#kn8 angst

[inzaynety]

➢ summary: there weren’t many people on the defense force that chose to use blades instead of guns. maybe that’s how you got so close in the first place. (little snippets of life as a defense force commander fighting kaiju and dating hoshina)

➢ content: hoshina x fem!reader, sfw & nsfw/suggestive

➢ notes: inspired by @narumi-gens agents of chaos series love that; i have a lot of hoshina and commander reader ideas in my notes app and thot why not put them all here 🫡

last updated: 7/7/2024

chapters (can be read as stand-alones or in the order below):

he’s a biter! (beginning)

investigation: start!

When visiting the Third Division, there’s never a shortage of questions and confusion about you. A few take it upon themselves to get to the bottom of it. (fluff, suggestive)

a little, jealousy

Too much staring and too many comments tick him off. He makes sure he’s the only one you look at. (smut)

part of the job

After using No. 10, Hoshina realizes one of the reasons behind his drive to fight. After listening, you realize the limits to your everything. (slight angst, hurt/comfort)

i’m the only 10 i see

Kaiju no. 10 doesn’t know what love is. (crack, fluff)

short lived

Even professionals aren’t immune. Even they fail to notice. (angst)

the woes of a father

Ogata Jugo never thought he’d be this kind of dad, giving life advice and trying to help meddle in someone’s love life. The thing is, he didn’t even have kids. (fluff, slight angst, pre-relationship)

warning: asshole!

Gen tried telling you to avoid this man at all costs–you didn’t listen. (crack, fluff, pre-relationship)

blades before grenades

Kaiju suck but using guns to kill them is suckier. (fluff, pre-relationship)

long memories

Back at your building behind closed doors, you miss each other more than you thought. (angst, hurt/comfort)

Have any questions about the relationship, other characters' reactions, etc.? Feel free to drop them in the inbox!

©inzaynety 2024

[shaisuki]

never let me go

PAIRING. HOSHINA SOSHIRO x CHUBBY! READER

CONTENT WARNINGS. angst + engineer! researcher! reader + orphan! reader + swordsmith! reader + brief flashbacks + slight spoilers + reader is obsessed with kaijus + childhood friends + insecurities + doubts + jealousy + breaking up + arranged marriage + eventual smut + fluff + talks of death + injuries+ blood + slight spoilers + body insecurities + lots of crying.

NOTES. a huge thanks to @ohikoti for helping me with this. giving me the pep talk to finish this one and for giving the time to watch the series after i express my desire to write for hoshina. more kaiju no. 8 content to come, since I desire to write for narumi and kafka.

SYNOPSIS. you made a few tough decisions in your life and one of them is to call off your engagement to soshiro even it breaks your heart and there's soshiro who won't accept the break up without proper explanation despite being away from each other. can unprecedented meetings still make a way to continue a once broken romance? was there even a romance in the first place?

gray clouds began to scatter around the area. covering the once shining bright sun and hoshina can hear the faint rumble of thunder from afar. a telltale sign that it's going to rain soon and soshiro frowns a bit. his lips in a thin line. he eyes the half eaten mont blanc in front of him. the steam rising from his cup of green tea and your favorite drink sits in front of him. it was supposedly to be a good day. considering it's his day off and yours and he's going to finally meet you once again but the weather won't allow it.

as if a weather would stop it. sunny or not as long he can spend time will you, it was fine. the vice captain of the third division sighs and then his senses is telling him that there is something bad going to happen. it settles in the pit of his gut and such warnings should not be ignored. he looks at the busy streets of tokyo. bystanders, students and salarymen walk in a normal pace. his brows furrow. is there a kaiju going to appear out of nowhere? did something bad happen to you and he hates himself for thinking of something like that. all of his worries melted when he sees you half-walking, half-running towards the cafe where he is. the dread slowly dissolves and was replaced by the same warmth he always feel when he's with you.

the bell chimes, a signal upon an arrival of a customer. he follows your every move and the way your eyes search for him in the cafe and he sees the gleam in your eyes filled with relief upon seeing him. a apologetic smile in your face when you slowly approach him in his table. sitting down, “thank you for waiting me, soshiro.” you said. smiling apologetically and hoshina's closed eyes cracked open a bit to show his crimson colored eyes.

your order arrived and was placed in front of you. the food look appetizing and was certainly a pleasant to eyes to see your favorite dessert. months cooped up in the laboratory doing research and projects for kaijus have you occupied all the time with a little to no time to yourself. you can't even savor the food you were eating and now that you're outside of the laboratory and feel the weather in your skin and the change of sceneries, it was nice for once although it hasn't been nice. how could it be when you look at the man in front of you being the happiest he can while you can't bring to say the words you wanted. the words you didn't want to say but is needed.

one thing hoshina have prided in is that he can almost read everyone like an open book and you are no exception to this. you have been so always easy to read and he was grateful for it that he was able to know and adore all your little quirks. starting from how your face lights up upon tasting upon the first bite of a food that is delicious. therefore creating a chain link reaction of you happy that will stay for the rest of the day and soshiro can look at you without getting tired.

it was a pure bliss to see you like that. a reminder that you are still the same person he loved many years ago and now. despite the circumstances that this relationship was just an arranged marriage.

today, with you sitting in front of him. he didn't need to read you. it was blatantly obvious that you were feeling under the weather or more than that. you've been mindlessly stirring your drink with the straw and the ice starting to melt. you didn't even took a bite of the food. lost in your thoughts that you didn't hear him call your name until he clears his throat. “are you okay, (y/n)?” and soshira regretted that he have to ask you that question cause he wasn't prepared to hear you say the next works when you broke out in your trance.

“i'm calling off the engagement.”

is what you said without hesitation. soshiro's smile slowly left in his lips and his closed eyes that was open since your arrival. his carmine red eyes glimmering with intensity and you swore you have seen them at the times where he's serious and deadly. you almost swallow nervously. knowing how intense soshiro can be at times.

“what's the reason for the sudden decision, (y/n)?” he asked you. bewildered at the sudden decision. you swallowed the lump in your throat before replying. “it's just i don't see any future in this union and it's not like we wanted it.” you say to him without blinking. forcing a smile and looking straight to his eyes to show that you are serious and hoped he won't catch you lying under your teeth.

vivid is the day you remember the matchmakers in the clan of his and yours decided that you and soshiro shall wed for the next years to come after soshiro joined the defense forces. it was a great match they say but to you it's nonsense. it will be bound of tradition and duty and you don't want soshiro to be tied to you.

you were an orphan. having lost your whole family from a kaiju attack and the head of the clan that have long ties with the hoshina clan came in the picture to save you. gave you shelter and a home for you to call. treated you as their daughter and with the hoshina clan came of a long history of slaying kaijus. samurais they are and they weren't if not without their swords and the clan who took you were the swordsmiths of the hoshina clan.

showing your gratitude to the people who took you, you learned to hold the hammer. holding mastery over steel and fire. crafting the sharpest of blades and later on was the career path you took at the neutralization bureau as the engineer of anti-kaiju weapons and a researcher.

if it wasn't for soshiro you wouldn't be at that kind of stuff. your friend since he found you watching him train with his bamboo sword in their backyard. your dear soshiro that you would later love.

it's for the best. you decided of it for a long time and you don't want to hurt yourself for being tied to soshiro. it pains you so much that despite the support you have given him, all the years others have invalidated him including his father. undermining his talents as a swordsman and that broke your heart to see soshiro being brought down by their ugly words.

then you received the news, soshiro got accepted at the third division. not as a troop member but the vice-captain of third division standing behind captain ashiro. the news brought you joy but there's a dull ache in your heart. soshiro's being recognized for his talent, that brought a smile to your face and he was able to show his talents. feats after feats of defeating kaijus. left and right victories. the people recognizing him as the vice-captain and his talents.

the television plays their latest victory. successfully annihilating another kaiju who decided to surface and wreck havoc at the city. there you hear the newscaster commentating that it was another accomplishment for the third division, lead by none the other captain ashiro and your vice-captain fiance. the news bringing a smile to your face that you were confused why the ink in your papers with the prototypes you have created were starting to bleed. surrounding the areas and the important details started to distort, only to realize that you were crying. the tears smudging the once clear print of your blueprints.

since when did you have become so emotional over such things? was it soshiro's achievements that you started to be like this? or is it realizing that you no longer served a purpose to be in soshiro's life aside from being his fiancee?

you didn't even realize the rift with your relationship with soshiro have gotten worst since he was transferred in the third division and your workload from extensive researches and planning of developing weapons. communication is no longer an easy feat to do. it was dragging. there were no calls in the night and even a simple text message is proven to be tasking. you understand that at this profession, sacrifices are made and that's what you and soshiro decided. what you decided.

the air felt heavy and soshiro feels like he needed a respirator to help him breath. soshiro have always know what to say but he remains silent. trying to find the right words to say. “you didn't see a future in us. is that right?” he began. soshiro's eyes began to search for any hidden truths in your face but he finds nothing. you nodded at his question. “this is sudden like i have said earlier. have you been feeling this way for a long time?” he asks you. there's a hint of pained sound in his voice and it kills you to hear him that. it was for the best you convinced yourself.

“i do.” you look at him straight in the eyes once again to see that you were dead serious about it. hoshina's gaze softens at you. “would it be selfish of me to say i wanted this relationship to work even it was an arranged one?” hoshina clenched his fist in a tight manner. “it's not, soshiro. i don't want us to waste time for a union and it's not the right time. we have our priorities.” his expression pained you and it wasn't like for him to be this vulnerable to you.

“priorities. was our priorities that different that you are willing to throw this away, (y/n)? i thought we decided that no matter where we are, we will work together. what happened to that?” his voice solemn. it took you the control to not cry in front of him. you both did talked about that but it was different.

soshiro have a purpose in his life now with captain ashiro and you're no longer needed in the picture. that's what you needed and it won't hurt no more. it would be difficult but you were tougher than what you're made of and what's a heartbreak if you can't survive it.

“it's for the best.” is what you said to yourself after leaving the cafe shortly after breaking it up with him. you don't know if you can still retain the passive expression if you stayed longer. you the gray clouds have turned into more of a darker shade and rain started pouring over the city along with your tears.

hoshina have never felt more empty. it was like you took all the colors in his life and left him as a blank canvass. the sweet taste of the caramel from his mont blanc starts to feel bitter in his tongue. the fox-eyed vice captain recalls the conversation he had with you earlier. you seem too eager to break the engagement. have he done something wrong to make you feel that way or was it a sudden change in your heart that you don't want him anymore? there's a thousand questions running in his mind and he can't answer even a single one of them and it wasn't for him to be like this. rain have started to pour outside and the temperature drops.

he can't accept that you were breaking up with him and whatever reason you have, he was going to find out even you just told him earlier. this isn't over.

the neutralization bureau never sleeps. engineers and scientist alike researches various ways to combat kaijus and using their deceased bodies as weapons. tonight, it wasn't going to be any different. you're going to work until you passed out. surprisingly you felt numb after the earlier dilemma. calm even, considering you've bawled your eyes out. pathetic for an adult like you who have called off an engagement.

before you can drown out in the large stack of blueprints needing revision from you. the intercom announced that you were needed at one of the top floors where the director of the department is located. sighing, you immediately made your way.

“have you enlisted in the defense forces?” you blinked a few times before you understand the question asked by the director of the bureau.

“u-ugh, yes sir.” you answer. finding the question rather odd cause you were a engineer and you don't see any relevance of why your director was asking you.

“how long were you in there?”

“a few months, sir. before i requested to transfer here.” he nods. you follow his movements and noticed that on his table is your file. “if i may ask sir, what's the relevance of these inquiries?”

the director hands you a document and you scanned it momentarily. it's from the jakfd. “the amount of officers enrolling have decreased significantly these past years and the amount of kaiju attacks have increased.” he began. “my point is you're a officer wasting your talents in these laboratories.”

“i appreciate it, sir but the reason why am i here is because my skills are best suited here than me being in the front lines and i'm not exactly soldier material, sir.” it always hurts when you say the truth and lying also. before being an engineer at the izumo tech, you were a officer having passed the written and physical exams. you have always known that you are going to be stuck as a sore thumb when you have joined the tanks. women in the defense forces were slim, petite, slender and any definition of being skinny in the dictionary whereas you were fat. it sticks out in everywhere and sometimes you were the center of backhanded compliments.

the defense force isn't just for you and besides you were happier here. “think about it for the meantime. the defense force needs you more than us.” the director dismisses you before you can say anything to oppose him and when just you're about to step outside of his office you heard him say it. “have some faith in yourself.”

the next week after that, you were transferred in the division one. as an officer/researcher. it won't be in vain in joining the defense force once again. you will be on the field with your expertise. you will use the missions as your research field and you were fine with the arrangement. except for captain narumi who didn't hold much about you. straight up calling you useless in the defense force not until you have beaten him on his own game. his field of expertise of course. that shut him up and he treated you as his equal since then.

“shinonome-san, where are you taking me?” you said helplessly as one of the platoon leaders, shinonome drags you from your workshop where you used to hole yourself up. “to the field. the third division is here and captain narumi is looking for you.” she explained coolly. you gulped when you hear the third division is going to be present at the fields. it means it's either captain ashiro or your ex-fiance will be there and you hoped that it will be the former and you were proven wrong as you hear bickering.

“hoshina! what the hell you think you're doing here!?” captain narumi's voice echoed. menacing it is and annoyed from the sound of it. you hear another voice. “oho, narumi. didn't see you there.” the vice-captain says in a mocking tone and that seems to spur captain narumi in his foul mood at the vice-captain of the third division. “of course you didn't, you fox-eyed bastard!” he retaliates and before hoshina can piss him more with some remark, his eyes cracks open upon seeing you being dragged by a platoon leader.

“captain, (y/n)'s here.” shinonome informs him and it looks like a switch have been flipped when narumi sees you. “here's the new recruit.” he mutters and it took a whole of control for hoshina to not punch the living daylights out of narumi from how close he was to you and what a surprise to see you here in a another division and he wishes you were in the third division so he can keep an eye for you.

it didn't help that narumi is openly flirting with you. his arm draped around your shoulder and the other is holding your hand to inspect it. “you're researching those kaijus again.” narumi comments. “it's my job and i've been doing research about them.” you mutter softly and soshiro melts at what he heard. always the one who obsessed upon those creatures and he find it endearing except for the closeness you're having with that lazy bastard.

a vein popped in soshiro's and it was close to bursting if narumi was doing it intentionally when he intertwined his hands to yours. eliciting a shocked reaction from you. finding the situation awkward and inappropriate you quickly pulled your hand from his and stuffing it in the pockets of your uniform. dismissing yourself you went away from them. clearly embarrassed. he closes his eyes and went back to face narumi and his rowdy members.

soshiro wanders through the halls of one of the compounds of the ariake base. he couldn't miss a night without training his skills and he was directed to a training room. he finds one of the library doors is open and it wasn't any different at the third division for someone to stay late at night. he just plans to walk by and he would be in the training room but to his surprise when he took a peek at the library, he sees you, sleeping. your laptop open and various of books are stacked in the table where you rest.

hoshina unzips his jacket to cover you. he can get it to you for later after he finished his training and maybe he can take you to your room or his if you remained asleep. just as he was to drape his jacket around you. you stirred in your sleep. slowly waking up and muttering something incoherent.

“soshiro?” you mumbled. raising your head from where it rested moments ago. yawning, you stretched your arms and you were now fully awake.

the vice-captain glances at your laptop and he noticed you were creating a new type of weapon, not just any weapon. a dual blade sword. similar to the one he uses. “oh.” you gasp. closing the laptop in a speed that it looks like you have been caught watching inappropriate. “i assume it's for me.” he started and you nodded in reply. “always have been when it comes to swords.” you confessed. gathering the papers you have been scribbling with notes. soshiro interrupted you. “we need to talk.”

“can we have it tomorrow?”

“no. you're avoiding me.”

“i'm not.”

“yes, you are and you're not being good at it.”

“soshiro, it's late.” you reason but it was possible to convince him. “you can go after we have this conversation.”

“what do you need to know?”

“why did you call off our engagement?”

you sigh, “i already told you about it, soshiro.” hoshina refuses to accept it. “it's not an explanation and suddenly you're here in the first division.”

“they wanted me back in the defense force even though i didn't wanted it but it's the only way.”

“the way of what?”

“can you stop asking me questions!?” you half screamed, whispered. irritated at his questions and it wasn't like for soshiro to be like this. “i won't stop until i know the reason why my fiancee suddenly departed her previous job and to find you here.”

“i'm not your fiancee anymore. i broke it off and it's none of your business.” you hissed. grabbing your laptop to get away from him but he stopped you from doing so. “answer me, (y/n).” he orders you. trapping your soft jaw in his hand and forcing you to look at his eyes. you hated yourself from how weak you turn to when met with his eyes.

“it's the only way i can be of use.” you began to sob. your tears trickling down your cheeks. “i was happy when you found your place at captain ashiro's side. i thought that it was fine but the moment you started there, the distant you have become. i understand it. i can't be selfish. i don't want to hinder you when you're there in the front lines looking so contented, fulfilled.”

it never felt so good to say the words you've been bottling away but the guilt that followed it was unbearable. you never sounded so selfish and greedy but it was the truth. “why you didn't tell me that you have been feeling this way for so long, (y/n)? i thought we promised that were going to be honest to each other.” his grip loosened. cupping your face in his hand. he didn't know you were feeling those ugly emotions. “i'm just me. your fiancé. your fiancé from a arranged marriage. not what you wanted and not what you needed. it's not my place to tell you things, soshiro.”

soshiro leans down. wiping the tears in your face. “in arranged marriages...” he began. “it serves a purpose. our duty to our families. honoring the tradition. and our union fulfills it all. the day they announced our engagement, i am happy it was you that i am engaged to. i know our union is arranged but please don't treat it as one that you would put your feelings aside for mine. you're more than my fiancee. you're everything that i could ever want and need. you're mine.” he says before kissing your forehead and soshiro thought that it's been so long since he had done this. “and i'm sorry that i hurt you. i won't forgive myself for that.”

“don't say that, soshiro.” you softly mutter. daring to meet his dark red eyes with your own. you see your reflection in his eyes. a being who have taken the form of insecurity. an ugly entity who pushed people for her own selfishness and soshiro can see you for what you really are.

he stays in the same position before you stopped him what he's currently doing to you. “it's late. i believe we have smoothed things over.” you say and hoshina allowed you to stand up. letting you continue what you were about to do earlier before you have talked about it.

the paper's thin and despite the countless of documents you've handled. your finger getting cut by the sharp edge of a paper is mostly likely to happen and it sure did. a sharp pain travels throughout your body, making you wince as blood surfaces up through the split skin.

the distress brought the younger hoshina sibling to your side. holding your hand and inspecting the wound in your finger. there's nothing serious about it except for the crimson color of your blood oozing at the pad of your finger. “it's nothing —”

a silent gasp slips past your lips. without warning soshiro grasps your finger before taking a lick. the sensation stinging if it wasn't for the comfort of soshiro's tongue lapping at your blood. it didn't help that you were in a compromised position with him. it offered no comfort of escape. the cold table with your belongings and soshiro have blocked your way.

it's a sight to burn in his memory at this very moment. watch your flustered expression and the way you tensed up from his ministration. your blood it tastes like iron. the same as his own with the aftertaste of rust. his canine-like tooth nibbles on the soft flesh of your finger while his tongue swirls around your digit.

whatever emotions you were having earlier didn't compare to this. hoshina's sultry gaze emitting from those eyes staring at you and observing every move you partake. you find it difficult to avoid his gaze. leaving you flustered and even in the dimness of the room, you can make every muscle of his straining in that black compression shirt of his. a heat of desire pooling in the pit of your stomach spreading throughout your body.

cold. your skin is cold against his warmer ones and he's surprised that you weren't even shivering in the coldness of the room. caressing the roundness of your cheek with his thumb. tracing the outline of your lips and feel the softness of it.

you were the image of what you are and this closeness will be the end of his. every fiber of his being screaming to just kiss you and that's what he did. letting instincts to take over. he didn't kiss you out of the blue. just brushed his lips to yours. the same he did many nights ago under the roof of his house away from the eyes of the others. the night where your engagement to his announced.

tender and slow when he pressed his own to yours. “soshiro, no.” you said when he broke the kiss and to only to do it again. you hold his wrist to stop him from going further but your actions betray you too. your lips following his and soshiro smirks at this but decided not to tease you. “we're nothing anymore. i broke up with you...” explaining the circumstances and it's not right to be this close to him. not when you two are no longer acquainted with each other. you both are merely colleagues. “i didn't agree with it though, we're still engaged unless you have feelings for a another man.” he murmurs to your lips. his eyes turning into more of a warning. showing such intensity and he maybe result in your murder if you find yourself falling for a man that is not him.

he kisses you again. starting in a slow manner and hoshina can hear the gasps and the silent whines leaving your lips. muffled in his own. his fingers find the plushness of your skin under your shirt. rubbing the skin with his fingers. the coarseness of his calloused hands are a welcome sensation to your skin. whereas it provided security and warmth spreading throughout your whole body.

there aren't any words to speak when both of your mouths are occupied on the feeling of each other.

“soshiro...” he hears you say his name and he smiles at you. showing his canines and he find the soft flesh of your buttocks. grabbing it to raise your upper body and therefore placing you in the table.

his ruby-colored eyes seems to burn more with color when looking at you. his strong, smart girl. always the one who sets aside her feelings for others. the woman of his. forging and engineering weapons for him. he likes to think that it's always for him. your hands gains the familiar thickness of callous but retains the softness he's familiar with. endearingly adorable. his (y/n). his (y/n) that he have from a arranged union. his (y/n) that he loves and hoshina wouldn't admit that he have the shortcomings when it comes to you and it's been grave since you have told him.

a tug on his shirt and hoshina hasn't been able to take his eyes off you for more than a second. your loose white shirt and the shorts you're wearing have been growing on him. desperate to take it off but he's not an animal to completely strip you off with the cold temperature dropping.

it's been so long since you both have been intimate and hoshina hasn't been doing so well after it. always thinking the reason of the separation and he's one to be blamed for it.

he pulls you closer. his hand on the small of your back until it descended in the waistband of your short to tug it and take it away. leaving you bare for him to see. he have pried your thighs open and slotted his body between them. his cock twitching inside of his pants and in desperate need of relief by your fat pussy.

soshiro groans. he already have discarded his pants and the tip of his cock rubs between the slit of your pussy. making your back arch and without warning, he swiftly enters the hole of your pussy with his cock. making you cry out and hug him. pulling him closer to you. “it won't be long, baby. i just need you to cum for me.” is what he said. planting his palm to the cold surface of the table. bucking his hips and beginning to thrust. starting as gentle and tender as he started to get impatient.

you're too good wrapped around him and it wasn't good that you're chanting his name. “more, soshiro. more...” your hips meeting his thrusts and even if you deny him that you two aren't no more, it's evident that your body misses him just like you do and he's also in the same position as you minus the denial. he won't let you go.

soshiro glance at the door still open and how fortunate for someone to walk on you both and see how good he's fucking you. still he dislike where he's making love to you. it should be on his private quarters but certain matters didn't apply for it.

you continue to call his name. trying to quiet down but it's hard to ignore how his cock rubs all over and hitting your sweet spots that it's already making your legs quake with need for release and the familiar know getting tighter in your abdomen. he seems to notice not cause he's now holding your plush waist to get deeper, faster.

he sees the way your eyes flutter and your lips parted. he wasted no time crashing his lips into yours. engulfing it with such need that it's bruising and his tongue is making territory inside your mouth. he just wanted to kiss you. he always liked kissing you and he wants it to continue until you're both cumming.

moaning in the kiss, soshiro knows you're not going to last and he is too. a low growl sound comes from his throat when he feels you have cummed around his cock and he buries his cock to the hilt before spilling his load inside you. making sure that there aren't a drop wasted and you have took them well like you always have.

he was still kissing you and you retuning the gesture until your highs have come down. he hears you hiss as he pulls his softening cock. after cleaning himself and you. he notices how your eyes are getting droopy. he must have tire you out in which he have no qualms for. he scoops you in his arms before bringing you to his personal quarters. he kisses your forehead and you hear him say something but you're too tired to know it and argue with him so you sleep on the arms of the man you feel safest the most.

when you wake up, you weren't in your bed. a heavy arm is flung into you. wrapped around your waist with a grip that have no intention of letting you go. then you notice a new weight on your finger. it's a ring. you gently turned around without waking him up and laid still. “no need for it, soshiro.” you softly mutter to his still sleeping figure.

however you appreciated the gesture. it was like he's telling you that he's not ever to going to let you go and that's enough for you.

[ryescapades]

❝ [ coolest brother ever! ] ╰┈➤ of the same thread (kaiju no. 8)

— iv. he will always be your number 1, even in life and death.

genre/warning: narumi gen x lil sis!reader, bf!hoshina, angst, death, mention of gore and blood

a/n: uuhhhhh yea .. this is my first time writing pure angst actually so lmk what u think !

1.7k wc | mini series masterlist

it all happened in just mere seconds.

it was just another neutralisation mission, you were guarding the perimeter surrounding the evacuation area, taking down any kaiju trying to trespass. it was at a wrong time, at the wrong place; the group of young kids wasn't supposed to be this far out of the area when the officers had declared all homes had been emptied.

maybe it was the officers' carelessness, or maybe it was your own, but when you and a few others from your platoon, all fatigued and weary in your overly heated suits with no more reinforced shields from the earlier battle, raced towards the crying sound, it was almost too late to save them from the kaiju hovering over their small trembling bodies, trapped between the monster and a brick wall of a cafe next to an alley.

however, the events happening after that seemed to be lost on everyone. this time it was really your fault, your fault for not noticing there was another kaiju hiding, waiting in the dark even though you were the one standing closest to the alley. you should've picked up on its presence sooner.

the monster burst out of the wrecked building adjacent to the cafe, concretes flying past you as it immediately bolted towards its nearest prey; one of the children.

your suit had overheated one too many times before but with one last push to get your combat power surging, you dash forward to the space between the kid and the yoju, ignoring the shouts and screams around you.

the next thing you knew, agonizing pain exploded on your side.

∘₊✧─────────────✧₊∘

the officers knew better than to intervene. there was an aura. it was uncomfortable, oppressive. it enveloped the very figure of japan's top fighter as he spoke into the earpiece, an expression of pure murder marring his youthful face.

"what the fuck did you just say?" narumi seethed quietly into his earpiece, but he might as well be yelling from how the command seemed to bellow across the communication device. "t-the evacuation center, sir! there was an emergency and y-your sister—"

he didn't need to hear more. no less than a second later he was already moving, cursing every damn thing to the deepest pits of hell when he realized the evacuation center was on the opposite side of the whole neutralization area, which mean his assigned battlefield was the furthest from yours.

his heart thundered against his ribcage. please be safe, please be safe, please be fucking safe—

it took some good fifteen minutes, fifteen minutes too long when he finally arrived at your post. the organ thumping in his chest dropped at the sight that greeted him, and he prayed to every god up there that your very own was still beating.

narumi sprinted towards where you were laying limp in hoshina's arms, pushing away the other officers standing nearby. sensing the incoming figure, hoshina gently laid you down and soon enough, your brother had you in his own embrace.

it was cold. your body felt cold, but there was also a certain warmth lingering on your skin. oh, you were bleeding. crimson liquid slowly dripped down from your mouth, your temple, the scrapes, the bruises and your side. god, your side.

how bad was the injury? you felt like you were run over by a freaking dump truck over and over and over again. another rush of blinding pain had your lips giving out a whimper, your eyelids heavy when a familiar face greeted you.

"n-nii chan..?"

narumi almost bawled at how weak and croaky your voice was. he gently adjusted your body in his hold, tenderly stroking your matted hair. "it's me, kiddo. how are you holding up? you good?" he murmured, face hardening when he saw the gaping hole on your side, all torn flesh and blood.

he knew fully well 'good' wasn't the word to describe your condition right now but fuck if he cared about his wordings, he was about to go crazy here. ain't no way he's losing you to some goddamn pathetic kaiju.

against both your wishes, more blood seemed to pour out from the poor excuse of a makeshift bandage around your side, causing you two to swear simultaneously. "s-shit, that hurts—" you weakly gasped out, the corners of your eyes pricking with tears.

"where the hell are the medics?!" narumi barked to those around him. "they're on the way, captain. we're short on hands in every sector. we're doing our best here," hoshina explained, though the sorrowness radiating from his body and his clenched fists betrayed his firm tone.

narumi was about to snap when a frail hand grabbed at the collar of his suit. "please don't get angry at them, nii-chan. they're doing their job as they should," you shakily said before erupting in a fit of wet coughs.

your brother gritted his teeth and pressed down harder on your wound, the growing red color nearly sent him into hysteria. you were losing too much blood, too fatally wounded that the kaiju tissues in the combat suit could only do so much. "don't strain yourself, y/n. you're gonna get worse,"

"it's still gonna get bad no matter what—"

at this point, narumi was pleading, his voice breaking at the end of his sentence. "don't say that. you're gonna make it, kiddo. i know you will," he grunted, not knowing whether he was convincing you or himself.

who was he kidding? maybe he was convincing the ghosts ready to take his precious little sister from him instead.

your breaths trembled the same way your hand shook while reaching to hold onto his own, your fluttering, hazy eyes fondly watching him as the blood and sweat rolled down his face.

"hey... hey. gen," you managed to call, gaining your brother's darting attention. the kaiju irises burning so deeply into yours, carving the familiar magenta hues in your mind for one last time. "you're gonna be fine. you're my brother, no?" you whispered.

"what the hell are you talking about, you brat? stay awake. you owe me those gundom figurines, remember?" he shakily said, gripping on your hand so tight as if his own life depended on it. it did, it has always been. the warmth of your hand in his, that was his absolute lifeline.

everything was fading, you couldn't hear what the others were saying anymore, the pain on your side was almost numb to the point you felt like you were floating.

there was fear in your heart, but there was also a sense peace. at least you've done your job. you were glad you got to save the children, and your comrades who were fighting alongside you were alive and well.

your voice cracked, choking slightly as clumps of blood stuck to your throat when you chuckled in a daze. "i do, don't i? but you'll manage. you're amazing, after all—"

"y/n, y/n! hey, open your eyes! no, no, no, Y/N!"

"you know, gen... you really are the coolest brother i could ever ask for,"

narumi's heartbeat spiked up, his mind going into overdrive as he listened as your voice died down. as he watched your eyes losing the spark they once held. as he noticed your chest had stopped rising and falling. as he felt your hand slowly falling from his hold. as he realized you will never wake up to see the sunrise again, to see him again.

narumi gen has never cried before. but for you, he felt like his eyes could bleed even worse than what his kaiju retina could ever. before he realized it, his cheeks were wet, and not just from the sweat. tears streamed down his face, his head bowed down to rest against the chestplate of your suit, trying to find any semblance of a movement from your body. a heartbeat, a twitch, anything.

alas, he knew better than to wish for the dead.

standing just beside the two siblings, hoshina's jaw tightened as he watched your brother slowly let go of your now dead, lifeless body. he’d said his piece when he last held you, but that didn’t mean he had fully accepted your fate. his own pulse was slow, as if the blood in his veins was reluctant to even continue pumping.

how could it? when the sole reason for his heart to be alive in the first place was not there anymore. hoshina's heart used to beat for you. and now you're... gone.

with his mind half absent, the swordsman took quite a while to register that he was suddenly yanked forward, the front of his suit now tightly gripped in narumi's fist, the latter seething in pure malice.

"your post was closer to hers. you could've saved her. what were you doing, you bastard?!" the captain snarled, fury dripping in every roll of his tongue. "answer me, hoshina. you were supposed to be there with her. protecting her!" his name was uttered with such venom that he just snapped, "ya think i didn't know that? ya think i didn't blame myself for reachin' here so late, thinking i should've been the one to die instead?!" hoshina growled back at him.

ashiro, who had just arrived at the scene, darted her eyes sadly between the two men. she stared at your body with a heavy heart, but then something glinting in the light caught her attention. bending down, she realized it was a small pocket watch and inside it sat a crumpled piece of paper; it was a photo of a younger version of you and your brother, both happy and smiling.

"narumi," ashiro called out, causing the man in question to snap his head towards her. she wordlessly handed the pocket watch to him, taking note of the recognition in his eyes before they went back to that somber gaze.

with a downturned and lowered face, narumi shoved hoshina away and snatched the pocket watch before silently marching off, grabbing his weapon along the way.

both ashiro and hoshina pretended not to hear the reverberating slam of the bayonet in the far distance, echoing through the walls of the buildings around them like a deafening, broken lullaby.

'the coolest brother i could ever ask for', narumi almost laughed. what meaning did it hold when he couldn't even save you?

u died lol.

—

©🅁🅈🄴🅂🄲🄰🄿🄰🄳🄴🅂. do not steal, translate or repost my work anywhere else !

[nessgasm]

【We were too close to the stars】

=HOSHINA SOSHIRO

TW: ANGST,DEATH,SMOKING,HOSHINA CANT GET OVER YOUR DEATH. (Lmk if i missed anythin'!) +this is bad [ALSO, GN!READER]

Oh, how he missed you.

Everything, your scent, your warmness, and your kindness to him.

The feel of your touch still lingers in his memories, it was like a spring of flowers being held by your arms

Oh how he missed that feeling, your kisses, the way you laughed, and the way when you ran, he chased you.

It was not long ago after you had been reported dead to him, his heart was shattered by the news of you having

'Unknown' cirucumstances of death

"What, ya' got to be kiddin' me right?" I ask, voice cracking at the last three words i had spoke, denial had started to takes over me,i gripped my had and the other had gripped the telephone that was pointed to my right ear.

"Im so sorry vice president hoshina. But im afraid it is true." The woman says on the telephone.

A dull and pained feeling slowly filled me.

It was guilt that had filled me.

I gripped the white telephone tightly and say, "al...alright." i said, putting the telephone down to its place, shutting the telephone call down.

" I was too fuckin' late." I said, gripping both of my broad shoulders tightly, trying not to cry for your sake.

"Never cry again? For me?" They said to me smiling warmly infront of me.

It was my off-duty and we forced me to go to a carnival, they said it was for 'something.'

"Ya' sure, promise i can fufill that sugar!" I say, i held her hand and kissed Their cheek

They laughed at me, pulling my hand. Their features were blooming under the warm sun.

It was ethearal, heavenly even.

"Come on soshiro! Lets buy cotton candy!" They asked, looking at me with a wide smile.

"Oh, uh ya' sure!" I agree. They ran when i said 'sure.' Running to the cotton candy maker and buying it.

They got the pink one, and she gave me the blue one.

"Your gonna pay." They laughed mischiveously. "I dont mind" i laugh to her, flashing her my signature fanged smile.

Now there i was.

In the rooftop, smoking, i let out a puff of smoke as it spreads into the air, looking at the stars, it reminds me of how you shined when we first met.

Being the most lively partner i have ever met.

I huff the smoke once again, smilling at the sky.

'[Name.], it woulda' be [name] hoshina if i wasnt late.' I say in my mind, gripping the ciggar stick in my fingers.

"I told you to quit smoking didnt i?" They put their hands on their waist, looking at me with a dissapointed look.

"Well, well.. sorry then sugar. Im gonna' stop it, i promise ya'!" I say, agreeing to their words.

"Well you better." They say, taking the ciggar bud and throwing it on the ground.

"Hey!" I say, looking at them.

"Now now, lets go hommmmmmeee!" They pulled me by my hand once again.

"I didnt even stop, didnt i?" I say, laughing while still looking at the stars, hoping for an answer but there was none.

I put the ciggarette bud down, now gripping my shoulders, printing cresent marks onto my skin.

I spoke, tears threatening to fall once again, i try to hold it but it was no avail.

Tears started to drop onto my lap, it spilled and spilled as my eyes were getting sore.

I spoke brokenly while in the process of letting the tears fall.

"Im sorry i didnt protect you."

Im bad at writing angst, but it was worth a try😎‼️‼️‼️‼️

[szqnxi]

Unrequited

Reno Ichikawa x reader (angst)

It wasn't a secret to the whole force that you were Soshiro Hoshina's property, and his alone.

Reno wishes you weren't.

"You look troubled" Iharu said, setting his chopsticks down while looking at him. "Is something wrong?" he asked, getting the attention of the bickering Kafka and Shinomiya beside him.

Reno shook his head. "Everything is fine" he lied. "I was just thinking about what training I should do to increase my combat power" he said dismissibly not wanting to discuss what's going on in his mind. He was scared that he might accidentally say something he'd regret, especially since it involved you.

You were completely unaware of the feelings he had been suppressing about you. However, regardless of what he might say, he knew the outcome would remain the same. You saw him only as a friend, and that's all you would ever see him as.

He knew these feelings weren’t right, but damn, it was difficult to control himself. The way you looked, the tender smile you would give him whenever he did something good, the way you encouraged him with kind words before each mission, your loving personality - it was all too much for him to handle. He just couldn’t help how he felt about you.

He had been holding on to these feelings ever since he joined the defense force, but confessing to you is not an option. Not with you gushing about your silly little crush on the Vice Captain right in front of him. It was tormenting seeing the woman he desired secretly, wanting someone who is not him. And before he knew it, you had completely become captivated by Soshiro, and he's already too late.

Hoshina Soshiro, Vice Captain of the third division, and the defense force's strongest close-quarter combatant. Reno? Just another officer under his command.

He already knew the outcome. Yet, it hurts. He was not prepared to let you go. He felt like you should belong to him and only him. He should be the one you awaken to each morning, the one you confided in when you were troubled, the one who'd always be by your side. It was difficult for him to accept the fact that he would never be that person for you.

Perhaps given enough time, he could finally move on from these feelings. From his unreciprocated love for you. Perhaps.

"Earth to Reno" you tried to get his attention. He was so immersed in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed you had taken a seat at the table, right beside him, no less.

"Everything okay?" You asked, giving him a concerned look.

He quickly responded, repeating what he said to Iharu earlier "Everything is okay, y/n-san. I was just thinking about what training I should do to increase my combat power"

Reno flashed you a reassuring smile, desperately trying to hide his true thoughts. You laughed softly and playfully messed up his hair. "As usual, you’re so focused on getting stronger." You teased him. "You should try to rest once in a while, you know. It’s part of the process."

"I will, y/n-san" he responded, unable to resist the urge to lean closer to you, soaking in the warmth of your presence. He wished this moment would never end, as it was one of the few occasions where he could experience your gentle touch.

"Y/n, is that—" Kafka pointed at the hand you had resting on Reno’s head. "Oh, you mean this?" You let out a soft chuckle, and gleefully showed them the ring. The ring sat perfectly on your ring finger, it was a beautiful piece, adorned with numerous purple gemstones and intricate designs.

"Soshiro proposed last night. Pretty isn't it?" You said, a soft smile grazing your lips as you admire the ring on your finger.

"Oh my God! Really?! Tell me more" Kikoru squealed, asking you for more details about your engagement.

Reno's heart sank. He had always known this day would come, but he hadn't anticipated it would happen so quickly. Of course, he knew deep down that your relationship with Soshiro was serious, but all of the shred of hope he'd held onto, that maybe someday you and Soshiro would part ways, and he'd finally get his chance, that maybe you'll wake up and realize that it was him who you love all along and not Soshiro- it vanished in an instant. His hopes- shattered into millions of pieces.

"I’m happy for you, y/n" he muttered, the phrase felt bitter in his lips.

He was far from happy, but he couldn’t bring himself to ruin your happiness. But seeing you happy, even in the arms of another man, offered him a small comfort.

Deep down, he knew that his feelings for you were not something he could ever let go of.

They would remain with him until his very last breath.

------------------------

A/N: Got inspired by @justwinginglife's Like Magic fic. Sorry not sorry for the angst.

Might start writing more of kn8 fics (might) anyway, my request box is open so feel free to drop some requests!! /⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\

[readerforexiao]

Longing | 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ

⌗ Hoshina Soshiro x Reader | Angst | tw: blood w mild gore, death, events and context unclarified

⌗ “Sometimes, longing for what we’ve lost drives us to madness, and as we near insanity, we begin to question what is real and what is merely a figment of our imagination.”

The sky was immersed in a burnt orange hue as crimson droplets pattered against your cheeks and hands, relentless in their descent. A burning sensation was left in its wake, but a soul too focused on the silhouette that stood bare to notice.

His features were etched into your memories like the lingering effects of a nightmare persisting even after waking.

He stood beyond your reach. He was forever beyond your reach. But within a blink of an eye, he abruptly appeared closer until you could see the expression laid upon his face, glitched and unsettling.

The tips of his fangs grazed his bottom lip as his eyes bore into yours, wide and enchanting. The longing in your heart surged at his gaze, recognizing the one it had loved and yearned for so long, like a child beaming with excitement.

You clutched your shirt, willing your heart to calm down, to be cautious, to stay strong and wary. But it rebelled, crying out for him in silent tears.

"Your heart," He said, standing at arms length, his voice a haunting echo of once cherished memories.

And it sounded just like him, with that low timbre and subtle husk— a tone reserved solely for you. It sent a shiver down your spine, pulling you in even before you fully realized it because you wanted it to be true, wanted this lie to be him, the man you love.

You raised your head slowly, afraid to confirm what you already knew.

When your eyes met, it was like time folded in on itself, bringing the past rushing forward to meet the present.

There he was, just as you remembered, but with an air of something unspoken. In appearance, he was the man you remembered, the man you loved. But it was his eyes that gave him away. He was nothing but a remnant of Soshiro.

Your Soshiro.

He took a step closer, the space between you shrinking with every heartbeat. Your eyes closed for just a brief second when a sharp tug pulled at your chest, and you doubled over, blood rising to restrict your air flow.

Fear and confusion twisted your features as you looked down and saw a hand buried deep in your chest.

Your voice, strained and teetering on the edge of heartbreak, broke free, its cries crashing over you in relentless waves of agony.

"It calls to me," He claimed somewhat intrigued, as if the concept of a heart was lost in his understanding.

The subtle tilt of his head after he had spoken brought you to tears, his blank stare trailing to his hand as it vanished into your body. His face was marked by an emptiness, holding a look of almost innocent bewilderment. It was as if he was completely unaware of the gravity of the moment, his curiosity and detachment deepening the emotional impact.

Yet the only thing you could think of was that familiar, maddening tilt of his head, a habit so ingrained it seemed insignificant. It shattered you because it was a part of him, something so small and personal that you had only fully noticed out of your undying love for him.

This betrayal could never falter your devotion to him, not when you knew the man standing before you was but an empty shell of his true self.

You would call his name affectionately even as bile glogged your throat. You would hold his hand even if stained with your blood. You would cup his face and stare into his eyes no matter how vacant and distant they were, pressing your lips to his as if sin could be forgiven.

"Soshiro," You smilrf, tasting metal as blood dripped from the corners of your mouth.

"Soshiro" He repeated robotically, fingers twitching as it gripped your pulsing heart and it may as well have given in right there.

He didn't even know his own name.

You clutched his forearm, but your legs gave way, collapsing into his chest with a scream as his hand tore through you further. His face, still vacant and distant, loomed above you, the incongruity between his unnerved demeanor and the torment he was inflicting only heightening your anguish.

You could feel his heartbeat against your cheek, steady but detached, while yours grew fainter.

"At least..." Clinging to your last moments, hoping he would hear your final words, "I... get to die in... your arms"

The life slowly drained from your body, darkness enveloping you, and your soul flickered on its last remnants.

It was peaceful— more than you could have ever asked for.

[ladybyakuya]

| I WISH YOU ROSES + KAIJU NUMBER 8.

+cw. —f!reader, smut headcanon + scenarios format, sort of exs to lovers, mature content, angst and hurt, comfort, alcohol consumption, established relationship

+syn.— making amends after the fight. who apologizes first? does it always end up with sex? or is he sleeping on the couch tonight?

+wc. —1.5k

+notes. — wanted it to be super smutty but ended up with angst instead. enjoy and scream in tags if you like it| redirect to blog navigation.

→ [ ICHIKAWA RENO ]

reno would stare at the screen of his mobile phone opening your message box yet not send a single text to you. he is a little stubborn. in the spur of the moment, he said, “maybe we had nothing, to begin with in the first place.” those were some heavy words. he won't disagree. even liquor isn't enough to drown his feelings about you. why do people drink to forget their love anyway? it's stupid. it's so stupid. he locks his phone and then buries his head in his hands murmuring, “god why can't I just call her?" the rusty fizzy flavor is threatening his throat again. his phone starts to vibrate and rings a little later making him jump a bit but his reflexes were quick enough not to get you a first full ring. “hello? babe? is that you?”

“just call her man.” Iharu drawls from the other side and disconnects the call even though he sits opposite him. Reno looks at him ungodly pissed until the prior speaks up, “don’t waste your anger on me, dude.” Reno’s phone rings again.

“you’re doing this on purpose, aren't you picking on me?” Reno tartly responds holding his phone towards him so sure about that Iharu is doing it again but that dimwit is so drunk that he has to lean forward, squint his eyes at the screen.

“no dudee. It's your girl—” Reno picks up the phone but he doesn't speak.

“are you at a bar right now? i just finished my work.”

“yes, I’m. can I go pick you up?”

“of’course you can but I got a cab. bye. text me the address.”

When you reach at the bar you could easily spot him. He is sitting at the corner in a secluded area. Ofcourse he is. Then, there is Iharu practically drooling on the table.

“why are you here?”

“what do you mean why I'm here? You texted the address.”

“yes but aren't you angry? At me?”

“yes but I know better than to take you seriously when you are that angry. ” he looks away from your face. “we can talk about it if you are still upset.” he shoots you a lazy smile and gets up.

“what about him?”

“what about who?” reno asks with pinched eyebrows.

Iharu’s snores are quite loud by now. You look at Reno holding your hand out. He doesn't protest. He gives you his phone and says his passcode. He gets you. His words are not drawly but rather slower than usual. At first, you intend to call Kafka but both of them being a pain in the ass you texted his vice-captain.

The can ride from bar to home was silent. Reno was laying his head down on your shoulder, eyes closed but a little fidgeting was there every now and then. As soon as you reach your apartment complex he got out, even leant against the wall while being on the elevator. He's sulking. It's adorable sometimes. When you reach your shared apartment he doesn't come in stands outside until you ask him to.

“i’m sorry.” reno says loud enough to kick out the drowsiness out of his body. “i'm sorry, babe.”

“well, it was partly my fault too but —” you grab his collar and pull him towards yourself. his defense system is useless against you. “but I'm going to make it memorable.” you say unbuckling his pants. As soon as his trousers hit the floor Reno closes the door with a kick while you go to your knees. “perhaps we should fight more,”

With his member in your hand you look up at him and then blink. once. twice. thrice. And then get up and walk inside your room. A few seconds of silence and then Reno is walking on your trail left by you apologizing for a few more times until you just shut him up with the most sloppiest toe curling blow job.

→ [ GEN NARUMI ]

“do not walk away from me. I'm not done talking yet.” Narumi's voice is perfectly flat devoid any splotch of anger or even frustration. he is leaning against the door as you move from kitchen counter to the dinning table carrying the dishes, then cooked meals and a water bottle. his eyes are going back and forth waiting for you to say something, anything or just yell at him. he can handle your blood and tears, not this silent treatment.

“well, don't treat me like I'm one of your missions and we are good.” you exclaim with a low voice while waving a hand as if you were talking to yourself but actually you just wanted to beckon him for dinner.

“i don't us to be just good. I want us to be better, to be comfortable in each other's presence, even in thoughts. . .” and now he is going to lecture you, like one of his subordinates. there is an agonizingly awful silence filling the room as you wait for him to continue but he is just there, standing, still silent.

you turn your chair to spare a look at him. his stance is still the same, lazy and nonchalant. he isn't mocking you or your love for him. he genuinely cares for you.

“i mean it.” he starts walking towards you in faster pace than usual. “and you know that.” he stands in front of you looking like a kicked puppy. the moment you leave your seat he is going to pounce on you like a wounded animal. this has happened before and last time it hurt a lot. so you don't get up instead just turn around to eat.

He grabs your wrist before you can even touch the food. “I said we’re not done talking.” he almost yells. seeing you flinch he sighs deeply before he gets on his knees and rests his head on your lap. “we submit are phones after turning it off. that's why I didn't know— that you were coming early from work. we work in different departments so we have different rules too. you can ask around. they'll tell you.”

“why didn't you say that earlier? was the whole fight really necessary?” you said with utter frustration laced underneath your voice.

“shouldn’t i at least get the benefit of doubt?” he looks at you placing his chin on your thighs.

you stroke his hair and he closes his eyes. “yes but — umm— never mind.” you say running your thumb over his lips. he graces a glance at you before running his hands on your back tracing up to your shoulders, he is crouching now and then pull away your top. now you're naked and sitting on a chair as he is standing. he throws the top away and sits on his knees again. hooking his arms around your calf muscles he licks in between your legs. “this is payback.” he whispers. your panty is still on and all Narumi is doing is licking slowly over the cloth, sometimes barely touching but if this is the payback you don't mind it at all, unlike last time.

→ [ HOSHINA SOSHIRO ]

Hoshina is the one who gives you the silent treatment even if he is at fault. He doesn't want his anger to harm you in any way, be it due to you or due to himself. He is not much of an angry person to begin with but somehow he just loses it for you. Maybe that's his protective instinct for you or the fear of melting the cocoon he created for his own protection. Either way, it's frustrating. It's frustrating enough that he keeps telling you how you should not put yourself in danger to protect him in a field mission yet you keep disobeying him at every mission. Either you are mocking him or trying to take his position which by the way both are wrong given the fact that you are his subordinate. He sat on one of the benches in the training room. he is too frustrated to concentrate on training.

“you know, you can let your anger out right? on me?”

Hoshina looks at you, pupils ever so still like a moonlight pond on a windless night. That's exactly what he doesn't want. don't you get that? you're wearing your night dress not your suit, which means you were either waiting for him or going to bed.

“i'm not mad at you.” he sighs. “not even myself. just at the situation in general. i know it's your instinct to protect people but sometimes . . .” he trails off looking at his fisted hand. he unfists his hand again.

“i can take it all, you know?. be it your love or anger. . .” Hoshina looks at you keeping his bottle aside. he swallows before leaving his place and dragging you inside the training room, the door still not closed.

“are you sure about that my love?” he graces his hands in between your thighs while whispering. you give him a nod. “let's see how long you last.” as his hand rubs against your entrance his mouth starts to suckle over your nipples as his other hand pins both of your hands above your head. the night suddenly feels long and breezy.

[jjkamochoso]

Imagine… Soshiro Hoshina Finding You on the Brink of Death

Angst, Hurt/No Comfort

Soshiro Hoshina x gn!reader

Warnings: mentions of injuries, ivs, death

Part two with fluff can be found here!

It looked to be the end of the line for you. Your Defense Force suit had long overheated, leaving you exhausted and vulnerable in your solo fight against the kaiju. The oversized monster saw how weak you were, becoming even more excited at the prospect of devouring yet another human. You kept shooting its snarling face in your desperation, round after round bouncing off its armored body since you wielded no extra power. The kaiju’s tail whipped around in a flash, hitting your slow moving body in the abdomen and making your gun fly from your grip. You were now splayed on the ground, unable to run and barely able to breathe. You didn’t want to give up but things were utterly hopeless. Your communications had been down the entire time of your 1 on 1 skirmish and your team had no idea where you were, you having been separated from them for far too long at that point. The kaiju strolled over to you, an aura of bloodlust surrounding it as it snatched you up in its jaw. You had no fight left in you—you just hoped your head would go first before all your bones were snapped.

“No more dinner for you tonight, you ugly shit.”

Was that… Soshiro? He came for you? You heard the faint unsheathing of swords as your eyes closed, ready to pass out. In its anger at being disrupted, the kaiju dropped you from its mouth and you tumbled onto the asphalt. The last thing you saw was a blur of violet hair and a whole lot of kaiju blood.

It was almost totally quiet when you came to again, save for the wheezing of your labored breaths. The sun was hanging high in the hazy sky and the weather was perfect--not too hot, not chilly at all. You wondered what Soshiro was up to. Was he still fighting the kaiju? You smiled at the thought. He was always so brave, the first one to jump into action. The relief you felt when he showed up to save you was insurmountable, though you probably weren't going to survive with your extensive injuries if you didn't see a doctor soon. What you wouldn't give to see his face again for the last time. No matter, the memories that you had together were more than enough for you. Maybe it was better this way. You couldn't imagine him setting eyes on your condition right now, you didn't want to burden him with your death. You prayed to whatever spiritual guide to let you pass before someone found your body; there was no way you'd let him lecture you about being more careful as you died.

"Vice Captain! They're still alive!"

You sighed as much as your broken body would allow. With Kafka around, your peaceful death plans would have to wait.

"Y/n, stay with us. Don't fall asleep, okay?"

His kind voice, though loud, was a welcome sound. Even still, your eyes were struggling to stay open as your head lolled around, but now your body was being maneuvered by someone whose touch had become a familiar comfort--

"Soshiro," you muttered, opening your eyes to find bright purple irises boring into your own. "Did you kill it?"

"Kill it? He obliterated that thing!" exclaimed Kafka, excitedly gesticulating. "He was all, swoosh with the swords and the honju was like, ahhh! Don't dice me up! But Vice Captain was like too bad, you should've thought of that before putting your hands on my y/n-"

"That's enough, Hibino."

"Yes, sir. I'll just, uh... stand over there."

Kafka ran off without another word, leaving you in the arms of the man you loved most.

"You’re my knight in shining kaiju armor," you choked out, trying to get a laugh from Soshiro, but he wasn't having any of it as he patched up your external injuries the best he could with his field first aid kit.

"I almost lost you, y/n. You almost died because I was too slow."

"Soshiro, that's not..." The blood you coughed up mixed with the blood on Soshiro's uniform.

"I know this might be selfish of me, but I can't let you die because I can't live without you. I don't want to live a life that doesn't have you in it. I would do anything for you." He placed a large bandage on a cut on your face, letting his fingertips rest there for longer than necessary before getting back to the task at hand. "I remember you said all those years ago you would do anything for me, too. Would you please hang in there and survive this? For me? For… us?”

He was right, you did say that. It was about a year after you both joined the Defense Force. You were both underdogs and no one seemed to believe in you and your abilities, except for each other. You had bonded over being underestimated and swore to each other that you’d never leave one another behind, in anything. He very obviously made good on that promise today.

You coughed up more blood and you could see the worry and pain in Soshiro’s gaze as he looked upon you, lying in his arms like a broken doll. He so gently wiped away the tears that were falling down your cheeks.

“It-everything hurts,” you whimpered.

“I know, I know it does. But we’re gonna get you the help you need, okay?”

You didn’t respond, causing Soshiro’s heart to plummet.

“Y/n. No, no, no, you gotta wake up. C’mon, this isn’t funny,” he pleaded, tapping your face, but getting no response.

“Shit! Hibino!” he yelled, trying his best to stay composed. “We need medic right now! Y/n won’t wake up!”

“Coming right now, Vice Captain!”

Sure enough, a doctor came rushing over, immediately placing down a stretcher. Soshiro loaded your unmoving body onto the hard plastic and he couldn’t help but think of how fragile you looked. Normally you were such a bright light in his life and a formidable ally not easily defeated, but right now, you looked one step from death’s door. He and Kafka dropped you off in an ambulance, ivs immediately being pumped into your veins. As those doors closed, Soshiro getting one last look of the love of his life, he prayed to whoever would listen that the door hadn’t closed on the opportunity to tell you how he truly felt.

PART TWO

[hoshinasblade]

"time cast a spell on you, but you won't forget me / i know i could have loved you but you wouldn't let me / you'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you" but make it about hoshina soshiro

when hoshina soshiro ended things with you, he said he did it because you deserve more than to be a young widow.

you would have called bullshit, but you recognise the truth is not far from his argument - defense force officers sometimes succumb to fatal injuries during kaiju attacks, and hoshina may be a skilled swordsman, but he isn't a god. as if the reason isn't enough, you knew that if he had wanted to stay with you despite being aware of the possibility of him dying in the field, he would have.

ten days before your third anniversary, hoshina abandoned your life and did not leave any traces at all. you did not know whether to be thankful that he was the one to tell your mutual friends of what transpired between you two.

it should have relieved hoshina; not being tied up in a relationship gave him more freedom to choose for himself - he even agreed to wear the weaponised kaiju no. 10 suit despite the likelihood of his lifespan decreasing because at least this time, he isn't worried that he will be leaving you alone in this world should something tragic happen to him. he's a more effective vice-captain if he doesn't have anything to lose.

really, it should have relieved hoshina but it doesn't.

he still makes his coffee the same way you taught him how to when you were just first seeing each other - two sugar and one cream, because he likes sweet things. everytime his jokes sell among the crowd of new recruits, he would get a flashback of how your laugh would sound like. he doesn't know if it's just in his head because it's been a while since he's seen you, much less heard your laugher. one time, when a particularly brutal kaiju attack occurred in the area close to where you live, hoshina soshiro prayed for the first time since he was a child - begging for any saint who would listen that hopefully you're safe, that you're alive.

really, the breakup should have relieved hoshina but it didn't. sometimes when he is too tired from training he would fall to his bed, his hand would trace the other side of the mattress for you only to find the cold and empty touch of his own blanket.

[kaszuma]

Bad Habits | Hoshina Soshiro

Part 6 of “Certainly Yours”

pairing: Hoshina Soshiro x fem!reader

summary: Soshiro wanted to set things right by you, so he planned a date that would've gone perfectly. Had a Kaiju not appeared in front of you.

warnings: Mentions of Blood, heavy detail on Injury and Pain. Breathlessness and lots of claustrophobia related to crowds, Angst, Hurt/No Comfort, Slight Kn8 Manga Spoilers

wc: 6,552

–

note: Please inform me if I missed any warnings, It has descriptive injuries so I don't want to trigger anyone who's willing to read this.

Part 7 will be a direct continuation of this. So that's why I dubbed it as a Hurt/No Comfort fic for now. The comfort will come in another part because things have been going too smoothly in the relationship. And I don't want that. Anyways, look forward to the next part. I will be adding a tags list. So if you want to be tagged. Please tell me.

Also, thank you for a hundred followers 🫶

–

Today was the day Soshiro had decided to finally make it up to you.

After weeks of moving between bases. Handling Number 10’s strange quirks in its new prototype suit. It had been an understatement to say that he had kept himself rather busy in the wake of his occupation. His attention often divided between the lousy paperwork stacked against him, as well as his individual training.

One that he had always upheld to keep his body sturdy and his reflexes sharp. Not once acting careless in his response to a Kaiju attack. Especially now where he was equipped with a powerful and sentient combat suit, bloodthirsty for war. Willing to pick a fight with anything remotely breathing in his direction.

By all means, Soshiro could not afford to slack off. And if there was a miniscule chance that he did, he'd be minced alive for sure.

Just when his hard work had started to pay off too.

Now that he had been recognized as a numbers wielder no less. He'd be one of the few melee specialists that Japan could rely on in the case of an emergency. The proof of his existence. That he wasn't just a reject of the Hoshina Family's line of descendants.

That he was more than capable to wield a blade that could slay Kaijus that came after him. And he had succeeded. He had fulfilled his place in the hierarchy. His place solidified beside Captain Ashiro who was an even stronger ally than he was.

But despite his successes. Despite the satisfaction he got from climbing to the top with only the swing of his blade.

That had not been enough for him.

It had not been enough to prove his existence to the world.

And although that had been a major goal of his. To surpass people's expectations of his limits. His boon to keep fighting. To keep swinging his sword despite the odds stacked against him, had also been the downfall of many past relationships that could not blossom because it had gotten in its way.

And you had been the first to stay.

The first to understand his sentiments.The first to clear a path for him when everyone else had all but given up.

And yet here he was. Being a stellar lover and prioritizing everything else above you.

It had been weeks. Practically an entire month since he's spent some quality time with you. Sharing the occasional kiss in the hallways where you'd start your day off. Or acknowledging each other briefly when he had been stuck in the confines of the training rooms.

Beating the lessons right into rookies' bodies when you'd pass by. Or better yet, the daily coffee you had somehow managed to squeeze in despite your equally tight schedule. His favorite blend had always been waiting for him. Ready at his office on the days he burned the very wicks of the midnight oil.

And what had he done in return?

Nothing.

Not since that incident with Kaiju no. 10 at least. That of which he worked so hard to erase any evidence left in its wake. The fake report had at least been a piece of cake to do. And they had to do over the entire prototype testing just to make sure Number 10 was usable in its current state.

And unfortunately for him, it proved to be a much more difficult task to complete. Day by day he had not once made progress in raising the Suit’s combat power. Leaving Kaiju no 10 to mock his defenses and other battle related tactics whenever it could. But that had been the least of his worries.

In all honesty, he had been feeling guilty since that day.

Although he'd be remiss to say he didn't enjoy the feeling. Soshiro had not been in the right sound of mind when he found himself getting closer to you. Drunken by your scent, he had practically seen images flash by his mind. Courtesy by the Kaiju that had seen through his desires. And one thing led straight to the next. He found himself in a troublesome situation that he had been afraid to know the consequences of.

He had desired her. Yes. That much was clear. But he wanted the relationship to evolve slowly. At your pace. One that made you most comfortable.

But he had breached that space. The inch you had given him had turned into a mile. And he was lucky he still held some sort of restraint before he did something stupid and regretted his past actions.

And somehow, you still forgave him.

You enjoyed yourself even. Welcoming him with open arms for the next time around when they had managed to squeeze in the time between work. Open to the idea of a more sensual intimacy. In the privacy of someplace else. And Soshiro had wanted that too.

He wanted to correct his haste. To properly love you right.

But not everything had been picture perfect in the way he had planned. His bad habits showed in the ways he'd prioritize everything but you. And just when he built up his courage–Built up the resolve to face you. To do right by you.

Of course, things just had to get in his way.

Things always got in his way before he could properly apologize and make it up to you. Or atleast, that was the excuse he'd find himself feeling guilty of.

And that is where he found himself outside the premises of the Tachikawa base. Strangely out of uniform and in his civvies that he had managed to find beneath the sweatpants in his closet. Dappered in a simple black turtleneck and a white overcoat. Befitting of the cooler weather Japan had been facing in recent times.

He had been waiting for you to show up with a picnic basket in hand. A few paperback novels that he thinks you might enjoy. Added with a few sweets that he hoped would lighten up your day perhaps.

The plan had been simple.

He’d already done the nerve-wracking part. Stopping you midway as you finished giving him the stack of blueprints for the Combat Suit you had worked on upgrading. His hand reached to touch the soft skin of your knuckles. An action that made you look back at him in turn.

“Is something wrong?” You had asked curiously. The softness in your voice remained. One that made Soshiro want to melt into a puddle.

He smiled. Somehow the words got stuck on his tongue. And he had to remind himself that you were his lover. Who of course would agree to a date. Should he suggest it, Right?

He gulps. Suddenly feeling a little irritated at the way his stomach had dropped and a plethora of nervous butterflies had resurfaced.

Normally he'd have no problem taking out hordes of Yoju that came his way. Boasting the highest individual kill count for slaying midsized Kaiju of his generation. Yet somehow, his reason had gona askew. And he found this situation a little more terrifying than he anticipated.

“Hey, I was thinking..”

“Uh oh- That's not a good sign.” Your comment makes him smile. His eyes rolling to give your shoulder a playful squeeze.

“-That you and I need to have a talk.”

“About what?” You had replied with a tilt on your head.

“I got a few paperbacks in the mail yesterday. I was hoping we could grab a bite to eat while we read through ‘em?” He smiled. His usual grin did not falter in the way he spoke to you. Though you could tell that he had an inkling of nervousness by the way he reached up to scratch the side of his cheek.

“Oh. And here I thought I was in trouble.” You chuckle. “So you're finally inviting me out on a date, Vice Captain?”

He had moved to stand much closer to you. Hand already at the shape of your hip, habitually writing his name on the waistband of uniform. “Is that a no I hear from ya’”

“Now when did I say that?” And it makes you smile knowing he had been trying despite the busy schedule he had.

You had long since understood his place in the hierarchy. Soshiro may have not realized it, but he was far too important of a person in the Defense Force to have been kept away from duty.

His life alone had been the cost of a thousand who'd live due to his sacrifices. And whether or not his insecurities had blocked his view of his own self-worth. You were able to see it clearly.

So despite the difficulties. Despite the yearning you felt for his proximity You did the usual and prioritized his work. Letting him handle things when command had already put so much weight into his daily responsibilities. Not that he seemed affected by it, no doubt already used to the pressure of a hectic battlefield. Much less a hectic work environment.

But of course, you wouldn't reject an offer out on a date with your lover. Not when he so sweetly asked.

And if he had the occasional free time to invite you out. Who were you to say no to his offer?

“Soshiro!” You had called out. Appearing just beside him who stood nearest the entrance of the underground metro station. And he smiled turning towards you with his usual cheeky and cat-like grin.

“You shoulda’ texted me. I would've picked you up by the train stations.” He had moved his free hand to pinch your cheeks. And it makes you chuckle. Revealing yourself completely to him.

Where his eyes had raked over the surface of the cute outfit you decided to purchase the day before. Hand already twirling a strand of your hair before tucking it behind your ear. Admiring your very soul. Your entirety in front of him.

“And miss your startled face? Fat chance I'd miss that opportunity.” You laughed.

Soshiro had rolled his eyes in turn. His heart pounding as his free hand immediately intertwined with yours.

“If it makes ya’ happy Sweetheart.” He didn't waste this opportunity to gently pull you close. Kissing your temple which had been nearest his lips. “You look pretty.”

His compliments had made you brighten. Your face visibly beamed when his eyes drank your figure. “Damn straight. I wasn't about to let you one up me in the looks department.”

“Alright, alright.” He found himself chuckling. “Let's get moving before the desserts I bought ya’ go bad.”

You had half a mind to drag your feet while he took you out of the metro line. Acting stubborn just to stall and ruffle his feathers for a bit. As payback for neglecting you all those days ago.

But you had decided against it, the crowded train station was far too busy in the early hours of the afternoon. And you would not risk losing each other and wasting the rare day Soshiro had all planned out for the both of you to do.

“Lead the way.” You had smiled, giddy at the mere thought of a time well spent together. And Soshiro had shared that very sentiment. Already leading you away from the busy horde where lines of people had been waiting for the next train stop.

Upon your words, he had gently walked forward. Leading you by the hand.

His grip on you was firm and you can see the way his back had engulfed and weaved through the crowd much more easily than you ever had. Broad in his strides as he tried not to go too fast. Matching your pace since he knew you weren't as built in stamina as he was.

You had admired the little details of his nape. The one mole peaking through the skin of his turtleneck, where his hair had shown every detail of his jugular. One that you had marveled at when he wasn't looking.

Just as you were about to offer your help. Reaching for the sling of the basket on his free hand.

A shiver ran down your spine. The hand that had tried to reach for the basket had paused in heavy response.

And you had suddenly flinched as a loud gust of wind had blown past you. Making the indoor lights of the metro begin to pop and flicker abnormally. An eerie buzz emitting from each light source as if the electricity had all short circuited, simultaneously.

The temperature underground had strangely heightened. Unusual for the cool metro station during this time of day.

And the crowd that had busied themselves passing each other by, had all but stopped. With people's stares directed behind the both of you in a frozen and frightened state. You look around, almost confused. And Soshiro had gripped his hand harder against yours. As if he already knew the exact dread that overcame him.

The exact thing that had been staring right back at them.

And somehow you had that inkling too.

But denial had only been your first problem. And the rest of your body seemed to know the truth. Your very palms began sweating like bullets, and you had hesitantly looked behind you. To prove to yourself that it had not been what you think it was.

But Soshiro who had somehow read your mind. Had moved much quicker than you had.

Pulling you behind him, already pushing you to the exit when people had started panicking. Screams had been the accompaniment of hasty footsteps. With people of all different ages, running in the same direction. Away from the stairs leading down the metro line.

A mere glimpse is all it took for the hair on your skin to rise. And the face of a humanoid Kaiju had looked in your direction. Its skin peeled like oranges, unlike the gritty leathery texture that surrounded its cheeks. And although it had a terrifying grin on its face. It remained calm. Observant. It seemed ecstatic in the way it reveled in the attention it had gotten. Whilst Soshiro had pulled you from your trance.

“Run. Get going!”

Soshiro had strangely screamed. Already pushing you to evacuate, weary that the Kaiju could attack you at any given moment should it wish to. But the Kaiju had a strange way of showing its excitement. Gurgling at every noise it heard. And Soshiro's yell had all been reduced to a mere whisper against your ear. The sound of a panicked crowd was all too encompassing for you to actually make out his words.

Soshiro had kept a firm grip on your shoulders. Still trailing close behind you with his gaze fixated on the Humanoid Kaiju.

Its legs had hovered mere inches above the ground. Crinkled like an old vegetable that was left out in the freezer for too long. It had double the arms, one that resembled old branches with no leaves. And although it looked sickly and frail, he was sure the damn thing was capable of major damage given the right opportunity.

But instead of grabbing onto the nearest person like Soshiro had anticipated. It surveyed the area. Weary of its nearest surroundings.

It's molars and gums chattering against each other. Echoing throughout the underground halls of the metro station. It looked as if it was occupied with something. A far off look in its beady eyes. As if it were communicating with someone.

Perhaps it had something to do with Number 9? Shit.

If that's the case, Soshiro needed to get you out of here as soon as possible.

“I can't get through. They're all pushing..” You had gasped. Feeling yourself stumble back when another person pulled at your shoulder and leaped forward. Using you as leverage to get to the exit.

Soshiro, who had seen this, was quick to catch you before you could fall. Your back against his chest in a protective stance.

He couldn't move. Not yet at least.

More than anything he'd like to handle that thing as quickly as possible. But to leave you nearby in such close proximity too? There's no way in hell he was going to let that happen. So all he could do was fixate his eyes on that Kaiju.

This thing was clearly sentient. Soshiro had seen the way it lingered to read one of the signs nearest the exit. But I didn't seem interested in conversing, let alone leave if he had asked. And he wasn't about to take his chances.

He needed to get rid of that thing now.

“Hoshina here.” He had fished out the white earpiece that he hid on his overcoat's back pocket. Pressing the small item down to his ear to contact operations.

“There's a Daikaiju sighting in the Tachikawa-Kita Station. Requesting permission to use Number 10 to neutralize it.” He spoke seriously. Unlike the usual light hearted conversations you'd have with him. And it makes you stare up at him with raised eyebrows.

It had been weeks since you had worked on Number 10. It was still far too early to be used as a plausible weapon out in the field. And yet here he was, indirectly telling you that he had worn it out in public.

“You what?” You had gasped out. Eyes blown wide whilst his hand remained on the small of your back.

Much to your dismay, Soshiro had not answered you.

Simply moving you closer to the wall, to let other people get through. His hand still pressed against the intercoms whilst he waited for a reply from Operations.

Soshiro had been focused on shielding you for the most part. The crowd was pushing, but it seems they had still been making progress in evacuating the area. Save for a few rumbles that had happened when the Kaiju had suddenly implanted its branch-like fingers onto one of the pillars. Cracking the surface of the solid cement that held the pillar in place. And you couldn't help but worry at the close proximity you both had been.

Right in range of where the Kaiju was looking at.

“Permission granted.” Okonogi’s faint voice could be heard. Likely already booting up Number 10's system underneath Soshiro’s civvies. The bioweapon would slowly regain energy which kept it from its usual conscious state.

“Do you, or Do you not have Number 10 on?” You had asked incredulously. Prying his arms off of you to peel off his shirt. And his larger hand stops you before you could see the peak of red in the place of where his skin should be.

“As a precaution m'dear.” His reply was immediate.

And he suddenly grabbed you by the wrist. Ushering you forward along with the thinning crowd. The stairway had all been emptied now. Save for a few runaways that had tripped or were pushed earlier.

“Higher ups wanted me to get used to it. Releasing this thing’s combat power, I mean.” His voice had been an octave lower. His smile, although present, had not been enough to reassure you. And you had a feeling he was trying not to have you panic on him.

“That is stupid. Command shouldn't have let you wear it. Number 10 is still unstable. What if you go berserk and lose control?” You sighed, running your hand through your hair.

“You did try to argue with command right?”

…

“Right?”

Soshiro did not answer you. Already pacing to drag you out of here before things could escalate.

Meanwhile, you had all but looked at him once over. Now it made sense why he chose to wear an overcoat when the weather had only been a little chilly this afternoon. It had surprised you that he was able to hide its tail from emerging from his legs. But then again, he probably had his blades tucked away in that too.

“Soshiro..”

“Listen, I'll explain things later. Take this and get to the nearest shelter. I ain’t havin Number 10 going berserk. I'll be fine. Just let me handle the Kaiju first, okay-” His sentence was cut short by your scream.

A broken chunk of the large pillar had been thrown towards you. And it had startled you enough to drop the basket he handed you. Soshiro had been quick in his motion to shield you. Wrapping his arms around your shoulder to let his back hit the brunt of the pillar.

But before it could hit and crush the two of you to bits. The faint sound of number 10 chuckled inSoshiro's suit. And its weaponized tail lashed out to strike the pillar back. Destroying it before it could scratch you both from its debris.

The sharp end had all but ripped Soshiros overcoat to shreds. And he was quick to remove the unnecessary fabric on top of his combat suit. Revealing the distinct eye hollowed out in the middle of his chest.

“Lucky this bonehead woke up on time.” Soshiro had chuckled darkly. And it was followed by its immediate reply. Tail haphazardly swinging around from behind him.

“Stop with your meaningless trifles and get to fighting swordsman! My patience is thinning.” It sounded almost like a child. Though its voice had been a deep and rambunctious chatter like usual.

“You heard the darn thing.” He sighs, pushing you forward before another attack could come in.

And you shook your head, placing your firm hands against the suit of his chest. Just beside Number 10's glowing eye. Your gaze fixated on his usual smile, one that you had grown accustomed to hearing cheery laughs from. “Are you serious? This thing isn't ready for an actual fight.”

“Do not mock us Woman. By the time you have escaped our opponent would have been ripped to shreds by me.” It screamed.

Making you roll your eyes in turn. And Soshiro had all but chuckled. Already letting you get a head start as you stepped out of the underground Metro line. “Just go. I promise you I'll be jus’ fine.”

“I’ll come find you later.” He had spoken. Already turning his heel to grab the swords he had hidden on his back.

You knew this was his job. The unavoidable was bound to happen. And as much it pained you to leave him alone with a Daikaiju with only a misaligned prototype of a suit as an ally. There was bound to be trouble afoot. But what can you do other than run?

You weren't a fighter like he was.

Your use was only in the presence of a laboratory, as a technician. Paving the way to enhance his equipment. To heighten his chances of survival, even if it was a measly one percent of it.

That had been better than none after all.

So with a heavy heart. You nod. Glancing at his form for a second longer before you began running. Taking careful steps to the opposite direction where you knew the nearest shelter would be at. There was never a shortage of Defense Force Officers there. Maybe they'd be willing to let a few assist Soshiro before things could go awry.

Captain Ashiro had always made quick work of any Kaiju that appeared. The third had always been quick to respond to action. Not once arriving late when the Tokyo district needed them the most.

Soshiro would just have to hold out before then.

Deal with Number 10's strange habits and hopefully manage to unleash the suit's combat power which had proven to be a tricky feat for a while now. And if he were lucky, maybe he wouldn't need backup at all.

The optimistic side of you wished to see him make quick work of the Kaiju. Have him return to you, maybe with a couple or bruises to sport but nothing serious.

He'd smile at you. Holding peace signs with his fingertips out as a form of comfort. To tell you that he had been fine and the Kaiju had easily accepted defeat, ending the story in a clean neutralization.

You'd even be willing to hear Number 10's inflated boasting in the background. Telling you that they had sliced it to ribbons before you even had the chance to reach the shelter.

At least that's what you hoped to imagine.

Just as soon as you arrived at the familiar street. You passed by the multitude of shopping districts in the area. And you see the familiar crowd of people being ushered into the sturdy underground bunker of the shelter. Far away from the premises of the Metro Line where Soshiro’s battle had taken place.

You had immediately stepped up. Trying to fall in line with the rest of the crowded spaces that led up to the entrances of the bunker.

But somehow the temperature rose once more. And you feel the familiar rumble in your chest as a gust of wind had blown behind you. Your hair going in all sorts of directions before your eyes settled on the familiar looking Kaiju floating in the very back of the crowd. Nearing you inch by inch.

What was it doing here?

Everyone who had equally felt the same tension had been paralyzed from fear. Its beady gaze had been burning holes unto the crowd. And its neck cracked as it tried to tilt its head to the side.

This had been enough to get rid of the stupor on everyone's expressions. And another wave of panic ensued. Leaving you and a few others to be pushed around in the wake of everyone's panic.

“Report. Kaiju has been spotted here in Shelter 1121. Requesting permission to engage.”

You had heard one of the Defense Force Officers yell. The few that had been present were already aiming their firearms at the chattering Kaiju. It's head convulsing as it floated ever so closer towards the crowd. Its branch-like fingertips grazed the road. Eerily dragging its long limbs down the cement. Its pace is slow and tantalizing as if to tease your inevitable demise.

You had groaned.

Feeling yourself be pushed down to the ground. Palms hitting the coarse texture of the cement roads. Knees scraping the rough surface as you stopped yourself from falling face flat onto the floor. Luckily the crowd had been mindful enough not to trample you. With most of the citizens already crowding the entrance as Soldiers had blocked the Kaiju's path from going any further.

But you saw the way it moved.

In a blink of an eye the Kaiju had made quick work of the Officers. Sweeping them off like insects thrown to the side. Their bodies hitting the nearest surface available in the area. And you had tried to back away. The itching pain that had surrounded your knees was like putting salt on an open wound. Still fresh from the poor landing you had from earlier.

But there was no time to focus on that. Its beady gaze already staring at you and his next target had been made clear.

Just as you had tried to get up, you saw the way a car had been thrown right above your head. And you had been a hair away from being hit by the force of its pitch. Landing on a few people who had crowded up against the entrance of the base.

Likely crushing a few people in the process.

Shit.

The dizzy unease you felt had all but dazed your mind's eye. And somehow through the fire and the panicked screams. A force had thrown you off the ground.

And suddenly your body had slumped against the nearest wall. Your back landing on the very glass of a fashion boutique. Your weight had shattered its surface upon impact when you were thrown against it.

A shockwave on the ground had likely thrown you a few feet back. And you whimpered. Feeling the shards of glass puncture your shoulder and arms. A few cutting your legs that had shamelessly bleeded against the floor.

You could feel a much larger injury on the small of your back. But as it stands, you couldn't really focus on a specific area. Not when it had hurt all over.

It had hurt to stand up. Let alone to crawl away.

You were not in the safety of the base. And Soshiro had not been here beside you. Even if it hurts like hell. You knew that you had to move. You had to get away and find some help before the situation got worse.

But somehow, it had only gotten much more difficult to breathe. Your eyes which had blurred from the blood flow on your head had suddenly cleared a little bit. Just enough for you to inspect your surroundings. And you noticed it had gotten significantly darker upon your landing. Everything, even within the confines of the boutique, had been covered in a thin layer of smoke that you could've sworn wasn't here before

The scent had been weird. Both earthy and a little rusty for your liking. But it had a distinct bitter smell, like something had gone rotten in the area.

And suddenly your throat lurched. Coughing at the sheer difficulty your lungs had inhaled. Like suddenly oxygen had all but ran out and you were left with a gas that had been invading your system entirely.

Your hand had shakily reached up your throat. Trying not to panic as the breaths you made had gotten shorter and shorter.

Was this poison?

Did the Kaiju have anything to do with this?

Where was Soshiro? Was he dead?

Only panicked thoughts plagued your mind. Not entirely aware that the pain had made you almost delirious as you try not to cry from all the overwhelming sensations you felt.

Your only thought had been to gather your bearings and find Soshiro. Damned the injuries that weighed your body. Damned the poison gas that made you want to throw up your lungs.

All you needed was Soshiro.

Yet somehow, you find yourself back on the ground. With your cheek pressed up against the shattered glass. Eyes slowly fluttering to a close from the sheer exhaustion alone. And your body, had never accepted sleep more than this moment had.

–

Who knows how long you've been laying there. A few gunshots sounded out from the distance before it ultimately quieted down. A roar rumbled to the far east of where you had rested. But the sounds had gone silent a few minutes after.

And here you were, dizzy from a concussion. Bleeding from your arms and legs. And your breaths barely audible from the amount of toxic gas you had inhaled.

You didn't know whether or not your lungs were barely functioning anymore. But with the slow rise and labored falls of your chest, you were sure you had still been okay. Though it's a miracle you were still half awake.

You could still make the odd gasps and silent plea for help. So you couldn't sleep. Not yet at least. Not when help could so easily arrive and your chances of actually surviving would lower.

The smoke had not cleared up from where you had laid. And for a moment, you see the shadow of a figure step hastily through the broken boutique. Staring down at you with gritted teeth.

“Found you..”

Your breath hitched. Suddenly the blinding numbness had been replaced with a fresh bout of soreness and burning pains. And Soshiro, who had stood above your half-conscious body, had stumbled a bit.

Not used to the way your body stood so still. Arched upward from the shard of glass punctured nearest the back of your waist. His breath was stolen away, as he could only imagine how the pain must’ve felt when you were thrown off balance to crash a building no less.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, c'mere.” Soshiro's familiar voice was much clearer now that he had stepped much closer to you.

The clang of his blades had dropped beside you as his hands were already fumbling to remove the straps of his respiratory mask. Rushing to place it atop your mouth and nose. Hoping it would help you breathe properly.

“Someone get the medic. Get the medic.”

Soshiro screamed. Glancing behind him for a moment before his focus had been fixated on you. His other hand gingerly lifting your head from the ground to assess the injuries you sustained.

And his eyes. The wine color of his eyes…

You could've sworn it had darkened. Brimmed with the fear of losing you. A cacophony of unshed tears that would usually be closed and cat-like in its features.

“..Soshiro?” You croaked out. Voice a little raspy from whatever gas that Kaiju had decked out. And your lover immediately pulled you closer. Rocking your body to keep you awake.

His first instinct was to secure the straps of the respiratory mask on your face. Letting you take a few filtered breaths before you try to speak once more. Though he hushed you right after, in the case you’d drain the little energy you had left in you.

And from the deadweight he felt. He somehow feared the worst.

“Hey, hey, Shhhh. You're okay.” He spoke with a shaky voice. As if he were assuring himself more than he did you. “I'm here now. We're gonna fix ya’ up brand new. I promise.”

His words had been loud. Desperate even. But for some reason, it went in and out of your ears. Not entirely sure if he had been screaming at somebody else, or he had been talking to you in particular. His reassurances got softer and softer from the minute your ears began to ring.

The sound of his voice, which you would normally find comfort in. Had your head spinning around. Making you wince in turn.

You had wanted to reach out. To pull him close and check for his own injuries. But your arms and shoulders would twitch in pain anytime you had tried to move a muscle. The poison in your system had made it all the more heavier for your body to move. Chained to the ground as if restrained by your own powerlessness of the situation.

“You're done?” You had managed to groan out. Wondering if the Kaiju had been neutralized.

And his immediate response was to nod in your direction. Pulling you much closer so that his leg would be able to support your weight on the ground. Away from the edged shards of glass that had scattered about.

“I'm okay baby. Yer’ the one that needs the help here..” He lets out a dry chuckle. Not entirely convinced that his jokes were actually landing. His panic was more evident in his tone than it had usually been, and for some reason. That hurt more than the physical wounds you endured.

“I know.” You hissed. “Hurts all over..if you couldn't tell..”

“Shit. Medics are on their way. I'm gonna lift you up okay? You'll be fine. Just gonna meet em’ halfway..” He had started. With Soshiro gently hooking his arms underneath the knees of your legs. And just as soon as you were an inch off of the ground. You winced.

Your teeth gritted together as you tried not to cry from the pain you felt when your body had raised from the ground. His hands, although they had been careful, were far too firm against the cuts on your body.

And the pain on your back, where the glass shard had punctured your organs, had a burning sensation you wished would go away.

Soshiro who had seen the way you panicked. Stopped in his actions. Putting you back down on the ground where his leg had cushioned your bleeding head.

“I know, I know jus’ bear with me, alright? Keep your pretty eyes open.” The string of curses never left Soshiro's lips. And his hand which had gently held the cheek where the respiratory mask met the skin of your pale face. Hoping that your breaths would get steadier. The mask recording all the slow inhales you'd take.

In and out. Labored but at least it was still there.

“Breathe..jus’ breathe for me, okay?”

Your eyes had tried to blink rapidly to remove the fatigue you had felt. But somehow, you were fighting a losing battle. And you couldn't help but give into the darkness. The fatigue would feel much nicer since you didn't have to worry about the pain. And with your lover here. It was okay to relax now. No longer did you need to have your guard up to combat the fight or flight situation.

And Soshiro found himself panicking even more at the way your eyes grew distant. Screaming at his intercoms for a medic on-field. Likely already on their way to the location he had sent to Operations moments prior. Okonogi in particular was trying to reassure the Vice Captain, but to no avail.

Not when his focus had all but fixated on your wellbeing. Eyes already closed as you drifted to an unconscious state.

His hand had reached down to your cheek. Already running circles against the bags of your eyes. Running across the dried tears that brimmed your eyes. Denying that this moment had a possibility to be your last.

And without hesitation, he started lifting you up again. This time not a peep from your mouth.

He was gonna fucking take you to the neareat hospital himself if he had to.

Like hell he was going to let you die. Right?

Right?

“Shit. This ain’t funny. Wake–Wake up!”

He hears Okonogi speak on the other side. Something about how a few officers had already turned the corner nearest their location. And he found himself running to their direction, your head leaning against his shoulder leaving small blood stains on Number 10's plated armor.

Help was close. But Soshiro's mind wasn't eased by that fact. Not at all relieved.

Not when your head had still been bleeding and a shard of glass as large as his hand had been punctured just below the small of your back.

And as he ran, he had wondered what he could've done to avoid this.

Should he not have asked you to go out today?

No.

You had been far too eager for this moment. It had been his fault for neglecting you. For not prioritizing the wave of affections you gave him in turn.

He had promised himself that he was gonna cherish you. Dedicate entire days just for you.

And yet here he was. With his plans, ruined beyond repair. And he finds himself going back to the root of his bad habits.

His work, his ambition to be seen as someone capable. Someone who existed in the hands of the world who did not see his strength and dedication. It had held him by the collar, forcing him to face elsewhere. Trapped him from doing right by you.

And now?

His bad habits had now suffered the consequences of his actions. No longer did he have the chance to do everything once over.

And his apologies had fallen to deaf ears. Hoping for the chance you'd get to hear him again.

He had a bad habit of doing you wrong. And now, he hopes you'd be awake so he can set things right.

[inzaynety]

part of the job ⤫

➢ summary: after using no. 10, hoshina realizes one of the reasons behind his drive to fight. after listening, you realize the limits to your everything. 

➢ content: hoshina x fem!reader, 1607 words, non-explicit injuries, spoilers from the manga (fight starting at ch. 88 and hoshina’s past lwky), locking someone up (crack part lol), slight angst, hurt/comfort

➢ notes: yo🫸🏼🫷🏼this is more of a character analysis for hoshina and reader so i added some dialogue from the manga itself to connect it a little more (w/ reader influence ofc be we’re delulu like that)

pt. 2 - pt. 3 of slice & dice - pt. 4

Not yet. My sword is right there.

He feels like he’s floating, like his body is lighter than he remembers. But there’s no time to waste, he has to grab hold—oh. That’s why he feels that way.

His arm is gone.

Hoshina stares in shock as his blade moves further and further away, and all that’s left is him and his thoughts. He can’t feel himself moving; he can’t feel himself breathing. 

If he were his brother, he would have been able to switch over to his firearms without a worry and take down the Kaiju just like that. For crying out loud, this was a smaller one. This should have been easier for him. His father and the first commander he trained for, didn't need his particular set of skills. 

And you—what were you doing there? He knows he’s dying, and he knows this is what people might see before they go. But how cruel is it when it’s your own lover staring back at you?

If he were you, what would he do? 

He’d take your other hand and shove his blade back in there, probably complaining about how hard to hold Izumo tech made them, more so than the guns at least. And he’d push you to keep on fighting even if neither of you knew you’d make it back.

Why? Because he knows how much you love your weapon. He knows how much you trained with that old thing more times than he can count. And he knows it’s the same for him.

A jarring laugh takes him out of his thoughts. Hoshina gasps and clenches his left fist, then his right. His arm was still there.

How was that?! I totally fended it off!!

That son of a bitch Kaiju No. 10.

You can’t listen.

Having been injured in a previous mission yourself, you were pretty much banned from joining the fight anywhere. Your division knows that despite whatever persona you had as their commander, if there was a place you’d want to be, you’d be there no matter what.

The only thing you could do now, however, was send your vice commander and platoon leaders off before settling into your office and waiting. The control room was only a corridor down and from the messages you’d been receiving, your team was doing just fine. 

You just didn’t know if he was. The First and Third had their fair share of strong opponents but it doesn’t seem like they ever caught a break. Even if they were going to be using Kaiju powered suits and weapons, that was never going to be enough, was it?

You only had the call with Okonogi to go off of and had placed yourself on mute so as not to distract her from her job. But it scared you instead upon hearing the Third’s own shouts and cries of their vice commander’s name.

Your finger hovers over the red button after a particularly devastating yell until an alarm blares in your office. 

“Commander! There’s a situation with Mizutani’s Platoon!” 

Without hesitation, you lift your finger off and connect it to your in-ear, placing your phone in your pocket before rushing to the control room. 

Why is it that even though I’d lose and lose, I never stopped swingin’? Why is it that even after being told I should give up time and time again, I never stopped fighting?

He stands unwavering on an equal level with Kaiju No. 10 sitting in front of him, waiting idly for his answer.

“To beat my brother.”

No.

“To hold on to the one thing I’ve got goin’ for me.”

No!

“To fulfill my duties as vice-captain.”

Quit trying to put up a front!

Hoshina doesn’t know what the monster wants to hear, but he knows they don’t have much time right now. No. 12 is much stronger than No. 10 was and he can’t imagine what would happen if he failed to neutralize it now. Only he could do something about it but now he was utterly lost. What could he do?

The world around him steadies and he blinks. Oh.

“Because swingin’ the sword...”

Kaiju No. 10 doesn’t move. 

“...is fun.”

No. 10 grits its teeth, veins popping against its skin as it rises, its eye peeking from the cross-shaped hole in its head.

That’s right.

You’re pacing back and forth, receiving poorly concealed glances sent your way by your own division. It felt like an eternity from the time you were called into the room to the time of any other update from the Third Division. This can’t be healthy.

You hate thoughts like this. They give you doubts. Doubts about things you can’t control by yourself, nor can you even if you were given the wheel. It’s not in your place to stop him or abandon your post just for him. You wish you could split yourself in half and not worry so much, but wouldn’t it be easier to find a way to get rid of that worry? What about–

“Vice Commander Hoshina has neutralized No. 12!!” Okonogi announces that you can hear it through your in-ear as well as your control room’s speakers. Your team lets out a collective cheer and sighs of relief as you visibly relax, reaching into your pocket to hang up the call. 

On the monitors, every platoon leader and officer worked with pride and neutralized their own Kaiju with ease from the moral boost that, among Shinomiya and Gen’s victories, had given them. Everything was going to be fine. 

But the piercing eyes of those thoughts stay in the back of your head.

His whole body is sore and hot when he wakes up. The smell of fresh linen and alcohol comes to his senses and when he opens his eyes, you’re right there in front of him. Hoshina’s surprised but he’s also imagining the look on the medics faces seeing you rush through the halls like he knows you did.

“Sweet–” You punch his better side and he yelps. He tries to retort at the action but one look at your face has him holding it in. 

“Dumbass! Stupid. You were—god, I swear I’m locking you up and never letting you see the light of day.” But then you’re gently pressing your face against the same arm and letting out the deepest sigh you had been keeping in. His expression softens as he brings his hand up to pat your head. 

“Not even congratulations? Good job?” You were probably aware of how much he overheated his suit and definitely aware of how he was using the prototype No. 10 suit, so that did not help in extinguishing your worries. Yeah, he was reckless alright.

Tears start to form in your eyes and while you’re grateful that your face is hidden from his sight, Hoshina knows you better than that. You must have been so worried for him while being preoccupied with your own division and everything. It was so, so hard. Your grip on the back of his pillow doesn’t go unnoticed.

The sudden thoughts hit you again and guilt runs through you. How could you think that?

“Hey–” Hoshina starts as now you’re crying, holding onto his arm with a grip just a tad lighter than the one you have on the cloth behind him. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” You weren’t one to cry so much, at least not lately. He made that a mission for himself. 

You only shake your head, allowing yourself to be moved by a man more hurt than yourself into his arms as he comforts you. His warmth is there, his heart is beating, and his words are spoken right into your ear to tell you he’s there. He’s alive, he’s fine. 

But what if he wasn’t? What if he didn’t make it out of there?

“Look at me.” His voice is firm, juxtaposed with the hands lifting your face to get you to focus your attention on him. “I’m right here.”

You should be here comforting him, not the other way around. Of course, your Soshiro would be the one to do this, though. You raise your eyes to him and come to the realization of the utmost contentment you’ve ever felt. Something you’ve always felt with him.

Of course, your Soshiro.

It takes a few moments but you’re able to calm yourself. He wipes away your tears with his thumbs, and waits patiently in case you want to say something, even if it is nothing at all. 

“I…” You can’t pick out your words right away, “...felt like I couldn’t do anything. Watching you like that. Soshiro,” he’s hanging onto your every word, “I thought that if, just for a second, you weren’t in my life, maybe it’d be easier to not feel like that.” Even coming from your own mouth, it sounds too harsh and too horrifying to say out loud. His hold falters, you can feel it, and you’re immediately wracked with more guilt. 

“But–”

“That’s okay.” Is what Hoshina answers first, stopping you. His hands on your face grasp you more and bring you closer to his. “I’d like to think I know ya enough to know what ya want to say. Maybe ya don’t know it yet.” The glint in his eyes are back, earning an automatic roll of your eyes. 

He’ll tell you later how much you helped him. 

“There’s my girl.” He places a kiss on your nose and rests your foreheads together. “Besides, ya can’t get rid of me that easily.”

You’ve helped him so much more than you think.

“I’ll always be here.”

©inzaynety 2024

[sweettofuki]

"Every relationship is different, but ours was my favourite."

pairing: Hoshina Soshiro x emotionally reserved reader genre: angst -> fluff, a little smut summary: you and Hoshina are exes and you're not taking it as well as you thought. warning: minors do not interact, slight cursing a/n: credits to @daily-prompts; prompt 2485 and @helpful-writing-tips! part two here wc: 1876

“I’m confident that you belong in an asylum!” Hoshina snarled.

“Like you weren’t born in there,” you retorted.

“What were you thinking?? You could have gotten yourself killed.” Hoshina hissed.

“It would have been an improvement to my life anyway,” you mumbled.

“What was that?” he whipped his head around.

“Nothing.”

The tension in the air of the meeting room was palpable, so thick that a knife could slice through it. Every leader in the room shifted comfortably, their eyes darting anywhere but towards the two of you.

It was no secret that you and Hoshina were exes. Five months had passed since the breakup—a decision you regretted. Getting involved with a colleague was a mistake, blurring the lines of professionalism. But in your defense, he’s just so damn irresistible. His quick wit, contagious laugh, and not to mention, his skills in bed.

Those same reasons were what broke you when you asked to end it. In truth, your relationship with him had always been rocky, and the added combination of a vice-captain and a platoon leader from different divisions does not make it easier.

Every time you asked him to spend time together, he always seemed to have something going on. Whether it was paperwork, fighting Kaijus, testing new technology, or keeping his platoon in check, he just never seemed to have enough time for you.

Every day, you stayed up waiting for him in your shared bed, only to meet with silence, too exhausted to even exchange words.

No matter how much was on your plate, you always made time for him, a fact he seemed to take for granted. Yet, you knew you had your own faults too—communicating your needs was never your strong suit. God forbid you to have communication skills. When you needed something, you found it difficult to speak up.

Despite all your efforts, it felt like the universe was conspiring against your relationship. You often found yourself wondering, "Does he love me?", "Has he fallen out of love with me?", "Why did he even get into a relationship with me in the first place?”

[♡]

This takes us back to the present.

The night before, there was a Kaiju attack with a fortitude of 7.6. Both your division and Hoshina’s were assigned to neutralize it. The mission was going well until Kaiju no. 9 intercepted and brought the Kaiju back to life, with twice its strength than before, reaching to a fortitude of 9.4.

Everyone fought to the best of their abilities, but half of your platoon was down, and you weren't doing any better. With multiple broken bones and exit wounds, you could barely stand. If not for the combat suit’s advanced technology, you would have bled out to death.

Despite the pain coursing through your body with every movement, you rise to your full height, determined to subjugate the demon in front of you.

“Platoon Leader L/n! Please stand down! Your vitals are abnormal, and your suit is down to 1% power. You will die if you take another step.” the officer monitoring you from the comms pleaded.

“Shut it. I can still fight,” you growled.

“The vice-captain from the Third Division is already on the scene! He can handle the kaiju!” the officer said.

“He can’t fight large-class Kaijus alone. Let me provide him backup,” you pushed back.

“Listen to Officer Takashi, L/N,” Hoshina's voice cut through the comms. "In your current condition, you won't be much help anyway.”

Tsk. Just hearing his voice irritates me.

Then, you heard him switch to a private channel.

“Please,” he pleads softly.

You closed your eyes, steadying your breath.

“Officer L/N standing down.” you conceded.

"Good girl," Hoshina said, lowering his voice into the private channel. His Kansai dialect enunciating the last syllable.

“Roger! Medics are already heading your way, Officer L/N,” Officer Takashi replied.

You finally allowed yourself to collapse on the ground, the world slowly fading to black.

When you woke up, you found yourself in a hospital bed. You looked around your new environment, noticing a vase full of fresh flowers and an empty chair to your right.

[♡]

When the meeting adjourned, you lingered behind, ensuring you were the last to leave to avoid a certain vice-captain.

As you turned down the corridor, you heard a familiar voice called out from behind you.

“L/N, can I talk to you for a moment?”

You didn’t bother turning around to find the owner of the voice; you knew that voice all too well.

Memories of his soft whimpers flooded your mind.

“Please y/n. Just one more. Give me one more round. You still have it in you right? Such a good girl.” he purred. You were too fucked dumb to think of a response. All you could hear was the sound of your moans and his sex ramming into yours. “Let me come inside yeah? you feel so fucking good.”

You snapped out of your thoughts, clenching your fists. ”I believe we've covered everything in the briefing. If you want to discuss something else, please schedule a meeting in my office,” you said, saluting and preparing to leave when he interrupted.

“No,” he said firmly.

You stopped in your tracks. “Of course, he will say that.”

“We have more to discuss…about you. You were so reckless yesterday,” he continued.

“Reckless? I would call it a split-second decision,” you snapped back.

The ‘split-second decision’ you referred to was jumping onto the 30-foot kaiju two days ago. You were moments away from watching your platoon mate get incinerated alive by a 1000-degree laser shot down from the kaiju’s mouth— if you can count the fingers coming from the grotesque hole in its face a mouth. Your hands trembled around your rifle, breath coming in shallow gasps. Slowly, fear turned into adrenaline. With a surge of determination, you sprang into action. You sprinted up the walls of the nearest building. “Faster! You have to be faster.” Once in the air, you got a clear shot of its nape. You quickly aimed and fired your rifle at it, the blast tearing away a large chunk of flesh, revealing its core. But that wasn’t enough. You darted around its legs, exhausting yourself by taking as many shots at any exposed flesh as possible, aiming to restrict its mobility.

“If that thick skull of yours remembers, without me being ‘reckless’, we wouldn’t have found the core and wear it down,” you said.

“Not at the cost of your life! We would have found it eventually,” he argued.

“If not mine, then it could have been one of my platoon’s. Or yours," you said, looking down.

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a flicker of softness in his eyes. He took a deep breath before continuing.

“It’s not just ambushing the kaiju by yourself. You exhausted yourself saving everyone yesterday and still wanted to run over to back me up. You’re overworking yourself, y/n.” he switched back to the name he used in private. “You used to be so cautious, calculating your movements before making them. What changed?”

You. You made me change.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed. Since our separation, you’ve been bottling your emotions. Again. You get agitated and restless easily, staying up later to train or finish your work. You’ve been shutting yourself in your office for days. If not for the recent Kaiju attack, you wouldn’t have come out of your shut hole for 2 weeks straight.”

You narrowed your eyes at him.

“What does my behavior have to do with you? Last time I remember, unless I was a walking kaiju, you had no interest in me,” you said, refusing to turn around.

You planted your feet firmly because you knew deep down, one look at him would make you lose it and crawl back to him. You couldn’t afford to make that mistake again.

You stepped forward, about to walk away, when you felt his hand grasp your wrist—the same calloused hand that used to caress the small of your back as you were talking to him, listening attentively while gazing softly at you.

“y/n,” he pleads softly. “Please turn around and look at me. I’m worried about you.”

A moment of silence hung between you.

“I…I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend. I continuously prioritized work over you, so much so that I ended up pushing myself away from you. I’m sorry for how it ended. But I—” He stopped himself, swallowing hard. “I just want you to know that every relationship is different…but ours was my favorite.”

You blink back your tears furiously, tearing your arm from his grasp. “I can't let him tear down my walls. After all my effort to keep it up.”

“Don’t act like you know me,” you said, venom dripping from every word.

Finally, you turned to look him in the eye for the first time during the whole interaction. He was about to let out a sigh of relief until he noticed your slightly red eyes and the fierce glare. The intensity of your glare combined with your words sent a shiver down his spine.

Without another word, you saluted and strode down the hallway.

As you walk away, you hear a quiet, almost inaudible sigh escaping from him.

As much as you want to hide your feelings behind guarded walls, you know yourself too well. You can't keep up the facade for long. You’re an emotionally reserved person. Just because you don’t let your emotions out in front of others, doesn’t mean you don’t struggle to hold everything inside.

For fear that if someone sees through your defenses, they'll realize just how vulnerable you truly are

A skill mastered and developed from your constantly fighting parents.

In recent weeks, you've been finding ways to stay grounded. You avoid eye contact, clench your fists once a small memory comes up, and you breathe a little bit more deeper than usual.

These mechanisms have been working. Everyone around you, your closest friends and your family hadn’t noticed it.

After five months of keeping it in, five months of suppressing unprocessed emotions, and five fucking months of pretending everything was fucking perfect in front of everyone. And it took that bastard one minute to unravel it all.

Somehow, Hoshina managed to pick up the signs of you ever so falling apart from a 15-minute meeting. His squinty eyes watched silently as you stared into blank space during a superior's briefing, your small hands clenching into fists intermittently, and noticed the slight, deeper inhales you took.

[♡]

You spent another night in your office, buried in paperwork. Ironically, you had finished it all the night before, but with no new assignments, you decided to look through them again.

This had become a routine occurrence.

You find that it makes better use of your time (than laying awake in your bed, tears soaking your pillow)

As your eyes scanned the words on the pages, you started to feel yourself not making sense of each word. You feel your lids getting heavier and heavier as you repeatedly reread the blurry paragraph. Inevitably, sleep overtook you.

Then, abruptly, you snapped awake.

You couldn’t pinpoint what had stirred you.

As you shifted your hand to rest your head against it, you felt something heavy weighing against your shoulders.

“That’s weird. I don’t recall carrying my blanket.” you thought, glancing over to the couch where it previously was.

To be continued.

[ryescapades]

GIRL IM DEAD??????

PLEASWJDJHD I CANTT LMAO uhhhhhhh yeah .. sorry for off-ing u i guess…..?????

[nyarumie]

Ruined Flowers, Beautiful Flowers.

hoshina soshiro x f!reader — 3.6k words. Mentions of stabbing, reader had an outburst, attempt at angst, established friendship, extreme fluff at the end because i cant stand making my characters suffer. Not proofread!

Author's Note: It's my first time writing something involving drama, feedbacks are highly appreciated! I tried my best and got carried away with the length. 💔

Author's Reply: A request from anon here. Kinda hit way too close to home when you said reader is afraid of falling in love 😭 (also guys pls send me Narumi stuff too I want to make more content for my guy)

Ask box is open! Also cross-posted on ao3.

Cheers erupted from your platoon, exhausted strength from the fight seemingly replenished as you dealt the final blow to the Honju once again. Their eyes sparkled with victory, anticipation filling the air as they immediately chatter to plan another celebration for your win. Familiar words of praise reach your ears, but none of them truly reach your heart. What's there to praise about when you're just doing work as expected?

You offer a soft smile to your platoon who is now approaching you, finally engaging yourself in chatter. You were never one for loud occasions, but you have a reputation to keep. They went on about your elegant strikes in battle, your speed and agility that beats even the fastest of lightning, and the reputable “silent, but deadly” strides you have.

“Man, I sure would always keep my distance from our platoon leader! Might get caught up in her Kaiju kill with how silent she attacks, y'know?” one of them joked, a series of awed agreements emerging from the others.

That's right, keep your distance. Getting too close… might just kill anyone.

You close your eyes as you listen, basking in the enthusiasm exuding from your officers. To them, the hushed strides you've perfected in battle is nothing more than a technique. To you, it's just the one thing that keeps your peace, and no one will be able to understand it the way you do.

Except, there's this one person—too persistent for your liking, so much more than your comrades asking you to mentor them. Scratch that, he's not persistent; he's simply way too highly attentive, it scares you just how much about you he already had figured out.

From a distance stands Hoshina Soshiro, the esteemed Vice Captain of the division you belong to. His watchful eyes never miss anything. You fail to ignore his all too familiar peering gaze even as you try to indulge yourself in the antics of your platoon. You don't understand, you never will. Why does he desperately want to unravel you? Closing your eyes really was the best option. That way, you'll avoid making eye contact with him lest he sees through you again, as if he's starting to pick up the puzzle pieces bit by bit. Curiosity getting the best of you, you peeked one eye open to see what he's up to.

Ah, he's now making his way to you. Well, damn him.

Concluding that you have no escape from what's about to come, you sighed and bid your platoon a (short) farewell, leaving them the promise of a celebratory feast tonight. You walked and met him halfway.

Vice Captain Hoshina was already grinning from ear to ear when you neared him, as if he wasn't mentally piercing through your own mind moments ago. You pouted. In an instant, his arm is heavily draped over your shoulder, his other hand playfully ruffling your hair. 

A series of complaints were heard from you, only causing him to let out devilish laughs and made an even more mess of your hair. 

“Vice Captain! It took me almost an hour to fix and style my hair, and we have a celebration to attend later!” you complained, begging him to stop.

“Fine, fine! Ya did another excellent job today. No wonder Captain Ashiro always trusts you a hella bunch.” he said, satisfied with today's operation. “However…” 

And there he goes.

He stood too near you, still hearing clearly enough despite how hushed his voice became. “You're a lot worse today. Still not spillin' the beans? I'm your closest friend here, ya know?”

You looked away from him, finding a car ruined to smithereens apparently far more interesting than whatever this is right now. “Must be your imagination. The Honju just so happened to be tougher today.”

Lie. Today's Honju had a lower fortitude compared to last time. You both know that. And you both know there's no fooling him from what he saw.

You stood atop the Kaiju's corpse after neutralizing it. Back facing everyone, holding your head up high. To the rest of the Division, you were basking in your victory, trying to keep your breath steady after all the action that took place. But there was no fooling Soshiro's eyes.

His keen gaze traveled over your entire figure. Breath ragged, chest heaving as if deprived of oxygen, a clenched grip on your thin, sharp sword forged akin to that of a rapier—in contrast with your lax hand holding your pistol, careful to not fire a shot. You looked like you were in complete agony and exasperation. Soshiro knows that you were heavily sobbing. Silently. Alone. Exactly how you do things your way.

You were only snapped out of your unrest when cheers finally erupted from your platoon. The smile you offer, to a stranger's eyes, is soft and gentle. To him, it's sad—as if it was a struggle for you to smile wide without hesitancy. Your deadly silence in battle wasn't so silent today at all. He can hear it far too well, that each slash of your blade and each shot of your pistol is accompanied with restlessness, each attack heavier than the last.

The Honju has been reported to have no vitals detected, but you kept slashing and shooting, ‘just in case’. Outrageous. You were literally taking out whatever storm is in your head to the Honju's corpse. Not that he minded the Honju, but he cared for you. He is your friend, you can pour your heart and mind out on him instead of a corpse of a monster. Why won't you? Why is the inside of your mind much more different from what you show others? How do you do it?

He doesn't understand. Or maybe he does, but you won't let him in. He wants to be with you, even at your lowest. And he's already failing.

“I see. If the Honju is indeed tougher today,” he started, “then report to me later, Platoon Leader. Post-celebratory report will do. Take it easy for now.” 

Was he upset? He rarely addresses you by your position. You carefully turned your head back to him, afraid that he's finally fed up with your bullshit. You're insufferable. Maybe one day he'll ask you to serve another Division. But instead, you see him grace you with a real, soft smile. It makes you want to cry.

'Take it easy for now.' You wish you could unhear it. You hate how easy his words always go through you. How can you take it easy when you try so hard to not be a burden? You don't want him to know any more than he already does.

“...I've no need for rest. But thank you.” You finally feel the tiredness creeping its way through your system.

Post-neutralization banquets are rare, happening annually at most. Somehow, your platoon members managed to smooth talk their way in securing an approval for tonight's celebration. For what, you don't know.

Everyone had their eyes on you when you entered the hall, bright smiles and expectant faces greeting you. This unnerved you, knowing full well what they're requesting with their doe, puppy eyes.

“Ahem. If you're expecting a heartwarming speech, I'm not the person for the job. You all should wait for the Vice Captain for that.” you said, earning a handful of groans from your members.

A hand suddenly lightly ruffled your hair, an action you’ve grown quite accustomed to. “Wait no more! Allow me to handle things, then!” the Vice Captain cheerfully said. Taking this as your cue to sit down, you excused yourself from him, feeling his slightly disappointed gaze trailing you as you sit.

Cheers echoed from the team as he finished his short spiel, everyone’s hunger evident as they hurriedly fill their plates with food. Your tablemates are no different, they're rushing here and there to get the best pieces of meat and pour each other some drinks. You decided to wait, not wanting to contribute to the mess the hall has become.

A plate filled with juicy meat and a bowl of your favorite stew was placed in front of you. Now someone is also taking up your space? About to reprimand whoever placed them in your eating area, you looked up to see that it was just the Vice Captain.

“Eat up. Keep waitin’ for the chaos to calm down and ya will be left with nothin’ to munch on.” He sat beside you, carrying his own set of food.

“Thanks. But I can grab my own fill just fine.” That's what you said, but still started eating what he gave you.

“Mhm… Just accept it in earnest. You never happily accepted any help I offered ya.”

“That’s because no one can give me the help I need.” you absentmindedly said, almost mumbling to yourself. Soshiro remained silent, now looking at you instead of his food. Maybe you shouldn't have said that. “... Let's just eat.” 

As the end of the celebration approached, he wanted to test the waters; he got up and collected the plastic flowers adorning the tables, wrapping them around a ribbon he miraculously spotted somewhere—his own version of a small, makeshift bouquet. 

He sat down beside you again, earning your attention. You raised your brow at him upon seeing the makeshift bouquet in his hand, a silent question about what he's up to.

“Ta-da! They aren't the real deal, but I did a pretty good job, won't ya say? This one's yours, ya look good with it.” He made a gesture for you to take the flowers, which you did, studying it closely for a while.

“Vice Captain, you shouldn't be taking the establishment’s props.” you said, frowning. “We should get back to your office. Let's get today's report over with.” 

Internally sighing, he doesn't know if you're purposely acting dense or just straight up ignoring his subtle advances. Maybe he needs to tell you outright. You once told him that words and actions come hand-in-hand.

It's surprisingly cold tonight even through the heat of the celebrations. He went outside the hall, leaning against the corridor’s wall to wait for you. You told him you have unfinished business to take care of, which is scolding your far too drunk officers who took their drinking competition to another level. Groans and wails from the inside resounded through the door, probably from officers begging you to lighten their punishment. 

Finally, he saw you stepping out of the hall. No makeshift bouquet in hand spotted. “Where’d ya put it?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

“Oh, the flowers? I told you we’re not supposed to take them. So I kinda dismantled the ribbon and put them back in place…” you said, looking away guiltily.

That surprisingly stung, despite knowing you didn't want to intentionally hurt him. He knows you’d leave it there, but dismantling them is another. He struggled putting it all together, after all.

“Makes sense. Let's get the report done.” he smiled, ruffling your hair again. This time, it's his way of saying ‘it’s okay, don't feel guilty about it’.

You threw him a look of concern, the playfulness absent from his smile. “I didn't—” 

“Are ya cold?” he suddenly asked. Before you can even answer, he removed his work jacket and draped it over your shoulders. “Please put the sleeves on. Yer hands are shakin’ so bad.”

Oh, you didn't even notice. Silently, you put them on as he asked. It's so… large. And oddly comforting. You hated it, somehow. The sleeves extend way beyond your hands and it would look like a mini dress if zipped up.

Satisfied with this, the Vice Captain started walking, pace slow. You followed suit, opting to walk behind him. You looked confused. You feel overwhelmed. Why is he always doing so much? You prefer your friendly banters, the idiotic laughter you share with each other after stupid musings; you dislike the foreign feeling and lingering intention in each action he does towards you. You don't understand.

He once gave you a poetry book about flowers, saying it was like a reflection of yourself. It wasn't. You told him to stop mocking you.

You never asked for company on boring work days, but he was somehow finding his way towards you, offering an invitation to train new recruits. He knew you loved helping others, imparting your knowledge and watching them grow. You turned him down, saying he's more than capable of mentoring them himself.

Once, you were feeling a bit too competitive. Your platoon urged you on, daring you to make a bet with the Vice Captain. The losing platoon must prepare a banquet according to the winning platoon’s wishes. He can hit you in your sword sparring as many times as he can, but hit him once in the given time limit and you win. But you just so happen to miraculously strike him at the last second. He lost on purpose. But you didn't attend the banquet.

Then a tragedy occured. A citizen hiding from the Honju was left undetected, causing you to accidentally inflict a fatal wound on them as you attacked the Honju. Had you known, you would've prioritized their safety. He didn't have to cover this up. He was there. He should be reprimanding you. You were at a loss then.

You bump into his figure, letting out a sound of surprise. You were already inside his office? Perhaps your mind has been too occupied all the way here, you don't even know if he said something on the way here or when he opened the door for you.

Soshiro looked too serious at the moment. You shouldn't have agreed to report to him, because the Honju being tougher today is bullshit. This leaves you with nothing to report, and god you want to miraculously vanish into thin air at this instant.

“What's goin’ on in that li’l head of yours? It's unlike ya to get so out of focus.” he asked, crossing his arms.

“Vice Captain. I’d like to proceed with the report, please.”

“But ya don't have anything to report. I saw it well with my own two eyes.”

He can barely hear you, your voice only a mere whisper. “...Then report to me instead, Soshiro.”

He walked closer to you, your breath almost stopping. Why is it like this?

"What do ya want to know? I'll give you everything." 

Your fists clenched in frustration at his words. He's doing this on purpose, saying something that totally means another.

“Why… Why do you insist on staying by my side? Why do you care so much? I don't understand. You're my friend, but you're doing so much for just a friend. Why do you do these things? The book—the poetry book you once gave me, saying it reminded you of me—it doesn't make sense! It's full of flowery words, it speaks of beauty, but none of those are me. You’ve seen what mess of a person I am. You say you’d give me everything, but I can't even give you a single thing, Soshiro!”

You grabbed the front of his shirt, lowering your head as you failed to stop the tears from flowing.

“You should've let me rot in bed when you found me in a sickly state. Should've reported me to the higher ups for making a careless mistake. Should've distanced yourself from me, I did nothing but unintentionally hurt you when all you wanted was to look out for me.” 

You bit your lip, not wanting to spill more than you should've. A warm pair of arms went around you, causing you to cry harder, your body relaxing against your wishes.

“I see. Do my actions confuse you?” he softly asked. 

“...I can't accept them.” 

“That doesn't answer my question.” 

Still sobbing, you answered, “I don't know. You confuse me. I don't want to rely on anyone. I don't know what to make of them. I hate the lingering, unspoken intentions. I hate not understanding. I hate pushing you away, but it feels overwhelming when you're too close. I hate the comforting feeling you give me. Please don't waste your energy on me. I’m filled with dirt, my hands are covered in more blood than you know about.”

You’ve never spilled this much before, Soshiro noted. He thinks that's a lot to unpack, but he has all the time in his hands to walk you through it. You were a ticking time bomb, the impending explosion only delayed by taking out your anguish on all the Kaiju you’ve slayed. 

Soshiro caressed the back of your head, speaking. “Then I’ll help ya understand. I like you and I like bein’ with ya, even if you think otherwise. If you don't wanna rely on me, then don't. But I’ll be here when ya need me. I’ll walk you through everythin’ slowly if you’ll allow me. And I still think you're as beautiful as the flowers I keep tellin’ you about.” 

He tried holding your hand. You pulled it away when you felt his, but he insisted. “And these bloodied hands ya speak of, tell me more, please? The stains might be impossible for you to wash away, but I’ll gladly hold ‘em still.” 

He isn't the type to deliberately fool others, even if he humors himself with being a menace to others. You looked at him and was met with surprise as you were met with the soft pair of red eyes and gentle smile you’ve deniably always found comfort in. Were you deserving of this, even after unintentionally turning him away?

You let out a shaky breath, bracing yourself to recall a scenario that has haunted your mind for years. 

“A Kaiju attack. Was a yonju. It was small, but I can tell it's dangerous. Grabbed anything sharp, anything heavy I can get my hands on. I closed my eyes and kept swaying my makeshift weapon around, in hopes of defending myself. I know my sister was hiding somewhere, but it all happened too fast. I heard a piercing scream right in front of me. The yonju had found her somewhere and used her as its shield. I didn't know that even a yonju could think of that. I… accidentally stabbed my sister. She died. I should’ve kept my eyes open. I was weak and was only 14 then. Today's neutralization location is the exact same spot where it happened.”

Tears filled your eyes again. “The day… when I accidentally hit a hiding civilian. I felt my mind shut down. The same scenario replayed over and over again. Had it not been for you, both I and the civilian would've been long gone now. I was only able to take a breath when they got stabilized by the medical team.”

“I’m sorry. I understand if you don't want to involve yourself with me anymore. But thank you for… being my friend.” 

Instead of letting you go, you felt his arm wrap even tighter. “I told ya, didn't I? I’ll walk with ya through everythin'. What happened then doesn't make you any less of a person in my eyes. You’ve saved more lives than any of us can count. I’m sure yer sister will be immensely proud of ya.” 

"And! I haven't kept my end of the deal for our bet. Ya didn't attend the banquet for it." 

How persistent. But he's always been like this. It comforts you, how he's still being Soshiro even after your heavy outburst.

You cleared your throat. “You said you like me.”

“Mhm? And what about it?” 

“...I’m sorry for unintentionally pushing you away, or if I was rude sometimes. I didn't know how to handle it.” 

He let out a laugh of relief. “Dear, that was nothin’ at all! Ya don't have to reciprocate, I only wanted to do what I can for ya. That won't change anytime soon.”

Back to his playful self, he let you go and squished your tear-stained cheeks. “I’ll go with ya anywhere, even if it's straight to hell.” 

What a fast turnaround of mood. You don't mind it, though. There's no use drowning in your anguish. You wanted to get better.

You frowned. “Don't want you to go to hell, ‘Shiro.” 

“Was kiddin’. Get some rest?” 

You tiredly nodded at him, eyes heavy. “Vice Captain. I’m officially giving you a chance. At the same time, I’ll start getting better.”

He shot you an incredulous look. “My title? Really now? Fine then, Platoon Leader, as a reward for taking your first step, let me bestow this upon ya. Close your eyes.”

What is he up to now? You’ll punch him with no hesitation if he kisses you on your lips.

You felt something cold wrap around your wrist, his own hand gripping the back of yours.

“Open up.” He held up your hand to your face level. It's a floral bracelet. He always loves associating you with flowers. You don't understand why, but someday you know you will.

“Perfect match, ain’t it? Now, for the cherry on top…”

His next move took you by surprise. With no hesitation, he kissed your palm. “There. I hope that wasn't too much?”

Receiving no reply, his eyes snapped to your face, worried if he overstepped his newly established boundary.

The sight that greeted him was something to behold. You were looking at anything but him, unable to control the redness of your face. Ah, so that was quite the shot to your heart then?

“Hello? Earth to you?”

“I’m fine! It's okay! Just… not used to it. Do give me a warning next time for my sake, please. And we're not yet in a relationship, mind you.” you said, shyness still evident.

He heartily laughed, still not letting go of your hand. “I’ll walk ya back to your room now. The princess needs her long needed quality sleep.”

And sure enough, it was indeed the most peaceful night you’ve ever had.

[elliada]

Alternate Universe: In which Kafka self-sacrifices during the final battle.

[iamjellyfish]

HOSHINA SOSHIRO | Chase after fate (idk what to name this fic) ❥A/n: I genuinely want to write angst, extra angst, and multiple angst tropes in one fic, so this one is to drabble up something angst so I got fed. ❥Summary: You, a ghost of his past, haunt him even if he is in an arranged marriage and thought he had moved on years ago. Who knows your fading and fluttering image held his heart hostage? Yet when he managed to hold you close, he found out you already forgot everything. ❥Trope: arrange marriage (Soshiro and someone else), you fall in love too soon - he realizes how much he loves you too late, you get in an accident and lose your memory. ❥Warning: THE ANGST DEMON HOLD MY HAND AND WRITE THIS, angst (a lot of angst), unclear ending, Soshiro underestimate his heart.

Sometimes when he looks at you, something about you resembles a butterfly, so beautiful yet can't see its own beauty... Sometimes he found himself recalling old memories... just something small like how you always prefer to sit near windows at the cafeteria or in a car, how even after months of training you still sometimes have small mistakes that usually only rookie had. Small and insignificant memories. At least he thinks so. He is now a married man with the responsibility he must bear. Even if it's a loveless marriage, he still needs to do his part because his wife has done her part which is to take care of the house while he is working. You probably can't handle being a housewife, you can't cook and get distracted by unimportant things.

You and him used to dating, yet deep down he knows that the moment he chose his work over you, he already lost you. It was 0:23 on a Friday, you and he were on a mission and you got injured. Yet, he has to chase down the honju while you wait for help, despite you being afraid and begging him to be there... He was gone. You knew he had an arranged marriage yet you were so in love with him, you two tried to stop it from happening but in the end, only you still trying to make things work. You know and understand for Soshiro but a girl could only take too much before she broke. Glasses were broken and your bandage hand was bleeding. At the time, Soshiro, wasn't serious about the relationship, in his heart, this is probably a doomed relationship from the start. You were the moth that flew into the flames but refused to be stopped by him. "Soshiro, do you think you love me?" You said, blood still dripping, Soshiro's hands reach out to help you yet you push him away. Of course, Soshiro loves you, but in his heart, he chose work over you, which means he had the accept the arranged marriage between clans. He was waiting for this ship to sink eventually yet he yearned to keep it afloat as long as he could. Even if it's just another moment. "Of course darling, I love you! Now please, let's fix your bleeding hand and clean the glasses okay?" You let him fix your bandages and just look down into the broken glasses, you wonder, if this is your fault. It's you that was the moth that flew into this dumpster fire, you know that he would choose work over you yet you chase after him. The days were you laughing at your friends for "I can fix him" come crashing down on you. Soshiro recall the days when you would get hurt in a mission and he would visit you in the hospital with your favorite foods and would lecture you about keeping yourself safe. "Y/n, I don't want you to get hurt, even if it's to protect me." He said, that day you jump into the kaiju's attack to shield him from it. He never told you but that day, your eyes looked really beautiful, they looked like they held stars in them. He found himself brushing your strands of hair out of the way for him to see your eyes more clearly. "It's fine, it's you that I would get hurt for! Every injury from protecting you is worth it!" You say that with a warm smile, it gave him butterflies yet he would push it down into the abyss of his heart because he was sure that this wouldn't work out, yet he can't tell you that. Eventually, his mind wanders to the memories of you breaking up with him on the day you quit being a soldier. He thinks your reason for quitting is something about your injury that requires you a long time to heal which affects your ability to fight. He didn't want to relive that memory again but he recalled that your hands were oddly cold that day, and your bandages were a bit off. He would fix it but you already leave. He was pulled back to the present when his wife, who is so different from you poked him. Soshiro treated her how he wasn't able to treat you, Soshiro made sure she wouldn't have to shoulder the doubts and the loneliness alone. Even if they're just friend now, he knows that she tried her best to keep things working out. "Soshiro, are you alright? Still thinking about that girl?"

She said, her fingers trailing down the lines in the book. She knows who you are, in fact, she met you, yet you were kind and understanding to her. She respected you, because even if fate is cruel to you, you still want to help her, Soshiro from this tragic event called "loveless marriage". She supports Soshiro in chasing you, yet she knows that Soshiro has insecurities that make him push away his feelings for you, and make him not understand his own feelings. And now you were a fluttering image haunting him, a beautiful illusion in his mind, and an unmovable calming ghost. In his dreams, you were always waiting for him, dancing so graciously while everything around you was dead calm. Your eyes held their sadness and blamed him, he doesn't mind, you should be blaming him. He always imagines you wearing a wedding dress that catches his eye one day, if he can, he would want to hold you your dream wedding. "...I'm sorry. I shouldn't." He said, looking at her, he felt guilty that he had to make her feel this way. Then he stood up after realizing what time is it. He recalls how you always told him about how you save money by buying stuff at certain hours for deals, he didn't understand much but seeing you talking about it made him happy. "Let me make up for you by buying the groceries alright?" She looks a bit disappointed and then smiles at him. She wanted him to go to you, to finally wife you up but the man seems to not understand all the hints she throwing these years. "I hope you will finally buy the courage to chase after the girl. The last time I saw her, she was still waiting for you." Soshiro just waved at that, pretending to not care yet deep down, those words surfaced feelings in him that he was not ready to face. Then he found himself wandering a little in the mall, wandering to shops that he thought you would like, Soshiro's eyes kept looking at clothes, and accessories that would fit you so well. And there you are, his bittersweet memories, you were here. But you don't acknowledge his presence, your beautiful eyes are looking around, those empty eyes. You look so lost, so out of place, just like in his dreams. "Y/n..." Soshiro's body betrayed him, and despite not wanting to talk to you, he still moved toward you. His heart beat fast and his hands yearn to hold you close. Yet you looked at him confused, you moved back a little, frowning at his calling. "I'm sorry... Do I know you?" You said, those words of yours froze him. Soshiro mind was racing, he thought you probably hated him and wanted to do nothing with him. The thought of you forgetting about him makes his heart clench. This is the moment he wishes it all was just a nightmare. "Don't you remember? I'm your vice-captain Hoshina!" He tried his best to do his signature grin, your eyes look into him and you clench a part of your jacket while frowning. Then you finally spoke. "Oh, I'm sorry, I just got into an accident and lost my memory, you were probably my friend. So... How are you doing?" You smile warmly at him but before he can reply, you are already dragged away by your friends because you wander off without telling them. He just stood there for a moment. While buying groceries and paying for them, his mind keeps replaying the conversation with you, he is deep in his thoughts thinking about a future with you, about how there might be a chance he can patch things up with you. "I hope you will finally buy the courage to chase after the girl. The last time I saw her, she was still waiting for you."

He recalls his wife saying that. When he goes home, Soshiro realizes today was a snowy day, on the way home, the memories of you playing in the snow happily without the care in the world replay in his mind. He found himself would die if he couldn't spend the rest of his life by your side.

Your fading images of playing with the snow had made him feel warm. He swore to himself that he would be chasing after that image even if this time, he was the moth flying into the flames. "Soshiro, I build a snowman that looks like you!"