#<- NOT a vent

[carnis-insanis]

im sorry that i havent been posting about dst lately, im still very much into it and I think i'll forever love this game but with the fandom growing and me having bad interactions with so many of the community members as well as witnessing predators in the community has made me extremely paranoid to the point that interacting with it publically or just thinking about it makes me physically faint

last night i tried reading an innocent fanfic that I used to re-read almost weekly and i threw up because I became so terrified, even tho the contents i was interacting with didnt carry even a hint of angst or anything distressing

While I will probably still interact with the fanbase, the chances of me making fanart or sharing any of my fanmade content for it are very low, which you are free to unfollow me for, but I cannot keep making things for this game as doing so has been making me harm myself and it keeps escalating to increasingly threatening levels. I know its a little pathetic to hurt myself over drawing video game characters but its not something i can help much in any other way than distancing myself from DST, even if its my special interest

Im posting this mostly as an apology for people who had been following me for DST-content and are awaiting for more of it through me exploring a new and safer interest. No one has done as much as mention it to me but I feel increasingly scared of people getting upset at me and lashing out from me not giving what is demanded of my account and its terrifying me to the point of my PTSD being on high alert and it not starts to effect my health (such as me not being able to eat or get out of bed from the stress) but also my relationships with others due to me being on edge the entire time

This is probably unserious and annoying to read but I dont think i'd be able to sleep tonight if I didnt post this. I dont wanna make excuses and I'm trying to share as little as I feel forced to so. Yeah . I apologize

Please be kind, I hate being mentally ill as much as you hate dealing with me being so

[dinklebat]

an interaction im very tired of in online autism spaces. aka when you don’t have a special interest / when your special interest isn’t [character] or [fandom]

EDIT: if you’re confused on this post look at this version: https://www.tumblr.com/dinklebat/767829405172219904/some-of-you-did-not-understand-this-post-hope?source=share

also if you want to see column posts just check #column posting on my blog

EDIT 2: I turned reblogs off because you guys are literally acting like blue and I’m done.

[vilea777]

sorry i cant hang out i forgot how to mimic human like behaviour

[leroleroart]

Depression comic

[commonzinnia]

yeah, sorry i exhibited symptoms of the disorder i told you i have. it will happen again because i have that disorder and will continue having it. hope this helps!! 🫶🫶🫶

[kenapiece-main]

Can you believe I'm having to make this meme even after successfully finishing up taxes and applying to job

[freepaleatine95]

More than 200,000 people are trapped in the northern Gaza Strip and are facing a real famine and mass extermination. Also, more than a million and a half people are facing the same famine in the southern Gaza Strip.Speak up for them, your voice can make a difference in this unjust world.

Also save my families within these families

Save my families who are suffering from famine here 👈👈

[futuristic-koala]

[worthless-mess]

"Are you ok?" I'm actually tired bro. From the bottom of my heart I'm tired

[rafeandonlyrafe]

well 🧍‍♀️ as a reminder this blog is NOT a safe space for trump supporters but it IS a safe place for women, queers, trans ppl, people of color, undocumented people, and any marginalized group.

[kuchipatch1]

yall have got to be more normal about Southern people and I'm not kidding. enough of the Sweet Home Alabama incest jokes, enough of the idea that all Southerners are bigots and rednecks, and enough of the idea that the South has bad food. shut up about "trailer trash" and our accents and our hobbies!

do yall know how fucking nauseating it is to hear people only bring up my state to make jokes about people in poverty and incestuous relationships? how much shame I feel that I wasn't born up north like the Good Queers and Good Leftists with all the Civilised Folk with actual houses instead of small cramped trailers that have paper thin walls that I know won't protect me in a bad enough storm?

do yall know how frustrating it is to be trans in a place that wants to kill you and whenever you bring it up to people they say "well just move out" instead of sympathizing with you or offering help?

do yall understand how alienating it is to see huge masterposts of queer and mental health resources but none of them are in your state because theyre all up north? and nobody seems to want to fix this glaring issue because "they're all hicks anyways"

Southern people deserve better. we deserve to be taken seriously and given a voice in the queer community and the mental health space and leftist talks in general.

[pangur-and-grim]

I think Pangur likes the new bed

[vilea777]

sorry i overreacted i had no idea everything would be fine

[lastoneout]

Ya know when people told me "when you're finally safe enough that you can leave survival mode and start to let go of and process your c-ptsd/trauma things are probably going to get really, really bad before they slowly start to get better" I thought that was reasonable. I did not understand that by "things are going to get bad" they meant "you're going to find yourself in the worst mental state of your entire life, but dw, that means it's working" and tbh I simply wish someone had been more clear.

Edit: If everyone could please take a minute and think about what it must feel like to be struggling and then have multiple strangers say to your face that they find the prospect of going through what you're going through so horrifying that they'd rather kill themselves and then stop leaving comments like that I would greatly appreciate it.

[gayvampyr]

no offense but you guys need to learn the difference between someone implying their experience is universal and a post simply just not being about you