#:( i get it but also i can fix her. idk i know i just need to get over it and focus on what makes me happy & inspired)
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Callum has asked Rayla twice now to kill him if he's ever corrupted again. This time as like a barter. And this time, despite looking devastated, she finally (begrudgingly) agrees. And later this season, Callum is cleared of his dark magic corruption, but it also warned that if he does dark magic again it'll overwhelm him.
Man my dreams have already been haunted enough by death foreshadowing I can't take much more of it for these two.
#listen i know many many fans adore the angst of one or both of them dying. especially if its the other that caused the killing blow#i get that. i do#but i just wouldnt be able to take that kind of heartache.#if any of the main characters die by the end of the show - ESPECIALLY rayla callum or ez - i will lose my mind. especially if they do it to#each other. either intentionally or not. simply wouldnt be able to take it im too emotional and attached to them to be able to take that#i like angst. but not death angst. i cant take that. especially not for characters i adore so much#they better NOT have either of them kill each other by the end of the show i will not be able to handle it#this better just be some foreshadowing of it 'they said over and over that theyll do it for each other but in the end they love each other#too much to do it and love fixes it' or some sappy bullshit like that. anything but killing each other please i cant handle that#fuck. shits gonna haunt my dreams even more now than before#they wouldnt kill off their main characters that are the faces of their show right? ....right?? please??? i beg?????#please think if the children#me im the children#tdp#tdp s6#tdp s6 spoilers#that scene where they argue about callum doing dark magic again was so very needed but still oof. and the way callum is so much more firm#this time and rayla looks so devastated but knows he means it even more now. god. end me. i just finished that episode on my rewatch btw#also like. can we talk about how she loudly slapped her hands together right in their faces to get her point across. damn id have jumped#back too. she uh. really wanted to get her point across huh. shes never done that before.#oh oof man this episode has no many emotions. giggles and funnies and sadness and sweetness and heartache and fear and worry#thats probably not even all of em#rayla#callum#rayllum#also they really choose random times to use that slightly different animation style huh. that makes their faces look more loose and the#expressions sit differently. looks a little more animated. and like. goofy but not in a bad way? i noticed it blatantly in s5 in at least#one scene (while in the market in 506) and maybe even other spots in s5. and some less obvious spots in s4 too. now here during their#argument and when callum asks rayla to promise again. its not bad its just starkly different and throws me off. wonder if like. a different#person animated those parts and they somehow did it differently. idk it hardcore sticks out to me every time now when i see it.
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i have no idea where the compulsion to giver her a pokemon came from ??? but her and her minccino gotta go make sure her husband stays safe.
#my characters#pkmn#honestly very shocked she got so many notes yesterday and yes she has a white cat#why did i feel the need to give her a pokemon ?? idk!#but also fun fact i cant recall if i mentioned in tags yet#is she really does just worry about how nice her husband is bc while hes recovering#she has to say mmmm maybe we DONT call an electrician over while im at work and cant be here for you#and hes like well why not ?? do you think the electrician is going to kidnap me????#and shes like not really but you ARE really gullible and suffering a head injury where you space out at times and i dont want#to leave you here with a stranger ok#and the husband is just like you know what thats actually so valid i am really gullible i might be tricked into something#and just accepts it ! hes like YEAH ! i AM easy to convince of things! my wife is so cool and smart and looking out for us#but its also why he realizes while hes at home recovering there are ONLINE COURSES he can take#and so he starts to look online and figures out how to fix the flickering himself and gets a couple online courses under his belt#and he uses his engineering and construction knowledge to help him figure out how to build death contraptions#and so his wife is like sweetheart why dont you try to do something with that as a job? you have the ability#and hes like yeah but what do i put on a resume?#i used free online lectures to fix lights in my bathroom and build really cool ways to die? trust me? ive died a lot?#and shes just yeah ok fair that is a bit hard to convince people you know what youre doing when you do it to die#loving wife loves her loving husband and together they go die a lot now ft a cute lil pokeman
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Damian wayne head cannon, bro is either over dressed or underdressed but always in style. The Wayne's tend to just pick a stugle some times as Dick, Jason ans steph and known for being in tight/short/ skimpy fits with loads of accessories and Bruce, Tim, babs, cas and Duke tend to do a...lot because why show up if it's not to show up? They are beautiful humans and they show off. Damian is from a place where everyone dressed over accessorised.
You can not convince me that the RAs don't walk around with gold/silver/broz/metal and gems apart of every fit.and everyone dose it too just they the main blood line is extra about it something about the wight helps training and you can't go around looking homeless if your a ra. So dami comes with his own gems why thank you and gets more 'anonymously'. It's also a good way to get in his good graces or earn is help or silence(this is abused by the family on 'don't tell xxxx').
So some days you see Damian in this 50 layer kimono because he favourite anime character of the week died or in botty shorts and a crop top (Both with mannny accessories) because he just felt like it.
Mind you he is still wearing heavy jewellery so people do try to rob him. But he is Damain, his rep is of a wild but beautiful dog. He dose bite he also has security detail thanks to his mother and grandfather that only do nothing if they themselves send assassin's to harm him.
He knows everyone knows. They are his old servants and nanny's he acts like it too. Alfred likes the extra help and plays card games with them. One of the mannor floors is dedicated to Damains 'guards'.
Witch leads me to another au.
The nanny's and servants help with house work alot so alf have more time with the family and the family gets to know them as well but they know the servants don't need to awnser to them and it's only because Damain likes them it happens. They are loyal af.
One time burce asked Damain why can't he act like kids his age at the time. The only kids outside of his siblings he knew was the rich brats at school.
This gose wrong fast.
As damaian has them disguise themselves in a mall area and plan for a meeting with one of his classmates who talked bad about his mother one day to come fight.
Damaian had an outing with a 'friend' that day conveniently.
So they met at the mall the kid had like 10 guards all buff and some with guns. Damaian smirked, and like a demon who won a prize, he started cackling.
Brat" why ate you laughing your surrounded "
Somebody was recording in the background BTW. There was even a crowd. When the guards surrounded him he grinned and clapped.
His guards sand up some dropping trays and lifting guns, others lifting knives. All looking at the small crowd of 11.
D: "No you are surrounded"
People in the crowd gasp as more jumps from. The 3rd floor to the 2nd floor some hand off wires with more guns by now even some coming out of the crowd with more weponds totalling to almost 300 men and women.
D"now what was it you said about my mother?being a broke, whore?"
He lifted his hands and grined eith a glint in his eyes.
"Everyone around you is an enemy shawn. You best kneel and beg before me for forgiveness before I have them wiped you off the map."
By this time the crowd was growing and it was on the news all asking who the armed people worked for.
Then they turned red in the center from Sniper aims and it becomes national news it's on NBC and BBC how some wayne kid plans to kill a classmate with 100 men and 40 snipers for being disrespectful to his mother talking about how Bruce is letting his kids use his money.
Then a chopper appears because damain is dramatic he came that way and his family *caough * Dick *caough * made it worst.
His grandfather walks out in all his glory, and it becomes known to the world as it is now world news it has the kids' parents showing up even. That Damian is a part of the Al Gulh royal family, and they came out of hiding because of the disrespect they faced in a school. The parent where bowing a grovelling to spare them. Then talia shows up in her crown princess clothes. It makes RA act even bolder because she often refuses to wear clothes he gives her. She apologized for the mess her son and father cause on international news.
The a chopper came over from the Korean royal family asking who disrespected their family.
Damnian becomes international overnight. His mother and grandfather now have Twitter, and so do the very much hidden in the plane sight empire. While the world want to know what land is, they refuse to talk about it.
And Bruce is pissed he scolds him and then some when he reaches home. Damaian said.
"You said 'why don't I act like other kids' I acted like my classmates are you happy now?"
Bruce sinks in defeat and noe has to make up a story as to hoe he and talia met and now has to fit royal meeting into Damains schedule as the korean[ he didn't know ] side of family also wants turns with him and his siblings if they wish to come. Ras is the same and nobody questions damians linage again.
And all racist comments stop in his presents, his slate wiped clean anyone who offended him where either expelled or conveniently disappeared. Gotham acts like it's an every day thing and now news reporters and other people try to dig into his life more than the other Wayne's forming sort of a protection for them because who cares I'd Jason and Tim had a gun fight in the middle of Gotham (paint gun) all of Gotham didn't care because they too also joined into to the mess.
Damain looks actually too tired to care now because too much is on his plate and he can't get work related injuries else take a leave of absence which last time made international news again, he played off the brused lip as he lost a tooth while reading a book and it fell on his face. Had to get check out infount of t.v to confirm it by at least two nations doctors. All 3 of them did and confirmed the sooth got shook out by something falling on his face. [It was jon. Jon fell on his face].
Damian also has to walk around with food testers and his school released his gardeds once to show off and his private touters [smartest people in the world] showed thier certificates from when he was a child of him being thr smartest kid they have ever thought.
It's not the end of it, Damain now basically sits and eats at galas because who has the standing to talk to him, both good and bad because everyone is watching him and he don't have to talk to them.
(I'm just building help:^
I need to stop alright one more
Sick as fuck rn )
Damains clothes become trendy and scrutinised. Because look at this, he is either over dressed or under dressed but never worse dressed and refuses to care about gender or cultural norms. Once, we wore a whole silk gown to a beach, like the after divorce, or just married a rich man type gown with the slit and everything with heavy jewellery, garter belt and that toe chain that ties up to your calves with a parasol.
(In my cannon, he looks more like talia than Bruce)
#damian al ghul#batman#alt au#dcu#headcanon#damian wayne#bat family#royal damian wayne#bruce asked him to be a normal kid and he only knows rich kids. utill he meets jon after burce thought about what he said#it wss like bruce said i know what i said was wrong i fix it by gibing you thr most normal kid i know *shows alien boy*#dick loves to plan damians outfits with bhim because why not#Jason uses damian to get more books#tim uses him to get more international assess#barbra sees this as a way to get better wheel chair#she also gets her spine fixs a bit so she can walk and shit but not for long so still needs the wheel chair.#duek gets aloooot of comics and games#cass loves to use it to get food and just show up places and nobody bats an eye like that one time she showed up behind a victora secret#show and besically they just dressed her in what ever becauee she is rich enough and shit idk how those work#she is now a model on the side.#steph loves to go all over the world and eat there and do social media shit. but she also made shore her child got better treatment#even without her interference in her life she doesn't feel ready for that yet but she still wants it to live a life she could only wish for#even if she is not there#alf loves his new friends working in the mannor and have sceduled game and movie nights.#he also takes breaks now some times.
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i'm actually pretty far into my Picard-era Voyager reunion fic (about 6k out of.... probably 9k or so) but i'm a bit insecure about it because every other longer fic i've written has been a little more insightful & deeper whereas this feels too surface level for my tastes. like i enjoy writing it. and i'd enjoy it if i was just a reader rather than a writer. it's fun to catch up with these characters and figure out how their relationships have changed and write some banter but idk it's just not clicking the way my other recent published fics have.
#yes yes i know not everything has to be that deep and i'm writing this *because* it's a fun fluff piece to break up the serious stuff a bit#but i think at the end of the day i'm just not a good fluff writer. i need angst. i need some sort of plot.#i also made a stylistic choice to only write from one perspective#and i stand by it. i think it still works#but it is a bit annoying because my default response to “this scene is getting uninteresting” to me is to switch pov#anyways i need to stop being too self-critical. at the end of the day it's fanfic. i'm doing this for fun and for free#not every one will be a banger#i am very much hoping to finish it by the end of the year though#writing woes#(also i keep seeing the recent “worst star trek show” poll go around here and like. i get why ppl don't like Picard. i sympathize with#a lot of the criticisms even if i don't 100% agree. but also while the show is bumpy it's given me so much creative inspiration the past#year and a half. and constantly seeing negativity about it is kinda tanking my motivation to write anything for or around the show and#:( i get it but also i can fix her. idk i know i just need to get over it and focus on what makes me happy & inspired)
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It's short wait for her at Harper's office, as always. The doctor is surprisingly accomodating whenever she stops by, and Avery isn't sure if it's the money talking or something else that makes her so cooperative. This makes all interactions with the good doctor so very uncomfortable.
"How have you been?" Harper asks, smiling pleasantly. She has one of those unsettlingly calm faces. It might be comforting for something else, but to Avery it's like a still lake. Probably swarming with bacteria and parasites, that is.
"Fine." Avery is always curt to her, albeit polite. "I just want my prescription. I have work today until later, and i'm all out of my medicine."
"On a sunday?" Harper's eyebrows shoot up. "My, that must be stressful."
"You're also working on a sunday." Avery points out, with a hint of a frown on her face.
"Yes, but i like my job." Harper gives her another one of those unnerving, placid smiles.
Avery doesn't like the implication of her words, but she keeps quiet. She needs to stay on the doctor's good side, at least until she gets another supplier.
"And you're in luck." Harper says, getting up to grab something in a cabinet behind her desk. "I've just gotten samples of your prescription, so you don't even need to go to the pharmacy."
She holds out two little bottles of pills, unlabeled, unlicensed opiates. Likely stronger than the stuff she could buy anywhere else. Avery can't help but get a bit excited to feel that high again, as her tolarance built up over the years.
"That's nice." Avery smiles carefully. "How much?"
"Because it's you... I guess £20000 will do." Harper decides. "A discount for a regular. So?"
"Hey, that's steep." Avery frowns, but Harper seems completely unfazed, as always.
"You can always just grab the usual." Harper shrugs, setting the bottles down on her desk, then getting in front of them as she leans back on her desk. "Ah, i hate to see you looking so sad. I can give you a prescription for the pharmacy for the same price as always, or..."
"Or?" Avery raises an eyebrow at the doctor. She doesn't like her tone, but if it's a good offer...
"You can help me with research, and i'll dock the price." Harper's smile widens a bit as she says it. "Answer some questions for me, and i can do it for around... £15000. What do you say?"
Avery has blinks a little. That big of a discount, just for answering some questions? It had to have a catch, but... The temptation of something that could give her a decent high was too strong.
"Okay, fine, but make it quick. I have work." Avery hurriedly replies, and Harper's claps once like a little kid.
"Okay, great! Let me just..." The doctor turns and grabs a clipboard and pen from her desk, scribbling something on the paper. "Whenever you're ready."
"Let's get this over with already." Impatient, Avery has to hold back from rolling her eyes at the pretense of profissionalism.
"Right, first question. What drugs do you usually take?" Harper asks, and as Avery shoots her a glare, she explains. "Drug is an umbrella term that describes medicines, too, as i'm sure you know. I'm not implying anything here, miss Avery, please don't be offended."
"You know that already, then." Avery huffs, but Harper just chuckles a little.
"For the purposes of research, i can't assume anything about the subjects. Now, if you'd be kind to tell me..." She insists.
"God, fine." Avery reluctantly lists them, by brand rather than name, to emphasize their legal status just in case that file falls in the wrong hands. Harper seems a bit amused by this, but doesn't comment on it.
"You smoke, correct?" Harper asks, and Avery takes a moment before nodding.
"Just occasionally." She adds, making Harper shoot her a look. Whatever, she didn't need to prove anything.
"What about alcohol?" Harper continues.
"...Socially." Avery replies, and Harper sets down the clipboard.
"Miss Avery, i know i said i shouldn't assume anything about the subjects, but i'd like it if you were truthful." Harper almost sounds like she's begging, and Avery hates that it could work if she didn't know better. "Don't worry, nobody else is going to see this, and your name won't be on it. It's... Personal research."
Avery lets out a loud sigh as she looks away from Harper's pleading eyes.
"Fine, yes, i do drink more than socially, but i'm not an alcoholic or something! Put that down exactly like that!" Avery half-growls, her impatience getting the best of her, and she hates even more that Harper seems pleased by that.
As Harper takes her time writing, Avery looks at the watch on her wrist. She'll run late if the good doctor doesn't pick up her pace.
"Are we done?" Avery asks, not bothering to hide her irritation anymore.
"Two more questions." Harper grins at her. "Do you often mix alcohol and your usual drugs?"
"...Sometimes, so what? You said it'd be fine if the dosing was on the low side." Avery grumbles.
"It's usually fine, don't worry." Harper shakes her head. "Last question, how do you usually feel when you do that?"
She stares at Avery intensely, making her feel even more reluctant to answer.
"I feel fine." Avery replies, but Harper doesn't even bother writing it down. She wants details, clearly. "I don't know, i feel relaxed, my head feels lighter for a moment. Is that what you want to know?"
"A little more, if you will." There's a glint of something in Harper's eyes that Avery can't quite discern, maybe just a sick curiosity, or maybe something more dangerous.
"I... I get drunk easier. I guess. I suppose it makes me more willing to get drunk." Avery says, hoping that will satisfy the doctor, but she keeps staring behind her pink-tinted glasses, expecting even more. "Sometimes when i fall sleep like that and wake up i don't remember much, but it feels like a really good night's sleep."
Harper nods and quickly scribbles something, as Avery starts to tap her foot on the floor unconsciously, wanting to get out of there as fast as possible. When Harper looks at her again, there's an intensity in her gaze that wasn't there before.
"I have another offer to make." Harper says, her grin widening as she reached for the bottle behind her. "If you take one of those right now, i'll give you another £5000 discount."
Avery feels a chill run down her spine, something telling her that this would be a bad idea. The alarm on her phone goes off and warns her that lunch break is over, and she can't thank herself enough for setting it up earlier.
"No, i'm already late." She gets up, and Harper's smile fades a little. "I'll just pay for the samples, thank you."
Before she even finishes speaking, the money is already out of her wallet and being shoved in Harper's direction, but the doctor takes an awfully long time before reaching for the bank notes. There's an almost forlorn look on her face as she hands Avery the bottles.
"Next time i might make some ajustments." Harper says, sounding a bit defeated, though Avery knows it means it might get more expensive. Her smile is back shortly after, though. "Please tell me if it's any good."
"Yeah, yeah, i'll be in touch, thank you." Avery can't hide her relief to have ended that crazy negotiation.
The doctor's eyes fixate on her back as she leaves the office and closes the door maybe a bit too forcefully. It occurred to her, maybe a bit too late, that this might entice Harper's curiosity even more. With a shiver, she hoped that those little pills were enough to stop her from having nightmares about prodding, curious little needles and scalpels reaching for her forehead, trying to pick her head open like Harper always tried to do.
#dol avery#dol harper#dolgl#idk why i did this honestly i just like putting avery in situations. i also think she gets her downers from harper for legal purposes#also yay to harper for managing to be a creep to a woman 20 years her senior who is also a known creep. true STEM girlboss#will she ever manage to lure avery into a false sense of security she can use to her advantage? who knows!#maybe she just needs to lower some Awareness first :)#anyway i wrote this too quickly and didnt really review if theres any mistakes i'll fix it later soz
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it’s crazy how much having a safe place to be yourself and express your identity and personality and interests, both online and irl, can change your will to live. honestly.
#i came out to my fav professor/mentor today#it was kind of impulsive but idk#she’s just made me feel so safe and supported and cared ab#that honestly all i wanted to do was tell her#and hear what my new chosen name sounds like when she says it. idk.#anyway she was So incredibly receptive and understanding and supportive#like she said things i needed to hear that i didn’t even know i needed to hear#at one point she essentially reassured me that she doesn’t and won’t ever love me any less as a boy#and she immediately wanted to call me by my chosen name and use my preferred pronouns#and she kept telling me too that there’s no pressure or need to stress and that if i ever wanna adjust the name or pronouns i can#and that gender isn’t a fixed thing ofc#she told me that she’s proud of me too#god i’m so luckyyyy dude#i feel so loved and cared about#also i said in an email recently that i was looking for a part time job (like totally as a separate thing i mentioned bc of scheduling stuff#and totally unprompted today#she started talking to me about getting a paid position for me set up with some grant money ig??#which we were already tentatively planning on doing next semester#but bc she saw me say that she’s trying to get it set up now 🥺🥺#AGH i kinda love my life rn#but i’m so terrified to and im even more afraid to admit that#anyway so sorry this is an excessive amount of tags#silas speaks#vent#trans#transmasc#trans masc#transgender#queer#lgbtq+
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Wanting more homoeroticism in the tension between the show’s leads as the narrative introduces greater intimacy and higher stakes between them, especially in a landscape that lacks queer representation who isn’t a villain or dies within one or two episodes, but also recognizing that core values/motivation for these characters lie in their relationships with one of two major female characters in an on screen sausage fest where the only other woman is a morally reprehensible femme fatale and erasing and/or vilifying female leads in favor of conventionally attractive males is a common practice observed in fandoms that’s rooted in misogyny and justified under the guise of rejecting heteronormativity, thinly veiled double standards, or claiming the woman is simply not interesting enough and not wanting to bolster that mindset
#the worst of evil#you know who’s not interesting enough? haeryeon!! bibi’s acting the hell out of her and slaying while doing it#but idk anything besides she’s willing to subvert her dad for dick and values money over everything else#and also she’s hot which is great for me!! but also the male gaze#and I also get it - we don’t know much about euijeong in her limited screen time besides her relationships to junmo/kicheol#but she is given so many traits that are silently conveyed like compassion and bravery and sacrifice#she brought a fucking gun to her date with kicheol like the conflicts and motivations here are SO JUICY#her exasperation guilt and despair with the investigation; esp after listening to the voicemails#what’s the self respecting thing to do; do I still love my husband if he loses himself; can I continue a game I never wanted to play#at the cost of my life or my family’s life?#even though a lot of her choices are for her marriage she’s using whatever agency she has in her own terms#kicheol works to be an honest man and make a difference partly bc of her#not trying to place the burden of fixing men on her but ignoring her impact in the boys’ lives is wild#ship whoever you want hate whoever you want but don’t deride a woman just cuz ‘she’s in the way’ ya know#all this being said; kicheol bringing junmo home after he RAMPAGED seemingly on his behalf - literally who else is doing it like them#the yearning all around - I get it now; we need gangster mob!throuple to get any shit done around here (and for all 3 to stay alive 🫣🙏)#but the reality next week is gonna be so so bitter
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Makeup artist:.......... Are you nervous?
Baja: a little bit.... This isn't like in front of a studio audience right
Makeup artist: No sweetie, it's just a one-on-one interview.
Baja: that's good. Who are we interviewing?
Makeup artist: You're going to have to ask the show-runner, Mickey.
Mickey: let's go. Let's go. Let's go what takes so long putting powder on a face. He has perfect skin anyway. We had to get him to the dressing room. We start filming in a couple minutes
Makeup artist: I'm finished. Just need to map down some scales and he's...... All done. You're free to go sweetie
Baja: thank you
Mickey: So you must be then host of the show. Sorry I wasn't able to meet you sooner. I was on vacation. Oshi told me you're a really good candidate for this show. You seem to be competent you know your way around music....*sip* ..... Coffee?
Baja: I don't really drink that much coffee. I like tea though
Mickey: Green tea! *Snap*. .*snap*
Assistant: your green tea
Baja: thank you
Mickey: Well I know one thing for sure. She was right about the pretty face. Now as you get dressed head to the studio so we start filming promotional material Ramon should be there with you. After your interview which will count as the pilot
Tammy: Mickey listen I really think you should reconsider about not casting me for the show
Mickey: No....*sip*
Tammy: but I really think you should I mean I can at least be co-host. I'm great to be around! Tell him, baba
Baja: it's Baja
Mickey: No, we need to bring up the sea slug viewership
Tammy: I can be the second co-host
Mickey:....*sigh*...... Tammy listen to me. You didn't get the job all right. You just don't fit the criteria we need for this show and this channel. But hey you have other opportunities for other networks alright. You're pretty, you're bubbly and you have a nice rack. You can get a job anywhere with those qualities around here.... You're just not going to find it at this station
Tammy: but-
Mickey: goooooood byyyyyyyyyyyyyeeee Tammy!!
Security guard: Right this way ma'am
Tammy: Mickey!!! I'll have your fucking job!!
Mickey: we'll see you next week Tammy we're filming the season finale
Baja: she seemed pretty upset
Mickey: eh she'll get over it ... She's been in a couple of shows here and there on the network. She plays Kate the baby sitter on 'dock and dingy' ......*sip* ..... She'll be fine. Here Is your dressing room your clothes should be folded
Baja: alright... and I just head to set after
Mickey: yep your's and Ramon's chairs will be the brown arm chairs. The musician or celebrity will be sitting on the loveseat and will perform on the stage behind you
Baja: they're going to perform?
Mickey: yeah.. yeah they're starting their Solo career
_______________________________________________
Ramon: hey... You look good. They spruced up your wardrobe too
Baja: yeah. I wonder if we're able to take this home with us
Ramon: probably. I think it'd be easier just to keep in our dressing rooms for now. Keep our work clothes separate from our regular clothes. Feels like bad energy to mix them together.
Baja: how so?
Ramon: I mean this nice brand name stuff fancy designs, colors and a hefty price on it. It's nice but it isn't really me. It's what the studio and the producers want me to be and I rather keep that at work when. I go home I wear my regular off-brand jeans, my 8-year-old sweater and a pair of kicks with a hole in it. That's me. That's who I am. A regular person, I'm not above anyone and I don't want to feel like I am. Get what I'm saying
Baja: yeah... I get it. You don't want the job to change you
Ramon: exactly
Mickey: All right! Hitch you got the shot?
Hitch: Yeah I got it. We can use this for commercials
Baja: you were filming?
Mickey: Yeah yeah no worries. We just wanted to film you guys interacting. We didn't tell you cuz we wanted to look natural.
Hitch: we didn't have any mics on so we couldn't hear what you were saying so don't worry about it. I'm the director by the way names Hitch. Nice to meet you..
Baja: hello
Ramon: hey
Mickey: alright so we're going to start filming the show in 30 minutes. Kikura is their dressing room.
Ramon: Kikura from C-side?
Mickey: yeah
Kikura: sorry I'm late.. I tend to procrastinate when I'm getting ready for these types of things...... Not a good excuse but... yeah
Mick: Well that's perfectly fine. We'll be filming in a couple minutes this is Ramon and this is Baja. They're going to be the ones interviewing you
Kikura: hey
Hitch: while we wait for that, let's do some more advertisements
______________________________________________
Assistant: alright..... Advertisement 2 take one...[clap]
Baja: Hi my name is baja and I'm the new host of the inklab's new show 'music at midnight'.... Me and my new co-host Ramon
Ramon: sup
Baja: we're going to be interviewing musicians from all walks of life
Ramon: and different genres.
Baja: We're going to have nice conversations getting to know them, telling us some really cool stories.
Ramon: a show airs Thursdays at 11:30 p.m. can't wait to see you there!
Hitch: CUT!.... Great! We're going to do some more editing and maybe some reshoots on that but here is your intro You're going to do this during every episode you introduce yourself. You tell them what show they're watching and then you tell the current news what's going on in the music world..... You're also going to have to do that when you start writing articles for the blog, but we'll get to that later. ... Here's the monologue script. If you want to go off script feel free... Go over it, memorize We'll film in 15...... Oshi! Good to see you..*mwah mwah* how are you baby
Oshi: Hitch! Hope everything is going well I just wanted to check in on everyone
Hitch: yes... You're going to start filming soon so have a seat....(Pat...Pat)
Oshi: alright..... I'm getting a call.....*ugh*..............[inhale].....[exhale]...... Hi Shimi! How are you doing dear?... Are you having fun on the farm? I saw some pictures warabie posted on squidder. You look cute riding the tracker hehhe....... Well you only have one week left honey..... yes I've enjoyed my break..... The church? If that works for you honey I guess it gives you a purpose.........*sigh*...(Eye roll)....acting is also your purpose I know...how's warabie is he having fun?......well tell him to try to enjoy himself..............yes ...... alright good bye hun.............
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Shimi: hm.....
Merv: Shimi it's your turn to take the manatees out to graze, take your son with you. Noiji start up the tractor I need you to harvest the octoberries, ikkan pack up squidmelons and head into town. Koi would you help me harvest some of the squid lemons
Koi-koi: I'd love to
Merv: Cirrina sweetheart you said you're going into the city for a school project?
Cirrina: Yeah just for 2 hours. When I get back I'll feed the krill and clean out their coop
Merv: All right, be safe
Shimi: warabie help me load up the manatees
Warabie: yeah..... What were you calling Mom about?
Shimi: It's none of your concern she didn't let me talk anyway............
Warabie:... All right, the manatees are in (bump...bump).....
Shimi: alright...................
Warabie:............so what's mom up to at home?
Shimi: she's working on project O.E.T network
Warabie: that's nice she's been working on that for years
Shimi: *humpf*.... We've been working on for years.... Typical of her to go behind my back and do things without my permission or opinion
Warabie:...... Oooookkkaaay...........hm.................hey mahi
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Mahi: hey dude
Warabie: what's going on at home?
Mahi: nothing much. Baja got a new job...... stop!........ Yeah, he's going to be on TV now. That's pretty neat
Warabie: tv?!
Mahi: some talk show.... Midnight music...... Music at midnight something.....neta stop spawn camping!
Neta: I'm not spawn camping
Warabie: he got the job!? How did he get the job?!
Mahi: I don't know, I really haven't had time to talk to him. He's been in and out of the apartment for like days now..... cod damn it!.... Let me leave the base at least...... fuck!
Neta:hehehehehehehe... I'm sorry .hehehe
Mahi: sorry... Neta's being an asshole...uhhhhh...Baja honestly hasn't been here and when he is here he's just there to get dressed and then leave.
Warabie:*sigh*....... good for him... Guess he's going to be the new breadwinner
Mahi: hey so when are you coming home?
Warabie: end of the week I should be home
Mahi: great apartments too quiet and-Neta!
Neta: what?! What am I doing wrong? I'm just playing the game. It's not my fault you always end up in my range of sight. Get good at the game
Mahi:*huff*... Can you come home faster? I miss you
Warabie: aww I miss you too mahi.. I honestly want to go home too. This place sucks ......I'm tired of scooping Manatee shit and hauling crates of squidmatoes
Neta: ask him the question
Mahi: *ugh*........are you able to bring home fresh produce and milk
Warabie: I....... I'm going to have to ask ikkan's dad that
Shimi: we're here unload the manatees
Warabie: I got to go.... text you later..........
Mahi: bye..... I'm not playing with you anymore! I'm done with this game....
Neta: One more round. I want to get a gold badge on this weapon I'm two games away. You can be on my team this time
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Cirrina: .......this must be the address..........(Knock knock)
Bayou: Cirrina! You showed up!
Cirrina: yeah....hehehe sorry if I'm a little early ...
Bayou: no worries. Come in, come in you can use your shoes on the shelf right here. So what do you want to know about krillarney?
Cirrina: I'm just you know the origins and the history of krillarney...... You lived on the surface for most of your life, right? Is that true for most octolings here?
Bayou: yeah... Most of us here spent their whole lives on the surface though there are some who moved here who previously lived underground
Cirrina: Interesting......so... And did your family move here?
Bayou:...... I think you might get more information from my nan.... Nana!!....... You remember my Nana. from church?
Nana: yes!? Bayou? What is it love?.....oh... Dear the little girl from church. Nice to see you again sweetie
Cirrina: hello..
Bayou: Nan do you mind if she asks you a few questions?
Nana: I have no problems sweetie
Cirrina: It's just a couple questions .. . I'm doing a five-page essay on octarian history in other countries
Nana: wasn't that nice? Well what do you want to know dear?
Cirrina: uhhhh .... When did you move here
Nana: oh I have no idea sweetie It's been years...... The war started when I was around......10 of 11 years old. I lived with my two sisters in a small village My mother was a School teacher and my father passed away years ago.
Cirrina: *writing*
Nana at the time my village was not affected by the high tides but it was targeted with conflict over land and resources. Next thing you know, I was being drafted for the war along with my two sisters. They just turned 13. They never held a weapon before. My mother couldn't even imagine them going to war, it was only after the first bomb we decided to leave. We had to leave quickly so we weren't able to bring a lot. All we had to pack was whatever we could fit in our backpacks. I packed two dresses, pair of pants, three shirts and one skirt. I also packed my Adva doll she's the only toy I played with for years.
Cirrina: *writing*
Nana: My mother was good friends with a man who moved to our village before the war happened. He was a nice inkling man Mr. Doal he offered to help us leave. His son got drafted and passed away early in the midst of combat. He told us about a developing sovereign country called krillarney that was currently taking in anyone and everyone across the world who wanted to get away from the war
Cirrina: *write*..... So how did you get to krillarney
Nana: we were informed that there were fairies and ships offering to help people leave. We set our trip in the middle of the night and met up with Mr. Dole and other people who wanted to leave as well. The walk was 3 hours straight. No brakes, no rest until we made it to the coast and we got onto a ship. It was a squid beak ship if I remember, The S. S. Escargot. We sailed for a week to krillarney making several stops picking others in similar situations.
Cirrina: was it just inkfish who were escaping?
Nana: oh no there were so many people from so many walks of life on the ship. Urchins, fish, cephalopods, Crustaceans. So many were affected by this war. I remember seeing some still wearing their military uniforms. It was their only chance to leave and they took it
Cirrina: when you got to krillarney what was it like? Was different from how it is today.
Nana: Well I can tell you one thing we didn't have these malls, outlets or a nice studio apartment like I have now hehehe. .... When I first got here My mother could only afford a nice small house with two bedrooms. Our neighbor was young octoling and his wife was a bass. They were enlisted in the military for years. When the war started they were completely against it. They were planning on having kids at the time they couldn't do that if they were at war. Unfortunately they weren't able to have kids but they watched me and my sister so many times that they kind of saw us as their kids hehehe
Cirrina: *writing*...... Do you ever think about your old village? What happened to it?
Nana:............. Well....um..... Like I said at the time the high tides didn't affect my home but.............. Soon enough it was............. Everything was wiped out and everyone......... From what I know now....... The water levels have subsided and it is inhabitable but............ I just never went back. Everything I know about that place is gone. My home my toys.....some of my old friends
Cirrina:.... I'm sorry.......
Nana: it's alright love
Cirrina: ....... I think I asked enough questions
Nana: are you sure? I could tell you more
Cirrina: oh that's ok really.... I have enough to write my paper. I have to get home to do my chores
Bayou: alright..... Do you want me to walk you to the fairy dock?
Cirrina: (blush).... well........ok...
Bayou: great..... I'll be right back Nana
Nana: Come back safe
Cirrina:..........................
Bayou:...........................
Cirrina:..................
Bayou:..............you know we have tons of historical sites here if you ever want to check them out..... Add some photos for extra credit
Cirrina: that would be nice but I really need to get home
Bayou: we don't have to do it today.
Cirrina: I leave at the end of the week
Bayou: Well you can plan something for this week maybe Tomorrow maybe?....
Cirrina: I can see.... Yeah I think tomorrow would be good yeah..
Bayou: All right so why don't we meet up here again at 2:00 and I can take you to the lighthouse, The bridge of new beginnings and I can even take you to the museum
Cirrina: Great! It's a date! I mean....uh... No! It's not a date..... it's a day out....an outing yeah it's it's it's an outing we're going out......for the day! We're going out for the day
Bayou:..heheheheheh... Here's my number....... I'll text you tomorrow. See ya Cirrina!
Cirrina: bye..hehehehehe........*sigh*..........
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Assistant director: 'music at midnight'.... Introduction take three!.....(CLAP)
Hitch:go!
Baja: welcome, welcome! Welcome my name is Baja! And this is my co-host Ramon
Ramon: hey!
Baja: I'm very excited to say that this is the first episode of our very new show called 'music at midnight'. What is music at midnight? Well as the names in the title says we're going to be talking about music and it's going to be airing during midnight.
Roman: yep so while we sit here and talk and do interviews. You're going to be sitting on your couch or in your bed and your nice warm jammies.....
Baja: I wish we could wear pajamas
Ramon: Right? We should ask the exacts for a pajama day
Baja: hahahaha...(CLAP)..... All right, let's get started.... Today's music news....... But before we do that, who's who's with us today
Ramon: today we have Kikura sitting in our guest seat
Kikura: hey everyone
Baja: so we Kikura here today and there the guitarist for the band c-side and she's a part of another group riot act.....now Kikura is it true that riot act actually came before the band C-side?
Kikura: uh....oh my cod.......uh wow..... Yeah actually that is true. It did come before C-side... Technically yes but at the time it was not called riot act.... It was actually called 'no boys allowed' uhhehe.... We were in high school that was our original band.... We were in an all-girls school. We were just a couple of weird kids just screwing around... We were all in theater together and we used to hang out under the bleachers and I don't remember who mentioned it but one of us said "wouldn't be funny if we started a band and we had no idea how to play the instruments"....and heh That's how it really started
Baja: it started out as a bit?
Kikura: Yeah it started out as a bit. We started to borrow instruments from The music room and we started to play, used to write music together like we had our own group chat and everything ... It started to get serious during second year of school. It started out as a joke and then just kind of started to really get into it and we really just stopped seeing it as a joke and started seeing it as more of a hobby and soon after we started to book gigs, shows and sets in people's basements. It just kind of took off after that.
Ramon: so what made you join C-side?
Kikura: so C-side started after I met Beika it was a small underground club. He recognized me from my band and he was really excited to see me! He told me that he was a bass player and his old roommate was a drummer and they needed a guitar player. He had a couple songs that he's written and he wanted my opinion on it. He wanted to see if I was able to do a demo track for him.
Baja: *nods*
Kikura: a couple weeks of talking I went to the studio and I met Uotora... He's such a sweetheart oh my cod.... We did rewrites and we wrote some more music. We did some test tracks and 5 hours later I was officially a part of the band...
Baja: what was your first concert like.... You played in sesame hall as the opener for wet floor
Kikura: I was surprisingly calm during the whole show. Really thought I was going to panic and freeze up because this is the first actual concert like a concert concert like it wasn't just a group of people hehehe in a backyard. I remember the crowd wasn't that enthusiastic when we came up but after playing 'click bate' people really just started to really get into it and we just formed a fan base after that.
Ramon: are you still a part of that band? After you released your new album with riot act
Kikura: oh yeah definitely. I'm still a part of the band I'm not going anywhere. This ain't that kind of band. Do we treat each other with respect...hehehe...hm... But no this is just a side project. We all just started talking again and it's just a passion project we're just doing really
Baja: and speaking of passion projects, let's get to the news....Nami one of the members of beloved yet controversial bands front roe has enough that branching off and starting a solo career. Today on Inkstagram she announced that she's working on a new album and writing her own songs she even took a selfie of herself in the studio showing in the recording booth.
Ramon: I think nami's very underrated in the band. It's good to see she's getting out there
Kikura: I'm so happy that she is. I only met her two times. It was during the black square music festival and the seashore awards she is so nice, she's so kind and so pretty. We were talking and I brought up keeping my music in a notebook and she did the same thing too. She has several notebooks of music that she really wants to make but it doesn't really fit the sound of 'squid squad'..... Well I guess it's front roe now but she's kept those book for years... I truly hope she's putting those to good use
Baja: You know this actually isn't her first solo work. She worked on a soundtrack for 'high-rise falling 4'. It was a video game for the gamer boy x system.
Kikura: really?
Raman: Yeah I know that she composed background music for the menu and she also made The third boss Battle song. Man If they ever make the movie of high-rise falling
Baja: they are never going to make that movie.... It's always in production hell for years now
Kikura: I've only played the second and third game in that series, but I heard the movie is going to be starting off with The fifth installment and going backwards which doesn't make any sense
Hitch: what is high-rise falling? I don't know what that is. What are they talking about?
Oshi: It's just a game that these kids play. The audience will know what they're talking about
Ramon: they should bring her back for the movie. It would be really cool if she remixed her original tracks. I love that for him. I'm happy that she's making music. I'm really excited..... What else we have for the news
Baja: SashiMori are no longer doing fall tours or winter tours like they used to
Raman: oh?
Baja: So one of the members, Paul. He's no longer able to travel because he has school so they're going to have to do summer tours
Ramon: that makes sense.... I remember their last tour was during fall during spook fest. Everyone dressed up in costumes and during their last set, people were giving out candy.... Folks was handed a bucket before they got into the arena. it was good candy too like people were getting full size candy bars..... What type of candy do you like? I like gum.... You could never go wrong with gum..... Good flavor, good texture... And you can blow bubbles with it. What about you?
Baja: I enjoy chocolate... I love a good piece of chocolate..... Especially if it has a filling in it like marshmallow or something.....Kikura?
Kikura: I would say I'm a hard candy type of person.... I enjoy jawbreakers
Baja: really
Kikura: Yes, it lasts longer than most candies and..... Besides lollipops It is the only candy that is socially acceptable to take out of your mouth
Hitch: do we have any chocolate sponsors?
Oshi: no but I can get with the marketing team and see what we can do
[one hour of banter later]
Baja: Well folks that's our show! Thank you for being here for our first ever episode. The riot act album will be released on the 22 so make sure you check your local stores for it....now enjoy one of their debut songs 'No planned survivors'
[riot act performing in the back ground]
Mickey: what are the viewerships right now?
Assistant: Right now the viewerships are sitting at 89.4 million...and online..... only 20k views... But that number might rise in the next week
Mickey: [inhale].....[exhale]...... What do you estimate the viewership for ink lab plus?
Assistant: Well..... Judging from the viewership on TV and the viewership on the app we might be able to gain..................... 100 million first episode maybe even more...
Executive: I don't understand it! they talked about video games and then candy, went on a tangent about handbags and backpacks. How is this popular?! This is supposed to be about music and celebrities.
Oshi: Kids today aren't really all that interested in celebrities showing off their fancy cars, expensive clothes and lifestyle. They're bored at that and so are the newer artists. They just want to know who they are as a person....if knowing about their favorite candy and opinions on games keeps them engaged and interested in their music and our show I see no problem with it
Mickey: hmmmm.....
Hitch: I think we might need a meeting for this. I have an idea
Oshi: what's the idea
Hitch: we haven't had that much traction on the app for a while. instead of making a recorded video the next time we film we do a live stream and have the audience involved with the conversation
Mickey: I like that. Keeps the audience engaged and keeps the viewerships high. it saves money on editing
Hitch:......... These kids are going to make us a lot of money
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Neta had 12 kills in one match and 6 of them were mahi
lmao fish was fighting for their life @fish-at-fish-fish-resort
#Micky is also a shark#specifically a silky shark#Hitch is a Pickhandle barracuda#most who work in this type business are sharks and other predatory aquatic Life like barracudas piranhas and Bill fish#something something Hollywood something something it being a very cutthroat brutal and also predatory#Neta being an asshole maining a charger refusing to let anyone leave the base#squid break Splatoon ships are just old cargo ships#wow i wrote a lot I honestly should of broke it up into parts but what ever#I'm not shore if any of nana's back story contradicts any of the Canon Splatoon lore i honestly should of checked#i honestly wrote all that because I forgot about Cirrina's actual punishment and she needed to write something to help her grade#so she can go to her concert instead of summer school like she wanted#Cirrina going on her first date. yay! well I'm sorry not date outing it's just an outing not going out! just outing#i like writing realistic dialogue especially mundane conversations Idk if they interview came off as boring or not#i personally enjoy when interviews with celebrities are in a podcast format where they just talk about whatever and nothing really exciting#Baja has a very particular audience#autistics who also have an interest in music people you want to know more about their favorite musician#people who put on the show in the background so they can get their work or chores done#simps#me planting the first seed of a soon to be messy and very public divorce 👏🏾😈#mahi and neta playing Splatoon but it's not like the Splatoon we play its more like over watch or cod idk maybe team fortress 🤷🏾#Kikura is a lesbian and I think they should convince Nami to leave front row and be in riot act#they should also kiss and stuff#I know there's probably a little bit of spelling errors in this#especially in the#but it's 4:30 and this has been in my drafts for a week. I don't know longer than 2 days. I'll fix it later#ok I'm back I did some small edits#neta
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I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.
(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)
#been feeling anxious af ever since bc it's the first time I've been this firm in a reply and idk how they'll take it#there's underlying issues in inter-departmental communication that need fixing that cause these issues to happen again and again#but my boss is on parental leave and his substitute is sick not that she cares or is up for doing her job where communication is concerned#so there's no real sense in addressing that rn esp by me who's only been there since June. but it does frustrate me a lot#anyway. I'm sure I'll get over this too. but yeah.. ppl not thinking things through for the two mins it takes to create an account#or the twenty seconds it takes to check if one already exists before creating a new one#or the minute it takes to check if folks still have an active contract past their time working in your department before deleting an accoun#just jfc. put in a smidge of effort and five mins total and save the rest of us from spending half a day to fix your mistake#oh well. if I get a pissy response I'll just blame it on being new as an intern and being too motivated and idealistic I guess#god forbid I expect people to do their jobs thoroughly or with at least a singular thought..#anyway. I feel like I'm allowed to be grumpy abt this since we are the folks who end up having to fix this shit#and by we I mean pretty much mostly me at this point bc one colleague is sick atm. my boss barely has time for this and is on leave#and my other colleague only works half time so I'm the one who's been handling most of these over the past month or so#which.. is still insane considering how I'm a goddamn intern who shouldn't even have admin rights tbh#but without them I couldn't do anything at all lol so here I am. nice that they trust and believe in me I suppose#that's why I try to do my best. (who am I kidding that's always the case anyway)#but yeah. definitely a 50% staff support job and only 50% of the other important things that need doing rn it's more like 90/10#and it's funny how I still dread my two hours of hotline. but every time the line is too busy I still jump in#we are also only 6 people atm out of 10 and three of us are still in training. and one of the trained folks had to come back in mid time of#next week we'll likely be 4#depending on if our substitute boss lady is back.. not that I'd look forward to it. she's a mess and she's been horrible to deal with latel#sure. she's stressed. but she's either snapping at me when I ask abt shit I can't know yet or she's ignoring me. great basis for team work.#so honestly I'd rather she not return on Monday. esp not if she's gonna spread her germs everywhere#but now sleep. sorry for the rant. it's certainly been quite the month since I returned from my own wisdom tooth rated sick leave..#gotta be up again in 6.5 hrs so I can be at work at 6 to let the electrician in. I'm gonna sleep so hard over the weekend I stg#a day in the life of..
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The universe loves me
#i can get the a i need for my online class after all!!!!!!#eeeeeeeeeeeeee#i just have to do 2 things and I'm gonna get the a#then I'll get my full amount of funds instead of half#I'm so excited#i mean first i have to do things for my in person class for that a but that one is super easy#this is such a gift and i don't know what deity did this#i don't worship any luck deities or ones associated with money or fortune or knowledge so idk#like all of mine are chaos and revelry and trickery other than one#but that one is like motherhood and stuff and i worship her to get the comfort of a divine mother#anyway whatever deity decided to blast my ass with fortune i love you#also i got what i needed to up my financial aid for the upcoming school year so double fortune#I'm vibrating with excitement#i may not be getting anywhere in my job search but my bank account won't be negative and I'll have the grades i wanted#life is beautiful today#i also got my doctor to switch me to gel for my t so i won't have a bad reaction hopefully and i see the gastroenterologist tomorrow#i'll get the swallowing problem dealt with soon even if i have to get a camera shoved down my throat again#and my college is doing a free tuition thing that while i don't think i qualify for will still be really good for other people who need it#and my dad leaves town for 2 weeks in the morning#I've just had a ton of good things happen in a row#also i got to see the living tombstone on Saturday and i swear that fixed the funk i was in from what i had to do last week#and i learned sweet tea doesn't taste like pure sugar so it's actually decent#damn I'm feeling good#anyway happy rant over#go be gremlins#and as always#drink water you heathens
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@gothamsaved
gently places— ✿
FRIENDSHIP. childhood friends / work buddies or coworkers / family friends / friends with benefits / smoking buddies / adventure buddies / fake friends / recently friends / party buddies / friendship of need / dying friendship / circumstantial friendship / partners in crime / old friendship / [ your muse ] is the good influence / [ your muse ] is the bad influence / [ my muse ] is the good influence / [ my muse ] is the bad influence / opposites attract / ride or die / frenemies / roommates or flatmates / penpals / exes to friends / enemies to friends / other
ROMANCE. childhood sweethearts / [ your muse is mines ] childhood crush / [ my muse is yours ] childhood crush / exes / exes to lovers / forbidden lovers / highschool sweethearts / secret relationship / opposites attract / long distance / unrequited [ from your muses side ] / unrequited [ from my muses side ] / unrequited [ from both sides ] / skinny love / friends to lovers / enemies to lovers / spurious relationship / power couple / newly entered / soulmates [ metaphorical ] / soulmates [ literal ] / awkward / turning toxic / toxic love / cheating [ on your muse ] / cheating [ with your muse ] / other
FAMILIAL. siblings [ half ] / siblings [ step ] / [ my muse ] is an older sibling figure to your younger sibling figure / [ my muse ] is a younger sibling figure to your older sibling figure muse / [ my muse ] is a parental figure to yours / [ my muse ] is a child figure to your muse / guardian figure / legal guardian / adoptive child / foster child / [ your muse ] is taken under mines wing / [ my muse ] is taken under yours wing / other
ANTAGONISTIC. dangerous to each other / dangerous to others / unpredictable / rivals / petty / developing into sexual or romantic tension / based off family matters / based of off circumstance / based of professional matters / based off misunderstanding or lies / conflict of ideology / betrayal / hero - villain dynamic / enemies / fight club / friends turned enemies / lovers turned enemies / exes turned enemies / other
( pre — established relationship )
#i. ( ooc ) : backstreet's back alright#i. ( ask ) : things the birds tell me#gothamsaved#okay listen. i have a lot of feelings about ro's b.atman verse#and the VERY LOOSE understanding i have of some comic elements#but basically she gets asked to join the court of owls#because her parents were a part of it#but her mom is dead and her dad is basically awol#so they need someone to take their place for her family#and ro thinks she can fix g.otham from the inside#because she is full of hubris#and also does not want to know what will happen if she says no to them#there are so many avenues here#just idk whatever the fuck two rich kids with daddy issues and Complexes got going on
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legitimately what the fuck was that
#ig im dissapointed lmao#sorry most of it i just kind of expected (bram regaining his body and stopping the vampires. fyodor dying bc there isnt really anything els#you can do with him. dazai and chuuya both alive)#mostly i wish aya awakened an ability give her oneee also i want to see how they manifest#idk we'll see soon where this goes ig but 1. i really wish fukuzawa had just died alongside fukuchi and 2. that there would be some calmer#chapters more focused on political repercussions rather than more fighting but the 2 hours later thing isnt really pointing to that huh#ill have to reread this arc at some point bc fukuchis and fyodors plan got so convoluted i was barely following it#and also 1. what abt sigma do they just. leave her there#i mean surely not bc she has info on fyodor but dazai really just did not care#and 2. yeah i wish fukuzawa died but now that he didnt. does he???? just keep the one order#and wheres that fucking page#and whats exactly on it#bc i dont think they can just rewrite anything 1. they dont know how much space is on it and theyll need a lot to fix this mess#2. god knows if they even can do anything or if theres some condition written in already thatd stop them#also asagiri for the love of god get into anticapitalism bc you cant just go into criticing states and military without talking about it#and i still need the hunting dogs dead even if i know its likely not going to happen#but how are you going to go all “absolute power corrupts” and “omg fukuci dont create a military state” and then just leave the super cops#running around and getting redeemed bc “they mean well” yeah they do but it doesnt matter#they are complicit in the state violence THEY ARE state violence#asagiri pls i can show you theory you havent even dreamed of#txt.
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Started thinking about the Amanda Waller + Ben Turner relationship again.... fuck, I'm gonna need a minute
#I JUST- SHDIAUDJSHDSHEYEYRYRYRY guys. guys#i know none of you see my vision and thats okay. i will make you see my vision. i will force you to see my vision. i will-#like jesus fucking christ oh my god. its so interesting and gives me so many emotions and just!!!#i know im not making sense bc none of my moots are sui sq fans and also like half of the content fucking me up specifically here is in my#head because i cant stop thinking about my absolute power fix it au but like!!!!!!!#also the fact i have a fix it for a comic that isnt out yet is so funny to me. its literally fucking real though. god knows we need it#may my own content carry me through the dark times (extreme villain waller arc)#anyways this fucks me up so bad you dont even know. someday ill actually explain it#dc hire me to write a suicide squad ongoing PLEASE. i could do it so good it would be so fucking good dc PLEASE 😭😭😭😭😭😭#also like this isnt me shipping them btw. like 110% not that. just to clarify.#i wouldnt even call it a friendship bc like. theyre not friends really. he has the most equal dynamic with her i would say but it still isnt#equal. shes v much his boss even though they have an understanding and respect there#like she believes and trusts in him much more than anybody really even himself. like she sees the good man and the leader even when he#doesnt. but she isnt nice about it. and there is a lot of conflict between them when there needs to be#like as much as ben is “wallers man”--the team leader she wanted from the beginning before rick flagg pushed his way in#ben i would say is still a very moral person even when lost and unsure of himself and his goodness (which is like one of his main things)#like i feel like while amanda can lean very into a “the ends justify the means” mindset in her worse moments and do bad things to get#herself out of a corner ben has like a deep and meaningful understanding of how the choices of your methods and how you act can weigh on you#like even though he was brainwashed and whatnot (thats still the story right? i cant remember) he holds a lot of guilt and baggage over his#actions and i think is able to temper amanda's worse tendencies in terms of that by calling her out when he recognizes that behavior#idk. i just really think that amanda waller and the suicide squad as a whole has lost its way without a more moral authority presence there.#like someone who can call her out and keep them more on track. which i really thing ben is and could be#i just very much am interested in their dynamic and how that would look like as equals and how i think they could help each other.#which ofc is what my wip is about and revolves around#blah#sui sq
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i haven't been to class or campus in a few days bc i'm having a tough time and i'm kind of upset none of my friends have noticed or reached out
#i don't think it's healthy or fair to like withdraw to make people reach out and stuff#but i stopped going to class for other reasons#and idk i'm upset no one noticed#or is reaching out#they shouldn't have to but like#i frequently get anxious and doubt their my friends#and tbh they're involved in drama where they're not treating someone who's probably neurodivergent well#and they know i'm autistic so really it's only a matter of time before i become the person they don't trest well#especially with#idk with how one of them reacted to someone else in the group talking about how adhd executive function stuff#can make it hard for him to shower so's he's got all these idk coping mechanisms in place#and she was just so disgusted by that#and her disgust was all i could think about this past few days bc i wasn't showering from depression#idk one of my friends from home who i love dearly and am confident that we're actually friends#has talked about how this group of people aren't the greatest#snd yeah#they have a lot of communication flaws i don't like (beyond this stuff)#and i just don't understand why i'm so desperate to be their friend#when i'm just a little to the left of someone they already hatee#and i've been trying to fix how i interact with the person they hate#bc wanting to be this group's friend so bad resulted in me being a terrible person to the one they hate#idek if this is coherent i'm sorry#i'm confused. i don't understand why i feel the need to be their friend so bad when they haven't even noticed i'm gone#and i'm so ashamed of how i acted towards the other person#and i'm trying to be better but like that doesn't take away from what i've done#but also this entire thing is incredibly stupid of me bc i feel physically ill when people tell me they worry about me#so like why do i even want them to reach out to me???#i cried when my dad texted me that he's worried about me today#and i badically ran away and left campus when someone else asked#sorry this is a massive vent i'm probably gonna delete this later i just feel so off rn
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#I gotta vent for a fucking second cause holy shit#my one doctor wants me to try therapy cause I have depression and anxiety and I’m unmedicated#everything they tried gave me really bad side effects and the side effects so yeah#and personally I’m not really interested in therapy#I actually think it might make me worse and I’ve been doing better lately anyways#but the doctor performing my hysterectomy is the one who wants me to try it and I’m afraid she’ll deny my surgery if I say no#so whatever I’ll give it a try I figure#literally everywhere here is not taking new patients 🫠#everywhere I’ve tried has been a no so I messaged my primary care doctor and asked him cause he originally treated my mental health#and all the therapists he usually recommends aren’t taking new patients either but he gives me the phone number for a place to try#fUCKING HORRIBLE#the place has a 1 star review so you know we’re off to a bad start 🫠#I call anyways and the person is like ‘oh yeah we can take you I just need your email address to send you the paperwork’#give to her and proceed to not get any emails from this place until she calls me back and asks for my email address again#somehow they completely butchered multiple time even with me spelling it out phonetically and it is not a hard email address#literally was on the phone for like 20 mins doing this#I finally get the paperwork and not only is it 45 pages long (and half of it I’m questioning) but the computer won’t let me fill it out#call them back again and get told oh it must be technical errors which like I get happen but it takes them two more hours to fix#and it still wasn’t even fully fixed it wouldn’t let me add my signature to anything so like#idk I sent it back and told them that! hopefully they let me sign in office#but also like the paperwork was such bullshit?#it had their prices and cancellation policy in it four times#and like half the stuff I feel like was not relevant for therapy to know?#also it’s absurdly expensive and I def can’t afford it with my upcoming surgery#so I guess I’m gonna go once or twice and then be like yeah I can’t afford to keep coming#honestly I’m not impressed with the place at all and feel like alternatively it might be me going ‘yeah this isn’t working bye’#the fucking paperwork was overly complicated and long for no reason#and it gave me so much fucking anxiety to fill out 🙃#I feel like places that are offering mental health services should not be this anxiety-inducing to try to be seen?#anyways I’m not holding my breath but wish me luck? :/
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"give me a beer, a lullaby, and a word in my ear" -guy at a speed dating event in my dream
#dream log#also had a dream that this green alien came up to me on the street and like wanted me to pick it up and take it somewhere#the like video game objective changed to#changed to go home#but i didnt know where that was so i just started running#but as i. running the alien is like bouncing and it starts blushing#and later when i put in down to kind ageg my bearings its like super wet#between the legs and im like. oh man i think i need to fuck this thing#and i know theirs a game mechannic where you can have sex in bushes and stiff but im like 'no ill just go home first' but when i pick the#alien back up i get a 'failed objective' notification cause i never made it home i guess :(#and another dream. i was back in middle school math. there was a seat that was right infront of and right next to two people i was friends#with plus super close to my crush (other side of my friend) and there was a guy sitting there#but he was like. literally a fly. so i snapped and he just dropped dead.#and i got to sit there. my friend then was like “see this?” and pointed to her lip#and i wa slike “yeah” even though i didnt see anything#and she was like “you can hide a lot of your burdens but you cant hide a hickey” and i was like. man. am i supposed to do somehting sbout#that? idk im pretty sure this is a dream. did she actually say this to me before? am i supposed to do somehting now?“. but then the dream#ended#THEN these are out of order but then i had a dream i was in some sort of summer camp thing? people kept going home. my friend M. went home#home and left me a bunch of her clothes. one of the guys asked some sort of question about sleeping with him. and i was like “no? lol.”#then i invited a different guy to come watch me change and that first guy was i guess also in the room and was like “you know people can se#you through the window right?“ and i was like ”duh. its ohio. thats kinda the point.“#so. whatever that one means.#THEN last one THEN my cousin drove me to an abandoned trailer to explore and it had “too lo” or something spray painted on it or somehting#so then he finished the word to say “too long” or somehting of that nature. and then spray panted the handle of the door blue#and we went in side but the inside was all done up? like really fucking fancy#the kitched was completely lainted in this van gogh style and my cousin goes “this isnt haunted... its fixed up.”#so wel left. i think be showed me something else before that too but i dont remember#in the summer camp one i spent a long time trying to find these snake/pomegranate earings? they were blue abd green
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