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I found out I was just bloated due to my period. Thank goodness, I thought I was getting fat. Which is ironic that I think so because I haven’t gained any weight. Only maintained or lost.

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After I hit like the 35 hour mark into my fast I cant think. Especially after 45 to 50 hours, Im gone. My brain gets so foggy I cant think.

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Why have I gone down 8 pounds but still look the same, like as if I lost nothing at all. I know my body looked different and better at this weight too. I think my fat just got distributed in different places than the last time I was at this weight. Im lowkey a junkorexic so If I lay off processed/artificials and definitely sugar I think I’ll be okay again. Gotta keep up with drinking my water too, 100%.

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Note to self! Literally nothing in my house can be easy access food anymore. Only stuff that takes time to put together.

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(if you scroll down a little on my page you’ll know what I’m talking about. Also I have images of the specific foods and their nutrition labels listed there too.)

Anyways! I want to explain my grocery list a little bit. So on that post all of the foods are quick grab and go items or things that just need to be microwaved. My reasoning for that is because I often find myself binging on easy access foods and I feel like others are the same way too.

So my unhealthy foods, if I have any—are things you have to fix in some type of way. Then my healthy low calorie items are all quick and easy pick ups. Or just most of them are at least, I like to have a variety.

Like I honestly don’t think I’m gonna sit here for an hour making a cake just to binge on it. I’ll get over the craving by then. May come back to it laterrr but as of right now its the least of my worries.

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Am I the only one that thinks meanspo doesn’t work? Might just be a personal preference but I cant take it seriously.

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If you can’t already tell I’m kind’ve a junkarexic lol. I need to start getting my steps in. (Pizza is Chicken Bacon Ranch with no tomatoes from Dominos and the chips are Doritos Flamas)

January 2, 2025

6:35P.M.

4 chips 50c

Water 24 fl oz

7:55P.M.

2 pizzas slices 600c

Water 24 fl oz

Exercise: 25c

Total c: 650

Total fl oz: 48

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Fear foods:

Dairy, Bread, Salt, Tv Dinners, Totino’s Pizza, Bacon Cheese Burger, Frosting, Uncrustables, McDonald’s Chicken Nuggets, Peanut Butter, Syrup.

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Honestly when starving works I feel so numb. Though there are certain times where Its euphoric, this is just super draining. Eating disorders are genuinely so addicting.

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So I ended up going completely off track from what I planned to eat today. Then went over my Calorie goal, honestly have no excuse. Also PLEASE ignore my steps for the day 😭. I literally stayed in bed all day. (App is MyNetDiary btw.)

Also I realized that I had put 2024 as the year for my meal planning post. Don’t go look at it now lol it’s already changed. Unless I forget.. But yeah, don’t pick on me for my calorie counting it may not be 100% accurate I’m not sure. I used a food scale, google, and some apps to help me out. We learn as we go!

January 1, 2025

12:05P.M.

Scrambled Eggs 76c

Pancake 172c

Maple Syrup 110c

Water 24 fl oz

9:20P.M.

Mashed potatoes 99c

Asparagus 20c

Steak 243c

Water 24 fl oz

Total c: 720

Total fl oz: 48

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Gonna be using this for January feel free to use them too. (Photos are from Pinterest)

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I haven’t purged in a while but I honestly might go back to doing that. The only thing thats stopped me for this long is how fat I felt because my face would get SO swollen. I never wanna see my highest weight on the scale ever again, nor do I wanna look and feel that fat. Need to get one of those Gua Sha’s or something if I’m gonna start purging. Gaining weight or being badly bloated genuinely terrifies me.

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Meal planning to start off 2025 on a good note. (Ignore the ridiculous timing for each meal and the food choices.)

January 1, 2025

3:00P.M.

Oatmeal 160c

38 crackers 120c

Water 24 floz

7:00P.M.

Apple sauce 1/2 cup 50c

Green beans 70c

Water 24 fl oz

10:00P.M.

Chicken noodle soup 260c

Pickle slice(s) 0c

Water 24 fl oz

Total c: 660

Total fl oz: 72

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Grocery list with images+nutrition labels! (3/3)

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Grocery list with images+nutrition labels! (2/3)

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Grocery list with images+nutrition label! (1/3)

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I believe every girl with any eating disorder has come acrossed some variation of this image at least once in their life.