. “ ‘ve always like t’play with fire. ” her tone came out rough as she spoke to catch the man’s attention, words truthful to her actions she’s committed the more she traveled with dutch’s gang.

@scarpelted ♡’d for a lyrical based starter!

#scarpelted #; hello! please let me know if this needs to be changed. xoxo.#. interaction » to do list: get revenge.#. arc i » always prepare for the worst and never trust people.

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palmett-hoes · 4 years

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what's your take on the foxes mbti?

oh buddy ur never gonna believe this but i wrote a foxes MBTI post YEARS ago

im also not into mbti anymore and haven't been for many years so that post is probably still more accurate and in-depth than what i could give you now. i’m just gonna copy the whole thing but i read it over and it still totally vibes w how i understand the characters, like way more than i was expecting it to. i only made one edit (it’s marked) and it was to add a detail not change anything

i hope you’re really really into mbti otherwise this’ll probably be gobbeldegook

i used to be obessively into mbti so here’s an analysis based on cognitive functions mostly.

SKIP IF YOU WANT. for anyone with no idea how it works, here’s a quick rundown: cognitive functions are about the way people think, process, and prioritize information, not necessarily how they act, though people who think the same way often act the same. the 8 letters that make up a type represent how people process and prioritize internal and external stimuli. every letter actually has an ‘internal’ and 'external’ form so there’s Thinking (internal(ti) and external(te)), Feeling (internal(fi) and external(fe)), Sensing (internal(si) and external(se)), and iNtuition(internal(ni) and external(ne)) t’s always go with a corresponding and opposite f (like ti and fe always go together), same with s’s and n’s (ex: si and ne always go together). a set of t, f, s, and n in a specific order makes an mbti type.

neil: intp (ti ne si fe)

neil has incredible analytical ability although it’s very programmed for survival but he’s also a fast thinker and very quick to adapt to new environments. he also approaches things from original angles that other people dont consider, all that sounds like high ti/ne. the lower functions fit well too. in times of stress, he returns to old habits and falls back on what’s familiar, that’s classic low si. his emotions are also very exterior. he’s bad with other people from lack of exposure, but he’s committed to harmony between those close to him and has an impeccable ability to read the emotional states of others while being completely oblivious of his own, and his sense of self is tied to exterior things like exy, friends, keys, and legal documents (lol) that’s fe

andrew: intj (ni te fi se)

ni is really hard to describe but it has to do with being able to draw conclusions from scattered input, which fits with andrew’s uncanny ability to spot lies and obsession with finding out the truth, especially with high te, which is about spatial order and logic, think of how prioritized he is with the physical order of things: who sits where, who wears what, etc. a lot of people want to make andrew infj i bet as like a “subversive reading” but he’s definitely not. i used to be really close to an infj and they have hyper-empathy, as in she would describe not just caring about other people and being able to read their emotional states but literally feeling the things the people around her felt. this is a common result of the ni/fe combo, and the reason why andrew is definitely not infj. tertiary fi fits very well instead because andrew is deeply attuned to his own inner emotional state. he’s self-confident and doesn’t care about other people’s perception of him, but he’s also very concerned with his own feelings and understanding them, even if they’re repressed. he’s also very aware of his physical surroundings, which plays into his deductive ability, although it’s not his focus. that’s low se

kevin: estj (te si ne fi)

kevin is a classic estj. he’s controlling, demanding, and driven. he tries to control the actions of those around him and gets very distressed when things dont run smoothly, as well as having strong feelings about improving efficiency. high te people make great managers. kevin’s whole story arc is about breaking old habits, which is a very si problem. it has to do with trusting and craving memory and familiarity, and explains kevins need for endless repetition. he’s innovative, though, coming up with new strategies and drills (ne), it’s just based on what’s already familiar, and you can see him spiral into creating all possible worst-case scenarios when he’s stressed (low ne stress reaction, they like to be prepared). finally, he’s a dick, but he cares about other people and wants to improve their lives, as well as being very reliant on other people’s perceptions of him to define his own self-image (low fe)

dan: esfj (fe si ne ti)

dan’s top priority, over everything else, is her team. she wants her team to improve, she wants her team to win, she wants her team to work together. it’s all about the collective. we also see that she’s very open with others and makes a lot of effort to both make new ties and maintain old ones, that’s high fe. she’s sentimental and attached to the past too (si) esp the photo wall, but we also see her very unwilling to let go of the past ie the monsters but eventually willing to change and grow to mend team cohesion (ne). we also see the fight in underlying logic (low ti) with her: she knows the team needs the monsters to cooperate but she cant figure out how to do it

matt: enfj (fe ni se ti)

so enfj’s experience infj hyper-empathy too, but to a slightly lesser extent (primary fe is more group cohesion, secondary fe is more understanding others), and through this we see matt’s easy-going open friendliness and ability to befriend even prickly little neil, because he has an extremely good sense of what other people are feeling and need, it also explains why he doesn’t hold a grudge against the cousins in the same way dan does, because he understands where they were coming from. se is associated with a general boisterousness for life, as it’s about experiencing the world around you, which explains matt’s happy-go-lucky disposition and puppydog behavior. the ti aspects mostly go into supporting fe/ni empathic senses

allison: entj (te ni se fi)

i mean, allison’s controlling, both in that she orders other people around and in that her physical being and space are very planned and organized (her clothes, her hair, her makeup, etc) but at the same time there isn’t much sentimentality to her, like how she doesn’t care when her car was destroyed. she easily replaces things because she cares about the object’s purpose, not its history and that all smacks of high te/ni. and i mean, the se definitely contributes to her love of designer things and killer looks, because she cares about the world immediately around her, and why live if not in luxury? and fi? is there any character more aggressively self-confident than allison reynolds?? going against her parents’ wishes for her takes a really strong, independent sense of self, but we also see the problems that can come from not worrying about other people, in how she starts fights and can be abrasive and catty

renee: infp (fi ne si te)

okay this one was really hard tbh. a list of other considerations: isfp, istp, and infj. it’s very easy to read renee as high fe because she’s kind, but i think it’s a mischaracteration of why she’s kind. it’s not because it comes naturally to her, it’s because it’s a conscious choice that makes her feel better about herself. high fi people often read as fe because they’re so comfortable with themselves and in tune with their own needs that they can then go and provide for others. i associate her religion with ne, because contemplation and acceptance of the divine later in life is a very metaphysical undertaking that undoubtedly requires a lot of abstract thought. renee’s storyline also revolves a lot around using things from her past and putting a conscious effort into leaving things from her past behind (how she still uses the skills she learned from her past in new ways ie sparring with andrew and protecting the upperclassmen v/s how she held on to her knives even when she knew it was detrimental to her moving on) this sounds like si. her protective instincts also feed into the te need for order, but it’s a looser leash than say andrew, as it’s lower on her function stack but still present

nicky: esfp (se fi te ni)

godd nicky is like a prototypical esfp. i mean nicholas “sex, drugs, and parties” hemmick cant be anything but se dominant. nicky is all about living it up and living in the moment. like he’s sporadic and ive seen it lead people to think he could be enfp but he doesn’t think enough about the meaning of things to be ne dominant (like how he makes somewhat predatory jokes and such, he’s all about the here-and-now while ne is about the past and future simultaneously). also he of all characters has incredibly prominent fi, as his whole character is about living unashamedly as himself as a gay man and the immense self-awareness and inner strength it takes not only to come out to unaccepting parents but also to leave and start a new life when they rejected him. however, fi is also indicative of his communication problems with his family, as he’s unable to tell that the cousins are fundamentally different from him in their needs and boundaries, leading him to pushing them, making them uncomfortable, and being unable to help them, because he’s unable to understand them. the rest are much more hidden, but a party boy shopaholic like nicky would probably need some amount of te order in like an organized chaos fashion (and he’s often headcanoned as liking to throw parties) and you do see him become somewhat pushy, even controlling in those scenarios. ni is the hardest but could maybe be seen in how he’s attuned to the cousins reactions for all that he cant predict them/doesn’t do anything on his own part to prevent them (the way he handles andrew is like if someone poked a rattlesnake knowing damn well what it would do and then freaked out when he got bit)

aaron: istj (si te fi ne)

im a little iffy on this one and worry it might be an analysis based on his trauma instead of complimentary to it, but aaron’s arc is about breaking out of his habit of holding on to the past. he refuses to work towards moving on from his mother’s death, refuses to listen to things that contradict his preconceived notions, and refuses to make changes in his life that could improve it. that’s unhealthy si. he’s really a very unhealthy istj, and most of his traits manifest through his unhappiness with his life. take his te. that would imply that he needs control over his surroundings, but aaron is incredibly bitter and unhappy BECAUSE he doesn’t have control of his surroundings. he doesn’t get to make his own choices, he doesn’t get to control his space, and he hates it. his relationship with katelyn is also indicative of being an istj. it’s stable, not a passionate fling, but aaron is mocked for wanting that white picket fence, married with kids in the suburbs kind of life, and his relationship, which is his primary source of happiness, is built on stability, which is a very si thing to do. in terms of fi, it is aaron that ultimately forces change between himself and andrew. he may have been pushed but he ultimately came down to him knowing what made him happy and what made him miserable and acting on that. also, he’s an ornery asshole who clearly doesn’t care what other people think of him. fi. i dont really have anything to say in terms of ne, probably because he’s so unhealthy but also because he’s not too explored. heyy istj’s make great doctors

wymack: isfj (si fe ti ne)

okay this one was genuinely the hardest to decide on but ultimately i came to the conclusion that wymack, much like renee, is such a developed person that he loses many defining traits of the functions, and can be read in many different ways. so: wymack’s primary goal is the safety and betterment of other people (ie his team). he wants to help people overcome their pasts, which is a very atypical approach to si, but is si nonetheless. on a personal level, too, he’s never able to move on from people, and specifically never moved on from kayleigh, continuing their shared dream of an exy team for abused kids long after her death. as ive said before, fe in a secondary position is about deep understanding of other people, and wymack’s ability to understand what other people are struggling through is legendary. the ti mostly serves as support to the fe, serving as the analytical backup in allowing him to understand others. as for ne: he is most definitely an innovator with unusual ideas, or the foxes wouldn’t exist

riko: estp (se ti fe ni)

riko is basically what happens when an estp goes bad down to the core. he’s obsessed with personal glory and immediate self-fulfillment (se) he has no impulse control or fear of consequences. interestingly, high se is often associated with athleticism, because high se people are intensly focused on their surroundings (exy). his ti is also super unhealthy as he gets obsessed with ideas that dont really work with objective reality, like his obsession with ownership and power dynamics despite them not actually being efficient, even backwards. the tertiary fe he uses to manipulate. he doesn’t empathize with others, but he can tell their emotional state and what’s important to them, and uses it to coerce them and destroy their sense of self, like how he knew he could get neil to the nest by threatening andrew. EDIT: /additionally, fe people especially in the lower half of the function stack tend to derive their sense of self from the perceptions of others around them, which riko very much shows in how he needs to be acknowledged as the best and won’t allow any competition for his title, as well as his desperation for acknowledgement from his family/. finally, that ni allowed him to keep multiple plans in place focused on one ultimate goal: getting kevin back. the sheer amount of schemes he sets up in order to fool and push people the way he wants is honestly kinda impressive, but he’s a toxic shithead and im glad he’s rotting. definitely not representative of all estp’s

this is honestly SO funny to read back a few years later bc HOOOOO boy was i way too into this stuff. and this was written a couple years after my Peak MBTI Obsession, which was honestly scary

#txt #the foxes #dan wilds #kevin day #andrew minyard #matt boyd #aaron minyard #allison reynolds #nicky hemmick #renee walker #neil josten #wymack #riko moriyama #my posts #im talkin #ask #anon #anonymous

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your-turn-to-role · 4 years

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alright i've got an hour on the train with nothing to do time for caduceus meta

i'm just thinking about how this is gonna affect our boy going forward, like, even best case scenario where they get him back and he's fine, this whole day has to have been really shaking him up?

caduceus has a +9 to wis saves, he really shouldn't fail them ever. he's probably never really had to worry about them before, because that's his strong suit, and also taliesin's usual luck, it takes a lot to mess with caduceus' mind and ability to center himself. but he didn't just fail one wis save last episode, he failed every single one (never rolled higher than a nat 5), except fjord's last command spell - something that it would have been better had he failed. and the memory thing, while it's still a mental influence he wasn't resistant against, that one's not that bad, caduceus doesn't put a huge amount of stake in his ability to recall things, he'd rather trust in what he's currently feeling and what he currently knows.

but what happens when that gets fucked with? because that's the worst part, this thing took what caduceus uses to ground himself - the faith that he's always moving in the right direction - and completely twisted it for its own intentions. matt's always excelled at possession and mind control narration, because he gets what motivates the characters and personalises it. when caleb was influenced in episode 55, that played on his trust issues and paranoia due to his past - his friends are working against him, they've been trying to take him down the whole time and he was an idiot who trusted them, he should have realised they were out to get him earlier, and now he has to fight for his life.

whatever this entity or influence is this time, though, is playing with cad's sense of destiny and purpose. this is where you need to go, this is what things have been leading to, this has the answer to all your questions, that thing you're searching for? it's here. this is more important than everything else because this is what you were put here to do. he doesn't attack fjord, because that's not who he is - he's not caleb, who's still always waiting for a fight he sees as inevitable. caduceus believes fighting is a last resort, if you can reason, do so, and don't step into a fight you don't have to - sometimes they're just trying to distract you.

which is exactly his approach here. he knows where he has to go, and he has to do that first. he's aware fjord has concerns, but he'll get to those later, he can coach someone after he has his answers, after he's fulfilled his purpose. fjord's trying to stop him and fjord means well, but he's still got a lot to learn, he doesn't know these things as well as caduceus, who's been preparing for this his whole life.

nothing about these thoughts are fundamentally different from how caduceus is normally. be it his own plan or the wildmother's (and really, there's not much difference), he absolutely trusts that when he has thoughts like that, he's doing the right thing.

but not this time. this time what he thought was destiny led him unequivocally down the wrong path. and while i don't think caduceus is going to lose faith in the wildmother over this, it might definitely shake that faith in his own rock solid judgement.

like, all of taliesin's characters have different facets of that kind of naive arrogance? the lowkey judgementalism buried in the idea that the things they believe or trust in are definitively right. (and all of them have had high wisdom/insight to back it up, which feeds that more). percy didn't trust himself to always act morally good, but he trusted he was always the smartest person in the room, and made snap judgements of people accordingly. molly didn't know a lot about the world, but he trusted that the social tools learned in the circus were the best way to deal with people, even if people tended to react badly to that. caduceus isn't an evangelist, he doesn't need people to follow the wildmother, but he does believe he knows what's best for them. all of them are the "we're all about to learn a valuable lesson" type (i.e. seeing someone about to cause their own downfall, and watching because they knew not to do that, even if the person in trouble didn't, and because it wasn't serious enough to cause the person's death, they felt no need to interfere).

how's this for a valuable lesson: sometimes you're wrong. sometimes the things you trust in will fail you. sometimes you fail yourself, or your friends, and it leads to disaster. and sometimes, despite what your usual wisdom would suggest, sometimes that's not your fault.

caduceus might be able to square this away as destiny if it leads to something good, but what if it doesn't?

i know the caduceus is gonna die theory is floating round the fandom, and i really hope it didn't happen, not just because i love caduceus, but because it would be the second time taliesin loses a character right before we could get a potentially really interesting turning point in their character arc. and this might be that for caduceus. he can resolve any amount of tragedy with "it was supposed to happen", but can he resolve this?

#tal please you have really interesting characters i wanna see what happens when shit fucks them up #we had a little bit with cad on the boat and there's been moments here and there but i really wanna go deeper here #cr2 #cr spoilers #c2e103 #caduceus clay #cr thoughts #text #meta

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zeta-in-de-walls · 4 years

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Analysis on Tommy’s character’s mental state as a result of the exile arc.

Hey guys, I often makes posts discussing Tommy’s character and one thing that absolutely can’t be ignored is how his character has been traumatised by his experiences during exile. So, I thought I’d discuss in depth and how it’s impacted his behaviour.

In exile Tommy usually described himself as lonely. This is somewhat true but it’s actually a little misleading if you take it at face value. It’s not really loneliness that was his main issue, that was just the easiest one to express. Indeed, people did visit, they just didn’t really help with the issues that were really plaguing him. And there were a few.

-Tommy felt powerless. He was weak and attempting to get stronger himself only lead his hard work to be wasted. Therefore, he was reliant on others for help, and was utterly unable to give them anything back for any help offered.

He also felt trapped, he had to stay on the island so people could find him and visit him but he was not allowed to choose to send time with others himself. He was completely reliant on others deciding to visit him. (Him building not one but two bridges to make it easier for others to visit was all he could do to increase the odds of someone coming to see him.) It wasn’t just loneliness so much as it being something out of his control.

-Tommy felt worthless. He felt like L’Manburg had just seen him as a liability and was increasingly feeling like they were better off without him. No one really cared about him. He didn’t feel like he had value anymore as a person.

He didn’t want someone to visit him, he wanted someone to stay with him - he wanted to feel accepted, validated. That’s why he spent time making a guest tent, so people could spend the night. And was so ecstatic at Mexican Dream agreeing to live with him.

-Tommy is a very clingy person. He’s extremely sociable and becomes attached really easily. He has a hard time letting go too. In exile he constantly missed Tubbo and obsessed over the fact that he hadn’t visited. Leaving on bad terms hurt him. He couldn’t resolve anything and instead his frustration and bitterness grew and grew. He was put into such an awful and dark mindset! Its during this that he lets himself grow attached to Dream instead, who subtly encourages him to believe Tubbo didn’t care.

So, Tommy said he was lonely, but he was way more troubled than he let on.

...

Dream also took advantage of Tommy and performed abusive actions that both confused and traumatised him.

Dream forced him to drop his items, hitting him if he refused and threatening to kill him if he continued to resist. He then acted nice, protecting him, keeping him company and joking around with him.

He lent Tommy his pickaxe and trident. He helped Tommy get primes. He repeatedly blew up Tommy’s armour. He regularly destroyed any diamond tools Tommy got and talked about ‘letting’ him keep some things, like he was being generous. Dream talked about how L’Manburg was prospering with Tommy there, suggesting everyone had moved on while he was the one responsible for sabotaging Tommy’s relationships.

Dream acted like an authority figure, dressing up all his actions as reasonable and Tommy was at fault for making his actions necessary. He lied about Tubbo not caring about his compass. He promised to invite people to his party and then didn’t, letting Tommy believe they chose not to come. Dream’s actions left Tommy increasingly dependent on him, as he was both physically and emotionally very vulnerable (as Dream had induced) and Dream took advantage of it. Finally, when Tommy did a relatively minor act of rebellion, Dream blew up everything. He killed Mushroom Henry and destroyed anything else Tommy was attached to - his tent, the campsite Wilbur built, the prime log.

Now, one of Tommy’s key character flaws is that he is rather irrational. While he can be perceptive, he often gets driven by his emotions rather than logic. (Its part of why he gets attached to things so easily). Usually he doesn’t actually let his feelings control him, but the exile put him under huge emotional turmoil.

-Logically, he always knew that Dream was responsible. He never forgot anything, he was just struggling to process it.

Dream was acting like he cared and Tommy clung on to that. Even once with Techno he described his confusion at his exile and noted that he recalled all the events perfectly but was confused emotionally and basically wasn’t able to deal with his feelings on Dream at all. He knew he ought to hate Dream but wanted to trust him still.

Thinking more on emotions is also why he took Tubbo exiling him so personally - just before Doomsday he apologised and said he understood why Tubbo did it (I think he said it was the right decision even) but at the time he was hurt and felt like Tubbo didn’t care about him. Tommy often acts in the heat of the moment but fixes things afterwards. The issue with his fight with Tubbo was that they were unable to see each other and therefore resolve things, causing it instead to fester and get worse.

So, that’s basically what happened to him throughout exile, but how did this affect his actions? A few different ways.

-He became extremely depressed and almost ended his life. Though he ultimately chose against this, his sense of self-preservation is notably lower. He didn’t seem to be afraid at the possibility of dying during Doomsday. And he was also prepared to confront Dream again over his discs - he had nothing left to lose as far as he was concerned. Once Tommy realised that Dream didn’t want to kill him, he took full advantage of it. He walked up to Dream completely unarmoured while Dream was in full netherite and confidently ordered him around. He was not afraid of dying. And again, he threatened to kill himself if Dream didn’t return after already killing Dream twice. Tommy’s only slowly gaining back his zeal for living.

-He became angry and lashed out. Jack visited him at one point and Tommy spleefed him into lava, killing him absolutely ruthlessly. This is not a nice anger, its a cold destructive one, a result of all his bitterness from his unjust suffering. A minute later, he can only ask, why did he do that? Sometimes, Tommy might seem meeker, but it’s just hiding pain and rage that comes out in the worst of ways.

When no one turns up to his party, Tommy destroys part of the bridge he built for people to visit as he’s angry and has no real way to lash out - it’s not logical but as Tommy expresses: if they really want to visit then they’ll have to make an effort. A few days later he builds another, not because he’s better but because he’s so desperate for company he doesn’t even care if they don’t really care as long as they show up.

His actions while with Techno have him torturing Fundy and Connor, interrogating Ranboo and helping Techno release a wither on L’Manberg. This is not the normal Tommy. This is him releasing his bitterness and rage in a destructive way, with his twisted mindset being vaguely approved of by Technoblade (though even he thought Tommy was going too far!)

-He grew unhealthily attached to anything that gave him any stability in his warped, messed up world. That’s why he started fixating on his music discs so hard. And why he clung to Dream so hard for a while. And why he clung so much to Technoblade, quickly growing dependent on him, desperate for any sort of care and validation.

It’s why he even agreed to help Techno destroy L’Manburg at all. He was in such a warped mindset and wanted to trust Techno even if part of him was appalled by the idea, but his anger at L’Manberg was also clouding his judgement, and he wanted to agree with Techno because Techno cared about him. It’s not Techno or Tommy’s fault but their relationship was messed up thanks to Tommy’s trauma. Tommy was so dependent on Techno and was not able to function properly alone and he was very driven by his emotions, which were in a mess. He could barely sort out his feelings on Dream, let alone L’Manburg or Tubbo. He even let himself believe that all they were doing was minor terrorism, when Techno hadn’t hid his intentions that much at all.

-Tommy blames himself for all that occurred. When the anger faded, and he was a little less powerless, Tommy began to get back his own sense of agency, which he’d been lacking for so long. With more clarity, he realised that of course he wanted to forgive Tubbo and make amends. His experiences lead to Tommy feeling like it was up to him to apologise - and he did.

In some respects, there’s some excellent development here - it’s amazing to see him put feelings to one side and realise that his anger and bitterness were hurting him. And he held himself responsible - that his actions, traumatised or not, didn’t justify hurting others. He had been becoming the person he didn’t want to be - and rejected it.

But there’s some worrying signs too - his experiences left him in some ways too apologetic. His sense of self-worth is still low. He didn’t blow up the community house but at one point said he wouldn’t bother defending himself anymore as there was no point, nothing to be gained from arguing about it. He apologised to Sapnap for releasing Mars - wonderful but it was never really necessary. When interacting with the egg, he said he didn’t want to cause yet another war, having internalised the idea that he’s responsible for most conflicts. At one point he even said he blames himself for Doomsday. It’s not healthy to have such a low sense of self-worth. He no longer blames others for not caring about him - but he does blame himself.

....

Well this has been a long post. I hope that better expresses how Tommy’s been affected from his exile. I feel like I’ve seen posts complaining about apologists using trauma to excuse his actions. Not at all! Merely to explain. You cannot discuss Tommy’s current character without discussing his trauma. Likewise, it has been treated seriously by the narrative and Tommy continues to have it affect his character. It’s ongoing. He is improving but it has had a long-lasting impact. Indeed his mental state still feels fragile enough that us fans have been very sensitive to anything that might impact him. Tommy should be handled with care, and few of the characters on the server realise this.

#tommyinnit #meta #analysis #exile arc #aaah angsty #dream smp #long post #honestly though i'm pretty pleased with this analysis #even if the angst got to me even as i wrote it out #i could go on for longer about tommy at techno's #his betrayal was all a result of tommy not being in a healthy state of mind and him switching sides was him finally gaining back control #it was a moment of triumph #of him rejecting his awful mindset #even if you think lmanburg's destruction was justified #tommy's reasoning for doing it wouldn't have been #he'd have been doing it because he was angry and bitter and hurt #and he'd have been unhappy never reconciling with his friends #and also of course he had to fight dream #i think tommys recovered a lot anyway #i fear his imprisonment will lead to more self-doubt and blaming himself #maybe blaming himself for dream becoming bad #and blame himself for all the conflicts #basically believing hes the one who ruined the server #and also maybe that no one cares about him #the fact that no one noticed he was gone is depressing

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