#advocate for your friends

[rafeandonlyrafe]

well 🧍‍♀️ as a reminder this blog is NOT a safe space for trump supporters but it IS a safe place for women, queers, trans ppl, people of color, undocumented people, and any marginalized group.

[anonymocha]

I genuinely cannot feel strongly for men so if I react less interested / completely disinterested when I see a guy I can’t project into it’s not me trying to make my lesbian statement I GENUINELY just *cannot* care.

[chryblossomjjk]

[hyohaehyuk]

Jacob – Couples Therapy podcast (Hosts: Naomi Ekperigin and Andy Beckerman)

Bring a friend to a date?

Did he mean it like a throuple/threesome or did he meant "date a friend instead of starting again with your ex"?! 🤨 The hosts kinda sucked on this one. They didn't even let him explain himself 😒 I can't believe it didn't cross any of their minds to ask if he meant it like in a open relationship/polyamorous relationship way or another thing 🤦‍♀️

Anyway, I don’t even think jacob himself realised yet what he have going on with his bestie Sam.

And then right after, naomi says “i think we kinda know, so it’s fine” just unprovoked and him not saying anything… lol everybody got u and ur little workplace friend business

source: lovesjar

Also around 1:26:04 (i think is even for the same question/advice from the video above):

[elizabethrobertajones]

this is a Bad party comp. G'raha is wholly encouraged by Y'shtola to stand in six overlapping AOEs and Urianger will just watch and say "alas"

[daftpatience]

ur heds post made me go search for the criteria and im getting really scared.... my ankles click all the time (besides the other criteria) but my docs always like oh its bc ur lazy and fat like hmmmm.. maybe not!

FOR REAL my doc says that too. it can be really hard to get diagnosed with anything related to joint pain etc when fat because doctors love blaming the first thing they see and then not ever doing any tests or straiught up ignoring test results

[lutravurr]

everyone who says cluster b instead of personality disorders to refer to base pd symptoms and clearly doesnt give a shit about pw hpd or aspd die in a fire forever ok

[here-there-were-dragons]

i have to wonder what super hardcore militant vegans think should be done about obligate carnivore animals, because in all my painfully-rapidly-approaching-30-years i've literally never actually seen anyone give a clear consistent much less halfway feasible answer on that

[neon-moon-beam]

Addressing Ableism In The Submas Fandom And Its Impact Again

The fact that I know multiple neurodivergent people who have bad feelings arise from seeing any content, including official, of Warden Ingo due to an influx people turning the Submas fandom into an ableist playground in the wake of PLA speaks volumes.

Before I continue, I want to stress: I am not calling anyone in particular out.

Unknowingly making ableist content does not make you a bad person. Everyone still has things to learn, everyone has room for change and growth. Self-education and critical thinking are very important here (and everywhere). A desire to correct a mistake, change, and grow from it is better all around than digging your heels in and refusing to budge or listen.

I am not responsible for bad faith interpretations or other potential misinterpretations of me addressing these issues that have personally affected friends, acquaintances, and myself, should people choose to make these interpretations.

I am also not responsible for the reading comprehension or critical thinking skills of others. If you don’t read the entire post and choose to be reactionary towards it, including making assumptions about what was said or putting words in my mouth, I am not at fault.

Bl*nkshippers are not welcome on my content.

I can't begin to forgive the contingency of the fandom that made neurodivergent people feel unwelcome and alienated in their own space, and made them wonder if other Submas fans, or even people in general, even see them as human.

Given that it’s widely accepted that Ingo and Emmet are autistic-coded characters, the fandom could have been a safer and enjoyable space for neurodivergent (but especially autistic) people. It could have even been a refuge for people upset by the uncertainty we were left with due to PLA being incomplete. Instead, a large contingency of fans took one look at Submas and went "how sad/unhinged/angsty can I make the train blorbos?" and decided disability, trauma, and mental illness were acceptable to use as props.

To the people who have been doing things along these lines (but with especially Emmet!);  this tells neurodivergent people that you think they're unhinged, will hurt others if given an opening to do so, and portraying Ingo and/or Emmet as never having been human, turned into something nonhuman (as in Submas is singled out as nonhuman, and NOT in something like a Pokemon Mystery Dungeon AU or other AU where everyone is not human), or otherwise being not in control of their own actions is telling neurodivergent people that you don't even see them as human. And yes, you can be sending this message even if you yourself are neurodivergent!

Because of all this, I now know multiple people who do not want to see any content involving Warden Ingo, or PLA at all due to the negative association from the fandom, and even some who have stopped engaging with Submas in varying degrees.

I've made it very clear in other posts that I don't like how fandom is on tumblr for many reasons and that I do not consider myself part of the Submas fandom. But the Submas fandom has further turned me off to fandom as a whole, and I currently do not wish to engage with PLA content outside of making reassurance posts compiling evidence Ingo will or has gone home.

My roommate barely posts Submas art anymore because the pervasive ableism got to be too much. This is saying something considering she’s the author of the Submas primer many people, probably including many of those making ableist content, reblogged. She’s also the author of a post detailing Submas as autistic-coded characters. She’s been alienated from a community that she had provided a ton of research for! Please think about that for a second.

Other people don’t want to see Submas interacting with certain characters ever again (namely Volo), because of the ableist content created around their interactions, or even ships.

And if you’ve been around since at least PLA, you may have noticed that there are a few people who frequently posted about Submas as well as the ableism, who haven’t engaged with Submas content in a long time.

Fandom shouldn’t become an alienating or even hostile space for people who just want wholesome or comforting content, or simply want to see characters they like or even find representation in NOT being treated as ableist puppets or being so ooc with angst and ableism they’ve essentially become the artist or writer’s OCs. But unfortunately that's the track the Submas fandom seems to frequently head down in the wake of PLA.

If you’d like more info about the ableism that has been going on in Submas fan content, there is a list of posts here, but this is by no means exhaustive.

This is a post I previously referenced in one of my posts about the ableism about the issue of making Emmet violent and traumatized for entertainment purposes and why it’s problematic to use trauma as a prop.

And here is a post I made (with my roommate’s addition) addressing the issue of people thinking ableist portrayals aren’t harmful or don’t have an impact on real people.

And if you’re going to continue to make ableist content of Submas (or any other fandom) without any regard as to how your work impacts others, then there isn’t much anyone can do. But don’t be surprised if people choose not to engage with you or your content.

Thank you for your consideration.

[adderallbastard]

tonight has been absolute hell im going to fucking bed

[thealternatemind]

42,000 people. 42,000 people with full lives and memories and family and a culture that is being erased. 42,000 people. My mind can’t even comprehend that number. Innocents. Infants. That’s a larger number than people who live in my city.

42,000 people are dead. Israel is committing genocide. This is an ethnic cleansing. It’s not only been going on for a year but for A HUNDRED years.

Read “The Ethnic Cleansing of Palestine” by Ilan Pappe, an Israeli historian. Learn the history. Educate yourself.

Call your representatives. Advocate for a ceasefire. Free Palestine. 🇵🇸🇵🇸

[nazumichi]

there’s never been a more complex and nuanced relationship than the one between me and this girl I went to high school with but now share classes with…… none

[ratatatastic]

so you guys wanna explain whats going on here or is this just another we'll let this fade into obscurity with no explanation whatsover at all

[myopicry]

I live somewhere I could likely get hurt. I am chronically ill, so need to take care of myself. I have been attacked by a man who thought he was a woman. He turned a whole group of people against me when I said I hold strong feminist values. I have decidedly leftist, progressive political beliefs, & have been a lifelong ally of LGBT people. I can’t wait until this delusional phase is over & I may feel safe again among friends, some of whom are now trans ideologues.

it is such an unfortunate fact that we live in a reality where people will still demonize and attack women for feminist beliefs. anon, I'm so sorry that happened to you. it also is quite a sad thing that especially in leftist spaces, despite the importance that people put on acceptance, compassion, and speaking your mind, there is still such a heavy level of scrutiny and a focus more and more on the optics of your politics and how they fit in with the crowd versus what kind of actual, tangible allyship you act on. furthermore, it's so so tough in progressive and leftist spaces to know that the friends you've made might completely drop you if you disagree specifically on this one issue of gender, just because all analysis and critique of gender ideology is likened to irredeemable hate, even when there are real issues in the ideology and community that should be pointed out for the betterment of everyone!

if it's any help, I would recommend that you always make sure you prioritize your own safety. it's obviously very important to stand by your beliefs and morals, and generally it's a good idea to be truthful to your friends. but sometimes, strategic lying is just kind of necessary to keep yourself safe! don't feel pressured to ever put yourself at risk because of your beliefs, and it's also okay to not be totally honest with friends and people in your social support network if you know they're mistakenly going to generalize what you say, especially if it could put you in danger. plus, as a woman, people are much harsher on any perceived "lapses" in a performance of agreeability, so from my perspective, I think it's good to keep a little distance from people who would care too much over "gender thought crimes" and don't let them get you into a vulnerable place with your beliefs.

there's an advantage in holding some part of your mind in private, and it sucks so much that in these spaces it can be hard to be yourself and trust people who should care about you and support you as a friend, but yeah, sometimes all you can do is protect yourself and wait it out until the popular opinions shift. of course, it's also good if you can find some outlet for your real beliefs and even find some semblance of community where you can engage in them, or whatever works for you (this is what this blog is for me !! essentially a coping mechanism for the fact I can't endlessly blab about my grievances with gender ideology in real life)

and just overall, anon, I hope you do find friends that will support you first and foremost and not be swayed by the pushing of popular ideology! I wish all the best for you and hope no more danger or harm comes your way. and of course, thank you for visiting my inbox, I believe in hearing people's testimonials, and finding a space to vent your frustrations is incredibly important as well. I can't promise to always have an amazing/enlightening/etc. response to every ask, I've always been just a little bit shit at comforting people in a rough spot because I myself can get quite cynical about the world, but I will try my best to offer some advice, or at least just a listening ear for anyone who wants to speak ♡♡♡

[parasitoidism]

suddenly racked with a pang of severe annoyance at persona 3 getting its second remake/updated version with new content and improved gameplay while persona 1 and 2 can't even get the psp versions ported to steam

[sukibenders]

Listen, and I say this as a Rhaenicent fan, but seeing some on Twitter going "Alicent would never hurt Rhaenyra like that," or "But if she were with Alicent..." really has me shaking my head because, really? That's what you thought coming out of this episode?