#bc i tend to do that
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the strugglerrrrrrrrr
#for context i need to finish editing c8 of my heart so i can get it posted#and it’s always such a struggle to get started#bc once i actually get get into the groove i’ll finish it up and it’ll be fine#also the way there’s only have two chapters left after this 👀#i feel like i’ve been working on this fic for forever#but maybe that’s because i’ve used it as escapism to deal with my personal shit#bc i tend to do that#it’ll be weird when it’s over#it always is with any project#i say as i’ve still got three chapters including 8 which is half finished#but ya know me always thinking about the end before it’s even upon me#bc i’m kooky like that ✌🏻🤪✌🏻#but it’ll be onto the next shitty lil fic (affectionate) <3#whatever that may be#i have some ideas#i have like a choice of like three wips to pick from#maybe i’ll do two at once who knows#but like as if i don’t struggle with just one at a time#so why not give myself more work and get in my own head about it#but eh we’ll see i guess#i’m not planning on doing anything like immediately after i finish my heart anyways#was planning on trying to get my heart! finished by new year’s#might still happen but we’ll see#at least early in the year if not#i still have a while i suppose so i’ll figure something out#but yeah i’ll try to maybe do some work tonight#and it’ll be posted as soon as i can#gwen rambles#gwenposting#gwen’s fics
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thinking about the way simon leans into you for a kiss like this— he curls his hand around your throat, and he doesn’t really tug or tighten it, instead uses his hold as a leverage to push himself close to you, like he is sucked into your gravitational force, always orbiting. always tethered.
he doesn’t know how it is to not be with you.
and this kiss, just one of many, shows the attraction he always succumbs to. he holds onto you like the way one would clap their hands around a glittering firefly, snuffing its way out to force it to sparkle only for themselves, and folds himself close like he is about to whisper a wish.
the kiss becomes a prayer; it is his offering to you.
and when he pulls back, you see the way your lips had burned him, leaving him all pinked cheeks and twitching nose. you feel breathless at the weight of his adoration, his reverence, because simon looks at you like you are worth more than the flesh that holds you up.
you swallow, throat bobbing, and simon’s fingers twitch on your skin. his hand around your throat feels like an anchor but you watch the way he still sinks into you.
#simon ghost riley x reader#i dont usually like those -holds their neck to kiss them- bc they tend to always tug the person being ‘choked’#but the vision that simon just grasps you there to feel your humanity before pitching forward to you -not tugging you to him- makes me#breathless w need. its a visceral vision; i so want him to do this to me#suns
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balor 🥰
#fields of mistria#fom#balor#fanart#art#sir...im so in love w you...#if anyone else like me loved the fuck out of stardew but was disappointed in the romance options...please play this game#the characters/interactions/dialouge is top notch#i knew nothing about this game i found out about it 2 days before release#i thought i was gonna go for march#and immedately met this guy and just#his first line is like (im a traveling merchant) and i went (oh no)#i have such a THING for merchant characters#i can finally live out my dream of romancing volo pkmn#sort of#except not evil#i think#love that the romance options in this game are like... adults with jobs/dreams/aspirations#unlike stardew where everyone is supposedly an adult but is like a teenager??#but in this game everyone is a contributing member of society#love that <3333#the dialouge for real is amazing#anyway. it still in uhh...early access? so you cant do everything youll be able to do one day#but thats good for me bc i tend to blast through these games and do 90% of things within a week#fanart???? from my ass???#only because i love this game and him#im so fucked up for him#not me tracking his ass down everyday to talk to him#also what i love about this game is being able to talk to everyone multiple times a day#like every hour or something
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in a mood (ID in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#doing straight up nothing with the bestie. really good activity of doing nothing#i mainly drew this just so i can test how itd be not drawing their faces bc i Love drawing their faces a little too much.#maybe ill throw them in a more intense situation next time i try it bc it just ended up focusing on wolfwood and his silly newspaper#he's reading the news... cruel happenings all around no mans land... have to keep up to know where to go next and where to avoid#but theres also some guy in the same room being distracting as hell. i think they can coexist without bothering each other but theyd#be so painfully aware of the other person... both of them usually have tended to their own space after all for years. ww especially i think#would be easily distracted with vash's presence bc he's spent 2 years thinking about him already (for his mission...)#and thinking about vash is a Little easier than dealing with his personal anguish#though it can definitely overlap too. and sometimes its not that bad. sometimes its just vash's hand feeling unexpectedly nice and gentle#ruporas art
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temperature dropped by 2 celcius today. its oficially autumn and im back to drawing old characters. and writing about miserable teenagers and their unsaid past
#it was a nice break now im back to rewriting migawki again because i really missed those characters#i also got a lot of inspo for how i can rewrite it and what story i can make with them#hopefully this time i wont give up as fast as i tend to do. i hope#i will also change the name of the project while rewriting bc now it reminds wveryone of my 2022 webtoon of the same name#rysowanie w nowym mieszkaniu jest napfawde ciezkie nie wiedzialem ze az tak nie potrafie rysowac w innych miejscach ktore nie sa domem#ale juz idzie mi coraz lepiej#udalo mi sie narysowac jedna cala rzecz wiec jest super#digital art#oc art#digital artist#oc#lou ocs#sory za moje fuckass pismo w ogole lepiej nie umiem
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Hi! this is kinda an art request if u dont mind. And it's angst related, can you draw like where wanda and cosmo obvs have seen for a while how (human) timmy has been treated by his real parents. I just want to see like the "last straw" which lead Cosmo and Wanda wanting them to make Timmy as their own. (IM HAPPY THAT TIMMY HAS A FAMILY THAT LOVES AND CARES FOR HIM)
The "Last Straw"?
Cosmo and Wanda have seen humans at their best. They've seen humans at their worst. They've seen anything and everything that they've gone numb and used to what humans get up to.
But nothing's shaken them quite like Timmy's case did. Nothing has ever made a Fairy feel such strong human emotions than what Timmy made them feel, on that one particular night.
The thing that broke Cosmo and Wanda was Timmy himself.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
#asks#itty bitties fop au#germangirl321#tw abuse#tw emotional abuse#tw emotional distress#tw implied death#tw implied sui#tw sui implied#<- ask to tag#(especially ask to tag bcs these are the offered tumblr tags)#godkids wish for stupid things all the time. sometimes they wish for good things and bad things. or things that helps themselves or others#they wish for things that teaches them life lessons or for things that damages them in the future.#but at their core every child has a pure wish that they want more than anything.#for hazel. her core wish is for change to stop. for dev. his core wish is for his father's love#timmy's wish. at the center of everything. is to run away from himself and all that he is. to be something- anything- but Him.#its this core wish that fairies desire most. its their ambrosia. and its almost always impossible to grasp in its purity.#they cant stop change or forge a father's love after all.#Most fairies would be ecstatic to claim a child's core wish. It's the peak of their career- highly coveted highly praised.#but Cosmo and Wanda took no pleasure when they finally consumed their one- and only one for they'd never do it again- core wish.#as said before. cosmo and wanda really. really love timmy turner. and timmy really really loves his fairies. love!!! is a powerful thing!!#anyways this is a heavy topic and a heavy ask so im keeping it out of the main tags#also if you're curious as to whose responding back to timmy#its cosmo#lots of people tend to portray wanda as the more emotional sensitive type. yknow the “motherly” role.#but i think thats wrong.#was considering cutting out their responses for this ask#but then i figured that CosWan would be responding back in earnest to calm him down as best they could
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I've been thinking about Mollymauk, as I'm periodically wont to do, and the fandom discussion about him as a moral compass. Because the interesting thing here is, Molly wasn’t a very moral character. He was an unrepentant scammer. He had no respect for interpersonal boundaries and would deliberately push and break them. Generally, he was an asshole. As far as actually having a strong moral stance I would say Fjord was the standout of early m9, and to some extent Beau.
But here’s the thing: almost all of early m9 thought of themselves as horrible people. Fjord had been bullied so bad growing up that he still dealt with self-hate from it, and now suffered from survivor's guilt to boot. Caleb had killed his own parents. Beau, while she hated her dad, also had internalized self-hate and on some level thought she’d been such a shitty daughter she deserved his treatment. Nott was stuck in a body she considered monstrous. Yasha had survivor's guilt and knew she’d done bad things in her blank spots. Even when they did good, they didn’t think of themselves as good. Most of them were suspicious and asocial and faced the world with the same kind of distrust they expected to be (and were experienced in being) met with. (Jester was an exception, an agent of neither good nor bad but of amoral chaos)
But Molly was different. He was outspoken about loving life and people. He wanted to spread joy, even to people he didnt know or had even met: he slipped coin into people's pockets, hid a silver in a tree just so some stranger would one day be happy to find it. He openly cared for the party early on; was one of the first to step in and help Caleb when he went catatonic in battle. Above all, Molly had rules: where everyone else would agonize over what was the right or wrong or smart thing to do, Molly loudly proclaimed we don't leave people behind, and we leave every place better than we found it.
But the thing about Molly’s rules was, they were largely a cover. While the rest of the m9 thought they were bad even as they did good, Molly thought of himself as good even as he did bad. He scammed people, but made it a good and memorable experience, therefore thinking he gave more than he took. He charmed Nott and Fjord without consent, and when confronted would claim it was to help them. Out of the group, Beau saw through this, not because she was a better person but because she was a cynic. She saw that he caused harm, just as she did, and was personally affronted that he still thought of himself as good and tried to leave people happy, whereas she deliberately left every place worse than she found it.
I see Molly as a moral compass of the group not because he was actually any more moral than them, but because they made him their template. He was joy and brightness and he died trying to save them because it was the right thing to do, and they all chose to honor him by emulating his rules more than Molly himself ever did, because to them it was more than just a cover, backed up by genuine moral thought and discussion rather than small gestures. He taught them that it was possible to be kind of a shit person and still be good, to still love yourself and others. The idealized Molly they created never existed, and finally died for good when they resurrected him in the end and were met with a stranger, who they welcomed with the same love and care they would've expected Molly to show them.
#critical role#cr2#mollymauk tealeaf#long post#i know we're all thinking about a different dead pc today but this has been on my mind for a while and i wanted to write it out#i feel like discussions of molly tend to get stuck in two camps:#either 'he was a good kind and perfect moral compass' (lol no)#or: 'he was an asshole and you're all delusional' (also no)#molly was as much of an asshole as the rest of the m9#but he thought of himself as capable of being a good person and doing good things#and that counted for something even if he backed it up with empty gestures and platitudes bc there WAS genuine care in it#and when the m9 chose to emulate it it was no longer empty#nella talks cr
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people act like being intentionally whimsical is inherently more annoying than being intentionally serious but why. suppose my temper is just naturally whimsical.
#idfk what 'unmasking' really is i think its a Lot Of Things but for ME#ive always been so loke obviously Developmentally Delayed in the sense that like.#my natural inclination is to behave in ways that people tend to read as very childlike. and#people either assume thats Disability or they assume its Affectation#generally. and often i suppress it. like#i go back and forth on this and i have done for years tbqh i distinctly remember being like 20#and thinking IF I FEEL THE URGE TO SKIP WHY SHOULD I NOT SKIP?#like if my natural inclination is. to move my body in ways that people are used to children moving their bodies#literally who cares?#SO WHAT IF IM HUMMING AND SINGING ALL THE TIME SO WHAT IF I DO A LITTLE TWIRL#or hop on and off things. or whatever! WHOMST CARES. FOR WHAT REASON DO I NEED PPL TO TAKE MW SERIOUSLY#AT THE GROCERY STORE?#anyway raise your hand if your Affect is Offputting to People.#the thing that ive realized getting older tho is like. often people also like this bc#they feel like it gives them permission to also behave in weird ways in public#and i like that its nice
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new fic tomorrow night???
let me know if anyone wants to be tagged:))
ITS POSTED!!!
#NEW STORY ALERT#the story is done#not as long as i wanted to to be but it’s all my brain can give atm#i just need to do little things th account to make it look nice#also made a library blog bc i tend to repost alot#lowkey key wanna make a rebloging blog but i’ve rebloged to many things already here#theodore nott#theo nott#slytherin boys#theo nott x reader#theodore nott x reader#theodore nott smut#theo nott smut#ᯓᡣ𐭩queue post
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❤️⚔️
#ace!!! ft. ruggie v far in the bg. fun fact ruggie is the most commonly featured char in background cameos for the series#im not sure why. bc i do struggle drawing him. but idk he looks fun and made sense in them all so i rolled w it. ruggie sweep#also fun fact all the pics have hidden mickeys in the bg bc i am NOTHING if not dedicated. i gotta honor the source material#i rly tried to keep some level of outfit diversity in this series but it sucks bc bday outfits are hard to logically justify. and silver?#he has so few cards. so i went a lil out of the box and put him under sebek's camp jkt here. i think it tracks it works well. its cyute#silver 'tending the fire' his ass asleep. that fire is tending itself. maybe the birds will poke him if it starts dying down#the outdoor environments for this series were sooooo fun to do. i tried some new brushes and AUGH the foliage the TEXCHURR!!! yum#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#ace trappola#ruggie bucchi#suntails#i also think that foot belongs to jack howl on the right but i truly dont remember. i finished this roughly a month ago
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THEY SAY THERE IS A CARPENTER FROM THE PROVINCE PERFORMING MIRACLES IN THE CITY
the more or less finalized looks for Thomas and John (here's their first appearance in a sketchpage I made early on). also A Short Scene :)
and! the little block of text in the corner of the top page is playing off of Symeon the Logothete's Letter 111
trans. Mark Masterson (in Between Byzantine Men, Desire, Homosociality, and Brotherhood in the Medieval Empire)
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / tip jar!
#original tag#komiks tag#i found a brush that i had downloaded ages ago and never used emulates the bullshit i do in my sketchbook which means#characters with black hair are back on the table. thank FUCKING god#that was always the hardest thing to do digitally bc of how i ink and how digital brushes and programs tend to work#the carpenter & the merchant
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I feel so bad for Xel from the last comic but,, I admit I got a laugh out of a random thought because like, imagine that Scar and Grian bonked heads because their kid’s mass is like comically off,, Xel has the mass of the center of the sun (his adult body mass) crammed into his tiny body and he just forgot before he jumped
oomg grian is the strongest man in the universe
#ask#they fell simply bc kids are stronger than they seem. and heavier when you dont expect it#kidxelqua#i imagine xelqua Could change his mass tho.. he tends to do a lot of odd things when in danger#someone grabs him ? well hes either super heavy now or teleport like an enderman#can he do that on command normally ? no probably not#xelqua does a lot of weird shit and despite that is not aware hes a god#these two images kill me. why is he small
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there's no way the bathroom at peppino's pizza is actually that big but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . hey ummm anyway.... i care them...... anyway there's a lil ramble on my take on fake pep's like psyche or whatever in tags on the og post if ur into that kinda thing :y
hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette] [peppino]<- u are here [gustavo] [gerome] [noisette again]
#ramble after realtags yeag. shoutout to serrangelic btw suggesting the silhouettes thing bc i would have Died otherwise#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#fake peppino#gustavo and brick#arting#pizzaposting#so anyway i think fake peppino has like. a general awareness that he is supposed to Be Peppino and that he was Made to do that#and likewise he does generally try to...do that. the thing he does NOT realize is hes like really goddamn bad at it#not to be mean but like...c'mon. they are pretty distinctly different kinds of guys even beyond the physiology yknow.#he's neither on-brand nor fooling anyone dsjdsjjkgfsd. BUT!#since the rest of the cast generally likes him [at least as I play it] he thinks hes doing just fine#he's like 'oh they r happy with me so i must be getting a good grade in being peppino :)'#so getting told that 'yeah you actually really suck at that but that was never the reason people liked you'#and told that by og model peppino no less--yknow THE guy he's supposed to be living up to#who's already a bit intimidating for that and who ALSO totally wrecked him TWICE in the tower#making him acutely familiar with just how formidable the guy is and how much there IS to live up to....#it's a Moment for sure. not really a sad or hurt one though. just... contemplative.#thinking abt people liking him for being the guy he's already naturally been being even though that guy is Not Peppino#i don't think he's gonna be super broken up about realizing he has a bad grade in peppino given everything else hes got now#nor do i really think he cares enough to go like reinvent himself or whatever after the fact#he seems to b pretty clearly having fun with it already so i think he just keeps doing that#and in some cases he still has the pre-installed peppino traits/instincts like to cooka da pizza. and that's fine#is this projection. yes. but if youve been following me awhile you know most of my character writing is ghdhfdgf#gonna kinda expand on all this in the gerome one which is...one after next. itll be a bit but man.#anyway peppino will never admit to anyone and especially not himself that he's gotten a little attached to the guy. hee hoo#pep tends to be kinda surly but he certainly has his ways of showing he cares. all of which are on display here#''that thing is not my son'' says man currently watching thing's antics with the 'bemused dad' arms crossed pose. yeah ok buddy.#gus is totally onto him already but hes not gonna say anything.#if u read all this ur prize is not having to go decode fp's rot13. his lines are ''meant to be you...?'' and ''wrong question.''
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last night i got home kind of tipsy and very much in tears and my mother told me the force you exert to keep someone in your life is proportional to the force with which they will leave your life. if you have to fight tooth and claw to keep them, their leaving will be just as hard, just as harsh, and just as definite.
#she said it like a law. its just momentum.#also she told me to get a therapist and start archery ASAP bc i need to get it together#and also she said even granting that this person u were in love w was So Special . as in hot motorcycle-riding iranian masc lesbian in ldn#they arent the only one on earth and that once i start my proper adult life outside of studies etc etc i will probably no longer live in th#UK. she said most non straight iranians u would like have left the country anyway . where do you think they went? theyre out there#and also she asked me to imagine how many hot gay iranians there may be in italy or amsterdam or smth and i was like ok points 😭 maybe#ur right. anyway i was having a feeling of dread bc crying into the arms of ur strict asian mother while buzzed usually results in#death chaos destruction etc in the next few days but actually i think maybe she has genuinely changed as a person and the fear is#unwarranted#anyway i need to eat breakfast and study w the date person i met yesterday#they are so nice ??? genuinely so so sweet i dont feel attracted to them at all omg i genuinely think i have a thing for hot evil ppl 😭#but we could b besties . theyre a lot more romantic than the ex situationship person too like generally . ugh they should be perfect but#alas it appears i am shallow as fuck or potentially a lesbian actually#OH THEY MIGHT ALSO BE POTENTIALLY A LESBIAN BTW#i think i just tend to not date cis ppl entirely by accident#....feel free to rb if u want btw sorry for the rant
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if i make my rook younger and less capable than the rest of the team, struggling to keep themself alive let alone lead older and more experienced colleagues while trying not to let slip their terrible fear of failure, is it really "me being bad at playing a rogue" or is it "emergent narrative"
#we're going through it guys#i was feeling pretty good abt myself#then zara renata took my lunch money and stuffed me in a locker#this is a joke but it's also kind of real lol bc playing in a way that's actually pretty challenging is rly adding something for me#i tend to kind of steamroll games after a little practice but having the hard fights actually be really hard is like. rly fun!#screaming crying throwing up trying to hit electric ogre even once#surviving the cauldron literally on my last health bar no potions#world's best boy assan saving me in a very real way bc if i'd had to do that fight a second time i'd have succumbed to despair#talkin#auri de riva#theyre trying so so hard#my ocs#dav#dav spoilers#datv spoilers#veilguard spoilers#in the tags i mean#me being bad at playing a rogue is not a spoiler
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i think the thing that really gets me about all the "we've got to kill this guy kabru" meme redraws with mithrun is that in the very first conversation mithrun has with laios, he trusts him with, essentially the fate of the world and his life long revenge quest against the demon
#dungeon meshi#mithrun#laios touden#i just think is neat really.#like in a way. laios is entrusted with what has haunted both kabru and mithrun for a significant portion of their lives#actually i think its. pretty interesting how trusting mithrun tends to be. while he says outright that he knows kabru is plotting something#he lets him go and execute his plan to start with..think its only until kabru says hes going to go get the shadow lord's help that mithrun#is like 'yeah okay thats not going to work im going to go ahead with mine'#is just really interesting to me. how he gives people chances where others wouldn't. bcs im sure any other canary captain wouldn't#not that its not deserved but the demon benefits so much from people seeing the canaries as this unreasonable unforgiving threat#also it was absolutely to the winged lions benefit that marcille become the dungeon lord- even if it liked laios more marcille was more#vulnerable to his manipulation and brainwashing#i think laios could've been reasoned with before becoming the dungeon lord but marcille couldn't#dungeon meshi spoilers#went back to these tags after looking again and you know i think mithrun let kabru talk with the shadow lord so kabru would not interfere#with what he told the rest of the canaries to do#my post
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