#“greatest wizard who ever lived”

[lilacthebooklover]

i put on "maya and the three" for the 10-year-old girl i babysit, and according to her, i am no longer a girl. i'm not a boy either. i am only a principito.

[eerivee]

Presenting Zephyrini, an air genasi wizard and a talented weaver. They used to be known as one of of their homeland's greatest mages and innovative minds... Up until one of their spells went horribly wrong, leaving behind a black hole that is now eating up all the magical energy around it. Problem? Their homeland happens to be a place that consists of thousands of floating isles and as the magic slowly disappears, the isles are going to start falling down. Not a weather report anyone living under those isles wants to hear.

They're also Aella's parent and she and the party are currently working on a plan to stop this disaster from happening. Zephyrini has been assumed dead ever since the day of the incident so relying on the person who actually knows anything about the original spell is not on the table. The party will have their work cut out for them!

[worshippin]

so much of mismag2 has been 'evan kelmp finds out how Extra he is about his friends but also how he is actually very specifically insane about sam especially' (and about sam slowly realizing she actually is the greatest wizard who's ever lived and evan was never just saying that). it is at the same time so goddamn hilarious but also so freaking adorable and beautiful, ugh

[deconstructthesoup]

Thinking about the parallels between Fabian and Ayda.

Thinking about a boy who grew up in the shadow of his father, who made it out of the Leviathan slums and became a great and renowned adventurer. Thinking about a boy whose father loved him with all his heart, and was always there for him, but who had expectations that he could never truly reach. Thinking about a boy who seemingly had everything, fully believed he had everything, until the full weight of his father's legacy fell down onto his shoulders and nearly broke him.

Thinking about a girl who also grew up in the shadow of her father, perhaps the greatest wizard who'd ever lived, and yet chose time and time again to live in the most dangerous city in the world. Thinking about a girl who was reborn again and again, all the while believing her father did not care for her, when in reality he was doing the best he could, and was honoring a promise long forgotten. Thinking about a girl who believed she had no choice but to uphold the legacy that she'd constructed for herself.

Both Fabian and Ayda have a father who is one of the craziest, wildest, and most powerful adventurers out there. Both Fabian and Ayda have a legacy that is nigh-on impossible to uphold, set either by their parents or by themselves. And both Fabian and Ayda are pirates, and yet not pirates.

Why aren't they canonically friends I need them to be canonically friends Ayda's paramour is now Fabian's stepsister you don't know how much I---

[acewitch-writes]

I love Canon Remus and all of his flaws. Enough of this "Casanova of Gryffindor Tower" BS, Remus is the cowardly lion of Gryffindor tower. He values bravery because it is something that he lacks and yet still strives to be. He has an ingrained sense of shame and self-loathing and an inferiority complex that stems from society's contempt and marginalization towards Lycanthropy, a condition he was cursed with from a very young age. He wasn't a leader, he was a follower. A blind follower who believed to his core that he was unworthy of love and respect because of what he was.

Which opens the door to what I believe to be Remus' greatest flaw: His unwavering, unquestioning devotion to Albus Dumbledore.

I think Remus saw Dumbledore as the perfect encapsulation of Good. He was everything that Remus desperately wanted to be, everything that society was determined to believe a werewolf could never be. And maybe, if Remus could earn (and cling to) Dumbledore's favor and make him proud, he would prove to the world and himself that he is Good, too, in spite of his lifelong curse.

Remus felt that he owed Dumbledore a debt he could never hope to repay for allowing this chronically ill little boy into his school when no werewolf before him had ever been given such an opportunity. So many of Remus' choices in canon stem directly from this imagined debt that he had dedicated his life to paying. Hell, he didn't even hold a grudge against Snape for OUTING HIM to the entire wizarding world simply because Dumbledore trusted him.

Remus trusted Dumbledore wholeheartedly. And Dumbledore personally saw to Harry's placement with the Dursleys. Why should Remus have considered, for even a moment, that Harry wasn't safe? Certainly far safer than he would have been with a monster in close proximity, as Remus believed himself to be. In his mind, staying away from Harry was what was best for Harry. Until Dumbledore needed a favor, that is.

It's reductive to suggest that Remus failed Harry (and by extension, James) for putting his trust in Dumbledore to do right by Harry. James and Sirius trusted Dumbledore, too. They all did. Stripping away all of the nuance and blaming the abuse Harry suffered on Remus is simply unfair. NO ONE helped Harry, not even those who were fully equipped to do so, and Remus was the farthest thing from being equipped to take that on, what with being an impoverished werewolf living in a society that reviles his very existence. The only person who could have saved Harry from the abuse was the very man that placed him in that home, the very man that Remus revered with blind conviction.

[whereserpentswalk]

There's a chess board out there that's eternally bound to a fae lord. The pieces all look like strange insects, and nobody can tell what the two colors are, no matter how much they look at them, they just know that they're different.

When you move a piece the fae will make his own move, and you'll see him on the other side of the board. Nobody who hasn't played knows what he looks like. And once you start playing, you're not allowed to stand up.

Nobody can see the fae but they can hear him, everyone even a bit close to the board can hear him speak. He promises so many things if you win. "I can make you ruler of the world." "I can make you the richest person to ever live." "I can make anyone on earth fall in love with you." "All you have to do is play and win." "It would all be so easy if you just chose to play."

But you should never choose to play him. When you lose, he will eat your existence, not your current existence, but your existence in the world. Your impact of the world will be erased, and nobody will ever remember you. Everyone who ever knew you, loved you, hated you, will have never met you at all.

It's only a few scholars and sorcerers have figured out what happens to the losers of the game, by finding the holes in people's lives. It's unknown if the people who lose the game die or disappear when they're forgotten, or if they just walk away, anonyms, with no lives to go back to. Perhaps some throw the game on purpose, just to have their name disappear.

Many have played the game and lost, those who thought they would be sure to win. Chess masters. Great wizards and occultists. Military tacticians. People blessed by gods, and those with demons bound to their flesh. Nobody knows their names, only what the fae lord brags about them, only their lives as he saw them.

The fae is not the greatest at chess. He is good, but not the greatest. But he is clever with words, and just as he knows what to tell people to make them play, he knows what to tell people to make them lose, to trick them, to throw them off, to make them cheat, or to make them throw the game. His kind is not permitted to lie, but he does not require lies.

He speaks all languages. He has manipulated people in the tongues of countless nations. He has spoken the secret languages of ancient cults to their followers and spoken to dragons in their tongue of inaudibly low song. When they called on a deaf man to play against him, he signed to them what he needed to sign. And when the great universities of the world brought out a computer to play him, a computer that could defeat any human play, he was even able to psyche that out, and tricked it into leaving it's king open at the wrong time.

They say there is only one person who the fae lord was afraid to play. It was a young woman who had no name, no family, and no official identification. She had been tracking it down for years, since the first record of her existence she had been searching for the chess board, and she seemed to already know a lot about it. He has begged everyone he could, from scholars, to wanderers, to other fae, to not let her near him. If she does play him, and if she does win, who knows what will happen, we do not know if anyone has won before, and if anyone did, we do not know why.

[honey-milk-depresso]

The Magic Student in the Magicless College (Prologue 2)

This is the changing up of plot, with some parallels to the normal TWST story line! This is the LONG AWAITED pt. 2 prologue. I'll try to keep writing this cuz I got back to getting interested in writing for this again so yeah- <3

☘︎☘︎***TAG IS LABELLED AS TWST AU MAGICLESS NRC

☘︎Note: I will use Yuu instead of Y/N and/or MC, cussing a little-

☘︎LINKS:

Prologue 1, 3, 4, 5

Headcanons / Small thoughts: 1, 2

☘︎☘︎

Ace and Deuce, still hugging each other, immediately let go and backed away against the same pillar, yelling in shock at the same time.

"W-What the hell was all that for...?!" Ace shrieked slightly, heart still hammering in his chest as he stared in disbelief at this... robed wizard? Magician? Witch maybe??

Yuu huffed, placing a hand on their hip as they encased the sleeping Grim in a materialized, transparent box made of magical energy. "That'll do the trick..." they said to themselves before looking at the two boys.

"Don't you guys know how to encase stuff with your Magic Pens? Or are you first years?" they asked, raising an eyebrow with slight annoyance.

"We're first years, but no one on earth can pull off something like that...!" Deuce said exasperatedly, finally recovering from the adrenaline rush. "Just who the hell are you...?!"

Yuu stood back up, dusting the dust of their shoulders as they smirked. "I'm Yuu, one of the greatest wizards of Twisted Wonderland, young prodigy of the Great Sevens," they declared boldly.

Instead of getting a grand and excited of a reaction, the two boys stared at them cluelessly, blinking with confusion.

"Twisted Wonderland? You mean like... Alice in Wonderland?"

"Man! What the hell are you saying, crazy person?!"

Yuu frowned at Ace's accusation. "Crazy? Everyone uses magic! And why do you look like you've never heard of Twisted Wonderland? It's our home!"

Ace scoffed. "This is planet Earth, dumbass. Maybe you came from wherever 'Twisted Wonderland' is but this place isn't! This is Night Raven College!"

The two started bickering, unaware of the students now slowly getting out of their hiding spots and a very tall man with golden eyes and swirly black hair and a pale complexion started to walk over. Deuce widened his eyes, tugging at Ace's sleeve as he tried to get both of their attention.

"Guys! Headmaster!"

The two turn around, and only Ace's eyes widened in shock. Headmaster Crowley, a man in a suit and tie, a golden ring on his finger and polished shoes came over, looming over the three students.

"This... short-lived catastrophe was done by who, exactly?" he asked calmly.

Ace and Deuce immediately pointed at Yuu, who looked unamused. Yuu huffed.

"It was taken care of. I've captured the little rascal anyways," Yuu said, gesturing to Grim who still sleeping in his magical confines. The headmaster only looked between Yuu and Grim with a sharp curiosity, his eyes narrowing on the silvery gemstone encrusted on their pen. He sighed, tapping his foot on the floor once.

"Regardless, the school is quite in shambles, at least, the hall that is. And apparently a bathroom mirror on the same floor," Crowley explained. Yuu blinked, before scratching their head awkwardly with slight guilt. "O-Oh..."

"Hmm, well, I guess government funding would need to be drawn. The only reason why this place is still standing is because this school is quite ancient," he hummed, "unless... can your... special abilities fix this school?" Crowley entailed carefully.

Yuu blinked, sighing as they slumped their shoulders a little. "Yes... sure..." With a whirl of their pen, the rubble started to rise and glue itself back onto the cracked walls and ceilings, the crack lines disappearing as if no damage was ever done. Crowley nodded approvingly, clasping his hands together with awe and curiosity.

"Fascinating..." he muttered under his breath. Crowley cleared his throat, smiling cordially at Yuu. "Thank you for your help! Now, I would like you to follow me, please. I've just informed all the Dorm Leaders on WhatsApp to continue the Orientation as per usual," he said. Yuu blinked.

What the heck is a WhatsApp??

Before they could enquire of what it might be, Crowley gestured for the two other boys to stand up and come over. "Oh, and you two, also follow me since you've been acquainted to our peculiar fellow over here!"

Ace and Deuce stood up wearily, eyeing Yuu suspiciously and with uncertainty as the three teens followed the headmaster.

☘︎☘︎

Crowley led them up the cobblestoned spiral steps to the top of the campus building, path being blocked by a big gate. Crowley used a key card he kept in the right breast pocket of his suit jacket, tapping it against the key panel before the gate opened and eventually led them to his private room in the Headmaster's Office.

It was lined with shelves and shelves of books, taking up all the walls of the room, lit by candles on gothic-looking chandeliers and it gave a somewhat eerie yet also mystical feel to it.

"Now, you must all be wondering why you're all here," Crowley said. "You're not in trouble, don't worry, but I need to discuss with you something important, I'm sure you know what about."

He looked at Yuu. "Yuu... do you perhaps live in a world known as... Twisted Wonderland? Where mirrors can talk, books levitate off the ground and stone gargoyles can talk and fly?"

Yuu looked at him suspiciously but nodded slowly. "Yes... why?"

Ace and Deuce widened their eyes with shock. Since when would he have known a place like that??

Crowley chuckled to himself. "Well, you see, I used to study mythology and folklore when I was younger in my more... prime years," he explained. "I've been fascinated by this place that I've mentioned before, and that this college has some sort of connection to that world as a whole. Your Magic Pen, is it? Yes... it's like the very ones I see in the books about this mysterious place," he said with a fascinated grin, eyeing Yuu's pen.

Yuu's eyes widened slightly before frowning. "I don't understand... does that mean what they say is true? I'm currently not in Twisted Wonderland but in a place known as Earth??" they questioned while pointing to Ace and Deuce (who felt very awkward just standing there), becoming slightly panicky.

"Well, yes," Crowley said while clearing his throat again. "Unfortunately, I'm not so sure how to even bring you back. This world holds no form of magic. It's 'magicless', if you will."

Yuu scoffed to themselves, almost in disbelief and hysteria. "A world with no magic...? Unbelievable..." they muttered incredulously to themselves.

"Although... if you can help me decipher this, maybe... it can bring you home."

Yuu's ears perked up, looking at Crowley as he placed a thick, battered book with aged, yellowish pages. "This was said to be a spell book, a way for one world to connect with the other, that other world being Twisted Wonderland, of course."

He flipped through the pages. "I've long tried to replicate this formula but have failed many times, I've never succeeded in traveling to Twisted Wonderland no matter how hard I've tried," the headmaster sighed.

"But you," he quickly turned around, grabbing Yuu firmly by the shoulders, making the latter a bit startled, "you can be the key in making this connection!"

"Oh, and also send you home," he added.

Yuu took a good look at the book. "Even if I know what all this is... the spell itself is hard to pull off, it can result in-"

"Overblotting, yes. A condition your world of people face if they aren't careful with the amount of magic they use..." Crowley said. "But, I'm sure there's an easier way, right?"

Yuu looked at the pages wearily. "Yes... but it requires a lot more complicated sub-spells that make up one big spell. Even for a great wizard like me, this is beyond what I usually do," they muttered.

"But if it's to get back home..." Yuu looked at Crowley contemplatively before sighing. "Fine. I'll crack your spell book to satisfy your... odd curiosities but let me go back home if I succeed."

Crowley beamed, shaking their hand as to seal the deal. "Excellent!" he exclaimed, turning his head to the two boys. "In the meantime, let these two be your companions while you stay here! I'll get you a room somewhere in one of the dorms! Oh, and to avoid any public attention on this, I will need you to blend in and take part as a student in the school and refrain you from using magic outside unless you come here. Then you're free to do stuff!"

Yuu, Ace and Deuce all widened their eyes as they exclaimed:

"Refrain myself from using magic?!"

"We need to look after them?!"

The boys and Yuu looked at each other with disbelief and disdain.

The journey ahead already starting off rough...

[professorfcknmoriarty]

you're in a dark forest

your father is around here somewhere. you know he is because this is the only place you have ever seen him

he strides towards you as you fight with someone you literally dragged here

your father comes up behind you, intending to ask you to dance. his name is clint and his ribcage is open

he's always been hungry for you, but this time, he's hungry for something else

with you is biblically accurate criss angel, the mindfreak. your father opens up like a venus flytrap and eats him. there's a fish that's a bat inside him, screaming

your friends are watching on a tv. one of them is your ex who is the smartest person you know and can do literally anything they set their mind to. one of them you think is the way, the truth, and the light. the third, you proudly believe to be the greatest wizard in the world and the best person to ever live. you might be in love with all three of them, but you're not sure what platonic even means anymore. they could probably help if they wanted to. but they know you have this. they're probably eating popcorn

you twist your head upside down like an owl, use the rest of the rusted wrench you broke when your father showed up to pry open your own chest, so you can eat your father

he gives you indigestion going down - they both do, really. and you have to push their faces back in when they try to escape your stomach

the fish that's a bat that you barfed up helpfully turns biblically accurate criss angel, the mindfreak and clint kelmp into two free hamburgers in your stomach

your name is evan kelmp. to be honest, this only barely makes the list of top ten worst days of your life

[potions-of-dark-devotion]

Everyone Dreams of Going to Hogwarts

Every fan of Harry Potter has indulged in the fantasy of waiting for an Owl to deliver the fateful letter that will declare your future as a witch or wizard at Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry. Every one of us old or young had dreamed of riding the train at Kings Cross Station, taking the boats across the black lake and seeing the castle for the first time, of having dinner in the great hall, of finally figuring out where you belong in the world and it just feeling right. They fantasize about seeing their common room for the first time finally feeling that warm sense of belonging and meeting the friends that you will keep for the rest of your life. Every single one of us had fantasized about meeting our professors, exploring the grounds and discovering our latent potential. It’s a comfort for many of us and happy place to go in our minds to escape reality.

For the witches and wizards of the Wizarding World that childhood fantasy is their reality. They too wait with bated breath for their letters. They too fantasize about finally feeling that “at home” feeling, the feeling that you finally belong to something bigger and more wonderful than their wildest dreams. The chance to prove themselves. The chance to start over for many, the chance to leave their sometimes abusive homes for a place that finally actually feels like home to them. Harry was one of those people. Dumbledore was one of those people. Hermione, Ron and even Neville all find this sense of belonging sooner or later. They all find their forever home at Hogwarts the way we all dream.

Now imagine being Seveurs Snape.

You live in a house with a father that doesn’t understand you and screams and yells at you and your mother on a daily basis and you feel so alone in the world. You have one peer who appreciates in you the magic that allows you to rise above the squaller and cruelty in which you live. You have one friend who sees you for who you are and appreciates that about you truly, while being forced to inhabit a world that not only doesn’t understand you but is actually often openly hostile to you. Hogwarts, you beleive, will be your escape from this hell, and best of all you get to take this wonderful friend with you. You are being whisked away to a fairy tale castle where dreams come true and you will finally feel safe and finally feel a real sense of home. You stay up all night all week waiting by the door in the early morning for the letter that is finally going to change your life. You pour over it with your best friend, going over every aspect of this incredible opportunity in your mind over and over. You’re planning how you’ll make the most of it. You finally let yourself look forward to something, to open your heart to something, to dream of something. Your greatest hearts desire to this moment is finally coming true.

Then you get on the train.

And the hell begins before the first day has ever even started. Your friend is angry at you for something entirely out of your control, and even though you make up destiny has deigned that on this day you will meet the person that will destroy any hope you ever entertained of Hogwarts being a home at all. His name is James Potter. His partners in the crimes which will forever change your life are Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black. From the moment you meet you are ridiculed by them, physically abused by them, and the worst part is from this day forward it is never going to end.

Your best friend is put not just in a different house but in the house that hates your house the most, and from this day forward you will forever have a strain on the only true friendship you’ve ever had. From this day forward you will have to meet them either in secret or at least in private to avoid angering both your houses at best and facing ridicule at worst. The moments you stole with this friend in the muggle hell will ironically be the only moments of peace you’ll truly have with them. Not only that, but they are sorted into the same house that 4 of your worst tormentors reside in.

But it’s even worse. Because although at home you can escape form your father and potential school bullies by hiding yourself away in some nook or cranny, making yourself scarce, staying out late at night in the woods or just being as quiet as possible; you will never be able to escape the torment that now awaits every day. You have classes with them, you run into them, you see them trying to take away the only friend you have every day. And it doesn’t even end there, now they have a tracking device that you don’t know about, but somehow they manage to find you no matter where you hide. No matter where you go they are somehow always there. No matter who you talk to, they all act like you’re crazy. Because none of the other professors or students know about the marauders map they find you strange for jumping at every blow of the wind. Because they don’t know about the map they don’t believe you at all when you try to explain that somehow James Potter and his gang seem to pop up conveniently every single place you go to hide and they even blame you for trying to figure out how to protect yourself. They tell you you’re bringing it on yourself for being too weird or too jumpy or too nosy. Even your best friend in the world is starting to doubt you. You feel like you’re going insane.

So you try to have your tormentors expelled. You try so hard to figure out something, anything that will end the days on end of suffering and abuse. But you’re the weird kid. You’re the ugly kid. You’re the emo goth kid. Nobody gives a shit about you and you know it. You know you’re on your own. You’re a half blood, so the the people in your house who were supposed to have your back ignore you at best and tease you about it at worst for letting Gryffindor students get the best of you. Any hope you had of Hogwarts being your home has been destroyed.

So you try to follow James and The Gang around. Yes everyone sees you as creepy for this, becusse you don’t have a map that magically tells you where they will be at all times. You have to go about it the old fashioned way. You hide behind bushes, you peak around corners. Yes everyone finds you creepy now on top of everything else, but it’ll be worth it if you can finally enjoy what was promised to you at age 11, a home. You’ll finally be able to breathe.

But no. Instead what happens is your tormentors figure out that you know that they are putting the lives of students in danger by wandering the grounds with a werewolf against the wishes of the headmaster. You know that if you can just prove it that the torment will be over, but what you don’t know is that they are one step ahead of you, and for the unimaginable crime of trying to thwart them; they are going to plan to inflict a dangerous illness of lycanthropy on you at best, maul you to death at worst. You are close to both your proof and your death when one of them gets cold feet at the last minute and decides he doesn’t in fact want to go to prison.

You think “maybe it’s finally over now”, “maybe everyone will see now that they are cruel, that this is what they’re really like”, “maybe I’ll finally get a moment of peace, maybe Dumbledore and Lily will finally beleive me”. But no. Of course not. Because remember, you’re the weird emo Slytherin kid and your life is secondary. It always has been. Dumbledore swears you to secrecy to protect one of your tormentors, so you get no justice for the attempt on your life. Because Dumbledore had forbidden you to speak about your traumatic experience of almost being murdered, your best friend doesn’t beleive you at all and instead blames you for sneaking around. They don’t even give you the chance to defend or explain yourself. Instead you’re made out to be the creepy bad guy who wants to destroy the Potter Gang out of jealously.

Worst of all you secretly suspect that your best friend has a thing for the person who makes your life a living hell every single day. You see the stolen glances and the way they look at each other, the way she is never totally on your side. You tell yourself that this is all in your head, that Lily would never betray you that way. That all the hours you spent dreaming of Hogwarts together will mean more than a crush. But oh, sadly you are very wrong there too.

Not even a few months after attempting to take your life your abusers are back at again. Remorseless as ever they hunt you down like dogs and follow your every footstep. You haven’t a moment of peace even to do your normal school work. The only place you are safe is your common room, and even then you can’t let your guard down.

Then one day it happens.

The little pieces of happiness that you’ve managed to tuck away from yourself are cruelly ripped away. They manage to find you again. The torment us as usual. They all gang up on you, each taking a go for their own amusement. They fling you on your back, force you to vomit, force you to listen to their emotional abuse while they make a go at hitting on your best friend, and the torment does not end there. Now they are picking you up off the ground and taking off your clothes. Now on top of every other humiliation they have amused themselves by sexually humiliating you in front of everyone in your class including your closest ally. Every part of you is on fire inside and out and the depth of horror and hurt inside you is so big you don’t know what to do with the feeling. Then your friend finally steps in. But now you’re so hurt and angry that it’s bursting out of you in the worst possible ways.

Now the worst thing finally happens.

You call your best friend a slur; something you know will hurt them more than any other thing, because you’re destroyed, because you’re angry at them for letting it get this far, because you’re humiliated and because you’re tired of not being held in a higher regard than the person who has ruined your life; because you’re sick of their moralizing and their pitty.

Now you’ve lost the only person you’ve ever really felt close to. Now you’ve lost any human sympathy forever.

And it’s not over yet. Now you’re upside down again. And this time they aren’t content with exposing the rest of your body for the world to see. Now they are out for blood, and the revenge they have settled on is Sexual Assault. They remove your underwear to expose your most private parts to the world and there is nothing you can do about it. Nowhere you can go. No one who cares. No one who will come to your rescue.

Snape must have felt so hopeless it’s a wonder he didn’t try to end his life. People have done so over much less.

Hogwarts was never truly a home for Severus Snape. Even in adulthood he works in the place that was the site of innumerable traumas and heartaches. Everyday he faces trigger after trigger of the worst day of his life, while protecting the progeny of the only person he ever felt close to and the person who cruelly ripped away any chance he had at normal life. This is why I feel for Severus Snape so much in every scene. He is confronted every day with the worst memories a person can endure yet he chooses to be brave anyway. He chooses to do the right thing anyway. He puts other people’s well-being first anyway. He chooses the side of the light beyond all that had conspired to make a sociopath out of him. He holds a place in his heart for love and he protects that love with his entire being. Platonic love is just as powerful as romantic love and Severus Snape is the perfect example of this. A person even in the worst circumstances can still make the most difference in the world, can still choose to be their own person and make their own choices. Even when the world is wholly against him, Severus Snape is the pinnacle of integrity.

This is why he’s my favorite character. He’s the bravest character in the narrative, but he’s also the character with the most integrity.

[lackeyhenchman]

Taking newly-released Gale to the bookstore and the Unitarian church is very fun when all we have left to do is go fight the Brain. Hell yeah buddy, let's take a break to go yell at your ex-girlfriend. We can tell her what you were just telling me, about how the reason you won't fall to the folly of one of the greatest wizards who ever lived is because you had your dick inside her once

[radiance1]

Vlad owned a cookbook.

Keyword, owned.

But you see, it was far from an ordinary cookbook.

It was a bit magical in nature, not on any purpose of Vlad's part, despite being the one to make it. It was created a while after Vlad stopped having an obsession with Maddie and became on somewhat better terms with Jack, in which he decided to entirely ignore one Daniel Fenton.

Instead, he focused on creating the perfect cookbook that has ever graced the mortal plane. Made from the highest leather, the best finest paper and bound together with the best thread he could find.

All helpfully sourced from the Ghost Zone.

Of course, after all of that he had to, well, fill it with recipes.

He had multiple duplicates scouring the internet for various recipes, and since it's for personal use he doesn't have to care for copyright or whatever since it won't be used by anyone but him. While also looking around in the Ghost Zone for specific types of ghosts.

Mostly grannies.

Overtime and with help from his multiple duplicates his cookbook has quickly become filled up, though for some reason there seemed to be an endless number of pages left unfinished, doesn't matter since it's just more space.

Then he started to encounter the spirits of witches, wizards, warlocks, shamans. You get it.

He took recipes from them too, because when he meant this would be the greatest cookbook, he meant it, and what is potion making if not Alchemy, and what is Alchemy if not cooking?

So, after some time, with blood, sweat, and tears being poured into his book with recipes from everywhere and his own personal recipe along with few decorations here and there, making it look less like a common book and more like the prized treasure it truly is, and Vlad's work is finally complete.

The greatest cookbook to ever grace the mortal plane.

He went to sleep happy, woke up the next day happy, used his newfound cookbook happily and was overall having the greatest of times.

He also found out that his cookbook became sentient. Which is nice, because he can just call out a page and it'll flip right through to it, but he doesn't recall how it became sentient.

He's been watching it carefully before completion, and every time it came in contact with ectoplasm it never became sentient like the food the Fentons produce (And yes, living food is indeed within the endless pages of his book), so it maybe had something to do with the more magical recipes contained within.

Not that he cared, really, since it served it's purpose extremely well.

Except, a few months later, with a visit from the Fentons to his mansion, he finds he lost it.

Vlad, predictably, is in shambles.

Is it because his cookbook is a genuine danger to society if in the wrong hands?

No.

Perhaps because contained within its pages are high level alchemical recipes?

No.

Or maybe because there was a recipe to create some kind of potion to kill an immortal, make someone immortal, or reverse death? (Honestly he didn't even remember where he got that one)

Fuck no.

He's in shambles because he didn't even get to use a quarter of the recipes that weren't even his own.

Also, because it's became his technical technically both his son and best friend.

Who does he accuse first?

One Danny Fenton.

Because it only disappeared after Danny came to visit, and while he wouldn't put it past Jack to do something incredibly stupid, the man was nowhere near his book at the time!

Danny, predictably, is not at all amused.

Vlad then pesters him to go out and search for his missing greatest creation and doesn't stop until Danny agrees.

So, now Danny has to find a cookbook that can and probably is a genuine danger to society if someone decides to use the far less than normal recipes.

Also, why the fuck did Vlad even have them??

[stationintern]

Hello there!

I spent Valentine's Day ruining patrons' nights at my restaurant by telling them our computers were down, but what can you do, you know? Other than that, February was a good time. I was able to read a lot more, and prepare a more in depth list for you, even if it's short.

Hope you enjoy!

Bridges by @cavendishbutterfly E, 16.1k

Reading this felt like getting a personal tour of Budapest. The reverence the author has for the location shines through and gives you a lovely look at a new location. I find Harry exploring his sexuality abroad especially interesting- as if being somewhere else allows him a sort of freedom he wouldn't find at home. There's an appreciation for beer in this fic that I appreciate, since beer is one of life's greatest treasures. I especially loved Cho Chang being a main character in this fic. I love seeing her being utilized in such a fun way when she was done so dirty by she who shall not be named.

Thickets by @wolfpants E, 17k

There are some insane lines in this (very positive), along with some very fun portrait dialogue. Gut-wrenching and extremely intimate. Some scenes can leave you feeling like you're intruding on a very personal moment as a reader. I love a Harry Potter who's a bit obsessed with Draco. ALSO, this fic contains one of the hottest wet dreams I've ever read. Do with that what you will.

Polar Night/Midnight Sun by toomuchplor E, 54.3k

Harry is very horny. Like, at times, this fic is so sexually charged it's almost unbearable. In a very good way. The clothing descriptions make me want to touch those mittens and hats so bad. I know they'd be soft and so fucking squishy. A few things this fic includes: one bed, a lack of magic, for a while, that is perfectly reasonable, and Harry's thing for Draco's teeth (they're like a military cemetery, if you even care.) Also, the sexual allure of someone struggling to get into an attic (I get it,) and Draco's daddy issues (typical but welcomed.) Diagnosis: Extensive therapy. For everyone. Even the dog. ALSO, these boys have STAMINA.

Recursion by @tessacrowley E, 132.5k

As I said in a previous post, "Sometimes you just have to zap Draco Malfoy into the past and let him live for years as the wizard Young Sheldon." This fic will give you WHIPLASH, but it won't be nearly as bad as Draco's. This boy(man?) goes through it. Absolutely engrossing. I couldn't stop reading until I was finished. I love a good canon rewrite, and @tessacrowley has now written my two favorite fics in that genre. Their characterization of Draco is always spot-on in whatever context they put him in. Show-stopping, fantastic, wonderful.

See you next month! XX, Moon.

[we-do-bones-bracket]

Round 5 Match 2

Propaganda:

Harrowhark Nonagesimus (spoilers)

She is THE bone lady. The supreme bone lord. Her entire shtick is bones, as corroborated by multiple other characters throughout the books. She can literally do things with bones that no other necromancer is capable of, and that's before she [spoiler-fueled power upgrade].

Our girl decorates with bones. She gets turned on by growing someone a new bone arm. She's the greatest bone magician there ever was. She's so good with bones it makes god nervous.

she's a necromancer, specifically a bone adept and my god does she love bones. she can make skeleton armies out of powder and puppet dead people so that they look alive. she grew one of her frenemies a new arm just right there on the spot because why not. she's also super edgy and wears black all the time and i love her

Made soup out of her own marrow to make skeletons explode out of someone's stomach. Noone is doing it like her

She does bones, motherfucker.

WE DO BONES, MOTHERFUCKER

Skulduggery Pleasant (spoilers)

he's so we do bones he brought himself back from the dead. AND THEN changed his name to skulduggery to match with his skeleton lifestyle better. he's irish. he used to be great at motivational speeches but now he sucks so bad at them. his skull isn't actually his skull it's someone else's. he wears bespoke suits. he drives a variety of classic cars. he is an incredibly powerful wizard, but also just has a gun that he uses. he can speak Irish Gaelic. his ribcage HAS been used as a xylophone. he's 444 years old.

He's a skeleton in a formal suit and hat. He's a detective. He both carries a revolver and throws fireballs at people. For a long time the accepted reason he was a skeleton was "he's just to ornery to die". He wore someone else's skull for a while, complained that it was noticeably uglier, and was correct. He's sassy enough to trade insults with a teenage girl on a regular basis. How can he not win.

He's literally a living skeleton that does magic, is a detective, and drives around in a cool car. Vote for him

Walking skeleton noir detective, no one is doing bones like this guy.

[oakheartedmuse]

Lily Evans defined by life, not just love:

A woman of strength, light, and action

okay. so, i’ve been thinking about this a lot, and i decided to write it down for the sake of my own sanity. forgive me if it lacks a bit of coherence. here it goes:

Much has been said about Lily: as a mother, wife, best friend, member of the Order, and how her love is the foundation of the entire saga. We all know that it was her love that saved Harry and allowed the whole story to unfold. But there is a question that lingers: who is Lily beyond the roles she is inevitably placed into? Who is Lily for herself? I know there are many discussions about the need to portray Lily as a flawed character with her own will. Unfortunately, Lily was constructed to always be tied to a man—whether her husband, her best friend, or her son. But today, I want to talk about Lily as a person, about Lily as a woman.

When I write my stories about Lily, I always try to portray her as a living character. And I don’t mean "living" in the sense of being physically present —of course, in my stories, she isn’t dead— but rather in the sense of someone full of vitality. Here, I’d like to bring in some testimonies from the characters who knew Lily to support my perspective.

One of the first accounts we have of Lily's image comes from Hagrid, who tells Harry that his mother was one of the kindest, most talented people he had ever met. Hagrid even says that some of the greatest wizards he knew were Muggle-born and asks Harry to keep his mother in mind. In other words, Lily, as a person, had a natural talent. We see this even when Harry buys his wand, and Mr. Ollivander tells him that his mother had a wand suited for charms, indicating that Lily already had a predisposition for great magical talent.

In my opinion, the fact that someone is born a wizard does not automatically mean they are highly gifted in magic. Lily’s talent suggests something deeper: she had a profound connection with magic and, even more so, with life. Lily had a lot of life within her. She had a greater dimension of magic, a deep connection with it. Unintentionally, she even performed ancient magic—something barely studied even by the most knowledgeable wizards. This only reinforces how deeply connected Lily was to the magical world, in a vivid way, not just through predisposition.

When I talk about "vivacity," I mean this fluidity of energy within a person, the ability to see life as something vast and rich. Sirius also possessed this; despite the adversities he faced. Even in the most difficult moments, such as when he was locked in Azkaban or at Grimmauld Place, Sirius had this vibrant energy that pushed him forward. And Lily, like him, possessed this vivacity that made her life radiant, a force that always propelled her forward.

However, Lily's vivacity was not restricted to the fact that she was a witch. It was directly tied to her humanity. Above all, Lily was an extremely human person, but at the same time, she had a brilliant facet of humanity. She knew how to recognize beauty in small things, in moments of genuine happiness. An example of this is when Harry describes the scene of Lily, arm in arm with James at their wedding, alight with happiness. Of course, it was their wedding, and both would naturally be happy, but the fact that Harry specifically highlights how Lily was particularly illuminated by happiness indicates her unique perception of life and how she could transmit this to others – even through pictures. Being filled with happiness is something profoundly human, even though humanity's destiny is often far from that. This only shows how exceptional Lily was—more full of life and humanity than most.

Another point that highlights Lily's vivacity is that she was a righteous person. She had the courage to tell James directly about his mistakes without worrying about possible repercussions. She also confronted Snape, telling him that she did not agree with his association with the Dark Arts and that she could not support his choices because her perspective was different. This act of standing her ground, with her own opinions, is deeply connected to Lily's vivacity. Many other wizards or muggles would have chosen to remain silent. An example of this is Remus, who, although also brave and just, often distanced himself from this vivacity due to the circumstances he faced. He preferred to wait in silence, unlike Lily, who would not hold back.

And once again, I’m not referring to Lily as a member of the Order because it is clear that all members followed Dumbledore’s orders. If he said something should not be done or should be delayed, people would obviously follow. But I see Lily as someone who, perhaps, would be troubled by certain orders. She would follow them, no doubt, but her vivacity would cause a disturbance regarding what she believed was right.

(Here, it would be interesting to discuss the different notions of justice and how they were perceived in contrasting ways by Lily and Sirius—but that is a conversation for another time.)

Returning to the books, we have Slughorn’s testimony, where he tells Harry that Lily was one of the most brilliant witches he ever taught. She gave him an aquarium with a flower that turned into a fish. She was charming, lively, and captivating. Lily had an energy that not only made her live intensely but also made everyone around her feel her vivacity. One can imagine that people at Hogwarts wanted to be near Lily because of this energy she radiated. Yes, she probably suffered for being muggle-born, but those who did not harbor prejudice against her certainly saw in her a symbol of joy. This becomes clear in the last book when we see Lily as a child, swinging on a playground. She had this vivacity from an early age, pushing her own limits without worrying about getting hurt or facing consequences. I’m not saying she was reckless, but rather that she was open to challenges.

I believe that Lily's vivacity, this vibrant energy flowing through her veins, made her more than just a student or a young woman at Hogwarts. It led her, at 18, to volunteer for a secret organization fighting against Dark Wizards—a completely subversive act. Yet, Lily did not hesitate, and this decision reflects her vivacity, her sense of justice, and her desire to fight for a better world. She put her body and spirit into battle to make a difference, to try to build a fairer world, even knowing the dangers she faced.

The analogy between Lily’s vivacity and her willingness to fight for a better world is clear. Fighting for a world that is trying to destroy her is a sign of someone who is truly alive, who has something within them that drives them forward. Ultimately, this is also a demonstration of love.

To conclude, I would like to emphasize that Lily’s love is directly connected to her vivacity. Lily was not alive because she loved, but rather, she loved because she was full of life. This life, this pulsating energy, made her see the world as something worth fighting for, and this nurtured her with love—not just for the world, but for her family, her friends, and especially for Harry.

In conclusion, Lily Evans Potter was, is, and always will be a symbol of love, courage, determination, and, incomparably, of life.

| a canon compliant meta for @lilyfesthp ♡ |

[fwrails]

the ACTUAL top 10 hp characters with the most aura bc u guys have got it all wrong

10: hermione granger

— "the brightest witch of her age"

— became the first muggle-born minister of magic

— destroyed the hufflepuff cup

09: minerva mcgonagall

— animagus since the age of 17

— on of the most powerful witches in hogwarts history

— led the resistance against voldemort at hogwarts

08: alastor moody

— "mad-eye moody"

— led the first wizarding war and heavily influenced the second

— filled half the cells in azkaban

07: regulus black

— first to find the dark lord's secret

— betrayed and become voldemort's first traitor at 16 years old

— kickstarted the mission to destroy voldemort

06: bellatrix lestrange

— voldemort's most loyal servant, follower, and fighter

— escaped azkaban

— the most feared and demented death eater

— killed her own cousin (rip ....)

05: barty crouch jr

— one of the sneakiest and smartest students at hogwarts

— escaped azkaban without anyone noticing

— was under polyjuice potion for an entire year and fooled everyone

— successfully restarted voldemort's reign

04: severus snape

— "the half-blood prince"

— created powerful spells and potions as a student

— one of voldemort's most precious followers while being a double agent

— the most valuable and unnoticed spy during the war

03: albus dumbledore

— the strongest wizard in history

— the greatest and most influential headmaster at hogwarts

— the only one feared by voldemort

— the most powerful and pivotal pieces in the wizarding war

02: tom riddle / lord voldemort

— "he who must not be named"

— created 7 horcruxes

— the heir of slytherin

— one of the smartest and knowledgable wizards ever

— had the most powerful following in wizarding history

01: harry potter

— "the boy who lived"

— defeated voldemort at age one

— survived the killing curse ... twice

— became the master of death

— found all 7 horcruxes and destroyed them

— defeated the greatest dark wizard in history at age 17

[asocial-skye]

This is probably elaborated on a lot more in detailed meta, but for all of the shit that Lucas has pulled and all of his questionable decisions, Palpatine is probably his greatest triumph as a villain within narrative. Yes, he is absolutely a cartoon with no redeeming qualities, and Anakin definitely has a more dynamic character arc, but it's still incredible.

Star Wars as a franchise is associated with war and wartime: laser sword battles, epic forbidden romance, last stand trench runs against powerful enemies. It's all action, stylized violence and "rule of cool." There is good character writing and plot of course, but the public perception of Star Wars as a whole is about the cool space wizards and laser guns.

So it's absolutely curious that Lucas, in a trilogy that he said was geared towards children, had his villain do none of the things that made Star Wars so famous. Palpatine never fought ever. Except in Revenge of the Sith, Palpatine's horrible crimes all stemmed from his politics, and his cunning. Part of the Jedi's blindness to Sidious was that he was playing them on a field that they didn't expect: politics.

The Jedi are not politicians, nor have any interest in politics; the movies make this painfully clear. (The fact that the Council just goes and attempts to execute Palpatine, a popular leader who was "democratically" elected-I will give the Jedi credit; Palpatine is a monster, and killing him then and there was probably necessary- shows that there aren't the most politically minded) Palpatine literally does more damage to the entire galaxy that has repercussions for a generation- seriously, people like Biggs probably lived and died within the Empire- than Anakin could ever do during Operation: Knightfall or even as his tenure as Vader. And the Jedi can't do anything to stop it because they refused to play the game. In fact, one could make the argument that refusing to play only meant that Palpatine could carry out his agenda even faster.

It's almost like the bad guy won because any damage wreaked by an army of space wizards can be done a thousandfold by one politician. And it's like the lesson is that if you turn a blind eye to the injustices in your government, the corruption festers until it turns into something unspeakably horrid, and by then it'll be too late.

That's something to think about.