#In which I have a little fun with symbolism and Heather has... well not nearly enough to stop rolling her eyes at me.

[quarterfromcanon]

I Want Not to Want Anything

Heather & Valencia - Femslash February - Day 20 - Longing  [1,314 words]

“This is what I get for taking the room with the jacked up window sash,” Heather grumbled. She stood on tiptoe as her hands bore down on the framework. “How are you still whistling?”

She turned the latch with a disgusted sigh. “Forget this. I’ve got work tomorrow. I’m going to bed. You do your thing, kabatic wind. See if I care.”

Heather grabbed her earbuds off the nightstand to plug into her phone. “Tuning you out now,” she announced to the indifferent air. 

Her limbs splayed across the vast expanse of mattress, already slightly damp from the heat. She closed her eyes, breath slowing to an even rise and fall, while the mellow playlist lulled her seamlessly into sleep.

___

Heather woke to the sound of clanging ironware. She opened one eye and her brow furrowed. “Since when does Rebecca wake up before me?” she wondered aloud.

She rolled off the bed. Both index fingers rubbed at her sensitive eyelids. Heather padded out of her room and entered the kitchen. She skidded to a halt. The woman standing in front of the stove wasn’t Rebecca.

It was Valencia. 

Her eyes were intent on the green apples atop the cutting board. She guided a knife with learned precision and hummed to herself as she worked. Her dark hair was gathered high in a loose bun to keep the strands from obscuring her vision. Valencia sashayed in time to the song in her head and a smile played across her face. Each movement of her torso and hips tugged against the chiffon nightgown she wore.

“V, what are you doing here?” Heather approached the center island.

Valencia’s eyebrows lifted before her amused gaze followed suit. “Good morning to you too, beautiful. Very funny. I know breakfast is usually your thing more than mine, but I do still remember how to cook when the mood strikes.” She circled the counter to close the distance between them. “Besides, I think it’s the minimum I can offer after you did so much work for me last night.” Valencia slapped Heather’s ass before she returned to the waiting ingredients. 

Heather’s spine straightened and one hand strayed to the still-stinging muscle. Her head tilted to the side. Several questions formed on her lips, but none fully took shape.

“You’re in your pajamas” was the only ludicrously obvious statement her voice managed.

“It seemed more polite this way although, in all honesty, I think Rebecca would be weirdly delighted to find me making omelets naked. We’ve both seen each other’s vaginas in the past, as you know. The boundaries in our friend group are... really unusual.” She chuckled and shook her head. “Doesn’t matter. All this --” Valencia gestured to her lithe form “-- is now officially for your eyes only. She’ll have to rely on her very active imagination to fill in the unknowns.”

Heather turned from Valencia to the bedroom doors and back again. Her eyebrows quirked while her mouth hung agape.

Valencia walked to where her phone was charging from the wall socket. “I have to keep an eye on the time. I’ve got that meeting at Home Base and you’ve got an appointment in El Segundo. There’s a very busy day ahead of us.”

Heather leaned on her elbows. “Huh.” Her shoulders rose and fell. She was too utterly baffled to do much else but watch while Valencia measured out brie in a cup. 

Valencia beat eggs and water in a bowl before adding salt and pepper to the mix. She checked the spice rack with a sigh. “These labels are faded. It’s going to get a little guess-your-best for a minute.” A container three over from the left caught her attention. She plucked it from the holder and tapped the contents onto her fingertip. Valencia sniffed experimentally then crossed to where Heather stood. “Is that nutmeg?”

Heather hesitated as the inquiry tugged on her déjà vu. Her gaze traveled from Valencia’s expectant features to the proffered spice. She angled forward with uncertainty. Valencia lifted the sample near Heather’s chin. Heather closed her lips over Valencia’s finger and curled her tongue against the skin in a tentative sweep. Her taste buds confirmed what her observations suggested.

“Yeah.” She cleared her throat. “You picked the right one.”

“I usually do.” Valencia winked. She kissed her cheek, and Heather leaned into the touch.

The rest of the meal prep passed uneventfully. Heather studied every step with an ache in her chest she couldn’t quite explain. Valencia strained to access plates in the cabinet, loaded the finished breakfast onto them, and placed one in front of Heather along with utensils. Heather thumbed the tines of the fork and frowned. “This isn’t real.”

Valencia’s hand slid across Heather’s shoulders. “Did you light a morning joint or something? You seem like your thoughts are clouded.”

Heather looked into her eyes and caught Valencia’s fingers with hers.

“Screw it.”

She pulled Valencia’s body against hers and kissed her fiercely. 

Valencia’s arms folded around her neck. “Maybe I should consider becoming a chef on the side. The job seems to come with some pretty great benefits.”

Heather’s palms gripped Valencia’s thighs and she hiked her onto the counter top. She nuzzled Valencia’s neck before she dragged up the slope with her open mouth. Valencia ran the backs of her fingers along Heather’s jawline. Something sharp and metallic scraped her cheekbone. 

“What was that?” Heather returned to Valencia’s lips and crashed against them.

“Hmm?” Valencia murmured into the kiss.

“That scratch.” Heather reluctantly broke away to examine Valencia’s hand.

She did a double take. Her left arm crossed her chest to bring the inexplicable accessory closer. It was then Heather noticed her own jewelry and her heart lurched.

“Wait. When did we get matching rings?”

Valencia’s soft laugh breezed over Heather’s shoulder blade. “That’s typically how it works, hon.” She followed the outline of Heather’s face in a feather-light caress, every stroke expressing familiarity and tenderness. “You really didn’t rest well, did you?”

Heather’s answer was a helpless shrug. “I’m completely lost.”

Valencia smiled. “I can tell. It’s like your brain’s still back in bed.” She trailed kisses from Heather’s lips to her ear. Valencia gave the lobe a gentle tug with her teeth and whispered, “Wake up, my wife.”

___

Heather sputtered as her eyes flew open. She flailed against the headphone cord stuck under her arm and panted. Her sight adjusted to the darkened room but the bewilderment lingered. 

Outside, the wind gave a mournful howl.

Comprehension finally settled over Heather and she gave the window an unimpressed look. “You.”

She disentangled herself from the earbuds. Heather set the phone beside her lamp. Her finger tapped the button to check the clock. 2:11.

Heather groaned and flopped back against the pillows. She glowered at the night beyond the glass.

“Y’know, if you were gonna fuck with my head, the least you could’ve done was let me finish fucking in my head. That should just be, like, common dream-invasion courtesy.” 

She shifted on the mattress. Her boxers clung to the space between her thighs. Heather’s oxygen huffed through her nostrils in resignation. “And yet, it seems to have been enough to carry over into reality. Thanks for that. Full sarcasm. Little shit.”

Briefly, she considered opening the drawer of her nightstand but then thought better of it. The battery kept dying lately for some reason.

“Looks like I’m doing this the old-fashioned way.” 

Her right hand slipped under her waistband while the left coaxed a sheet up her legs, as if concealing the activity from the gust taunting the house.

“This doesn’t mean you’ve won, by the way. It’s just that I’m bored and wide awake now. I need to get tired enough to go back to sleep.”

The whistling reached a shrill pitch.

Heather closed her eyes and clenched her teeth. “Shut up, Devil Winds.”

[buried-l0cket]

Hi okay I have more to say but this is a very long completely incoherent ramble that was SUPPOSED to be about instinctive female bonds and why men don’t understand or know how to write it and that’s why HTM’s characterization of the girls and the way they treat each other makes no sense but i got distracted a lot and also i don’t think i fully finished thinking through my point here so mainly this is just a really long rant about Chandler’s character that then leads into Why The Musical Writers Can’t Write Girls For Shit and then ya that’s it good luck.

Like the big issue with HTM’s early characterization: From the start they’re insistent on making every girl in the musical fucking DESPISE each other. And I know this points kinda confusing because, most of the girls in the movie do dislike each other. Veronica does admit she doesn’t really feel that bad that Chandler’s dead, just that she herself did the deed and is now a murderer. Duke says she’s prayed for Chandler’s death. Chandler treats Duke like shit. 

But so many people treat Chandler the same as the other characters when her entire character’s purpose isn’t to be a character like the others, she’s there to symbolize elitism and power. If you think about it she’s also a characterization of the movie’s view on society. She forces Veronica into uncomfortable situations with men at a party for her own gain, she puts Duke down constantly because she knows she’s an intelligent girl who wouldn’t quietly and blindly follow the leader like Mac if she thought she could BE the leader and be on top, she bullies other girls to keep her position, not because she’s an Accurate Depiction of a Teenage Girl. She’s just the privileged white 1%, she’s used as a visual for the corruptible power that we’re going to see passed along throughout the movie after she loses it through death. That’s why anyone who comes into power starts to take on her traits, the scrunchie, the red color scheme, in earlier scripts it was way more blatant but characters in power will even start talking like her, using her unique coins of phrases. Sorry, I’m getting a little sidetracked by this specific point bc this just really interests me and the fandom rarely talks about it because, understandably, we’d rather look at her as a 3D character, she’s interesting and mysterious and cold in the ground not 30 minutes in so naturally we want more and fluff her up with headcanons until she’s her own character. But for the plot and message’s purposes, she may as well just be the red scrunchie itself. Heather Chandler is an idea.

So these adaptations seeing her and running with it, keeping her alive through the whole story (P*eathers) and having her act that same way, and THEN using that as a basis for how all the other girls should treat each other, using it as an excuse for why the girls should all want nothing more for the others then death, is silly. She wasn’t a character, she was a representation of the oppression and control placed on the female characters by society. And even THEN, because that symbolism couldn’t be too heavy handed and she couldn’t just exist on her own, floating around the characters and not having a life, she’s tethered to reality and other characters through relationships and those relationships aren’t nearly as bad as adapters since have led us to believe!!! Chandler is a symbol of power and elitism because she, like the characters to come, has been corrupted by it. She’s just past redemption and at this point is that Power and Elitism herself. THAT’S what Waters was showing us when he took the sweetest Heather, Duke, and had her become exactly like Chandler after rising to power. Power corrupts, Chandler wasn’t just born like that. She’s canonically Veronica’s best friend, Veronica is just now deciding she hates being around Chandler. So Chandler has gotten worse over time. Mac gets severely depressed because of her death in earlier scripts. Her friends all care about her to a degree, except for Duke but she is literally Duke’s abuser. Veronica and Duke get angry at each other later in the movie so male writers adapting the story since have always made them hate each other from the start for literally NO reason (looking at the musical), but in reality at the start of the movie Duke and Veronica are portrayed as the closest of the two. They’re kind to each other, Duke comes over every week to listen to a radio show they both like, she’s also seemingly close enough to Veronica’s family to let herself into their home. They care about each other and Veronica is genuinely shocked and upset when Duke’s personality changes later on. In the movie Duke is a sad, mentally ill girl abused by Chandler who is scared to admit to herself that she wishes Chandler was dead until it actually happens and she’s relieved, who happily continues to be friends with Mac and work on getting her self esteem back for the rest of the movie after Chandler’s death until JD encourages her to take over the seat of power, likely so that someone ELSE doesn’t and start abusing her the way Chandler did. In the musical, she’s a 2D petty jealous bitch who wants Chandler dead so she can be in charge and who immediately starts abusing Mac back at the first chance she gets. In the movie Mac is a girl in an assumably abusive relationship with a rapist who goes on a double date with him, his friend, and Veronica, a date on which Mac gets raped and Veronica narrowly escapes being raped, and then the next day at school those rapists tell everyone that Veronica had a threesome with them, we don’t see Mac’s reaction to this and Duke is never even MENTIONED. In the musical Mac and DUKE go on this double date, at the first signs of trouble trick Veronica into going out there so she can get raped while they escape and sit in their car happily watching Veronica struggle to not get raped and then help spread the threesome rumor the next day. They’re not only made more at fault, they’re also given the majority of the fault that the rapists originally had, they’re made responsible for their own suffering as well as the other woman’s. 

Even Veronica, in the musical where she’s portrayed as “sweeter” and “kinder” and more “innocent” than her movie’s counterpart is given this pretentious I’m Not Like Other Girls mindset, looking down on the Heathers’ from the start not because she’s their friend and they’re cruel to people which she doesn’t like but because she’s an alternative outsider and they’re the Pretty Popular Girls tm and NO way is she like them but better befriend them to take advantage of their position. She makes fun of Duke’s eating disorder to her face, she does everything she can to distance herself from these girls from the start. 

I’m rambling but the main point I’m trying to make is men just... don’t understand the complex relationship women have with one another. We’re like pack animals. When you’re raised in a society that is built to break you down, prevent you from succeeding in favor of men, and tries to turn you against each other, yes you will fall into it in small ways. Make fun of each other’s appearances, gossip, that kind of shit. Teenagers suck. But girls also have an almost primal connection and protective relationship. There are just more layers to it then men seem to understand. Pettily saying something mean about your friend is an entirely different situation than tricking her into getting raped and watching. 

[wits-writing]

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Season 3 Ep 1: “Josh’s Ex-Girlfriend Wants Revenge” review

[My other Crazy Ex-Girlfriend reviews here]

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend season 3 opens as Rebecca sets out to redefine herself and uses that new persona to fulfill her season 2 ending promise to destroy Josh Chan for leaving her at the altar. Meanwhile, the other characters deal with their relationships as Paula deals with the final steps of allowing Scott back into her life after his infidelity and Daryl argues with White Josh about their future together.

[Full review under the cut]

The story for the episode is set up through the first song of the season “Where’s Rebecca Bunch?” It’s a number that feels styled after Into the Woods or similarly themed fairy tale musicals. This style is used to communicate the rumor mill of West Covina, CA as we see the entire supporting cast, using faux-British accents, wondering what’s happened to Rebecca in the two weeks since Josh left her. Besides that, there’s one question that gets repeated throughout the song “Where’s a woman’s pride without her man?” and that question has been a big part of Rebecca’s mindset throughout the series.

We see her in this song absolutely crushed with no idea of how she’ll fulfill her ominous promise to destroy her ex-fiancé. This mixes together with her general aversion to ever being viewed as pathetic, also seen when she got a makeover in “When Will Josh and His Friend Leave Me Alone?”, but this time the makeover isn’t about looking like she hasn’t been phased by the events in her life. She’s goes through her own steps to transform into a “woman scorned” before returning to her life at the law office. This opening number establishes her starting point for the season well as we see her descent into a self-styled would-be villain, symbolized by a closeup shot of her stepping on a soft-pretzel (which has been a symbol of the hope she placed on her pursuit of Josh since episode 1.)

Rebecca’s insecurities have often tied back into her worries about how other people perceive her and what role in life she thinks she should fulfill. How much she cares about what other people think while simultaneously not wanting to let herself appear vulnerable motivates this “dark” makeover. If she can’t be the girl going after Josh or the one Josh wants to spend the rest of his life with, she’ll fulfill the role of anti-heroic vengeance seeker. So much weight gets put on labels that’s all she can put her mind on is making sure she fits one with power. Her friends, Paula, Heather, and Valencia, are ready to be there for her before they realize how much the experience has broken her when she starts talking to them about her plan to get back at Josh; mailing him her poop and telling him it’s cupcakes. They’re all taken aback by how ridiculous that plan is, even by Rebecca-standards, and Rebecca’s attempts to keep re-explaining the plan as if that’ll have it suddenly make more sense is the one of the strongest jokes in the episode.

Eventually, she tells them an alternate (though still ridiculous) “Chan Plan” to ruin Josh’s chances of becoming a priest; record a fake sex-tape with a stand-in actor playing Josh who would yell out “I hate Jesus!” Her friends aren’t any more on board with this plan than they were the one about poop, but they’re at least more willing to humor Rebecca on this one until she comes to her senses. They go through with auditioning actors to play fake Josh until they find someone who’s, in Heather’s words, “a shave and nose job” away from looking just like him. When it nearly comes to the point of Rebecca having sex with him on camera, Paula pulls the plug and starts asking her why she thought something that could ruin her own reputation as well as Josh’s would be a good idea. Rebecca admits that she no longer cares about hurting herself if it means getting back at Josh for ruining her life. They say they’ll be there for her, but they’d never let her go that far.

The four of them elect to deal with this by drinking and vent about their problem with the men in their lives. This “primal ritual” is set to a glitzy 80s style song called “Let’s Generalize About Men.” All of them use their time together through this song to share mutual catharsis by talking about stereotypical gross behaviors associated with men including; only thinking about sex, being emotionally repressed, never listening, farting, and snoring. The fact that Rebecca, out of all of them, says that women always listen and never think about themselves unlike men is my favorite joke within the song’s lyrics. A close second to that would be when they start singing about how great gay men are contrasted against straight men (“They’re never angry just sassy!”). Mixed with the bright neon sets, clothing, and shoulder pads the characters wear, this song is probably the more fun of the two in this episode.

During all of this, Paula is dealing with her marital problems as she gets ready to let Scott more fully back into her life after he cheated on her with Tonya from his job. She’s puts up several goalposts for Scott before he’ll be allowed to sleep in their bed again and he’s dedicated enough to making up for what he did that he goes through with all of it, from signing in when he gets home from work to taking several lie detector tests. Paula still has her lingering doubts about whether she can ever be with him again. When those nerves get the better of her, she impulsively asks Scott to call her “Tonya” while they have sex on their first night back in bed together. Her distrust and nerves are understandable, but she’s eventually able to get to a place where she’s not going to give into those feelings as easily anymore after helping Rebecca through her issues.

Daryl and White Josh have their own issues in their still developing relationship as they’re having arguments over Daryl’s proposal from the end of last season that they raise a baby together. WhiJo says he has other things to worry about in his life before he considers raising a kid, like getting his startup business for ant-based protein bars off the ground after two years of planning. Daryl takes initiative to starting branding and marketing the bars himself while dressed as an anteater. The couple ends up going to therapy together with Dr. Akopian(’s husband and fellow therapist) where they are able to talk through this issue and leave WhiJo in a place where he’s ready to take raising a kid with Daryl into consideration. Daryl admits he can take things too far and WhiJo admits that he can be a little judgey (“My friends always call me that, but I never listen because they’re stupid idiots.”) These two, for as eccentric as Daryl can get, are still the most stable relationship on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and watching how they develop together has been a highlight of the show since Daryl came out as bisexual.

“Josh’s Ex-Girlfriend Wants Revenge” ends up mostly being an episode about setting the table for things to come in season 3 with Rebecca’s plotting to get revenge on Josh. She settles on Valencia’s Paula’s plan to sue Josh for ruining her wedding, but still secretly goes through with her original plan to mail him poop cupcakes “from Jesus.” This episode has one more great running joke in the form of Nathan pining after Rebecca after he sees her new makeover and attitude, going to lengths to talk to her that make Rebecca (“The Queen of ‘I just happened to be here’”) roll her eyes at him. Whatever this new “scornful butterfly” version of Rebecca has in store will be interesting to say the least as we wait and see if she’ll ever find a true path towards healthy living beyond any form of obsession with Joshua Felix Chan.

But the path she’s currently on will continue in the next episode with “To Josh, With Love.”

[lonely-kitten-named-bambi-backup]

Slow down, lie down, remember it’s just you and me

A fluffy little Namjoon Drabble, dedicated to a good friend of mine, that I hope you will all like. :)

Title inspired from Last Request by Paolo Nutini

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You shoulders where practically cupping your ears, body hunched. You were tense. Negative vibes shrouded you like a cloak, concealing any sweetness and happiness from view. They creeped, a sinister force hell bent on making everyone as miserable as you. It had worked on everyone, people on public transport gave you a wide birth, much more than what was socially deemed as your personal space. Well it worked on everyone up until now.

Namjoon, driven by a sudden burst of spontaneity, had prepared the apartment and a few surprises for the special one in his life. He wanted to show you how much he cared, to have a relaxing evening with his lover.

It’s not that Namjoon didn’t show you his affection through gestures before; he did that often but they came to be expected. There was a sense of monotony with the daily morning kisses and “I love you’s”. You deserved more than he could give you, but now that he had no schedules, he was going to spoil his Jagi.

Your slumped shoulders relaxed as you got through your door, relieve washing over your body, glad to finally be home. Home, where there was no expectations, no deadlines, no judgement, just glorious silence and serenity. It felt like a warm blanket on a cold winter’s evening, like a hug from your mother, it was comfort… it was home.

You hung up your coat and removed your heels, the relieve at the lack of bodily tension already calming you somewhat. You were ready to just pour a glass of wine, to allow the haze it provided to numb you from all the tension and frustration you felt. There were some days where you just needed a drink and this was one of them.

Your body was on autopilot, as you walked towards the kitchen, only stopping when you kept feeling a cold, ticklish sensation on the soles of your feet. It started to irk you, so you stopped to look down. You found yourself surrounded by rose petals as golden as the summer sun in mid July.

You eyes followed their path, your feet soon following along the side of their path, to him, to Namjoon.

He looked snug in a comfy sweater, his surroundings looking even more snug. He used the cushions, pillows, mattresses and favourite blankets to create a warm and quaint little den. A fortress of solitude to protect you from the hardships of the outside world. Normally you find such a thing a bit childish for an intellectual like Namjoon, but by God was it what you needed right now.  

Namjoon pulled you into a hug, a quick sign of affection, a warm welcome, much like the yellow rose petals were meant to be, before ushering you into your humble abode for the night.

Namjoon really thought of everything. He handed you a hot chocolate, just the way you taught him to make them. The warmth of the mug radiated through from your hands and throughout the rest of your body, it relaxing you more than any vintage red could.

The comfy cove was illuminated by scented candles and fairy lights, offering a twinkle and a glow that would make the night’s stars jealous.

You were broken out of your reverie as Namjoon spoke up, “I’m sorry that you stepped on the petals, yellow rose petals represent joy, warmth and welcome.” You turned to him shaking his head, “I was hoping to convey my feelings but I should have thought about the practicality of a petal path.”

You were about to say it was fine but Namjoon beat you to it, “I do, however, hope this makes up for it”. He reached behind himself to hand you a beautiful bouquet of flowers, full of an array of calming colours. The purple of the Delphinium beautifully complimented some Yellow roses, White heather tying in the transition of the three flowers. Some Queen Anne’s Lace, added another touch of white, that bled into some Green roses, all circling the centre piece, one lone sky blue Hydrangea. They were beautiful.

Namjoon encouraged you to sit down beside him, his voice drawing your gaze back up to him. “The Delphinium at first represented the light, spontaneous mood I was in today,” one of his hands cupped yours before continuing, “but it has a double meaning, it also represents my fervent love for you.” Namjoon smiled softly, his eyes shining. “The Yellow roses I have already explained, for the most part.” Your eyes shared that special glint, waiting for his elaboration, “ But they are also symbols of friendship and caring for someone; two things I considered extremely important in our relationship.”

Namjoon encouraged you to lay back as he moved onto another flower, “White heather symbolizes protection and indicates that wishes will come true. it symbolises my wish to protect you from all the evils of this world and the hardships that come with being with someone like me.”

Namjoon placed a blanket over your lap before he held your gaze again, “Queen Anne’s Lace symbolizes a haven or sanctuary. You and your love is my sanctuary, as I hope mine is for you.” He paused to allow you to piece together the meanings before adding, ��It also signifies complexity and delicateness. I know loving me, loving an idol isn’t easy, it’s hard work.” Namjoon paused and sighed, the weight of previous hardships causing momentary guilt to arise. “Sometimes our relationship is very rocky, but just know that the complexities of it make it that much sweeter. Something delicate that I will handle with care.”

You didn’t know what to say but luckily you didn’t, Namjoon was ready to explain the last two choices. “Green is a colour indicative of peace and tranquillity, which is something I hope I have provided with this little fort and moreover in everyday life.” He gave your hand a squeeze before continuing “The Green roses also represent my best wishes for a prosperous new life I wish us to lead together and for your good health.”

“And the Hydrangea?” Namjoon smile grew wider, glad that you were anticipating his final message.

“A Hydrangea symbolizes heartfelt emotions, in this case, my heartfelt emotions for you, Jagi.” He paused one final time before continuing, “It can be used to express gratitude for being understood. You understand me, as Namjoon, the human being, not the idol that everyone looks up to. I needed that in my life and I’m grateful for it, for you.”

You nearly broke down in tears. Namjoon’s heartfelt romantic gesture almost too much to handle but you managed to keep composed, to respond.

You picked out the Hydrangea and rested it behind Namjoon’s ear. “Thank you Babe.Thank you for understanding when I have a bad day and unwittingly making it better.”

Namjoon left you to put the flowers in a vase, afraid his clumsy nature will ruin his gesture, keeping the fort warm and cosy for cuddles when you got back.

________________________________________________________________

Side note

Meaning behind the flowers in the bouquet:

Delphinium, Hybrid symbolizes big-heartedness, fun, lightness and levity. It also indicates ardent attachment.

White heather symbolizes protection and indicates that wishes will come true.

Hydrangea symbolizes heartfelt emotions. It can be used to express gratitude for being understood.

Queen Anne’s Lace symbolizes a haven or sanctuary. It signifies complexity and delicateness.

Yellow Roses: Yellow roses are an expression of exuberance. Yellow roses evoke sunny feelings of joy, warmth and welcome. They are symbols of friendship and caring. (Whilst the yellow rose, unlike the other roses, does not carry an undertone of romance and can indicate purely platonic emotions, Namjoon is romantically involved with y/n and wants to send them feelings of joy, warmth and welcome.)

Green roses: Whilst, green is the colour of harmony, of opulence, of fertility, It is also a colour indicative of peace and tranquillity (which is what Namjoon wishes for y/n). Green roses (these are off-white roses with shades of green) can symbolize best wishes for a prosperous new life or wishes for recovery of good health

These meaning where taken from:

https://www.theflowerexpert.com/content/aboutflowers/flower-meanings

https://www.theflowerexpert.com/content/aboutflowers/flowermeanings/rose-flower-meanings

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I hope you enjoyed this piece.

Until the next I write,

Bambi x

[ismael37olson]

I've Been a Sinner, I've Been a Scamp

A lot of musical theatre fans love Anything Goes, but consider it a guilty pleasure, the artsy equivalent of Mississippi mud cake, just a mindless, old-fashioned musical comedy confection. They register great surprise when I describe it as a sharp satire. But it is. Musical comedy had dealt in gentle social satire since the beginning, but Anything Goes was the first successful Broadway musical comedy to build its story on two parallel threads of fierce, pointed satire. This time the plot came out of the satirical agenda, rather than the satire being just a fun side joke. I've written a lot about the neo musical comedy, which emerged in the 1990s as one of the dominant musical theatre forms. A neo musical comedy involves the devices and conventions -- and usually the full-out joy -- of old-fashioned musical comedy, but with a more socio-political, more ironic, and often more subversive point of view. Think of Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson, Bat Boy, Urinetown, Heathers, Something Rotten, The Scottsboro Boys, Cry-Baby; but there were a few examples even earlier, like Little Shop of Horrors in 1982, The Cradle Will Rock in 1937, and really, The Threepenny Opera in 1928. And arguably, Anything Goes in 1934. Anything Goes was a dead-on satirical chronicle of That Moment... which also happen to be This Moment. Maybe we're just too used to Anything Goes at this point, to see it as it once was. But this is a show that includes a mock religious hymn to a (supposed) murderer, skeet shooting with a machine gun, a love song that mentions snorting coke, and a parody religious revival meeting featuring a song with a slyly sexual hook line. If you doubt the double entendre of "Blow Gabriel, Blow," this is the same songwriter who wrote in the title song, "If love affairs you like with young bears you like..." That meant then what it means today. And notice in the scene leading up to the song, most of the confessions are sexual. Reno is presented as an explicitly sexual presence from the beginning, so her spot as lead singer / evangelist, and with her randy angels as back-up, it's hard not to read the song as sexual double entendre.

In comic counterpoint to that, the language of the "Blow, Gabriel" lyric is Religious Symbolism as a Second Language. This is an amateur, or more to the point, a religious outsider, leading this revival meeting -- with the help of the fake-minister "Dr. Moon." It's obvious neither of them are really believers, and that doesn't seem to bother the crowd a bit. And by the way, why do we want Gabriel to blow his horn? The Bible says that "an archangel with the trumpet of God" will announce the Second Coming, and people have assumed that's Gabriel, particularly since Milton made that connection in Paradise Lost. During the Depression, many American believed that they were living through the "great tribulation, such as has not been from the beginning of the world until now, no, and never will be." (Matthew 24:21) So riffing on that, Reno and her angels (I think we're supposed to assume this is one of their regular numbers) pray for the archangel to signal the end of the tribulations (Prohibition, the Depression) and announce with his trumpet the coming of Christ. Reno assures Gabriel she's ready to "trim [her] lamp," a Bible metaphor meaning she'll work at and maintain her faith (to keep oil lamps burning brightly and consistently, you have to trim the wick back), that she's mended her ways (we can only guess what those ways included), that now, "I'm good by day and I'm good by night." Of course, that line assumes that Reno hasn't always been "good by night." But these "sinners" aren't asking for forgiveness or anything; they just want to "play all day in the Promised Land." It's a remarkably crass take on the Book of Revelation's thousand years of peace and righteousness. And all this to jazz music, until recently considered the devil's music... In one section, they all chant:

Satan, you stay away from me, 'Cause you ain't the man I wanna see! I'm gonna be good as the day I was born, 'Cause I heard that man with the horn! Do ya hear it?

Once you really pay attention to this lyric, you realize this section is all about the End Times. They want to be good, because Jesus and Judgment Day are coming soon! One of the more subtle jokes in the show is in this song, when the women take the melody and the men sing "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" in counterpart, also a song about angels taking "me" to heaven. Since this is the male passengers and crew singing this counter-melody, are we to read that as spontaneous, that religious fervor is taking them over? Since this is always a big, involved, full-company, Broadway musical comedy dance number, it lays on top of our fake revival meeting an even more cynical layer of comment -- religion really is show business. But there's even more swimming around in Anything Goes. When the show opened in late 1934, Prohibition had ended just a year earlier, but the Depression rolled on, and the Dust Bowl kept destroying lives. The FBI was at the height of its notoriety, but the public loved some of the gangsters on the FBI's Most Wanted list (which is the whole point of "Public Enemy Number One"). Importantly, the FBI -- standing in for law and order in general -- is not on board the S.S. American. In fact, they arrest the wrong guy at the beginning of the show, and leave the ship! They're not up to the job. They can't/won't protect us. Was this a comment on how hard it was for law enforcement to catch America's celebrity criminals, John Dillinger, Baby Face Nelson, Bonnie & Clyde, et al.?

Here on the S.S. American, we are in Shakespeare's metaphorical woods, away from laws and civilization, where two things will happen. First, love will get "fixed" as our characters de-couple from the wrong partners and re-couple with the right partners. Second, with lots of liquor and very little "law," these passengers are free to act on their impulses, to chase after various forms of vice, to be their "natural" selves. And notice that the ship is called the "American" -- this place of no rules and no law is 1930s America, where (until a year earlier) lots of Americans broke the law by drinking alcohol. When that many Americans broke the law, when they stopped believing in the institutions that failed them, America became functionally lawless. By calling the ship the S.S. American, the show's writers were underlining their social commentary. As a comic microcosm of our country, these passengers showcase the worst of the American inclination to make celebrities out of criminals and show biz out of religion, an inclination as prevalent today as it was in the thirties. But the satiric aim is more pointed than just those two overarching themes. So what else does Anything Goes satirize? A lot. Even though economists will tell you the 1929 stock market crash did not "cause" the Depression, it was still the starting pistol, and most people in 1934 believed rich Wall Street types were to blame. Notice that in Anything Goes we have two representatives of Wall Street -- the drunken, horny, nearly blind Mr. Whitney, and the shit-disturbing rogue Billy Crocker. The name Crocker comes from the French for "heartbreak." In this story Wall Street is decidedly undependable.

Richard Whitney had been the very famous president of the New York Stock Exchange and during the 1930s, he was famed for steering his clients through the treacherous waters of the Depression. But his success was a scam of the proportions of Enron and Bernie Madoff, and he was finally caught in 1938 when his firm collapsed. Still, as audiences watched Anything Goes in 1934, Whitney was the hero of the rich, so naming Billy's boss Whitney -- and making him a drunk -- was a pretty subversive reference. According to Wikipedia:

On October 24, 1929, Black Thursday, Whitney attempted to avert the Wall Street Crash of 1929. Alarmed by rapidly falling stock prices, several leading Wall Street bankers met to find a solution to the panic and chaos on the trading floor of the New York Stock Exchange. The meeting included Thomas W. Lamont, acting head of Morgan Bank; Albert Wiggin, head of the Chase National Bank; and Charles E. Mitchell, president of the National City Bank of New York. They chose Whitney, then vice president of the Exchange, to act on their behalf.  With the bankers' financial resources behind him, Whitney went onto the floor of the Exchange and ostentatiously placed a bid to purchase a large block of shares in U.S. Steel at a price well above the current market. As traders watched, Whitney then placed similar bids on other "blue chip" stocks. This tactic was similar to a tactic that had ended the Panic of 1907, and succeeded in halting the slide that day. The Dow Jones Industrial Average recovered with a slight increase, closing with it down only 6.38 points for that day. In this case, however, the respite was only temporary; stocks subsequently collapsed catastrophically on Black Tuesday, October 29. Whitney's actions gained him the sobriquet, "White Knight of Wall Street."

It is a little weird that Mr. Whitney's first name is Elijah, coincidentally (?) named after the nineteenth-century inventor and arms manufacturer... The Harcourts (and Mrs. Wentworth, in the '34 version) stand in for America's "cafe society," the 1% of 1934. In the original version of the show, the Harcourts' family business was in serious trouble and needed saving, which was the reason for the arranged marriage. Is it any wonder Billy and Hope both would like to escape this culture? According to an article on the PBS website:

The Great Depression was partly caused by the great inequality between the rich who accounted for a third of all wealth and the poor who had no savings at all. As the economy worsened many lost their fortunes, and some members of high society were forced to curb their extravagant lifestyles. But for others the Depression was simply an inconvenience especially in New York where the city’s glamorous venues – places to see and be seen – such as El Morocco and The Stork Club were heaving with celebrities, socialites and aristocrats. For the vast majority the 1930s was a time of misery. But for many American dynastic families, parties helped to escape the reality on the street and the grander the better.

Parties and trans-Atlantic cruises. Many stories of the Great Depression show us the shattered and disenfranchised turning to religion in their time of need. But church attendance grew during the Depression only about five percent. Notably, no one aboard the S.S. American in Anything Goes has that spiritual need, and so for these people religion becomes show business, entertainment, the latest fad. Though the content of "Blow, Gabriel, Blow" is basically reverent, the song's rowdy, fast, jazz music quickly and comically short-circuits any hint of real religion fervor. This is religion as party. The only genuine symbol of religion we see in the show is the comically clueless Bishop Dobson, who's banished from this community (i.e.,mistakenly arrested) before the ship even sets sail; and all we're left with is the fake religion of fake-minister "Dr." Moon, and the gambling "Christian converts." Genuine religion (and conventional morality), the Baptist tent revivals and religious radio shows of the 1930s, are all missing from this place. Here there is no moral control -- it's Shakespeare's woods. In the 1930s, the 1960s, and also today, Dark Times bring forth the most pointed satire. Anything Goes opened halfway through the Depression, which also begat brilliant satires like Of Thee I Sing, Let 'Em Eat Cake, and The Cradle Will Rock.. The 1962 revival opened at the start of one of the most divided, angry decades in American history. The 1987 revival opened on the infamous Black Monday, the day the stock market crashed again. None of the show's targets feel dated, because we're struggling with all the same things now. Still today, religion is often repackaged as slick, high-budget show biz. When America's evangelicals strongly support the womanizing vulgarian and sexual predator Donald Trump, religion in America is on life support. And still today, we make celebrities out of criminals, and depending where the various investigations lead, Trump may be the best illustration of that too. Cole Porter's songs have all the bite, the sophistication, and the smartass humor of Ira Gershwin and Yip Harburg, but Porter's songs often bite a little harder, his lyrics closer to how people talk, instead of always just building toward a funny rhyme. Like those of the great George M. Cohan, Porter's lyrics sound like they could actually come out of the mouths of the characters. If his songs can often be transplanted from one show to another, that's only because many of his shows were about the same kind of people -- smartass, subversive, sexual, clever, ironic, complicated, and contradictory. Just think for a second about all the characters in Anything Goes that have contradictory impulses. Porter wrote both in contemporary slang and in genuinely elevated, powerfully poetic language when the moment called for it. His songs can be emotionally shattering and they can be icily cynical, about the most intimate insecurities or the most macro satire. Porter and his co-writers were writing old-school musical comedy, but they were also chronicling our times -- then and now -- most insightfully. It's so much fun working on this rich, crazy material. Long Live the Musical! Scott from The Bad Boy of Musical Theatre http://newlinetheatre.blogspot.com/2018/01/ive-been-sinner-ive-been-scamp.html