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inkskinned · 1 year ago

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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

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gascreates · 2 months ago

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a new star

#i been thinkin about the asteroid again #i think about the asteroid a lot more than i think is normal #like just the complete randomness of it and how everything changed in literally the blink of an eye #like the dinoss rules the fucking earth and probably still would if space had just been a little bit different #how long did it take the asteroid to reach us #at what point was the impact inevitable #like these sound like scientific answers but i need you to know these are questions that my soul wants answered in poetry #yes the math is cool but can i talk about what tragedy looks like melted into the earth #how power and pain and mourning but also change and new life and a future were embedded in a layer of iridum that spread around the planet #can we talk about how looking at the layers of the earth is the most physical type of time travel there is #can i please talk about that layer of pain #can i mourn when i see it #or am i just a weird kid crying when i look at rocks #ALSO. was parasaurolophus alive when the asteroid hit? i dont think so #but it's too late #yall get to suffer with me #dinosaurs

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dykedvonte · 28 days ago

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I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.

I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?

The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.

#anya is not a character i see taking agency or indulging in cathartic behaviors #not knowingly like i see her as a character trapped in her head and maybe in the scenario she's cruel to Curly she is envisioning Jimmy #in his place but its not a story about justice or those deserving of punishment and those not like its the opposite of people projecting #their issues on the wrong people and saying things to the wrong people and doing things they shouldn't but anya uniquely falls out of it as #she is subjected to a lot of it but it is also not something she wants to subject another person to like you are doing what Jimmy does and #placing ur rage into another persons and viewing their actions through your eyes like she'd more likely yell at him than do harm or #cause him more pain like at least make it in character #but also she clearly doesn't want to see jimmy or curly in the same light and doesnt because she still repeatedly goes to Curly for comfort #and protection and god there's like concepts that need to be applied to characters individually and then the story as a whole #we can not view the game through only one themed lens less we forget to inspect the compounding factor of Anya is so much more than girl #that needs to be allowed to go off but a woman that simply wants right to be done by her and no more harm like she doesn't want to be aroun #the suffering like idk but some of yall would just benefit from like understanding that people are inherently grey with the capabilities of #black n white thinking or actions #mouthwashing #mouthwashing game #anya mouthwashing #i like her the most but then again i am defensive of all women in media and hate when people change the way the character would take agency #for themselves like yes I want her to tweak out but she just wouldn't and I like seeing realistic depictions of a woman suffering the way #she is like shes not the type at the end of the movie to have a one liner but feel a shallow freedom cause she needs to realistically heal #idk but its just like there is an obbsession forming with making her character her pain and not how she handles and navigates the issue

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montyfinchirl · 11 days ago

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when payneland eventually gets together i fully believe they date for one week and then send out the wedding invitations

#like they are CONSTANTLY talking about how they have forever together and how they want to be together for the rest of time #i know charles would suddenly go ‘lets get married’ and edwin would be like ‘oh yeah thats legal now well off we pop’#cause that man can never say no to charles #and he never wants to anyway #seriously though i think everyone else would view it as such a big deal #but the boys would just see it as a piece of paper proving how they’ve felt about eachother since they MET #yes charles frames their marriage certificate and puts it behind the desk #dead boy detectives #dead boy detective netflix #dead boy detective agency #edwin payne #edwin paine #charles rowland #payneland

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puppyeared · 2 years ago

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obsessive

#did i put more effort into this than i needed to? yes. did i put myself through unnecessary pain drawing fighting scenes? yes #but i learned how to outline my strokes so maybe i won after all #i thought about it and i think it turned out ok drawing the eyes differently. like the way i usually draw em #although i dont know if that says much since i change my art style every couple weeks but eh #had fun playing with grayscale and limited palette. i want to do that more often dhghdg #although idk whens the next time i will have enough energy to commit to the bit and do.. this #theyre fucking stupid your honor. for every art we get of them acting dramatic and yearning (/pos) i make dumb shit like this #equivalent exchange girlies!#lego monkie kid #lmk #monkie kid #lmk shadowpeach #shadowpeach #lmk sun wukong #lmk swk #sun wukong #lmk macaque #lmk six eared macaque #six eared macaque #liu er mihou #my art #myart #doodles #comic #lmk monkey king #lmk fanart

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jasonsbruce · 2 months ago

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#i'm here to ruining EVERYONES DAY #tw: torture #i felt like more people needed to know the lore about the arkhamverse because it's absolutely gut-wrenching so hehe ur welcome for the pain #the fact that bruce did try and find him for so long makes me wanna scream #cause ya know they make it sound like he gave up really fast and just abandoned him #but he did try for SIX months? up until he thought jason was dead? (and yes we can debate that he should have known but pls it's a game)#(they needed that to happen for the story so blame the writers)#just as jason had hope for several months that bruce would come for him!#and that makes me so fucking feral #“finally gave up the search” stop stop im crying im not okay #oh my god bruce and jason melts my brain #jason todd #jaybin #red hood #batman: the arkham knight #batman #arkham knight #the arkham knight #ak jason todd #arkham knight jason todd #joker #dcu #jasontoddedit #my gifs #info from wiki and so #this is truly THE saddest version of brujay honestlyyyyyyyyyy #i also like the “mentor and ward” aspect :3 #he was likeee 18-20 here i believe?#:(

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itsindiana · 7 months ago

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i think we don't talk about what the driving force behind each batcher is enough. like if u think abt it hunter often acts out of fear ( not cowardice , fear that his ppl will get hurt duh ) , while crosshair often acts out pain , tech acts with logic , wrecker with love , and echo ? echo acts out of being true hater

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naamahdarling · 2 months ago

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You know what? You know what I think?

I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.

The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.

I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.

But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.

We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.

That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.

I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.

Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.

I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.

#im feverish feeling (not a real fever just malaise that i have no other way to describe) from the IBS (which can affect you like that #)#and i don't actually want to do ANYTHING #i would have to even living with others but it would be easier #at the very least i wouldn't have had to clean the microwave earlier which is hard because my arms are like the size of a meerkat's #and i can only reach the back with my fingertips #where is my BF in all this?#WORKING FULL TIME WITH BACK PAIN #yes i AM going to want him to have to do as little as possible when he comes home #he's neurodivergent too and struggles with the same shit #it's all a mess #we are doing way better i didn't realize how deep a drain three very sick cats were #but there's still only two of us #if you are disabled physically OR MENTALLY you should at least get in-home household help once a week or so #there's places that do that but the limitations are usually severe and always rule me out #because im not single im not an elder im not a veteran and im not physically disabled #if we have to ration that sort of thing i can see how on the whole it is more caring to allocate those resources to for example elders #but the fact that i celebrate what help there is doesn't mean i don't get mad that more people can't access it #is2g if i was functional enough snd physically sound enough i would start a charity that did intervention cleaning for people like us #who have fallen behind and can't catch up but can MAINTAIN #and who helped people clean for a few months during and after an illness pregnancy trauma major loss etc. so they could stay on their feet

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dykealloy · 11 months ago

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ripple effect legacy // my tears are becoming a sea, M83

#weaving parallels but god at what cost #something something luffy inheriting the will of a burnt out sun #something something the things we leave behind (broken promises. pain. little brothers. cool fire punch moves)#see the significance of ace is that he spends his whole life asking 'should i even have been born' and then through the positive #impact he has on everyone around him he creates a continuing cycle of change where people reach out a hand to help others #he said 'im not sure i deserve to live' and then became the most remembered and loved and sorely missed dude in one piece #like it's almost comedic how luffy keeps finding his big brother in the stories and best qualities of all the people he comes across vs.#people who knew ace and keep seeing pieces of him in luffy #anyway happy new year portgas d. ace trauma be upon ye~#one piece #op #portugas d ace #portgas d ace #asl brothers #yamato #wano spoilers #one piece spoilers #CJ's edits #amv #monkey d luffy #straw hat luffy #monkey d. luffy #portgas d. ace #CJ's op watch-through

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baristabomb · 5 months ago

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dungeon meshi characters taking care of each other

:’)

bonus:

#dungeon meshi #laios touden #marcille donato #chilchuck tims #senshi #izutsumi #kabru #even if ‘caretaking’ would be a pain is that really the mindset you want to have? the hill you want to die on?#yes they take care of Marcille when it would be considered ‘burdensome’#ppl who say ‘taking care of others is bad when you HAVE to take care of them because it’s an inconvenience to you’#are the square headed dwarf. kui gave you representation 💀#we must take care of our 36 year old minor #and mage who has no mana #and elves who use up all their mana at once #and the tallman who dragged you into a hole #and the child you raised and loved like your own son #and fallen party members #and random strangers #it’s themes of the narrative!!!#most everyone gets put into the ‘taken care of’ position at some point like if you got injured the middle of the street you wouldn’t #want everyone to just walk past you even if you’re aware they’re busy or whatever like come on #dungeon meshi spoilers #and these ARE all choices every one of these characters makes yes even kabru #my favorite of these is the izutsumi one tho #ijuchumi i wuv u so muchh okey 😭💝

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saltpepperbeard · 1 year ago

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Ed and Stede + Heart Eyes 😍

For @ella-doe <3

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cry-ptidd · 3 months ago

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Laura genuinely makes me so sad, like I cried all silly sometimes ago cause we have a similar past but I went on and she’s like you know..stuck and I wouldn’t want that for anyone :( even if she’s fictional and a killer. I just wish to be kind to her for a moment and tell her a lot of women or really humans feel her pain, that it didn’t turn all of us into monsters. I guess it’s why I’m attached to her because I get it I do, but also…why I hate characters that have SA in their backstory cause it’s really depressing. She’s an amazing character but I can’t help but still wish her punishment and somehow through it all. Peace. That she gets all the punishment she needs and gets some peace right after..a good for good slumber. Even if she doesn’t get that, or feel worthy of it.

This ask actually made me a bit emotional, im gonna be honest. It's one of the most sincere messages I've gotten i think? I am very sorry about what you went through and I will do the same thing you'd do for Laura and tell you to please remember you're not alone and that i believe in you as a person, and that you're still able to move ahead despite everything that's hurt you.

Laura is a character built on cruel irony and tragedy, and many of her aspects are an exaggerated version of views that i also have because of my own trauma (aversion to men, aggression, anger, spite, stubbornness) and the crimes and attitude that would make her an irredeemable character are here to kind of cement the fact she went way too far in her revenge and how being hurt an turn a person into a monster.

But, i rally have to agree with you. Holy FUCK do i pity her. She's not reveling in her evil, she's not actively trying to do more harm (not anymore), and she's just in a state of permanent self-loathing and isolation, where her punishment isn't satisfying to watch or even really clear. You don't really wanna root for her morally, you just kinda wish she'd just... stop. And take a long sleep. Just like you said, a proper, defined punishment, and then let her sleep.

I think this ask sealed the deal of me giving her a canonically somewhat "happy" ending? Maybe a mild one? Where she starts to settle down and indirectly heal alongside Integra and Seras post-canon. A household of damaged women growing alongside each other. Im sure her Creator can decide on a rightful punishment when she passes. Let's just give her a bit of leisure for now.

#hellsing #laura chastel #hellsing oc #my oc #ask response #oof this one was hard to reply to #i couldn't really find the right words to describe it #you have my sympathy and solidarity anon #is this what human connection feels like?#smth smth the human experience is so intricately connected to storytelling and we can create avatars that we can relate our pain to #even if it's an oc about Gun And Murder Vampire show #yes this is a new piece of canon lore for her.#she deserves a break

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iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia · 3 months ago

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Blogging this as I fall asleep but as a dedicated cat dad I do, in fact, brush Taiga's teeth every night before bed and

I snapped a picture of the process today

The primordial look of horror and protest - xD

#arcana brainbroth rambles #cats of tumblr #pain #agony even #shes actually just a super talkative kitty #we love a woman who makes her voice and opinions known #she doth protest indeed but shes overall pretty chill with the moritfying ordeal of at home dental upkeep #i talk to her every thirty minutes as she walks by meowing at the top of her lungs like #baby #i see you. i love you. i hear you. i do not understand you.#am i listening to your opinions? yes. do i intend on disregarding them? unfortunately also yes.

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simplydnp · 23 days ago

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i think this may have been the best day i've had all year

#in terms of like. everything.#we got an excellent upload we're still reeling from nbsii we finally got 1st on fandometrics and my irl life day was utterly fantastic #was i still in pain? yes. but damn did i smile today #dnp #c.text #dan and phil #phan #dnptit

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spaciebabie · 4 days ago

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if you are someone like me who has trouble processing life events/mental health stuff create an oc. like. make a guy who's entire story is yours, who knows every inch of your suffering b/c they are you but maybe all their troubles stem from being in an intergalactic war with goob noobs or something. hurt them in terrible ways so that you dont hurt yourself.

#spacie spoinks #fiction is a good way to explore things that are difficult to deal with i do it all the time with my ocs!!#i mean this wont work for everyone #but making an oc who i just constantly take my pain and suffering out on #is something i find very cathartic #also hes not real!!#i made him up!!#hes like just a vessel for my own suffering #a copy of me and what i think i deserve #but will never actually give myself #yk?#also yes make the character you essentially but also keep a certain distance from them in your mind so #that you know that they are you but not *entirely*#its a really hard thing for me to explain #but when i think about my self harm oc i feel bad for him #b/c hes me and we share the same story but different circumstances #hes me but also his own person #and when i think about what hes gone thru i feel sad and sympathetic #and so i end up feeling that way about me too #b/c we didnt deserve 2 go thru any of it #especially good for suicidal ideation #which is something i struggle with a lot

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transmechanicus · 7 months ago

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Really fucked up that two ppl can care about each other and make their best efforts to communicate and still end up hurting each other so badly they cannot stand to be in the same room.

#my stuff #i feel soooo bad talking to my therapist about the same topics over multiple weeks #like i feel like they're sooo sick of it like damn can this bitch get Over It alreadyyyy #hi yes actually can we talk about the near catastrophic sense of betrayal and loss that has haunted my soul for over a month?#can we talk about how I overcompensate for other's possible feelings and emotions to desperately mask my terror at feeling out of control #can we talk about how even when I know ppl acted with logical reasons necessary for their situation it still hurt me?#and that this pain fills me up with so much anger and frustration that I'm powerless to put anywhere that won't hurt someone #so it just cooks me inside and makes me grind my teeth constantly for weeks #im so angry i did not deserve to be treated like this it's not fair and I have no capacity to fix it or control when it feels better #i just have to survive and wait until i forget about it and hope they don't decide to reach out and fuck it all up #cause i can see that happening #i'll finally be free of thinking about them and generally going about my day unbothered and they'll ask to get coffee or something #and I have no idea what I should do in that scenario. because I don't think we can be friends.#and you have not treated me with the compassion and warmth I treated you #i would want to say mean things. hurtful things. I would want to bite back for once.#and that's not me. that's not who I want to be.#i don't wanna see you. go away. don't talk to me if you're not going to make the pain go away.

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