#equivalent exchange girlies!

[puppyeared]

obsessive

[theminiartblog]

Doxxed! So it was time for a change-- Just in Time for Fall at Least,,,

[bitedisease]

couldn’t sleep last night so I went through the wiki to see how much sleep everyone else was getting

some notes!

delaila gets the least amount of sleep out of everyone. she only gets 1½ hrs (2:30-4am) while her husband gets 6 hrs (10pm-4am)

most of the characters who get 4 hrs sleep from 12-4am, except tamala (sleeps from 4-8am) and reth (sleeps in the storeroom from 8pm-12am before his second shift)

tish and tau are the only characters who get a full 8 hours! tau goes to bed at 7pm while hassian stays out until 10 (he needs to get his daily “be emo by the lake” time in)*

subira probably sleeps from 12-4 like the majority of the villagers (i vaguely recall seeing the 💤 by her icon at night) but since she doesn’t leave her room the wiki didn’t note down when she ACTUALLY goes to sleep so 🤷‍♂️ sorry girlie ur bald now. for nuance.

kenli sleeps on the couch but he sleeps 6½ hours and eshe only gets 2½ hours but she presumably sleeps in a bed. equivalent exchange, or something.

*this is unfortunately glitched btw. if you’re in kilima in the evening you can see tau and hassian separate at the fork in the road heading to bahari bay but if you’re in bahari then you’ll probably see hassian by the lake with tau clipping through his body

[byproducts-of-my-imagination]

Of Eye Bags and Sadness

It has been... a very long time since I’ve posted something new.

700 ish words 

cw:  general yandereness but nothing too heavy

You've always hated bullies.  Those who pick on others they deem lesser than themselves.  People insist on wrongly weighing each other to decide who is lesser or greater, based on inane things like money.   As a new transfer to this high school, it took all of a few minutes and exchanges to realize that Satozakura high school is no better than the hell hole you came from.  After a brief introduction, you're directed to sit next to the gloomiest looking son of a bitch you've ever had the pleasure of laying your eyes on.  Maybe it's the long bangs, or the dead look in his eye, but something about him pulls at your heartstrings.  

Sometimes, you see weird things.  But most of the time you ignore them.  It's not your problem if someone's got the equivalent of a literal albatross around their neck.  But this boy, although he looks like he'd be surrounded by those pesky demons, has none.  However his whole aura is dampened, heavier than most people.  It feels almost suffocating to be sit next to him, to be adjacent to his cloud of misery.  You reluctantly put him out of your mind in favor of paying attention to the lecture, out of fear of falling behind on the first day.

It isn't until lunch break that you realize why he pulls at your heartstrings so much.  You follow the sound of blunt force and muffled groans to see him, ganged up on by a group of boys with crooked teeth and untucked shirts.

"Hey!! What's your problem?"  you hope your voice doesn’t sound like it’s wavering as much as you feel it like it is.  It must’ve though, because bullies can smell fear like sharks smell blood.

"Lookie here girlie, ain't nobody had a problem with us here before, and no one's about to start looking for trouble.  Why don't you just go back to your prissy little lunch and forget about this yeah?"  he sneered, cocking an eyebrow at you.

"No… uh, I-I'll call the teacher if you don't leave him alone." Your voice definitely shakes this time, as they start to laugh at you.  

"The teacher doesn't give two shits about what happens, looks like you've got a lot to learn about this place, newbie."

"Can't you leave him alone?�� It's the first day of school and you're already tormenting him…." As you trail off, you notice a trickle of blood from the boy's nose.  He's awake, but won't meet your eyes.

"Leave him alone??  After I went the whole break without my fun?  You've got to be kidding me, sweetheart."  

The bell rings, and slowly people trickle into the hallways.  

"Looks like you've been saved by the bell shitface.  I'll see both of you tomorrow."

You help him up, and dust him off a bit.  He still won't look at you though.

"Have they always been like this?"

"...yeah."

You give him your name, and he mumbles his own back to you.  

Yoshino Junpei has never been one to think good of others.  After all the bad they've shown him, how could he?  This strange girl is likely to be no exception, he thinks, probably just looking to be a hero, or merely taking pity on him.  A small ember of hope sparks though, through the negative feedback loop he lives in.  What if, just what if she did it for him?  Because she cared?  It would be too much, too much for him if he had these nascent hopes crushed.  He just wanted to go home and watch a movie, and put this behind him, but the words found their way without him meaning to.  

"...why did you do that?"  

"Do what?  Help you?" He nods, wiping blood off his face with the back of his hand.  

"Because you looked like you needed help."  you answer, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

And this, this is what changes everything.  After being so used to seeing the worst in people, someone who did the right thing, just for the sake of it, and for him nonetheless, was astounding.  It was a sharp moment of clarity in the fog.

A moment of silence passes between the two of you, as he slowly raises his eyes up to meet yours.  You look back at him with what he thinks could be love.  And he looks back at you with a frenzied reverence that he thinks is love.

[jugsonmydick]

My t has only made my tits bigger...before anything related to my chest didnt intrest me or disgusted me but since t its made my titties so sensitive... i gropw and masassge them everyday and it makes me feel so dysphoric and gross while making me wet as hell too... i think all the groping and massaging has made me grow a cup size 😵‍💫

Wow! Normally I hold the threat of completely eviscerating someone's T supply over them, buuut in your case I GUESS I can give you a pass??? You know, as long as you make sure to shave them and keep them looking as smooth and girly as possible. Its equivalent exchange. 🥰💞

[maplesyrupsainz]

Charles gf is so messy. People found her twitter and saw she liked some questionable tweets one was racist and the account was a well known neo Nazi who's account is literally "racial consciousness" and then a bunch of tweets in favour of Macrons law which is a French law which would affect the working class, it's the reason for all the riots a few years back so her being in favour is basically the equivalent of a nepo baby telling people if they don't have money they should just get a job.

When people found her account and spread the tweets she deleted the account. It died down until a few months back and even her fanpages spread the screenshots and said how upset they felt about it and she started to block people who shared the screenshot including fanpages. Spent an entire quali session deleting comments calling her racist under her post, blocked people literally today who posted the tweets on tiktok.

The thing is that she could have denied the tweets and said they were fake or even claimed she misunderstood them/was young (16) and is now more mature and knows that mindset is awful and wrong but instead she doubled down and blocked people which kind of proved they were real. There's also screenshots of Antoine (Charles' photographer) in dms with fans saying she can't be racist because she's Mexican and using the tweets to make her out to be a bad person is stupid. Which apart from being a stupid thing to even acknowledge and argue with fans over it is also him admitting those tweets were 100% real.

She's also a chronic silent sponsor girlie. Basically she promotes brands by being seen wearing their stuff and people will obviously post Charles and she'll be next to him so people will ask about her outfits. She doesn't have to legally say it's a payed ad because the laws don't class goods and engagement as official payments. So she can get away with getting sent clothes in exchange for wearing them as promo without all the hassle. It's just a shady loophole that Kelly used to do and only got called out for after her family made those comments towards Lewis.

She also used to be friends with Charlotte and when people posted about it she blocked Charlotte so all her comments, tags and likes on Charlotte's account vanished. There's also multiple instances of her lurking on gossip pages before she and Charles were official and public where she was reacting and responding to gossip about her by correcting info like nationality, age, birthday etc.

Just a bunch of shady weird shit that put people off from day one. The entire thing is actually so interesting and a huge deep dive. There's so many weird ass coincidences and it really puts Leclerc in this weird light and not in a good way. His company is questionably shady.

posting this for anyone else who didnt know about this!!! so crazy lol it would've been so so easy just to apologise & claim she was uneducated and unaware.. do these ppl not have pr reps or what?? blocking ur own fanpages is crazyyyy behaviour

i suppose rich ppl literally do not care about anything 😳

[illarian-rambling]

Happy STS! Are any of your OCs in fandom? Do they write fanfic, create fanart, make AMVs, or do they just enjoy?

Hi there!

So, fandom looks a little different in pseudo-pirate age, steampunk society, but that doesn't mean it's not there.

Elsind is my character who is 100% into fandom. He's a romance book girly who especially loves fluffy monster romance, as he can sort of see himself in the monster. She's never without a book, and I think after the events of the story, she probably opens up a little bookshop that sells everything from crazy sci-fi to the most tasteful of smut. Through this bookshop, I'm sure she'd meet people who are fans of the same series she is.

From there, they'd construct their own mini local fandom. Elsind would handwrite fanfic and take copies to the printing shop to distribute to their friends in exchange for raunchy oil paintings in place of suggestive AMVs. Everyone would be encouraged to participate with their own trade. Elsind would probably arrange monthly meetings where everyone can talk about their most recent read, or all compare notes on one book. Truly, she's the fantasy equivalent of one of those 50s housewives who were so into Kirk/Spock that they invented new ways to interact with media.

Thanks for the ask!

[butididnottried]

Of Billy antis and, apparantely, their, i guess, apprecation for Neil, more or less <3

Am gonna be “whiny” because why not Neil, whyyy never Neeeil, it’s fucking never fucking Neil, FUCK. HIM. All of my homies hate Neil.

So, this post, this fucking post, that was made, like, two days ago? Because of reason this one specific post snapped something in my brain. I don’t even know why, it’s typical anti post, with typical “oh how irremediable monster Billy is” arguments. Nothing new. Ok, the new thing is that op removed this post and apologized. Like, that’s nice and all, but also ??? People usually don’t behave like that, good for you op for handling that properly and nicely.

(I already wrote some of this post and it’s longer than i expected, so, under the cut ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Funny thing is, that i started following fandom some time after season 4, because of how steddie flooded everything, and it was really nice, seriously, jut a bunch of fans cooing over their new blorbo. In a few weeks i learned very much about ST and it’s characters only from fandom (not valid very bad way of doing that, misinformation and bad takes and interpretations up to the roof xD), but from perspective of time i can recognize how weirdly selective that knowledge was, because, holy shit, from what i saw while there was no hate towards Billy, his existence was fully ignored. It took me over a month of reading fanfics before i came up to one with Billy in it (evil, very evil, because steddie need to happen somehow), and despite reading many fics with Max in them, i had absolutely no idea who the guy was. Like, the heck? Just some background bully character? With absolutely no connections to this disabled, kinda bitchy poor girl? Or fully abled, happy and with no worries bitchy girl. Depressed in canon? No sir, we don’t know her. Just superior characterization. :/

I don’t remember how i stumble to the Billy side of fandom, but wow, that was fast. While steddie side was - still then - nice nad fluffy and mostly with no real worries, Billy stans had the real, fat meat with thick gravy, and guys, my dudes, the most smartest girlies, you we’re and still are, taking this apart - child and domestic abuse, homophobia, racism, classism, repression, masculinity, objectification, parentification, disability, mental illnesess, ableism, prejudicions, writing of the show, themes, cinematography, all that stuff, just, mmm, delicioso *chefs kiss* And this is also how i learned about Billys antis, i saw how they behave and talk, how hateful they are and how steddies grew just to be most awful, sadly making ST fandom almost as bad as Star Wars fandom, if not at the same level. But. But i’m not active in the fandom, i’m one of these fans that are just stalking, watching, reading, reblogging. No, i never had to handle antis myself. (Like, it’s my third post about ST and in previous two i was just making fun of it xD) And yet i know how many, many of them are full of hate, almost deliberate ignorance and just horrible views. Listen, if somebody is harshly and negatively criticising the supernatural/fantasy side of a show, ok, we can talk and exchange opinions, because these parts of plot are not real, usually have no equivalent in real world, even if they can be metaphors for real problems, most times we don’t need to be so serious about these. But if someone says that abused character that is not, how to put it, not behaving nice about their abuse, deserve only to suffer and die, then big yikes on a red flag, because for 99,9% that’s also their opinion on real people. And like, i never was abused. My dad, while more or less neglectful, was against hitting kids, and in school, while bullied, i never was beaten up or in a real fight (but, yo, my good people, it was because i was radioactive back then so no close contact, why not), and still, i can have empathy, sympathy and fucking compassion for Billy. Just like i had it in elementary school after learning that one of my bullies was beating by his parents. We didn’t become friends or anything like that, but. It’s not that hard, to have some basic understanding.

Sooo, it feels like this is kinda too long already and not very necessary, but i just wanted you to know my, eeeh... where do i stand in fandom, my position towards it? Because it’s different, how i’m just silently hoovering above, and how you all are in this all, dealing with antis even for years, since season 2, and most probably many of you already had conversations about this, but in this almost a year i’m here i didn’t saw mentions of that thing. Maybe it was just talked to death and left behind. Because, honestly, i’m not a smart person, kinda of a dumbass even, and in no way i’m first to notice that. That thing, with antis, that i started this post with. Get back to the ponit, which is...

FUCKING NEIL.

Those two lines in post i mentioned, about “Runaway Max”.

“anyway, the amount of pure hatred i feel for billy hargrove just keeps intensifying with every chapter i read.“

“according to max, him and neil “have a lot of opinions about anyone who isn’t white and Lutheran and a man (128).“

Pure hatred for Billy. But Billy and Neil. Billy AND Neil. Are having these same bigotes views. With emphasis on “these same bigotes views”, because of course, yeah, sure, why not. But there’s no hatred for Neil. Only Billy. Neil is almost non-existent. He’s noticed only when it need to be made very crystal clear that abuse that Billy is going through is absolutely not an excuse for his actions, nuh uh, no sir, there’s a checkmark on this and that’s all, no need to say more abou that one particular man. He is schrodinger abuser - has everything to do with Billys behaviour and absolutely nothing at all. Seriously, Neil is talked about only on Billys side of fandom.

It’s fucking never “during season 2 Billy was just the worst, so violent and agressive, he was a bigot, a sexist, so SOOO so racist, a murderer and rapist and facist and nazi and he was speeding and smoking, drinking alcohol, having sex and throwing slurs left and right all the time, and he was abusing Max literally all the time and was controlling her every move just because he was an asshole and a bitch and dick and, oh the HORRORS, he was pursuing married, middle-aged woman that just simply could not say ‘no’ and cut that teenange bullshit behavior, becuase she’s a delicate and weak woman with no free wil and he’s an toxic man so she needs to do whatever he wants, i’m gonna faint any moment because of how vile and irremediable villain he is. Oh what’s that. His father is the same? Neil is using slurs? Violent towrads his own son? He’s the one making Billy hoovering over Max like a hawk? Is Neil treating Max like that? Is Max safe in her own home? What abou Susan? Oh, oh, Jail for Neil! Jail for Neil for one thousand years! And Billy too, because i hate them BOTH. They’re togehter just the worst. And in season 4, when Max admits that she’s happy that Billy died, and it’s truth and only truth and nothing more and less that just the truthies truth, and she says in her letter that Neil left? Oh, how relieveing that this monster is gone. Maybe Max and her mom are poorer right now and are living in a trailer, but at least they’re finally free of abuse, violence and bigotry.

Ah, no, sorry, it’s actually only about Billy. They just do not hate Neil. Why? Like, i know why, but WHY? I did not read “Runaway Max”, but i know that there’s a few pages long (good fucking god) of very depictive descrpition of how Neil beat the shit out of Billy. Seriously. Not only to the blood, but enough tto Billy having problems with event standing up from the floor. But his grown man hurting and teenanger is not that bad really, only kinda bad, not as much as his victim, we don’t need to focus on mr. Hargrove too much because his role in Max life is apparently not big enough to be in any way important. But i know that from Billy side of fandom, while antis are without any break relieving over and over how Billy cast dead cat on fire (not gonna lie, i personally also would not like that). But also it looks like this book is written in a way that makes Max an very reliabe narrator, that always says the most unbiased and objective truth. Well, at least antis are believing her every word. And yea, books shouldn’t at every step reminding reader that, hey, do not believe that person every word, they’re fucking kid and know almost nothing of world, but - and, eh, i don’t want it to sound like i’m throwing accusation at this book author, i don’t know this person and this is just how it looks from the outside, from opinions and quotes that i saw on both sides. But, it unfortunately looks like this author is more or less Billy anti themself, like they’re sharing and endorsing these same views at abuse. Maybe they don’t care, maybe before writing this book they watched the show once and had very shallow outcomes from it, maybe they weren’t digging deeper into that and wanted just get some fat check for writing a book for a popular franchise. Honestly, valid. But why then be so cruel and careless towards depictions of abuse? Just for shock value? Like Duffers? I guess :/

Anyway, antis. So fucking adamant of how they hate abuse, how it’s bad, how they are so good and right and caring, but the real abuser it out of their picture. It almost looks like they have nothing against him. Oh, Neil is calling Billy slurs, slapping him and humiliating? He can have that, be a violent homophobe as a treat, because i also hate Billy, so Neil is my kind of guy. But also Billy deserve to be called slurs and beaten up, so. Are they the same type of person? Antis and Neil? That’s why they don’t talk about him? Because they’re aware thay they would sound very similar to him? (i coneccted the dots lol) Neil with no doubt is a bigot. And many Billy antis are racist and ableist towards his fans. Victimblaming Billy for what’s happening to him. I’m sooo veRY PREtty sure that Neil do not want to do these things to Billy, but this boy just don’t know how to behave properly, like a real man, with respect and all that other bullshit, yadda yadda.

Maybe instead of stranger-rants bingo cars about bullshit  that anits are repeating about Billy we should have this one shrek meme with Lord Farquaad pointing finger and text “child and domestic abuse apologizer”. Because there’s no middle ground on this topic. If in this situation you’re againts Billy, then you’re on Neils side. You’re against any kind of abuse, or you’re just an asshole that is using poor excuses to doom ceartain people to suffering because you don’t like them or they don’t met your very specific and weird (and more or less unethical) morals. God fucking not bless holy shit kurwa mać ja pierdolę. :/

Or, maybe, you we’re a victim yourself and that’s why you hate Billy. But, listen, if you wen’t through hell because someone was hurting you, why you think that there are people that deserve the same? When you know how horrible and scary that is? Did you deserved that? No. Then why someone else should be abused? Because they’re reacting bad to what’s happening to them? They can’t copy in a healthy way? Hey, hey. You know what, sounds like you also can’t copy healty, if you’re harassing strangers, calling them names and use your own abuse as an excuse for how you behave, while be very, agressively firm about how Billys abuse is not an excuse to be a shitty person. Get off internet, get off fandom, really curate your safe space and get away from antis, apply some self care.

[thephantomcasebook]

Are you ready for the incredibly stupid, massively ridiculous. but predictably inventible Last Great Ship War of 2024?

Helaemond vs. Alysmond vs. Daeron/Alys

All of the girlies tearing themselves apart over who is who's truest love.

As the last true unbeta hetero-sexual man on this degenerate satanic watering hole, how does the coming apocalyptic fangirl war feel, knowing that there's no escaping from it?

Dude ...

It hasn't even happened yet and I'm tired already just thinking about it.

I'll ignore it as long as I can ... but, knowing me, I'll end up making everyone mad at me.

I already trigger people for fun on twitter by saying am a Alicent/Daeron truther ...

You - facetiously - say that Season 2 should end with Daeron having butt sex with Alicent just once and suddenly all Green stans are evil degenerates ... someone got so fucked up over it they even messaged HBO customer service.

Christ, I would give a lot money to hear how that e-mail exchange went.

That's like the twitter equivalent of making fun of someone so hard that they puke.

Anyway, if the cold ship war turns hot, I'll take the contrarian view of being a Daeron/Helaena shipper - cause, even though I'm all in on Helaemond ...

What's the fun in picking a side when you can make your own?

That's what I say.

[unsentimentaltranslator]

And part of lacking shame means not constantly framing it as “being crap at things”. While the 2003 equivalent of Tumblr girlies were doing their little humility exercises about language learning, I was sneaking out of my hotel room on an exchange in Tokyo and navigating the subway system so that I could buy the CDs I wanted. While the early Tumblr girlies in 2011 were doing their little humility exercises about language learning, I was in Cologne saying “ugh I hate this song. It doesn’t matter if he’d catch a grenade for her; she doesn’t have to date him!” in broken German. Just go do stuff; who fucking cares.

You need to be okay with being crap at things to get anywhere in life. You might not be the best but that doesn't mean you can't fight for what you want. In the end it's always the people who are least ashamed to go for what they want who will get what they want.

[weedhorse69]

Background:

Holy shit bitcoin is really just a worldwide game that got value because enough people agreed to play.

This is my favorite article on the topic so far and the one that explains it most clearly. But yeah, it works because of artifical scarcity and people willing to spend money on processors to guess/”solve” the right hexadecimal value to mine coin.  Which means that Ethan got incredibly lucky that he decided to play this game back in 2012 (while I was busy being suicidal what am i DOING). 

Several coins like this exist, and it looks like dogecoin is the second most popular cryptocurrency. 

Environmental impact: 

Ooooh why are the top articles funded by powerful financing groups that have a lot to gain from bitcoin staying in circulation. Ladies, ladies please.  

“Studies indicate that the annual carbon emissions from the electricity generated to extract and process Bitcoin are equivalent to the amount emitted by New Zealand or Argentina.

The publication indicated that there are still disagreements about how big the carbon footprint of cryptocurrencies is, "but nobody disputes that it is big." Also, because of the way the industry works, the more popular Bitcoin becomes, the higher its carbon footprint”

source

So a solution is that bitcoin can still exist with a switch to sustainable energy practices.  The issue is that most folks are still using electricity off of our current grid which produces carbon emissions. the foundation is bad, not bitcoin mining.  The issue is that our current carbon emitting foundation is also the most consistent source of energy (talking America rn. I know Europe and Canada are ~different~ and we’re all jealous lads).  

“One additional potential risk from the growth of bitcoin mining (and other proof-of-work systems as well) is the increasing energy usage required by the computer systems running the mining algorithms. While microchip efficiency has increased dramatically for ASIC chips, the growth of the network itself is outpacing technological progress. As a result, there are concerns about the environmental impact and carbon footprint of Bitcoin mining. There are, however, efforts to mitigate this negative externality by seeking cleaner and green energy sources for mining operations (such as geo-thermal or solar), as well as utilizing carbon offset credits. Switching to less energy-intensive consensus mechanisms like proof-of-stake (PoS), which Ethereum is planning to do, is another strategy; however, PoS comes with its own set of drawbacks and inefficiencies.”

source

“For example, Jack Dorsey, CEO of Twitter, promised to invest $ 10 million in developing cleaner technologies for the production of the cryptocurrency. In turn, Aker Solutions, an international engineering company based in Oslo (Norway), will build Bitcoin mining facilities that use renewable energy.”

source

Another common concern is that it is a waste of electricity.  Meh.  You can argue that TV is a waste of electricity.   

Ways to Benefit: 

"I've done the math. Forget mining. Is there a less onerous way to profit from cryptocurrencies?"

As mentioned above, the easiest way to acquire bitcoin is to simply buy it on one of the many exchanges. Alternately, you can always leverage the "pickaxe strategy." This is based on the old saw that during the 1849 California gold rush, the smart investment was not to pan for gold, but rather to make the pickaxes used for mining. Or, to put it in modern terms, invest in the companies that manufacture those pickaxes. In a cryptocurrency context, the pickaxe equivalent would be a company that manufactures equipment used for Bitcoin mining. You may consider looking into companies that make ASICs equipment or GPUs instead, for example.

^^^

In conclusion: 

Bitcoin is only bad for the environment because of the framework it sits on.  A switch to renewable sources could remedy the very very real environmental impact that bitcoin has.  The trick would be convincing mining pools that investing in solar, wind, geothermal, etc is a good idea. Or providing an incentive to switch to renewable sources.  

This means that 

a) calls need to be made to your government official to make a penalty for mining pools giving off a certain carbon emission. might be hard to regulate tho since mining pools are spread throughout the country and bitcoin ensures a good amount of privacy in transactions.  

b) Pressure the mining pools themselves to reduce the carbon footprint or suffer further public backlash (looking at Malaysia incident). This seems to be the current popular path.  

c) Market renewable energy as more efficient than the current system. 

No, no girlie, think about who you are appealing to.  These are likely businessmen or redditors.  Both are likely to forget that people are an asset or are likely to undervalue humans.  They wont do anything until the environment affects them.  Their values align with being the strongest and most affluent there is.  

...I would have to think about this.  These folks tend to be high risk, high reward (like my bf) And rn the high risk high reward thing is to keep mining and keep playing with climate change cuz they usually think renewable isnt as good or easy cuz its not right there yet.  This is a marketing problem, isnt it.  Omg Im cringing as I say it but I deadass think that time would be better spent lobbying Elon Musk about this.

[cemetery-baccanal]

sebastian is a gourmet ghoul who was captured and used for like, organ farming and Ciel is one of the many kids that were being used for ghoul experimentation (w the whole classic my family was murdered argh) or whatever whatever what MATTERS is that Sebastian breaks free and makes a deal w new Half Ghoul Ciel that he’ll help figure out who did this to them and destroy them in exchange for Sebastian getting to eat Ciel when its over bc hes a freak who thinks a half ghoul w his own dna will be DELISH.

Grell and the other reapers are Doves or the equivalent depending on the time period it takes place in. Grell is a ghoulsexual and fantasizes abt being defeated and eaten by a ghoul. Unfortunately girlie is NOT into roleplay she wants it fr and is too fuckink strong for anyone she makes 🥺🥺 eyes at

Something something abt Undertaker being a ghoul who fell in love w a human and wanted her to b able to protect herself so he made the quinque weapons. He probably tried to use himself to make it so hed always be with her.

Ciel having to learn how to be a ghoul thru puberty and deal w a sebastian who is real comfortable w eating people to win a fight would be SO funny

Also having run ins w the reaper/doves while he tries to convince them no my butler isnt a ghoul no theres no sus reason why im wearing an eyepatch im an upstanding member of society meanwhile sebastian’s flashing fuckin crazy eyes behind his back

listen listen listen i had a dream the other night abt a black butler tokyo ghoul crossover and im so insane abt it im so mad i cant find any fic abt it it fits perfectly together in my mind

[stitchwitchsapprentice]

Fullmetal Alchemist Liveblog Ep. 9

Fullmetal Alchemist Episode 9: Be Thou For the People

Oh my goodness. I love Winry freaking out over tools. She is the cuuutest! Also, I love when girls are super into "non-girly" things.

You know what Al, I like traveling by train too.

Also, good for Al for sticking with Ed.

"Winry, there's no home left for us to return to." ONLY BECAUSE YOU BURNED IT DOWN YOU OVERDRAMATIC CHILDREN!

I will never get over Ed getting smacked around by various objects.

I love how resourceful Ed is with his alchemy.

"I'm a state alchemist. Cool, huh?" *gets kicked out of inn*

Aww, Ed is so sweet for lying about Al, so he gets to stay in the inn. He's so sweet and brotherly. Dawwww.

I love what a voracious eater Ed is. Daww, babbies!

Is is just me, or is the military person in charge of this place the Emperor's guy from Mulan?

"You're paid what you're worth." And this lady is clearly related to Jeff Bezos or the Waltons.

I wonder if Ed got sent here to reveal the corruption going on... or if he was sent here to keep it running...

I love all the cool transmutation jewelry and shit that the alchemists have.

Okay, anyone who attacks a child with a sword is an asshole.

Hmm... I really want to know what Mustang's deal is.

Don't fall for Lyra, Ed! She's not anywhere as awesome as Winry. She is to her dad (?) as Cornelia is to hers in The Dragon Prince! Besides, who could deny Winry's pretty wittle face when she's excited about wire cutters?!?!

This asshole reminds me of Lady Innoulia in Daja's Book. "Oh I'm so sorry that we don't have better food for you." *Eats three times better than everybody else.*

Ooh! Using the Law of Equivalent Exchange to explain a living wage? I *like* this. We need our politicians watching this show.

Hmmm... I wonder if Mustang sent Al there as a test, to see how he interact with Mustache Man.

"I hope Ed is doing alright on his own." Oh come on, Al. We both know your brother. That is a literal impossibility. Half the time you have to use your strength just to keep him from being incredibly stupid.

Upsides of Your Spirit Being Attached to a Suit of Armor #23: Preventing your older (pipsqueak) brother from doing something incredibly stupid.

Aww, look at Al, rescuing the little kid. He's so awesome.

And he's going to pull a Mal in Heart of Gold and help the villagers defend themselves.

lol, buying the coal mine. And if the other guy tells people that he sold it, he'll get in trouble, so Ed doesn't have to worry about breaking the law to make the gold. What a clever little 12 year old you are.

*Busts into the inn, super perky* "Hi!"

Yes! Ed is so cute and adorable and clever! I love episodes with crimes that benefit actual people and the only people who get screwed over are corrupt assholes. Can I hug you Ed? Please? Ah, Al will hug me, if you won't. That's good enough. (Don't worry Al, I would hug you anyway. You're the one thing keeping Ed tethered to his sanity.)

What a surprise. Colonel Mustard is not surprised.

Ah, I get it. These episodes are about how Ed and Al developed their world-famous reputation. But it is going to get dark y'all. Just wait.

Adorable and clever... just can't figure out how to deal with being called short. It's like Marty McFly getting called "chicken."

Predictions:

Ed and Al are going to continue running around and trying to help people. This will eventually catch up to Ed and there's going to be issues with how he's been using his position in the military.

Questions:

Why doesn't Ed need a transmutation circle to do alchemy?

More worldbuilding pls? Like... I want to know how the military developed this reputation of being assholes who just stomp on commoners. I mean... if you mention any connection with the military, people literally throw you out of their homes because they assume you are a money-grubbing brown noser who cares more about power and prestige than doing the right thing. I think (I hope) this show is headed in the direction of showing that the truth is more nuanced than that, but that leaves of the question of how their reputation came about.

What would make this show better:

More scenes with Ed shoving food down his mouth. Because that's hilarious (and accurate, considering his age... even if he is a bean sprout.)

[mydisenchantedeulogy]

Run Devil Run [Chapter Four] Lesser of Two Evils [Karma Akabane]

Like instructed, Yukie went out on Saturday to meet up with Karma. He was outside the station waiting on her, she concluded, resting his back against the wall outside the station, too occupied with his cell phone to notice her steadily approaching. She immediately made herself known by standing in front of him and waving in his face.

Once their eyes met, she smiled gently.

“Not too bad, right?” Yukie gave him a slow turn and allowed him the chance to look her over.

Karma was honestly surprised; she wore down her ivory hair in adorable curls and painted her lips a glossy pink.

“Color me impressed. There is actually a cute girl beneath all that denim and plaid.”

She puffed out her cheeks in aggravation. “Maybe you just didn’t notice because you’re an idiot.”

“Sticks and stones,” Karma rebuked with a shrug. He slid his cell phone into the pocket of his black jeans and stepped away from the wall, coming to a halt beside her. The naïve pout on her face only made his smile widen.

Yukie saw this and rolled her eyes. She turned her attention to the front of the station and puckered her brow. Why did he want her to meet him here? Taito was a famous game center in Shinjuku; otherwise a hotspot for teenagers rolling in their parent’s money. She had a hunch as to why, but knowing the red head, she figured she’d better humor him by asking questions.

“What are we doing here? I know that you have some elaborate plan cooked up. This is just a cover, right?”

“And you say we are not always on the same wavelength; thick as thieves. But I’m glad you asked,” Karma remarked teasingly. He took her by the hand and began to pull her into the center, much to her dismay. Karma led her to a claw machine and slid behind her, pointing over her shoulder at an item to the back of the glass case. “I want that.”

He was referring to a game console with an emerald green covering. It was the only handheld left, but Yukie was certain Karma already owned one. She snorted in amusement. “Avarice is a sin, you know? I can only imagine what you plan to do with two.”

“I had originally planned to sell it off to some poor idiot for more than I bought it for, but I decided I’d rather you have it. We can play together via connect, instead of you trying to be a backseat gamer,” Karma stated. He really couldn’t stand that.

Yukie felt her face heat up. He really has it in his head that he and I are going to continue seeing each other. She wasn’t doing much to protest against this idea, but she also didn’t want to be seen with him and jeopardize her shot at making it big. It sounded terrible – like she had no heart – but aspiring for more was better than going back to what she had; absolutely nothing.

But, that was a completely different story.

As of right now, Yukie was finding it hard to believe that Karma would test his luck and his money just to get her that handheld. The chances of him wining were not in his favor; about 30 percent. Weight and size of the item were two opposing factors he needed to be careful of.

“I don’t know, Karma. It doesn’t look easy. Neither of us really have the money to waste either.”

“You don’t believe that I can do it?”

She frowned; of course she did. Something like this, however, was pushing it. The thought was all that mattered to her, but deep down she wanted one of her own. No more watching over his shoulder or waiting for him to die just so that she could get a turn. Yukie felt awful, because she wanted Karma to know that she would never doubt him. Before she opened her mouth to answer him, however, he rudely interrupted her.

“No problem, because I don’t think an idiot like me can do it either. That’s why I’m not going to.”

“Then how are you going to get it?” Yukie narrowed her eyes in annoyance. He was really something else.

“Someone else is,” he clarified with a grin.

Yukie puckered her brow.

She can be so clueless sometimes. Karma huffed a sigh of displeasure; good thing he liked her. “Guess I better explain it to you. So, while I was on suspension I came here just about every weekend and wrote down all of the games that raked in the most cash, on top of the prizes that drew the most attention; I wasn’t lying when I said I was going to sell them off at a higher price.”

His smile never faltered as he continued. “Unfortunately, a no talent fool like me doesn’t have the skill for such a plan, or the money to waste on it.”

“It’s not like you just to give up,” Yukie pointed out. Her eyes met his for a brief second. “So … out with it then. Who is the sucker?”

Clever girl, he thought with a controlled laugh. “Hide is his name, and he is something of a legend around here. Then again, the only ones who call him that are delinquents. His sister is the operator who adjusts the catchers, and whenever Lucky Hide wants something, he just takes poor old sister’s master key and takes it. No one has ever seen him do it, but he was nice enough to tipped me off – I have a way with words.”

She wasn’t buying this. Even so, there was nothing to be done about it now. Like she had said before; no matter the cost, Karma always got what he wanted. It would take something equivalent to a nuclear blast to stop him.

“So we ask. Then what? He just gives hands it over to us for no charge at all?”

Karma shook in disagreement. “A tool like him; no way. He will ask for something in return. Equivalent exchange right? And I know just what to offer him.”

She was curious now. Yukie wanted to know, but once again, before she had the chance to ask, he took her soft hand and led her further into the center. Karma stopped near a relatively new machine with bright flashing lights and pulled her close. Anyone else and she would have knocked them out.

“He might try to run if he sees me,” he explained once she narrowed her eyes at him. Gesturing with his finger, he continued. “That’s him over there; the one with the beanie.”

Yukie took a peak. The teen was strangely everything that she had expected him to be; a delinquent with a loud mouth and a fierce appearance. She frowned in annoyance as she watched him natter offensively with his just as crude seeming friend. Others around shot them uncanny looks, but they ignored it.

I know the sort of angle he’s playing. Drop in a seemingly attentive girl and even guys like this will do anything to impress her.

It made sense now. Karma asked her to wear something girlie for him; girlie and cute was Hide’s type.

“This kind of tactic is called honey potting; it’s a mean way for a person to get what they want,” she explained with a sigh. “But, he’s a mean person for using his father’s position as an employee of this center to steal what he wants.”

“You up for it? Our little game.”

I stopped playing these retaliation games a long time ago. Karma just has no empathy for others, no matter how unclear the situation is. She was no saint either. At one time she loved to play too. Karma gave her all the attention and all the praise she thought she ever needed. It was wrong, but she loved it. Just once more … but on my terms.

“Appeal to his interests. Is that the angle?”

Karma smirked – he was a little devil; so clever and manipulative. “That’s right. And the objective is the lesson. The console is just a bonus.”

She faked an innocent smile. “Tell me everything you know.”

--

From the information she was given, Yukie built a quick profile for her character. She knew that Hide liked cute girls; defiant was too strong an approach to take. Dimwitted was too annoying – she honestly didn’t have the tolerance for this one anyway – but easy to impress was right on the money.

This was poles apart from her actual personality, but she knew that she could do it; she was fairly good at playing roles. Her brief performance in the last school play was said to have been very convincing. All it took was a little inspiration to draw from, and given that she had friends with two very different personalities, she had this in the bag.

Timing was all she needed at this point.

Yukie waited in hiding until Hide’s yellow haired friend won an object from the claw machine and sprung. She could work with this, even though Hide was not the one who had won. Timidly she approached them, coming to a rest behind the target of her mission, and tapped him on the shoulder. An expression of admiration twinkled in her eyes.

“Sorry to bother you but could either of you tell me whe––

She purposely cut herself off and redirected her eyes to the small toy in the yellow haired teen’s grasp. “Oh wow! You won something from one of these things? I’ve never had the talent.”

He took the bait and smiled with a hint of arrogance. “You bet, sweetheart. It only cost me a single swipe from my player’s card.”

“More like his entire savings,” Hide snorted.

His embarrassed friend shot him a scowl. “Lay off man. Not in front of the babe.”

“I’m impressed,” Yukie lied. “The chances of winning one of these machines is pretty low. I hardly ever waste my time on them, even though the prizes inside are to die for.”

Hide smiled; she was too cute. “It’s all talent. I bet I could win you anything in here for the right price.”

Now it was her turn to act embarrassed. She held her breath a few seconds until her face warmed up, then shook her head. “For me? That’s really nice and all … but I don’t want to be a nuisance. You see I was looking for my friend; he told me he’d be in and out, but it’s been nearly 20 minutes since I last saw him.”

His smile widened. “I totally understand. It’s hard to pull away from this place; the games are pretty fun. But hey … I can wait near the entrance with you until he shows – maybe even get to know you a little better.”  

Yukie gently laughed. She locked her arms behind her back and shifted her hips naively. “I’d appreciate that. You did offer me a prize after all; I know just the one.”

“Lead the way, babe.”

She took his hand and led him over to the machine she and Karma were in front of earlier. Fortunately, the game console was still inside.

I know what I have to do, she thought with a frown. It was the lesser of two evils. But man do I want it.

With a low groan, Yukie forced another smile and laid her finger against the glass.

“That’s the one; the emerald handheld. I’d do just about anything to get my hands on it.”

Hide knotted his brows. This would be a challenge. Did he really want to do this? She seemed like such a sweet and innocent girl. He slid the card he used to collect points on from the pocket of his baggy jeans and offered it to her. “Take this up the counter and get you something to snack on.”

She took it and slipped off. By this time, she knew that Hide was going to cheat. He never swiped the card before he gave it to her. How did he intend to play without points? Cheat, obviously.

Yukie stood by the food bar and watched him from afar. All she needed was the proof to call him out on. She waited for him to make a move, but he just stood there. This confused her – his actions – so she returned to his side and cleared her voice.

Hide jumped like he’d been caught. He almost had been – his drive to fit in almost won.

Passing back his card, Yukie bowed her head. “Let’s be honest with one another. You were going to cheat, weren’t you?”

Hide widened his eyes. How could she have known? He never told anyone. The only person who knew about the key was some junior high student that jumped him behind the station one afternoon.

“That red haired brat. He told you about me, didn’t he?”

Yukie nodded in agreement. “He’s … someone I used to be close to. Kind of mean, isn’t he?”

Kind of an understatement. She sighed in disappointment. “The plan was to sucker you into winning me the game console, but unlike him I chose not to take advantage of you like that.”

“You know that I have been stealing. What now? Do you plan on turning me in?”

He was surprised when she shook her head in disagreement. She really was too sweet. What could she want?

“Name your price,” Hide said with a sigh. “You want that game console right? I can get it for you; for your silence.”

Yukie shot him a glare. “I want you to stop. Whatever reason you have for doing it can’t be that important. You could get caught or worse; get your sister fired.”

He frowned – his big sister was the world to him. I knew it was a possibility, but I never thought I’d get found out. If she knew, and the junior high brat knew, then maybe he wasn’t as careful as he thought. Hide just wanted to be known for something; he wanted friends who liked him for just being himself.

Tears filled his vibrant colored eyes. Did he really just schooled by a pretty girl?

“I won’t tell if you promise to stop cheating,” Yukie continued. She waited for his reply.

Hide offered his hand. “You have a deal. I’m Hideyoshi by the way; Hide for short.”

“My name is Yukie,” she introduced with a smile.

He shook her soft hand. Heat spread across his face.

So cute.

Yukie released him and locked her arms behind her. This was pretty awkward now. She forced another smile and decided that she’d better meet up with Karma. He would probably boo her for doing the right thing, but she didn’t care. A part of her felt good for helping out Hide. The other part … well, it wanted the console.

She groaned to herself and mentioned to Hide that she needed to be on her way. Before she left, he asked if she’d like to come back and play games with him sometime. Yukie happily said yes.

Meeting up with Karma in the food court, she explained the situation; how she couldn’t take something that was stolen. She opted not to mention that she made a deal with Hide, but she assumed that maybe Karma already knew this.

He didn’t seem to care – though he did call her Little Goody Two-Shoes for not following through with the plan. Yukie glared at him and helped herself to some of his lunch.

“Guess it can’t be helped,” Karma mentioned with a sigh. “I have to deal with you being a backseat gamer until you get a handheld of your own.”

Yukie frowned. He really was pressing this issue. She decided not to comment on it though. All she wanted to know was what Karma thought about Asano. Was he in love with her? Was he pushing her to become a Virtuoso because he wanted her to stand by his side?

She really wanted to understand. Then again, she really didn’t. How was Karma supposed to know? He and Asano weren’t even friends. And though Karma was very observant, she questioned his sincerity. She had a decision to make now; the lesser of two evils.

“Regarding our conversation last night,” Yukie mentioned out of the blue. She took a deep breath. “I … want to know your honest opinion about Asano, but not until I ask. Give me some time to figure it out.”

Karma agreed with a nod. “Suit yourself. But you may not like it.”

She said nothing out loud. At least I know it will come from the heart.

If only she knew that at this time, someone who knew her – someone who knew Karma – saw her. This same someone took a picture of them together, then left before either of them noticed.

What a can of worms this would open up.  

[chauhanparkash040]

Short Evening Dress is Perfect Pick For Any Occasion Except The Most Formal One

Delight, Flirty, Girly, Romantic and Striking these characteristics can be gotten from one and only one dress I. electronic. Short Evening Costume. Short night dress is perfect pick for any situation with the exception of by a wide margin the most conventional one. All things considered selecting practically any short night dress truly is certifiably not a reasonable idea. Impeccable dress is this supplements figure. Consequently to help you from it here are referenced numerous rules.

Take a gander at Length

Length of short morning dress changes from joints to simply over this knee to ultra restricted. Number of length will rely upon the wearer's other option, style, character alongside figure. Knee length is for all not happy with quicker lengths. Just over the knee length is made for those having exquisite legs and wishes to show them off of. Ultra short length is number of attractive and tasteful ladies who additionally have confidence in uncovering.

See Body Type however Selecting Style

Sort of the dress should be chosen considering body structure. It doesn't make a difference how wonderful the style can be, however till it enhance figure it isn't great. Little short night dress is fine incredibly on thin ladies everything being equal. All things considered on greasy young ladies this style won't almost certainly function admirably as it will in the end stick on these individuals.

For surprising ladies some kind of custom-made night dress is a powerful choice. Structured dress emphasizes positive components of thrilling ladies and covering the blemishes.

In tall ladies a wide range of short night pieces of clothing look great. As a representation, strapless short night clothing, sheath short night clothing, bridle short night clothing, one specific shoulder short morning dress and so forth.

Little ladies ought to choose domain midsection short morning dress, A-line short night clothing, direct cut off morning dress and so forth.

Take a gander at Color of Attire

Concerning shade of constrained night dress dark would be the best other option. Aside from it rosy shaded, orange, purple, pink, red, gold, silver alongside white hues can likewise be equivalent in pertinence.

Think about Materials

Little night dresses are best created from textures like man made fiber, silk, chiffon, alongside fabric. These are by and large respected best textures in light of the fact that in accordance with design rule your sleeker the material would be the hotter look the thought bestows. Rayon and polyester material are great exchange alternatives if need a reasonable material.

Offer thought to the techniques introduced while choosing short morning dress. By the by with them along these lines different things additionally which will be recollected when utilizing short night ensemble.read more

[lollydrag0n]

CASTIEL AND HIS SACRED OATH - 12x10, 12x12, 12x23

This scene here. This split second glance is so so important. I don’t know why people aren’t talking about it (I couldn’t even find any gifs of it and had to take pictures coz I’m computerly incompitent). But I wanted to give my own analytical response to this millisecond glance, because I think it demonstrates properly why Cas has never done anything about his feelings for Dean. 

First, some context from my behalf: I always assumed Cas had never admitted his love for Dean for one of two reasons, 1) he was an angel, therefore not quite understanding his feelings himself - perhaps confusing them with familial love, Dean style. Or 2) he was afraid his love may not be reciprocated. But after watching 12x10, 12x12 and 12x23, I can thoroughly rule out reason 1. 

Now, I’ll be talking a lot about 12x10 as that ENTIRE EPISODE and THIS LOOK are so closely correlated. 

Okay, so 12x10 (Lily Sanders Has Some Regrets). I’m sure you’re all familiar with this episode as it gave us some truly awesome Destiel moments as well as fem!cas. Now my initial reading of this episode (as well as many others, I’m sure) was that this was a detailed explanation as to why Cas hasn’t opened up about his feelings. The reason to this: God. Yes, Chuck, I’m looking at you, you huge cock-blocking celestial dork. You are the reason Cas is so fearful and closed-off. 

Lets delve into this episode a little bit for those who need a refresher: Ishim (an angel of the lord™) falls in love with a human and convinces Heaven a nephilim has been born, all so he and his squad can dispose of this child and the angel who stole the love of his life. Just to hurt Lily and free himself from the pain of rejection. 

I was somewhat surprised with this episode (because hot damn! The symbolism and themes are just SO BLATANT), but mainly by Cas. He seemed so concerned and disgruntled with Akabel who (supposedly) fathered a nephilim and fell in love with a human. Previously (in 12x08) he refers to this as an “abomination” (a word that prompts us to think of another so called “abomination”). Cas sounded quite just damning Akabel, explaining he “broke our [Heaven/God] most sacred oath.” This is important. 

This surprised me, and it felt wrong. Here’s why:

He was a soldier and angry at Akabel for laying with a human, falling in love with her, and birthing a nephilim… But, like… Isn’t this exactly what he’s done with Dean? (maybe not the nephilim part, but you get my point). If we’re to believe that for all these years Cas has had a huge crush on Dean “Humanity” Winchester (which he has), why then is he so stoic and cold when another angel does the same? Obviously this was many years ago when he was still a loyal servant of Heaven, and you can argue that that’s all it is - however - during this episode, Cas still seems uncomfortable with the whole angel/human relationship concept. It came off as very hypocritical, and that’s why it felt wrong. 

Now, it was one thing for Cas to act this way hundreds of years ago - before Heaven lost its controlling iron grip, before he fell, and before he met Dean. But Cas still appears justified with this “abomination” ruling. As he, Dean, Sam, and Ishim sit inside that church (the home of God), discussing the situation, Cas has nothing to say in regards to Akabel. He doesn’t seemed phased about getting him killed and only appears to offer a hint of remorse in conjunction with the child, calling it “horrific, but necessary.” 

After watching this episode I came to some pretty amazing conclusions and realised I was wrong about a few things. Cas wasn’t unsure of his feelings for Dean - he was ashamed by them. Much like I believe Dean is surrounding his sexuality. So now we have both Cas and Dean seeing their feelings as ‘wrong’ in some way. With Dean it’s in regards to his own perception of masculinity. And with Cas its believing his father sees human/angel relationships as “abominations” (this is often explained through the nephilim narrative). This makes Cas’s views way more intense in my opinion. He wouldn’t just be defying himself if he admitted his feeling, he’d be defying God himself - his father. He sees Chuck as believing angels and humans should not be together romantically. And I mean, when your father - the literal creator of everything - says something is wrong, you may feel inclined to obay.     

I also believe this is a parallel to Dean/John - mirroring their early relationship. The reason Dean isn’t comfortable admitting his bisexuality and subsequent love for Cas, most likely stems from his relationship with his dad and his upbringing. John never let him be a kid, never let him play around and shoved masculine behavior so far down his throat that he became frightened to do anything outside these teachings. Which most likely included homosexuality, as he grew up in a time where this subject was often stereotyped with femininity and weakness. John’s word was law in Dean’s world. And we’re only now starting to see him break free and come to terms with who he is. 

Doesn’t this sound a lot like Cas and Chuck? God created humanity and with that came rules - God’s law. One of which being “so like, all my angel children, don’t go around sleeping with my humans, that ain’t cool. Just don’t - in fact, its an abomination.” We know Cas isn’t one for following rules and has certainly distanced himself from Heaven in recent years, however, he is still an angel, and despite falling, he is still loyal. He cares for his brothers and sisters, even when they’re pieces of shit to him (*cough* Ishim *cough*). He is still seen helping heaven and other angels even though they may hate him. Because he remains loyal to them to an extent. This is why he still follows their most sacred oath. 

I’ll break down very basically the two rules Dean and Cas are currently controlled by, thanks to their fathers. 

Dean: “Man shall not lay with man. It is an abomination.”

Cas: “Angel shall not lay with humanity. It is an abomination.”

I believe this is the simplest way to put our two boy’s dilemmas. And although Dean isn’t exactly religious in a lot of aspects, this is the basic outline for their fears (as well as Dean’s being “can’t be seen as weak, can’t be seen as girly”).

Some of you may say (just like I did while writing this): “What about April? Cas had no qualms sleeping with her and he thought she was human, so waddup?” April, as you may recall, was that piece of crap that slept with Cas and stabbed him the chest before Dean rightfully kicked her ass. Well you’re right. When Cas slept with her, he did in fact think she was human (and not a reaper like we later find out). But don’t forget Cas was also human during this moment. Metatron had stolen his grace. If he really feels being with a human (love or sex) is as bad as I think he thinks it is, he must have convinced himself of that fact. “She’s human, I’m human - this is fiiiiiine.” You can even see the confused and conflicting fear skim across his face as he kisses her. 

I’d also like to point out that this episode is literally called “I’m No Angel” with Cas repeating this line after they have sex.

 Next up, we have Daphne (also human and practically the female equivalent of Dean), who was his wife for the briefest of moments during 7x17. But again, Cas wasn’t himself, he had amnesia, thought he too was human, and therefore saw no wrong in this. Other than these two examples, I don’t believe Cas has ever had another human love interest (excluding Dean, obviously) in all of the 9 years we’ve known him, which is a hell of a long time. So I think its safe to assume that Cas (when he’s fully sound of mind and all graced-up) believes it is wrong to be with a human. 

So, to recap: 

Cas loved Dean and is fully aware of this.

Sees human/angel relationships as wrong (thanks to the rules of Heaven and Chuck which are hard-wired into his brain).

Hasn’t done anything about his feeling because he is AFRAID (of Dean’s response) and ASHAMED (of what God would think).

Has only been with Humans when he is human, or thinks he’s human.

Okay, now its finally time to get back to those first three stills (thank god, you must be saying). Here is the scene that plays out directly before the glance:

This is then where we’re presented with that half-a-second glance at Dean from Cas. Pay close attention to what Luci says here and when it cuts to Cas. Directly after: “We can’t, daddy’s watching.” 

LOOK AT HIS FACE! Note how the frame LINGERS ON DEAN AS CAS FADES INTO THE BACKGROUND! LIKE!!???!?! I see no other reason for this exchange unless it is specifically related to something Lucifer is saying. The only other explanation I can think of is perhaps Cas is worried about Dean because Satan is mocking Sam and clearly not bothered by the threat of God, and he knows how Dean could get aggravated by this, but that’s stretching it. No, what we have here is Cas connecting to something Lucifer is saying. Its reminding him of his own fears. Namely, “Dean and I can never be together because daddy is always watching, and he would hate me. I can’t break my oath.”  

BOOM! There it is - the moment that made me sure of why Cas has never opened up to Dean and why he couldn’t keep eye contact during his group love confession. Because he is ASHAMED AND SCARED. I didn’t notice this glance my first watch through, but when I did the second time, HOLY SHT. This just drove home suspicions I had after watching 12x10 that Cas is fearful of his emotions and worried about how his father would react to them - even if it may be subconsciously.

I may be slow to this realisation, but I really wanted to bring up this scene in 12x23 as I don’t think anyone’s mentioned it. I just hope we get more of this, more of Cas confronting his feelings and dealing with why he hides them. Maybe we could even see him disregard his fears and start to accept himself and become less closed-off, like we’ve been seeing Dean do in the last two seasons. 

Anyway, that’s all I have. Thank you to anyone that read all the way through. 

EDIT: I wrote this before Season 13 came out and I feel compelled to mention Cas’s depression/empty!cas scene in 13x04. This entire post was about me believing Cas was ashamed of his love because he thought God would judge him (even if that may be wrong from what we - the audience - know of Chuck, but Cas certainly believes it - maybe subconsciously). This episode just further solidified my analysis with the whole “I know who you love, what you fear” line. 

Empty!cas is most Definitely referring to a secret feeling Cas harbors for someone (yes, singular) for which he feels shame. This is just more proof (fool proof proof that’s finally being rammed down the antis throats) that Cas is in love with Dean and thinks what he feels for him specifically is wrong and something he should be ASHAMED of. I am so happy with my reading after seeing this episode and empty!cas spelling out all my beliefs in the most obvious way that SPN could possibly present. I even appreciate empty!cas kicking Cas while he’s down by pretty much saying “I know what you hate (yourself, your emotions, why you are the way you are), who you love (Dean), what you fear (him not loving you back, and the ramifications you would face if you ever did anything about it)”. 

Beautiful. This episode was just beautiful. I could not have wished for anything more. LollyDragon out.

@tinkdw @olympiahell @postmodernmulticoloredcloak @elizabethrobertajones I’m interested in your guy’s response, if ya’ll have the time