#what if no one is interested and then i have to choose between abandoning it or posting into the void

[jinkoh]

break the ice - masterlist

juyeon x fem!reader smau

you've been crushing on hyunjae from the college's ice hockey team ever since you'd first seen him. but when you finally pluck up the courage and confess to him, somehow the person standing in front of you is his insufferable teammate instead? and why does he seem so happy about your confession?

tags: social media au, college au, ice hockey au (i promise u don't need to know anything), one-sided e2l, misunderstandings, accidental dating; warnings: swearing, stupid jokes, mentions of ice hockey appropriate violence (non graphic), probably alcohol consumption at some point, no face/body claims

a/n: soooooo i'm doing this 🙊 somehow starting this makes me v nervous but this ice hockey au is something i've been thinking abt since last november so i decided to just go for it 🫣 if you follow this story i'd rlly rlly appreciate any kind of comments/feedback so that i know someone is actually reading this and i'm not just posting into the void 🥺👉🏼👈🏼 anyway hope you'll enjoy the ride~

[ongoing] - updates every ~3-4 days

introductions.*❆•.❅·*

local circus (yn's friends) arctic foxes (the ice hockey team)

chapters.*❅.*⋆❇·.*

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN

EIGHT

NINE

TEN

ELEVEN

coming soon...

taglist open - ask/comment to be added • tbz masterlist

[galene-gothic]

𝖸𝗈𝗎 𝗏𝗌. 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖿𝗎𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗌𝗉𝗈𝗎𝗌𝖾’𝗌 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗒

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES TIP JAR

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 1 ꒱

꒰ Your current personality ꒱

You are someone who has dealt with aggression or passive aggression from other people who created drama in your life. These people were I’m hearing - egoistic, competitive and jealous, the kind to see the glass half empty. The energy that I’m getting is a group of ‘friends’ ganging up against you, just for the fun of it, so that they could possibly knock you down to a peg. That’s what their purpose seems to have been. Also, recently, if not throughout life, you’ve dealt with other people just disliking you, trying to humiliate you, backhanded jokes, mean comments to your face, etc. There was just this aggression that you could pick up from other people, even if they didn’t say anything, in fact, this energy might be even stronger now. Let me give you a simple question, did you achieve something, start working or just earning in some way? If yes, there’s your answer right there. Every time you’ll achieve something as simple as a small internal or external accomplishment, you’re going to have other people start feeling all worked up towards you for no reason. It is going to amplify the strongest when you get your first job/salary/earning of some sort and when you get into a relationship with someone. Right now, you are working through your shadows and revelations that came forth due to power struggle between you, and others that you decided to peacefully step out of while you had been forced into isolation or taken up solitude. You have an interesting personality as in, you like when others are jealous of you and there’s some drama due to it because it’s flattering but at the same, you don’t enjoy it because you’re someone who seeks peace. I just heard Regina George’s “and I was like ‘why are you so obsessed with me?’” You can’t deny that you do find it flattering how people seem to be kind of obsessed with you to some extent honestly. This is something you do not express outwardly to most people though. You are someone who is finding the strength to feel the beauty in life after a pretty long time. ‘Epiphany’ by Jin of BTS is the energy that I’m getting here. While, you were in this period of solitude, feeling weak and tired from the extreme aggression that you seem to have received from either a group of people or different people around the same time, you realised that you’re the one you should love and take care of. There were days when you couldn’t get out of bed without really really pushing yourself to do it but now, it’s just not as bad, you seem to be more enthusiastic about taking care of yourself. You have an iron heart but not in a bad way, you’re just very firm as a person in the actions that you take. You hold a silent power that you operate with and I’m calling this silent power because despite your actual personality and character being a certain way, you’re perceived to be pretty soft as a person. You’re someone who seems to fear abandonment and attachment, possibly due to your past experiences because you seem to have walked away from people and you’re firm in the decisions you make in regards to your life. No matter what you were like in the past, now if you choose to walk away, that’s it, you’ve walked away. You’re so much of a peace seeker that you avoid anyone you can if they even slightly disrupt your peace. People tend to view you as this loving person who’s emotionally volatile, insecure, uncertain about themselves and easy to manipulate. Also, someone warm with good intentions and very imaginative.

Which is why they think you’d be easy to manipulate because they may assume that they can sell you dreams and fantasies but little do they know, you demand and expect respect from others. They don’t realise that while you are a pretty peaceful person who is actively working on themselves, you crave power strongly. They don’t realise that you’ll always end up finding a way to have the upper-hand in any situation. I’m not sure what it is but you lack certain morals when you stop caring about people. You’re very in control of yourself by this point, in the past you used to think that knowledge was power so you tried to keep the other person mentally stimulated in order to keep them in your life, and you could have expressed certain thoughts in a more forceful and pushy manner but you may have realised that this is a trait of yours, and might be trying to get rid of it for the best? You’ve become very stern hearted as in, you don’t mind leaving people and situations without thinking much or without much evidence? You don’t really have it in you to wait it out anymore. Once you walk away, you also become closed off to communication in any form. You are someone who fakes happiness but still very in touch with your negative emotions, thoughts and patterns internally. Emotionally, you like for connections to develop naturally and kind of slowly, you’re someone who doesn’t jump into being all passionate and lovey dovey with someone as soon as you meet them. You’re like “I only know them for two weeks, I don’t know if they’re even a good person at all. They probably do not hold any loyalty towards me this early on, I do not need to trust them yet” is the way you approach connections these days, whether you’re aware of it or not. You’re also someone who carries most of your emotions by yourself. Even in your connections with others in the past, you’ve been the one to carry the most of the burdens. The connections wouldn’t even have carried on that long if it wasn’t for you doing all if not most of the work. However, now you’re someone who is driven towards goals and on a dedicated mission to succeed, that’s why your emotions seem to be much more reliant on yourself and your own progress than other people, and interpersonal connections. There have been situations that led you to ending some sort of conflict (or multiple ones) and detach caused you to feel powerless, underestimated, unworthy and manipulated in some way? You are focused on taking your power back now because you’ve realised that you’re not powerless? Like, ‘things can only hold power for as long as you let it hold your attention’ is what I heard. You’re trying to get more in control of your life but you’re not doing so in a restrictive manner. You’re releasing any and every old bond, one by one and have grown resistant to many kinds of temptations that you would have fallen for in the past. You’re breaking free as a person and developing more audacity in the best way possible is what I’m hearing. You’re reclaiming your power and are taking empowering choices. You’re letting go of limiting beliefs that seem to have had you trapped at some point, beliefs that you’re unworthy, that you’re not powerful that’s why others dislike you and find it easy to walk all over you. You’re realising that they feel the need to crush you, not because you’re weak but because they are and that they want to feel powerful by crushing other people. You realise the power that you have a person after a long time and you know that you haven’t even fully stepped into it yet but you’re getting there.

꒰ Your future spouse’s personality when you’ll be together ꒱

They’re going to be a very contemplative person when they’re by themselves. They will have this ability to look for beauty in everything. They’ll value passion greatly and will be able to find not only beauty but also wisdom, knowledge and I’m not sure what word to use but a feeling of peace mixed with passion and love for something universal, not anything all that divine but just a zest for life itself? I hope you understand what I’m trying to express right now. They’re going to be the type to overanalyse situations and people. I do not recommend trying to get them jealous or something of that sort because they’re going to get defensive and argue. Honestly, if you like your men (or women) obsessed and slightly possessive, you are going to love what I’m telling you. They’re going to stalk your social media pages, keep tabs on you, ask you where you’re going, who you’re going with, etc. If you tell them that you are going out with your friends and one of your friends is very active on socials, they’re going to view their stories to see if you’re with them, who all are present and what you are up to. They’re going to have a positive outlook on life after having undergone emotional lows, dealt with negative emotions, letting go and forgiven themself, and others. They are going to be extremely ride or die when it comes to you. They’re going to be there to support you and will be committed to being with you through thick and thin. They’re going to overcome loneliness, thanks to you and they’ll be utterly grateful to you for that. They’re going to find themself becoming more secure due to your connection and they’ll want to provide you with a secure home too. They’re going to have more trust, hope and faith in life, and I’m getting that it’s going to be because of you. You’re going to be welcomed by them with open arms. They’re going to be a lavish spender and could indulge in something like a substance though. I’m not getting it being in excess amount but lol, the money spending, indulging in just life, whatever their guilty pleasure is is going to be very big. They’re going to be a go getter when it comes to their goals. For some of you, they could be a protein junkie who eats a lot but then works out equally as much. The part I just mentioned is not going to be applicable for all of you.

They’re made for success because they are willing to work for it. I just heard “I can’t complain about having a lot on my plate when my goal was to eat.” There are going to be moments when they will misjudge you, they’ll doubt themself which could lead to some unfair blame and false accusations but they’re not going to let it get there. I just heard “it’s not your fault that they hover, I mean no disrespect. It’s my right to be hellish, I still get jealous.” However, emotionally they are going to be heavily committed to you. To them, you’re basically going to be one with them. They’re going to have a pretty good sex drive that will be emotionally driven because of how much they’ll love you. They will be an optimistic person usually and very passionate when it comes to you, and life itself. They’re going to crack a lot of jokes with you and also their friends. I’m getting the two of you just sitting there, making fun of the way someone said something or did something and having a good laugh about it. They’re going to want to be a good spouse and partner. They’re not just going to want you to be their spouse so that they can say that they have someone, it’s going to be deep and emotionally fulfilling to them. ‘Ishq sufiyana’ or ‘divine, passionate and deep love’ is literally how your connection is going to be, it’s going to be sort of divine in nature or at least that’s how they’ll perceive. They’re going to feel like the impossible is possible with you due to the synergy that you’ll share, a very divine and deep one that will only make them feel like they come alive even more everyday. They’re going to feel like you’re their soulmate and are going to act the part with you. They’re going to be so emotionally content with you and the family you’ll create (even if it’s just the two of you), they won’t be able to stay away from you, like they just won’t. Supposing, they have to travel for work, they’ll feel like their heart isn’t beating the way it should, only after they come back home to you will they feel fine again. The two of you are going to bond because much like you they’re also a silent power and iron hearted. It only makes your love more real though. They’re going to be very childlike though, like no matter how much they grow up, they’ll always continue being like their child self i.e. kind, fun loving, pure and innocent but just in a bigger and more grown body 😭. You gotta be careful with their heart, they’re so pure, they need to be protected for real. Thank you for reading. Much love and take care.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 2 ꒱

꒰ Your current personality ꒱

In the past, you used to be someone who used to work in harmony with others and almost blended with others in a way where you even started thinking, and looking at things from their perspective even if it was hurtful and disrespectful towards you. You’ve grown to become someone who values passion and has a very passionate nature that you, yourself are aware of, and you have this understanding now that you’re not as helpless as you once felt. You might feel like even though the helplessness felt real back then, it never really was. One thing that you seem to be aware of is that others did put you in this situation of helplessness but instead of being all “I’m the victim”, even though you have the awareness that you didn’t deserve it, you’re instead reasonably accepting where others did you wrong and where you did yourself wrong. You don’t seem to care as much about what others think anymore. You are starting to become more empowered but you know that this is not the end, that you’ll only grow to become more and more empowered going forward until you fully step into your power. You are at a phase where you find it both funny and angering that you let yourself be trapped by shitty people and shitty situations. You’re not being excessively hard on yourself anymore though. Instead, your life is changing and you’ve made the choice to actively change for the best too. You’re embracing transformations and all the events of the past that are helping you grow into a new version of yourself. You’re still in the process of it. You’ve become very cutthroat and don’t mind being mean. You realise that your boundaries were too low at some point, your standards were too low which led to you experiencing low quality experiences so you’re honestly a bit defensive. You’re reestablishing your boundaries and have already managed to do enough of it. You’re very firm in your boundaries at this point and desire to be yourself, even if it offends others. You’re also very hardworking and have this desire to improve your skills, and build new ones. You value routines, self improvement and productivity these days, and actively try to manage them. You still hurt sometimes but I’m getting that compared to how much you hurt the past and how helpless, and trapped you felt, this is nothing. Hurtful memories and thoughts pop up into your mind sometimes but you are choosing not to operate from that state of hurt at this point. Emotionally, you’re giving yourself a chance to be a kid, you’re going yourself a chance for newness, you’re giving yourself a chance to dream and to feel happy, joyful and grateful despite all the pain that you’ve experienced. You’re starting to find and develop this new passion for life and yourself, and also a new way of thinking and communicating that is creating this contentment within you. You’re starting to count your blessings is what I’m hearing. There was once a time when you wished for nothing more than to change, to be open to newness and now you have it, despite feeling heavy hearted sometimes, usually you’re pretty content and satisfied these days even if you’re not filled with utter joy, you still have an inner joy within you.

You’re planning your future based on your passions while trying to make the most out of your life right in the present moment. I saw this video on Instagram, basically the girl asks god to make her life better than 99% of the people and god fulfils her wish but she ends up living the same life she currently has because her life is better than 99% of the people already. You seem to be sort of aware of the fact that despite the problems, you also have your own set of blessings anyway so you’re choosing to not let the sorrow and negativity you feel sometimes overpower you. You value passion so much, you probably think about sex a lot too. On a soul level, you fear being abandoned, betrayed and hurt. You fear being heavily emotionally involved with people just to be left behind. You’ve realised that the realest connections are those that flow naturally yet at its own time and not the connections where you seem to vibe right away just to be disillusioned later. You’ve learned many tough lessons through the tough realisations that you had when you had to accept things as they were. You’re very passionate and seem to be focused on your goals in some way. You’ve realised that no one can bring you the happiness that you can bring yourself. You try to be enough for yourself while also actively developing as a person. You have a great zest for exploring and seeing where life has to take you. You’re sort of detached and yet anticipating growth, and change in your life. Your approach to connections have changed, you want to be the one who gets approached and pursued. You have this desire to leave all of your past behind, to simply be present and you’re doing really well, I would say. You sometimes think “just like I desire connections, other people also desire connections. They can come to me if they’d like.” Your standards for the people you’re going to let in seem to be pretty high too. You are proud that you have matured enough to not look at your past too nostalgically. You’ve become someone who doesn’t value your history with people as much anymore, you only value what their recent and current actions show you. You’ve given up on carrying the burdens of connections solely by yourself, you prefer dealing with your emotions by yourself and these days dealing with negative emotions for you is to just letting them go, just letting them slip away. You’re someone who prioritises self care and is deliberately taking care of yourself. Emotionally, you’re remaining a lot of control within yourself. You’re at a point where if anyone tries to get you out of your emotionally peaceful zone, you’re going to get angry and possibly blow up. You’re very selfless emotionally and desire someone so strikingly and unconditionally kind, and selfless in your life that you would naturally feel like you can give out unconditionally, selflessly and generously. You also think about virtues like kindness and selflessness a lot because it’s innately in your nature. Despite choosing to have stronger boundaries and not being as selfless as you once were, you’re still kind and giving in some way. You seem to have a lot of faith in yourself. You believe that the grass will always be greener for you no matter where you end up because you have the resources to and are willing to water it.

꒰ Your future spouse’s personality when you’ll be together ꒱

Your future spouse is someone who doesn’t mind leaving people behind. I keep on getting something about peace here, they do not like it when people try to mess with their peace of mind. There seem to have been times in community settings like school, church, etc. or work settings in which people have taken offence to their presence for no reason and made it their mission to humiliate, hurt and leave your person out within those environments. Something like this could have happened during their school life, possibly middle school for some of them or highschool which has caused this thing to stay deep within their psyche. “I can never forget” is what I’m hearing. They will still be carrying some baggage from that time. What seems to have been even more heartbreaking for them was that they didn’t even feel like they belonged anywhere. Some of them didn’t even feel like belonged within their own family. “You’re in the wind, I’m in the water, nobody’s son, nobody’s daughter.” They didn’t feel like they belonged anywhere so wherever they were was their home. They’ll know how to take good care of themself. They’ll also be good natured and genuinely consider others including you obviously. They’re going to put a lot of emphasis onto both self care and selflessness. When they were younger, they felt like they were loved only when they tangibly added onto other’s lives so they naturally tried to be of service to others but at some point, they found out that they could be disrespected despite what they do for others but they found an inner joy when giving out freely and selflessly so they will try to give out to those who they think deserve, and need it. It seems to be very subconscious, something that they won’t be aware of. They’re going to worry about your well-being and quite literally the type to scold you if you tell them that you haven’t eaten yet. They’re going to be the one to pursue a connection with you and will be very sensitive, and tactful. They’ll know just what to say to make your heart flutter and slowly open up to trusting them. They’re going to be a true romantic and such a charmer. Like, you won’t even be able to stay mad at them because they’ll know just how to melt your heart. I’m getting that whenever you’re with them, you’ll just be smiling ear to ear. Despite the baggage that they’ll be carrying, they’re going to be a very present person. Some of them are also going to be very physically active as well. They’re going to know how to make you feel special by expressing their gratitude for you. “You know, I don’t know how I got so lucky to get with you.” The love that you’re going to share is going to feel surreal in nature due to how well they’ll treat you. They’re going to be quite a flirt with you. In fact, I don’t like to say this and it’s not intentional but due to how smooth their tongue naturally is, there will be moments when you’ll probably get mad about them flirting with others. I’m getting a very golden retriever kind of a personality from them.

They’re going to be very touchy with you in little ways such as resting their head on your shoulder, tugging at your sleeves, kissing your shoulder, kissing your neck, so on and so forth. Despite moments when you’ll get upset about their smooth tongue, they’re going to make it up to you by romancing you. They’re also going to be genuinely remorseful because despite their intentions, they’re going to understand where you’re coming from. They’re going to be the type to pepper you with kisses all over your face while apologising to you. Instead of jumping to be all defensive when you point out something that hurts you or makes you feel less secure within the connection, they’re instead going to take accountability for their actions and tongue, and genuinely try to make it up to you and will try not repeat the same thing in the future. They’re honestly very pure of heart. They’re going to be a bit more secretive about their negative emotions initially but you’ll be able to see right through them because the connection you’ll share will be very youthful in nature. Like, you’re going to bring out their inner child so you’ll naturally end up seeing their vulnerabilities. Even throughout the marriage, late into it, they’re going to have the biggest crush on you. Honeymoon phase? What is that? They’ll only know your connection. They’ll be psychically connected to you. You’ll understand each other without having to say much if anything at all. I just heard ‘completing each other’s sentences’. Deep into the marriage, they’re going to break down in front of you and legit cry, not caring about gender roles, and stereotypes. I’m getting that your marriage is going to be one where there will not be particular gender roles, they’re going to want to take care of you and the household in any way possible, and you’ll want to do the same. There could be some childhood or abandonment wound for many of your future spouses. They’re going to have worked on healing their wounds of not having been enough in the past, of having been left out in the cold, of having been abandoned time and time again. They could have felt abandoned by their family emotionally and financially, like even if they had family, it was basically as good as not having any. Not every one of them is going to have had a bad family life but they’ll still have dealt with abandonment in the past and will have dealt with the aftermath of that. They’ll have released the grief and will be moving forward with you after having overcome a lot of despair. They’re going to have an understanding of what’s truly valuable and that’s going to be you, that’s going to be the present moment and just life as it is. You’re going to heal their inner child, make their inner child feel happy and safe, and they could never not love you due to who you are and how you make them feel. Thank you for reading. Much love and take care.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 3 ꒱

꒰ Your current personality ꒱

You are a loving, kind and nurturing person who is thinking about how you’re never anyone’s first choice. ‘Nobody’ by Mitski is coming through here. You have always been very empathetic and kind, often even trying to look at things from the other person’s perspective and just remaining eternally loving, and empathetic. ‘You’re losing me’ by Taylor Swift is coming through. “How long could we be a sad song? Till we were too far gone to bring back to life. I gave you all my best me’s, my endless empathy and all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier. Fighting in only your army, frontlines, don’t you ignore me. I’m the best thing at this party (you’re losing me) and I wouldn’t marry me either - a pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her.” You’ve developed this mindset of “what’s the point of genuinely doing for people if they won’t even recognise it or appreciate it?” You used to have good intentions towards people and tried to be there for them in tangible ways. You’re thinking about all the times that you were neglecting yourself by trying to be there for others just because you wanted to remain unconditionally loving. You wonder if you were scared to be lonely sometimes. You’re adjusting your priorities currently because you feel like you’re being unable to take care of yourself as well as you could. A very specific message but someone here could have not been taking their medicines or multivitamins for a few days now, possibly a week or so (maybe you ran out of it or just forgot). Due to how everyone has preferred someone else over you, you sometimes wonder if you’re just that unworthy or at least if people deem you to be so. Internally, you seem to be aware that you’re a very worthy and admirable person but for some reason, it seems to remain unrecognised by others which confuses you. Your self esteem seems to be really low and you’re a bit more self reliant these days because in the past, being kind, loving and social, someone who gave a lot led you to nothing but humiliation, disrespect and loneliness. I’m hearing that song in my head but it’s been such a long time since I’ve heard it, I’m not sure what the lyrics are. Just looked it up and “what do you get when you fall in love? A guy with a pin to burst your bubble, that’s what you get for all your trouble. I'll never fall in love again”, “what do you get when you kiss a guy? You get enough germs to catch pneumonia. After you do, he'll never phone ya. I'll never fall in love again”, “don’t tell me what it's all about ‘cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out, out of those chains, those chains that bind you” and “what do you get when you fall in love? You only get lies and pain and sorrow. So for at least until tomorrow. I'll never fall in love again.” I’m also getting that you have money and career on your mind, that’s what your main area of concern these days is. You felt left out in the cold, actually, it’s not just a feeling, you were in fact left out in the cold. You pretty much had your life turned upside down and everything stripped away from you. Currently, you’re trying to climb up this rock bottom and have already made significant progress. There seems to be a lot of financial responsibility placed upon you so there are times when you get into small disagreements and discussions with people because of money?

Probably just family members. You could feel like there is no one to not only emotionally support you but also financially support you. Someone in your family could have made a financial promise to you but could not follow through. It could have been something as simple as “focus solely on your education because I’ll make sure you get to complete your education” just for them to be unable to live up to that promise. Your worst of the worst fears came true, I’m not even exaggerating right now but you have just been facing it and trying to rise above it all. You’ve already survived the worst and you seem to be aware of that. You’re learning a lot from the past and are trying to build a stronger foundation, and more stability for and within yourself. You feel isolated and are choosing to be alone as well. You’re slowly healing, even if you don’t feel like it, trust your journey. One thing that I need to correct you about are your little anger tantrums that you’ve been having recently. You’re facing a lot of setbacks in your life and tend to feel uninspired by it sometimes but you still try to get up, and maintain a routine. You seem to have failed to do so many times this year but it’s almost the end of the year and you’ve not yet given up, that says a lot. Even emotionally, you’re pretty alone. Just a hack for you, you need to commit to a routine and goal consistently, that’s how you’re going to grow emotionally and become more stable. You feel like emotionally too, within connections most people are inefficient and you’d rather be alone than settle for such inefficiency. You lacked receiving respect from your peers at one point which led to you feeling powerless and possibly even manipulated. You could have fallen victim to other people acting like they were better than you, that they were right when in reality, they were just self absorbed and acting self assured but back then, it was easy for you to fall victim to them undermining you. You seem to have had an inferiority complex back then honestly. It caused you to feel confused yet angry but with no where to express any sort of emotions at all. You were given the misinformation that something was wrong with you and you believed it. Now that you’re starting to come to your senses, you’re like “how could I be so stupid?” and you’re mostly angry at these people. You’re focused on your own ethics, morals, money and provision of some sort. Many of you here seem to be providers or at least self providers at a young age with a genuine desire to provide outwardly to others. You are currently breaking free from all that had you trapped and feeling disempowered. You’re starting to accept yourself and are becoming free. You’re embracing your authenticity and are not as afraid of being the black sheep anymore as you once were. You are making choices everyday that your course of life could depend on. Every little change you make could make or break your future. You’re a very emotionally intense person and have jumped to conclusions that if they loved and respected you, they’d not put you through everything that you had to go through. You are also self protective and slightly closed off when it comes to connections because you desire emotionally rich and intense people who will choose you, and only you. You lack tolerance for anything lesser than this.

꒰ Your future spouse’s personality when you’ll be together ꒱

Right off the bat, I am getting that the both of you will act out in ways that are incompatible with each other. Initially, before the two of you get together, they’re going to feel connected to you and will want to explore that connection with you, and will desire directness so they’ll come forth fast but it’s going to come off as kind of off putting to you. You’re going to awaken this love within them, the desire for it, this excitement and you’ll make their inner child very very happy. They’ll be taken by you almost right away but they seem to flirt in a way where they come off egoistic and arrogant. This reminds me of that one time when one guy called me weak right on the first meeting as an attempt to apparently ‘flirt with me’ 💀. I found him very off putting too so I totally get you here. You’re going to see them as someone who has high expectations for themself and others but fears new responsibilities, and is sort of commitment phobic. It’s going to be funny because they’ll be getting so emotionally involved with you, having so much love for you and just feeling giddy around you, like they’ll feel like a child around you quite literally which could lead to their personality coming off a bit childish too. The way they’ll present themself will make you not want to trust them. They’ll end up acting like a bit of an ‘all talk, no action’ kind of a person. You’ll also find them to be sort of rude when they’ll try to tease you and you won’t have it in you to put up with whatever this bullshit is. Not my words, that’s how you’ll think. Oddly enough, they’ll also be acting with a lot of integrity and fairness. They’re going to have a lot of life lessons that they’re going to share with you. They’re going to be truthful with you for the most part but you’re still going to doubt their loyalty due to how commitment phobic they come off. You’re just going to find them to be unstable for you. You’ll think that you’ll be around each other for just a short time then move on with your lives once you lose touch with each other. At some point, they’re going to end up making you feel unwelcome and vice versa. This is why I was saying that you will both act out in ways that are incompatible with one another. You’re going to feel like it’s just difficult for the both of you to come into the same page and they’re going to feel like that too. You’re going to think that they didn’t take enough of an initiative when it came to you so they must’ve not wanted you enough. They’ll feel like maybe you lack feelings towards them and it was all in their head. You will probably fall out of touch with one another and they’re going to miss you so much. They’re going to find more of themself, more love and more direction within their life but there’s going to be this lack of emotional fulfilment. They’re going to reminisce over you and miss you so much when you’re in no contact. I’m not sure how you’ll come back together but their love for you will not have lessened with time, instead it will have only intensified, alongside their awareness of it having grown stronger. When you’ll first meet each other, even if you really wanted to, you would not have been able to make it work because you will just be so out of sync with one another but this time apart is going to be beneficial in terms of being sure about your feelings.

You will make them question their values a lot and they will make you question yours which could be the reason you feel triggered by each other, hence you put this off as something unstable and ‘not right’ for you. You will put the past behind in order to move forward together. When you’ll be together, they’re going to create a lot of conflicts with you because first, you seem to be incompatible with each other, second, they’ll sort of question your loyalty and their importance in your life, they’ll just feel like you were more than fine without them when you lost contact the first time so why wouldn’t you be fine now? You’re going to love this pile if you like your partners obsessed with you though because they will be. Also, I think that you’re going to enjoy seeing them all riled up over you because it will make you feel desired but at the same time, you’ll also not like it. The connection you’ll share will be so complicated, I don’t even know what to say. You’ll most likely be opposite in some ways which will lead to an irresistible attraction but also disagreements. They’re always going to want to do right by you within the connection and will want to grow old with you. They’ll be committed to you and will take accountability for anything that might have affected you negatively. They’re going to want to have the partnership be fair and balanced. They’re going to get pretty jealous and will want to be your one, and only in every way. They’re going to be quite a grudge holder though. They’re going to feel unstable within your relationship sometimes because of how you didn’t seem to have any problem being away from them the first time you lost touch. If you talk to them in a slightly different tone, cancel plans or travels, they’re going to feel upset and slightly unstable. They’re going to sometimes feel like they have an overload of things to do all the time but they still make up time for you but you don’t do the same for them so maybe you’re still keeping your options open because of how the first time around they let you go. “Is he/she still mad at me for that?” Aww, they’re insecure within the relationship but very sweet. Even years and decades into the marriage, they’ll still feel just as giddy and happy around you. They’re going to admire, adore and deeply love you. They’re going to care about your feelings and will be very keen on making the relationship succeed. They’re going to remember your younger days and will want to tear up at how much you’ve both grown. The excitement that they’ll feel towards you, the way they’re just filled with utter and childlike joy with you, will never disappear. Something interesting that is coming through here is that the universe or god didn’t intend for you to be together as life partners. It was originally supposed to be something that brings you both comfort, something that you learn from and are able to grow into your best selves, discover your individual purposes in life and beat emotional dissatisfaction by yourselves after meeting each other but you will make the impossible possible by desiring each other and loving each other so purely. Oh yeah, you were asking for an emotionally intense and rich partner, you will get exactly that. Congratulations. Thank you for reading. Much love and take care.

[acmeangel]

I think about this dialogue from S1 all the time; to me, it succinctly sums up the differences between Erwin and Levi’s perspectives and motivations.

When it comes to Erwin, it’s much like what Armin said in S1: the people who are capable of making change have to be able to throw everything away and abandon their personal humanity in order to save the greater humanity. Erwin embodies this perfectly—he never hesitated to sacrifice the lives of others on behalf of a greater cause, and even knew how to inspire them into willingly self-sacrificing.

What was that greater cause? For Erwin, it was his dream of finding out the truth and avenging his father—it just so happened that this aligned with what was best for Paradis. If it weren’t for his own personal ambitions, I don’t believe Erwin would have had the same level of commitment or drive.

Erwin knew that all of the deaths of his soldiers and the civilians caught in the crossfire were potentially pointless (and we eventually see that catch up to him right before his death); but at the same time, he knew each death and sacrifice was a necessary step in uncovering the truth.

That’s not to say he saw no value in human life or that he was an evil person—it’s just that he saw more value in the bigger picture and the greater cause, and he didn’t have time to consider his personal humanity in that pursuit. Erwin knew that he needed people like Levi and Hange to stay alive in order to achieve this bigger picture goal since they filled in the gaps of skills he lacked himself.

This also isn’t to say Erwin is purely selfish, nor is he the only one with personal motivations—Eren was motivated by his mother’s death, Mikasa was motivated by protecting Eren, Hange was motivated by learning about Titans. The list goes on.

Levi is uniquely one of the few characters without selfish motivations and dreams (which is ironic since people view him as cold and heartless). Levi had no ulterior motives pushing him to the other side of the war, and nothing personal to gain.

He chose to follow Erwin because of that look Erwin had in his eye—the same look Armin had in his eye—hope for the future, like he could see something no one else could. Levi, simply, didn’t want to make choices he would regret, even though he openly admitted that he never truly knew or understood what the outcome of those choices would be. He believed that following Erwin’s command—and eventually choosing Armin—was the best way to do this.

Levi doesn’t view the lives of his comrades or squad members as disposable. He has a fiercely protective and loyal nature. We see this time and time again—when he adamantly tells a dying soldier that his death wasn’t in vain and that he’d made a difference, how he doesn’t ever truly forgive Annie and Reiner for the lives they took from the Scouts, and his incessant need to avenge Erwin’s death, to name a few.

To me, Erwin and Levi are somewhat of a yin and yang in this way—Erwin was willing to do everything it took to achieve his dream, no matter the sacrifice, and Levi was willing to do everything it took to make sure those sacrifices weren’t made for nothing.

Erwin had to be willing to send people to their pointless deaths; Levi had to make sure those deaths weren’t pointless in the end.

This is a little bit of a half-baked ramble, but I always found this exchange so interesting and telling.

[emiqip]

apocalyptic ponyo au!! ft. shockweaves little menaces. @keferon

One week had passed since Skids saw the ocean swallow their city whole. 

It happened during one of those lazy days in the Dead End: with the cold season drawing near, few people roamed the dirty narrow alleys, more preoccupied scavenging for a place to settle down and spend the winter. He and his sort-of-not-really-adopted bunch of siblings had the luck to find an old gazebo made of sheets of rusted metal, basically a five star abode especially when your main concerns where a) not getting pissed on by the sky and b) find an actual place able to hold ten scruffy kids.

And even with nothing, life was good- or as good as it can get. Not having to fend and fight on the streets for yourself, having someone to bicker and argue with for the stupidest little things but still knowing everyone will have your back until the very end. The nights spent huddled together for warmth while Thundercracker, being the only one who knew how to read, dramatically re-enacting the scenes from a fairy-tale book and when storms so loud the walls of their shelter shook hit the city, you could pick out the soft humming of Damus, lulling the younger kids back to sleep. 

Yeah, life wasn't anywhere near perfect but it was enough.

But now...

The partially sunken landscape could suck all hope from one's soul. The once lively and bustling city was now a wet husk of rubble and toppled buildings. Abandoned vehicles and all sorts of trash floated on the surface, littering the water for miles. He was honestly impressed at how fast it all went down- them barely making it out only thanks to their shitty shelter, that served as a make-shift raft until they eventually reached a patch of dry concrete.

They've been walking for a few hours now, trudging between shallow water and debris, never daring to test their luck and trying to swim- they all got a taste of what lurked in the deepest parts during their little trip on their rackety raft and came to a general consensus to give those areas a very wide berth and not risk their lives more than they were already.

With a last distrustful look aimed at the water, he re-adjusted the heavy weight of the shotgun strapped on his right shoulder and walked away from shore, joining the others at their new alcove. 

 \\\

Finding a place to truly call their main base of operation was surprisingly easy- the mess of destroyed and eroded buildings that titanic wave left behind made for a pretty cushy place if you ignored the smell of seaweed and moist drywall. 

They were separated from the main patch of dry land and the chance of encountering any survivors was nearly slim to none- not that he was complaining or anything, less the possibility of meeting any hostile adults and being stripped of what little resources they had. From the wrecked remains of the city they managed to find quite a few useful things, but sadly not enough for ten kids. The food was especially low, the only way was fishing and catching it themselves but they had already established it as a big fat No. 

As the evening was slowly closing in, everyone was working to start their nightly routine. The oldest kids were in charge of the fire, which usually entailed watching TC read the partially wet copy of "Little Survivalist" to a very much not interested Trailbreaker and Windcharger. At the mouth of their shelter Soundwave was meticulously arranging their sleeping mats, while Skywarp sorted their blankets. Skids was chosen to stand guard today and soon after Damus would join him to keep watch on the others while they slept. 

Main while Bluestreak and the twins where- uhm. Where were they actually?

"Yo, 'Warp! Have you seen the little goblins?" Skids approached the teen, still intent in choosing the softest blanket for himself- aft. 

"Ah-what? Uhh, i think they wanted to explore the area but it wasn't my turn babysitting them so..." The other shrugged, returning to his task. 

"I swear if they come back with another mutated crab I'm going to lose it." 

"Naaw, everyone loved Bob, why do you have to be such a grump?"

"Well, if 'Bob' had the courtesy to try and not pinch me while I was slee-" 

A shrill scream broke their conversation. 

In a second all of them were at their feet or reaching for their nearest weapon as they watched the small shapes of the twins quickly getting closer. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were sprinting towards them at full speed, and when they arrived they almost toppled Skids over, while still screaming and shouting frenetically. 

Witnessing this, Damus came swiftly forward to try and assess the situation. 

"C'mon guys, deep breaths- what's going on?" The oldest tried to sooth. 

"BLUE IS DEAD! THAT THING GOT HIM AND IT'S MY FAULT" Sideswipe screeched snatching both of Damus sleeves like a lifeline. 

"Whoa- hey 'Sides-" 

"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD! But me and Sunny wanted to take a closer look- But turns out it was napping! And we tried to run but Blue fell and he hurt himself and that thing sNATCH HIM UP!! HE'S DEAD AND- AND IT'S MY FAULT!!"

After that the thirteen year old broke into a storm of unconsolable blubbering sobs- they all looked at each other in the eyes: 'Sides and Sunny were known for two things, being unsufferable little shits and that they never cried. Even when sad or scared they were used to put on their brave faces and endure like how they were taught. 

So a crying or upset twin meant trouble. 

Damus, understanding this quickly shifted his behavior and started barking orders to the others: he, Trailbreaker and Skids would go and find Blue the rest were to remain at the shelter and prepare in case they needed to flee as fast as possible. 

With that they braced their weapons and ran into the direction the twins came. 

\\\

He felt his heart beating in his throat as they ran towards whatever had attacked the youngest children. He couldn't help but picture small innocent Blue, laying on the shore motionless, a pool of blood beneath him- NO! Blue was okay! He had to be! And they were going to make sure of that. No one was keeping him from getting his littlest brother to safety. 

When they reached the shore, the smell of blood didn't greet them like they were all secretly dreading- but something else did. 

Something much, much worse. 

Bluestreak had always been a talkative little bugger- one of his siblings would sometimes even catch him talking to himself or inanimate objects when none of them were around. He always held conversations all by himself, jumping from topic to topic without catching a breath. 

However Blue wasn't really the type of kid to talk to strangers without getting shy and ducking behind one of the others for safety. 

Apparently, following little Blue logic- GIANT FISHMEN don't count as strangers.

"...and so I thought it would be cool, you know? but then 'Sides told me that I would get worms but I don't mind worms! They can be cute if you aren't a little baby who gets scared of everything and TC reads to me a lot so I know I won't get worms but I'm still very careful you never know..." The young boy happily ranted away as he sat snugly under the fish- man? argh! The mermaids giant flippers. 

The huge being wasn't bother at all by the little morsel chatting away at him- on the contrary, it looked fond of Blue as he let the kid talk. Skids almost pulled the trigger as he looked as the fishman slightly moved his massive head to nuzzle Blue in a show of complete affection. (if Skids strained his ears he could almost hear the soft vibrations the giant fish was producing) 

Only then, as he was giggling like mad, did Bluestreak notice them as he lifted his left hand and waved frantically at them. 

"HI GUYS!! LOOK WHO I FOUND!! SAY HI TO SIR. PANCAKE!!" 

He felt Trailbraker sagging beside him as his weapon almost slipped from his grip. 

"...what the actual fuck."

///

pt.2 :P

[thehoneybeestings]

──˚₊•Under A Full Moon•‧₊˚──

Word Count: 3.8K

Synopsis: Sevika sees you once at Babette's before deciding you're her favorite girl; and luckily for you, she's your favorite client. Thus blossoms an unspoken exclusivity between the two of you... or so you think, until one night, you happen upon her in between your coworker's legs. You're left blindsighted, hurt, and just plain jealous; and worst of all... you know it's unfairly so.

Continuation of Service Top! Sevika x Brothel Worker! Reader drabble

Content/Warnings: nsfw, service top! sev, brother worker! reader, bottom! reader, fem reader, reader has female anatomy, romantic smut, oral (r receiving), fingering (r receiving), strap (r receiving), useless pining lesbians, angst w/ a happy ending, L-word drop (love not lesbian you silly!) sev def has an abandonment wound poor bby

A/N: SERVICE TOP! SEV x BROTHEL READER UNIVERSE EXPANDS! thank you so much to this anon for the incredible idea; this is the longest piece I've written, so i apologize that it's taken so long; but here we are, many a late night later! i hope i did the concept justice; this piece was honestly a bit challenging because of it's length and because i had so much fun fleshing out the idea and had to reign myself in a few times, but i really enjoyed the process and hope you all will enjoy the product!

Love, Bee ୨ৎ

Today had been awful.

Unequivocally, comically awful. So much so, that Sevika finds herself standing outside of Babette’s, looking up at the silver moon, and wondering if its fullness has anything to do with just how bad her day had been; and she’s never really cared what the sun, the moon, and the stars had to say about her luck. 

It had been one of those days where everything that could go wrong, did go wrong- her mech arm had been short-circuiting all day, Silco was in a particularly pissy mood after a failed deal, and her team had fumbled a mission because some show-off new hire couldn't be patient- so she could only assume that today’s fury-inducing events were celestially predisposed. 

Actually, scratch that; she couldn't give two fucks about why her day been so shitty. All she knew is that it had, and she was exhausted, and she only wanted one thing right now:

You.

Of course, she wouldn't admit this, but the thought of your pretty eyes lighting up as she walked into your room, your sexy grin stretching across your face as you beckoned her over, your body underneath her as she coaxed you over the edge for the second, third, fourth time; these images had been the only thing holding her together today. 

Sevika knew better. Knew she had no business getting this attached to someone who was simply providing a service; and she'd scold herself for it later, but right now- as she opened the doors to Babette’s and made her way down the hall- she just wanted to see you. 

So, when she pushes the beaded curtain out of the way to see that you're not there, she hopes to the gods you're just on a break.

“Looking for Y/n?” 

Celeste, a coworker of yours, had found herself immensely displeased that you were hogging her favorite customer. Of course, she had failed to consider that clients choose their servicer and not the other way around, but she refused to believe that Sevika may not have been as interested in her as she was in Sevika. 

“Yeah,” Sevika gruffs, “I am.”

“Aw, that's too bad,” the raven-haired girl responds with a pout, “she just left for the day. Said she wasn't feeling well.”

Sevika would be unfathomably annoyed by this cherry on top of her already wonderful day if she weren't, first and foremost, worried.

“Not feeling well? How so?”

Celeste found herself becoming increasingly annoyed by Sevika’s show of concern for you. “She didn't say,” she begins impatiently, “but…” and then, she's trailing a finger down Sevika’s mech arm (Sevika didn't like anyone touching her mech arm but you) “I’d be more than happy to take care of you tonight.” 

Sevika had two options. She could go home and wallow in the frustration caused by the day’s events, or she could suck it up, settle for Celeste’s company, and at least end the night with some release. After all, it’s not like the two of you were exclusive, she thought; there was no reason why Celeste shouldn’t do, right? 

Right?

“After you,” Sevika huffed, trying her best to ignore how wrong it felt to follow anyone else to their room; and for the rest of the night, she’s trying her best to ignore how wrong the smell of Celeste’s perfume is, how wrong the taste of her skin is, how wrong her moans and mewls sounded bouncing against the walls…

And when you come out of the breakroom, you can feel your freshly blushed cheeks heat up in anger when you walk past Celeste’s room to see Sevika in between her legs. You only stand in front of the lace curtain for a second before you’re storming back to your room, and for the rest of the night, you’re trying to ignore how pissed you are. 

──˚₊•୨ৎ•‧₊˚──

“I feel so pathetic,” you whine, “I mean, why do I even care? It’s not like we’re together.”

It’d been a week since you saw Sevika with Celeste, and you were sitting in your favorite booth at The Last Drop, hoping that the giant margarita sitting in front of you and your best friend would aid in taking your mind off of it all.

They were no stranger to the situation unfolding between you and Sevika, and at this point, they were downright sick of watching you pretend your relationship with her hadn’t long exceeded client and servicer. 

“Do I seriously need to answer that question, Y/n?” They tease.

“You know, I’d actually prefer if you didn’t” you sigh, before taking a sip of the lime green drink in front of you.

“Right… because you already know the answer.”

They were right. You did already know the answer, but you weren’t ready to admit that the feelings you had for Sevika were very real, and only getting stronger. 

“Well, clearly, she doesn’t feel the same way about me,” you spit. An angry heat flushes your face as the image of Sevika and Celeste floods your memory.

Your best friend looks down at you with a soft, knowing smile. “You know, there’s no way of knowing how she feels unless you ask.”

You lean back with a huff, letting your head hit the back of the wooden booth with a soft thud.

“I can’t do that; and either way, that would be completely unprofessional… or, at the very least, completely humiliating.”

“Oh my God, Y/n, you’re impossible. All this yearning…”

They slide the glass over and away from your reach, taking a giant sip of their own.

You can’t help but let out a laugh, unable to deny the claim, but grateful nonetheless for the humorous distraction from the situation(ship) at hand. 

That is, until the situation walks through The Last Drop’s double doors; and just like it had when you walked past Celeste’s room a week ago, your heart drops. 

“Perfect,” you seethe, watching Sevika make her way to the bar. “I’m gonna head out, okay? Drink’s on me.”

“Fine by me,” your friend quickly surrenders, coaxing one last chuckle from you as you stand, “but hey, seriously, it’ll all work out. I’m here for you too, yeah?” 

You give them a small smile. “Of course. See ya,” you call out before heading to the bar yourself, hoping to Janna that Sevika will stay where she was on the opposite end while you close out the tab; and as you’re sliding coins to the bartender and turning on your heel to leave, you think you’ve successfully managed to avoid her, until,

The hand on your back is large, warm, gentle. You hate that you immediately recognize who it belongs to. 

“Y/n?” 

You turn around, taking a deep, steadying breath.

“Sevika.”

Her eyes are scanning your face, then your body; she looks relieved to see you. You hate that, too. 

You just wanted to be pissed at her, avoid her at all costs, and ignore how you really felt about her for as long as possible. Why did she have to make that so hard?

“How are you-”

You interrupt her before she has the chance to make any of those things any harder. “I was just leaving. I’ll see you around, okay?” 

More than anything else, you hate how her face falls when you pull away, making a B-line for the exit. 

──˚₊•୨ৎ•‧₊˚──

For the past three weeks, you had taken to avoiding Sevika like the plague. You figured that after enough time, your feelings for her would inevitably fade, and you could go on about your life as usual. 

Spoiler alert: they would not. In fact, she was on your mind now more than ever; and frankly, it was pissing you off. 

You knew Sevika wasn’t yours. What you had with her was nothing more than business. You had no right to be angry with her for spending her time and her money on a night with someone else. 

That pissed you off even more. 

You sat at a vanity in the breakroom you had quickly dipped into when you caught sight of Sevika walking through the doors of Babette’s. 

“Gods, she comes in, like, every day now,” you complain to the worker seated to your right; the both of you powdering your faces. 

“You know, I’ve actually noticed she’s barely ever here anymore,” they begin. “She used to be here almost every night to see you.” 

They don’t know they’ve struck a nerve; which is why you feel a little bad when you suddenly slam your powder down, their eyes wide and confused as they watch you storm back to your room. 

You shove your way through the beaded curtain, eyes closed and jaw clenched as you try your best to collect yourself. You stand in front of the doorway, taking slow, deep breaths:

In, and out, in, and-

Why does it smell like cigarette smoke in here?

Just as quickly as you register the smell of Sevika’s cigarettes, your eyes fly open.

Here she was, in all her glory, sitting on the velvet couch in front of you. 

You had almost forgotten how pretty she was underneath the warm, soft light of the ornate lamps littering your room. You wanted so badly to crawl onto your place in her lap, to run your fingers through her raven hair, to trace the scars on her face- 

Gods, you hated what she did to you, and you hated that you just couldn’t get over it.

“The fuck are you doing?” You spit, heart already speeding up.

She chuckles through her nose, putting out her cigarette on an ashtray before standing to meet you. 

The amusement on her face drops, her jaw set, eyes boring into you; and for a split second, you’re almost scared. 

Almost; because, despite her intimidating reputation proceeding her, you were privy to a gentleness that no one else saw. 

“Here to ask you the same thing.” she spits. “Fuck have you been dodging me for?”

You knew Sevika. You knew her well; well enough to know that she was far too observant not to notice you avoiding her like the plague. 

“What are you talking-” “Do you think I’m stupid?”

Unfortunately, your plans to ice her out hadn’t accounted for the fact that Sevika simply was not going to let you get away with this.

“Answer me,” she continues, nostrils flaring. 

You nearly break under her gaze, but Sevika knows you well enough to know that you’re nearly as stubborn as she is. 

So when you bite back with a, 

“Why do you even care?”

All she can do is let out an exasperated sigh. 

“Can you be fucking serious? Why do I care? As if I wasn’t showing up here damn near every night to see you-”

“Exactly!” You snap, eyes blowing wide. “Exactly Sevika; why bother showing up nearly every night for six months, refusing to see any other girl, making me feel like I was… I was special, just for you to turn around and fuck Celeste because I wasn’t primed and goddamned ready for you as soon as you walked through the door?”

A pregnant pause fills the room, tension thick in the air. 

Your wild eyes scan the expression on her face. She looks… confused; her own icy greys darting from side to side like she’s trying to put the pieces of some puzzle together.

You’re trying to figure out what’s so confusing.

“Don’t act surprised,” you begin, rolling your eyes. “Was this not the plan? Convince me we had something so you’d get special treatment?”

“Sweetheart, slow down-”

“Don’t call me that! What is your prob-”

“Y/n!” 

The sound of your name on her lips had only ever been sweet; gentle. 

Loving.

Hearing her say it so scoldingly makes your throat tighten.

You feel like a kicked puppy; and you must look like one, too, because she’s quick to take a breath, dropping her shoulders and relaxing the furrow of her brow. 

“Just… hold on a second, okay?”

You take a deep breath of your own before giving her a small nod. She rubs her temples, seemingly still puzzled, before she finally asks,

“What do you mean you saw me with Celeste?”

And now, you’re just as confused. 

“Um… I mean I walked out of the breakroom to see your face buried between her thighs. What else could I mean?”

Her narrowed eyes zero in on you as the pieces finally come together; and as soon as they do, all she can do is laugh, because her only other option is to walk over to Celeste’s room and let her have it here and now. 

“That bitch.”

“Who, Celeste?” you inquire, “I mean, yeah; she is a bitch. What does that have to do with this?”

Sevika lets out an exasperated sigh, stepping closer to you.

“The only reason I was with Celeste that night is because she told me you were gone.”

Your stomach drops, jaw dropping with it. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you breathe out.

“Wish I was. She told me you weren’t feeling well. Could barely focus that night because I was worried sick about you; been worried sick about you since, and if you had just talked to me, you would’ve known that.”

You’re flooded with so many thoughts- so many feelings- that you feel dizzy. This had really all just been a giant misunderstanding? Celeste had really lied like that? 

Sevika had really been worried about you all this time?

You feel a pang of guilt in your stomach. As angry as you were at Celeste, and as much as you wanted to blame all of this on her own jealousy, you knew that only yours was to blame for the month that had gone by since you’d given Sevika the time of day.

“I.. I’m sorry, Sev.” you mutter, hands wringing in front of you. “Didn’t think you’d be worried.”

“How could you not-”

She stops herself, running a hand through her hair as she turns away from you. 

The whir of her arm is the only sound filling the silence in the room, and you can tell by the tension in her shoulders that her thoughts are likely whirring just as fast.

For the the first time in a month, you reach out to place a hand on her shoulder, thumb rubbing soothing circles into the tight muscle; just like you would when she’d come to see you after a hard day. 

That’s all she had wanted a month ago; your gentle hands beckoning her shoulders to relax, your sweet voice beckoning her to talk, your soothing presence beckoning her to rest.

How could you not know that you had unwittingly made yourself her center of gravity?

Your hand stays planted where it’s at, but you don’t speak. You can tell by the way her eyes are nearly burning a hole into the spot on the floor she’s chosen to focus on that she’s got something else to say, and just needs a moment to figure out how to say it. 

So you wait; the soothing movements of your thumb saying, “I’m sorry; I’m here,” and the way she leans into your touch saying, “It’s okay. I missed you.”

“I know I’m not… good at this stuff,” 

You smile softly, tucking a stray tendril of dark hair behind her ear.

“So I can’t blame you for not knowing how I feel, but I… you…”

She huffs, and you can tell she’s getting frustrated.

“It’s okay,” you whisper, “Take your time.”

She turns to slump down onto the arm of the wingbacked chair by your door. You slot yourself in between her legs, hands coming to rest on either side of her face; fingers mindlessly tracing shimmering lines of blue. 

“I don’t let anyone else touch those, you know?” 

 Your head tilts to the side, eyebrows knitting together in curiosity. 

“You don’t?” 

“No. I don’t. Only you.”

Another pause settles between the two of you, but for the first time since this conversation began, it’s comfortable. Peaceful. Familiar.

“Wasn’t my plan to fall for ya,” she finally admits, “and when I realized I had, I wasn’t really sure what to do with that… but I’m sorry that I ever made you feel like I was messing with your head and all.”

“It isn’t your fault, Sev,” you sigh. “Should have talked to you sooner. I was just… scared.”

“Of what?” She asks, looking up at you. “Of me?”

Damn her and those puppy dog eyes.

“No, not at all,” you quickly reassure. “Never of you. Was just scared to face the possibility that you don’t feel for me what I feel for you. Didn’t want to make a fool out of myself, you know?”

She lets out an incredulous chuckle; like there isn’t a world in which she doesn’t have feelings for you.

“Well… you’ve certainly made a fool of yourself now, doll.”

“Hey!” You scold, stepping back to cross your arms in front of your chest. 

“I’m just saying,” she says with a cocky smirk, “this could’ve all ended a month ago if you had just-”

“Okay, okay!” The wide smile on your face betrays the annoyance you’re trying to feign. Truth be told, you were too relieved by the appearance of her humorous side to pretend that you were mad. “I get it,” you continue, “I said I was sorry!”

“‘S alright, baby,” she shrugs, standing up to meet you; and when she steps forward to wrap her arms around your waist, pulling you flush against her, you can’t help but melt into the warmth you’d missed so much.

“Jus’ means we’ve got lost time to make up for.”

──˚₊•୨ৎ•‧₊˚──

You’re two orgasms in when Babette comes knocking on your room’s doorframe.

Your head whips around to give her a wide-eyed stare from your place on Sevika’s lap- and on two of her fingers- chest heaving and lips swollen from the kiss you’d just pulled away from.

“The fuck? We’re busy here,” Sevika grumbles, hand waving to gesture towards the rather intimate position the two of you were in.

“Sorry ladies,” Babette sighs, “You know we close early on Sundays. Glad to see that you two are back at it, though;” and with that, she makes her way back to her office.

Still in shock, you turn back to Sevika; who seems entirely unphased by the interruption. 

“My place?” She shrugs; and you can’t help but burst out into laughter, leaning in for a kiss that’s all smiles. 

“Not gonna take me out to dinner first?” You tease, cocking a brow at her. 

Whatever cockiness you were attempting to exude quickly fails when her fingers curl up into you just right, and you gasp, hips twitching on her lap.

She wraps her mech arm around your waist, sitting up to place a kiss on your temple before bringing her mouth to the shell of your ear.

“I’d say we’re past pleasantries, don't you think?” she croons. 

A shiver runs down your spine, head tilting back as she lowers her head to plant open-mouthed kisses on your neck; and when her teeth bite down on your collarbone, all you can muster is,

“Your place.” 

──˚₊•୨ৎ•‧₊˚──

The words slip out of your mouth before you can help it.

She’s got you laid out underneath her on soft sheets of maroon, legs thrown over her shoulders, hips snapping into you ruthlessly.

For what felt like hours, her mouth had been on you, languid and slow; and when her mouth wasn’t on you, she was leaving a mark somewhere on your skin as her fingers worked you open.

From the outside in, it may have seemed like she was teasing, and for a second, you thought that’s what she was doing. You couldn’t really blame her if she were; a little repayment for the silent treatment you’d given her. 

But you knew Sevika well; could read her movements and expressions like a book. She wasn’t teasing. 

She was drinking you in; your form under her hands, the taste of salt on your skin, your whimpers and whines floating through the air. She was committing this moment to memory like it might be the last time she has you, and you realize, she’s scared you might leave again.

It isn’t until you place a hand on her cheek, coaxing her to look you in the eyes and telling her that you’re not going anywhere, that she’s finally pulled out of her trance, lining herself up between your legs with a crooked smile on her face. 

Now, her pace is quick, rough; but her gaze is so soft, eyes blown out with adoration.

Your own begin to flutter closed, rolling back into your head when she shifts just enough for her strap to plant kiss after kiss on the sweet spot of your velvet walls.

“Janna,” you pant, tears pricking your eyes, “Right there, Sev; please don’t stop.”

Who were you kidding? She wouldn’t dare.

Her thumb moves to wipe away the stray tear trailing towards your temple. “Look at me, sweetheart.”

When you open your eyes to look up at her, she’s looking back down at you like she’s in love with you.

“So pretty,” she mutters, her flesh hand warm on your cheek as her thumb traces your cheek, your jaw, your lips. “So, so pretty, baby; missed you so fucking much.”

You’re overwhelmed. By the way she talks so sweet to you, by the way she fucks so deep into you, by the third orgasm that threatens to break like a wave;

And when it does, the words slip out of your mouth before you can help it.

“Shit, ‘m cumming… just like that, Sev; fuck, I love you so much.”

Your eyes go wide like a deer in headlights when you register your own words; and when her hips stutter, you’re already preparing yourself to be met with a look that says, ‘are you crazy?’ … until, she lets out a groan of her own, not even bothering to pull out before she’s gone limp on top of you.

You’re still mortified, frozen underneath her, staring up at the ceiling. She must feel the racing of your heart, the shallowness of your breath, because she cranes her head up from its place nestled into you shoudler to speak into your ear.

“Calm down, baby. I love you, too.”

──˚₊•୨ৎ•‧₊˚──

The moon is full again tonight; a stream of its cool light spilling in through the crack in Sevika’s curtains. You’ve already succumbed to the heavy lull of sleep; of course, not before Sevika insists that you pee, have a snack, drink some water, and promise that you’ll be hers from now on.

She gets up to disarm the heavy metal attached to her shoulder- something she only does when she’s certain that she’s safe- and climbs back into bed, careful not to disturb you. You rustle anyway, rolling over to bury your head in her chest.

Sevika has never really cared what the sun, the moon, and the stars had to say about her luck. 

She cares even less now with the entire universe sound asleep against her. 

End ୨ৎ

[sugar-grigri]

How about an analysis of Dunmeshi's latest episode?

What I find really interesting, and episode 17 made me realize it, is the extent to which Laios and Shuro are the opposite of what they portray, even worse: the image they might portray is actually that of the other.

Let me explain :

How does Shuro see Laios ? As someone stubborn and thoughtless, disconnected from reality to the point of using black magic to resurrect his little sister.

We know that Shuro would have made the same choice, which shows that even if he tries to deny it, there is a point of connection between them.

The key to these similarities and differences is Falin.

What Shuro loves about Falin is the tenderness in her every gesture, her compassion and understanding of every creature, and her smile.

When he sees this monster kill in cold blood, he realizes the extent to which he has lost his loved one, which is why he chooses to kill her to free his soul, thinking he has lost her.

But what Shuro doesn't realize is that he's exactly what he's blaming Laios for: he's stubborn and reckless, not realizing the danger and sacrifices his teammates are making for the sake of this mission.

He's also disconnected from reality, not caring about himself, his hunger or his fatigue.

Above all, and this is very interesting, Laios had said that he hadn't perceived that Shuro couldn't stand him because he was so happy to have him as a friend, that he hadn't detected any of these signals.

Shuro shares this blindness

Shuro repeats that this monster is not Falin, yet he sees her as such, to the point of embarrassment when the monster removes her blouse.

And that's the opposite of Laios, who sees his sister as the monster she is

Like the chimera Falin has become, he sees his little sister calling him and this super-cool monster.

He's the one with his feet firmly on the ground, he's the one who really cares about his team, taking care of himself and those around him through balanced meals.

The one who understands that Falin has many vital points, rather than allowing himself to be overwhelmed by despair, is Laios.

So when Shuro hits Laios, in reality he's not hitting a man who differs from him, he's hitting his own flaws, and his own failure in the situation.

This failure he projects onto Laios, a man brimming with flaws.

Not only does Laios reason with him, but if Shuro ends up taking the wiser path, it's also because he's literally fought against himself.

But it all goes even further!

Shuro realized his feelings, or rather how unique Falin was in her tenderness and altruism, towards every being, even the smallest.

But what set this whole cycle in motion was Falin's self-sacrifice, her own death.

Laios and Marcille are responsible for what follows, but they are not responsible for everything, as Shuro tries to believe.

Shuro refuses the truth

So he doesn't see Falin

He couldn't accept that her tenderness had led to his death

Nor that her tenderness gave way to extreme coldness and indifference

He won't accept his own blindness

So he hits Laios and his extreme sincerity that irritates him so much

Shuro can't see anything in the darkness of this dungeon, he's the one who's lost his footing so he has to get back up again

Laios has accepted to see everything, even the unavowable, the forbidden, the pain.

What Shuro sees in Falin is love

In Laios, what he sees is the truth

In reality, Laios has only told part of the truth; he is the other half.

But if he goes back up, it's not to abandon Falin, Shuro has to face reality, the truth, that Laios was the only one who could save his beloved. It was by fighting that he finally put his trust in Laios. And finally became a friend

[inbarfink]

I think a lot about the Concept of ‘choices that matter’ in video games. Like, in terms of what it is that makes a choice ‘really matter’, what do we perceive as a choice that matters or has a consequence, how do different games with different amounts of branching or non-branching storylines play with those ideas…  Especially because Undertale is one of my favorite games of all time, and it has often been hyped as ‘a game where your choices REALLY matter’ and… honestly, I dunno if all of this hype was fully conducive to Undertale.  Because the way it handles the concept of Video Game Choices is actually a lot more interesting and complex than that simplistic descriptor makes it seem.

Because Undertale actually has a lot of choices that ‘don’t really matter’! Lots of dialogue choices and silly little decisions that on a first playthrough seem like they’re some sort of moral choice or a branching plotline but end up always leading to basically the same result regardless of what you do!

And the game doesn’t really try to hide the fact that these choices are kinda 'Fake'. I mean, on a first playthrough a player might assume there’s gonna be some Massive Consequences for picking the ‘wrong’ drink on Undyne’s date, but the game’s narrative expects for there to be multiple playthroughs and pretty much every Choice that Doesn’t Matter is peppered with that Undertale brand of wacky character-focused humor that inherently makes the moment memorable. Papyrus leading Undyne straight to you no matter what you do is basically a cross-timeline running gag.

On some level I see this as a sort of gag that serves as meta-commentary about the expectations around Choices That Matter in Video Games. As in, a lot of games have their Moral Choices happen in clearly easily marked ‘this is a Moral Choice!’ moments within the story, while the actual gameplay (and any violence the player might cause as part of said gameplay) is basically entirely divorced from any element of narrative-branching and doesn't effect the story at all. Undertale basically entirely inverts this dynamic; the most important factor for which Route you’re own is how you handle your FIGHTs, and what seems like clearly-marked and obvious Moral Choices are just goofy insubstantial minor changes in dialogue. 

But also… there is also a level where you must ask yourself ‘what does it mean when we say that these choices Don’t Matter’. I mean, it’s not like they didn't change anything about the game, the Player still made the character say that other thing, the choice probably led to an alternate piece of dialogue, probably a joke with a call-back at the end of the game… The line between a one-off joke and an actual story-changing moment can be a little blurry if you look at it too deeply.

For example, near the end of the Waterfall part of the game, the Player is given the choice to save Monster Kid even at the risk of having to face down Undyne.

Pretty much anyone who isn’t deliberately trying to be an asshole is going to rush to save them and obviously that includes the Pacifist Route Players. But you can actually leave Monster Kid to die without it 'mattering' in the sense that it wouldn't divert you from the Pacifist Route. Undyne saves them instead of you, and ends up with slightly less HP for her battle (which might Matter for Runs when you try and FIGHT her but obviously not in Pacifist Runs) and… by the end of the game, during the extremely happy True Pacifist Ending, they still clearly remember that you abandoned them and are upset by it.

So… does saving Monster Kid ‘matter’ or not? On one hand, choosing not to save them mostly just changes a few lines of dialogue but… these lines of dialogue kinda recontextualize this happy ending and the Player’s actions in general. Despite the True Pacifist Ending otherwise portraying the Player/Frisk as a kind-hearted and brave hero... they still did this undeniably cowardly (and perhaps even cruel) act to one of their friends .

Was running away and leaving Monster Kid to die a brief but significant moment of weakness that the Player regrets and has cost them what could’ve been the start of a lovely friendship? Or is that simply that being a True Pacifist was always more of a matter of pragmatism rather than ideals? Were they only acting as a Pacifist to get that promised 'Best Ending', and only Monster Kid has an inkling they are not as heroic or kind as everyone thinks they are?

And then there’s the Snowman ‘quest’.

A free healing item given early in the game, with your mission being to carry it along in your inventory for as long as you can without ever consuming it. The only reward you will ever see from it is a few lines of dialogue…

But for many, it is more than enough of an incentive to preserve the Snowman’s Piece. You can do whatever you want with the Snowman without it ‘mattering’ in terms of Ending or consequences. You could carry it through all of your adventures with care and kindness... or you could eat it while he can’t see you and then go back to him and tell him that you ‘lost’ it and then get another piece and eat that as well, you could eat it right in front of his face, horrifying him. 

And much like with Monster Kid, you can STILL get the True Pacifist Ending after doing that, all that would change is a few optional pieces of dialogue from the Snowman… 

And a total recontextualization of the Player’s behavior and the ending. The Snowman sees the Player as a cruel and heartless person who is just pretending to be good so they can be liked - the way they acted with this immobile, powerless Snowman who could do nothing for them and their reputation reveals their true self. And he says their friends will realize that too one day...

Doing a True Reset on the Pacifist Ending is, by definition, a (almost) consequence-free action and yet it changes future Pacifist Routes immeasurably. Turning the Player into a Hypocrite doing the exact same thing they were trying to stop Flowey/Asriel from doing - trapping all of their friends into a time-loop so they can play with them forever while never actually letting them to enjoy freedom on the surface, simply because they are not willing to move on or put their friends' wishes and agency above their own. Nothing in the game actually changes, not one character can even suspect that you did something like that, and yet for the Player - this choice makes the entire Meaning of the game flip on its head. 

Even the most famous and heavily-toted Big Consequence in the whole game - selling your soul to Chara after completing a Murder Route… mostly what it does is just… recontextualize the ending of the Game.

As a game, ‘Undertale’ is very much about the ways in which a Player engages with a game can radically recontextualize it. The huge chasm of difference between the Pacifist and Muder Routes is just the most literal example of it. But, in a way, even the tiny little Dialogue Options - where the lack of real choice and consequences is Obviously a Joke - matter. Because of the way they can recontextualize the Player Character’s behavior.

(Okay, maybe not this one, but hear me out…)

Do you trust Papyrus to not betray you, even after you spied on him with Undyne?

Do you have the integrity to admit you forgot something or got it wrong even when there’s no consequences for just lying about it?

Are you a hypocrite for trying to get Alphys to be truthful with Undyne only to then immediately turn around and lie to Undyne yourself?  

None of these choices matter for the ending, some of them don’t even get, like, a call-back joke or anything, but… if you are engaged in this story as a narrative, if you are invested in these characters as if they were people, if you are honestly trying to be the best person you can be, if you are trying to self-reflect at the way you approach this game… even the silliest little dialogue option can suddenly be imbued with deep implications and you can make them matter. 

Undertale is one of the best demonstrations of this concept, but this is absolutely not exclusive to it. For example….

‘Ace Attorney’ is pretty much as far away as you can get from a ‘branching narrative’ within the video game sphere. It is a heavily-linear Visual Novel where 70% of the time it won’t even let you talk to random characters at anything but the exact order it expects you to and any ‘Bad Endings’ are basically just glorified Game Over Screens. (... because this is the Internet and something something piss on the poor, I should probably specify that I am talking about ‘Ace Attorney’ because I love Ace Attorney and these are neutral descriptions of the game and not complaints. There’s nothing wrong with a game being linear.) 

If there’s any Dialogue Choice in AA, it’s generally a very basic ‘right answer-wrong answer’ choice between Progress and a Penalty, or a total non-choice that just gets you to the same final result regardless. Except… Well… as we just talked about, getting to the same final result doesn’t necessarily mean a choice is ‘meaningless’, does it?

There’s actually a lot of great storytelling moments where Ace Attorney, despite its otherwise strict linearity, uses this exact sort of recontextualizing mindset I’ve talked about with Undertale to make choices with some really powerful emotional impact…. Even if technically, the ending is the same ending. It can be something as basic as ‘even if picking this Wrong Answer doesn’t get me a penalty, it still embarrassed my character and disappointed my friends/rivals and thus I feel bad for picking it’. Consequences as recontextualizing your character as more incompetent than they should’ve come across at that moment.

And then there’s moments like the iconic ending of ‘Justice for All’. That moment before Franziska bursts into the Courtroom with the case-making evidence and saves the day. The moment where it seems like Phoenix really is gonna have to pick between protecting his best friend and carrying out a rightful sentence.

The player gets to pick between the two options, but Phoenix never gets to say his choice out loud before Franziska comes running in... and yet… he, and the player, still made that choice. Even if no one ever has to experience the consequences of your choice, even if the rest of the world has no idea what Phoenix Wright would’ve chosen if the Miracle hadn’t happened, we know what we picked and that knowledge of the choice matters. Because of how we feel about this choice and what it says about our interpretation of Phoenix… and about us.

There’s also a bit of this ludonarrative device in ‘The Great Ace Attorney: Adventures’. During “The Adventures of the Runaway Room”, when you investigate the Omnibus for the second time and start finding things that… don’t quite fit together. When you’re finally starting to make progress with proving McGilded’s innocence, while also maybe starting to notice that something is… wrong with these pieces of evidence. 

The unchanging linear narrative of the game is that Ryunosuke does eventually realizes McGilded's trickery, puts truth ahead of victory in court and yet, despite his effort and good intentions - the case still ends with a false Not Guilty verdict. And yet, the Player has the choice to... tweak the details.

There are several points where Ryunosuke can object, where he can call out the inconsistencies even though they help his case, where he can support Van Zieks in his accusations of tempered evidence... or he can not. Not necessarily intentionally misleading the Court as much as subconsciously trying to ignore the inconsistencies in the name of trusting his client.

And yet… in the end it doesn’t matter. Maybe Susato calls out the inconsistency instead of him, maybe Van Zieks does, maybe it remains uncontested but... no matter what you do, the case will end with a Not Guilty verdict (I mean, I guess you can deliberately fail the game but that will not progress the plot), McGilded doesn’t seem like he held a grudge (in the few minutes he had left to live), and a few cases later - Ryunosuke would always be punished for his part at this false verdict.

So it doesn’t really matter what Ryunosuke did back then? Does it matter if he did his best and called out every single inconsistencies or if he kinda half-assed it until he (and the Player) had to? He’s still going to suffer the same consequences down the line. And yet….

And yet, I think there’s something so powerful about giving us that option. About knowing that Ryunosuke, and we, did try and do something about McGilded's dirty tricks- even if it didn’t work. Or alternative, knowing that there was more that Ryunosuke and us could’ve done even if it was not nearly enough. Even if in the eyes of the game and the British Justice system there is no difference, the fact that we know what did and what we could’ve done can radically change the way the player feels about all of the later scenes concerning the truth about McGilded’s trial. It can radically change the way the player interpret Ryunosuke’s feelings about it as well.

Because even though the game itself keeps playing along with the same script regardless, that trial had irrevocable consequences for the Player.

[j-sunct]

lose my breath @ HYUNJIN & CHAN

𓂃 if hyunjin hadn't chosen such a boring movie, y/n wouldn't have fingers in her pussy, much less bangchan's dick in her mouth.

❀ chanjinㅤㅤㅤ ' ㅤㅤㅤfem!reader

smutㅤ  ㅤ╱ㅤ    👤ㅤ   minors do not interact

⋆ war'ningsㅤㅤ───ㅤㅤthreesome, chan and hyunjin have a stable relationship with reader, fingering, blowjob, dirty talk, teasing, exhibitionism.

s/n, bangchan and hyunjin had a kind of itinerary for saturdays. they would ALWAYS go see movies together, both to strengthen their relationship since, with the hustle and bustle of the weekdays, they actually ended up forgetting about each other.

today was another one of those movie sessions; popcorn made, and hyunjin was choosing the movie, since this week was his turn.

“i think i found it!" hyun shouted from the living room, ready to press play. s/n returned to the kitchen with a bucket of popcorn, while chan tried to balance three glasses of soda

“wich movie is that?" s/n asked as she sat in the middle of the couch, with the popcorn bowl between her legs.

“honestly, i don't know. i just saw the cover and found it a little interesting.” hwang confessed, leaning over to grab a portion of the popcorn.

meanwhile, bangchan seemed very focused on the movie, "i really hope this movie is good, hyunjin. don't waste our precious time.” he stated, chuckling lightly. not that the movie being bad was a problem, they had the whole weekend to enjoy it.

jinnie joined in the laughter, as well as y/n. “i promise, hyung, that i won't waste our saturday. this movie has potential, trust me." he gave a thumbs up, an attempt to sound confident.

“so, let's get started!” s/n said and finally, played the movie.

—

unfortunately, bangchan was right about his opinion of the movie — that's what hyunjin thought, sighing lightly. he didn't want to show that he was completely bored with it.

the romance was poorly developed, scenes so cliché that they made him roll his eyes. at first, he didn't imagine it was a romance film, but it was. this is like a moral lesson "kids, always read the synopsis before choosing something!”

it really did seem boring until hyunjin noticed how the popcorn bucket was positioned on y/n’s legs. it was like a light bulb went off over his head. why not a fuck?

first of all, he checked her and bangchan's attention... both completely focused on the movie. perfect.

playing innocent, he reached out to "grab some popcorn from the bowl", but no. his hand rested under y/n's crotch, without even any provocation or anything like that.

her eyes widened before slowly drifting towards where hyun's hand was positioned. shit. could he be a little less of a pervert? even over her shorts, his fingertips caused a slight friction that made her sigh. the need to get wet was tempting.

hyunjin's thin fingers wandered over y/n's clothes, now definitely applying a little pressure. it was inevitable for her not to feel her pussy contract a little and the liquid flow out consequently.

bangchan was right there, he could see her at any moment, calling her a "whore" for letting herself be touched so easily... but what could she do? she really wanted to be hyunjin's whore, let him use her for free, wherever he wanted, whenever he wanted.

it was so good, the feeling of the juices starting to run from y/n's little hole, hyunjin's fingers stimulating her clitoris that, even over so many layers of clothing, was capable of making her lose focus of the film.

little by little, hyunjin brought his mouth closer to y/n's ear, just to whisper. “it's good, isn't it? the feeling of knowing you could get caught at any moment.” he laughed, softly. without drawing bangchan's attention. “like, chan can look over at any moment, see you practically begging for dick and just, fuck you. use you.” he continued laughing until he stopped moving his hand and walked away completely.

y/n mumbled in denial, the feeling was too good to be abandoned. why did hyunjin stop?

“chris, i think it's time to get this perversion out of our girl.”

bangchan turned around, a smile already plastered on his face. "from the moment she accepted your touches, hyun.”

y/n was in complete shock, maybe even feeling vulnerable, but still completely wet to receive chan and jinnie. “she doesn't even deny it, does you, love?" the older man placed his hand on her chin, forcing her to look at him.

hyunjin approached from behind, placing his hands on her hips. he saw y/n shake her head. so defenseless. taking advantage of the fact that all her attention was on bangchan now, he approached the waistband of her shorts, slowly lowering them. then he removed her panties, which for a moment remained stuck to the cavity, due to her juices. “naughty girl..." he laughed, almost mockingly.

y/n at the same time that she felt exposed, she felt completely excited, wanting to be touched. she grabbed bangchan's shoulders, when she finally felt hyunjin enter two fingers inside.

“ngl... wait…” y/n muttered, digging her nails into chris' shoulder. “i'm tight…” she whispered, more like a moan, as her pussy sent vibrations into hyunjin's hand.

bangchan took advantage of the moment to unbutton his pants, caressing his own volume over his white underwear. some whispers came out of chris' mouth, his dick looked so big. he was excited, it was a fact. a pool of pre-cum covered his underwear, right at the mark of the head of his cock.

y/n can't help but bite her lips, bangchan practically jerking off right in front of her, while hyunjin fingers her. she finally took action, pulling down his underwear until chan's private parts were visible.

“what a little bitch... can't wait to suck my dick, huh?” bangchan held y/n's face, pressing her cheeks into a sort of pout.

“you should know by now, chris. make her suck your fucking dick and make those ridiculous noises.” hyunjin was eagerly searching for her sweet spot, he wanted to make the girl have all the pleasure in the world and he knew that all that dirty talk only excited her even more. her pulsating hole only confirmed that, tightening more and more around the korean's fingers.

hyunjin went in circular movements, working more where y/n was excited, where she moaned and begged for more of him, until he came out with his fingers completely smeared with her juice.

hyun's fingers were coated in y/n's slick arousal as he worked her tight hole, his movements growing more urgent with each passing second. her moans grew louder, that little body trembling in need.

chan took advantage of the moment, guiding her face towards his throbbing cock. "open wide, baby," he growled, his voice thick with desire. "i'm going to feed you my dick."

y/n eagerly parted her lips, her tongue darting out to lick the tip of christopher's cock. she moaned at the taste of his pre-cum, her eyes fluttering closed in bliss.

bangchan pushed forward, sliding his cock into y/n's warm, wet mouth. she took him deep, her throat contracting around his shaft. channie groaned in pleasure, his hips rocking forward to meet her eager mouth.

hyunjin watched the scene unfold, his own cock throbbing with need. he added a third finger to y/n's pussy, stretching her further. "damn, you're so good taking hyung's dick…" he grunted, his fingers pumping in and out of her slick heat.

her moans vibrated around bangchan's cock, sending shockwaves of pleasure through his body. he grabbed a fistful of her hair, guiding her head as he fucked her mouth. "that's it, baby. take my cock like a good little slut."

jinnie could feel y/n's walls fluttering around his fingers, a telltale sign of her impending orgasm. he rubbed her clit with his thumb, pushing her over the edge.

y/n came hard, her pussy gushing around hyunjin's fingers. she moaned around bangchan's cock, her body shaking with the force of her climax.

bangchan couldn't hold back any longer. with a grunt, he pulled out of her mouth and came, his hot seed splattering across her face and tits.

slowly, hyun removed his fingers from inside the girl, seeing all that juice and sticky cum on his hand. he felt a desire to taste her and, for sure, next time, he would suck her pussy.

“you taste very good, honey.” he stated precisely, his tongue around his long, thin fingers, cleaning them thoroughly.

[jjkamochoso]

Helooo sorry to barge in!

I was hoping maybe you do a creation of one of Kaiju no 9 of making humans but he left her thinking she's a waste of creation.

The JAKDF found her though she was dead (inside a pod that contains some water and oxygen mask for humans to breathe)

Then the container suddenly opens and Hoshina out of reflex catches fem reader.

These might be time consuming so sorry about that but you can take your time of wanting to do this but even if you ignore it I don't mind. Ok! Thankyouuu for your time!!🤝🏻✨✨✨

Hello and welcome to my blog!! Thanks so much for this request, this is such a cool idea!! I’m sorry it took so long but I very much appreciate your patience😁🫶 I hope you love this!!

Too Cute to Be a Kaiju

Angst, Fluff

Soshiro Hoshina x f! reader

Warnings: description of medical paraphernalia (oxygen masks, tubing attached to body, etc.)

You felt… incredible. Invincible, even. Of course, that was after the excruciating pain that had been inflicted upon you for the past who knows how long. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt sunshine on your skin or what a breath of fresh air tasted like, but you also couldn’t remember what it was like to feel so powerful.

And then everything went black.

Kaiju No. 9 had been quiet for the past month.

Too quiet.

Soshiro Hoshina frowned at the news, or lack thereof, being reported to him about No. 9’s whereabouts by a soldier tasked with the unfortunate job of being at the brunt of the JAKDF’s finest’s frustrations.

“…and there was nothing to report there either. Our operations team did report a sudden spike in fortitude levels near an abandoned cave, but the excavation team didn’t make note of any evidence of No. 9 having been there-”

“Hold on. Where was that?” Soshiro interrupted, his bored expression turned immediately interested.

“Where was what, sir?” the solider replied, the shake of nerves overtaking her voice.

“The spike in fortitude levels. Where was that at?”

“At… at a cave, sir,” she swallowed thickly.

Soshiro fought the urge to grab her by the collar and shake the answer out of her, instead choosing to grin sarcastically.

“I got that part. Any idea which one?”

“Um…” She flipped through the pages of reports in her hands with fervor. “Here, sir.”

He took the paper from her outstretched hand. A singular red dot stood out on the black and white map, its location just outside Third Division’s city boundaries.

Thanking her, he handed it back. “Did anyone follow up on this irregularity?”

She shook her head no and Soshiro’s eyebrows furrowed.

“That’s all. Thank you.”

“But the report, sir, I’m not done-”

“Are there any sightings of 9 in there?”

“No sir.”

He shrugged. “Then I’m good. I’m releasing you from report reading duty to go do something more worthwhile.”

The soldier, albeit confused, saluted him and walked out of his office. Rubbing his face with his hands, Soshiro took in a breath.

Looks like I’m going spelunking.

A few days, tons of arguing with higher ups, and plenty of paperwork later, the vice captain of the Third Division found himself facing the depths of a cave on the coast outside Tokyo. He was allotted two soldiers to go with him in case something went awry, both of which were currently arguing over who had to enter the suspicious looking cave first. While they were occupied with each other, Soshiro pulled out his tablet and began to measure fortitude levels in the surrounding area. For several minutes, the reading stayed at zero, signaling that nothing of concern was residing there.

Maybe it was a fluke.

Without warning, the fortitude level readings pulsed with numbers fluctuating between 1.4 and 7.6. Soshiro’s eyes blitzed away from the screen and began to scan for an immediate threat, yet he found none. As quick as it began, the levels went back down to zero.

“Have you two stopped bickering and figured out which one of you is heading in there first?” Soshiro addressed the squabbling soldiers.

“Since you’re in charge, sir, we think you should,” one of them said after a moment’s pause, causing the other to nod along eagerly. Soshiro sighed and entered into the depths, his fingers itching for the safety of his blades.

The cave was like a labyrinth; it would be a feat for Soshiro’s small team to be able to retrace their steps to the entrance when they were done exploring. Keeping an eye on the fortitude readings, there was no change while walking the first few miles of the underground tunnel. All of a sudden, like before, the tablet alerted Soshiro to readings ranging from 3.3 to 8.5. He pressed on, his soldiers cowering behind their vice captain like scared children. The pathway of the cave started to narrow and Soshiro felt his heart pound with unease. Before long, he was struggling to fit through the tunnel. With the little light he had emanating from his flashlight, he saw that the tunnel has been damaged by some sort of explosion, leading the walls to cave in on themselves.

As if someone—or something—had been trying to hide what they were up to.

There’s something here. I know it.

With one final squeeze over fallen rocks, Soshiro and his team were rewarded with a change of view. They had come upon a wide open space, with stalagmites gracing the surrounding areas. Sticky air permeated this part of the cave and Soshiro’s lungs struggled to work in the thick atmosphere.

“What is this place?” piped up a squeaky voice.

“We’re here to find that out,” murmured Soshiro, his flashlight lighting up the walls to gain a sense of his surroundings. “Take a look around and report back if you find something.”

“I found something!” yelped the other solider, his flashlight quivering, casting moving shadows on the…

The…

What exactly was that?

Soshiro inched closer, wanting to investigate. There was no way that was what he thought it was. As he moved in and realized what he saw, his eyes widened in shock. Standing tall in the middle of the cave was a giant tube filled with some sort of liquid. Floating inside the tube was a woman, a thin white gown covering her body and an oxygen mask covering her mouth. There were various small tubes and cords running off of her, but nothing seemed to be in working order.

She couldn’t be the source of the wavering fortitude levels…

Could she?

Against better judgement, Soshiro approached the tube. This discovery, no matter what it was, was going to be extremely important. It didn’t matter if this was a breakthrough for the JAKDF or just the local police force.

He was going to get her out of here.

“Is she a Kaiju, sir?” asked the soldier who found the woman first.

“I don’t see how she could be,” replied Soshiro, circling the tube, “but this is very strange.”

“She’s too cute to be a Kaiju,” remarked the other soldier and Soshiro glared at him, the soldier now averting his eyes in embarrassment.

Soshiro studied the woman for a good while, his hand clasped under his chin in thought. She must be dead since there was no way she could’ve survived down there with no food or water, suspended in water like that.

“What happened to you, hm? Were you experimented on by some sort of freak?” Soshiro wondered aloud. His tablet alerted him to a change in fortitude levels but he had no time to check it.

The pod burst opened.

Without even having to think about it, Soshiro caught the woman’s body with ease as she was flung out of the now opened pod door, water pouring out and soaking the both of them. Soshiro was thoroughly confused by what brought that on, but he had barely a moment to think before the woman’s eyes fluttered open and his tablet recorded no more instances of rising fortitude levels.

“Are you alright?” he asked, still holding her close to his chest.

“I… don’t know,” you croaked out, your voice rusty from disuse.

“Shh, don’t hurt yourself. I’ve got you, okay?” Soshiro reassured you, his firm grip a comfort on your aching arms. You didn’t seem like a Kaiju, going off of your looks, but there was no way you were 100% human. Your skin was much too cold for you to not be shivering, nor was it pruny from being suspended in water for who knows how long.

“Hey, dumb and dumber. Disconnect her from the tube, would ya?”

The soldiers, frozen in surprise at the alive woman in front of them, broke out of their stupor and pulled at the cords, unplugging you from your container.

“What’s your name, darling?” asked Soshiro, trying his best to keep a calm demeanor to get you to talk.

“I… I don’t…”

Your head felt like it was splitting in two. All of your memories were hazy. You couldn’t remember your real name, where you were from, or how you got down there in the first place. The only thing that was clear in your mind were the experiments done on you and a sinister voice calling you disobedient and a waste of creation. You didn’t want to think about your past anymore—you wanted to focus on the present, with the soft touch of a handsome man quelling your worries like you never had them to begin with. This man, who was holding you with such fondness, too much for a stranger like you, you thought, was making your chest pound like your heart would burst through at any time.

“Hey, it’s alright. Don’t stress over it. We’ll get you out of here and cleaned up, okay?”

The man gestured at who you assumed were his team. You didn’t care to look at them; you couldn’t take your eyes off the man with the bowl cut.

He looked very familiar.

“You… I know you…” you declared, staring into his bright purple irises, trying to place where you knew him from.

“Do you? I’m on the news a lot, you know.”

He flashed you a smile, his fangs barely peeking over his lips, but it was enough for the memory to come rushing in faster than the water rushed out of your pod. You flung yourself out of his grasp like his skin had burnt your own, putting a fair amount of distance between the two of you.

“Vice Captain Hoshina,” you called out, your breathing heavy as you grappled between restraining yourself and giving into your monstrous urges, “I was going to be sent to kill you.”

Soshiro only raised his eyebrows at your words, seemingly not worried about anything of what you just told him. He sauntered over to you without a care in the world, his goofy grin still plastered on his face.

That’s too bad. She really is cute.

Taglist: @kana-daydreams

[pzychojinx]

so, jinx in act one of season two. see, for three years i expected a full on descent into chaos and madness beyond any repair. i'd made peace with that, too. so i'm surprised - pleasantly, joyfully surprised.

very long analysis ahead on where they're taking her and how it speaks to me.

we first meet her again during silco's eulogy sequence - a beautiful sequence, halfway between dreamlike and real. "just like when vander shoved off", she says about his death. except it's not. after vander's death, after vi's perceived abandonment, everything jinx could feel was self-centered. she would say "she's not my sister anymore". she would devalue these people entirely. in fact, every single reaction to any action done by her loved ones would be self-centered and extreme. that is very much how her mental process works, how her trauma caused her to work. and more so: when silco would ask of her any work, any mission, she'd do the job purely for his sake, his affection, his approval, never caring about the cause.

in short, she was never able to get out of her own head for as much as a single minute. now, she starts the funeral off with "chembarons warring for control of the lanes. wannabe street thugs squabbling over scraps. just like when vander shoved off." and it's not about her abandonment anymore. it's not about being left alone. it's not about her. she's talking to silco about his city, his legacy, his world, his chembarons, his lanes. she's out of her own head, and it's the first time we ever see it.

"because someone put all those holes in you", she says then. and this is so interesting because there's obviously a dissociation here, as well as a very intense grief and sadness. we are obviously still dealing with someone who's deeply traumatized and unstable, but let's compare this with powder after the deaths of vander, mylo and claggor. powder had a full breakdown, both turned into a complete de-evaluation of vi as i was mentioning earlier and full desperation. "i only wanted to help, i only wanted to help, i only wanted to help".

this chaotic desperation is something jinx kept within herself throughout the entirety of s1 up until - the tea party. which i'm getting at, in a minute. point being, for now, that the jinx we see during silco's eulogy is grieving and lost and rootless and asking herself "what am i supposed to do with that?", but she lacks the chaotic full-on desperation that would lead her to acts of explosive destruction and/or self-destruction in s1. in fact, she's incredibly quieter. she's more grounded, more present in her movements, in the way she fights, in the way she talks.

in retrospect even her final action in s1, the infamous missile, already had the energy we're seeing now. it wasn't instinctive, driven by hallucinations or trauma or rage or an unrestrained trigger; it was silco's legacy and it was calculated. silco's death, i think now, left jinx as rootless as she's ever been, but it also left her with an acceptance of who she is. "don't cry, you're perfect". the tea party ends with her 'choosing' jinx and if you'd asked me before season two, i would have said with full certainty it meant she'd be going to be a loose cannon. entirely and with no possibility of ever being anything else. that's not what i think now.

i think she came to terms with who she is. i think now that the seat at the tea party wasn't a symbol of complete derailing, it was in a way a symbol of acceptance. "here's to the new us". she's fought her fight between powder and jinx and the tea party has permitted her to gain, in some way, a sense of closure. very importantly, having lost what she perceived as vi's acceptance, and having lost a father, she has also been able to shed the constant and desperate need to be in their favor.

during the 'sucker' sequence, we see her going through the lanes with a hood on her hair, very low-key. loose cannon jinx would have never, ever done that. loose cannon jinx would, quite simply, not have cared. she would have been extra, and explosive, and in everyone's faces. she's preserving herself not to be found, and that's new. again, i think she's still lost and rootless and grieving and really asking herself what she's supposed to do now that she's entirely autonomous and i also think there's definitely still a lot of bitterness and rage when it comes to vi which we obviously get to see during their fight and in no way is she magically ~healthy or anything like that - however.

she is still walking those streets in a way that indicates self-preservation. it would have been very, very easy for jinx to be captured by any of those goons and/or got herself killed. and for some reason, whether that be an apathetic, mourning state or mind, or whether that be some gained peace in who she is, or both - she didn't.

given all this, the new element that season two act one has introduced for her that truly moved me and made me feel... healed in a sort of way, is the introduction of human bonds for jinx that defy her historical, co-dependent mechanism of idolization and de-evaluation. ergo, sevika and isha. this is incredible for her and most of all, it's realistic. it's a chance at something, but it doesn't feel forced, nor fairytale-esque, nor does it resemble your usual ~redemption arc.

sevika and isha function as people who she's building some bond with, and since she's a little bit less in her own fucking head, and since she's not clinging to them as idealized protectors / saviours and neither is she refusing them as betrayers, and since she's not constantly fighting between what she perceives as her double identity anymore, she finally has the possibility to experience healthier bonds. sevika functions as somebody who still ties her to silco, possibly the closest thing she has right now to any root she might have left, and it works: reminiscing silco with her, gifting her the arm, doesn't leave her utterly alone but neither does it let her fall into the trap of clinging onto yet another figure from whom to fully depend.

and isha, very obviously, functions as the possibility of healing her inner child which is a goldmine for her storyline. her bond with isha could clearly have a narrative tie to jinx & silco, to jinx & vi, and most importantly to jinx and powder herself - this is all quite obvious but again, it's not executed in a way that feels like a forced 'redemption arc' or whatnot. the idea of this little street kid who just imprints on her like a lost little duckling, which is in no way jinx's decision, simply feels natural and heartwarming. does this mean i presume such healing of her inner child is going to come easy to her? no. but it's something. it's something very different from anything she's ever experienced before.

even through the loss, the rootlessness, the grief and confusion, the panic attack we see her experiencing through the lanes as a consequence of the moment she sees vi and caitlyn's enforcer squad, even through the brutality of the fight with vi, - and this is all to say, she's still a very traumatized individual, which is important because it would have just been senseless to have jinx somehow get fully stable like a switch had been flipped - we're seeing something new for jinx here. i've seen many posts related to "i'm glad it's you", and i might be unpopular here but while i do think jinx still has an element of suicidality, i also think she was at least half bluffing there. comparing her micro-expressions with the ones back on the bridge fight with ekko, i'm under the impression she was testing vi, at the very least partially. "poisoning us with gas?" is also an interesting line because even in her attack at her sister, she's less focused on her own trauma and more on something that we've hardly seen from her before - belonging to the lanes.

all of this to say, i'm loving the path they're taking for her. it's still very much jinx. it feels like jinx. but she's not just about to wreak senseless and desperate havoc in order to be seen by either her sister or her father, because there's no one to be seen by anymore. she's not fighting a desperate battle between her identities either, because she's accepted her place. she's not loud and erratic, she's quieter and coming to terms with herself. closure is truly the word that comes to mind, for me, in how i see her arc right now. closure, and unexpectedly, possibility.

[cepheustarot]

What does fate have in store for you in the near future?

Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur or being ultimate truth. You build your own life and destiny and only you know yourself best.

Paid readings

Pick a pile. Choose one or more pictures. Trust your intuition.

Pile 1: Here fate will arrange for you to meet a person. It will be an unexpected meeting for you, since a person will literally appear suddenly out of nowhere but from the first days you will feel a strong connection with them, you will get very close to this person, you will open your soul to them, as they will open theirs to you, in general, emotional and personal conversations will be involved here. By themself the person is calm, perhaps they are not very emotional and in some places can behave as if they do not care but in fact it is not so! Person is very sensitive, prone to empathy, they are a good listener and you can say they generally like to listen more than talk. They may also be well versed in psychology or something similar, may have a lot of experience in terms of relationships between people. And although a person is very sensitive, still relies on logic and common sense, not allowing emotions to take over. In general fate organized this meeting for you to help you succeed in some area (mostly in terms of studies, finances, work) or if you had problems then they will help you solve them. It is also necessary for you to find support in it since now you may be in limbo and feel unstable or you constantly have situations that unsettle you.

Pile 2: As I see it this option could be chosen by those who do not feel very well morally, you feel exhausted or you have been depressed lately, you may feel very tired, burnout, stress and all that sort of thing. You may also miss a lot of privacy, being alone and you may feel a lot of pressure from your family or people around you. Here you might not find the opportunity to relax or generally forget to rest because you were immersed in some kind of activity. So here fate, roughly speaking, will "force you" to take a break, perhaps your plans will be interrupted and you will be forced to spend time with yourself. Perhaps your loved ones will leave for other cities, places or will be too busy to meet you or vice versa you will have to leave for some reason.

Pile 3: Here fate will give you a choice that cannot be abandoned, where there will be no third option and you will have to choose from what you have. In particular this choice is associated with some person dear to you, with whom you have known for a long time, communicate closely and in general you can have a very strong connection. It can be your close friend, your lover, your colleague, your partner with whom you work, etc. In particular here you will have to make a choice to continue communicating with this person or not, since your relationship has reached some kind of dead end and is not developing in any way, you may not feel the same warmth on his part, the same interest and it may seem to you that this person has changed. This choice is a turning point in your life or on your life path but in any case, thanks to this situation, you will be able to gain wisdom, become stronger, more experienced — in any case, all this will only be a plus for you even if it is hard or painful at the beginning, then everything will bear fruit in the end.

Thank you for reading! I will be glad of any feedback 🖤

[fatalism-and-villainy]

I’m trying to untangle The Problem of Garashir (not the least because, well, I’m writing the pairing) -

and I think honestly one of the biggest… roadblocks? bits of untapped potential in the pairing? is that we never really see their relationship put a strain on their ideological convictions.

Which is to say, “the societal institutions we’re subject to are corrupt, but our love is pure, so we’re going to abandon those institutions for each other” is, whether implicitly or explicitly, a common framing in fanfic featuring them (such as I’ve seen) - and to be fair, it’s a common romance trope in general. But I can’t say it works for me for these characters. And part of that is that imo the show doesn’t sufficiently set that up with its development of the relationship between these two characters, but another part of that is that I simply don’t see a world in which that kind of relationship dynamic/approach would fit with their characterizations.

To address the first point - there are never any situations involving these characters in which their fundamental values or institutional loyalties are challenged as a result of their relationship. At no point does Garak, for example, have to choose between Cardassia and his affection for Bashir. (I’ve seen people read The Wire that way, but I don’t think the reading works - The Wire is a fantastic showcase for Garak’s worldview and value system and the cracks and contradictions therein, but even though Bashir’s unwavering commitment to helping him despite what he’s done is certainly unprecedented and moving to him, his underlying value system hasn’t changed by the end of that episode.) And while Bashir’s faith in Starfleet and the Federation does get rocked quite a bit over the course of the show, it’s never because of his friendship with Garak.

Instead, I’d say that with some exceptions (like The Wire), their friendship in the early seasons is usually framed as a respite from their serious responsibilities or moral dilemmas. This especially true of Garak, who is likely not used to someone simply enjoying his company with no ulterior motives whatsoever, but the narrative maneuvering of the show also does a lot to shield Bashir from the reality of who Garak is. Yes, he gets a taste of that in The Wire, when Garak goes out of his way to impress upon him what the reality of his life as a spy truly was. But that’s still only verbal testimony, and only confined to what Garak has done in the past. Bashir is largely absent from all the shit that Garak pulls during the show!

And I’m not complaining that, say, the events of The Die Is Cast take place between Garak and Odo, because it makes thematic sense for it to be Odo for that arc. (And I love that friendship.) But Garak and Bashir do not get a plot like that, or like In the Pale Moonlight, where Bashir is directly exposed to or complicit in Garak’s immoral behaviour. The closest we get to an actual serious ethical clash between them is in Our Man Bashir, which is a goofy comedy episode. (And it’s worth noting that Bashir calls Garak’s bluff and shoots him in that confrontation! Yeah, he likely missed on purpose, given what we later learn about his magic hand-eye coordination, but he’s still unwilling to compromise on his heroism for Garak’s sake. It’s actually a pretty Cardassian gesture, which is probably part of why Garak loves it so much, but it does say a lot about where their priorities are re: their commitment to their values vs. each other.)

And I think the lack of more serious, plot-relevant ethical conflict between Garak and Bashir is a real loss for the show, because one thing I find really interesting about their relationship is that - in contrast to the examples of Odo and Sisko up there - Bashir is the person in the cast most able to hold Garak accountable. He’s repeatedly established as one of the most firmly moral members of the cast, and his righteous anger at seeing those morals trodden upon is one of his most defining character traits in the later seasons. His unconditional forgiveness of Garak in The Wire is lovely, and it is an important moment in the development of both their relationship and Bashir’s character. But in the long term, once we get into actual serious, consequential war and espionage plots? And if we’re imagining them in a long term committed relationship? It wouldn’t be sustainable, and it doesn’t feel in keeping with Bashir’s character that’d he have endless reservoirs of patience and understanding specifically for Garak. And it’s precisely because Bashir is uniquely able to grant Garak forgiveness that he’d also potentially be uniquely able to chastise him.

(This is why, by the way, my headcanon as to the in-universe reason why they don’t seem as close in the later seasons, paternity deathbed reveals and occasional flirty bantering notwithstanding, is that Bashir was seriously fucking pissed at the stunt Garak pulled in Broken Link, both in terms of the personal betrayal and the destructiveness towards sentient life, and that it created a significant rift between them.)

All of that is to say - my biggest regret with the show’s sidelining of their dynamic isn’t the fact that their relationship never becomes romantic (not a chance of that in the 90s, and also these writers were pretty terrible at writing romance) but that they never get to have an argument. An actual serious, non-flirtatious, two-sided, genuinely-angry-at-each-other-argument. I want to see conflict! (I honestly think that their exchange in What You Leave Behind comes the closest to the kind of conflict I’d like to pick up on in post-canon fic - where they are conciliatory in the moment but still have this really wrenching chasm between them, and unresolved frustration as a result of that chasm.)

So as an extension of these thoughts, I actually really like that we’re not given the basis for a traditional “us against the world” style romance plot. I like that these characters are clearly deeply fond of each other and significant to each others’ development, but have other important connections (Garak especially, since despite being only a recurring character introduced through Bashir, he integrates into the broader cast) and other priorities besides each other.

Furthermore, despite the significant differences in their value systems, one very fundamental thing they have in common is how passionately devoted they are to their respective causes. For Garak, it’s Cardassia. And while his idea of what it means to serve Cardassia, and what Cardassia needs, undergoes a lot of change over the course of the show, I don’t see any version of Garak in which Cardassia is not his first love. For Bashir, it’s altruism and helping people, as well as his intellectual curiosity - aims which are reflected in Starfleet and the Federation for him but ultimately higher ideals.

And I don’t think either Garak or Bashir would admire the other nearly as much if they were willing to let go of everything they hold dear for the sake of romance. They’re both far too committed to being a part of the world. Garak may have some fun with trying to shake Bashir of his optimism, but ultimately Bashir’s goodness, his fierce conviction that no one deserves to suffer, are among the most compelling aspects of his personality. And if Bashir is ever going to actually enter a serious relationship with Garak, he’s got to move beyond flirty intrigue and literary banter and see Garak as someone who’s proactively committed to goals that Bashir can respect. If they’re coming together as a couple, it’s because their aims and beliefs have come into alignment in some way.

And to be fair, a lot of post-canon Cardassia stuff is doing the latter. But I also want more… conflict within that framework, I guess? I don’t want a romantic relationship and the act of getting together to be the endpoint of whatever reconciliation of values they need to work through. And that’s part of what I’m trying to untangle in planning this fic of mine - especially regarding how fraught romantic commitment feels for them. For Bashir, there’s the problem of not only reconciling himself with what Garak has done, but also of choosing to be with someone whose impulses and entire cultural belief system places duty and institutional loyalty above personal feelings. And for Garak, there’s the fact that the most devoted and emotionally intense relationship he’s had in his life thus far has been with Tain, who embodied Cardassia for him - and as a result, I doubt he quite knows what to do with the possibility of a serious relationship with Bashir, who is very emphatically not Cardassia. He’s not used to being divided in his passions!

It’s not that I’m never capable of being moved by post-canon stuff that involves Bashir being charmed by how slippery Garak is, or them generally being quippy and fond of each other (I’m not made of stone here). But I’m never satisfied with just that, because that escapist element never feels like it translates well from the early seasons of the show to post-canon, and because it never engages with what I find the most fascinating about what’s set up with their whole dynamic. (And I especially dislike it when it feels like Bashir’s character is getting shortchanged in terms of his complexity and moral convictions being excised in order for Garak to get everything he wants.)

[hallucinatinghalos]

It's interesting to me that the show writers have decided to make the monastery be the moment Lestat is brought home violently, and at (I would assume) such a young age. In TVL he's still taken from the monastery against his will and denied an education (devastating enough) but it's not until he's older and runs away to join the theatre troupe that they drag him home violently. His eventual response to the assault and yet again being denied control of his life, and some other major events I'll skip over, is to move to Paris and become an actor anyway. But by making the physical abuse happen so young, and be so brutal, they're creating a flashpoint of extreme helplessness and harm without hope of escape that will parallel his turning by Magnus (who also now imprisons him for a week which is longer than the books' shorter but still horrific turning)

The repercussions of the abuse at the hands of his father and brother as it occurs in the show would be a little death, a transformation. The child that left for the monastery is lost, the Lestat that walks out of his room with his prayers silenced and saints forgotten cannot be the same person and survive. That will certainly mirror his mortal/human death and turning by Magnus. He is struck down, altered so cruelly by both his father and by his maker.

And don't even get me started on the ramifications of his relationship with the divine. That he wanted to be a priest. That his prayers repeatedly go unanswered in the face of such horrors. The ocean between himself and God.

The part of the apology/reconciliation scene that I think strikes best at the heart of his abandonment issues as it pertains to the divine is when he gently scoffs at himself for calling out to God during his turning. Despite previous experience, he again tried to survive the wrath of a larger, stronger being by praying. The situation so extreme he was made utterly powerless. And yet, again, there was no intervention. Again, he was abandoned to this awful fate and now there he sits a monster. Worst of all though he's his family's monster asking for forgiveness that he does not feel he deserves. You know he recognizes the anger in Claudia's eyes, the harm he's done. His smile a sad defense against Louis' pity. It's crushing.

"I didn't want this." he tells them as if to apologize for his very existence, his being.

He has become the thing he hates most.

He is so vulnerable here. My god.

I can't even allow my mind to delve into his psychological state in the garbage dump, post-murder. Can you imagine one of your greatest fears being abandoned and your family, knowing this, throw you out with the trash. And that he knows he pushed Claudia and Louis to such desperation. It's no wonder he breaks down during the trial when recalling Louis putting him in his coffin, that Louis saved him despite what he was, what he'd done. His one consolation being that Louis still loved him enough. I will never be convinced, until we see otherwise, that he was at the trial for retribution, and I do not trust the tower scene as we saw it at all. He would mentally be in tatters. He would've arrived in Paris already in such a state. Then the events of the trial, whatever his involvement ultimately was, of seeing Louis in that situation and watching Claudia murdered...there are no words for what he would be going through (and that's without knowing what the full context of the trial was for him) we can only assume from what remains years later...

A broken creature.

Louis leaving him was truly a push to destruction equal to Armand pushing his weakened body off the tower in the book, as near a fatal blow as Louis could strike in that moment. Lestat is alone and defeated. A fate he maybe feels he deserves, that he should've never survived to this point anyway. His existence only seeming to harm those he's loved most (can't forget Nicki here.) There is something about him choosing to sit in that ruined house and starve that calls back to his bedroom prison post-monastery. I can see why Rolin allowed the level of emotion to remain in the reunion scene. Because Lestat is as emotionally broken here as he is physically broken in the book. There is next to nothing left in him to rally against the flood of his feelings. He's that kid starving in his room, the man trapped with a monster, and a being that's hated his mind & body for lifetimes. It's unbearably sad and it should be gut-wrenching.

I'm guessing these changes (maybe more a shuffling) are just for more efficient storytelling. A way to get the viewer from point A to point B of his messy backstory more quickly with the same trauma of bookLestat still intact. What is my point? I don't know. I don't really have one. Mostly I'm just rambling, appreciating the show writers, and I really need new content.

Added a cut because below is a short S3 speculation that may contain spoilers.

Not that anyone asked but I'm leaning toward the idea that they'll have it be when he runs away with the theatre troupe (or just leaves for Paris) as a young adult he never comes home again. That the wolves will happen at some point before that but remain the life-changing catalyst and that the reunion with Nicki will be in Paris. That he will have a longer acting career before Magnus finds him. If that is the way it goes I hope Gabrielle still has a hand in his flight from Auvergne, but we'll see.

[ribbonsncherries]

I have a request if you are interested? :)

A teen!dad jess. He has a best friend from New York (she can have a name or it can be Y/N, you can choose) (they are endgame, jess never had feelings for Rory but she has feelings for Jess, it won't go anywhere) Jess and his best friend have a kid, they co-parent (whether they are dating already or in the future is up to you) Jess gets sent to Stars Hallow, she ends up moving to stars Hallow to, to be close to Jess and so their kid can be with him too (she is emancipated, plus Jess knows she's coming because they keep in contact) if anyone reading this would like to turn this into an actual story, I'm totally down for reading it :) if you choose this request, I look forward to reading it. Thank you!!

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹𝓗𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓸 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓼 𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓸𝔀!˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

A/N: Of course! I’ve had the biggest crush on Jess since I was little. He really opened my eyes to bad boys lol. But this is my first story request, so I was super excited I literally made a whole timeline of what happened which would've taken way too much time to publish so I hope you enjoy this mini one shot! 

Summary: Jess Mariano became a teen dad at 16 and a year later is now struggling to find a place in Stars Hollow to keep his son and girlfriend safe and close. Eventually, the Gilmores come to the rescue! 

Warnings: Nothing but fluff :)

Divider credits:

@anitalenia @cafekitsune

GIF Credits:

@luke-danes

REBLOGS AND LIKES ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED!

It started as a game. Just a stupid game of 7 minutes in heaven at a house party. It turned into a friends-with-benefits deal cause Y/N and Jess were too stupidly shy to express their feelings yet the sex was enough for both of them. They were dumb hormonal teenagers. But when Y/N needed to go to the bathroom more, her craving for lemonade increased, and her period was late. The two faint lines appeared boldly. When she told Jess his heart sank. They both didn’t know how to feel, but when talk of abortion came for the both of them from a flyer they didn’t have the heart to do it. So they chose to have the baby even though both were scared shitless. When Y/N’s parents found out it was even worse, they told her they would not take over anything. Everything was up to Y/N and Jess, They would not keep or take care of the baby unless she went to school or got a job. Jess’ mother however was displeased. She was a bit afraid her son would follow the path his father did, to abandon Y/N and start something new with another woman and never hear from him again. But as Jess began working more and more to help financially his mother’s worries lessened, Y/N however continued her studies at home getting money from Jess every day to prepare for the arrival of their baby. So when their baby boy Liam finally came after 9 months it was like hot potato. Liam was passed back and forth between the both of them, although both Jess and Y/N liked each other it was hard to see each other so often from work and school. But after a year Jess was shipped off to Stars Hollow, Connecticut to be with his uncle because of his lack of effort in school. So Y/N and Jess decided it would be best for the both of them to make this work and go together. But there were some problems with Luke.

“No,” Luke said as he began making coffee. Jess had his arms in the air and shrugged with a scoff. “Luke, it’s my girlfriend and my kid. I can’t be away from my kid.” Luke looked him up and down “You shouldn’t have been doing that tango kid, 'cause I'm not having a puking and crying kid in my already cramped-up apartment. Jess, I'm sorry but we don’t have space and even if we did your school is one of the priorities along with taking care of both of them.” Lorelai came into the diner like always and sat in the barstool. “Hey! Mr Lukey Danes, Coffee for your very special and loyal customer pretty please with a little cherry on top,” she said snapping her fingers in a joking manner. “Lorelai not now.” Luke scoffed. “What’s going on? What's with the attitude between you men? Did he steal your super secret Krabby patty formula or something?” she asked. Jess rolled his eyes as he went upstairs. Luke grabbed a mug and poured coffee in it “Jess wants to bring his girlfriend and kid to Stars Hollow. But we can’t.” he said simply. Lorelai’s smile faded, “He has a kid..” she asked softly. “Yeah, with some girl named Y/N. She graduated early to take care of their kid and Jess wants both her and his son here but I told him there's no space and I can’t help cause of the diner and-”

“I’ll bring her in.” 

Luke looked at Lorelai. Her face wasn’t her joking face or smiling banter like always. But a serious one, her look of almost desperation. Lorelai looked back on when she was pregnant with Rory. How no one helped her and Christopher not even being there. But she saw how disappointed Jess’ face was when she came in. “Lorelai I can’t ask you for that, it’s too much your house is already cramped up,” Luke said. “No, tell Jess to tell Y/N to come, and I'll take her in, besides, it’s only me and a smarty pants who's always in school,” she said seriously. “I know how she probably must feel. I’ll tell Rory and we’ll make adjustments to an old upstairs room,” she said as she got up almost excitedly. “You forgot to pay!” Luke yelled out. “You can cover the bill for me ol’ diner boy!” she yelled out. 

Jess got the news and began helping out Rory and Lorelai with moving everything and making sure everything was perfect for when Y/N and Liam arrived. He paid for furniture and sheets while Lorelai and Rory cleaned up some of Rory’s baby furniture to give to Jess and Y/N. Although they were girly it was better than nothing after all. Then suddenly everyone in Stars Hollow now knew Jess Mariano the 17-year-old schoolboy had a son. “Thank you guys so much, for letting us stay, I’m sorry for the bother, Liam cries only when his diaper is wet I promise I’ll try to keep quiet,” Y/N said as she carried Liam into the house while Rory helped with her luggage. “I’ll clean and cook, anything you tell me I’ll do,” she said. Lorelai smiled, “Well, thanks our wallets are crying from takeout every day.” she joked “But seriously it’s fine I was in your shoes before and I understand how hard it is for you to be so young. it’s fine.” Jess came in with bags in his hands filled with baby stuff. “I was gonna surprise you but I guess not,” he said smiling. Y/N sped walked towards him and hugged him while Liam was in between the two. 

“I’m glad you're here,” he said softly in her ear. He kissed her softly and pulled away to take Liam from her arms. “Hey.’ Jess smiled at Liam. His black hair shone in the sun from the window as the baby smiled and tugged on Jess’ shirt. “Hopefully you haven't been giving your mom a hard time these past few weeks,” he said to him smiling. Liam laid his head on Jess’ chest as he sucked his pacifier while Jess’ carried him around the house while Rory and Lorelai were giving Y/N a small tour of everything in the House as well as Stars Hollow. Everyone in Stars Hollow was suddenly interested in the new mom and son in town Including Kirk who offered to babysit for the very specific price of 23.99. Although the people were strange (Kirk) and people began asking about her and Liam it was finally Jess and Y/N alone in their room with Liam right in between them. 

“I’ve missed you” he whispered to her. His fingers ran through her hair as he looked into her eyes. Y/N closed her eyes as she took in everything. “Me too, just afraid I guess. It’s much quieter than New York I'll say that.” she smiled. She looked down to see Liam softly snoring in between them. Her hands went to the soft black hair he got from Jess as she smiled.  “This wasn’t the life I expected, but I’m glad I’m down this path with you and I don’t regret it one bit…” she said softly. Y/N leaned in and kissed Jess softly and passionately. This was their fresh start in life in the small town of Stars Hollow.

[glassica]

Second Male Lead

Notes: M!yan 2nd male lead, Gn!reader*, jealousy, reincarnation, obsessiveness, possessiveness, implied potential kidnapping and murder *reader is more like an observer, not shipped with anyone

-> part 2 with different yan

You got second male lead syndrome.

No matter how much author emphasizing the undeniable chemistry and love between the main couple your eyes only had him. With brownish eyes reminded of untouched sacred woods and dark silky hair slicked back, he was a perfect balance of not too interesting to overshadow the male lead while unique enough to stand out from the extras. Friend of female lead from childhood, he'd always been by her side protecting and looking out to her well-being, hardly be wavered unless it was a matter regarding the heroine. His silent thoughtfulness reserved only for the main character had charmed thousand fans of the series, which included you.

In the previous world you kept daydreaming about travelling inside the novel just to whisk him away. After all, you read countless isekai stories where protagonists from your world winning the heart of abandoned side characters. You were sure you could do the same to him, by showering him with endless attention and love he didn't get from the female lead. In no time he'd be head over heels for you!

"Apologize, but I fear I'm unable to return your sentiments."

Giving you a polite bow, he gently turned down the bouquet of roses which you'd painstakingly catered to match his taste. Today was the equivalent of Valentine in your old world, you were determinded to catch the love of your life at all cost. His rejection throbbed your heart a little, but you weren't the one to back out easily. That's right, you'd been waiting your whole life (actually two) for this moment, you just needed to keep up a little more.

"No sir, please don't be sorry. I'm the one who out of the moon confessed to you. Of course you would be startled!" - you replied cheerfully, trying the best to hide your disappointment. "My feelings came out too strong, but if you don't mind, would you mind joining me for a dance later?"

"I'll have to decline that. I've never been a fan of dancing. I'm really selective in choosing partner and to be honest, there's only one I ever want to take to the dance floor."

You knew right away who he was talking to. The nobleman didn't even bother to be subtle, as the whole time talking to you his eyes unchangingly laid on her. Shining with glitter and lace, basking in attention of the whole ballroom, the heroine was there, hand in hand with her royal lover, rejoicing herself to the dreamy sound of orchestra. The scene was wholly magical, breathtaking,… and perhaps jealousy-inducing.

For obvious reason this lit a fire in your stomach. You cursed the author for making it almost impossible for you to leave any impression on his mind, when your competition was the center of this universe and everyone’s darling. In the midst of envy, you blurted out words that forever detrimented his opinion about you

"She’s engaged to the Crown Prince."

"I know."

"Sir, she would never look at you with those eyes. Perhaps you should look for someone who will appreciate and reciprocrate your passion."

Now you had his full attention, not a positive one mind you. Shooting an icy glance visibly filled belittlement and fury, as though he was sneering at you extra character for having audacity to dictate how he should live his life.

"Oh well, she will soon. You don’t just assume I’ll sit there and let any vermin taking what’s rightfully mine, no? You believe I would be that selfless of a man?"

For the first time ever in your interaction had you sensed enthusiasm in his often monotomous voice. That’s right, the second male lead never got emotional by any happenings until it was about his target of affection. In other words, he would get ruthless, pretty, pretty ruthless, when anyone ever presented as a threat to his relationship with main character. He clashed plenty of times with the Crown Prince at the beginning of the book, then slowly retreated to the background after realizing his childhood friend was serious about His Highness. Lots of readers pointed out how odd he waved the white flag so effortlessly considering he had vehemently expressed dislike towards the male lead. Everyone collectively chalked it out as plot hole, but what if…

No, you shouldn’t dwell further than that. Epecially right at this moment you witnessed with your own eyes two extremes of emotions on the man’s face. The intensely lustful heat and adoration following every movements of the heroine, the bloodlust and pure venom on his pupils when looking at the Prince. You vaguely had a gist of what was going on in his mind, and it wouldn’t bode well for you to stick your nose into that.

Funnily, all that jealousy for the main couple you felt earlier was fully replaced by pity and well wishes now. Perhaps staying as an extra wasn’t a bad thing after all.

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

How close do you think Kaveh and Alhaitham were back in the Akademiya times?

Hiya! Akademiya days haikaveh are so precious to me, so thank you for giving me an opportunity to ramble about them <3

Outside of the character stories detailing their argument, Alhaitham and kaveh’s initial friendship is most touched upon in-game in their current, informed knowledge of each other - when we first meet kaveh, alhaitham says that he knows kaveh extremely well, and kaveh describes the perceived flaws of alhaitham’s personality

there are a few mentions of their initial friendship during kaveh’s hangout where kaveh discusses first approaching alhaitham in the library, as well as them briefly discussing their joint thesis and the reason for its abandonment, and kaveh also mentions that over an undefined number of years, he and alhaitham have discussed, or ‘argued’, about kaveh’s philosophies

Also, their past friendship is mentioned in a parade of providence when alhaitham uses the language he and kaveh learnt together during this thesis in order to solely communicate with him, which creates an exclusive intimacy between the two

Outside of in-game information about their past closeness, alhaitham’s character stories outline their friendship, but only in reference to their joint project, where it’s explained that they fell out due to differing perspectives – which is similar to what he says to the traveller in kaveh’s hangout

Overall, other than describing kaveh as his ‘former friend’, alhaitham’s character stories omit any significant detail regarding their friendship, as well as omitting any detail after his graduation, other than moving into the house he and kaveh would have shared, and then how alhaitham met him once more when kaveh was bankrupt

Other than kaveh, there is no mention of alhaitham maintaining or even forming any other friendships in his time at the akademiya – and this is highlighted in his character story where it states that due to his detachment from others, he only partook in one joint project in his student life, and that was with kaveh, with kaveh leaving it up to alhaitham to decide the topic for their project

Alhaitham shares the same values as kaveh when it comes to their opposing philosophies being a strength, as the topic he picks harmonises their mirroring fields of interest. Additionally, this is highlighted in his character stories where he believes he and kaveh are mirrors of each other, and that this is essential in achieving a ‘perfected’ vision. It’s only when personal issues arise that this harmony is threatened, and that it is ‘personality’ issues, rather than philosophical issues which is the basis for their falling out

the surfacing of their issues stems from kaveh’s desire to help the others involved in their project at the cost of his efforts - this is more speculatory, but as kaveh left it with alhaitham to decide the topic, it could be that a group project wasn’t what alhaitham had in mind when agreeing to collaborate with kaveh.

in alhaitham’s character stories, there’s no mention of other scholars involved in the project, and only kaveh is mentioned as someone that alhaitham would willingly involve himself with in a joint project. For me, it seems that alhaitham initially agreed to work with kaveh, and kaveh alone, only for people to join over time, encouraged by kaveh.

(although kaveh’s character stories state that he realises that he and alhaitham handle social situations differently, he believes their differences aren’t altogether a bad thing

I think this is so interesting because when working on the group project with others there’s this heavy implication that, before this, alhaitham and kaveh were distant from other people when spending time together, as this project seems to be the first time that they’re confronted with the influence of others to such an extent, as this becomes the catalyst for voicing their concerns/issues with the way the other deals with people)

Alhaitham choosing to work on a project with someone when he never did so previously, and never does so afterwards, highlights kaveh as an anomaly for alhaitham, and shows that the two must have been very close at the time, especially with the knowledge that people in sumeru undertake research projects to form an academic family

This is also relevant in considering the theme of ‘home’ both for kaveh and alhaitham, which is most explicitly seen in kaveh’s character stories, where we learn the origin and the end of their friendship, as well as the few key details that indicates how close the two were

We can infer that alhaitham fills an integral role in kaveh’s life as he is written to have met alhaitham immediately or soon after his mother left for Fontaine, leaving him alone, and without family, in sumeru – just as alhaitham joins the akademiya after the passing of his grandmother, where he is then approached by kaveh. this implies that they fill similar, familial roles in the other’s life

Overall, alhaitham was disinclined to interact with others outside of kaveh, and his exception of kaveh when it comes to a group project shows how much value he placed in his bond with kaveh, a bond which is prioritised by alhaitham throughout their falling out, and to the present day

It isn’t certain how long alhaitham and kaveh were friends for after meeting, only that it was enough time for kaveh to form the opinion of alhaitham being his ‘best’ friend, and for them to decide to undertake a thesis together (which, as discussed, and is something I refuse to get over, can be equitable to forming an academic family, relating to the roles they have respectively taken in each other’s lives)

kaveh considered alhaitham as an ‘intelligent corroborator’ at the beginning of their joint project, which he considered to be rare, and after their falling out due to differences, kaveh believed himself to have been thinking wishfully about their compatibility

Their argument informs us how much the two actually know each other, in that alhaitham is thoroughly aware of kaveh’s father’s passing (which, according to kaveh’s hangout, wasn’t uncommon for students to know of as he recalls feeling judged because of this)

however, the difference lies in that of personal admission. Alhaitham is aware of the context of kaveh’s altruism in relation to his grief, something which other people, such as Layla, can only guess at

Whilst it isn’t certain whether kaveh informed alhaitham of any guilt he felt previously, as this supposed weaponisation of said guilt is the cause of kaveh ending their friendship, judging from kaveh’s reaction to alhaitham’s usage of this knowledge, being that of feeling ‘cut to quick’, kaveh essentially feels betrayed of the trust he placed in alhaitham - considering their implied and explicit past closeness (with kaveh's voice line stating that if he and alhaitham were as close as they used to be, he wouldn't hesitate in showing gratitude for alhaitham helping him) and their definitive informed knowledge of each other, I think it’s very likely that they did talk about these things, or enough for alhaitham to form his own understanding of kaveh’s situation

Additionally, Alhaitham is aware of kaveh’s lack of immediate familial attachments, comparing them to be similar in this sense, even though kaveh’s mother is alive and living in Fontaine, which indicates that alhaitham is aware of their lack of correspondence, and in turn kaveh’s deliberate distance from his mother

Although kaveh is described as being popular and having many friends amongst his classmates, these classmates are not mentioned by name or explored, either in his hangout or his character stories. Kaveh’s bond with alhaitham is the main focus of his character stories in comparison to the nameless friends of kaveh’s school days and post-graduation; since alhaitham can truly see through kaveh, this appears to be a bond to favour, regardless of all the unpleasantries this can bring from being innately known – encapsulated in kaveh piecing back together the thesis cover that he tore up, which signalled the end of his and alhaitham’s friendship

Beyond their initial meeting in the house of daena, and kaveh coming to talk to alhaitham which instigated their friendship, there aren’t many details as to what their original friendship looked like (only that kaveh, at first, believed them to be on the same wavelength, and to have a ‘completed’ view, only to realise that although their viewpoints differed, this wasn’t a negative, and actually strengthened their friendship), but there are a few specific anecdotes of what the two did/experienced together during their initial friendship which I thought would be fun to explore

alhaitham remembers that kaveh used to annotate books in the house of daena and even earnt himself a nickname, which he references to fluster kaveh, only for the traveller to have no clue what this refers to. I think this is a really nice detail, as it shows the history between the two, and that they both hold a deep understanding of each other outside of the traveller’s knowledge 

The other anecdote is that alongside the two learning the script from king deshret’s civilisation together (or if alhaitham knew it beforehand and helped kaveh in familiarising himself, it isn’t clear), alhaitham also read kaveh’s favourite books pertaining to ancient architecture for their thesis, and recorded his own notes, alongside kaveh’s. it’s an intimate detail I think that kaveh recognises alhaitham’s handwriting, which I presume is something that is reciprocal <3

Another thing of interest in kaveh’s character stories is an excerpt of an essay in his old sketchbook, which refers to the individual’s beliefs being prioritised over the backing of the collective, which resonates with alhaitham’s philosophies in his character stories when asserting the importance of the individual over the collective

additionally, kaveh's essay also outlines that the purpose of existence is not to solely pursue knowledge, and that it lies in people, with knowledge existing regardless of if it being understood by people - aligning with alhaitham’s character stories of knowledge not being the final destination of humankind, and that it exists externally, outside of human pursuit, in the logic of the natural world

This highlights that despite their key differences, their views can ultimately find a middle ground, which also contextualises the original founding of their friendship, and why kaveh believed that their united viewpoints were ‘complete’ before realising their fundamental differences

Overall, in their student days, i'd say that alhaitham and kaveh were each other’s prioritised bond, fulfilling roles of intellectual corroborators, mirror opposites, best friends, and family <///3 (i would love to get some snapshots into their lives as students, like the details we get about tighnari and cyno’s student days together recent events)