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Zayn performing live on stage at The O2 Academy Leeds on November 23, 2024 in Leeds (📷 credit)

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What a long, exhausting day. I hope that everyone who is feeling like I do today is taking care of themselves.

I honestly do not understand why I still feel so sad and upset. I am normally so unbreakable and strong. But today was terrible. Work was a complete joke. I spent most of the day either numb and staring at my computer, or in the bathroom feeling sick to my stomach. But I know that it is nothing compared to what Liam's loved ones are feeling. I hope that each and every one of his friends and family know how loved they are and that they can spend as much time healing as they need. And Liam. My poor, sweet Liam, I hope you are at peace and feel happy and safe wherever you are. You are so very loved and I will miss you always. I will always do my best from now on to live my life in a way that would make you proud and make every moment count. To everyone out there who struggled through this day, I want you to know that I am here for you till the very end. You are loved. You are worth it. <3

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This is lovely and the roses were a wonderful way to honor Liam. I hope that you made it through the day without too much trouble and that you are taking care of yourself <3

It was a beautiful, bright and windy day. We got a lot of snow yesterday so it was my first time shoveling today for this winter.

Throughout the day Liam and his loved ones were in my mind. I said prayers for them to have strength to get through this devastating day. Now it's dark but the moon is bright. I can't help but think today's weather reflects who Liam was as a person, bright and beautiful. Now he's walking in the wind...

Yesterday I bought red roses to honor Liam's memory. I didn't know yet when the funeral was going to be, only that some day this week.

I'm out of words. Hugs to everyone 🫂❤️

Sleep well Liam.

I will love you forever 🌹

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Not entirely sure how I’m supposed to go to work today and act normal… as if poor Liam isn’t being laid to rest forever…

Today is going to be rough and I’m not ready.

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If anyone is in Utah and wants to go dance all their feelings away, I’ll be there too❤️❤️❤️

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I will look at the stars to find you Liam. I love you and miss you forever. x x

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I’ll be watching the This Is Us movie on my own in just a few minutes at my local movie theater. Wish me luck to get through this with minimal tears. ❤️

I just know I’m I’m going to lose it as soon as the movie starts….

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as far as we know, niall was the last of the boys to see liam alive and i can't... i can't imagine how he must be feeling right now. the thoughts running through his head. doubts, guilt, anger. there's an inherent responsibility that comes with being The Last to see someone alive. because everyone looks to you for the answers of what the person was like before they passed. if they seemed different, sounded different, etc. and niall wasn't the very last person to see liam alive. but he's still the one with answers to questions that so many people have and i just. i can't imagine how awful that must feel. i hope he's treating himself gently 💔

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this is the most heartbreaking thing i’ve seen all day

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day 1: liam and 1d boys

friend / frɛnd /

(n.)  a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

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comicrelief: We are deeply saddened by the loss of Liam Payne. As part of One Direction and individually, Liam generously gave his time to Comic Relief throughout the years. Our condolences go out to his family and loved ones.

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Harry Styles + Cocky/Smug Moments

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1D ♾️

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"Oh one day I'll be gone. The world'll keep on turning. I hope I leave this place. Better than I found it."

These lyrics from "Here Comes the Change" by Kesha have really been sticking in my mind the past few days. If there was anyone who was an embodiment of these words, it would be Liam.

He left such a profoundly lasting impression on the world and in our lives. From day 1 of him stepping out into the limelight, it was so obvious the care he had for all those around him. He was incredibly generous and kind to everyone, and yet so humble. Liam had no care for the recognition of his many good deeds. If anything, that makes him that much more wonderful in my eyes.

There are no words to describe the impact that he had on my life. But I could not imagine my teenage years and my 20's without knowing who he was.

I hope he knew how much of a positive difference he made in other people's lives. Whether it be his family, friends, and fans. And I know that I, for one, have been better off in life for Liam having been in this world. Thank you for having such a generous and kind heart.

I adore and miss you Liam. But wherever you are, I am sure you are lending a helping hand and a kind smile.

Rest in peace, dear boy.

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Louis keeping posting stories on instagram and liking instagram posts about Liam. He is grieving like all of us who are scrolling on every social media to read stories and to reminisce the old times. We are all the same in front of pain and this makes me feel less alone.

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How can I forget someone who gave me so much to remember?

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One week and four days in, and yet the right words still fail to come to mind. I have never been good with words, so no surprise there. Even back when I had my little one-direction blog on Tumblr all those years ago as a teenager, I hung in the background and rarely ventured into interacting with others, shy as I was.

But now I have found myself back here, shiny new blog and all, if only to find a space to unload this mass of emotions and jumbled thoughts. Funny how one devastating moment can send someone running back to a place that felt like home.

The moment I heard about Liam Payne's death was about as unremarkable as it could have been, and yet so entirely overwhelming. I am sure it will be clear in mind for a long time to come. Big girl me was stuck in a work meetings all day, so I was entirely clueless to what was going on in the world. So imagine my surprise when I get in the car after work and turn on the radio and they were uncharacteristically playing One Direction songs, when normally they would be playing popular NEW songs. I was little confused, but happy to hear some of my favorite songs.

And then as I was driving they mentioned honoring Liam Payne from One Direction. And then they mentioned his death. I have never gotten such a terrible feeling of whiplash and feeling so numb at the same time. Driving back home in rush hour traffic and hearing this news? Not fantastic.

It is so strange to think that I've been going about my life for more than a decade not realizing how huge a part that Liam and the other boys had in shaping my late high school and early college years. And yet here I am, all grown up, with a big girl job, still jamming to all of their songs, both group and individual, as I go about my life. And I know that will never change.

Liam will always have a place on my playlists, and in my heart.

It feels like the end of an era. Like something so wonderful has come to an end. But I know that I and so many others will make sure that Liam will not fade from memory. You don't just forget someone who was such a hug part of your formative years.

Nothing that I can say will do this wonderful and kind man's life justice. So I will leave it at this. Liam, you deserved so much better in life and in death. I hope that wherever you are, that you are at peace and know that you are so very loved by all those you left behind.

If anyone needs a safe space to vent their feelings or talk about anything and everything, I am here.