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aperrywilliams · 4 months

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That Wasn't Fake (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)

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Author Masterlist

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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader.

Request: Can you write a Spencer fic where the reader is kind of quiet and shy when she begins working at the BAU, and Spencer has a crush on her, and then they have a case, and she has to like to seduce the unsub lowkey and everyone kind of like...how is she going to do this shes not very outgoing but when she does shes really good at it, and everyone is surprised and impressed.

Summary: You're shy and reserved. Spencer has a crush on you, and unbeknown to him, you have a crush on him. Maybe the cat can get out of the bag when you have to step aside of your comfort zone to catch an elusive unsub.

Word Count: 4.2k (no self control here)

Warnings: Words like 'fuck' and 'bitch'. A rant about self-doubt. Typical CM stuff: unsubs, killings, etc.

A/N: Another request I loved! It should have been a little shorter, but I'm having a hard time getting to the point these days. Please keep sending requests!

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Spencer knows it is inappropriate, but he can't help it. You're coworkers, and that itself sets a boundary, so he shouldn't be thinking of trespassing.

But the crush he has on you seems to grow every day.

He doesn't know if it is your beautiful smile, the kindness you show in everything you do, or the enthusiasm you put into every task you are committed to. Since the moment he saw you pass the bullpen glass doors, Spencer knew he was damned.

From that moment, Spencer knew he wanted to know you and learn everything about you. About what you liked, what you hated, and what your fears and dreams were. Everything.

But not much after that revelation in his mind, he understood it wasn't going to be easy to get to you.

You were extremely shy and reserved.

In fact, your first interaction - when Emily introduced you both - consisted of a wave of your hand and a timid 'nice to meet you.'

He thought as time went by, you would loosen and become less bashful and quiet. And in part, he was right. As the months passed, you began to feel more comfortable within the team. You laughed at Luke's jokes, you commented on Rossi's stories, and you could even - when the stars aligned - crack a joke yourself to Tara or Matt.

But beyond that, no one knew much about your life outside of the BAU, unlike JJ, who always talks about her kids and her husband, or Matt, who talks about his kids, too. Or Tara, who recounts her failed dates. Or the same Luke who always shows photos of Roxy.

You, on the other hand, seemed to be an enigma. But Spencer Reid loved decoding enigmas.

At first, he turned his interest in you out of mere scientific curiosity. However, internally, he knew it wasn't just that.

It started with small random questions about the times you worked together: Is this coffee okay? What was the last book you read? Do you think we should buy some donuts for the team?

If you were honest, it picked your interest why, from all people, Dr. Spencer Reid was so adamant in making conversation with you.

From what you knew and from what the team said, Spencer was not a person very interested in things other than work or books. But suddenly, out of nowhere, he asked you what the last movie you saw was or something like that.

You always answered his questions; however, you would have liked to be much more talkative and engage in longer conversations, but your nature stopped you.

'What if I don't have anything more interesting for him to say?'

'Does he just talk to me because he feels sorry for me?'

And that was the big issue: you have never had problems with the way you live your life. You're pretty satisfied with what you do in your job and out of it, too. But you have always thought you are too 'simple' to entertain people's interest.

And to be honest, being surrounded by people with so much experience and big things happening in their lives still intimidates you a bit. So, you usually refrain from talking too much about yourself or anything for that matter.

But with Spencer, things are a bit different. He's always checking on you but respects your boundaries. He has learned that sometimes you just don't want to talk, and he doesn't push.

Despite his interest beyond the professional, Spencer would never do anything to make you uncomfortable. Being able to share time with you will have to be enough for him.

In a way, he has become your protector. He is your backup during interrogations or in situations where you can feel awkward, like the times when some police officers tried to flirt with you and got too close. Sure, you know how to turn them down, but sometimes guys don't get the memo and keep pushing. You're too shy to yell or be aggressive about it.

The team also understands the way you are, and they know it does not make you any less professional. However, they have always been careful not to take you too much out of your comfort zone.

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A whole two weeks and five murders later, the team is stuck trying to catch an unsub who has preferences for killing women after club nights. The profile says he is not interested in just any woman but in those between 25-30 years old who like to flirt with several men in the clubs. But it is not just any type of flirting; it is the type that is initiated and dominated by them. In short, he likes to kill women who are the opposite of submissive. He sees them as predators on a hunting ground.

Another finding in victimology is that the women he kills, in addition to having a specific age range, have very similar physical characteristics. And similar to you.

All his victims have your build, eye color, hair color, and height. It gets to be creepy to a certain point. And it's something difficult to ignore.

Bouncing information and possible strategies, the team agrees they need to be proactive to get him to show up before another killing happens.

"Okay, what options do we have?" Emily asks.

"The witnesses haven't gotten us anywhere," Luke complains.

"Although we've narrowed down his hunting grounds," Rossi shrugs.

"Yeah, we know the clubs where he likes to hunt," JJ backs Rossi.

"But although the profile, we have yet to learn about what to look for there. I mean, we know what the unsub wants, but not how he looks like." This time, it's Tara who speaks.

You've rarely seen Emily bite her tongue when she wants to say something, but it's clear that she has something on her mind, and she doesn't know how to put it, or maybe the problem is something else. You look at her out of the corner of your eye, and she looks back at you; what do those eyes say? They look like they're even apologetic.

It's a fraction of the time before she comes back to behave like herself.

"We need to lurk him. It's the only way," she says. And everyone's eyes - yours included - are on her immediately.

"Lurk him?" Matt repeats.

"Yes. And all we know who should be the one going undercover to do that," Emily adds, looking at you this time.

That's it—the elephant in the room.

Of course, you're the ideal candidate. Well, you're perfect in the physical aspect because if we talk about the victim's personality and yours...

There's silence in the room, and you can feel like the team's eyes are all on you.

Do they expect you to say no? To refuse? From your perspective, it's not a question; it's more like the option you all have to catch the guy.

"It's true (Y/N) would be the closest to the unsub type, but there are a lot of things to take into account," Matt says. And you know perfectly well what's behind his words, even if he doesn't say it directly.

And that's okay; it's perfectly plausible they have their doubts. It is not enough to look like the victims for the operation to work.

But if there is one thing you are sure of, it's that you will always give your all to your job, even if that means becoming a completely different person.

"I can do it," you mumbled so quietly that if the AC weren't in the lower setting, people wouldn't have heard you.

"But (Y/N), you know about this guy. It's dangerous," Matt points, a frown on his face.

"Not to mention he likes rough interactions," Luke adds.

"You don't have to do it if you feel uncomfortable." This time, it is JJ who voices her opinion. And you know, that's the closest reason to the team's main concern.

And the fact you can blow up the entire plan.

Spencer stays in silence. Internally he's freaking out thinking of you having to lurk on the unsub, but he knows you are a professional. And he feels a kind of deja vu.

When he was younger, the team would have said the same about him doing something like that. Spencer knows what it's like when people baby you, making you feel insecure. Sure, he hasn't had to worry about that anymore. Spencer is almost forty, and no one would dare to tell him he can't do something. Not after all the things he has been through.

"JJ is right, Bella. You don't have to do it. We can think of another way," Rossi backs JJ.

That's when Spencer notices the slight frown on your face. It's invisible to everyone but him. He knows it's there.

You stay collected, even when everyone on the team has something to say about how bad the idea of you going undercover to lurk the unsub is.

Emily is who stops everyone's rant.

"Guys, hey. If (Y/N) is telling us she can do it, we're going to do it. Of course, we'll be there to back up her and catch this unsub."

And this is how the discussion is settled.

Emily sends everyone out with a task to prepare for the night. Today is Friday, and the unsub will surely be stalking some new victim. The chances are high.

When it's just you and Spencer in the room, he still looks at you in silence.

"Do you also think I'll not be able to pull off this mission and I'm going to ruin everything?"

You downcast your gaze, exhaling deeply.

"No. I don't think that," Spencer clarifies, and you raise your gaze to meet his eyes. "You are more than capable, (Y/N). The team is worried because you'll be out of your comfort zone in a dangerous situation."

"The team? Not you?" You narrow your eyes to him.

You try not to sound accusatory, but if you're as scared as everyone, you also are fed up with the other's doubts.

Spencer closes the distance between you both but doesn't invade your personal space.

"Of course, I'm worried too! I don't want anything bad to happen to you. But I trust you and your judgment."

Your heart does flip-flops, and you're not sure if it's because Spencer is worried or because, despite that, he trusts you—or both.

"You do?" You ask, not so convinced.

Spencer nods and smiles at you.

"And we'll be there when you catch the guy."

If that is the reassurance you need, you don't mention it. Instead, you grin at Spencer as a promise you'll do your job just how you are supposed to.

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You insist on getting ready in your hotel room. The only assistant you ask for is Emily. She was the one who trusted you first in this, so you'll take every piece of advice she can give you before this night starts.

Everyone has a role in the plan.

Rossi will be the chauffeur who will drive you to the club.

Luke and Spencer would be in the club, mingling with the patrons. JJ, Matt, and Emily would be in the van monitoring the whole situation with cameras and earpieces. Rossi would keep his facade as a driver so he could be at one of the entrances. Tara would be at the club, too, eyeing nothing suspicious going on in the bar because there is a chance the unsub is getting help from the bartender.

When you are in front of the mirror applying the last touch of makeup, Emily is looking at you with a stare you can't decipher.

"What?" you ask, and Emily chuckles.

"Please, don't take this in a bad way, but I never thought I would live the day of seeing you using clothing like this. And Jesus, you look so hot!"

Your cheeks redens.

"It's a little bit odd coming from my boss, don't you think?" you muse, smoothing the fabric of your dress.

"Point taken," Emily raises her hands in defense. "Although I know someone who is going to run out of breath after seeing you."

You let out a scoff. It's not a surprise for you. The BAU girls - boss included - have been trying to set you up with Spencer since forever. You don't entertain the idea only because you don't think it's possible and not because you don't like the concept.

"Come on, don't say that. You are not helping to my nerves."

"Sorry, I'll shut up. We should go, though," Emily says, checking her watch.

One of the SUVs drives you to the van parking point. You needed to review the operation details.

At the back of the van - or commander point - JJ, Luke, Tara, Rossi, Matt, and Spencer see you come up with Emily.

For the best US profilers, they're not doing a good job hiding that they are gawking at you. Surely, no one imagined seeing you in such a revealing outfit. Outfit that, without a doubt, suits you extremely well, highlighting all your body attributes.

Spencer feels like he died and was resurrected after seeing you.

"Okay, guys, we need to check the details again," Emily announces.

The plan is in motion, and everyone is in position.

As expected, you arrive with Rossi at the club, who opens the door for you and helps you descend from the car. Rossi gives you a reassuring smile before letting you go.

Like a switch, you are no longer the shy SSA (Y/L/N). Now you are the woman who is going to take what she wants and attract the unsub attention doing that.

Your walk is determined, and your eyes send out flames of confidence to those who look at you. The music is very loud, something that would usually bother you, but not now. This needs to feel like your environment. That's how you like it, you tell yourself.

Almost instantly, you start to attract the looks of men who are eager for a woman like you.

You exude determination, and you don't go unnoticed.

Walking into the club, you make brief eye contact with Luke, who is on the dance floor. You see Spencer perched in a booth, nursing a beer.

At the same time, Tara is stationed at the bar.

"Remember (Y/N); the unsub expects the woman to approach men. The flirt needs to come from you," Emily reminds you by the earpiece hidden in one of the earrings you're wearing.

"Show time," you mumble to yourself.

You walk seductively to the dance floor, where a young man is dancing with a blonde. You approach and whisper something in his ear. That makes the boy completely lose interest in the blonde and start dancing with you. You smile and cling to the man's body, who wastes no time and takes your hips as if they were his possessions.

That dance certainly has nothing innocent about it. You continue whispering things in the boy's ear, and he looks more and more excited. Once you consider it a reasonable amount of time to have attracted attention, you leave the boy alone and head to the bar. Just a few meters away from Tara, a suspicious man is staring at you. You see him out of the corner of your eye as you order a drink. When the bartender passes it to you, you make subtle eye contact with Tara, who nods, indicating that the drink is clean.

You look next to you and see another man not so subtly looking at you. You know the unsub's profile, and you can't be intimidated or dominated by another man. You are the one who calls the shots. Otherwise, this will not work.

Before the man makes his attempt to seduce you, you turn to him, and with a penetrating look and disdainful voice, you stop him.

"Sorry, honey. Don't waste your time. You're not my type," and with that, you leave to move to the opposite side of the club. The guy huffs, and you're almost sure hearing him call you 'bitch' under his breath.

JJ, who's following the cameras inside the club, sees someone who looks suspect.

"Hey, this guy has been peeking at (Y/N) the entire time, and look, he clenched his fists when (Y/N) turned down that guy at the bar."

Emily confirms JJ's observation before giving you the next instructions.

"(Y/N), you're doing great. We have a possible target. So we need to raise the bet."

You know exactly what Emily means. You both had talked about the strategy to follow, having more details about what you should do than the rest of the team.

Matt and JJ look confused at each other but say nothing.

Your next step is to find another dude to seduce before delivering the coup de grace.

Luke and Spencer keep an eye on you. And while Luke is pleasantly surprised by your audacity, Spencer can't help but feel his stomach tighten. He tells himself it's because he is afraid something bad could happen to you, but inside of him, it's that and the fact of seeing you flirt with other men.

Just like you did with the guy on the dance floor, you attract the attention of another man; this time, you take his hand and pull him to the dance floor.

JJ and Matt's jaws drop to the floor. If Tara, Luke, and Spencer could do the same without giving themselves away, they would have done it, too.

As if it were your second nature, you laugh and move to the music. The man seems to enjoy the moment so much that he takes a bold step by leaning in to kiss you. You let him get closer until his lips are almost on yours. But before touching each other, you pull back with a malicious smile.

"Naughty boy. I'm who says if you can kiss or no," you pout, faking disappointment. Dizzed, the guy cocks his head and sees you walk away.

Matt chirps now. "It's him. Look boss," he tells Prentiss, pointing to the same guy JJ saw before.

There is no longer any doubt that it is him. Now you just have to catch him red-handed.

"(Y/N), we got him. It's time for the last play," Emily tells you.

With Emily's instruction, you go to the bar for another drink before heading over to where Spencer is sitting.

He tries to play it off, but he has no idea why you're approaching him.

"Is this seat taken, handsome?" You ask, with your drink in hand.

"N- no. Please," Spencer gestures to the booth on his front, but you opt to perch to his side. Spencer thinks he never has been this close to you. He looks at your eyes, and it's like you are a totally different person. It's a little bit contradictory for him, to be honest. He already likes you just as you are, but this version of you? It's driving him insane.

Some resemblance of your true self looks with a kind of curiosity the nervousness on Spencer. You don't think much about it; you assume he's playing the nervous guy who is baffled by you.

The thing is, Spencer isn't playing. He's definitely baffled by you.

"Are you okay?" You ask him, masking your question with a seductive smile.

"Yeah. Are - are you?" Spencer stutters a bit—something that is perfect for the plan but embarrassing for him.

You get closer to him to speak in his ear.

"This was Emily's idea," you tell him before kissing his ear and gently biting his lobe.

Spencer's breath hitches in his throat, and he thinks he's going to pass out any second. You're not doing it better: your heart is also pumping hard from the adrenaline. Of course, you had imagined something like that with Spencer, but only in your erotic dreams. You wouldn't dare do this on any given day.

You keep teasing Spencer, who, despite the nervousness, tries to play along. If this is the closest he will ever have you, he wants to engrave this in his memory.

"Just a little push, (Y/N). We almost have him," Emily instructs by the earpiece.

You swallow as subtly as possible as you wrap your arm around Spencer's neck, pulling him closer to you.

It's only a second between that action and the fact that you're kissing Spencer like it's your last meal.

Spencer doesn't know how to respond, and you were counting on that; it was enough time for the unsub to notice that you were the one who chose her last prey.

When Spencer is about to reciprocate the kiss, you murmur a 'sorry' into his lips and quickly pull away, giving him a disdainful look—which you hope he understands is fake—before getting up and walking toward the back exit door.

As expected, the unsub follows you towards the back door, and while your back is turned, he believes he has the advantage to attack you. What he doesn't know is that Matt and Luke are ready to lunge at him the moment he tries to touch you.

Everything that happens after is too fast.

The unsub is detained and taken to a patrol car while the team gathers around you, congratulating you on the successful operation. They all apologize to you for their previous apprehensions. You tell them that you understand and that there is no need to apologize. And it's like the switch has been flipped again since you came out of the femme fatale role.

But something is wrong. Spencer is not in the group. You see him a little further away, near the exit door of the club. Emily notices the looks between you both, and she sends the team on different tasks to close the case, leaving you and Spencer there.

There's something in his eyes that you can't decipher. You think it's resentment for using him without warning him what you were going to do.

You shyly approach him.

"It's me again," you tell him, pulling a face. You don't know what to say to make the situation better. Spencer nods.

"Yeah. You did it great, by the way," he compliments you. But it doesn't feel good like Spencer's compliments usually do.

"Look, about the kiss back there-" you start. He needs an explanation as a bare minimum.

"I know. It was fake," Spencer cuts you off.

Those words shouldn't hurt you as they do now. But isn't that the most reasonable thing to believe? The you in the club weren't you, so all you did inside was pretend.

Everything except that kiss.

If it's true you couldn't enjoy it the way you would have liked, you will never forget his lips on yours.

A tense silence takes over the moment. This is not okay.

You can't afford to lie to one of the most important people in your life, even if telling the truth takes you out of your comfort zone.

What the hell! Tonight has already been a total of 180 from a usual day for you.

"It wasn't," you mumble, and you see his eyes flicking to yours in a second.

"What?" Spencer asks, narrowing his eyes at you.

"Everything was fake, but not the kiss," you say with a stadied voice this time.

Spencer's heart races again. If you say you didn't fake it, then what he felt on your part at that moment was real?

"It wasn't fake?" He asks for clarification. You nod.

A smirk forms on Spencer's lips, seeing your cheeks redden.

There you are. The girl he had fallen for in the past two years.

"Well, you know that I am a man of science, right?" he tells you, and you frown because you have no idea where this is going.

"I know," you say with some hesitation.

"And as a man of science, I need evidence of things, you know?"

Now, you are the one who smirks at him.

"Evidence, huh?"

"Yep," he says, emphasizing the 'p' and swaying his body on his feet. You hum.

"I believe I can provide the necessary evidence if you need them," you concede, and Spencer's eyes sparkle with excitement.

Now, he is the one who reaches out and cups your cheeks. Your breathing quickens, but that doesn't stop you from standing on your tiptoes and connecting your lips with his.

This time, there is no unsub, no curious eyes are looking at you, there is no rush, there is no femme fatale role, and above all, this is not fake; it's as real as the fact that your heart beats for him, and his for you.

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Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger @khxna @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @dysphoricsanity @levi-of-starz @themoonchildwhofell @silver138 @lovelybaka @shinytinywhispers

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x you #aperrywilliams #amanda perry williams

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simpystuff · 4 months

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A little bit of a rant/essay about smg34

Okay to start, I am a huge smg34 shipper, always has been ever since I started watching during 2018/2019. I've watched most of the classic smg4 episodes, and I'm up to date in the recent ones too.

There is so much speculation as to what smg4 and smg3s relationship is, whether its platonic or romantic/sexual. Despite obvious indications, some people are firm believers that they are just best friends or brothers. So I'm here right now at 4:13am typing out an essay that proves that what they have going on is anything but platonic, and a little bit of a rant at the end too. (please do note that this essay is completely done up on the spot with no previous planning or order, so some things might not make so much sense.)

I'm starting off by analysing smg4 and smg3s characters as a whole and their dynamic. Smg3s character is Tsundere (by definition, "Tsundere meaning is an adjective for a person or character who is usually cold or harsh but sometimes shows a warm or kind side, especially to a love interest") and leading by definition, Smg3 is usually cold hearted, but does occasionally act nice and worries or cares about his friends and particularly smg4. This type of character tends to call their love interest "Baka", which is an insult that can mean "stupid" or other variations that depend. Smg3 calls Smg4 this in many cases, starting around the genesis arc, and continues up to even now. Smg4 is clearly Smg3's love interest, and as that character role, Smg4 teases Smg3 about his behaviour, even calling him a "tsundere" at some point in the internet graveyard.

Related to the subject, Smg3's behaviour is extremely flamboyant, and in the fandom wiki, he is described "he is gay in a stereotypical manner" - and in the Hobo Bros video where Luke and Kevin look at smg3 on the smg4 fandom wiki, neither of them seem to objectify to this statement. (We will also get to the creators views and words later on.) Even though "gay" has many stereotypes and doesn't usually abide by the few we have, the statement is quite frankly true without needing explanation. Like I previously mentioned, in many instances where Smg4 teases Smg3 about his behaviour, Smg3 blushes. That's right, he blushes. Like a Tsundere character would, he blushes, denies, turns away and calls Smg4 a "baka". He does this a lot, even if he doesn't include the "baka" in there, he definitely blushes.

Leading through their history, Smg3 and Smg4 have had a rivalry since Smg3 came around. People at this point were probably already shipping them together from the start, since a rivals to lovers trope is wildly loved and especially in the smg4 fandom. In most of the early smg4 days when smg4 came around, there wasn't much to speculate on - At that point they were rivals and nothing much else. But also mentioning the sm64 blooper "Snow Trapped", this obviously changes with the events that take place. What's good to note as well, is the fact that it's been brought up in WOTFI 2023 in the quiz trivia mission that asked "What happened at exactly 6:50 of the classic smg4 episode: Snow Trapped?" - to of which, the option "let's find out" was most voted for, and we had an audio clip of what had happened (which was them "making love")

Also going a little more into Snow Trapped, some people claimed that they weren't in fact doing the boombayah - and I think that's a load of bollocks /nm. With smg3 and smg4s n64 characters crouching and un-crouching behind and in front of each other and the audio clip that was placed on top, I don't think it was very hard to mistake for something else. And even more proof with that fact that before this clip, Smg4 said that they could forgive each other and "make some love before we die." That's clear indications as to what happened and it's not that hard to understand.

Like I mentioned before, the creators Luke and Kevin, and even James Bailey (the voice actor of smg3) had some words and whatnot about smg3 and smg4's sexuality and/or relationship. When reading the fandom wiki's about smg3 and smg4's sexuality, Luke didn't objectify against anything said - when the wiki had said that Smg4 may be hinted to be gay or bisexual, and when it says that smg3 could also be gay, even saying "I don't know" which could mean that it's indicated or could be speculated their exact sexuality. And with the fact that Kevin wrote Snow Trapped, I think there's a lot of indication that neither of them are straight. James Bailey, during a stream on his twitch, had a question about smg3 and how he'd describe him, to which he replied "imagine Shadow The Hedgehog but Gay." Later in the stream, he received a question asking if Smg3 was gay and he replied "He's not straight, I'll tell you what."

The problem the fandom usually has is the fans who claim they are "classic" smg4 fans but have no knowledge whatsoever on smg3 and smg4's relationship. The biggest they know is that they are rivals, and then claim that they are brothers when they clearly aren't - and assuming they were around for the release of Snow Trapped or had at least seen it, they'd know that isn't the case anyway. Even funnier the fact they claim that smg34 "ruined" smg4, even though that ship has been around probably since the start of their rivalry (I'll speculate on this because I know a lot of people do like a rivals to lovers trope)

That's the end of my essay people, leave a like or comment if there's anything else you'd like me to write smg4 related essays about and I'll give my opinions on it. If you've read up to this point, I love you, hope you have a good day or night.

#smg3 #smg4 #smg43 #smg34 #smg4 smg3

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kanansdume · 9 months

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Hello! Your pro-Jedi posts are so precious in mostly anti-Jedi rhetoric circulating around fandom and canon (sadly). So I wanted to ask: have you read a novel Ashoka by E.K.Johnson? If you haven’t, I hope you don’t mind some spoilers and a small rant.

I didn’t expect a lot while getting to it, but it still rubbed me wrong. Cannot remember specifically, but the general idea was ‘The Jedi were so trapped in the past and dogmatic, so they’re partially to blame for their downfall’. After reading lots of Jedi-defending meta, it just hurts.

One moment I remember most, though. After Ahsoka and Bail Organa save population of a small planet, occupied by the Empire, Bail calls her a Jedi.

Ahsoka: I’m no Jedi.

Bail: But you act like one.

And I’m just: yes! Yes, you do act like a Jedi! You meditate the Jedi way, you think the Jedi way – how come you’re not a Jedi? Only because you weren’t knighted? Meta-speaking, Kanan, Ezra and Luke also weren’t fully trained by the community, but they still are Jedi. Especially in a non-Jedi Imperial world. And non-Force-sensitive population in-universe won’t see the difference between a fully-trained Jedi Knight and an almost fully-trained Jedi Padawan – they’re still ‘Jedi’ to them.

I felt like this novel enforces the current idea that Ahsoka is better that ‘those stupid old dogmatic Jedi of the Prequels’. Sorry for the rant and thanks for reading.

Thank-you, I'm glad you've liked what I've managed to contribute to the pro Jedi fandom!

As for the Ahsoka novel, I haven't read it (but I don't mind spoilers since I don't ever plan to). I read like the first two thirds of Queen's Peril and then got bored and then I started hearing some pretty nasty things about E.K. Johnston and have refused to ever pick it back up again or ever read another of her books. So I'm not at all shocked that she's part of the Jedi critical crowd. It's even LESS shocking that it came out within the Ahsoka novel, just given the way Ahsoka as a character has been going for YEARS. It sounds like it's handling the issue in the same basic way a lot of people have done, nothing unique there.

If I'm willing to try to re-interpret the "I'm no Jedi" stuff into a more pro Jedi version, Ahsoka doesn't see herself as a Jedi because, unlike all of those other characters, Ahsoka LEFT the Order before it was destroyed and before she officially completed her training and never rejoined it. Kanan never left it at all, it was just destroyed around him (the same is true for Cal Kestis from the Jedi games). And he does TECHNICALLY get Knighted by Yoda during Rebels and takes on a Padawan, hallmarks of a Jedi Knight. Ezra and Luke never had an Order to join to begin with, so their willingness to identify themselves as Jedi isn't dependent on having officially joined the right organization so much as it is about having learned from someone else who identifies as a Jedi and being told their training is complete. Both Ezra and Luke kind-of reach that point with Kanan and Yoda, so they never question their identity as Jedi.

Ahsoka is in the VERY unique position of having not been a Jedi OFFICIALLY when the Order was destroyed, which leaves her in slightly more limbo than most others. She HAD the ability to rejoin it before it was destroyed, she just didn't, and now she has to kind-of move away from the idea of needing to be a part of the Order before she can call herself a real Jedi. She also never has a master tell her she's done with training. In both Kanan and Cal's cases, their masters died to protect them and so someone else (Yoda and Cere) has to step in to finish the job. For Ahsoka, her master is STILL ALIVE, he's just now a Sith and is trying to kill her. Nobody steps in to try to finish the job he started with Ahsoka (nor does Ahsoka really ever seem that open to it). This ALSO leaves her in a little bit of limbo in a way nobody else is.

So I'm generally willing to sort-of re-interpret her choosing not to identify as a Jedi within this context to make it less about feeling like she's better than all the other Jedi and more that she feels STUCK in how to get back to that identity in a way nobody else is. Just because she still meditates and tries to help people doesn't make her officially a Jedi when she intentionally left the Order for a reason. She chose to stop being a Jedi for a reason. In the Prequels Era, just being a kind Force sensitive person didn't make you a Jedi, so it works for me that Ahsoka would insist that she ISN'T one for a while, even when she looks a lot like one to an outside perspective. I could even see a more Jedi positive narrative taking the fact that she still acts and thinks like a Jedi in an interesting direction for her.

It's easier to utilize that interpretation in Rebels where Ahsoka is GENERALLY more positive about the Jedi and, despite not really identifying as one herself, she seems fine with getting lumped in as a Jedi along with Kanan and Ezra. She intentionally seeks Kanan and Ezra out for "Jedi stuff" once or twice during season 2. She ONLY brings out the "I'm no Jedi" line when Anakin throws the Jedi (and the fact that she'd left the Order) in her face during their confrontation before he's explicitly revealed to be Anakin (which means Ahsoka can still pretend he's NOT Anakin and be angry that this is the person who KILLED Anakin instead). She seems like she might be on the path towards becoming a Jedi again by following these two people who are slightly further ahead on that path than she is (and then she sees Anakin as Vader and she gets blown right off of that path all over again apparently). Ahsoka isn't the main character of Rebels and the entire narrative is about Ezra and Kanan coming together as teacher and student to become true Jedi by learning compassion and selflessness via sacrifice. Ahsoka can't overshadow or outshine the two main characters by making her seem BETTER than the two characters who are explicitly learning to become Jedi by emulating Prequels Jedi, which is helping her.

It's HARDER to utilize this interpretation within something like, say, the Ahsoka show, where it's absolutely clear that its take on the Jedi is NEGATIVE. Sabine calls herself a Jedi, other people call her a Jedi, but Ahsoka explicitly states that she doesn't want Sabine to be a Jedi AT ALL and never identifies as one herself. She calls the Jedi failures and implies that it's because they were elitist. She and Sabine constantly refuse to abide by Huyang's standard Jedi protocols and seem to see them as useless and old-fashioned. There isn't a SINGLE thing about the Jedi that is represented as positive in this show, which makes it decidedly difficult to pretend that Ahsoka is refusing to identify as a Jedi simply because she's in a particular emotional limbo about it that she needs to work out. Instead, Ahsoka refuses to identify as a Jedi because she associates being a Jedi with being an elitist asshole apparently and might only start reclaiming the title when she decides that she can sort-of... be a new kind of Jedi that's better than the old ones (not unlike what Baylan claims to be doing with Shin). It's DECIDEDLY anti Jedi in tone and I'm generally unwilling to try to rework the entire fucked up narrative of the show to try to pretend that it isn't. The Ahsoka show is an explicitly anti Jedi narrative and that's just... the facts of the matter. It sucks, but it's true. It's not worth me putting in any more work than that.

I haven't read the Ahsoka novel, so I don't know whether its tone is closer to Rebels or the Ahsoka show. If it feels to you closer to how the Ahsoka show landed, my advice would be to just purge it from your canon. That's the nice thing about Star Wars, you can pick and choose what's canon to you and what isn't. If it doesn't work for you, you can straight up pretend it doesn't exist. As far as I'm concerned, the Ahsoka show never happened. It's stupid and doesn't deserve to be considered within my canon. If, however, it feels closer to how Rebels ended up, my advice is to see if you can find some way to re-interpret some of the more Jedi critical pieces or just pretend THOSE parts don't exist and separate it out from the parts you DO enjoy.

#star wars #ek johnston #ahsoka novel #ahsoka tano #jedi #pro jedi #ahsoka critical #ahsoka tano critical #star wars rebels #anti ahsoka show #ahsoka show critical #ahsoka show

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backjustforberena · 4 months

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Hi! I've been enjoying reading your insights regarding the Velaryons, especially Rhaenys. I don't know if this has been asked already but if it hasn't been yet, please do rant about 'the juxtaposition of Corlys and Rhaenys at their daughter's wake and how it perfectly represents and underlines the divergence they are having in respect to legacy which leads onto their opposing positions in regards to succession.'

Hello! I assume you mean from this gifset? I would love to talk about it. And thank you for your compliments on my "insights", I really like having a ramble about these characters. It's fun, and escapism, and they occupy far too much of my headspace.

So, yes, the wake. I've done a bit of a meta, HERE, about it, and then a more in-depth look at specifically Rhaenys's movements during both the funeral and the wake HERE.

And I think my thoughts, just generally, about them as a couple during this whole entire episode, is that they are diverging and that ebbs and flows throughout and then you get the break of that relationship being the most visceral and violent event at the end, with Laenor's death and Rhaenys screaming and Corlys yelling. And that's what leads us into this six-year gap. They are ripped apart by this. It's the only thing that could have done so because the love and the marriage is pretty solid otherwise.

At the wake, obviously, both Rhaenys and Corlys are reacting to the same incident. The same trauma. The death of their daughter. But they each react in different ways which means they can't understand the other or even make room to try. They're at opposite ends of the spectrum and that is really new for them. It doesn't happen.

As I touched on, in the first meta I've linked to, they grasp onto their grandchildren as some sort of remedy. As some sort of answer. Both characters are fierce in their ideas of family and propelled by the love of their family but, in cases such as this, what that love amounts to is different.

For Corlys, it's the idea of legacy. So, he looks to Luke, who is to be his legacy as Lord of the Tides after Laenor. He tries to take comfort that, despite a major pillar of his love and family (and legacy) having been taken (Laena and an unborn grandchild dying in childbirth), all is not lost. All is not despair. Luke represents a future and a way out of this pain and grief. A brighter day and one, dare I say, that will absolve Corlys of any regrets at yoking his family to the Targaryen royals. It's a way of not facing his demons and not facing his culpability (however you want to look at that whether as illogical guilt, support of a match that meant Laena was away from them, his ambitions driving the family) in the situation he's in now.

I don't think it's any coincidence that he goes into familiar territory rather than looking at his granddaughters, who are basically living copies of the daughter that just died and are the last piece of his daughter. He's not engaging with the fact that they've lost Laena. He doesn't even do it in the following scene when Rhaenys wants to talk about Maesters. He fobs her off. For a man obsessed with legacy, he doesn't consider the legacy of his daughter specifically.

Whereas, looking at Rhaenys, all she can do is face the fact that her daughter is dead. Rhaenys is, in my opinion, light-years ahead of her husband in terms of the consequences of ambition. It's why she's the cautious one of the pair and why we only have them really, truly, on the same page about the Iron Throne in Episode 10 - because he's now been humbled by all this war and deaths and the cost. For Rhaenys, that sort of lesson has been burnt into her since the Great Council. So, she's painfully self-aware of her sins and the cruelty of the world, as opposed to Corlys who is a very accomplished man. Who does what he wants and very rarely gets burnt. I think Rhaenys is all too ready and willing to blame herself. To blame them.

And Rhaenys's view on legacy and priority on legacy has to be different to Corlys's. In part, because Rhaenys's legacy has been set for decades. What will she be remembered for, if not as "The Queen Who Never Was"? But also due to her sex. Her children do not have her last name. She has no holdings or land. Her name has every chance of being in a long list of Meleys's riders. Any title she could have passed on was stripped from her: her children are not even Prince or Princess. She has nothing to give that she cannot give day-to-day, during her lifetime, whilst she lives: her love, her body, her protection.

Corlys can cement his line, be remembered as grandfather to Kings, and leave behind a prosperous Driftmark with a secure succession of Velaryon after Velaryon, at least in name. His voyages and discoveries will be legend, his accomplishments will become myth, he will have victories and claim territories etc etc. He will be in the history books. He lives for legacy because legacy can be something to him. It can't be, for her. Any legacy as she would have liked it (Queen of the Seven Kingdoms) was taken from her long ago.

But back to Rhaenys and the loss of Laena, specifically... she can't deal with anything else. It's all she thinks about. All that motivates her, in this episode. There was even some cut dialogue during the knife scene (which I do agree on being taken out but nevertheless gives us insight) where, as Rhaenys and Corlys enter, she berates the room at large: on the day we buried our daughter (I'm paraphrasing). It's all about Laena and being unable to prevent Laena's death. It's self-reflection on her own actions or inactions.

Of course she's going to prioritise blood because that is the only thing she has to care about. She's going to prioritise Laena's legacy. Not Corlys's. Not her own. Laena's. Because those girls are all that is left of her daughter. She's going to protect those girls with everything she has and give them all she can and atone. Giving those girls a happy life and keeping them close and keeping them safe is the only thing even remotely within her control. It's also a way of fulfilling her daughter's wishes.

But, as we see in the fireside scene, it becomes about choosing. To elevate Baela (which is a massive thing to do, like I cannot emphasise enough how out of line Rhaenys was with that suggestion), you cast a shadow on the boys. You just do, without meaning to. So it becomes an argument, rather than a conversation because that threatens what Corlys is trying to find solace in - the communication goes out of the window. And that whole conversation spirals because they are just grieving parents looking to different things to make them feel okay again.

But I'll stop rambling there. It's just layered.

#bad meta #<- tag is ironic #house of the dragon #corlys velaryon #rhaenys x corlys #rhaenys targaryen

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still-a-morosexual-help · 1 year

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I really really hope you're right, this just killed my motivation for everything. What happened with Solomare's story jar already left a bad taste in my mouth too.

I know I'll feel better in a few days, but I felt lied to when they said they'd continue the story and the app. And it's going to be even lighter and fluffier and a replacement for the main story line? One that new players will perfectly fit into? I was so looking forward to learning more about what would happen to Simeon.

Also not announcing it until last minute? For once I'm really glad I can barely afford food, because I'd be devastated if I had spent even a dollar. But maybe that's just me being poor.

I'm mostly likely going to stop writing for a while until I've archived everything important from the app, which is gonna take ages just in case anyway.

But anyway, are there any recent events you thought were better than usual? I've been too sick to grind lately so I haven't unlocked them. I want to know which ones to archive as soon as possible once the six months are up.

Sorry for bringing the mood down and the rant, but you seem to be the only positive one I follow that isn't outright calling people stupid or pathetic for being upset so I'm really hoping your positivity rubs off on me.

I do hope you keep posting for Nightbringer too! I have several issues with my hands so I don't think I'll ever be able to see the end of the og story line, and I especially love your analyses out of anyone else's.

Okay okay so they are continuing the og app and continuing the story, the only difference is they'll be continuing the mainstory in nightbringer and the og app will just be getting events. So the og app will continue the way it has since the end of s4 and new main story content will be uploaded to nightbringer (the devs did says this)

Not sure what happened with story jar but Obey Me! is solmare's most popular game. Objectively, nothing solmare has created has ever come near to reaching om! And I'm talking purely in the money making side of it - the anime? mangas? songs? merch? cons? VAs getting heavily involved in everything? Solmare's a business. As long as there's a fandom and a demand for it they're not gonna kill the og app.

Plus the majority of om's content is on the og app, with new content and old events still being released. If they wanted to kill the og app they'd stop releasing new content and updating lonely devil.

Since nightbringer will be continuing the mainstory from where they left off, they'd also need to move all of S1-4 the chats, call & devilgrams to nightbringer if they were gonna kill the og - and I'd imagine that's more hassle than it's worth

I do think we'd learn more about what happened to simeon;

• devs said they'd be continuing the main story in nightbringer so that'd include simeon

• nightbringer's current plot is about time travel and mc trying to find a way back home - so they will end up back in the current time at some point, where simeon's whole thing can be addressed

• s3 established that luke wasn't alive when the brothers were angels. If they intended to keep mc in the past they'd either have to scrap luke's entire character (?????) or retcon s3 which so far dropped the most lore

• thirteen (who's supposed to turn into a LI)'s first visit to the devildom happens in s4 and in nightbringer's op we see her in Diavolo's castle. Which means we're seeing the present timeline as well

....i think you're maybe panicking a bit too much? You definitely don't need to archive anything anytime soon. For well all of the reasons I mentioned above.... Maybe someday you'd have to but definitely not right now

Honestly I liked all the events🤷

No worries! And Yeah I think the thing people are forgetting is that Nightbringer is STILL Obey Me! I'm definitely going to be still talking about it

Ok so I have an exam in 2 days and I think I've answered every possible question about Nightbringer you could possibly have so I'm calling it here.

Won't be answering new asks until sunday. Everything posted will be from queue.

If you want to see my others asks/answers regarding Nighbringer just hit the tag on this post

#obey me nightbringer #asks #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me!#shall we date? obey me!#swd obey me #swd obey me!#shall we date obey me #obey me simeon #om simeon #obey me! simeon #om! simeon #swd simeon #shall we date simeon

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bellysoupset · 1 year

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I know you said that Luke gets the lion's share of attention, but I'd love to see him maybe getting dangerously drunk at a party with the football team and either Vince or Leo calling Jonah in a panic because they don't know whether he needs to go to hospital...

(bonus points if he drunk dials Bella before he's utterly paralytic 👀)

I LOVED this prompt, it kinda caused the entire break up plot to spiral badly. Now we're here, angst fest. This is a part 1.

-------

Vince was not in the mood to play tonight. Not him and certainly not Leo. They had just recovered from their own turn with the flu and to make matters worse Lucas' had been acting completely off since the aforementioned Break Up.

No one dared to say anything about it, but they were all thinking it.

They were playing at home tonight, which was a relief, because it was a freezing night and Vince did not want to add an incredibly inconvenient bus drive on top of the general down mood.

"Hey cap," Vince thumped Lucas' back as he finished strapping his helmet, "everything good?"

"Yes," Lucas answered roughly, pushing the helmet down on his head. Over his shoulder, Leo flinched and Vince smiled at him in sympathy. He waited until his friend marched ahead before approaching the blonde.

"What do you think?" Vince whispered and Leo shrugged, looking every bit as annoyed as Vince felt.

"I think we're going to lose."

"Yeah, me too."

They didn't lose. Nearly did, but not quite. 33 vs 29. Such a game would normally have all of them in a frenzy in the locker room, euphoric even, but not this time around.

Instead, Lucas was the first out of the field, and the first out of the showers, sitting down on the bench to put on his shoes, while the rest of them were still busy arguing with each other and getting rid of the uniform.

Vince didn't expect Lucas to still be around by the time he walked out of the showers. With how incredibly childish and pissy Luke was acting, he expect the man to have left already.

Instead he was still sitting on the bench, humid towel hanging around his neck and still shirtless, the water dripping from his hair. No matter that it had just started to snow and everyone was rushing to get dressed as fast as possible.

"Okay," Vince moved closer, tugging his shirt down, "what's the matter?"

"Uh?" Lucas raised his eyes, seemingly lost and Vince frowned at him, bumping his knee against his friend's.

"What's the matter?"

"Hey Luke," Aidan interrupted Vince's rant, a huge smile on, "we're heading out, you're joining?"

"Yeah," Lucas opened a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, but finally seemed to be startled into moving. He put on the shirt, while Vince raised both eyebrows.

"Where are you going?"

"Celebrate, duh" Mickey slapped his arm, "you wanna join? You can bring Tinkerbell."

"Don't call her that," Vince immediately shut him down, while Leo scooted closer.

"We're going out?" he asked and then very quickly it got out of control and both Leo and Vince were pulled into the partying, even though neither of them were feeling it.

Vince felt completely out of character, being the only sober one sitting on the corner.

"Mikey burped on my face and I nearly threw up," Leo said, slumping down next to him. Maybe not the only sober one, Vince thought, letting out a surprised chuckle.

"We'll just stay an hour and then get the fuck out," he said, leaning back and tugging on his jeans. He had gone down an entire size thanks to the flu, it was annoying as hell to keep pulling on his pants.

Leo grinned, "we could have a beer. Granted I'll probably throw it up, but I don't wanna sulk here in the corner."

Vince rolled his eyes, incredulous, "fuck no. I've been on a liquids only diet all week, I'm not risking it. You go ahead, though."

The blonde shrugged, picking at his nail as they watched their friends have fun. Or something like that, in Luke's case. Whatever he was having didn't seem to be "fun".

"Just one," Leo smiled mischievously and then got up to join them. Vince grinned back at him, thinking the guy was insane for trying his luck like that.

One hour very quickly turned into one and a half when Leo hopped back to the table and dragged him to join the rest of them, exclaiming loudly that just because Vince was going fully sober tonight, it didn't mean he had to pout-

Lucas draped an arm around his shoulders, head nodding along to Leo's giggly speech, "he's right. Sit with us-" then he downed another shot.

"You've got to let loose," Luke said, a dumb smile on, eyes completely dazed, "you've been so pressed this week, calm down."

"I've been sick this week, not pressed," Vince rolled his eyes, shoving Luke away from him in a playful manner.

It was a really cold night and getting colder, even inside the dimly lit pub. They were all packed together for warmth, as Leo explained, downing a shot of tequila that he regretted exactly twenty minutes later, as he lowered his head to Vince's shoulder.

"Nothing is sitting right."

"I'm shocked," Vince chuckled, thumping his back, "just puke it up, you'll feel better."

"Ew, no," Leo shook his head, yawning, "I want to go home, I think I had enough fun."

Same, Vince thought. He had been nursing the same sprite since they arrived and although his mood was a little lighter, he was dead on his feet and wanted to go to sleep.

"Yeah, let's go- Where's Luke?"

"He was doing shots in the back with Spence and Alex...?" his voice trailed off at the end, turned into a question and Vince frowned, looking away from the shitty television behind the bartender, that was displaying a football game, and towards the blonde.

"Leo?"

"Spence?" Leo straightened up, sobering up, "dude- Hey, what's going on?!"

Only then did Vince realize that Spencer was clutching his nose, blood gushing between his fingers, while Alex was holding up a bunch of napkins.

"Lucas'z a duckin'dunt" Spencer groaned, wincing in pain. Vince frowned, looking at Alex for explanations.

"What happened? Where is he?"

"Drunk dialing his girlfriend," Alex scoffed, rolling his eyes, "and crying. We tried to stop him, but he shoved Spencer when he tried to get the phone."

Oh that explained it. Leo exchanged a concerned look with Vince.

"Where is he?"

"Bathroom," Alex rolled his eyes, "you guys think it's broken?"

"No," Leo shook his head, "he'd be in a lot more pain if it was broken."

"Maybe it's time we all call it a night," Vince said, but he didn't really stick around to hear the responses, as he was already walking to the bathroom.

Whatever he expected to find, it certainly wasn't Lucas curled up on a very disgusting bathroom floor.

"Lucas...?" he ran inside, all but skipping to his knees, "Luke, what are you doing on the ground? Lucas, hey!" he shook his friend's shoulder and Lucas let out a groan.

He had vomit on his shirt and blood on his knuckles, all in all a picture of misery. He also didn't seem able to support his head at all, like a baby, "...eave'me-alone," he slurred and Vince's heart picked up.

"Hell no," he cupped Lucas' neck, feeling his rapid heart beat, skin clammy, "Luke, are you just wasted or-"

His shoulders hitched again and more pale yellow puke covered his lap. Lucas seemed too out of it to even feel bad or humiliated by it, all he did was let out another pitiful whine.

"LEO!" Vince shouted, not looking away from his best friend, "LEO!"

"Vin? I'm just calling Spen- What the fuck?!" Leo cut himself immediately as he took in the state Lucas was in. He walked inside the bathroom, crouching down, "Lucas? Luke, hey - Is he conscious?"

"Barely," Vince patted his best friend cheek, "get Jon on the phone!" he bossed, already fishing for his own phone. He struggled to find Wendy's contact, panic making his mind cloudy.

Between them, Lucas let out another groan and dipped dangerously to the side, causing Vince to lurch forward to grab him, patting his cheek again, "Luke, wake up. Stay with me, alright? Open your eyes."

As if actually obeying, Lucas blinked blearily, the fact his eyes were bloodshot making the green stand out scarily.

"Jon!?" Leo squealed to his left, "Jonah, we're at a bar and- And Luke is completely passed out and we don't know what to do-"

"Leo?" Jonah sounded asleep. Vince vaguely tried to think of what hour was it. 1 AM? "Leo, what's going on-"

"Jon," Vince interrupted, as Leo put the call on speaker, "we're in some pub and Luke is wasted. Like actually properly wasted, I- We have no idea what to do."

There was a pause as Jonah collected himself, "is he conscious?"

"Not really, just a little but not responding."

"Okay, if he's awake keep him sitting up, otherwise put him on his side to not choke on his sick," Jonah bossed and then they heard rustling around and the noise suddenly changed. A crowded room.

"He's puked, like a lot-" Leo offered, unhelpfully and Vince rubbed Lucas' arm, trying to keep him awake.

"While conscious?" Jonah asked, his voice muffled by the noise, "were you there?"

"No, we just found him," Vince's heart was in his throat. Had he severely fucked up by letting Luke out of his sight?

"Fuck," Jonah cursed and then his voice changed as they heard him telling the front desk of the hospital, "I need an ambulance to this address- Guys, where are you?"

"Uhm-" Vince struggled to remember, but Leo interrupted him, citing the address perfectly from memory.

"It's not far from the hospital, we're just around the corner of the university..." He added, then sucked in a sob as Lucas groaned and then his eyes rolled back into his head, turning into half moons of white.

"Shit! Leo, move, let's get him lying down-" Vince ushered him, rolling Luke to his side, almost curled up, "is this right? Should we stick something in his mouth so he won't bite his tongue?"

"Is he seizing?" Jonah yelled through the phone, interrupting Vince's worried questions.

"No, but he passed out," Leo answered, planting his fingers to Lucas' neck, "and his heart is really really fast."

"He might have a seizure. Do not hold him or try to stick your fingers in his mouth, or put anything in. All you'll do is choke him," Jonah sounded just as panicked as the rest of them, "check if he's breathing."

"He is, really slow, but he is."

"Alright, just move anything from around him that could potentially hurt hi-"

"Shit," Leo groaned just as Lucas' shuddered on his side and then coughed up another stream of pale vomit, this time all over the blonde's knee next to his head, "he's throwing up again."

"That's good, he's responsive then," Jonah sighed in relief, "three minutes for the ambulance, just stay with him- One of you should go talk with the bartender and see what he drank. Or took."

"Lucas doesn't do drugs," Vince said, defensively and Leo let out a disbelieving scoff.

"He also doesn't get black out drunk, but we're here!"

"I'll go..." Vince said, but didn't move. He couldn't move, "Jonah, is he going to be okay?" he said, voice small. Lucas might be acting like a prick, but he was not ready to lose his best friend. At twenty three? In some dingy pub's floor? No fucking way.

"Vince go check the bottles, the paramedic will need to know when they get there. Leo, check if he's breathing again, make sure it doesn't sound like he's wheezing."

Vince nodded, noticing just how Jonah had refused to answer his question. He got up, stumbling and rushed out of the bathroom.

Much to his relief no drugs had been involved, the bartender spilling the beans the minute Vince said Lucas was passed out and the ambulance would be there in a minute. Just loads and loads of alcohol, so much that the man ended up just writing it all down on a paper napkin, seeing as Vince was shaking too much and too choked up to properly remember any of the names.

"Which one of you is-"

"Vince, Vince," Leo tugged at his sleeve and from the way his nose and eyes were red, it was clear he was and had been crying, "you go. I - I'll just... I'll send the other guys home, I'll meet you there."

"Are you sure?" Vince asked, but he didn't mean it. There was zero chance he was staying behind when his best friend had a group of paramedics lifting him up.

"Yes, go. I'll meet you there," Leo was shaking like crazy, hyperventilating.

Vince nodded, drunkenly chasing after the paramedics and getting in the back part of the ambulance.

"Does he drink frequently?" the paramedic asked him immediately and Vince shook his head.

"No, almost never, actually," he squeezed Luke's hand, while they checked his respiratory vias, "he - He had a bad month, that's all."

"Is he a danger to himself?"

"No," Vince scoffed, "Luke's not dangerous, he's the nicest person I know-"

"No, sir, is he a danger to himself? Do you think the amount of alcohol consumed was purposeful?" the paramedic repeated, stabbing Luke's finger with something that looked like a diabetic device.

"I... I don't know, I don't think so...? No, Luke's not suicidal, no," Vince shook his head, knee deep in denial. He couldn't even wrap his mind around it, but besides just not believing Lucas was suicidal, he didn't believe this was how he'd choose to go, "no, not at all."

"Has he shown any concerning behavior recently?"

"Is he going to be okay?" Vince interrupted, "because you're sounding like- Like he's gonna be arrested or something, he just drank too much too fast. He's fine. He'll be fine, right?"

The paramedic, an older guy whom Vince vaguely remembered from the hospital, opened a small reassuring smile, "we're doing our best."

That was not a fucking answer, Vince scoffed, squeezing Lucas' hand even more tightly, urging him to wake the fuck up. What a mess of a night.

Once they parked, they rushed Lucas inside and ahead of him, but Jonah was already at the doors of ER, in scrubs and looking every piece as wrecked as Vince felt.

"Dr. Cohen is ta-"

Vince shut him up by tackling him into a hug, all of his emotions crashing down on him. He expected Jonah to pull back, but instead he squeezed him a little harder, letting out a measured breath.

"He's all white and... And dead... I- I don't-"

"Vince," Jonah pulled back, tugging on his white lab coat to force some composure, "breathe. Sit down. They're checking him over, there's nothing you can do now."

"Are they... What happens now?" Vince crumbled down on top of a hospital plastic chair, making the seat creak. Jonah shuffled uncomfortably.

"First we need him to wake up. Then we'll keep him for 12 hours on a glycose drip and diazepam."

Vince stared at him and Jonah opened an exhausted smile, "they'll just put him on IVs. It's not as dramatic as on TV... Bella called me."

"What?"

"Apparently she tried calling you too, but... Uhm, Luke called her before you guys found him. Scared the living crap out of her, she's on her way here."

"At... At 1 AM?"

"It's almost 3," Jonah rolled his eyes, wiping a hand over his face, "you should go wash up, you look like a mess. Leo said anything?"

"He should be here in a minute too, he said he'd meet me here."

"Okay, I'll wait for him then," Jonah crossed his arms, "go, Vince."

#sickfic #emeto #emetophilia #alcohol poisoning #lucas atwood #mywriting

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bohemian-nights · 1 year

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When people say Daemon and Nettles had a father-daughter relationship and/or he was her biological father I get so confused 😐. Nettles was born in 113 AC (on Driftmark) at this time Daemom was ruiling the Bloodstone as "King of the Stepstones and the Narrow Sea" in the Stepstones. He had been doing this since his exile by Viserys in 111 AC. He doesn't return to Driftmark until 115 AC. This would make Nettles already two years old. So i’m not sure what health class these particular fans claiming this attended….but that’s simply impossible in every way, shape, and form.

That being said, book wise we don’t get any particular information about Daemon’s relationship with his children. That’s not to say that he was a bad father or that he didn’t love them, rather we just don’t have any indication that fatherhood changed him. And show wise Daemons relationship with his daughters is unfortunately very strained to say the least. Aegon III and Viserys II are babies and we’ve seen him interact with them only once. The same thing can be said for Jace, Luke, and Joffrey.

So we can’t say his actions toward Nettles were fatherly when we have no indication of how he supposedly acts when he’s being “fatherly.”

(Sorry for ranting)

You are more than welcome to rant all day 😊

At this point I’m convinced people either haven’t read the book like they say they have or they skipped over Nettles parts because it triggered them 🤷🏽‍♀️ She’s not his kid and no amount of saying she could be his daughter will change the impossibility of that being the case.

Yeah, we don’t get any parenting info on book! Daemon other than him being okay with Baela being a bit of a wild child. I think he’s better than his show counterpart though because he’s not separating his kids and there is no mentions of them being treated unequally.

Baela in the show writes to Daemon on Driftmark(from what I remember, someone correct me if I’m wrong cause I’m not rewatching that trash), but he is pretty much a deadbeat💀

This man has been a father to no one and if people think he’s going to suddenly be a surrogate father to Nettles then they are smoking crack. If they were going to do the father-daughter plot Nettles would be scrapped and replaced with Rhaena(which is what they are hoping for despite it not making any sense and basically mean having to rework the story).

There is nothing fatherly about bathing with a young woman butt naked, but they are more than welcome to explain how Corlys bathing naked with Rhaenyra would be 100% platonic father/daughter-in-law bonding time 🙃

#maester Norren was so unserious when he said daemon dotes on netty like a daughter #then one line laughter says they bath butt naked together 🤣#nettles #daemon targaryen #daemon x nettles #bnasks #bnask #netty #daemon targaryen x nettles #dettles

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mimomentomori · 2 years

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Rico Rants: Star Wars

Today I woke up inexplictably angry at Star Wars canon post ROTJ and I don’t know what to do with that information. I haven’t read much of Legends and only know bits and bobs of that timeline, but I think my biggest issue is that both the Prequal and Original trilogy’s follow classical story telling tropes. And the Sequals... well.

Original Trilogy follows the classic Hero’s Journey that’s been used since the dawn of storytelling, with Lucas studying texts like The Hero with 1000 Faces and referencing his story with the author to make sure he was getting all the different ‘parts’ right. I can go into further detail but maybe later, Luke’s journey has been analyzed to pieces over the 40-odd years since Star Wars’ release.

On the other hand, Prequal Trilogy follows the line of a Tragedy where the Hero (in this case Anakin) rises and falls due to his Fatal Flaw (his over-protective/posessive attatchment to Padme) that was exploited by Palpatine. A Tragedy is almost the exact inverse of the Hero’s Journey even if the story/settings have a lot of paralells. Both stories offer a different form of catharsis by the time the end of the story is reached.

The Sequals... fall flat to me because of a lack of catharsis. Do I think they’re terrible? No (that honor falls to the Star Wars fandom and that particular brand of toxicisity). Instead of telling a whole new story they re-told the Original Trilogy’s Hero’s Journey with different characters and regressed old character’s story arcs to suit the narrative. Are the new characters bad? No, they had the potential to be brilliant- had they gotten their own story instead of D/isney trying to shoe-horn them into a story that’s already been told.

In conclusion, the entire story of the Sequal trilogy felt clunky, disorganized, and overly-reliant on callbacks and nostalgia to pull in old fans without respecting what the old fans have seen and come to expect of their childhood heroes. I’ve seen posts online describing how the recent D/isney shows such as the Mandalorian (which I adore tbh) , Ashoka, etc. could be used to re-contextualize the Sequals in a similar fashion to how The Clone Wars worked in favor for the Prequal trilogy. But if a company has to rely on extra materials to justify the choices made to tell the ‘main story,’ then that story isn’t that great to begin with.

I may go into further detail about this at some point but I just had to rant about this somewhere. These opinions are strictly my own and you are welcome to agree/disagree to your heart’s content. Just don’t come at me.

#star wars #star wars original trilogy #star wars prequels #star wars sequel trilogy #luke skywalker #the mandalorian #ashoka tano #the clone wars #george lucas #hero with a thousand faces #hero's journey #tragedy #anakin skywalker #star wars legends

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deeptrashwitch · 10 months

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So...I was looking around tumblr as usual while listening music. And since is already december, in my country (not sure if it's the same on others) it's usual to hear the damn songs tipical of this month OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

And yeah, it would be tolerable at least if THEY WEREN'T PLAYING THEM SINCE FUCKING SEPTEMBER!

Just why? It is enough hearing it non-stop during december, hell, I would even feel it was fun if it was only since november. But no...four months. FOUR GODDAMNED MONTHS HEARING THIS! And it doesn't help that my neighbor decide to play them at 3 am.

Let me die already...

So yeah, for now let's leave behind the fact that I'm about to throw my dad's stereo through a window and wanted to rant a bit. I was thinking about my boys (lost the inspiration for the main story, sorry) and how they'll be during christmas or most likely in this situation.

So here they are!

-------------------------------------------------------

Alicia was about to loose her cool.

It was november and even if she loved the holidays, there was a problem. She didn't know who told Marcus about certain songs and whoever did it, now he was a dead man walking. Don't misunderstand her...she loved those songs during Christmas and New Years, they were basically a tradition on her house, but HOLY HELL if she wasn't tired of them.

Why? May you ask

BECAUSE MARCUS HAS PLAYED THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS SINCE FUCKING JUNE!

And now Edward started to sing them without knowing what the hell they meant it was nothing bad tho or how to pronounce it and the pilot wasn't the best singer either.

-Alicia?-asked Luke when he saw her staring to the void as other round of those songs started

-I am THIS close to commit a murder inside here-hissed as her eyebrow twitched

-Your...your fingers are touching

-Exactly! God forgive me if I find who told Marcus to play this over and over

Luke didn't say anything, but he knew exactly who was it and never expected their Captain would react like this. He decided to keep quiet for now...for his own sake. That was like that until end of december and Alicia was going crazy.

At least until Wraith decided to watch the world burn and she told the Captain who was it. She didn't know if laugh or cry of the pure anger, but took a deep breath before looking at Dominique with a little smile.

-How bad can I leave them?-asked as her eyebrow twitched again

-Leave Jackson alone, you know the poor bastard has been busy with some of your own wounds during training

-Fair enough

Alicia got out of Dominique's office and found Elijah first, who salute her with a smile. She was alright with him and most of her team, so she just started chatting with him a bit as he told her about christmas in his house.

-So you started to dance...while drunk?-asked with a smile

-Never drink vodka, whisky and rum together I guess

-Good point, oh, by the way, have you seen Luke, Noah and Alexander anywhere?

-Uhh, last time I saw them, they were on the yard

-Great, thanks Elijah

-I just need to ask but, do I need to tell Jackson to prepare the bay?-asked a bit nervous

-Nah, hmm, but I told Luke what would happen if I found out...

-Yep, I'll tell him just in case

And so, once Alicia let Elijah go, he went straight to the medic bay to talk with the blonde SEAL. Blackwell just sighed and prepares everything to cure those three idiots once the Captain finished with them. They both went and found the rest of the team and went just to contemplate the spectacle, even Wraith was watching from her office.

Soon they saw the three soon-to-die soldiers talk as they walked and then Elliot saw the Captain. Everyone had a chill down their spine when they saw the smile in her face and, for worse, the broomstick on her hands. Once the Lieutenant, the Corporal and the Private noticed her...all of them went pale as wax.

-Oh crap, she found out-said Alexander shaking

-No shit, Sherlock!-snapped Noah in his direction before they started running

-¡PEQUEÑAS MIERDAS! ¡TRAIGAN SU TRASERO AQUÍ! (YOU LITTLE SHITS! BRING YOUR ASSES HERE!)-screamed Alicia in spanish chasing them with her eyes filled of anger-¡SEIS MESES! ¡SEIS MALDITOS MESES! ¡CASI ME VUELVO LOCA POR SU CULPA! (SIX MONTHS! SIX FUCKING MONTHS! I ALMOST WENT CRAZY BECAUSE OF YOU!)

The woman chased them screaming for almost an hour before she could smack the broom on something, the floor if we are being specific, before looking them directly to the eyes. All three of them just watched with a mix of awe and fear how the broomstick was broken in thousands of pieces, then she just whispered "run" and they fled for their lives. Alicia smiled as she used the broken stick as a javelin, missing for mere inches the back of Luke's head.

-Is she trying to murder them for real or...?-asked Francis surprised

-I...don't think so-muttered Nicholas raising an eyebrow

Once they lost sight of the three, Alicia started to laugh and that just terrified her team before she picked the broomstick pieces. She walked towards them before throw the pices in the trash and smiled them as usual.

-What?

-You are scary, ma'am-said Marcus almost laughing of incredulity-you almost killed the Lieutenant!

-Of course not!-answered as she laughed again-I never aimed to his head! If I did...well you know what would have happened

-How?-asked Edward as the woman shuggred

-Not the first time I chase someone and throw them something, that's the way I usually stop my siblings of stealing my things

-So what was the point?-asked Jackson with a smile

-Scare them enough to leave me alone for a while and NEVER suggest Marcus to do that again, because I know pretty well they told him they were different songs when I told him to stop every time-murmured the Captain with a sigh-and they'll have bathroom duty for two months, yes, even Luke

-Poor them-said Elijah with a giggle

-You're kidding? This was the funniest shit I've seen since a long time-said Elliot wheezing-oh God...why didn't I record it?

-I'm sure Wraith did-said Alicia before stretching a bit-alright people, drinks are on me today! For New Year!

All of them cheered once they heard that, and decided to go to one of the city bars before midnight, when they'll call their family on their own.

-And someone find those three for God's sake!

#oc #ocs #not sure if i'm ranting or just wanna write #meh #definitely both #alicia marchant #luke michaelis #edward jackson #jackson blackwell #noah garcía #elijah wilson #marcus lombardi #elliot stevens #nicholas fowlett #francis scott #alexander christensen #team charlie #tired writing

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vynsvision · 2 years

Text

Hello and welcome to the "long-awaited" follow-up to this first post back from June, the Vyn Richter SSR Card Review !!!

Surprisingly, there are only actually 3 ssr's that have come out since June, beside the upcoming Blizzardous Threads of Red card coming out just around the corner!! So let's get straight into it.

Committed - 4.5/5 stars

I love the art of this card, per usual. I dont really like seeing drawn kisses (or photographed, tbh) so I prefer this second version of the art vs the third, which has the kiss. I love the golden tones of this card and the thoughtfulness in his expression as he looks at the booch/pin thingy.

The story of this card is super cute, as its the 1st anniversary card, where Vyn and MC FINALLY confess their feelings, decide to become a couple, and, also, yanno, kiss. Its mostly from Vyn's POV if I recall correctly. Then in the last bit it switches to MC. But yeah super cute and trying to get the right brooch and all that. It was a while ago since I read this.

Fetters of the Past - 4/5 stars

Honestly a VERY cute card with MC worrying about Vyn and Vyn worrying about MC because there's someone following them??? And then we get to meet Vyn's dad (even tho he was uninvited) and we are told about how no one is worried about Vyn actually, just MC is, because Vyn and other family have experienced him going through death threats and assassination attempts before. The third art, the one I selected to view, is of his like fifteenth birthday where someone tries to kill either him or his dad and the assassin gets arrested.

Story overall is cute, but his first birthday card is just superior. I remember when this card came out for the CN servers and we were all wondering why the hell the art was glitching and there was blood!!! Its all good though :)

I dont remember if anyone belittled MC, but I do feel like she was adequately and kindly comforted, not as if it wasn't a serious threat. People were more concerned about MC's safety because now she's connected to the de Haspran family and isn't used to death threats.... even though she DOES get them because of the cases she takes thru Themis. (I recall a whole Luke or maybe Artem card/personal story plot about that, I feel like??)

Anywho overall, good card, still not as good as birthday one. I do enjoy more Svart info tho.

Aimed at Your Heart - 2/5

The stars are ENTIRELY for the artwork. The Snowfallen Secrets event and plot for this card are both kinda eh, and I've already ranted with theres-a-bea about the inaccuracies of the archery in this card. I think I blacked out what the third art is even for as I was so furious about the archery bullshit.

You can see that post here (check the reblogs/comments for ranting, lol) if you'd like.

Really really really pretty card tho and I had high hopes but was disappointed.

#vyn richter ssr card review #tears of themis #vyn richter #i think i wrote this post differently but yanno thats ok. i think i will edit this post and talk about the BToR Vyn card here once i get it

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cobrakaisb · 2 years

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the babysitters club

summary: y/n and thomas have a date night, leaving a group of the umich boys in charge of charlotte; chaos ensues

warnings: briss and kent not knowing how to handle children, comedic fluff

word count: 956

read the rest of the team baby series! part one, part two, part three

“are you sure this is a good idea?” y/n asked from her spot in the bathroom, where she was finishing getting ready for date night with thomas. the two of them had yet to go on an official date, and both were looking forward to some time to themselves.

“they’re going to be fine babe. charlotte is always with them and nothing has happened yet,” thomas replied. “yet? you think something will happen? maybe i should just call the sitter that i normally use,” y/n ranted, picking up her phone to call said sitter. thomas sighed, grabbing the phone from her hand. “y/n, mon amour, the boys are going to be just fine with charlotte. we’ll only be gone for a couple hours. besides, charlotte usually goes to sleep around seven, meaning she should only be awake for about thirty minutes after our departure,” thomas reasoned and y/n nodded, feeling at ease after his words.

that was absolutely not the case.

y/n and thomas left about an hour ago, and charlotte was still wide awake. “she should be asleep by now,” luke mumbled, looking at the notes y/n left for them on the kitchen counter. matty nodded in agreement, reading the paper over the freshmen’s shoulder. “maybe she needs a bottle?” he suggested. when luke nodded in agreement, the older boy began to prepare one.

suddenly, charlotte’s loud cries echoed throughout the house. “oh my god she’s crying again! why is she crying?” brendan exclaimed, looking around at the other boys. “i don’t know,” kent replied, looking at brendan and the baby. “here kent, you take her! figure out how to make her stop crying!” brendan said, holding charlotte out to the blonde boy, who was vigorously shaking his head no.

“i don’t know how to make babies stop crying. give her to owen, she likes him,” kent said, pointing to the tall hockey player who was lounging on the couch. owen nodded, sitting up a bit to hold charlotte. once she was in his arms, he tried to soothe the cries by rocking her and whispering soothing words.

that did not work.

“here. try the bottle, maybe she’s hungry?” matty suggested, handing owen the bottle he just prepared. everyone agreed, and owen tried to give charlotte the bottle but she was not having it. “c’mon char, work with me here,” owen grumbled, trying to give her the bottle, but charlotte refused and just kept crying.

“should we call y/n? she’ll know what to do,” luke asked, looking around at the other guys. “absolutely not! she’ll never trust us with charlotte again! and we’re her uncles, we can’t be deprived of visitation rights! plus you know how excited they were for this date tonight, the second she thinks something is wrong with charlotte she’ll come running back,” brendan argued. “true. but we don’t know what to do,” matty said. “should we google it?” kent asked, already pulling out his phone to google the best way to deal with a crying baby.

“okay, wikihow says to address the baby's basic needs as step one,” kent said. “like what a diaper change?” brendan asked, looking at the phone over kent’s shoulder. “exactly,” the canadian replied. “i don’t think that’s the problem. we changed her diaper ten minutes ago, literally right before she started crying,” owen said, gesturing for kent to move on.

“well step two isn’t going to work since she won’t drink the bottle. do you think she needs to be burped?” kent asked. “who cares! let’s try it,” brendan said, grabbing a cloth for owen to lay on his shoulder. “why am i doing this? aren’t you trying to be the godfather briss?” owen griped, adjusting charlotte so that she was upright. “if this comes in the job description you can take it,” the brunette answered, followed by matty slapping him on the shoulder.

after a few minutes of burping charlotte seemed to calm down. the boys all sighed in relief, thinking the crying was over and she would settle down for bed. once again, they were wrong. “that’s it. i’m calling y/n and thomas. there’s no way that wikihow has a solution for this,” luke announced, dialing y/n’s number.

“no! there’s one more thing. wikihow said she might need something to chew on, like her pacifier,” kent said, halting luke’s actions. “great. where are the pacifiers?” brendan asked. “i think they’re in the cabinet with all the baby stuff, or maybe in the diaper bag,” owen suggested, getting up to help look.

“here’s the big bird one!” matty shouted, holding up the bright yellow pacifier to show the boys. “okay rinse it off with hot water,” owen instructed, holding his hand out for it. matty did as he was told, passing the pacifier to owen, who held it up to charlotte’s lips. she accepted the item easily, her tears subsiding. the boys waited with bated breaths for her to fully calm down before allowing any sort of relief to sink in. thankfully, charlotte stayed quiet, her eyes slowly closing as owen rocked her in his arms.

just as she fully settled down, the front door opened. y/n and thomas walked into the house. “we’re home!” thomas shouted, and all the boys grimaced, praying that charlotte didn’t wake up. “how’d it go? i hope she didn’t cause any problems,” y/n said, walking into the kitchen. the boys all shook their heads no. “she was fine. we had a great time,” brendan answered. “perfect. that means you can watch her again next week when we go on another date,” thomas said, clapping his best friend on the shoulder.

the five boys’ eyes widened at thomas’s words.

#umich hockey #umich hockey imagines #umich hockey blurb #thomas bordeleau #thomas bordeleau imagine #brendan brisson #kent johnson #owen power #luke hughes #matty beniers #thomas bordeleau x reader #team baby #cobrakaisb writing

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phoenixyfriend · 3 years

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Fake Sith TCW Trio

I have another fucked up time-travel AU! Who’s surprised? (Nobody.)

So like. Have you guys read that one fic where Luke and his students go back in time and pretend to be Sith Lords and are super hammy about it? (Sith Lord Swell by AMournfulHowlInTheNight)

This AU has contributions by @atagotiak, @the-lunar-system, @purronronner, @gelpenss, @creepingthroughthistidalwave, and @thisarenotarealblog.

I want TCW trio (plus Rex and Cody) to go back to several years pre-TPM and, since the Council DEFINITELY won't believe them about the Sith being back... they'll force the issue.

Anakin is weirdly excited about things and building up their backstory.

Anakin: Okay so I can definitely be a Maul type, with the unhinged ranting and manic laughter, Obi-Wan can be the whole Refined Rich Guy type like Dooku, where you can't even tell he's evil until he starts talking about getting out the eyeball scoops, maybe toss in a bit of mad science stuff? Ahsoka could play up like Ventress OR, oh oh, she can be the Light Side Child we need to PROTECT who's publicly begging us to return to the Light after our big dramatic Falls where we murdered like eighty people to save her, and-- Obi-Wan: Why are you never this enthusiastic about actual undercover missions. Ahsoka: Did you just have all this ready to go, or...? Anakin: WE COULD GET YELLOW CONTACT LENSES FOR ME.

Obi-Wan: How's my evil laugh?

Anakin going “Okay.. so if any of us need to murder someone to sell the bit it should be me, I think I could handle it the best. Why? No reason.”

Obi-Wan: I'm not sure a complete Fall could come from protecting Ahsoka, really-- Anakin: No, no, it could.

Obi-Wan: Surely you’d hold back because you realize neither of us want that for you. Anakin: Uh. Sure. Definitely.

Obi-Wan points out that none of them can channel the dark side to Prove they're Sith and Anakin just goes "Okay, give me like two seconds to stew in my negativity and--right, you can stop staring in horror, please."

Anakin rambles on that they can TOTALLY make the galaxy a better place while playing at being Sith! He's got a whole LIST of slave empires to "take over" and disassemble!

Anakin has a whole excited spiel about how EVIL soldiers and assistants are minions, in this case partly because Cody and Rex are too good at what they do to be mooks. Cody could pull off evil minion very well. Facial scar? Looks good in black? Quietly competent and sarcastic?

He also pushes for Obi-Wan to lounge in a fancy throne with a glass of wine while Anakin stalks the shadows and Ahsoka hangs out on the window ledge. The disaster lineage is dramatic, okay, Anakin’s just leaning into it, he’d appreciate it if everyone stopped looking at him like that.

Qui-Gon, surprisingly, ends up a skeptic about all of this. Everyone is freaking out about the Sith and he’s like “y’know I’m not even sure they’re darksiders.”

Some Jedi, possibly Qui-Gon for his conspiracy board, gets in a real risky situation and one of the Fake Sith saves them, but also panics and kinda drops character for a bit.

Jedi: You saved me! Why’d you do that? Anakin: I uh... just wanted the pleasure of killing you myself?

"You saved me. Why?" "Mmmm. Jedi." [walks away]

Qui-Gon: [trying to figure out what is up with these people semi-competently (from his perspective) pretending to be Sith] Dooku: [trying to protect Qui-Gon from Sith influence]

The gang is the most successful at pretending to be Sith to Dooku. Sure, they’re not gonna punish him for something he hasn’t done, but it’s not hard to act menacing and angry around him.

(They really do have so much fun irritating the heck out of Dooku. He hasn’t Fallen yet, but they want to keep an eye out.)

At some point, future Obi-Wan definitely drops that little tidbit of "What, you didn't think the Banites were the only Sith running around did you? You... didn't even know about the Banites. How... disappointing."

They REGULARLY use Ahsoka as an excuse to be marginally less terrible. They claim that if Ahsoka pouts, they stop. ‘Soka also uses them as an excuse for why she’s a lil feral. (To be fair, that one is accurate. She was already a lil feral before but it’s not like they did anything to stop it.) Ahsoka gets her "breaking into people's offices" jollies by bugging Nute Gunray's office.

The Jedi keep trying to Rescue Ahsoka.

Rex and Cody end up in real beskar, there's a whole Thing with Mandalore and Jango and Satine.

Obi-Wan is CONSISTENTLY worried about Anakin Falling for real, which... hey, at least he knows to be worried about Anakin Falling. Step up from canon, really.

Anakin is WAY too into killing the Hutts but like. It does... technically sell the bit.

Obi-Wan: Sure, I’m not sad that they’re dead, especially because we’re not connected to the Republic, so we don’t need to worry about starting a war and all that. But. Anakin is disturbingly cheerful about this. Rex: Wasn't he a Hutt slave? Obi-Wan: Well yes, but-- Rex: I'd kill Nala Se if I could get away with it.

Cody and Rex are very supportive of Anakin's murderous intentions.

Obi-Wan does understand anger, even killing someone in anger. Like Maul (the first time at least) and D’nar and a few others. All the same, like... y’know. The level of bloodthirst from the others is a little off-putting.

At one point, Anakin accidentally addresses young Obi-Wan by name, despite never having met before, and to cover it up, he... panic-flirts. He panics, and so he flirts, with young Obi-Wan.

(He will later blame this on old Obi-Wan, because he had to pick up the habit of flirting with the enemy from somewhere.)

Anakin vaguely implies that he's a wee bit obsessed with young Obi, and that the padawan should "get used to being the target of a dark-sider's interests," because he’s scrambling for Ominous Shit and, well, future Obi-Wan was pretty frequently a fixation point for darksiders, right?

The second he gets out, he just starts screaming into a bucket while Rex pats him on the back.

For the next however many terrible months, possibly years, he has to keep up the act while having an ongoing meltdown about how That's My Dad As A Twenty-Something.

(It doesn't help that young Obi-Wan reflexively flirted back.)

Old Obi-Wan, meanwhile, is just very "you dug this hole yourself, padawan."

There is an argument at the beginning about Obi-Wan’s outfit. If he’s gonna be a Sith, he can’t just go around in beige, but he’s like “I like this and it’s comfy.” Sure, he’s changed clothes for undercover stuff, but that’s always been temporary, y’know? He likes his beige.

We have a number of options.

My first instinct? Beige linen three piece suit, like a southern lawyer. "Now I may just be a simple Outer Rim force adept--"

And, of course, you can TOTALLY make the beige sinister: he’s impersonating a Jedi! Jedi impersonation would also explain why nobody has a red saber.

“Sure is good that the Jedi don’t seem to realize most of the galaxy doesn’t know red sabers are different and bad.” “Shhhh, stop poking holes in our story where a Jedi might overhear.”

Like.... if you do enough doublethink, it works! How would a Sith hide? In plain sight. Also, it’s a GREAT way (if they were actually assholes) to try to slander the Jedi name.

(Anakin and Ahsoka still think he could stand to put a little more effort in. Add a splash of color, for pity's sake!)

Though tbh part of me is like “What if Old Obi wore, like... a split skirt suit...” Victorian womenswear inspired because he misses his robes, but he has to look Professional, and like he's MOCKING Jedi instead of BEING one, so he wears a vintage-y split skirt thing over his leggings. Ends up looking a lot like what Ventress had for a while, but Beige. I also keep wanting to put him regency menswear.

Anyway. Obi-Wan’s wardrobe aside...

Anakin builds up his Tatoo accent again. It helps him with the (mostly true) "slavery helped me fall" backstory.

Either Cody or Rex offhandedly mentions being made to serve them (the Fake Sith) and now the Jedi are somewhat concerned about brainwashing. Are these Mandos the victims here?

“No like. Literally made for this. In a lab.” This is even more horrifying. So...

On the one hand good! The Jedi should be scared about Sith! On the other hand... it makes the Jedi more determined to stop them, specifically. They keep on getting in the way, just, all the time, and they’re not investigating the actual Sith problem, which is decidedly not great since the Team doesn’t actually know who’s a real Sith right now, except Maul, and who even knows where that guy is.

Obi-Wan, at some point: Do you think we've succeeded at this ruse... a little TOO well? Anakin: I don't follow. Obi-Wan, gesturing at the truly obnoxious amount of wealth they've collected, including "trophies" of their kills: Really? Because I'm a little worried! Anakin, planning out a battle to take on Nar Shadda: ...I'm not.

"How many people do we realistically we need to take over Hutt Space? Apparently... five."

(Mostly because Anakin is ridiculously op.)

ANAKIN AND YOUNG OBI GET KIDNAPPED BY PIRATES TOGETHER. It's tradition.

Anakin: Okay, so, I need to get really angry about something to pass as a Sith... time to think about my WIFE and how I'll NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.

Since Anakin’s life never goes as planned... this does not work. Instead of getting properly angry, he makes himself sad. There are tears. There is wailing. There’s a distraught rant or two. Young Obi ends up awkwardly trying to comfort him.

“Oh no, this… Sith?? Is crying on me. What do I do???”

Later on, when the Council wants intel: "So... one of the Sith cried on me about his wife. I think she's dead? He wasn't very clear about it but it, uh... it sounded like it might have contributed to his Fall. Also the relationship was a little unhealthy? He basically worshiped the ground she walked on and kept ranting about how he would have given her the galaxy on a platinum platter of she'd only asked, but that might be new and inspired by the Dark."

One of the random Jedi is REALLY good at detecting the truth Through The Force, and asks Anakin how he Fell...

Anakin just. Tells the Tuskens story.

They don't get pinged as lying, but oh boy does old Obi have a LOT of questions for Anakin once they're in private.

There are other things happening to help sell the ruse. Some of them are necessary! Some of them are... not.

Obi-Wan: What's the best way to show we're rich and kind of evil, but like... classy about it? Anakin, immediately: I sit on the floor next to the throne, leaning against it, and you call me pet names while stroking my hair, and then when you need something killed I get to do it for you and then I go back to the floor and you thank me for the directed violence, and then you go back to Negotiations with criminals while I’m sitting there covered in blood. Obi-Wan: ...is there something you want to TELL us, or...?

"You're all going to get a glimpse of something normally kept hidden about me." "Anakin, you don't have to do that." "No, I'm gonna."

(Anakin has decided hes going to peel his kink tomato to sell this ruse, and the others are slightly uncomfortable with that.)

Anakin: Okay, I cannot keep flirting with you. Young Obi: Wait, what? But that's the best part of any time we run into you! Anakin: You look WAY too much like my Master did when I met him. Obi: O...kay? If someone looked like my master when HE was young, I'd-- Anakin: My Sith Master half-raised me. He's basically my dad. Obi: ... Anakin: What's that look for? Obi: I mean, you spend a lot of time lounging at his feet, and, like, given how much you hate slavery, I... kind of assumed it was a kink thing? Anakin, brightly: Oh no, I just have a LOT of trauma. And neuroses. Snips says they’re neuroses.

Young Obi is a little upset because he was actually getting REALLY into Flirting With The Enemy and was hoping it would go somewhere. He mopes to Qui-Gon about it. Qui-Gon isn't sure whether to be proud about Obi breaking rules, or worried over Obi-Wan falling for a Fake Sith.

(As Tia put it: "You enjoy making young Obi-Wan have a completely unrequited crush on Anakin, don’t you?")

Fortunately, one of those attractive Young Mando boys very kindly helped him tape up his ribs this one time, and has thus caught his eye...

I feel like having Cody date Young Obi would court an entirely different kind of (internet) drama because clone ages, but whatever.

Also please imagine an element of "so I'm dating the genetic identical of my boss... who's dating the man I'm a genetic identical of..."

(It's probably not actually Jangobi but man would that be funny and also stupid.)

Somehow Young Obi figures out that the "Sith Master" is a future him before he realizes that they're not actually dark. In his defense, Anakin was pretty convincing. Especially with the wife rant. It makes HIM more obsessed with Anakin, in a reversal of the implied earlier dynamic, which is all kinds of weird. Less romantic but like. Still weird.

"Future Me Scares Me" with Extra stupid. "Future Me Annoys Me." "Future Me acts like grandmaster Dooku, but more sass." "Future Me raised a really hot evil guy that refuses to bang Present Me." "Future Me might be a Sith, but I'm getting more and more convinced he's just fucking with us all." "Future Me is really rocking that beard, and I can't BELIEVE we figured out a way around the babyface."

"I’m kinda concerned about the whole evil thing, but I’m also glad that I know I’ll stay hot as I get older."

Quinlan approves of the priorities.

Also a lot of interactions with older Obi are very Anakin: [does/says something deeply unhinged] Obi-Wan: So, do you want to…. Talk about that? Maybe? Anakin: What’s there to talk about?? I’m fine, everything’s fine! Anyways how about those plans for tracking down Maul?

Anakin later, like way after the ruse is lifted, just blankly tells everyone that he did Fall, once, and Older Obi made him get therapy about it after the truth came out between the two of them a few months into the Fake Sith thing.

Where'd they find a therapist? I'm sure there's one SOMEWHERE around. Denon and Herdessa are close enough, and they've done enough "your criminal empire now belongs to me" that they can pay well. They make sure to find one that takes confidentiality real seriously.

It's all very "we need some more time to unpack all that."

Therapy helps get Anakin to figure out Sheev’s whole deal. They don't necessarily figure out he’s a Sith from it, but they figure out he’s sketchy and they need to look into that more. Obi-Wan probably already thought he was sketchy, but the whole active gaslighting campaign was a little surprising. They realize that he kinda benefited a lot from a lot of Sith plots and they still probably don’t think he’s a Sith but Obi-Wan is definitely starting to think he’s working with one.

"Okay, we're already bugging Gunray, should we bug Palpatine just to be safe?"

They get away with a lot of slicing because Anakin is a technical genius from twenty years in the future.

The reasons they're so good at Taking Over Hutt Space: 1. They know parts of the future. 2. They have superpowers and FAR less reason to not use them, now that their actions aren't going to reflect on the Republic. 3. They have Cody and Rex, who are two of the greatest military minds in the galaxy, and know EXACTLY how to wage a war that covers a solid third of the galaxy, starting from a position of relative weakness. 4. Anakin's charisma is scary high, and his knowledge of slave culture means they gain a lot of trust from the people they free, and they just... keep acquiring volunteers for the army they didn't plan to have. Obi-Wan doesn't know what to do. He thinks they might have started a cult?

In his defense, Dooku sort of started a cult, and Komari got kidnapped by a cult, brainwashed into joining it properly, and then took it over as head figure of said cult. It's practically tradition!

Comics Vader is the central figure of like three different cults, it was really just inevitable.

Anakin: Aw, don't worry master, it's not a cult, it's a revolution! Ahsoka: They're worshiping him, though. Anakin: ...it's still a revolution! Just... with some misunderstandings.

Also, if they got wind of people trying to keep people from being able to leave and other culty stuff like that, they’d probably put a stop to it pretty damn quick.

Names! Time for names. As per usual, it's easiest to keep track of Obi-Wan's alternate Older Self by just calling him Ben.

Darth Ben.

Ahsoka: You should be Darth Boring. Obi-Wan: I can still make you run laps, you know.

Anakin: The Force is telling me to call myself Darth Vader. Obi-Wan: ...why? Anakin: I dunno, but it sounds cool, I'll run with it.

Someone: Ben has all the answers; we shouldn’t question him, ever. Ben: One time I lost a planet, and a five-year-old found it for me.

More options: Going with the "evil word with the prefix 'in' chopped off" that we get with Sidious and Vader: Darth Surrectus (as in insurrection) Just random Latin words: Darth Temporus (time) Darth Commenticius (fake)

Anyway, back to Nonsense:

Maul goes after young Obi early, because the Fake Sith are really invested in this one random Padawan (Sidious is saying he might be a cousin of the false Sith Master? They do look similar enough) so someone needs to investigate. Naturally, Anakin shows up with some wild screeching to fight Maul, and when someone questions why he got involved it gets very "Kenobi is MINE!" and like. Okay. So.

Anakin means it in a very Sith "to toy with" and "to torture" way, or the ‘my chosen opponent!’ way, just the same kind of Obsession as Maul had with Obi-Wan in the original timeline. Unfortunately, Anakin’s a weird-ass person who flirts with Young Obi against his own better judgement, so there's some awkward "Like... your boyfriend?" from young Obi. Anakin just screeches in SOME emotion that nobody wants to interpret, and couldn't even if they wanted to, and starts whacking away at Maul again.

(Anakin hasn't explained the "you look exactly like my dad, sorry, it's just too weird" thing yet, and he is HAVING MANY REGRETS.)

There's definitely at least one instance where a person asks Anakin if he's planning on dating That One Jedi Twink, or at least banging out the tension. At that point in time, Anakin doesn't actually know who the fuck they're talking about, because "Obi-Wan + Twink = Does Not Compute" for dear, dense Ani, and instead he just ends up ranting about how he is LOYAL TO THE MEMORY OF HIS LATE WIFE, how DARE anyone so much as INSINUATE that he would TARNISH HER PERFECT MEMORY and UNWAVERING KINDNESS and WHOLESOME BEING, and the person who asked doesn't end up lightsabered but they do end up with a LOT to tell whoever they're reporting to.

Young Obi-Wan definitely hears Anakin mutter the phrase “something to discuss with my therapist later” a few times, and he’s a little bewildered because darksiders definitely don’t seem like the type of people to go to therapy. They’re the type of people to need therapy, sure, but not the type to go to therapy.

I think it would be very fun for Young Obi to continue sighing over Anakin (who's pretending to be fine with it and even flirting back because he's in too deep to stop and hasn't worked up the courage to explain the elephant in the room) while Anakin is covered in grease and infodumping while having a slightly manic hyperfocus on engine repairs while the two of them Somehow got stranded together in the middle of bumfuck nowhere (it's Plagueis's doing, he finds the interactions between THESE two in particular to be the most informative regarding the fake Sith).

Anakin, at some point while stranded with young Obi-Wan, and having actually started unpacking some stuff in therapy, though he’s def still got a ways to go: I’m pretty sure Ben cares about me. He acts like he cares, like he’ll do stuff like put extra blankets in my quarters in the spaceship because I get cold real easily or track down those droid parts I need for a project and he always has my back in a fight but y’know it’d be nice to hear him say he loves me once in a while. Especially because we kinda had a rough start and idk I don’t think he wanted me around at first.

And uh. Obi-Wan definitely relates to that a bit too much, y’know?

I want to say that Young Obi ends up mentioning All That to one of the clones or Ahsoka later, because they seem probably invested in Anakin's well-being, even if Ben is, well, a Sith, so Obi-Wan's a little worried the man's affection really is fake, but at least Ahsoka...

(Ironic, given what Anakin's actual eventual Sith would-be-Master was like.)

Young Obi mentions Anakin’s most recent rant to Ahsoka, and she just goes "Wait, is that why Skyguy likes to sit by the throne and get called pet names?" "Uh... I don't... know... but it sounds like all of you have a LOT to unpack there, Miss Apprentice."

Later on: "Master Kenobi, you need to tell Skyguy you love him 'cause apparently he's been having a lot of emotions about you not telling him you care and he's been talking to mini-you about it whenever they get stuck together and--"

Young Obi-Wan is just constantly the "Now we don't have time to unpack all of that" John Mulaney gif. Anakin in particular is a mess, and young Obi-Wan slowly goes from "I want to date that" to "I want to study that" about him.

Obi-Wan gets stuck somewhere with Ben, tries to small talk, gets on the topic of Vader, and spills the drama. He gets an awkward “Thank you for bringing that to my attention.”

It’s followed by a fairly frustrated “I try, but Anakin refuses to communicate his needs to me, and it feels like I’m always falling short.”

At least one member of the group is in therapy, probably all of them, but they’re still using young Obi as a sounding board for all this stuff. On the bright side, this is probably good for impressing the importance of good communication on Obi-Wan.

Good for Obi-Wan! And... whatever Padawan he eventually has.

As for baby Anakin, who is approximately age four, I want to go with "Anakin decides to be his own uncle, and Shmi just rolls with it because fuck it, she’s not a slave anymore, and a Fake Sith is a solid defense against anyone trying to re-enslave them."

[This is a backstory I've had them use before (see here and here).]

Seeing Big Ani and Little Ani in the same space might be what finally pings the "oh shit, that's future me" thing for Obi-Wan... you know, if he’s ever allowed close enough to see Little Ani in the first place.

Little Ani stays with the fake-Sith and is sorta jointly trained by all of them, and young Obi-Wan teaches little 'Soka at the Temple. Ani and 'Soka still end up friends somehow, but it is fairly different.

Every time little Ani addresses Old Obi as "Dad," it's just like ten kinds of awkward. The one time someone tried to explain that Ben wasn't his new dad, Shmi glared them down. She is of the opinion that, all the gods be damned, Ani deserves to refer to the most mature man in his life, who raised another him in another timeline already, as a father.

Ani doesn't NEED a father, Shmi herself is more than enough, but he does deserve to have this if he wants it.

An alternative conclusion to the time travel is uh. So the Mandalorians are genetically identical (give or take a hair gene) and really resemble Jango Fett, though whether anyone notices that is up in the air. Then the three ‘Sith’ (two fake Sith and their morality chain tag-along) have three younger, identical copies show up….

It could be really weird cloning shenanigans. Now, it makes no sense that they’d make clones, and stagger their production like that, and leave them as babies on various planets for Jedi to find. IDK what reasons Obi-Wan would come up with for that, but it’s a fun little detour before he gets to time travel.

There's a really painful moment (for the audience, who know about canon Vader) where someone tries to convince Ahsoka to leave the Sith and she's just like "no way, they'd never hurt me!” Then she clarifies that “someone has to keep them from doing stupid Sith shit whenever they get bored, you know?"

A bunch of Jedi probably think she’s delusional, but the few that have seen her get into trouble that is legitimately too much for her, which isn't often, have then seen Anakin show up like the devil himself to save her, and it's like. Oh. This is why she isn't scared of them hurting her.

We’ve discussed how Anakin does get concerningly in character with the fake Sith thing. However, Anakin and Ahsoka are, just once in a while, surprised by how Ben gets sometimes when playing the bad guy.

After all, he stabbed a dude with a fork and threatened to eat him during his time as Hardeen…

He has the same dramatic streak as all the rest of the lineage. He can be vindictive and creepy and scary as fuck.

HOWEVER:

Obi-Wan: I know I'm supposed to be playing at evil right now, but how do we feel about me making that evil a little... fruity? Ahsoka: Fruity, master? Anakin, who knows where this is going: [buries face in hands] Obi-Wan: You know, the... [limp wrist] Ahsoka: ... Obi-Wan: I mean, I'm already bisexual and well-groomed, I can play it up.

What’s the point of being evil if you can’t be flamboyant?

Anyway, I had to put in a lot of thought for what to do with Rex and Cody, because there's a solid place for them in terms of strategy, but it doesn't do much to give them independent narrative arcs, and 'young Obi-Wan has a crush' isn't much of an arc, you know?

So, basic info first: Cody, Rex, and Anakin all hold the rank of General in this AU because, like... who else is gonna. Ahsoka remains a commander because everyone declares her Baby, and also to keep up the "I'm a morality chain" ruse.

Cody maintains a very stern and unyielding public persona, but the second they're behind closed doors, he's roughhousing with his little brother.

Rex has some fun pretending to be a sadist whenever he and Anakin have to team up, because hamming it up as an evil bastard in front of Jedi is actually really fun... but usually, he's a competent fucking professional.

Because here's the thing: someone has to be.

They both kind of hate the army they've gotten, because these people don't even have proper trigger discipline, let alone any actual discipline.

This army? Tragic. They hate it. Give them the clones.

They have to be drill sergeants for months before they have anything worth sending onto the field.

I think that might be how/when they end up reaching out to Jango. Like, the first inroad is absolutely "we're your clones from the future and you were a Shit Dad so you owe us," but then they actually talk him around into letting the Fake Sith hire him. He brings along all the Mandalorians he can get to answer his calls, and on suggestion from Those Mando Twins, joins the army Ben doesn't even want.

Darth Boring doesn't want an army! Unfortunately, Cody thinks that's stupid as hell, and is overruling Ben so they can actually work on this 'cleaning up the galaxy of slavery' thing with actual resources.

Cody and Rex are super competent, and it shows in their horrified disdain for the state of their troops.

Rex: Fucking natborns. Anyone who isn't in the know: What's a natborn? Rex: [leaves without answering] People: WHAT'S A NATBORN???

(I'm assuming that the word smush is harder to parse in Basic.)

I think young Obi-Wan's new crush on Cody should also be unrequited. Cody's just like... bemused. Very "Okay, then, that sure is an Affection you've decided on."

Cody and Anakin both: Sorry, it’d just be too weird. Obi-Wan: Why would it be too weird? Cody and Anakin: Reasons.

Rex has to deal with the "whyyyyy" from both his brother and his (former?) General.

Young Obi-Wan just likes cute boys that fight good! Is that so wrong???

Ahsoka: So since we're not officially Jedi anymore-- Obi-Wan: We're still Je-- Ahsoka: Can we date? Can I date now? I want to date someone before we go back to the Code. It's a classic life experience for most teenage girls, and I want to Have That Experience before we're back at the Temple. Obi-Wan: You're not... you can date, Ahsoka, that's not actually banned by the Code. I mean, you'd have to keep it casual, but-- Ahsoka: I CAN DATE!!!

(Great priorities, Ahsoka.)

An idea I'm toying with is that one of the clones ends up Legally Engaged to Satine for political reasons, and young Obi-Wan is just like ???? because not only can he not date the hot boys, but one of said hot boys has become Mr. Steal Yo Girl.

Young Obi-Wan is suffering, and Quinlan is the worst friend ever because Quinlan is laughing at him.

There is obviously the question of

"How would Satine ever end up agreeing to that, given what their public personas are like and all that? She puts duty ahead of personal feelings but all indications are that it’s a terrible decision both ways." (as stated by Tia)

Which, yes, I forgot to actually say that I was imagining Jango had declared "those twins" his heirs after telling people they were his younger* cousins. Because reasons.

* Jango is about 27 when they land in the past, and I’m going to say the accelerated aging ended after hitting physically twenty because no, I don’t want to deal with that. As far as anyone knows, Cody and Rex are about five years younger than Jango. They’re less than year apart, which isn’t very visible, and most people assume they’re identical twins (except Rex’s hair), and that Cody just looks slightly older because of the scar.

Darth Boring had convinced Satine that the way to keeping Mandalore peaceful was to work with Jango (because Darth Boring, which is not his actual title but it is what Ahsoka insists on calling him in private, has a vested interest in keeping Mandalore and all interested parties calm), and he... maybe accidentally set up a political marriage between her and one of the clones.

It wasn't on purpose! Satine never married in his timeline, okay, he didn't expect her to ever get married here, either! He didn't even suggest it! This just happened!

(I want to say that Cody would be more competent at having a political marriage? But IDK.)

Do I do the Satine thing? It has potential, but also it's a bit of a cop-out. Do I have Cody be a diplomatic representative for their pseudo-Sith empire? He could be, but I think he'd hate it. Do I have Rex date one the Chaos Entities (Anakin or Ahsoka), or is that too repetitive with my other works? THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH GOING ON.

Part of me wants Quinlan to get a crush on Cody, and the crush gets bigger specifically in response to the fact that Cody refuses to take him seriously and/or just doesn't give him the time of day.

Based on their one interaction in TCW, they probably let get along ok. Cody maybe likes him back, buuuuuuut internally he's just a little "you were tolerable at almost-forty; early twenties you is obnoxious."

Just imagine the absolutely puppyish attempts at gaining approval and Impressing The Hot Mando General. Quinlan keeps having vague daydreams of seducing someone to the side of the Light. He really leans into the bodice ripper fantasies of saving someone evil with the power of love! (And also the power of really good sex.)

Bant looks at Quin and Obi and wants to throw them both into the nearest pond because they're idiots, but on this topic they are the same flavor of idiot. She considers calling up Reeft and Garen to help her knock some sense into them.

Quinlan: Can I volunteer to go undercover to the Sith? The Council: No. Quinlan: ...what if I-- The Council: No.

Tholme tries to get Qui-Gon to commiserate over their Padawans getting obsessed with Hot Sith Boys, but Qui-Gon just finds the whole thing funny. He knows from the chats he has with Ben that Anakin feels so completely, utterly, incredibly awkward about all of this.

(Ben continues to hold to "Anakin brought this on himself.")

(Ben also “kidnaps” Qui-Gon a lot.)

Also, hey, at least Quinlan isn’t actually into hot Sith boys! He’s into hot Sith minions which is... probably a step up. At least Cody’s not a Sith himself!

It's a step in some direction but Tholme has no idea which one.

(Quinlan sees Cody in dress uniform once and just keeps the mental image for Ages. It’s in his dreams. Sometimes said dreams overflow to Tholme via Force Mind Magic and Quinlan wakes up to someone smacking his face with a pillow.)

Arguably, Quin's also a lot more romantic about his crush than Obi-Wan is, in this case. Quinlan: I want to save him... Obi-Wan: Hey, hey, cute boy. Look at me. Let’s bang.

Cody: There are currently two future Jedi generals having some form of absurd romantic fixation in my direction. I don't know how to feel about this. Rex: Bed them. Cody: ...I'm not saying that's not eventually an option, but one of them is the younger Kenobi, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that. Rex: Pat him on the head like a tooka and then bed his friend, it'll be funny.

I think the Quinlan thing and also general exasperation of leading an absolutely useless army can function pretty solidly as the basis for Cody, but I have another idea for Rex now.

Komari is currently brainwashed in a cult, yes? So.

I keep bouncing around back and forth on what to do with Rex, but part of me suddenly really likes the idea of, after Team Fake Sith finds and dissolves the cult (as one does), and takes Komari into custody (because she's dangerous and deeply unwell), Rex kind of ends up her touchstone to being a decent person. He’s not a morality chain, and it’s not really a redeemed-through-love thing, just This Is A Solid Dude who doesn't pity her or thinks she's irredeemable (however you choose to define such a thing), but actually relates to the kind of conditions living like that can involve, and just kind of...

I don’t know. I think Rex's arc in this AU could be very heavily grounded in something to the effect of "You're not the worst darksider I've met. You're not the only person who was in a cult. You're not even the only former Jedi I know that's committed awful, horrible crimes. My question is just this: What are you going to do moving forward?"

Later Anakin: Wait, who do we know that was in a cult? Rex: What did you think Kamino was?

(Rex isn't as chill as he'd like her to think, but he's trying, and she's fairly reliant on the Force to understand emotions, and is currently in nullifying cuffs, so he can bluff.)

Komari needs someone solid and dependable to rely on for at least conversation, and I think Rex needs to feel needed.

I’m not sure if it’d be romance or friendship, but I think there's a solid basis to work with, potentially.

Per Tia:

One thing about Rex and shipping is like. If you want to do Rexwalker again that's fine, but if you're worried about repetitiveness but still want to like. Ship him in a non-political-convenience way. Rexsoka here actually would be different than your other stuff.

I'm trying to figure out if I can make it work because Ahsoka thematically fits very much into a little sister shaped hole here? She feels younger than in other works, despite not actually being younger than she is in, say, Commander Buir. In those other fics, she has some time alone to function and prove herself independently of Anakin and Obi-Wan.

I usually pluck Ahsoka out at sixteen if I'm pulling her from TCW, so she's got most of her competence but hasn't gotten quite all the trauma yet. Commander Buir, in particular, also has baby-shaped Anakin for contrast.

That said, I can see a decent source of narrative conflict in her wanting to experiment with romance and all that, and Anakin trying to tell her she's too young.

A year into this whole time-travel mess, she wants to give the dating thing a shot, and it spirals into "You were only two years older than me when you got married!"

I think I could build a plot out of Ahsoka wanting to do these things, and Anakin as an audience insert not quite processing that she's old enough to make these decisions. If she's choosing to date Rex, whose age works out as being close to hers when one takes into account Kamino fuckery, and whom she trusts absolutely, it’s arguably extra weird for Anakin to be upset with it.

"Senator Amidala was five years older than you, and you married her when you were nineteen and had only really known her for a week! I can go on a date with a guy we both know is one of the most trustworthy people alive if I want, Skyguy!"

I can definitely see Ahsoka getting annoyed with Anakin being overbearing and controlling at some point before that unrelated to romance, too. It’s not exactly a new fault of his.

My god, just imagine someone snidely asking Anakin "where's your little shadow?" and Anakin, being Himself and also a Fake Sith, has an emotional breakdown about how Ahsoka yelled at him for micromanaging her and not trusting her to make her own decisions in life and so she got herself a multi-month solo mission from Ben that Anakin isn't allowed to know any details about, and--

It's another one of those "oh, you have PROBLEMS problems with your mental health" incidents for the Jedi to add to the file, because Anakin having emotionally charged rants about his issues at seemingly terrible times is how they get a lot of information.

Some of the rants are planned.

Many of them, actually.

They want the Jedi to know these things.

Just, well. Anakin.

He really is a little Like That.

On that note, I'm low-key imagining that Anakin gets put on mood stabilizers by the therapist in this context, and he's doing good! He's handling his issues! He's--been captured with Obi-Wan the Younger again and his medication was confiscated.

Anakin is... not great. He's a little out of practice managing his unmedicated self, and when adding withdrawal symptoms onto that... poor Anakin.

(Poor Obi-Wan.)

I think it would be best if Anakin makes a bunch of ominous blustery comments at their captors about how they won't like what's coming to them if they take his belongings (AKA the fanny pack that has his backup pills), and then Obi-Wan just gets to watch Anakin get more and more erratic, because like. Yes, Anakin is using the Force to compensate, but unfortunately he's mostly cut off, and the stress of the situation is pushing him away from depression and into the beginnings of a manic episode.

Anakin is aware of his issues to the point where he's mostly managing, and he keeps asking Obi-Wan "would it make sense for me to [slightly deranged, very impulsive action]," and Obi-Wan realizes he's being the morality sounding board for the Hot Sith because ??? reasons?????

Eventually, Anakin does flop back in bed and dramatically throws his arm over his eyes, and says he needs his meds back, he's absolutely going to lose it, and Obi-Wan tentatively asks what kind of medication. There are levels to worry about. Mild allergy medication is one thing, but heart medication that needs to be taken every four hours is another, you know? He wants to know how much panic is appropriate.

Anakin lets him know that it's Psychiatric In Nature. Obi-Wan suddenly realizes that he really, really, really doesn't want to know what a properly erratic, unmedicated Anakin is like.

(An unmedicated Anakin really isn't nearly as bad as Obi-Wan fears. Anakin's been dealing with this for a while, and knows what his issues are and some of how to deal with them. He'd need to be running on no sleep and higher levels of stress, or to have been drugged with something meant to increase his aggression, to really lose his shit and do something worthy of Vader. RotS levels of stress and sleep deprivation is required to pull RotS levels of manic paranoid delusion.)

Tia asked:

How long does it take the Jedi in general to catch on to how like. They have opportunities. But these Sith never seem to harm any Jedi. And it’s not just like, the past timeline parts of the disaster lineage. They probably get opportunities to hurt other Jedi. Ones that are less skilled at saber work. And more importantly ones that they don’t seem weirdly interested in."

I'm not sure, really. The Jedi don't spend as much time in the Outer Rim as they could, and that's where the Team operates, so actually running into them by accident is unlikely for anyone other than Shadows.

Fortunately, it's really easy to toy with Shadows with the excuse of "I want to see how long it takes before you Fall with us."

I do want like... okay. Here’s the mental image:

Qui-Gon calls them out on being Fake Sith pretty quickly, so Ben just sort of eyes him, dramatically, and orders out "Leave us" to all non-team people. The threat of torture is implied but not stated. He gestures with wine to keep in character. He definitely makes sure Young Obi-Wan is ushered out, so it's just five time travelers, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Ahsoka's immortal force birb.

"...so, what's the reason for the farce, Obi-Wan?" "How in all the hells did you figure it out so quickly?"

(Qui-Gon cheated a bit. He could feel the broken training bond that was never properly severed due to Traumatic Death Of A Master on Ben's end)

Ben didn't realize he'd feel it! Young Obi-Wan can't feel his older self or a training bond with Anakin or Ahsoka, so why could Qui-Gon?

IDK if there would be anything on the level of crying and hugging it out, but I think it would be very funny if, every time young Obi and Anakin are getting captured by pirates or something, Ben and Qui-Gon are just having a nice afternoon tea and checking their watches to see if their respective walking bundles of neuroses are done with their adventure yet.

The Council is So Done, because Qui-Gon continues to insist that they're Not That Bad, but every time anyone other than Qui-Gon brings up the friendship, Ben laughs and makes a comment about how absolutely gullible Master Jinn is.

Obi-Wan is skeptical of his own experiences with Anakin, at least, if only because he's skeptical about Anakin's everything.

"I don't know if Vader is telling me the truth. I don't know if he's telling himself the truth. I don't think he's a great source of information even when he thinks he's being honest."

Anakin could tell Obi-Wan the full and complete truth, and Obi-Wan would worriedly put a hand to his forehead and start doing tests for hallucinations and paranoid delusions. In his defense, this is a very reasonable assumption to make with an individual like Anakin. It's just also not accurate, this time. I don’t know if Anakin hallucinates in canon without a weird inciting incident like Force Nonsense or getting drugged by the enemy, but paranoid delusion is pretty much all of RotS.

"I’m your time-traveling padawan who’s pretending to be a Sith to catch some other Sith who’re going to start a galactic civil war and those Mandalorians you like are from a clone army based on a template of Jango Fett made to serve the Jedi (because that’s totally something he’d sign up for), and one of the Sith is your grandmaster but he doesn’t seem to have fallen yet, it’s probably fine," is hard to believe.

Honestly, even if he seemed stable before saying that, which he doesn’t, it’s all real far fetched. There's a lot going on and Obi-Wan wouldn't even begin to believe it without evidence.

I've had it in my head that he and Bant and Quinlan have been gossiping about the mess for months if not years about these idiots, and at one point it became common knowledge that Ben was a Kenobi, and Bant convinced them (since the two were among the most likely in the entire Order to encounter the Fake Sith) to get a DNA sample, probably hair or blood since that's easiest so they can figure out HOW these two are related, if they are, and then there's a whole big thing.

Bant: No, no, this must be contaminated, it's coming up as Obi-Wan! Are you sure you didn't accidentally grab some of your own hairs? I know it's a little long for most of your hair, but the braid-- Quinlan: Wait, they keep claiming stuff about cloning, right? Maybe someone's a clone? Check for artificial telomeres! Bant: ...okay, so, there aren't any artificial telomeres, but the ones from apparently-Ben are... a lot shorter... um... I don't know what to do with this. It's like I have two samples from the same person, twenty years apart. Quinlan: Obi-Wan, what's that face? Why are you-- Obi-Wan: Vader told me he was a time-traveler. I thought it was the fever talking, but...

That’s how he finds out that Ben is future-him before finding out about how he’s not evil!

"Master Jinn... I think... I think the Sith controlling the Outer Rim is me from the future." "Oh, you finally figured it out?" "I AM HAVING A CRISIS HERE."

Obi-Wan, after a few hours of dazed realization, runs screaming to Quinlan and Bant like 'GUYS GUYS THIS EXPLAINS WHY VADER KEPT SAYING IT WAS WEIRD AND THAT I LOOK LIKE HIS MASTER AND THAT IT WOULD BE LIKE DATING HIS DAD.'

You know, the important stuff.

I think Qui-Gon tells him that Ben isn't evil because, like, That Sure Is A Crisis Obi-Wan's Having. He could hold off for shits and giggles, sure, but Obi-Wan’s on the edge of something Really Concerning, mentally. Best help calm him down on at least one or two things.

Obi-Wan’s maybe still a little skeptical until he confronts them over it. Because their Sith act was real good and also like. Maybe Qui-Gon just wants to believe the best of his Padawan, y’know?

Quinlan runs into Ben before Obi-Wan does, after this whole mess, and gets to observe as money changes hands and people act like sore winners about bets made for When Does Obi-Wan Figure It Out.

Anakin was saying 'soon' because he really didn't think the fever-fueled rant would be discounted as easily as it was.

Cody was of the opinion that it would take at least a few more years since they're actually pretty damn good at this whole schtick.

Quinlan: Wow, he's... going to be really disappointed that you have such a low opinion of his intelligence. Cody, gesturing at Ben: Experience. Darth Ben: ಠ_ಠ

Cody just rattles off some of the Extremely Stupid Shit that Ben's done in their time working together.

Rex cheerily offers up "You didn't even realize General Skywalker was married, sir! And they weren't subtle!" "I knew they were together, I just didn--" "Everyone knew they were together, sir. Everyone."

(Rex had the lowest opinion of their deductive capabilities. He claims it would have taken until Baby Ahsoka showed up at the Jedi Temple.)

-Once Obi-Wan accepts that they're decent people after all- Obi-Wan: Wow, Anakin, you're real good at acting unhinged! Anakin: Haha. Yeah. Thanks?

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darcyfangirlsfrequently · 2 years

Text

Two Can Play at this Game

@snailsandpuppy-dogtails @dungeons-are-too-cold @penelopeminded this one is for you my homies

Summary: At a family dinner, Penelope is asked if she's seeing anyone. She says she is, and she starts going on this loving rant about him. Little does everyone else know, he's sitting right beside her, and Luke is having a hard time not blowing their cover.

Words: 1304

Rated: T for language and implied sexual content

Can also be read here on Ao3

After two weeks of practically back to back cases, the team decided that it was time for a family dinner. When Penelope left they had decided to make family dinners something they did as often as they could, their way of staying together when they were apart.

“So, Penelope,” Rossi said. “It’s been so long since we’ve actually gotten to talk to you. What’s going on in your life? How’s work? Are you seeing anyone?”

“Work is great,” she replied. And then, before she could talk herself out of it, she said, “And yes, I actually have been seeing someone for a few months now.”

Luke, who was sitting right next to her, choked on his drink. Fortunately, he wasn’t the only one, so it didn’t look suspicious.

“For months?” JJ repeated. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Sorry, JJ,” Reid said. “You kept Will a secret for how long?”

“Point taken.”

“So what’s his name?” Tara asked.

“No.”

“No? That’s an interesting name,” Emily joked.

“Shut up. I mean, no, I’m not telling you his name. I don’t want you guys to track him down to the ends of the earth before we’ve decided if we want you guys to meet him.” Plus, she wanted to drive Luke crazy, but she couldn’t very well tell them that, now could she?

“Quite understandable,” Rossi told her. She knew he would understand, considering he had kept Krystall a secret from them almost until he proposed.

“Well can you at least tell us about him?” Matt asked. “No name, no identifying information, just general stuff? You can’t say, oh yeah I’m dating someone and then give us nothing!”

She considered this for a moment. “Alright, sure. Let me just think over what I’m going to say so I don’t accidentally give some identifying information to you pesky profilers.”

Luke had no idea how he was going to survive what was to come.

“Well, I mean first of all, he’s gorgeous, like, absolutely the most beautiful man I’ve ever met in my entire life.”

“Don’t let Morgan hear you say that,” Luke quipped in an attempt to seem neutral.

“Oh please, he knows where he stands.”

There was a hidden message in there just for him, and he had to fight back his smile.

“Anyways,” she continued. “He’s really good with animals, he loves Sergio, they’re cuddle buddies.”

“I like this new man of yours already,” Emily said, taking a sip of her wine.

Well that’s a relief, Luke thought.

“And he’s so kind. Just… the sweetest, very romantic. He took me to a restaurant that had slow dancing for our first date.”

Luke had to take a sip of his drink to hide his smile of pride.

A soft smile spread on Penelope’s face. “He’s just… so completely great.”

“Oh my god,” JJ said. “You’re in love with him.”

“What?” Penelope squeaked. “In love? Why would you say that?”

Luke couldn’t help himself. “That, Penelope, is called a non-denial denial.”

If looks could kill, he’d be dead. “Watch yourself, Newbie.”

“Can you even call me that anymore? We haven’t worked together in months.” I mean and we’ve been dating since then and you’ve just kind of admitted you’re in love with me, but I’m not going to say that right now.

“JJ’s right, though,” Reid said. “When you were talking about him your pupils dilated and you got this smile on your face. You’re in love with him.”

Penelope’s blush was fierce. That was absolutely not how she planned on telling Luke she loved him for the first time. “Fine, yes, I’m in love with him, next question?”

“Have you told him yet?” JJ asked.

“No. I mean, it’s still kind of new, and I don’t know if he feels the same way… I don’t want to scare him off, you know?”

That broke Luke’s heart a bit, both the fact that she thought he’d leave her for telling him she loved him and that she had no idea how completely in love with her he was.

“Have you kissed him?” Emily asked in an attempt to make the topic lighter again.

“Yes.”

“Was it good?”

“The best.”

Luke had to take multiple deep breaths to keep himself from turning around and making out with her in front of the entire team.

Tara got a cheeky grin on her face. “Have you slept with him yet?”

Luke wanted to die, but fortunately, Rossi came to the rescue. “Ah ah ah, that is a conversation for girls’ night, not my dinner table.”

Tara cackled, and Luke and Penelope were doing their absolute best to not look at each other.

“Well,” Emily said. “Anyone else have a secret relationship they want to tell us about?”

Well, two can play at this game. “Yeah, actually.”

Everyone stared at Luke. “Wait, seriously?”

“Yeah. I’ve been seeing her for a few months now, and I haven’t said anything because no one in this group can keep their mouths shut, goddamn.”

"If you're talking about me, Luke Alvez, that's very rude," Penelope told him.

Actually, you're the one person I'm not talking about. "No, no, I'm not talking about everyone. I didn't want them to try to profile or weasel it out of me because once I start talking about her, I can't stop and I know I'd let it slip."

"Well then tell us about her," Reid said. "Since you can't stop."

"Gladly. She's the most amazing and kind-hearted person I have ever met in my entire life. She is Jesus Christ you are miles and miles out of my league, how the fuck did I end up with you, gorgeous, inside and out. She loves Roxy, and I think Roxy likes her more than me. When she smiles she gets this sparkle in her eyes that doesn't go away for hours and it's my favorite thing in the world. And she's funny, always making me laugh, and like, ridiculously smart."

"What the hell is she doing with you, then?" Tara teased.

"I have no idea, but I'm never letting her go. I am so fucking in love with her it's not even funny. Like, completely gone."

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Penelope trying not to react. "And she loves you?" It was like an echo of one of their first conversations. He was talking about Roxy, she thought he was talking about his girlfriend. This time, however, there was a double meaning. The rest of the team heard and she loves you? A teasing question, typical of their usual banter. He heard and she loves you. A declaration. A promise.

"Yeah, she does."

"Tell her to call me when she comes to her senses."

He laughed. "Yeah, I will. You'd love her, I think. She's always giving me crap. Sometimes I think she's only dating me for Roxy and my culinary skills."

Matt scoffed at that. "What culinary skills?"

"I make a mean lasagna."

"It's true, he does," Penelope agreed. "Vegetarian, too."

Everyone, including Luke, turned to stare at her with wide eyes. While their expressions were varying levels of shock, his was sheer amusement. Had they really just done that whole song and dance for her to go and say that?

She looked back at them, blinking in confusion. "What?"

JJ smiled a bit, trying to hold in her laughter. "When did he make you vegetarian lasagna?"

Penelope's eyes went wide as she realized what she said, and wider still at the (correct) implications. "Oh. Um. I." She turned to Luke. "I can't explain my way out of this, can I?"

He smiled affectionately at her and took her hand in this. "No, Love, I don't think you can."

She blushed at the nickname and turned back towards the group. "So, his name is Luke…"

#Garvez #Garvez Fanfiction #Luke ALvez #Penelope Garcia #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds fanfiction

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frogs-are-pretty · 3 years

Text

Demon Brother headcanons for trying to get their attention

You're trying to ask them on a date but they're ignoring you, then you figure out the best way to get their attention

Includes demon brothers, lord diavolo, barbatos, simeon, and solomon

No Luke cause that's your brother, tf??

Lucifer

He was outside of RAD talking to Lord Diavolo about something

You honestly didn't know what they were talking about but hoped it would end soon

Barbatos knew you were there but also knew where this was going

Lord Diavolo knew you were there too but thought it best not to say something since it was Lucifer you wanted

You were starting to get aggravated

Then you had an idea

You went and held his gloved hand

He was taken aback by the sudden weight on his hand

He turned and saw you and your hands intertwined with his

He would've been happier for the affection if it wasn't in the middle of his conversation with Lord Diavolo

He asked what were you doing with an intrigued yet confused tone

"Well I was trying to get your attention but you wouldn't pay attention to me. Anyway, there's a new place that opened up that sells different varieties of princess' poison apples. I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go with me."

"Why you didn't ask Beel to go? He likes princess' poison apples."

Yes Lucifer liked them more than Beel does, but he didn't see why you had to interrupt the conversation to ask him

You ad to repeat the part where you wanted to go with him, only him

That's when he asked if you were asking him on a date

Once he figured that out he agreed and told you that your going as soon as be finishes talking to Lord Diavolo

Diavolo let him go since he knew how long you've been waiting to ask him

You two walked and he did not let go of your hand at all

Mammon

He was trying to sell something to a demon

Or was he trying to get them involved in a new scheme?

You didn't know and couldn't care less

He kept talking while you tried to get his attention and you were getting fed up

Then you realized what you could do

There's two ways to do this

Route A- hug him from the front with your arms around his shoulders

He'll be flustered and all you have to do is let go but keep your arms draped over his shoulders and he's a cherry red tomato

Route B- hug his side and snuggle ino him

He'll still be flustered but just look up and he'll almost lose the ability to speak cause of how cute you look at his side

He'll ask what your doing in either case cause your getting in the way of money

"You weren't paying attention to me and I wanted to ask if you will to go to the human world with me. There's this new place I wanna go to and Lucifer said I could bring someone if I wanted and I kinda wanted to bring you."

"Of course you'd want to take the great Mammon!"

He didn't get that it was a date

You had to be more specific on why you wanted to go with him until he realized it was a date

It made him happy that his human wanted to go on a date with him

The demon was quickly forgotten about when he realized this

You two went to the house of lamentation with his arm around your waist

Leviathan

He's talking to someone about some game

Possibly an online mutual or someone with an interest in it

Either way you we're being ignored

You knew his rants can go on for hours

You were seriously having thoughts of kicking him, then a better idea came

While his head was still enough, you kissed his cheek

He stopped dead in his tracks and looked over at you

He flushed red and asked why you did that

Part of his redness was because this happened in an anime he saw once

But it was mostly because you kissed a yucky otaku

"Lucifer switched cooking shifts with me and I wanted to know if you wanted to make some of that food we saw in the anime we watched the other day. We're gonna need to shop for ingredients too."

Of course he agreed to make some anime food with you, but he was taken aback that you wanted to make it with him

He didn't know it was a date and you could tell by how calm he was compared to when you kissed him

You put emphasis on the fact you wanted to make it with him

That's when he realized it was supposed to be a cooking date

Leviathan.exe has stopped working

He lost the ability to speak but you knew he wanted to

You grabbed his hand while looking on your D.D.D for the ingredients

Once he calmed he built up the nerve to put his arm around your shoulder

He was over the moon when you leaned into him

Satan

He was talking to someone about some book

All you needed was 3 minutes of his attention and he couldn't spare that

He was getting into the conversation and so was the other demon

You were getting annoyed and wanted to punch one of them

But a thought overpowered that one

Right when he was still enough you grabbed his hand

He immediately stopped and looked over at you

He'll be greatful for the gesture and considered rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb but didn't

"What was that for?"

"I wanted to ask if you will go to this new bookstore that opened up. There's also a cat cafe near it too."

You lost him at bookstore

He was dragging you by the hand to go there

You had to physically stop him so you could tell him it was a date

That made him even happier to go

You both walked there hand in hand

Asmodeus

He was telling Solomon about something

You didn't know cause you wanted to punch both of them

The conversation felt like it qould never end

You were considering actually punching them but then something better came to mind

You hugged Asmo from the front with your arms around his shoulders

He stops before giggling a bit and hugging you back

"Awww, what is this for?"

"I wanted to ask you if you would go to this store with me that just opened up."

He agreed and asked Solomon to come too

That's when you had to say that you wanted to go with just and only him

The dots connected immediately

He kissed your nose agreed

He held you with trying to speed up the conversation with Solomon so you two could go

You didn't care now cause you got what you had to say out

You were also happy that you were so close to Asmo right now and he was stroking your back

When their conversation finished, he walked with you there with his arm around your waist

Beel

He was talking his fangol coach

You didn't know what about exactly and you couldn't care less

All you wanted was to talk to Beel and apparently that was asking for too much

You were about to give up when you had an idea

You grabbed his arm, pulled him down and placed a kiss on his temple

He looked over at you curiously

"Mc, are you ok? What was the kiss for?"

Don't get him wrong, he loved the kiss. He just wonders if there was a reason

"There's a new restaurant that opened up and I wanted to go with you. And maybe also go to a movie."

His mouth was already salivating at the thought

He agreed but really wanted to finish talking to his coach first

His coach let him go cause Beel's been a better player since you arrived

Beel almost dragged you, but stopped when you called his name

You had to elaborate more on why you wanted to go with him

When he realized it was a date he was even more existing to go

You walked there holding onto his arm and he loved how small you looked next to him

Belphegor

He was talking to Beel and he didn't notice you cause he was sleepy

He was awake enough to hold a conversation with his brother but not enough to notice the obvious next to him

You were mad with him and wanted to stab him awake

You decided against it

Instead you held his hand

It was warm and soft so you could've fallen asleep to just at the touch

The sudden heaviness made him finally look at you

You figured he was awake enough tobhear what you needed to say

"Do you want to go to this stuffed animal store later today with me? I want to get you something from there, my treat."

The fact you added my treat made him curious

"Why did you say my treat? Usually people only say that if..... Mc, are you asking me on a date?"

Your silence answered everything for him

He pulled you close to him and buried his head in the crook of your neck

"Ok, but let me nap right here real quick."

You and Beel laughed a bit

You allowed him to use you as a pillow to sleep and talked to Beel

When he woke up you two went to the stuffed animal store

He had his arm around your shoulder cause you were so comfy earlier, why would he let go?

Lord Diavolo

He was talking to Barbatos about some royal thing or something

You knew you couldn't always have his attention but just this once for 2 minutes you wanted it

You were growing impatient

So you decided to hold onto his arm

He felt the weight and looked over at you

The way you were holding his arm had him worry a bit

"Mc, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to know if you wanted to go to a restaurant with me. Maybe not today, but someday soon."

He immediately asked if it was a date

When you confirmed he was so happy

He put a hand over one of yours

He tried to quickly finish his talk with Barbatos

When he did he asked him to make the reservations at the best restaurant he knew

He was excited to go on one with you

When you did go with him, he had you hold onto his arm again

He loved how your fragile human body looked against his

How you weren't scared in the slightest either, even in a world of demons

It was everything to him

Barbatos

He was talking to Diavolo about butler things or whatever

He knew you were there but couldn't talk

He also had a vague idea on what you were going to do

Seeing multiple different timelines mad eit hard to know exactly what was going to happen

The conversation with Diavolo was making you irritated

You decided the best way to get the butler's attention

You put a hand on one cheek and tried to pull him towards you for a kiss on the cheek

Then he turned his head so you ended up actually kissing him

He looked at Diavolo

"If you'll excuse me, my Lord." He turned to you "Is there something you need? Or did you already get what you need?"

"I wanted to ask if you'd go to the movies with me one day. There's a movie playing but it was released a while ago so the theater should be empty."

"Sounds like a date."

Diavolo told him to go and decided himself that what they were talking about could wait

Barbatos followed the orders and took you to the theater

He walked you there with his hand on your back

He did put his hand on your waist cause he knew you'd prefer that instead, and he'd do anything to make you happy

Simeon

He was talking to Luke about the Celestial Realm

Or was he saying how angels aren't so drastically different from demons?

It didn't matter because the angel was ignoring you

All you knew is that Luke was too busy being in his "the devildom is evil and so are the brothers" mood to tell Simeon you were there

You wanted pull his hair out

But you thought of something better, better for both of you

When he was sighing from Luke's mood, you hugged his side

He put a hand on your back when he saw it was you

Luke was surprised himself to see you there

"Mc! What are you doing here? Did those demons scare you out?" Luke asked, still in his mood

"What are you doing here? Did you need something? Are you ok?" Simeon asked, now stroking your back

Damn, this angel knows how to make you feel loved

"I'm ok Simeon. I just wanted to know if you'd go to a restaurant with me. But not like, as friends."

He got the message with the last part and agreed

He was greatful, knowing that you liked him back

And enough that you asked him on a date before he asked you

Luke was excited that you two were going on a date

You spent the next thirty minutes talking to Luke and Simeon, with Simeon's hand still on your back

Solomon

He was talking Asmo

Asmo was being Asmo so Solomom couldn't really pay attention to you

You wanted to hit Asmo at the moment

Then you wanted to do something else, so you did

You reached down and held his hand

He looked at you and held back a slight laugh

"Is there something you need?"

"I wanted if you'd go to the human world with me to go to a new store. Ya know, just us."

Immediately realized it was a date and said a flirty remark back

He was happy that you had feelings for him, the only other human in this world of demons

Asmo was upset that you didn't ask him for a date

You simply reached over a gave him a head pat and he liked the touch

You both went to Lucifer and he changed you using his magic into your human world clothes (the magic just immediately changes clothes, no nudity)

He walked with you hand in hand, planning on taking you to dinner there too

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barbarianprncess · 3 years

Text

did you mean it?

read on ao3.

It’s a total of 3 significant events that led to this, her forehead knocked against his, breaths heavy and mingled, eyes wide and hearts bleeding.

The first event isn’t really an event at all. It’s a prologue, necessary context to truly understand the monumentalism of this moment. It’s the memory of her eyes, piercing and reproachful, being the first thing that he saw after losing his mother. It’s shared trauma and oreos while they’re young and naive. It’s truces and training and growing up too soon together. It’s stargazing and stupid jokes saving eachother in every possible way. It's the culmination of the years Percy spent growing, learning, and being with Annabeth, and the unknown and therefore repressed feelings that came with it. Feelings are like the sea in that way, they don’t take well to being restrained. Percy has found that you cannot box in oceans or sentiments, they always find a way to spill over and out, with no regard for the destruction left in its wake.

The second event is Dionysus deciding on a whim that the inhabitants of his camp are ‘uncultured pests’ and taking it upon himself to set up a field trip for campers to the Ancient Greek Cultural Center in New York. (Percy thinks it’s really just to distract kids that were still shaken up about the battle at camp and the losses it caused. But, Dionysus would never say so. He’s far too proud to admit to caring for the children he’s been assigned to look after.) Argus loaded all the kids he could fit into the strawberry vans, as Chiron listed all the reasons this was a terrible idea. As it turns out, his worries were in vain as miraculously, no monsters attacked, and no mortal asked too many questions. No, instead, the only hitch in his plan was the glaring inaccuracies of the Center sending Dionysus into a fit of rage. He ranted for so long, their 2 hour long field trip ended up lasting until the place closed.

Event the third is the ridiculously long line leading to the mens room at the rundown gas station they’ve stopped at, causing Percy to traipse into the woods, deep enough to know that no one other than the squirrels were watching, and pee there. Unbeknownst to him, Annabeth had decided to take a quick walk in the forest as well, (in the opposite direction of his peeing endeavor) with the purpose of clearing her head. Both returned to the parking lot after 10 minutes, with no truck in sight. The gas station lights are turned off on the inside and the door sign has switched decidedly to closed. They look at each other in disbelief.

“Percy?”

“Yeah?”

“Uh...did they…”

“They didn’t. They wouldn’t.”

“I think they would.”

“They would never-”

“I have pretty solid evidence to the contrary.” Annabeth deadpans, casually letting her hair loose and hopping on top of the miniature gas machine for motorcycles.

“But, how did-”

“No Argus.” Which means, no all-seeing eyes to double check the headcount. Percy begins to pace.

“Okay, but-”

“Two trucks.” Both of which are probably assuming Percy and Annabeth are on the other.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, gods.”

“Leave them out of this.”

“Those fuckers.”

“Which ones?” She asks. He looks up and she’s fighting a smile. He pointedly doesn’t notice the way her mouth curls up, or the way her hair falls around her shoulders and down her back, or how pretty she looks lit up by the neon red lights of the gas stations prices, which apparently doesn’t turn off when they close.

“Do you know something I don’t?”

“I know lots of things you don’t.”

“Ha-ha. I mean about how to get out of here.”

“Ohhhhh, let me think.” She wrinkles her nose in faux concentration, tilting her chin up towards the sky. Percy is too annoyed to think it’s adorable. “Nope, not a clue.”

“Your phone?”

“Left it on the truck.”

“Iris message?”

“Percy, it’s dark as shit.” The laughter she’s been holding in comes pouring out. Nevermind that he feels his chest sigh in relief at hearing it for the first time since their quest, this is serious.

“You’re laughing.”

“Just a little.”

“You’re telling me, you don’t have a brilliant plan to get us on a truck.”

“Yes.”

“So, we’re stuck here.”

“Yes.”

“And you’re laughing?”

“You’re just really funny when you’re stressed.” She giggles. He can’t remember the last time she giggled. He missed it. He hates her.

“Oh my gods.”

“Okay, okay, look, I’m sorry. We’re halfway to camp right?” He nods. “I’m sure they’ll figure out we’re missing before they get all the way back to camp, but let's say, worst case scenario, they don’t-”

“Not helping-”

“And they make it the rest of the way back to camp. It took us four hours to get to the center, which means camp is two hours away, so if they make it the two hours back to camp before they realize we’re missing, and they drive back up-”

“C’mon ‘Beth, you know I suck at math.”

“We’re stuck here for five hours at most.”

“Five hours?”

“And that's if no passing cars let us use their phones to hurry the process up.”

“Five hours.”

She’s laughing again. “Seriously, what is so funny?”

“It’s just-” Her cheeks are red and she’s very poorly attempting to suppress her smile. “You’ve been calm in so many life or death situations, and being stuck at a gas station is what finally breaks through.”

“It’s nighttime.” She stares at him for a moment and then she’s laughing again, full bodied real laughter, and he's laughing too.

And it’s as if this gas station became their own personal Ogygia, an oasis, a resting place for them to be stupid kids again. And they don’t talk about the battle, or Rachel, or the volcano, or any of the million things set on tearing them apart. They talked about his mom getting serious about his new boyfriend, about Tyson’s underwater adventures and Grover’s searching shenanigans.

They smack talk with no real heat about who the better fighter is (Oh please, Seaweed Brain, I've been training since before you could tie your own shoes.), and argue about which ancient hero had the greatest journey (Hercules, are you kidding? Did you even read the myth?). They break into the gas station for snacks (What the fuck, Annabeth, where’d you learn to pick a lock? No, I wouldn’t prefer you break the glass, you psycho. Oh my gods, can you really break the glass?), and dissolve into giggles as they try to fit five drachma into the cash register.

They end up back outside sitting on the gas machines facing one another from three feet away.

“Your mom called me the other day.”

Percy, who’d been lazily squinting up at the murky sky, searching for any sign of stars, whipped his head to look at her. “What?”

“She called me on the phone. We talked for a bit. She said she wanted to make sure I was alright.”

“That sounds like something she would do.” He sighs and hops down from the machine, turning away from her, hoping to hide his blush from the dim light. “She cornered me on one of my off weekends, asked what was going on with us.”

“Oh.” He hears the shifting of fabric and assumes she followed him in sliding off the gas machine.

“Yeah.” It’s silent for a long time before she responds.

“What did you say?” She asks, her voice smaller than it was moments ago. He hears her scratching at the flat metal top of the machine. “When she asked, what did you say?”

He runs his finger through his hair, and one gets caught in a particularly large snarl. “Doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me.” She whispers and gods he’s terrified but he really doesn’t have a choice when her voice wavers like that. Her words shake and every ounce of his being tells him to do whatever it takes to soothe it.

“I said we were fighting. That there wasn’t one sole reason for it, just a bunch of little reasons. I told her that I scared you when I….went away for two weeks last summer. And that you didn’t like bringing Rachel on your quest. I told her that we….. disagree about how to best handle Luke. That I probably wanted to protect you more than I wanted to listen to you.” She laughs softly and he blames what he says next on her laugh. It is the catalyst for everything that follows.

“I told her that we’d be okay. Because no matter what happens I’m always gonna love you.”

He hears her breath catch. He doesn’t have to look back to know she’s turned to face him fully. “Did you mean it?” She calls. He doesn’t answer. The words haven’t caught in his throat, they’ve spontaneously combusted in his vocal chords and he doesn’t think he’ll ever speak again.

The sound of gravel crunching gets closer until suddenly she's beside him, and he didn’t tell his torso to twist toward her, he thinks she might just be his center of gravity.

“Did you mean it?”

She’s looking up at him, and her hair smells like lemons, and her cheeks are pink, and her eyelashes go on for miles, and her sunspots are better than stars. And it’s as if she pulls the words right out of him, he’s hypnotized by everything about her.

“Of course I meant it.”

She exhales and closes her eyes and while he mourns the loss of the sight, his body moves on it’s own accord again and he’s edging closer and closer and she opens her eyes and here they are.

Their noses brush, and this time he closes his eyes, and their noses brush just so, and…

Whoa.

He was wrong, it wasn't just those three significant events that to her forehead knocked against his, breaths heavy and mingled, eyes wide and hearts positively bleeding. It’s clear he’s been waiting his entire life for this moment at this shitty gas station.

Waiting for this. Waiting for her.

They kiss for a moment or an eternity, and they fit. His hands are on her hips and hers clutch at his shirt before sliding up to his throat, and it’s like his soul is whispering, oh there you are.

And then she’s pulling back, so she has just enough space to shake her head without disconnecting from his forehead.

She's breathless when she whispers, “This is a bad idea.”

His hands trail up and down her forearm of their own accord, and when he whispers back he’s breathless too. “Yeah, really bad idea.”

Her hands slide up from his chest to his shoulders, and then she’s kissing him again, with purpose, and he’s kissing back like his life depends on it because he thinks it might, thinks if he lets go of her he’d die on the spot.

It seems his theory might get tested when she pulls back again just far enough to whisper against his lips, “Is it always like that?”

He kisses her again, once, twice, because he can’t help it and whispers back, “I don’t know, you were my first kiss.”

He’d released any serious hold he had on her the moment she hesitated, but then she’s rocking back up to meet him halfway and his entire body thinks thank the gods. He actually sighs his relief into her mouth, as his hands desperately reach for her face, some fingers tangling in her hair, and their lips are magnets, opposites that don’t have a choice but to pull together. Despite how much he wants to keep doing this forever, he has to tell her.

“I don’t wanna lose you, again.” He means not ever, but he figures she understands the severity in his voice. She’s running her hand through his hair, and his slide up and down her back, and she knocks her nose against his as she answers, “I know, me either. I’m confused, this is confusing me.” And she tilts her chin just so, like she did a million years ago, and this time he kisses her.

They kiss for an infinity, he gets to taste her laughter when she giggles at the absurdness of it all, and it’s better than ambrosia. He kisses her until he doesn’t know anything else, until his entire universe is Annabeth Chase, with her cheeks and her curls and her lips. She is everything.

And then headlights penetrate their universe, voices bring an end to their infinity, and Chiron is speaking but it’s nothing, it’s all white noise because she’s no longer in his arms, and his center of gravity is being ripped away and he hears someone ask, “What’d you guys do?”

He’s still looking at her face when she answers, “You know, tried not to strangle each other mostly.”

But, she looks back before she turns all the way around and her gaze is charged and her lips quirk with the secret they share.

He is so screwed.

#so i wrote this in like two hours and its probably a mess but. here you go ig.#aoah ch 3 will be out soon but in the meantime #heres this lol #percabeth #percabeth fic #my fic #my writing #if you comment or rb i will die for you

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