#so whatever I’ll give it a try I figure

[niniwritesxo]

‘you thirsty?’

kang dae-ho x fem reader

summary:

daeho does something unintentionally attractive and the reader is trying their hardest to keep it together.

——————————————————————————

You were sitting on your bunk, trying to pass the time by tying and untying knots in a scrap of rope you’d found. The waiting between games was unbearable, and the only thing worse than the boredom was the anxiety gnawing at your stomach.

Across the room, Dae-ho was leaning against the wall, talking to one of the other players. You tried not to watch him, but your eyes kept drifting his way. It wasn’t your fault he had this annoyingly magnetic presence, standing there with his broad shoulders and that infuriating smirk he always seemed to wear.

Then it happened.

The other player handed him something, a bottle of water with the cap screwed on too tight. Without a word, Dae-ho took it, wrapped his hand around the bottle, and twisted the cap off with a casual flick of his wrist.

It shouldn’t have been a big deal. It was just a bottle of water. But the way his forearm flexed, the way his jaw tensed for half a second before relaxing, it was enough to make your brain short-circuit.

You immediately looked away, your cheeks burning. What the hell is wrong with me?

“Hey,” Dae-ho’s voice snapped you out of your spiraling thoughts.

You glanced up to find him standing in front of you, holding out the water bottle. “Thirsty?” he asked, his tone casual.

You stared at him, your mind still stuck on the moment from earlier. “What?”

“The water,” he said, raising an eyebrow. “You’ve been staring at me for, like, five minutes. Thought maybe you wanted some.”

‘’I wasn’t staring!’’ you blurted, far too loudly.

His lips quirked into a half-smile, and he crouched down so he was eye-level with you. “You sure? Because it definitely felt like staring.”

Your face grew impossibly hotter, and you snatched the bottle from his hand just to give yourself something to do. “I was just… zoning out.”

“Zoning out, huh?” he said, his tone dripping with amusement. “Interesting coincidence that you happened to zone out right when I opened the bottle.”

You took a sip of water to avoid answering, but his knowing smirk made it clear he wasn’t going to let it go.

“Didn’t realize opening a bottle was so fascinating,” he teased, leaning his forearm on the edge of your bunk.

“It’s not,” you muttered, refusing to meet his gaze.

“Then why are you blushing?”

“I’m not blushing,” you lied, but the warmth on your face said otherwise.

His smirk widened, and he tilted his head, studying you like you were the most interesting puzzle he’d ever encountered. “Huh. You really are blushing. What’s got you so flustered?”

“Nothing!” you snapped, setting the bottle down with a little too much force.

Dae-ho leaned in slightly, his voice dropping to a low murmur. “You sure about that? Because I think I know.”

Your heart skipped a beat, and you froze, wondering if he’d figured it out. But instead of saying anything, he leaned back with a smug grin, clearly enjoying your discomfort.

“Whatever it is,” he said, standing and stretching lazily, “I’ll take it as a compliment.”

You glared at him, though the effect was ruined by the way your face was still burning. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

“Too late,” he called over his shoulder as he walked away, leaving you to stew in your embarrassment.

You groaned, burying your face in your hands. You’d never live this down.

[sugarushwriting]

ot7 vampire — human blood bank

s2, p10

adult content featured

this may or may not be a sneak preview into a spinoff involving skz 😊

this is the last part! i had started writing a part 11 and last part but couldn’t figure it out so human blood bank, s2 ends here! — [not proof read]

you were in awe at this world around you. it’s almost like you’ve stepped into a new dimension. dark and gloomy, but inviting. castles lined up, feeling like an academy of some sort. like a boarding school.

you’ve been here a few hours, chan giving you a tour of the most important parts. jay annoyed behind him that your attention is all on chan and his clan.

you’ve seen the workout and defense trainings ran by leader of the guards and protectors, seo changbin. he was a buff guy and you couldn’t help but poke at his bicep. lee minho, vampire you have accustomed to, helps out with the classes as well.

you’ve seen the class led by lee felix, healer and fairy. he teaches medicine and support on how to help others that are hurt.

han jisung, werewolf, and kim seungmin, vampire, run a music class for fun. you’ve also learned they’re both part sirens which is why their voices are so entrancing.

hyunjin teaches fencing and classes involving weapons with chan at times.

“what about jeongin?” you asked.

“he just does whatever. makes sure the newbies stay out of trouble.”

“maybe ni-ki should’ve came here.” you said.

you, jay, and sunghoon followed chan up to the main castle. “is this your house?” you asked in awe.

“something like that. not my main, personal home. that, no one will see other than my inner circle.” chan explained

“why? have a torture chamber or something?” you snickered as a joke but chan turned to you with a straight face, then a smirk.

“maybe.”

you stood still as the three walked ahead of you. “coming sweetheart?” chan asked.

jay’s eyes were twitching. sunghoon was internally laughing knowing chan was teasing jay on purpose. jay wouldn’t dare try and fight chan. not with his inner 7 around him. heck, chan doesn’t even need assistance.

“where’s ni-ki, eunchae, and the others?”

“probably with jeongin creating mischief.” chan replied. “anyway, why don’t you come into my office.”

chan opened the door to a huge ass office, lined with books on books. “are these readable?”

“yes. but not fun to read.”

“what do you mean?” you asked curiously.

“it’s mainly history. century old history.”

“eh, i’ll find a way to enjoy it while you men figure out how to make sure i don’t die.” you said and frowned towards jay.

hours later, as the three discussed, you were engaged in the mountains of century old books. learning more about the mythical creatures that surround you. learning about hierarchy. learning in this world, things aren’t black and white, and almost everything has a consequence.

learning about bang chan. if he was destined to mate, where’s his love? you bit your lip, as you read on in the book hoping to find something.

your inner nosy self came about, and you decided to go to chan’s desk as the men were out trying to find a powerful witch or warlock. saying something about the most powerful was giselle with the aespa sisters. they left you behind so you wouldn’t run your energy down.

bingo. you found a journal. multiple actually. the most recent from 1912!? the earliest from 1827. fuck, how old is chan?

“he’s very old. and doesn’t like people meddling in his personal things.” you whipped around seeing seungmin.

“how’d you know—?”

“i can read your mind.” he smiled widely. “now put the journals back before he kills all of us.”

you swallowed but complied. “do you know about chan’s love life?” you began asking but seungmin turned around. you ended up following him.

“oh, the pup is following.” he sighed.

“please! i read alpha males could possibly die without a mate? what about chan? he gives alpha vibes but i have never seen him with someone.” you rattled off.

“that’s not my business to tell.”

“aw come on seungmin! you seem like the type that likes to gossip!”

“you have me incorrect.”

you stood in your spot and pouted. “please?”

“why don’t you just ask me if you’re so curious?” you heard chan speak from behind you.

there he stood with jay and sunghoon, with another woman with a hood up. she removed her hood, revealing her long dark hair.

she walked up to you, no words, and grabbed your hand, hers cold as ice. “she’s weakening. we don’t have anymore time.” the woman turned her head to the men behind her. “we’ll have to go against the ritual and moon. beg for forgiveness.”

“you heard her!” sunghoon snapped. “you’ll be begging on your knees for forgiveness dumbass!” sunghoon snarked to jay.

“chan, do you have an empty space we won’t be bothered? possibly an atreum?” chan nodded. “great, i will beckon giselle, winter, and karina to come quick. gather felix and have him come as well.”

“who are you?” you asked, wondering who was this woman with ice cold hands.

“im ning-ning.”

you paced in the office of chan’s as you waited for the girls—witches—to finish setting up.

you did feel weaker. you felt as if you were losing a part of yourself.

“if you keep pacing, you’ll weaken yourself even more.” chan sighed.

you stopped, turned to him, and asked, “what happened to your love? your mate, if you all still call them that?”

chan’s heart sped thinking about his past lover. it still hurt, even centuries later. “she was killed by an enemy. a hunter.”

you took in a deep breath. “oh my goodness, chan—,”

he nodded. “yeah, it still hurts, but im okay.”

“everyone deserves a second chance at love! have you tried? what do you do when you know—you get the itch you need to scratch?”

chan chuckled. “i have a hand.”

“oh, well, uh,”

“and i will have a second chance. she may have passed on, but im just waiting for her to come back to me.”

“come back as in?”

“yes reincarnation.”

you smiled, but just then, your hand went to clutch your chest in staggering pain. a quick frown came on your lips. you heard voices around you but couldn’t make them out or what they were saying. some voices even seem distant. like not on this earth.

suddenly, you started coughing up blood uncontrollably, falling to your knees on the ground.

again, deep screams came from around you. panic. crying. yelling. footsteps. your vision became blurry. white. you couldn’t see anything.

maybe you screamed. you at least tried to, anyway. your neck burned. the mark burned. your whole body felt on fire.

“please. please. please.” you mumbled out. you didn’t want to die. you didn’t want to forget your boys.

“43 fucking hours!” jay yelled, throwing a glass cup, full of whiskey at the wall. “she hasn’t woken up in 43 hours!”

“all because of you.” ni-ki snickered.

“would you relax? the good thing she isn’t dead! the aespa sisters and felix are keeping a close eye on her.” sunghoon stated.

“fuck!” jay tugged at his hair.

all 7 of your boys were gathered in chan’s office, talking about what happened. your body got so weak, you had less time than anticipated. they had rushed you to the atreum where the aespa sisters had candles, herbs, and other things sitting around your body. hoping the earth, moon, would heal you. forgive jay for his sins against authority.

sunghoon was right. you weren’t dead, but you weren’t exactly alive either. you were in the in between. it was up to you, your soul, your ancestors to choose the path you either continue to take or change.

“what if she becomes a hunter?” sunoo spoke up.

“oh please she can barely stand up right, let alone try to kill one of us.” ni-ki teased. he was trying to ease the tension of everyone. they understood where he was coming from, but it was hard.

“why don’t you all go to the dining hall and find some food? something other than blood.” minho suggested. “all of you.” he narrowed his eyes at jay and sunghoon.

“sitting here worrying isn’t going to make the situation any better.” seungmin added in. “let’s go, i’ll take you where we eat.”

reluctantly all 7 of them followed seungmin and minho, leaving chan behind with changbin and hyunjin.

just as the boys left, giselle came into the room. “she’s alert, but confused.”

“her path?”

“still unclear, but looks like she won’t be a hunter.”

“could she become a witch?” changbin asked, cracking his knuckles.

giselle sighed. “still unclear.”

karina came beside giselle and they shared a look.

“what?” chan asked.

“we think it’ll be best for the ultimate vampire to try and feed her his blood.”

“you mean me?” chan asked with a squeak and pointed to himself. jay would not go for that.

karina added, “you would be the last resort, yes. but we were thinking of starting out with ni-ki. he is a special vampire. their bond is different than hers with the other guys.”

hyunjin asked nervously, “would she be turned into a vampire? i know her bloodline may prevent her from, but could that be so twice in a row?”

giselle then added, “we don’t know, but it’s best we try.”

chan through his mind asked jeongin to bring ni-ki back to the main castle as soon as possible and to not alert any of the others. chan could trust jeongin will make up an excuse of wanting to play a prank.

in no time, jeongin and ni-ki arrived back at the main castle, and was told of the witches plans.

ni-ki hesitated, but would do anything to protect you. he found the four witches and felix surrounding you in the atreum, chan and his guys right outside the door.

felix handed ni-ki a sharp knife, as winter talked ni-ki through feeding you.

with ease, he cut himself, and held his forearm against your lips as his blood dripped into your mouth. since you weren’t be turned, you didn’t latch on like most would.

your eyes fluttered open, turning red for a quick second before they went back to normal. ni-ki removed his forearm, felix immediately tending to you.

suddenly you got the most painful headache, grabbing your forehead. ni-ki felt the same. “fuck!”

“now your imprint with ni-ki has saved you.”

ni-ki and you whipped your head to the witches. “im—imprint?” you stuttered out.

ni-ki looked at you in disgust. you looked back at him with equal disgust.

“remove that look off your face, you turd!”

“im fucking imprinted with her?” ni-ki asked in disbelief. the girls and felix exchanged looks then laughs. “i want a redo.”

“it was either imprinting with ni-ki or chan.” winter explained.

“i would’ve rather taken my chances imprinting with chan!”

after your strength came back within a few minutes, you all walked out to the big room where chan, jeongin, hyunjin, and changbin waited.

“wait until jay finds out i imprinted with you.” ni-ki sighed. little did he know, they had just walked through the door.

“you did what!” jay yelled. the mark on your neck was healed and gone, yet your smell was still strong of jay’s clan.

“i just saved your human blood bank, you’re welcome!” ni-ki said.

chan explained that the imprint between you and ni-ki were out of protection not romantic feelings. chan had also explained with this, senses are heightened even more.

“you mean—,”

you groaned, “don’t tell me this fucker will be able to hear me doing the dirty!”

[trustywukkiii]

JOLLIBEE DATE JOLLIEBEE DATE

JOLLIBEE DATE | LAIOS TOUDEN (sfw)

synopsis — curious on how to spend your lunch together, laios recommended a special restaurant you haven’t been to in a while. excitedly and proudly, you decided to show him the ropes of a place that showed off your filipino roots. (laios x gn!filipino!reader)

content warnings — public displays of affection

word count — 2.2k words

author’s note — this is kind of self-indulgent since i’m filipino myself! i also tend to enjoy introducing jollibee with my friends who haven’t tried them! if you’re filipino, i hope this somewhat resonates with you! and if not, i hope it inspires to check the restaurant out sometime! hope you enjoy reading!

Laios has always been open-minded when it came to food. Whether it be from another culture, or a completely raw parasite from the bowels of a squid. Nevertheless, his attitude has always endeared you.. and never failed to surprise you every time.

“What was that place called again?” Laios innocently asked, his mind wandering. You two have been brainstorming a place to eat out for lunch. You weren’t sure what to suggest, so your lovely boyfriend offered. “You know, the one you share pictures of when you’re eating with your family? I’ve heard good things about their fried chicken! I’d like to try, if that’s okay with you.

Damn right it was. Hell, you were excited. Nothing made you prouder to be Pinoy than seeing others try out such a staple in Filipino fast food. Especially Laios of all people! Something tells you deep in your gut that he’d love it.

Thankfully, there was your local Jollibee just a few minutes away from home. It had those big posters of families eating with big smiles on every wall, you could hear a mixture of Filipino and English amongst the customers and staff, and most especially, you could smell that tasty nostalgic smell from the kitchen at the back of the cashier.

You hoped Laios didn’t notice, but you were carefully watching his every reaction upon entering the place. And as per usual, Laios never disappoints.

“Woah! Is that—?!” His eyes brightened upon falling onto the big red and yellow jolly mascot that entertained the kids. “Judging based off of the wings, it’s an insect. And it also has stripes on its hind. Is it a bee?”

“Correct, big guy.” You gleamed at his enthusiasm. “Hence, why he’s called ‘Jolli-bee.”

“That makes sense!” He smiled as he held his chin.

To be honest to yourself, Laios had a fair resemblance to the big bee chef. Both have that cute cheeky open-mouthed grin, the soft round face, and this warm feeling of inexplicable hunger you get when looking at them. Laios has always been a great cook and you’ve loved every meal he served, and Jollibee just reminds you of that nostalgic enjoyment you got out of eating such savory fast foods.

“What would you recommend?” He looked at you as you both stood in the waiting line.

You pointed towards the bright and long menu hanging from the ceiling. “You sure you don’t want to check out the menu first?” Admittedly, you’d love to pick for him. But you wanted to give Laios a chance at that freedom to try out whatever he wants. “You’re the one trying the food out after all.”

“But I trust you!” Laios squeezed your hand as you two slowly approached the cashier. “And you know the food here best— Surprise me. Please? I’ll pay for the food.”

Oh, how could you ever say no to such a thoughtful man. You squeezed his hand back and grinned excitedly. “Nuh uh. It’s my treat! Save us a seat while I order our food, okay?”

You know the man best. You could see it in his calculating eyes as he’s thinking on how to repay you anyway. Perhaps he’ll buy you more of those cute figures of that favorite show you like. He always loved supporting your interests such as you do his. “Alright. I’ll wave you over.”

The two of you eventually settled by a table at a comfy corner. While waiting for the food, Laios would glance around at the other customers. He’d take a peak at what they were eating. There were a variety of burgers, buckets of chicken, and a wide array of drinks.

“You know,” Laios whispered your name. “The color palette of the restaurant reminds me a lot of McDonalds. So much red and yellow, it kinda gives you that hungry effect.”

“Huh, I kinda noticed that as well.” He’s such a nerd for details.

Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!

“Ah, food’s ready,” you indicated from the small machine on the table.

“I’ll pick up the food!” Laios stood up almost immediately with the biggest smile on his face. He left no room for refusals. “Here, lend me the receipt and I’ll be right back!”

As he skipped away from your table, you could catch him bubbling with giggles, eyes closed with excitement. You watched as he proudly displayed the receipt to the staff, retrieved the delicious bagged goods, and sauntered right back to you like a jolly pup who fetched a bone for you. “So, what do we have here?”

“Mm! First, I want you to try the fries. They’re not too salty and they’re the right amount of munchy!” You dug through the bag and pulled out the little cup of fries. You took a fry out and held it out to his mouth.

If it were anybody else you were eating with, they’d probably get taken aback from your forwardness. But this is Laios we’re talking about. He’ll always be excited to support you whenever something interests you. He needn’t say a word as he took a bite of the fry in your hand. He cherished the taste in his mouth with slow chews. He even tilted his head as he tried assessing the right words in his head. Then, his golden eyes beamed. “It’s good!”

The anxiety that once swelled in your heart immediately faded upon this. Oh, you couldn’t love him any less. You dug through the paper bag again. “If you want to add ketchup, here’s some packets for you.”

“Thanks!” He gently took them from your hand. He reached for more fries as well, eating them one at a time in such a polite manner.

“Woah, woah, hold on!” You laughed. “Save some room for the main course!”

“Ah, right! Sorry,” he rubbed the back of his neck as he blushed. “The fries just taste so good already!”

“I know right?” Finally, you pulled out the wrapped burger and placed it in front of Laios. “Here! This is a very iconic menu item of Jollibee’s— a yumburger with cheese! It’s very important that you specify at the register for it to be ‘with cheese’! C’mon, try it out!”

Laios wasted no time. He began unwrapping the burger as you began unwrapping yours as well. You waited until he took the first bite before you could take a bite on your own. You watched him take a big bite, rest onto the back of his chair as he chewed energetically. “Mmm!” He swallowed. “Woah, it’s just like a cheeseburger but without lettuce or tomatoes! The beef is juicy and the cheese is soothing too! The burger is incredibly simple, but it has a delicious sauce that enhances the savoriness overall!”

“Hehe, I’m glad you think so!” You expressed it with a smile. As Laios continued eating, you pulled off the disc covering the bucket of chicken, and you two were engulfed in a strong aroma.

“Ooh! Is that the chicken?” Laios asked. “May I have one?”

“Of course, here. Try it with gravy! It’s super good!” You handed him a drumstick and a little container of gravy.

You could practically see Laios drooling as he poured the sauce carefully onto the piece and expertly chomped down. He hummed with delight, glancing at the ceiling as he did. “I like it! The gravy perfectly complements the juiciness of the chicken! It’s not too oily either! And the skin is sooo crunchy! C’mon! You should dig in too!”

Laios waited for you to start eating as well. He surely didn’t want to spend the afternoon chowing down on his own. Seeing you indulge yourself in food made his heart (and stomach) full.

The two of you would continue eating. It was peaceful just to eat in each other’s company for Laios thought it was more than enough just to have you beside him, eating lunch together without a single worry in the world.

“Oh! I almost forgot about our drinks!” You jolted mid-bite. While you tried digging into the bag once again, Laios casually wiped crumbs off the corner of your lips with his tender thumb. God, the small things he does for you. It could practically make your heart explode.

“Here, these are what you call Coconut Dream Freeze’s!” you said, handing him his little plastic bottle with a straw you already placed for him. “They’re kindaa new? They were released just this summer. I really like them.”

“I see..” Laios took it into his hands. He inspected the white chilly substance with a squint. Then, he sucked onto the straw slowly, sparks slowly glimmering in his eyes. “Huh, it’s sweet, but not in an overbearing way…! It kinda reminds me of taro milk tea.”

“Really? Huh, never thought of it that way.”

“Still, it’s pretty tasty! Perfect for a warm day.” He chuckled before taking another sip of the drink.

It always made your heart burst at the seams whenever he analyzed food that way. Besides his passion for monsters, his love for food sort of reminded you of yourself. You had your fair share of interests too. Rarely you ever get to meet a guy who purely enjoyed his own hobbies and interests too, let alone never afraid to show it. But Laios just gets you.

The rest of lunch was spent eating to your heart’s content. Laios got a brain freeze for a moment, and you suggested putting his thumb on the roof of his mouth. The poor man winced until it went away, and he whimpered a little ‘thank you’ once he finally calmed down. You’ll definitely buy a cup of water from the cashier before you leave maybe.

Once Laios got back to chewing on his food, you’d notice his gaze fixed on the mascot entertaining a children’s birthday party. As much as you knew your boyfriend, you couldn’t quite place exactly what he was thinking most of the time. Laios would have a hard time reading you too sometimes, so exchanging questions has always been a common practice in your relationship. It made things easier that way, and lessened the risk of misunderstanding.

“What’s wrong, Laios?” You placed your hand atop his bigger and surprisingly calloused hand. “You’ve been eyeing the mascot for a while now.”

“Hm?” Upon seeing your concerned expression, he quickly snapped back. “Oh, it’s nothing serious, promise!” He assured you with a gentle smile. “I was just wondering if we could get a picture with him? I want to remember this day. But.. it might come across as weird if we ask in the middle of their party.”

“Oh, Laios.” He’s always such a sweetie. “How about we come up to them once we pack up— together. I’m sure they won’t mind.”

“Really?”

“Of course. C’mon, we should hurry before he leaves!”

Laios was quick to begin packing up your leftovers with you. He insisted on holding the bag while you held your drinks.

You two quietly sauntered towards the Jollibee mascot. Once you finally caught his attention, asking for a picture went without a hitch. Thankfully, a kind stranger offered to take the picture of you three on your phone. You stood by Jollibee’s left, and Laios took the right. Everyone gave big grins, and the picture was taken almost instantly.

You and Laios thanked both the stranger and the mascot before leaving the restaurant. While walking, you wanted to check the photo. You hoped you didn’t look like trash at the time, but Laios consistently reassured you that you looked amazing as ever.

Once you’ve opened your gallery, you clicked onto the photo and it made your insides warm. Laios looked as happy as ever. You could tell that this surely was a day for him to reminisce from now on.

However, your eyes were probably playing tricks on you. You squinted and leaned close to your phone. Laios was smiling the same exact way as the Jollibee mascot. Both with kiddy grins and soft round cheeks that only accentuated his sweet face.

Laios would make a great Jollibee costume for Halloween, you thought. You didn’t want to bring it up to the man just yet. He might get the wrong idea, however, it only made the man that much cuter.

After a few minutes of walking, you two have just arrived home at your shared apartment and placed your leftovers on the coffee table. Not long after you two sunk into the couch, your head resting on the tall man’s shoulder as he had his arm around your waist.

He softly whispered your name.

“Yes?”

“Thank you for the lunch,” Laios said, a sheepish smile on his face as he tried meeting your gaze. His body tensed as he desperately tried not to mess up his words. “I just wanted to get to understand you a bit more. I hope it wasn’t too weird to do it this way.”

“Are you kidding?” You leaned even closer. You couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’m super happy you got to try the place out. I don’t get to go there often anymore, so… it was nice coming back there and sharing it with you.”

Laios immediately softened at this. He cupped your face and planted a chaste kiss on your forehead. “Guess that means we should come back there again. Or.. if we’re feeling too lazy, we can always order online.”

“Hm,” you giggled. You nest right into his chest where you can feel his warm heartbeat. “Sounds good to me… by the way, would you ever consider cosplaying as Jollibee?”

[namjoon-koya]

Author's note: I know I haven't written on here in a while and I'll probably going to disappear again (hopefully not after getting some motivation to write again) anyways this is a series I wanted to write after playing Twisted Wonderland for a while. Yuu is the reader but I'm not going to use Y/N (I think Yuu feels more appriopate than Y/N) The series will stay in order with the game but just more content for Yuu(Reader) also this will be a afab!reader so I'll be using her/she pronouns. Also I’ll probably write events too! But those will probably be mini-series.

Warning: Nothing for the first chapter.

Prologue: Weclome to the Villains' World: Part 1

You heard something suffle, at first you decided to ignore it before hearing the same shuffle again. Was it already morning? "I better hurry up and find that uniform before someone spots me..." Your eyes shot open once you heard that voice you didn't recongize who it was "urghh! This lid weighs a ton!" Lid? what the hell did they mean by that? You gently placed your hand above you before feeling it, you started to realize you weren't in your bed.

"Try this on for size!"

The voice shouted, suddenly a flash happened as blue flames suddenly engulfed your vision "f-fire? what the-" as the flames dissappeared you heard the voice more clearly now "Now to grab the good.."

That's when you saw it, a small creature with tiny blue flames coming from its ears. "What!? You ain't supposed to be awake!" He seemed more frighten than you "W-what do you mean? what the heck are you? A talking weasel?!" You quickly scrambled out the coffin making as much distance from the creature "How...How DARE YOU! I am no WEASEL! I'm Grim, sorcerer extraordinaire! Whatever, you human! Just gimme your uniform and be quick about it! 'cause if you don't... you're going to regret it!" Grim suddenly summoned blue flames behind him.

You took one step backwards "n-no way! what else am I going to wear?! Somebody help!" You shouted "Hey, come on! I'm on a tight schedule here!" Grim summoned his blue flames towards you, but you're quick to dodge it and booking it away from him, you had no idea where you’re even going but you sure as hell weren't going to stay near him.

You continued to run making sure to glance behind you every second to see if that weasel was anywhere near you, but once you saw that he wasn't behind you; you came to a sudden stop. You let out a sigh before examining the room you were in "Where am I?" As you looked around suddenly blue flames cut you off from moving any further "Foolish human! Did you really think you could slip away from ME?" Grim was smug about it "Now unless you wanna get burned into a crisp, take off that-"

Suddenly you heard a whip as Grim yelped out in pain "Me-YEOW! That hurt! What gives?"

"Consider it tough love."

You looked over and saw a man wearing what seemed to be like a crow mask, he almost looked like a weird magician "Ah, I've found you at-" he examined you more closely he seemed... confused.

"You're a girl?" You gave him a questionable look "Y-Yes?"

"There must've been a mistake Night Raven College is a all boys school... The mirrior has never made a mistake like this before? rest assure we can figure this out maybe the mirror sensed a great magic in you? but just so you know brining a poorly trained familiar is against school's policy."

What the hell was even happening?

"as if i'd serve some lowly human! now lemme go!"

The man sighed "Yes, yes. Rebellious familiars always say that. Do be quiet for a bit, won't you?" He coveres Grim's mouth you almost start to feel bad for him..Almost. "Dear me. Of all the students I've dealt with, you're the first with temerity enough to open their own gate and step out of it. Does the very notion of patience eldue you?" before you could even answer him he cuts you off.

"Now! let's go to the orientation and figure out this sitation yes?"

"wait! before I go with you just tell me one thing, where am I?"

He seemed confused by your question "Hm? have you not fully regained consciousness?" The timespace teleportation must have addled your memories... Well, these things happen, I suppose. I shall explain it to you while we walk. Truly, my magnanimity is boundless."

He gently guides you back to the orientation hall while explaining “Ahem, this is Night Raven College. It is an institution for students the world over who demonstrate a rare aptitude in magic. It is the most prestigious academy of its sort in all Twisted Wonderland, and I am Dire Crowley. Having been entrusted with its care by the chairman, I serve as headmage.”

“Magic?!” You asked confused, “only those who the dark mirror perceives as having a talent for magic are admitted to the college, those who are selected are summoned to the campus through those “gates” which can appear anywhere.”

Crowley seemed to think for a while “maybe the magic mirror detected a rare magic in you? Maybe that’s why it summoned you here and if that’s the case while NRC is still an all boys school maybe we could help you achieve being a great mage here.”

You hummed unsure of the situation “now with all that explained let us attended your orientation.” Crowley notices you stopped walking with him “a-are you sure this is a good idea?”

“If you have second thoughts you can move to different school, but maybe you can discover great things here at NRC. We won’t force you though whatever makes you feel comfortable.” You sighed and nodded following Crowley again.

As he took you back to the room with the mirror in the middle you could hear different students talking “hey does anyone know where the headmage went? He disappeared midway through the ceremony…”

“Some headmage he is..”

“Maybe he had a tummy ache?” That’s when you saw Crowley push open the doors

“I most certainly did not!”

“Ah, speak of the devil.” A boy with red hair said.

“If you must know, I was searching for the new student who’d failed to show up for orientation.” That’s when you felt it everyone’s eyes landed on you some of them shocked “a girl? I thought NRC was a boys only academy?” One whispered “it is…” his friend replied back.

“Ahem. Please step up to the Dark Mirror and be quick about it. I’ll watch your weasel.” You heard Grim struggle trying to break free from Crowley’s grasp.

All you wanted to do was bury yourself in a hole you stepped up to the magic mirror “State your name” the mirror said “I-I’m Yuu..”

“Yuu.. the nature of your soul is…” you felt nervous why was it taking so long to decide? “It is unclear to me.”

“What did you just say?” Crowley asked confused “I sense no magical power from this one she’s soulless, colorless, shapeless. Utterly vacant, therefore no dorm would be appropriate.” You wanted to glare at that stupid mirror he didnt have to put it that way… the whispers only grew louder which put you on edge even more.

“Are you suggesting that the black carriage went to receive a person who cannot even use magic? But that is absurd! The student selection process has not erred once in its century of existence!… well besides you attending an all boys school, but how can that be?” Crowley was lost in his thoughts that he didn’t even see Grim start to wiggle out free.

“Me! Let ME have this student’s seat!”

“Not so fast, you hyperactive weasel!”

“Unlike that student here, I can actually use magic! So let me be a student here! Look, I’ll show you! It’s my signature spell the cat’s meow!”

“Everyone get down!” Someone shouted, Crowley is quick to push you behind him even this situation is unclear he wasn’t going to allow you to get burned especially considering the paperwork he would have so write if you got injured, “AH! Help! I’m on fire over here!” A student shouted.

“Someone catch that blasted animal before it sets the entire school ablaze!”

“Ugh. Can I go now, or…?”

“Oh? I thought you fancied yourself a hunter. Go and help yourself to that plump little morsel!”

The student rolled his eyes “too much effort. Do it yourself.”

“Allow me to handle this, headmage Crowley, if none of you are up to the task of catching a small animal, I will accept the responsibility.” That’s when you saw a floating screen and a voice talking through it “WTG, Azul. Rackin up those participation credits.”

“Hey, um, my butt’s still on fire… could someone maybe put this out?!”

“I’m sorry, were my instructions unclear?!” Crowley scolded.

One student sighed before crossing his arms “preetty sure you can handle catching one mangy weasel all on your lonesome there, headmage.”

“How many times do I gotta say it?! I’m Grim, a spellcaster extraordinaire! I am NOT a weasel!”

“Aren’t you a spunky little fellow? Riddle, would you be so kind….?”

Riddle nodded “Furry miscreant. I will abide no rule-breaking. You will be judged by my hand.”

You could only watch as Azul and Riddle went after Grim casting spells to capture him, “Are you injured Yuu?” Crowley asked, you examined your uniform but didn’t see any injuries or burns “no I’m fine thank you.”

“Off with your head!” Riddle suddenly shouted you saw as a collar wrapped around Grim’s neck “Myah! What are you doing?!”

“The Queen of Hearts’s Rule 23: One must never bring a cat to a formal affair. Your very presence here is a violation of order, You will vacate these premises immediately.”

That response only seemed to anger Grim more “But I ain’t a cat either! Don’t you try’n collar me! I’ll burn it right off! Huh…? Wh-what gives? My fire ain’t workin!”

Riddle chuckled “until I deign to remove that collar, you won’t be using any magic. You’re naught but a pet cat now.”

“I ain’t nobody’s pet-NOTHING!” He said glaring at Riddle.

“Oh, you’ve nothing to worry about there. I certainly have no interest in having you as a pet. The collar will disappear once you’re removed from campus.” Riddle informed Grim. “Good show as always, Riddle. Your signature spell locks down any magic. It’s quite handy. I’ve just GOT to have it- I mean I’ve just got to have respect for it.” Azul smiled.

“Yuu! Was I not clear that you are expected to take responsibility for your familiar?Now discipline your-“

“He’s not mine! Did you literally not see how he tried burning me before you intervened?” You sighed.

“Oh.. it isn’t yours?”

You shook your head “nope, I’ve never seen that creature before in my life!”

“Ahem! My mistake then, I shall have it expelled from campus, I shall even spare it from being served as dinner. My, but am I kind.” You almost rolled your eyes.

“Someone take this away please.”

“Nooo! Let me goooo! You fools better remember my name! Cause I’m gonna go down in the annals of magic history! Just you wait!”

You watch as some students drag Grim away, you’re not sure why you almost felt guilty for not defending him. You shook off the feeling turning your attention to Crowley “well that was quite the unexpected fracas. I hereby declare that orientation has concluded. Housewardens, please escort your students back to the dorms.” Crowley paused before looking around, “hm? Come to think of it, I don’t see Housewarden Draconia of House Diasomnia anywhere.”

“And that surprises you? Dude’s a total recluse.”

“Wait a sec… did anyone even invite him?”

“If you’re that worried about him missing out, maybe you should have told him yourself.”

“Maybe.. but I don’t know him too well either…”

You hear students start to talk about him, some of them almost sounded scared of him. Was he actually that terrifying? “Ah, just as I’d expected. I figured I’d come down here and see for myself whether Malleus had made an appearance. But once again he was evidently not informed that his presence was required at an official ceremony.”

“You have my sincerest apologies. I assure you this oversight was in no way intended as a snub.” Azul said, “I mean, you must admit. He’s not exactly the easiest person to strike up a conversation with.” Riddle replies.

“No matter. All who were assigned to house Diasomnia, follow me. I just hope he doesn’t sulk about this..” serval students follow behind him as he leads them somewhere else.

Whatever this place was.. is definitely confusing, you turn your attention back to Crowley “Well, Yuu. This is a most unfortunate turn of events. I’m afraid you will not be attending Night Raven College after all. Surely you realize that I cannot very well admit a student with no magical ability to my academy.”

You shrugged “well I don’t think I was meant to be here in the first place honestly.”

“In any case the Dark Mirror will see you safely home. Now, step into a gate, and visualize the place from whence you came.”

You nodded and stepped towards the Dark Mirror, “O Dark Mirror! Return this soul to where it belongs!”

You both stood there for a few seconds waiting for the mirror to send you home, but.. nothing happened. “Ahem! L-let us, er.. try this again. O Dark Mirror! Return this soul—“

“There is no such place.”

“What?”

“There is no place in this world where this soul belongs. None.”

“How can that be? My, but today is a veritable cavalcade of impossible phenomena! This has never happened throughout my long tenure. I must confess that I am something of a loss. Tell me from what land do you hail?” Crowley asked.

“S-Sure I’m from…” you explained to Crowley about your homeland only remembering a few bits of it, but Crowley seemed troubled when you told him about it.

“I’m afraid I’m not familiar with such a place. I am intimately acquainted with the origins of every student who has ever come here, and yet… This mysterious homeland of yours eludes me.”

Crowley seemed to think about what to do next “let us go to the library and look it up, shall we?” You nod a follow behind Crowley as he leads you back to the library, once arriving there you both go through various books trying to find your home.

Crowley sighed as you both came up empty handed “Just as I suspected. Nothing. Not only is your homeland not listed on any map from any point in history. Now, are you QUITE sure that you come from such a place? That wasn’t some sort of lie, or jape? Because if so, the only explanation is that you’ve come from another planet… or perhaps you were summoned here from another dimension?”

“Another planet?! I-I doubt it…”

“Show me everything that you brought here with you. Do you have some form of identification, a driver’s license perhaps? Or even… a shoe? You do seem a tad bit.. empty handed…”

You feel around your pockets trying to find something but again there was nothing, you shook your head in defeat “well, this is quite the predicament, I cannot have someone with no aptitude for magic bumbling about my magic academy. And, yet as an educator, I am loath to expel a young person without a cent to their name or any ability to contact their guardian… truly my grace is boundless.”

Crowley seems lost in his thoughts as he tries to come up with a solution, “oh! There’s a vacant building on this campus. It was in fact used as a dorm a long time ago. With proper cleaning. It should be habitable enough. Out of the profound kindness of my heart I will allow you to live there for the time being, in the meantime we investigate other ways to send you home. Dear me, but I am a gracious man indeed! A model educator, one might say.”

You held back the urge to roll your eyes at Crowley was he seriously just praising himself right now? “Well then, I shall take you to your dorm straight away. It is an older building but it has plenty of… character, one might say.”

You decide not to question what Crowley meant by that and followed him out, you continued to walk behind him until he suddenly stopped.

Now you know why he said that about the abounded dorm, “uh.. you want me to stay here?”

“Isn’t it delightful? Right, scoot inside now. There you go.” Crowley gently pushed your back making you step forwards to the dorm. Once entering you saw damaged furniture and dust covering it, you cringed at the sight of the cobwebs stuck into the furniture.

“This should keep the elements at bay for the time being. Now I should return to my research, do try to find some way to busy yourself. But do not let me catch you wandering the campus! Ta!” Crowley walks out of the dorm leaving you alone, you sighed “I don’t even have a place to sit..”

You picked up a few things off the floor and placed them on a nightstand, you suddenly heard the soft drumming of rain. It was almost calming for you to hear the rain until a sudden noise ruined it “gwah! It’s pouring out there!”

You quickly looked over and saw Grin “h-how did you-“

“That look on your face is priceless! Like a bat that got blasted by a water gun! As if I wouldn’t just sneak back onto the campus the second I escaped pryin’ eyes. You all got no idea what I’m capable of! I ain’t givin’ up on goin’ here just cause I got kicked out one measly ol’ time. And if you think otherwise, you don’t know Grim!”

You let out a sigh, you had to hand it to him though. Once he was determined to do something he definitely wasn’t going to give up, “why are you so determined to go to this school?” You asked.

“Isn’t it obvious? I was born to do this! I’m a a magical prodigy who’s got the makin’s to become one of the greatest mages who ever lived! So I’ve been waitin’ and waitin’ for that black carriage to come for me. And yet…” Grim’s ears went flat “hmph! That Dark Mirror’s got no eyes for talent! That’s why I took the initiative and came here myself. You humans don’t understand what a mistake you’re makin’ not lettin’ me in is a great loss to the world!”

Suddenly Grim jumped to the seat next to you “c’mon scoot over! I’m gettin’ dripped on here!” Grim felt another drop on his head “another hole in the roof?! These flamin’ ears are like my trademark, Y’know? I can’t let ‘em get doused!”

You sighed “unfortunately there’s a lot of them Grim, good luck not getting them wet.”

“I dunno why ya just don’t magic those holes away. You could have it fixed in half a jiff. Ah right. You can’t use magic at all. Hmph! Man, you’re useless.” You glared at him, “oh? Then why don’t you do it?”

“Hm? You want me to help you? You got the wrong idea, I’m just a stranger takin’ shelter from the rain. You ain’t the boss of me. If ya had some cans of tuna to trade, well, that’d be another story. But I don’t work for free.”

You rolled your eyes at Grim before feeling another drip of rain, “well I’m going to look for some buckets.” As you got up from the couch you noticed Grim shivering, you weren’t sure how long he was out in the rain for before he came to this dorm.

What he said still pissed you off, but you hated to see his small body shiver. You removed your jacket and placed it on top of Grim, “mwah! What are ya’ doing?!”

“You looked cold just use my jacket to warm up while I go look for some buckets.” You walk away from Grim leaving him baffled, Grim curled himself inside your jacket his shivers stopped.

As you start looking around the dorm you suddenly heard a loud creak in the wooden floors, you hesitated to keep moving suddenly three ghost appeared in front of you. You let out a shriek as you quickly stepped away from them one of the ghost began to laugh “we haven’t had a guest in ages!”

“Oh I’m just itchin’ for new friends!” They all laughed again “g-ghost?! What the hell?!”

You suddenly heard Grim’s voice “Hey, keep it down over-“ that’s when Grim let out a shriek of his own “g-ghost?!”

“All the people that used to live here got scared of us and ran away. We just want new ghost to play with! What do you say buddy?”

“N-no way!” You shouted, you heard Grim let out small cries “I’m a master sorcerer! I ain’t afraid of any dumb ghosts!” Grim used his magic to throw a fire spell on them only to miss “nuh-uh. Not even close.” One ghost teased.

“Over here! Over here!”

“Argh! They keep disappearing and reappearing!”

You watched as Grim’s fire burned at wooden floors, “Grim stop! You’re going to burn down the dorm if you keep missing!”

“Shaddup! I don’t need any lip from you, human!” God did you want to strangle this cat.

That’s when you got an idea “Grim! If you beat all of them maybe the headmage will let you enroll!” Grim continued to ignore you even that didn’t get his attention, “I’m Grim, master sorcerer! How come I can’t even hit one of these little-“

Suddenly the ghost appeared around you and Grim “ganging up on us… you’re a bunch of cowards!” You sighed “Grim maybe let me help?”

Grim finally broke and gave his attention to you “You, human! You tell me which way the ghost are!”

“Understood!”

You stayed focused as you shouted for Grim to shoot his fire left, finally the both of you were able to work together.

“Ah it burns!” One ghost shouted.

“Ha! Got one! Keep it up, just like that… and let’s clear out the whole lot of ‘em!”

“You got this Grim! I got your back.”

Thankfully Grim worked together with you to get rid of the ghost, “we gotta get out of here! Before we disappear for good!” The three ghost left finally leaving you and Grim alone.

“H-huh? Did we… win?”

You nodded happily “Grim that was amazing!” Grim let out a sigh of relief “I was scared outta my— I mean they didn’t faze me one bit! Just a walk in the park for a mage of my caliber! Whaddaya got to say now, ghosties? That’s right!”

You smiled at Grim “Good evening. In another gesture of my immense kindness, I have brought you dinner.” Shit, you didn’t expect Crowley to come back especially when Grim was right there in front of him, “wait! That’s the creature we ejected for causing trouble at orientation! What is it doing here?!” Crowley shouted.

“Hmp! Takin’ care of the ghost problem, that’s what you’re welcome by the way.”

Crowley turns his attention to you “what’s the meaning of this, Yuu?”

You began to explain everything to Crowley and especially the teamwork you did with Grim to get rid of the ghosts at the dorm, Crowley listening to every bit of information you told him.

“But you know, on that topic, I do seem to recall that this dorm had a mischievous ghost problem. Ah, yes… that’s why it was abandoned, in fact. The ghost scared away all the students. And you’re saying that you two joined forces to drive them away?”

“Joined forces? Ain’t exactly the way I’d describe it..” Grim said, “more like I drove em’ away, and the human watched. And I only did it ‘cause I wanted some tuna. Wait a minute! I never got those cans of tuna ya promised me!” Grim said angrily at you, “we’ll talk about that later.” You said nervously.

“Would you two be so kind as to demonstrate your ghost-eradication methods for me?”

“One, no, cause I already wiped ‘em out. And two no, ‘cause where’s my tuna?!”

“I will play the part of the ghosts. As for the tuna, you will receive it when you defeat me. Oh what generosity, Crowley… now to chug this transformation potion!” Crowley suddenly appeared as a ghost in front of you and Grim.

“Ah, you gotta be kiddin me. I gotta work together with the human again?” Grim sighed “Hey this could be your chance to enroll.” You said gently nudging Grim “all right, but this is the last time. And I better be up to my jowls in tuna afterwards!”

You start instructing Grim on which sides to use his fire on, you’re able to stay focused and Crowley wasn’t able to spook Grim once after completing a few rounds Crowley reverts back to his human form.

“Well…?” Grim asked looking at Crowley “incredible! I’ve never seen anyone bend a monster to their will quite the way you have. I must confess, my educator’s intuition did sense something about you after the events at orientation, Yuu. I could tell you had a certain animal trainer-y beast master-ish quality to you, oh yes. That said I…”

Crowley gets quiet he starts mumbling to himself, you and grim stare at each other confused before looking back at Crowley. That’s when you get an idea “would it be possible for Grim to stay with me?”

“What? A monster, stay here?”

“Did you just..” Grim says shocked at what you said.

“Please?”

“Hm, I suppose I cannot deny your plea, very well.”

“Myah! Really?” Grim said excitedly.

“Let me be clear! Under no circumstance would I admit anyone to Night Raven College who has not been selected by the Dark Mirror—especially not a monster! Nor do I intend you, Yuu. To freeload until you’re able to return home.”

Grim sighed “never shoulda got my hopes up…”

“Now, allow me to explain. It was the Dark Mirror who transported you here. Therefore this school does bear some responsibility for your well-being. So I will allow you to remain in this dorm, free of charge. However you will need to pay for your own food, clothing, and incidentals. As to how you will do so, penniless as you are hm… ah yes, a fine plan.”

You gulped “I don’t think that was a good laugh…” you mumbled

“you needn’t seem so alarmed. I’m simply going to ask you to do a few odd jobs around campus. From what you’ve done here, Yuu. I can tell you know your way around a broom. So what do you say to you two working together as a janitorial team? If you agree to that, I will make a special exception and allow you to remain on campus. I’ll also allow you use of the library, so that you may study, and research ways to return home. How boundlessly charitable I am. Ah! But only when your work is over, of course!”

“Whaaaat… what kind of deal is that?! I wanna put on one of those sweet uniforms and be a student, not sweep up people’s junk!” Grim complained.

“If you’re not satisfied with my offer I can arrange to have you thrown out again.”

“All right, fine! Let’s do it.”

“Fair enough…”

“Wonderful. Then I beseech you both… to work hard as the newest members of the Night Raven College’s janitorial staff!”

After that Crowley left leaving you and Grim alone at the dorm, you let out a sigh “we should get some rest… if we can get it at all.” You both made your way up stairs to the bedroom as it was in the living room the bedroom had everything covered in dust.

“How are we supposed to sleep in here?”

“Grim see if you can find any blankets around the dorm I’ll try to clean up here.” Grim was about to complain, but instead he didn’t and left you alone in the bedroom.

You tried dusting off the bed as best you could, this dorm needed a lot of repairs but it would have to do for the meantime. You could only hope that you would find your way back home again or at least Crowley would find it.

Grim came bouncing back into the bedroom with some blankets, they looked old and worn out but at least you two would be able to keep warm “Yuu, you actually did a good job making the bed look comfy!” Grim threw himself on the bed purring in delight.

You chuckled lightly “well thanks that makes me feel better.” You didn’t have any pajamas to sleep in so you decided to stay in your uniform for now, you covered yourself and grim in the blanket.

You sighed and stared out the window, the rain seemed to stop for now.

Would you ever find your way back home?

(Also I did not proof read this it’s like 3am lol)

[bunnithechubs]

looks like i'm about to change your life.

transcript:

W: I will show you to your table, Mr. SIlas. V: Thank you, so sorry for being late. W: It is no problem. R: So what is this place? V: It’s called Tower, been here once with my dad. I think you’ll like it. R: You’ve never brought another girl here? V: Never. Just pops and now you. I plan on bringing you to a lot of nice spots in the city.

R: That’s if I let you. V: leans in and whispers I think after our little delay in your apartment, you’ll be letting me see you more. R: Just because I let you make out with me doesn’t mean I like you enough for a second date, let alone a third. V: I’m taking you on more dates. R: What if I want to date someone else? V: I can fight. R: You’d fight someone I went on a date with? V: I’d fight any man for you.

R: You really got us a private room? V: I wanted privacy with you. Sometimes the fans like to overstep. R: I don’t mind. V: I figured you wouldn’t but I’m focused on enjoying dinner with you. See anything you like? R: Oh, I’m order the most expensive thing on here. V: chuckles Trying to run my pockets dry, huh? R: Dating me isn’t for the faint hearted.

V: So you admit it, we’re dating. R: Are we not on a date? V: There is a difference between dating and being on a date. There’s a certain exclusivity with dating. R: According to the tabloids you’re not into exclusivity. V: I’m not, but for you? I want you all to myself. R: Do you think I believe that? V: No, but I plan on proving it. I’ll do whatever you want to me, destroy me if you like. As long as your mine.

R: Well if you’re going to date me I need a few things from you. V: Name them. R: Your location at all times, social media, and bank accounts. V: Done. I’ll even throw in the cameras at my apartment. R: I won’t look at them, but if you give me reason to and I find something I don’t like I will make your life a living hell. Understood? V: Completely. R: That’s it? You’re not going to ask for anything?

V: Nope, I just want you to be my girlfriend. R: You’re not worried I would cheat on you? I mean my dms are like a warzone of thirsty richer men. V: Are you letting any of them take you on dates? R: No. V: Then we’re good. Trust me, you won’t be thinking of them any more. I plan on keeping you completely satisfied. R: I look forward to that. V: Let’s eat- I want to show you somewhere before we go.

R: This is nice. V: You’re not too cold being out here? I can give you my jacket. R: The champagne has me pretty warm. I’ll let you know if that changes. V: Alright, you know in any light you look beautiful but right now I think you might be the most beautiful person in the world. R: Ass kissing doesn’t win me over. V: I’m not ass kissing, I’m telling you the truth. R: I think you’re drunk.

V: Not even the slightest bit tipsy. R: So you’re naturally a sweet talker, better watch your mouth when I’m not around. V: You do know I work with only men? R: You act like you don’t go out. V: I’m only going out with you or if you let me. R: I won’t be letting you go out without me. V: I wasn’t planning on it.

R: I want you take me home now. V: Your wish is my command.

V: I’m guessing I did a good job tonight then, huh? A nice dinner and even got you to admit we’re dating? R: You did better than expected- yes. V: So are you going to follow through with your comment from earlier? R: Letting you find out what’s underneath my dress? I think you can figure it out. I’m not wearing anything.

V: You’re killing me, Reina. R: Don’t worry I make good on my word. You get the gift of tasting me- but that's all. Your pants stay on. Got it? V: Whatever you say, Reina. R: Good, now help me out of this dress. V: Happily.

[faithsotherhouseofchaos]

Hello, could I request an imagine with autistic reader and Mick where she keeps trying to break up with him because she gets embarrassed or insecure but he always ends up convincing her to stay?

You are enough||Mick Schumacher x autistic!Fem!reader

Word count — 836

Summary — after a while you begin to doubt yourself about your relationship with Mick but being the best boyfriend he is he reassures you that you are enough for him.

The living room was still, the rain outside the only sound. You stood near the window, your arms wrapped tightly around yourself as if trying to keep from falling apart. Mick sat on the couch, his eyes never leaving you. His presence was steady, grounding, but that only made the guilt gnaw at you harder.

“I think…” you started, the words feeling jagged and raw in your throat, “I think we should break up.”

Mick’s brows furrowed, his head tilting slightly as if he hadn’t heard you right. “What? Why? Where’s this coming from?”

You avoided his gaze, staring down at the floor. “Because I’m not good at this,” you said quietly, your voice cracking under the weight of your emotions. “At being with you. At being in a relationship.”

He stood, but didn’t come closer, giving you space. “What do you mean? You are good at it. You’re good at us.”

A sharp laugh escaped you, bitter and unintentional. “No, I’m not. I never know what you’re feeling or what you’re thinking unless you say it out loud, and even then, I still second-guess myself. And then when I get overwhelmed, I shut down, and you have to fix everything.”

“Fix everything?” Mick repeated, his voice gentle. “You don’t need to be fixed, and I don’t think of it that way at all.”

You shook your head, tears stinging your eyes as you tried to find the right words to explain what felt impossible to articulate. “But you don’t get it, Mick! You’re patient, and you’re good at this—at understanding people. And I’m… I’m just a mess. I can’t even figure out how to tell you how I feel half the time without freezing up or saying the wrong thing.”

Mick stepped forward, his voice soft but steady. “You think saying the ‘wrong thing’ means you’re bad at this? Babe, everyone struggles with communication sometimes. I’d rather you try and stumble through it than not talk to me at all. And if you freeze up, that’s okay too. I’m not going to get mad at you for needing time to process.”

You looked up at him, tears slipping down your cheeks. “But what if it’s too much one day? What if I’m too much? What if one day you get tired of waiting for me to figure out how to be normal?”

His face softened, and he slowly reached out, letting his hands rest lightly on your arms. “You’re not too much. You’re just enough—exactly enough. And I don’t need you to be ‘normal,’ whatever that even means. I want you to be you. That’s who I love.”

You shook your head, overwhelmed. “But I don’t know how to show you that I love you back. I try, but it feels like I’m never doing enough. You deserve someone who can give you everything you need without overthinking every little thing.”

Mick frowned, his hands gently sliding down to take yours. “You don’t think you’re showing me you love me? You do it all the time, babe. When you text me to make sure I got home safe. When you remember things I said weeks ago and bring them up. When you tell me about the stuff you’re passionate about, even when you think I won’t care—guess what? I care, because it’s you.”

You blinked at him, caught off guard by his words.

“You might not say, ‘I love you’ in the same way I do,” he continued, “but I see it in everything you do. And it’s enough. You are enough.”

“But it’s so hard, Mick,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “Sometimes I can’t figure out how I’m feeling, let alone how to explain it to you. And then I feel stupid for not knowing.”

Mick’s thumb brushed over the back of your hand. “You’re not stupid for having a hard time with emotions. If you don’t know how you feel, that’s okay. I’ll wait. And if you can’t explain it, that’s okay too. We can figure it out together.”

Tears welled up again, but this time, they weren’t as heavy. “But what if I get overwhelmed again? What if I shut down and can’t talk to you?”

“Then I’ll sit with you until you feel ready,” Mick said simply, his voice unwavering. “I’ll remind you that you’re safe and that I’m here. You don’t have to go through that alone anymore.”

A choked sob escaped you, and Mick gently pulled you into his arms. “You don’t have to do this perfectly,” he murmured into your hair. “There’s no right way to be with someone, and I don’t expect you to get it all right. I just want you to let me love you.”

You buried your face in his chest, the storm in your mind slowly quieting as his words settled over you. “You promise you won’t leave?”

“I promise,” Mick said without hesitation. “We’re in this together, no matter how hard it gets.”For the first time, you let yourself believe him.

[raeathnos]

.

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

tomorrow is my first day of classes as I go back to school for the first time in eight years and my family has picked today to blow up at each other and drag me into it

[electric-plants]

i decided to try to 100% mondstadt’s areas and i’m honestly starting to believe that 100%ing starfell valley is impossible i have been searching for HOURS

[livvyofthelake]

oh my goddddd tv show can you not have an episode about seeing the future i’m sad enough as it fucking is about this stupid ass plot you’ve set up that i knowwwww goes to SHIT. you can’t be bbc merlining me already i trusted you

[bibleofficial]

won at monopoly against 2 of the girlies despite constantly being in jail & having no money, and finishing off w a roll of 10 after getting out of jail stealing the free parking 😭😭

[burinazar]

ohh I am worried my new meds (yes the ones that give me a funny eyebrow twitch. that mostly stopped now) actually are sort of working. “worried” bc my insurance doesn’t really cover them and the ones I’ve been taking are my psych handing me a full months’ worth of free samples

[milo-is-rambling]

Just remembered how one of my dedicated to people last roadtrip literally was like “oh actually I don’t think you can stay here tonight I have work early tomorrow :(“ after driving like seven and a half hours to him (and he texted me this when I was an hour away from his house and we had literally talked about my plans to stay there all day) like hello red flag red flag red flag

[gregmarriage]

the strugglerrrrrrrrr

[simpforboys]

let me b-a-n-g baby

rafe cameron x fem!virgin reader

summary: “she told you she celibate, but she told me i can nail her shit” - nle choppa

warnings: smut, loss of virginity, dirty talk, reader seems sweet and innocent but is secretly dirty, dom!rafe, sub!reader, oral (m + f receiving), unprotected piv sex, a spank, creampie, slight breeding kink, daddy kink, cheating, reader has a boyfriend that is not rafe, degrading, praise, cursing, celibacy but not specified why

obv this is based on gang baby by nle choppa

God, you drove Rafe fucking crazy.

Wearing those skirts that were normal length around your family, but hiked up to barely cover your ass around him.

Whenever Rafe would see you with your boyfriend, you always seemed so uninterested, giving him looks with your pretty eyes.

He just wanted you so bad.

You currently stood in Rafe’s living room as he threw a party, one of his lavish ones that everyone in Figure 8 knew about.

Sipping on whatever little drink was handed to you at the beginning of the party, your boyfriend, Miles, spewed on and on and on about some side project at work.

“Good job, baby.” You hummed, not paying attention, eyes locked on Rafe’s icy blue ones.

Rafe was smirking at you, drinking a glass of scotch on the rocks as he noticed you not even paying your poor boyfriend any ounce of attention.

“Y/n.”

You snapped your gaze back over to Miles.

“Hm?” you hummed.

“I think I’m gonna head back home, you coming?” Miles asked sweetly.

Miles was genuinely an okay-ish boyfriend. He obviously cared, the two of you had been together for three months.

But when you first got with him and told him you were waiting til marriage, it set some kind of tension in the relationship.

“No, I’m gonna stay. I’ll get a ride home, though. promise.”

You felt Miles give your kiss a soft cheek, patting your knee as he stood up to leave.

As soon as he was gone, a familiar voice loomed over you. “not desperate to leave with your boyfriend?”

You glanced up, making eye contact with Rafe as he towered over your sitting position. You swallowed, licking your lips.

“The party isn’t over yet, is it?”

Rafe smirked at your response, taking the last sip of his scotch as he moved to sit in the seat that was previously occupied by Miles.

You had spoken to Rafe multiple times before, always seeing him at events.

“You’re not wearing your little skirt?” Rafe hummed, his eyes trailing your form.

You crossed one leg over the other, heart pounding at his intimidating gaze.

“Decided on wearing some jeans… ‘s too cold at night for a skirt.”

Rafe didn’t respond, not bothering to hide the fact he was blatantly checking you out. But he always did that.

“You don’t seem very into your boyfriend.”

Your eyes widened as he randomly called you out. Face feeling warm, you broke eye contact with him.

“I don’t think he’s very into me,” you murmured back, feeling suddenly shy.

“Yeah? How come?”

Rafe leaned closer, his large, veiny hand coming to rest on your knee. Goosebumps erupted on your skin from the contact, and you were grateful you decided to wear jeans to cover them.

“Told him I’m celibate on our third date… been a little awkward ever since,” you admit softly.

Rafe was shocked, but he masked it well. His eyes widened a little at your confession, those soft wrinkles tightening a little on his forehead.

“You practice celibacy?” Rafe hums, his thumb running along your knee still. No way this girl who hikes her damn skirts up so much to show him her ass was celibate.

“I try to, yeah.”

“Try to?” Rafe questioned, a small smirk curling on his lips.

“Guess it depends on how horny the person makes me,” you blurt out, feeling your face immensely warm from your admission and the cocky grin Rafe gave you, you sank back into your seat.

“Oh, pretty girl. You tellin’ me your boyfriend doesn’t get you all worked up? Doesn’t know how to make you all needy?” Rafe cooed.

Oh god.

His voice was enough to send shivers down your spine and a throb in your clit.

Rafe took your lack of response as something good, his self-assured smirk still plastered on his sexy face.

“I… uh… don’t really know how to answer that,” you murmur shyly.

“Mhm. How about I take you somewhere more private? Can’t hear your sweet voice surrounded by all these people,” he suggests.

You knew it wasn’t a good idea, no way in hell was following Rafe Cameron to a private bedroom ever a good idea.

He currently had your plush thighs over his shoulders, fingers digging into the sheets, noises escaping your mouth as he ate your cunt as if he was starving.

His eyes were locked onto your face, watching how with every delicious swirl of his tongue against your clit, it contorted up in pleasure.

“That feel good, pretty girl?”

All you could do was mumble something incoherent, the pleasure completely new and overwhelming to you.

Miles hadn’t offered to eat you out, despite you sucking his dick once. You were fine doing other sexual things, just not penetration, as that was what you wanted to wait for.

But when Rafe’s long fingers slid into your soaked hole, the idea of penetration was driving you insane.

“Clenchin’ around my fingers so much… never had someone pleasure this sweet pussy?” Rafe murmurs, sucking on your clit.

“no… fuck, Rafe,” you gasped.

Rafe had that stupid cocky smirk on his face as he purposely hummed around your clit, the vibration making your body twitch.

“I can tell, baby. So turned on but still so tight… you gonna let daddy put his dick in here?”

Your brain was so fuzzy, the coil in your stomach tightening as the pleasure started to get overwhelmingly good.

Rafe just chuckled against your cunt, watching as you came undone on his mouth and fingers.

Panting for breath, you were out of it for a good minute. No one else had ever made you orgasm, only used to your own fingers or a vibrator every now and then.

The tall man pulled away from your cunt, unbuckling his belt and tugging down his pants and boxer briefs.

“Taste so good, baby.” Rafe leaned forward, connecting his lips to yours in an attempt to pull you back down to earth.

“Mhmm, Ray…”

“Yeah? What do you need?” Rafe smirks.

You lifted your head, finally looking at his dick. Eyes widening a little, mouth growing a little damper with drool.

He was big and thick. A pretty mushroom tip that was leaking precum, two prominent veins that ran along the whole shaft.

“Can I suck your dick?” you mumbled.

“What was that? Speak up, pretty girl. Tell Daddy what you want.”

Of course, Rafe heard you, he was just an asshole.

“Can I suck your dick, daddy? Please?” you asked a little louder, staring up at him with your pretty eyes.

“Good girl, askin’ so sweetly for daddy. You gonna let me fuck this mouth?” He placed a large hand on the side of your head, guiding you over to the side of the bed.

You lay on your stomach in front of him, eyes still locked onto the leaking tip.

“Open your mouth.”

Wasting no time, your mouth dropped open, a small lick being delivered to swipe off his arousal.

The little noise he breathed was enough to give you more encouragement, slowly wrapping your lips around the head.

“Relax that throat f’me… good girl.”

He slowly guided your head down more of his base, tears pricking your eyes. he was bigger and thicker than Miles, again, giving you a whole new experience.

He threw his head back slightly, a soft moan leaving him. You took your hand up, starting to stroke whatever couldn’t fit.

His hold on your head never released, but he stopped guiding you. As badly as he wanted to just hold your head still so he can ram his cock in and out of your mouth, he knew he had to be patient, as you were a virgin.

“Mhm, yeah. Suck that cock, pretty girl. You’re so fuckin’ naughty, huh? Lettin’ daddy eat your sweet pussy and now you’re suckin’ his dick. What would your boyfriend say?”

You would never admit this, but his words were spurring you on. Just the idea of being in Rafe’s room, having only talked to him a few times, both of you doing oral on each other, while your boyfriend sat at home.

Obviously, you couldn’t respond. Not when he was beginning to buck his greedy, sculpted hips into your mouth, making you choke on his dick.

You bobbed your head, eagerly trying to please him as your manicured hand stroked the bottom of his shaft.

"Fuck, where'd you learn to suck dick, hm? You secretly a slut?"

Rafe leaned over onto the bed, delivering a harsh slap to your ass. His forward motion caused his cock to slide deeper into your tight throat, his balls tensing.

He was going to cum sooner than he wanted to, but he slowly stopped caring. Not when a pretty girl like you was sucking him off so desperately.

"You gonna swallow my load? Drink it all down like a good fuckin' whore?" He grunted, his hand starting to guide you again.

Spit was dribbling down your chin, small gags leaving your dirty mouth as he choked you on his member.

You took your left hand and began to gently massage his balls, feeling the way they tensed up, signaling he was close.

He twitched in your mouth, sexy, deep grunts leaving his filthy mouth.

"Shit, take my cum."

Hot spurts of semen slid down your throat, the sensation and taste of it weird, but not disgusting. You swallowed it down like a shot, gasping and panting for air when he finally released your head from his crotch.

"You look like a cheap whore, spit and cum dripping down your chin. But you love it, huh? Bet that little cunt is just throbbin', desperate for this cock."

A small whimper escaped your mouth involuntarily. He was right, and you hated it.

"Want daddy to take that sweet virginity?" He cooed, watching as you laid on your back and spread your thighs, showing him your leaking cunt.

A guilty shiver ran down your blood, the idea of Rafe Cameron, someone who you had barely any romantic involvement with, taking your virginity instead of your boyfriend or future husband.

But the way his throbbing cock was staring at you, hovering over your aching clit, the idea of just saying fuck it was stronger.

"Ray?"

"What, baby?"

"Can you... nail my pussy? Fuck me hard?" You asked softly, staring up at him with those fucking eyes that drove him insane.

"Yeah? You want daddy to break this cunt in? What about your boyfriend?" He snickered, loving how needy you looked for him.

"He can't please me like you can, please, daddy. Want you to take my virginity, don't wanna wait til marriage." You were pleading pathetically.

His smirk was downright evil as he slowly slid his leaking tip up and down your drenched lips, making sure to tease your clit nice and slow.

"You're not as sweet and innocent as you make it out to be, hm? You're just a desperate cock-whore for daddy."

Another small whine escaped your lips at his degradation, clit throbbing with need.

"Please... need you s'bad."

He leaned down to gently capture your lips in his, although it slowly became more rough as he dominated your tongue and mouth.

He began to gently slide the tip into your leaking hole, the sensation making you gasp into his mouth.

"Relax f'me, yeah?" He murmured, sucking hickeys onto your throat as he began to slide further in.

Desperate fingers dug into his muscular back, eyes squeezed shut as he stretched you out. Luckily, you were soaked, so it was easy for him.

"Feel so good, stretchin' you out on my cock. You're not celibate, huh? Just wanted to wait for daddy."

A soft moan left your throat, feeling him suddenly stop moving. Your chest rose and fell as you gasped for breath, trying to relax enough to make it feel good for yourself and him.

"Rafe, fuck..."

"I know, sweet girl. 'm fully in, just loosen up f'me so I can show this little pussy what 's been missing," he cooed.

It took a few moments, but you finally felt him start to push his hips in and out. Your painted toes curled as he continued to press kisses to your neck, getting sloppy the quicker his sculpted body moved.

"Takin' this dick so well, this pussy was made f'me, yeah?"

You nodded your head, brain fuzzy from the sensation and his naughty words. Rafe fucking Cameron was taking your virginity, inflating his already high ego.

He brought a calloused thumb down to rub your hardened clit, your legs tightening around him at the added pleasure.

"That's it... let daddy claim this needy cunt. Your boyfriend is gonna be so mad, huh? Knowing you're Rafe Cameron's bitch now."

Your walls fluttered around him at his words, a low groan leaving his lips.

"feels so good, daddy," you whined.

He just hummed, his skilled hips rolling roughly into yours, the added pleasure of his thumb on your clit was only driving you closer to the edge of release.

"You gonna cum f'me? You gonna cum on daddy's dick while he takes your slutty virginity?"

"Yes, yes -- shit."

Your orgasm hit you hard, your body shaking as the coil in your tummy snapped. Eyes squeezed shut, walls clenching around his twitching shaft.

"Good girl, good girl. You want daddy to cum in this needy cunt? Give you a baby to remember your first time?"

An embarrassing sound escaped you, head nodding quickly. If you were able to think rationally, you would have said fuck no.

But his body was so warm, his grip was so tight, his thrusts were so rough yet deep, you just begged.

"Please, Ray? Please fuck a baby into me?"

He grunted at your pleading, voice so sweet, how could he refuse?

His hips snapped quickly against yours, grunts and filthy words being poured out from his mouth as he chased his release.

Finally, you felt him twitching, and the new sensation of his cum coating your vaginal walls instead of your throat made you whimper.

"Fuck..." he gasped.

All you could do was pull him down into another sloppy, breathy kiss. Lips smashed together, tongues brushing and fighting.

He rolled over onto his back when he disconnected your swollen lips from his, a big, calloused hand caressing your hip.

"How was that?" He asked softly, a tone you had never heard from him before.

"Really good," you nodded, still out of breath.

He hummed, letting you rest for a moment.

"C'mere, pretty girl."

He guided you onto his lap, still caressing your hip with one hand, the other going to grope your left boob.

"Daddy's gonna teach you how to ride dick now."

Your eyes widened slightly, knowing you were in for a long night.

[malachitezmeyka]

I’ve been so completely out of it all day bc of last night’s revelation, it’s literally been the only thing I could think about, and the deeper I get in analysing my life experiences the more realisations I come to, and each one feels more horrific than the last.

Not horrific as in terrible, but as in it feels like whatever remains of my sense of self is completely falling apart. I thought I was bi for so long, didn’t even spend a single second questioning it. Never did I even think that I may be wrong, it seemingly made too much sense for me to be wrong. But the sense it made was the fact I was attracted to both male and female characters in animated shows, not real people.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a crush on a real person before. Not on someone I knew irl, nor on some actor/celebrity, nor on someone I saw on tiktok or wherever. And it’s like, I can acknowledge someone is attractive, even that someone is beautiful or hot, but it’s never personal when I do. Pretty girls I see don’t linger in my mind at all. I can’t picture myself dating them or getting intimate or kissing them or anything. It’s a purely aesthetic attraction with no feelings behind it. With animated/drawn characters it’s different, I can actually feel all the physical side-effects of looking at someone you’re romantically attracted to. But when the scale of a drawing slides too far towards realism, like with museum paintings or even that one Suiren portrait I drew once, the attraction fades again. I’m just not and have never been attracted to real people.

At my old school the topic of which celebrities you found hot came up often and I never knew what to say. Naming the ones I knew were conventionally beautiful but I wasn’t personally attracted to felt like lying, so eventually I started naming people my mom found hot. She’d tell me which actors she had a crush on when we watched movies or shows together and I pretended to see her point. After a while I managed to convince myself that it wasn’t pretending and that I really agreed with her. I realise now it all boiled down to purely aesthetic attraction again, I had no genuine interest in them. And one could assume it was just my preference for women showing, but female celebrities faced the exact same treatment from me.

I started reevaluating a lot of sexuality-related feelings and life moments. My dad’s SIL often laments how I’m 17 and don’t have a boyfriend yet, and when I say I don’t want one she goes “Why? It’s not like you have to sleep with him, wouldn’t it be nice to be gifted flowers and taken on dates and the like?” I usually just shrug but my internal answer was always a resounding no. I once again thought I just liked girls more, but when I actually thought about what if dad’s SIL wasn’t homophobic and posed the question in a sapphic way, I realised that my answer wouldn’t change. I don’t want a partner of any gender or to be taken out on dates or anything like that.

It was here that things really started to go downhill for me last night bc then, once I realised I didn’t want a girlfriend, I turned my attention to the more sexual side of things. It’s possible to be aromantic and allosexual, right? But I’ve known for a while that a lot of sex-related things are a very big ick for me, penetration of any kind being on top of the list. Forget dicks and toys, I don’t want fingers or tongues inside me either, not have I ever used a tampon. But not everyone likes penetration, that’s fine, there are other things. But the thought of someone lavishing my tits with affection just makes me way too hyper aware of them which triggers my dysphoria, and I’ve always found kissing to be extremely gross, and… pretty much every sexual act I can think of causes some kind of rejection in me. Fantasies are fine, fics/writing are fine, even watching porn is fine for the most part (even then, I can only get off to it if I imagine 2d characters in place of the people), but the second I think of something actually being done to me? It makes my toes curl in a very much bad way.

I’m by no means a completely non-sexual being, quite the opposite actually. I’m horny a lot of the time and it’s completely normal for me to get off at least once almost every day, but again, it’s all only in fantasies (which never feature me, only characters). I’m so averse to the idea of fucking or being fucked that I don’t even touch myself, ever. I accidentally discovered that rubbing my thighs together in a specific way feels good when I was younger and have just been doing that ever since. I’ve tried using my hands but it’s just not pleasurable in any way. I really don’t want anything or anyone touching me, ever, at all. And it’s so weird to realise because it seems natural for someone with as high of a libido as mine to want to be fucked, right? But the mere thought disgusts me and causes insane anxiety to overtake my entire body, and idk if there’s a clearer way for my mind to tell me that no, you don’t want any of that, trust me.

That’s another thing. Maybe I’m just scared. I have debilitating anxiety, I’m terrified of literally everything, of course that, added to my body image issues and complete inexperience in all manners romantic or sexual, would result in these types of feelings. Maybe I just haven’t met the right person yet who will awaken my attraction to real people and cause me to want a partner and romance and sex and whatever else. Maybe I’ve convinced myself that I’m too much of a mess for anyone to love me so it’s better to label myself as aroace before I get my heart broken. I don’t know. But writing it off on all that doesn’t feel right, and while I’m not exactly the best judge of my own feelings, my gut is telling me that I’m wrong. It’s not anxiety and inexperience, it’s my very real borderline aromantic and asexual feelings finally being acknowledged.

I think back on my life. I thought I had serious crushes before, I even had a girlfriend for a few months, but that was all initiated by someone else. The other person showed interest first and I thought “Okay, they’re pretty enough, maybe I can do this, maybe I just need to get into it and the feelings will come later”. Nothing ever went anywhere beyond hand holding or brief hugs, and I was okay with that. I enjoyed spending time with them and lit up whenever they showed up and thought that’s what loving someone felt like. But now that I have real friends that I’m 100% sure I’m not attracted to, I realised I feel the exact same way towards them. I just like being with people who want to spend time with me and who I share common interests with, and I like being paid attention to. Nothing romantic to it. When it comes to my good friends I always had a position of “Well I don’t find them particularly attractive but if they were romantically interested in me then I’d go for it” and thought that was a crush. It’s no wonder anything vaguely romantic in my life ended before it could properly start. Really hard to be in love with or build a relationship with someone who clearly doesn’t feel romantically interested in you, even if they’re trying very hard to be.

And that’s the center of the whole issue. There’s nothing wrong with being aroace, nor with being wrong about the label you chose when you were 12. What makes be sob for hours is this feeling as if a knife was driven through my heart. All these years I’ve been subconsciously lying to myself and I didn’t even know. I can’t blame myself for that, I’m aware, I had no way of realising I was wrong because I never had any experience. But the pain and confusion and sense of being lost are still there, beyond all rationalisation. And all those times I said I wanted to be railed by a pretty girl and other similar things to that? Also not true. I said those things because it felt like what a horny queer girl should say. It wasn’t a conscious lie, I really believed it when I said it, it never even registered as false until now. Until I dug deep inside myself and realised I don’t want to be railed by anyone in any way ever. For the longest time I genuinely thought I wanted what’s normal for queer allosexual women to want. It’s hard coming to terms with that I really, really don’t. I’ll definitely need some time to process everything properly,

Honestly, this revelation isn’t too surprising, all things considered. I once had a conversation with someone who talked about those younger years of every queer girl, staring at other girls in the changing rooms, wanting to date them, wanting to be a boy so it’d be possible before they knew gay people existed and becoming sneakier with their glances after they found out. And I really couldn’t relate to that. I’ve never felt attracted enough to someone to experience any of that. Back then I thought I couldn’t relate bc I never had a sexuality crisis nor did I hide my sexuality from the other girls in my class, almost all of whom were queer too. Turns out I just genuinely don’t experience attraction like that. Or at least I think I don’t. I don’t know. Now that I’ve got most of my thoughts regarding all this on ‘paper’, hopefully I’ll have a clearer mind and can come to a more concrete conclusion. And for now… let’s just put me very firmly in the ‘questioning’ box.