#harlow speaks 🦒

[thatgayb1tchwhosimps4her]

Naked In New Orleans

Jennifer Jareau x Lamontagne!Reader

---

TW's/Tropes for this series (chronologically-ish): Strangers/Co-Workers to Lovers, FWB-ish (Chap 1 to 4), smut/suggestive content, internalised homophobia, typical wlw angst, Willi@m Lam0ntagne, normal CM canon violence, a few case details in most chapters, Will lowkey being jealous/possessive af (OOC ish, but oh well), character death 🤫🤫🤫, pregnancy stuff that I've looked up, and childbirth.

I think that's it; lmk as and when, if there's anything else :)

---

Pre-Cursor Chapter (Y/N Lamontagne Backstory) Chapter 1 (2x18): The Introduction Part 1 Chapter 2 (2x18): The Introduction Part 2 Chapter 3 (2x20): ? Chapter 4 (2x23 - 3x4): ? Chapter 5 (3x9): ? Chapter 6 (3x17): ? Chapter 7 (3x20): ? Chapter 8 (4x1 + 2): ? Chapter 9 (4x5): ? Chapter 10 (4x7): ?

~~~

Also, the canon CM timeline in this fic is a bit off/smushed together, but that's only for the cases + stuff; so to break it up/make it make sense, the first 5 episodes are across 3 months + the last 5 are across 8, but fingers crossed it will make sense when all 10 chapters are out :)

-Harlow

[thatgayb1tchwhosimps4her]

Rossi literally gave her away to Hotch, I can't-

EMILY & HOTCH DANCING in 7.24 RUN

[thatgayb1tchwhosimps4her]

Naked In New Orleans

Chapter 1 - The Introduction.

Word Count: 2067.

TW: Normal CM case details, Jemily mention (not confirmed, and not really a TW, but yk), Suggestive content in the last quarter, but not full smut!! Let me know if there's more.

Summary: Reader and Will meet JJ and the rest of the team; flirting and responsible intoxication ensues.

~~~

The team were looking over the details of the case on the jet; 3 bodies pre-Katrina in 18 months, a 4th being found a few days ago. The victimology was all over the place, "Besides from being male, and walking the French Quartet late at night" is what Morgan had said, while everyone was bouncing theories off each other.

After landing in New Orleans, and a brief car ride, JJ, Gideon and Morgan landed at the crime scene.

"You must be BAU. Detective William Lamontagne Junior." Will greeted, holding his hand out for Jennifer to shake.

"Jennifer Jareau, we spoke on the phone." The blonde responded, in her usual friendly tone, as he looked her over.

"Well, okay then. Pictured you different." He stated, unprompted.

"Will, don't go distracting the pretty agent from doing her job." A woman said, walking away from her conversation with a few cops from New Orleans PD, reaching her own hand out to JJ.

"Detective Y/N Lamontagne, you actually spoke to me." She, Y/N, added, wordlessly pulling her hand from the liaison's, before moving on to shake Gideon's and Morgan's.

"Don't worry, everyone gets that confused at one time or another, even though I'm probably the better looking one." The female detective smirked, her accent noticeably more watered down than Will's.

"Now, now, Phoenix, we both know that's not true." He teased, lightly kicking his shoe against the cane held in her left hand, throwing her off-balance for a moment.

JJ noticed a flash of anger and irritation on Y/N's face, before she swiftly composed herself, rolling her shoulders back and subtly adjusted her posture, deciding to change the subject. "Please ignore my idiot big brother, he never knows when to shut the hell up; been like that since we were kids. How can we help?"

"I understand you received a letter." Gideon interjected, deciding it was best to get started with the job at hand.

"Yeah. Before they were lost in Katrina, daddy received two others. This one came addressed to him yesterday, and they passed it on to me." Will started, handing the new letter that was in an evidence bag over to Gideon.

"Are you sure it's from the same killer?" Jennifer asked, looking between the pair, before Gideon answered. "It's a detailed account of what he did to the bodies."

Once they'd finished up at the crime scene, and gone to William Lamontagne Senior's house, to see the word 'Jones' carved into the wall, they headed back to PD headquarters, receiving a verbal autopsy report from Prentiss and Reid, along with their discovery of the UnSub potentially being a surgeon, or having gone to med-school, as well as and the pair's and Hotch's analysis on the letter; a modern day version of Jack the Ripper, loose in New Orleans.

---

The next day, Gideon, Morgan, Prentiss, Reid, and Will were called to another crime scene, to talk to two friends of the new victim; the UnSub had struck again. Meanwhile, back at the station, Hotch was combing through the evidence they had to double and triple check they hadn't missed anything, which gave a chance for JJ and Y/N to talk, in between making calls and giving orders.

"Hey-" Y/N started, coming up behind JJ, handing her a cup of coffee, before sitting down next to her.

"Hi- Thank you." The blonde responded, finishing up a few notes, and taking a sip.

"Forgive me for being self-conscious, but I want you to know that I was just messing around yesterday with the whole "pretty agent" comment. Thinking about it now, it probably sounded a little bit undermining, and that wasn't my intention, in case we got off on the wrong foot." She added, running her pointer finger around the rim of her mug, as an anxious tick.

"Oh, it's okay- Don't even worry about it; I've had worse." The liaison disclosed, brushing it off.

"That's.... sad, I guess- Not that you're sad, or anything. I mean, I don't even know you, so I can't accurately dictate that, but just that shit like that sucks." The detective rambled, barely making eye contact with her even once.

"It's okay, Y/N. I get what you mean, I promise." JJ reassured, placing her left hand over the woman opposite her's free hand.

"Okay, thank you. I just didn't want you to think I was a tool like a fair few of the guys in this department." Y/N disclosed, which was met with a smile, and a small chuckle, from the blonde, before their conversation was cut off by Hotch walking over to them. "They're back; we're ready to give the profile."

---

After they'd delivered the profile, and a brief phone call from the BAU team's technical analyst, Penelope Garcia, Prentiss and Morgan (and assumedly Reid) left for Texas to check out an unsolved case in Galveston (where a lot of refugees from Katrina relocated) from four months ago, of which was missing a kidney like one of Jack the Ripper's victims; leaving you, Will, and the rest of the BAU team to go over the details of the case, to try and come up with a list of suspects.

"Fancy a change of scenery, blondie? Apparently the rest of your team is as stubborn and kinda boring as they look; no offence." You offered, sitting against the edge of the desk in your office, that you insisted JJ use for her liaison duties, since it was quieter than trying to work smack-bang in the middle of New Orleans PD's bustling office.

"None taken?" Jennifer replied, her attention drawn toward you as you gazed down at her. "But sure, why not? It couldn't hurt, I guess. Where do you suggest that we go?"

"I have an idea."

A bar on the French Quarter was not what she had in mind.

"Neat whiskey, and whatever the lady wants, please Leon." Y/N said to the bartender, Leon, as the pair took a seat on a couple stools in front of the bar.

"Just a soda, thanks." JJ added, with a smile, as she looked over at the woman next to her. "You come here a lot?"

"Not really, no, but it was my dad's favourite; so outside of school, and sports, me and Will basically grew up here." She replied, resting her can between her legs. "Hell, Leon here could probably tell you what my favourite animal was from I was a kid- Thank you." The detective added, accepting both drinks from the bartender, and handing the soda to the other girl.

"It's not right." Y/N started after finishing her second whiskey, while JJ was still nursing her soda. "The French Quarter is one of the only parts of the city that dodged Katrina, and now there's an assumed dead serial killer on the loose."

"It's a small area," The blonde reassured. "We're narrowing down the profile; we'll find him."

"I just hate that this guy has a leg up on us, you know?" She said, raking a hand through her hair, before dropping it on the bar.

"I promise, as soon as my team knows anything, we'll hear about it, okay?" The liaison replied, resting her hand over the other woman's.

"You're not married." Y/N stated after a little while, her eyes flicking from the blonde's hands, which were now occupied with a pad of paper and a pen, to her face; only know noticing how gorgeous the colour of her eyes were.

"I'm sorry?" Jennifer responded, her eyebrows knitting together slightly, as she looked up from her case notes.

"There's no tan-line on your ring finger. I know that DC typically rains a lot, so you might not have one even if you were, but you seem like the kind of person who'd wear her wedding ring; if not on your hand, then you'd at least have it on a necklace, or something, but I see no chain under that sweater-shirt of yours." The detective explained, leaving the liaison speechless for a few moments.

"And what does my relationship status have to do with this case how?" The other girl replied, subtly trying to keep the topic of conversation professional.

"Truthfully? Nothing, I'm just testing the waters; seeing if it's okay for me to flirt with you, or if I got the wrong impression, and you're actually with that pretty brunette lady." Y/N shrugged, turning fully to look at her.

"What, Emily? No, we're not together; I'm not with anyone, fyi." JJ disclosed, trying to ignore the former comment, looking back down at her notes.

"Excuse me, compliments from the woman in the blue top." One of the servers said, passing a glass over to the detective.

"Wow, that was bold." The blonde stated, exasperatedly, as the woman next to her pushed the glass away.

"She probably thought we were just working; you jealous?" Y/N teased, tucked a hand under her ear.

"No-! We are working. I'm just... surprised, that's all." The liaison stammered out, to back herself up.

"You're a lousy liar, as well, y'know that?" The other woman smirked, basking in the girl's brief bashfulness, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "You wanna get out of here?"

---

JJ doesn't know what made her agree, but shortly after raiding Y/N's liquor cabinet for a bottle of red, and drinking about half of it in her kitchen, the pair drunkenly stumbled into her bedroom, giggling as they both crashed onto her bed.

"You're so fuckin' pretty, Jen." Y/N muttered, lying on top of the other girl, and pressing kisses along her neck.

"Y/N...." JJ sighs out softly, letting her head fall back, as she tangled both her hands in the detectives hair.

"Do you have any, idea, how insane you, have driven me, the last couple days?" The woman asked, punctuating her words with soft kisses to the blonde's plush, pink lips.

"Do you have any idea how unprofessional this is considered?" JJ retorted, lazily curling a strand of hair around her finger.

"Do you want to stop?" Y/N pondered, pulling back and straddling the blonde's lap.

"No- No. I'm just messing around." The liaison replied, trailing a hand over the other woman's white button-up.

"Okay." The detective stated, moving to kiss her again, over and over while snaking your hands under her shirt, pulling it up as JJ got to putting her fingers to work by unbuttoning your shirt.

Once you'd both sheded your shirts, and discarded them on the floor, both pairs of your hands moved to grasp any inch of flesh they could get to; hers on your hips, and yours on her bra-covered tits.

"You are literally an angel." You uttered, as JJ unclasped her bra a few moments later, letting her breasts spill out, before you looked her over fully.

"Oh, shut up-" She mumbled, her cheeks dusted a just-about noticeable shade of pink, as she buried her hands back in your hair, and initiated the kiss again.

Moaning softly against her lips, you both continued like this for a good 10 minutes (your hands occasionally venturing lower), even after JJ switching her position, to straddle your lap instead.

After a solid 5 minutes of her being on top of you, and almost getting to 3rd base, the liaison's phone rang from her jeans (which were now on the floor), causing you both to groan.

"Just ignore it-" You murmured, wanting this moment to last forever.

"Hang on-" The girl stated, pressing a final kiss to your lips, before rolling off your lap, and sitting up on her knees, bending over the edge of the bed slightly, as she grabbed her phone from her back pocket, and answered it.

"Jareau." JJ picked up the phone, holding it to her ear, listening intently to who was on the other end.

"Yeah, I'm at her apartment now. Okay, thanks, bye" The blonde spoke after a few minutes.

"What's going on?" Y/N questioned, picking JJ's bra and shirt up from the floor, and handing them to her, suspecting they may need to head back to the office.

"That was Morgan and Prentiss," JJ said, accepting her clothes from the women. "The UnSub we're looking for is a woman." Both of you suddenly became hyperaware of all of the women that were at the bar you went earlier; including the one who you got given a drink by.

~~~

Holy shit, I did it!! I am exhausted, and my mouth is really dry (I hunkered down to do the last 1k words in three hours, which is really good for me). Hope you guys like this, and see you in chapter 3.

-Harlow

[thatgayb1tchwhosimps4her]

Request: Hey, just wanted to let you know that I loved this fic! I would love read more Sam x Reader written by you, specially one where we could see a more vulnerable side of Sam and her being taking care of! Thank you for all the content you give us 😊

Of course I can do that, I too love the vulnerable side of Sam that I picture in my head. She's so cute and loveable and just adorable in general. She's definitely protective af as per usual like "Touch her and your dead", but at the same time is like begging you to hold her hand, kiss her, hug her etc basically all of the time.

@carolcunha7 This one is for you.

This is smuttier then I intended it to be, but let me know if you'd prefer a less smuttier version and I'll see what I can do :)

*****

Make You Feel Better

Sam Carpenter x Female Reader

Word Count: 1524.

*****

You had been on the floor of yours and Sam's bedroom, in the apartment the two of you shared with Sam's little sister, Tara, and their roommate, Quinn, painting for the past hour and a half, waiting for Sam to come back from her appointment with her counsellor.

You had nearly finished painting you were making for Sam, almost ready for it to be signed, when you heard the front door open, and then close again.

"Sam! Is that you baby?" You shouted, slightly on edge in case you had to get up from the crossed leg position you were in on the hardwood floor of the room, and hide the painting from her and not smudge the wet paint.

You heard somebody grunting and mumbling, along with things being thrown around. Assuming it was Quinn and one of her 'gentlemen friends'; as you and Tara had so graciously named them, you decided to grab your earplugs from your bedside table, hoping it would drown out the gross sounds they would most likely be making.

Just as you were about to put them on, somebody burst into the room. Quickly turning around, you saw Sam wearing her headphones, pacing up and down the floor at the end of your double bed, not noticing you were on the floor yet. You took this opportunity to slid the painting under the bed, luckily there wasn't anything under there yet.

"You're gonna wear the wood out if you keep doing that." You said, making her break the pattern of pacing and almost jump out of her skin.

"Fucking hell," Sam stated, pulling the headphone off her ears and letting them rest on her shoulders, "You can't scare people like that, Jesus. I thought you were still at Econ with Tara and Ethan" She added, wiping her face.

"Sorry, decided to come home early." You said, laughing it off, before getting up and walking over to and standing in front of her, "Wait, Sam have you been crying?" You questioned, seriously, placing a hand on her cheek and tilting your head to get a better angle at looking at her bloodshot eyes.

"It's nothing." She replied, avoiding making eye contact with you, fiddling with the seam of her jumper.

"Sam, don't lie to me baby." You mused, grasping her face gently with both of your hands making her look at you. "What happened?" You asked her, looking into her glossy, brown eyes, searching for any trace of doubt or hurt.

"I just- I," She stuttered, trying to think of an excuse, but seeing the sincere look on your face, made her realise she couldn't lie to you, "I was with the counsellor and we were talking about Woodsboro and about everything that happened in the house and about Richie, and I told him what happened, how I- how I killed him, how if I didn't I would've died, you would've died, how we all would've. And he got all bitchy about me being just like my dad and how I'm a sorry excuse for a human, just being a massive asshole. So I cursed him out, shouted at him, called him every name under the sun, and left." She explained.

You didn't know what to say, there's no way somebody could professionally talk to someone like that.

"I mean he's right though," Sam stated, breaking away from the soft hold you had on her, taking off her jumper and discarding it on the floor before turning back to you, catching a glimpse of her chest were her top had ridden up, in the mirror in your room walking over to it, "I mean look, I'm a monster." She added, keeping her t shirt held up half way, tracing over the scars where she had been stabbed just over a year ago, tearing up at the sight of how horrific she looked.

Picturing her blood dripping down her stomach and hands, with her dark grey tank top stained with Richie's blood, looking as fresh as it did the day she saw it in an evidence bag when she climbed into the ambulance with you and Tara.

"No, no Sam," You started, walking up behind her and resting your head on her shoulder, wrapping your hands around her waist, rubbing light circles into her hips. "You are many things, but you are not a monster. The scars you have, they aren't meant to be hidden, they're meant to be shown, shown to all the fuckers out there that think horrible things about you, not knowing a single thing you've been through, that you're a fighter, that you survived. Not many people can do that, not many people can say they went through all of that shit and came out the other side." You added, kissing the crook of her neck.

Noticing her gaze was still focused on the scar peaking out of the bottom of her shirt, and tears starting to pour down her cheeks, you moved around to stand in front of her.

"Hey, look at me baby," You stated, grasping the hand she had holding up her shirt in your right hand gently, and wiping the tears away with your left. "What can I do?" You asked, making sure she's looking at you.

"I want them to go away." Sam choked, indicating to her scars.

"I know you do, I know you do." You repeated, hugging her tightly, before sitting her down on the end of your bed "Can you take some deep breaths for me, darling?"

"Yeah, I can try." Sam replied, breathing in and out slowly, trying to calm herself down to stop herself from crying more.

"I can't make them go away, but I can make you feel better about them." You said, as Sam gave you a questioning look, before she could get any words out to ask you what you meant, you kissed her deeply.

"Do you trust me?" You asked as she broke from the kiss. She nodded.

"Then trust me and relax." You stated, pushing her back gently.

As Sam felt her back hit the mattress, causing her to yelp slightly.

"You okay?" You asked, towering over her stomach.

"Yeah just caught me by surprise, that's all." She replied.

"Okay, am I good to keep going?" You questioned.

"Yeah, it's fine. Do what you were doing, I don't mind." Sam spoke.

You nodded in acknowledgement, before moving up to her face and beginning to plant kisses on it, on her jaw and down to her neck, sucking light hickeys on it, before your mouth travelled down to the strap of her tank top, moving it to the side, starting to kiss along her shoulders, left to right, right to left, and back again.

After repeating this several times, your hand moved to lift her tank top up to where her bra ended, before your mouth moved to her sternum, kissing up and down it, causing her to moan your name softly and shiver slightly.

Moving yourself down to the end of the bed, kneeling in front of Sam's legs and resting your hands on her hips, made her tense up, suddenly getting insecure again unsure of what to do.

Sensing this, you moved your hands to her stomach, starting to gently trace your hands over it, to somehow communicate with her and reassure her that it was okay. You continued this for a little, until she relaxed a lot more.

This was when you continued the kissing trail down her body, and started kissing over her stomach, taking extra care and kissing them longer when your lips lingered over her scar.

This made both her hands go to the back of your head, entangling her fingers in your hair, tugging on it firmly when she felt good, whimpering occasionally, in between moaning your name softly.

"That's all you needed baby? Just needed me to make you feel better?" You asked, suggestively.

"That's all I needed- all I needed- to feel better." Sam replied, panting lightly, while scratching the top of your back lightly.

"You're so fucking perfect, Sammy." You stated, teasingly tracing your hands over her thighs, causing her to buck her hips up and moan loudly.

"Not now baby," You said, resting your hands firmly on her thighs, "Maybe later, but for now we are watching movies and cuddling." You said, standing up and planting a kiss on her forehead.

"Okay," Sam sighed, grumbling a little, "As long as we've got popcorn, cause if we don't I'm not watching." She added.

"Who do you think I am? What psycho doesn't eat popcorn when they watch movies?" You questioned, walking toward the kitchen to get snacks before turning around when you heard Sam giggling, to see her with her hands covering her face.

"I'm glad you're my happy girl again Sam." You stated, looking at her with heart eyes.

"Me too," Sam replied, "But that doesn't mean I don't still need to be made to feel better late." The brunette added, seriously, sitting up and pointing at you.

"I'm counting on it." You answered, walking out the room to get snacks.

*****

Wow okay, disclaimer my first time writing anything remotely smutty so don't judge me if it's absolutely shit, but yeah I'm gonna go bleach my eyes (for legal reasons, that's a joke).

Hope you enjoyed reading, I guess, and yeah see you in the next one.

-Harlow

[thatgayb1tchwhosimps4her]

One of my favourite things about Criminal Minds is the fact that home-girl Emily Prentiss went from 'Yes sir, thank you sir' to 'I'm giving him what he wants; mommy'

[thatgayb1tchwhosimps4her]

She's just a tiny guy 🧡

Vanisms™

[thatgayb1tchwhosimps4her]

The Coven + Thalia's Relationship w/ Them

Not really sure how I was supposed to set this out either, but I like it.

Also, Rio's low-key made me cry, so I might not touch on this AU for a little while (I definitely will, but in case I don't, you have been warned).

~~~

Agatha Harkness:

When they were younger, Thalia drifted more toward Rio, and Nicholas to Agatha, but once he died, and Rio had to take him to the afterlife, they immediately kind of latched onto the other, to like keep each other afloat/keep both Rio's and Nicky's memory alive (no matter how much it hurts), and grieve together.

In a way, once Agatha and Thalia like 'lost their person', they became a lot more understanding of each other, in a way (I can't really think of a way to explain this properly).

Thalia definitely had nightmares about that day, for a long time, and after a good couple weeks of Agatha going back and forth between both their rooms, she let Thalia sleep in her bed (which was also probably a comfort for her, too).

---

Pretty typical mother-daughter relationship, honestly, up until Agatha finds out about the Darkhold, and essentially becomes a loyal sidekick, on her quest to power/a way to get their old life back, instead of the little girl, whoever secretly looked up to Agatha, her entire life.

Which brings us to the WandaVision and Agatha All Along chapter(s), which will be linked on the navigation page (here) when they're done, sooo :)

~~~

Rio Vidal/Death:

Thalia is 100% a mamí's girl, and I will die on this hill.

Literally, Thalia's been waving the "Team Rio" flag, since the day she was born; sporting the same doe-eyes her mother fell in love with, back in Salem.

When she was younger, 9 times out of 10, she would only ever settle for Rio, which confused both mother's for a long time; because how could anyone, especially something as innocent as a baby, find comfort in Death?

---

This pretty much carried on through the first like half of her childhood.

i.e. Thalia's first word being 'mamí', instead of 'mama' like most other babies (including Nicholas).

Thalia giggling at the voices Rio does, while reading bedtime stories to her and Nicky (and low-key Agatha, as well).

Rio teaching/coaching Thalia (and Nicky) on how to use her/their powers (since Agatha would end up accidently absorbing them, and cause Rio physically cannot be that badly injured) etc.

---

Then Nicky dies, and it's very much an incredibly emotional and traumatic time for all of them.

Thalia instinctually goes to Rio, and because she's still young, doesn't understand why "He won't wake up", which completely tore her heart in two (no matter how black it is).

Rio then takes Thalia up to her room, to try and calm her down, while Agatha has time with Nicky, before they have to go.

She reads Thalia her favourite story 3 times over, because Thalia's cannot get enough (and also cause she has a sinking feeling she should make the most of it/I'm just making shit up about clairvoyance at this point).

---

In the end, they settle on snuggling in Thalia's kid-bed, while Rio sings the lullaby version of "The Ballad of the Witches' Road" (which is a memory they both deeply treasure), over and over, until Thalia falls asleep, and Rio very hesitantly has to pull herself away from the girl, with one final kiss to Thalia's temple (just to the left of the scar over the crook of her eyebrow, from one of their many training sessions, when Thalia wacked herself with a tree-branch).

Which again, brings up to the Agatha All Along chapters, that are linked in the bit above :)

~~~

Lilia Calderu:

Lilia's relationship with Thalia would very much be like "the grandmother she (Thalia) never had" (we hate Evanora Harkness, with burning passion, in this house).

When they first meet (in episode 2), Lilia can instantly sense the doubt (of if walking the Witches' Road will actually work), and guilt (that she's been carrying all these years, about not being able to bring back Nicky), radiating off the girl's body.

Very soon after she clocks it, is like- "Alright, that lonely little queer girl is mine; yes, she has two moms already, but I'm willing to back her up if she needs it" (she doesn't, but it's very much appreciated), you know what I mean?

But yeah, that very much radiates throughout the entire show (maybe aside from episode 5, cause there were definitely sides picked during that episode), until episode 7; RIP Queen.

~~~

Jennifer Kale:

Thalia's relationship with Jen is very much the same as Jen's and Agatha's, like they're not really sure if they can trust each other, but it's like an amicable, back-and-forth teasing, type of relationship.

Up until episode 6 (the version of it I'm writing/Thalia's trial), where the remaining members if the cover (lowkey including Agatha + Rio), see a more vulnerable, and kind of broken, side to Thalia (more on that to come).

Then after that, it's very much like "We both lowkey hate each other, but she (works both ways) is actually pretty cool, so we're gonna keep it mellow."

~~~

Alice Wu Gulliver (my girl <3):

Love of my life, Alice Wu Gulliver, was honestly such a breath of fresh-air for Thalia; like the older sister she never had.

'Protection witch' is the name, and protecting Thalia (and lowkey Agatha as well/RIP angel girl) is the game.

Thalia helped her (and Teen, but mostly Alice) pull Mrs Hart out of the mud at the beginning of episode 3, and basically from that point onwards, became best friends.

And then from that point on, Thalia's basically just jumping to Alice's defence a lot, after every little comment.

Especially the "Everything I touch turns to shit" (that part of the episode definitely didn't make me cry), and Thalia goes over to hug her, cause she knows what it's like to feel that way.

Almost always near each other, while walking the road + during trials, as like a "If anything happens to her (works both ways), I'll be the first one there, cause even though we've only known each other for a couple hours/days, she's still my bestie".

Bonus; Kojo is definitely Alice's best bud (it's literally fact that he's prone to face licking, when he can sense that people are upset or anxious), and was sat between her, and Thalia, during the last 10/15 minutes of episode 4, as well.

~~~

Teen/Billy Maximoff:

Eps 1-5 their relationship is very much a brother/sisterly bond.

Like yeah, they'll take the piss out of each other a little bit, but will still kill for each other, if someone even looks at the other (Billy or Thalia) the wrong way.

Then his true identity gets revealed (at the end of Agatha's trial/just before Thalia's trial), and gets a little rocky, but ultimately they still look out for each other (I'm just guessing, as the show's not 100% out yet, iykwim).

Like it's still very much a "I knew you/a version of you, a few years ago, and you reminded me of my brother, so we're chill, just as long as you don't try to (kind of) kill my mom again, otherwise I'll slit your throat, and you best believe I'm telling the truth, cause you know who my other mom is."

~~~

Mrs Hart/Sharon Davis:

~~~

Last, but not least; this legend.

Near enough the same thing as Thalia and Lilia's relationship, but more like soft; like instead of witchy banter (calling Lilia kooky, and shit), it's very much like typical grandmother/granddaughter bonding.

i.e. Thalia helping Alice and Teen pull her out of the mud at the beginning of episode 3, as previously mentioned.

Explaining what being a witch is (along with the rest of the group) in episode 3, and shit like that.

She didn't really have much screen-time for me to come up with much else, so RIP Mrs Hart :(

~~~

I'm actually obsessed right now. I haven't slept in the last 24(+1) hours, so if I'm still up, I might start planning out Thalia's trial + Backstory, since I've got some idea as to what it'll be, but it needs some tweaking.

-Harlow

[thatgayb1tchwhosimps4her]

my overwhelmed and overstimulated ass is definitely not like 2 seconds away from writing self-indulgent head-cannons on what the BAU team would be like with an autistic kid, mmhmmmm, no way.

[thatgayb1tchwhosimps4her]

something about being called 'darling girl' by Alex Blake...

[thatgayb1tchwhosimps4her]

in the words of that one T Swift audio;

screaming, crying, throwing up, pUnCh Me In ThE fAcE

[thatgayb1tchwhosimps4her]

Stoic, brunette guys, who're protective of the people they care about, have veiny hands, and (preferably) are muscly >>>>>

Femme, brunette women, who're badass, like literature/books, and (preferably) can speak more than one language >>>>>

[thatgayb1tchwhosimps4her]

Darkest Hour/Wake Thy Power ~ Ep 5

(Part of this AU)

~~~

Right, so back at it; chapter/episode 5.

The episode obviously opens on the coven asleep in the same place they were at the end of episode 4 (Thalia asleep between Jen and Lilia, with her head in Rio's lap).

And when Lilia's blabbing about the Salem Seven (obviously including throwing Agatha under the bus), which Rio jumps in during (to defend her wife), we see Thalia stood next to the green witch, as like her shadow, in a kind of 'scared little girl' mixed with 'moody teenager' way, if that makes sense.

She's then seen picking Kojo's leash up when Agatha comes running back in, with her swoopy-coat motions again.

When they're doing the broom spell thing, she does the ritual with Rio (after Alice hits the Salem Seven member attacking Teen), and hers has a side-car for Kojo (cause yk, it's magic, it doesn't need to make sense).

Then once they're all in the sky, Thalia's flying a little ways back from the front, between her moms, and (like everyone else) screams when they're forced back down (as well as when they kind of crash into a wall of bees, but because she's allergic to them, not cause she's scared).

While everyone's looking over their costumes/outfits for Agatha's trial and looking around the room, she's sat on the couch (between Rio and Lilia), trying to catch her breath, while calmly-ish searching through her bag (because yes, she still has it; again, magic) in case she needs her epi-pen.

She's honestly kind of fed-up with everyone at this point (overstimulation and crappy anxiety doing what they do best, icl).

So when Rio like quips at Agatha with "And who better to commune with the dead, than someone who's put so many in the grave?" Thalia kind of snaps back at her, looking between the two of them, with like a half-firm half-warning "Mamí."

As like a "Please don't play around right now, otherwise I will actually rip somebody's head off, including (potentially) my own", yk what I mean?? (I'm hoping ND people do).

Then while Teen's listing off the rules of using the Ouija board she's seen stood between Agatha and Rio, with Kojo sat at her feet.

She's then sat between Rio and Teen during the entirety of using the board, while Kojo's resting in Rio's lap, completely unbothered by everything that's going on.

Curses under her breath in Spanish, just before Rio says "She's just scared", cause she's actually at the end of her tether with all of this bullshit (especially coming from her mom).

When the board spells out 'Death', Thalia gets visibly like disheartened, yet again, because why the fuck can't she just get to be a normal kid/teenager for once, with a normal family??!

She's pretty much on the verge of tears at this point, then when all hell breaks loose, and most of the coven start ganging up on Agatha, her and Kojo just sit by the table they were previously using, essentially hiding behind/under it, silently willing the Road (and everything in general) to just stop.

Then when Agatha gets possessed by her mom, and everyone's screaming, she's just firmly sat there, with her hands clasped over her ears, and eyes squeezed shut, because why does all of this fucking shit keep happening?!!

Once everything kind of cools down, and Ev@n0ra makes herself known, she moves out from behind the table, eyes still glassy, and stands next to Rio, her hand flexing against Kojo's leash.

And regardless of how Thalia herself is feeling, she'll always push those feelings down to look out for her mom, cause that's what she's always done, and is firmly with Rio when it's suggested they leave Agatha with her mom.

AND THEN THIS BITCH GROWLS??!!!! So Thalia like half-steps-in-front of Rio, essentially daring her grandmother (despite being a ghost) to do her worst, which reminds her of Agatha.

Then right on cue, Agatha comes down the stairs to confront her.

And while that witch is ripping into Agatha, Thalia is seen looking down at the floor, trying to keep her emotions firmly stuffed down, because that's what Harkness's do.

When Jen (and some of the others??) tries to leave, and Agatha reaches out for them to take her with them, she goes to step forward, and grab it, before being pulled back by Rio.

Which is then when Alice blasts Agatha with her powers (to stop Ev@n0ra from inhabiting her body, yet again), and Thalia can't do anything except watch, as someone who she'd class as one of her best friends, just slips away, and Agatha starts being seen as a monster again.

During this commotion, the floodgates literally like burst open, and she's hysterical, trying to breakthrough to her mom by yelling at her to stop, but being held back by Rio, who's trying to like silently console her, while still trying to keep things under wraps.

Then once the trial ends, and all their watches beep, she has her face buried in Rio's neck, because everything's just piling itself on top of her, and it won't let up.

And they both watch as Agatha leaves the trial, which as much as all three of them secretly want this to be over, so they can be a family for real, there's nothing any of them can do about it.

Witch (funny pun, come on) brings us to the end of Thalia's appearance in this episode, yay :) :(

~~~

Hey, so the re-write of Teen's reveal will be linked here, as well as alternate episode 5 ending (ep ending for this AU/here), both of which might take a while, so please be patient with me.

And chapter/episode 6 is gonna give you guys more information about Thalia (and yes, it definitely gets worse from here), so yeah.

I hope you enjoyed reading :)

Also happy birthday to me 😁😁😁 (the 14th).

-Harlow

Bonus: Thalia's outfit for this episode.

^ Grinch T-shit :) ^

[thatgayb1tchwhosimps4her]

Guys, is this a safe space for me to come out, now that pride month's over?

reblog if you’re a Hotchniss shipper ❤️

[thatgayb1tchwhosimps4her]

Yo, so this is what I was yapping about in this post here; enjoy reading, I guess (not really sure how I was supposed to plot it out, ykwim??).

~~~

Basic Stuff;

Name: Thalia Leola Vidal. 'Thalia' meaning to blossom/flourish (also as in Thalia Grace). 'Leola' meaning lioness; loyal (as said here) + has Latin(a) origins. (And according to this, apparently 'Vidal' means devil, sooooo).

Alias: Jinx (definitely not stolen off Jinx from Arcane).

Age(s I'd write her as): 0-18/118 (going by Hotel Transylvania logic).

Gender/Pronouns/Sexuality: Fluid, usually She/Her, Bisexual.

Powers/Skills: Chaos magic, clairvoyance, knife throwing (curtesy of Rio), magic absorption (??), martial arts/self-defence, + teleportation.

S/O: Atlas Parker/Spider-Boy (OC). More on him here.

Appearance: Brown hair + brown eyes. Face Claim: Jules Lee (as Amanda Fix).

Her aesthetic:

---

Parents: Agatha Harkness (mama) and Rio Vidal/Lady Death (mamí). Their ('s and Thalia's) aesthetic:

(Pic 1): Rio + Thalia. (Pic 2): Agatha, Nicky + Rio. (Pic 3): Agatha + Thalia.

---

Sibling/Twin Brother: Nicholas Alejandro Harkness. His (and Thalia's) aesthetic:

Appearance: Brown hair, blue eyes.

(For all intents and purposes, he's gonna be a Harkness, cause I keep seeing him as the dude from 'Chilling Adventures of Sabrina').

---

Pet: Kojo the Golden Retriever. Thalia's guide dog for general + clairvoyance-related anxiety.

(Pic 1): Handsome Boy. (Pic 2): Big Stick. (Pic 3): Kojo as Dumbo, ft Nicky's slippers.

---

Friend group: America Chavez (Xochitl Gomez), Lyla Romanoff/Nova Widow (OC), Billy Maximoff/Wiccan (Joe Locke), Tommy Maximoff/Speed (Judah Lewis), Kamala Khan/Ms Marvel (Iman Vellani), Elijah 'Eli' Bradley/Patriot (Elijah Richardson), Peter Parker/Spider-Man (Tom Holland), Theodore 'Teddy' Altman/Hulking (Billy's bf) and Cassandra 'Cassie' Lang/Stature (Kathryn Newton).

~~~

I think that's it, I might add some more stuff to this later on, but it'll just be like my imagination going a bit wild, and yeah. Let me know if you have any questions/requests, and I'll do my best to answer them.

-Harlow

[thatgayb1tchwhosimps4her]

If I Can't Reach You/Let My Song Teach You ~ Ep 4

(Part of this AU)

~~~

Okay, so this episode obviously opens up on Mrs Hart/Sharon being dead, and Teen digging her a grave, which Thalia is also doing, before being joined by Alice, purposefully ignoring her mom's antics.

Then when everyone's having that big argument about who was at fault for Mrs Hart's death, she chimes in after Lilia with "Her hair didn't get put in the potion either", before finishing digging Mrs Hart's grave/burying her.

When they're doing the summoning spell, Thalia's stood between Alice and Agatha, then once Alice mentions the replacement Green Witch bringing Advil, produces a pack and a bottle of water from her bag for her (it's a magic bag 🤫🤫🤫).

Very suspicious looking, and kind of Spider-sense-y when Rio starts coming out of the ground, then when she's 'straightened-out' again, Thalia's shocked, but then gets like very smiley, cause that's her mamí, bro-

Huffs out slightly, and curses under her breath in Spanish, when Agatha storms off.

Then follows behind Kojo, after his leash gets pulled from her hand, and he goes over to Rio, then hugs her, once she stands up again from petting him.

Gets the smileys again, very soon after the first time, when she spots the like felt(??) spider Rio hides under her jacket (will be revealed later as to why).

All three actions earn confused looks, and raised eyebrows from the rest of the coven, all like "What the fuck??!"

Which (without prompting) Thalia replies to with "Esa es mi mamí, brujas." and a half-smile/half-smirk, before picking Kojo's leash back up, and following behind Rio.

Then she's very much just nodding along with all of her mamí's weirdness, and curiosity of the stuff on the road.

Bonus shit: when Lilia, Alice + Jen are having their conversation behind her/them, Jen chimes in with "We also know that she's Freak-Witch-Junior's other mom; that's definitely a con." after Lilia says "We know that Agatha hates her; I'd say that goes in the 'pro' column." instead of "I don't know how to feel, etc")

(A/N: wasn't sure how to write this, so we're skipping ahead 🙂)

Thalia goes off with Teen, looking around for clues, and stuff, then when Rio and Agatha are in the sound booth, she's seen sat on the couch with Kojo, in the bottom left-ish corner of the window.

Then when the rest of the coven hears what they're saying (after Agatha presses the intercom thing) the camera pans to Thalia when Rio says "and I get my bodies", who has like a defeated look on her face, as if the suspicions she'd had about Agatha's true intentions (as much as she didn't wanna believe them) had been fully confirmed.

Once the record starts playing backwards, she immediately gets up, and goes over to Rio, with Kojo (cause that's obviously her best bet).

When Lilia's shoulders start burning, she kind of shuffles behind the piano (like Rio does, except she does it first, cause Thalia's on her right), and Kojo like hides under it (and basically stays there).

Then (as previously mentioned here) when Alice goes on that whole rant about her life, and gets to the "Everything I touch turns to shit/that I couldn't save her" bit, walks out from behind the piano, and goes over and hugs her, before pulling away, so she can show the group the scars on her shoulders.

After Teen gets thrown through the sound booth window, she follows the coven inside, still firmly sticking by Rio's side (shut up, I'm obsessed with their relationship/dynamic), then follows back out with Alice and Teen.

Definitely picks up on the whole "to protect her daughter" thing, and the look Agatha and Rio share at that point (at that point in the episode, Thalia's stood behind the drumkit, essentially between the two of them).

Then Thalia follows behind Teen, and gets the base guitar from the stand next to the acoustic one, after Agatha turns to her, and asks "You still practice that Death music, right?" and Thalia tilts her head to the side with a smirk, and replies with "Obviously."

(Jen gets demoted to tambourine, sorry guys☹️).

Alice, Rio, and Agatha, are like moved over to the left slightly, so from a camera-frame POV, Thalia's stood between Agatha + Lilia.

The song starts, and she's playing the appropriate notes/chords (of which I don't know), and makes eye contact with Teen at the "the danger's great, the trial's wait, for those who seek the prize", and gives him kind of a confused look, like "Are you okay?/What are you looking at?"

As the song goes on, and Thalia matches Agatha and Lilia's notes again, and the "if I can't reach you, let my song teach you, all you need to keep our love alive"/"if I can't hold you, remember what I told you, it's the only way we survive, we survive".

And even has her own solo (from 2:55-3:20 of the song on music streaming apps) during this version of the ballad.

(A/N: again, wasn't sure how to write this bit, so ahead we go!!)

Thalia's then stood at the end of the tree trunk, between Rio and Alice, and is kind of frozen in place, since it's not her area of expertise, but also cause deja vu 😬.

She's then sat on the Road floor, by the campfire, between the log Rio's sat on, and the rock Alice is say against (this is literally the only consistent thing through the entire show).

With Kojo's head resting in her lap (this poor dog is going through it), and then taps Rio's knee, with a small smile on her face, as like a "Not the time", when she's like "You guys don't have extra nipples? I'm covered in nipples/You wanna see?"

Then when the episode pans back to the campfire, Thalia's sat closer to Rio, with her head resting against Rio's knee, laughing her head off, and Kojo's now sat with Alice (and Jen), with his head in her lap.

And while Rio's whole speech happens, she looks defeated again, and kind of disheartened, her head still against Rio's knee.

Once Agatha gets up, and Rio follows after her, the rest of the coven kinda looks over at her sympathetically, as Thalia moves to lean back against the log, tears seconds from falling.

Then as if on cue, Kojo moves from his spot with Alice, and goes back over to Thalia; cuddling up with her, instead, and gently licking her face/cheeks.

AND THAT IS IT!!!!

~~~

Bonus: Thalia's 70's outfit (she's literally Daisy Jones in another life).

^in black + gold to match her mom's, otherwise it looks too much like Jen's

~~~

Another one down (I LOVE THIS!!!!)

Ngl, this took me a while to get the motivation to do it, but this week's been pretty tough for me, mentally (I'm okay, dw), so that's why this took as long as it did, so I'm gonna (hopefully) have the next one and the additional chapter out really soon.

So yeah, see you soon xxx

-Harlow

[thatgayb1tchwhosimps4her]

where are my JackieShauna and Jemily girls at, cause hello?? are they not near enough the same?

Jackie and JJ both have heart necklaces with dark meanings behind it, were/are in a relationship with a himbo (I have a love/hate relationship w/ Jeff and Will, sorry) while having a complicated feelings for their 'best friend', and hallucinated them while dying.