#just the difference in framing is what made me start thinking abt it all

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

hang on are cougars like panthers

[puppyeared]

i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you

[paarksunghoon]

hai deep honey anon is back!!! today i have hard thoughts 4 u 😇😇 been thinking a lot abt sunghoon n fingering tee bee eich.. like his long, slender fingers fucking into u n hitting that spot deep inside, and when he curls them up u quite literally see stars not to mention all the while he's whispering dirty shit in ur ear like "yeah? my dirty girl likes that? like it when my thumb rubs your swollen little clit while i fuck you with my fingers? they're so much longer and thicker than yours, aren't they baby?" hngnnfjfkdkejsks need him so bad ok bye im done for now but i Will be back 🤓☝🏻 toodles!

love how different this request is from the deep honey spin off 😭

***

Sunghoon wonders if any of your friends know just how filthy you are.

You present yourself as this confident, independent person whose heart is bigger than anything known to man. Your friends love you almost as much as Sunghoon does because you’re somebody they can always count on.

Behind closed doors, though, you relinquish your control.

Your boyfriend loves how malleable you are when nobody else is looking. That strong person he knows you to be is tucked away when he has his hands on you and your resolve crumbles with him. He loves the way you trust him to care for you like this. It’s almost like you love him, or something.

Still, Sunghoon wonders if your friends know just how often you spread your legs for him and how wet you always are. He could touch your thigh and you’re gushing like nobody’s business. Even so, Sunghoon wonders if your friends know how much you love getting stuffed with his fingers.

He’s got you in front of his chest while he props himself up by the bed frame. Sunghoon spreads his legs wide and perches your ankles on the outside to open your body up to him. He’s got his left arm holding your chest until your tits are squished against him while the fingers of his free hand push themselves in and out of you.

Your body coils every time he breathes in your ear. Sunghoon’s lips graze the soft skin and he kisses you every now and then as if to tease you, loving the way your body reacts to him. You try to buck your hips and thrust into the air but his strong hold keeps you trapped between him.

“You always get so wet,” Sunghoon moans in your ear. Your spongy walls feel like heaven to him. “You’re such a slut, baby. Can’t believe you’re letting me touch you like this. What happened to you, hm?”

You clench around his fingers and drop your mouth open as you moan. Sunghoon chuckles and kisses the corner of your mouth, pushing his digits deeper inside of you. “You love my fingers, don’t you?”

“Y-Yes,” you stutter.

“My girl is so dirty…Yeahh. You like it when I rub your little clit too?” His thumb makes direct contact to your aroused bud and he laughs wickedly against your body when you arch your chest towards the ceiling. “Pussy’s so hot and cute. Do you think Heeseung knows how wet your pussy gets?”

“Sunghoon.”

“Do you think Jake knows how easy you are? I come home and you open your legs for me. I don’t even have to ask. Does Jay know how often you touch yourself? Do our friends know how many times I’ve made you cum since we started dating?”

Sunghoon’s finger curls up inside you and he encourages just low lengthy your moans are. He kisses the side of your neck and nips at your skin with his sharp teeth, adding to the pleasurable feeling that blooms in your chest.

“Make me cum,” you beg.

“Don’t worry baby. I’ll take care of you.”

[aihaitahm]

size kink with various

cw: fingering, squirting, reader is afab, dacryphilia, use of master and princess, light degredation, fem masturbation.

a/n: hi!! i moved and still busy because i have to unpack my stuff. also im abt to have work too so hopefully you enjoy this piece:3 ill try to work on reqs too!

your sore clit was aching to be touched by him. its been hours and you were being teased relentlessly. earlier, you were being tortured by his long, thick fingers. going in such a slow, bothersome phase, making you whine and beg. he then removed his fingers and demanded you to play with yourself. he knew what effect the size difference has on you. he notices how even more aroused you get when he has to fit his big dick in your cute tight little pussy or whenever he towers over you and fucks you relentlessly. he knows you cum so easily whenever he manhandles your frame. he knows hes tall and just a giant. even if youre tall he still manages to tower you.

oh? you think he’d give in to your cute little begging? watching you be so silly and be a babble mess since you couldnt cum on your fingers is just so entertaining to him.

“what? your fingers are too small for you to cum? my brat is so pathetic.”

“please… please make me cum. need your fingers and cock please. pleaseplease please!” you cried, rubbing your clit as fingering was clearly not working.

he was loving your little show just for him. as you rubbed faster and faster, you felt a heated pool in your stomach as you know you were about to cum. sadly the show has to end since he’d prefer if he made you cum. he grabbed your wrists and pinned them above you as he nibbled on your neck. he chuckled deeply as he felt you whimper from the loss of friction.

“w-why…! i was so close please make me cum and dont stop please… master~!”

he felt his cock grow harder as you begged in that voice. looking at him with those glassy eyes and flustered expression, he cant deny you any longer. but he stays nibbling on your neck to your chest as he thought your punishmenet has to be a little bit longer. you were struggling under his grip as you were trying to rub onto his knee since you were so desperate to cum. all you could think of is him and how much he could make you release.

“arent you so fucking spoiled hm? you think you deserve to cum you slutty princess?”

“mmm yesyes please please please!”

he inserted his long ass fingers in your pussy while brushing his thumb against your cute clit. going in a faster pace, he could feel you writhe and tighten as you were moaning loudly his name. curses left your breath as you felt him add another finger. eyes rolling back to the sensation as you both felt even more aroused to the sinful sounds that your wet pussy and his long fingers were making. he smirked when your legs start shaking and your back arching as he kept continuing his pace, feeling your juices explode like a fountain.

“c-cumming! ah!! too much too much toomuch! master!”

“oh? but this is just my fingers, are you sure you can handle my cock?”

alhaitham, kaeya, zhongli, dainsleif, cyno, blade, jing yuan ++ your favs <3

[rose-tinted-kalopsia]

THE "after all, you and i... we're the same. true kindred spirits" AND WHAT YOU SAID ABT MANIPULATION? thats fits sooooo well somehow i can see it

DJSJJF I MEAN LIKE. there's a lot that can go into that line!!! i'm probably reading into it more than necessary!!! but it's just really interesting to me that he says it considering they're first meeting in the main story 🤲 and i dunno if it's intentional or not or true or not, but he does nevertheless frame his words (this line and along with the other quotes i mentioned, too!) in a way where mc is the subject— which is a manipulation tactic that... somehow i haven't seen any of the LI's use on her like this as of yet !! so it stuck out to me 🤔

but like. there's two sides to it and i'm going to. analyze his dialogue under the cut,

(1); using "I" statements directs the subject of the conversation to you yourself. it's usually done by starting the sentence with "i". this helps to avoid pointing fingers, especially when touching sensitive topics. it's used when you want to say something without making the other person recede/back away from you or otherwise gets defensive, because they feel blamed/accused for something! it also shows vulnerability, which makes it easier for others to sympathize with you subconsciously!

for example, "i felt upset when we argued about this earlier" is nicer to hear than "you made me feel upset when we argued about this earlier".

similarly zayne's line in snowy serenity— "i need you. i have never denied that." contrasts how mc says things like "you should stay quiet while i'm still pitying you" and "you're better off not talking" even "the person you like may not feel the same way". the first (zayne) conveys more vulnerability, whereas mc's lines convey more harshness—the same way that zayne uses "you" statements when he scolds her!

(2) using "you" statements directs the subject of conversation to the person you're talking to. it usually involves starting the sentence with "you", and it generally gives off a harsh, authoritative tone. it's imperative, usually—it's commonly used for scolding or chastising, and it's difficult to use sometimes because it can come off as very accusatory. HOWEVER. it can also be used to feed on things like empathy and a sense of belongingness. because the subject on the conversation is on them, they feel special, and seen, and understood, sometimes even wanted—it's one way to garner rapport with someone, and you can even get them to talk about themselves this way! and it's normal human nature for humans to want to talk about themselves, which is why it can work!

for example, "but you're here now, and that's what matters the most." is more attuned to your presence being there, while "i'm so glad you're here now, that's what matters the most." is more attuned to what they feel about you being there. there's a difference depending on what vibe you want to convey in the conversation.

or, off the top of my head there's xavier's line "you seem to bring me happiness that sleep can't give" that sounds easier on the ears and is more heart-fluttering than "i feel happier spending the day with you than sleeping", or something along the lines—it's about what you do to him, not about what he feels.

and so in the dialogues we see so far, sylus seems very fond of using "you"-statements... which like.... i think i can only remember zayne using them the first time we meet him in the main story because he scolds mc on her health, or something? 😭

but again considering that they're just meeting, and yet it already seems like he's making a very conscious decision to choose his words in this way....

it's not even in the same scolding way like we see with zayne/mc, nor is it in a gentle way like with xavier's line

it's like it's deliberately played out to spin the narrative that yes, mc is the guest, the star of the show, and she deserves every bit of attention in this moment.

"you went through all that trouble to enter the N109 zone"

(1) places a card of sympathy (whether mocking or not) because the fact is that the N109 zone is difficult to get into and;

(2) regardless of the situation, mc's efforts to get in are recognized, and she is seen for it.

"i must fulfil my duty as your host"

(1) starts of with "i" so it's technically an i-statement, but closes of with a variant of the pronoun "you". mc is not the subject of the sentence, but mc is the object. in a way, she's still the focal point;

(2) the point could be to soothe being "pointed at"/accused by the harshness of the previous you-statement, while not driving away the focus from mc—she's still seen and recognized in this case, enough so to be treated as a guest, and sylus the host.

(3) it's fun to note that this is the second clause of his statement; it's a follow-up to the previous one. he chooses to address her effort first before going on to shift the harshness of his words, and allow her to relax a little by placing responsibility on him as the host instead. because all a guest has to do is sit back and relax.

(4) a bonus bc!! the introduction of power dynamics! which is an interesting point! because! with hosts and guests—the guests might be getting special treatment, but the host still runs the show! sylus is still able to insinuate that he is the one in control right now, that this is his territory.

"after all, you and i... we're the same. true kindred spirits."

(1) starts off with "you" and is therefore a you-statement BUT...

(2) it's formulated to be almost sympathetic. it's a way of saying, "i understand your plight, your struggles," without being outwardly vulnerable about it. so sylus gets to keep his position of power, while simultaneously:

(3) playing into the theme of belongingness. mc is in an area she's not familiar with, yet sylus uses words that give her the sense of belongingness she likely wants to feel somehow—because humans will always want to feel that need.

(4) it's attempting to simulate trust and, again, make her needs feel seen and understood; therefore making it seem as if, on the emotional front (disregarding the conditions we don't actually know about right now), like mc is obligated to agree.

and like. you know. the pattern!!!!!! it fits with a lot of his other dialogue too and like... generally? it feels like a conscious choice from what we see of him im the trailer. and i have genuinely no idea how intentional that's supposed to be, but because of that, there are hints of subtle manipulation in his dialogue that made me so interested in it LMAOFJSJFJSJJF

LIKE IM PROBABLY OVERTHINKING?? bc who are we kidding right? we don't know anything about this guy or what situation they got caught up with

YET... yk... its a fun thing to try and pick apart

because again it's like. if it's true? we get to see how that facade melts away into genuineness when we realize he actually cared for her. which is like. just as fun <3

[toytle]

Hi! I love your art style it's like. Breathtaking. And your hcs on barry are some of my favourites of all time?

What do you think of "The Ballad of Barry Allen by Jim's Big Ego as an analysis of Barry's character?

are you asking or are you telling me 🤨 lol THANK YOU i put all my headcanon power into him <3

for the ballad, i love their song stress, and this isn’t bad at all as far as fansongs go. but there’s a reason i don’t include it in my barry playlist, and it’s ultimately bc it doesn’t fit my narrative haha

the song was made in 2003 and i haven’t read many comics before then, so idk how well it aligns w barry’s characterization prior to flashpoint, but i’m basing my playlist off post-flashpoint, so that’s where a lot of the differences will lie

for starters, the song only includes one half of barry’s relationship to his superspeed, and it’s important to me that a barry interpretation includes both sides of that coin. instead, it’s playing on the idea of the dark side of the hero fantasy, an inherently optimistic genre. which, fair, being a superhero sounds like a nightmare, but that angle is less novel to me when that’s the extent of the analysis (and i’m a little over the whole “i hate being a superhero” storyline in general, personally). the song is basically abt how much it would suck to have superspeed bc the world slows to a crawl and you’re left behind bc no one else can keep up w you. and it’s true, that is a very real setback! especially for someone like barry who’s already prone to self-isolation and time management issues! but what does the song actually have to say abt him as a character?

the thing is, barry isn’t a “i wish i wasn’t a hero” kind of guy. he’s a “could i be so strong [to give up the flash]? or do i love the thrill of these powers too much?” kind of guy. he’s a “knowing what i know now… if i could go back in time… maybe i would’ve been somewhere else the day lightning struck my lab and electrified those chemicals, ready and willing to forfeit a life of dodging deathtraps and battling villains… who am i kidding? there’s no going back. no do-overs. like everyone else, superheroes can only follow the path destiny has laid out for them, whatever lies ahead.” kind of guy. yes, barry is caged by his superspeed, but it would be misleading to not present it first and foremost as the very thing that frees him. it’s a double-edged sword that gives him purpose, and that freedom in obligation is what motivates him to keep going. as a wise man once said, “all you can do is go forward.” (“thanks.” “superman is pretty smart isn’t he.” “hm.”)

i think the real kicker for me was this lyric: “i’ve got time to think about the past… how my life was so exciting before i got this way.” my sincerest apologies to mr. allen, but he does not feel complete to me without his mother’s death or his father’s false imprisonment. this backstory contextualizes everything for me. his life was NOT exciting before his superspeed, it was lonely and full of escapism, either in his sci-fi/comics or his dedication to finding justice. i am of the belief that barry didn’t truly start living until he got his superspeed, over 2 decades of waiting around before he rly understood freedom and what it meant to live for himself. i get what they’re trying to do here, but this is what i mean when i say it feels like the song characterizes barry around the concept of his speed rather than how barry’s speed defines him as a person

ik i can’t expect a 4min song to include every aspect of a character’s timeline/development/nuance (esp before some of that even existed lol), but my issue isn’t that it doesn’t cover enough ground—it’s not bad that they had a theme and stuck by it, i actually love the lyrics from a speedster perspective. my issue is that i don’t think this is a good framing for barry’s character as a whole. for all his regrets and suffering, barry is optimistic to the point of denial. choosing this to be The theme to represent barry just. doesn’t feel like barry to me. it’s more like barry is the placeholder subject as an excuse to sing abt superspeed

if this was somehow less overtly a “BARRY ALLEN FANSONG” and maybe more metaphorical or even non-fandom, then it would be a dif situation and i might have dif opinions. at the end of the day, this has more to do w my pickiness than the quality of the song, and the fact that it even exists is so exciting for me as a barry allen enjoyer first, human second. but if you’re going to call smth a character study, i Will be getting my hopes up

[twinknote]

transgender vent sesh re: misgendering from family. i would very much appreciate thoughts/solidarity/advice from any non-cis moots

so i have a good relationship w my bio dad, i love him a lot and i try to see him fairly regularly. he’s been very supportive of my transition. but the past several times i’ve seen him, he’s misgendered me, and at first i just brushed it off. but tonight it made me start crying and i feel like it affects me a lot more than i’d like to admit.

i can tell that he just doesn’t think about it. and i know it’s largely bc i’m his kid—both of my other parents are also always misgendering me. but also i feel like this is kind of a shit excuse? like my uncle (his brother) and aunt who i’ve been staying with for the past month have been using my pronouns flawlessly and they’ve also both known me my entire life. And they’re both older than any of my parents, too, so the boomer + memory loss excuses don’t track.

ig i don’t need to determine Why this happens. i’m mainly posting abt this bc it just hit me how much it fucks me up emotionally. and then there’s this part of me that goes “Evan you’re being a baby about this. Him using a word to refer to you doesn’t mean anything abt your gender or presentation. It’s not a big deal, you should just be thankful that you have a supportive parent.” and i am Very thankful. and also it just feels like getting stabbed every time it happens and then the knife gets twisted around for hours afterwards as i think about and process it in the back of my mind.

i think it also just made me emotional tonight bc it made me realize that no amount of medical transition or “passing” will make some people gender you correctly? like i have a deep ass voice and facial hair and i specifically chose more masc glasses frames and i wear a binder every time i see him. and it just doesn’t matter. i could go back on T despite wanting to stop just so that i’d pass better and it still wouldn’t matter. i could get top surgery and it still wouldn’t matter. it’s partially a positive bc it’s like. do whatever tf you want, transition based on Your wants and needs. but it’s also depressing and frustrating bc it’s like What’s the fucking point? even though i get gendered in public as a guy 90% of the time and i’ve been out for like 7 years, All of my parents still misgender me. and they’re all “supportive.” it’s hard not to feel like they are intentionally not seeing me.

other relevant thoughts:

he, like my mom, has cancer and i’m kind of terrified of the thought of him never truly seeing me for who i am before he dies/never having a truly genuine relationship w him

it makes me So fucking frustrated with cis ppl. like i get that it can be difficult to use different pronouns and/or a different name for someone you’ve known forever. it requires Effort. you have to Think about it and actively change the way you think about that person. cis ppl will be like “ough i’m So sorry it’s just so hard!!!” and not have put in an ounce of fucking effort. my brother in christ you have not done any of the hard part, you just don’t like being wrong and called out for misgendering/deadnaming. cis ppl will straight up be like “ok i hear you saying that being misgendered/deadnamed is hard. but have you thought abt how hard it is for Me to be called out for misgendering/deadnaming you?”

[octaneink]

Hello Baby Can You Come Over

This is another Harry Lewis one, I think I wrote this after Ring RIng.

It uses the same name for the original character (Aurora) but I think I wrote her to be more of a person rather than the empty husk of the last one (this is moreso due to not having spent enough time developing the story) shes an overworked software engineer. The story was meant to unravel with her slowly learning to let loose, relax and be herself again. I don’t think I had romance at the front of this story when I thought of it, it was more so Aurora developing into herself and finding Harry on the way, if that makes sense?

Original female character x Harry Lewis

Tired bleary eyes behind silver framed rims stared back at her from the mirror. Aurora had just gotten out of the shower, the steam from the hot water fogging up the glass as she stepped out onto the cold tile floor. She quickly got dressed in her favorite tan joggers and a well-worn white crop top, pulling on a brown massive zip-up hoodie that was a size too big and hung in a way that made her look like a child in her father’s clothes. She brushed her fingers through her hair, taming the wild locks into submission with a clip, then slipping on a pair of bright red headphones to hold down any baby hairs that may have escaped, and slipped on her white trainers.

Making her way out of her room, she caught her eye on the full body mirror by door. Aurora barely recognized the reflection staring back at her - she looked like she hadn't slept in days and her clothes were frayed and worn, a far cry from the put-together woman she used to be. The comments her family, friends and co-workers made about her appearance didn’t really sink in until now.

Shaking her head, Aurora grabbed her keys and headed out into the bustling streets of London. She lived in a small, shared apartment on the outskirts of Central London, close enough to the action to be convenient but far enough away to avoid the crowds. As she walked, Aurora thought about her current predicament. She rarely went out anymore, spending most of her time holed up in her flat, working from home and saving her money. The days all blended together, forming a tangled ball of yarn that she couldn't seem to unravel. But today was different - Aurora had recently finished a big project so she took the rest of Friday off from work and she was determined to enjoy it.

Before she left the flat, she turned off her work laptop with the intention of heading out for some unhealthy food. Aurora was thankful that the company she was working for allowed you take off sometime during a workday if you’ve been working a lot. Who knew being one of the three senior developers in a small company would mean that you would have no more free time?

Aurora checked her phone for texts from her friends and started to reply to them methodically. Most were generic ‘How are you’ or ‘How's work going’ texts that she answered quickly. Looking up from her phone to the McDonald's she sighed displeased. There was a long queue leading out to the street. She joined behind a family of four and continued to text her friends. A new notification popped up at the top of her screen, it was a message from her friend Kon:

Are you free now? And will be free for the next three hours or so?

Aurora looked at it, then to the line in front of her that hadn’t moved in the last five minutes and replied:

Yes

Y?

What up?

We are one woman down, can you come down to film?

I’m waiting in line 4 maccies

I will buy you food

I’m not wearing seeing people clothes, I’m in joggers n oversized hoodie

The lads won’t care, some will find it hot I bet you

What lads r u on abt?

My bosses

U want me to be in the same video as ur bosses? U know how sus tht sounds man?

Not everyone is as dirty minded as you Rory

Aurora stared at the screen, then looked up again to the line. A soft ping from her phone made her look at Kon’s message again:

If you get here in the next 20 min, I will buy you sushi

I’ll get all your favourites plus throw in mochi

Aight. Bet. Whats ya addy

Aurora left the queue to flag down a taxi, getting another soft ping. It was the address. She climbed into the back of the taxi and showed him the address, “Can you get me here in under twenty minutes?” Aurora asked the driver.

She nodded, “I can get you there in half the time, honey.” Aurora let out a small yes, sat back and put on the belt. The two ladies talked on the way there, Aurora managed to learn that her driver was named Becca, forty-years old. She had four other siblings, and her eldest brother owned a bakery and café a few blocks from her house and told Aurora to go if she was interested.

Becca pulled up to a two-story bricked building with lots of cars parked outside. Aurora texted Kon she was outside and took out her wallet, “How much?”

“It’ll be fifteen pounds, love.” Aurora took out a twenty and handed it to Becca and started to get out the taxi. “Wait for your change, honey, I owe you five.”

Aurora paused, half her foot out the car and replied “Becca, you got me here in seven minutes. That five is a thank you for letting me get something from my friend. Please, keep it.” Becca smiled and said thank you. Aurora left the car, closed the door, waved once and the walked to what she thought to be the entrance.

She was proven right when the door opened and Kon stepped through, waving at her. “Hey, thanks for coming in such short notice. Really quickly too. And don’t worry, I ordered the sushi already. Figured you’d be hungry. When did you last eat?” they hugged and stepped into the warm studio. Aurora looked around the room seeing lots of women sitting on the sofa, a tall bar, four barstools, a coffee bar and what she thinks are employees like Kon doing their jobs.

“Does coffee two hours ago count?”

“No. Of course not, Rory.”

“Then lunch yesterday.” Kon sighed and dragged us to the coffee station.

“Fuck sake Rory.” He reaches under the coffee station, rummages through something, pulls it out and hands it to Rory. Aurora looked at it, it was a protein bar, she opened it. He then took out the pot with the brewed coffee and placed it inside one of the mugs, handing it to her when he finished, “Is it your job again?” Aurora nodded, stuffing half the bar into her mouth and biting it. She finished chewing, swallowed and drank a gulp of the lukewarm coffee.

“Yea, I’ve been working a lot of overtime the past week. I’ve finally programmed it to be put into production and sent off to the testers. Because I’ve done so much overtime, I can basically take half days for the next two weeks, and they can’t complain about it.”

“You really need to find a new job, Rory. That or stay in this job, but stop letting them push you around so much.” Kon looked like he was going to start ranting, so Aurora interrupted him.

“I know, I know. Trust me, I’ve started looking. I’ve even been to some interviews already. I’ll quit when I definitely get a job that I like.” he looked ready to ask more, but she barrelled on, “Now, tell me what I signed myself up for.”

Kon nodded and led her to the bar, and they pulled out the stools and sat, “So basically it's tinder in real life for a YouTube video.” Aurora choked on the rest of the protein bar, she coughed, took the coffee and drank it, washing down the bar.

“Kon, you gotta tell me these things before, man. I look horrible.”

He rolled his eyes, “Shut up you look fine. Anyways, you need to walk up to those stairs, go stand by the feet, face the camera introduce yourself and where you’re from, and then decide yes or no on the guys depending on what they say to you. At the end of it, you need to tell them why you said no. You’d be the last one up there, so I’m sure you can listen in if it will make you feel less nervous.”

Aurora nodded. “Cool, can I give a reply to what they tell me? Make a little conversation and the like, or just send them off?”

"You can do whatever you want, Rory. Just keep in mind, some of these lads have a girlfriend." he said. Aurora looked at him puzzled, "The fuck they doin this for then?"

Kon shrugged, a small smile playing on his lips. "Content. The fans demand it. Or for the craic, as you say. Take your pick." His phone chimed, and he glanced down at it before looking back up at Aurora. "Sushi's here, I'll grab it, and then we can chat a bit more before I have to head back upstairs. I stepped out to get you, and I can't go back in until the girl up there is finished." Aurora watched as Kon walked out the door to retrieve the sushi. Her mind was filled with doubts about the upcoming shoot. She had always been there for Kon, mostly providing online support because of her busy schedule, and creating websites for him when he asked. She was scared, if she was being honest. Aurora knew that if she wasn't so tired and hungry, she would be quaking in her boots and sprinting out the door. But in her current state, she felt untouchable. Maybe she should have more coffee to wake up a bit more. She didn't want to say something on camera that would make her look foolish. The sound of a paper bag being placed on the table brought her attention back to Kon. "Are you alright there? You seemed deep in thought," Kon asked, concern etched on his face.

She thanked him for the food, pulling it out and laying it in front of them, took one of the chopsticks and passed the other one to him. She waited for him to take it before replying, “I’ll be honest with you Kon, I have slept a total of six hours since Monday.” she looked at him, and she wondered what he saw, if the exhaustion she felt reflected on her face.

“You already know what I will say.” Aurora did, she’s lost count of the amount of times they have had this conversation. Sometimes she thinks that is the reason they don’t meet up in person any more, they would end in uncomfortable silence. She missed their childhood, it seemed easier then. “So I will keep this short, please go home after this Aurora.” He used her full name, he was being serious, “Don’t do anything. Not even housework, just sleep.” Aurora nodded, feeling chided.

“Hand on heart Kon,” she placed her hand on her heart, “I will do just that.” They ate in silence for a beat before she spoke up quietly “Thanks Kon, I mean it honestly. We should catch up soon. Properly this time. How’s tomorrow evening sound?”

Kon hummed and held up a finger, chewing and swallowing the bite of nigiri he was eating, then answering, “I said I would be drinking with the lads and their missus, but I can ask if you can tag along.”

Aurora shook her head “Are you mad? I can’t come uninvited.” Kon rolled his eyes and replied “Don’t be dramatic Rory, I just invited you.” she sputtered trying to come up with a reply when a girl walked down the stairs, Kon stood up, took one more nigiri and said “Alright, see you up there. You got it, Rory.” With one last pat on her shoulder, he walked off and up the stairs. Aurora stared at the stairs where he disappeared, mouth gaped, she had more questions. Closing her mouth, she faces the platter again, unlocks her phone and start up some music again. Hard bass start up, enough to distract her from where she is but still be able to hear if someone called her up.

Swiping on her phone, Aurora continued to eat the sushi while trying to ignore the uncomfortable feeling of being stared at. The next hour or so passed like that, she heard the team beckon the girls upstairs. As more names are called she felt more relaxed, she finished the meal a while ago and cleaned up after herself. Placing all the rubbish in the bag it came in and threw it in a bin provided, she even ate one of the matcha mochi Kon surprisingly bought her. She decided to keep the other in her hoodie pocket to give to Kon after the shoot. It was tradition to split dessert with who ever bought it. Aurora stared blankly at her phone not really paying attention to it, she was more hyper aware of the staircase and the women that were there but have long gone, having left the building after their shot.

“Oi Rory, get up here.” Kon’s voice came from the stairs. Snapping to attention, she took a deep breath, and walked to the stairs. On the way there, she slipped her phone into her pocket, turned down her music and tucked her headphones around her neck, making sure to pull out any hair that was trapped under it. It felt like she blinked, and she was almost on the top of the stairs, she could just about see the mark she was meant to stand on, several people and lots of equipment. “Hello.” she said.

“That’s your Rory?” She tried not to focus on the lads lining up where she would stand along. She especially didn’t want to think of the hush that followed, then murmuring that she couldn’t understand fully due to the blood pumping around her ears.

Aurora fiddled with the rings on her hands as she walked up to the spot on the floor, spotting Kon by one of the cameras adjacent to her. He waved, pointing to the camera closest to him, and mouthed ‘This one’ to her. Aurora let out a small relieved smile, took a calming breath, hoped that her voice didn’t betray how nervous she really felt.

“Hi everyone,” she waved “I’m Aurora, but you can call me Rory, twenty-three, and I live in London.” she then faced the—she counted quickly in her head, ten lads in front of her. “Evening lads, how’s everyone today?”

Someone towards the back piped up, she didn’t really see who it was that said “Fantastic. Thank you for asking, starting to get really hungry though, not gonna lie. Only one other person asked you know. Bit rude.” the man was ignored by the surrounding lads.

Aurora, still fiddling with the rings on her hands smiled at the guy in front of her, he was taller than her, dark skinned, notably wore a white hoodie, and a black bandana. She waited for him to say a pickup line like Kon said but when he opened his mouth and said “I’m KSI.” with his arms spread wide, she was confused. She heard the lads and especially Kon laugh up-roaringly.

“Um,” Aurora pushed up her glasses, “sorry, I thought I was supposed to hear a pickup line.” the man in-front of her stared open-mouthed. A short man pushed his head to the side to peak at her and said “Wait do you not know who he is?” she shook her head and replied “Not a clue, sorry.”

KSI turned to Kon and yelled, “What the fuck man? What did you tell her?” a ginger man with glasses pipped up and said, “Fuck all, apparently.” then he let out a loud infectious laughter that soon everyone was laughing along. Aurora couldn’t help but join in, she had no clue what exactly they found funny, but she was sleep-deprived enough to not care.

“Alright, sorry. Let’s try that again. I’m JJ, twenty seven years old and do you like sleep?” he asked.

“Yes, I do.”

“What a coincidence, I do too.” a wide smirk stretched across his face “We should sleep together.”

Aurora hummed “Lovely line, but no.” she swiped, pointing to the big white glowing sign that said no.

“What why not?” He sounded angry but didn’t look it, walking slowly to the no. “You said you like sleep.”

“I love sleep, I really do. But does it look like I’ve had much of it recently?” She took one hand pointed and pointed to her face, more specifically under her eyes, “I’ve had a total six glorious hours of sleep since Monday.”

He whipped back around shocked, “Damn bitch, get some sleep.”

Aurora can’t imagine how deranged she looks when the noise that came out of her mouth plus the “I’m trying.” she focused on the next man in line, he was shorter than JJ and gave off a boyish smile “Hi I’m Vik, twenty five and, uh I wrote a poem for you. Would you like to hear it?” she nodded. “Roses are red, violets are blue. I’ve got a knife, get in the back of the van.” She laughed, the type you would let out when you are too shocked to do anything else. Looking around the room, she saw that many others were also reacting with shocked laughter. It was clear that the joke had caught everyone by surprise, and they were all struggling to process what they had just heard. An unknown man voiced out “What the fuck Vik?” from the line.

“Uh,” Aurora started, hand raising like she was asking a teacher in school a question, “is there an answer where I won’t get stabbed or trafficked?” the group erupted into fits of giggles and guffaws. Some people doubled over, clutching their sides as they laughed uncontrollably. “I’ll just walk to no for you.” Vik walked over to the no side as he talked.

Aurora looked at the next man in line, the notable thing about him was he was tall and had a beard. “Hi I’m Josh, and I’m twenty eight.” she waved at him “Do you like sharks because I've got a megla-dong.” Booing started up from the surrounding lads, JJ from the side started yelling about not being original. And the ginger man she heard yell at Kon earlier started to yell “Come up with your own fucking joke Zerka.”

She waited for them to calm down before asking him “Do you want to go again or?” she dragged out the ‘r’ and she shook his head and walked to no. “Wow cool.” Another tall boy walked up to her, this time the notable thing about him was his lanky figure and a black bomber jacket.

“I’m Simon, I’m twenty eight and I gotta say the only thing I hate about Spotify is not adding you in this week's hottest single.” Aurora gasped, hand clutched over her heart “Gah that was so cute.” she swiped yes “Go, go, go!” Simon walked off, first to the yes side, a smug smile was sent over to the three over at no.

I focused once again on the guy in front of me, this time the most notable thing of the guy was his durag and a kind smile “Hi I’m Chunks, twenty four and I have to say, if I had a flower for every time I think of you, I could walk in my garden forever.” a gooey smile broke through Aurora’s face “Awww, thank you Chunks.” she pointed to the yes side, and they all celebrated “That’s all of them!” Chunks yelled, while doing a little dance to the yes, “You lot need to get on my level.” Simon was waiting with his hand out, ready for a high five, Chunks raised his hands, and they met in the middle with a loud slap.

“I’m Tobi, I’m twenty seven and I just have one question,” she motioned for him to go on, “apple or orange juice?” The lads started going on again about re-using the same line “Listen lads I’m starving, sorry if I can’t think of original material.”

“Apple.” Aurora answered and asked him “Why?” he didn’t say anything, he just gave her a happy nod and walked to the yes side. She watched perplexed but let him be.

“You just gonna let him go?” it was the ginger man’s turn now, and he didn’t look too happy with her decision of letting him go, she shrugged and said “He took charge and made his own choice. I respect that.” he smirked and started to walk to yes “No,” He stopped, “Tobi at least introduced himself and gave something. You need to try too.”

He rolled his eyes, walked back and said “Names Ethan, I’m twenty five and I’m feeling a little peckish, you got any almonds?” Aurora shook her head, “No? Well how about a date?” Aurora gasped again, “Damn that was one smooth line you know. Yes.” He jogged to the other two and gave them both high-fives. He then faced the people on the no side and threw up, what Aurora assumed to be gang signs and gloated being on the yes.

A really tall man walked up next and said “Hi I’m Harry Pinero, HP, I’m twenty nine.” He pulls his left arm to his chest and pushed back his sleeve, “My watch tells me things about other people and it says you’re not wearing any panties.” he tapped his wrist, notably having no watch, making Aurora laugh “Sorry to say Harry, but it’s wrong I am.” he nodded slowly “Hm, must be fast.” he then pretended to adjust his watch. He then looked up slowly and raised a brow. A slow smile spread on Aurora’s face and she let out a laugh, “Yes, the non existent prop is hilarious.” He laughed, thanked her and walked smugly to the other lads.

Aurora watched amused, only two people were left now, a short man and a blonde man. “Hi I’m Filly, twenty five and I just have to say, eres tan hermosa que me dejas sin palabras.” The lads around him complained about the Spanish, but Aurora replied “Me halagas, gracias, era lindo pero aburrido. ¿Pero qué habrías hecho si no supiera español?” He gasped, a delighted smile stretched across his face “Sí, puedo hablar y entenderlo.”

“¿Cuánto tiempo? ¿Cómo lo aprendiste?”

“Un año, lo aprendí porque estaba aburrido.”

“Pensé que eras español, ya sabes. ¿De dónde eres?”

“No lo soy, soy mixto, filipino y desconocido.”

“Y no creas que pasé por alto esa parte de que fuera aburrido. Me gustaría ver que lo hagas mejor.”

Aurora smirked, mind running trying to think of something good, “Está bien, esperaba escuchar algo así.” She then looked him in the eyes then said “Si fuéramos marcas, yo sería Nike y tú serías McDonald's, porque yo lo haría y tú lo adorarías.“

She could tell he shocked Filly with her pick-up line, his mouth was gape, and he stared at her in surprise. After a beat of silence, he let out a burst of surprised laughter. "I can't believe you just said that." he said, trying to catch his breath after laughing so hard.

“We’re gonna need a translation, lad.” The man behind Filly said, “Don’t worry to the viewers at home though because there will be subtitles.”

“I gave her a cheesy line, she said what I would have done if she didn’t know Spanish, then she said she could do better and said one of the most outrageous shit. I didn’t expect it out of her. I don’t know why Kon wanted us to be nice when she can say shit like that.”

“What did she say?” Ethan asked. Filly turned to me, looked me up and down and gave me a judgemental look that’s obviously fake then said “Go on, say that filthy thing.” Aurora shrugged and said “Ok, I told him if we were brands I'd be Nike, you'd be McDonald's cuz I'd be doing it, and you'd be loving it.”

Laugher rang through the studio, though the man behind Filly spoke up “Ah that’s not too bad.” Aurora nodded, snapped and pointed at him “YES! He’s correct, I could have gone the second route, which was to say are you treasure? Cuz I'd love to hunt you down and share you between my men.” The laughter stopped. There was a shocked silence in the studio. The sound of someone’s breathy laughter echoed through the empty room, breaking the silence. It was like a domino effect, everyone was laughing along as well. Despite the initial shock, the laughter continued to build as they all tried to make sense of the situation. It was a mix of amusement and disbelief, and it felt like the room was buzzing with excitement. As the laughter subsided, she couldn't help but shake her head in amazement. It was unexpected, she didn’t think they would find her joke that funny. 

“Oh, before I forget, it's a yes for you. Gracias por hablar conmigo.” Filly celebrated while walking off to the yes. Something along the lines of finally getting on yes while JJ is on the no.

The blonde man behind Filly stepped up. He looked nervous, “Hi, I’m Harry. I’m twenty seven,” he paused, Aurora could see the internal struggle reflecting on his face. Harry fidgeted with his hands and shifted his weight from one foot to the other, clearly nervous about telling the pick-up line. When he finally spoke, “Are you a bowl of milk? Cuz I'd like to put you on the floor and lap that shit up.” He kept going, his eyes locked on Aurora's as he delivered the line.

Aurora's eyes widened in shock. For a moment, she couldn't believe what she had heard. But then, to her surprise, she found herself laughing. "I can't believe you just said that," she said, still giggling, "but it was actually good." she pointed to the yes, he stared at her in shock. The other people in the studio started to laugh from the sheer surprise that Aurora hadn't been offended by it.

“No to Vik because I am scared to be trafficked,” said man nodded and said, “Fair enough.” Aurora continued, “Josh is a no because he apparently re-used a pick-up line and willingly walked to no. And no to JJ because you rubbed in what I couldn’t have.”

“That’s fair yea.” JJ nodded and the surrounding two agreed.

Aurora zoned out for a bit, standing there as the lads celebrated the end of the video. She started to focus again when she saw Kon walk towards her “Hey, thanks again for this.” she waved one hand to say it's not a bother, and with the other she reached into her pocket and pulled out the mochi, “Don’t worry, it was fun. Got to leave the flat and free food. Here’s your half, by the way.” and placed it into his hand.

“So what will you be up to after this? Can I tempt you with more food?” She shook her head and took out her phone and started to book an Uber to take her back to her flat “Thanks for the offer Kon, but I’m heading back to the flat and just crashing. I’m beat.” he nodded and shrugged, “That’s fair, see you tomorrow then.” Aurora looked at her phone, the Uber won’t get there for another ten minutes, “Is there anything I can do to help before I go? I don’t mind giving a hand.” she offered.

Kon shook his head and waved her off. "No, no, that's okay. We've got it covered. You just go home and get some rest. You need it," he said, grinning. Aurora nodded and rolled her eyes at his jab, she couldn’t help but smile softly, feeling a wave of gratitude wash over her. "Okay, thanks, Kon. I'll see you soon," she said, before turning to walk down the stairs to wait for her Uber.

But before she could take another step, her friend Kon stopped her. "Where are you going?" he asked, sounding confused. Aurora turned to face him, feeling confused at his confusion. "I'm going to wait for my Uber outside. It's on its way, and I don't want to miss it," she replied, her tone as confused as she felt.

Kon's eyes narrowed and he raised a very judgemental brow. "You're going to wait outside? In this cold? Are you mad?" he asked, his voice filled with disbelief. Aurora blinked at him "I'm not crazy, Kon. I don’t want to be in anyone’s way and miss my ride." she said as if it was obvious.

Kon shook his head. "You're being stupid, Aurora. You’re not in anyone’s way. Plus, you're going to freeze out there. Come on, wait downstairs where it's warm," he said, taking her arm and steering her towards the stairs. Aurora followed him without complaint as they walked down the stairs. As she settled onto the couch in the lobby while watching him walk back up to the chaotic top floor, she couldn't help but feel happy with her choice of friend. “Text me when you get back to the flat right.”

“Will do boss.” She called up the stairs. Sitting on the couch made Aurora aware of how exhausted she felt. Her mind felt like a deep fog settled and she was pretty sure she hadn’t blinked until her phone vibrated signalling her Uber has arrived. She walked out of the studio and settled into the backseat of the car, feeling grateful to finally be on her way to the flat.

As the Uber made its way through the city, Aurora found herself drifting in and out of consciousness. She was so tired that she could barely keep her eyes open. She tried to focus on the passing buildings and street signs, but it was all a blur. She felt like she blinked and suddenly the car was pulling up outside her flat.

Aurora thanked the driver and stumbled out of the car to make her way inside her flat. She fumbled with her keys, trying to unlock the door. Finally, she managed to get it open and walked inside. She took off her shoes, slipped her feet into a pair of slippers, and made sure the front door was locked and bolted before walking to her bedroom. She collapsed onto her bed, barely managing to text her friend to let her know she was home before falling into a deep sleep.

------ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Translation (as provided by Google Translate)

You are so beautiful that you leave me speechless. → Eres tan hermosa que me dejas sin palabras. 

That was cute, bit boring but cute. But what happened if I didn't know Spanish? → Eso era lindo, un poco aburrido pero lindo. Pero ¿qué pasaría si no supiera español?

You can speak Spanish? → ¿Puedes hablar Espahish?

Yes, I can speak and understand it. → Sí, puedo hablar y entenderlo.

How long? How did you learn? → ¿Cuánto tiempo? ¿Cómo lo aprendiste?

A year, picked it up because I was bored. → Un año, lo aprendí porque estaba aburrido.

I thought you were Spanish you know. Where are you from? → Pensé que eras español, ya sabes. ¿De dónde eres?

I'm not I'm mixed, Filipina and unkown. → No lo soy, soy mixto, filipino y desconocido.

And don't think I missed that part about it being boring. I'd like to see you do better. → Y no creas que pasé por alto esa parte de que fuera aburrido. Me gustaría ver que lo hagas mejor.

Alright, I was expecting to hear something like this. → Está bien, esperaba escuchar algo así.

If we were brands I'd be Nike, you'd be McDonald's cuz I'd be doing it and you'd be loving it → Si fuéramos marcas, yo sería Nike y tú serías McDonald's, porque yo lo haría y tú lo adorarías

I didn't know how to progress from this. I had originally written something that followed Aurora meeting the full gang in a restaurant the day after, but I have no idea what to do after it, and I just stopped.

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

Thank you for creating this account, you are so brave.

Prefacing: I used to tolerate TS and her music when I was a teen and couldn't really avoid it. Now I'm 25 and I find her abhorrent as a human being.

(I'm not American and where I am from TS was never a Big Hit, unless we're talking 14 year old girls that eventually grow out of liking her. It's not entirely for a good reason, my country's a bit too conservative-brainwashed to like a self-proclained "girl boss" on a gov. level.)

Something that I noticed about that cult-like worship of that frankly boring woman is that most of the interesting shit about her is 1. made up 2. not about her music and I DO NOT understand how this is even considered a singer anymore.

Like, for example. A bunch of liberal queers like her because they take her bland music and fill it with their own meanings. Her lyrics are so soulless and boring and generic you can apply them to anything. You don't have to go listen to staples of quuer music like what drag queens, or queer women, or Black gay men create: because their music is visceral, it speaks onto real lived through opression that not everyone can relate to. But not with fucking TS! She writes the most TYPICAL line and a bunch of people assign some secret gay meaning to it. The amount of times I saw TS added to playlists for queer content is ridiculous. Like she wouldn't be half as popular if her music was regarded as what it is: straight white girl soliloquy.

The shit about her love life? Should not be fucking mentioned in regards to her as an artist. She's SO fucking fake. She will complain that people only see her as some girl who dates all those guys but she's the one fucking monetizing her love story. I'd understand if she didnt TRY TO but she fucking does! She knows she's bland and boring and she relies on people liking gossip enough to listen to her crap.

ok quick note when you said “liberal queers” it should be “queer liberals”. im assuming english isnt your first language so your native tongue has different grammatical rules but in this instance you put “queer” in front of “liberal.” i just don’t want you to be accused of being homophobic or anything so this is a quick note for you

you said you were 25 and everyone who’s been following this blog has been 20+ demographic in particular. i think it must be because we’re old enough to remember her entire journey starting w the 2009 kanye west mtv incident up until this moment. her staunchest swifties on here were born after the fearless release 💀

hmmmm i always wonder what people imply by Taylor Swift being a global superstar. like she’s isn’t popular in the entire continent of Africa but that doesn’t count apparently? and as much as she is popular in south asia, so much news is framed with a western perspective and all westerners think whiteness is default, and this includes taylor swift. i wouldnt be surprised if theyre inflating her popularity abroad as they are here in the states. idk

and so true! she’s known for her controversies and dating drama. even her music is known not for its success but ppl questioning the legitimacy of her grammys she’s received for her music.

also your gaylor hate—i understand. im not straight and i think gaylors were lobotomized by taylor swift’s music like genuinely these bitches have bricks for brains. there are soooooooo many better queer musicians especially musicians of color who write songs of their literal shared experience of queer love, identity, etc. but here they go theorizing that taylor seift and karlie kloss secretly dated 😭 it reminds me of this convo i had with my friend about gay people admiring/looking up to straight and cis people and labelling them as “gay icons.” its so stupid and reductive and continues to marginalize actual queer artists.

also talking abt taylor swift playlists i will never forget when i found spotify’s bad bunny x taylor swift playlist inspired by their photo from the 2023 grammys 💀 it was so dumb

“straight white girl soliloquy” PERIOD ANON! i need to start making a list of what you guys say cause its fkn fire

taylor swift embedded her relationships so deeply into her brand and music that its inseparable from herself. she really does define herself by her partners and her fans do too, which is why they expected this to be a joe alwyn album.

she really is so unoriginal and unremarkable and that’s why her thing WORKS. because to swifties she’s like “another everyday girl like you and me :)” 🙄 whatever. yuck!

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

Hi hello I watched all of carmilla in a weekend when I was 17 because a student teacher who in retrospect I had a bit of a crush on mentioned that she knew one of the actresses. also I am pretty invested in all your recent vampire stuff because I watched iwtv in 2 days last week because your edit intrigued me

oh hiiii 🫶 thank you for indulging me. thats so cool that you watched iwtv! did it live up to the expectation?

i also watched carmilla at 17! or like, 17-19. i found it when s2 had just started and followed it to the end. did something permanent to my brain but i think it was a good thing. on rewatch now im like, i was right to like this. like it's a solid show, it's good. it has its flaws obviously but it's well written, the emotional moments still get me, i can see why i liked it and i still like it now even when it's not anymore, you know, meeting every need that baby gay me didnt even know they had

what it doesnt reaallyy do though - i dont remember if i posted abt this or if i left it in my drafts but - is explore vampirism as a concept. their subject matter is more lesbianism than vampirism. which is great! thats what they wanted to do and they did it and it's very good. but reading interview with the vampire the book rn im realising how much potential vampires have to be metaphors for like so many things and i started wondering like 'wait, did carmilla just not really engage with it or did it all go over my head'. but it just didnt really engage with it all that much. which again is fine bc that wasnt what they were doing. im glad they were more about the lesbianism than the vampirism

but there's this interesting difference in framing, because in iwtv they keep calling armand 'ancient' right? and emphasising how old he is. and he's like 500? and i was like 'wait isnt carmilla like 400?'. she isnt, shes 340, but still, thats getting there, you know? and we know quite a lot about her history, but kind of just the Big Events. when she was turned, the events of the novella, coffin of blood, silas. thats sort of what we know. but none of the long lonely slog of history day to day you know? with armand i feel like we can really feel how much time everything takes. how every one of those years is made up of single days. with carmilla i dont feel that as much. i keep kind of thinking about daniel, when louis calls him a boy in the first episode, saying "im an old man, with all the triggers that come with it"

because carmilla might look 18 (or mid twenties at this point) but she has lived all that time. shes also seen her native land be claimed by like a succession of ruling powers, right? like armand. shes been buried alive, like louis. when lestat is born, shes already 80 years old, shes lived a whole human lifetime, and the entire adult part of it shes been a vampire. shes lived through 1680-1870 being a lure. i compared her to abigail hobbs in some tags on a post, i dont know if youre familiar with hannibal the tv show, but i do also kinda keep thinking about that comparison

if youre not familiar, in the first episode of hannibal the murderer of the week is this guy garrett jacob hobbs who kills and cannibalises girls who resemble his daughter. and later on it turns out she was made to be his lure. like they'd go places and he'd sent her to the victims to make friends and maybe get them back to their home or smth. not sure if they specified all the details. but that's what carmilla did for mother. and in s2 we hear from mattie that while every couple of decades carmilla had to lure victims for the fish god, she also seemed to just enjoy humans between those times, right? like the doctor, gets lonely, gets a new companion. but we've only sort of got mattie's mocking word for it ("dont eat him, hes a poet! or her, shes got such a wonderful voice. or that one, shes just too pretty to ruin"), we don't know exactly from carmilla's point of view what she was doing or why. if mattie's talking about stuff that happened after the blood coffin, 1950-now, then i think it's a fair assumption based on what carmilla says in the s1 sock puppet show that after she'd figured out what the real situation was and what her role in it was, when she'd started trying to save girls from being sacrificed, that she mightve been doing the same trying to save people from becoming mattie's victims. it's probably more likely that she was just trying to find excuses to stop mattie from sucking someone dry rather than actually having like an aesthetic based morality. but it might be a bit of both. im still trying to figure out what her philosophy actually is, like i dont know what existentialism actually means ghkfjghkj but i will

i also found it pretty striking in the movie when shes turning back into a vampire she says like "this was supposed to be done, you know? the blood lust, the self-loathing, the sleeping tied to a chair in my own bedroom". thats what defines her vampirism, wanting blood and hating yourself for it (the third part is a joke/reference to s1 but also i think meaningful for how she sees her relationship with laura when she IS a vampire. little bit of that 'she will reject me for my monstrousness' shining through). and thats what defines vampirism for lots of vampires across the genre obviously, but i dont know, it struck me. we dont get a lot from carmilla's pov, we know a fair amount about her, but the story is always told through laura. we get laura's diaries, but just snippets here and there from carmilla, what shes thinking, how shes feeling

and i love that shes a philosopher. i love that thats how she seems to try and find something to hold onto, in a world that kind of moves around her, having been murdered, kidnapped, turned and groomed to be a lure on the cusp of adulthood, never having been properly loved (the relationship with her father wasnt good she says in s3, and her mortal mother i dont think has ever been mentioned (like laura's)). the only good relationship she seems to have had for the better part of 3 centuries seems to have been mattie, and mattie seems to love being a vampire. i can imagine carmilla just sort of going along with anything mattie wants to do just because shes so desperate for that friendship. not like, against her will necessarily really. but more like, she hasnt even had the space to develop her own will, you know? and philosophy lets you do that. philosophy gives you frameworks to understand the world and to develop your own opinions on it. and by the 21st century she seems to have developed those opinions, she has a sense of her own values, but shes also still stuck in that same situation. shes jaded and cynical in the face of laura's optimism and strong moral code a lot of the time in s1 because she feels probably pretty powerless. like she does what she can to save some girls but at the end of the day shes scared of her mother and she has nowhere else to go really, right?

i like how she grapples with that over the course of the series, in tandem with laura grappling with her black and white morality. she sort of jumps ship from her mother to laura bc theyve fallen in love, but then laura still stuck in her hero thinking refuses to see her monstrous side. not literally bc i think the biological vampirism never seemed to be a problem for laura, but morally. the having murdered. carmilla needs laura to see that and love her while seeing it bc the last girl she loved rejected her for being a vampire.

but you see her kind of swing back and forth in s2. she softens first with laura but then they break up and she leans back hard into the sarcastic cynic defense mechanisms, leans hard into "im a monster, dont expect heroism from me". but thats like, it's sort of learned helplessness i think. it's powerlessness, resignation. bc morally shes not a monster. maybe she doesnt have as strong a drive to help other people as laura does and is a little more selfishly hedonistic in that she just wants to enjoy her/their life, but she doesnt hurt people for fun, she never has. she just sort of didnt have another option for a Really long time. so she pretends she doesnt care. "im a vampire, this is what i do, this is who i am". but clearly from the way she talks about it when she turns back into one, she doesnt enjoy it

and i like how she goes even further in s3, where she starts swinging even more to the heroic side, bc she sees hope. shes like "wow if we kill my mother, i'd be free". theres hope and she becomes like a lot more active. and shes like that at the start of the movie too, a lot happier, a lot more relaxed, and then vampirism is back and bam depression gfhgkjh like shes immediately more gloomy, ashamed of her past and her self, retreats into herself

sorry i just took this as an opportunity to dump all the carmilla thoughts floating in my head on you. you didnt ask fhkghgjh consider this an open invitation to you or anyone else to come talk to me about carmilla

[danothan]

hi i’d like to deconstruct one of the jason todd songs ever (ft. the bipolar jason agenda)

“It's fucking sad that we need a tragedy to occur to gain a fresh perspective in our lives. Nothing happens for a reason, there's no point even pretending, you know the sad truth as well as I.”

jason’s death had no purpose. he wasn’t a hero, he wasn’t a martyr, it was a pointless death in a long line of many. the tragedy of it was that it didn’t have to happen, and that’s why he blames batman for not killing the joker. it wasn’t his dying that he was upset abt, it’s that batman let the joker continue that long line of death

“Oh god, the morning light sun rays bring my paranoia. I can't function unless I'm the only one awake.”

jason works alone, puts himself at a distance. this line frames it less as a choice tho, as if it’s other ppl that are unpredictable factors, as if he’s unable to put his trust in ppl again

“Rancor of our last conversation, that forbidden word you deform to handicap me, then abuse your advantage.”

the forbidden word here is probably “love.” bruce’s problem is that he isn’t much of a talker, he doesn’t express his love in a way that jason needs. the incongruence between his actions and his words “handicaps” jason, puts him at a disadvantage as he reaches out for bruce’s approval. it speaks volumes that the narrator doesn’t say “the forbidden word” either

“Because your eyes are an agent of darkness. There's nothing to fight. It's just a bit of fait accompli.”

going off from that last line, talking to bruce is like talking to a wall. jason sees nothing left in bruce’s eyes; to him, there is no more grief or hope. the “fait accompli” is that bruce has moved on, but even beyond that, it’s jason’s death as a whole. there’s no option left but to accept that everything has changed

“I spend my waking hours haunting my life. I made the one I love start crying tonight, and it felt good. Still there must be a more elegant solution. Lately I'm rotted in the filth of self-offered agonies that really should fill me with shame, but all I have is this manic energy.”

tbh i don’t rly have anything to add here, i just love the death imagery of ghosts and rot, as well as the mania and self-sabotage of it all. very jasoncore

“I lost my page in being the black stamped disciple in your heart collage. Just want to celebrate me. Need to suffer more.”

robin status revoked! he knows he had his flaws, but he was devoted not only to batman but also to bruce. it’s a mix of feeling like he wasn’t enough as well as doing all that he could. at the emotional core of jason’s motives, he wants to be understood and appreciated. his suffering is a fruitless search for closure, smth he puts himself thru bc he thinks he deserves it. he suffers to make up for himself

“Face our puerility. Converts officiate. Divides new stratagems to disembowel our quotidien characters.”

good lord listening to any of montreal song forces you to pull out the dictionary. i Think what this line is saying is that they have to face their pasts to learn and destroy who they know themselves to be, and only then can they move on. jason saying this to bruce doubles as a taunt: “i’m not the kid you remember anymore.”

“I know I'm upside down about you. Your kindness feels like blasphemy or some sick education on the limits of humanity, so I profane the laws of some Victorian garbage.”

jason and batman have the same goals: they want what’s best for gotham. he feels “upside down” abt bruce bc they were in it together as batman and robin, he taught him everything he knew. but the closer the goals, the bigger the differences feel. that’s why it feels especially blasphemous that batman’s no-kill rule is for the sake of humanity. jason views bruce’s sense of justice as smth sick, ineffective, old-school. it’s “victorian garbage.” his so-called mercy is what got jason killed

to be clear, this is all in jason’s pov. i don’t think he’s as spiteful or cruel as this song makes him out to be, but i think it carries the kind of self-deprecation that he Does view himself thru. and the bitterness definitely reflects his emotions, as well as the back-and-forth between his smug call-outs vs desperate attempts at closure/vindication. i would even say they’re one and the same

tldr; jason todd is bipolar, of montreal diagnosed him

[disaster-vampire]

pls talk about the shelf

i was desperately hoping someone would ask me to rant abt it akehdjshd i'm kissing you sweetly on the forehead anon

okay so if anyone sees this out of context: i have a shelf in my bookcase dedicated to hannibal. yes it's kind of like a weird little shrine but leave me alone.

be warned this is going get LONG.

so, it has the obvious: the hannibal books, the tv show box set, the tv show's cookbook, my fancy copies of the divine comedy (they're hardcover with gorgeous sleeves that have art printed on them to match each book), and i also have the iliad and the odissey in there in a single big book that i bought on a whim when out once and then after buying it i found out it also had the original greek alongside the italian translation and i lost my mind. i've never felt such pure joy and i can't even read greek. yet.

as for decorations, as of right now there's a piece of driftwood that is kinda shaped like an L so it stands up on its own and it also kinda resembles an antler.

there's this fuckin box, i don't even remember how i got it, but it's made of bones. it's shaped kinda like a stereotypical treasure chest but it's literally made of bones. the inside is lined with red velvet.

i'm not sure what else to decorate with? i've put in a seashell but it can't even be seen because the shelf has glass doors but the shell is covered by the frame (might move everything to another shelf where the frame is not in the way tbh just so i can decorate with tiny things at the front).

i just moved this whole thing from my other bookcase (i just got this new one today because i have too many books and in my first bookcase the shelves are literally bending with the weight of the books piled up on them) and when it was there i also had a teacup in there along with a lighbox that says "bone saw time! 🖤" but this new shelf feels very elegant and there's also not enough space for the lightbox. i also had a bust of dionysus there but i'm going to move it to my dionysus altar.

i've got an old scalpel somewhere too and i'll try to find a visible spot to put it. i also have 3 tiny japanese plates that were all given to me as gifts and some souvenirs from japan from a friend too but idk if i wanna put japanese stuff in there. like it's fitting but at the same time idk if it's disrespectful or not.

if i had money and more space i'd make this whole thing bigger and get like. a little frame with fly fishing lures like the ones will made in the show and maybe something like some ethically sourced taxidermy. a snake skeleton and a mongoose skull would be really cool. maybe i could print out a little something with lures instead of buying real ones and like. a fake death's head hawkmoth taxidermy. i'd need some of those shadowbox frames and i'd make it so the pictures stand out a bit from the back so it looks like they have shadows. bc like i'm fairly certain real death's head hawkmoths cannot be ethically sourced at this point in time because ever since silence of the lambs came out people have started going insane over them.

i think my grandpa has this framed thing somewhere with sailing knots made with actual ropes in it rather than just pictures. haven't seen it in ages so i'm not sure anymore if it was my grandpa's or someone else's. probably my grandpa since he was in the marines when military service was mandatory in italy but idk maybe i saw it somewhere else. i could print out a small picture with various illustrations of sailing knots.

i also have these cards that my aunt gave me at one point that have prints of a lot of famous paintings with descriptions in the back and i THINK one was the primavera. it was either that or the birth of venus i'll have to check but either way there's at least one botticelli in there. i don't like botticelli much tho so 🤷

i plan at some point to also get physical copies of all the movies but idk when that'll be since i've found a different box set for the tv show with gorgeous covers that i plan to buy as well. also of the ones i currently own i think one of the dvds stopped working bc it got scratched while inside my pc because i was pausing and rewinding/forwarding too much. we'll see i guess.

now for the rest of the books. i have a medical book in there called the abc of the human body. i think the title is kind of hilarious for a hannibal shelf. i just found out today while moving books back and forth from one bookshelf to the other that i actually have two copies of this book and one of them was owned by a doctor that died i think like 15 to 20 years ago. i have a few other medical books that said doctor also owned on the shelf above. he also owned the scalpel i mentioned before.

there's the book skulls by simon winchester, which is a collection of pictures of skulls from one of the biggest skull collections in the world, along with a few inserts on biology if i remember correctly? i originally bought it for art references and i LOVE the cover so i made sure it was facing forward in the shelf.

there's the resurrectionist, which is a sci-fi/fantasy book kind of in a frankenstein-esque vein where the main character is this made up doctor who manages to make some mythological creatures through surgery & digging up dead bodies and i won't spoil it any further. the second half of the book is a whole bunch of medical/biology style illustrations of said creatures, their skeletons, their muscles, how certain parts of their bodies would function (for example i believe it goes into explaining the lungs for both mermaids and harpies). i don't think it quite fits thematically with hannibal but i think it's got The Vibe so i put it in there.

there's a book on saint lucy, who is the patron saint of sight. i have it because i was born with my skull being asymmetrical and the doctors immediately told my family it would likely cause problems with my eyes, and so instead of, you know, starting to take me to eye doctors from a young age, they swore me to saint lucy and left it at that. i'm likely going to go blind on my left eye at some point in my life btw lmao thanks st lucy <3 i do like her though. i like her iconography a lot, she's always portrayed as holding a plate with her eyes on it.

there's damien by hermann hesse, which is one of my all time favourite books. it's written in first person and it starts with emil sinclair's childhood, explaining that he sees the world in a very black and white way, and does so very literally because he speaks of the world of light and the world of darkness, which are kind of meant as good and evil. but then something happens to him that starts blurring the clear line he thought was between the two, which sends him into a moral panic until he meets max demian, who starts to make him see that there's more to both sides. the story as he grows up follows his "corruption" into someone who is neither good nor evil. it has a lot of implied homoeroticism, as it was written i think either in the 20s or the late 1800s so it couldn't be explicit but it is very much there and is expressed mostly through demian's mother. there's also a weird cult thing going on and the ending is a bit ??? and honestly i need to read it again because for such a short book SO much happens that i'm having a hard time summarising it accurately.

the only other books i remember being there rn (it's 1am i'm not turning the lights on again) are dracula, because cannibal/vampire count with a big castle, the butchering art, and les fleurs du mal, plus two other books written in french that i haven’t read yet because my french isn't the best, whose titles i don't remember rn, and one in italian that i've found at a used books stall once but i believe it's from a local author and i've never seen it in a bookstore nor online so there's definitely no english translation of it. i still haven't read this one either and i don't even remember what it's about, it might be a poetry book? not quite sure. but yeah these few ones i haven’t read are there like. on trial. if i read them and find them fitting they'll stay otherwise they go to another shelf. i also haven’t read les fleurs du mal nor the butchering art yet, so the same applies to them. i think that's all of them? i plan to put my art history books and regular history books on the shelf above as well next to the medical books to kind of carry the theme over lol.

i would like to maybe someday get some of the books that we've glimpsed from the bookshelves on the show but this is it for now!

anyway. tysm for asking me about it dear anon. you said but a few words yet they meant the world to me <3

[lesbianyosano]

what do you think bsd is trying to say about war? do you have any other thoughts about political themes present in the story?

oh i have,,, thoughts,, for sure. also these are more loose threads that have been floating around in my head more than a concrete thesis so sorry if they dont make much sense as a whole

one thing i think is crucial to discussing bsd as a political story is to look at which countries' authors asagiri choses to include in the story.

obviously the main cast is japanese, but the other prominent characters come from usa and russia, and if you also take in characters from the light novels or ones, who have been foreshadowed to be important (like agatha), france and the uk come to mind. those are all states with imperialist past/present, and while there are none morally pure countries this specific selection is still pretty intense all things considered. many of the authors included in bsd were also involved politically one way or another (most had been active during the first half of the 20th century, and wrote about war one way or another)

the imperialism isnt really touched upon, unfortunately so, but ( and maybe this is just me being hopeful) i like to think its less about asagiri not seeing it and more about him not wanting to open another sensitive topic in an already complicated work of fiction.

ultimately i'd say bsd is anti-war. that's the most prevailing political theme, and one that has been slowly revealing itself and becoming more prominent the further we go into the story. worth noting is how elements that could've (and maybe should have) been shown as explicitly political avoided this framing in earlier parts of the story (fukuzawa's old profession, kunikida's ideals), but ig there's still time for that. the anti-war sentiment ties back to a lot of the works that the abilities are named after, esp in the agency. no longer human, thou shalt not die, the makioka sisters (tanizaki's light snow) are all prime examples (and kunikida's ability could technically be put under this too depending on how you look at it, since his war journalism is what made him a prominent literary figure). even if some of the authors had some questionable opinion's irl, the parts that asagiri choses to include always come back to the horrors of war.

decay of angels is another thing, given it's named after mishima's last novel, one that he left to his publisher on the same day he started a coup trying to restore the emperor of japan and commited seppuku. there was a theory i saw a while back that said bram wasnt actually a doa member, and the 5th person is yet to be revealed, and it'd be really interesting if we got mishima in bsd but he's still to this day a pretty polarizing figure (understandably so) and im not sure if asagiri would want to take that step, since it'd be a point of no return in terms of explicit politics in the story. and he's been pretty timid with that i mean look at the way he handles police brutality (cops in yokohama being portrayed as incompetent yet ultimately good people, jouno going from prime example of someone knowingly abusing their power to apparently caring abt the innocents, and this is obv a different, more complicated topic so uhh idk maybe ill talk abt it some other time adgsfgagd). idk it just seems like he's afraid to really push the ideas forwards, keeps them palatable to the general public although idk if this is a concious choice or not. im willing to give asagiri the benefit of the doubt bc of how he handles fukuchi though. people hate him bc??? idk he's not a twink and he killed someone ig but personally i adore him, goofy aah guy imo. it'd be easy to write him off as just an autoritarian crazy guy who wants to take control of the world for unspecified "greater good" but the arguments he makes are generally pretty compelling! and not just to readers, we see atsushi questioning the way world works and government's role after listening to fukuchi explain himself. its fukuchi's methods that are questionable not the ultimate goal of state abolition. and we still dont really know what his ultimate reason for doing all this is, just that he claims it's not revenge on fukuzawa, so im curious how this is going to get handled.

and the last thing is the brief anticapitalism theme in the guild arc but again, its like asagiri gave up on it before it became too prominent. fitzgerald is the ultimate capitalist and we see this esp in relation to steinbeck, whose dislikes list finansists in the enligh translation and capitalists in the polish one (no idea what is listed in japanese exactly). but fitzgerald is ultimately sort of redemed, with his (and poe's) wealth treated as a gag rather than a human rights violation

those are all the things that have been ping ponging around in my head and i hope this is in any way at least a little bit understandable. there are some things here that deserve a post of their own but id have to reread at least the last few arcs to talk about them in depth.

[noxiatoxia]

also u gotta stop thinking abt urself like an animal start thinking abt yourself like a different color like your familys blue and youre green thats gonna help a bit i used to think i was a parasite for a bit and that made me REALLY suicidial but thinking im a diff color as in an equal just a different person helps. btw if you start seeing/hearing stuff or get frequent phantom feelings or get panic attacks due to something u think u saw go get ur schizopills

that's actually kind of what I'm doing now!! Because I felt like I didn't belong it was really hard on me, I was like, why do I feel singled out? Is it because I'm not good enough? Is it because I'm too different? It's hard feeling like you don't belong with your own flesh and blood. But taking everything I've felt and experienced since birth and realizing, well, maybe the reason I feel like an outsider is because I literally AM one, I was never meant to be here, but I am anyways...it made me feel a lot better. Because now I know the reason for feeling alienated despite being very loved and included is not because something is "wrong" with me, it is simply because I am different. Not in a bad way, just different, but still loved. So maybe I can't relate to those around me, but that doesn't mean they don't love me y'know? I still would like to find the place I belong one day, but since I presume I am not human, it will happen after I die. So for now, as I've said, I'll be navigating the world like this and have fun in the meantime. The different color thing I think is a wonderful idea for those who feel alienated but don't feel like/haven't come to the conclusion they are inhuman. Or if the idea of being inhuman freaks you out, the color thing I think is a better way to frame it in your head! Personally, to me, realizing I am not spiritually human just felt like a click you know? Like "Ahh it all makes sense now"

Also your last bit is good advice lol. I've been diagnosed with psychosis and I have honestly questioned for a while if I'm schizoaffective as I do suffer from intense paranoia and delusions on occasion. Haven't gotten it checked out because it has not been disruptive to my day-to-day life. But if I - and anyone reading! - feel like I'm in a crisis or distressed I will def get some help. Plus I got awesome friends and family who would likely tell me bluntly if they thought I was in need of serious help. Thank you for the words anon-san!

[imanes]

hi imane! i hope ur doing well <3 i just wanted to ask: what do you do during times of uncertainty? im a uni student abt to go on placement and I've been applying for part-time jobs that's centred around my field but to no avail sadly :/ i wanted to save up at least so i wouldn't stress during placement and everything's so overwhelming.. there are other external factors that's making me feel this way too like a friendship break-up i had few months ago and its affected me quite badly but im starting to pick myself up again. anyways sorry for the rant and i hope ur day is lovely x

hey! just sat down after hours of procrastination to work on my dissertation and i wish i were done already akjdkfgj but it could be worse!! ok it's gonna be long and probs unhelpful but i know that you wanted to vent more than you thought i was holding some solution so I'll just ramble and hope something resonates with you lmao <3

for me uncertainty makes me feel like my life is in shambles, it's hard to cope with things going south and not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but during my yearly flop era in march/april i had a talk with a friend who's much older, wiser, and more experimented, and basically it helped me put things into perspective and learn how to let go. there are only so many things that you can control so i split my different issues into different categories for a more systemic approach to my problems lol: things that i can actually somewhat control (my emotions, my reactions, my efforts, what i can do moving forward to alleviate some of my stress), things that are out of my control (how people misconstrue me, external stressors like shitty coworkers, refusals from jobs i was applying for) and things (and people) that i don't need in my life. learning to let go of things for me internationally infamous control freak was not easy but it was liberating, idk if you're religious so if you aren't the next part isn't going to be helpful lol but i don't think i should be chasing things because i am exactly where i am meant to be, and if i start clutching at the things that aren't meant to be in my life, it's just my ego getting in the way, and i prayed that Allah just lets me find the place that i would fit better in and that He'd take me away from it if i wasn't going to be doing or feeling good there. i guess the non-religious version would just be to trust the process and understand that things in life wax and wane, whether it be job opportunities or relationships. obviously there's like a plethora of other factors like what do i do if i can't pay the bills and stuff? that was how i was thinking just a couple of months ago when my dissertation was not writing itself and nobody was hiring me! but a few weeks have passed and looking back on it i was starting to chase things again and it made me feel like i was stuck in a rut when in fact it's normal for things to take some time to settle down and for opportunities to arrive.

so basically whether you stress about it or not, literally nothing is going to change except the way you frame it in your head. for me i just continued applying and gave interviews my all while also being detached enough to simply trust myself to find the space that i was meant to occupy eventually, and after many many many rejections i finally found something a week ago, but it took a couple of months of steady job application to get there. looking from the other side of the mirror it's easy to say things like "don't get discouraged!" but it is true that if you keep throwing shit at a wall something's going to eventually stick, hence the power of consistency and of never giving up.

i'm glad you're slowly building yourself back up after your friendship break-up, i know how much it can drag you down but again some people are meant to be with you for a season only and at the end of the day with the effect of time making things more bearable and by working on your self-esteem and knowing that you can do things that you set your mind to, whether it is finding a part-time job or picking yourself back up, in a few weeks you're gonna look back on where you were mentally at when you sent me this message and where you'll be then and you'll thing "well i guess things DO pass huh who would've thought!!" lol life is a cycle of stability and unsteadiness, doesn't matter how much you prepare something's always going to go sideways but another truth is that things fall back into place again and you have to have faith in that, in yourself, and maybe in something else like i am w/ my relation to religion if u need extra help. speaking of help if you have a support system, confide in them and let them carry some of that weight for you!! you'd do the same for them so don't feel like you're a burden for needing help when you are facing instability. wishing you the best of luck and i really hope you find a good part-time job before your placement babe

[charmixpower]

Ok honestly any rivusa shipper will enjoy the comics and their stories like as a child (I collected the comics from the debut issue and in the country I live every month they would realise a new issue so I’d buy the winx comics every month) I watched the show but the comics made me genuinely love the characters and their relationship ESPECIALLY rivusa and it’s honestly thanks to the comics they solidified their spot as my otp. I mean rivusa have a whole wiki section on the winx fandom wiki dedicated solely to their comic storyline and honestly it’s so iconic. They just have great moments (like I rmb there was one issue where Musa was panicking to look presentable while she was gonna go meet riven in magix city and once she got off the bus to meet him as he’s waiting at the bus stop there’s a whole frame of them holding each other and staring into each other’s eyes and he calls her beautiful😍😍😍 and in that issue when the girls ask about him there’s a whole frame of her heart eyes with hearts in the bg as she raves to the girls “riven is very sweet and kind when you get on his good side” like PLEASE YOUR HONOUR I LOVE THEM SO MUCH and I distinctly rmb from my childhood this issue where the winx and specialists get stranded on an island back In time and Musa and Brandon are knocked out cold and even tho there’s no dialogue riven is just carrying musa to safety bridal style🥺🥺 (I think this ig acc @/rivusa._ did this thing where they screenshotted the moment he carries her in the animated cartoon and in fate and the in the comics and put all 3 side by side and idk there’s smth so fulfilling and heartwarming knowing riven will always carry musa to safety when she needs it in every version of them😭) so yes if you ever have time please go read the comics it really made me love the winx franchise as a whole even more

I've been slowly reading the comics and I'm obsessed with their s1 interactions, tho I mostly open them to see if I can make thematic edits XD

It really shows how Riven is more interested in school stuff over dating, while Musa is easily swept up by crushes

It's really cute. Riven hears something maybe dangerous and he gives it his full focus and Musa is trying to flirt with him because she doesn't think it's dangerous

They have completely different priorities, which I think is a adorable way to keep them apart lol

Omg!! That must of been so much fun!!!

The comics actually involve the assassin's that Sky's family has been so scared of in the story and I'm really excited to see how it includes other details the show glossed over

The more you talk up the comics the more I want to read them 👀

I think all of the couples have a couple part of their wiki but don't quote me on that, it's the middle of the night and I don't feel like checking

OMGGG NO NO NO NO THATS SO CUTE!!!

Musa definitely worries about her outfits, for no reason tho bc Riven is like 😍 abt her always. I imagine the most ideal response she wants to get is looking so good he forgets words exist for a while

Nfkskskejsjskskwjjw Musa and Riven are the epitome of two mentally ill people dating that are just similar enough that they understand each other without being too similar but so different that their friends are like "what???" Riven definitely stuggles to let people in, but he clearly wants to help people by going to RF and it's just 🥰🥰🥰 he doesn't trust people but he wants to protect them and I love him

OHHHHHH JESTER TOLD ME ABOUT THAT COMIC IT WAS APPARENTLY V GOOD AND IM EVEN MORE EXCITED TO READ IT NOW TNX U

Riven's love language is acts of service and physical affection, change my mind. He would never leave Musa in danger come hell or high water and I love him!!! He's doing his best and it's amazing!!! Musa from her actions in s1 isn't used to having people she can rely on so seeing that Riven will always try to help her gives her the warm fuzzies

I've always had this hc that before Musa and her dad start understanding each other, and her dad is still deathly terrified of Musa going the way of her mother if she joins the industry, Riven offers to help her get an apartment. Like no questions asked. You dad sucks? Let's help you move out. He didn't have a clear picture, Musa's dad is over protective the exact opposite of Riven's and he was projecting just a bit, but Musa was all like 🥰🥹 when he offered

I love them your honor that is all