#(still not sure if it's like the right word for it in english)
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gothicfied · 1 day ago
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(Squid game s2) Can you write a comfort fic about an insecure reader has past trauma and has endured Highschool bullying. When she joins the games and is in the group (Gi-hun, Dae-ho, Jun-hee & others) but once they meet Jun-hee she gets pushed aside and has to join another group in the second game. Feel free to change or add anything, the pairing could be Daeho x reader but it’s up to you <33
Never alone again - Kang Dae-ho / Player 388
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Pairing: Kang Dae-ho / Player 388 x Reader
Summary: After seeing you almost die, Dae-ho swore he wouldn't leave your side ever again.
Warnings: Mentions of death/dying, gunshots (typical squid game stuff), other than that it's just fluff, not proof read (english isn't my first language)
Word Count: ~ 1.2k
A/N: hii! tysm for the request and I hope I did it justice.
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You believed Gi-hun from the start. You believed he was right, no sane person would just say stuff like that, right? That they kill each player who gets eliminated? He seemed too damn serious for it to be a lie. And lo and behold, he was right. People. Shot dead. Right in front of you. Red-Light-Green-Light was a traumatic experience. You wanted to quit, you wanted to go home, go home and hug your parents and just be grateful to still be alive.
It was like the universe had turned against you. How wasn't everyone scared out of their minds like you? Was money really all that mattered to them? A heated discussion broke out during the first voting, angry voices yelling at each other, accusing Gi-hun of lying. You took all the courage you had left in you to try and stand up for him, at least make it known that you sided with him. Past experiences, especially your school time, usually made it hard for you to speak up, but that shouldn't really be an issue right now — You could end up dead, that's what worried you. After the voting, that didn't go your way at all, Gi-hun showed gratitude for your courage to say something and suggested you'd stick with him from now on.
Added to your group were In-ho, the last player who actually voted 'O', Jung-bae and Dae-ho, who were both former marines. While eating the lunch provided to you by the guards, those two immediately bonded over their former occupation, which you found endearing. Even though you were currently still to shy to join in on their conversations, you were content with just having a group you could stick to — Because you were sure you absolutely wouldn't survive in here alone.
"And, what's your name?" Dae-ho asked, as hd took a seat on the stairs next to you, happily eating his food. When you told him he gasped, almost chocking in the process. "That's my sisters name!" he laughed, nudging your shoulder with his. You just replied with a little "Oh? No way." and then he began rambling about his life, about his four sisters, about how his father sent him to be a marine and so on. He closed his monologue saying "Anyway, that's a really pretty name." and then proceeded to ask you for your leftover food. He made you laugh, which was nice considering you all were stuck in this hellhole.
In Dae-ho's opinion, you two had a lot in common, even if you didn't at all. He suggested you slept in the bed right under his which was.. well, free now after the first game. At night, you couldn't help but overthink your interactions with not only him, but the other three guys, too. They were so nice and welcoming. All of them had a special attribute that will probably be useful in the coming few days.. and you? You had the feeling that you brought nothing to the table.
The next day, a vast majority of the players went into the second game with the impression that this will be Dalgona, like Gi-hun predicted. Apparently not. The female voice over the speakers ordered the players to form groups of five. "Ah, how perfect," In-ho smiled, "guess we'll be a group then." You looked between the men, nodding in agreement and just when you were about to say something-
"Excuse me, are you maybe searching for one more person-?"
"Oh, no I'm sorry, we're actually already five peo-"
"I'm pregnant."
The girl cut Jung-bae off, resting her hands on her pregnant belly. You raised your eyebrows in shock and no one really seemed to know what to do next. Oh, you felt bad for her. She must've been very desperate if she entered the games while being pregnant. You five were just looking at each other confused, until you took a deep breath: "It's okay, I'll find another group. She needs to be with people she can absolutely win with." You looked at the girl and she looked back, slowly giving you a grateful smile. "No it's okay I'll go-" Dae-ho tried to say, but you waved him off, shaking your head.
"Well.. No, you can't just.."
"Dae-ho," In-ho said in a low tone, putting a hand on his shoulder, "she's pregnant." he said, like Dae-ho needed a reminder of what was right in front of him. You weren't that important to the team anyways, and that girl needed your help. So, it was decided, and in the end you did find a team of three players who voted 'X', like you, and one who didn't. You felt fairly safe with these people and even if you didn't, you didn't have much of a choice.
The game was a six-legged pentathlon with five mini games you had to split between each team member to complete. Watching the first few teams go was an absolute adrenaline rush, given the small amount of time of five minutes, the first few players were shot on sight pretty early on. This made you nervous to the point where you could throw up. Your original group was sitting a few meters away from youd current one and you did lock eyes with Dae-ho quite a bit, him giving you reassuring glances or a thumbs up. You mustered up a smile, trying yo calm your thoughts down.
I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this-
Oh but you could. Your team, which came before Gi-hun's, barely made it over the finish line with three seconds to spare, making the crowd of waiting players roar and cheer and yell "Good job!". The most time you lost was at Gonggi, thankfully not your mini game. Being able to beat yours on the first try filled you with the confidence you needed, which was probably the only thing that kept you up on your feet. Speaking of which, the shackles, that bound your left leg together with the player next to you, were taken off of them and you were free to go. Well, back into the dorm area.
Anxiously, you sat on your bed and waited, for your team. Players streamed in, one after the other, just not the ones you were so desperate to see. You were biting your fingernails, your thoughts being flooded with the fear of them all just dying, being left alone to survive this shit.
Suddenly, you heard a voice call out for you. It was Dae-ho (who else?) who basically sprinted to you. Before you could even stand up to reciprocate his hug, he pulled you up into his arms, squeezing the air out if his lungs. "Do you know how scared I was?" he sounded really out of breath. You didn't reply, just hugged him back the best you could and watched Jung-bae laugh to himself, watching the two of you. "I'm so glad you're alive! I'll never let you do that again, okay? Next time, I'll be the one to find another group.. not you okay?" His word vomit just wouldn't stop.
"Let's hope there won't be a next time."
"Obviously there won't be, I won't ever let you leave again."
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mattsnight · 2 days ago
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doing so good f’me - sub!chris
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Warnings: (car) sex, cursing..
not proofread & english is not my first language<3
chris’ friends had been acting like dicks all night and he was tired. “dude.. just stop.” he muttered under his breath as his friends teased him for being absolutely whipped for you. they didn’t stop laughing and making fun of him, which made him snap. he took your hand and led you outside, into the car to get some peace.
he takes a deep breath the moment he sits down, trying to calm himself. he knew his reaction was somewhat dramatic, but he didn’t like the comments his friends made. it’s quiet for a moment, the two of you just sit there in the silence of the car.
your eyes slowly move up to meet his. “you know.. your friends are single right?” you say quietly. chris glances at you, a frown forming on his face. “oh, for sure.” he muttered through his still clenched jaw, taking another deep breath to try and relax a little.
“they can’t just go into the backseat and relieve some stress.” a small giggle leaves your lips as you find yourself getting worked up by your own words. chris practically groans, letting his head fall back against his seat. he really didn’t want to hear that, especially considering it’s his friends. he loved his friends but damn was he tired of their dumbass comments. “but you can,”
he looked back at you, a slight smirk forming on his lips. “you offering to distract me, baby?”
“maybe,” you say, your teeth sinking into your lip. the thought definitely helps him to feel a little better. he knew that he needed something to take his mind off of his friends being dickheads. “oh, yeah?” he says, raising a brow at you.
you simply nod. his eyes scan your face, his mouth curling into a smirk. “come on, baby. get back here then.” he smiles, his hands already reaching to grab you. you climb into the backseat quickly, waiting for him to come with. he follows after you, sitting up in the back. his eyes stayed fixed on you, watching every tiny movement you made.
chris leans against the door of the car, watching you taking off his shirt. the shirt is quickly off his body, leaving chris’ upper half naked. his hands move to your waist, holding you in place as he stares up at you. he helps you out of your own clothes. “god, you’re so beautiful, baby..” he mumbled, his hands gently rubbing your sides.
your hands move to his belt, taking it off. god, he loved it when you took full control. “fuck...” his hands moved to rest on your hips, squeezing them as he bit his lip. then suddenly, you let yourself sink down on his cock, the stretch feeling almost unreal.
chris lets out a long groan, his eyes closing in pleasure as you sit. he was so thankful that you were here with him, distracting him from his stupid friends. he keeps his hands on your hips, his fingers gripping you as he keeps up his noises of pleasure. he stares up at you through hooded eyes.
“your friends are in there.. fully drunk.. without pleasure while you’re here.”
“don't say that..” he practically moans out, his eyes rolling back. he couldn't be thinking of them right now. all he wants is to focus on you, not them. he hate that you had to bring that up right now. he was trying not to think about them. "just focus on me, baby.. don't focus on them.. mhh"
chris bites down on his lip as his eyes shoot open, staring up at you as he watched you move. his noises of pleasure grew louder, one of his hands holding onto your hip as the other gently moved towards your thigh. he stared up at you, his eyes full of need and pleasure. “you close, baby?” you ask him.
he nods his head quickly, his eyes closing once again. “yeah.. i'm close.. so close..” chris groaned out, his eyes closing tighter as his moans increased in volume.
“ah.. god, i'm gonna..” he was completely focused on you, his thoughts and attention all on you. “look at me, chris, or i’ll stop.” you say, slowing down. his eyes opened immediately. his breathing had gotten heavier, his moans rising in volume. he has an intense gaze on you, his eyes flicking to your lips as his lips parted.
you speed up again, not removing your gaze from his face. “doing so good f’me.. shitt..”
his eyes scans over you completely, his grip on you growing tighter as his moans grow louder. his eyebrows are knitted together and his lip is practically being chewed to shreds now as his moans reach a peak. “i'm-.. i'm close-“ he stares up at you with pure want and need, almost pleading you to let him go. chris was so close.
you speed up your movements. that is enough to send him over the edge. his hands stay tightly on your hips as his fingers dig into your skin. a long, loud moan escapes him, he’s sent over the edge. “f-fuck, baby.." he says, pulling out of you to cum all over your stomach. a small gasp leaves your mouth. “oh jesus… you did so good, baby.”
“mh.. need.. need more, mama..” he whines.
oh and he definitely got more.
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sorry if this is ass:,)
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mybelovedfleur · 1 day ago
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,,𝐵𝑒𝓁𝓁𝒶𝒹𝑜𝓃𝓃𝒶" 𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝐼𝐼
(Yandere!Silco x Amnesiac!Fem!Reader)
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!TW! FantasyAU! Heavy Yandere Themes, Silco is ooc for sure, vomiting, sick!reader, violence, mention of death, violence, dark yandere, I will tag every chapter seperately! :)
Description: ,, A series of unfortunate events causes you to completely lose your memory. Now, you find yourself thrust into the role of the Duchess of Zaun, married to a man you don’t recognize. But was this ever truly your life? And why does the scent of blood cling to you, no matter where you go? "
Note: english is NOT my first language, I am very much open for critique and suggestions but pls be nice and respectful :c I DO NOT support any of these behaviors!
─ ⊹ ⊱ -'♡'- ⊰ ⊹ ─
Silco leaned over you, concern in his eyes, as if the slightest sign of your pain hurt him just as much. He carefully adjusted the pillow so that you could comfortably rest your injured head on it.
"Do you feel worse? Should I get a doctor?" he whispered with tension in his voice, the trembling note betraying how much he cared about your health.
You haven't shown the slightest interest in leaving your bed all morning - a completely different behavior from your determination yesterday.
No wonder Silco noticed it right away. Seeing that you didn't even try to get up to eat breakfast, he became clearly worried. From that moment on, he constantly circled you like a tireless bee, trying to help you in every way possible. Instead of comforting you, his excessive concern began to irritate you - it was the first time he seemed so burdensome. You were overwhelmed by the dark memories of the nightmare that still weighed on your mind, and Silco didn't give you a moment's respite to simply delve into your own thoughts.
,,I feel like I always do, I just don't have the strength. It's nothing serious" you said, finally trying to calm him down. But Silco didn't look convinced. His gaze wandered over your body, as if stubbornly searching for something that could betray you
,,I have an important meeting today... " he whispered under his breath, clearly to himself, but you heard it clearly. You didn't have time to say anything, because his gaze fell roght back on your face.
,, It doesn't matter" he said in a confident tone, his voice firm" I'll stay with you"
If you had more strength, and the wound on the back of your head wasn't throbbing with irritating pain, you would have surely jumped up.
"No, please..." you said pleadingly, staring at him. "I don't want to be a burden again. You hardly leave my side anyway"
Silco froze for a moment, as if your words had hurt him more than he would like to admit. When he finally spoke, his tone was unexpectedly serious.
"Don't ever say that again" he said firmly.
You sighed, feeling the weight of guilt gripping your heart."I just don't want to stop you," you began quietly, struggling to gather your thoughts. 
"I want to prove to both of us that I can handle myself, even in times like these. If you go to this meeting... I'll be truly happy"
Silco stood up and began to pace nervously around the room, you could almost hear the grinding of his teeth. His hand involuntarily went to the scarred side of his face, which he rubbed as if trying to quell the growing frustration. You waited tensely, holding your breath, wondering if your words had angered him.
"The servants are well trained" he finally said, his voice full of reluctance, as if each word was difficult for him. "They know what to do. Don't hesitate to send for me if something happens, or if you simply need me."
His gaze finally met yours.
"I'll drop everything and come to you" he added with such intensity that you had no doubts about the sincerity of his words.
─ ⊹ ⊱ -'♡'- ⊰ ⊹ ─ 
It wasn't like you hadn't noticed the estate workers before – they were there, but rather like shadows moving in the background, silently carrying out your husband's orders. They were the ones who helped you with more intimate activities, such as changing or washing. Although it made things easier for you, you quickly noticed that Silco approached this matter with clear reluctance.
When you first asked for a new nightgown and the opportunity to wash up, he fulfilled your wish almost immediately. However, his reaction to this request exceeded your expectations - before you knew it, he was already filling the bathtub with water, sitting you on the stool next to it. When with unwavering determination he wanted to help you take off your clothes, you felt your face immediately turn red like a beetroot.
Embarrassed, you calmly asked him to let you do it yourself. His expression was hard to read - as if he was fighting with his thoughts. From that moment on, he waited for you outside the bathroom door, visibly anxious and even outraged whenever one of the servants helped you with something that he felt should have been his role.
 Now, you had a real chance to make contact with them, maybe even have a short conversation. Up until now, everything you knew about your life had come from Silco's mouth. His stories, while very romantic, were undoubtedly tinged with his feelings, perhaps even idealized – which was no surprise, considering the way he was devoted to his role as your loving husband.
The prospect of hearing something about yourself from an outsider, someone who wasn't emotionally attached to you, seemed almost exciting. It could be a chance to look at your life from a different perspective – and perhaps discover something new about yourself.
You were being looked after by three women: two middle-aged and one clearly younger. They were all dressed in impeccably ironed black uniforms that emphasized their professionalism. They moved around you with mechanical precision – their movements were so perfect and synchronized that they almost resembled some sort of machines. Silco wasn't exaggerating when he said that they were highly trained.
 Your ambitious plans to start a conversation didn't go so well at first. You were too nervous, and their distant attitude only increased your embarrassment.
It was only when the younger girl was left alone in the room to change the sheets on the bed that you felt it was the right moment to speak up. So you broke through, saying the first words
"What's your name?" you asked, trying to make your voice sound natural, although you yourself felt slightly embarrassed. The girl, noticeably surprised, stopped for a moment, as if wondering what she should do, whether to answer you at all.
 A moment of silence passed, which seemed to last forever, before finally, with a nervousness in her voice, she answered
"Erin, my lady"  she somehow radiated a warmth that immediately worked in your favor, and you felt your self-confidence begin to grow.
"Erin" you repeated. 
You noticed how the girl visibly relaxed, and a delicate, almost shy smile appeared on her face.
"Tell me, how long have you been working here?" she put down the pillow she was working on and finally turned her full attention to you.
"Only a month, Ma'am" she replied. As soon as you heard her words, you sighed with resignation.
"The entire staff has been here for a month" she added quickly. At these words, you looked up, and your eyes narrowed in a sign of dissatisfaction and suspicion.
"How so?"
The girl, now clearly regretting speaking, began nervously adjusting her uniform.
"The Duke replaced the entire staff after your accident," she explained quickly, as if these words were supposed to calm the situation, although they had the opposite effect.
You wanted to ask for details, for reasons, for what exactly had happened, but before you could say anything, the door flew open. One of the older women entered the room with a silver tray full of medicines.
The older woman gave the girl a reprimanding look that was telling enough for the young maid to immediately return to her work, lowering her gaze like a guilty child.
When the servants finished their duties, both women bowed low and asked if you needed anything else. You forced yourself to briefly deny it, even though your thoughts were screaming to stop them and force out more information. A moment later, the door closed behind them, leaving you alone in the room, again.
─ ⊹ ⊱ -'♡'- ⊰ ⊹ ─ 
By the end of the day, your strength had returned, at least enough to get out of bed and sit on the edge. You still felt a slight weakness in your legs, but the knowledge that at least you had managed to overcome your constant fatigue was comforting. On the nightstand stood a silver tray of medicines – the same tablets whose bitter taste made you nauseous, and whose effects locked you in a numbing fog. You looked at them with reluctance, the dark purple – almost black liquid standing in the cup almost made you nauseous by its very sight. A decision was made in your head – not now. You would use this moment, when your body finally did not betray you, and Silco did not hover nearby like a guard watching over a prisoner.
Without the constant feeling of sleepiness, you finally felt like your thoughts were your own—clear, clear, unencumbered by the fog of medication. For the first time in a long time, you felt like you could look at your situation clearly. For days, weeks, maybe even longer, you felt like Silco had not only taken control of your life, but also of what you thought and felt. His words, his presence, even his care—all seemed to shape your reality.
But now, as that grip eased, the truth began to weigh on you, something here was wrong. The situation you found yourself in was far from normal, no matter how beautifully Silco tried to present it. There were too many of his versions of events in this story, his sweet promises, his comfortable half-truths. And the answers you were desperately searching for? There were none. There were only gaps, silence, and then his narrative again. You could see it clearly now—and it was that clarity of mind that made the weight of it all seem unbearable.
You knew that if you wanted to regain even a shred of sanity, you had to get out of this room—this claustrophobic prison where everything seemed to reek of control. You wanted to feel the fresh air, to touch the earth in the garden that had only existed for you as a view through closed, unyielding windows.
But you couldn't. Your body was betraying you, just as it had been betraying you all these days. You knew that if you tried, your legs would give out and you would eventually collapse to the floor—helpless, weak, unable to even get up. The arms that should have held you up would fail. Your imagination showed you the image of Silco entering the room, of you lying there—motionless, completely defenseless, yet more proof that you should have listened to his commands.
The thought squeezed you from the inside, and the frustration you had tried to suppress surged like a wave. You felt the stinging tears welling up in your eyes, the helplessness choking you in your throat. You yearned for freedom so much, but you were a prisoner of your own body.
As if all that wasn't enough, you still felt the weight of your nightmare from today, never leaving you. It lingered in the back of your mind like a persistent shadow, blurry but still clear enough to send shivers down your spine. There was something disturbingly familiar about the nightmare, something that wouldn't leave you alone.
Raised voices could be heard from behind the door leading to Silco's office. They were muffled, but their tone indicated that this was no ordinary conversation - it was an argument. You easily recognized one of the voices as Silco's. The other voice, however, was unfamiliar to you, although unlike your husband, he didn't care about the volume of his tone, probably not knowing that someone on the other side could hear them, the words were still too distorted for you to understand anything.
Your eyes automatically went to the tray of medicines, and then to the door leading to the office. Common sense told you to stay in bed, but something else - curiosity, anxiety, maybe even instinct - told you to act. Pushing aside all logical thoughts, you slowly shifted on the bed, trying to get closer to the source of the sound. However, despite your efforts, the voices were still indistinct, and frustration grew inside you.In a burst of courage—or perhaps mad stupidity—you decided to do something more. 
You grabbed the bed frame, bracing your shaking hands on it, and struggled to your feet. The wall was your only support as you took your first step toward the door.
When you reached your destination, your heart started beating faster, but this time not from the effort, but from relief. You made it – for the first time, you had crossed the entire room without anyone's help. But that feeling of pride only lasted a moment, because suddenly you heard the slam of the office door and quick footsteps, clearly heading your way. Your heart froze in your chest. You didn't have time to back up or think about what to do. 
The door opened abruptly, almost hitting you in the face. You were leaning against the door frame and the handle to keep your balance, but the sudden movement took away all of your support. The world around you blurred, and you felt yourself starting to fall. Before you could touch the floor, you felt strong hands grab you at the last moment. 
The grip was firm, almost too strong, you looked up and looked straight into Silco's eyes, which shone with something between surprise and irritation. His face was drawn, as if he was fighting to keep from exploding with anger, but you could clearly see the shadow of concern that was breaking through his mask of composure.
"What are you doing?" he hissed quietly, his voice laced with a mixture of anger and concern.
Silco wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer, so that your faces were almost at the same level. You felt his hands grip your waist tightly, holding you in place as if to make sure you didn't disappear from his field of vision. His gaze was intense, piercing, but you avoided it, lowering your gaze and whispering barely audibly:
"I heard noises outside the door... I got scared" your voice was shaking. Silco narrowed his eyes, then looked away, glancing over your shoulder as if searching for something behind you. But that only lasted a moment. His gaze quickly returned to you - now full of irritation, and his expression changed as if someone had turned off the mask of composure he always wore.
"Why didn't you take your medicine?" he asked, anger growing in his voice.
 "Why are you trying so hard to disobey me?!" before you could say anything, his hands moved to your shoulders, gripping them tightly, his voice growing increasingly tense. Before you could protest, you felt him shake your body. Not hard, but enough to force you to look him in the eyes. His hands seemed to desperately hold you to him, as if they were trying to force you into obedience. 
"Look at me" he growled, his voice shaking, but it wasn't just anger anymore. There was something else in his eyes, behind the facade of anger - fear.
Your gaze remained fixed on your hands clasped on his torso, however, Silco clearly had no intention of waiting for your reaction. In a burst of frustration and desperation, his hand moved to the back of your head, grabbing a spot that had not yet healed. Before you could react, he forced you to lift your head and look him straight in the eye.
Pain exploded like fire, spreading throughout your body, and a sudden, suffering cry escaped your lips. Silco froze, as if he had only just realized what he had done. His hand immediately let go of your head, and the rest of your body recoiled in terror, it was enough for your tired legs to give out. You fell to the floor, with nothing to hold on to.
For several long seconds, Silco stood motionless, as if what had happened was unreal to him. His gaze, filled with anger a moment ago, now seemed as if something inside him had snapped.
As you lifted your gaze, trying to catch your breath and control the pain, something about the image before you seemed strangely familiar. Silco stood still, his silhouette silhouetted against the warm glow of the dying fire in the fireplace, but your eyes could no longer focus on the details. The tears that had welled up in your eyes began to blur reality, and you felt as if the room had suddenly become dark.
You blinked once, then twice, and the image before you changed. Instead of a room, you saw something that resembled a scene from a nightmare. Silco stood before you in the rain, his clothes soaked through, drops running down the material in a rhythmic, almost hypnotic pace.
The entire figure seemed to be taken from another world, yet terrifyingly real at the same time. The only thing that remained clear in this illusion was his injured eye. It glowed in the darkness like a cursed light.
You didn't know if it was a memory, a hallucination caused by the pain, or something more. But one thing was certain - at that moment the line between reality and nightmare began to blur, and you felt like you were drowning in this darkness, the epicenter of which was him.
You curled up on the floor, burying your face in your shaking hands. Tears flowed steadily, hot and stinging, as if burning paths into your skin. The pain, both physical and mental, seemed to take over every aspect of your existence.
"Drink," you heard suddenly, his voice hard, almost impervious to argument.
Before you could protest, you felt Silco lift you off the floor. His movements were surprisingly gentle, though you could feel his hands shaking.
Before you knew what was happening, a silver goblet touched your lips. The dark liquid, the sharp smell of which filled your nostrils, was thick, viscous, its bitter taste immediately hit your taste buds, almost causing a gag reflex, but Silco didn't stop
"Drink" he repeated, this time more insistently, and his free hand held your face, not letting you turn away
You felt the liquid pour into your mouth, and he forced you to swallow. His hand, although shaking, was unwavering, and his gaze was focused on only one thing, regardless of your protests.
When he finally moved the cup away from your lips, you felt the remnants of the liquid run down your chin, leaving a sticky trail on your skin. A few dark drops landed on your nightgown, staining the delicate material.
Your body began to betray you – weakened and tired, unable to fight any longer. Your head fell limply, and Silco gently supported it and placed it on his lap. His touch, although full of anger a moment ago, now seemed almost tender.
You felt a piece of his shirt wipe your face. It was a rough, yet surprisingly caring attempt to wipe away the tears, the traces of liquid, and the pain that seemed to be etched into your skin. His gestures were mechanical, as if he was trying to recreate something a loving husband should do.
Your eyelids began to close, heavy with fatigue and tears. You closed your eyes, feeling the warmth of his presence surrounding you, although you didn't feel safe at all. It was more than resignation – it was capitulation to fate, to him.
─ ⊹ ⊱ -'♡'- ⊰ ⊹ ─
Taglist: @missbeeentertainment
Notes: I'm sorry if there is a lot of mistakes, I was writing it on my phone which has a polish auto correction, and I do not know how to turn it off :( Thank you so so so much for all your love and support, every time I see a notification I feel so grateful for every one of you! Thank you so much and hopefully see you again! <3
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psychologeek · 1 day ago
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Thank you for your reply!
By your answer, I guess you aren't Jewish.
Oh, it's gonna be long.
Short:
This is very much NOT the definition of Zionism.
Herzel was very secular.
"God's redemption plan" - you're Christian, aren't you. Please stop projecting your cultural obsession.
Judaism, Palestine, Yisrael (word origins)
Longer:
Defining
See, the problem is "I define X as..." Without being part of X. This is problematic.
Can you imagine?
"I define feminism as the belief that women should have rights, and only women."
"I define the gay movement as the belief that people should be able to fuck in public and molest children"
Can you see how problematic it is to define something by what haters say about it?
Zionism
Theodore Herzel was highly affected by the Dreyfus trial, which he witnessed as a journalist. That made him realise that both the idea of emancipation (autonomous government under a larger Goy government) is not the solution. That the only way Jews would actually be save would be to be to have a Jewish self-govern state.
This come along with the Hibat Zion movement, that was mostly eastern Europe (Russia kingdom) and started 1881-82, as a result of the mass Pogroms (Sufot Banegev) and the May Laws.
"Zion" is one of the ancient names of Eretz Yisrael (and partly for Jerusalem).
Jews and Eretz Yisrael
The longing for Eretz Yisrael (the land of Yisrael, as in our ancestor) is as old as the exiles - you can see the Sigd, a holly day still held by the Beta Yisrael community (from Ethiopia) and had been for the last 2,500 years, as they didn't return after the 70-year/first exile.
Or 2,000 years for the rest, if you count from the second (Roman) exile. And Eretz Yisrael has always been part of our culture and hopes and prayers. We pray 3 times a day (each contains a spesific part about going back to Jerusalem). We say Bracha, a blessing, before and after every time we eat.
Our 3 main holidays, were used to be celebrated in Beyt Hamikdash. We still remember how it was. We still pray to do it again.
We mourn every year about what happened. We have a day in which we fast for 25 hours and cry and mourn. Which is at the end of 3 weeks of grief.
Erezt Yisrael, by any other name, has been in the Jewish DNA.
And there have always been Jews in Israel. 4 communities are famous for having over 2,000 years of unstopped Jewish community: Zfad, Tiberias, Jerusalem, and Hebron (the latter's Jewish community had been murdered in the pogrom of 1929. And since then, no Jews lived there - until the new Jewish community, 1979s, which people now call "colonizers". Bc they... uh... Are Jews who bought back houses originally owned by jews. No I'm not bitter at all.
"But there weren't jews in Israel -"
I mean there were??
But also.
The low number was highly affected by things like pogroms (Zfad, for example, had 4 massive ones during 1538-1929. And that's only what I have memorized). The Jewish community of Gaza City has been exiled 3 times 1830s-1929 (when they didn't return). Restrictions on immigration were put in place - ONLY for jews btw, in 1882.
(Also restrictions on Jewish immigration in the USA. I wonder why. Surely had nothing to do with other things that happened in 1881-2 that may cause many jews to consider immigration. )
Oh, we were murdered and exiled so so many times.
~
Kahanizm (isn't Zionism)
Any "only jews should live in Israel" opinion is a minority so small that. Like.
It's part of Kahanizm. Just to explain, the political party mostly failed to reach minimal votes in the elections (in Israel, the coalition is combined of multiple parties) and was at some point forbidden for running by the high court. Kahana has been imprisoned in both Israel and USA for his actions. This is so un-spread, that even most of far-right in Israel would disagree with him. Do you understand now?
Judaism:
Jews are called Jews in english (and some other languages) bc it comes from "Judaism" which come from "Judea" aka Mamlechet Yehudah (Kingdom of Judea), the southern kingdom during the 2 kingdoms era, and the last Hebrew kingdom to fall. That what we were named by the Romans -
But not only. You can see it since the first exile.
In the Book of Esther, with Mordechai ("Mordechai ben Shim'i ben Kish... Ish Yemini" (from the tribe of Binyamin). But also "Mordechai Ha'Yehudi" - which implies it refers to the place he was exiled from (Yehuda).
Palestine:
While we're at it, do you know what's the origin of the name?
The Romans (AKA colonists) has re-named the area after the great Jewish rebellion in the 1st century CE.
They named it after the Plishtim, that were big enemies of the jews, as a tactic of humiliation. Also known as "goyey hayam" (the sea people/invaders) who came from Greece.
(They also renamed our holly city as "Ilya Kapitolina", and salted the land. They also killed almost everyone in it, and enslaved most of the others. They also destroyed our Temple, Beyt Hamikdash.)
Also, "Palestine" has never been a sovereign country? I'm sort of confused why ppl keep it on.
Modern-day Israel is almost exactly in the borders of ancient kingdom of Israel.
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hooneeyydroops · 3 days ago
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Don’t you worry about your curly hair <3
Fred G. Weasley x reader
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My first post ever here on Tumblr! Sorry in advance for any spelling/grammar mistakes, english is only my second language :’)
Paring: Bsf!Fred Weasley x natural curly/wavy haired!Reader
Notes: Just Fluff. Reader is in gryffindor but you can choose the year! Also, reader and Fred are best friends who have huge crushes on each other lol. Oh and reader is insecure about her hair but Fred makes her feel better.
Summary: Hermione helped you style your natural hair. It was the first time you showed off your natural hair in Hogwarts, especially to Fred.
Word count: 1.5k
Enjoy!
“My hair is so poofy again!” you complained, as you were walking to class with your friend Hermione.
It was the month of November so it was only natural that your hair was becoming this poofy; humidity levels were extremely high in winter at Hogwarts.
“I just don’t know what to do, I can’t straighten them everyday, I don’t want to burn it!” you say, pushing your thick, coarse hair behind your ears. The only good thing was that they kept you very warm during the colder weather (but it was hell during the summer).
“Maybe you should try to stop straightening them” Hermione replied. “I know curly hair is a lot of work but it’s so worth it. Plus you can’t always keep on tying them up like you do during summer”.
You knew her hair was curly just like yours, although she was too lazy to always keep them in place, sometimes leaving them air drying or diffusing without any kind of styling done. Yet it still suited her perfectly in one way or another.
“Maybe you’re right” you say, smiling at her “Why don’t you come with me to the dorm this afternoon? I could use some help from you to do my hair” you continued, as you girls had almost reached the classroom. “Sure thing!” she replied, smiling and excited about your proposal as you two entered the classroom for your charms lesson.
You and Hermione were now in your dorm’s bathroom as you were thoroughly and vigorously washing your hair. She was sitting on the toilet as you guys chatted and laughed together.
“Okay so now that I’m done with the clarifying shampoo I have to put this hair mask on my lenghts?” you asked her as you were kneeled down near the bathtub.
“Yes, just put a generous amount on it and leave it on for five minutes” she replied, looking at you as you put a generous amount of that divine-smelling hair mask she lent you on your hair. You then put them up with a claw clip standing up from that uncomfortable position that you had kept through the whole shampoo step.
“Ow, my back!” You said in pain.
Hermione laughed. “I bet the one that will absolutely adore the most your new look is definitely going to be Fred!” She said with a teasing tone as a faint blush crept on your cheeks.
“S-sure…I’m quite nervous to be honest; He’s never seen me with my natural hair, not even once. I only wear them back at home” you replied, worrying about what he’ll say. “Aw c’mon y/n, he’s definitely going to love it. He literally loves everything about you!” she says, trying to uplift your mood a bit.
You rinsed the mask off, as you girls went on with the styling. You brushed your hair then you made sure they were soaking wet as you put on your curl cream, gel and mousse, scrunching your hair with your hands and a towel.
“Looks amazing already” Hermione said in awe, watching your hair “I’ll help you diffuse them”.
Hermione was finally done diffusing your hair. “Now here, give me your hand” she says.
You do as she told and found yourself with some drops of hair oil on your hand.
“Massage it through your hands and slide them through your hair. You can also scrunch a bit”.
You do so.
Then you lifted your head up.
You couldn’t belive your eyes.
Your hair came out so good. Your locks were almost all frizz-free and they framed your face perfectly.
“No way, you look so good with your natural hair! They suit you way more if I have to say!” Hermione said excited as she was looking at you two through the mirror where you were staring at your reflection.
Yet you couldn’t help but think about what Fred’s reaction would be. Sure you looked great, but will he like your new look? What if he thought curly hair were hideous or messy?
Hermione noticed your worried expression. “He’ll love them, I’m sure” she says, a small smile forming on your lips.
“Thanks Hermione”.
“Now come one, put your robe back on, it’s almost dinner time!” she said, helping you out. You watched yourself through the mirror one last time before exiting the dorm, heading towards the great hall were dinner was waiting you two.
You guys entered the great hall taking place near Ron and Harry who had already started eating. You two greeted them but you soon noticed Harry and Ron staring at you. You give them a puzzled look which earned a quick answer from them.
“We’ve just never seen you with your hair like that” Ron started “yeah, they look great” Harry continued. You thanked them as the conversation topic switched to that dreaded potion’s essay you guys had to hand in in three days.
But you just couldn’t focus on the conversation, eyes searching for that tall, ginger prankster who had stolen your heart and that for some reason hasn’t arrived yet.
“You okay y/n?” Harry asked.
“Y-yeah sure” you replied, trying to keep your focus on the conversation.
“Yeah she’s just thinking about her red haired prince charming” Hermione chimed in with a small smirk on her lips. You felt your blood rush to your cheeks as you stayed silent, rolling your eyes.
The ginger twins entered the great hall, sitting down next to you so quickly that you hadn’t even realised they arrived.
Hi guys-“ George said, lips slightly parted and eyes widened as you turned around. “WOAH Y/N, YOUR HAIR” he said, catching Fred’s attention who looked at you with wide eyes and a small blush on his cheeks “I-is there something wrong with it?” You muttered worryingly. “No no no, it’s actually amazing, we just never saw you like this, right Fred?” He said, eyeing his twin with a smirk as the guy was still staring, lost in his thoughts. “Uhh yeah yeah, he’s right” he said quickly, shaking his head “you look beautiful like this, you know?” he said with a smirk as you felt your cheeks redden. Everybody looked at you two, eyes rolling jokingly as they were all thinking about when you’ll both confess your feelings to each other.
The conversation topic switched again from your hair to this mad prank the twins were pulling on Snape before coming to dinner.
You were now focused, lively as always, although you felt Fred’s eyes glued on you the whole time as you ate dinner and talked with your friends.
Dinner ended and, as you guys were all walking to the gryffindor common room, you felt an arm wrapping around your neck. You looked up, seeing Fred’s face smirking at you again as you looked away.
“So, new look uh?” He said. You guys were now walking behind the others.
“Yeah. It is too humid to use a straightener, my hair becomes poofy five minutes after straightening them” you started “so today Hermione helped me with styling them following their natural pattern” you say as you looked up again just to see that Fred’s eyes had widened “so these are your natural hair?” he asked.
You felt worry wash over you.
“Y-yeah…these are my natural hair.” you say, looking forward.
“Woah” he muttered “but why have I never seen them? I mean, you look bloody gorgeous with your hair like this, why won’t you wear them natural more often?” He asked, his cheeks slightly red as he looked at you with his signature smirk, although his eyes were softer now.
“It’s easier to wear it straightened sometimes” you replied, looking at him “plus, I think curly hair makes me look so messy. They just don’t suit me like they suit Hermione.” You said as your expression saddened. You felt Fred’s arm squeezing you making the butterflies in your stomach swarm like crazy. Since your crush started you couldn’t help but feel your cheeks getting warmer or butterflies in your stomach at every little touch. Even if it was accidental.
“I don’t think they make you look messy. They suit you so much” he said, twirling a curl around one of his fingers, focusing on his own motions “you know, I’ve always loved curly hair” he said, his gaze back on your face “I’ve always found them beautiful, especially on gorgeous girls like you~” he said, winking, his smirk back on his face. “Oh shut up!” You said in between giggles as you felt your cheeks redden as he squeezed you more.
“Never, sunshine~” he says with a playful tone, giving a small peck to your already warm cheek.
You thought he had definitely noticed that your whole face was now on fire, as he started laughing hard while his arm was still around your neck, his hand touching your soft, beautiful curls.
You now knew you had noting to worry about them.
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markantonys · 5 hours ago
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I can't remember what Rafe has hinted/what has been leaked/what you've speculated re Matt getting the Ashandarei. On a personal level I really don't give that much of a fuck if he gets a "real" Ashandarei or keeps his DIY dagger-and-spear version from s2, but at this point I want him to get the book version ASAP just so the bookcloaks will stop bellyaching about it.
yeah i don't know if we've had any hints one way or the other! all i can think of is there was an interview with the production designer and he mentioned that it was important to get the design of the DIY spear right because it's the weapon mat will be using "for the rest of the series" but then later in the same interview he said it was the weapon mat will be using "for the rest of the season" so i didn't get a definitive sense on whether he actually meant it would be mat's weapon for the show's entire run or whether he only meant that it was an important spotlit prop for this particular episode (plus english isn't his first language so idk how much stock to put in his precise word choice of series vs. season. heck i think even native english speakers use them differently depending on region, thinking about how taskmaster calls it "series 1" "series 2" etc where an american show would use "season 1" "season 2" instead).
so yeah, i'm not sure what to predict myself! i could see it falling into the same category as what you (i think it was you) were saying about mat's ancient memories, where the show clearly made it so that he got them already from the horn and it's silly for reddit to be expecting him to get them from the finn next season. maybe this is a situation where he got his ashandarei already and it's silly to predict he'll get another, different one next season. on the other hand, the DIY spear wasn't as obvious a substitute as the hero memories, so it's a grayer area. back to the first hand, iirc the bedpost he used IS carved with ravens, which feels like kind of a giveaway that this is indeed THE Ashandarei™ since that's the design it has, unless they only designed the DIY one the same way as easter-egg-y foreshadowing.
back to the second hand, mat still needs to get his medallion. but back to the first, he doesn't have to receive them together, so maybe medallion + answers are his only finn gifts, or maybe he picks up the medallion from the tanchico museum (no reason it can't just be a ter'angreal artifact already lying around in this realm of existence) and only gets answers from the finn. i'm also not even completely sure mat needs the medallion at all if Hating Channelers isn't an entire personality trait of show!mat lmao but it IS such an iconic part of his whole Look that i don't see why they wouldn't include it.
overall, i too don't care either way! i remember i made a post a while back that was like "i can't believe people are actually worried that mat won't get his real ashandarei, come on guys do you think he'll be using a DIY spear for the entire show? be serious" so if he actually does use a DIY spear for the entire show i will be embarrassingly humbled yet again jdkfjg but in my defense, the thing i thought was absurd about that was "mat using a knife taped to a stick as his permanent weapon", it was the unstable temporary craftsmanship that was absurd to me, not the general idea of him making his ashandarei himself rather than being gifted it. all we need is a 3x01 scene of perrin properly blacksmithing knife & stick together (doubling as a good mat-perrin solo bonding scene) and my sole objection would be resolved!
there's also the question of the dagger. would it narratively work for the dagger to be stuck with mat for the rest of the show? i thiiiiiink it would, because rand's already been stabbed, i think fain's already been corrupted, and i kinda doubt they'd bother with elaida's corruption because she's already got enough internal & external factors to make her do crimes without also needing to be corrupted by mashadar. so maybe mat can retain custody of the dagger forever now if no one else needs to come into contact with it. but if not, they could have perrin fashion a new, normal spearhead and weld it onto the stick.
in conclusion, now that i've pictured perrin helping turn DIY Knifestick into a proper permanent weapon, i want it so badly! i want mat's signature weapon to be imbued with the power of friendship and homoerotic stabbings!
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amethystarachnid · 1 day ago
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A PLACE TO STAY - part II
⤷ STEVE G. ROGERS
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ᯓ★ Pairing: Steve G. Rogers x fem!reader
ᯓ★ Genre: fluff, some angst, more fluff at the end
ᯓ★ Request from: MARVEL Holiday special
ᯓ★ Story type: one shot
ᯓ★ Word count: 6.6k
ᯓ★ Part I
ᯓ★ Summary: one Olivia is officially your daughter it's time to show her what having a family means
ᯓ★ TW(s): mentions of abandonment and abandonment issues, reader discovers she's pregnant
ᯓ★ I'm so sorry I know you asked just fluff but I swear the fic wrote itself, and I will sure as hell write a second part where Steve and Y/n adopt Olivia because I'm crying.
ᯓ★ My Masterlist
ᯓ★ MARVEL Holiday Special
ᯓ★ MARVEL Multiverse - choose an AU, pair it with your favorite character and make a request!
ᯓ★ Songs & Superheroes tales - The Game (to make a request, follow the rules on the link!)
ᯓ★ MARVEL Bingo
ᯓ★ English isn’t my first language
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The days since you and Steve had decided to adopt Olivia have been filled with a blend of excitement, nerves, and a deep sense of certainty. It feels like the right thing to do. Every time you picture Olivia’s face—her bright smile, the way she clings to you for comfort, the way her tiny hands grasp your fingers with unspoken trust—your heart swells with love. The idea of offering her a stable, loving home is overwhelming, but you both know it’s what she deserves.
Today, after all the conversations and emotions that have led up to this moment, you and Steve are about to head back to the orphanage. It feels different this time. You’re not just there to spend time with Olivia. This visit is about making things official, about taking the first steps toward a new future—for all of you.
The crisp air of Brooklyn greets you as you and Steve step out of your apartment, bundled up against the cold but still feeling the warmth of each other’s presence. Every step toward the orphanage feels like it matters. Today, you’re not just visiting a child. You’re talking to the headmistress about adopting Olivia.
When you arrive at the orphanage, the familiar sight of the building brings both comfort and nerves. It’s strange to think that not too long ago, this place was just where you met Olivia for the first time. Now, it’s a place where your future with her is about to take root.
The moment you step through the doors, the warmth of the building surrounds you. Children’s laughter and chatter echo in the hallway, but your attention is on the headmistress’s office. You know that Olivia is probably somewhere in the building, playing or perhaps getting ready for her afternoon snack, but today isn’t just about her. It’s about speaking to the headmistress and moving forward with the plans to make Olivia officially part of your family.
You exchange a glance with Steve as you approach the office. His face is soft, yet resolute, the same warmth you’ve come to know in his every expression.
“She’s going to be so happy,” Steve says softly, his voice filled with the same tenderness that’s always there when he talks about Olivia.
“I hope so,” you reply, squeezing his hand. “I know we’ve talked about it, but… asking her feels like a big moment.”
“I think she already knows, Y/n,” Steve responds, a slight smile tugging at his lips. “She already looks at us like we’re family.”
With that, the two of you push open the office door and enter, greeted by the headmistress, who stands up as soon as she sees you. Her kind face radiates warmth, her smile deep and genuine. She’s always been welcoming, and today, that feeling is even more palpable as she takes in your presence.
“Y/n, Steve,” she says, her voice full of kindness, “it’s so good to see you both. I’m glad you could make it today.”
“Thank you for meeting with us,” you say, your voice quiet but filled with gratitude. “We wanted to talk about something important regarding Olivia.”
The headmistress nods knowingly, a slight glint of understanding in her eyes. “I can only imagine what this is about,” she says gently, sitting back down at her desk. “You’ve both been wonderful with her. It’s clear she’s formed a strong bond with you.”
You glance at Steve, and he squeezes your hand as if to reassure you that this moment, this conversation, is one you’ve both been ready for.
“We’ve been thinking a lot about Olivia’s future,” Steve begins. “And we want to make sure that if we’re moving forward with adoption, we’re doing it with her best interests in mind.”
The headmistress nods, her gaze soft but wise. “Of course. We always want what’s best for the children here. Olivia is a wonderful little girl, and I’ve seen her grow so much since you two started visiting her. You’ve brought a light into her life that wasn’t there before. She deserves all the love she’s getting.”
You smile, a mixture of relief and emotion filling your chest at her words. “We want to give her that love permanently,” you say, voice steady but your heart beating faster as you realize the magnitude of what you’re saying. “We want to ask her if she wants us to be her parents.”
The headmistress looks at both of you, a warmth in her gaze that only deepens. “I think that’s a wonderful idea. Olivia has always been a shy, cautious little girl, but over the past few weeks, I’ve seen how much she’s come out of her shell around both of you. She’s more confident, more trusting. She’ll understand the question more than you might think.”
Steve nods, though there’s a trace of doubt in his eyes. “We just… want to make sure she’s really ready for this. Before we go through any legal processes, we want to be sure that it’s something she wants, too.”
“You’re being very thoughtful,” the headmistress says. “I’m sure she’ll be thrilled. But it’s important that she feels like she’s part of the decision. The transition won’t be easy, but I can see how much she’s come to rely on you both. She looks up to you so much.”
There’s a slight pause, and then the headmistress leans back in her chair, her eyes twinkling with understanding. “I can’t think of a better family for her, if I’m being honest. And I know she’ll be happy with you. But asking her is the right way to go.”
The words feel like a confirmation, as if this is the final piece falling into place. It gives you the confidence you need to move forward.
You take a deep breath, and then glance at Steve, who nods again. You both stand together, ready to ask Olivia the question that will change all of your lives.
“We’re going to ask her now,” you say, your voice steady. “Thank you for your support.”
The headmistress smiles warmly. “Take your time. I’m sure it’ll go wonderfully.”
You and Steve exit the office, your hearts racing in unison as you head toward the room where the children are gathered. As you approach, you spot Olivia near the corner, sitting with a few other kids and playing with a set of building blocks. Her little hands are busy, but the moment she sees you, her face lights up.
“Y/n! Steve!” she calls, pushing herself up from the floor and rushing over to you both. The others around her giggle, some calling her name playfully, but it’s clear Olivia only has eyes for you.
You kneel down as she reaches you, and she practically throws herself into your arms. The weight of her small body in your arms feels natural now, like she belongs there.
“Hi, sweetie,” you greet her, brushing a few strands of hair from her face. “How’s your day been?”
“Good!” Olivia exclaims, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “I make tower!” She holds up a small block, showing off the tiny structure she’s built. “Look!”
“That’s amazing,” Steve says with a smile, bending down to admire the little creation. He’s always so gentle with her, always so patient. You can see the love he has for her written clearly on his face.
But today is different. Today, you’re here to ask her something that will change everything.
“Olivia,” you say softly, your voice filled with warmth and care, “we need to talk to you about something important.”
She tilts her head, her brow furrowing slightly as she looks between you and Steve, her small hands still clutching the block in front of her.
“Do you remember when we talked about going home with us? About being a family?” you ask gently, making sure she’s following along.
Olivia’s eyes widen, and she nods enthusiastically. “Home!” she exclaims, her small hands clasping together. “Go home with you!”
You smile at her eagerness, your heart swelling. “We’ve been thinking a lot about that,” you continue, “and we wanted to ask you something. We want to know if you’d like us to be your mommy and daddy. If you want us to be your family. Forever.”
Her eyes search yours, blinking a few times as she processes the words. It’s quiet for a moment, and you wonder if she truly understands the weight of the question. But then, after a beat of silence, she lets out a little gasp.
“Yes!” she says, a huge grin spreading across her face. “Yes, yes, yes!”
You can hardly believe it. The joy in her voice is undeniable, and her little arms reach up toward you as if to prove it. You pull her into your arms, laughing with tears in your eyes.
“Are you sure?” Steve asks gently, his voice thick with emotion. “You really want us to be your parents?”
Olivia nods so enthusiastically it almost makes her dizzy. “Yes!” she says again, her tiny voice filled with joy. “Mommy, Daddy. Yes!”
You and Steve exchange a look of pure joy and disbelief. It’s as though everything has fallen into place—this little girl, who had been so cautious at first, now completely trusts you both to be her parents.
“Then it’s settled,” you say, your voice breaking slightly with emotion. “We’re going to be a family.”
Steve smiles, his eyes glistening with tears of his own as he hugs Olivia tightly, pulling you into the embrace. The three of you hold each other, the weight of what you’ve just agreed on sinking in. This is the beginning of something beautiful.
And in that moment, you know that Olivia has found her home. And you’ve found the family you were always meant to have.
The days after Olivia’s joyous acceptance of the adoption felt surreal. Everything was changing, but it was a change that you had longed for. It was a change that filled you with a sense of purpose and a warmth that made every moment feel even more meaningful than the last.
As you and Steve sat down to discuss the legal steps of adoption, you knew that this wasn’t going to be an easy or quick process. The legalities of adopting a child, especially from a system as large and complicated as the one Olivia had come from, would take time. A lot of time. It would require patience, paperwork, and plenty of legal representation. And while you were confident that everything would work out in the end, there was one thing that remained a little daunting: the financial side of it all.
But neither you nor Steve gave much thought to the cost. You both knew that money would come and go, but this—Olivia—was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. This was your future. The legalities, the bureaucracy, the long wait—none of that mattered when you had the love and commitment that you and Steve shared.
“We’re going to do this,” Steve said one evening as you sat at the kitchen table, papers strewn across it. “No matter how long it takes. No matter how much it costs. Olivia deserves this.”
You nodded, taking a deep breath. The stack of forms was daunting, but it didn’t faze you. “We’re ready,” you replied, your voice steady. “We’ll get through it together.”
It wasn’t easy, and it certainly wasn’t fast. There were meetings with lawyers, phone calls with social workers, and stacks of paperwork that seemed to multiply by the day. It was overwhelming at times, but every step felt like it was bringing you closer to Olivia. Every time you signed a form or spoke with someone about the process, you felt more certain that this was the right thing to do.
In the midst of the whirlwind of legal meetings and paperwork, there was something else that kept you both busy—transforming your apartment to prepare for Olivia’s arrival. You’d always loved your space, but now that the thought of being a family was a reality, it felt more important than ever to make sure everything was perfect for her. Your apartment in Brooklyn had been cozy and inviting, but there was one room that remained a little underused—the spare room. It had always been a place for storage or an extra guest room, but now, it was about to become something far more important.
This room would be Olivia’s.
“Alright,” Steve said one Saturday morning as you stood in the doorway of the spare room, surveying the space. “We need to make it perfect for her. What do you think?”
You looked around at the room, which was still filled with old furniture and boxes that hadn’t been unpacked from when you first moved in. It felt like it had so much potential—like it was waiting to be something special. And now, with Olivia’s future in mind, it felt like the perfect canvas.
“I think it needs to be… pink,” you said, your voice full of certainty. “It’s her favorite color.”
Steve’s lips curled into a smile as he looked at you. “Pink, huh? I’m not sure I’m ready for a pink overload, but if it’s what she wants…”
“It’s not just what she wants,” you replied, your tone soft and affectionate. “It’s what she deserves. She deserves a room that’s all hers, a place that feels like home. A place where she can feel safe, loved, and special.”
Steve’s smile softened, and he nodded. “Alright. Pink it is. But we’ll need some other colors to balance it out. Maybe some white and cream? Light wood accents?”
You nodded, already mentally planning the color scheme. “Yes, exactly. Light and airy, but still warm and cozy. We can put a little white dresser with pink accents, and maybe a cream-colored rug. And for the walls—maybe a soft pastel pink with some fun, subtle wallpaper that has little hearts or stars?”
“That sounds perfect,” Steve agreed, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “I love the idea of making it feel like her own little world.”
You both spent the next few weeks going to stores, picking out paint samples, furniture, and little decorations. It was one of the most enjoyable experiences you’d had together. Every decision felt meaningful—the color of the walls, the design of the bedspread, the little stuffed animals that would sit on the shelves. Each little detail seemed to add up to something bigger than you could have ever imagined. This was no longer just a room. It was Olivia’s room, and you were making it a place where she would feel nothing but love.
One Saturday, you and Steve got to work. You started by painting the walls a soft, pastel pink, the color already feeling like it belonged. You laughed as Steve struggled to find the right angle to reach the top of the walls, his tall frame a bit too much for the small space. You stood on a ladder, rolling paint on the lower parts of the wall, exchanging playful comments as you both worked together to create a room that would feel like home for Olivia.
“You know,” Steve said between strokes of the roller, “I didn’t think I’d ever get this excited about painting a room. But this… this feels different. This feels important.”
You smiled, looking over at him. “It is different. This is her space, Steve. She’s going to have a place to call her own, a place where she’s safe and loved. And that’s everything.”
As the paint dried, you and Steve began to assemble the furniture—an adorable white bedframe with a matching dresser, soft pastel-colored bedding with little floral patterns. You hung up shelves, arranging stuffed animals and toys that you’d bought for Olivia over the past few weeks. There was a small rocking chair near the window, perfect for reading bedtime stories, and a pink area rug in the middle of the room that felt so soft underfoot.
Steve was putting together the final pieces when you stood in the doorway, admiring the room. It felt perfect—so inviting and full of love, a space where Olivia would flourish.
“We’ve really done it,” you said softly, your voice filled with awe.
Steve walked over to you, his hand resting gently on your back. He gazed at the room with you, his eyes soft. “She’s going to love it.”
“She already does,” you replied, your heart swelling. “We’re giving her everything she needs. She’s going to have a real home.”
Later that evening, after Olivia had returned from the orphanage, the two of you brought her to the room, her little hands grasping yours as you led her inside. Her eyes widened in shock and wonder as she stepped into the transformed space.
“Wow,” she whispered, taking in the pink walls, the soft bedding, the shelves filled with toys. She ran her hands over the bedspread, a smile spreading across her face. “Mine?”
“It’s all yours,” you said gently, kneeling down to her level. “This is your room, Olivia. You can play here, sleep here, and just be yourself.”
Her face lit up with joy, her small hands reaching out to touch everything in the room. “Pink! I love pink!” she exclaimed, her voice full of excitement.
Steve crouched down beside her, smiling warmly. “I’m glad you love it, sweetheart. We made it just for you.”
Olivia beamed at both of you, her little arms reaching up to wrap around your neck as she hugged you tightly. “I love it. Thank you, Mommy. Thank you, Daddy.”
You felt a lump form in your throat, and your heart swelled with an emotion you couldn’t describe. This was real. This was happening. You were building a life with Olivia—a family. And every moment, every decision, every laugh, every hug made it feel like the most beautiful thing in the world.
As Olivia giggled and bounced on her new bed, you and Steve exchanged a look. There was so much left to do—so much more to give her—but in that moment, you knew that this was the beginning of everything. This room, this life, this love. It was all for her.
And together, you and Steve were ready to give her the family she had always deserved.
The months since Olivia had become an official part of your life had been a whirlwind. What started as visits to the orphanage, cautious steps toward adoption, and days of transforming a room into a bright, pink sanctuary for her, had led to this moment. The paperwork was finally done, the court hearings had been completed, and after months of waiting and hoping, Olivia was now your daughter—legally, forever.
The day you got the final confirmation that the adoption had been approved was a blur of emotions. You and Steve sat together in your apartment, holding each other as you stared at the email, the news still sinking in. A few months ago, you couldn’t have imagined that this day would come so soon. The future that had once seemed uncertain now felt like a reality—a family forged in love, patience, and care.
“Olivia is our daughter,” Steve whispered, his voice thick with emotion as he held the phone up to show you the confirmation. “She’s ours.”
Tears welled in your eyes as you squeezed his hand. “She’s really ours, Steve. After everything, it’s real.”
Now, it was time to bring her home—truly home. No more visits. No more goodbyes. Olivia, the little girl who had captured your heart with her smile and cautious trust, was about to become a permanent part of your family.
It was a warm Saturday afternoon when you and Steve drove to the orphanage to pick up Olivia. The sun was shining, the city bustling around you, but none of that mattered. Your heart was focused on the little girl waiting for you. Olivia had already been told by the headmistress that today was the day, and when you walked into the orphanage to find her, she was already bouncing with excitement.
Her eyes lit up when she saw you both standing in the doorway. She didn’t hesitate for a moment, her little legs propelling her forward as she ran into your arms.
“Mommy! Daddy!” she squealed, wrapping her arms around you both in a tight embrace. The feeling of her small body pressing against you was something you never got used to—it was the feeling of home, the feeling of being exactly where you were meant to be.
“Hi, sweetheart,” you said, hugging her close, feeling the joy bubble up inside you. “Are you ready to come home with us?”
Olivia nodded enthusiastically, her eyes sparkling. “Home! Forever?”
You looked over at Steve, your heart full. “Yes, sweetheart. Forever.”
As you made your way out of the orphanage and into the car, the world outside felt different. There was a sense of finality, but also excitement. You could almost feel the air shift, as if everything had aligned just right for the three of you. This was the moment you had been waiting for—the day when Olivia would finally get to experience what it was like to have a real home, a safe space with two parents who loved her beyond measure.
The ride to your apartment felt like it took forever. Olivia chattered excitedly in the backseat, her tiny voice full of enthusiasm as she looked out the window at the passing scenery. “Is it big? My room? My bed? My toys?” she asked, her curiosity bubbling over.
“Your room is waiting for you,” Steve answered, glancing at her through the rearview mirror. “It’s just as you left it—pink and perfect, just the way you like it.”
You smiled at her, your heart swelling. “And we’ve got lots of toys and books for you to enjoy. We can play together, every day.”
By the time you arrived at the apartment, Olivia’s excitement had reached its peak. As soon as you parked the car, she was already unbuckling her seatbelt, eager to get out. You both helped her out of the car, holding her hands as you walked into the building and up the stairs to your apartment.
When you opened the door, Olivia stood frozen in the doorway for a moment, her eyes scanning the familiar space. It was no longer just a place she had visited—this was her home now, every corner filled with love and warmth. She walked inside slowly, her little steps careful, as if she were waiting for something to change.
“Do you want to see your room?” you asked gently, crouching down to her level, making sure to give her the space she needed.
Her eyes widened, and she nodded quickly. “Yes!”
You took her hand and led her down the hallway toward the room that had been waiting for her all this time. The door creaked open, and Olivia gasped, her tiny face lighting up as she took in the sight of her room—her very own room. The walls were painted a soft pink, the bed covered with a fluffy duvet, and the shelves lined with toys, stuffed animals, and books. The soft cream rug beneath her feet added to the warmth of the room, and it felt like a true sanctuary.
Olivia’s small hands touched the bedspread, the pink fabric soft under her fingers. “My bed… it’s so soft,” she whispered, sitting down gently, her eyes wide with awe. She ran her hands over the sheets, a sense of wonder filling her voice. “This is mine?”
“It’s all yours,” Steve said softly, his voice full of pride. “And it’s where you’ll sleep every night, sweetie.”
Olivia beamed, her little face glowing with happiness. “I love it,” she said, her voice quiet, as if taking in the gravity of the moment.
You sat next to her on the bed, wrapping your arms around her. “We love you, Olivia. This is your home now, and we’ll always take care of you.”
Over the next few days, Olivia slowly settled into the rhythms of her new life. At first, everything was new and a little overwhelming for her. She had never had two parents who looked after her constantly, never had a place where she could leave her things out without worry, and never had the security of knowing that no one was going to take it all away.
There were moments when she seemed uncertain, moments when she clung to you a little tighter than usual, but as time passed, she began to relax into the comfort of her new home. She knew she was safe here. She knew that Steve and you would always be there for her.
You and Steve took turns comforting her when she woke up in the middle of the night, crying softly for reasons she couldn’t always express. It wasn’t always easy, but you both understood that this was part of the process. Olivia was learning to trust that she would never be abandoned again.
“I’m here, sweetie,” you whispered one night as Olivia curled into your arms, tears staining her little cheeks. “I’m right here. You’re not alone.”
Olivia’s tiny hands clutched your shirt, her sobs quieting as she relaxed into your embrace. “Mommy… stay with me.”
“I’ll always stay with you, Olivia. We’ll always be together.”
And slowly, the nights became easier. Olivia began to sleep through the night more and more often, her dreams peaceful as she adjusted to the stability of her new life. During the day, she was full of energy—laughing, playing, and exploring her new home. She was becoming more and more comfortable with the idea of having two parents, and it filled your heart with joy to see her growing so quickly.
Steve was always there, helping to create routines that made Olivia feel secure. Breakfast together in the mornings, with the sunlight streaming through the windows as Olivia ate her pancakes and giggled. Afternoons spent playing games in the living room or reading books together, Steve sitting on the couch with Olivia in his lap as she pointed at pictures in the storybooks, asking him to read each word. Evenings spent cooking dinner together, with Olivia sitting at the kitchen counter, her small hands stirring the bowl of batter as you and Steve worked side by side.
Sometimes, when Olivia wasn’t looking, you’d catch Steve glancing over at you with a smile that said everything. The joy in his eyes as he watched his little girl grow more confident, more secure in her place within your family. It was a look you shared—one that said this was everything. This was what you had been waiting for, together.
Olivia had begun to call Steve “Daddy” without hesitation. It had been a slow process, but now, when she ran into the living room with a drawing in her hand, her eyes shining with excitement, she’d shout, “Daddy, look what I made!”
And when she ran into your arms at the end of the day, she’d whisper, “Mommy, I love you.”
There were still moments of adjustment, of course. Olivia sometimes had trouble articulating her feelings, and there were moments when she felt confused or afraid, but those moments were fewer now. With each passing day, she was learning to trust the love you and Steve had for her, learning to see you both as the safe haven she had always longed for.
One afternoon, as you sat on the couch with Olivia nestled beside you, her head resting on your shoulder, you thought back to the beginning. The first time you had met her at the orphanage, the way she had clung to you so tightly, unsure of the love you were offering. And now, months later, she was here—fully your daughter, fully a part of your family.
It had taken time. There had been struggles, doubts, and moments of uncertainty. But none of it had mattered. Because now, Olivia had a family who would always love her, who would always be there for her.
And you, Steve, and Olivia were finally together, forever.
Every day with Olivia brought something new—moments of discovery, laughter, and, occasionally, confusion. She was growing more comfortable in her new life, but there were still times when the weight of all the changes was visible on her small face. You and Steve worked tirelessly to make sure she felt loved and safe, prioritizing her happiness above everything else.
One of those days came during a trip to the mall, an outing you had planned as a fun adventure for the three of you. Olivia was still enamored with the idea of the mall after her first visit, but this time, you promised to let her pick out something special for herself. As you walked hand in hand through the bustling corridors, Olivia’s wide eyes darted from one brightly lit store window to the next.
“Mommy, what’s that?” she asked, pointing to a mannequin dressed in a shimmering pink dress.
“It’s a dress, sweetie,” you explained with a smile. “Do you like it?”
She nodded thoughtfully, her tiny face serious as she considered the possibilities. “Can I try it on?”
“You sure can,” Steve said, squeezing her little hand gently. “Let’s go see if they have it in your size.”
Olivia’s excitement bubbled over as you led her into the store. A kind salesperson helped you find the dress in her size, and soon, Olivia was standing in front of a mirror, twirling as the pink fabric shimmered under the lights. Her giggles echoed through the dressing room, and your heart swelled as you watched her revel in the simple joy of trying something new.
“You look beautiful, sweetheart,” Steve said, kneeling to her level as she continued to twirl. “Like a princess.”
Olivia stopped spinning and looked at Steve with wide eyes. “A princess? Like in the movies?”
“Exactly like that,” he replied, grinning. “But even better, because you’re real.”
Her laughter filled the air as she hugged Steve tightly. “Thank you, Daddy.”
Moments like these made the transition easier for Olivia. She was discovering a world she’d never known before, filled with kindness and possibility. But not everything was so straightforward. One evening, while you were all enjoying dinner together, Steve’s phone rang with a tone Olivia had come to recognize—the one that meant he was being called to work.
“No,” she said suddenly, her fork dropping onto her plate. “No, Daddy, don’t go!”
Steve’s brow furrowed as he crouched beside her chair, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Sweetheart, I have to. It’s my job to help people, remember?”
“But what if you don’t come back?” she asked, her voice trembling. Tears welled in her eyes as she clung to him.
Your heart ached at the sight of her distress, and you knelt beside her, wrapping an arm around her small shoulders. “Daddy always comes back, Livvy. He always will. You know how much he loves you, right?”
Olivia sniffled and nodded, but the worry didn’t leave her face. Steve pulled her into his arms, holding her close. “I’ll be back before you know it,” he whispered. “And I’ll call you every chance I get. Promise.”
Eventually, Olivia let him go, though her eyes stayed glued to the door long after he’d left. That night, you let her sleep in your bed, her small body curled against yours as you stroked her hair and reassured her that everything would be okay.
Despite these challenges, Olivia continued to flourish. Her days were filled with new experiences, like her first trip to the park, where she discovered the thrill of swinging high into the sky, and her first attempt at baking cookies with you, which ended in flour-covered laughter and some surprisingly delicious treats. She was constantly learning and growing, her curious mind eager to absorb everything her new world had to offer.
But what she seemed to love most of all was simply spending time with you and Steve. Whether it was movie nights snuggled on the couch, reading bedtime stories together, or lazy Sunday mornings filled with pancakes and cuddles, Olivia thrived on the love and attention you both gave her.
One particularly chilly evening, after a long day of playing in the park, the three of you were bundled up on the couch, wrapped in blankets as a movie played softly in the background. Olivia was nestled between you and Steve, her head resting on your shoulder as her tiny fingers played with the fabric of your sweater.
“I love this,” she murmured sleepily, her voice barely audible over the movie. “I love being with you.”
Your heart melted at her words, and you kissed the top of her head, holding her a little tighter. “We love being with you too, Livvy.”
Steve reached over to brush a stray curl from her face, his eyes filled with warmth. “You’re the best part of our lives, kiddo.”
Olivia beamed up at him, her face radiant with happiness. Moments like this were what made everything worth it—the late nights, the tears, the challenges. She was your daughter, and there was nothing more fulfilling than seeing her feel safe and loved.
As time went on, Olivia continued to settle into her new life. She grew more confident and independent, but she never stopped seeking the comfort of your arms or Steve’s reassuring presence. She learned to navigate the complexities of her world, from the excitement of trying new things to the confusion of understanding Steve’s dual role as her dad and Captain America.
And though there were still moments of uncertainty, one thing was clear: Olivia had found her place in your family, and she knew, without a doubt, that she was loved.
For her, that was enough. And for you and Steve, it was everything.
The week flew by in a blur of cuddles, playtime, and quiet moments that made life feel impossibly full. Then came the invitation: a family dinner that would bring both your and Steve’s families together, all eager to meet the newest addition to the Rogers household. You were thrilled at the thought of introducing Olivia to her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, but as the day approached, Olivia grew quiet and withdrawn.
On the drive to your parents' house, Olivia sat in her car seat, clutching her pink bear—a beloved souvenir from her first mall trip. She was uncharacteristically quiet, her eyes fixed on the scenery outside.
“You okay, Livvy?” you asked, turning slightly in your seat.
Her little shoulders lifted in a hesitant shrug. “What if they don’t like me?” she asked in a small voice, barely audible over the hum of the car.
Steve met your worried gaze in the rearview mirror. “Oh, sweetheart,” he said gently, glancing back at her. “Why would you think that?”
“’Cause I’m not really yours,” she mumbled, her words tugging at your heartstrings.
You immediately turned to face her fully. “Olivia Rogers, listen to me,” you said softly but firmly. “You are ours in every way that matters. And our families are going to love you because you’re you. You’re smart, funny, sweet, and the most incredible little girl. They’ve been so excited to meet you.”
“Really?” she asked, her voice tinged with hope.
“Really,” Steve said, smiling warmly. “They already love you, Livvy. Just wait and see.”
The reassurance seemed to calm her nerves a little, but she still clung to her bear as the car pulled into the driveway of your parents’ house. The porch light was on, casting a warm glow over the scene, and the sounds of laughter and chatter floated through the open windows.
As soon as you stepped out of the car, the door opened, and your mother appeared, a wide smile spreading across her face as she waved. “They’re here!” she called over her shoulder.
Olivia hesitated, her small hand gripping yours tightly as you walked up the steps. Steve carried her overnight bag, his other hand resting reassuringly on her back.
“Hi, sweetie!” your mother greeted warmly, kneeling to Olivia’s height. “You must be Olivia. I’ve heard so much about you!”
Olivia glanced at you, her eyes uncertain. You gave her a gentle nod, encouraging her. “It’s okay, Livvy,” you whispered.
“Hi,” Olivia said shyly, her voice barely above a whisper.
Your mother beamed, her joy palpable. “Come on in, everyone’s so excited to meet you!”
Inside, the house was a bustle of activity. Steve’s mom was setting the table with your dad, and your siblings were chatting with Steve’s sister. The moment Olivia stepped into the living room, she froze. Piled in the corner, almost spilling into the room, was a mountain of brightly wrapped gifts, each adorned with a bow or ribbon.
“That’s for me?” Olivia asked, her voice a mix of awe and disbelief.
“Of course, they’re for you!” Steve’s mom chimed in, coming over to greet her. “We couldn’t wait to spoil you!”
Olivia’s grip on your hand tightened. “But… why?”
“Because we already love you,” your mom said, her voice filled with emotion. “And we want you to feel at home here.”
Slowly, Olivia’s nerves began to melt away as family members took turns introducing themselves. She remained quiet at first, answering questions in single words and holding tightly to her bear. But as the evening wore on, the warmth of her new family worked its magic.
The turning point came when your dad crouched down beside her and asked, “Olivia, do you like games?”
Her eyes lit up for the first time since arriving. “Games? I love games!”
“Well,” your dad said conspiratorially, “I happen to be the best checkers player in this whole house. Think you can beat me?”
A small giggle escaped her lips, and she nodded enthusiastically. “I can try!”
From that moment on, Olivia blossomed. She played checkers with your dad, who “accidentally” let her win every game, and she insisted on showing Steve’s mom her pink bear. Your mom pulled out a photo album and sat with Olivia on the couch, showing her baby pictures of you and Steve, much to Olivia’s delight.
“Daddy was a baby too?” Olivia asked, her tone incredulous.
Steve chuckled, ruffling her hair. “Yep, even me.”
As the night continued, Olivia grew bolder, her laughter filling the room as she bounced between relatives, sharing stories and soaking up the love and attention. The mountain of gifts was slowly unwrapped, revealing toys, clothes, and even a pink tricycle, which earned an ear-piercing squeal of delight.
By the time dessert was served, Olivia was perched on Steve’s mom’s lap, chatting away like they’d known each other forever. She didn’t seem to mind that her grandparents couldn’t run and play the way she was used to; instead, she found joy in their hugs, their stories, and the simple act of being included in the family.
As you watched her interact with everyone, your heart swelled with pride. This was her family now, and she was already carving out her place in it.
Later that night, as the guests began to leave and Olivia’s energy started to wane, she curled up on the couch beside you, her head resting on your shoulder. “Mommy?” she murmured sleepily.
“Yes, sweetie?”
“They really like me,” she said, her voice filled with wonder.
You wrapped an arm around her, holding her close. “Of course they do, Livvy. They love you.”
“And I love them too,” she said, her words slurring as she drifted off to sleep.
Steve scooped her up gently, carrying her to the guest room where she’d be spending the night. As he tucked her in, he kissed her forehead, his voice soft as he whispered, “Goodnight, kiddo. Sweet dreams.”
As you stood in the doorway, watching him with Olivia, you felt a wave of gratitude wash over you. This was your family.
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transmechanicus · 6 hours ago
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How to write in TMBTE runes
>Be windows user
>go to PC>Windows>System32>eudcedit.exe
>Run it. This opens a grid of currently empty unicode values that you can add symbols to
>Pick one, i started with the top left, E000 and descended from there (E010, E020, etc)
>You will be presented with a space to draw pixel art. Thank Sleep these designs are geometric.
>Draw the rune for A. Edit, save character. That symbol is now saved to that unicode value in your computer. Make sure they're as big as you can manage and exaggerate the little > < on some letters bc detail gets lost at smaller font sizes.
>Draw the rest of the 24 runes. Save each one. I did some well planned cutting pasting, rotating, and save-as-ing to save time (KLMN are all the same shape just spun around)
>Close the program, nice work
>Download and run the Microsoft Keyboard Creator
>File, Load keyboard (i used US-International), then click the displayed key for "A".
>In the text box that opens for that key, type U+YourUnicodeHere (Ex: U+E000)
>Repeat for every rune.
>Open Project, Properties, make sure the name and description is something recognizable and that it's saving to a preferably empty folder.
>Project, Test to make sure everything looks good.
>Project, Validate to confirm the keyboard is functional (it will give you a popup saying it validated but with warnings. Ignore them, it's just saying the runes are weird and won't display online)
>Project, Build DLL and Setup Package. This confirms your keyboard and packs it in an executable that will add it as a variation of whatever keyboard you started with. (Mine shows up as English - Sleep Token bc of my description)
>When the build is done, open file destination, run "setup" and approve changes.
>Give your computer like 5 minutes, then i recommend a restart. Without the restart, trying to use the new keyboard seems to crash for the first couple minutes, but after 30 minutes it should adjust regardless. When you're back on, in the bottom right you should see the additional option in your active keyboards. You can delete or double check the uploaded keyboards in "Edit Keyboard and Language Options" in Settings
>Lmk if anyone has issues, i'm not a computer scientist but this is working fine in Notepad, and any other text program operating out of my laptop such as Word or Powerpoint. Anything online that is pulling its unicode references from elsewhere (google docs, tumblr, presumably discord) is going to either Not Register that you're typing, or will display empty boxes. Still gnawing on an idea to fix it, if you're a computer person with ideas lmk.
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corpsentry · 6 months ago
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there’s something so epic about hetero chinese period dramas and i think one part of it is that there is absolutely nowhere in the narrative i could exist.
lately i’ve been on a western media detox— i’ve cleaned english language music out of my playlists and have never been able to stomach western dramas anyway, so that part is easy— which might seem funny, because if i’m in singapore and i hate it and i won’t touch american music then what’s left? the answer is the false binarism of chinese period dramas, at least for me. the badly written ones are misogynistic and stupid and the better ones are less of those things, but regardless the world that emerges is clean-cut and easy to parse. there’s someone to root for and someone to hate. there’s a girl and a boy. there’s the comedy and the drama, the sheer thick drama, the music that signals to you precisely how to feel before the scene even starts going
try to jam a fifth culture transnational transgender they/them with 2 mental illness and 1 autoimmune disease into this world and it simply doesn’t work. and that’s kinda epic lolzers! it’s like watching high fantasy, or super hardcore sci-if. it both represents a simulacrum of the real world and is so far from the reality you know that you understand it as a hypothetical universe, one that disincludes you on principle. i exclude myself from the story and in doing so fangfei from moyuyunjian’s steely gaze becomes all the more important. i give so many shits and laugh and yell and spectate. but i am safe from the eyes of its inhabitants. if i entered the story it would break. so i sit outside of it, clapping by myself
in other news, we gave up on mysterious lotus casebook 16 episodes in. there are many character archetypes in these shows that i can no longer stand; the salacious sexy seductive supervillain lady is not necessarily one of them but the way they did miss ‘this man didn’t even Look at me when all men fall at my knees so i hated him’ ‘no one is allowed to steal buttchin from me’ jiao was way up there. surely a woman can have multiple personality traits and yet you would think from this drama that that is not at all true. and the strange harem that grew around li lianhua despite his absolute loser attitude— like i get it, he’s the gintoki of this show, that’s hot, but the way the women who were into him were written made me want to Eat Horse. it bothered me that di feisheng and lianhua’s homo as fuck dynamic was so intriguing and them + fang duobing was a winning trio but all the women in the show were written like complete fucking ass, and one of the big antagonists being a woman, the stakes throughout were not only lost to me but also Pissed Me Off. also, that case about the corpse flowers dragged on forever and all my pocky wilted
I Just Think, women deserve better in these damn stories. make them slutty as hell, sure, but make them other things too and i mean this in the most generous sense. slutty and proud. slutty and weird. slutty and oblivious. literally anything at all so they don’t come out cardboard flat from all angles. this is why i have a personal vendetta against the ditzy clueless female protagonist as well because if everything stems from the fact that she doesn’t know shit it’s like please someone Please tell her shit i’m on my hands and knees begging. give her more to chew on she’s dying of boredom over there
this is why i liked the so called antagonist of blossoms in adversity best (spoilers ahead). he was cruel as hell to huazhi and gu yanxi’s only parental figure. he was paranoid and selfish and lonely and craved a son’s love from the one person he couldn’t hold onto. in the end he is pushed further and further by huazhi, who won’t give in, to isolate yanxi from the people he loves and to lash out at those people as a way of punishing yanxi. and when he dies it’s because of his own distrust, his own negligent parenting, his absent cruelty from decades of insomnia and lack of faith in his people. but he cries for yanxi, and there’s something so human about that. to think of evil not as a first principle but rather an adjective for a verb that is set in motion by other events. to be honest, i haven’t seen such thoughtful writing in any chinese period drama before or after that and i strongly suspect i will never see such writing again in this genre but man, it was so fucking good (spoilers end).
in the meantime, i’ve dragged my mother to moyuyunjian/the double for the return casting of liu xiening and wang xingyue who are Eating so hard. they’ve got wang xingyue done up with the sluttiest makeup and liu xiening is breaking my heart with her pout and her Sassy Mean constitution and this is a revenge story, yes, but it’s a double revenge story. it’s a grief story. and fangfei is carrying more on her shoulders than lingbuyi imo, and doing so with much more grace too. her step mom’s a dick but she’s a smart, 5d chess playing dick who wears hot shades of green so i’m personally interested enough to keep watching (something lotus casebook DID NOT accomplish with their epic female antagonist…. mein gotte). and the princess too. unhinged as hell but god, so charismatic. and beautiful, with scary big eyes and the sweetest head tilt. fun fun fun! that’s fun character writing right there. the comedy might be too straightforward for my tastes but everything else is kind of hot and sexy And after the coming of age ceremony when jiangli appeared amidst the flowers i felt my throat close up even though we saw her for all of one (1) episode). i was like yes. they got me alright. i Care now
really that’s all that matters isn’t it. we want stories about people we care for. we want to give a shit. why else would we listen to the stories of other people. we are looking for us and the people we love in them
oh also moyuyunjian soundtrack goes hard as hell i love a little three step waltz. here’s a pic from the ‘gym’ for ur time. guten night
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#gelmo#i get so. i get so angry when women write ass female characters like fr ur kicking urself in the crotch rn#you can be innocent/clueless about The World and still be so compelling#thinking about guxiang from word of honor. she was goofy and oblivious but she also had Teeth#and she was strong! and had opinions and stuff#so important to have opinions….. especially in the pre internet age#i hage so many more thoughts on this topic but i took melatonin which should knock me out so#this is not a well organized argumentative essay this is just me yapping in an empty room#but yeah i was disappointed at lotus casebook. particularly given its high as fuck reviews#reviews? i mean ratings. and stellar reviews or whatever#also the ending (sans 24 episodes of context granted) was ASS i was like ??? it’s over ??? surely not#idk it didn’t work for me. glad it worked for some other homies. fang duobing let me rescue u and the dog from this shit ass story#anyway……….. i have been unable to listen to english language music in some weeks now#this is quite major for me. given my 2 year indie folk phase. but i need a break from america and the ideological west at large#no more taylor biden…. justin kahan…………#just my chinese drama insert songs nct 127’s sixth album WALK and jacky cheung#it’s true i keep landing myself in these spots where i’m sick of america and i’m sick of singapore so how are my friends (from these two#countries) supposed to approach me. well the answer is they are not the country but it’s trhe i am in one of those weird holes right now#glad i’ll be leaving in august briefly! watch me go. awooooo
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always-a-slut-4-ghouls · 1 month ago
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I don’t get why people feel like the Duolingo owl is threatening, if I ever feel like he is I just get mad at him. I could fight an owl. I don’t know if I’d win, but I don’t think I’d lose (two things that can apparently coexist). I think I’d survive at least and that’s not really winning but also not losing.
You wanna be so threatening? Da bør du drepe meg!
#emma posts#I used google translate for help because they haven’t taught me the phrase ‘kill me’ yet#taught me the word for beer øle but not the more important words like ‘kill’#as far as I can tell everything else in that sentence checks out so I figured the translation was good enough#not sure if it’s in the right order or if you use better that way in Norwegian. but good enough for a tumblr flop post#Emma’s adventures in using Duolingo#I should honestly use that as a tag for it#I post enough venting about that app#until I find out if I’m dyslexic for sure and there’s a way to help that with other languages. I’m not going to pay for Babbel yet#Babbel has Icelandic lessons too I think and that is my final boss tbh#I’ve been going from easiest for English speakers to hardest as my plan#and it turns out that I forgot how much some of my issues affect learning new languages#last time I learned another language it was Spanish and I’m not fluent but I’ve had classes and been around it for so long#that i kinda forgot what it’s like to start from scratch#I didn’t start trying to learn Norwegian until I was 26#or was it my 27th birthday? I could check my streak#I was like ‘psh. it will be harder with my disabilities. but I should be able to read. my top priority with this language’#and then I realized I had been somehow adapting to the other two languages since childhood and forgot how much I had to work around#I mean. I knew I was worse at language arts in school than I was in literature and writing. but still#I also already knew I was worse at making new sentences in other languages than I was figuring out ones that someone else made#but I thought that was just because I hadn’t used Spanish much for several years now#every time I try to re-learn Spanish it just ends up with me being able to figure out what someone said to me but not how to answer#if i brushed up on it again i could probably have a conversation with someone who understood English but better spoke Spanish#someone with the same problem as me but reversed language wise#please don’t take this as me saying I could currently have an entire conversation with someone speaking Spanish#I’m better than someone who never learned it and didn’t encounter it’s use a lot. but I really don’t think I could have a real conversation#not at the moment at least#I have been meaning to brush up on Spanish again too. there are at least real classes in my area for it and not just an app#the last time there were Norwegian classes around here my dad was in college and old people still spoke it#no one around here speaks it anymore
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hersterical · 1 year ago
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A brief look into my mind ever since seeing The Marvels: Kate Bishop Kate Bishop Kate Bishop Kate Bishop Lucky Kate Bishop Kate Bishop Lucky the Pizza Dog Kate Bishop Kate Bishop Kate Bishop Hawkeye Hawkeye Kate Bishop Kate Bishop KATHERINE ELIZABETH BISHOP Kate Bishop Kate Bishop Kate Bishop Young Avengers Kate Bishop Hawkeye Investigations Kate Bishop Kate Bishop Pizza Dog Kate Bishop Lucky the Pizza Dog Kate Bishop Hawkeye Kate Bishop Kate Bishop Kate Bishop Kate Bishop Kate Bishop Kate Bishop Kate Bishop Kate Bishop Kate Bishop Kate Bishop KATE BISHOP KATE BISHOP KATE BISHOP
KATE BISHOP
KATE BISHOP
KATE BISHOP
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bronx-aro · 8 months ago
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I had a dream last time where i was Welsknight and i was on hermitcraft (not playing the game, the world *was* minecraft).
So i kept trying to help Joe Hills build his montain base with a statue on the outside wich opened up in ik a mountain face. There was this huge dungeon outside too. And i was SO exited to help and do things. But the other hermits kept getting more and more annoyed with me when i just wanted to have fun. At some point everyone was just walking around the builds (mostly still joe's base) and i felt so bad i was just lagging behind, purposefully phasing trough the ground spectator mode style (i was able to do that and flying all along, something that nobody else did but it's not that unusual for me to have some awarness in dreams and therefore more or less lucidly do things). I was hoping to hear them say nice things about me or even apologise so that i could reassure myself i wasnt hated. They didnt.
It all came to an end when we ended up at joe's base again, on a side of the dungeon that was opened up to the air near a river. And an hermit (i am pretty sure it was hypno; he was for sure one of the people that talked then) pointed at another hermit and sayed a small, nice descriptive about them. The hermit he sayed this too (i think it was stress, but i was a bit far because i didnt want to get close. Might have been another girl) started to do the same to someone.
At that point i was laying on the ground in the position i had gotten out of phasing moden and i realised it was only a matter of time before it came to me, or they noticed i was there if they hadnt before. But before i could phase back into the ground the person stress had pointed to had already taken two steps towards me, pointed at me and just said "Vile Friend".
VILE FRIEND.
And then i WOKE UP.
I am messed up right now HOLY SHIT. It took me a while to get myslef back together properly before i would leave my bed. When i saw my shelf with all my hermitcraft cards when getting up i was filled with as much anger and dread as when you look at some merch from a youtubeur that was cancelled. It's fine now but WOW.
ANYWAY hermitblr if someone wants to take that and make it into a hurt/no comfort fanfic feel free because holy shit. Actually no bonus points if you include Helsknight showing up and taking care of Wels while hating on the other hermits.
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kimmkitsuragi · 7 months ago
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i found an old invoice from like 2015 and it says a toaster was 100 liras. kms
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radelenagreco · 1 year ago
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i'm #newtoradblr i've spent so much time these past two weeks scrolling through radfem blogs i knew i had to make an actual radfem side of tumblr blog for my own sanity. the way i "peaked" is kinda funny 3-4 months ago i liked a radfem post without realizing and all of a sudden i had other radfem posts recommended to me by the algorithm and i was so annoyed because i was very anti-terf etc but for a couple days i read through a bunch of radfem blogs and it was actually such a relief to encounter FEMINISM not some watered down version of it but i felt guilty due to 5+ years of conditioning (and also because i had a nonbinary friend sitting right next to me in class as i was doing this) and i also didn't like the prominent use of the word moid? but anyway, 3 months later, i'm not sure why but the mra nature of the trans movement has grown so much more apparent to me i have like three mutuals who are trans men on my other blog and i would find myself rereading the few feminist posts i would reblog/write because these people are literally reblogging shit like "don't think like a terf. men aren't your oppressors, they're your friends/neighbors/brothers/fathers. if you think that any man could harm you you have been fooled by terf rhetoric" like actual morons/meninists. anyway two weeks ago i saw a post made by someone i knew was a radfem on my twitter tl and i don't know why i knew i was ready i went through her blog and through many others and now here i am.
#still dislike the word moid i know it's in response to 4chan people saying shit like femoid but it reads too much like a racist slur for me#to be cool with people saying it#i don't mean it reads like a racist slur towards men i mean it's way too reminiscent of the word negroid#it really made me think people were right about radical feminism being a gateway to being a conservative because...it literally feels#racist to me lmao i don't think i'll ever like it#gonna go follow the few blogs i followed on my main + others now#and i was actually always pretty radical in my feminism i was never what one would call a libfem i just wasn't A RadFem because i was into#the whole trans thing#it's different when you're not on tumblr/not exclusively interacting with trans people on the internet. people taking such an issue with#feminism and claiming that its most basic aspects (men oppress women) are transphobic and terf rhetoric is really only a thing on tumblr#and in those circles it's especially different when you're not talking in english#and i'm pretty sure everyone i follow on twitter supports trans people but the mra nature of trans right activism just has not hit them the#way it has hit tumblr they're still very normal about feminism it's actually so nice to go there and say i hate men with no caveat#the only people who would bother me if they came across my tweets saying that would be: cis men misogynists and people on the far right in#general#crazy that on tumblr it's the most leftist people i'd have to worry about hahaha...#ipost
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rearranging-deck-chairs · 6 months ago
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hang on are cougars like panthers
#'the cougar also known as the panther' SCREAM#dont mind me rewatching carmilla as a side effect of my newfound interest in vampires#you'd think it was renewed interest in vampires but no#i actually have never been all that interested in vampires as their own thing i was just gay#and i dont think carmilla really explored the concept itself#like A* in using the medium. D or whatever in exploring their subject matter#actually tbf their subject matter was lesbianism so. again probably an A. they knew what they wanted and they did it well#idk how letter grades work tbh#also not actually sure how much they got into the vampire thing which is why im rewatching to check#bc i was reading iwtv and i was like damn carmilla left stuff on the table#but i also think a lot went over my head#even just english wise im a little stunned at how much i didnt catch. like i was fluent in 2015 for sure but. you do keep learning words#also carmilla is like a popculture remix and i dont have a lot of popculture knowledge so a lot of that went over my head too#now i have just enough to know that im missing a lot#like theres a line in s1 where laura goes 'im living with a vampire. an honest to lestat vampire' and like. never caught that#bc i didnt know how the fuck that was fhkjghgh#but anyway im watching s2 and laura's like 'vampire seductress here is just crabby bc im not falling for her 17th century idea of game'#and like they keep calling armand Ancient right? but carmilla is not much younger#just the difference in framing is what made me start thinking abt it all#like carmilla is 400smth and laura is aware abt that to joke abt it and probably thinks it's a little hot but then you think abt how they#depict that kinda age with armand like what he says to madeleine. 'how do you go on when everything from your era is gone'#and sure carmilla has that loneliness but DAMN. like fuck. shes been doing this same trick. being like the abigail hobbs to the dean for#centuries? i mean there was that century or idk how long where she was buried alive or whatever. but THAT TOO#like damn fuck!!!!!!!!!! ive been going through the fanfic again this week and like there really isnt much#at least doesnt seem to be much that explores this. unless it's in all the aus bc i filtered those out (and still got them)#also interesting difference is if i remember correctly the hollstein happy ending is that carmilla becomes human#in iwtv of course like every important relationship is between vampires. and every lover turns vampire. and every vampire is a lover#sorta. bc abuse themes and stuff. so the inversion makes sense but wouldnt it have been kinda cool if she turned laura tho#anyway. can you believe they were like 'well shes a cougar thats her job and also her supernatural power' dhfkhjgkh as i said: A*
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dinitride-art · 2 years ago
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Polls.
Not Poles.
Would you believe that I have been learning this language for nearly nineteen years? That it’s what my brain is built on? That I read and write all the time and still can’t spell basic words?
The spelling doesn’t even make any sense. Like there’s two ‘L’s and suddenly that makes it so the ‘o’ sound changes? Like that doesn’t happen with dolls. And I know it’s because those two words were probably taken from two different languages but still, what the fuck? Pole is like that because the ‘e’ on the end affects the vowel, and that’s a rule that makes sense. Sometimes. Most of the time kinda. And like okay, I know that pole is about like the North Pole and stuff that’s like related to the specific use of that term. Science shit. And polls has a different meaning because it’s about polls. But still in my head polls should be pronounced like ‘pauls’. But like slightly different. For whatever reason that may be.
At this point I should just try to learn pieces of like twenty other languages just to try and understand the roots of English to spell things correctly.
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