#** Crack **

[wip-okae]

@pancakenutprince help this is something you would do 😭😭

[incorrectbatfam]

Ideas for new bat logos (part 2)

#1: The Jail

#2: The Colorblind Test

#3: The QR Code

#4: The Family Photo

#5: The Privacy Curtain

#6: The Lunch Combo

#7: The Huge Nerd

#8: The Loss

$9: The Budget Cut

#10:

[monsters-demons-and-ai-oh-my]

Jinx: “So the necromancer of progress and bolts no nuts over here almost ended the world over a lovers spat?

Viktor: “Powder that is greatly diminishing the…”

Jayce: “Oh I’m sorry if I won’t hear criticism from the girl who blew up my partner in the first place!”

[severussnapemylove]

(Sev and Reader walking into the Orders headquarters during the first wizarding war, looking tired and dishevelled)

Y/N; “It’s okay everyone. Voldermort’s gone."

Dumbledore; (shocked) “What do you mean “gone”????”

Severus; “Well, we realised that he’d been so focused on the wizarding world that he’d severely underestimated the risk of muggle style attacks.”

Y/N; “So Sev shot him in the head with a muggle revolver.”

McGonagall; “You did what??? And that worked???”

Severus; “Yes, it seems that even the Dark Lord needs an intact brain to live.”

Y/N; “And to make sure he stays dead, until all his Horcruxes can be tracked down and destroyed..."

Slughorn; (turning pale) "Horcruxes????"

Y/N; "...We cut the body into little pieces, set the pieces in concrete and dropped the concrete blocks in various bodies of deep water around the world.”

(Speechless, kind of terrified looks from the rest of the room)

Y/N; “So anyway, war’s over, you’re all welcome. Sev and I are going on a very long holiday now. Seeya."

[florix-64]

I swear, only on circumstances like this are where I accept crackships where a person is being shipped with themselves but in a different persona

Hear me out: Robin Dick would be the biggest Bruceman supporter and shipper.

This boy hates any of Bruce’s love interest with a passion because then his dad guardian spends less time with him and that’s obviously UNACCEPTABLE, SCANDALOUS even, so when rumours start circulating that Bruce Wayne is in a relationship with the Batman, he jumps right on the wagon.

Reporter, thirsty for a story: Mr Grayson what do you think about the rumours that Bruce Wayne is dating the Batman?

Dick: What do I think about my dads you mean? My very married very taken dads? My very faithful to each other plural dads?

He would fuel the rumours both as Robin and as Dick Grayson, punching criminals for talking bad about Wayne enterprises as Robin (“THAT’S MY STEPDADS COMPANY YOURE TALKING ABOUT!”). He would be on online forums all day talking about how Bruceman is the only Batman ship that makes sense and Doxxing people who disagree.

Bruce is so exasperated because this is happening at a time where only Alfred and Dick know his real identity so he can’t even do anything with ANYONE without making either Bruce Wayne or Batman look unfaithful.

Throw Reporter Clark Kent into the mix who has been sent to scope out the Bruceman story, who Bruce makes the mistake of flirting with at a gala. Both Clark AND dick are scandalised.

Dick, making a scene: HOW COULD YOU! BATMAN IS WAITING FOR YOU AT HOME AND YOURE HERE FLIRTING WITH SOME… SOME REPORTER??

Bruce, sighing: Dick-

Dick, tugging on Bruce’s suit and looking up at him with fake tears in his eyes: Dad, are you and dad getting a divorce? :(

Clark, panicking: NO NO THEYRE NOT GETTING A DIVORCE PLEASE DONT CRY

Meanwhile:

Bruce, crying in the corner: he called me dad

He would even go as far as insisting that Robin is his step sibling

Principal: how do you explain that whenever Robin is injured, Dick fails to show up at school the next day?

Dick: Robin and I are twins :) so when he’s injured I’m injured too and we have to stay home together!!

Bruce, whispering: I’m sorry, they’re not really twins but neither I or Bats have the heart to tell hem

[toxicbrothel]

brothel sleepover 💕

Well, this week sucks. A few of you have mentioned this is a nice place to escape and have a laugh, so it's time for a sleepover! For this event, we have 3 games to play in the @toxicbrothel inbox.

🍆 A brothel resident of your choice will write a ficlet. If you want them to write about their housemate, or if you have a little prompt in mind, go for it. They'll do their best. Ex: Quickie by stepdad. or A Lincoln fic by Vamp

🎬 To prompt a scene, you can ask for brothel lore or propose a scenario. example: drama with slasher moving in

👩‍💻 The madame will take photo(s), gif, or video prompts. Please name 3 character options in the ask, and she'll choose one for a ficlet.

Brothel participants: any character variant (or reader) on @toxicanonymity.

Requests open til Jan 23 @ 12pm EST, answers start Friday. It's okay if you haven't been around lately or haven't interacted yet! If you send multiple asks, the madame may pick one, depending on ask volume. New? Check out toxicbrothel navigation. If you have questions, please feel free to ask.

💜 tox¡

[hermanoga]

I know what they wanted to mean but that unfertilised eggs remind me of PCOD 😭 lu guang, my babygirl, let's schedule an appointment to a gynaecologist pls, timeline messes with our hormones and pheromones

[squiddysides]

Gi-hun: We must storm the control room and take The Front Man

In-ho: And then what will we do to him?

Gi-hun: That was a complete sentence

In-ho:

In-ho: Guards, excuse me for a second; I need to change my uniform

[kaia-artz]

Fave

Danny and Sam were enjoying a date out in Metropolis when it happened. Superman had been mind controlled again, and was taking hostages. Neither Danny or Sam were worried, and were amongst the only people not running for their lives. They just sat outside the cafe, sipping their coffee and eating their food. As the ground began to rumble, they simply picked their coffee cups and held them in their hands to not spill the coffee within.

“So then Tucker says, ‘not my pda!’” Danny finishes, laughing along with Sam.

“I swear, he loves that thing more than life!” Sam laughs.

That’s when they heard it. The sunlight outside got a shade darker, and Sam and Danny turned to see the outline of Superman hovering in front of them. They both glanced at him, then at each other.

With a loud sigh, Danny out down his coffee. “Can you move a little to the left, Superman? You’re blocking the sunlight.”

Without warning, Superman reached out and grabbed Sam, who was closer to him. Sam grunted out in surprise as she was lifted into the air by her neck. Danny looked unconcerned.

“Seriously?” Sam asked, gesturing at Superman. “You’re going to ruin my necklace.”

“I don’t think he’s worried about your necklace, babe.” Danny leaned against the table, watching the encounter.

“Well, he should be!” Sam exclaimed. “I paid good money for it!”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re impossible. We can just buy you another one once he stops choking you.”

“It’s not really like he’s going to get anywhere.” Sam agreed.

Superman seemed to take offense to this. His grip on her neck tightened, and while Sam’s face did flush red, she wasn’t gasping for breath or having her neck snapped.

“You remember the other day when I said Black Canary could strangle me and I’d be happy about it?” Sam asked, her voice a little breathless.

“Yeah?” He raised an eyebrow, wondering where she as going with this.

“I like Superman choking me better. He would probably be better at it than a human.” Sam grinned at the Kryptonian.

“Shouldn’t he at least buy you dinner first?” He asked.

“You know, most boyfriends don’t talk so freely about their girlfriends being choked by other guys.” Sam pointed out.

“You’re right.” He agreed.

“But this is getting kinda weird. Superman, do you mind letting me go? This isn’t really working for me anymore.” Sam pointed to the ground.

A large crowd had started to gather around them. Some looked horrified, while others looked curious. Curious at Sam, who hadn’t died yet. Superman made no moves to remove his hand from her neck.

“Hey babe?” Sam asked.

“Yeah?” He took another sip of his coffee, completely calm.

“Can you record me beating up Superman so we can send it to your sister?”

“Why her?” He tilted his head.

“Little sister.” Sam clarified.

“Ohh. Yeah, sure, she’d love that.” He took a second and pulled his phone out—a latest WayneTech model. “Go for it.”

Sam wrapped her hand around Superman’s, and with an audible snap, broke his hand and pulled it off of her neck. Superman gasped in pain, but Sam wasn’t done yet. She proceeded to judo flip him and send him crashing to the Earth while she continued to hover in the air. She clapped her hands together and cracked her knuckles.

“This is going to be fun.” Sam grinned wickedly.

“You know, I could just touch his temple and cure him of the mind control.” He offered, but continued to record Sam.

“Don’t spoil my fun.” Sam flipped him off, then dove towards the ground. She kicked Superman in the nuts, then kneed him in the face hard enough to draw blood. She punched him a few more times until he fell unconscious.

Danny got up and stopped the recording. He walked over to his girlfriend and looked at the unconscious Superman. He bent over the man and pressed a finger to the man’s temple. Blue power briefly illuminated Superman’s skin, but it was gone as quickly as it came.

“You’re going to cause trouble for us.” He chastised her.

“But you love it.” Sam took his hand. “Let’s go home.”

She flew into the air first, but Danny took another second to dig into his wallet, leaving a $20 bill on the table they were sitting at. He then flew into the air after Sam, chasing her all the way to Amity Park.

—————

Six months later, and Danny and Sam were on another outing in Gotham when they were interrupted by Batman. They pulled a chair up for him, and eventually the man took it. They ordered him a coffee and a bagel.

“So, what brings you here?” Danny asked casually.

“How did you defeat Superman?” Batman asked, straight to the point.

“Huh?” Sam asked. “When did we do that?”

“Six months ago.” Batman responded.

“Ohh, wait— remember the day we went to Metropolis?” He hummed.

“Oh. I already forgot about that. Superman’s not pressing charges, is he?” Sam asked. “I do have a good lawyer, he’s just an asshole to deal with.”

“No, he is not pressing charges.” Batman grunted.

“Then what’s this about?” He asked, tilting his head.

Without answering, Batman opened a box on his lap. At once, the kryptonite took effect of both Sam and Danny, making their skin turn green and to writhe in pain. Just as Danny was about to take the box from Batman by force, the man had closed the lid and tucked it away.

“I had my suspicions.” Batman said, as if that explained everything. “So how did two more Kryptonians land on Earth when the planet was destroyed thirty years ago?”

[patrokronk]

The Trojan wars began for Helen yes but they ended because of Patroclus and I think that’s beyond beautiful

[lurafita]

Random, but how much fun do you think Magnus has with the phone camera filters? hearts around his Alexander as he snaps the picture? Yes. googly eyes on Ragnor? Yes. cat ears and blushy cheeks on Raphael? Yes. swapping the face of Jace with the giant stuffed panda he happens to be standing next to? Yes.

[themosthatedbeingg]

Quick Dash Assign your Muse a Muppet !! Go!

[luumiinaa]

how scandalous was the “library escapade” for it to be sworn to secrecy, that is the question 🫢

under your skin

wc: 4.2k

pairing: haechan x fem!reader

cw: enemies with benefits to lovers, angst, unprotected sex, oral (receiving), choking, spitting, fingering, a little bit of jealously and possessiveness, alcohol consumption, multiple orgasms, pet names, praising, sex while under the influence (all consensual of course), overuse of the word fuck, mentions of other idols, lowkey softdom!hyuck, a little too much plot than i originally planned

ik it’s a week into november but better late than never 👩🏽‍🦯

“Drink up, loser,” Renjun handed you the bottle after you lost this round of never have I ever.

You didn’t give the vodka the chance to burn going down your throat by using the gatorade Yangyang had in his cup as a chaser.

“God, that’s awful.” you cough, “And Minjeong, I’m never telling you anything ever again.”

“That’s how you play the game,” she shrugged.

“I can’t believe you fucked someone in the library.” Jaemin shook his head, disappointed.

“You can’t even talk. You fucked in a classroom.” you shot back.

“That’s different. It was empty, and the door was locked.” Jaemin defended.

“Yeah and? It was in one of the study rooms. You think we just did it out in the open up against a bookcase?” you say

“Who was it?” Sungchan asks.

“That, I’m never telling.”

Keep reading

[randomfoggytiger]

Hmmm....

I wonder what inspired Amanda Pays to get the Phoebe Green haircut (was it before she was cast? after? was it a 90s thing? pretty sure it was a 90s thing) and to do her makeup (purposefully, I presume) so... odd?

I'm just saying... if she'd walked into the basement like this--

--I can see why CC thought she and Mulder might make a baddie couple.

Note to self: never underestimate the ability to chameleon.

[balrogballs]

i'm a writer irl (can't say who because my agent would rightfully put me into a blender and press the button if i go and out myself as "balrogballs") and honestly the funniest and most humiliating incident of my life was the time my finished manuscript triggered a plagiarism flag with the publisher for two lines of prose in my literary fiction novel...

.... which was word for word similar to a paragraph in a certain explicit work on FFN starring elrond and his batsman from the hobbit films, aka that one elf that looked like he ate panic attacks for breakfast (i forget his name but it's Figwit II) where the lord of imladris bends said twink over his writing desk and gives him the battering ram treatment.

and if you think i had to sit in front of one if the biggest publishing companies in the world and admit that it was, in fact, me who wrote the fic where the lord of imladris bends said twink over his writing desk and gives him the battering ram treatment in order to avoid being wrongly flagged for plagiarism, you would be absolutely correct.

(yes they published the book)