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help i’m so confused @oflights help

okay i’m playing baldurs gate

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okay i’m playing baldurs gate

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young jon stewart save me jesus fucking christ

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oh my fucking god

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I'm a cryptid in Stardew valley. I live on the outskirts of town. I disappear for days on end, purchasing daily one-way tickets to the calico desert. Nobody knows where I go while I'm there. Can occasionally be found fishing at random spots throughout town. I am never not running on at least one triple shot espresso. I take the abandoned minecarts to get around and am frequently seen disappearing into the sewers. I carry a sword for some reason. Once every week or two I will stride into your bedroom to deliver you your favorite meal. I'm a self-made millionaire. I attend all the town events and will go to your concert in the next town over. I have donated approximately 2583 items to the local museum and singlehandedly revitalized the town community center. There are rumors I can talk to junimos. I'm friends with the local wizard

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Wip Drarry at a charity ball perhaps?

The dance ⬇️

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you dangle on the leash of your own longing; your need grows teeth

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just got a tramp stamp

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thank you for ur rec list theres so many fics sometimes I donnt know what to start with!

omg ur welcome!! i’m so glad you found them!

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I saw this post and just had to make it Drarry.

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Hello! List 5 thinks that make you happy, then put this in the askbox of the last ten people that reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers :D

hi honey! i think you sent this months ago but hello i’m here!

1. currently, the sims 4 is my main go-to for a pick-me-up

2.alternatively, or at the same time, dropout tv has been a huge comfort!

3. making people happy at my serving job!

4. a really good gin and tonic

5. a fan absolutely blasting me while i sleep!

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update on Stacy the intern!

turns out transmasc. took him to the vet and behold! Male

LMFOANDIFFKO this is actually so fucking funny. we love him

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Thought your wireless was brilliant, really evocative and beautiful little vignettes, effortless writing ❤️❤️

thank you so so so much ❤️❤️❤️

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wip snip anyone?

a snippet from my wip that’s about nothing and everything at the same time. or, harry keeps dreaming of draco. what happens when he starts popping up in real life?

based on headlock by imogen heap.

The first time Harry saw him after the war, it was through the condensation of a half-empty pint glass, distorted and monstrous as he entered the pub. Just like those dreams Harry kept having after a few too many, on the nights when he’d fall into bed suppressing the urge to vomit on an empty stomach.

He’d stand on a rocky cliff, whose sharp drop and jagged edges reminded him very much of someone he’d once known. Reminded him of the man who surrounded him, clouding his peripheral vision as an abstract concept with no shape or form— boundless as a deep ocean, fracturing and piecing himself back together behind Harry’s back whenever his eyes focused on the water. The sky spat rain onto his dream-numb face.

No matter the setting, the weather, or the evening, Draco was always closing in on every side.

Each night the pressure grew in intensity, until finally Harry awoke with a start and a dry mouth, before gulping down water from the bathroom sink.

****

This was a small village, whose name was unimportant and therefore did not exist, but existed enough to be called “No Name,” not far from Hogwarts. Though, far enough that the needle-sharp towers and Quidditch hoops sat nestled behind thick clouds, hazy and so easy to ignore if one should choose to turn away. Wizards with nothing to lose and themselves to protect hid here, crowded into one pub and two shops, pretending not to know why the boy with the lightning bolt scar hid behind his coat collar.

Harry sat in his booth, cradled by two walls to his sides and a comforting view of all who decided to enter. Seven years he’d sat in that booth during the summers, drinking the same brew, making the same small talk with the same people. London felt so far away.

In September he’d be back in his classroom, putting up posters, slapping stickers on windows and pretending that nothing had ever hurt him. Harry learned that when you are a good adult, nothing can hurt you in front of the children. You simply can’t allow it.

Pushing his life in London into the shadowy corners of his mind, sitting just far enough from Hogwarts to feel and not touch, Harry was allowed to hurt for a moment.

****

Draco sauntered up the bar, took a stool with a straight back and straight face, gesturing to the bartender before wrapping his skeletal fingers around a glass of Chenin Blanc not forty seconds later. Another thirty seconds and he’d drained it, thrown some galleons onto the counter, and was preparing to leave. He’d never taken off his coat. Harry wondered why he even came in the first place, when he could’ve done the same thing at home. Had a glass of wine and moved on to the next solitary activity, like most normal people would.

Maybe it was to torment Harry, to confuse him into walking out the door behind him like he wanted to so badly. To ask him why and what is the meaning of this?

Harry refused. Draco Malfoy had given him enough problems in his life. He didn’t need to arise from the maroon leather of the booth as if in a trance, walk a pace too quick, and arrive outside, only to find Draco waiting for him with arms crossed.

And yet…

“This is where you disappear to… No Name? Like the papers speculate?” he said, as opposed to asked, because it wasn’t a question. Rather a taunt, and Harry remembered the amount of times his fist had curled at the mere sound of that nasally, sneering voice that only such a spoiled child like Malfoy could have. Except, now, it wasn’t nasally at all, and it wasn’t sneering.

There was something about Malfoy. Something unnoticeable, as if he was a picture of himself with one mole missing on his neck. Just different enough that only those who had gotten too close could notice, and it struck Harry in that moment that he was noticing something, he just wasn’t sure what.

“‘M not disappearing, per se,” Harry replied, as if speaking through jelly, “Some would say relaxing, or moping. Depends on who you ask.”

Harry didn’t know why he was saying what he was saying, just that he was saying it, and that his face felt numb and warm even though that particular night was a bit chilly compared to others.

“You’re drunk. My bet is on moping,” Draco seemed unimpressed, pushing his hands further into the crooks of his elbows and beginning to turn around.

“And what are you doing?” Harry asked, too loud, “You were in there two minutes, had one glass of wine. Planning on crawling? Bad news, but there’s no pubs to crawl to in this place.”

“Not crawling, simply visiting,” Draco slung the words over his shoulder, smacking Harry in the face with their conciseness.

A fog crept its way into the street, blanketing the small town center in its cloudy glow.

“From where?” Harry called out, his words hitting the hollow air and falling to the ground in front of him, “For what?”

Draco turned back then, for just a moment, to deliver Harry a piercing look through the fog, close to joining all those Dream Draco’s in dissipation.

One word echoed across the street, growing smaller and smaller as it travelled, before landing like a whisper of warm breath across Harry’s lips, and then Draco was gone.

“Confirmation.”

i will probably post this fic in the next 3-4 years. ciao!

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Abled Person: Hey man, can you hold this wad of $2,000 and this one penny for me while I open my wallet?

Disabled Person: YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER FOOL!

The United States Government:

(Watch how many people don’t get this.)

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does anyone know of a career where i can just take a really long time writing problem-solving proposals for a living with an actually ridiculous amount of citations

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my bravest knighttt... come hither ..... mmmwah !! ok you are dismissed