#she told me that she’s proud of me too
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it’s crazy how much having a safe place to be yourself and express your identity and personality and interests, both online and irl, can change your will to live. honestly.
#i came out to my fav professor/mentor today#it was kind of impulsive but idk#she��s just made me feel so safe and supported and cared ab#that honestly all i wanted to do was tell her#and hear what my new chosen name sounds like when she says it. idk.#anyway she was So incredibly receptive and understanding and supportive#like she said things i needed to hear that i didn’t even know i needed to hear#at one point she essentially reassured me that she doesn’t and won’t ever love me any less as a boy#and she immediately wanted to call me by my chosen name and use my preferred pronouns#and she kept telling me too that there’s no pressure or need to stress and that if i ever wanna adjust the name or pronouns i can#and that gender isn’t a fixed thing ofc#she told me that she’s proud of me too#god i’m so luckyyyy dude#i feel so loved and cared about#also i said in an email recently that i was looking for a part time job (like totally as a separate thing i mentioned bc of scheduling stuff#and totally unprompted today#she started talking to me about getting a paid position for me set up with some grant money ig??#which we were already tentatively planning on doing next semester#but bc she saw me say that she’s trying to get it set up now 🥺🥺#AGH i kinda love my life rn#but i’m so terrified to and im even more afraid to admit that#anyway so sorry this is an excessive amount of tags#silas speaks#vent#trans#transmasc#trans masc#transgender#queer#lgbtq+
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wonderful
#there is a ranboo that goes withthis but i didn't like how he was looking imma restart from scratch tmrw😭😭#ctubbo#michael beloved#ctubbo fanart#Guys you have no idea what i went through today like it wa fucking crazy i need to share this#so i went to the mall after school right and im going home at like 8 on the train with my friend bc i was supposed to be picked up ay her#stop right but then im told to just go to my stop and take the bus and im like ok sure but the problem is my phone is on SEVEN PERCENT and w#hen i get to the stop my moms like u have money for the bus right and im like ueah and i check and i have NO MONEY#BUT I DIDNT TELL HER ANUTHING BC I DIDNT WANT HER TI GET MAD BC I KNEW SHE WOUDKNT WANT ME TO WALK ALL THE WAY HOME AT NIGHT (FOURTY BLOCKS#So im like ok im getting on the bus now my phone is on four percent i have to WALK HOME allll that way and there's this crazy ass upward hi#ll that's like ten blocks long ITS NOT EVEN THAT BAD but like my mom thinks im on the bus so im trying to speed walk as fast as i can and i#RAWDOGGED it too because MU PHONE WAS GOING TO IDE!!!!#I made it home at two percent U guys i was so proud of myself thank u for listening#IM SO MAD IT WOUKDVE BEEN OKAY IF I WASNT IN A RUSH And also if i had music uggghhh Whatever#I bought this really cute skirt at garage hold on let me find it#lexi pleated skort color Navy blue ITS SOOOO CUTE got some new leg warmers too yesss....#I NEED TO DOWNLOAD THE TRANSIT APP i woukdve been able to attach my apple pay and buy the stupid ticket if my phonewasnnt#too dead to do al that...#Guys always make sure u carry cash with yiu goodbye
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mia fey x butch godot yuri,,,,
#yea im normal about this one too#look i did a background r u proud of me#my art#butch godot#ace attorney#prosecutor godot#godot#mia fey#yuri#genderswap#please i promise this is yuri i promise this is my butch godot i know its hard to tell#she doesnt look massively different shes just like a year on estrogen please#ooubbh women#i told u i was cookin w this#miego
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someone said rin has the aura of a wet cat and its kinda tru
#blue lock#itoshi rin#blue lock memes#bllk memes#cat memes#blue lock cat memes#its a thing now#i asked my friend if he looks like a wet cat and she told me nervously that he initially looked like he was covered in glitter#i cant stop seeing the glitter but then hes also a wet cat and its just too much#the glitters probably from how gay everything is#rins a wet cat so everyone else can be proud and purfect#hes also just very easy to throw water at#i swear hes my fave#wet cat#my art#my blue lock art#my precious precious trash baby#trash baby#YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
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idk, i feel like it can’t be overstated that satine kryze /would/ be so proud of bo-katan especially right now. she’s unifying the people, she’s gaining respect and loyalty beyond that which lies with the darksaber, and she’s doing everything in her power to keep her people safe and well.
she even gave up and surrendered everything, taking huge risks to ensure the safety of her people, and while it backfired her intent was so good and pure. she’s come so incredibly far from when she was in death watch, she’s living with kindness instead of hate, and i think that’s everything satine would have wanted for her.
i see people say that satine would blame bo-katan for what became of mandalore but i couldn’t disagree more. satine knew how hard ruling mandalore was. she’d never hold it against bo now, especially with everything bo did to save it, and with everything she’s doing now to get it back.
satine would be so incredibly proud of her and i won’t hear any different.
#satine kryze#bo katan kryze#kryze sisters#the mandalorian#mandalore#idk it just bothers me when people act like satine would be anything other than proud#this is part of why i wish someone would mention her too#bo needs to be told how proud satine would be#i think satine would care more for bo’s physical and emotional health than anything also#never would she ever hold what happened to mandalore since her death against her sister#we literally saw from their one (1) interaction how willing she was to forgive bo#she loved her idc
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“He'd deceived her, had lied to her. This man who she'd believed held no secrets between them. She didn't know why it made her want to shred everything within sight.”
— cause um… as you just said Miss Manon YOU CARE (& it’s even giving Chaolaena vibes in the I CARE way)… so like all I’m saying is you love him duh?
#Chapter 40#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#no spoilers please#Manon Blackbeak#Dorian Havilliard#first read#read with me#read along#more quotes notes reacts and spoilers in tags and not course post for chapter#Blueblood and Yellowlegs and Blackbeak alike.' And she would bear the weight of what she'd created what she'd trained forever.#I want to bring them all home. Before it is too late before they become something unworthy of a homeland.#So what are you going to do? Asterin asked softly but not weakly.#the fact Asterin is described as speaking softly but not weakly#The answer did not lie in picking one over the other Crochan over Ironteeth. It never had.#He'd known and hadn't told her. Kaltain had vanished into the night air and then Dorian had shifted. Into a beautiful proud raven.#our beautiful proud bluebell eyed definetly not bored Raven boy bb prince king lovey#knew there was nothing kind nothing warm on her face. A witch's face. Blackbeak's face.#but your not a witch manon#His eyes glowed like blue fire. — intrigue normally they say that for Aelin#My road leads to Morath. It always has. How can you have looked at Kaltain and not seen what awaits you?#I love the full circle of Kaltain#We will lose this war if I do not go he snapped. How do you not care about that? — that responsibility and weight again#oh great no it’s not gonna be one of them both Aelin and Dorian will want to self sacrifice and fight over who gets to#thank the Wyrd for Manon and Rowan to stop them and be protection squad so no more Romeo Juliet’s#I CARE — it doesn’t make you weak — he knew she’d care — the full circle#I care if we lose this war I care if I fail2rally the Crochans I care if u go in2Morath&do not return as something worth living.#it’s giving Zoyalai; my beautiful ruthless Zoya Id hand hand you the final blow myself quote vibes#Now do you wish to tell me that caring is not such a bad thing? Well this is what comes of it.#Witchling — princeling — the literal cold shoulder
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so a Welsh lad broke my bestie’s heart and I am in curfew: not allowed to talk about Wales for a few days. I got an email saying ‘yeah, we can send Huw Stephens onto your show’. What do you want me to do. Not tell anyone. Combust.
#My Apologies To The Proud And Prosperous Nation Of Wales#This Too Shall Pass etc etc#Don’t take it too seriously; she’s just heartbroken#I told her don’t you ever date a Canadian because if thinking of me ever makes you sad#I’ll have to kil someone. Possibly an ex-boyfriend
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sometimes I think about how when I went to college for a year before I dropped out (basically failed out,) the counselors/dean told me they can't help me at all or give any accommodations unless I have an official autism/adhd diagnosis. that might sound logical at first, but when you think about it more, it's actually quite fucked up. if someone is struggling really bad, what's the harm in helping them? why do they require a paper to get even the smallest amount of help? people who don't need help aren't going to be failing miserably without help! even NTs could benefit from some adjustments to the horrible school system! (but changing the entire system is a whole other conversation that the school system isnt ready for)
but even if you do agree to jump through their hoops, you realize it's even more fucked up that the diagnosis process requires YEARS in most cases (in my case it took 4 or 5 years, can't recall exactly now, for autism/adhd diagnosis, which would have meant i finished school before getting it if i managed to mot fail out, or i wait that long before going back, which is a whole struggle itself) and they also tried billing me for THOUSANDS of dollars because of insurance issues!!
so you put a ton of time and money into this, and then get told the only accommodation they are willing to give you for autism and adhd is "a little extra time on tests"
....
my test scores were the best part of my whole class experience. that was NOT what I struggled with!!!!! those tests were all online and could be done in the comfort of your home where you can accommodate yourself and have plenty of time left over when you finish them because you are comfy in your own space, (and also, no one was stopping you from having your notes/books/google open to find the answers,) and you don't even need a time consuming, expensive diagnosis for that!
SO WHAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!
#mind you this was over 10 years ago now. it *could* have gotten better but id be extremely shocked if it has#autistic#autism#actually autistic#adhd#neurodivergent#audhd#school#school problems#yes i know theres rules or maybe even laws for this and its why they are like this but its bad and should change#if they offered smaller classes with less sensory overloading bullshit and other things i needed it would be great!#but they refuse to accommodate your actual needs and make up useless accommodations to legally say they help disabilities#ND people (not just audhd) and other disabled people that graduate with no useful accommodations are so strong and cool. proud of you!#ones who had to drop you youre also cool for not dealing with their bullshit snd allowing yourself to not suffer for a sheet of paper!#(though i know it can feel bad when everyone around you makes you feel bad for needed to drop out or failing out and not going back)#i completely stopped going to my psychology class because i started a week late due to scheduling issues and#suddenly we are told theres a paper due in 3 days and need to hse the textbook i didnt have yet as the source for it all#and it was in the syllabus i didnt get because i was a week late and didnt know we got one. the professor didnt notice me out of#the 100 other students in that large lecture hall. that room was also a sensory nightmare hellscape#too many students made things noisy and distracting. multiple fluorescent lights were flickering constantly and never fixed#the professor used a mic to speak to us and it had a constant horrible loud buzzing. it did that loud mic screech noise randomly#without warning. all the time. the quality of the sound was horrible so it was hard to understand her. on top of that she had a very thick#accent i wasnt familiar with so that on top of the horrible buzzing mkc quality that also cut her out constantly was auditory processing#disorder HELL. I dont know how ANYONE survived thst class but i seemed to be the only one struggling. everyone else turned in their papers#and i gave up and stopped going. was too late to drop the class to get my money back so i wasted probably a few thousand dollars#and THATS what i mean by give me reasonable and useful accommodation. test time would NOT make that class better at all#fix the mic and light issues at least or give me a smaller class with more attentive professor or something!#offer smaller classes for struggling disabled people! if the issue is not knowing who needs them then offer a switch to those struggling!#i got called onto a dean/counselor meeting because a professor noticed my horrible grades and stuff so its possible to catch us and help!#THESE SCHOOLS JUST NEED TO START BEING WILLING TO. dont make us do all the work to accommodate ourselves and expect to do well in school!
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broke up with my ex best friend for good👍🏼
#she finally texted me today and yeah the timing sucked since i was crying all weekend but i tried to reason with her for a few hours#and when i realized it was futile i let it go. and man and i dont even feel sad#she kinda forced me to move on im lowkey proud of myself#but man we're really bombing relationships left and right this week huh#i just feel like this weight is off my chest#my life feels so much lighter without her#too bad ill always have a tattoo of her but my sister told me thats a dumb reason to keep her in my life lol#i feel so. relieved. clean. kjfghdkjfhgdfjkhg#fresh chapter i cannot wait <3#vagueposting the shit out of tumblr dot com
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Yesterday I've been doing some proper physical exercise for the first time since last year and I'm just imagining how proud my f/os would be of me🥹
#it was just a 20 minute beginners home workout and I can feel every muscle in my body now but I think they'd be so happy I pushed through!#I've had particularly Heinz and Maximilian on my mind I think they would be sooo happy that I'm trying to take better care of myself💖#Heinz because he's always there anyway of course but I kind of imagine Max is probably overall the fittest out of my f/os#he seems like the kind of guy who'd want to be an example for his soldiers and always hold himself to the same standards as them#he'd be so supportive and cheer me on and be proud of me every time I get myself to do something😭💖💖#I've never particularly enjoyed doing sports (aside horse riding but in the past year I didn't have time anymore for that bc of uni😭😭)#so I didn't really do anything anymore after I finished school#I started doing simple home workouts last year but in winter my mental health went a little📉 and then I had no motivation to keep going#dunno how long I'll go through with it this time but better than nothing I guess#again with the home workouts lmao bc driving to the nearest gym ain't worth the time for me and I'd need some basic fitness first anyway#I'm doing it mainly for health reasons but this time I'm also motivated to actually get a bit stronger#I don't mind looking like a stick figure and I'm overall content with my body (maybe it could help me to look a bit more masc tho?👀👀)#but I know especially for my posture and such it would be good if my muscles were just a tad bit more developed#my mum was proud of me too when I told her about it hehe :) she works in healthcare she's always a little concerned#she's just a little worried about me getting health issues when I'm older that could be avoided by taking proper care of my body now#I get where she's coming from but it's not easy but at least I'm motivated to try again now :)#selnia talks
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:)
#I got one of my papers back for my poli sci class and I got a 96 on it 🥹#tears! she’s not a failure 🥹#yet 🤪 it’s never too late lol#really glad that somehow i ended up here after everything#sorry to talk about myself my parents have never told me they’re proud of me in my life I’ve got to do it myself at least :’)
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this is what happens when @vwritesaus sends you the first chapter of her new fic 😩💕
just to be clear, these are based on the first chapter of @vwritesaus's 'timeless' 💕 some are actual scenes from the fic, others are silly additions i had to make jkssj GO READ IT !!!! IT'S AMAZING. 😭 and you should see what comes next hehe
also have some close ups ✨
#ive already told v but this is definitely the hottest thomas ive ever drawn#and im proud 😌✨#she's just too powerful and her writing makes me ascend (and draw sexy thomas)#read. it.#thomas lightwood#matthew fairchild#james herondale#alastair carstairs#christopher lightwood#thomastair#tlh#the last hours#chain of iron#chain of gold#the shadowhunter chronicles#my art🌷
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🫧
#tw: vent#so my mother is basically mean to me like 99 % of the time and we literally argue every single day#and i have been trying my hardest to not pay any heed to what she tells me but recently she told me something that really#made me feel so incredibly hurt and stupid idek how to put thaf into words#i avoid sharing things with her because she makes me feel bad about even the tiniest most unnecessary thing i share with her#so basically i have this one friend who was staying away from home for uni and she lives near me so i always try to be there for her#becayse i know how lonely it gets for her and i always go everytime my friends need me and my mom hates that#she makes me feel like being nice to my friends and others is the dumbest thing on this planet and that im stupid#but if my sister does it she's an angel#i was just waiting for my friend to figure things out as she was moving back home after uni ended so we could go look at internships#toghether#and she went home and got a job and while im happy for her she didn't even mention anything about it which made me sad enough but when i#told my mother about it she made me feel worse she said that was not very nice what she did you did so much for her and i told her#that's alright i dont mind and she said that my friend used me for her benefit and that I'm stupid for being nice to people#because according to her every nice thing that ive done is stupid and nothing i have done is going to make her feel proud or is enough#she qould NEVER say this to my sisters EVER#aah fuck this became too long#im so sorry if anyone came across this#but yes my mother is literally my biggest enemy most times ngl#she makes me feel like i wish i was not alive#it hurts to see my friends have great relationship with their moms and sisters#:')
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I DID MY CAMP INTERVIEW AND IT WENT WELL AND I HAVE A JOB THIS SUMMER YEEEAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
now to crumple on the floor and hhhhhhh destress, breathe? aha...
o|<
#the director even told me to not worry about missing training because of school - that we could make things work#TvT#rays random ramblings#I got to talk a little about what made me uncomfortable last summer - not all of it because i couldn't find the right words in the moment#but some of it! which was nice#the general consensus is that I need to communicate more and be more transparent when I don't understand something#WHICH TRUEEEEE#and I need to not feel guilty about asking those questions but the ad-staff in turn need to work on like#i dunno I feel judged!!! it's not just me!!!#the ad-staff could be more reciprocative and we're all stressed and it's scary#but anyways#I have a job at camp TvT#yippee!!!!#she asked me what I think went well last summer#and I completely blanked#man I should have talked about my anxiety camper!!!!#I helped anxiety camper get through it! we were buds!#she had it rough the whole week but it did get better as time went on#the staff and I and a brilliant CIT helped her through it and I'm really proud of that#really proud of the kid too
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leopardstar and mudfur also have really interesting potential to me... im aware this is still fridging to some degree and honestly may just be worse than canon in terms of how cruel it would be but rewrite idea for them
mudfur is still a warrior that becomes a healer, but brightsky's death is a tad more relevant as to why that happens. while he was a powerful fighter, he slowly grew disillusioned with battling over the course of his life. he still did it, but it wasn't until brightsky's death that he really fell into despair. perhaps brightsky is the opposite, enjoying the thrill of the battle... and one day, a battle for sunningrocks happens, and a pregnant brightsky joins the battle (either the battle was at riverclan camp, or shes lounging there, or she was on a walk and saw the battle unfold and jump in). she doesnt survive. they can just barely save one kitten, leopardkit.
mudfur is distraught. her death was so avoidable, one second they were preparing a family and the next all he has is one sickly, premature kitten. he cant stop thinking about how pointless the sunningrocks conflict is, how much blood has been spilled over them for practically nothing. he'd always had those questions, but brightsky's death completely brought him down. he becomes a healer because he can't stomach being on the battlefield again- he cant just leave the clans with baby leopardkit, who won't survive without a doctor. he initially becomes a healer so he can learn how to take care of her, and by the time he was done, leopardfur didn't want to leave, even seemed disgusted at it. so he stuck around, looking down on the clans' violent ways, but not being able to do much about it.
leopardstar, on the other hand, grows up hearing about how much of a hero her mother was. how even though she was supposed to be in the nursery, she came out to defend her clan's honor and died a true warrior's death. she should be proud she died for such a noble cause! and leopardstar takes it all in, taking pride in her battling skills, vowing to ensure that her mother's death "wasn't for nothing". her father tries to steer her away from this, but he's consistently getting mocked for "abandoning his pride as a warrior". so she doesn't take him that seriously.
#the manpain is still there but idk... tried to make it about leopard too#they both got like different views on her death#i imagine leopard was told this in response to her mourning her mom too when she learned what happened#''dont cry! you should be proud of her! she died for the clan above all else!''#and she internalized a lot of that stuff#idk. i WILL make leopardstar interesting. To Me.#rewrite
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Dont be angry, Finnula said. Be smart.
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Elide Lochan#Finnula#no spoilers pls first read along w me chapter spoilers in post & tags below w more annotations/quotes/notes/reacts/perspective 3 of 4#The City of Rivers… can Aelin get a City of Fire? cuz that would be cool & Elide already said “fear was another companion it can’t be worse#IT WAS LORCANS SHIRT😭 & he cared so much he lied so she’d use it from Gavriel/Rowan😭 OH ELORCAN😭😭😭#Yet this place seemed like a paradise. WHATS REAL? is it a Maeve illusion… but it sounds lovely; like Rowan could just fly around😭#Pink and blue flowers draped from windowsills; little canals wended between some of the streets ferrying people in bright long boats.#And though a good dose of fear would aid in her cover too much would spell her doom. -smart clever spy gal Annabeth Chase would be proud#And this city Rowan had told Elide had been built from stone to keep Brannon or any of his descendants from razing it to the ground.#when u know ur evil cuz you had to build in a backup plan for the day Brannons peeps eventually come to shut that shit down… my poor Aelin#Elide fought the limp that grew with each step farther into the city--farther away from Gavriel's magic… or Lorcan’s👀😭🖤🤨#okay Elide I see your mirror mirror Aos moves with the berry listen and compact trick she can do it with a broken heart#cycle. She hadn't been able to find the words anyway. Not with what it would crumple in her chest to even think them. WELL NOW IM CRUMPLED#As if she'd been weeping for weeks… yeah that fits the KoA vibes#But it wasn't the reflection she wanted to see. But rather the square behind her. — BRILLIANT QUEEN — lol thx Lorcan for having a mirror#if only anything could be a witch mirror then they could all cell chat and communicate cause the travel time in this one is rough#she was merely staring into a compact mirror no more than a self-conscious girl trying to fix her frazzled appearance — she is the best spy#A girl trying to muster some dignity. Let them see what they wanted to see-A girl far out of her element in this lovely well-dressed city#cornflower blue ALWAYS THESE SHADES#her golden-brown skin shone with an inner light. Her eyes were soft with kindness. And concern.#had always made them foolishly off guard and eager to get away. To tell her what she needed to know. — funny 2 watch Elide do this after HoF#The sort of voice Elide had always imagined great beauties possessing the sort of voice that made men fall all over themselves.#Cairn. One of the males swore; the other scanned Elide from head to toe. But the two females had gone still. — agreed he’s the worst#the portrait of hope—yeah child’s right cause no—Elide always naming people—If you escaped Cairn don't go looking for him again.—true#Cairn is blood-sworn to our queen. Still makes him a prick TRUTH — doesn’t need to be a far to catch the lie — WHERE IS SHE DAMNIT#She was about to do it again wheen… The dark-haired beauty from the tavern was standing behind her. — SHIT#Maeve was not in Doranelle. How long would that remain true? Had to make the next performance count. — how many had she done this already?🥹😭
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