#do u know how hard it is trying to find references when every google image result is out to get me personally. its so hard out here fr

[hinamie]

i fear i can never date a man bc none of them will ever be makoto tachibana

[celebritytgcaptions]

Requests (5/23/2021)

Hi lovelies! I’ve been getting so many requests & I’m working hard to get all of them in the queue. Thanks for sending them my way! I’m writing to let you know that the queue is now full until the end of June. I was able to get every requests from my May 8th post in there except for a few. Requests from May 8th for captions featuring Katy Perry, Jenna Fischer, Marisol Nichols, Addison Rae, Ariana Grande, Erin Kellyman, Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish, Jhene Aiko, & Kirstin Maldonado will be posted in early July.

But there have been an absolute ton of requests since then too, yay! So I’m listing all the requests that I haven’t gotten to below. If you made a request but don’t see it below that might be for a few reasons. 1) I’ve written it already and it will be posted in June. 2) It’s one of the requests I posted on May 8th so I won’t talk about it here. 3) I considered it a demand not a request (for example, I received two that said “Anything with,” that wasn’t really a request just telling me to do it. Sorry if this bothers some of you but it is an issue with me so make sure you word your requests AS requests). Either way, thanks for the love, lovelies! :D

Anonymous said:

Could you do one with either Kelley O’hara or Alex Morgan from the USWNT about a guy soccer player watching the US win the world cup and then want to be them or something like that?

I actually know who both those are (shockingly enough, I don’t really follow sports) so sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Could you do lorengrey captions? She’s so hot

Sorry sweetie, don’t know who that is. :(

Anonymous said:

Hi I just had an idea for a game you could do. It could be where someone has to say as a boy what they’re like physically in stages. So first stage is hair color for example, second stage could be height, third stage could be body type, etc. An example would be if I was a black hair, short height, thick body type, I would match up with someone like Nicki Minaj. Just an idea which you could extend on. Hopefully it makes sense. I appreciate you!

I actually have a game like this mapped out called “Build a Sissy” where you choose age, hair color, and bra size, but it would take a LOT of work to make so I haven’t written it yet. Maybe some day though. :)

Anonymous said:

I would love to see a Tori Kelly caption. Her hair and body are not typical but beautiful for a white girl. I say that last sentence respectfully. I think having a caption with her would be great

Sure thing! Tori Kelly is a cutie. :)

Anonymous said:

Ok I'm not sure if u'll know these 2 cuz even I had to look them up for the names but anne dudek and maitland ward theyre the 2 blonde sisters from white chicks not sure if uve seen it but if u can could u make a caption for them please?

I DO know who they are! I’ve been thinking about doing a White Chicks caps because there’s a lot of cute looks in that movie (especially for Busy Phillips who I just love) so sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Could u do Yvette nicole brown from community? Id like to see some big girl love

Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

I already know that this request is probably gonna be a No but I still have to ask whats the ruling on GCI enhanced celebrities like Taylor swift from Cats?  Or is that too much like "Furry" stuff. Now I'm Feeling this will be a No for multiple reasons

So it is not an issue with CGI “enhanced” celebrities but for Cats it is because I do not have a Furry fetish and I get uncomfortable thinking about writing caps for it. But I write caps with “manips” all the time (photoshopped images of celebs) so I’m not ruling out CGI enhanced celebs all together.

Anonymous said:

Can you do one of Lindsey stirling? And for the story can it be a guy trying to learn Violin but he cant seem to focus he even tried hot female teachers but it didnt work then he gets a male teacher than he starts focusing and wanting to please the teacher he becomes a sissy sorry its a long request

Sounds fun, sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Hi big fan and I think you’ve been doing amazing work. Is there anyway you could do a story about a guy who loses a bet to sorority girl and is forced to get his nails painted and turned into a girl? I love the idea of having a boys nails painted against his will. I’d love one with Selena Gomez but if you think another celeb would be better I leave that cumpletely to you.

Totally! This sounds fun. :D

Anonymous said:

Can you do thelma and Louise?

I’m assuming you mean Geena Davis & Susan Sarandon from Thelma & Louise so yes. Yes I can. :)

Anonymous said:

Can you do a caption from the movie bridesmaids? Like when theyre all trying on dressess or something?

I haven’t seen Bridesmaids (I know I know) but I can try something. :)

Anonymous said:

it would be super cool if you could do some more games! They’re my fav

Glad you like them! As long as I’m not on hiatus, games will be posted every second Saturday. I’ve already got two set for June. :)

Anonymous said:

Hey huge fan of your recent work and super excited about new caps!! Do you think you could do one about a college guy who drops out in pursuit of being a stand up comedian, but the comedy club needs a female comic so they turn him into a girl? I was thinking maybe Nikki Glaser, she so funny and sexy. Thanks can’t wait to see all your new stuff!!

Oooo, Nikki Glaser is great. Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Can you make a caption about a guy who makes fun of curvy and thicc women, where the women get their revenge and turn the guy into Nia Jax?

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Hi Me again on the topic of the assembly line worker caption sequel if you do it i just an idea for the story like before depicting the sissies "first time"  but you can have it be that the coworker doesnt know and is telling everyone about the chick he slept with last night and the sissy is just thinking "if only they knew"idk i thought it was good anyways thank u again

So this message is in reference to a sequel caption that was requested & that I did write and will be posted in June. I’m sharing it here to let the anon know that I wrote the cap BEFORE I got this second request so there will be a followup but the story will be different. I hope that’s ok.

Anonymous said:

Hi idk if u watch wrestling or not I see u have some captions of wwe womens wrestlers but im not sure have far ur knowledge of it is? Could u do a caption of Rhea Ripley if u know her?

I have never seen a single episode of WWE, I do not watch wrestling, and yet somehow every time someone requests a wrestler I know who she is. Don’t ask me how because I do not know. Anyways, yeah I can do a Rhea Ripley one. :)

Anonymous said:

Could you do a caption about a janitor for sissy co. That finds out the strange goings on at work and tries to blow the whistle on the whole operation but is caught and turned into a sissy maid for the sissy co. Corporate office abit specific I know but ive been thinking on that awhile however u do it will be perfect thanks

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Could you do katheryn Hahn from wandavision specifically the 80s look with the Big hair and aerobics outfit

Oooo, sounds nice. I’ll type that up for sure. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi big fan of your caps!! Do you think you could do a cap where a football player wants to go to the NFL but gets hurt, so they turn him into a female commentator, maybe Lauren Rutledge? If you don’t know her, she’s been a college football reporter for awhile and was also a former Miss Florida. Anyways I just think any guy would be lucky to be turned into her and I love your caps keep up the great work!!

Me: *googles Lauren Rutledge to see if it’s who I’m thinking of* How do I know who this is? Anyways, yes I can write this. :)

...for some reason there are no GIFs of her though so I’m just gonna move on.

Anonymous said:

Hi I'm the one that requested the LONG list of celebs I'm still really sorry about that I didnt realize how many it actually was till I looked back so I wanna retract some for your sake tell ya what if you havent done any already just do the ones that are specifically marked (as in the ones detailed by movie or show theyre in) the ones that are just names you can leave out i knoe its still alot but hopefully that takes some weight off of ya sorry again

You don’t have to be sorry! Like I said, in the future I’d ask that folks limit requests to no more than 3 celebs at a time but you didn’t know that. I’d never said that before. I typed up every celebrity and they’re going to be sprinkled in during June. Hope you like them! :)

Anonymous said:

Hello ^^ I love your work. Can u make a caption with the name "jules" and Ariana Grande please? Thank you

Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Hey, not really an ask, but something I needed to share

I'm the one that asked for the Stephanie Beatriz caption from a whole back, and I absolutely loved how it turned out. Each time you roll out a new caption is like a small thrill to me and I read them right as they're released.

Now this wouldn't be an ask if I wasn't asking something, right? Well, next month sees the release of the "In the Heights" movie, and there's an opportunity there to do a series of captions using stephanie Beatriz from that same movie.

In conclusion, I love your captions so much, you're amazing!

Awww, this is such a sweet message. Thank you! And YAAASSSSS! Ever since the first trailer for In the Heights dropped I was like, “I must write a caption with her in this!” So you can imagine how fun it’s been waiting this entire time. *eye twitches*. We’ll have to wait until the movie comes out for me to be sure I can find a good image but this IS a caption I want to write. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi I just recently came across your blog and fell in love with it!! The caption with the football player being turned into Bella Thorne is one of my favorites!! I’d love so much if you could do a sequel or something to that cap it was so amazing and I need to know what else happens to “her”. I’m not sure if this is possible or if you even do sequels but this cap was great and I look forward to all the others!!!

Glad you like it! I’m always looking for sequel captions to write on Throwback Thursday so you’ll get this for sure. :)

Anonymous said:

Hey big fan! Do you think you could do a caption where a short guy gets made fun of by all his girl friends for how short he is? Ariana Grande is fairly short and I think a caption of her (of age of course) would be awesome

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Can you do one with the bella twins as two guys who fought over the same girl then the girl turns them both into look alikes of her but then they start fighting over the same guy

Yep!

Anonymous said:

Do you know suzy berhow? Or angie Griffin? If so would love a caption of either of them please

Sorry sweetie, I don’t know who those are. :(

Anonymous said:

Would appreciate more Sia captions please when u get the chance

I will remember that. :)

Anonymous said:

Can make some Winnie Harlow caption please? I adore her style

Sorry lovely, I don’t know who that is. :(

Anonymous said:

How about instead of removing the captions with Demi in them ,the images of Demi were just replaced with another celeb and if Demi is mentioned by name in the caption then that could be edited  to mention a different celeb. I respect Demi's decision I do but lets not lose some well made captions. Also if you could please make a caption where Amy Adams feminises a fan and raises them as her daughter and Kristen Stewart makes you her submissive wife that would be appreciated. I'm a fan of them.

So about the Demi Lovato captions: I understand your feelings but I’m still going to delete the original captions. Because of how my captions are made I can’t just go back in & swap out an image or edit the text, I have to remake it from the ground up. I am hoping to do that with some (maybe all) of the Demi Lovato captions & re-publish them, but I’m still going to delete the originals.

I can do the Kristen Stewart one for sure and I’ll TRY to do the Amy Adams one I just am not 100% sure I can find a pic for that but we’ll see. :)

Anonymous said:

If it’s possible before your summer hiatus could you do a caption with Amanda Crew (silicon valley, sex drive)?

I will do one with Amanda Crew but I can’t commit to doing it before the hiatus.

About the hiatus: I don’t know when it’s going to be. I want to TRY to make it to at least July 18th because I have a specific game in mind I want to post for 5 years of Celebrity TG Captions games, but after that I have no idea. I’ve been writing caps for a longer stretch of time since normal since I’ve switched to a part-time blog so I might burn out at any second but for right now I’ve still got some juice.

[ryuichirou]

I really love the way you draw anatomy - you are literally perfect. Would you mind one day if you make a simple tutorial on how to draw anatomy, particularly hands and just keeping things in proportion. Sorry if this sounds like a demanding ask - u can definitely decline or not answer no offence taken x

First of all, thank you so much! <3 I’m so happy to hear that you think my anatomy looks good. I’m not sure if I can teach you anything, but I’ll try! And sorry it took me so long to reply.

I wouldn’t call this a tutorial, more like an outline of what I usually do (maybe with some tips here and there). Hope it’s at least a little bit helpful 🙏

I’ll start with how I draw the hands. Well, as you’ve probably seen on my previous post about this topic, I used to have a hard time with hands because I didn’t understand the logic behind them + my only reference was my own small and blobby hands. Practice helps a lot, but imo mostly because as you draw more hands, it becomes easier for you to break them into simpler shapes (this is important!) and imagine them in 3d in your head or as you draw.

When I draw hands, I start with a rough sketch. Basically I just draw a fingerless block first. It’s a bit illegible right now, but bear with me.

After this I add fingers. Once again, they’re all broken into shapes: a finger is just 3 short tubes connected to the block we just drew. Sometimes some parts of the “tubes” aren’t visible because of the perspective of the hand, sometimes you can clearly see all of them. As I already said, it’s all about learning how to imagine these things in 3d.

Since my sketch is so rough, I tried to make the shapes more clear here. I hope it makes sense.

After the sketch is done, I basically just… draw hands. Remember that this is skin and meat, there are going to be folds (??? Idk if this is the correct word) and stuff. And nails, oh nails… I scream when I remember the times when I used not to draw them lol They help to convey the perspective and the angle of the fingers, so for me it’s better to have them than not. I’m not drawing them the exact correct way, though, but still.

And once again, it took me a long time to start drawing hands more or less properly, and I still fix them all the time. For example, a thumb of the first one on the left is too short. In fact, I’d make all the thumbs bigger…  

So yeah, something among the lines. It’s not perfect, but this is the basic idea of how it works, at least for me.

About proportions… Well, I’m one of those artists who like to make 1000000 sketches before I move on to the inking phase, it’s just more comfortable to me. This way, I give myself more control of the pose and proportions and have a lot of time to adjust and fix whatever feels off to me. Many good artists don’t do that because they don’t really need it.

First, I make a very quick sketch just to grab the “feel” of the pose I’m going for, plus it helps with the overall composition of the drawing. It isn’t detailed at all, so it takes about 5-10 minutes to draw, even less if I’m confident about what I want and don’t try to find the pose that would work the best. At this stage I try to keep the proportions in mind, but I don’t think about them too much.

When I’m more or less satisfied with the basic idea, I draw my first sketch. At this stage I’m err building the body. There are a lot of ways to do that, I’m drawing something similar to a mannequin that is made out of meat. Oh no, that sounded horrible…

As you can see, this time I pay more attention to proportions and sketch all parts of the body properly. I make sure that both arms are the same length, both legs are the same length, that the shoulders are on the same level, stuff like that. At this stage I don’t think about the character, just about the body: I’m trying to make it make sense lol

Also you might’ve noticed, but I changed the position of the arms on this sketch because my initial idea didn’t really work (I tried to sit in the same pose and it was uncomfortable lol)

And then I draw yet another sketch. Sometimes this can be the last stage and I ditch the inking altogether and just colour this sketch instead, but more often than not it looks too messy and I have to make another sketch… (This is also where Katsu usually tells me to chill because we were planning to draw something simple and quick and I’m already making it complicated lol)

Here I’m adding more details, like face, hair, clothing, anything else that I need to sketch before inking/colouring. After this sketch is done, I look at it again and see if anything looks off. If it does, I try to fix it, adjust it, sketch it again, whatever works and whatever makes my sketch less stiff and more proportional.  It doesn’t have to be super realistic proportions-wise though.

Things that I pay attention to when I check the proportions on my drawings:

Shoulders: they should be the same size (although the perspective can create a distortion, but this is a whole other can of worms) + ideally they should be able to fit two heads in them length-wise.

Arms: I check if they’re the correct length (the hand part should start ~at the crotch level). If the arm on the drawing is bent, I try to visualize how it’d look like if they were straightened up. If it’s difficult to imagine, I just sketch it.

Oh, and the size of hands. I always check if they’re the correct size by comparing them to a face of the character: they should be about the same size (of course some people have larger hands and some of them have smaller hands).

Legs: same with arms, I try to make sure they are not too long and not too short. Also, when drawing arms or legs, you can draw this thing. The shoulder/hip and the hand/foot have the same distance from the elbow/knee. This… sounds confusing, I hope it at least looks understandable lol

There are a lot of ways to check if everything is correct: sometimes I just put my fingers on the screen to check if all of the lengths make sense lol and sometimes I draw these lil lines to check if the lengths of the parts that are supposed to be the same match.

If your drawing looks off, just create another layer and sketch the body (the meaty mannequin thingie) over it again. It might help you see some obvious mistakes if there are any. Some people might say it’s too much work, I call this practice lol

There are instances when I redraw some parts of the body completely. There are situations when it’s easier to do it all over again than to fix the existing sketch.

Another thing that I do is flip the image as I draw. Not very often though, you need not to get used to the flipped version of your drawing, it should be somewhat new to your eyes, this way your mistakes will be more visible to you. At least I think so…

It also helps to pay attention to details as much as you can, they make a huge difference. I still have a lot to learn about how the abs work, but like a year ago I knew nothing about them aside from “err I think there are 6 or 8 of them?? And they start below the boobs” (my boobs were also more square). After I started drawing them more often and learning how they actually work, my drawings changed accordingly. I think the right one is at least slightly better haha

So yeah, this is more or less my process. It isn’t necessary to draw 10203100 sketches and to go through all these stages, but I personally feel much more comfortable doing that because this way I can be sure that I would’ve noticed if there was a major fuckup somewhere.

To be honest, if we’re talking proportions, this image is literally the only thing you need to know.

Just keep in mind how many heads are in the human body length, how many heads can fit inside one’s torso, etc. Compare body parts to each other accordingly. Just make a habit out of checking if the proportions on your drawings are correct: make a shoulder bigger, make sure that the legs are the same size. It might be too much at first, but it’ll literally become a subconscious thing very soon, and you won’t have to actively think about all of this every time you draw. I google this image from time to time just to make sure that I’m fixing everything correctly lol

You don’t have to be exact with these proportions, but they still need to have some logic behind them. Like here, if we look at Osomatsu, who is clearly very stylized, we can still see that his body is proportionate. His shoulders are too small for his head, and his body surely doesn’t have 8 heads in its length, but he still doesn’t fall apart because there is logic behind his stylization: his arms are still long enough for him to put his hands in his pockets; they aren’t too long or too short. Hope that makes sense…

Sorry for the long read. Once again, I hope it was somewhat helpful or at least interesting. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask!

Although I’m still learning myself of course, so there are things that I probably don’t know or forgot to mention…

[watayaaratamblr]

Chihayafuru chapter 226 [long] impressions:

This is more of "everything that went through my mind while reading every page of the chapter"

naturally, gonna be super ..like SUPER long.

1) Shinobu in her fine Kimono was happy or proud? What are the flowers around her? Who knows, we only know that anything they might symbolize is already clear on her face and pose. She played a very strong opponent, she had “special” fun and she won. Only one remaining win and she will preserve her title for the 4th year in a row. Chihaya on the other hand was lost… She did everything she could “come up with” but she still couldn’t win any of the two matches… maybe “come up with something new” was her mistake? Could it be that it’s impossible to defeat the queen in her world, should Chihaya bring her out instead, Chihaya probably didn’t even thought of this because she is completely lost, she worked very hard and her hard work paid off somehow but it is not enough Chihaya seems unable to have any fun; it’s all about needing to win for some reason, why the passionate Chihaya feels so far away?

2) Arata is shook! He is no longer seeing the Meijin in front of him, he is rather calling Chihaya’s name! On the Meijin board we can see 4 poems, (one was shown clearer behind Hiro who was confused with Arata’s sudden distraction; Sudo also noticed and wondered + the 4 poems seem all on Suo’s side?)

30/Ariake no: the poet expresses his hate for dawns after he had to part from his lover at a dawn with a moon that looked so cold and indifferent. 76/Watanohara-ko: This is the second “Arata” poem (as it starts with the word WATA). The poet describes white waves rolling onward which can be mistaken for the white clouds up in the heavens. 20/ Wabi nureba: a consuming passion poem in which the poet tells the woman he loves that he is willing to sacrifice everything to continue their relationship and that he will go meet her despite the heavy price he knows he will have to pay. 74/ Ukari keru: The poet is in distress because the lady he loves is cold to him and his prayers to be happy with her were futile.

The choice of these poems might be clarified when the cards are read but (because Suo seems shadowed somehow and the focus is on Arata), we can still think that they are about Arata’s feelings and what he wants to do about Chihaya’s state now and how she will treat him after her loss .. She already turned her head away from him after her 1st loss, she avoided him, and now she lost again and Arata who is in love with her is really worried.

3) Arata assesses the situation, Chihaya has 2 losses which will put a great pressure on her for the next games and give Shinobu the chance to be more relaxed. The image of Chihaya’s back when she rushed out with her hand on her face as if she was crying was so strong for Arata, the background intensifies what he felt, he was really worried and repeating her name while sweating (dunno if this was intentional, but he wasn’t sweating before he noticed Chihaya (on ch225)) On the other hand, Suo was still completely focused.

4) 78/Awaji shima: was read and Arata was late. Suo took it

This poem tells about the sleepless nights of a guard at some gate caused by the cries of the plover birds crossing the place known as an exile (the plover is also used to symbolize winter) so this poem might invoke the feelings of loneliness and nostalgia.

65/Urami wabi: was the next one and Arata was also late, the difference is now only 1 card. Sudo was cheering for Suo and wandering if a luck of the draw will be the fate of this game. Arata was taken aback!

The poet of Urami wabi is a lady who is separated from her husband so she felt resentment to him, she cried and her sleeves were always wet but what concerned her more was her reputation tainted because of her failed relationship.

These two poems didn’t appear on the board (because only the upper part was showing) but 78 was on Arata’s side & 65 was on Suo’s. The fact that 78 was the poem read to pull Arata out of his thoughts and keep him focused on his match makes me see it as the plover birds keeping the guard from going to sleep. It can also hint at the distraction itself, if sleep is what we do at night but the plovers prevent it, then Arata should focus on his game but his worry for Chihaya also prevents it, so his feelings or Chihaya’s state is the plovers. As for 65, I can’t think of many possible reasons but it might be the “reputation” part, maybe it’s a hint at Arata’s “name” as the “grandchild of eternal meijin Wataya Hajime” that everyone was eager to see through him which might soon be challenged.

5) Murao & Kuriyama wondered what happened to Arata after he achieved such good result till now. Suo had his eyes glued to the Tatami, his aunt was there, he knew but he didn’t try to look. Arata’s club-mates explained that this was a sign of Suo’s strength: he would use the least of your mistakes like losing your focus for even a sec. Riza specifically was very nervous. Arata started to revise what was read and what wasn’t. he kept good track of all read and unread cards, including the dead cards (Taichi was always praised when he did this but now that Arata is doing it, it feels normal and so like him, I believe we all know that Arata is stronger, Taichi showed us the process to arrive there but Arata was the first to arrive there, he definitely passed by most what Taichi experienced.). With this review, Arata knows what he can use his cross sweep on: Wabi & Wata-ko. Ariake is the 3rd remaining card on Tatami (besides the two above & the thress are drawn earlier on the board) but there are also 3 A cards not read yet (dead cards) which are 58/Arima+ 39/Asaji+ 64/Asaborake-u, Arata expects that Suo will wait to make sure of the 3rd syllable. Arata was worried & his grandpa’s ghost came to support him like Taichi and Harada’s ghost too, Hajime analyzed Suo before and he noticed that he wasn’t good with the cards on the outer edge of his own formation, this is something Hajime noticed back when he was alive and sane, was it like 5 years ago? So is Suo’s condition worse than back then?

6) Hajime’s teachings calmed Arata a bit, he is ready to fight again (he moves so handsomely), those where only words told to him by his mentor, but he is also a real deal, his body is ready, his hands are used to attack, he practiced enough to be able to go under his opponent’s hand to take a card, luckily an ‘A’ card on Suo’s side was read, Arata attacked and he practiced enough to be able to protect that card until the kimariji is decided (also Suo didn’t practice enough to know how to break that defense, it was a card on the edge of his playing field too, but there are only 3 cards left, so he could commit it to his memory as Arata said before on ch 223, the most important thing is memorization, having a card in your sight Then committing it to your memory, you’ll be able to see it even with closed eyes and Arata played like that before when he couldn’t find his glasses)

7) 30/Ariake is the one read, Arata put his hand on it when he made sure and Suo couldn’t find a way to it. Among the 4 poems initially shown on the board, this one was read. Who does it refer to? (if it does). Who is the unpitying moon? who parted with what? who feels longing for what? I can’t really think of an answer and I can’t even tell if there is an answer to begin with. But, it might have something to do with the idea of “committing the card to memory after sight” because when this principle was explained on 223, this card was among the ones shown around Arata & Suo. Arata’s family members where happy contrary to Suo’s family members.. These two panels made me think that in these matches between these two, the families of the players are as involved as the players themselves. (And Akira looks more surprised than happy, maybe he still doesn’t realize how his own words back at the hotel are true: “Arata, you are strong”.) The commentator confirmed the greatness of Arata’s move and there was a suspicious man behind him LOL (why was this man drawn there?)

8) Arata’s cover seems to be a high level one too, this is all Arata’s Karuta because he is the one using his body for it. Suo now seems in danger like Chihaya. Kuriyama & Murao are overjoyed and Arata went out with rather an indifferent face? there are no signs of relief or happiness, he looks rather lost in thoughts.. I was thinking that Suo acknowledged Arata’s strength (that beat him), but for some reason and contrary to Harada sensei, it’s not only “I don’t want to play anyone who is not strong”, he seems like he doesn’t even want to play this strong Arata, even when Kyoko tan who gives him enough motivation to play, he still couldn’t bring himself to use enough strength to defeat Arata…it’s like he is disappointed, he wants something else from him that Arata isn’t showing him… Anyway, Arata now doesn’t even look tired or invested in his win in any way.

9) Now he looks surprised, is it because he can’t see Chihaya anywhere? the half black & half white background was used before and in my case, it represents “Confusion”. In addition to the blush, Arata makes a completely unrelated face with the one he made after he won, it’s like the moment he came outside, he became someone else, or better, he was someone else but the moment he came out, he became himself again (can we then take the blush as an “Arata is himself” sign & its disappearance as a “Hajime mode” sign? XD) The SFX isn’t BAM right? because who is still taking cards? According to Google, it’s rather (バツ/ turn suddenly); And seeing Kana searching for her confirmed that she was nowhere around so he went to look for her right away, even before he reports his win and gives back the cards. (he looked like an old man in the 3rd panel lol) and in the 4th, he looked very concerned for Chihaya suddenly sweating and turning around in a hurry. Kana’s way of searching was by shouting loudly everywhere, while Arata’s reflects more of his personality and I like it, he won’t do random things, he goes to the places where she might be, calmly & silently.. I really love this. So he asks around, the bathroom was a good place to look in but she wasn’t there (and he was so amusing being all shy but asking anyway) These few panels tell me more about Arata’s character; he really is used to take matters into his hands. He didn’t go to ask Kana when was the last time Chihaya was seen and where etc. he didn’t approach those who were already searching for her, he went to do it himself. I already said that, but I guess, his parents & his family conditions made him this way. he couldn’t get support, he was rather the one asked to help so he learnt not to ask for help and to take care of things himself instead. The outside was the last place to look in, is it because Arata was more intuitive that he could find her before Kana who was already searching before he even finished his match? Who knows, but I certainly see Arata as a reliable guy, he always was and he is also now. And there she was, Chihaya was crouching on the cold snow…

10) Arata stuttered like usual before he gets Chihaya’s name out; A whole page just to tell us Arata found Chihaya crying desperately in the snow and her bare feet were red from cold. No special backgrounds, no hinting no indirect messages, it’s all snow and white and they were the only ones there. Arata put his hand on her back casually then lowered his head to see her face (imagining this in slow motion is so warm) and then noticed her freezing toes..

11) As Arata noticed Chihaya’s feet, he held her up on his shoulder, no blushing, no shyness, no hesitation, no clumsiness, his familiar self was buried and Chihaya is what matters now! Arata is strong! He is 177cm and weighs 65kgs while Chihaya is 167 and weighs 54kgs, not much difference right? And this wasn’t the 1st time he carries her, He did before when she fainted in her 1st nationals, he carried her bridal style, now it’s an OTS carry (yep, read about this on TV tropes and they gave it an abbreviation lol “Over The Shoulder carry”) Chihaya was surprised but her focus soon was turned to the box of cards that Arata dropped while carrying her, She started to apologize, she certainly sees the cards as living humans now, Arata wasn’t as concerned, she was 1st for him and everything will come after. When the box fell, 4 poems were revealed:

6/kasassagi no: The misty bridge between distant lovers that will bring them together for sure. 51/Kaku to dani: This is about a fierce love that the poet feels burning inside him but doesn’t know how to express it to the woman he loves. 26/Ogurayama: The poet tries to invite an emperor to visit a certain pretty place that his father visited before and he wished his son would come to see it too. He uses the maple leaves to express the felt desire & longing to see the emperor-son. And half shown, 72/Oto ni kiku: it’s about the known waves of "Takashi beach" that the poet doesn’t want to approach not to wet her sleeve, but it’s actually about her not trusting the invitation she got from a man and fearing a love affair that will end in tears, this poem can be used to express avoiding something not to get hurt by it…

Again, none can say for sure why exactly these poems but I strongly believe that they are a hint. And for me, they are saying something about the relationship between Chihaya & Arata (they are a love story!!).

Looking back on the history of poem 6, we can expect that Suetsugu is going back to the idea of "there is a distance between Chihaya & Arata which is like the distance of the two legendary lovers Orihime & Hikoboshi" but this time, Arata is the one who is preoccupied with this distance more... Kaku to dani: needless to say, this is about Arata’s feelings for Chihaya, they are burning again because Chihaya needs something to cheer her up so he needs to convey them somehow. Ogurayama: I believe this is about the maple leaves carrying Arata’s feelings. Even if he doesn’t try to show it or be vocal about it, even though he used his phone only 3 times to send something to Chihaya (was only a msg through Taichi, then a message to her & Taichi and finally a call-what a progress lol), but he longs for her and wants her to be happy like how the emperor would have felt if he came to see those pretty crimson maple leaves. He wants his feelings to make Chihaya happy somehow. And the half-shown Oto ni kiku is about fear of love and tears. This is about Chihaya who isn’t allowing herself to be involved with love yet! there is something she feels lacking which is necessary before she lets herself love and I believe it’s the thing making her turn her head away from Arata ..

Then Chihaya realized, then looked at Arata’s head, he won his much! he now has 2 wins and one more win and he will achieve the dream he shared with her, the kinda promise: “this weekend, let’s make our 1st dream the reality”

12) Then Chihaya cried, helplessly. She congratulated Arata through her tears but she was rather miserable… It’s so hard to be happy for him right? this is not a win which will be enough to get by either him OR her, whichever happens should be good if they are friends right? but no, this is about her!! I have a feeling that if Chihaya won & Arata not, she wouldn’t be very sad for him.. There is something telling me that Chihaya is only scared of being left behind by Arata, as long as he doesn’t, she will be fine, but if he does, she will feel devastated. this is such a strong word, but I mean it.

13) And she voiced a bit of her concern, she was afraid she can never win, even though she lost only by 3 cards, personally, I’ll think that from 7 cards to 3, I can make it in the next game, but Chihaya seems to think that the strongest she can be is the way she was in this second game, then she can only get close to Shinobu that much, not to lose with more than 3 cards. Arata was surprised; maybe he never thought she could lose hope? or maybe he is confused how she can say so when he believes that she can win against Shinobu.. And ofc, before he says anything Kana & Tamaru finally found Chihaya. Kana is as wary of Arata as ever, the n°1 Taichiha shipper. But apparently, she didn’t see Arata bringing Chihaya from outside, she saw only when he put her down and that looked “too close” for her and “hurry up, let’s go to your waiting room, it’s like she is saving her from Arata.. While our gentleman was putting Chihaya down so carefully while looking at her feet whether they are fine or not.

14) Kana is indeed a typical Taichiha shipper, I have seen it a lot, no matter what Arata does, he is always a target for hate or at least disdain. Approaching Chihaya is a big no for them let alone take caring of her. I tried to laugh at this panel, I thought that sensei really is referring to those fans, she might have wanted it to be a comical moment but it’s not. What I saw is that, again, Kana is putting Taichi & herself before Chihaya & it sucks. Arata didn’t even notice her though, thankfully, all he could see was Chihaya, the painful face she was making & her tears (The background of confusion as I call it).. Arata suddenly took us for another rare moment inside his stubbornly concealed heart, the clumsy guy who seems shallow & insensitive to lot of readers.. Chihaya’s weight alone made him look so deep into her and see so much…She is unfamiliar to him, he didn’t get to learn earlier about her everything, but in every second he is given, we saw him pay a lot of attention and see her with more than his eyes. Chihaya’s tears meant that she worked so hard and that didn’t pay off, she wouldn’t have cried this much otherwise. And he can already learn that much about her by just imagining what he wasn’t there to witness, she worked so so hard. Looking at his hands (Chihaya was there lol), he looked so deep in thought, but he remembered the cards he left on the snow..

15) He rushed to bring them but his thoughts were full of Chihaya and how to cheer for her, Arata acknowledged her strength, she is an amazing strong player who can really defeat Shinobu (he seems to believe he can also defeat Suo).but he is not good at communicating his feelings & thoughts, he is clumsy & he knows it..so will he hide his clumsiness to look cool like Taichi does most of the time? No, that wasn’t what Arata thinking, he was rather wondering about a way to make her know what might save her.. He took the cards getting now wet from the snow, he took 77/SE while he was wondering.. “Se” is about the separated ones who will certainly meet again.. it’s like Arata feels a boulder blocking his thoughts and feelings from reaching her and he wants to find a way to bypass it & reach her. “Se” has always been a special card for Arata and it is because of Chihaya..

16) It was the 1st card Chihaya took from him and he already got it back from her in their match but for Arata, SE is more than that. It’s the card that started Chihaya’s journey in Karuta. and Arata is confident that he is the only one who knows, and he is confident that the level she showed in her match with him is the highest she reached, or the highest anyone can reach, or at least, if she is defeated by Shinobu in 2 matches today and was already defeated by her in ch169 then it’s a level she didn’t go to again after her match with him and she still can do it. Arata’s head was really full of Chihaya, he is so focused on her that he totally forgot he too is where he worked to be for so many years, longer and maybe even harder than Chihaya herself (for almost 12 years, more than half of his life, no it’s 2 thirds of his life!!!), so the Murao twins came to remind him of what he forgot since the match ended, of the Meijin title & his grandpa. Only one other win to be were Hajime Wataya seems to have wanted Arata to be (or at least that’s what Arata thought)

17) Yep, Hajime is telling him to focus, to forget about Chihaya & concentrate on him & his goal. “Se” was shown again with the words “the mejin title”, is that the boulder separating the stream of the river?

18) Arata placed Se back on top of the cards in the box next to another card:

18/Su mi no e no: This poem is about hiding from people’s gaze when going to meet the lover, trying to avoid exposure even in dreams.. Doesn’t it suit the moment perfectly? when the twins came to remind Arata of the Meijin title and his status, he hid “SE” (representing also his feelings for Chihaya) in the box, it’s like how the poet who is an aristocrat from the great Fujiwara family (Fujiwara men are known to choose their wives in the family) is afraid of being exposed.

Arata closed the box, it’s also like “Se” keeps him the real Arata (he said that he lacked love to be himself, so maybe Se is his love poem to Chihaya, his love saves him regardless of whether she reciprocates it or not contrary to Taichi, his love always hurt him, like a curse) The Karuta officials are the happiest for Arata’s win it seems, he pleased them, he revived Wataya Hajime for them again, they are blessed, for them, it’s all about them & Hajime it seems, Arata isn’t really seen for who he is… Arata remembered when that man told him that because Arata’s Karuta is exactly like Hajime’s, he was able to see Wataya sensei again. Back then Arata cried, he said that he really loves Karuta.. Could it now turn into a curse? because it’s too much? Because he is losing himself? because he is not seen? Why was Arata happy back then? and is the reason weaker than any probable desire now to be seen for who he is?

19) Suo was upset! His dear aunt that he didn’t meet for 8 years suddenly came all the way from Kyushu to see him, but he wasn’t happy..He lost two games but he doesn’t seem worried about that... Yukiko was kind and looks like the sweets are a family thing? Sudo is confused (he is amusing when he is like that) & Suo’s cousin is more impressed because Suo had lot of female friends lol Suo was nervous, he wanted to ask how and why they were suddenly there but he stuttered and According to Yukiko chan’s answer, we learn that Suo developed the habit of soft talking after he quit Kyushu.

20) After 8 years of separation, she wanted to touch the boy she loved so much and cared immensely for, maybe it’s because she can’t see him well too, but she failed to reach his face, she couldn’t see well, and Suo felt so hurt, but like anyone else with pride, his reaction was based on his suffering not on hers. And instead of being hurt herself, she rather was worried about him, why would he be cruel to her unless he too is suffering from her same illness.

21) The whole conversation in this page feels weird. Suo raised his voice from frustration and these relatives didn’t try to listen to him before. The cousin rather teased him about his loss as if it’s nothing, (he highlighted the fact that Arata is a youngster too) And Yukiko’s answer was soething I didn’t expect! She doesn’t seem to care much about the Meijin thing, she rather looked hopeful (notice the sudden blush), she thought that if Suo is no longer Meijin then he can go back home. What was even more surprising is that Suo looked agitated but his answer wasn’t what I expected, he asn’t worried that his title doesn’t see precious that his relatives would want him to keep, he was rather worried that what they are offering is impossible because he grew up to become a stranger and going back to his home is impossible.

22) Seems that Suo would consider his home any place Yukiko owns, but he knew that she didn’t own the house she told him to go back to. (isn’t this a reason to work harder in univ then get a job and buy a house to bring Yukiko to live with him instead?) The cousin got angry because things like these aren’t considered in a warm loving family where elderly are respected and considered owners before what papers say.. Suo didn’t seem to want to listen, and he left hurriedly causing his condition to beclearer to his aunt as he bumped with many things in his way out. (BACKGROUND of confusion in the last panel)

23) Still, Suo couldn’t leave before knowing why they suddenly came. and the description was so easy to tell him who, Suo realized it right away, the boy with big eyes who would wish for Suo’s family to come watch him (because he is incredible & wants his family to know that? or bc he pities him?) The boy with big eyes was “Mashima kun” they called him this many times, now they didn’t mention the name, I wonder how Sudou would have felt if he knew? would he realize that Taichi really got the closest to Suo, somewhere he couldn’t go?

24) Chitose left, Chihaya’s mom knew but didn’t understand why, Kana, tsukuba & Nishida stayed out of the room while Chihaya, Tamaru, Namida, Sumire & the last boy from Mizusawa that went to Shiranami were all inside, Kana told the mom it’s better to stay out and those inside were all experiencing the reason lol Ah no, Namida was doing great, he is such positive and hard working boy, he is not wasting his time by being afraid or nervous, he is taking notes instead! Chihaya is the most nervous because she is the reason Harada sensei is furious. Harada never taught Chihaya to send back a card because the opponent will place it again in its original place that they remember well (and we know that Chihaya sent it to provoke Shinobu -see ch222), provocative Karuta based on the knowledge of what Shinobu hates and the cards she won’t place next to each other was Watarai’s teaching.

25) Yep, Shiranami’s way is to target the opponent’s memorization as much as possible, Shiranai members are scared of Harada but can’t deny that he is right, he is a great teacher, has a good experience in Karuta and in teaching, maybe them being present here to hear & learn is the biggest proof. Chihaya also didn’t lift her head, she knew he was totally right, she can’t think that losing was because she was unlucky in front of the strongest queen, it’s because of those small mistakes she allowed herself to make.

26) Harada’s words kept hitting hard for Chihaya. Maybe he didn’t say that she was wrong, she learnt a new way in 2 months but she already had a strong way that she could fortify in these 2 months too.. Chihaya focused on Shinobu’s cards and neglected her own? isn’t this beneficial for an offensive Karuta player? I don’t get it well But Harada didn’t understand much of Chihaya’s new method either and he was honest & fair, he acknowledged what Chihaya still achieved: she got a strong reaction from Shinobu. Did Shinobu’s smile mean that she wasn’t indifferent with Chihaya? that she enjoyed the “strong” opponent? Harada told Chihaya that Shinobu seems to have enjoyed her match with her like she enjoyed her match with Arata which means that Chihaya played at Arata’s level back then and that is an achievement!

27) He smiled to her to make her feel better, because she really did great by learning new strong weapons in 2 months.. And now it’s time for the 3rd game. at this point, we don’t really know if Chihaya was better? if she calmed down? While Arata seems to be still in his grandpa mode, (he looks really like an old man here, calm and silent, he wasn’t like in the 1st break And he was completely the opposite of his father who was so energetic and very satisfied with Yuu’s gift, a design with the word “TOP” inspiring more will to do one’s best to reach the top! Akira seems quite fond of Yuu (I am too), she was admitted to her school of choice & he is happy for her, the Watayas talk so familiarly about her like she is really a close relative except Arata…

28) Akira is really hard to deal with, he does whatever he wants and he is very fond of Yuu. Asking for Arata’s phone to call her & thank her, Arata rejected any try to involve him in this mess (he didn’t even react when Akira said that he will make up a lie and say that Arata was touched because of her gift, Yuu would have probably known it’s a lie because Arata wouldn’t react like that… But it’s IC if he does for Chihaya right?), he was trying his best to focus, he didn’t show any enthusiasm about Yuu; Her, his father, the food or anything of the sort couldn’t break his grandpa mode. And finally, Taichi’s message was discovered, Arata didn’t want to read anything before his game but knowing it’s about Taichi, would that be still the case?

29) Arata stopped! getting a message from Taichi who didn’t come to watch made him really stop, Taichi is really special to Arata. And turning back he found Chihaya there too, she heard what Akira said & her face showed surprise!.

30) Chihaya seemed lost in her desperation, she didn’t say a word she just turned quickly wishing to find something for her too from Taichi, she needed him, when Taichi was around he could somehow find a way to make things better and she needs it now because she is not fine, Harada’s words didn’t seem to heal her fully, she sighed when she didn’t find anything.. Arata was confused (the BACKGROUND), and when Chihaya saw him she blushed & turned her head away in embarrassment, Arata lifted her suddenly earlier and she didn’t have time to do this back then. Why? if it was because Taichi now then what about the 1st time? It wasn’t because of Taichi, it was because she looked weak in front of Arata. Chihaya has always worked hard to reach him, to become someone who can meet his passion, to be worth sitting across him in Karuta.. but she kept losing where he kept winning, he was always ahead and she could never arrive there. Chihaya was embarrassed of her weak self who showed more weakness and dependence of Taichi’s help, it’s like she can’t go anywhere without his support… Arata knew that wasn’t true. Akira asked again if Arata wanted to look at Taichi’s message and Chihaya passed him just now without a word (and Kana still looked at him sideway lol) …so many distractions, Hajime Wataya’s voice was calling him again to focus, just a bit more & he’ll be the Meijin, that’s all he was about after all right?

31) NOT RIGHT!!! That wasn’t all Arata was about, not for those who care to look at him properly! Arata wasn’t worried about being ditched, or about what Taichi’s message might contain, he rather remembered when Chihaya showed him her special bond with Taichi that day when she crushed him.. This was good reason to feel jealous or upset but that’s not who Arata was… He took Chihaya’s hand and disobeyed his grandpa’s words!

32) Arata’s face looks desperate trying to reach Chihaya to make her see the truth he believes about her, she can defeat Shinobu & he means it, he knows her strength too and he could compare, he knows when Chihaya was the strongest and how Taichi is the last piece in what Chihaya fought for and became the strongest… The blush on Arata’s face says how much he wanted to make it through to her, how many times does Arata show emotions? the calm and collected guy, what does it mean when he shows such face? “You shouldn’t go play with Shinobu chan in her arena” Harada sensei pointed out Chihaya’s mistakes but he didn’t show her a way to follow, it’s like he no longer has an advice for her, he gave her everything he got and when she strayed from his path he reminded her, but that’s all, And Arata’s advice was something else, like a Karuta expert, he knew what to tell Chihaya, even though he didn’t watch her matches or maybe he did? because he didn’t seem in a pinch in his own vs Suo, maybe he got time to look sometimes…

33) Arata really had what to say, and Chihaya listened because what she heard was useful. She wanted o go where the lonely Shinobu is but she couldn’t face everything in that world and she came out leaving a still lonely Shinobu inside, Arata tells her to bring Shinobu outside instead, to show her the wonderful things outside that can give Chihaya the same strength as Shinobu, something she might want to come out to get? Chihaya saw an illusion for the calm Queen, the plant in the frame was always used for Shinobu too and it seems (and I’m not sure) that Suetsugu uses it for Shinobu who is Shinobu and not the Queen.

34) Chihaya found Arata’s words interesting, that was some good technical support but she had to think more to find her arena Though, Arata wouldn’t let her, he gives her now the emotional support, he knew Chihaya needed Taichi (not the person, but at least sensing his presence in what he left) so he decided to give her that, anything she needs, he wouldn’t be jealous or needy or immature, he put her 1st and I admire the way he loves even more!

35) Everyone saw what Arata wanted to show, it wasn’t a secret or personal message to Chihaya, and Taichi is the captain of Mizusawa, he pushed that team, and Arata brought it to push it again. Arata persisted bc he knew very well how much Chihaya values Taichi & her team, he didn’t need to be there for 3 years to know, he is very attentive and intuitive too and looks at Chihaya really properly!.

36/37) Arata’s words were moving to all Mizusawa members, they all blushed emotionally, and Chihaya cried, maybe because she missed this or maybe because she somehow betrayed it by forgetting it and not working for her team like she said she would before…(this chapter looks so direct, no BACKGROUNDs, no shoujo effects)

38) Arata held Chihaya’s hand so gently (I wonder why sensei drew this panel, it’s totally unnecessary for anything other than highlighting Arata’s love (romantic love because I can’t imagine him do this to Yuu if she ever goes through something like this)) He mentions his loss to her as something big which is a compliment to Chihaya & an acknowledgement of her strength & level. He says it with no embarrassment because her win was well deserved (I want to see Taichi make a confession like this to Arata). And Mizusawa captain was strong because she played for her team, she used all she had for them… so Chihaya again, only has to play her own Karuta, this is the opposite of what Chihaya told Arata in his match against Harada, she told him to play like someone else.. Amusing!

39) In Shinobu’s waiting room, Shinobu was acting like a child, so carefree; she only has 1 remaining win to keep her title after all. She also seems so close with Kokoro chan now (Kokoro called her Shinobu without “chan” or anything, it implies so much familiarity right?) also Shinobu is a bad example it seems lol. Though Kokoro mentions something that might be a hint to Shinobu’s next loss (a 3rd game is tiresome). And then when Shinobu was about to get up, something was off, she felt something but she didn’t see what it was? Kokoro asked but she didn’t answer? Chihaya was shown right after that still having her tears while Arata kept explaining what he wanted to say, like he himself does, he gave her an image he knows will push her to win, she had to think that she is playing in a team tournament, her team is losing, they have two losses and 0 wins, now the remaining 3 members should all win at all costs and Chihaya will play the role of the three players, it’s like when they played in the finals of last year’s high school team tournament vs Fujisaki where both Tsukuba & Tsukue kun lost and Chihaya, Taichi & Nishida felt the responsibility to win each their game, Taichi was the one who voiced this desire 1st (ch81). (That was the game Chihaya felt upset because Arata told her that he didn’t care for teams and now, he is showing her the opposite of what she feared back then, he treasures "teams" & knows exactly how important one is for any member.)

40) And Arata impersonated Taichi for Chihaya! He should have felt jealous, he already experienced that feeling and wanted to be the one Chihaya sees, but now & for her sake, he accepted Taichi and even revived him in her memory to get as much strength from that as she needs. He wasn't there but he must have known Taichi would say that for Chihaya so he reminded her of it for her sake instead of being selfish & feeling miserable or jealous (reminds me of when Chihaya hid in the closet after she lost, the way Taichi brought up Arata’s name all miserable & helpless, he couldn’t forget about himself for a bit for Chihaya contrary to Arata even though he didn’t have anything to be confident about, Chihaya was closer to Taichi, she cared for him so much, she showed him this care in front of his eyes, he had every reason to feel threatened but he didn’t, Chihaya mattered more than that to him …)

[brianna-lei]

Anonymous Butterfly Soup asks, batch 6

IT’S RIGHT NEXT TO THE BIG TOBLERONE I’M ALIVE

Being covered by a big gaming news site was one of my fantasies, so I’m elated this happened. The article is here, for anyone curious! 

More asks under the cut!! 

A note before I start -- if you submitted a bug, I saw it!! Thank you for reporting them!

Yes, she did! Her Facebook profile pic is her posing in front of a store at the mall, and you can see Jun’s reflection taking the pic in the store window

Akarsha didn’t realize, but Noelle totally heard it. Noelle kind of had a sense of what was up already, but actually hearing it worried her. She was debating whether or not to intervene when Min showed up. 

On a small note, Min trying to cheer Akarsha up slightly improved Noelle’s opinion of Min (even though Min and Akarsha almost end up fist fighting again afterward).  

Min plays video games too, imagine them playing Team Fortress 2 and later Overwatch together... Diya, Min, and Noelle have all seen some basic anime like Pokemon, Digimon, and Yugioh, but Akarsha’s the only real hardcore anime fan. I’m glad she met “Sakura”, “Yuki”, and Ester through the baseball club, because now she has weeb friends to talk about that stuff too. 

(Ester is less obvious about liking anime than “Sakura” and “Yuki”, but you can still tell by her outfit’s style. Lowkey but not lowkey enough)

I can totally relate to all of them, but I’d say Diya!

Yes, they grow close over the course of the year and Noelle has to try really hard not to cry LMAO They still keep in touch afterward. 

Yep, they both feel this huge gulf between themselves and their parents due to cultural differences. Many Asian immigrant parents are extremely conservative so it feels like they’re on a completely different wavelength from you, and at the same time they have complete power over you. It’s kind of a bad feeling.  

...Also, shadowing their faces saved me the work of drawing their different facial expressions. 

Min was actually out of town when the fire happened, so Diya had to call her and tell her what happened :( Diya (and eventually Min) sleeps on Noelle’s couch for a bit. Noelle and Akarsha aren’t living together at the time and Noelle has the nicer/cleaner apartment  

It sounds really miserable, but they’re ok in the end

Noelle's passion is math and science, so she definitely ends up doing something in STEM that she likes, just not what her parents were expecting. Akarsha is similar and becomes a software engineer -- They’re actually both naturally interested in those subjects, which says a lot about how bad the parental pressure really is.  

I like to think Diya and Min actually manage to break into minor league baseball and eventually MLB

Most of my outfit inspiration comes from my tumblr/twitter feeds. I wish I could recommend you fashion blogs, but I’m not following any?! They’re all just fandom mutuals who randomly reblog cool clothes sometimes. 

I used to have trouble deciding what clothes characters should wear, so every time I see an image of a cool outfit I save it for reference. After doing this since high school I now have...uh...

And those are just the unorganized ones, the ones i have in folders are like...

Now if I’m stumped for what a character should wear, I just browse these massive folders for inspiration. I can actually pinpoint the omocat jacket that gave me the idea for Min’s:

I thought, “it should be a warning: high voltage sign on the back!”, and then I just went on Google images and looked them up. 

Sorry if this isn’t helpful! 

I don’t think Min really minds, but The Squad is even better! Deke squad

Yeah, Akarsha’s parents wouldn’t approve either. Out of the main four, Diya is actually the only one whose parents are fine with it 

Ooh thank you this is an awesome compliment to receive!! 

I REALLY want to make merch some day! I’ve never made physical merch before and I’m a bit intimidated not knowing where to start/how to handle shipping, so it may take a while, though :( 

I didn’t give anyone last names and I doubt I ever will, sorry! Feel free to give them your own if you want 

This was intentional, but at the same time I can’t believe everyone IMMEDIATELY noticed. You guys are so in tune with 4/20

Diya and Akarsha are Indian, Min-seo is Korean, Noelle is Taiwanese, Chryssa is black, Liz is…mostly Irish, I think? “Sakura” is Pakistani, “Yuki” is Filipino. I’ve heard a lot of guesses for Ester, but she’s half black and half Chinese!

i got u son!!

Thank you, I really love hearing this because the feeling that this narrative was missing was what made me want to make this game in the first place! 

you might feel a bit more sympathetic to min when you reach her part of the story! Your mileage may vary, though

If you want to make a game like Butterfly Soup, try the program Renpy! It doesn’t require programming experience to use and there’s a lot of guides online on how to use it.  My NUMBER ONE BIG ADVICE IS MAKE A REALLY, REALLY SMALL GAME FIRST. My first game, Pom Gets Wi-Fi, was only 30-45 minutes long. If you make it any bigger than that, you almost guaranteed will never finish it. The dream game that you want to make is probably longer than that, so don’t make your dream game first! That’s kind of why I was so alarmed when Pom Gets Wi-Fi took off -- I’m very proud of that game and still love it, but it was like my test for the games I dreamed of making like Butterfly Soup. (Also, 17 is a great age to start making games, good for you!) Other stuff I’ve learned:  Programming: I mostly learned super specific things that can’t be easily applied to other situations. If you want to know how I did a specific thing in Renpy, message me! 

Writing: If you’re struggling to write something, it might be for a good reason. Maybe the scene is unnecessary or boring, your mental image of the scene doesn’t translate well to the format of your work, or the character motivations aren’t convincing enough. Deleting a scene altogether isn’t defeat, sometimes it’s the best path forward! Give up more! 

Artwise: Drawing for non-pixel art games takes FOREVER. The sheer amount of time it’d take to draw all the characters and backgrounds was so demoralizing that I found myself procrastinating because I didn’t want to tackle it. Not only did I have a large cast of characters (9 in the baseball club alone), but because of flashbacks, I had to draw half of them again as kids!

To anyone thinking about making a game by themselves, SERIOUSLY consider making it a pixel art game. If you’re that set on making a non-pixel art game, SEVERELY limit the number of characters and backgrounds you have to draw!! I’m begging u...learn from my mistakes... 

You’re welcome!!! :> 

I loved USC! The Interactive Media major was cool and fun -- I met a lot of good friends through the program! It was probably the best few years of my life. 

Unfortunately...I felt like it did nothing to prepare me for finding a job. There are very few classes for aspiring game artists and game writers. There wasn’t a single professor who worked as an artist at a triple A studio while I was there, and only one who was a major writer. I get that you gotta be self motivated, but I wish I had someone in the faculty I felt comfortable discussing my career path with. Some of the professors had clear favorite students and if you weren’t one of them, they’d make very little effort to reach out to you or interact with you. I know I'm introverted, but I never got this feeling with my general elective classes -- I had plenty of chances to talk to my writing professor, architecture lab professor, art teacher, etc., yet I came out of a lot of my Interactive Media classes wondering if my professors even remembered me.  

If you want to be a game designer or maybe a writer, and are really focused/outgoing with your professors, it could be the major for you, but if you want to be a game artist I’m not sure it’s the best place to be. 

I was actually crazy stressed out when it came out, so nope! It’s happening this weekend  

I was super nervous right after it came out because I was worried people wouldn’t like it! I put a lot into it, and actually teared up writing parts of it, so it was a ridiculous relief to see that people were touched by it. I’m really happy now and really want to make a sequel.  Also, I’m beyond grateful to my friends/mutuals/fans spreading the word and tweeting/posting about the game and making fancontent ;~; I really owe everything to them!  A few people wondered about how I was holding up attention-wise, and actually...as a fanartist I sort of thrive on this, haha. Also, this is much less intense than when I released Pom Gets Wi-Fi. For perspective, it took Butterfly Soup a week to reach the number of downloads Pom got in one day. 

Good!!! You’re welcome! 

you’re welcome!!! 

[isabeau25]

Get To Know Your Author

Tagged by @eastofthemoon!

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

There’s a book called Dove Isabeau that I loved as a kid, and also I loved the movie Ladyhawk, and Isabeau was one of the main characters.

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).

Room with a View (although Can’t Take the Sky From Me was a very close second  - I had to do actual math to figure it out; I’m impressed I remember how to math.)

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

I don’t have one. I never bothered to upload it. If I did, it would be the same as the one for this account. It’s my cat Nibbs laying on my foot not long after we found him in my parents’ backyard. I use it because he’s cute and fluffy, and because I don’t like pictures of me floating around the internet.

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

I love all my commenters! It’s always exciting to get the notice that someone took the time to comment and I go back and reread them all all the time.

@maychorian​ has commented on a bunch of my Voltron fics (almost all of them I think), and I’m always super excited when I see her comments because she leaves such excellent and well thought out ones.

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

Hound by story_monger I come back to because it’s so well done. The writing is fantastic, and the sense of suspense is amazing, and I really love the way it dealt with different layers of trauma and wove together the way past trauma continued to impact how present trauma was processed and dealt with. Plus the team was wonderfully tender with Keith, and he got cuddles.

Hyggelig by heyheroics I’ve gone back and reread a couple times. It is an example of the ever rare, non-romantic Keith and Lance center story. Well written and even though it’s not finished, the chapters read as short stories, so I’m not left with cliff hangers. I’m always excited when it updates.

I reread pieces from @maychorian​ all the time, particularly from the Boom Crash series and the Dream Seam series (*whispers* a lot of the time I skip straight to the cuddles. She writes the best cuddles.)

The Raised by Lions series by @eastofthemoon​ I like to go back and reread. Red and her strange furless cub are super fun to read about, and then Shiro comes along and there is even more fluff and cuddles.

Basically there’s a shortage of platonic fluff and cuddles in the Voltron fandom and when I run out, I go back and re-read my favorite cuddles.

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

I have like 12 bookmarked and 4 subscriptions. I always forget that’s a thing you can do on AO3.

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

.... so many. I’ve been working on The Five Lion Cafe au lately, trying to finish up the next one (almost done *fingers crossed*), and Mermaid Rescue and Rehab Inc. is up next on my list to finish, so I’ve been picking on that. 

I’d like to get back to Babe’s in Space at some point. I have general outlines for lots of short stories in that AU, and there actually is a bigger over arching plot if I ever get to it.

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

91 subscriptions and 992 bookmarks

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

Mostly platonic physical intimacy, just because I don’t want to deal with it being labeled as romantic or shippy (I guess that’s not so much a fear of being judged as just not feeling like dealing with other people’s reactions). Once something is posted, you have no control over how it’s received or interpreted. That’s just the nature of publishing something; you have to let it go (or drive yourself crazy trying to force people to see it only the way you want, which is just not worth the time or energy).

Because of that, I sometimes pull back from writing a scene as intimate as I’d like, or I choose a slightly different approach to it, just because I don’t want to deal with seeing it labeled as a ship in the tags and comments.

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

Action sequences and creating suspense. It’s hard to translate the movie-like images in my head into words for action sequences. I watch a lot of youtube videos for reference when I’m trying to write them.

And suspense, when done well, is just a great thing to be able to do. It keeps the reader engaged and makes the piece more exciting.

Also replying to comments! They mean so much to me, and I’m so terrible at replying.

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

Not really? I guess Ronin and Tara from Epic qualify as a rarepair just because the fandom for Epic is so small. I think the idea of Ezor and Kolivan from Voltron being a crack pair (not one that ever would or should show up in canon) is hysterical, but I haven’t written anything for them yet.

I really just don’t ship much in general.

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

As of December 22, 2018, I have 49 stories up on AO3, all of them finished. I never start posting a story unless it’s already done.

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

So, that’s really hard to calculate. For every fandom I have what amounts to a dump document where I write random scenes and stories that I’m not sure will go any where, in addition to that I have:

Epic - 14 docs, most of those are probably single stories

ROTG - 9 docs, but I don’t think I separated out many of the WIPs from my main dump doc, so there’s probably more WIP there.

Voltron - 15 docs, but some of those documents are for series, so there’s might be multiple WIPs in the document.

And that’s just the unfinished stuff. I didn’t include the stories that are done. I usually keep those on my hard drive too because I don’t trust the internet not to suddenly eat my work.

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

I keep them in my head way too often, then go back to stories I’ve set down for a couple months (or years) and don’t remember what was going to happen. I’m trying to get better about writing out at least a general outline for stories so that doesn’t happen.

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

I have co-authored with @eastofthemoon and @ladydouji. I’m kind of a flake about writing though and I’m really bad at keeping deadlines with something I just do for fun, so I don’t team up very often.

16. How did you discover AO3?

Google search for fanfiction because there wasn’t enough decent stuff on ff.net.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

I don’t think so? I don’t pay much attention so I don’t have much bases for comparison.

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

Nope.

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

I read a lot growing up (not so much now - grad school does a really good job burning you out when it comes to reading). I loved fantasy mostly, and a little bit of sci-fi, although that’s never been a super sharp distinction for me.

Patricia McKillip is my favorite author. I absolutely love the way she writes and the way she crafts stories. I really enjoyed Jane Yolen, and Bruce Coville too.

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

I really like Neil Gaiman’s 8 Rules of Writing.

The most important thing you can do is write. Get the words on the paper. That’s really the hardest part. I like his last rule best though “Write your story as it needs to be written. Write it honestly and tell it as best you can.”

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

I usually know where they’re going (in my head at least, by the time I actually start getting words on the page), but sometimes they end up taking unexpected turns or new scenes show up out of now where while I’m writing. That’s part of what makes writing exciting. 

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

Nothing terrible, but a few (at least one of which went over my head until years later because they were being sarcastic).

I find I have an increasingly low reserve of energy, and things like that are not worth spending it on. I just ignore them.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

Interpersonal conflict! Why would these two normally rational people who care about each other let a thing escalate to the point of them actually fighting over it, or having it damaging their relationship, or coming to blows over it? And how do I write that in a way that doesn’t sound contrived and is in character to everyone involved.

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

Right now I’m working on finishing up the next Five Lions Cafe story, and also working on the last of the Mermaid Rescue and Rehab series.

I’m also working on a story that is probably going to be called Bad Moon on the Rise, and is focused on Lance and the Red Lion’s bond (and also has quintessence vampires).

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

Yes! My brain never stops planning stories. Never.

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

Not really. Sometimes I’ll got through stretches where I write a lot, and other times my brain just melts and refuses to make words.

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

Yes! Even just going back a few years, but I’ve been writing since I was in elementary school, so there has been a great deal of improvement from the epic and fully illustrated “There are dinosaur ghosts living in our playground” that I wrote in first grade (and tried to convince my teacher was true).

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

It’s actually not even up on AO3. It’s the only Narnia fanfic I ever wrote, and it’s called Refuge. One of those things that just felt unfinished and unaddressed in the Prince Caspian movie, and I like how I addressed it.

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

*Snorts* Thankfully lost to the great ether of individual fan sites that no longer exist, I had some CATS fanfics that were pretty terrible.

There’s also some Ronin Warriors stuff, and I think some stuff from the original Voltron dub, that’s pretty terrible, but I don’t have the heart to take down because people were actually kind enough to leave nice comments on them.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

The same, but hopefully better at it. I don’t really have any aspirations to be a professional writer. I’m happy just doing it for fun.

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

The stories!

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

Putting the words on the page!

33. Why do you write?

Because it’s fun! And challenging! And it gets the things in my head out of my head!

Tagging: anyone who wants to. I think all the people I know on tumblr have already been tagged.

[surveysonfleek]

373.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 8

701. What is your favorite mixed drink? mojito or espresso martini. 702. When answering these questions are you often pulled in different directions, as if committing to one answer eliminates the possibility for all others? errrr i don’t really think that hard. i just type whatever comes to my head first. 703. Chicken Mesala, Pasta Primavera, Veal Cutlet Parmesan or Linguini with Clam Sauce? veal cutlet parmesan. 704. If you were alone in your friend's house/room/apartment would you look in their drawers and notebooks? no. i’d be annoyed if a friend did that in my place

705. What would you really like to do but you don't because you are afraid of getting caught? hmm nothing.

706. Of the following, which word best describes you: responsible: this. spontaneous: tactful: uninhbited: 707. Which band would you most likely check out? The Smiths (indi-pop 80's-90's) The Lords of Acid (acid/house/dance 90's) <--- this Front 242 (80's-90's industrial/dance) 708. How can one put an end to procrastination, as a bad habit? make a list everyday and committing to finishing those tasks everyday. 709. What feature would you want on your car that is not currently offered? inbuilt gps. or subwoofers. 710. What kind of poetry speaks to you? song. 711. What is your favorite store that is open 24 hours? there is nothing open here 24/7 but mcdonalds and gas stations. 712. Do you find that sleep is just so much sleepier when you are supposed to be doing something else? sure. 713. Do you also find that the books you chose are so much more luscious when you have a stack of actual assignments that you Should be reading? of course. 714. If you have had the chance to compare the original 5000 Question Survey to this edited version, what is your opinion? i don’t know the original version. 715. What's the most creative answer you can think of for 'what is black and white and red all over'? a newspaper. 716. Why do people slow down on the highway when they pass a cop car pulling someone else over? either to watch or make sure to follow the speed limit in case the cop goes after them instead? 717. Are they afraid that the cop will STOP pulling over whoever he is pulling over and pull them over instead? yeah, just said that lol. 718. It's daddy's birthday. What do you get him? i’ll ask him what he wants a week beforehand. 719. What's your 5,000 question survey nickname? Look at the word next to the 2nd letter of your first name A anything but B bubalicious C captivating D deadly E erotic F funky G greasy H heaps of I indie J jelly K kinetic L lasher M Mr. (or Mrs.) N neglected O ogre-like P parading Q quacking R Rico S stinky T the one and only U uber V Velcro W wishing for X x-tra Y yearning for Z zoobalee Now take the first letter of your last name. A aardvarks B baboo C creme pie D drag queen E eggbert F flex G god H hell I Isabelle J juice K kisses L lightning M mannish boys N nice O octopi P porcupines Q q-bert R rainbows S suave T tushy U underwear V valor W weenie X xtc Y yohimbe Z zipper Put the two words together for your nickname. erotic drag queen. 720. You know that shaky feeling that you get when it's all coming to a climax, and everyone involved is breaking into the good kind of cold sweat, working as individuals and at the same time as a single force of energy, and it all meshes together, and for a brief moment, you're holding your breath and tingling all over, and after it's done you're on an explosive and dizzying high for the rest of the night? What does that feeling come from? drugs or adrenaline surely. 721. How many of your teachers can you imagine drinking or doing drugs on the weekends? i don’t go to school anymore. 722. Do you like Alice in Wonderland or Through the Looking Glass? i haven’t seen it. 723. Write a question and answer it here. no. 724. Who is your favorite playwright? none. 725. What movie has come out recently that you couldn’t have less interest in? the emoji movie lmao. 726. What would the worst movie ever be about? emojis. 727. Do you like truffles? Do you like Turkish delight? i like both. 728. Can you tell the difference between a transvestite and a real woman? i mean would it matter if i could/couldn’t? 729. What's funnier, plants or fire extinguishers? neither. 730. For question 720 did you write down sex? You pervert, I was thinking of musical theater. nope. 731. Which is better, leopard print or plaid? haha plaid if i had to. 732. What would you consider ordinary? ugg boots lmao. 733. What is out of the ordinary? idk. 734. Do you ever watch COPS? bahaha yeah when it was on tv at like 2 in the morning. 735. Is there always room for j - e - l - l - o? no. 736. If you had your own TV show, what kind of show would you make it? reality probably. 737. Do you know how heavy things like airplanes stay in the air? i have a faint idea. 738. When do you act the most dramatic? most of the time. 739. Are you one of those people who have, "see photo id,” written on the back of their credit cards? nope. 740. It's mom’s birthday. What do you get her? i’ll ask her what she wants a week beforehand. 741. What celebrity has pretty much disappeared leaving you wondering 'where are they now'? that video vixen, angel lola luv. 742. Would you get angry if you and your girl/boyfriend saw the preview for a movie and talked about seeing it together and then they saw it with one of their friends while you were busy? hahahahaha this has happened before. i was sorta annoyed but got over it quickly. 743. How many people do you think will finish this whooooooole survey? i’m sure there’s people that have. i’ll try my best. 744. Have you ever written a message, sealed it in a bottle and thrown it into a river/lake ocean? nope. 745. If you haven't would you want to? too much effort. 746. If you ever did what would you write? - 747. What do you wish you could always be protected from? danger. 748. What small thing annoys you so much it should be a crime? arrogance. 749. Would you rather watch a video of fish in a tank, or the Yule log on TV? fish in a tank. 750. Is it better to be loved or feared? loved. 751. What causes you to panic? things not going to plan. 752. Do you believe that you have a strong personality? kinda. but lately i’ve gotten a bit more laidback. 753. When Jesus saves souls...does he trade them in for valuable prizes? i don’t think so. 754. What resolutions would you make if it were new years? lose weight, save money. 755. Why wait? i’m not waiting right now. 756. Do you feel like time is on your side or working against you? working against me. 757. What do you do for yourself when you are down to put a little joy back into your life? distract myself with netflix. 758. How much Tolkien have you read? none. 759. These are the songs on the radio. Which are you most likely to listen to: Time Bomb by Rancid Dead Man's party by Oingo Boingo The Sun Always Shines on TV by A-ha 50 Ways to leave Your Lover by Paul Simon Run by collective Soul none 760. Do you believe that Jesus existed as a real person? well yeah, hasn’t it been proven he was real? 761. Do you believe he was the son of god? haha idk. 762. How do you feel about organized religion? it is what it is. i’m all for different religions, i’m just against brainwashing cults. 763. What sentence have you heard lately, that would sound pretty odd out of context? idk. 763. If you had to choose one image to be a symbol of our times, what would you pick? a damn smartphone. 764. Name a group of people: millennials. 765. How many of them does it take to screw in a light bulb? google it. 766. Do you like the movie The Labyrinth with David Bowie and some muppets? i haven’t seen it. 767. Do you like the movie The Dark Crystal? never seen it. 768. Metallica or Guns N' Roses? neither. 769. Do you follow the Chinese zodiac? no, but i know i’m born in the year of the horse. 770. Do you like reggae music? i don’t hate it. 771. What makes your life worth it every day? just all the opportunities i’ve been given. 772. Do you seize each day and sink your teeth into it? unfortunately not. 773. I’ve heard people say that Jim Morrison never yawned because he was just so full of life. How often do you yawn? everyday probably. 774. Who decides what behavior is 'crazy' or 'sane'? idk... 775. Who are the most inspiring artists, musicians, poets, and writers? honestly anyone who’s striving to be successful in those crafts. 776. Did anything historically significant happen in the year you were born? all i know is that pretty woman was released lol. 777. Besides blowing out birthday candles when do you make wishes? 11:11 sometimes. haven’t caught that time in forever. 778. Are you self-sufficient? yes. 779. Is it better to be wanted or needed? wanted. being needed can be pretty hard. 780. What do you feel is an appropriate age to lose one’s virginity at? whenever the person is ready. 781. Do you feel that the appropriate age for girls and for boys is different? probably.  782. Are you a hard person to get to know? not really. if i get along with someone and conversation flows well then it’s fine. 783. What is the craziest thing you have ever done out of anger? thrown my phone into the other side of the room. 784. What's the MOST annoying sound you can think of? nails on a chalkboard. 785. What's the silliest vegetable you can think of? bittermelon. 786. Do you believe in love at first sight? no. 787. Name one thing you have referred to in the past as “better than sex”: i haven’t. 788. What do you see when you turn out the light? nothing. 789. Do you like jazz, blues and/or swing music? i don’t typically listen to it but it’s nice. 790. Do you prefer gold or silver jewelry? white gold. 791. In what ways do you want your children to be like you? everything except my laziness. 792. In what ways would you want your children to be different from you? my laziness lol. 793. What was the scariest movie you've ever seen? idk. the conjuring. 794. What was the funniest movie you've ever seen? 40yo virgin. 795. What was the worst movie you've ever seen? umm idk, like mean girls 2 haha. 796. Are you a good massage-giver? i think so. 797. What is one question that no one can ever truthfully answer 'yes' to? idk. 798. Is there more to this world than human beings can perceive? i’m sure there is. 799. If matter is neither created nor destroyed then is it possible that you are made up of molecules that once made up Ghandi or Jesus or Einstein? well possibly but i doubt it. 800. Are you often sarcastic? pretty often.

[circumswoop]

perfect, really easy

I hope I can still do this. Write on my phone. Write at all. I still have a messy novel that’s really more of a deconstructed memoir buried in a google doc and I think I have a heart buried somewhere nearby too. The pilot Ben and I are trying to make has been slowed by technical misfortune, substance abuse, and literal distance. I was told from a neutral corner that my dialogue, which is my main consultancy, is too cerebral and will make the show Hard to Sell. If u gave me cash up front, I would be willing to make it dumb. If it’s spec only, I think the smartness of it swings a kind of bellum against my own boredom. It is, indirectly, a show abt a woman who’s turning 30, has two boyfriends, and is constantly thinking up ways to avoid both of them. 

I’m in a rental car with two friends in the middle of New Mexico. Scheduled to go to Marfa two weeks ago, we got into some leftover coke one of us had, mere hours out from our flight, and then nobody woke up on time. Hence the rental. This has got me fucked up, the mind-blowing lack of quality control that went into this. Who books a flight and doesn’t show up? Who does coke and then oversleeps? I now have credit toward a future flight, to a destination I can’t imagine, bc the future rn is the only thing I truly believe to be fake news. Where shd I go next–home for christmas? A beach where the sand looks and feels like broken glass? I want to breathe into a balloon til it turns into another planet where depressing inadequacy is not so elemental. I feel like a farmboy who cannot get all his chores done. This year and the whole headlong rush of this epoch toward certain death by profit cannot be sensationalized enough, and yet sensation is almost all it consists of. An indefinite, generalized body feeling is what we are all turning into as news and politics hammer us with detail. All hammer, no sickle. In the time it took to write the last paragraph, which also involved a lot of staring out the window while eating Taco Bell to be honest with you, we crossed from New Mexico into Texas. Welcome to Texas here’s your white hood. Welcome to Texas the state that killed Kennedy. Actually it was a supreme leftist who killed the centrist Kennedy, but the John Birch fascists get all the credit. Such is our myth of Texas that we empower their racists with more historical thought and influence than they ever exerted over their most famous export which is assassination.

I am in Marfa for the unaccustomed luxury of time spent with friends in an unfamiliar place.

At the start of summer I wrote in an email “even better than love’s confessions are its permissions”. According to the Invisible Committee, much of being a radical is refusal of the world. As abstention makes me feel more miserable not less, I can’t relate. Maybe the reason I can’t go full radical, or am fatally reluctant to, is I like being able to say yes a lot. Anytime I feel desolate or estranged, I get kitted out and go be seen in public even if I don’t talk to anyone. Which I usually don’t. My friend Chloe says she does this too. Love only makes sense to me as a radical act. Much of what passes for functional love in this culture is really just a bunch of hyperextended reactions to institutionalized sadness, but lots of luck finding anything better. I’d like to beat bourgeois coupling unconscious as much as any self-made cynic, but when you compare American marriage to, say, American corrections, both of which are needed systems lost for good in insane blears of greed and paranoia, abolition may not be the answer. It’s like, you can fix it only by starting over which is not the same thing as abolition. Abortion maybe, bc you can always try again if u want. Habitually getting mixed up with ppl already in committed relationships is probably just emotional vampirism. Some call it looting, I call it eating. As a marginal figure slightly on the spectrum with anxiety and repression who can still somehow lie and flirt and manipulate at the executive level all while having no interpersonal or socioeconomic prospects that I don’t want anyway, I am a really good last chance for someone with a probably basic, art-damaged kind of life. Married women always speak of their husband figures in slightly awed tones like they can’t believe how lucky they got, like the man is good in all caps and would instantly unravel at the slightest seam in the stocking. Like if he ever caught them stepping out via some OPSEC mistake they made and not even by his own subatomic awareness level, he’d be demolished simply by never having had anything go wrong for him before. Husband is such a specific kind of person-state, grown and trained, and if I were to ever try to be one i would have to hack the shit out of it–although I’m not convinced they’re any less toxic just bc they’re more high-functioning. Meanwhile the wives or wives-in-waiting pretend not to know they’re already starring in a commercial for how much sweetness and light and GOOD do not fulfil. In short, this is the kind of lawlessness that permits radical love but briefly, before turning again to refusal–the refusal to tamper with status quo, to make any kind of permanent alteration. If it’s secretly very trendy to decry structures the existence of which you not so secretly benefit from, what’s worse is to treat those structures more like fabrics to loiter in or on, or touch longingly. Essentialism doesn’t rend.

If you fall in love with someone you’re not really allowed to, and then that love goes mutual, you’re at least tagging yourself in a picture of paradise. But eventually you’ll be asked to leave. And since paradise is just a picture anyway, your image will feel decayed and exposed. Now it’s 2 days later and I’m back in New Mexico. Despite being a dreamlike Klono-state of pleasant denial, Marfa is still in Texas, the roguest of states. We drove near the Mexican border thru light so splendid the terrain looked recently refreshed. We put our hands in natural running water and looked at millipedes stranded on rocks. A thunderstorm diffused somewhere off to the side. Every picture arrives on your phone instantly airbrushed. The sky dies in pinwheels of color every evening and then reblooms like it never happened, sunsets and sunrises as breakdowns and recoveries scaled to look like natural events. Texas is beautiful but it is not art. Drive-thru banks, courthouse annexes, touchless car washes, parked backhoes, so many f150s.

Halcyon Digest, the Deerhunter record that didn’t define a decade but definitely translated it, was on repeat all summer. So we were playing that as we barreled thru arroyos and past rock formations so intricate they looked cut with string, and I remembered a night earlier in this terrible terrible summer when Ben and Andrea and I were doing coke and playing dominos at like 3am and the song Helicopter was on–that’s the one abt the Russian fashion hopeful murdered by sex traffickers. Its lyrics are too beautiful to edit so I will not reprint them here but I remember as Bradford sang “I have minimal needs/and now they are thru with me” something resetting as I looked at the faces of my friends, like a key of exquisite sadness being turned but I did not know in what lock. I’m certain it wasn’t just a drug reference, and I’m certain I won’t realize exactly what it was for years. 

On the 10 out of town, just before the Prada store, there is a zeppelin, part of the Tethered Aerostat Radar System, used by border patrol. Its role is surveillance. Unmanned, it hangs perpetually off the ground, secured by a single cable, from which it can reach altitudes of 15,000 feet, a white bulge of eerie focus, as various homing info scatters and beams. If you ran for your life, this is the thing you would imagine hovering over you, just out of frame. The kind of thing that knows it doesn’t have to hurry to get you. So run. Maybe I can still do it.

[kidsviral-blog]

Inside The Chilling Online World Of The Women Of ISIS

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/inside-the-chilling-online-world-of-the-women-of-isis/

Inside The Chilling Online World Of The Women Of ISIS

Conversations between young women who claim to be ISIS members living in Syria provide a disturbing insight into the everyday lives of female militants.

update

The Facebook profiles embedded in the original version of this story have been deactivated and replaced with screenshots of the pages. “All of those pages have been removed as they violate our standards, which don’t permit terrorist groups to use our site,” Facebook communications manager Andrew Souvall confirmed. BF_STATIC.timequeue.push(function () document.getElementById(“update_article_update_time_3795746”).innerHTML = UI.dateFormat.get_formatted_date(‘2014-09-12 12:12:32 -0500’, ‘update’); );

2. Twenty-year-old Aqsa Mahmood recently made headlines around the world when her parents revealed that she had run away from her home in Scotland and traveled to Syria to join the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) and marry a militant.

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Courtesy Mahmood Family

3. Like many young women, Mahmood has several social media profiles, including a Tumblr page (which she has been updating regularly from Syria) under the name Umm Layth.

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fa-tubalilghuraba.tumblr.com

4. A look at her blog’s archive reveals her intense interest in Islam and apparent desire to become a jihadi. It also shows communications with other like-minded women, such as the one below, which was posted before Mahmood left her home in November 2013.

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fa-tubalilghuraba.tumblr.com / Via Image posted October 28, 2013.

5. Mahmood’s first Twitter account, @UmmLayth_, has been deactivated, but since November 18, 2013, she has been tagged in images and posts by other young men and women who claim to be living in Syria.

My sisters @UmmLayth_ Umm Haritha & Umm Ubaydiah ♡ (@Al_Khanssaa)May Allah unite us soon

— _UmmWaqqas (@ام وقاص)

6. The women refer to immigrating to the “Islamic state” as “hijrah,” or pilgrimage. Posts on Twitter indicate that she planned the journey with other young women she met online.

My sisters. We made hijrah together, May Allāh grant us shahada together & unite us in Jannah @UmmLayth_ @bintladen1

— Al_Khanssaa (@أم عبيدة)

7. In Syria, Mahmood began updating her blog with descriptions of her life as a member of ISIS. In April 2014, she posted that she had set up a new Twitter account.

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fa-tubalilghuraba.tumblr.com

8. The account and its interactions indicate that it’s likely being run by an English-speaking young woman living in Syria.

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Twitter: @AlBrittaniyah

9. Tumblr posts and tweets indicate that Mahmood has married a “mujahid”, the word ISIS fighters use for themselves.

Only after becoming the wife of a Mujahid do you realise why there is so much reward in this action.

— AlBrittaniyah (@.)

10. (Mahmood’s parents have confirmed that she is now married.)

Once you make Hijrah feesabeelilah then your Husband is your only family, and to be able to sacrifice that is always easier said than done.

— AlBrittaniyah (@.)

11. An examination of the accounts followed by Mahmood’s purported pages reveal communications with many other young women who claim to be ISIS members living in Syria.

Next to one of the street art with @AlBrittaniyah and umm haritha.

— Al_Khanssaa (@أم عبيدة)

12. A Facebook search of the usernames followed by Mahmood’s account yields similar results. The women of ISIS appear to have established networks across social media platforms, which they use to connect with one another and recruit other women.

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Facebook: Muslim-Women-In-Jihad

13. Some use Ask.fm to answer questions about the process of traveling to Syria to join the insurgency.

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ask.fm / Via Google Cache: this account has been deleted.

14. The instant messaging app KiK is how these women communicate with those seriously considering making the journey.

Wallah one of the things most loved to me is when a sister sincerely kiks me because she wants me to help her make hijrah.

— Al_Khanssaa (@أم عبيدة)

15. Interested parties are directed to online guides with step-by-step instructions on how to get to ISIS-controlled territory — including advice on how to deceive Turkish customs agents.

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paladinofjihad.tumblr.com

16. On multiple platforms, the women of ISIS offer advice and encouragement to those debating joining the group.

sisters who are coming dont take your eyes of ur luggage or u’ll never see it again. keep it with u so I don’t have to tell u #itoldyouso

— bintladen1 (@Jihadi Jane)

17. This online support is necessary, since some women make the journey without their family’s permission. In a blog post, Mahmood explains how to deal with familial pressure.

The first phone call you make once you cross the borders is one of the most difficult things you will ever have to do. Your parents are already worried enough over where you are, wether you are okay and what’s happened. How does a parent who has little Islamic knowledge and understanding comprehend why their son or daughter has left their well off life, education and a bright future behind to go live in a war torn country. Most likely they will blame themselves, they will think they have done something. But until they truly understand from the bottom of their heart that you have done this action sincerely for Allah’s sake they will live in hope that you will return. They might assume this is a ‘phase’ you are going through or a huge mistake you have made. I know of people who have been here in Shaam for over 2 years and their parents still try to persuade them to come back and live in false hope. Make Duaa that Allaah makes it easy for your parents to understand and accept your Hijrah feesabeelilah.

Sometimes it would be easier for you to accept your parents disowning you and wanting nothing to do with you.

However when you hear them sob and beg like crazy on the phone for you to come back it’s so hard. Wallahi it’s so hard to hear this and I can never do justice to how cold hearted you feel. But as long as you are firm and you know that this is all for the sake of Allah then nothing can shake you inshaAllaah.

18. The posts by these women — many of whom claim to have traveled to ISIS-occupied Syria from Western countries — provide a chilling look into the everyday lives of these female militants.

Proud of Mujahideen I love Mujahideen becauseThey Are our Protector……. <3 #IS #Khilafah

— MinaMiinaaa (@Mina Mina)

19. Under ISIS’ rule, women are required to cover themselves in public. The niqab, a head covering that only reveals a woman’s eyes, is mandatory.

Every woman in #Raqqa wears hijab shar’i. #ISIS #Syria. Dawlatul Islam Baqiyah!

— Ghareeba_7 (@أم هريرة #ﺑﺎﻗﻴﺔ)

20. Some women appear to have chosen to cover up more than is required, adding gloves and additional veils so none of their skin can be seen.

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Twitter: @UmmKhattab__ / Via This tweet has been deleted

21. Sharia law is strictly enforced, according to the women.

Drove passed the body of the man who was crucified in manbij for raping a 70 year old. Perks of living under the shade of Shariah :p

— Al_Khanssaa (@أم عبيدة)

22. (Islamic law dictates that the punishment for stealing is the loss of a hand.)

Alhumdulilaah there were 4 hand cuttings in Mimbej yesterday. & 1 was a man who was nearly a part of Doula (he was doing a Shareeah course)

— AlBrittaniyah (@.)

23. All work ceases for the daily prayers.

Written on the van Forbidding the evil & enjoining in the good,that goes around town telling shops to close for salah

— Al_Khanssaa (@أم عبيدة)

24. Polygamy is practiced, they say.

Being in a place where my 22 year old bro casually has three wives & not having to worry is beautiful

— SistersHayaa (@LIONESS!!!)

25. And it appears from the women’s posts as if some non-Muslim women are kept as slaves.

Walked into a room, gave salam to everyone in the room to find out there was a yazidi slave girl there as well.. she replied to my salam :/

— UmmAnwar_ (@Umm Anwar)

26. These posts and images from ISIS women are at times surprisingly familiar, such as this Instagram-like sunset photo.

As the sunsets in a part of shaam with @ukhtiB

— UmmAnwar_ (@Umm Anwar)

27. Or this food picture by “Umm Musab,” whose Twitter profile reads: “american [sic] muhajira living in the blessed land of Sham (Syria).”

dinner the sisters cooked..fish cought from the Furat river (:

— aishasara4 (@UmmMusab)

28. The selfie culture merges with the culture of jihad.

Chilling with the jihaadi twins hehe and @UmmKhattab__ visits us frequently! LOOL blessing from Allah….Khattab! Come upstairs you clothes

— ummkhalid__ (@Al Maghrebiyah)

29. Weapons are featured prominently.

My kalash :’) not really it belongs to someone else but it’s very nice lol

— UmmAnwar_ (@Umm Anwar)

30. Many of the most active women of ISIS on social media claim to be UK citizens.

Best thing ive done in my 18 years in this world is come to the blessed land of shaam and leave Britain the land of kuffar

— UmmKhattab__ (@Al jazraweeya)

31. Although they don’t claim to have any loyalty to their homelands.

So there’s a threat by David Cameron to revoke our passports. If I could I would burn my passport and send the ashes right to your door step

— Al_Khanssaa (@أم عبيدة)

. @Al_Khanssaa is it healthy for me to do an hourly countdown can’t wait lool

— bintladen1 (@Jihadi Jane)

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Twitter: @UmmKhattab__ / Via This account is now protected.

And we sacrificed all of that for the best in akriah were not stupid young brainwashed females weve come here to syria for ALLAH alone

— UmmKhattab__ (@Al Britaniyaa)

I might be only 18 but I know coming to shaam the best decision staying in the UK completely diminishes your islam

— UmmKhattab__ (@Al Britaniyaa)

36. In an update to her blog on Thursday, Mahmood echoed this sentiment, vowing that she and her fellow insurgents would only return to their homelands “to raise our flag.”

All of us disassociated ourselves from our families, friends and societies. We make it known to the world that never has our allegiance been to the Scottish, British, Swedish, American, Canadian etc…. government. Wallahi we are free of those living in the West who know and proclaim the Shahadah while being beneath the feet of the Kuffar. Ittaqullah.

Know this Cameron/Obama, you and your countries will be beneath our feet and your Kufr will be destroyed, this is a promise from Allah swt that we have no doubt over. If not you then your grandchildren or their grandchildren. But worry not, somewhere along the line your blood will be spilled by our cubs in Dawlah. We have conquered these lands once Beithnillah we will do it again. Read up on your History, and know that it will repeat itself, you will pay Jizyah to us just like you did in the past. This Islamic Empire shall be known and feared world wide and we will follow none other than the Law of the one and the only ilah!

So our answer to our passports being confiscated? Wow wallahiil Adheeem biggest joke of this week. The only time we will ever, ever return to those lands beithnillah is to raise our flag.

Via fa-tubalilghuraba.tumblr.com

37. The Facebook page Diary of a Muhajirah provides a fascinating look into this society and the ISIS way of life. The blogger is a Western woman who originally travelled to Syria to work as a doctor.

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Facebook: Bird0fJannah / Via This page has been deleted or deactivated.

38. In one post, the woman, who calls herself Bird of Jannah, describes her arranged marriage to her militant husband two months after she arrived in Syria. They met and were married on the same day.

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Facebook: Bird0fJannah / Via This page has been deleted or deactivated.

39. Her posts suggest the marriage is a happy one.

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Facebook: Bird0fJannah / Via This page has been deactivated or deleted.

40. Marriage to a fighter is essentially a requirement for all women who join ISIS. Since they are forbidden from engaging in armed combat, their primary role appears to be taking care of their husbands, and, eventually, children.

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birds-of-jannah.tumblr.com

41. Unmarried women live in a group home called a “maqar” until their marriages are arranged and approved.

Single Sisters who wish to come here you get married, if not yous will be staying in a maqar #IS

— UmmAnwar_ (@Umm Anwar)

42. Mahmood explains this to female would-be jihadis on her blog. “It’s most appropriate and better for the sisters to get married sooner.”

I have stressed this before on twitter but I really need sisters to stop dreaming about coming to Shaam and not getting married. Wallahi life here is very difficult for the Muhajirat and we depend heavily on the brothers for a lot of support. It is not like the west where you can casually walk out and go to Asda/Walmart and drive back home… even till now we have to stay safe outside and must always be accompanied by a Mahram.

Even though we are living in land which is under the control of Doula, there are still a lot of munafiqeen roaming the streets openly. Unless of course if you have family here, if your father or brother is here then it is a different situation. Regardless, it’s most appropriate and better for the sisters to get married sooner.

Via fa-tubalilghuraba.tumblr.com

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Twitter: @Al_Khanssaa / Via This tweet has been deleted.

44. Many of the brides of ISIS are young. This newly engaged woman lists her age as 21 on her Facebook profile.

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Facebook: 100008411941520 / Via This page has been deactivated or deleted.

45. The constant fighting leaves many new wives alone for lengths of time. “Nothing beats the palpitation that a Mujahid’s wife has whilst checking list names of the Martyrs,” one wife explained.

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Facebook: Bird0fJannah / Via This page has been deactivated or deleted.

46. As a result, many of these new brides are soon widowed (and remarried, after an appropriate amount of time).

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Mujahida Umm Asma / Via Facebook: profile.php

47. Although the men do the fighting, the women of ISIS use social media to glorify the group’s horrific “victories”. Many women, including this self-proclaimed UK citizen, posted graphic images of journalist James Foley being beheaded by an insurgent.

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Twitter: @bintladen1

48. One ISIS woman (whose Facebook profile claims that she went to a Chicago high school) complained about not being able to post graphic decapitation images on her page.

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Facebook: muslimahsalafi123786 / Via This page has been deactivated or deleted.

49. These are women who “LOL” about beheadings as they defend them.

We worship Allah and we do what is best for our deen even if that means beheading a kaffir. Fear Allah and strike fear in the kuffar’s heart

— UmmAnwar_ (@Umm Anwar)

Lol I have American journalists asking me questions about why muhajirahs like nutella while dawla is capturing and killing their colleagues

— Al_Khanssaa (@أم عبيدة)

51. They use Twitter to mock journalists who write about them.

LoolHow the news speaks the opposite love my husband alhamdulillah ❤

— jafarbritaniya (@Umm Ja’far)

These journalist are so annoying no wonder they get kidnapped audibillah

— UmmKhattab__ (@Al Britaniyaa)

53. And express the desire to fight and behead people themselves.

If we ever get hold of her I call dibs on cutting her head plz @UmmLayth_ @Al_Khanssaa https://t.co/K3VTQZ6feP

— bintladen1 (@Jihadi Jane)

54. In a chilling exchange, one woman jokes and laughs with a friend about the first time they saw a dead body.

@aishasara4 loool yes and seeing for the first time a dead body loooool hahahahahha that was so funny

— ummyusuf22 (@ام يوسف)

@ummyusufal__ hahahahaha omg I completely forgot about that hahaha subhanAllah ahhh..ahh there having a convoy here in Raqqah today #Khilafa

— aishasara4 (@UmmMusab)

56. On 9/11, many gleefully posted about the anniversary of the terrorist attacks against America.

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Twitter: @Al_Khanssaa / Via This tweet has been deleted.

Happy #9/11 Happiest day of my life.Hopefully more to come InSha Allah #IS

— jafarbritaniya (@Umm Ja’far)

The day Osama Bin Laden made America taste it’s own medicine!! Its not nice to see your people die right 9/11

— UmmKhattab__ (@Al Britaniyaa)

59. Or posted about the “hero” and “martyr” Osama bin Laden.

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facebook.com / Via Muslim Women In Jihad: This page has been deleted.

60. Instead of being afraid of possible US action, they claim to be excited about the opportunity to kill more non-Muslims.

I am more then confident that no one in dawlah fears US invasion in fact we are all pretty excited more shuhadah and more slaying kuffar

— UmmKhattab__ (@Al Britaniyaa)

61. The women of ISIS, like the men, are confident of their eventual victory.

Victory or martyrdom Bi’ithnilahi ta3la

— SistersHayaa (@LIONESS!!!)

They have taken an oath of death whenever the enemy invadesThey seek the gardens of eternity, and they fulfill their oath

— bintladen1 (@Jihadi Jane)

“Her

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/ellievhall/inside-the-online-world-of-the-women-of-isis