#also this applies to more regions than just family of course

[lucidowl]

Casual reminder from an adoptee who's been loved by and cared for by adoptive parents since birth:

If they aren't willing to act like family to you, they're not family to you.

I think a lot of people forget that. You, likely biospawn (not adopted), still have a choice- lots of choices, actually- in the matter, and no one has an immutable right to stay in your life. If the relationship is not equal, you have no obligation to continue to serve them well. Though everyone deserves love and care, it does not have to come from you.

The goal is to have folks who want- not just tolerate having to, but WANT- to give you love and care that is fulfilling to you and who see your own love and care towards them as fulfilling. Both of these; never one without the other. And there are a whole lot of different ways that can happen, but it does happen.

[cinnamonest]

//breeding, very heavy focus on impreg + pregnancy/motherhood stuff, sort of in conjunction with [this post] as well as [this post]

Happy (one day belated) Mother's Day, let's celebrate the joys of motherhood :)

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Childe has no concept of a small family. At least, not of it being acceptable.

It's part of the culture of certain nations' rural areas, Snezhnaya being one of them. Everyone in the rural, smaller town regions strives to have big families. Maybe it originates from a rougher climate leading to a need for ensuring the survival of one's lineage, or something like that, but regardless, for Snezhnayan men, having a lot of kids is one of those masculine pride things, and by contrast, not having lots of kids is unthinkable, shameful even.

So, of course, he's long since decided on having a large family. He's wanted it for so long, but his work has prevented him from following the other tradition that rural areas and smaller towns in all nations are known for... you know, marrying and starting to have kids practically the millisecond one reaches adulthood.

He's young, sure, most people would think him too young for that sort of thing, but in his mind, he's grown up seeing people marrying and starting families at very young ages to be normal, expected. Which means he's missing out on what he's more or less entitled to. He knows from visits home that all the kids he grew up with are already marrying and having kids at his own age. But is he going to let his position stop him? Of course not. So, truthfully, he had this in the back of his mind for some time, and he just so happened to take the opportunity that presented itself.

In other words, you were just in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and just so happened to not only fit a list of physical preferences that caught the wrong person's eye, but also just happened to be so defiant, so resistant, and far too often cold and mean. Perhaps if you hadn't been, he might have left you alone. If you had just entertained his fantasies, even in word only, he might have had a bit of pity on you, felt a shred of guilt at the thought of tearing you away from your life.

How ironic that a defense mechanism you intended to deter him, would have ignited the very urges you wanted to extinguish, an unintended consequence of applying normal tactics to a sick mind.

But regardless, you just happened to meet, and thus now you're here. That's what he tells you, after whisking you away and bringing you to live with him, constantly pulled from one dark room to another between his room on the ship, Fatui bases, hotels in various regions, and every other place he spends the night. Not with that exact wording of course, no, he's got that excitable, almost childish romanticized view of things, he portrays it as aligned fates, that you were destined to cross paths at the right time.

It's part of one big long spiel you get. The whole you're going to stay here and nothing you can do will change that part is spoken very quickly and nonchalantly, while he treats the other parts with much more importance, namely his intentions for the future.

That being, you're going to have a big family and have lots of his kids. That you'll be a mother. He says it very happily, like you're a young just-married couple or something, like the living scenario you have is normal, like you're here of your own volition.

It does take you by surprise at first — you had thought you were being taken as more of a sex slave than anything, but quickly find you're being treated more like a spouse, in a... really odd way. That, too, is done with a blissful but casual attitude, as if he's almost unaware of the gravity of the crime being inherently committed by having you here... although you suppose people like him are more or less above the law. He announces his arrival when he returns each day, is very affectionate towards you, laughs off any hostility from you as if it's a grumpy little kitten making a fuss, not a human being with a very justified reason for vitriol.

He's very transparent and straightforward with you, it's not like he's trying to slowly ease you into it or enact his wishes without telling you what will happen, no. No deception. No avoidance of the topic. And not a single shred of willingness to compromise.

No consideration of how you may feel about that matter. It's not a discussion, it's telling you. Merely communicating information that is already set in stone. The information is laid on you so fast and suddenly that your mind is left reeling. First you're forcibly fucked and dragged here, now you're being told it's permanent and oh by the way get ready to start the rest of your life as some mother-slave-wife amalgamation?

It's too much for you to handle. What's even more baffling is that even as you protest, he just blows it off like it's nothing, like this isn't an incredibly grave, serious ordeal.

B-but... I don't want--

Ah, you think that now, but you'll be happy, promise.

But... but you can't just do this to me!

Yeah? What are you gonna do to stop me? Haha....

That all still doesn't give you quite the same extent of nausea compared to the next set of information you're given.

Even if you were familiar with the cultural norm, you didn't realize the sheer extent. You knew he had like, what, six or seven siblings? That strikes you as a large number, so it fits with what you're aware of regarding the norm.

You didn't realize that was an average number to them. Not until he told you so, in the midst of his ramblings about your future, when you gathered the courage to ask what he means by "big" when the words big family come out of his mouth.

He pauses, looks up pensively. Well, anything less than five is small, he says, anything from five to eight is about the median, and anything above that is when you finally get to be considered to be "above average". So his family, with seven or eight or so kids total, is kind of in the middle, about average, in his own words.

But he wants a big family. So, you know, gotta at least hit double digits.

He says it very casually, like it's no big deal. He's too excited to notice the look on your face, at least not for a few seconds, finally turning to you after realizing your stunned silence.

Mm? Something wrong?

...That... that's... I can't...

But your protests are quickly brushed off again. Sure you can. Your body is perfectly capable, so what would be stopping you? You're just worrying too much. Don't think about it so much, just... lay back and let it happen.

In most regional cultures of any nation, people do tend to at least plan families — they save up a bit first to make sure they have enough money, they calculate the gap between when they have a first and second child, often not wanting to wait too long so that the children will have more time and similarity to bond, but not so soon that the added responsibility overwhelms the parents.

That's not something that crosses his mind. He has no reason to worry about finances, sure, but he also pays no mind to questions like is this really an environment to raise a kid in? Is the tsaritsa okay with that? Where will they stay?

Eh... that's all stuff that can be dealt with another time. He tends to take the philosophy of crossing bridges when he gets to them. Baby-planning later, baby-making now.

And nothing you can say deters him. Yes you'll be a good mom (don't worry, he'll make sure you behave exactly like he thinks a good mother should), yes you'll be fine, the Fatui has some of the best doctors in the world, so you'll be great health-wise, actually. Yes he has the resources.

And no, he's not waiting. You have this weird insistence on this idea that you should have a period of time where you just... aren't even trying to have kids. Is that normal, where you're from? Do people really get together, get married and live together and not immediately start trying for a baby? Won't that detract from the maximum number of kids you can have in the end? Then why would anyone do that?  When he asks that very question, though, you don't really have a good answer, to him at least. You can't just rush something like that, is what you say.

But... of course you can? That's what he's trying to do, rush it so you can go ahead and get a head start and have more and more kids in the future. It's like talking to a brick wall. He cannot process, cannot fathom how people can exist for whom making as many offspring as possible isn't the number one priority in life. Well, whatever, it seems you just have these weird cultural ideas you're not going to let go of, so there's no point in trying to reason with you.

His determination is somewhat obsessive. Even when he's inside you, hips bouncing off the back of your thighs, he keeps talking about it, words slurring as he mumbles something about putting a baby in you, knocking you up, so on and so on, all the while, gripping at your hips and making sure to slam all the way in as far as possible when he finally cums inside you. Maybe he's already accomplished that, who knows, but he has to just keep trying until it's certain, so you only get a few minutes of respite before starting back again.

No condoms. No pulling out, even though you beg for him to do so. Whimpering and pulling at his hair, pushing at his chest, all night long, over and over.

N-not yet, please, I'm not ready, I can't...

Your pleas are partially just for the very sake of not wanting that, but of course, there's also the fact that you realize it will be a death sentence to any hope of escaping him. You've been looking for ways to do it since you were dragged here a day or so ago, you can't let this inhibit you. You just need some more time, just a little bit of time...

You don't get that time.

It doesn't take long. He's young and virile, so, perhaps that's why you don't even get a single cycle from the time you get brought to him. The realization hits you like a punch to the stomach. At first, you don't say anything, deciding not to bring the matter up unless he does, partially out of your own denial, and partially because seeing him get inevitably excited will irritate you.

Apparently, they must have some rather atrocious reproductive education out in rural Teyvat too (or, rather, you realize it's probably just fine, and it's more the fact that he probably paid no attention), seeing as he had no idea that that is the standard tell, instead asking you hey, is there a way you can tell if you're pregnant? Do you just wait for your stomach to get bigger or...? and thus, you had to reluctantly explain that.

You can sort of see the gears turning in that otherwise empty head of his. You've been here two months now... you haven't bled at all in that time (he would know, he's been fucking you multiple times a day)... so that means...? You can practically see his eyes light up before he reaches out and wraps his arms around you. He's ecstatic for the rest of the night, won't shut up about all the things you're going to do. You feel sick.

Not that this information in any way impedes him from continuing to empty his balls in you on a daily basis, no. It doesn't slow down in the slightest. In fact, you were sort of hoping he would get turned off the further along you got, since you know that happens with a lot of guys... but not him. No, if anything, you're pretty sure you have more rounds per day the further along you are, sometimes he'll just look you up and down, staring at your belly for a few moments with a haze in his eyes before more or less dragging you over to bed -- and it's not like you can resist much, you're all wobbly as it is...

And, of course, any negativity from you is shut down on the spot. At first, he mistakes it for nervousness -- don't worry! It'll be fine! He can recite those words with ease, over and over, telling you to just not worry about it is his default answer to any concern you have. But once you start getting a bit more openly negative, making it clear it's an attitude issue from you, and finally crossing a line when you outright state you never wanted this, and thereby implying the most heartless and callous thing he can conceive of, that you're going to be resentful of him and your child... it's one of the few times you ever see him not all smiles and sunshine about the whole thing. A complete change of expression, face going dark, eyes narrowing. He grabs your jaw with a grip so firm it hurts.

Don't say that.

It's one of the few times you've seen him so serious and firm. It makes your heart skip a beat.

But almost as soon as he says it, he's back to being cheery... ah, you're just grumpy because you're hormonal and all that. You're lucky he has thick skin. Besides, you're too cute to take your grouchiness seriously, haha... what's that look for...?

And soon, you find yourself in a state of dissociation, having to process and accept reality once you have a living, breathing infant in your arms. It's not until that moment that the reality truly sets in, that you can feel your fate being sealed, that you realize this is actually, genuinely the beginning of the rest of your life.

You try not to dwell on that.

It's hard not to, though, considering that you barely get any time to rest, being pestered each day with questions of how many more days left until the doctor said you can have sex again?? Because he's suffering and miserable. He was devastated to find out you can't go back to it in less than 24 hours, no one ever told him about that part. And you don't even seem to sympathize with him, are you heartless? Yes you gave birth five days ago and he's been very loving and taking care of you and all but haven't you thought at all about how this is affecting him? Yes you sucked him off because the whining was getting annoying but it's not the same, he needs pussy you don't understand, why are you looking at him like you're mad— did you just say "weeks?" As in plural? As in more than one week? Surely you didn't mean that, it can't be that long, right? Why aren't you saying anything. It can't be that long, it can't—

So he fucks you like a man starved when you finally give a green light. It does burn a bit, after having gone a while without getting so ruthlessly stretched and pounded as he always does to you. You're pretty sure he doesn't know his own strength, doesn't realize the sheer intensity of the force with which he grips your hips and arms and throat and presses your face into the mattress and fucks into you with such strength the whole bed creaks as it rocks back and forth. You'll be covered in bruises and sore spots in the morning, just from the grip.

And you notice the way his fingernails dig into your hips, holding your bodies as close as possible, the closer and closer you both get. You feel a sense of dread. You try to reach up and tap on his arm.

D-don't cum inside, it's too soon... I need more time, I'm not ready yet, please—

Just a little bit of time, just some time to feel like you can finally breathe, but once again, you don't get that time.

Shh... don't think about it... just focus on how good it feels, okay?

You whimper, but you're incapable of pushing him off, only able to make soft little sounds of protest when he stops fully inside, making sure not a drop goes to waste when he stuffs you with cum. He stays inside you for some time, not pulling out so as to prevent any from spilling. Just like he did before. And he holds you, rubs your back, says soothing little mumbled things about how you worry too much while you sniffle and tremble.

And then there's two.

He does take quite a bit of pride in it. That applies when you're alone too, he likes to lay his head on your stomach laying in bed and will just relax there for a while, grinning like an idiot. But it applies to others too; it's somewhat of an ego boost to have other people see what he views as an accomplishment. He likes showing you off in general, but he's especially happy to parade you around whenever you're very heavily swollen up. It's some sort of ego thing, you guess.

He likes getting to show off the kids too, a testament to a sort of success. It's a very simple-minded sort of pride, almost humorously so, you often think to yourself. A simplistic mentality of look at these! I made these!, almost a childish pridefulness.

Which, frankly, gets on your last nerve, how he loves to run around forcing his reluctant and rather annoyed coworkers to look at his offspring and listen to him ramble, so beamingly proud of the kid that you carried and you birthed and you care for and you feed and bathe and put to sleep, so proud of their existence as if he did anything to contribute to said existence other than being a sperm depository.

And then there's three, and then there's four, and then you get the special blessing of two at once. You think to yourself with bitter humorousness that you're over halfway to the set standard. And then there's another... and another... the realization even strikes you, a few years in, that since beginning your "new life," you've spent more time pregnant than not pregnant, information that you spend far too long taking in the weight of.

It's an incredibly awkward living situation — you basically were granted what used to be a few interconnected rooms they'd house a few bunk-bed-fuls of soliders in, turned into a sort of apartment-esque dwelling. It's where you carry out most of your tasks and live your life. You never get a break, always getting another one pumped into you as soon as it's physically possible again.

With him gone most of the days, and you having no job to speak of, you've essentially taken on a housewife role, and spend most of your day caring for the increasing number of offspring, each and every one of which, to your dismay, quickly proves to have inherited a rambunctious, hotheaded, and far too energetic nature. You will reluctantly admit, he does actually help you out quite a bit when he can, and genuinely enjoys doing so. You suppose you can admit he's actually more involved and enthusiastically helpful than a lot of fathers are... you don't give him the satisfaction of such praise, though.

Still, he's just gone for most of the day on most days, so you have to do it by yourself, or enlist whichever unfortunate newbie soldier has not yet learned to not go wandering around that one area, lest they be roped into helping out that poor slave-mother-girl that lives in that section with all those energetic kids, so they try to warn newcomers... still, some actually still offer to help, if nothing but out of pity.

Most of the time, though, it's just you and the ever-increasing number of children. You felt bad the first time you called one by the wrong name. They all look so much alike — and each one is so close together in age to the next immediate older and younger one — that you get confused sometimes, and it quickly becomes a habit, but they're quick to correct you. And you do end up loving them — you suppose that's just instinct — but sometimes... it's just too much. You can't get a spare second. You feel exhausted.

You're constantly moving, taking care of something. This one fell and scraped his knee and comes crying and blubbering to you, and you're still bandaging that up and mumbling words of comfort when you get a tug on your sleeve from behind you — Mama, I'm hungry — and you barely finish saying just a minute, I'll get you something before another one is calling for you from another room — MamaaaaAAAAAA — and soon you're holding one in each arm (a more difficult task than usual considering you're heavily pregnant again), waddling over to go check on the one that called you, and then another one comes softly shuffling over with a look what I found!, and you know it's going to be something very simple like a cool-shaped rock or leaf like always, but you don't want to hurt the poor thing's feelings and want him to be happy so you stand there smiling and feigning interest and awe and pretending it's the neatest thing ever while your arms start to tremble from the strain of holding two heavy sacks of flesh in each arm -- still trying to soothingly bounce the sniffling one up and down a bit -- and the other one is saying something but you can't make it out because three of them are talking at the same time and oh god where's the fifth and sixth ones because you told them to hang on when you went to bandage the first one and now you don't see either one and is the seventh one still asleep where you left him or not and you start to panic and -- hang on just a second, ______ -- no, I-I mean, ______ -- no, wait, uh... which one are...you're -- uh --

You feel like you're going insane. Each and every day wears you out in full.

When you finally get that rare, wonderful moment in which you can get all of them asleep at once, finally go lay down to try and get a much needed rest yourself... you always seems to have such precise timing, you barely close your eyes before the door opens and you get the announcement that your lover who you certainly must have missed is home, and what do you know, everything is so quiet, this gives you two an opportunity to make another one!

The only downside for him is that sometimes, the existing offspring have a habit of interrupting the sibling-making process... so, sometimes some poor underling (rather, usually, they need at least two or three to control them all) gets saddled with a command to entertain and herd the harbinger's offspring when he takes a day off, giving you two a day to yourselves... not to go out or anything, no. You usually spend the entirety of those days in bed, going at it like rabbits again and again.

And again. And again. Sometimes you get summoned by some underling to follow because his superior needs you for "something important," which you both know is just getting fucked over a desk or in a hallway closet because he has needs you know, and it's torture to have to wait until he can come back for the evening. Stuffs you full of cum and rests his head on your chest for a moment to recharge (they're so nice, all soft and swollen, more or less perpetually so these days), before sending you back, promising to hurry and come back for the night as soon as possible.

Oh, and you don't even get the respite of having him gone at times whenever he has to go abroad. No, he brings you with him... yes, all of you. He insisted, and eventually the few authorities above him gave in and now reserve a few extra rooms all next to each other on the ships and hotels. You don't mind that too much. It's basically just a vacation for the lot of you, and that's what you tell the kids it is too... at least they're more easily entertained than usual by looking out the window, which gives you chances to rest.

Ajax likes those trips too. He's usually more worked up and frustrated by the end of the day, and what better way to blow that steam off than to come back and breed your wife-pet again and again? He smiles when he tells you you should use these trips to set a new goal of making at least one kid in every nation. You know better than to think it's a joke.

When the people you're allowed to interact with and meet ask you how many children you have, you often have to pause and recall what number you're on now. Regardless, the answer always makes people's jaws drop. At least most of them know not to ask you why, since they seem to be well aware it's not a choice on your part. Sometimes people commend you for it, say something about how it must be so hard. Your eye twitches. You have no idea. Haha.

Everything happened so fast, the full weight of it all doesn't really dawn on you until one day, for seemingly no reason. Woken up in the early morning by crying, the same way you're woken up roughly 9 out of 10 mornings, groggily shuffling out of bed, tending to whatever the issue is before shuffling back to bed... you catch a glimpse of yourself in the window, the dark circles under your eyes, and for once, the rare sight of yourself not heavily swollen up. Still, your face is exhausted, the sort that sleep can't fix.

The reality of it settles in — you've been so busy with everything happening, you never really got to process how much time has passed, how deep into this life you've settled... you supposed in the back of your head, even after accepting the current reality, you kept this mentality that you'd still find a way out one day, but in that moment, you realize all too late that that will never happen. Even if you had the chance — and looking back, it occurs to you now you've had many chances to run — you could never bring yourself to abandon them... you get the sense that's part of his intention. It's just never really settled in in full until this moment.

Still, all you can do is stand there, trying to despair, but almost too numb to do so... you let out a heavy sigh and let yourself fall back into bed, pulling a blanket back over you and settling back into the warmth. Your weight falling onto the mattress makes it bounce a bit, causing your bedmate to stir, groggily moving closer to you, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close.

He murmurs something asking you if the kid is okay, you say yes, and then it moves onto asking what time it is, you say you don't know but it's definitely not time to get up just yet... on it goes, both of you with your eyes closed and words coming out groggy and mumbled. You can almost sort of enjoy the soft tenderness of the moment, if you forget a lot of what went into this life you live.

The exchange draws quiet after a moment, and you begin to drift back off to sleep, slowly breathing in and out in time with the rising and falling of the chest pressed to your back. You're just about to slip into slumber once again when you feel the arm wrapped around you move, hand coming to rest on your hip and slowly trail down your thigh.

Hey, I want another baby....

[cerberus-new-owner]

Had this stuck in my head all day (I lied the past 2 months) but

how do the brothers deal with like ptsd and stuff after the fall and losing their sister (I'm pretty sure it is brought up in the games but idk)

ngl I almost didn't post this

TRIGGER WARNING/CONTENT WARNING - Big boy Spoilers (can't remember what lesson/s) and Topics, Angsty, Mentions of Antidepressants, Depression, Eating Disorders, PTSD (like everyone in this has it), Anxiety, Probably OOC (Please tell me if I need to add anything to this)

About 1476 words in this including the intro this part and the end notes

If you feel like you need help or are going to do something overly drastic that could potentially harm yourself or others please contact

lifeline: 13 11 14

beyond blue: 1300 22 4636

or any other services similar that can help that apply to your country, region or area I am unsure as to whether or not these numbers will work in countries outside of Australia

These are just my headcanons that I've formed over the course of the past few months. If you feel I should add something or edit a part that I didn't do well on I will gladly take on any constructive criticism and edit this as i do not personally have expreience when it comes to most of these topics.

Lucifer

after the fall and the whole having to see his sister on the brink of death and having to hide the truth from his brothers he 100% has PTSD he hates talking about anything to do with it and has done as much as he can to erase certain things about the war from his mind and he 100% feels guilty about dragging his brothers down with him this caused him to try avoid them making up excuses to not have to leave dias side or offering to take on extra work for dia (leading him to overwork himself like he does in the og and nb timelines) and domino-ed into mammon having to deal with the others. he does eventually get better at managing his feelings and talking to his brothers and the other characters (as seen in the games from what i remember) but it'll always be to a certain extent before his stubborn pride takes hold.

Mammon

medicated depression, lucifer was like never there seeing as he would've been busy with lord diavolo leaving mammon to try to look after his five younger brothers as they all grieved whilst he was also grieving and trying to control his sin he had to (somewhat) pull his shit together somehow and it wouldn't help that his brothers are constantly referring to him as a scumbag and blaming him for stuff disappearing suddenly, mams only choice was to get diagnosed officially and start taking the meds he was given so he could help look after his family, (and if i remember right mamon says multiple times that he does care about his brothers and wants to help them) he has blocked out as much from the celestial war as he can the main parts still stick with him but over time the affect the memories of the war had on him faded, it will forever hurt him to remember just not as much as it did in those first few months/year.

Levi

chronic social anxiety the amount of demons talking about the fall and not trusting the brothers caused him to become more cautious when talking to others he focused only on the good memories from when he was in the celestial realm like watching anime with his brothers and sister re-watching said anime for days on end eventually he'd branch out and try something new just not whilst he was grieving. he just wants to feel the nostalgia/feel like he's somewhat honoring his sisters memory by watching the shows they used to watch together, he likes reliving the good memories with his sister thnking of the good things that happened rather than the bad. he does take therapy sessions through chats and such when he feels he needs them (more so in the past than in the 'present' idk what to call it)

Satan

as much as he hates to admit it at the beginning of his existence he had separation anxiety. lucifer disappearing and reappearing being the main trigger purely because he would've been confused (imagine spawning with memories and a feeling of wrath that's not yours seeing the guy who you spawned from and watching as said guy disappears leaving you with his younger brothers who are trying to grieve) like he despises lucifer sure but i feel like it would've been something like a baby duck and its mother (aka the first thing it sees) so whilst tan was constantly trying to hurt luci in the early months of his existence underneath that hatred was some kind of f-ed up 'as long as i stay here with my brothers i am looked after and cared for' or some kind of 'if i stay here long enough i can put these memories to stories and experiences' it's also kind of a rebellious teenager type thing like sure he rebels against lu but it's not necessarily pure hate (if it were a pure hate he would be trying to kill lucifer instead of mildly inconvenience him daily) other than that i don't think he would have depression or anything just PTSD from how he came to creation.

Asmo

as much as i don't want to say it i feel like he had an ED at some point after the fall along with depression the ED mainly from the sudden shock of change from chastity to lust feeling the constant need for some form of connection causing self insecurity to sink itself into him making him feel a strong need to look good on the outside to find people/demons to help satisfy that need for 'connection' sure he had his charm but i don't think he would've really known how to use it properly (i don't think any of the brothers would've had control of their sins like they do in the present timeline) and he would've felt bad making someone he didn't know to do that sort of thing against their will (back then he felt a lot more guilty, now he's just a shameless flirt).

Beel

PTSD he blames himself for her death and binge eats from both his sin and guilt he did eventually find a healthier outlet most likely being exercise knowing his sister wouldn't want him to feel so upset he doesn't try to block out the memories knowing that nothing can be done instead he tries to ignore how guilty he feels when his sister is brought up in conversation, he does his best to go through his normal daily routines he is probably profesionally diagnosed for depression (mammon probably got at least him and maybe belphie get diagnosed, he figured if anyone out of the brothers is gonna have a depressive episode of sorts after the fall it would've been them).

Belphie

PTSD, and as much as he hates it he does partially blame beel for the death of lilith the first few months he spent seething silently occasionally killing a few humans to extract his 'revenge' on them and ignoring his brothers unless it was beel. i also think he has a bit of depression, he lost his best friend and sister, had to watch her pretty much die in front of him and then didn't even get to say goodbye to her body when he fell because her body was gone (from what i know/remember) and he was the youngest other than lilith (again from what i know/remember) who fought on lucifer and liliths side of the war thats 100% gonna fuck someone up (like i mentioned with beel's mams tried to get him diagnosed as well he probably either declined or slept through the appointment).

Holy sugar that was a lot to type, I don't think I was quite able to write as well/freely as I normally would between making sure my facts are straight about certain mental illnesses and such but I hope I did some good in writing about them.

These are just my headcanons that I've formed over the course of the past few months. If you feel I should add something or edit a part that I didn't do well on I will gladly take on any constructive criticism and edit this.

None of this is any sort of recommendation or saying 'you should do this to fix your mental health' as I do not have personal experience when it comes to a lot of the things I talked about here nor am I a professional (getting a diagnosis is probably a good thing to do but it is purely what you believe is best for you) I did as much research as possible on how they affect different people (and did my best to transfer that into demons).

I went a bit darker than I would on a regular day/months of writing/typing for a fandom and I thoroughly apologize if this made anyone uncomfortable in any way but there was a warning at the start.

Again, if you feel like you need help or are going to do something overly drastic that could potentially harm yourself or others please contact

Lifeline: 13 11 14

Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636

or any other services similar that can help that apply to your country or area I am unsure as to whether or not these numbers will work in countries outside of Australia.

Have a good day/night/marshmallow (I promise the next thing I post isn't gonna be angsty)

its just a hop skip and a jump to the masterlist

[attorney-anon]

Hey, I’m a law student and I’m also autistic and ADHD and I was wondering if you have any tips for working in law as a neurodivergent person? I love my course and I can’t wait to work but the 85% unemployment statistic really scares me.

This is a long answer, so I'm going to cut it for the sake of mobile users. I do link some products below; I'm not getting paid, and I'm only linking them because they honestly work for me. Also, as a caveat, a lot of this advice assumes that you're American and/or working in-person at a private law firm; unfortunately, that's my only experience other than a month doing part-time intake for my regional legal aid service.

The biggest hurdle you will meet is the bar exam*: you need a study buddy who does not have ADHD and can help keep you on track. Don't study separately then meet up; do things like watching lecture videos together and keeping pace with one another in person. I'm not ADHD myself, but my best friend and forever study partner is, and she struggled to self-start.

Buy a bar prep course. This is not the time to be a scrooge; don't buy Kaplan just because it's cheaper (it also sucks). Barbri and Themis are both good - of these, use whichever you can get for cheapest or, if the costs are comparable, use Barbri if structure gives you comfort and use Themis if you need some control over the order in which you do things. Also use Themis if humor engages you; the Property and Contracts lecturers are hilarious. Stick to your bar prep program, but be gentle with yourself if you fall behind pace - realistically, you need to get through all the topics at least once, but you don't have to do every practice MPT, every practice essay, and every practice MBE quiz. Use the same study techniques that got you through law school. IMO, useful supplemental tools include the Critical Pass flashcards (get them used if possible, or get a referral code from somebody) and the Finz Multistate Method guide. Do your best to treat the bar exam as a game - because it is one.

There's a strategy for every section, and you should practice these strategies. For the MBE, use the Finz method - it works. For the MEE, or any other essay exam, use IRAC - and make up the R if you need to. The UBE, and most state bar exams, are graded such that you do get more points for knowing the rule, but you can still get points if you make up a reasonable-sounding rule and then apply it correctly. For the MPT, just throw in as many case and rule cites as possible. Try to cite every document you're given.

Join a bar prep FB group if you use FB; I was in Themis Memes for Should-Be-Studying Teens, but I know there's a Barbri group too. I found that being able to laugh at my bar prep course made it less miserable to do it. Don't be afraid to turn the videos on 2x or 0.5x speed - or faster or slower as needed. Some of the Themis lecturers talk to slowly that we went up to 3x; one of them talks so fast I had to slow him down.

Practice for the test in as many different environments as you can. I took the 2020 Pandemic Bar, so my bar was different than standard (I took it in a hotel room with my back to the door and proctors patrolling the hallways, it was mildly traumatizing fun), but I highly recommend getting used to noise while you're taking the test. Your ADHD/Autism hyperfocus will help here - make the bar exam your hyperfixation to the extent possible.

Once you pass the bar exam, your next hurdle will be the job search. You are going to have to mask for interviews, there's just no getting around it, but how much you mask will depend on your area of law. Big Law firms and intense, litigation-focused practice areas (e.g., business lit or criminal law) will expect you to be gregarious, friendly, and charming from the get-go; less litigation-focused practice areas (e.g., probate or family law) will often have more tolerance for quieter, less aggressive types.

Do not panic if you wind up at a less-than-favorable firm on your first or even your second job; a lateral shift between firms won't kill your resume as long as you can give a tactful reason you left (e.g., "I found that I prefer to focus on X instead of Y," or "I found that I had more opportunities to explore X at Y firm, and I am interested in focusing on X"). It is not normal to cry every day after work. It is not normal to routinely have panic attacks in the bathroom.

Once you have a job, billing is going to be difficult unless you gamify it. I use the Finch self-care app, so I have a task at the end of every week to make sure I have billed my time. My friend rewards herself for every day she bills by buying herself a new pen. Some people thrive off of timers (MyCase and Clio are popular case management software programs; both have timers built-in), but if nothing else, simply note when you start tasks and when you finish them by sending e-mails to yourself (or others, if relevant) at the end of every task. If your case management software can integrate with your e-mail (MyCase can integrate with Outlook, for instance), then use that to tag outgoing e-mails so you can be sure each one gets billed.

Outside of Big Law or intense practice areas, very few people bill 8 hours per day - a lot of the work you do will be non-billable, but also you will suffer from exhaustion or burnout if you try to bill 8 hours per day (my minimum is 20 hours per week, which is just 4 hours a day). You also will usually have some discretion in billing - use that to make yourself feel better if inattention issues make something take longer than you feel is fair. As for billing enough, if you find that you are most productive outside of work hours, find a firm that will let you access client files offsite - work at home if they'll let you.

I do a lot of my best billing either in the mornings right when I get to work or at 10:00 at night. That's okay so long as you take breaks during the workday (I watch a lot of TikTok during my breaks, but I also fiddle with various online games and such); you'll need mental rest to reset between cases. If you struggle with task-switching, use a break to help reset your focus. I strongly recommend setting an alarm for yourself during breaks so that time blindness doesn't derail you. Make your alarm kind of annoying; something you won't just mindlessly ignore.

Let yourself hyperfocus on things; all of that time you spend researching and drafting and correcting and perfecting that motion or brief is billable, and it's also good practice of law - your client and your partner will appreciate your thoroughness, and the judge will almost never hate it (some judges prefer brevity, but I've never had a judge upset at me for wordiness).

I also recommend getting apps that can automate things for you; I use Espanso to make my life easier by having easy-to-type shortcuts for common phrases and information (e.g., the current date, my bar card number, my work e-mail address, etc.). You can customize these things to make sense to your own brain - your process doesn't have to work for anyone but you. Similarly, I use macros in Word to make drafting go faster by letting buttons do all my formatting for me.

Excel sheets make excellent task lists because you can split them up by case, and set them up to highlight things (e.g., today's date) automatically. Most firms will have some kind of "docket meeting" where everyone goes over the status on each case - some people prefer handwritten notes (my best friend does), some people prefer digital notes (I have an excel workbook I use). Find a method that reduces distractions but lets you keep up with the flow of conversation.

On the topic of technology, if your firm provides a computer for you, or if your firm will provide accessories to supplement your own computer, push to have multiple monitors - I use my own laptop, but my boss provides monitors and I have two plus my laptop screen. It is WAY easier to keep up with billing if you can keep your time entry software open and visible on one of your screens.

You will be spending a lot of time in your office; make it comfortable. Once you are making enough to get by, invest in a good office chair (that you own, so you can take it with you if you leave the firm) and some basic office supplies that you like, such as a post-it note dispenser (mine is a cat!). My office chair is designed to let me sit cross-legged - I highly recommend having an office chair that matches your most comfortable sitting style. Having some things that are yours will make any future moves less awkward. I also strongly, strongly recommend getting some simple and quietish fidget toys - I have several spinners, wacky tracks, tangles, and clicky fidgets in one of my desk drawers, amongst others, to help me self-stim, as well as a sensory sticker on my desk pad (on the linked set, I have the rough version of the bottom middle sticker, the rainbow finger labyrinth one).

For me, I find that actual litigation requires scripting. Whether it's an oral argument or just a temporary orders hearing, I typically have every word I intend to say written down as much as I can (re-direct examination or re-cross examination can't be scripted before the day of, but I usually at least scrawl a summary of the question I need to ask as I'm taking notes). I don't necessarily read from it, and sometimes I veer off-script, but there is a specific comfort in having the words scripted out. On the few occasions I have ad-libbed things, I find that I come off less authoritative and confident, which gives the judge the impression that I am guessing. I also find comfort in having a copy of the code I need (which is always the Texas Family Code for me) on-hand at the counsel table. You are allowed to tell the judge you'd like to consult the statute when the judge asks you a question.

I also find that, for courtroom litigation, it's worthwhile to make sure your court clothes are comfortable. Courtrooms in my area are universally a little too warm, so I have a linen blazer that breathes and a variety of shell tops that don't have sleeves. I also have bad ankles, so I wear exclusively flats despite the fact that I am less than 5 feet tall. For me, heat sensitivity is a part of my sensory issues so I am all about setting myself up for success. It's also worthwhile to bring extra water bottles; at my firm (we are almost all ND in some regard), the standard is 2 per attorney and 1 for each support staff, then 1 for the client.

For out-of-court days, even "business" can be comfortable if you're a creative shopper. My last firm required business attire, though not necessarily courtroom attire. I wore a lot of dresses to stay cool, and a solid-color dress in a modest cut paired with a black blazer (which you can remove when you're just working in your office) almost always makes the cut. For those who don't like or can't wear dresses, comfortable slacks and a modest blouse or dress shirt, paired with a blazer, also works. My current firm only requires business casual for client meetings, courtroom attire for court, and otherwise as long as we cover our shoulders and don't wear shorts, we're good to go. I use a cardigan to cover my shoulders when I'm outside my office, as most of my blouses are sleeveless. It's worthwhile to invest in a good office sweater anyway; I like a thin t-shirt material cardigan for me, but my officemate uses a pullover knit sweater. Do what's comfortable.

Office meetings, or even court hearings, can sometimes get loud and overstimulating - buy you some Flare Audio Calmer ear inserts, they really do help take some of the 'sharpness' off of the noise. I also recommend a playlist that contains binaural beats (assuming you like them) or colored (white, brown, pink, etc) noise and a solid pair of ANC headphones or earbud, depending on your preference (the linked products are far from the only options, they're just reasonably-priced options that I know work; I personally use first-gen Airpod Pros). If you don't like binaural beats or white noise, instrumentals of pop songs are also excellent.

You can also get phone apps that layer binaural beats over your music - I find that it sometimes helps me calm down when I'm close to a meltdown, though I personally feel worse at the lower frequencies (I usually stay around the alpha-beta frequency line, but ymmv). I think there are probably also some apps for colored noise over your music, but I haven't looked. If you haven't before, I recommend experimenting with binaural beats and/or colored noise - I find that they can help calm down some of the staticky feeling I get from overstimulation.

Offices also sometimes involve other sensory dangers - like, for instance, food texture issues (another big one for me). You can often get out of things like that by simply explaining that the food doesn't agree with you, or that you're not very hungry - or, if your boss knows that you have sensory issues (mine knows I'm autistic), you can just quietly explain that it's a sensory problem and you have it under control. Keep some safe snacks in your office. You can avoid alcohol, if you're picky about it or just don't like it, by explaining that you're not in the mood to drink (or that you don't drink, period) and that you'll stick to soda/tea/water/whatever. Only major assholes will push past that.

Most coping mechanisms for sensory issues can be justified with "I don't feel good" or "I have a headache."

If your office chair hurts your back, get up and walk around. You are not in elementary school; at most firms, you can step out and just let your coworkers know where'/how to find you, and when you'll be back.

For intra-office and extra-office communications, if you have any doubts about the quality of the communication, you can put it in writing afterwards. A quick e-mail saying, "Okay, so this is my understanding of X, please let me know if I've misunderstood anything or if anything changes" is a good CYA to cover any communication difficulties; don't use idioms or shorthand in these e-mails - actually spell out exactly what you think happened, or what you think you've been asked to do.

If you're worried about your tone in written communications, Chat GPT is good at doing a first draft. It can also do a first draft of your attorney bio, if you're asked to write it yourself. Tell it the message you want to convey, and the tone in which you need it said. For instance, if you need to convey to a pro se opposing party that your world does not revolve around them, but you want to do it professionally, you might tell Chat GPT, "Write a professional e-mail to my opposing party conveying that my world does not revolve around them and that I will get to them when I get to them." That won't give you a perfect e-mail, but it gives you an idea of how to set the tone. Never trust any citation the thing gives you, but you can also use it to simplify complex thoughts for motions that you need to be simpler.

Law practice is also emotionally draining. Take the time to cry if you need to, or to go outside or into a breakroom and breathe.

Essentially, working in law when you're ND means finding tools to help you. It's definitely doable (as I said, most of my current firm is ND), but you'll need to find coping mechanisms to soothe yourself. If you've gotten into law school, I think it's clear that you're competent enough to work. The trick is not burning yourself out entirely, which I hope the above can help with.

* - This is not and never will be an endorsement of bar exams as a measure of competence for new attorneys. The bar exam is a racist and classist institution born from the desire of old white men to keep their good-ol'-boys club exclusive. Fuck the NCBE and abolish bar exams nationwide.

[outofangband]

Love, love, love the birds worldbuilding in Himring.

I've actually been digging through links looking for birds that occupy Nan Elmoth and the surrounding area - Himlad, northern Estolad, the banks of the Celon.

Any thoughts about the flying critters living around there?

I’ll start with Himlad!

Flora, fauna, geography and environment masterlist

Himlad was a realm in Eastern Beleriand, bordered on the West by the river Aros and on the East, its tributary, Celon. It means ‘cool plain’ in Sindarin and was described simply as a cold region, likely due to its proximity to the March and thus to the Iron Mountains, the cold fronts of which extend throughout the surrounding regions. 

I have imagined it as a steppe environment with an ecology similar to Mongolia. We have little information on environment other than the description of cold but some speculation can be done due to the habitat and through looking at similar real habitats, mostly in Northern Europe and temperate parts of Asia as well as parts of North America which Tolkien was inspired by the prairies in (source: The Flora of Middle Earth)

As always I include world building notes at the end so it’s not just a list of species! And as always please consider the list incomplete! There are so so many birds and I often go back to add more. Feel free to request a more specific prompt to focus on or a more specific family of birds

In the plains and steppe: tawny pipit (migratory, traveling west in the winter), David’s snowfinch, brown accentor, Siberian stonechat (also found in shrubs), rosy starling, swan geese, steppe partridge, pallas’s sandgrouse, great bustard, common cuckoo (migratory), cornrail (migratory, avoids the more arid parts), bearded vulture, crested lark, golden eagle, steppe eagle, imperial eagle, grey faced buzzard, ring necked pheasant, hazel grouse, black grouse, blue rock thrush, common quail, horned owls, gray partridge, desert warbler

Roosting in the sparse trees and shrubs: Yellow browed bunting, common rosefinch, fieldfare, stock dove, common nightjar, little owl, pine bunting

River shores: snow bunting (migratory), red necked crane (migratory), greater painted snipe, osprey, coturnix quail, grey heron, hen harrier, white throated dipper, bank swallow

Other: fork-tailed swift (migratory, mainly aerial), white headed duck, house sparrow, brambling (migratory), song thrush (migratory), black billed caper, northern wren

World building notes:

-Hunting with eagles and other birds of prey is more common than in the other Fëanorian realms (though most utilize birds at least sometimes). Golden and steppe eagles are used primarily by Celegorm and his loyal servants; these are huge and beautiful birds whose use is in some ways a boast of the skill of their handlers

-Celegorm’s knowledge of the language of birds is highly utilized for the defensive and offensive projects of Himlad. Though his followers do not for the most part have this gift they are highly skilled in using tracks, traces and conditions to understand the presence of local birds and the implications thereof. They know what to make of the stray tail feathers of a steppe partridge versus the presence of molt. They know the difference between the tracks of

Of course this applies to other creatures besides birds but as this post is about birds…

-Grouse and quail are sometimes kept for meat and eggs though different species of quail then are kept by the Marchwardens of Doriath. Some of the species are brought from Estolad, Ossiriand or Western Beleriand. The birds are housed in large open pens with small nesting boxes. 

-There are also domestic species of chicken, peacock and quail like birds that are kept for similar reasons. Hybrid species, sometimes with native species, occur naturally and through planned breeding projects during the Long Peacd

-The camouflage of steppe creatures including birds is often used in the fashion of Himlad’s soldiers.

-The various sections of archers among the army and scouts are distinguished by varying types of feathers used in their arrows. For example, Swan goose feather is used for the scouts that patrol the borders and rivers, swift feathers are used among the smaller more specialized groups and golden eagle feathers are reserved for the archers who will be first in the lines of offensive movements.

-Game birds are hunted for meat though all parts are used. Bird bones are actually highly utilized by the host of Himlad, in jewelry and headwear as well as whistles and other tools.

As always please feel free to ask more!

[spanishskulduggery]

Sorry if you’ve answered this before, but I wanted to ask- have you ever studied abroad/taught English abroad, like in Spain or South America? I’ve been thinking lately and I have an opportunity to teach English in Spain for a bit (moreso be a speaking partner for students, not really “teach” lol) if I apply and pursue it. My cousin did it and loved it so much she never came back and lives there now in Spain, but I’ve also heard other stories of people being lonely and it being a daunting and stressful thing being in a country that primarily speaks Spanish without knowing people or having family around, and that they regretted the impulsive decision. I really don’t know what to do with my Spanish degree, and this could be a good opportunity for my shy self to be forced out of my comfort zone and really learn and thrive. I’ve done nothing but college in my 20’s or work. But also…I can’t afford rent in the US and live with my parents (while paying rent and bills) so living on my own in another foreign country on top of all of that sounds terrifying. But I can’t stop thinking about it. The decision of course comes down to me, but any tips or advice or stories would be appreciated! Sorry for the rambling lol

I wish I had better answers for you but I've never studied abroad but I do know that studying/teaching abroad is a very popular choice

You at least got a Spanish degree so it's not like you're starting from zero, but I think it might be easier if you asked other people who had studied abroad and people who live in Spain

(I want to say @langsandlit may have better answers than me when it comes to what to expect with Spain and that whole process in general)

Personally I think if you have the opportunity you should go for it. It's not like you can't come back if you try it out and it's not for you. Chances are there are other people in your position or expats in communities that you can reach out to - though obviously do speak Spanish if you go there don't just be in a little English-speaking bubble.

To me it sounds like you're leaning towards yes but you don't know how to actually do it yet or you're scared of the logistics of it all. I wish I followed this advice more, but fear isn't a good reason not to do something.

To me it sounds like if there were a clear checklist, you'd consider it more. I wish I could offer more info on it myself, but I have no experience in this area

Depending on the job, it may be you have a place to live planned for you. Maybe not. Some people work as au pairs, or go to study at universities and also teach while they're there.

I wish I knew more concrete answers to give you, part of it does depend on the actual city in Spain though since there's a definite culture to different regions/cities that makes them different

This also may be a discussion to have with your parents as far as what you want to do, and talking it over. If you have any of your old teachers' contact info, you might be able to ask what they think as far as studying abroad or getting information from them; it's a little bit different when you've already graduated but still worth asking if it's something that interests you

And same applies for Latin America, though obviously more countries, different accents, and much more varied cultures

-

Followers?

Any advice or ideas? I know some of y'all have studied abroad

[peachypede]

✈️ 💔🍸 for Pecha andddd 💯🐉 🎮 for Aman?

Ask meme is here!

✈️ AIRPLANE — does your oc like traveling, or do they consider themselves a more homey person?

Traveling is very nostalgic for Pecha. Most of her childhood consisted of going on research trips with her dad and camping out in the wilderness to study bugs. Name a forest in any region and she’s probably been there. In her recent years she’s become more of a homebody, but she still very much enjoys traveling when the opportunity comes up.

Plus she didn’t get to go to many cities during her travels with her dad, so she loves being able to check out shops.

💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits?

Anxious - Pecha has an anxiety disorder. She worries about almost anything and everything, especislly social interactions.

Obsessive - Her adhd brings hyper-fixation, which sometimes centers around people. With how romantic minded she is, it can become accidentally overbearing.

Pessimistic - Pecha fears about the worst case scenarios that she often perceives them to be the only scenario that can happen. Someone gave her a funny look? They probably hate her, she must have done something to upset them, etc.

🍸 COCKTAIL GLASS — what is your oc's favorite alcoholic drink, if they can drink?

Since her anxiety gives her IBS, she tries to keep her drinks mild. Beer, red/white wine, whiskey, vodka, and gin tend to be low-FODMAP (aka the carbohydrates in alchohol that can trigger digestive symptoms) so she tends to stick with them. She’s also a lightweight so…she tries to limit things to one drink only.

Gin and tonic is her go to drink usually at bars, despite being teased occasionally that it’s an old man drink. It’s really the best thing for her stomach. Since beer is usually the casual party drink, it’s easier for her to fit in there. Rarely does she go for anything stronger though.

💯 HUNDRED POINTS SYMBOL — share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

- Aman was the son of a crime lord in Sinnoh before the accident that left left him orphaned and without his right limbs. If that accident hadnt happened, Aman probably would have grown up in a gang. (And this is why he was sent out of country to be adopted in order to make sure he was safe from rival gang members)

- The carefree attitude he has is really a front. He harbors a lot of anger inside that he releases during his job. He hates people he loves seeing that part of himself.

- He actually wants to have a family someday. He’s a sentimental guy deep down and there’s nothing that tugs his heart strings more than thinking of settling down someday with someone and having kids.

🐉 DRAGON — what is your oc's favorite mythical creature?

Since this is the pokemon world, I’m guessing this applies to mythical/legendary pokemon.

Aman’s favorite is Arceus but also that’s funny because he’s religious so he’s basically saying “God is my favorite”.

After Arceus, it’s probably Azelf. Aman just felt like he had a personal connect with it when he was a child.

🎮 VIDEO GAME CONTROLLER — what are three of your oc's favorite hobbies?

- Reading is a big favorite, especially classics. Also just reading anything absurd or crazy. He finds weird books funny. (Badly written romance novels are good)

- Painting/drawing. He was raised by artists and they would consider it a tragedy if Aman didnt know how to paint and draw as well. He’s not good at drawing humans or pokemon, so he sticks with plants and humans objects.

- Hanging out with people that aren’t related to his assignments. It’s nice to not have to worry about every single thing he’s saying. (Although he keeps the whole being an Interpol Agent thing quiet still of course)

[bewise-in]

15 Expert Tips on How to Apply for Scholarships

 Originally published on: https://www.bewise.in/articles-blogs/expert-tips-on-how-to-apply-for-scholarships

Finding the best scholarship program may be the place to begin in securing the future of your child's education. While the scholarship process might overwhelm you as a parent and child, especially if you are a first-time scholar, it is wise to learn some expert tips on how to apply for scholarships. From being a parent whose child starts schooling to being a teenager reaching the brink of high school, knowing how to apply for scholarships is a requirement to discovering funds to finance education. To make this journey easier, here is a detailed guide with expert tips to apply for scholarships that sets you apart.

Why Apply for Scholarships Early?

In most families, scholarships are no longer just a good thing but a means of assisting one's child to acquire knowledge. The fact is that the earlier you start, the higher your opportunities are in encountering the best scholarship programs that would fit your child's special skills, interests, or aspirations. You do not need to await college or even high school since there are already many opportunities waiting for you as early as kindergarten. Many scholarships also offer multi-year support, which means one has a greater chance of securing funds for several years by applying ahead.

1. Apply Early

Time is one of your biggest assets when it comes to applying for scholarship programs. By starting early you allow sufficient time to research the best scholarship programs that suit your child's needs. Early planning also ensures that when an appropriate scholarship is found, you are fully prepared with any required documents, such as transcripts or letters of recommendation. For younger children, preparing early affords time to develop a well-rounded profile using extracurricular activities and volunteer work, which are essential components in a growing number of scholarship programs.

2. Research Thoroughly

The very first scholarship you come across could seem attractive, but thorough research may yield even more suitable scholarships for your child. There are plenty of online sources available, including our own and which allow filtering based on age, academic performance, extracurricular activities, and even background. You may not overlook the local option, either. Many organisations, businesses, and local governments offer scholarships to students living in their districts.

While researching, understand that various scholarships focus on different things. Some will consider academic excellence; others, leadership, community service, or even some sporting or artistic talents. It is very important to make sure that the scholarship qualities are aligned with what your child is good at and passionate about to ensure the best chance possible.

3. Requirements

Each scholarship has its requirements, whether on academic merits, athletic achievements, financial needs, or particular interest in a profession. Analyse the eligibility criteria for each scholarship before applying and make sure that your child will qualify for it. Some require a certain GPA or community service hours, while others target students based on specific regional or demographic factors. It will save you much time when you consider the needs and requirements beforehand, and then commit efforts to the proper opportunities.

Pay attention to any potential age-specific requirements as well. Scholarships, for example, targeted at more youthful children may place greater emphasis on potential, character, or background than for high school students, whose applications are often made upon traditional academic achievements.

4. Tailor Each Application

While it may be easy to copy-paste one application into multiple scholarship opportunities, this is not the best course. Various scholarships have different goals and values, so should your application. Therefore, make sure that you specially tailor the personal statements or essays of your child to the goals and values he or she is applying to. That not only shows interest but also makes sure that your child's application stands out as in the cutthroat race of applications used for selection processes.

For example, if the scholarship requirement is based on community involvement, centre more about your child's volunteer hours or leadership roles in school organisations. In case it is merit-reward, then centre more on their success at school and their knowledge and intelligence development.

5. Monitor the Deadlines

While missing a deadline forms part of the most common reasons for failing to land a scholarship, many families easily become worried as they strive to undertake so many applications during a single period. All these scholarships that catch your eye must have a timely timeline or calendar of application deadlines. Using applications like Trello, Google Calendar, or even a simple spreadsheet would help keep you organised to mark down all those important dates and tasks which will keep you updated on all the golden opportunities which won't slip past you.

6. Extracurricular Activities

Most scholarship committees do not search only for good grades; they are rather looking for well-rounded students who have true leadership, creativity, and commitment outside the classroom. Drive your child to participate in sports, clubs, volunteer projects, or even creative hobbies. These activities not only contribute to the development of their character but also build a strong case to win them the scholarship.

Ensure that such activities are developed on application. In more junior-level students, involvement in school dramas, art exhibitions, or local drives can show a person taking the initiative to get involved with the world around them.

Read full article.

[anon-e-has-a-tmblr]

Well now that all the sentimental stuff are out of the way, let's talk about the weirdest stuff I've experienced since starting T 5 years ago.

(in case you dont know, T is refered to Testosterone. I personally use a skin oinment but these stuff could also apply to injections, from what I heard).

My body hair. I have become the haoriest man in my entire family, from all sided. It's at the point where 95% of dust in my appartment is my own body hair. It's quite rediculous xD I mean, I could understand the extra hair growth on my shoulders, where I place the skin oinment jell, but I got hair all over my body. And it doesn't seem to stop any time soon xD

My body odor changed. Assuming I'm not stinky after a day of manual labor, my body odor had become more bareble? Now this one is something I heard to the contrary. People told me their body odor had a "punch" added, making it stronger. But me? It became a bit sweeter, for some reason??? And if we talk about body odor, I did finally understood why teenagers use so much axe body spray. I personally didn't use it more than 4 times total in the last 5 years, all of which were used in the summer when I ran out of my usual doedaraunt and the store where I was at that time carried only axe.

My fashion style. Which actually didn't change at all since I was 14. The only realy chamge in my wardrobe that I had to do was after top surgery, when I finally realized how oversized my shirts were. I got rid of about 70% of all shirts that I ever owned up to that point, most were donated to thrift store and some were thrown away. Since many of these shirts weren't used much, they were in perfect condition. And of course, I washed everything before donating. That's just what I do when donating stuff.

My shoe size chamged slightly. Now, this one is kinda to be expected but I've seen only 2 other people talk about it. In my particular case, I went half a size up (from 40.5 to 41). I noticed it when I needed dark shoes for a side hustle 3 years ago, and I realized I can no longer wear a pair of my mom's black sneakers that she let me wear on occations (since she didn't wear them anymore by that time). In the past that pair fit me quite alright, and if I was wearing think socks it felt like it's a hit loose on me. And then when I tried wearing them 3 years ago - I knew they're too small. What a weird phenomenon!

Heat tolerance. Or more specifically, the lack there of lol. Now, in my case it also could be age related, since I do remember as a child being comfortable at any weather, and even wearing hoodies during the nights of August (back then we lived in the plain region of the country, where nights are sometimes as warm as the day). Now? I melt every spring, and usually I wear a coat only during the rainy days of winter. Now, driving a motorcycle has changed my perseption of heat/cold again, so this one is still a developing experience.

Skin health (as much as it can be called that lol) during my military years and after, my skin was very dry. How dry, you may add? I'd accidentally bump into people with my elbow and they'd ask me why I scratched them in the arm. I mean, I got chemical burns on my face from skin care products XD and I also developed an allergic reaction to a chemical preservative that gets weirder as time passes, but that's just another point against my skin. Now, it's a common knowledge that testosterone makes your skin oily, just like estrogen makes your skin smoother. So it seems like that addition of oils to my skin made it so, that now it's just considered "dry".

Relevant to the point above, my head became extra oily. My head was always oily, I even joked about it with my mom in that regard, that my head just took the oil of my entire body and left it scraps lol. And although it has since settled down, for the first year I'd wash my hair before bed, and in the morning on my way to class I'd feel like my head was dunked into an oil vat. It was rediculous and very uncomfortable, and some day I even washed my head twice. Before starting, I'd wash my hair 2-3 times a week. One think that didn't cjamge in that regard though, is the fact that for the past decade I no longer use hair conditionare. After all, my hair is naturally so oily that conditionare would just cause it to feel greesy.

Cooking. Although more relevant to me no longer living with my parents, early on I found myself cooking meals more often. Now, when I was in middle school I went to a professional cookong class and graduated with a cooking certification. I know my way around the kitchen. But for some reason I hated standing in the kitchen and cooking food. The hatred was so severe, that the pantry would be full of goods and the kitchen would be clean and ready to be used, and yet I'd still order out and eat outside. In a drastic contrast, last summer about a month after I moved out, I caught myself saying to myself "I love cooking". Talking about charecter development xD now granted, that change was gradual, and I would cook at my parent's house on occations. But those would be rare and myy dad would even note the occation, since it happened so rarely. But still.

Oinment vs injections: truth be told, I did try to switch to injections. I started with skinnoinment gel, and about 2.5 years in I tried with a doctor's supervision to switch to injections once every 3 months. You see, here we have only 2 types of injections: monthly i jections and quarterly injections. I switched to the latter, since I was a couple of years in and that was the usual course for most guys. My body did not approve that change, to put it mildly xD. At first it got super hyped, but instead of saving and releacing testosterone slowly and gradually, my body was using everything in the first couple of weeks and the rest of the time I'd be left all drained and very much discontented. After a couple of months like that we decided tbat for now, I'll stay with the skin oinment. To be honest, that drastic change was not expected, and even my doctor was shock by this.

That's it for now! Feel free to ask me more about this whole jurney

[loneisland]

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 — leaving your country won’t solve your problems they said, and yet here you are, in… wait, where are you even?

this issue contains fem! / feminine coded reader + reader wears makeup (luna) + chronic non-house leaver (rin) + jealousy / sort of cheating (leonardo luna) + stinking huge amount of money (reo) + a tiny little bit of objectifying (luna)

featuring itoshi rin, itoshi sae, leonardo luna, mikage reo, chigiri hyoma

author’s note this is me formally outing myself as a leonardo luna lover sry… he’s just so hot 😔 sorry for the wait! more at the end of the post

ITOSHI RIN — JAPANESE COUNTRYSIDE

Rin’s idea of a perfect trip with you rhymes with calm, practical, and smart. Not too far, but still gives the perfect amount of change of scene, it’s clear nothing can beat a nice little ryokan where the sun filters through the window. Plus, the owner, a nice old lady, offered you a traditional teapot from the region!

Her grand-daughter won’t stop running around chasing rom to get him to play with her — he’s asked for your help multiple times already, but you don’t really feel like helping. After all, you’d be lying if you said seeing rin play hide and seek with the little girl didn’t make your heart swell just a tiny bit.

Of course, it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that rin hates planes and the airport. He just likes trains better! There’s nothing strange about it, everyone’s got their own tastes, right?

ITOSHI SAE — SPAIN

He supposes he should make you visit the place that’s propelled him into the starting blocks of football’s new generation. And maybe also a few restaurants he’s been to that serves really good meals he thinks you’ll like. There’s also a shopping district full of your favourite brands so just maybe, they’ll make a quick stop there. Oh, and, turns out there’s an exposition going on that shows off a few things you really like, so maybe that too… come on, don’t look at him like that, he didn’t know you wanted to go, he just got the tickets for free from a fan.

Besides, this is only for the second day, your first day here is reserved for the city landmarks, so don’t get too excited just yet, alright?

What? You want to go meet his teammates? Jeez, maybe he should have left you at the airport to fend for yourself after all…

LEONARDO LUNA — BRAZIL

Showing off his altinha skills at the beach to make sure a bunch of girls check him out to make you jealous? Check. Keep going to the point where the jealousy consumes your entire being? Also check. Stare back at the girls so that you can’t help but come up to him and kiss the daylights out of him to keep those girls where they are? Definitely check. Yeah, that’s what he calls a vacation… (Which is not the case for the mothers who are desperately trying to cover their children’s eyes, which eventually makes you draw back and assess the situation you got yourself into)

He eventually feels bad for a little, thinking that maybe, getting you jealous wasn’t the best way to get physical affection from you.

At least that’s what he thought until you decide to go back to the hotel to get ready to go out again, and he gets to watch you carefully apply lipgloss in front of the mirror with your body bent over the sink… Yeah, this is definitely not stopping him from doing this again tomorrow.

MIKAGE REO — MONACO

What else to expect from the one boy who’s literally got money up his ass? Nothing less than the absolute best for you, no sir. Staying at the Ritz just to go ahead and spend lunch at Chez Hortense with an unforgettable beach view at Cap Ferret, go back to Monaco to enjoy the hotel’s private seaside perks and amenities, just to end the day at a bar in St-Raphaël with Reo’s family friends. The life.

You’re exhausted by the time your back hits the premium mattress at a little past midnight, and you wonder if you’re going to have to do all of this again tomorrow.

Then again, if it’s not something you want to follow through with again tomorrow, don’t worry, Reo’s got it all planned out. As much as he likes going out, he’ll order room service to get you eggs Benedict with fresh salmon on the side for lazy mornings, and if you’re not hungry, lounging in the hotel suite the entire day is as much of an option as anything else.

CHIGIRI HYOMA — ITALY

How about a cosy little Airbnb for this one? Chigiri is definitely naturally irritable, so a tourist hotspot or a busy city is out of the question. Torino landscapes and a nice breakfast made up of the groceries you gathered on a hurry before closing time yesterday definitely make up for a better vacation than he could ever imagine.

Hair care dates in northern Italy surrounded by plaids and pillows sounds like the quite the dream, no? Hair oils and lengthening treatments, masks and scalp protecting creams scattered around the floor, and you feel that somehow, you must’ve died, because how else did you get to paradise?

Eventually, these sessions will be followed up by an outing in the old city center to eat up some of the best pasta in the city (and show off your hair— but neither of you will admit to that).

author’s note part 2 as I said, summer has been crazy for me and I literally did not have time to check in 🥹 sorry for that! I will try to be more active but as you probably know, uni has just started again… anyways, enjoy!!

REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE REALLY APPRECIATED!

@loneisland 2025 - I do not authorize any reposting translating or modifying of my content on any platform

[subhrajblog]

Big Fat Indian Wedding

A grand Indian wedding is a dazzling spectacle of culture, tradition, and opulence, embodying the rich heritage and vibrant celebrations characteristic of Indian society. These weddings are renowned for their elaborate ceremonies, extravagant decorations, and the sheer scale of their festivities. Here’s a glimpse into what makes a grand Indian wedding so special:

1. The Grand Setting

A grand Indian wedding often takes place in luxurious venues such as opulent banquet halls, majestic heritage properties, or high-end hotels. The venue is transformed into a breathtaking space with intricate decor, including lavish floral arrangements, stunning drapes, and elaborate lighting.

2. Elaborate Decorations

From the entrance to the reception area, every inch of the venue is adorned with elaborate decorations. This includes grand floral arrangements, ornate mandaps (wedding canopies), and beautifully designed stage setups. Themes and color schemes are carefully chosen to create a cohesive and awe-inspiring atmosphere.

3. Diverse Ceremonies

Indian weddings typically involve multiple ceremonies, each rich with tradition and significance. Key events include:

Engagement Ceremony: The formal announcement of the couple’s union, often marked by a small celebration or gathering.

Haldi Ceremony: A pre-wedding ritual where turmeric paste is applied to the bride and groom for auspiciousness and to enhance their glow.

Mehendi Ceremony: An event where henna is applied to the bride’s hands and feet in intricate patterns, often accompanied by music and dance.

Sangeet Night: A lively evening of music and dance, where families and friends come together to celebrate and perform.

4. Elegant Attire

The attire for a grand Indian wedding is often nothing short of spectacular. The bride might wear a richly embellished lehenga or saree, adorned with intricate embroidery and sparkling jewels. The groom’s attire could include a regal sherwani or a tailored suit, complemented by traditional accessories such as turbans, jewelry, and ornate footwear.

5. Sumptuous Cuisine

The wedding feast is a highlight, featuring a diverse array of dishes that reflect regional specialties and personal preferences. A grand Indian wedding offers multiple courses, including appetizers, main courses, and desserts. Special dietary needs are accommodated, and the food is often served in a buffet or plated with meticulous presentation.

6. Entertainment and Performances

Entertainment is a key element of grand Indian weddings. This may include live music performances, traditional dance routines, and even theatrical acts. DJs, dance floors, and interactive games also add to the celebratory mood, ensuring that guests are entertained throughout the event.

7. Grand Processions

The arrival of the groom, known as the baraat, is often a grand affair. Accompanied by a procession of family and friends, and sometimes mounted on a decorated horse or in a luxury vehicle, the groom’s arrival is marked by lively music, dancing, and celebratory rituals.

8. Memorable Moments

A grand Indian wedding is a celebration of love, family, and tradition. It’s filled with heartfelt moments, from the emotional exchange of vows to the joyful celebrations with family and friends. The wedding photos and videos capture these precious moments, preserving the memories for a lifetime.

9. Attention to Detail

From personalized wedding favors to meticulously planned seating arrangements, every detail is carefully considered. This attention to detail ensures that the wedding is not only grand but also unique and reflective of the couple’s personal style and preferences.

10. Cultural Richness

A grand Indian wedding is a vibrant showcase of Indian culture, with rituals and customs that vary across regions and communities. Each ceremony and tradition adds depth and meaning to the celebration, making it a rich tapestry of cultural heritage.

In essence, a grand Indian wedding is more than just a celebration; it’s a magnificent display of tradition, luxury, and joyous unity. It’s an experience that leaves lasting memories for everyone involved and is a testament to the beauty and grandeur of Indian cultural celebrations.

[oliviahallwriting]

Chapter 4

When Tom had applied to Loftman State the year before, he’d glanced at the graduation requirements. For some reason he needed at least one introductory humanities course to get a degree, even in landscape architecture. Kind of bullshit, he’d thought. Just a ploy to keep students paying for longer than they needed. It wasn’t like the classes were generally useful, either. Most of the classes in the category looked like one-way tickets to becoming the most obnoxious kind of person imaginable.

There had also been a few “history and culture” classes in the list, which were also niche, but definitely a better choice. He’d decided to take one of the Hispanic cultural classes in his winter term to get it out of the way. It’d be a breeze. His mom would have taught him some of it already, and besides, it’d be nice to get to his roots. 

That had been the plan, until he’d discovered, with only minutes to spare on the class-application site, that every Hispanic-culture class was across campus. More damningly, all of them met before nine in the morning. So he’d resigned himself to “Intro to Gender.” A lame and unnecessary subject, according to the pundits his abuelo watched, but at least it met at 11 and was only halfway across the school.

He’d been prepared to hate the class. But now, a few days into the course, Tom admitted to himself that he kind of…didn’t. Not that he’d say so to his family, of course. It was just that the subject was a little weirder than he’d expected. Sure, some of the vocabulary was clunky, and he’d had to tell himself that apparently internet teenagers hadn’t made it all up, but he powered through it. Soon enough, he’d started to save his gender readings for last, as a treat.

A few days before the party, Tom had raised his hand for the first time in the connected discussion section. The instructor had given a prompt about masculinity in Latin communities.

“So, my mom’s Colombian, and my dad’s white,” he’d started. “A few years ago, a lot of people on her side of the family were over for Christmas. It was a full house. It was also the first time my dad had met most of them. He got along okay, but he’s always been quiet, and I could tell he wasn’t super comfortable. A lot of people in the house, over for several days. It was kind of a lot; I don’t blame him. Anyway, one of those days, me and most of the guys were hanging out in the garage. We were talking about sports and shit. Cars, too, at least they were, and Colombian politics. Talking pretty crudely about ch—about women, I mean. And my dad was keeping up great. He was shooting the shit about all of it. Except for the sports, I’d never heard him talk that way. He’d only talked to me about girls, like, once. Later I caught him reading a website, some political site, and he confessed to me that he’d researched a lot of it the day before my mom’s family had arrived. He’d asked my mom what her family liked to talk about, and how. Regional Spanish slang and whatever. Even the stuff about the differences between Colombian and American girls, he’d apparently looked up on forums.”

The discussion lecturer had taken a moment before replying, and pointed to a phrase on the blackboard. Decades into the twenty-first century, and the discussion classes still used blackboards.

“So, you think your dad was code-switching?”

“I guess, sure, but he didn’t know the code already. Even some of the stuff he thinks is natural, like how to interact with women. He wasn’t confident enough to learn it on the fly. I don’t know, maybe he had to gas himself up to talk like they did. There were a few drinks involved.”

“Huh, interesting,” the lecturer replied. “Thanks for your contribution.”

That had all been the week before. Now it was the third Tuesday of the semester, and nine days to Thanksgiving. Tom swore he could feel it in the student body as he walked to his gender-studies lecture.

The professor strode back and forth on the stage, chatting to the front row of the lecture hall. The subject of the day had to be a personal favorite. 

The professor went by “Dr. Espinoza” and used “they” as a pronoun. It had taken several days for Tom to get the hang of it. For a while he’d had to imagine a class where he couldn’t see the professor, and imagined them as someone in a crowd who he couldn’t quite make out. But it had worked, and now he was reasonably confident that he wouldn’t insult them if he went to their office hours.

A slideshow projected on two screens on the back of the stage read “Gender Expression.” Tom looked at it blankly, having struggled through the material the night before. Not every reading for the class was interesting. After the third page describing gender identity and expression, he’d given up. At least his landscape-architecture readings had pictures and charts to break up the prose.

It hadn’t helped that he’d been distracted. Why would Vanessa think he was gay? Why would there have been an FBI agent around Ashman? And, if there was nothing to the email, why did Dr. Florence look startled when he read it, and why did those two girls in the lounge run away from him?

Dr. Espinoza started their lecture. Tom knew it was rude, but he took out his phone to read the email’s wording again. His mind was racing enough that there was no way he could focus anyway. It was either look at the probably-nothing email or deliberate on what Vanessa had gestured towards at the party, and that wasn’t happening.

“Find aid,” the message read. Tom hadn’t tried to find Kiyana since the office hour he’d had with his grandma. After class, he’d check out some science clubs. Social media, too. Basically all college chicks—women—were online somewhere.

Dr. Espinoza’s voice lilted into a question, and they called on someone near the back to answer.

The student cleared their throat. “Well, as a trans guy,” he started.

There weren’t many men in the class, trans or no. Unless that wasn’t what the guy had meant. Tom hadn’t ever understood where the phrase “trans man” meant someone was a man or woman or whatever. 

Tom looked behind him, curious, and heard a few of his classmates follow suit.

The student who replied definitely came across as a man, at least, with his style and haircut. He “performed” as a man, Tom supposed, trying to remember any of the lecture from the past ninety minutes. 

“Gender performativity is an okay idea, and it’s fine that people have a broader idea than the hegemonic binary model,” the student started. 

He looked decent, Tom decided. Had a charismatic way of speaking, too. If Tom were gayer he’d have called him a “twink”. Then the student paused, and looked down at a few of the students who’d turned around. His eyes briefly met Tom’s before moving on to the rest of the crowd. He kept talking, like he was giving a speech.

“But even gender spectrums shouldn’t be the end point in the conversation. It still leans into the idea that people are a combination of masculine and feminine, but we don’t even need to give them that much. Why call different facets masculine? Feminine? If gender abolition is our goal, we need to commit to it.”

Another student raised her hand, so Dr. Espinoza called on her to respond.

“Should it be our goal?” The girl asked.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” the dude said. “I don’t think dissolving the legal distinction to gender means people’s individual identities will change. All I’m saying is we don’t need to frame anything in gendered terms.”

“Some would say that this kind of thinking allows patriarchy to thrive.”

“I, uh,” the guy started, and faltered a little. “I’d imagine we can tackle that separately. Or maybe a broader view of gender would make it easier to oppose oppressive structures.”

“And if we can’t? If it doesn’t?”

“Then you’re implying that, what, men are biologically predisposed to oppress themselves and others? That’s wrong.”

There was a little murmur in the room. The girl who’d been arguing with the guy behind him sat down.

Dr. Espinoza nodded and turned to the student who’d been speaking. 

“So, without taking too much more time, because I know we’re almost done with class, what would you be proposing?”

“I, um, I’m not sure. It’s a hell of a battle, right? All I know is what a better world could look like, at the end of it. I guess we could start with education. Abolishing conversion therapy, too. Whatever supports fluid modes of being.”

With that, the guy sat down. The lecture ended, and students filed out from Tom’s row. He kept sitting, trying to parse what the student had talked about. He’d definitely sounded like he knew what he was talking about. 

Probably a humanities major, Tom thought, amused. How else would someone be that pretentious without having actual policy solutions?

The student who’d spoken left his row and walked down the column. Tom followed him out the building. The guy was pretentious, sure, but also kind of interesting, and Tom wasn’t about to let him escape. 

Tom caught the guy in the hall.

“Hey,” he started.

The other one looked up. He had intense, dark eyes, otherwise gentle features, and came across as simultaneously intense and gentle. It had to take a lot of effort to pull off both simultaneously, Tom thought, a little impressed in spite of himself. Just because he didn’t care much about appearances didn’t mean it wasn’t its own art.

And then he felt a little stupid, because he’d just had a class on gender performativity, and he was talking to someone who was trans. There might have been more at play than simple aesthetics.

“Hi, what’s up?” The guy said. “I think I’ve seen you in class before.”

Tom hadn’t, until a few minutes ago. It was a class of at least one hundred and fifty, and the lecture hall had balcony seating.

“I liked your answer,” Tom said. “Kinda profound or some…uh, something.” 

“Oh, that? Yeah, I don’t know. I just kept saying words.” He looked at Tom and cocked his head a little. “My name’s Jun, by the way.”

“Tom.”

They shook hands. It wasn’t that formal of a gesture, more of a sidelong, small motion from Jun as they walked down the hall. But Tom fumbled it a little; he hadn’t done the whole shake-hands-and-make-eye-contact thing since his job interviews the previous summer. To his knowledge, he’d never formally introduced himself to his high school friends.”

“You want to have lunch or something?” Tom asked. “I have an hour.”

Jun smiled. His eyes crinkled a little bit. “Yeah, totally. Have you tried the chili fries at the SIC?”

The SIC was the Student Information Complex. Tom had visited it only twice, once as a touring high schooler. The complex had several centers for various types of students, like those looking for scholarships, and those in work-study. He would’ve forgotten about the place after the tour, had his mom not pestered him to check it out a week into the school year. It had been a hassle, but he’d wrung a whole fifty dollars from admin for two hours of his time.

There might’ve been a few other rooms. No chili fries, though; he’d have remembered that.

“I didn’t know the SIC had chili fries.”

“Yeah, there’s a cafe next to the Quirby.”

Tom looked at him blankly.

“You know, the Queer and Intersectional Resources building.”

“That’s the Quirby?” Tom would’ve bet money that “queer” was a little too loaded to use in a building’s title.

“Yeah. It’s shorthand. For the acronym.”

“No, I get that. Never mind.”

“Because it’s inclusive.”

Tom didn’t reply for a bit, focusing instead on putting one foot in front of another. It was getting a little strange.

“Tom? You do know that that word ‘queer’ is inclusive, right?”

“I, uh, I guess.” At the least, his gender-studies professor was comfortable enough with using it. “Can we drop it?”

“Because it’s mostly considered an insult because of the trans-exclusionary movement and its adoption by well-meaning liberals. Oh, uh, sure, yeah, I’ll drop it.”

“Thanks.”

Jun changed the conversation to food and hobbies.. Tom enjoyed the lighter topics. Apparently Jun was one of the founders of the Audio/Visual club on campus, and sometimes studied at the Quirby between classes.

“My next class is anthro,” Jun said.

“Furry shit? God, I’ll walk away right now.” Tom gave him a friendly little smack on the shoulder. Or, he was trying to, but Jun frowned, and rubbed his shoulder a little. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean that in a bad way or anything.”

“It’s okay,” Jun said, but he was still frowning. “I mean, anthropology and anthropomorphic share a root word.”

“Anthropologists go to Somalia or whatever, right?”

Jun nodded. “Or wherever they can find some human-interest story. There was a pretty famous study some guy did where he became a crime lord for a couple days in a major city. Forgot which one. Philadelphia, maybe, or L.A. The devil in the city of angels.”

“Wow. Was that the title, or was the dude just that pretentious?”

“Oh, sorry, yeah, I made that up. So the latter. The book was kind of interesting, though they couldn’t use it as a true study.”

Tom mumbled acknowledgement and they kept walking. The Student Information Complex turned out to be far from both his gender-studies class and his next lecture. Not too bad; he could probably skip the next class anyway. He knew enough about basic math from high school. Maybe Jun’s anthro class was closer.

Tom looked over to find Jun staring at him. He was a little startled at the directness of the eye contact—the guy had quite a stare.

“You wouldn’t actually walk away from me if I were a furry, right? Fursona, fursuit, everything?”

“What? I don’t know. Probably.”

“Yeah? Because there are better reasons than that.”

“I guess it depends how embarrassing you were about it,” Tom said. He felt like he was at a job interview.

“That’s what matters to you? How embarrassing something is?”

“I don’t, uh, I haven’t thought about it, I guess. Why? Are you?”

Jun shook his head.

Tom let out a nervous chuckle. Who talked like this when meeting someone? Furries were like politics; you didn’t bring them up on a first date. Not that this was a date, obviously.

He actually had talked politics on a first date before. One of his girlfriends had brought up her supposedly-hot takes about welfare, but it had been a pretty boring conversation, as he remembered. Most politics were, but that might be because his own politics weren’t that weird or radical or anything. Maybe Jun’s were; he seemed like the type.

Jun was continuing his little rant, for some reason.

“It’s just that they get a lot of hate online for doing basically nothing, and it’s a red flag to me when someone hates them for no reason other than that they’re embarrassed. Shows me they haven’t thought about it at all.”

“Oh, I guess that makes sense.” Tom couldn’t imagine reading this much into other people’s opinions.

Jun laughed. “Sorry, I know I can get kind of intense. I basically only talk to comms and social sciences majors.”

At least he was different from the people in the residence hall, Tom thought, as they ordered fries. Tom’s were chili, Jun’s were garlic-parmesan.

“The Quirby has the best seats on campus,” Jun said, and gestured to one of the doorways in the building. “ Honestly. I’m not saying that to trick you to go inside.”

Tom hesitated. He wasn’t about to insult the guy again, but he wasn’t entirely comfortable with sitting there. He didn’t belong, not really. Not that anyone would ask. He just wouldn’t want to take a seat from a lesbian or something.

“If they ask, say you’re dating me,” Jun said. “We’d be like one of those romance webcomics. The ol’ fake-relationship schtick.”

Tom laughed. “You read those?”

“Maybe,” Jun dragged out the word, a smile creasing his eyes.

They walked into the Quirby, which was much larger than Tom had thought, comprising several rooms connected by open archways. Sofas, padded chairs, and beanbags took up the corners of the main sitting area. Another room had a built-in closet, which had a bunch of different dresses and suits. A different area held a bookshelf and a serve-yourself tea stand, complete with a pot of loose-leaf tea and a coffee machine. It was impressive that the space didn’t look cramped.

The successes of the Quirby’s interior design didn’t carry over to its embellishments, though. An array of different palettes clashed on the wall, drawing Tom’s gaze too rapidly and to too many different areas. He supposed that was inescapable, a consequence of the many different groups his gender professor had relayed to the class all having their own flag. His favorite one was the “ace” flag, a term for a community he’d only learned about that day. The splash of purple against monochrome was relatively minimal, even classy.

Tom had his doubts whether such a group really existed. Or, at least, in high enough numbers to be worth treating as more than some obscure Internet group. Supposedly they were only a few percentage points of the population, but even that felt high. To his knowledge, he’d never seen an ace person in the wild. More of the inverse, really. Increasingly he felt like no one around him shut up about their own desires, though, admittedly, they might have been faking.

According to an announcement board on one of the walls, the aces had a dedicated club, which couldn’t have gathered more than a few people. Ironically, the board stood next to a pamphlet about STD prevention and an open package of condoms, which was almost empty.

A few other club listings were posted. Several STEM clubs were hosting a combined party the week after Thanksgiving, and, in two months’ time, there was some kind of engineering showcase. The deaf and hearing-impaired students had their own club, too, which wasn’t surprising. Loftman himself had been deaf, and made sure the university was accommodating. As a result the university drew in a sizable contingent of hearing-impaired people. Tom occasionally saw people signing to each other on campus. More importantly, it meant that almost every lecture was transcribed, available online, and skippable.

Only two other people were in the Quirby, enjoying the tea station, so Tom and Jun were alone in the main sitting room. The seats were, in fact, more comfortable than the other chairs on campus. Definitely more so than the main library; beautiful as the building was, the wooden benches were insulting. 

“You have more classes today?” Tom asked, munching on a fry, which was delicious. Not too crispy or greasy, and with properly-seasoned chili, which wasn’t that common. “Besides the furry one.”

“Yeah, I have Comms this evening, for my major.”

“Communications?”

“Yeah, I know. You can make fun of me. But I swear I took it because I liked the subject.”

“It’s fine. You could go to five ragers a week and I wouldn’t knock you for it.”

“Doubtful. But parties aren’t really my scene.”

Made sense enough. The Venn diagram between people who knew about the Quirby and people who went to Comms parties had to be two circles.

“What do you even learn in Comms?”

Jun shot him a look.

Tom shrugged. “Sorry, I’m sure you learn things or whatever. I’m just curious.”

“You have a way with words,” Jun said.

“Thanks.”

“We learn media literacy and training so we don’t get, you know, destroyed in the marketplace of ideas.”

“Sure,” Tom said, though he wasn’t sure what Jun was talking about. He ate the last few fries. A shame; it meant that he’d lose his excuse to postpone his next class. According to the pink, white, and blue-striped clock on the wall, it was one-ten. He was already late. More importantly, he couldn’t continue the conversation, which he was warming to.

“Wait a minute,” Tom continued. “So you aren’t specializing in gender studies. Did you already know it? That shit in class, I mean.”

“Glad you liked it. And yeah, some of it comes with the territory,” Jun said, gesturing broadly to himself. “Out of the required classes I could take, this was the easiest.

Tom finished his fries.

Jun continued. “So, I’m guessing you’re in business?”

“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m in landscape architecture.”

Jun’s eyes shot up. “Really? Huh.”

“Yeah. What, ‘cuz I’m Hispanic?”

“What? No, no, I guess I made a few assumptions. Didn’t know you’re Hispanic, though.”

“Mixed,” Tom said. “My mom’s Colombian.”

“And it’s only that I thought you were the business type.”

“Because I want power?”

“No, no,” Jun stammered.

“Because I’m a cold-hearted asshole?”

“Uh, a little. You sounded kind of arrogant.”

“I’m fuckin’ with you,” Tom said, before processing the words. “Fair. You’re too sensitive.”

“Yeah? Maybe it’s because I care about other people,” Jun said, but he smiled. There was something in his eyes, something competitive. It stopped Tom’s breath for a moment.

He recovered. “Try giving them space, snowflake.”

Jun turned back to his fries and muttered something before biting into a few at once. It wasn’t that intelligible. Something like “straight dudes, I swear to God”.

Tomtried to keep up the nonchalance, but nerves thrummed in his chest. “I never said anything.”

Jun looked back at him quickly, clearly surprised. Maybe it was Tom’s answer, or maybe he didn’t expect the little quip to be overheard. His eyes flickered up and down. “Oh, no? Could’ve fooled me.”

“I mean, I am, but I never said I was.”

Tom wished he’d sounded more confident. In truth the “ace” poster made him a little unsteady. 

“Oh,” Jun said. “Straight enough to sit next to me in the Quirby fifteen minutes after your class started.”

“Yeah. I’m an ally.”

“Okay,” Jun said. He sounded doubtful.

“What?”

“It’s uh, I don’t know. I shouldn’t pry, but, um, I’m gay, and I thought I was okay at catching these kinds of things, but you have kind of weird vibes.”

“I’m glad you have such an airtight, scientific approach.”

“Well, I don’t know. I would’ve assumed you were bi, maybe pan.”

“I didn’t know there was a difference.”

“Yep.”

“I also didn’t know you could be gay and trans.”

“Well, sure. I’m a guy, and I like guys, so, yeah.”

Tom gazed at the visually-crowded wall in front of him. At least this confirmed the “trans man” question he’d been stuck on for a while.

Another minute of two passed before Jun stood up.

“Hate to leave you, but I feel sort of bad for costing you twenty minutes of lecture. See you, uh, next week, I guess?”

“Oh, before then, hopefully,” Tom said. “Let me give you my number.”

Jun inputted his contact info into Tom’s phone and sent a sample text.

It’s me, Jun. ;)

Jun

[itashiro-hitsuchiha]

New RWBY OC - Alice Goldrin

Ik I already have a plethora of RWBY muses but it's not my fault this verse is fun to play with for character concepts. Anyways here we go. Check her info and if you're interested feel free to pester her. XP

Name: Alice Goldrin

Inspiration: Alice in Wonderland

Sex: Female

Sexuality: straight

Age: 19

Height: 5'7"

Aura color: Gold

Home Region: Mistral

Appearance: athletic build, long blonde hair, blue eyes, schoolgirl outfit worn in a more casual manner (open top buttons loose tie), heel boots, curvy

Personality: Alice has a split personality which is brought about by a trigger phrase (more in background info) so this will be split into two sections:

Normal- bright, bubbly, generally nice, little odd with often made up phrases or odd logic, very curious, good natured,

Alternate- Stuck up, hot headed, cynical, Sadistic, psychotic

Weapon: Tweedle Stick- Much like Roman Alice worlds a simple cane that can have a sharp retractable blade at the tip, but she also holds a contraption on her side that can attach to it to become a Hobby horse that acts like a hammer, but she can also use the same contraption to make the cane into a shotgun.

Semblance: Wonderland- Alice's semblance allows her to manipulate the objects she holds to make them either bigger or smaller by a small margin. This is actually more useful than it seems as it can make items hit harder or faster than they normally should. Can make things lighter or heavier and it can make fighting against her disorienting.

Special note: Alice's semblance undergoes a change as her abilities become altered after her mind is split which allows her to manipulate the area around herself to apply her semblance to which makes fighting her even more dangerous as most items being put in her area will be forcibly changed. This also changes depending on how she views objects. As an example, if you have a poisoned drink enter her area, it'll become a normal drink since that's how she would see it.

Background: Alice was an orphan growing up so she didn't have a lot of stability. So she sought solice in the old fairy tale stories told to children and she was obsessed with it. While she may never had much of a family she always found herself exploring the areas around the town she grew up in and had odd theories others often made fun of her for, but she never let it get to her. She made a few friends here and there but after she turned 16 she had to figure out what she wanted to go do to support herself. She eventually went to become a huntress as it was something her friends did and she had some athletic talents and can improvise pretty well. It took her a couple years to graduate and become a licensed huntress. But during one of her missions she was separated from her team and came across a mysterious figure who captured her. She disappeared for a year and when she returned she wasn't the same. She seemed more unhinged and crazier than normal. She seemed to be unfocused like her mind was elsewhere.

In truth the mysterious figure had access to ancient magic and tortured her mind during that year to where her consciousness was split between her normal body and to the Ever After. How this was done is unclear as she doesn't remember the event that lead to this. Most who knew her before will find her mostly the same but there is always an odd feeling that something isn't quite right. Every so often she sometimes utters a phrase which causes a switch to flip and she becomes a homicidal maniac attacking anyone nearby. Calling herself the "Bloody Red Queen" and seemingly having access to magic abilities similar to that of a Maiden but not quite as strong. Where she makes up for that lack of power is an enhancement to her semblance as well as the ability to pull things from the Ever After to fight alongside her (mostly a deck of card soldiers). This state will pass after some time and her normal self will return with no memory of what she had just done. Of course in the wrong place at the wrong time and she would be labeled a dangerous criminal but most stories would be rumors at best. Where she stands in the world is still unknown. For now she's just a random traveler looking for a place to belong.

Face claim: Junko Enoshima from Danganronpa

[terresdebrume]

it’s not impulsively sent and it’s not a one sentence view of your “nuanced” opinions considering you, at one point reblogged “this blog is safe for Jews” and then became one of the many who, after October 7th, reblogged what was oftentimes misinformation by people hiding their antisemitism under the guise of anti Zionism—all while completely ignoring what the Jewish community suffered. You don’t “fight violence with violence” by violently murdering children and civilians in an unprovoked attack on a holiday. You don’t “fight violence with violence” by raping and mutilating civilians. And ignoring that suffering while propping another group’s up while *continuing* to justify “maybe violence IS the answer” like you did in that last ask is disgusting

Right. So just for clarification: the original tags on that post were a general comment, not intended to make a judgement on any particular situation going on. I did go there myself in my previous post by mentioning the Palestinian situation which I should at the very least have been more mindful about, and I'm sorry about that. Believe it or not, I genuinely didn't remember the October attacks when I wrote this, which I admit is also not great.

This specific attack was definitely horrible, and to me at least it does very much seem retaliatory as opposed to defensive. It was, in my admittedly extremely external opinion, also generally not helpful. I can only imagine what the families of the victims are feeling right now, and I'm sorry this happened at all. (Edited to clarify: I don't think this particular case is one of justified violence.)

That being said, I also think the way the Israeli government has been talking about Palestine and deploying its forces against it is unacceptable and indefensible. I think the cessation of Palestinian occupation is the correct goal to pursue and also a necessary step in the process of dismantling Hamas and stopping its actions against Israeli (Added for clarity.) civilians. I also think that regardless of anyone's opinion on the creation of Israel, there will be no long term solution that doesn't include Israeli populations, if only because they've been there for generations now* and to inflict upon them the same thing that is being forced on Palestinians would be cruel and absolutely indefensible.

*I know there's always been a Jewish population in the region, this is not an attempt to deny that, I'm just saying that Israel as an official state has only existed for a much shorter time than that.

As for the more personal aspect of this message. I can only apologize for the misinformation I reblogged. I try to be discerning about it, I don't always do great, and as I've shown today I can definitely be thoughtless. I can only try to do better about that, and assure you that none of these instances have stemmed from a deliberate attempt to be hurtful to or bring harm to Jewish communities, though of course that doesn't mean I didn't hurt anyone with them.

Lastly, and at the risk of sounding like I'm doubling down: in a broad sense, I still don't believe Pacifism as a political praxis can or should be applied to all situations. I don't expect everyone to agree with me on that but I would be lying if I said the opposite.

[breengor]

I'd like to add onto this because I feel like I've come off as more hostile in this post than I needed to be. There are multiple reasons for this that I will get into down below.

First of all, OP's point was made in support of a greater point about BG3 fans being incredibly weird about Wyll. BG3 fans are indeed incredibly weird about Wyll (understatement made for comedic effect, I'm speaking about the fucking racism in the tags here), which isn't helped at all by Larian Studios' distasteful and careless neglect of the character.

Let me also quickly acknowledge that the game is indeed set in a fantasy universe, and that of course, Gortash isn't actually an ethnic Turk in the game, because the Ottoman Empire isn't actually a thing in the game. However, the coding is there, and very obvious to anyone from the Balkans and Turkey, or with knowledge of the region; and I don't think it's beyond reason that a European studio, even a Western European one, might have done this intentionally.

My original post was also not made with the implication that Enver Gortash was good... Ottoman representation? I don't think I am the person to make any kind of prescriptive statement on that matter for reasons I will get into below. In any case, I advise anyone to always remain cautious about Western Europeans' portrayal of Turkish characters in media on principle, and I generally have very mixed feelings about it myself.

Okay. I am now leaving the BG3 discourse until the last paragraph, because this is where I explain why I think I messed up with this original post. This is going to get very personal and heavy but I need to give some context about my family for the next section to make sense. So. I am a Pontic Greek. My great-grandparents are survivors of the Greek Genocide who moved from Pontos to Athens. Later, my grandparents moved with their children to Belgium, and our family has been a member of the Greek diaspora in the country since. Belgium also happens to be the country that Larian Studios was founded in, and is primarily based in.

Western Europeans are, let's just use our prior understatement here, incredibly weird about Turks. It's one of the reasons why it's quite difficult for me to speak on this. Belgians have not been, and still aren't kind to the Greek diaspora here. Southeastern Europeans, which had been brought en-masse to work in the mining industry, were effectively segregated from the rest of the Belgian population until the latter half of the 20th century. Even today, housing and employment discrimination is still very much an ongoing issue for Southeastern Europeans in Belgium.

Now, everything I have just stated up there applies to Turkish diasporas as well, except even worse! "At least," we get the reluctant acknowledgement of being European, the wrong kind of Europeans sure, but Europeans nonetheless! We are the out-group within the in-group, while the Turks are just the out-group. Western Europeans are typically ignorant of Greek history, especially medieval-onward. I've always struggled to decide whether that's better than the alternative. Because when Western European countries do bother to educate themselves on say, Ottoman oppression, the centuries of occupation, the genocides, it's to disingenuously fuel xenophobic hate towards Turks and Turkish diasporas. The last thing I want is to participate in that.

I have to be honest in that personally, I've been pretty happy with Gortash's role as a villain in BG3. I'm kind of a sucker for horribly immoral characters, and Gortash isn't an exception (I want to kick him like football, like he is so trash, such a terrible man, I love to hate him so much). The Ottoman coding I guess, was like, a bonus thing for me that I could point at and go like "oh man I know that! I know what this is in reference to!" So yea, I lowered my guard, and momentarily forgot about that caution I was advising about earlier.

Now, I can't claim to know what Larian Studios' intentions with the character were. I'm not even sure if it's my place to tell. Of course, wishing to immerse yourself in a fantasy universe is completely valid, and I'm really glad to see all the love for BG3 online as someone who, while not Belgian themself, has lived there a long time. I do want however, to advise people to think a little more critically about the media they consume. It doesn't exist in a vacuum, and it's bound to carry some real world™ biases, some of which can be really harmful to minoritized communities, so let's be mindful of that (wow much spicy media hot take right there very bravery I know).

Hate to get into fandom drama but like

I would like to introduce Western BG3 fans to the Ottoman Empire

ENVER Gortash has a Turkish (or Bosnian or Albanian) first name

Friendly reminder that BG3 was developed by a European game studio

Thanks,

a Greek who is really tired of the Balkans being erased in conversations of imperial occupation and ethnic cleansing

[xkzanova]

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