#(so sometimes it does take a bit to get to your ask or dm

[i-like-forcefem]

I know you call most of your followers "cutie", but directly being called that in the ask I sent makes me feel all shy and nervous >m<

-anon that asked about dming you (🦴)

I call everyone a cutie since everyone’s so cute!

This ask is adorable too :3

[cherrynpink]

don't you love me?

pairing: toxicbsf!seungcheol x f!reader

genre: friend to lovers, toxic relationships (friendships), smut MDNI!!!

warnings: manipulation, toxic cheol, dubcon, gaslighting, controlling n possessive cheol, he isolates oc, scoups tummy mention (nom nom hot), kind of ddlg dynamic? (u can tell i have father issues), power imbalance, princess treatment, drinking, kissing, fingering, oral sex (f!recieving), dom!cheol, overstimulation, corruption kink, a little bit praise a little bit degradation but its barely noticeable, size kink (a little), manhandling, inexperienced oc, dacryphilia, crying, breeding kink, missionary bcs im a romantic sue me, big dick scoups hehe, unprotected sex (do NOT do it dawg), tummy bulge kink, mentions of baby trapping, creampie, lmk if i missed anything!

w.c.: 4.3k

playlist: don't you love me?

for more of my work, check out my masterlist!

note: i need toxic cheol sooo bad no one gets it but thank u @seventeensrat for getting me n proofreading n giving me ur deranged thoughts abt it. want dat gold cross necklace in the pic dangling over my face 😝 i kept making him a sweetheart but then realised no he needs to be an asshole (that i would fuck 100%) n i might make a part 2 of this so lmk...

anywaysss my requests are open if u have something u wanna read or just talk n so are my dms to make new friends here :) feedback is highly appreciated hope u like this one hehehe :3

if u wanna be tagged for pt.2

Currently obsessed with the idea of toxic guy best friend seungcheol.

He is the bestest friend someone could ask for in your opinion. The sweetest, most selfless guy you’ve ever come across. Always drives you around in his g-wagon- hand resting just below the hem of your dress. Bought you a dyson last month; no particular occasion, just because “you talked about it once so I thought you’d like it.” Takes you to try out whatever cute cafes you want to and buys you all the pastries in the world. Calls you his “baby” and his “princess”. Not only pays for your nails but also helps you pick out the design. Carries all your shopping bags without breaking a sweat in one hand, other resting on your lower back so that the guys around you don’t think they have a chance. And of course, he pays for all your clothes with his black card :). Who would he spoil if not you? He sometimes gets into the dressing room with you in the Victoria’s Secret store while you’re changing because “we’re best friends, right?” (with a pout ofc) when you refuse because you’re not sure if this is what friends do, but you give in eventually. Now the fact that he makes you spin around in your pretty little lingerie, strong hands groping your thighs as you say “Isn’t this a little too tight, cheol?”, your hands adjusting the bra all while he’s staring at your tits spilling out of the see through material as he assures you that it’s perfect is something others don’t need to know, right?

Yeah. He’s your best friend. Always takes care of you, cooks for you, makes sure you have all your meals and that you study properly- scolding you when you miss any lectures. Makes sure you don’t drink too much at parties or guys other than him might take advantage of you. Doesn’t let you exchange notes with the guys in your class. Even got into a fight with a guy and almost got suspended because of something he said about you. He scolds you for talking to them, because you don’t know their intentions and all you do is keep your head down and nod, no other choice than to abide him. He does know what’s better for you after all, right? He scolds you only because he loves you! He just knows what’s best for you, and wants to make sure you know he’s the best for you.

All your other friends don’t really speak very highly of him tho :( they just feel like there’s something off about him. No one is ever that nice. That he’s like a guard dog around you and doesn’t let you talk to guys or date, always hovering around you and giving you orders. But you assure them that no!!! he’s your cheol :( he tells you that they’re just jealous of you. They’re jealous of your friendship with him. They envy you. Yes, he can be a bit strict sometimes and act like your dad, but that’s just because he doesn’t want to you to get in trouble! He just wants to protect you :) that’s why he always asks for tons of your pictures before you go out so that he can protect you from the creeps that think of your short dress as an excuse to get their way with you.

When you first became friends with him, you were a bit skeptical when he told you that your boyfriend was cheating on you. But then he said, “Don’t you trust me? Why would I lie to you?” with his signature pout and he was right. If you couldn’t trust him, you couldn’t trust anyone, right? Now it was surprising to you when your boyfriend was the one to break up with you later that day, but all seungcheol said to you while you cried on his shoulder was “He didn’t deserve you, baby.” You don’t need to know that he lied to you boyfriend that you had sex with him when he was out of town. He only lied because he knew you were meant for him. He just wants you for himself, is that so bad? He doesn’t think so, because he takes care of you so well. Makes sure all your needs are met and you have no complaints. You’re his girl after all :)

As soon your (ex) boyfriend broke up with you, seungcheol was quick to ask you to move in with him, because “You need someone to take care of you right now, you can’t live alone doll.” and you couldn’t argue with that logic. And he was so good to you. Didn’t even make you pay rent because why would he. Always was there for you when you wanted to rant about your day, but only while sitting on his lap facing him in just his oversized shirt and panties obviously :) that was a rule. Would come up slyly from behind when you were cooking in your cute little apron, hands resting on your tits because “It’s comforting to me y/n.” and you don’t complain. Whenever you denied him something he would say “Don’t you love me?” eyes furrowed and big arms caging you.  But it was a two-way street, the way you always let him cuddle you after a bad day. How you always brought him something to eat when he had been gaming for hours. How last week you reassured him when he said he would start a diet because he thought he was gaining weight by giving him a small kiss on his cheek, telling him that it was hot for you, that it made him only more reliable in your eyes. It was the small things. But they always counted.

The girls he saw or went out with always complained about umm, the bond you both shared; but he never cared. It did bother you though seeing him bring girls over to your shared apartment, hearing their moans through the thin paper walls :( all while you had your hand shyly tucked between your thighs resisting the urge to imagine yourself in their place, bent over for him. But you never touched yourself. It would be so wrong, thinking about your best friend like that! So you often resorted to grinding against the plushie bear he won for you at the fair as his oversized shirt slipped down your shoulders- quiet whines leaving your throat as you failed to reach your high. Little did you know he was imagining the girl under him to be you every single time. He can’t even count the number of times he’s jerked off to the pictures you send him (at his request obviously). The number of times he’s stared at your panties peeking out whenever your skirt rid up or your cleavage when you bent down.

You do notice that after a few months, he takes up more of your time. Not that you’re complaining!!! You love to spend time with him, but you feel it get to a point. It’s not sudden, rather subtle and painstakingly so slow you don’t even realise what he’s doing until you’re in it too deep (or until he’s in YOU too deep ahem). Whenever you’re getting ready to go out with your friends he always hugs you and somehow always falls sick so that you can’t go out because you have to take care of him. What kind of friend would you be if you left him sick and alone to go out and drink he says. You’re being a little bitchy he says. You don’t love him he says. And tears well up in your eyes, because you love him so much you can’t believe he thinks of you that way. And then there you are in your pretty pink dress, mascara smeared on your cheeks as you’re crying in his embrace while he comforts you. You begin to stop talking to your friends because he says they’re a bad influence on you. But don’t worry! Your cheol is right next to you always :) his clinginess increases ten folds. He is always on you, hands resting on your plush thighs or your waist at all times- neck nuzzled in your hair when you sit on his lap as he games. Brings out his puppy eyes and pout whenever you refuse him. “Don’t you love me?” he says and you would never want him to think that. So you let him do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. He knows what’s best for you, right?

He dreamt of taking you, corrupting you but only bit by bit. It might make you sick if you found out but he wanted to make you cry while he defiled you, moulded you to his liking. Wanted to throw you around because it was just so easy for him. A small part of him thinks you instigate your playfights on purpose to get him to overpower you, manhandle you. He knew you had had a few boyfriends before so imagine his surprise when he found out you had never had an orgasm one night, head buried in his lap drunk and giggled out the confession in shame. You should be thankful he made your boyfriend break up with you, because how fucking incompetent does one have to be.

“What do you mean you’ve never had an orgasm?” he asked, hands running through your hair.

“They just never made me cum.”

“They never ate you out?” he asked in shock.

“Mhm.” You said shaking your head before passing out on his lap.

“God. What fucking assholes.” He thought to himself. He knew he had to be the one to take care of you, after all you’ve been deprived for so long.

Few weeks later and it was your semester end party, loud music all around you, girls passed out drunk, shots being passed around and wild chaos everywhere. And there you see him, across the room talking and laughing with his friends, one hand chugging down beer every now and then. He looked so hot, though dressed in a plain black T-shirt and jeans; the royal oak watch stealing everyone’s attention as he ran his hand through his hair. It was the way he carried himself, his confidence, his carefreeness. And the way he carried you with him, showing you off like a trophy to be desired (not that you minded it a bit). You’re too engrossed in ogling him when you’re pulled out of your entranced state by no one other than Vernon. You remember meeting him on seungcheol’s birthday, recalling him as one of his close friends. You always found him cute, texting him whenever he replied to your stories or sometimes sitting next to him in shared lectures.

“Hi y/n.” He says with a slight smirk, red solo cup in his hand.

“Hi Vernon!”

“Want a drink?” he says, offering you the cup.

“Mhm I’ve already had so much to drink.” You slur through your words. “Cheol will scold me.” You say with a slight pout.

“Coups isn’t attached to your hip tonight?”

“Mhm, we’re not always together!” you giggle, a bit buzzed because of all the drinking.

“Oh? He never lets me talk to you though doll.” He says with a pout, taking a step closer.

“What do you wanna talk to me about?” you say with a smirk (the flirting a courtesy of the alcohol) as your hand rests on his chest barely grazing him.

His hand reaches to grab your waist as he’s just leaning in, his lips just about to touch yours when in the blink of an eye you see a muscular arm pull him off of you with a force, and you hear seungcheol shouting something at vernon that you’re too drunk to comprehend, but you catch a few phrases here and there- “Are you fucking dumb taking advantage of here when she’s drunk?” and “Back off dude you know she’s mine.” You feel his grip tighten on your hand as he leads you through the room, murmuring a “We’re leaving.” as he opens the car door for you.

The entire car ride was pin drop silent. His hand wasn’t even on your thigh tonight like always :( and you could feel he was pissed off- the way his veins bulged with his grip on the steering and his jaw clenched so hard. he would usually let you pick out whatever song you wanted, watching fondly with a smile when you sung along to it; but he wasn’t even talking to you :( you think maybe it’s your fault. He had warned you about guys trying to take advantage of you, but you were just talking to Vernon. He’s his friend, right? but you feel bad for ruining his night :/ he was talking to his friends but then he had to run over to you because you can’t even take care of yourself properly. Maybe he was right when he said that you needed him. Needed him to protect you, be with you, take care of you.

When you get back to your shared apartment, he’s still quiet; not forgetting his manners for a second though- opening all the doors for you and taking off your heels as you lean your weight on him, your hand on his shoulder for support. But it’s too much for you now. Why is he still so mad at you? Tears start welling in your eyes as your voice breaks.

“Are you mad at me?” you ask between sniffles, doing everything in your power to not let that tear drop slide down your cheeks but he notices it. He sees the distress in your eyes. The fear you have of disappointing him. And he loves it. Loves that you crave for his approval. He’s proud that he’s made you into this. But apparently you still need to learn to be disciplined. Then so be it, he'll make you into his obedient little girl. Your brows are still furrowed at the lack of his answer as he stands up and begins to step away from you and that’s all it takes for the dam to break as tears start welling down your face, a shame in your chest because you feel like you’ve let him down.

“Cheollie please! I- I’m sorry!” you say between sniffles, head buried in your hands.

“Yeah? What are you sorry for Y/n? And fuck are you crying for?” he spits out and it only makes you cry more because not only has he never been this mean to you, but also has never called you by your name like this :( always calling you by nicknames.

“I’m sorry for talking to Vernon.” You murmur. “I’m sorry for making you mad.” You say, wiping your tears.

“Made me leave my friends to take care of you y/n, I told you not to talk to anyone without me right? Told you not to drink too much. This is why I always have to take care of you baby, you can’t do it alone.” He says, swatting your hands away and wiping your tears as he presses a soft kiss to your forehead.

“I’m sorry cheol, let me make it up to you? Don’t want you to be angry at me.”

“Yeah? How will you make it up to me baby? I’m not sure I’m ready to forgive you yet, you were so careless.”

“Anything.” You whisper. “Whatever you want I’ll do.” You say in your slightly buzzed state, but he doesn’t care. That’s all the permission he needs as he’s reaching down, arm snaking around your waist as to not give you a chance to back out, gently yet passionately pressing himself against your warm mouth. Your eyes open wide as the realization hits- hands pushing his chest away as he separates himself for a second.

He's just about to lean back in, eyes half lidded full of lust before you say, “Cheol what are you doing?”

“You said you’d do anything I wanted to make it up to me, right?” he says as you give him a hesitant nod facing down.

“But I’m a bit drunk right now.” You say, voice barely a whisper.

“So you lied to me then? When you said that?”

“No! No, I’d never lie to you.” you say as your eyes reach up to meet him on the brink of tears.

“Then let me do whatever I want baby. Let me make you feel good. Don’t you love me?”

Don’t you love me?

Don’t you love me?

Don’t you love me?

Don’t you love me?

It spins in your head like a mantra, before you give into his demands as a sly smirk accompanies him. You see him cup your cheeks in one hand as he’s reaching down to kiss you once again, much more possessively this time as he melted into you- tongue slipping in smoothly, as if he’s going to be the only man from now on allowed to do this (he is). His hands find your waist like they belong there. You gasp as he’s guiding you towards his bedroom, hands roaming all over the body like they’ve never been before. His lips move down your jaw as his fingers toy with the hem of your short dress- finding abode along your inner thighs. You think back to all the days you chanted his name like a prayer when you were just so close, dreaming of his fingers in you instead of your own. But at the same time your hesitation throughout it never leaves you.

He's quick to pick you up, only to throw you on his bed like a ragdoll as he gets on his knees in front you, bunching your dress up to your waist. His hands massage your thighs as he pulls them apart, immensely satisfied by the wet spot forming at your center.

“These the ones I bought you doll?” he asks, eyes still transfixed on your core. You manage to whisper a quiet yes and before you know it, he’s ripping the material off of you quite literally, diving in like a man starved. Your state is hazy because of the alcohol and the sight of him between your eyes as his words reverberate in your head while his fingers aggressively toy with your clit- Don’t you love me? Don’t you trust me? I know what’s best for you. Let me make you feel good. He’s relentless in his efforts, showing you no mercy or sympathy for the fact this the first time someone’s eating you out. Even when you ask him to slow down, to stop. Even when you cry out his name repeatedly. His plump lips suck on your clit sharply as the same hand that adorned the very royal oak watch that got you so hot drives into you, hitting your g-spot again and again.

Tears start to well in your eyes as they wet your cheeks but as seungcheol looks up at you, the only thing he can think of is how much you’ll cry when he fucks you and you feel him fully in your belly. Your moans get louder as you keep begging him to stop, but he knows you’re close. He can feel you clenching on his fingers as you buck up your hips into him. And before you know it, you’re cumming all over his thick digits. But that doesn’t stop him. He doesn’t falter in his movements for even a second, fingers driving into you at the same pace as your orgasm washes over you. Your legs are shaking around his head as he animalistically groans against your clit.

“Cheol! P- please! Can’t…. can’t take more!” you cry out as your hand tightens it's grip on his hair.

“One more baby.” He grunts out. “One more on my tongue.”

He thinks he’s addicted. Addicted to the taste of you. Not only does he make you cum on his tongue once more, but pulls an orgasm out of you just but by playing with your clit. You think you’ve lost track of the amount of times he’s made you cum, but he’s keeping count. One for each time he’s wanted to take you, and trust there are many. But your entire body is quaking and covered in sweat because of the relentless overstimulation. Once he thinks he’s satisfied with the number of times he’s made you cum on his tongue, he finally gets up only to see you almost passed out on the bed, barely holding on. The sheets besides you are wet from your tears but that only makes his pants tighter. You see him lose his shirt and his pants as he stands in front of you in his boxers. His length is strained against the material as if trapped. He strokes himself from over the material before pulling them down as his thick long member hits his stomach and he sees you gulp. It’s cute, he thinks, the way you react to him.

“Scared princess?” he teases you as he locks his gaze with yours, spitting in his hand as he strokes himself- precum leaking out his dark pink tip.

“It won’t fit.” You say hesitantly, but you don’t want to disappoint him either.

“You’re cheol’s good girl right? You’re a big girl, you can take it.” He spits out rather meanly, making you pout. But he’s not showing you any mercy this time. You’ll take whatever he gives you. After all, you wanted to please him, right?

Once again he’s parting your legs as he lines himself up with your already ruined entrance, tapping his tip against your clit, before he hears you say, “Cheollie, you don’t hate me, right?” with eyes on the brink of crying. It’s endearing he thinks, that you’re still afraid of disappointing him, letting him down. He’s taught you sooo well.

“Could never hate you love.” He says, pressing a small kiss to your forehead. “Now let your cheol take care of you okay, like always.” And just like that, he’s pushing into you in one go, giving you no time to adjust as your wet velvet walls wrap around him, your slick covering his entire length. He’s pushing your legs up only to rest them on his broad shoulders as you continue to cry out his name over and over again. He doesn’t falter once as he propels into you, gold cross chain dangling over you, and when he opens his eyes to look down to where you connect, his eyes go wide at the sight of himself in your lower belly. He can see himself in you, literally. And oh, does it turn him on, the way you’re so tiny in front of him, so much so that his big dick bulges in you poor little belly. He taps your cheek lightly as to call you to pay attention to him.

“You see that baby?” he says, running his hand over the bulge in your belly. “See how deep I am in you, fuck! Like you were made for me.”

If that’s how deep he goes in you, what would happen if he came that deep in you he thinks. And that only makes him angle himself into you deeper as he lifts one of his legs. He could fill you up and it won’t even leak out. How would you look carrying his baby? No way you’d ever leave him if he knocked you up right now. You’d look so beautiful, his wife, his pretty little baby mama. The thought of you swelled up gets him closer to his release as his hips begin to falter and his strokes get sloppier- each one becoming a sharp thrust. And just like that, with a loud cry and a particularly sharp push of his hips into you, you’re cumming over his cock for the nth time in the night, completely spent and head blank, as you collapse back on the bed almost passed out at this point. You didn’t ask for his permission to cum, but it’s okay, he’ll discipline you next time :)

You feel him getting closer as well as his moans get louder and thrusts sloppier and you’re about to give out and rest in bliss when the realisation hits you- he’s not wearing a condom.

“Fuck ‘m gonna cum baby, pussy so tight like it was made for me.” He groans.

Your panicked eyes look up to him, “Cheol, please… please don’t cum inside.” You plead.

“No way baby, not pulling out…mhm!” he moans as his pace increases, chasing his release. “Gonna fill you up real good, you trust me right?”

“Mhm…” you sigh hesitantly. “Okay…if you say so.”

“Fuck! Thank you princess, love you so much, yeah? My good girl.” He says between grunts and the slap of his balls against you, as you grunt out a quiet love you too, and with that you feel yourself getting full of him as he fills you up to the brim, still fucking you through it slowly. When he’s done, he doesn’t pull out of you yet- making sure it’s inside you. Your bodies melt against each other as you feel his heavy breathes against your ear. The room smells of sex and sweat as he collapses besides you panting.

“You’re not mad at me anymore, right cheol?” you say, breaking the silence as he’s pressing another small kiss to your lips, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“Hmm, you were a really bad tonight doll. We’ll have to see if you make it up to me after another round.”

It was gonna be a long night. But it’s okay. You would do anything for your cheol :)

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

butterflygirl738 (7)

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, power imbalance, sickness, medical bills, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You love butterflies and your mother, but life isn’t that simple. As life gets complicated, and expensive, you find yourself in need and an unexpected miracle presents itself.

Characters: Steve Rogers (CEO/Sugar Daddy)

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting ‘part 2?’ is not feedback.

Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖

“You were right about the mac and cheese,” you say as you wipe your mouth with a napkin. 

S glances over with a smile. “You liked it?” 

“Sure do,” you tap the side of the plate. “But it’s too much for me. I could save the rest.” 

“Sure,” he gets up and crosses the room. He moves the cover back over your dish. 

“Oh, thank,” you say as you set the used napkin on the tray. You quickly catch a yawn in your hands. “Oof, I’m sorry. Woke up early for the doctor.” You rub your eyes and blink at him. “I’m not very fun company, am I?” 

“You’re... calming,” he says. “All the people I deal with... they’re always performing.” He tilts his head and gives a sardonic look. “It’s been nice to get away.” 

“Must be. Even to somewhere like here,” you swallow another yawn, blinking big until your eyes water. You flick away the moisture. 

“You made it worth it,” he lingers close. “If you’re tired, lay down. I don’t mind.” 

“That’s not fair,” you try not to show how tempting the offer is. “Coming over just to knock out.” 

“Go ahead. I’ve barely used the bed,” he points to the open French doors that lead to the bedroom. “I tend to sleep in intervals.” He clucks. “Buddy calls it strategic napping.” 

“Can’t be very restful,” you say. 

“Guess not but sometimes I don’t have eight hours to spare,” he taps his toe. “Please, go lay down. You look beat.” 

You give a sheepish smile. Why does he care so much? Another thorn digs in. 

“S?” 

“You been caring for your mom. Let me care for you,” he puts his hand on your shoulder and squeezes. He slowly draws away. 

You look down, “twist my arm.” You stand up slowly. “Don’t let me sleep too long. Just an hour or two.” 

“Alright,” he agrees. “I’ll get some work done.” 

You hesitantly move around him. It’s awkward. It’s just another thing you’re taking from him. His bed, his time... Won’t he get tired of that sooner than later? 

You stop and turn back to him. 

“S?” 

“Yeah, sweetheart,” he glances at his phone, his eyes crinkling at what he reads. 

“Can I... give you a hug?” 

He puts his phone on the table and faces you. “You don’t gotta ask.” 

He opens his arms. You slowly unfold yours and step closer. It felt like a good idea but now it’s a bit... tense. You wrap your arms around him and he closes you in his. You shiver at the warmth seeping from him into you. 

“Thank you,” you press your cheek to his chest. “Really, I can’t say it enough.” 

He keeps one arm firmly hooked around you as his other hand rubs your back. The soothing motion makes your skin prickle. He squeezes. 

“No problem, sweetie.” He rocks you slightly. 

You stay like that, too embarrassed and too afraid to break too soon. 

“Alright, I think... I might fall asleep on my feet,” you ease from his hold and his hands brush along the robe as he pulls back. 

“Yeah, go, sleep,” he pivots away. “I gotta answer this before he sends another damn email.” 

He snatches up his phone and turns away. He mutters under his breath. You back up and watch how his shirt tautens across his shoulders. You spin and tiptoe into the bedroom. 

You can worry when you wake up. Right now, you’re just too tired to keep track of all your doubts. 

🦋

You wake with a start. You’re on your stomach, arm beneath the pillow you have your face buried in. Your head is cloudy as you lift it and your lashes stick together before you can pry them apart. You roll over and the sight of the dark window sends you into a panic. 

You kick away the blankets and scramble out of bed. You hurry to the doors, the left one left open just a crack, and you pull it open. S sits at the table, a pair of glasses on as he has a laptop open. You have no time to process the seen as you scurry out. 

“S, it’s late,” you cheep. “Why did you let me sleep so long?” 

He calmly looks up and smooths the creases from his forehead. He pushes his shoulders wide and takes of his glasses. He puts them beside the keyboard of the table. 

“I tried to wake you up,” he says. “You were so tired. I could get you to do more than roll over...” 

His voice trails off as his eyes fall down. You follow his gaze. Shoot. The robe hangs open, exposing your naked legs. You quickly pull it around you, hot from your accusation and accidental flash. 

“Um, I’m sorry to... I didn’t... I...” You sputter. 

“You slept heavy. Probably a bit disorienting waking up here. You’re not used to it,” he shrugs. “I really did try but... seems like you needed the sleep.” 

“Right, I... it was nice but...” 

“You can call your mom. Let her know maybe you got backed up at your new job?” He suggests coolly. He’s a fast thinker. You’re a terrible liar. The type that adds too much detail when a simple explanation will do. 

“Sure, I can let her know I’m gonna be home soon.” You agree and look around. 

You find your phone on the arm of the sofa. You don’t remember leaving it there but you can’t really remember when you last had it. You take it and head for the bedroom. 

“You can always stay. It’s pretty late.” 

“What would I tell her? I’m working overnight?” 

“You’re an adult, aren’t you?” He challenges. 

You flinch. 

“Sure, but... no, I should go home. She needs me.” 

“Uh huh,” he picks his glasses back up and exhales. “Well, now she’s not the only one that does.” 

You blink as your brow crinkles. You turn away before he can catch you chagrined expression. You go into the bedroom and lean on the bed as you dial out. 

Your mom doesn’t pick up. You sniff as the tone for the voicemail beeps. “Hey mom, sorry I didn’t message sooner. I got tied up. Anyway, I’ll be home soon...love you.” 

You hang up and drop your arm. You stare at the window. You don’t remember anything, not even your dreams. Not even him trying to get you up. You’re embarrassed to hink about that. 

You go back out. 

“Um, I’ll need my pants,” you say sheepishly. 

“Hung them up in the bathroom,” he says without looking away from the computer. His posture is tense. 

“Look, I’m sorry if... i wasn’t meaning to accuse you--” 

“I’ve been really honest with you,” he says. “I’d say extremely. Not a lot of people would be so transparent. You know, a guy like me, he’s supposed to have an easy life. Well, it’s not.” 

“I’m... I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t need to be sorry, I just wish you would trust me.” 

You stand in static silence. The guilt ripples over you. Not only has he been honest, he’s been so generous. You think of today and how he so easily promised all of that money. Even after when you showed him the pamphlet, showed him how tedious it would all be. He said yes. 

“I will. I do,” you say at last. “Um, one sec.” 

You cross the room to the bathroom and dip inside. You open the robe and hang it and pull on your pants. You can still feel the residue of rain in them. Oh well. 

You come back out. “I can call a cab. You seem busy.” 

“I’ll drive,” he assures you as he closes the laptop. “Told you, I’m taking care of you. Of everything.” 

“I know. Thank you so much.” You clasp your hands together. “Really, S, I can’t say it enough.” 

He slides his glasses off again and stands up. He puts them in the case behind the computer and snaps it shut. He stretches his arms over him. 

“Come back tomorrow,” he says. “I made us some reservations.” 

“Reservations?” You repeat. “Well, S, I... I’ve been calling in and... if I keep doing that--” 

“Quit.” He looks agitated. “You don’t need those jobs. That’s the deal. I’m gonna cover everything.” 

You nod as your stomach stirs. “Oh.” 

“Oh?” His mouth slants. “It’s what we’ve been talking about. You working all the time, well, I got a lot going on. We’d never get to see each other and I mean, I’ve already missed a lot too.” 

You chew your lip. “I’m sorry. I misunderstood.” 

“It’s new. For both of us. I get it,” he softens his tone and comes closer. “You’re so used to working and doing everything, it’s hard to let go. I’m the same way.” 

“Yeah...” you murmur. “I’m really sorry if I upset you, S."

“You didn’t,” he assures you as he reaches to caress your arm. “You can’t. I just... I get in work mode and the boss face comes out.” He chuckles and slips his hand across your back and angles you toward the door, “let’s get you home. I promise, I’ll try to get more than just a few hours before tomorrow.” 

🦋

You watch the streetlights pass, the glare tinging your eyes, tweaking the fatigue still nestled behind them. You yawn as the car whirs softly. It’s almost peaceful in the empty streets. 

S drives smoothly through the town. He knows it better now. He keeps to the speed limit, taking his time. Or maybe he’s just tired. 

He rolls up to your building and shifts into park. He sighs. “I’ll miss you.” 

You look at him, “really? I feel like I kind of overstayed my welcome.” 

“Trust me, you can’t,” he puts his hand on the back of your seat as he twists in his. “You not having fun?” 

“No, of course, it’s just new and... I guess I’m not used to it yet. The... trying not to worry part.  My mom is still...” you shake your head. “I’m going to stop that.” You look at him. “S, thank you. Really. I did have a good day even if I slept for most of it.” 

“You needed that,” he says as his hand slips onto your shoulder. “You, more than anyone, has every right to be tired.” His thumb rubs you. “Sweetheart, we’re just adjusting to each other and that’s fine.” 

“Sure,” you flutter your fingers in your lap. “Right, just... gotta be patient.” 

“Yeah, patient,” his hand inches closer to your neck. “Sweetheart... can I ask you something?” 

“Okay,” you try not to focus on his touch but your skin is all speckly from it. 

“Can I have a kiss?” 

Your lips part slightly. You close them quickly. You’re surprised but you shouldn’t be. Deep down, you know it’s inevitable. Despite what he says, you have that gnawing certainty in your head. You can’t just keep taking. And it’s going to be more than just a kiss, isn’t it? 

Right now, you can do a kiss. 

“Um,” your cheeks tauten and burn. “S-sure. I can--” 

“Only if you really want to,” he pets your neck with his knuckles. “But I can tell you I really, really want to.” 

You take a breath and undo your seat belt. You’re slow and deliberate in your movement as you angle around in the chair. His hand opens and cradles your jaw, fingers framing your ear. He leans in and you meet him across the space between your sets. 

Your lips meat and his heat floods into you. His fingers curl against your head and he hums. His tongue pokes out gently and you resist. Your chest is somersaulting. 

You part and sit back in the chair. You put your hand to your chest. “I’m sorry, it’s just—been a while.” You look down and cover your mouth. You drop your hand. “Was that... okay?” 

“It was... great,” he rasps. “And uh, been a while for me too.” 

“Really?” You glance at him, face alight with self-consciousness. 

“Oh, sure. Like I said... haven’t been out on the dating scene much. When I’ve tried, well, It’s just not... genuine, you know?” He clucks and pokes his tongue into his cheek. He smiles and looks you in the eye. “That was perfect. I’ll be thinking about it all night.” 

“You will?” 

“Of course,” he winks. “What about you?” 

Your cheeks pinch and you smile. It’s been a long time since you felt anything but anxiety and doom. That was something else. You can’t quite explain what. It just wasn’t as scary as you thought. You need one thing that isn’t utterly terrifying. 

“Yeah, I think...” you look away. “It’s... it was nice.” 

“Good,” he drags his hand down your arm. “Well, have a good night.” 

“You too,” you grab your purse and pull on the door handle. “Oh, what time tomorrow?” 

“Let me know, sweetie, I don’t need you til noon,” he answers. 

“Cool, um, bye.” 

You get out and walk towards the yellow light above the building entrance. You stop to look back. He’s still there. You’re glad. You hate being out this late. 

You enter the apartment quietly. The front room light is on. You put your stuff down and sanitize your hands. You find your mother on the couch, sleeping as she hugs a pillow. 

You hope she wasn’t waiting up for you. All that fuzziness fades. The dull weight settles back into your chest. 

You tiptoe around, careful not to wake her. You know she doesn’t get as much sleep as she should. You retreat to your room and flick on the light. 

You plug in your phone as the battery flashes. As you pull off your shirt, you hear something. A soft whisper. You go to the hamper and peer through the mesh. The butterflies. Two of them have hatches and they’re happily fluttering around inside. 

You smile. A real smile. They’re so beautiful. Black, red, and white. And they’re alive. It was taking so long, you thought they wouldn’t break free. 

You’ll have to find some fruit in the fridge to leave in there for them until you can release them. First, you’re going to take a photo. Everyone will be so excited to see. 

You get a good shot through the top before they try to escape. You’ll have to go down to the cafe to post in the morning. You really can’t wait to show S. 

You sit on your bed and watch the butterflies. It’s a sign, isn’t it? Not everything is dead. It’s not over. Maybe, things are just beginning. 

[bloodyinkandquill]

Illumina and child figure Reader

they never specified so i’m assuming they want child reader sorry if i assumed wrong let me know if i did and ill do a new one!

to keep my theme i don’t put anything before the characters name so this is more accurately father figure illumina but oh well

sorry for my semi hiatus i haven’t had much motivation but im writing to get my mind off of the election and ive got brownies cooling on the counter, we also have a new puppy dm me for pics because she is the cutest thing oh my gods

- Sneaking into Illumina’s temple to steal food from his offerings takes some guts, or you were incredibly stupid, it could be either honestly, seeing as you were a kid probably both honestly

- When Illumina sensed someone not only stealing from his temple but one of his offerings he showed up immediately, pissed if not a little impressed someone had the nerve, then he saw you, a small, very thin, shaking little kid holding a single loaf of bread, normally he’d smite you without a second chance but something stopped him, maybe it was that your horn looked very slightly like his, maybe jealousy of some of his siblings, or maybe he was just tired, but he stopped and didn’t smite you

- He asked what you were doing, stealing from his temple, you said you were starving, you needed something to eat, and the only place nearby was his temple, you were so sorry, he made an odd sound before sighing and saying he’d get you some proper food, something that wasn’t an offering to him, realizing it was an offering you panicked and he said it was whatever, bringing you to his worshippers to make you food

- They were all a bit confused but they did so obediently and you had the best soup you’ve ever had, as you ate he asked you questions about yourself, your name, age, etc, finally he eventually said you could stay in his temple, he’d have his worshippers make sure you were bathed and fed, you were extremely thankful if not a bit confused

- His demeanor remained cold and stern but he did seem a bit more soft towards you, after he left you were given your own room and taken care of, when you saw him next you immediately ran up and gave him a hug, barely even making it up to his waist, seeing you in his follower’s robes, and the way they were too large for you, sparked something unfamiliar in him, a parental instinct

- He was unfamiliar with the feeling, but he’d heard some of his siblings describe it before, and he realized he wanted to protect you, not just have you be cared for by his worshippers, but he wanted to take care do you, so suddenly you were in his home, sort of, you think it’s his home but it looked… weird*

- Illumina isn’t the most expressive or talkative guy but you knew he does care about you, making sure you’re always properly fed and clean, if you ask for something he doesn’t respond but a few hours later you find that thing in or near your room, you always give him a hug when you do, slowly as time went on he’d touch you back during the hugs, a pat on the head, ruffling your hair, and after awhile he’d bend down to your level so he could hug you back properly

- He has some weird bird brain instincts on occasion which is why sometimes you end up sleeping in a big pile of blankets and pillows curled up next to him, he makes cooing sounds contently and you fall asleep not a worry on your mind, safe and warm, though him trying to feed you is something you do not like, at least it isn’t proper baby bird style just spoon feeding instead

- His siblings don’t know about you, okay that’s not entirely true, Ghostwalker has seen you before but doesn’t know the full extent of his brothers care towards you, but besides for him the others have no idea he adopted a mortal, let alone who he met because they stole from him

- Sometimes he disappears for days at a time, if he knows that that’s going to happen he leaves you in the care of his followers, when they first took care of you it was begrudgingly but now that you’re basically his child they treat you with a lot more care and gentleness, you also were given special robes by him so that when they do have to take care of you they know who you are immediately, that is if they don’t see your eyes immediately

- If Illumina blesses or gifts one of his worshippers their eyes go fully white like his, in your case they went a light purple instead, but same principle applies, your pupils disappeared and anyone who looks at your face can tell at the very least you have his blessings, if not that you’re more special then a normal follower who’s received his gift

- Soup is still your favorite food, it reminds you of the day you met him, even if he never admits it knowing that soup is your favorite food and when he sees you eat it it makes something warm spring up in his chest

- He’s not much of a talker, but he enjoys listening to you ramble on about anything and everything, even if not that coherent it’s pure and childish, maybe what you did that day, the story behind a drawing you made, the story you’re currently acting out with your toys, which speaking of are sick, he had almost never interacted which children before you so he basically got you everything, going form a homeless street child to owning basically every toy in existence was a pretty sweet thing

- After a few months he teaches you how to preen him, you’re not amazing at it but you have plenty of time to learn, and your small hands make it so you can be a lot more careful, after you preen him though he immediately starts brushing your hair and straightening your clothes, it’s his way of preening you back, since you don’t have wings (yet) of your own so taking care of your hair and cleaning you up slightly is the closest he can get

- On very rare occasion he returns home with injuries, usually from fights gone too far with Darkheart, or maybe once or twice Venomshank, either way you watch from his doorway as he bandages himself up hissing in pain as he cleans and dresses his wounds, after he finishes you come in with a stuffed animal handing it to him and gently crawl into his lap, it relaxes him and you fall asleep in his nest with him that night, every stuffed animal you give him during those times ends up in his nest, he treasures them, in his own way, when he’s a very stoic guy it’s not obvious but you’ve learned to read him, he also lets himself show more emotion around you, since you are just a child who can’t understand him that well normally

- When you first saw him appear that day in his temple, you thought for sure your life was over, but instead you gained a father, and even if you never said it, you were eternally grateful for all of it, falling asleep curled up next to a deity who was almost twice your height was never your plan, but you were happy it happened

i am stressing over this election but i’m tired now, imma go to bed, ALSO

i made a friend in this community and they offered to help with this blog, idk if it will happen but on occasion they may do a request for me ill say if they do it’s not a guarantee but just letting you all know there’s a chance i might get some help on these here and there

* according to soda illumina kind of has a house ‘it’s weird’ what that means is unclear

[bubbles0bop]

Yuta Okkotsu Relationship Headcanons

My craving for content has led me to this

Under the cut^

Contains: Fluff!, a little bit of suggestive content, Jealousy, implied f!reader, pretty much all fluffy tho

this goes without saying but he's a cuddler- he's not the type to feel emasculated if he was the little spoon or to have you basically cradling him into your chest

you can't tell when you first get into a relationship, but he is the jealous type. he's honestly embarrassed about it so he tries to hide it at first but as you both become more comfortable, he starts to show his attachment more. Any time he catches a guy in your DMs he'll bashfully throw a couple of questions about this mystery guy before requesting you block him.

he will be very clingy for the rest of the day

he is a gift giver and he pays such close attention to the things you like online and suddenly, at the next chance he gets, they'll show up on your nightstand

he'll even do this as he's away on missions, sending you little notes, chocolates, and tokens of his affection so you know you're loved from afar 🩷

dates would be a little bit rare only because he would prefer to sit at home and do domestic activities like baking, cuddling, watching a movie, CUDDLING--

when he does take you out of dates it's usually very caring and a little bit elaborate, like taking you to the museum that you mentioned 6 months ago, or renting out a diner to yourselves (ugh i just love him- )

he's constantly attentive to you, which i think is one of his love languages. He will bring up things that even you forgot you said, "oh baby, here- i bought you this heating pad since you mentioned that your back sometimes hurts after school/work." 😭

don't even get me started about how he would treat you in your period he would feel so bad

when he'll come back from long missions, it usually means that he hasn't slept in days. he'll come to you with a nice warm hug before collapsing on the bed hoping you can cuddle him to a well needed sleep 🫶

he does like to have his personal attention, which means a lot of the time when you go out he'll either ask to go with you or hit you with the "but why can't you stay here and cuddle? 🥺"

god he's adorable. he doesn't mean to keep you away from your friends but he'll just miss you so much

I also get the vibe that he can cook so if you do decide to spend the night in, it'll consist of him treating you to your favorite meal. he'll have his sleeves rolled up while he hovers over the stove, you watching adoringly from the kitchen counter

maybe he'll even finish it off with a sweet treat 🫶

It mentions on the anime that he does have a preference for larger chests but i imagine that, like yuuji, that doesn't really affect his attraction to anyone

also i'm ngl i do kind of imagine him as kind of a closet perv, super touchy, but in a loving way

Note- let me know if you want more headcanons or if you would like other characters!

[truth-and-compassion]

@jesterlovescookies does in fact have a boredom issue

"Hello there! Welcome to the vanilla kingdom!"

Solo blog for @deceit-and-knowledge 's pure vanilla

Blog owned by @jesterlovescookies <- owner is an adult

Shadow milk blog @deceit-and-doubt

Information below

Basic DNI (no homophobes, transphobes, racists, bigots, abelists etc)

DNI if you dislike shadowvanilla

"hello! Um..*reading off a script* ...I am..oh! Haha.. I'm pure vanilla cookie and I'll be your humble rule provider! Rules are quite simple and there's only 10 of them!"

"one! Please don't be rude.. we in the vanilla kingdom pride ourselves in spreading joy and healing!"

2. "...feel free to.. uh .. oh sorry pardon me, I never got to rehearse this.. bluebird would be so disappointed..I'm terrible at improv..feel free to roleplay as your own character, child or adult is fine, we welcome any and all cookies of any shape, size, gender and age! Everyone is welcome. I'll happily care for you!"

3. "my responses are as pure vanilla cookie as possible.. though I apologise if I act out of my usual character, I haven't been myself lately.. um.. new changes..and all haha-"

4. "Oh! Um.. please nothing too inappropriate, I understand you cookies can have a rather..mature sense of humour and that's okay! But keep in mind we do have young ones in this kingdom too.. " <- suggestive asks are allowed just nothing too bad

5. "I am..an angel. I have rather large.. wings though I do tuck them into a cape..they may remind you of an entity called the "avatar of destiny" I am not the avatar.. I do possess similarities however! Interesting.. isn't it.."

6. "This is set in an alternate universe where shadow milk cookie was so broken after my offer of friendship his lonely mind couldn't take it anymore and he came to my castle gates practically begging, albeit lying about the true reason.. to be my friend and now we're boyfriends. Isn't that a sweet love story! I love him so much.. call me obsessed but he never leaves my mind~"

7. "Please be kind and patient if I don't get your message immediately.. I am a king afterall! My dear helper, the blog owner, jester hands me these letters I receive from the bluebirds but he does have a life too outside of being my assistant. I may not even notice a bluebird arrived.. so I'm sorry, I'll reply in due time!" <- blog owner uses he/they pronouns btw you can also interact with me too if you have stuff that characters can't answer lmao ☺️

8. "The reason I have this set up is in case you dears wish to just talk to me and me only! No one else can bother us. That means I can discuss my bluebird without fearing he'll hear and get upset at me haha.. he gets so flustered..its cute but it can be disrupting.."

9. "If you wish you may send an anonymous letter, I'll still answer you with love and warmth! Even if I don't know who my love is going to. If you send me something that prevents you from being anonymous, if I answer I'll just cut your name out~! I don't want disrespect you afterall.. just please inform me! However if you fail to send your letter via bluebird, it's sadly most likely lost forever.. it's rather windy up here..also this bluebird letter service doesn't mean I won't reply to you in other ways, this is just a more one on one thing!" <- aka pv will still reply to asks on @deceit-and-knowledge

10. "This is for other cookies that want to have a proper meeting and conversion, just ask my assistant if that's okay! Both of us are a little bit shy.. he'll need a gentle briefing first and he'll relay it to me! I believe it's a system called "reblogs" but before you send us a message either via the bluebird or a more private conversation..just be kind.." <- it's pretty simple I'm shy as fuck so just ask if it's alright to reblog reply 👉👈 (dms or inbox is alright to ask in (sometimes I'm just not in the mood)

"I believe.. that's it!.. ahem... If there's anything else you wish to know please don't afraid to ask, despite my new appearance I really don't bite!.. oh! Also you may occasionally see my writing and stuff. I'll try to show you..!" <- aka blog owner is a writer and artist :3

"please enjoy your stay!"

[lovetaroandtaemin]

NSFW Alphabet: Nakamoto Yuta

MINORS DNI!!!!!

Warnings: Mention of creampies, marking (in a way), cum play, voyeurism/exhibitionism, cucking, dom/sub dynamics, little bit of brat taming, use of the title "sir," mentions of pegging and anal play, mentions of toys being used but no specifics, slight mommy kink.

A/N: I haven't done an NSFW Alphabet before, so please let me know what you think! If there's a specific idol you'd like to see, feel free to send a request via asks or dms!

List is under the cut.

A - Aftercare

(What they're like after sex)

After sex, he’s one of the sweetest people ever. He does anything you ask and is happy to take care of you however you need. The most important part of aftercare for him is making sure that everyone involved feels safe, loved, and relaxed at the end. One of the ways that he relaxes is making sure that you're taken care of.

B - Boobs or Ass

(Are they a boobs man or an ass man?)

I don’t really think he has a preference. His answer just tends to be whatever he’s thinking about in that moment. If he just finished fucking you from behind, his answer is that he prefers your ass. If he just finished fucking you in a position where he can see your chest, his answer is that he prefers your boobs.

C - Cum

(Anything to do with cum)

I think that he would like when you let him cum on you because it’s just another way of claiming you as his. He isn’t entirely against finishing inside, but something about seeing you covered in cum when you’re done having sex just drives him crazy.

D - Dirty Secret

(Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He sometimes fantasizes about watching you fuck one of the other members of the group. He would never tell you that since he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable, but it’s definitely one of his top fantasies.

E - Experience

(How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

He seems like the type to view sex as a very emotional act, and I don’t think that he’d be into having a lot of casual sex, so I don’t think he’d have a ton of experience in terms of different partners. However, because he views sex as something so intimate and emotional, he gives everything he has in the bedroom. That combined with the fact that he seems like a fast learner makes me think he definitely knows what he’s doing.

F - Favorite Position

(What's their favorite sex position?)

I think his favorite position is definitely doggy style. Every time he gets the opportunity to fuck you from behind he takes it. My best guess as to why would be that it makes him feel more like he’s in control, which he likes in the bedroom.

G - Goofy

(Are they more serious in the moment, or are they more silly, etc)

I think that for the most part, he would be on the more serious side in bed. He has his silly moments for sure, but overall, he takes himself so seriously.

H - Hair

(How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

I honestly doubt that he would be completely clean-shaven, but I know for damn sure that his hair is well-trimmed and honestly kinda nice to look at.

I - Intimacy

(How are they in the moment, romantic aspect)

Let me tell you something. I have never been surer of anything I’ve written on this blog than I am of the fact that you would NEVER feel unloved or unwanted during sex with Yuta. Sure, he tends to get rough sometimes, but I think the main reason for that would be the fact that he gets so lost in the way he feels when he’s with you. He loves you, and he makes damn sure that you know it, no matter what the two of you are doing.

J - Jack Off

(Masturbation headcanon)

Does it at least once every day that he’s away from you. Sometimes he calls you to help, sometimes he just relies on memories of the two of you. Either way, it still doesn’t really satisfy him. The only thing that does is getting to feel you when he comes home.

K - Kink

(One or more of their kinks)

Ok so I considered adding this to my “NCT 127: Dom or Sub and Their Top Kinks” post, but I didn’t because there was other stuff I wanted to include. I think that Yuta really loves being with a bratty sub. Sure, he appreciates a sub that’s well-behaved, but something about somebody that can match his energy and keeps him on his toes really gets him going.

L - Location

(Favorite place to have sex)

Most of the time, I think that he’d prefer having sex in your bed. It’s comfortable, it’s private, and everything that you would typically use during your bedroom activities is easily accessible. When you get extra needy, though? He absolutely LOVES bending you over the arm of your couch and fucking you until you can hardly move. Something about seeing you so desperate and impatient you can’t even wait to get to the bedroom drives him crazy.

M - Motivation

(What turns them on?)

One of his biggest turn-ons is seeing you all needy and desperate, all because of him. He adores knowing that you want him just as bad as he wants you, and I feel like all you would need to do to get him in the mood is bat your eyes and call him “sir.”

N - No

(Something they won't do)

There is no way in hell you could ever convince me that this man would be down for pegging or any kind of anal play where he's on the receiving end. In my brain they just do not go together.

O - Oral

(Preference in giving or recieving, skill, etc.)

I think that he would prefer receiving head, but I also think that he does enjoy giving head. In terms of skill, he definitely knows what he’s doing, but there’s also probably some room for improvement. I also have a strong feeling that he LOVES it when you swallow.

P - Pace

(Are they fast and rough, slow and sensual, etc.)

Honestly, I think that the pace would depend on his mood and how desperate he is. If it’s been a long time since the two of you had sex, or if you’re acting like a brat, he can hardly contain himself. If the two of you are having sex on a special occasion, like a birthday or anniversary, he makes a conscious effort to be as romantic as possible.

Q - Quickie

(Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Oh, this man LOVES a quickie. There have been more instances than he’d care to count where he just had to have you even though you were on a time limit. In a way, it makes the sex more exciting for him. Don’t misinterpret what I’m saying, though. He also loves the times that he gets to just take his time with you.

R - Risk

(Is he down to experiment, does he take risks, etc.)

I think that he’s DEFINITELY down to experiment. He loves trying new things, especially when he learns new things about himself and what he likes in the process. Taking risks is one of the most interesting parts of sex for him, I think.

S - Stamina

(How many rounds can he go for, how long does he last)

It really depends on his energy levels and how much he had to do on a given day. If the two of you are just having a “lazy day” at home, you are not leaving the bed. If he had a long day at work, he might only want one round or not want to have sex at all. When it comes to how long he lasts, I think that would depend on how worked up he is. If you tease him more beforehand or the foreplay goes on for a long time, he might not last as long. He never gives you a reason to complain, though.

T - Toys

(Do they own toys, do they use them, on a partner or on themselves)

I truly think that he would view toys more as an assistant than a competitor. He LOVES using them on you, mostly because of how much you squirm when he does. That being said, I think he would also enjoy it when you used toys on him. I don’t think they’d be used every time the two of you have sex, but I do think that he likes toys.

U - Unfair

(How much they like to tease)

Teasing you is one of his favorite pastimes. He loves watching you go from calm, cool, and collected to desperate and needy just because of him. He thinks it’s cute.

V - Volume

(How loud they are, what sounds they make)

I could go on for a while about this, but I’ll try to keep it brief. This man is VOCAL in the bedroom. Moans, groans, sometimes even screams. It is difficult for Yuta to stay quiet, to say the least.

W - Wild Card

(Random headcanon)

I feel like he wants you to call him “mommy” but is embarrassed about it.

X - X-Ray

(Let's see what's going on in those pants)

Honestly, I don’t think that he’d be huge down there. Don’t get me wrong, he definitely stretches you out, but I don’t think that it would be too big to take. Just right, if that makes sense.

Y - Yearning

(How high is their sex drive?)

Through the fucking roof. I really don’t think I need to say more here.

Z - Zzzzz

(How quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Refuses to let himself sleep until he’s completely sure that you’re ok. Once he knows that you’re ok, though, he falls asleep pretty much instantly.

Thank you so much for reading! I was a bit nervous to post this, honestly. Especially because I haven't really done an NSFW alphabet before. Any feedback on this is appreciated!

If you enjoyed reading, please like and reblog! If you wanna check out my other works, my masterlist is here. If you wanna see what I have in progress, my upcoming works list is here. If none of that catches your attention, or there's something else you wanna see (like another NSFW alphabet with a specific idol!), feel free to send a request via asks or dms!

Thank you again for reading this!

[originalgenshinscenarios]

Variable Barricade crossover!

We're so back!!! Kinda. Who knows? Not me! I've had it almost done for like a month but I just felt so unmotivated it was kinda sad because I still really like working on this 😔

If you want to join the taglist just send an ask or dm me!

Reader here is female and has established background

Cw: Age gap (Reader is 18 and the ladies are ages 20-24) |First chapter| <= Previous chapter (Miko's route)

No matter how much time had passed, you still can't bring yourself to trust the four suitors. You don't feel like any of them are taking you seriously. Turns out, Ayaka has rather interesting connections and they're more than happy to help you out.

But now your problem is dealing with an even more obnoxious group…

Part two: chapter 1- The gang is here.

Waiting around for Ayaka is sometimes the most tiresome time of your day. A lot of students approach you and all that polite smalltalk is just so exhausting. You just managed to get to your classroom, but someone unexpected approached you. It was Kuki Shinobu, you never really talked. But how much you wish that wasn't the case. She seemed so… cool.

"Good morning L/N. I was just told to tell everyone that we don't have a homeroom today" she explained and as you looked at her you wanted to talk to her more.

"Good morning Shinobu, thank you very much for the information" you were pretty happy. Even though it was a pretty basic conversation if you can even call it that.

There was something inside you that wanted to speak with her just for even a little bit longer, but you didn't even know what you'd bring up with her. In the end you stayed silent.

That is until Ayaka showed up.

"Good morning Y/N. How was your weekend?" she had that look that made it clear that she will be a little nosy "You promised to take it more seriously, so how is the suitor situation going for you?" 

"I went on a date" you weren't sure if what you did could even count as a date… but maybe that was enough for Ayaka. You already told her enough about what happened between you and Miko so maybe she won't be mad about you staying in the same spot once again.

"Can I ask who was the lucky lady?" her looking so happy to have you progress made you rather guilty for getting her hopes up.

"Well, all of us watched a movie together, does that count?"

"So I'm guessing you were only spending time with them as a group besides that incident with Miko?" Ayaka sighed as both of you already knew the answer for that "You have no idea how that lack of your romantic spirit worries me…"

"I did spend some time with them separately too, but it's nothing worth mentioning" 

"Alright then, let's do it a little bit differently. Can you tell me how you view your future with them? After all, whoever you choose will end up being your wife so you need to think about it in that way" she pointed out with a hopeful tone.

"I think I can do that" you know that Ayaka isn't the type to push it, but at the same time you just don't want to see her so disappointed.

"Let's start with Miko, what do you think being married to her would be like?"

"Miko hm..? Well, she has her charms. But she only ever sees how someone can entertain her. So I'd be more her jester than her wife" you could definitely see how she'd just mock you in your everyday life, of course she'd also have her good moments… but being married to her would just be a constant humiliation.

"I see, perhaps she wants to help you be more self-aware?…" she tried to play devil's advocate, but you weren't going to accept that.

"Do you truly believe so?" your question made her drop it.

"Let's just move on, what about Ningguang?"

"She seems serious enough… but at the same time I feel like this is just a test to her. Like she wants to prove something to herself… I'm not entirely sure how she'll act like once she does complete her goal" she does seem little competitive about the whole thing. So you wouldn't be surprised to find out that it was all about reaching a goal and not about the "reward".

"When I talked to her she gave me an impression that she's genuinely interested" she wasn't surprised by your skeptical approach by now.

"Well, I disagree" you knew you were stubborn. But you couldn't be too stubborn about something as important as this.

"And Yelan? You mentioned that she's sweet to you" she was really trying to get you to agree on at least one thing.

"That's true but, it doesn't seem like this is care in a romantic sense. It might sound a little weird but she's sort of acting more like a guardian angel?" You couldn't find a different word. While you appreciate her taking your feelings to account you just can't help but think that it's more of a pity thing.

"That still sounds pretty romantic. She's like your knight in shining armor" she tried to lighten up the mood and help you think of it differently.

"It's not what I said" you correct her, even though you know what she was trying to do.

"My apologies, I was just trying to help you see it even just a little bit differently. Then I suppose it's time for me to ask about Eula"

"I can't read her at all. She snaps at me often and I get a feeling that she doesn't even want to be here" but you can't help but wonder just how and when did she meet your grandfather.

"Maybe much like you, she's the type to keep her feelings to herself. She doesn't have to have a reason" 

"Yeah, gaining back status and money sounds about right" now that you thought about it you could definitely see it. She did lose everything and an opportunity like a marriage with you would set her back to a wealthy lifestyle, minus the expectations since as your spouse she wouldn't have to do literally anything.

Ayaka sighed at that "If that's how you see it" she paused for a moment "But I think I have an idea as to what we could do… if you're willing to accept some help"

"What is it?" you're honestly scared to ask… but surely Ayaka wouldn't hide much from you?

"I think it's better if you see for yourself. Let's go to our usual spot after school, okay?" Nevermind. You just have to leave this to your imagination. 

-

All those classes you had to go through were making you quite the wreck. What did Ayaka mean? How much are you going to regret agreeing?

The two of you are sitting in your favorite cafeteria "So… are you going to tell me what are you plotting?"

"I'm not plotting anything, I just asked a friend to help you out" she looked proud to admit that and you decided not to comment.

You waited in silence, each time a girl entered you wondered if she was that friend but turns out that they were strangers.

That is until a girl wearing a facemask came in. Once she looked at Ayaka and then you, she turned around to leave and that's when Ayaka followed after her to stop her.

She had her hair tied in a very specific way, her eyes looked very intimidating but you couldn't shake off the feeling of familiarity when you looked at her.

"I should've known it was about her" the girl rolled her eyes when Ayaka tried to stop her from leaving.

"You promised to lend us our aid, please…" she pleaded.

"Ugh, fine. But don't you dare tell anyone about this" the girl had a very annoyed tone.

"Hello, I assume that you already know me..?" you enter the conversation.

"Y/N don't you recognize her?" 

"There's no point in playing the guessing game" she sighed "I'm Kuki Shinobu"

When she said that, it was almost like just now your brain registered even knowing someone with that name. She looked so… different. 

"Oh- I'm sorry for not recognizing you" apologizing you take a closer look, although she did look completely different you really should've noticed that it was her…

"Don't be, not being recognized is my goal after all" she shrugged.

"Right." now you feel even more like an idiot…

"So, Ayaka, what did you bring me here for?" Shinobu was quick to put everything back on track.

"Oh, I just wanted you to help Y/N with her suitors. You spend so much time on dates and all, I figured you'd be able to give her any advice" 

"I'm not as experienced as you make me out to be. But alright, I'll help out. It's just so you won't tell anyone about my secret though"

"I'm grateful for your help regardless!" you didn't mean to sound so excited about that… but just the idea of getting a new ally/friend is what makes you this way. But that's just a hunch…

"Okay…" she sounded slightly weirded out by your enthusiasm "So, what's the problem exactly?"

"It's a bit tough to explain" you try to gather your thoughts. I mean, there is a lot you could say here. This whole situation is nothing but problems…

"I can already tell you're thinking too hard about this. I get it, it's about marriage after all. But if you don't have any trust in them and you don't plan on doing anything about it… then there's no reason for you- or them- to waste time if what you're looking for is something serious" she paused "Then again, they really must be taking you seriously if they agreed to potentially marry you so quickly" 

Those words were like a trigger… That's it! The main issue (now) is that you don't know if they're thinking of you so seriously! "You're right Shinobu! I need to check just how serious they are about me!"

"That's not what I meant…" Shinobu sighed

"But how do I do that..?" You pause for a second but Shinobu takes that for an opportunity to say something "But what about you? Do YOU take them seriously?"

"Huh..?" You were surprised by the question, of course you did… at least you treated them better than they do you… right?

"She might be onto something" Ayaka looked at you "Think about it, we need a way to both let you see them in different light- while also help you see if they care about you"

"Why do you insist on making this so complicated…" Shinobu looked defeated over how much you were scheming "Alright, before you get any crazy ideas let's settle for this. We'll see how they'd react if someone were to hit on you"

"Hit on me..?" You looked at her.

"Not me. I'm not exactly best at acting something like that out when I don't mean it" she shrugged. 

"I think that's a great idea, of course only if Y/N will be willing to execute it"

The idea of some stranger hitting on you wasn't something you'll agree on so easily "Hold on just a moment!" your protest was loud and clear "If not you… then who?"

"A friend of mine" she doesn't elaborate.

"Are you going to tell me more or..?"

"You'll see when he gets here. So, are you willing to agree to this or not?" A guy will help you out..? So not only a stranger but some guy will hit on you? Then again if he's a friend of Shinobu he might not be so bad…

"Alright. Fine. Let's do it…" 

After that Shinobu got in contact with the mysterious guy. Meanwhile you contacted Thoma so he can prepare some excuse to call them over one by one. He didn't exactly like the idea but at the same time he knew that it'd help you feel more at ease… so he decided to help.

-

The three of you were first waiting for Shinobu's friend before you started contacting the suitors. You didn't have to wait long but as you heard someone call out to her you were quite surprised by the sight.

The dude was very tall and had rather intimidating attire, if not for his friendly smile as he approached you three you probably wouldn't want this guy anywhere near you. He offered his hand for you to shake and said "Hey! Name's Arataki Itto- the one and oni leader of the Arataki gang ready to help out!" he was full of energy… wait did he say gang??

"I'm Y/N, and this is Ayaka" you shook his hand gently.

"Shinobu filled me in and I'll say it right now I don't like the idea of making you uncomfortable. BUT a friend of Shinobu is a friend of the gang and for friends of the gang we move mountains if that's needed! So if I need to act like a jerk, you'll get a 5 star performance!" His loud voice was slowly starting to overwhelm you a little.

You definitely had to ask more about the gang. You can't allow yourself to be associated with a bunch of criminals "Say… about this gang-"

"It's just how he likes to call our friend group" Shinobu cut in before Itto got to respond. As true as it was, it definitely offended him a little on how she put it. However, her being straightforward with it gave you quite the relief.

"How about we start calling them over?" Ayaka changed the topic and that's exactly what you did.

-

First to be called over was Ningguang. When you looked over at Itto his demeanor changed from friendly to one that made you cringe on the spot… but to be honest any man flirting with you would make you feel that way. 

His words just went over your head. Even if your short interaction made it clear that he wasn't a jerk, you couldn't help feeling uncomfortable which almost made him break his character.

But he didn't have any opportunity to slip as Ningguang pulled you away from him, confusing the two of you.

She just walked off, hugging your arm and leading the way “This way, it's more crowded there and we'll lose the guy in no time” she said calmly, she was actually surprised Itto didn't follow after you, but it was just getting rid of the problem altogether. It took you a moment to speak up “Thanks Ningguang… but uhm…” now it was for the awkward part… after being “saved” it was time to explain it “This was a test”

“A test you say?” she raised her eyebrow “Well, how did I do?” by the look on her face, you really couldn't tell what was she thinking of your deception.

“You did… well I suppose” you answer without really thinking about it.

“We're heading back to test the rest, I assume?” she started to lead the way back, with a nod you followed her in silence.

-

Second one that was put to a test was Eula. When you gave Itto the sign, his act was up once again the moment you saw Eula. This time his act was a little bit too convincing or Eula was too pissed to even stop and think… when she walked up to him she didn't hesitate to twist his arm “Can't you see that she isn't interested? Looks like someone has to teach you some manners-”

“Eula wait!” you interrupt “It's all an act!” upon hearing that, she released poor Itto from her grip “Hmpf! Joking about a matter like that is unforgivable” she crossed her arms as she glared at the both of you.

“Sorry!” both you and Itto speak at the same time.

“Why are you apologizing?” Shinobu joins in the conversation after leaving her hiding place with Ayaka and Ninguangg “It was part of the plan”

“Hm? And who are you?” Eula turns to Shinobu “and what are you doing here?” she looks over at one of her rivals.

“I'll handle things from here, call over the next suitor” Shinobu said as she led Eula out back to the hiding place.

-

Now you only need to wait for Miko… who probably is suspicious of something by now. And Itto now knows that he can pretty much expect anything… so he only hopes Miko’s approach will NOT end like Eula’s. 

Upon hearing Itto’s comments she just smirked “Hello, darling” she ignored the big guy “My, my to think I'd catch you flirting, with a man no less” she clicked her tongue “And here I thought we were supposed to take each other seriously” you could feel how fake the hurt in her voice was, but even though you were aware of it… you recognized how it must look to her “Miko- wait…”

“Oh I'm not going anywhere, but we will talk about this later” she smirked “You still have to test Yelan, don't you? Where am I supposed to wait?”

Without talking much about it you showed her the way to the rest.

-

And last was Yelan. Itto didn't notice her as she stood behind him. She gave you a questioning look, almost as if she tried to ask without using the words “Is that guy bothering you” but she was pretty subtle about it compared to other women. But it was pretty obvious that you didn't want someone- a man no less, hitting on you. From the look on her face it was clear that she could tell that something was off about the situation but she finally spoke up “Can I help you with something, sir?” She placed her hand on his shoulder, remembering how his arm got twisted last time, he moved out of the way immediately.

“... Did one of us do something to that poor guy?” She held back a laugh “Either way, I hope you're okay” she was clearly talking to the both of you before she spotted the others and you joined the group.

-

After everything you start all going your way home, but you quickly go to stop Shinobu (, Ayaka and Itto) who moved in the opposite direction “Wait a moment!”

“Do you need something?” 

“I was wondering…” you trail off “would you mind if we… talked more often?”

For a second she didn't reply, her silence was making you nervous on top of the fact that you asked something like that near witnesses. But before your anxiety claimed you she finally responded “Sure, but avoid talking to me in school, alright?”

“huh, why?” The spectator- Itto asked the question for you.

“I just don't like attention. And with someone as popular as you people would start talking before we even know it. So either avoid me completely or only talk to me through text” she explained, she didn't seem thrilled with the aspect of being your friend but that just might be because you can't read her emotions too well due to her mask.

“Sure thing! You won't hear a word from me then” you quickly affirm her and go your way for your driver to pick you up before Thoma gets too worried about your absence.

After you were out of hearing radius Ayaka started a conversation “What do you think of her suitors?”

“I definitely don't want to get on their bad side again…” Itto looked at his hand, remembering Eula's strong grip.

“They seem normal enough… but what I think of them is irrelevant” Shinobu decided to not say anything more, however she didn't say everything that's on her mind.

“I see” Ayaka had a slightly suspicious tone. But she knows that's a conversation for later.

-

Next time you were in school you were still thinking about Shinobu… was she really someone who considered herself your friend? She helped you, sure but if not for Ayaka you don't think she'd give it much consideration if any. Yet you can't help but feel joyous about having another ally. You wanted to talk to her… but you must remember your promise and not be overly clingy. Not like you can even consider looking for her considering you couldn't see her around.

Your phone buzzed suddenly, you look down and see a text from Shinobu “Come to the cafeteria” is all it said. Weren't you supposed to avoid each other? Or better yet, isn't the cafeteria supposed to be closed right now? With those questions in mind you make your way over there and sure enough the doors were open.

“How did you-”

“I said I left something important so they gave me the keys. And that wasn't actually a lie. I didn't want to carry it around so…” she went to retrieve a backpack that was neatly hidden behind the curtains.

“What's inside?”

“A gift, it's a prototype- but… I think you could use something like that”

“A bunny?” You tilt your head as you look at something that looks like a little mascot.

“It's something my family company is developing- we call it Rabi. It might look like a toy but it has plenty of features. Give me your phone so I can install the app” as you waited for it, Shinobu began a bit more detailed explanation “Since you're so anxious about what are your suitors up to, Rabi will basically record whatever you're missing out on”

“Isn't this… kind of wrong? I may not trust them but that doesn't make it okay to invade their privacy”

“It's up to you how or if you'll use it. Besides, you can always just make it record the living room or something”

“Okay but how do I explain… this to everyone?”

“It's a toy from the looks of it. You really don't have to think too hard about this. Just say it's a robot animal and that'll be all they need to know”

“... Why are you even helping me?” You felt dumb for asking so many questions at once but you couldn't help but be curious.

“I do it because I know that otherwise Ayaka won't let me hear the end of it” despite her harsh words her tone didn't match it due to how soft it was. It was clear to you now that you can count on her as a friend. But the whole thing with Rabi… it still feels a bit wrong.

“Do you really think I should-” before you finish the sentence you got cut off.

“Whether you use it is up to you. You can use the functions or just turn it off and put it up in your room as decoration.” she paused “Besides, you're too nice to them. They're pretty much strangers to you so you don't owe them any bit of trust”

“Okay but… how do I use it?”

“It's very beginner friendly” after she saw that the app was done downloading she started to explain some of the basics functions, just in case.

-

Once you came back home with your new companion the suitors looked quite surprised. None of them asked questions though, their silence made you feel awkward so you just told them everything yourself “It's a robot pet okay? I got it as a gift so don't mess around with it!” You cross your arms after placing Rabi on the ground “It's programmed to take walks around the house so don't mind it” without letting them chime in you walked back to your room.

As you sat down on your bed you looked through Rabi’s eyes. The video quality could use some work but at least the sound was good.

“What do you think about our new roommate?” Miko teased “I'm glad it isn't an actual rabbit” she stretched on the couch.

“She really does find new ways to surprise us, doesn't she?” Yelan looked directly at the robot “What do you think? Hidden camera or something?” When she said that you could feel your heart beating faster, there's no way she'd figure it out so soon!

“I rather believe that she trusts us” Ningguang defended you… which made you slightly more guilty about the camera actually being there.

The women didn't speak much more about the new companion, you put your phone away and laid back down.

As you thought back on all recent events you could hear the robot walking just outside your room. Letting it inside you took time to examine it a bit more. It was just… so cute. You couldn't fight the urge to play with it for a moment. 

But your playtime was over as soon as you heard your doors opening, it was Thoma but you didn't feel any less embarrassed about being caught.

“That's an interesting gift…” his warm smile didn't make you feel any less dumb.

“I got it from Shinobu, she was helping me out the other day… and well, this gift is a form of help too”

“Hm? How so?” 

“Well… it records things… I just… can't help but still feel anxious!” Upon your confession, Thoma let out a soft chuckle.

“I'm glad you're looking out for yourself, but trust me- if they done or said something I think you should know- I'd tell you”

“I know, but you really can't be around the house all day. I know you wouldn't keep anything from me”

“Alright, enough about that- I'm more curious about Shinobu anyways. How did you get to know her?”

“Ayaka introduced us”

“I see… we're talking about Kuki Shinobu- right?”

You only nod but you can't help but feel a little suspicious of how his tone slightly shifted as he asked about your new friend.

“She sounds like a nice person, giving you such a thoughtful gift and all…” he trailed off, he didn't know her so of course he tried to bait you into telling him a bit more without him having to ask directly.

“That was very nice of her, although I can't really tell what she's really thinking… I'm glad to have made a new friend”

“Alright, that's all I wanted to ask. I'm sorry for barging in before. I'll leave you to whatever you were up to” he pats Rabi for a moment before leaving, returning your embarrassment from before.

-

As Thoma walked downstairs he started looking for more information about Shinobu. He picked up his phone and made a call.

“Hey there, it's me again… I just wanted to ask for a quick background check if that's okay with you?... Kuki Shinobu, and please make it quick if you can”

Unknown to Thoma, Eula heard every last word. As he turned around he put on his polite face “Is something wrong, Miss Lawrence?”

“The way you're acting, actually. You better stop that before she hates you” she warns him.

“Thanks for the advice but, I'm just doing what a good butler should”

“You sure sound convinced of it” she shot him a judgemental glare, but it didn't phase him in the slightest.

“Calm down now, I'm just looking out for her” as the tension started to rise another voice was heard from a distance “Eula, could you come here for a second?” Miko called for her.

“Go on now, surely you don't want to keep her waiting” Thoma said to Eula who didn't look like she was going to leave… but after a moment however she scoffs and leaves the hall, allowing Thoma to continue his research.

He just didn't want anything to happen to you…

-- TAGLIST

@audre-falrose @frozengenderfluid @watamehorns @bebeluvvv @fandangotales @yumi-genshin-writer

[jax-gun-later]

Jax's Intro!

_ _ _

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ☆ ) Jax !

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ — he / it, he pref ~ masc terms ~ queer.

⠀ ⠀ Unkown Role + Holder 🐰 22 y/o (in-sys, body age is 17)

⠀ ⠀ — sourcetalk, sourcemates & doubles are welcome. Pls int, i wanna bully y'all affectionately <3

_ _ _

BYF !!!

& some facts

_ _

Pro all origins, INCLUDING Willos, I'm annoyed I have to make that clear

AuDHD, Social Anxiety & Dyslexic

due to Dyslexia I mess up a lot of words and/or end up not writing some, sorry not sorry about that & bring it to my attention if something doesn't make sense or if you need an explanation /srs

Tone tags are a highly recommended thing around me, i don't want you or me to take something the wrong way

expect a lot of swearing bc I swear a lot & also a lot of word repetition

this blog won't be super active bc I don't front a lot in my system

I'm a Jax TADC fictive, if it wasn't obvious

I identify with source and will not source separate. fuck off if you're here to force me to separate. Also, all Sourcemates, including doubles or AUs or even OCs and/or RP blogs and fiction kins are absolutely welcome. Just, don't be a weirdo

I will sometimes not use tone tags / forget to use tone tags, if you feel you need clarification please send an ask or reblog my post about it

tw/cw tags may be forgotten, however I will not tag swearing bc I swear a lot and that'll take up way too much time to do so

_ _

DNI !!!

_ _

No DNI, I block freely from @idioticaltxri, I also interact from there mostly, will most likely forget that this side blog exists

_ _

TAGS !!!

_ _

My tag is sound.jax on @idioticaltxri

however, my tags here will be :

jax.rbs or jax-rbs - reblogs

jax.moots or jax-moots - posts about or with moots in it, will often clash with rbs as well

jax.inbox - inbox stuff

jax.talks or jax-talks - just, anytime I talk, you'll be seeing that a lot

jax.IC or jax.ic or Jax-IC : stands for Jax in character. if something is or feels like a thing I'd say in source, it'll be tagged like this.

jax.sas or jax.SAS or jax-SAS : the sas stands for Simply a Simp, posts tagged like this will most likely be me talking about my lovely GF (ribbun is real guys /hj)

jax.RP or jax-RP : this'll be stupid rare, but I may RP as like, a uhm.. Comfort thing? You know, like, RPing as your source bc you miss your source? I hope that makes sense? All RP post will be tagged like this, if it doesn't have this tag it's not RP. This blog isn't about RP and jax-IC has nothing to do with it. If Jax-RP and Jax-IC are in the same posts, they are purely bc it feels like an in character rp thing. If Jax-RP doesn't show up in a post where Jax-IC does, that means it's not RP and just something I said that feels in character.

_ _

Side Notes !!!

_ _

jax-gun-later is a reference to jack guns later aka stealing guns later, also a reference to tadc ep 5 pre-release Jax photos, and a reference to @/jax-me-anything 's (absolutely love that blog) user. it was kinda used as an inspiration for the name

there may or may not be several gun mentions on this blog, all of them are tagged as "tw gun mention", purely stating this as a fact but guns are cool and i will not shut up about them on this blog bc my whole user is themed around guns, and stealing them

you can treat me like my source, however, don't come at me for what i did in source. I'm not fully canon-lenient. fuck off if you're here to harass me over what I did in source. we can joke about it or rp but if you're being any bit hateful or threatening me without being silly or joking or purely lighthearted you will just get bullied <3 /hj

do not send donation asks or @ me in any donation posts, i am so sick and tired of seeing them, especially on the main blog ( @idioticaltxri), i can't help you. you will not get an answer, your asks will be deleted, your @ will be ignored if you do this. i don't care if you're a scam, a bot or a real person, i can't help. i will block you.

don't dm me abt nsfw things or tag me or send asks with nsfw. i am tired of seeing random people coming in our dms like "oh i saw you liked this one Hypersexual thing on the main blog, so i will spew out fucking nsfw things to you, this fucking minor i just found on the internet and ask very personal questions about it." this is a genuine thing that happened on the main, me and my sysmates were genuinely uncomfortable by this but back then it felt like there was something holding us back from saying "hey, I'm uncomfy w this thing you just came into our dms about it." so i ask that if you do try to do this think twice about whatever the fuck freaky shit you wanna dm us and if you still end up dming us, fucking ask before.

anything remotely triggering, except for swears will be tagged with a tw or cw, even slurs. Though i must warn you, i don't use such things even if i reclaim them, unless it's super joking and/or i know that who I'm saying it to is okay to say it to

no post is directed to anyone unless specified, the specifications will be as /dir at @(user) or /dir at (sysmate name) or just tagging someone without using a tone tag. if not any of those things then nothing is directed at anyone real and anything that is talking about source and/or source people (not fic kins, the actual characters) is not tagged as anything, moots who have sourcemates, and sourcemates that we talk about from moots will be TAGGED as jax.moots

hits you with Ribbun, right in the face @ribbonroz (subtly hints at something to viewers <3 )

_ _

Thanks for reading, go follow the system account / main blog : @idioticaltxri

[tallymali]

(Read this with no hate, you seem like a good person and this isn't anything against you specifically)

The thing is that because you have a large following, you may have some kinda superiority complex where you think that your opinion is 100% fact and the way that 50 people will like your post just perpetuates it. I feel like you're at least smart enough to acknowledge that maybe there is some space for error in your judgement or that even though you strongly believe your own opinion of course, there is at least a percentage of a chance you may be incorrect? For example, if in a few years it becomes proven scientifically that vaccines have been causing autism or are the sole cause for some illness or disorder, would you admit to being wrong in the past? Would you stick to your original opinion? Would you just sweep it under the rug because people generally don't like to admit that they were wrong? Same goes with anything else that either the left or right believe. Like if someone believes in gay/trans rights, abortions, etc.. does that mean they also have to believe in everything else on the checklist of leftist beliefs for you to not completely disregard them? Just a thought, not accusing you of these things. It's just something I see in a lot of people.

i have a large following because i post lewds sometimes. half naked people get likes for anything, i promise im not mistaking my ass validation for intellectual validation.

to tell the truth, this is an 18+ blog. we are all adults here. you should not need a disclaimer that im not some fountain of wisdom. i am a person. a stranger. please do not ever take my word as gospel or think im stating it as fact. if your problem is that i sound too sure of myself then i cant help you. weirdly, this is something a lot of welsh people i know deal with online. i am not soft spoken, we are not a particularly soft spoken bunch. would you like me to couch everything in teeheehee idk tho lol uwu~~ so that i dont sound like i “think that my opinion is 100% fact” (a claim i never made)?

and i find it interesting that basically every time i mention the word science someone comes into my ask like this to say “but what if you’re wrong what if the science changes what thennnn?????” as some kind of gotcha. and well, thats the scientific method? it is always changing? i had BETTER be changing my mind! i have a disability that the vast majority of medical systems on the planet are dragging their feet to even acknowledge the existence of. you imply i dont know the importance of humility and adaptability in science? i live in physical pain from the lack of it.

i used to be a lot more timid about voicing my opinions and im actually very thankful ive overcome this a bit, not for validation, but for communication. most of my friends are in some kind of STEM field, and i love chatting with them and saying “hey so ive been thinking [thing relevant to your field], whats your verdict on that one?” and then i get to learn something and its really fun. maybe they tell me im completely wrong, and thats no less exciting because its not ABOUT me. its kind of the reddit theory that you get better answers when you make a wrong statement yourself, as opposed to asking an open-ended question.

i do get this on tumblr too. i love it when people reply and disagree in good faith. my mutuals have so many different kinds of experiences and professions and passions and i lovelovelove hearing from them. we have some great conversations in the DMs when i have it in me to find them in the sea of dick pics.

because of my current life conditions i dont have the ability to get back into formal education right now. and thats all i ever dream of. its the one thing i want to achieve before i kick the bucket. i try to do as much as i can to keep my brain stimulated despite the fact that some days all i can do is take codeine and stare at the wall. i really resent that i dont have the ability to approach any of this perfectly, and would never claim that i am. i guess im a little sorry for apparently not accurately representing how much of a mess of a person i know i am akdnfbjskssk

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Stricken 1

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, violence, ostricization,and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: you were scarred by a storm years ago and its bringer has come to upheave your life once more.

Characters: God of War!Thor

Note: I did this finally.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

You always know when a storm's coming. The hairs on your arms stand and your skin burns hot. The smell of rain is tinted by another scent. That of burning flesh and ash. Your scars raze as if struck again and for a moment, you cannot hear or see. 

Slowly, the scent of rain returns to you and the noise of the patter, sometimes more a hammering, as if to remind you of its bearer. The thunder is his war cry. The lightning his wrath. You do wonder why then it should’ve come down on you. 

You keep your hood up, your chin low. Though you hide, the villagers know who you are, they know of your misfortune. The calamity wrought into your flesh in veined scars. Your face is marked with the storm, zigzagged with lines as your left eye is struck blind and white. 

Yet it isn’t your name they whisper as you stop at a stall to buy grain. It is his. The Prince of Asgard. The might God of Thunder. The monster who made you like this. 

The air is thick, roiling with unspent moisture, and the clouds threatening in a grey ripple. You should have come yesterday. You should not have waited so long.  

You trade your coin and move on, gathering the small rations you can afford. You’ll return to your hovel, gather what you can from the garden, and check the traps for rabbits. It should get you through, though the frost does eat away at your harvest.  

As you have it, between the chirping of your disfigurement, there is worse creeping from the north. The snows have fallen heavy and whole lakes have frozen to the silt. You do not believe all you hear but you know better than to disregard the nip in the air. 

Your basket remains like but you’ve spent your limit. Your cloak shifts with your movement and you shrink lower as you near the group of adolescents feigning at battle with sticks. Their audience glimpses your passing and you hear their voices mingle with laughter. 

“It’s that crone. The burnt one,” comes a bit louder than is meant. 

You don’t stop. You don’t show that you’ve heard it. There is nothing to be said.  

“Cursed, by Thor’s hammer,” another chortles, “it is said he was forging and struck the blade too hard. In his wrath, he sent a storm. A mongrel like her drew it upon herself, broken like the sword.” 

Certainly, that too is a story to be met with skepticism. One cannot guess at what the gods do in Asgard nor why they bring only misery and chaos to Midgard. You cannot disagree that the storm was no favour to you. A curse, certainly, though the meaning can never be known. 

You move along, leaving behind their whispers and their sneers. Off to your solace, to your safe. Out of the path of any wandering soul or any blowing storm.  

⛈

A storm rages without. Water swirls and batters your small abode, built against the wall of a cave on a carpet of peat. You cover your ears as the winds whistle and wail. You quake beneath your cloak, eyes locked shut as you cower away from the tempest so much as your own memories. 

The blinding white flash and the scalding hot pain. Your fingers creep up to your chin and feel the rigged scars. You can never forget, no matter how you try. You can never be as you were. You are marked, you are damaged, and as the villagers have it on their tongues, broken. 

Even your family would not have you. You remember your mother’s wail as your father drove you off like some beast. ‘The gods have smited you themselves. You cannot remain or you will wreck ruin upon us all.’ 

Days of walking and tears, like the very storm that scarred you, a haze through which you trod until you could go no more. Until your head would split and the burnt flesh began to weep. A woman found you on the forest floor, rotting away from the corruption spreading through you. 

You don’t remember much of her. Only her touch and how she healed you. She bid you off with the cloak you wear and some food for your travels. Then you were alone and thus you remain. Not even the thieves will steal from you, nor the criminals darken your door. A curse is worth no piece of gold, no drop of blood. 

The pounding of rain relents. A chill creeps beneath the slats of your door and seep into the walls. You fill the earth with what kindling you have, the clay chimney puffing smoke up through the center of the roof. You hold your hands out to warm but find little comfort. 

You settle on your side beneath your cloak and stare into the flames. You shiver. It’s cold. Very cold. Typically, the rain chases away the chill but this is different. You can feel it in the ground. You curl up tight, clinging to your warmth, let your eyes close. Sleep comes but for lack of and not peacefully. 

Your dreams are a maelstrom. There a flames and ice, one after the other, sometimes together. Sharp pointed shards frozen and hanging, then licking tendrils of heat from below. You are lost in the land of sleep, tortured by a world built of your own fears and follies. 

You wake stiff and frigid. The fire has gone out. Not even smoke remains in the pile of ash. You move carefully, bones aching, scars tingling. You touch the hard ridging along your cheek and your fingers pulse from the cold. You can see your breath. 

How can it be? It was sunny before the rain. You get your feet under you and stand with a groan. Near the door, a strange dusting of white powders around the door, flecking in from beneath and around the edges. Snow? 

Were the tales true after all? You wince as suddenly your scars singe and sting. Ow. You recoil and cover your face with your hands, hissing and wheezing through the pain. It hurts terribly. Worse than even the first strike.  

You pull your hands away as your eyes water and you blink through your tears. You can see, at least in your good eye. There is no lightning, it is only in your mind. You shakily turn and search around. You cry out again as the agony surges once more in your head. 

Why? 

Your legs quake. Something is amiss. The frost has come and this meagre hut cannot withstand it. You take your rucksack and put what you can carry into it. Your water skin is strung across your chest and your pack upon your back. You wrap your boots with rags and your hands too. You haven’t the clothing for the cold but you will need to find something. Perhaps skin a hare or two. 

The door blows inward almost as soon as you touch it, another gust nearly bowling you over. You sway with the wind and cling to the crooked doorframe. You shove yourself out, just as quickly flattened to the wall by a flurry of snow. It dusts your face coldly and you pull up your neck scarf over your nose and pull your hood into place. 

You set off, hunched, reaching with your arms as you lift your knees over the treacherous heaps. You keep close to the rock wall. The thought of turning back stops you but it seems as foolish an idea. The hovel cannot hold for much longer. You need to get to the mouth of the cave and chance a sleeping bear within. 

You sidle along, slowed by the snow and the wind, the former soaking through your clothing as the latter whips around your hood. Suddenly, a roll of thunder, like war drums, churns in the air. The word dims and the furor sounds again; louder, closer. 

You cry out and lift an arm to shield yourself instinctively. You curl your hand into the rockface and holler even louder, closing your eyes as your memory summons another storm. No, it cannot be. Not again.  

A deafening boom shakes the ground and knocks you to your knees. You crawl along, keeping low near the ragged stone, those hidden beneath the snow jabbing against your palms. You whimper and whine, blinded by the thickening curtain all around you. 

Yet you never heard of the god raining down snow upon the lands. Only the slaking rains and the hot violence of his bolts. Never this. What sword has he broken this time? Perhaps it was his very own hammer.

The thunder overhead continues its horrid thrum as more pulses in the earth. Boom, boom, boom. You feel it beneath your hands. Your knees come down clumsily as you scramble through the piling powder. You open your eyes and still cannot see. The world is smudge in gray white and black, the sky flashing and darkening from one moment to the next. 

You cry out again as your scars burn. You push yourself back on your heels and grasp your face as you shriek. It hurts! So bad! Your eyes well and flow over. Your body trembles and collapses. You writhe in the snow, contorting with the agony as your flesh feels as if it is splitting. 

Beneath the incessant pounding comes a rocky noise. Like laughter it curdles in the air and chases after you like the steady boom, boom, boom. Closer and closer, louder and louder, the earth quakes in tandem with the cacophony. 

“I’ve found another,” the deep voice scoffs and snickers, “ah, Heimdall, you must see this--” 

The craterous voice halts and the air still. The snow drifts but the wind stops and the thunder relents, the world seeming to hum. You scratch at your face as the flames grow unbearable. You must be alight. It can be the only reason for such pain. 

The large figure, a blurry silhouette in your skewed vision, looms like a mountain. He steps over you, sliding a foot between you and the cave wall and flips you onto your back. You stare up at the sky, rolling in sheets of grey and black, the dark figure standing above, blotting out the clouds. You sob and plead. 

“Make it stop!” You beg as your hood falls back, “kill me! Kill me! It hurts.” 

He bends as your eyes roll back and he grabs your wrists, pulling your hands away from your face. He pulls you half off the ground, not a single grunt for the effort. You feel whoever, whatever it is, looking down at you; upon you. A rattle rises in his gritty throat. 

“And what are you?” He breathes. 

You feel another surge and babble, reining in your wild eyes as you quiver uncontrollably. You make yourself look at him. You shudder and shake your head. Shaggy red hair, a braided beard, and eyes so blue they jolt you. Ink marks one side of his broad face as he wears fur upon his soldiers beneath emblems of the godly lands. 

“It hurts...” you rasp, “I am dying.” 

“You...” he grabs your chin, holding you by your shoulder. His thumb extends up your face to touch the scars and you let out a shrill howl as the agony piques. You latch onto his thick arm and thrash. 

“It buuuuuuuurrnssssssssss,” you scream as your spine arches. 

“Hmm,” he hums and throws you into the snow. You continue your desperate wriggling, the fire softening but not leaving you completely, “Heimdall!” He calls out like a war horn, “get your skinny ass over here!” 

There’s a tinkle of coy laughter and lighter footsteps that land on the boulder above. Your eyes drift over and you see another shadow, this one hazier but smaller. A dusting of snow flies up beside you as the other man lands beside you. No, not a man. 

Heimdall? Son of Odin. 

“Oh, Thor, what trouble have you found--” 

“Another one,” the other growls. Not the other, Thor. The God of Thunder. The beast who marked you. “Father says they all must come.” 

“This one?” Heimdall muses as his voice spikes with humour, “why look at her. Pathetic—wait a moment... brother, is this your handiwork?” He squats to see you closer and snickers again, “why how very peculiar.” 

“Bring her,” Thor barks and spins on his heel, swinging his hammer, “we haven’t time--” 

“You bring her, brother. As you say, you are so much stronger--” 

“Just do it!” Thor snarls and a peel of thunder breaks through the clouds. “I need ale.” 

[staybabblingbaby]

I saw someone ask @jisunggy and thought it was a fun idea sooooo

moots as stray kids members? ╰(*°▽°*)╯

LMAO you asked this so long ago I'm so sorry, I was in the middle of dying 💜 Probably not going to be anywhere near as poetic as @jisunggy (seriously, they made me tear up T^T) but I'll do my best! Also, I'm restricting this to Moots I actually talk to, bc I don't wanna b tagging folks who have never spoken to me (even tho I absolutely do adore those moots too <3) OK SO!

@brbwritingfanfic - That's my boy Han, right there. This is mostly based on vibes, but like, also, we can go down so many rabbit hole conversations together and end up so far from where we started it's crazy. My adhd buddy 💜 She's also so adorable and passionate, I love getting to listen (or, well, read lmao) to all the things she gets hyped about. It's seriously so fun

@lazyfacecowboy - I.N! she's not the maknae of my moots, but she IS the one I want to bundle up in a blanket the most lol. I want to be a cool older sibling figure to her but I'm so awkward and lame it's not a role i can take on xD Regardless, I love her to bits and I always worry about her. I also think she's more mature than me and cooler than me in every way, so she's very I.N coded tbh xD

@jisunggy - The man, the myth, the legend! I HAVE to pick Felix for Jisunggy, I know their bias is obviously the other Sunshine twin, but I can't help it! Jisunggy is basically my extrovert on this website lmao. Picked me up by my scruff and said "We're going for ice-cream!" and I've been in their pocket ever since. Jisunggy just has a way of making me smile and feel included in this wonderful community we call fandom. I'm STILL getting Bubble Squad tags from them and I hope they never stop 💜 They tag me in things sometimes and it reminds that I occupy another person's brain every now and then and I can't tell you what that does for my self esteem. I'm starstruck by them all the time always.

@thatgirlangelb - My og. my beloved. my daughter, the apple of my eye. She's so Hyunjin coded to me, i'm not even kidding. She's stuck by me from the start, and most of BFP and even some of Soulmate Garden would not exist without her. She's always so encouraging and sweet and I want to pick her brain apart because she has the BEST ideas. Nothing gets my creativity flowing quite like a conversation with her, she's like magic. I'm kissing her brain all the time.

@chancloud8 - My darling 🥰💍 Another ring for you, cos you deserve it 💜 Maybe it's a bit on the nose, but I'm assigning her our beloved leader Bangchan 💜💜💜 She's seriously been a rock for me lately and I don't know what I'd do without her 💔 She's always hearing out my stupid, crazy ideas and patiently letting me lore drop about the most obscure shit. 90% of the lore I babble on about in her DMs won't even be written or make it into the stories they're for but she's always got an open ear and a word of encouragement for me. She's one of those people I never realized I needed in my life until she was there, and now it feels like I've known her forever. You'll have to make your escape from me out of my cold, dead hands, beloved 🥰

@sh0dor1 - My most recent moot! I did not realize we weren't moots until I was double-checking if I knew everyone's pronouns and I was like, "wait, where's Sho?" so I literally followed them right before I started this post. I'm so sorry my dude T^T ANYWAYS! I am gently placing this one in the 'Felix' category. Hype man personified, they're literally so encouraging and lovely to speak to. We don't talk much outside of my replies, but I LOVE getting the chance to pick their brain and babble back and forth when we do talk. My motormouth soulmate 💜 If you put us in a room together I'm pretty sure we could take over the world by pure volume of words. They're always so bright and funny too. A lovely individual 10/10 would recommend

Anyways yeah, I love you all and I appreciate you and you make this hellsite so much better just by bein around 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

[ashes-writing-corner]

Hey guys! Guess who's baaaaack?! :D

Sorry for the delay in updates, this chapter is short but it took a little bit out of me. Not sure I like how it turned out but I hope you like it! ^^

Also! I wanted to announce that I now have a Ko-Fi! Desperate times call for Desperate measures unfortunately and I hate to beg folks for money, but my mothers been out of a job since Christmas and my sister and I are struggling to pay the bills. If you could consider donating please do so! We'd be grateful: https://ko-fi.com/lavenderebel

I do make up commissions, but I'm also willing to do writing commissions upon request! If interested please DM me!

Taglist: @exactlyelegantwizard , @xenoanamorph , @hoeia-strigoi , @arwenkenobi48 , @xanth420 , @serpentdeath , @landlockedmermaid77, @uncensored-aj, @mypackpride, @whisperingwillowe, @sasksdemorg, @emimuart, @fern-and-bone, @enchantedchocolatebars, @disneyvillainsinlove, and @muchwita

If you'd like to be added to the taglist, please let me know ^^

Exile: A Nosferatu Fanfic

Chapter 16

I couldn’t turn things around…(You never turned things around…)

Ellen opened her eyes, only to find herself on a familiar beach, the sounds and smells of the sea invading her senses, sparking them back to an almost lifelike feeling. It was dreary out, but not quite stormy or rainy. Just..gray. Ehre stayed close to her, serving as a guide and guard to her. The wolfhound watched a little crab dig itself into the sand, hiding away.

Looking around, Ellen saw no sign of Thomas. She had focused on him with the black mirror. She had seen him, he had to be here somewhere. He was still here in Wisburg, she could feel it. Perhaps reluctantly, but Thomas was there. She waited, for what she wasn’t sure, but she did. He would show up at some point. Ellen had faith he would…

“Um…excuse me, ma’am?” a little voice sounded behind her as Ellen felt a slight tugging on her black dress.

Ellen looked down to see a little girl at her side. She looked about five years old, with dark brown curls and soft green eyes. She had on nice play clothes, with a little straw hat on. Ellen cocked her head. A child could…see her? Interact with her? Then again, when she was little she sometimes saw what she knew now to be spirits. Perhaps…she could even help her.

“Yes?” Ellen asked.

“I like your puppy! Can I pet him?!” the little one asked, her eyes bright as beads.

“Oh! I don’t know if-” Ellen tried to explain but Ehre came over to sniff and put his head under the little girl’s hand.

“Good puppy!” she giggled as she put his head, “Soft big puppy! What’s his name?”

“His name is Ehre”.

“Honor! So he’s a very good boy!” she smiled, “I only have a kitty at home, but she’s old. I wanna convince papa to get us a puppy”.

Ellen felt a growing suspicion…a cat. An old cat? Greta? This couldn’t be…could it? But again, Ellen couldn’t shake the feeling. If this little girl was indeed…then that meant…

“What’s the kitty’s name?” Ellen almost hated to ask, but she had to know.

“Her name’s Greta. She was papa’s cat…she loves him a lot. But not more than me!”.

It was like glass breaking in Ellen’s head. This little girl…she was…

“Ellen! Darling?! You know not to take off like that” a familiar voice made Ellen’s head turn.

It was Thomas. Older, with a little more gray in his hair, and had a little bit of a beard growing. But she knew that face, that voice, from anywhere. And this little one was his…

“But papa…There’s a nice lady here with a puppy! Can’t you see?!” the little girl, Ellen, asked.

He looked serious for a moment. “A lady with a puppy?”.

The child nodded. “She’s so pretty! Can’t you see? She looks…sad though”.

Ellen felt sad, more than that. She felt…hurt. She knew she shouldn’t be. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair. But…she felt hurt. Thomas had moved on from her. Started a new family. She didn’t want him mourning her forever, but at the same time…

“Ellen…sweetheart…What does she look like?” Thomas asked.

He had named his daughter after her. A small comfort but it wasn’t enough. Ellen felt her eyes sting. Cold overtook her again, gripping her heart just as fast as death once did.

“She has long pretty hair, darker than mine. Her eyes are brown, but…sad. Very sad now. What’s wrong, ma’am?” little Ellen asked.

Ellen couldn’t bring herself to answer. Her feelings of hurt were far too great. She turned to leave. She had her answer. Thomas was fine. He didn’t need her anymore.

“Wait, don't go!” little Ellen called, “Please!”

Thomas held his daughter’s hand. “Ellen, go back to your mother. She’s just down the way. I…I need a moment, please”.

“But papa…the lady-”.

“I’ll talk to her. Please just…give us a moment. Please” Thomas assured her and the child nodded.

“Okay papa. Just…be nice. She’s really sad”.

“I would never upset someone in need of help, sweetie. You help those that you can. I’ll take care of her”.

Little Ellen nodded and bound away, humming a little tune. Ellen turned to him, watching him. Thomas took his hat off, his face somber. He waited until his daughter was out of earshot.

“I didn’t think you’d ever come back. I don’t know if it’s you, Ellen. But I hope it is. I know this…this may come as a shock, but know that I have never, ever, forgotten you. My first love, my truest love. I miss you every day. Even if the pain is a little less” he told her, although he wasn’t sure if she could hear him.

Ellen sobbed, listening to him. She didn’t want to believe it. He had moved on, leaving her behind. At least that’s what it felt like to her.

“It’s been ten years…almost to the day. I visit your grave every year. But of course i suppose it’s fitting you’d haunt here of all places. I mourned for at least the first four before I met my now wife. I think you’d like Cecilie. She’s really sweet, she knows how much you meant to me. We made a memorial garden for you in the backyard. We named our daughter for you. I have tried so hard to keep you in every part of my life. I never want to forget you. I love you still, Ellen. I’m sorry, I don’t want to hurt you. I could never. But…I’m okay. It’s okay. Wherever you come from, be it heaven or elsewhere…I’m alright”.

He seemed to look at her as he said it. Ellen was touched, some of the hurt going away at that. But even so, she couldn’t stop the stinging she felt inside. Thomas had kept her in his life in every way he could, and for that Ellen was grateful. He hadn’t forgotten her, not completely. It took some of the sting, but still…something hurt.

“I miss you” Thomas said, “Every day. The pain of loss…it never truly goes away. You just…learn to grow around it. I hope wherever you are, love, I hope you’re safe. That you’re happy. And I hope you know that I’m safe too, happy. You don’t have to stay if you’ve been here this whole time. You can let go. Just…know something in me never truly will”.

Ellen’s eyes stung as he said it. Ehre’s ears flattened and he let out a soft whine. She had her confirmation. Thomas was okay. He was safe and happy. He didn’t need her to worry about him anymore. It hurt, it really did, but at least Ellen got her answer.

She looked out at the sea, standing side by side with him. This felt like a more proper ending, the one they truly deserved. In that moment, a small part of her thanked Orlok for letting her use the black mirror to come find him. It seemed Thomas needed this closure too, closure he was, for the most part, denied.

Same as her.

With that, she only wanted to see one other person before the count came to retrieve her.

Professor Von Franz…the only other person who believed in her…

If you guys enjoyed please consider liking, commenting, and reblogging! If you feel especially generous please donate to my ko-fi, as I'm again currently accepting both make up and writing commissions! Feel free to follow if you want to see more from me ^^ <3 as always your support is very much appreciated!!!! ^^

[hotchs-big-hands]

Hcs about Aaron's body

Aaron Hotchner x GN!reader

18+ Minors dni please

I initially wrote these in dms, so it's not the most coherent thing I've written before but I feel like sharing them so here we are. Please enjoy :)

Okay so when I was drawing the artwork and adding all the scars and the stretch marks I thought damn. There's no way he doesn't feel insecure abt it all, like. The scars were one thing but then he softened over the years and stretch marks sprouted across his lower abdomen and I feel like one day he caught sight of them in the mirror and just :(

Then he's dating you and it's great! He's loving everyday with you and he's feeling so, so alive. But then one day you are at his place and you're getting rly cosy and making out and you are pawing at the hem of his shirt, wanting to touch and to see him and he freezes.

You immediately stop, you ask if he's okay and he looks so panicked and sad. You ask what's going on and he says he's...well, he's not comfortable about taking his shirt off, that he's sorry and understands if you don't wanna keep going. You say

"Hey of course I am, it's alright." 🥺 so you do end up keeping going but he thinks about it, how he couldn't show you his body.

He starts to pull away a bit then cuz he's ashamed of himself and doesn't think you'll like the look of him and that he thinks he's pathetic being too afraid to show you his body. You notice and confront him gently and he finally admits it all. He's fucking sad, ashamed, scared what you'll think. And ugh your heart breaks. You cup his cheeks and gaze into his teary eyes and tell him there is NOTHING about him that would put you off him. He's shaking, the tears are free flowing and you just hold him, letting him get these emotions out. He's not been able to express how he's felt about this to ANYONE, not Beth, no one. But he trusts you so much and it feels nice to get this out.

When he slowly calms down he pulls back and you can see the cogs turning in his head. He finally says he feels ready to take his shirt off. You tell him only if he feels okay to. He nods and with your help he slowly lifts the shirt up over his head to reveal his body. Your eyes notice the hair of his happy trail and stomach, then the abundance of scars that cover his body. And you just bite back tears, hands ghosting over the surgical scars and the nine stab wounds. He shivers.

"It's okay to touch, they do feel sensitive sometimes though." He mumbles.

It takes every ounce of strength for him not to burst into tears again when you touch his scars with such tenderness and care.

You won't ask him to relay what happened, waiting for him to approach the subject on his own terms when he's ready. It's already a highly emotional day for him.

Idly, you notice the stretch marks and his grimaces when you graze them.

"I got soft at some point, don't know when." He begins to try justify them, but you just kiss his cheek.

"They are beautiful, you're so, so beautiful."

He's never been called beautiful before, and it makes his eyes well up with tears again. Only this time they are happier tears.

And when you're both laying in bed together and you're gently kissing all of those scars and stretch marks and lil beauty marks and freckles? His heart melts, and he truly does feel as beautiful as you say he is. Not once have you shied away from him, you've instead never been closer to him. And when you're laying together after making love, your hand stroking his stomach softly as you cuddle him he smiles; yes, he could get used to this.

[bu-blegh-ost]

What Chip's current condition may possibly mean for both him and the crew (a theory of sorts)

Spoilers for ep. 109 and 110. Heed the warning.

Okay, so ever since ep. 109 came out I've been frantically reading about undead and what does it mean for your pc to be undead. I stayed silent about it, cause I wasn't sure if Nik could fix this, but now that ep. 110 is out I'd like to share some of the things I found, for folks like me, who do not know much abt DnD yet.

So, in a long list of features the undead have, most prominent problem is how hard it is to heal them. None of Jay's or Gillion's spells can heal Chip now, we'd need a spell that normally damages people, like necromancy spells, since they have a reverse efffect on the undead, and none of them has access to that currently. Not only that, once Chip's health reaches zero at this state, that's it. No death saves, no going unconscious or going down. That's it, which is why the moment he turned undead, Jay started spamming the temporary HP canon. So Chip doesn't lose any of his core health pool. If he did die in this state, from then on, only a spell called Wish (if I'm not mistaken a lvl 9 Sorcerer wish, so Gillion could do that if he cranked up three more levels in sorcery real quick) or True Ressurection could save him. But these two spells would also bring Chip back to life as a regular person, not the undead, so it would be cool to seek out someone who could do that for them at the most convenient time.

To balance it out, Chip is resistant to a shit ton of attack types, including poison, physical, necrotic and many other. To top it off with Chip's evasion skills, I'm giving him good chances to either minimalize or negate most damage in this form. And well, considering everything, he'd be wise to take every opportunity to do so, joke damage taking is no longer an option, I think. Also Gillion needs to be very careful with radiant damage around Chip, cause it's very effective on the undead. Chip getting hit by Gillion's strike may damage him greatly, and the two need to be very careful around each other from now on :(((

And the most interesting thing I found is the Undead Hunger variant. Some undead can just live on for centuries and be fine without a need to feed on something. But some, even the intelligent ones like Chip, may need a bit more than that, and given that very ominous intelligence check Grizzly made him roll at the end of the day, I'm thinking he's implementing the hunger rule on Chip. Lemme tell you a bit about it.

So Undead Hunger is a Variant Rule that DMs use on player characters that are undead sometimes. And that means that once in a while Chip would have to feed on some sort of specific type of morsel to satisfy his craving, or suffer the cosequences. There are two variants of undead that can make roll for this: Inescapable Craving or Diet Dependent. The player in that case rolls for willpower, which DMs usually make a wisdom or intelligence check. In our case Grizzly chose intelligence, and Chip passed with a 19. The DC for Inescapably Craving Undead is 25, but the DC for Diet Dependent Undead is 15. So from that I deduced that Chip would be a Diet Dependent Undead, since he passed the roll.

Hunger for the Undead is like addiction to the living. This means that unless Chip can resist it with a succesful roll, he may become more agressive, anxious, violent or even self-destructive the longer he is denied a preferred meal. If he can't eat, he'll have to roll for keeping himself at bay every three days. He doesn't have to roll if he eats.

So you may ask now: what happens if he fails one to many times? This is the interesting part. So if Chip fails his once per three days intelligence check, the DM will make him take ability damage. That means that one of his stats (wisdom, strength, dexterity etc.) will reduce by a whatever number Grizzly sees fit (Chip can get all the lost points back the moment he eats). In the guide I've read it says that wisdom is the most crucial ability score to lose, tho I'm unsure if the DM takes away only from wisdom or if he can take any of the stats, I may need to read more on that. But the thing is, the more rolls Chip fails, the more wisdom he may loose, and please note, Chip does not have much wisdom to begin with (but he does have high intelligence so thank the gods for that at least).

The less wisdom Chip has, the more desperate he gets when it comes to eating. He may start seeking out more risky ways to get fed or do things he normally wouldn't to get it. Hunger can't kill him though, it may just make him lose himself (hence that comment of Grizzly's about him needing to hold onto his sense of self, at least that's what I think that is). Once Chip reaches wisdom score 0, Bizzly actually loses control over him, and Grizzly takes over Chip and he plays Chip as he was a wild enemy beast. In that state Chip can throw himself on anyone or anything that can provide him food, his mind completely lost. He can hurt others, attack his crew. He can do anything the DM determines a starved mindless beast would do.

He can come back to his senses once more, when he does feed on whatever is decided his preferred meal is, all his wisdom regained and all, but the consequences of his actions, when he was not himself, the dreadful realisation that he is now a monster, who needs to be kept in check so he doesn't hurt the people he loves...This may be a lot for Chip to take. If this were to happen, he'll need a lot of his crewmates' support and reassurance, and a lot of honesty will be demanded from Chip. He'd have to warn people around him and make sure everyone knows how he's feeling, if he needs help in finding food. Casue hiding this hunger may result in tragedy.

And of course, it doesn't help that they are where they are now. In any case, if Grizz decides that Chip's favourite meal is humanoid flesh (beyond cruel is what that would be), they are fucked, basically. If it is the flesh of any other creature or animal, well they are also fucked, because they are in a motherfucking Black Sea, so good luck finding anything consumable like this either way.

But hey, of course do remeber that in the end these are just my conclusions based on what I read. Grizzly might not be even using any of these rules, cause he's the DM and he can do whatever he wants. I just thought that based on what we saw, this is very likely to happen (consider it a theory of mine for the time being). If you would like to read more about it, I'll leave you the link to this one really good website that I found most of the information on. I can't confirm its relaibility, but it looks very informative, comprehensive and thought out, and thus far was the most thorough source I found, so I'm personally willing to trust it. But please do find out for yourself. That'll be it, see you and I hope you had fun reading!

Link to the website: https://www.realmshelps.net/monsters/aboutundead.shtml#undeadhunger

UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!

Tags written out by the wonderful @dinzeeyz !!! They explained here what is ACTUALLY happening to Chip, not a theory, facts from the boys themselves! Please make sure to read them!!!

Well, there it is folks! Of course, I do not mind that I was wrong! The fun part in theorizing is not being right or wrong, but the journey one takes to find out the truth! And the truth is SO much more horrifying than I could ever think! You see, I was kinda thinking abt ways for Chip to still function while undead, but there is NO FUNCTIONING WHATSOEVER APPARENTLY. Grizzly's not playing, and the prospect of losing Chip forever is real oh dear OMG, that's absolutely insane!!! Please feel welcome to discuss this, I'll be definitely making more posts about this once I have a little more time but holy shit guys. We need to fix that boy up F A S T. If we lose Chip, I'm not recovering-

[tutantmeenageneetleteetle]

Hi I was wondering if I could request something.

How would the 2012 turtles feel about an autistic s/o who had situational mutism? I am someone who has both and I use cue cards or text my responses when I am unable to communicate them verbally. It would be interesting to hear how the four of them approach this circumstance.

Situational mutism

Thank you for your request! I hadn't heard of situational mutism before, so I hope that what I wrote is somewhat accurate to how it works! Feel free to correct me and educate me (can be in my DMs or requests if you prefer it to be more private!) And if I made a mistake, I'll change it!🌸

Leo

Thought you were mad at him at first, or didn't understand what he was saying

When you explained (by typing it out), he just let out an "Oooh... okay"

He might struggle a bit, the first time it happens

When you are able to communicate verbally again, he will try to make a plan with you (here comes the plan-guy again, who needs a plan for everything...)

He will ask you what you need, what he can do to help, what you don't like, how it works, etc.

Prefers if you communicate through text to speech, but if you prefer something else, that's totally okay too

He just wants to make sure you're comfortable

He will make sure everyone waits for you to type out what you have to say to make sure you're not talked over or ignored

He will teach you some ninja hand signs as well, for emergency communication

Raph

Would be really confused and frustrated at first

He would think you're purposefully not replying to him and it would tick him off

After you explained (by typing it out), he would feel really guilty about getting angry with you

You'd get one of them rare apologies

After that, he would stick up for you and get angry for you if people weren't considerate enough or impatient in their communication with you

"Situational mutism is hard, you asshole! Be considerate, or I'll beat a little respect into you!"

Violence may not be the answer you were hoping for, but it is an answer nonetheless

The dumbass will sometimes not notice or forget that you have situational mutism, though.

In his own words, feel free to hit him on the head and make him pay attention/remember

Döner kebab

He would be quick to pick up on the fact that it's not 'just you being quiet'

Would ask you about different options in his mind that could possibly be related to you being silent

"Don't you want to talk or can't you talk? You can't? Okay. Does it give you anxiety to talk? Sometimes, okay... You also have autism, right? Yes? Situational mutism? Yes? Okay, that makes sense, then."

He will do his research

Will make you a smart watch that is designed for non-verbal communication, where you have different keywords, phrases, and letters to communicate

One of the phrases will be "Donnie is the best boyfriend ever!"

Please don't give him too much space to talk, though (I'm saying this for your own good). Any silence he can find, he will yap about some science related stuff

Mikey

He would be too busy yapping to notice at first

He would just start asking you endless questions and you could not keep up with answering them, since it takes longer to even answer with text or cuecards.

When you did manage to explain, he'd just react with "wooow... alright. Dope." While he does fingerguns. (6/10, kind of funny response, but could've been more considerate, since it's a struggle sometimes)

Out of all of them, he will pick up the communication the easiest

Cuecards will work best on him

He will spend the afternoon making them with you

He thinks it's really fun to use cuecards to communicate together, and he will use them to you too

Will always have a set of cards on hand for you (or him!)

One of the cards will have an arrow pointing up with the word "kiss here" written on it