#but i learned how to outline my strokes so maybe i won after all

[puppyeared]

obsessive

[lupinsx]

All That Matters

masterlist

Pairing: Harry Potter x Slytherin!Reader

Summary: Harry and Y/N have been secretly dating for the past year. Unfortunately, the reveal doesn't exactly go as planned.

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: Some uses of profanity/language, mild kissing.

a/n — Hello! I'm going to be starting a tag list, so if you'd like to be notified whenever I publish new works, dm me. On that note, I hope you enjoy the story!

——————————

Everything felt muted.

The conversations lingering in the air filling the Great Hall, the sound of utensils hitting against plates and bowls in a rushed manner, and the excited squeals of the newly sorted first years. The area was filled with various noises, but you didn't hear one bit of it. You didn't choose to hear one bit of it. Instead, your brain was preoccupied with something of much greater importance to you.

Your gaze was kept on a certain shaggy-haired Gryffindor, sitting too far away for your liking. Your eyes followed the small movements he made to put emphasis on his words, the way his cheeks puffed like a chipmunk as he ate, and how his eyes would light up in fascination whenever a topic of interest was brought up.

Until you could be by his side, observing him left you contented enough. As long as Harry Potter's beaming smile was insight, you were okay.

"Hello? Earth to Y/N?"

A hand waving in front of your face took you out of your trance. Snapping your neck to the side, you were met with a displeased look from Draco Malfoy. You gave him a weak grin and took a bite of your steak.

"You weren't even listening to me. I was talking about my trip to Italy," he pouted, flicking your forehead with a slight scoff. You scowled at his behaviour and nudged his shoulder, playfully bumping him into the person next to him.

"I was listening," you responded, fighting the urge to look back to the Gryffindor table. You didn't want him to notice where your gaze was previously set. The chaos that would ensure was far too deadly for you to even consider letting him know.

With a suspicious glance, he dropped the accusation. "Fine. I believe you. Now, where was I?"

Draco went on about his vacation for a couple of minutes. You kept your attention on him, hesitant about looking away once more. However, the feeling of eyes boring into your head made you quickly divert your gaze.

There, sitting in the Gryffindor table, was Harry, very clearly ignoring the conversation around him. Once you finally looked back at him, he gave you a small smile and an accompanying wink before turning back to his friends. He then stood up from his spot, exiting the Great Hall with an air of nonchalance.

The cue was understood loud and clear.

"Hey Draco, I'm gonna head to the bathroom. I'll see you at the common room, yeah?"

As quickly as you spoke, you rose to your feet and got up from the bench. Before he could even respond, you were out of the hall, heading rapidly down the corridor and up the long flight of stairs.

A wink was the signal you two established near the beginning of your relationship. Whenever one would wink at the other, they'd find a way to leave and meet on the sixth-floor corridor. If they couldn't exit their situation, they would go into a fit of coughs to notify the other. It seemed like a foolproof system for you two. It was conspicuous enough to be noticeable by the other but subtle as to not gain further attention.

By the time you reached the designated meeting spot, you were lightly panting, tired by your efforts from sprinting up the staircase. However, once an amused chuckle was heard from behind you, all exhaustion was forgotten as you turned on your heel with a gleeful expression.

"Harry!" you exclaimed, running into his arms. He caught you effortlessly, arms holding your lower back protectively as you wrapped your legs around his waist.

"Hey Y/N," Harry mumbled, face buried in the crook of your neck. You held on to him tightly, inhaling the scent you missed most. It has been two long months since you last saw him, so the euphoria felt was especially evident.

Releasing his face from your neck, he finally gave you the long-awaited kiss. It was sweet, though undeniably eager, conveying just how much you two missed each other within the short seconds it lasted.

Once you pulled your face away, leaving a final peck on his lips, he flashed you a grin. "God, how I missed you and your soft lips."

"I missed you too. And your thin lips," you teased with a light chuckle. He faked a pout and pushed your waist to climb off him. Your laugh only intensified as you stood to your feet and ruffled his hair with an expression saying I'm only joking.

"How was your summer?" he asked, leaning against the wall as he kept his gaze fixed on you. You took a long sigh before replying, lips curved into a small frown while you crossed your arms over your chest.

"Positively dreadful. I don't remember ever being that bored before."

"Is it because I wasn't there?"

"Don't be cocky," you said with a wide grin. He shot you a joking frown for a moment before you quickly spoke under your breath, "But yes, I really wanted you there."

With an idiotic smile on his face matching yours, he spoke with pink-tinted cheeks. "How about we both stay at Hogwarts for the winter break?"

"Deal."

And with that, you shot into his arms once more, this time deciding to keep your legs on the floor. He laughed at your eagerness and wrapped his arms around your waist before pulling his head down to meet your lips for the second time today.

As you basked in the comfort of Harry's presence, a vague figure suddenly appeared in the corner of your vision. Your eyes opened wider as you glanced to the side with your lips still attached to his. There, you could make out the faint outline of a particularly short student retracting its leg from the corner of the hall visible by you. It suddenly disappeared, presumably running down the corridor connected to yours.

You immediately pulled away from the kiss, head whipping to the side to confirm you didn't imagine it. However, the current emptiness of the hall and the absence of footsteps made the possibility likely.

With a concerned expression, Harry asked, "What's wrong Y/N? You look troubled."

Turning your head towards him, you gave him a reassuring smile as you reached your hand up to stroke his cheek with your thumb. "Sorry, I thought I saw someone run down that hall."

"Well then, should we part ways just in case?"

"I suppose we should," you replied with a frown. Noticing your expression drop, Harry ruffled your hair and gave you a small peck on your forehead.

"How about we meet by the Great Lake tomorrow after our last class?" he suggested. You nodded your head rapidly. You cherished those little moments of privacy you got with him when you don't have to worry about gossiping onlookers or the judgment of your friends. Times, when it’s just you and Harry, are the times that make Hogwarts not entirely horrible.

"I guess I'll head out now. See you at breakfast." You then departed with eyebrows furrowed in dejection. As you approached the intersection between the two halls, you noticed another leg disappearing from the corner on your right. However, it was a brief glance through your peripheral vision, so you doubted a person was actually there.

But what if somebody did see us?

You quickly brushed the thought aside, hoping it was merely a pesky first year wanting to explore the castle if there even was a person who saw. Regardless, there wasn't much to be done now. You just hoped whoever they were, they would keep their mouth shut about you and Harry. Drama at the beginning of the school year was not something very desirable to you.

Attempting to block off your paranoia, you made a beeline to the Slytherin common room. Once arrived, you were met with a concerned gaze from Draco who sat at the couch playing wizard chess with Blaize.

"Y/N? Where were you? And why do you look upset?" Draco interrogated, his attention suddenly off the moving chess pieces. You were quick to raise your expression at that, relaxing your eyebrows and flashing him a reassuring grin.

"I'm alright. Just took a minor detour from the bathroom, that's all."

With a questioning glance, he accepted your response. "Okay. Are you tired?"

You slowly nodded, a yawn escaping your lips momentarily. Draco's expression softened for a moment before he looked back to the chessboard and said nonchalantly, "Then go to bed."

"I'll go do that," you replied with a light chuckle. Turning on your heel, you headed towards the girl's dormitory with a smile on your face as you recalled the events from earlier.

Safe to say, you couldn't wait for tomorrow evening to come.

~~~

The clock couldn't possibly tick any slower.

It was the first official day of classes, and you already felt done with the school year.

You were excited to see your schedule at breakfast that day. You had most of your classes with Draco, and the majority with Gryffindor as well. Although, that seemed to be the highlight of the day since the rest felt positively drab.

Each 45-minute class felt like hours to you. Perhaps it was the fact that you weren't accustomed to school yet. Maybe even the immense workload already assigned in Potions.

Or the fact that you would finally be able to talk to Harry later in the day.

It was distracting, to say the least, trying to focus in class with a certain shaggy-haired boy sitting a couple of desks away. You were glad the first week meant minimal learning because you were sure you retained virtually nothing the teachers said. Admittedly, the syllabus was far less fascinating than Harry was. Though, he seemed to think the same for you, as he kept eyeing you just as much. It was almost a game for you two; who could steal the most glances while pretending to listen to the introductions.

He clearly won.

"I expect you all to read chapter one in your books as an introduction to the Goblin Rebellions," said Mr. Binns, failing the notice the groans of discontent, "and we shall continue our discussion tomorrow. Dismissed."

It was at that moment when the bell rang, signalling the end of classes for the day. You felt your heart begin pumping faster than usual as you slung your bag on your shoulder. Finally, you thought. I could finally talk to Harry. You weren’t usually this excited just to see him, but going a whole summer with only letters to keep your company changes your attitude towards the smallest of meetups.

You decided to travel the long way to get there, allowing him enough time to reach the lake without suspicion. You went to the opposite end of the school before exiting, walking around the grounds until you eventually saw the Great Lake and the boy sitting near it.

A smile crept onto your face as stopped in your tracks before running over to him. Noticing your figure approaching, he stood up from his seat in front of the tree and opened his arms. He was quick to wrap them around your frame once you crashed into his.

"Hello again," you breathed into his sweater. A throaty laugh escaped his mouth as he planted one of his much-loved forehead kisses onto your bare face.

"Hey darling," he replied with an endearing smile. "I- uh, I actually have something to tell you."

You nodded in response, still within the comfort of his arms. He didn't immediately begin speaking, but instead took a moment to gather his words while he rubbed circles on your back with his thumb. It was calm, and you liked it. It was the little moments with him like these which put you into a state of peace.

However, it wasn't long before the tranquillity was abruptly shattered with a roaring yell.

"Potter!"

Your eyes widened the second the familiar tone flooded your ears. Swiftly, you released your grip on Harry and jumped back, head facing down rather than at the angry blond standing not too far away.

"What the absolute fuck are you doing with Y/N?"

Harry's mouth opened and closed repeatedly as he struggled to find the words to explain himself at the moment. Draco was furious, and not even you dared to put fuel into the fire by giving him provocative remarks. You just hoped your boyfriend had thought the same.

Unfortunately, you remembered you're dating a Gryffindor. Daring bastards, they are.

As Harry got over the initial shock of being approached by an angry Draco, a playful smirk spread across his face, sending danger signals to your brain. This was not about to end well.

"I believe I was about to kiss her until you interrupted."

"Excuse me?"

The two boys now stood head-to-head, Draco's hand gripping on Harry's collar threateningly. He looked like he was ready to swing at the boy holding a nonchalant smile, only, the sight of you standing distressed nearby stopped him from causing any injury.

Letting go of his collar aggressively, Draco redirected his attention from Harry. Now under his harsh gaze, you lifted your head to stare him directly in the eye. You figured you might as well come clean about the relationship rather than pathetically attempt to cover it up now.

However, just as you opened your mouth, a loud shriek broke the tense atmosphere.

"Harry! Are you okay?"

From the top of the hill stood Hermione and Ron, faces conveying worry and anger. They saw Harry's messed up clothing clearly gripped harshly and two notorious Slytherins standing nearby. A recipe for disaster, essentially.

Storming down the grassy hill, Hermione gazed at his attire concerningly while Ron trailed behind her, staring questioningly at you and Draco. Harry was shocked by their arrival, and while he forgot to speak for a moment, the two friends faced the Slytherins with a glare able to kill.

"What do you two want with Harry?" Ron asked accusingly. Draco snorted at the irony of their protectiveness, while your eyes widened as you waved your hands rapidly in reassurance.

"Nothing, we aren't trying to cause trouble—" you were suddenly cut off by Draco stepping forward to the defensive pair with a glare to match theirs.

"I want Potter to leave Y/N alone."

His comment caused a near uproar in response. Harry snapped back to reality and approached Draco with a fuming expression while his friends stared in confusion. Meanwhile, your head whipped towards him in annoyance. The line between protective and controlling was a thin one but boy does Draco walk it hard.

"You can't decide that for her!" Harry practically shouted in his face. While Hermione and Ron stood bewildered by the conversation going on in front of them, Draco only became more cross.

The conflict was beginning to leave you exasperated. You hate that argument is necessary in the first place. You and Harry are happy; shouldn't that be all that matters?

Draco never intended to try to control you and your relationships, but when provoked by his arch-nemesis, all of his rationality suddenly goes to dust. "Yeah? And who says—"

"What is this even about?" Ron interjected, causing three heads to snap to his direction. With a mocking chuckle, Draco pointed at Harry with an accusing finger.

"I just found out your precious little friend here is dating Y/N!"

Hermione gasped, while Ron looked horrified. Your expression suddenly turned sour at the sight of their reactions.

"Yeah yeah, big deal. Why do you two look scared? Is it because I'm a Slytherin?" you muttered with a slight glare. You didn't want to be unnecessarily mean towards them and uphold the typical Slytherin stereotype, but how were you supposed to stay civil when they react like this at the news? Shock is a given, but the look of near disgust was uncalled for.

Harry's eyes softened at you once he saw how troubled you looked. He knows you enough to realize that you mask your sadness with anger or sarcasm, so seeing the glare and sneer on your face made him put aside his anger for Draco temporarily. Some things matter more to him then petty issues.

"Hermione, Ron, I'm sorry I haven't told you this before, but please respect my decision. She's a great person— no, an amazing person, and I just want to say that I'm going to continue dating her whether you two like it or not."

Their expressions morphed into admiration as they stared at the newly matured Harry. With a gentle nod, Ron pulled him into a bear hug with Hermione joining in shortly after.

"I can't say I'm not shocked, but who are we to say you can't date her? We're happy you're happy," Hermione mumbled inside the hug.

While you and Draco stood in front of them awkwardly, you nudged his side with a playful smirk. As he turned to you with a scowl, you gestured to the group hug.

"See Draco, that's how you're supposed to respond," you teased, ignoring the ill-tempered expression on his face. It no longer fazed you as it would to most.

"I'm sorry," he said in a sarcastic but light-hearted tone, "but they don't hate you as I hate him. Plus, those Gryffindors are insanely cheesy with the whole group hug."

While Draco faked a gag as they pulled apart, you lightly snickered under your breath. Thankfully, Draco appeared to be less mad at the revelation after Harry's speech, and his friends seemed to approve of the relationship.

"So, are we all good now?" you asked, flipping your gaze between Draco and then Hermione and Ron. While Harry's friends nodded reassuringly, Draco was hesitant to do the same.

"Please?" you mumbled to him, staring at your best friend with pleading eyes. You knew you didn't require his approval to date Harry, but you desperately wanted to be with him while maintaining your friendship with Draco. It would kill you to lose him consequentially.

After staring at you with an unreadable gaze, then directing his narrowed eyes to Harry for a moment, he released a sigh before nodding in approval. A smile widened on your lips as you immediately looked towards your boyfriend.

Without a second thought, your legs carried you towards him while your arms went around his neck. Like muscle memory, his arms snaked around your waist in an instant. With his face buried in your neck, he mumbled into it, "At least now they know."

You looked up at him with a small smile. "At least they do."

"Eww, can't you wait until we leave to be romantic and shit?" Draco groaned from his position. He then turned on his heel to trudge back up the hill. Rolling their eyes at the blond boy's attitude, Hermione and Ron soon followed after, letting the couple finally be alone.

When it became silent again at last, you then remembered what was promised earlier. "Harry, you needed to tell me something?"

"Oh yeah, that," Harry muttered under his breath, face becoming flushed as he released you to scratch his neck awkwardly. You giggled at his expression as you stared at him intently, him not returning the gaze as he looks down at the grass.

"There were two things I wanted to say actually. The first, ironically enough, was going to be me asking whether or not you think we should finally tell people about our relationship."

You snorted, patting his shoulder in a joking manner. "Since that's already done with, what else?"

"Well uh- I wanted to say," he then paused for a moment, looking up to meet your gaze.

"I love you."

With a smile stretched as wide as your mouth could handle, a light chuckle escaped your lips as you held his cheeks in your hand. "I love you too, Harry."

After the heartfelt confessions of love, you two decided to spend the rest of the evening watching the sunset. Your heart felt full as you glanced at him sitting next to you.

The chatter faintly heard from the castle, the light sounds of water moving in the lake, the melodic chirps from nearby birds getting ready for their rest. None of it was heard. None of it you chose to hear. Because when Harry Potter's messy hair, circle-rimmed glasses, and playful grin was in sight, nothing else felt important anymore.

To you, everything else just felt muted. It was only you and Harry. And that was all that matters.

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a/n — Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, and reblog to show support and send some feedback or requests in my inbox! Have a nice day/evening :)

[yodawgiherd]

Reminiscence

Rating: T

>>>Read on AO3<<<

There should be more fun ways of waiting for someone than to just sit on your ass and drum a series of tiny holes into your cup. As Levi watched the crowds rolling around him, he couldn’t help but wonder why Petra picked a place like this. It was not his preference to be out in the open, yet when the lady suggested it, he just kind of rolled along with her decision. Not like he had any ties to a coffee shop he had to visit anyway. And there she was, moving through the people like a fish in a water, clearly used to this kind of life. Petra spotted him right away, making a bee line to his chair and sitting down, smiling radiantly after.

“Sorry I’m late, had a call from work I had to solve.”

“It’s all right.”, Levi shrugged, indifferent, “I don’t mind waiting.”

“Okay….”, Petra put her hands on the table, eyes fixing into Levi’s. “So, I’m finally here.”

He snorted.

“Obviously.”

“Something you want to tell me? Maybe?”, she urged him on.

And Levi knew what she was talking about, of course he did, but he was never big on past and especially talking about himself and didn’t feel like opening up to Petra. Despite the promise he gave her, just a few days ago, the asshole he was. He cleared his throat.

“The weather’s nice.”

Petra blinked in confusion, having no idea how cowardly he felt right now.

“I guess?”, she stammered.

“It’s cold, although not as cold as the weather report said it will be. We should count ourselves lucky.”

“Okay, weather is nice,”, she slowly nodded, “but maybe there’s something else you want to talk about?”

“My gym is doing pretty good lately.”

“That’s… good to hear.”

“Indeed. All the fame Mikasa got from winning the tourney, the sponsors, now the money from the photoshoot.”, he flashed his completely out of the loop companion a victorious smile, “I’m thinking of remodeling, maybe expanding even and…”

Petra’s hand hit the table, interrupting his monologue.

“Okay that’s enough.”, the confusion on her face was replaced by a mild anger and irritation, contorting her features, “I won’t sit here and listen to your stalling for a minute more. I came here to get some answers, Levi, and if you are not willing to give them to me, then I don’t see a point of being here at all. You promised to explain why you went missing, without a word, and after all those years you still try bullshitting me? I deserve better.”

Seems like he couldn’t mislead her forever. Well, Petra always was a sharp one.

“I’m sorry.”, he said, directing his gaze at his hands, “it’s my defense mechanism. I usually try not to talk about myself too much, it’s too… personal I guess.”

A warm touch enveloped his right palm, as Petra reached over the desk, squeezing supportively.

“Please Levi,”, she whispered, “help me understand.”

Ah fuck it.

“My parents got murdered,”, he blurted out, wanting to be done with this little window into his soul as quickly as possible, “and my sister was going into adoption. I couldn’t allow that. Got her on a trial period, as her guardian, but to keep her I had to have bigger financial income. In order to do that, I left college, started working full time, and inherited the gym when the old owner died. That’s it, no more secrets.”

Puzzled by the lack of answer, Levi looked up, seeing that Petra had a hand over her mouth, blinking rapidly while her eyes seemed strangely wet.

“Oh my god,”, she breathed out, “I’m so sorry.”

“Been a long time. Got over it.”

“But why did you cut all contact with us?”, Petra’s voice was still shaky, yet he had no trouble of understanding her, “We could have helped you, we were your friends, no?”

“I guess I wanted to start a new chapter in my life.”, Levi grimaced a bit, “I wasn’t really in a good condition back then, mentally, and it just seemed like the only way forward without burdening anybody.”

It was just the way he was. Even with life dumping everything onto him, he was determined to shoulder all the weight himself and silently carry it to the best of his ability, never asking for help. Petra let go of his hand, reluctantly, in an attempt to regain some composure. After dabbing the corners of her eyes with a handkerchief, getting rid of the moisture, she took a deep breath.

“Thank you for telling me all this.”

A shrug.

“You deserve it.”

“Well, since we got that out of the way.”, she offered him a smile, “What do you want to talk about now?”

And they talked, for long time, about their pasts and presents. Levi learned that Petra was an independent contractor, moving all over the state, although lately she’s been doing a lot of work for Kiyomi and her company. In return, Levi told her all about the gym, the tournament Mikasa won, even begrudgingly talking about Eren, and the influence he had on his little sister. For some reason, Petra seemed really interested in hearing more about that brat.

“So that was the guy at the party? The one with the long hair?”

“Yea, that’s him.”

Yeager and his stupid overlong hair, name a more iconic duo. I’ll wait.

“You know, your sister seemed really happy around him.”

“That’s her. Totally on cloud nine whenever he opens his big mouth.”, Levi frowned, watching Petra’s slight grin over the rim of his glass. “Why do you ask?”

“Just trying to find the reason why you dislike the guy so much.”

“I don’t dislike him.”

“Sure you don’t.”, she teased, “Only anytime you say his name your face sours as if you had to bite into a lemon.”

Levi sighed, a tiny bit embarrassed about the way he felt about his sister’s fiancé who seemed to bring her nothing but happiness. The protective instinct was hard to push down.

“I’m just worried you know. Don’t want to see Mikasa heartbroken.”

“From the way they acted at the party I don’t really see them breaking up any time soon.”, she giggled, “Judging from how often they kissed, they breathe each other instead of oxygen.”

Oh yes, Levi totally needed that mental image.

“Mikasa is…. complicated, all right?”, he pressed on, determined to make Petra see his point, “She had shit for childhood, and I’m very far from being an ideal role model.” Seeing that she still wasn’t understanding him very well, he went on, without going into too much detail. It wouldn’t be very nice to dump all Mikasa’s secret to someone she didn’t even know, but Petra deserved to know at least the rough outlines.

Honestly, ever since she left for college Levi was silently dreading the phone call telling him that his sister assaulted someone. Again. The memory of the boy whose hand she broke just for touching her was fresh in his mind, and it was easy to guess that older guys will be easily more handsy than the high schoolers were. Not to mention all the parties and alcohol that would flow through the dorms. But instead of anything like that, Mikasa called him after about a week, telling him that she met someone special. Levi would never admit that, but his heart still fluttered at the memory. And yet it didn’t put his worries to rest, not completely. Relationship meant intimacy beyond anything Mikasa experienced so far, and Levi had no idea if she was prepared for that. Uncountable times he held her hand until she fell asleep, only for her to still wake up screaming from a nightmare. He raised her, and still she jolted sometimes, when he touched her shoulder unannounced, the hostile expression flashing in her face until she realized who he was. Sure, she was beautiful, anyone could see that, but also troubled, deep inside, and he had no idea if anyone would ever manage to solve that puzzle that Mikasa was.

And girl like this was supposed to hold hand with someone, kiss someone, share a bed, maybe even go further than that? Back then, Levi steeled his heart, waiting for the tearful call from her, her first break up, and was ready to assist her in any way necessary. But the call never came. Instead, he watched this guy, this Eren, put a hand around his sister’s waist without her flinching, press a kiss to her cheek, even a full one on the mouth without anything but happy reciprocation from her. He watched as he made her laugh with his stupid jokes, the weird fixation he had with her hair, endlessly playing with the strands, how naturally they talked, bantering each other, and all the other little things that made him wonder what kind of magic he used to break though Mikasa’s shell. Thought even with this miraculous progress, there were other reasons why he initially didn’t like the guy that much.

“Levi, can we talk?”, she dropped this on him during one of their trainings, still in college. “It’s about Eren.”

Her relationship was just a few days old, back then, so upon hearing this Levi immediately started preparing his best supportive monologue for going through rough breakup. Yet before he could get a word out, she continued.

“I recently found out something and it’s been bothering me.”, she idly played with her fingers, sign of being nervous, “He’s rich.”

“Oh, I see.”, Petra interrupted his story, rather rudely in his opinion, “He didn’t offer you money for your gym when you were doing bad? That’s why?”

“No, that’s not it at all. I don’t even think I could ask him for cash, ever.”

“Why’s that?”

“Wanting money from a guy who’s dating your sister?”, Levi shook his head, “It would feel like pimping her out, I could never do it. Never.”

Plus, Eren was taking a great care of Mikasa anyway. He gave her the bike, then the flat they lived in together at first, and after finishing school the house they moved in.

“Okay then, sorry for stopping you. Go on, please.”

“Only if you promise to keep quiet.”

She made a show of locking her mouth shut and throwing away the key.

“Right, where was I…”

“Rich?”, he said, stroking his chin, “You didn’t know that before?”

Mikasa shot him a reprimanding look.

“This might come as a surprise for you, but we didn’t go around at that party exchanging the balances of our accounts. There really was no reason to wonder about my or his financial situation, but last night we started talking about how we used to live and the conversation just kind of got there.”

“All right, but why is it a bad thing?”

“I mean, the truth is that I’m not exactly drowning in money, right? And with him being like this….”, she grimaced, “I don’t want people to think I’m a gold digger or anything, you know?”

“Does he think that?”

She looked up form her fidgeting fingers, wondering what he meant.

“Think what?”

“That you are only after his money.”

“No, of course not. He knows I had no idea.”

“Then fuck the others.”, Levi leaned in, putting a hand on Mikasa’s shoulder, “You know the truth, and he knows the truth. That’s what matters, right?”

She grinned, nodding.

“Fuck them.”

“The supportive brother.”, Petra patted his hand again, “It’s good to see that side of you that isn’t a total dick to everyone.”

“Yea, I try to keep it hidden.”

“You are doing an amazing job of that.”

“Good to hear.”

“Listen, I really enjoyed our talk, but I really have to go.”, with an apologetic shrug, Petra stood up, offering her hand. Levi took it, shaking it lightly, and for some reason he found himself not wanting this moment to end.

“Maybe we could meet again?”, the words left his lips before he could stop himself, but Petra didn’t seem offender by his proposition. On the contrary, she smiled.

“I’d love that.”

As she was leaving, a seemingly last thought struck her, and Petra turned on the spot, getting Levi’s attention.

“Now that I think about it, I never asked what’s your second half, right?”

He just started at her.

“You know, you are half Japanese, so what’s the other one? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Nah, its fine.”, interesting question that’s for sure,” Dad was Russian.”

“Really? Well, maybe you could help me with translating a phrase I’ve been hearing. Now how did it go…”

Levi could see it, from the way her lips pressed together, trying to keep the giggling in, from the sparkle of her eyes, and all the other different signs of her body. He sighed.

“Don’t say it...”

Petra just ignored him, as usual.

“Oh, i remember! Cyka blyat.”

Levi's head hit the table.

In retrospective, staying behind alone with Mikasa at the bar was a really stupid idea on Jean’s part. Sasha was god knows where, Connie left early, saying he must take care of something, and suddenly it was just the two of them, putting finishing touches at the interior. Most of the time they worked silently, exchanging just the necessary words, but it was more than enough. Despite all his talk with Hitch, despite his brave words about being over it, Jean still found himself captivated by her, the way she moved, the sure grip of her fingers, the strength she displayed with easily picking up stuff he would never guess she can lift. And then there were those little things. Redness of her cheeks from the physical activity, movement of her hand as she brushed some strands of hair from her face, the smile she shot him when they finished a particularly difficult talk together. In the end, it all boiled down to the hammer. Mikasa asked him to hand it to her, and he did, but when she was taking it from him their fingers brushed, and Jean’s eyes shot up, traveling over her body. And that’s when he saw them. The bruises. Littered all over neck, at the top, even disappearing beneath the fabric of her shirt, although there was a strip in the middle without any, as if whoever put those love bites on her avoided that area, for reasons unknown. Feeling like all the air was pushed out of his lungs, Jean made a pathetic excuse and dashed out of the door, leaving the confused Mikasa alone, unable to face her anymore.

Cursing himself, cursing her, cursing whatever came into his mind, he dug through his pockets for a cigarette, only to realize that he quit smoking, years ago, pulling out his phone instead, staring at the display. Robbed of nicotine, he thought of a different way to make himself feel better, the one he used multiple times recently, and dialed Hitch’s number, waiting for her to answer. Luck didn’t seem to completely desert him, yet at least, because after two rings, she picked up, greeting him with the voice he came to like and admire so much.

“Hey Hitch, you free for lunch? Want to meet?”

[quarterfromcanon]

I Want Not to Want Anything

Heather & Valencia - Femslash February - Day 20 - Longing  [1,314 words]

“This is what I get for taking the room with the jacked up window sash,” Heather grumbled. She stood on tiptoe as her hands bore down on the framework. “How are you still whistling?”

She turned the latch with a disgusted sigh. “Forget this. I’ve got work tomorrow. I’m going to bed. You do your thing, kabatic wind. See if I care.”

Heather grabbed her earbuds off the nightstand to plug into her phone. “Tuning you out now,” she announced to the indifferent air. 

Her limbs splayed across the vast expanse of mattress, already slightly damp from the heat. She closed her eyes, breath slowing to an even rise and fall, while the mellow playlist lulled her seamlessly into sleep.

___

Heather woke to the sound of clanging ironware. She opened one eye and her brow furrowed. “Since when does Rebecca wake up before me?” she wondered aloud.

She rolled off the bed. Both index fingers rubbed at her sensitive eyelids. Heather padded out of her room and entered the kitchen. She skidded to a halt. The woman standing in front of the stove wasn’t Rebecca.

It was Valencia. 

Her eyes were intent on the green apples atop the cutting board. She guided a knife with learned precision and hummed to herself as she worked. Her dark hair was gathered high in a loose bun to keep the strands from obscuring her vision. Valencia sashayed in time to the song in her head and a smile played across her face. Each movement of her torso and hips tugged against the chiffon nightgown she wore.

“V, what are you doing here?” Heather approached the center island.

Valencia’s eyebrows lifted before her amused gaze followed suit. “Good morning to you too, beautiful. Very funny. I know breakfast is usually your thing more than mine, but I do still remember how to cook when the mood strikes.” She circled the counter to close the distance between them. “Besides, I think it’s the minimum I can offer after you did so much work for me last night.” Valencia slapped Heather’s ass before she returned to the waiting ingredients. 

Heather’s spine straightened and one hand strayed to the still-stinging muscle. Her head tilted to the side. Several questions formed on her lips, but none fully took shape.

“You’re in your pajamas” was the only ludicrously obvious statement her voice managed.

“It seemed more polite this way although, in all honesty, I think Rebecca would be weirdly delighted to find me making omelets naked. We’ve both seen each other’s vaginas in the past, as you know. The boundaries in our friend group are... really unusual.” She chuckled and shook her head. “Doesn’t matter. All this --” Valencia gestured to her lithe form “-- is now officially for your eyes only. She’ll have to rely on her very active imagination to fill in the unknowns.”

Heather turned from Valencia to the bedroom doors and back again. Her eyebrows quirked while her mouth hung agape.

Valencia walked to where her phone was charging from the wall socket. “I have to keep an eye on the time. I’ve got that meeting at Home Base and you’ve got an appointment in El Segundo. There’s a very busy day ahead of us.”

Heather leaned on her elbows. “Huh.” Her shoulders rose and fell. She was too utterly baffled to do much else but watch while Valencia measured out brie in a cup. 

Valencia beat eggs and water in a bowl before adding salt and pepper to the mix. She checked the spice rack with a sigh. “These labels are faded. It’s going to get a little guess-your-best for a minute.” A container three over from the left caught her attention. She plucked it from the holder and tapped the contents onto her fingertip. Valencia sniffed experimentally then crossed to where Heather stood. “Is that nutmeg?”

Heather hesitated as the inquiry tugged on her déjà vu. Her gaze traveled from Valencia’s expectant features to the proffered spice. She angled forward with uncertainty. Valencia lifted the sample near Heather’s chin. Heather closed her lips over Valencia’s finger and curled her tongue against the skin in a tentative sweep. Her taste buds confirmed what her observations suggested.

“Yeah.” She cleared her throat. “You picked the right one.”

“I usually do.” Valencia winked. She kissed her cheek, and Heather leaned into the touch.

The rest of the meal prep passed uneventfully. Heather studied every step with an ache in her chest she couldn’t quite explain. Valencia strained to access plates in the cabinet, loaded the finished breakfast onto them, and placed one in front of Heather along with utensils. Heather thumbed the tines of the fork and frowned. “This isn’t real.”

Valencia’s hand slid across Heather’s shoulders. “Did you light a morning joint or something? You seem like your thoughts are clouded.”

Heather looked into her eyes and caught Valencia’s fingers with hers.

“Screw it.”

She pulled Valencia’s body against hers and kissed her fiercely. 

Valencia’s arms folded around her neck. “Maybe I should consider becoming a chef on the side. The job seems to come with some pretty great benefits.”

Heather’s palms gripped Valencia’s thighs and she hiked her onto the counter top. She nuzzled Valencia’s neck before she dragged up the slope with her open mouth. Valencia ran the backs of her fingers along Heather’s jawline. Something sharp and metallic scraped her cheekbone. 

“What was that?” Heather returned to Valencia’s lips and crashed against them.

“Hmm?” Valencia murmured into the kiss.

“That scratch.” Heather reluctantly broke away to examine Valencia’s hand.

She did a double take. Her left arm crossed her chest to bring the inexplicable accessory closer. It was then Heather noticed her own jewelry and her heart lurched.

“Wait. When did we get matching rings?”

Valencia’s soft laugh breezed over Heather’s shoulder blade. “That’s typically how it works, hon.” She followed the outline of Heather’s face in a feather-light caress, every stroke expressing familiarity and tenderness. “You really didn’t rest well, did you?”

Heather’s answer was a helpless shrug. “I’m completely lost.”

Valencia smiled. “I can tell. It’s like your brain’s still back in bed.” She trailed kisses from Heather’s lips to her ear. Valencia gave the lobe a gentle tug with her teeth and whispered, “Wake up, my wife.”

___

Heather sputtered as her eyes flew open. She flailed against the headphone cord stuck under her arm and panted. Her sight adjusted to the darkened room but the bewilderment lingered. 

Outside, the wind gave a mournful howl.

Comprehension finally settled over Heather and she gave the window an unimpressed look. “You.”

She disentangled herself from the earbuds. Heather set the phone beside her lamp. Her finger tapped the button to check the clock. 2:11.

Heather groaned and flopped back against the pillows. She glowered at the night beyond the glass.

“Y’know, if you were gonna fuck with my head, the least you could’ve done was let me finish fucking in my head. That should just be, like, common dream-invasion courtesy.” 

She shifted on the mattress. Her boxers clung to the space between her thighs. Heather’s oxygen huffed through her nostrils in resignation. “And yet, it seems to have been enough to carry over into reality. Thanks for that. Full sarcasm. Little shit.”

Briefly, she considered opening the drawer of her nightstand but then thought better of it. The battery kept dying lately for some reason.

“Looks like I’m doing this the old-fashioned way.” 

Her right hand slipped under her waistband while the left coaxed a sheet up her legs, as if concealing the activity from the gust taunting the house.

“This doesn’t mean you’ve won, by the way. It’s just that I’m bored and wide awake now. I need to get tired enough to go back to sleep.”

The whistling reached a shrill pitch.

Heather closed her eyes and clenched her teeth. “Shut up, Devil Winds.”

[angstandhappiness]

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