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[ashes-writing-corner]

Updates and Emergencies!

Hey friends and fans it's ashleigh!

I'm still working on Exile, I may actually wait to have the story completed before I update again because of some serious stuff that's been going on with me and mine.

So...my mother has been without a job since Christmas. She's been looking but currently it feels like no one is looking to hire her. It's been rough. Very rough. And it seems it's only going to get worse :(

I really, really, REALLY hate that I have to do this, but we desperately need some kind of funds in order for us to keep our house. If my mother doesn't have a job before June were going to have sell and move down south to family who hate us. I frankly do not wish to do this.

That being said, I do have a Ko-Fi set up. Now I do make up commissions but I'm also willing to do writing commissions as well.

FANDOMS I CAN WRITE FOR:

1. Call of duty

2. Resident Evil Village

3. Star wars

4. Nosferatu (2024)

5. His Dark Materials

6. Game of thrones

7. House of the Dragon

8. Greek mythology/Egyptian mythology

9. Avatar (James Cameron, not the Last Air Bender)

10. Hazbin hotel/helluva boss

I'm also willing to do original work if you have a prompt/original idea you want me to work with! Romantic fantasy is my primary genre. Anything involving the supernatural I'm all for.

!!!!!I WILL NOT WRITE SMUT OF ANY KIND! SORRY BUT IT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!!

If you just wanna donate, I take three dollar donations! If you wanna commission me, I charge 5 dollars for every 1000 words or for a make up commission! Please feel free to DM me for further details!

Ko-Fi link: https://ko-fi.com/lavenderebel

Please please please donate!

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Hey guys! Guess who's baaaaack?! :D

Sorry for the delay in updates, this chapter is short but it took a little bit out of me. Not sure I like how it turned out but I hope you like it! ^^

Also! I wanted to announce that I now have a Ko-Fi! Desperate times call for Desperate measures unfortunately and I hate to beg folks for money, but my mothers been out of a job since Christmas and my sister and I are struggling to pay the bills. If you could consider donating please do so! We'd be grateful: https://ko-fi.com/lavenderebel

I do make up commissions, but I'm also willing to do writing commissions upon request! If interested please DM me!

Taglist: @exactlyelegantwizard , @xenoanamorph , @hoeia-strigoi , @arwenkenobi48 , @xanth420 , @serpentdeath , @landlockedmermaid77, @uncensored-aj, @mypackpride, @whisperingwillowe, @sasksdemorg, @emimuart, @fern-and-bone, @enchantedchocolatebars, @disneyvillainsinlove, and @muchwita

If you'd like to be added to the taglist, please let me know ^^

Exile: A Nosferatu Fanfic

Chapter 16

I couldn’t turn things around…(You never turned things around…)

Ellen opened her eyes, only to find herself on a familiar beach, the sounds and smells of the sea invading her senses, sparking them back to an almost lifelike feeling. It was dreary out, but not quite stormy or rainy. Just..gray. Ehre stayed close to her, serving as a guide and guard to her. The wolfhound watched a little crab dig itself into the sand, hiding away.

Looking around, Ellen saw no sign of Thomas. She had focused on him with the black mirror. She had seen him, he had to be here somewhere. He was still here in Wisburg, she could feel it. Perhaps reluctantly, but Thomas was there. She waited, for what she wasn’t sure, but she did. He would show up at some point. Ellen had faith he would…

“Um…excuse me, ma’am?” a little voice sounded behind her as Ellen felt a slight tugging on her black dress.

Ellen looked down to see a little girl at her side. She looked about five years old, with dark brown curls and soft green eyes. She had on nice play clothes, with a little straw hat on. Ellen cocked her head. A child could…see her? Interact with her? Then again, when she was little she sometimes saw what she knew now to be spirits. Perhaps…she could even help her.

“Yes?” Ellen asked.

“I like your puppy! Can I pet him?!” the little one asked, her eyes bright as beads.

“Oh! I don’t know if-” Ellen tried to explain but Ehre came over to sniff and put his head under the little girl’s hand.

“Good puppy!” she giggled as she put his head, “Soft big puppy! What’s his name?”

“His name is Ehre”.

“Honor! So he’s a very good boy!” she smiled, “I only have a kitty at home, but she’s old. I wanna convince papa to get us a puppy”.

Ellen felt a growing suspicion…a cat. An old cat? Greta? This couldn’t be…could it? But again, Ellen couldn’t shake the feeling. If this little girl was indeed…then that meant…

“What’s the kitty’s name?” Ellen almost hated to ask, but she had to know.

“Her name’s Greta. She was papa’s cat…she loves him a lot. But not more than me!”.

It was like glass breaking in Ellen’s head. This little girl…she was…

“Ellen! Darling?! You know not to take off like that” a familiar voice made Ellen’s head turn.

It was Thomas. Older, with a little more gray in his hair, and had a little bit of a beard growing. But she knew that face, that voice, from anywhere. And this little one was his…

“But papa…There’s a nice lady here with a puppy! Can’t you see?!” the little girl, Ellen, asked.

He looked serious for a moment. “A lady with a puppy?”.

The child nodded. “She’s so pretty! Can’t you see? She looks…sad though”.

Ellen felt sad, more than that. She felt…hurt. She knew she shouldn’t be. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair. But…she felt hurt. Thomas had moved on from her. Started a new family. She didn’t want him mourning her forever, but at the same time…

“Ellen…sweetheart…What does she look like?” Thomas asked.

He had named his daughter after her. A small comfort but it wasn’t enough. Ellen felt her eyes sting. Cold overtook her again, gripping her heart just as fast as death once did.

“She has long pretty hair, darker than mine. Her eyes are brown, but…sad. Very sad now. What’s wrong, ma’am?” little Ellen asked.

Ellen couldn’t bring herself to answer. Her feelings of hurt were far too great. She turned to leave. She had her answer. Thomas was fine. He didn’t need her anymore.

“Wait, don't go!” little Ellen called, “Please!”

Thomas held his daughter’s hand. “Ellen, go back to your mother. She’s just down the way. I…I need a moment, please”.

“But papa…the lady-”.

“I’ll talk to her. Please just…give us a moment. Please” Thomas assured her and the child nodded.

“Okay papa. Just…be nice. She’s really sad”.

“I would never upset someone in need of help, sweetie. You help those that you can. I’ll take care of her”.

Little Ellen nodded and bound away, humming a little tune. Ellen turned to him, watching him. Thomas took his hat off, his face somber. He waited until his daughter was out of earshot.

“I didn’t think you’d ever come back. I don’t know if it’s you, Ellen. But I hope it is. I know this…this may come as a shock, but know that I have never, ever, forgotten you. My first love, my truest love. I miss you every day. Even if the pain is a little less” he told her, although he wasn’t sure if she could hear him.

Ellen sobbed, listening to him. She didn’t want to believe it. He had moved on, leaving her behind. At least that’s what it felt like to her.

“It’s been ten years…almost to the day. I visit your grave every year. But of course i suppose it’s fitting you’d haunt here of all places. I mourned for at least the first four before I met my now wife. I think you’d like Cecilie. She’s really sweet, she knows how much you meant to me. We made a memorial garden for you in the backyard. We named our daughter for you. I have tried so hard to keep you in every part of my life. I never want to forget you. I love you still, Ellen. I’m sorry, I don’t want to hurt you. I could never. But…I’m okay. It’s okay. Wherever you come from, be it heaven or elsewhere…I’m alright”.

He seemed to look at her as he said it. Ellen was touched, some of the hurt going away at that. But even so, she couldn’t stop the stinging she felt inside. Thomas had kept her in his life in every way he could, and for that Ellen was grateful. He hadn’t forgotten her, not completely. It took some of the sting, but still…something hurt.

“I miss you” Thomas said, “Every day. The pain of loss…it never truly goes away. You just…learn to grow around it. I hope wherever you are, love, I hope you’re safe. That you’re happy. And I hope you know that I’m safe too, happy. You don’t have to stay if you’ve been here this whole time. You can let go. Just…know something in me never truly will”.

Ellen’s eyes stung as he said it. Ehre’s ears flattened and he let out a soft whine. She had her confirmation. Thomas was okay. He was safe and happy. He didn’t need her to worry about him anymore. It hurt, it really did, but at least Ellen got her answer.

She looked out at the sea, standing side by side with him. This felt like a more proper ending, the one they truly deserved. In that moment, a small part of her thanked Orlok for letting her use the black mirror to come find him. It seemed Thomas needed this closure too, closure he was, for the most part, denied.

Same as her.

With that, she only wanted to see one other person before the count came to retrieve her.

Professor Von Franz…the only other person who believed in her…

If you guys enjoyed please consider liking, commenting, and reblogging! If you feel especially generous please donate to my ko-fi, as I'm again currently accepting both make up and writing commissions! Feel free to follow if you want to see more from me ^^ <3 as always your support is very much appreciated!!!! ^^

[ashes-writing-corner]

Need more votes! This keeps evening itself out lol XD

Vote on my next story!

So with an influx of new readers with the help of Exile, I have a few ideas I want to do after I'm done with it. What I'm gonna do here is let YOU decide what I write next ^^ keep in mind I'm not big in a lot of these fandoms/movies so some details may be off when I do write them. Anyway: here are the summaries:

1. There In the Dark, There in my Heart- A Bloody Axe Wound fanfic, this story is a Butch Slater/OC fanfic that's also based on the song Trouble is a Friend by Lenka. Clover Falls is a town of many secrets, but no one suspects that the dog who walks the cemetery is in fact a hellhound. Until of course a particular diner themed serial killer has a run in with the towns oldest cemetery protector...

2. Papa Bear- A Walking Dead fanfic, Papa Bear is an AU where Negan reunites with a student he helped save back when he was a teacher. Octavia Blackwell and Negan Smith were close, some would've said too close. But their relationship wasn't at all like that. Via saw him like a second father and he saw her like his daughter. Years after being separated by the fall of the world, will they stand together or have they changed too much to see each other the way they once did? Found family trope central here guys.

3. The Death of Duty, the Death of Love- aaaand continuing to display my dad issues, this is a James Cameron Avatar fic. An AU of The Way of Water, Spider has a twin sister named Mina. Mina Socorro is somewhat friendly with the Sully family but understands she isn't entirely wanted amongst them by the adults. She tries to protect her brother but winds up getting them both captured by Recom Miles Quaritch. As Mina and Miles however start to connect, Mina is left questioning her place in Eywa's plan, and Miles is left fighting an impossible battle between paternal love and duty...

4. Once in a Blue Moon- an original story, Max and Annie Ellis move from Chicago to a small town in Rhode Island to start over and get away from Annie's controlling family. There's just one problem: Annie's a werewolf! When people start coming up missing and later dead, Max starts to suspect Annie may be sliding back on her "No Eating Humans" policy. Is it her? Or is there something even more sinister looking to draw Annie out?

[ashes-writing-corner]

Another reblog yall cause I need more votes! Please If you can!

Vote on my next story!

So with an influx of new readers with the help of Exile, I have a few ideas I want to do after I'm done with it. What I'm gonna do here is let YOU decide what I write next ^^ keep in mind I'm not big in a lot of these fandoms/movies so some details may be off when I do write them. Anyway: here are the summaries:

1. There In the Dark, There in my Heart- A Bloody Axe Wound fanfic, this story is a Butch Slater/OC fanfic that's also based on the song Trouble is a Friend by Lenka. Clover Falls is a town of many secrets, but no one suspects that the dog who walks the cemetery is in fact a hellhound. Until of course a particular diner themed serial killer has a run in with the towns oldest cemetery protector...

2. Papa Bear- A Walking Dead fanfic, Papa Bear is an AU where Negan reunites with a student he helped save back when he was a teacher. Octavia Blackwell and Negan Smith were close, some would've said too close. But their relationship wasn't at all like that. Via saw him like a second father and he saw her like his daughter. Years after being separated by the fall of the world, will they stand together or have they changed too much to see each other the way they once did? Found family trope central here guys.

3. The Death of Duty, the Death of Love- aaaand continuing to display my dad issues, this is a James Cameron Avatar fic. An AU of The Way of Water, Spider has a twin sister named Mina. Mina Socorro is somewhat friendly with the Sully family but understands she isn't entirely wanted amongst them by the adults. She tries to protect her brother but winds up getting them both captured by Recom Miles Quaritch. As Mina and Miles however start to connect, Mina is left questioning her place in Eywa's plan, and Miles is left fighting an impossible battle between paternal love and duty...

4. Once in a Blue Moon- an original story, Max and Annie Ellis move from Chicago to a small town in Rhode Island to start over and get away from Annie's controlling family. There's just one problem: Annie's a werewolf! When people start coming up missing and later dead, Max starts to suspect Annie may be sliding back on her "No Eating Humans" policy. Is it her? Or is there something even more sinister looking to draw Annie out?

[ashes-writing-corner]

Reblogging this for today yall ^^ still got a week to vote :D

Vote on my next story!

So with an influx of new readers with the help of Exile, I have a few ideas I want to do after I'm done with it. What I'm gonna do here is let YOU decide what I write next ^^ keep in mind I'm not big in a lot of these fandoms/movies so some details may be off when I do write them. Anyway: here are the summaries:

1. There In the Dark, There in my Heart- A Bloody Axe Wound fanfic, this story is a Butch Slater/OC fanfic that's also based on the song Trouble is a Friend by Lenka. Clover Falls is a town of many secrets, but no one suspects that the dog who walks the cemetery is in fact a hellhound. Until of course a particular diner themed serial killer has a run in with the towns oldest cemetery protector...

2. Papa Bear- A Walking Dead fanfic, Papa Bear is an AU where Negan reunites with a student he helped save back when he was a teacher. Octavia Blackwell and Negan Smith were close, some would've said too close. But their relationship wasn't at all like that. Via saw him like a second father and he saw her like his daughter. Years after being separated by the fall of the world, will they stand together or have they changed too much to see each other the way they once did? Found family trope central here guys.

3. The Death of Duty, the Death of Love- aaaand continuing to display my dad issues, this is a James Cameron Avatar fic. An AU of The Way of Water, Spider has a twin sister named Mina. Mina Socorro is somewhat friendly with the Sully family but understands she isn't entirely wanted amongst them by the adults. She tries to protect her brother but winds up getting them both captured by Recom Miles Quaritch. As Mina and Miles however start to connect, Mina is left questioning her place in Eywa's plan, and Miles is left fighting an impossible battle between paternal love and duty...

4. Once in a Blue Moon- an original story, Max and Annie Ellis move from Chicago to a small town in Rhode Island to start over and get away from Annie's controlling family. There's just one problem: Annie's a werewolf! When people start coming up missing and later dead, Max starts to suspect Annie may be sliding back on her "No Eating Humans" policy. Is it her? Or is there something even more sinister looking to draw Annie out?

[ashes-writing-corner]

Vote on my next story!

So with an influx of new readers with the help of Exile, I have a few ideas I want to do after I'm done with it. What I'm gonna do here is let YOU decide what I write next ^^ keep in mind I'm not big in a lot of these fandoms/movies so some details may be off when I do write them. Anyway: here are the summaries:

1. There In the Dark, There in my Heart- A Bloody Axe Wound fanfic, this story is a Butch Slater/OC fanfic that's also based on the song Trouble is a Friend by Lenka. Clover Falls is a town of many secrets, but no one suspects that the dog who walks the cemetery is in fact a hellhound. Until of course a particular diner themed serial killer has a run in with the towns oldest cemetery protector...

2. Papa Bear- A Walking Dead fanfic, Papa Bear is an AU where Negan reunites with a student he helped save back when he was a teacher. Octavia Blackwell and Negan Smith were close, some would've said too close. But their relationship wasn't at all like that. Via saw him like a second father and he saw her like his daughter. Years after being separated by the fall of the world, will they stand together or have they changed too much to see each other the way they once did? Found family trope central here guys.

3. The Death of Duty, the Death of Love- aaaand continuing to display my dad issues, this is a James Cameron Avatar fic. An AU of The Way of Water, Spider has a twin sister named Mina. Mina Socorro is somewhat friendly with the Sully family but understands she isn't entirely wanted amongst them by the adults. She tries to protect her brother but winds up getting them both captured by Recom Miles Quaritch. As Mina and Miles however start to connect, Mina is left questioning her place in Eywa's plan, and Miles is left fighting an impossible battle between paternal love and duty...

4. Once in a Blue Moon- an original story, Max and Annie Ellis move from Chicago to a small town in Rhode Island to start over and get away from Annie's controlling family. There's just one problem: Annie's a werewolf! When people start coming up missing and later dead, Max starts to suspect Annie may be sliding back on her "No Eating Humans" policy. Is it her? Or is there something even more sinister looking to draw Annie out?

[ashes-writing-corner]

No in between XD

[ashes-writing-corner]

Guys! I'm back with am update! Woooo!!!! So things are gonna get real for Ellen here soon ^^ but I won't spoil too much :) enjoy guys!

Taglist: @exactlyelegantwizard , @xenoanamorph , @hoeia-strigoi , @arwenkenobi48 , @xanth420 , @serpentdeath , @landlockedmermaid77, @uncensored-aj, @mypackpride, @whisperingwillowe, @sasksdemorg, @emimuart, @fern-and-bone, @enchantedchocolatebars, @disneyvillainsinlove, and @muchwita

If you want to be added to the taglist, please let me know either via comments or dm ^^ let's goooooo!!!!

Exile: A Nosferatu Fanfic

Chapter 15

All this time, I never learned to read your mind…(Never learned to read my mind…)

Ellen didn’t really know what to do with that revelation. Surely Orlok wasn’t that selfish? Was he? Thomas…her Thomas would’ve put her happiness first. Surely he would have. Ehre stayed close to her, as he always did, offering whatever comfort he could. The wolfhound wasn’t leaving her side any time soon.

“There has to be a way to see him again. Even just for a moment, for a day…anything” she pet him, gently running her hands through his thick black coat, “In a world where vampires, sorcerers, and the like exist…surely then ghosts do don’t they?”

But ghosts mostly haunted the places they died in, didn’t they? If Ellen was meant to be a ghost, surely she’d be there? So many questions haunted her. What was the world like now without her there? Was Thomas okay? Did she really do the right thing?

“Ehre…I have so much doubt, so much uncertainty. What am I to do? This will torture me more than any hell could”.

The wolf hound's ears flattened. He didn’t want his mistress tormented, but at the same time, if she went back to the living world, there was a chance she couldn’t make it back. Then the master would be the most unhappy he’d ever been. It was a no win situation on either end. Even so, Ellen deserved to know what had become of her beloved. He’d go with her, as he always did. Ehre would follow her to the ends of all the worlds if it meant she was safe and happy…

And Orlok knew that too. The count was looking through a few old books, some of his occult texts and some historical accounts. He wanted to fix this situation with Ellen. And as he looked through one particular text, Orlok had an idea.

“The Aztecs used black mirrors, Obsidian Mirrors, to communicate with the spirit world…” he read quietly aloud as his mind started to work.

Turning to another open book, the count flicked his wrist, willing the book to flip its own pages to open to a page about black mirrors. Solomonari used them often for scrying, to keep track of potential targets. But other magic users found other uses for them. Among these uses? Portals to other planes of existence…

Orlok let out a thoughtful growl. He had an obsidian mirror…somewhere. He just hadn’t used it in ages, literally. Usually black mirrors were used by younger magicians who were still learning the scrying craft, or for those who were interested in finding out about other worlds and existential planes.

If a mortal magician could use them to enter spiritual planes, it only made sense that they could still work in the Otherworld for the same purpose. Orlok rose from his seat, Durere and Intristare looking up from their spots under the desk and by one of the shelves respectively. The wolf hound's ears twitched, curious as to what their master was doing. Orlok scanned his many old shelves, his sharp eyes looking for a particular velvet bag he hadn’t seen in a long time. One he didn’t think he’d ever use again.

A blue velvet drawstring bag with his family’s seal on it. He found it, dusty as it was. He plucked it in his long clawed fingers, and held it in his hand.

“Found you, micul diavol…Seems you still have one use yet”.

Ellen was in her room still, reading a book of poems her mother used to read her when Ehre lifted his head from her lap. The other master was coming, along with Durere and Intristare. She looked to the door before he knocked, her heart racing.

“Come in” she told him.

The Count stepped into the room, along with the other two wolfhounds, holding what looked like a small blue bag of velvet. Ellen eyed it and then Orlok curiously.

“What is that?” she asked.

“A way for you to see your Thomas again” he told her.

Ellen blinked in surprise. “Wait, you…you found a way?”

Orlok nodded. “I did”.

“And you’re letting me?”

“I am”.

“And you’re trusting me to come back?”.

He took a breath at that. “I am trusting that you will, but I will understand if you have no desire to” Orlok opened the bag and held what looked like a flat, polished piece of black glass in his hand, “suflet mic..Micul meu suflet…this is what is called an Obsidian Mirror, or Black Mirror. For centuries and across continents, these have been used as portals, a way to explore other planes of existence, spiritual and otherwise, by magic users”.

“Like us?” she asked.

Orlok nodded. “Precisely. I set an enchantment to this, all you need to do is think of your Thomas, and the mirror will open a spiritual path to him. You will have a day to make a choice. You can stay in the mortal world with him, or return to me here in the Otherworld”.

Ellen looked at the mirror and then at him. “You’re really letting me make this choice?”

The count nodded once more. “It’s entirely up to you at the end of the day, literally”.

“And if I don’t make one?”

“You will be trapped in the world of the living, as most wayward spirits are”.

Ellen carefully took the mirror, looking at him once more. “Thank you…for trusting me with this. Only a day, but it’ll be enough. I just…I need to know”.

Orlok shook his head. “You don’t need to explain yourself to me, dragul meu…Do what you feel you need to do. I will come when the day is over and await your choice. I will not push you to decide. It will be up to you”.

Ellen nodded, her eyes gentle. “Thank you. I’ll have my choice at the end of the day, I swear it”.

He bowed his head. “Of course. I will leave you to it…”

With that, he turned to leave with the other two hounds as Ellen sat on the bed with the black mirror. She pet Ehre softly.

“I’m going to see him again. I’m going to see Thomas…my Thomas…”.

She held the mirror in her hands, closed her eyes and focused on the face of her beloved, all that she remembered of him. Their home, their time together. Warmth overtook her, greater than she had felt in ages, and Ellen felt herself fall into the inky black of the mirror, feeling so small, so very insignificant, and yet…the warmth remained…

“I’m coming. Hold on Thomas…I’m coming back…back to you”.

As I said it's about to get real now yall! How will Thomas react? How is the world changed? Only time will tell...literally! If you wanna see more feel free to follow me! And as always like, comment, and of course reblog! Yall are amazing and I love you ^^ <3

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Iron God Chapter 68 [Ami]

In the weeks following her second ascension, Ami drowned in life. It was no small thing to feel again after so many years sapped dry by Valielit. She still felt as if she hardly had time or energy to process any of it, not with nearly everyone needing her help.

She let herself into the girls’ room and found them just as unnaturally silent as they’d been since the attack. Kolo sat up on her bed, white hair unkempt and blanket hanging loosely around her shoulders. She acknowledged Ami with only a brief glance. Lalek was asleep, shivering despite her blanket and the rooms’ warmth.

After a moment, Channei turned the desk chair to face Ami. “Hey. I got Kolo to eat earlier but Lalek still won’t.”

Ami nodded. “And yourself?”

“I’m fine,” Channei insisted.

“Mm-hm.” Ami cast a long, deliberate look at the bowl of untouched stew on the desk. “Well, Azvalath and I worked hard on that, so eat up.”

That caught Kolo’s attention. “How is Aza?”

“A little outta’ sorts, but who isn’t right now?” Ami went over and sat at the end of Kolo’s bed. “How about you? How’re you feeling today?”

Kolo stretched her arms out. “I feel like there are a million stinging little bugs under my skin.”

Ami took out her notebook and scribbled that down. “Any new pain?”

She shook her head.

“And mentally?” Ami asked.

Kolo raised an eyebrow. “Huh?”

Ami leaned closer and softened her tone. “Are you sure you’re feeling all right?”

Kolo backed up. “Why do you keep asking me that?”

“Well, considering what happened…” Ami pursed her lips. “It would be a first.”

Kolo turned away from her, shoulders tensed. She’d insisted day after day that she didn’t feel much different from before, and indeed, there was no physical sign to indicate otherwise. But Ami couldn’t fully believe that, not with what she’d already seen time and time again.

Monitor closely. She underlined those two words and moved on to Lalek.

Lalek’s eyes cracked open as Ami approached. She was shivering and sweating through her blanket, and her skin was deathly pale.

“Hey.” Ami pulled the blanket back. “Heard you didn’t eat. Is it still hard to swallow?”

“Yeah.” Lalek’s voice came out a thin croak. Her hand drifted up to claw at her bandaged neck.

Ami grabbed her wrist. “Don’t mess with it, dear.”

Lalek wiped her mouth with her other hand. “Sorry.”

“Hey, I just don’t want you tearing your stitches.” Ami dropped her tote next to Lalek’s bed. “I’ll check ‘em while I change your bandages, all right?”

“Yeah.” Lalek’s voice was still weak and breathy. She winced as Ami started to unwrap the bandages, but made a clear effort to stay as still as she could.

The sound of Channei sobbing made them both pause.

Ami tried to focus only on the task at hand, but it soon became impossible, and she snapped. “Channei, that’s enough.”

“I’m still not mad at you,” Lalek added, with all the volume she could muster. “Please believe me.”

Ami shuddered as she exposed the wound. Channei’s jaws with some animal’s teeth had ripped Lalek’s throat open, only sparing her life by sheer dumb luck or maybe some tiny fragment of Channei’s mind that had resisted Valielit. The stitches still held, but the skin around them was so red and angry it still looked like an open wound.

“How bad is it?” Lalek choked out.

Ami pursed her lips. “Hard to know right now.” It was a lie, of course. Lalek would be lucky to survive with permanent damage. But she couldn’t say that out loud, not now.

“Lalek’s never going to get better and it’ll have been my fault, right?” Channei snarled from across the room. “Right, Ami?”

Ami ignored her and rebandaged the wound. Lalek once again tried her best to stay still, but her face bore a clear grimace. She could understand Channei’s upset, but it wouldn’t help anything. She’d have to ignore it.

“Channei, you know that isn’t true.” Kolo stood up. “It wasn’t you, not really.”

“But that monster, she used me!” Channei slammed her fist into the desk. “She made me do things I would never do. She made me helpless. It was…”

“It was the most intimate and personal violation you’ve ever known.” Ami made eye contact with Channei and stated bluntly what they both knew. “I get it.”

Everyone’s eyes were on her, then.

“I put up with it for all that time first because I thought I could help her.” Ami shook her head. “By the time I realized there wasn’t even a person under that cute facade, I still figured it was better if it were me getting whittled down instead of someone else.”

Kolo grumbled. “Fuck that.”

Ami jolted. “What?”

“Fuck that!” Kolo threw her blanket off. “Did it save anyone at the end of the day?”

“You’re all still alive.” Ami’s brow tensed in a scowl. “Which is a shock, but I’ll take it.” She gathered up the old bandages and sniffed them. The smells of blood, sweat, fear, and an unwelcome growth tangled together in her nostrils. “Hmm, have you ever considered what horrid havoc some living things can unleash without you even knowing their existence?”

The question seemed to catch Kolo by enough surprise that her tone softened. “Huh?”

“Kolo, if you want everyone to stay alive, you’ve gotta focus your nerves where it matters.” She gave Lalek’s arm a pat and leaned in to whisper. “You know what I think?”

Lalek cracked one eye back open.

Ami dropped her voice even quieter. “I think your roommates have even worse manners than me.”

That elicited a wheezing giggle.

“I’ll be back this evening. I’ve got three instructions for you ‘til then.” Ami spoke a little louder so everyone could hear. “First, let me know immediately if there’s a new problem.”

Lalek nodded. Channei gave a thumbs-up. Kolo rolled her eyes.

“Second, Lalek, I know it hurts to swallow, but I need you to try your best to eat and drink on your own.” She sighed. “I don’t want to have to force you.”

“Yeah,” Lalek choked out. Her eyelids fluttered.

“Last, and critically,” Ami stood up and addressed all of them. “If I come back to find this room on fire, I’m roasting you over it for supper.”

The girls’ tension snapped like a rope pulled too taut. All three of them burst out in wild laughter. Ami caught herself chuckling too, in a way that felt warmer than anything had in ages. With that, she gathered up her things and left.

Once outside the room, she took another whiff of Lalek’s discarded bandages. When the unwelcome growth whispered back, her heart beat faster. She gleaned its taste for decay and its dislike of sharing. Another sniff and she knew its urge to spread, to conquer, and its fear of mold.

The last bit took her by surprise to hear again. Since her second ascension, she’d learned it from many an imperceptibly tiny thing, that a simple food-spoiling mold was to them what Kaosaan was to the minds of Ferash Therall.

Ami carried on with a slight bounce in her step, and she couldn’t resist asking what this pest knew of Kaosaan.

When she didn’t get any satisfying answer, her eyebrows furrowed. When it returned the question, she withheld all she knew and willed herself to focus. Find the invader’s enemy and snatch up its weapons to save Lalek. That was all that mattered.

Her eyes watered again. Irritated, she wiped them dry.

“Since when were you the one in control?”

At first, she thought the voice was in her head. Maybe some lingering nightmare of her treasured, hated Magpie. But when the voice carried on, she stopped near Xigon’s closed door to eavesdrop.

“Don’t forget where we came from, child.” The old woman’s voice dripped with vitriol. “I’ve treated you as my equal, but I don’t need to keep doing that if you don’t keep our promises.”

Ami backed into the wall. She’d never heard such chilling cruelty in anyone’s words, much less Qila’s.

“Do you understand, Xigon?”

Silence.

“Good.”

Ami tiptoed back a ways and timed her steps carefully, to make it look like she was just arriving as Qila stepped out of Xigon’s study. She reflected the old woman’s warm smile back at her. “Master Qila, hello.”

“Hello, Ami.” Qila waved. “You’re looking well. I’m glad to see it.”

“Me too.” Ami chuckled. “Ah, don’t let me keep you. You must be busy.”

Much to Ami’s relief, Qila nodded and left.

Ami clutched her stomach as it lurched with dread.

She tried again to focus her thoughts only on what mattered, but she rapidly found more than one thing mattered. And before she could protest, she caught herself shoving her way into Xigon’s study.

He sat at his desk, still and quiet, only a slight stiffness in his shoulders betraying any sensation. His eyes darted toward her, then back down.

“I have an idea for how to proceed with Lalek’s treatment,” she told him. “Kolo appears largely unaffected still.”

There was a slight twitch in his fingers. “You’re certain of that?”

“As far as I’ve observed.” Ami let out a sigh. “Master, what just happened?”

He straightened and turned to face her. Then she saw the thin red cut splitting his right eyebrow.

Ami took a deep breath. “Did Qila do that?”

Xigon’s expression stayed flat.

“Well, anyway, I…” Ami scratched her cheek. “Sorry. I don’t understand how it doesn’t hurt you at all.”

He blinked. “It does hurt.”

That rare candid admission was such a sharp blow that Ami’s eyes watered again.

Xigon leaned his elbows into his knees. “Don’t cry for me, Ami.”

“I’ve been bound up long enough, Master.” Ami wiped her eyes, seething. “I’ll cry if I damn well feel like it.”

She drowned in the flood of feeling until he wrapped his arms around her. It was a shock, how different his embrace was from Magpie’s. Not controlling her thoughts, only giving her refuge.

After a moment, he released her. “Your report on Lalek, please.”

The flatness of his tone made her erupt laughing even faster than she’d been moved to tears before. The growing pains of an untethered mind, how odd. “I’m concerned that she still has so much trouble swallowing.”

Xigon’s hand drifted up toward his own neck and he grimaced slightly, as if he were imagining himself in Lalek’s place. “Let me know next time you’re going to see her. I’ll come with you.”

Ami nodded. “You know her better, anyway.” She looked at Xigon’s cluttered desk. “You’re still reading that same old scrap-stack?”

With a slight spark in his eyes, he pulled the book closer to him. “Not quite the same, no.” He opened it and turned to the text’s last pages. “Can you read this, Ami?”

Ami squinted down at the page. Though she recognized the markings on the parchment as writing, it wasn’t in any language or structure she recognized. “Nope, can’t read a word.”

“That’s quite interesting.” He underlined a passage with his finger. “Because until very recently, I couldn’t read it either.”

Ami cocked her head. “Well, you mind reading me the first page, at least?

His fingers trembled over the page just long enough for Ami to notice, then he spoke in a tremulous voice. “Beneath, I saw. Beyond, within, with all wisdom and without reason. What the ghost-pipe whispers to the greenery withering above — receive these blessings, small one, and Her way is yours.”

Xigon locked eyes with her, then, and his gaze chilled her every nerve. “The first Sacrament She bestows is of the Sight. The hunters need no longer stalk nor lure, for their Sight draws them now from the deepest recesses,” he recited, clearly from memory. “Dread and death imminent shall compel the blessed, to dream only of the coming feast.”

Ami’s jaw clenched.

“It’s an odd thing to call the likes of us, is it not?” Xigon leaned back. “Blessed.”

Blessed.

Like it was some kind of gift.

“This was what Kiiri spent her last days writing. But it wasn’t a story of something old or something she made up.” He turned to the very last page, to an image of Kaosaan’s ravenous maw.

“This must be how she imagined everything comes undone.”

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Do you ship Ellen and Thomas?

I kind of do, as in I see the appeal of normalcy in Thomas that Ellen saw. And Thomas isn't a bad dude, far from. But honestly I don't think he was meant for Ellen. Not truly. He didn't fully "get" her if you understand, and that's fine. He was only a dude who didn't live in the world where he thought he did.

All this to say, I don't personally ship Thomas and Ellen, but I do see the appeal of the ship story wise. If that makes sense!

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https://www.tumblr.com/ashes-writing-corner/779406725322342400/will-ellen-see-thomas-again-in-the-story?source=share Closure as in her letting go of those two and getting with Orlok? I assume she and Orlok will be a thing / already are in a way in the end.

Yep exactly. This is a Lilac Fang story after all ^^

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Will Ellen see Thomas again in the story?

Yep! I'm trying to plan for a way to get her back to the world of the living, where she'll get to see Thomas again, and possibly even Von Franz again because I think if anyone would be able to see ghosts, it'd probably be him.

Orloks had his closure, now Ellen needs hers. It's just getting there that I'm trying to figure out ^^

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Hi guys! I'm back with an update for yall! ^-^ oh the story's far from over...faaaar from over! Been working on it when I can while also working on my book, so hence a delay in updates. At least I feel like there's been a delay in updates. Anyway! I hope you guys like it ^^

Taglist: @exactlyelegantwizard , @xenoanamorph , @hoeia-strigoi , @arwenkenobi48 , @xanth420 , @serpentdeath , @landlockedmermaid77, @uncensored-aj, @mypackpride, @whisperingwillowe, @sasksdemorg, @emimuart, @fern-and-bone, and @enchantedchocolatebars

If you want to be added to the taglist, please let me know via comment or dm! Enjoy!

Exile: A Nosferatu Fanfic

Chapter 14

You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs!)

The day was spent out in the snow, enjoying the clean, cold air of winter that felt oddly more cozy here than it ever did in the mortal world. Ellen began to notice something else: The Otherworld seemed to be reflecting them and their own moods and mental states. It was more than a place of memories, but of feelings and thoughts as well, like it manifested everything they felt.

They returned to the castle in all its warmth, another reflection of how they were currently feeling. A fur blanket was laid out in front of the fireplace, along with two warm cups of tea. Ellen recognized the cups and pot right away.

“Oh…these…they were my mother’s” she sat with him, her eyes soft as she recognized them, “They were passed down to me after her passing. I haven’t seen them in so long it feels…”.

Orlok sat next to her, holding the small cup in his much bigger hands delicately. His claw-like nails lightly tapped on the glass that made it up in an almost musical fashion. He looked at the cup and then at her.

“I can barely remember mine…my mother” he told her.

Ellen looked at him, a soft frown on her face. “I’m so sorry…What happened to her?”

“She passed away when I was a boy. Consumption I believe” Orlok answered, looking into the flames contemplatively.

“I’m so sorry. Mama passed much the same, of a severe fever. I knew it was going to happen…one of the few signs that you were right. That I wasn’t for humankind. I did wonder for a long time what exactly you meant by that when you told me”.

“Exactly what I said. You weren’t for humankind”.

“But how did you know exactly? Besides me…waking you?”

“Well that was the first sign of course. You’re powerful, suflet mic. More so than most people think. Not too many first time magic users can wake the dead”.

“I can imagine. What I don’t understand is how I was able to reach out to you…but not anyone else”.

“I think that has something to do with the Crossroads…do you remember it? That world between…”.

Ellen nodded taking a sip of her warm tea. “I was never able to access that again, no matter how hard I tried. I wanted to see what, who else was there. I had hoped to see my mother”.

Orlok looked thoughtful for a moment. “I believe our souls were always entwined, in some sort of alignment. Fate, or whatever higher power drew us in, they saw we were alike. Perhaps looking for the same thing”.

Ellen gazed at him, her eyes soft as ever. “What do you think that was?”

He turned to her, his own dark eyes gentle. “Someone to comfort us, to bring us some semblance of peace. Aggressive as I was, you did give me that”.

She nodded. “At least now I know the source of that aggression. I feel so stupid, now that I know it feels so obvious”.

He put his hand over hers on the fur. “You’re not stupid. Not in the slightest, dragul meu. You never have been. I just…didn’t tell you. Couldn’t bring myself to. I didn’t feel like I deserved to feel that…that festering grief”.

Ellen entwined her fingers with his. “And now?”.

Orlok looked down at their hands. “Now I feel…different. Whole. Complete. Like I don’t have to let it fester anymore. I can feel how I feel and not be considered lesser for it”.

Ellen took his hand and brought it to her lips gently, unoffended by the texture of his skin against her mouth. “You aren’t lesser for having feelings, Orlok. You’re just…a person. And sometimes, being a person is hard. I think that’s what life has taught me. Just…being a human being is difficult”.

“I suppose it is…Life can be so complex and yet its so fragile” Orlok tried to ignore the fluttering in his chest after Ellen kissed his hand.

She was painfully sweet, as she always was. Another reason to love her, as if he needed any more reason to. That was something he hadn’t thought of in a while: what exactly were they to each other now? Sure their covenant stated they were lovers but…was that what she wanted? If she had the chance to go back, to be with Thomas again, or even to see him, would Ellen take that chance? Would she leave him in this lifeless place? The temptation to ask was strong, but knew he had to resist for now. He wanted to win her properly, not just because they were bound.

He wanted Ellen to love him. Love him like she loved Thomas. Like he was growing to love her.

“You cannot love” she had hissed at him once.

“I cannot…yet I cannot be sated without you” he had replied…

Oh how wrong he’d been. How deep that denial ran. How foolish was he to think he could keep his heart from her, anymore than she could keep hers from him…

“Ellen…If I could…ask you something?” he looked at the flames again, not daring to look at her.

Ellen blinked. “Anything. What is it? Is something wrong?”

“Could you ever be…no, are you happy here? With me?”

She was genuinely taken aback by the question. Ellen wouldn’t consider herself unhappy here, especially not with him here too. But at the same time…

“I don’t think I’m unhappy but…I do miss Thomas. I wonder how he is. If he misses me. If…if he’s even still alive after…” Ellen looked down feeling ashamed, “I left him alone”.

“You shouldn’t feel guilty. He was holding you back” Orlok said bitterly.

“I understand you don’t like him, but regardless of whether or not he was holding me back, I loved him. I married him”.

“You married to get a semblance of normalcy. For a taste of what your life would be if you weren’t what you are” Orlok argued.

“Don’t throw that at me when you technically did the same thing with me. If you think about it”.

“That’s not necessarily true-”

Ellen turned to him with a brow raised as if to say “seriously?”. Orlok sighed and shook his head.

“I wanted to be free, suflet mic. Same as you did. But from the curse I was given. Sadly it required that I take you down with me. We were, are, bound. We always will be. We both made that choice”.

“Can I ask you something?” Ellen’s face went serene but with a curious edge.

“You answered me truthfully. Go ahead”.

“If the Covenant didn’t require me to die with you, would you have left me with Thomas?” she looked him in the eyes.

Oh…oh no he wasn’t expecting that. Would he have left her? Would he have just faced the sun himself, faced that finality alone? Perhaps it was a choice born from fear, or from selfishness, Orlok didn’t know. But he knew the answer…

“No. I wouldn’t have. You were always meant to be mine. And I would’ve made sure that pathetic mouse of a man would’ve known” he said with a growl, his hand clenching at the thought.

“I see…So my happiness wouldn’t have mattered to you?”.

“I never said that” he looked at her pointedly, shaking his head.

Ellen stood with a frown. “You said it indirectly. I’d give anything to see Thomas again…Even for a day”.

Orlok watched as she turned to leave, an ache in his chest where the warm fluttering once was. Dammit…dammit he had been so, so close…so damn close…

The count looked down at the tea cup he was holding. His long clawed hands trembled around the small thing. In his anger at himself, he threw it at a nearby wall. Again, whether his choice was born from selfishness or fear was anyone’s guess…

But he had not, would not have, faced the sun without her…

Never…

If you guys enjoyed, please consider liking, commenting, and of course reblogging! Please follow if you wanna see more! I post both fanfiction and original works ^^. thank you for your continued support and don't forget to be awesome! ^-^

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So I have an original story idea I wanna do at some point and I'd really like to hear what you guys think. If you'd read it let me know.

Basically it's a bit of slice of life story about a couple who moves to a new small city for a better business opportunity. The husband is a writer, and he's super sweet and supportive, loves his wife with all he has. The wife is a baker, and is starting her own Cafe and bakery. She's her husband's biggest fan and support, reads all of his books (from the first draft and beyond), and is all around loving and adorable! The couple has a secret: the wife is a werewolf and her man is human. The real reason they moved was to get away from her pack, who were expecting her to turn her man, but he doesn't want to be a werewolf and she loves him enough to respect his wishes.

A little bit of drama, Romantic comedy, slice of life, and supernatural all rolled into one...

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Me: (posts the most recent chapter of Exile)

My brain: so...about that Bloody Axe Wound fic...

Me: oh my gods brain, are we seriously still on this bullshit?!

Brain: yes! We need to plan for the future! The world needs to know about Butch and his hellhound girlfriend!

Me: .....

My brain: ^_^

Me: -.-

Me: I don't think the world is ready for that brain...

My brain: type it anyway! For the fun! Because you care!

Me: (utterly defeated) fine....

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Hey guys! I'm back with a new update for yall ^^ this ones a bit light hearted after all the heavy stuff but I hope you love it anyway ^^

Taglist: @exactlyelegantwizard , @xenoanamorph , @hoeia-strigoi , @arwenkenobi48 , @xanth420 , @serpentdeath , @landlockedmermaid77, @uncensored-aj, @mypackpride, @whisperingwillowe, @sasksdemorg, @emimuart , @fern-and-bone, @enchantedchocolatebars

Also can I just say that I love how most of you are programmed into my phone! I barely have to look at my list anymore! If you wanna be added to the list, please let me know via comment or dm ^^

Exile: A Nosferatu Fanfic

Chapter 13

All this time, we always walked a very thin line. You didn’t even hear me out (Didn’t even hear me out…)

The next few days were spent in a sort of in between of emotions. It was both comfortable and awkward. How else was one supposed to feel when the object of one’s affection saw them at their most raw, their most vulnerable? But…Ellen hadn’t judged him for it. Far from it. She had been there helping, supporting, and caring. Orlok didn’t feel as haunted anymore. Lighter? Maybe…but not exactly. Close to it but not quite yet. Things were steady to say the least.

She once again went out on the grounds to spend some time with the dogs out in the snow. Ehre joined her, as always, his tail wagging happily as Ellen tried again to build a snowman. The world around her no longer looked so…barren. Sure color was fleeting still, but there was something that felt more bearable about it. This other world no longer felt so oppressive. She felt almost alive again.

One of the dogs surprised her with something she hadn’t seen since she was very little. Durere came out of what looked like the store house dragging something and Ellen recognized it right away: A sled that she used to ride around on, either pulled by the family dog or by her father. Going down hills on it was one of her favorite winter pastimes.

“Durere…where did you find this?” Ellen came over and pet the wolfhound before looking it over.

The sled was old, the paint was nearly gone, chipped off despite not having been touched in years. She remembered what Orlok said about this Otherworld. It was a place of memories, both good and bad. Which made her wonder…where were her bad memories? Most of the memories she found here were good ones, happy ones. Small things from her childhood and from her marriage with Thomas. Her life wasn’t all that happy…was it? Sure maybe compared to Orlok’s it was less tragic, but still…

It wasn’t that she was ungrateful for her good memories, but a part of her felt like she should be having bad memories herself. Be it from her parent’s or even her own death, reminders of Thomas and the life she wanted with him. Perhaps she had lived too short a time for seriously unhappy memories to manifest. It was definitely something to think of.

In the meantime though, she decided to hold on to the good she had. “How about we go sledding once I’m done with this, hm?” Ellen asked the canine trio.

The wolfhounds wagged their tails and barked happily. Ellen smiled and gave them all pets and hugs. They were good dogs, and she loved them a lot. Though she did in fact miss Greta a lot, she was happy to have the trio. So focused she was on the dogs she didn’t notice when Orlok came out in his usual large coat and warm hat, a hint of a smile, a genuine one, on his face.

“And what is that you found?” he asked, looking at the sled.

“Oh! Good morning Orlok!” Ellen greeted him cheerily, “Oh Durere found it. It’s a sled from my childhood. I used to go sledding with papa and our dogs every year when there was a lot of snow. Sometimes I’d ride around town while papa did business. It was so much fun!”.

Orlok raised a brow. “Hm…”.

“I know fun isn’t really your whole…thing. But…If we can find a bigger one, we can take the dogs and maybe go sledding together! They really want to do it”.

The hounds barked enthusiastically, their tails wagging as they nuzzled Ellen. They whined affectionately, and Orlok knew he was outnumbered. With an exaggerated irritated look, he finally relented.

“Fine...we’ll go sledding…”.

Ellen came over and kissed his cheek. “Thank you. Today I don’t want you worrying about anything but letting yourself loose. You’re not bound by the laws of our old world. It’s just us. No one will judge us”.

Orlok was just taken aback that she had kissed him willingly. Sure, she did the night before they both died but something about her initiating it just…damn. It made something in him warm and stir again. Ellen turned to continue her snowman, but held her hand, making her turn back to him. Orlok kissed her knuckles softly.

“Would you…maybe…like some help with that?” he dared to ask, after the last time…

Ellen smiled softly. “I think that’d be lovely. Thank you”.

He let her go and they started to work together on the snowman this time. This time, he was a lot more cooperative. Ellen noticed slowly that he was indeed beginning to loosen up, only using a little magic to help put the middle ball together. Grinning slyly, Ellen got an idea. She made a smaller one, and tossed it at his back. Orlok went straight back and glanced at Ellen, only for her to turn away, whistling an “unsuspecting” tune. The count raised a brow, knowing damn well she threw it.

“Do not start things you cannot finish, little sylph” he warned with a playful hint in his tone.

“I didn’t start anything” Ellen tried to keep herself from laughing, but was failing miserably with a grin.

Orlok flicked his hand and a perfectly round snowball appeared in his claws. “Are you quite certain of that?”.

Ellen giggled. “Orlok, don’t you-”

She didn’t get to finish as he tossed it right at her, hitting her side, not hard thankfully, as the ball turned to powder when it hit her. Ellen gave him a playful glare. Oh it was on now, absolutely. Ellen made another and threw it at him, hitting him in the chest.

“Face is off limits” Ellen set a rule.

“I can agree to that” he chuckled, “So that’s one and one…or are we playing until one gives?”

“Point system. If either misses we miss the point. More than once, you lose one”.

He considered that a moment but nodded. “The term is fair. Now…” Orlok made another, “Start running”.

Ellen laughed and got up to run, the snowman all but forgotten with this new game. The dogs ran with her as if they too were joining the game. And they were in their own way, chasing after snowballs as if they could catch them, which made them both laugh. Ellen missed this, this playfulness that made her feel alive again.

As they warred, they didn’t notice that something had started to bloom by the castle walls: A beautiful white flower that was rare from his home country. A patch of Carpathian Bellflowers began to rise and bloom in a hidden corner, despite the snowy conditions…

A shorty but a goody I hope ^^ might do a couple more light hearted chapters, give you guys some space to breathe and give these guys a chance to formally fall in love a little before going back to the living world in a little while ^^ if you enjoyed please consider liking, commenting, and reblogging! Wanna see more from me? Please bless me with a follow! Keeps me going! Much love to you guys ^-^

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Iron God Chapter 67 [Xigon]

Frenzied with the draw of an imperiled soul – of prey, he now knew –  Xigon had no more concern for himself. Even as his hands shook and his heart raced, he kept his focus. His body’s panic was a mere reflex, nothing worth holding him back. 

Then Kolo wrested the Rager dart from his fingers and jabbed it into her own neck.

It was as if the ground fell out from under him. Xigon threw himself down to Kolo’s side and tried to grab the dart back, but the damage was already done. No. No. This couldn’t be happening. Cold sweat washed over him. This couldn’t be happening. 

It should have been him. Xigon was used to the worst. He could handle it, very well deserved it even. Kolo, however, there was no reason she should have —

No. Kolo was doing exactly what he would have done.

Nothing like a mirror to show something’s truly hideous, Qila used to say. 

He hunched forward, feeling heavy all of a sudden. The draw of prey tightened, Kaosaan’s breaths as hot and frantic as his own. He tensed every muscle and refused to move, refused to look away from Kolo as she finished what he had started.

Kolo’s fingers glowed fiercely white as she wrapped them around what remained of Valielit’s jaw, tipping the monster’s head up to meet her eyes. The girl’s expression wasn’t one of rage or passion, but of stone-cold focus. 

The creature tried to squirm away, but she held it firm and stared straight into its remaining eye. White flames and black ink curled around its mangled limbs. And it screamed.

In all his battles, had he ever heard a scream like that? 

The worst part was, when the abomination ceased to exist, the cry didn’t fall silent. It became Kolo’s. 

The blaze and the dark tendrils vanished with all traces of Valielit. Eternity burned up in barely a blink, without even a split second’s quiet.

Kolo crumpled to the floor, weeping bloody tears as she clawed at her own fiery eyes. She took a huge gasping breath and hazarded a look at Xigon.

“I want to go home!” Her voice came out warped, sounding half like her own and half like Vraelen’s. “Please, please…”

Xigon blinked away tears of his own. “You are home.” 

Empty words. He knew these halls could never feel safe again for anyone. Just as Qila’s embrace could never soothe him again. 

“I don’t want to die.” Kolo backed away from him. “Please, I can’t…I can’t…!”

Her words shocked him, a cruel echo. They shared this curse now. He kept his eyes on her even though it felt like staring at the sun. He felt he had no right to look away. 

Her pupils dilated and her whole body shuddered as he retrieved his crutches. Straining, he stood up. She flinched back and threw her fists up. “Stop!”

“Kolo.” He looked down at her small, trembling form. “Why?”

“Why what?” Her voice distorted more as she snarled at him. 

“I was going to take it!” He snapped, startled at his own emotion. “If you’d let me, I would have—”

“ —not stopped with Valielit.” Kolo cut him off. She took a huge strangled breath and half-laughed, half-sobbed. “And you’re gonna lose me now too, aren’t you? How does that feel?” 

As she spoke, his pulse quickened with the draw of looming death. Xigon swallowed hard, nausea dredging a pit in his stomach. “Kolo, the Rager.” He scorned the tremor in his own voice. “You have to destroy it.”

“Why should I?” Kolo backed into a corner and sat down. Her heat was still white-hot, but flickering now. “Maybe I want to disappear.”

Xigon came to her side and crouched down to her level. “If that’s true, why are you afraid?” 

“You should know.” Her head snapped toward him, and for a moment he felt he wasn’t being judged by Kolo alone. “Because you’re here.”

“Kolo, listen to me.” He softened his tone back into the illusion of calm. “I won’t tell you you’re wrong to feel whatever you do, but I’ll urge you not to repeat my failures.”

Her eyes glazed a little. He caught the back of her head as it lolled back, jarring her back toward consciousness. She gasped.

“And I’ll urge you not to let me remain the one in control,” he pressed. 

Kolo’s chin sank toward her chest, each breath she took a clear struggle. “What?”

There. He’d found the key. 

“There may come a day when I can’t block Kaosaan’s wisdom out any longer.” Xigon leaned down to whisper. “And I’ll need you to do what the Iron God can’t. Remember?”

She gave a barely discernible nod and choked out that she would try. Then she fell silent and crumpled against him. He caught her and pulled her into a tight embrace. Her eyes flashed purple, almost white, then squeezed shut as she fought an impossible battle.

Holding her, it ached how small she was.

His body screamed with pain as he lifted her up. Each step toward the kitchen door threatened to be his last. For her sake, he tried to endure it. He didn’t have much of a choice.

Xigon only made it as far as the hallway before folding to his knees. He sat there with her, offering what meager pain relief he could through his touch. He wished he could do more. She’d done so much for them. It wasn’t fair.

He waited for what felt like hours, but might have only been a few minutes, until someone else found them.

He looked up and Ami stood there, her soul now fully and impossibly bright. Xigon choked back a sob. Had that glow always been there, and so radiant under all that rot?

Ami adjusted her lichen-crusted hat and knelt down to Kolo’s side. “Thank you, Kolo. I’ll never know how to repay you.” She stroked the girl’s white hair. “Just come back to us when you’re done, all right? Come right back and we’ll be waiting.”

Ami’s eyes watered as she turned her gaze to Xigon. “Master.”

Xigon bowed his head. “Ami.”

“I’m sorry.” Tears spilled down her cheeks. “For all of it.”

Xigon didn’t respond.

“I’ll take care of Kolo from here,” she choked. “I’ll make sure she lives. It’s the least I can do.”

He let Ami pull Kolo from his arms and watched them leave.

When he realized he could no longer feel the draw of anyone at the edge of death, his relief and exhaustion were so profound he fell asleep right there on the cold floor.

(I can’t, I can’t…)

That cruel echo carried into the dark with him, and for maybe the first time in his life, Xigon was aware of dreaming.

He sat at the edge of an ink-dark sea and dug his hands into eerily luminous sand. It flowed through his fingers, cold as ice.

By his side, the husk of the soul he’d taken stirred slightly. A skeletal hand clawed at his wrist.

“We placed it all on her shoulders, even though she’s so small.” Xigon locked their fingers together. “No wonder this happens. It’s what we deserve.”