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S19E10: E Pluribus Wiggum

I suppose it's appropriate that after Treehouse of Horror XX (I haven't decided how to deal with those yet), WTSO's "random" button gives me this one. I watched this at Sam's house in 2008, or maybe the end of 2007. You can figure it out at Wikipedia.. We smoked a lot of cigarettes, and I was pretty impressed. I thought this one had the HD opening, but I guess not, at least not in this syndication version. It does have a good Bayeux Tapestry opening, though (which I learned just now is not a tapestry, but rather embroidery...thanks, Wikipedia!). Screw Flanders.

Homer, Lenny, and Carl are waiting to leave early. Burns is slow leaving. Homer calls his phone and threatens him, and makes the dude dance like Walter Huston, and then a Rockette. Burns leaves, and Carl is excited to go to his empty apartment (his words :-( ).

Okay, Homer's on a diet, and Homer decides he's gunna eat a buncha crap. He does in a montage to "Hungrly Like the Wolf." My problem with Rio? It is wayyyyyyyy too quiet. Homer ends up cleaning out his car. He throws a battery in the trash can, which leaks onto a gas main, which explodes when Homer throws a cigar match into the trash can.

A bunch of mascots are out of work in the town hall, and Homer vows to rebuild Fast-Food Boulevard (1972-2008). He rouses some rabble, and there's a Monorail-like scene. Springfield decides to vote on some bonds (which are secured debt, as opposed to debentures, which are unsecured--thanks, school!).

So they go to New Hampshire, where Dan Rather is interviewing some bumpkins, but then he hears Springfield has the earliest primary. We now learn Springfield is not in New Hampshire.

While we're transferring the action to springfield there's a really, really bad animation of an eagle voting. There is even Comic Sans. For real. Kent Brockman interviews Moe who is "a registered...somethin'..." Homer has a fantasy about being in a think tank (which has a believable name...when was the Center for American Progress started?)...turns out he was right about what a think tank is.

A bunch of reporters are drinking in Moe's.

Jon Stewart guest stars. He knows Krusty. Krusty's trying to steal material from Stewart. I don't know if I like Jon Stewart outside his schtick. Whatever.

Nelson haw-haws at a print journalist. Topical!

Homer participates (along with a bunch of well-known Springfielders) in a focus group about political ads. Now, I'm the first to say that political ads are half-truths at best, and I recognize that this is just a TV cartoon using hyperbole as its strongest weapon, but come on, this ad is just stupid. The best argument for the Simpsons back in the day was that it was smart/real. That was a caricature at best. At best.

So they go to debates where neither Hillary Clinton nor Barack Obama is participating. Clinton's nailing up a sign for Hillary, though. She reminds him, over the phone, of his indiscretions. It's too bad that he's defined by that one thing. Then again, it allowed him to (mostly) escape blame for the tech bubble and the housing bubble!

So the Simpson home has an Undecided sign, and that leads to a media circus. Fred Thompson is th elast to leave.

Homer gets real mad at the politicians, Skinner at the media, and Lenny and Carl support a military junta. Homer suggests the most ridiculous candidate, to which Apu says Kucinich. No dice: it's Ralph Wiggum. 

So then there's Headbutt with Nash Castor (whoa, that's the same show as in S23E10! He even has the same guest talking head [Adriatica Vel Johnson]). Here's a tip for people who haven't spent time in DC: Pennsylvania Avenue is not only the White House. It is a very long street, and probably the best way to get from downtown DC to Georgetown. It has bike lanes from the Capitol to 15th Street (right before the Treasury), and is wide enough on the other side of the White House to lead this biker not to be scared of cars. Nash Castor uses Pennsylvania Avenue as a metonym for "the White House." It is not.

Throwaway joke about excess inventory at Springfield Dodge followed by a p good "wiggumarole" joke.

Bart says "Patriot Act" and Homer mocks it. To be fair, the Constitution is pretty stupid. To be fair to people nervous about the Patriot Act...c'mon, it's the worst thing for civil liberties.

Springfield Republican Party Headquarters: disagreement, but eventually they agree on Ralphie.

Springfield Democratic Party Meeting at a grocery store (offensive): agreement on Ralphie.

To the Wiggum compound: pointless facts and arguments about who "Elmo" is. Stupid.

Ralphie convinces Lisa because he's gunna not go to war. Then there's a commercial. Clinton says he's gunna vote for Ralph (but don't tell Hillary)

Slogan: Ralph Wiggum: Pick a Winner.

Anything else to say? I thought about going on a rant about the Simpsons' politics. I thought better of it. Suffice it to say: let's have a Keith Olbermann character, or at least Rachel Maddow.

[talkingsimpsons-blog]

S16E02: All's Fair in Oven War

I watched the new one (S23E10, the one where Homer becomes Glenn Beck) as a warmup. We'll see if this post is any better. Probably not!

When did the couch gags start leaving the house? I guess I'll figure it out.

We start out with a blaxploitation joke, and Bart's eating cookies he got from an open house. Homer has a fantasy about living next door to Homer that's real funny. 

Whoa, look at that kitchen! It's exactly what a fridge looked like in the middle of the housing bubble! Homer microwaves himself, and we learn that (surprise!) the Simpsons have a crappy house/everything. I mean, Homer owns his own home, though, so he's not doing too bad. Like, he's a nuclear engineer!

Homer bashes some things and gets electrocuted a few times. Whoa, they found Homer's Playdude stash! Oh lol this is the start of the subplot about Bart and Milhouse having the Playdude mansion in the treehouse. "That's Congressman Bella Abzug!" "Ciao Bella!" Huh, the picture of the Playdude party looks like Mad Men, doesn't it?

Did Homer always hate contractors? I guess not, because there's the one with Everybody Loves Raymond. The joke about the subcontractor who likes to kiss is hilarious. So then Marge gets a new kitchen and makes wasabi buffalo wings. I think I'm gunna get wings on Tuesday!

Thomas Pynchon sighting! Incidental to that, we learn that Sideshow Mel went to Cornell. I was just telling my friend to read Gravity's Rainbow, but I think he's gunna read Game of Thrones instead. 

Oh man, Apu as Steve Barnes. (After the next paragraph he disappears for a bit and opens a convenience store in New Delhi.)

When Bart and Milhouse are listening to jazz I guess it's funny. I bet there's about 5000 calories in Marge's dessert dogs. I have used Homer's line about "I don't wanna freak you out, but I think I love you" with girlfriends. It's generally a hit. 

Marge got in the bake-off. Ralph didn't, because he cooked with crayons and thumbtacks. There's some throwaway gags about the sponsors of the bake-off.

When Bart reveals his Playdude persona, Nelson haw-haws. In the long shot, we see the pretty curly-haired girl from Bart's class. I'll post about her more later. He invites friends to a wing-ding.

Marge goes to the bake-off. Apu's (Steve Barnes') wife is there. Generally the other bakers are mean.

Oh lolololololol James Caan is at the wing ding. He tells a story about beating some guy up, and then goes and bangs Krabapple. Lololololol.

Back to the bake-off, where Luigi is sabotaging Marge's dessert dogs with fish scales. He's delightful, but Marge describes him as a "meany bo-beanie." Agnes Skinner dunks her hair in the mixing bowl.

The parents aren't happy about Bart's wing ding. Apparently he told the joke about the octopus. It goes a bit like this. An octopus goes into a bar holding a bagpipe. The bartender says, "Hey, you can't play that in here." The octopus, in reply, says, "Play her? Once I get these pajamas off, I was gunna fuck her." Classic. It was in Playboy in about 2004, and probably before, because it's a good joke. Ralphie wants to get on the pill.

Back to the bake-off. The gay dude spilled fire on Marge's dessert. Marge feeds the family on $12/week. Can Marge fix her dessert dogs?!? Let's find out! Well, it turns out she cheats by putting baby ear medicine in every dish except Cletus' wife's (she has a name, but I can't remember it. She's not Curly's wife.). Anyway, all that food looks really good. I haven't been eating enough lately. Lisa sees Marge cheating and judges her. Eight year-olds don't really understand, but the world is complex.

Homer has a fantasy about a whole bunch of parodied food mascots. I see the pringles guy, the Keebler Elves, Chicken of the Sea, Pillsbury Doughboy. Whatever. There's a bunch.

Brandeen is Cletus' wife. 

Lolololol "Most bachelors we know would prefer to squeeze their own tomatoes." Homer kicks out Milbot. I need to read more Mailer. I've only read The Naked and the Dead and The Executioner's Song. The latter. Holy shit. Maybe I'll read Harlot's Ghost? Anyway, Homer tells Bart the facts of life, and Bart spreads them in a Jeffy from Family Circus pattern.

Lisa confronts Marge about cheating. Marge compares herself to Mickey Mantle? Not really sure I get the analogy, but then she says that people just know her as "the wife of a guy who doesn't go to work." Lololololololol. Lisa is conflicted, and it looks like the Playdude subplot is over, because Bart is cowering in the corner.

The finals of the bake-off are in like an iron chef format, I guess. Moe talks about banging Marge in hell. That's real depressing. But the secret ingredient in Homer's eggs is whiskey.

Lolololololol Brandeen ran off with James Caan. And then unlike the scene in S14E09 (see the post about it), there's a funny, relevant Godfather II reference (tollbooth scene). I should probably watch that again.

Anything else to say? Actually I dunno. All in all, this was a pretty good episode. Obviously I liked the Playdude subplot. It made up for a pretty weak, slow-developing main plot. The first time I saw this one I couldn't figure out where it was going until they got to the bake-off. But the Playdude subplot, while not strong enough to carry an episode, was relatable, and showed impressive knowledge of vintage Playboy. I guess Simpsons writers are part of a great old boys' club (in addition to be mostly Ivy Leaguers), so I shouldn't exactly be surprised at that knowledge.

[talkingsimpsons-blog]

S14E09: The Strong Arms of the Marge

So it's 7:40 AM and I'm starting this blog. Hollaaaaa. It's pretty depressing, right? Anyway. This episode starts out with an Eye on Springfield montage into a Rainier Wolfcastle auction where Moe buys some broads. Then there's some bullshit with the auction that isn't too funny. Then Homer buys a bunch of stuff, including Rainier Wolfcastle's weights, and he can't fit himself into the car. Rob Schneider is mentioned, and I fly into a fit of rage (figuratively).

Then I guess they need to find a bathroom for Maggie. It's a bad bathroom. But wtf Marge gets mugged! The dude starts to take her purse, but it's rly a diaper bag, and then he takes her necklace and it's real bad. For real, she looks real crazy without a necklace.

So then Marge gets a little crazy and maces Ralph Wiggum and runs over the mailman. She's still not wearing her necklace, even though she has a ball of them, for whatever reason. Then she has like a weird hallucination about going outside and there's a joke about The Twilight Zone that isn't too funny.

Dr. Hibbert comes in. He's unfunny as usual.

They put helmets and whatnot on Marge. A bug freaks Homer out, and that freaks Marge out. Homer sets fire to the beehive. etc.

Bart plays Apu, Lisa plays a magazine rack, and Milhouse plays a robber in a stupid play mimicking the Kwik-E-Mart. It's dumb. Then there's a joke where Bart pretends to talk like Apu. Then they go to church while Marge sitsin the basement cowering. There's a gag about eating spinach onthe air hockey table (?) down in the basement.

Something about the cat.

Then Marge finally starts lifting weights. I guess Homer likes Marge's abs. Anyway, she leaves the house, because I guess she was agoraphobic (because of the mugger, I suppose). Then she runs around telling people. There's a pretty good joke with grampa simpson, and then a Godfather gag. But that scene was really disgusting and repulsive, which I think was the point in the movie (Sonny wasn't a good dude, I don't think), unlike this episode, where it was just like, "Hey, look at the movie I saw!"

And then Marge goes to muscle beach and meets Ruth Powers. See the thing about Ruth Powers is that it's just like that godfather gag: "look at this Simpsons episode I've seen!" So then anyway Ruth Powers gives Marge steroids and Marge gets real muscular. Right before the kids are gunna miss the bus, Marge stops it. P. impressive.

Then Homer becomes the woman.

So then a couple minutes later, there's like the pageant i guess. There's some jokes about women not being women. Marge gets second. It's not a good show.

They go to Moe's. I'm not sure what Marge is talking about here, but if even Moe doesn't wanna get down, it's bad news. When Marge picks up the jukebox it changes songs. "Relax" plays, and then some sailors try to kick Marge's ass. Adagio for Strings plays, and it's p corny, and then before she throws Lenny at Homer, Homer convinces Marge not to, and Moe burns down the bar without insurance.

Marge burns the weights (I guess weights burn?). 

Anything to say about this episode? Nah it sucks.