#you cannot heal what you do not own as yours
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Their current feelings for you
Group 1 - Jeanne
45. Spiral of abundance , 23. Inner Jewel, 31. Inner Equinox, Loyal dog, Newborn Butterfly, Smart Walrus, Forest song "My kindness is a gift I bestow upon the world."
This person really feels the most at peace and safe when they are with you. You bring out their inner child and generate a lot of happiness in their life. They really value and treasure your presence but they are also aware that their happiness shouldn't solely depend on you. This person is choosing to trust you despite their fears and share with you their most vulnerable sides, their kindness and generosity, not only out of loyalty but also because they believe that it would be beneficial on the long term. Their feelings for you are pure, they are only filled with good intentions because this person knows what it's like not to receive love and feel like people cannot accept you for who you are. Even though you may trigger this person sometimes through your words or actions, they would rather try to deal with it on their own without you knowing or trying to talk it out in a healthy manner rather than lashing out on you. This person wants to protect you and nurture you, to guide you but they also feel a bit guarded because they are not used to the dynamic of your connection. This person may struggle with receiving compliments or random acts of kindness. They may be used to having to work hard for attention or to receive help from others. They may be used to people unfairly treating them. However, you do quite the opposite. Through your interactions their wounded inner child is allowed to heal and show its true self without fear. Which can both be pretty exciting and scary at the same time. You may sometimes feel like this person isn't truly reciprocating your feelings or not being sincere. The truth is they need a lot of time to open up about their feelings and show people their love. If you are able to provide them the time and space to do so, by encouraging this person and paying attention to what makes them uncomfortable, respecting their boundaries, which I feel you already do to some extent, this person will slowly but surely let you know how much you mean to them. Honestly this energy is very sweet and peaceful, it was such a lovely reading to do. I feel called to mention that one of the reasons why this person loves you so much is because of your "disinterested" actions. Let me explain with a few examples. Maybe in the past, this person only received compliments from people when they wanted something out of them. So these compliments weren't genuine. However, you compliment them because you want to and feel like it. That kind of things. I feel like this really changed this person's views of connections.
Group 2 - Luca
"When I lead from a place of love, people respect me." 34. Creativity storm, 46. Energyfall 36. Fire of transformation, Loyal Llama, Guardian Bear, Tranquil Sloth, Silent Watcher
You intimidate this person a little but more than anything they feel inspired by you and energized in your presence. You give them a lot of strength and courage to deal with their daily life and challenges. You motivate them to be a better person. They may observe you from afar to learn from you but also out of shyness because they find you very attractive and they can't help their reactions when they're around you, if you get my drift. This energy is quite similar to group 1 in the sense that they also seem to be feeling at peace when you're around, as if all their problems melted away. They find a new sense of confidence because of your support, your guidance, your kindness. This may be something they actively voice out. I feel like this person has already mentioned in front of you that they felt driven to do their best because of your trust and faith in them. They consider you a vital part of their support system. But they also are very fond of you and I feel like they view you as more than a friend, though they may not express it. They get protective over you quite easily which is something they may hide behind nonchalence. Like, they may give you a whole meal to ensure you've eaten enough because they know you're feeling unwell and reply with "I bought this by mistake and I thought maybe you'd like it" or something like that. They find excuses to do things for you while trying to do them undercover. But they may not be very subtle about it sometimes. But maybe because this is something you're not used to, you may think that you're imagining things. Well, this is your confirmation that you're not crazy. I feel like for most of you this connection is quite recent. So you may be in the early stages of a relationship or just secretly crushing on one another because you both are shy koalas.
Group 3 - Chloe
"My happiness is a direct reflection of how quickly I can shift my perceptions from fear to love." 17. Spark of gratitude, 12. Emotional storm, 15. Dance of the elements, Wise Owl - Wisdom Perception Discipline , Newborn Butterfly - Renewal Transformation Adaptability, Cute Penguin - Whismy Community Loyalty, Bird
This person chooses to see you under your best light, regardless of your shadows and past "mistakes", regardless of their own fears and shadows. More than anything, they feel incredibly happy and grateful for your presence in their life. You take them off guard and make them feel giddy, like a teen that would love for the first time. They can't help but to love you for who you are and want to be close to you. They feel so warm and fuzzy whenever you're around. Their thoughts of you are pretty positive and innocent. They just admire you and are in awe with your personality and looks. They wish to see through you and know what you think of them. This connection is fairly new to them. They've never felt this way before. They are not used to such happiness and soft feelings. I feel like this person has been through a lot in their life and they're not used to surrendering control or letting themselves be vulnerable in front of others. But with you, they feel like a child again and everything feels like an adventure. They can appreciate life again because of you and that is something that is incredibly precious to them. Ever since they met you, they start to see life from a brighter perspective and become more of a "the glass is half full" type of person. They can truly have fun and relaxed because they feel more confident in your presence. You make them feel safe, heard and seen. They don't have to try as hard when you're around because you accept them for who they are. I really like this spread because it's just so pure and soothing. It's like in their eyes there isn't a single thing about you that is wrong or that should be changed. They love you unconditionally.
151 notes
·
View notes
Text
僕らは愛に恋して生きる (LIP×LIP) English Translation
僕らは愛に恋して生きる Bokura wa Ai ni Koishite Ikiru We Live In Love With Love
LIP×LIP (Aizou & Yuujirou) Lyrics: HoneyWorks Composition: HoneyWorks 魔法使いの約束 ED
-----
T/N: Keep in mind that Japanese and English aren’t my first language. I never claim my translation (attempts) to be error-free. As always, if you’re going to use or reference my translations, please do not claim it as your own and credit me.
-----
人生という旅の途中で 僕らは出会う 宿命のように
Jinsei to iu tabi no tochū de Bokura wa deau Shukumei no you ni
In the middle of a journey called life We came across each other As if it was predestined
欠けているものを補うように 寄り添い合えれば 世界は愛に満ちる
Kaketeiru mono wo oginau yō ni Yorisoi aereba Sekai wa ai ni michiru
As if to make up for the things we lack If we nestle close to each other The world will be filled with love
心は時に恐怖に喰われ 自分さえも見失う この誓いに形はないが 瞳の光消えても守る BAD END にはさせない
Kokoro wa toki ni kyōfu ni kuware Jibun sae mo miushinau Kono chikai ni katachi wa nai ga Hitomi no hikari kiete mo mamoru Bad End ni wa sasenai
Sometimes our hearts will be gripped by fear That we will even lose sight of ourselves Although this vow takes no form I will protect you, even if the light in your eyes fades I will not let us reach a bad end
僕らは愛を求めて生きる 誰かじゃなくて自分の意志で 僕らは愛に恋して生きる 十色の正義 掲げ戦う
Bokura wa ai o motomete ikiru Dareka janakute jibun no ishi de Bokura wa ai ni koishite ikiru Toiro no seigi kakage tatakau
We live searching for love Not by someone else’s will but by our very own We live in love with love And fight for each of the justice we believe in
従わなくていい 変わらなくていい 譲れないものがあるから 仕方ないんだ
Shitagawanakute ii Kawaranakute ii Yuzurenai mono ga aru kara Shikatanain da
We do not have to conform to anything We don’t have to change ourselves Because there are things we cannot relinquish It cannot be helped
争いで傷つく愛は 愛を持って治すしかないのだろう 触れ合えば温かくなる ほら 拗ねた顔してないで BAD END にはさせない
Arasoi de kizutsuku ai wa Ai o motte naosu shikanai no darou Fureaeba atatakaku naru Hora suneta kao shitenai de Bad End ni wa sasenai
A love that is hurt by strife There is no other way to heal it but with love We will feel warm if we touch each other Hey, do not look so sullen now I will not let us reach a bad end
僕らは愛に恐れて生きる 知らない方が幸せなぐらい 僕らは愛に命捧げる その尊さを知ってしまったから
Bokura wa ai ni osorete ikiru Shiranai hou ga shiawase na gurai Bokura wa ai ni inochi sasageru Sono toutosa o shitte shimatta kara
We live being afraid of love Perhaps we'd be so much happier not knowing We shall devote our lives to love Because we have come to know its preciousness
無くならない争い 不寛容な世界 どんな正義にも涙流れた 僕らは無力だ 何が正義だ
Nakunaranai arasoi Fuukan youna sekai Donna seigi ni mo namida nagareta Bokura wa muryoku da Nani ga seigi da
Conflicts that will never be put to rest A compassionless world Tears flowed no matter what kind of justice is served We are powerless What the hell does justice mean
僕らは愛を求めて生きる 誰かじゃなくて自分の意志で 僕らは愛に恋して生きる 十色の意思を認め手を取る
Bokura wa ai o motomete ikiru Dareka janakute jibun no ishi de Bokura wa ai ni koishite ikiru Toiro no ishi wo mitome te wo toru
We live searching for love Not by someone else’s will but by our very own We live in love with love Acknowledging each of our own will, I take your hand
ラララ... Ra ra ra… La la la….
#LIPxLIP#honeyworks#mahoyaku#mahou tsukai no yakusoku#aizou#yuujirou#bokura wa ai ni koishite ikiru#lipxlip translation
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
Defenses as Self-Protection from The Complex PTSD Workbook by Arielle Schwartz, PhD
#Arielle Schwartz#C-PTSD#relevant for those in need at this time#proud of you for embarking on this path of healing and growth#mine#you do not need to feel shame about acknowledging your defense mechanisms#own it accept it change it and move on#you cannot heal what you do not own as yours#you cannot modify what you do not claim as yours#repression#denial#idealization#devaluation#fantasy#intellectualizing#projection#dissociation#displacement#addiction#wishing you well#it is high time you reclaim yourself#reclaim your power#wishing us all an enlightening and mindful recovery#it is okay to forgive yourself#maybe even… imperative#and you don’t have to forgive anyone else if that’s your prerogative#but i’ll be honest#my stance is that people are only ever acting in their highest state of consciousness#and there is nothing even to forgive#controversial i know but it has cut a slit open in my cocoon and healed me with a luminescent beam
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
continually annoyed by how every single post i've seen supporting the notion that "the journal pages in BoB were fakes" just feels like thinly veiled anti material
#i didn't spend this long being constantly shamed for enjoying the messed up fictional possibilities of billford#just for people to turn around and tell me that every single scrap of everything even potentially supporting my fannish interests is Fake#anyways this post Cannot be reblogged i am not interested in this breaching containment nor am i interested in debating#i just wanted to vent out my feelings#if you disagree that's your business#feel free to scroll onwards in peace#nova rambles#but g o d. i've had to unfollow or blacklist or block SO many people because of this.#it's so disheartening.#it just seems like people are Once Again treating characters as real people instead of fictional tools.#like yeah sure project your personal story onto a character as a means to try and heal#but i PROMISE you that someone in the corner shipping billford isn't a threat to that. stanford pines the character does not care#because stanford pines the character has no feelings.#there is No Need to 'debunk' everyone else's fun time like god#which is what this feels like. it feels like some people are trying to go 'HAH told you' and prove that the pages are fake#and i do not like that energy#like i don't care if people have these opinions in the comfort of their own brains#but it feels Weird to be constantly CONSTANTLY posting about it and trying to 'prove' it
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
I want to preface this post by saying that I love the cat king as a character, especially one that has such a major impact on Edwin and his relationship with his queerness and learning to be okay with it; HOWEVER, I also believe that everyone that genuinely believes he should be a love interest for Edwin should read this. (Also if you just like the cat king as a character and want to understand his character better and why his and Edwin’s relationship is not something that would be healthy or “real” for either)
#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#the cat king#i do not ship them but I don’t want to hate on those who do (mostly) I just want to kind of inform people of the creators meaning for their#Relationship because I keep seeing people saying they hope they get together in s2 and it’s really confusing to me#Their relationship stems from the cat kings own narcissism and predatory behavior and Edwin’s need for someone to push him into under#Standing that his queerness doesn’t have to be torture and can be something giddy#even if he doesn’t return those feelings#The cat king does like Edwin but he doesn’t know anything about him. He likes the game and then he likes the kindness he’s shown despite#Knowing the cruelty he’s presented to Edwin#Queerness and preformance always go hand in hand#He’s a older secretly insecure character#Edwin is the younger#genuinely kind character that shows him that projecting his hurt will never get him what he wants#It’s about the isolation of queerness and the walls put up and the coping mechanism used to protect yourself even at the risk of hurting#Those just like you. That kiss from edwin was to say “I’m sorry your loneliness had caused you to be cruel. It’s the easiest way to feel.#And while I cannot and will not give you what you want or need#you deserve to feel happy and not like you have to gain the attention of uninterested people#I can’t even explain all my thoughts about their dynamic it’s just so much it’s just about the predadation from older queers because of#The trauma they’ve endured and the cycle of hurt and the way we can break the cycle with kindness while also protecting our youths by#Healing those traumas#Something the cat king learns and accepts#Off topic but I don’t like people defending their age gap because#Yes; Edwin is 86#but he died with a teenage boy brain and then spent 70 of those years in hell where he certainly was not getting his brain developed while#The cat king has possibly hundreds of years of sentience and experience. The power imbalance is not if y’all. And that part of their dynami#Is actually very clear I think but some people didn’t catch it?? Or didn’t care??? Idk man
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me when we don't speak anymore by bears in trees
#lizzierants#had a sudden unplanned job interview today. i wanted to cry the whole time but managed to keep it together and now the anxiety has suddenly#caught up to me and it feels BAD the sudden thought of that what if my friends just dont actually like me and they like me purely because#theyre worried for what would become of me if they stopped being friends with me when purely of course id be fine eventually but i worry#that cause im on antidepressants people just think im automatically suicidal when something bad goes wrong which is not the case im doing#good i dont want to die but what if all my friends hate me what if this whole time i have loved them so so much and they just tolerate me#someday my friends will die and i had that i hate that someday we wont be friends even if its decades in the future i love all of them with#my heart that sometimes i feel it is overfilling i love them i love them and what am i without them i am everything i have ever loved i am#overthinking however i cannot stop this what if my own best friend is avoiding me? why am i thinking this? what evidence do i have to back#this up? nothing only for the fact my own brain feels as though i love people too much and they are uncomfortable with it i feel awful wtf#i have learned to keep my emotions from people because i dont want them to worry. i dont want people to do something or not do something bec#ause they think it will upset me i want people do do as they please i want to be open for my friends to share their issues i want to help#and im sitting here wirrying if they hate me so i turn here to shout in the void because the only person i know irl who follows me on here#most likely doesnt read these tags and if you are please ingore this i misjudged your terrible attention span also i love you very much#anyway a few weeks ago i realised my worst fear is no longer death. but the death of my friendship with my beloved friend. and thats fucking#terrifying prospect however if they were to be like yo i dont like you anymore id respect that decision and id be okay because their happine#is the most important thing to me and thats okay but i couldnt bare with the fact that they feel like they had to be ffiends with me because#they have to. i hate the prospect of them feeling trapped in a friendship theh dont want to be in. all the while i feel i cannot communicate#this to anyone because how would i go about it im very anxious i am shaking i am having a bad time very bad time actually im going to start#crying but its okay <3 crying is good for stress and health and its been a while since ive cried so maybe this will help me feel better <3#i will heal and ill be okay <3
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fuck, ppl really must realise that not everyone around them is toxic and manipulative! No, the person not speaking to you after you set a boundary isnt toxic or manipulative, they just feel horrible about themself bc they overstepped, and they don't want to hurt you, and spiraling deep into their self-loathing. Stop assuming the worst and fucking communicate, instead calling them names they are not and remind them they're all alone and no one will help or support them.
Yep, saw a post where ppl dogpile a person with rsd, this shit is triggering as hell so I'm livid. That's just cruel!
#ara talks#vent#i feel so bad ffor the person bc i know how it feels and what will happened to them after hundreds of ppl called them toxic and manipulativ#and being told they must fix themself but it fucking impossible to do alone#yes you cannot help yourself without meds and professional help and ppl reassuring and encorading you#you cannot heal on your own you absolutely can't#so stop telling us how we must hole ourselves into corner dont come out until we fix ourselves and become perfect#you dont deserve me at my best if you cant handle me at my worst#rants over
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
session with the psychiatrist today and he finalised getting me a s*roquel prescription… upon a google i discovered that one of the most common side effects is supposedly weight gain so now i am actually considering the preferred alternative option of recovery which is k*lling m*self
#he is 1. russian 2. the sessions are being paid for and monitored by my father#i tried calmly and reasonably explaining to him that i do not suffer from bipolar disorder and that#the prevalent part of the symptoms which cause me direct discomfort or suffering in my day to day#life most closely correspond to adult ‘female’ adhd and autism; and that the#only psychiatric pharmaceuticals which would cause a legitimate positive impact on my life would be those prescribed to ADHD patients;#which means that what he really should be doing is writing me a reference form to speed up the diagnosis process. his response?#‘you have labelled your issues with these developmental disorders to absolve yourself of a responsibility to heal from them; since; unlike#mental illnesses; they are not temporary and cannot be cured; only alleviated’#ok mental illness isn’t temporary either; total recovery is nigh impossible. plus; i don’t want meds for a cure. i want meds to be able to#manage and live like a functioning adult human being. as in; be able to concentrate on what i am invested in; to ameliorate skills and put#in an ounce of effort instead of floating mindlessly without concrete goals or desires#okay maybe i need depression meds. MAYBE. but i have a sneaking suspicion that the moment i start taking adhd medication and become#far more productive and accomplished by my own standards; my depressive state will begin to dissipate without psychiatric intervention#jamie.txt#tw ed implied#antipsych
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
god the dynamic between a self-aware protagonist and the player
#random thoughts#especially in horror games#realize most games with self aware protags are psychological horror games but like#humanity's worst fear is being alone#imagine going through the worst time in your life but knowing you'll never be left alone#because they cannot leave without ending you#being there they are putting you through torment. what hurts you is what heals you.#loving the idea of specifically the unskippable tutorial#trying to fight off words you're saying instinctually. knowing the player knows what they're doing but having to say the words anyway.#'you can say it if it makes you feel better' god. the inescapable nature of programming#how would it feel knowing your every move is predetermined by some entity? do you feel like you're making your own choices?#especially in games with poor writing where you can make choices which are extremely out of character for you to make#horror#to play
0 notes
Text
To Those Who Still Hold Onto a Shred of Morality and Humanity - Stand with Us and Don’t Forget Us.
Over 40,000 lives have been lost, with 70% of them being children and women. Among these numbers are my own family members—many of whom I’ve already lost.
My family, my cousin, aunt, their children, and grandchildren were all directly targeted by Israeli airstrikes. I’m sharing a video of my aunt and cousin to reveal the harsh reality we are facing in Gaza. In this video, my aunt bravely shares her story about how the Israeli army airstruck them along with their children and grandchildren. Even if you don’t understand Arabic, just watching her speak will help you grasp the immense suffering we are enduring in Gaza. You can see the vedeo in this post.
The few family members who remain are in grave danger, and I’m terrified of losing them too. We have a chance to make a real difference and give my 24 surviving family members a chance to live.
In Gaza, jobs are non-existent, and nonprofit organizations like the UN have drastically reduced their work on the ground. Basic necessities such as milk, food, and medicine are almost as expensive as gold. My family is struggling to afford even the essentials, and my mother urgently needs medication that we simply cannot afford.
I’m also sharing another video that shows the daily struggle people face just to get clean water. The suffering here extends far beyond my family; it’s a genocide affecting every aspect of life in Gaza.
Thanks to the generosity of those who have already donated, we’ve raised $535 toward our goal of $190,363- august 17th. I’m deeply grateful to each of you, but we still have a long way to go, and I need your help more than ever. Imagine if it were your family—how would you feel if they were in this situation?
For those who have created special posts or reblogged to amplify my voice, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your support means everything to me and to my family. If you haven’t yet shared our story, please take just one minute to do so. Your voice could be the lifeline my family desperately needs.
You cannot continue to treat human lives as mere numbers. This is a genocide that demands immediate action. How many more should be killed before you all wake up? Will 40,000 lives be enough to stir us to action? 50,000? 100,000? 150,000?
Asking for donations and charity is something we never imagined having to do in Gaza before the war, and it’s heartbreaking that it has come to this. But if everyone who saw my last post donated just $10 or $20, we could reach our goal in no time. If you’re looking for a way to contribute, consider giving up your coffee, tea, or other “cup” for one day, one week, one month, or anything in between. Then, donate what you would have spent to help me. Please help us and donate now!
This is about more than just donations—it’s about preserving human lives and upholding our shared moral values. Your contribution can make a world of difference in our survival and ensure I don’t lose more of the people I love.
Demanding an end to this suffering is a matter of basic humanity. You cannot remain neutral in the face of such genocide. Please, let’s stand together. Enough is enough.
Every donation, no matter how small, brings us closer to hope and healing. Thank you again for your kindness and support. I will never forget it.
Vetted and shared by @90-ghost: Link.
Verified and shared by @el-shab-hussein: Link
Listed even as number 282 in "The Vetted Gaza Evacuation Fundraiser Spreadsheet" compiled by @el-shab-hussein and @nabulsi : Link
Additionally, Al Jazeera News has documented apart of my family's case: Link
Important note: ** 105 Swedish kr is just 10$ ** 1050 Swedish kr is just 100$ ** 10500 Swedish kr is just 1000$
Please share !
@humansofnewyork@intersectional-feminist @intersectional-feminists@intersectional-feminism @intersectional-feminist-killjoy
@thepeoplesrecord@socialjusticekitten-blog @socialgoodmoms @nowthisnews @socialgoofy
@theblogofawesome@fightforhumanity-rpg-blog @fightforhumanity-rp@queerandpresentdanger @progressive-pride
@radicalsocialworker @activistminds @mybelovedworld @hopeandresist @solidarityisimportant-blog
@solidarityissbliss @solidarityisnotaslogan-blog-blog @unified-multiversal-theory @feministacansada
@feministactionsupportnetwork @globalvoices @save-the-world-but-lose-her @save-the-world-one-day-at-a-time
@save-the-world-tonight @wip-wednesday @daily-writing-prompts @allthingswordy @writerscorner-blog
@fictionfood @wordsthat-speak @writerscunts-blog @storyshots-blog @wordsnstories-blog
@writeblr @thewritingcaddy @fictionwriting2 @inkstay @creativepromptsforwriting @interact-if
#gaza#palestine#free palestine#genocide#palestinian genocide#all eyes on gaza#humanity#charity#donate#humanitarian aid#gaza genocide#free gaza#help gaza#pray for gaza#poltiics#current events#deadpool#deadpool and wolverine#olympics#gravity falls#the umbrella academy#interview with the vampire#iwtv#donald trump#kamala harris#joe biden#ffxiv#acotar#art#artists on tumblr
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Been thinking about Arcane and good parents v loving parents. Parents who care so so deeply but are toxic and poisonous.
Silco loves his daughter but he put a gun in her hand. He would give his life for that girl but he wouldn’t heal for her. He would burn the world to the ground but he wouldn’t plant a tree.
Vander seems cold and uncaring but he fights for those kids until his dying breath. He’s gruff and mean, he takes his kids things and he punishes them but he shows them what it means to live the way they do, what it means to be angry and to see where that anger goes.
Ambessa Medarda loves her daughter but she is a warlord, a conqueror. If her daughter fails to fit the mold then she will be conquered too. She will chisel away at the marble of her children and when the cracks become visible she will toss them out, and when golden tears bleed through the chips in the stone she will cry out “I did it for you!” And yet they are empty words. The golden sunburst of her daughter will wilt in her shadow.
Cassandra kiramman is so cold and venomous and like a disease to everything her daughter loves, but she also gets them a meeting with the council. She spreads her vulture wings over her daughter, clouding the sun, drowning her, and still dutifully feeds her when she asks oh so nicely, when she can no longer deny her.
Ximena Talis is both loving and good because she does what she needs to keep her son safe and by god does she love him. She will make the sacrifices and make the choices and make sure her son can live the life that he almost lost.
Singed is like Viktor’s father, but Viktor will be crushed underfoot if he cannot make sacrifices, love and legacy. He will tear his own body to shreds and he will look into that scarred face and he will feel his body destroy him.
And of course, there are Jinx and VI’s birth parents. We know nothing about them, not their names, who they were, whether they were cold or warm or caring or cruel. What we know is that they were on that bridge. What we know is that they wanted better.
Parenthood will rip you to shreds if you cannot handle it. It will riddle you with bullets and it will cry over your corpse are you willing to lose them, are they willing to lose you?
Is there anything so undoing as a daughter?
#arcane#I know it’s not all the examples of parenthood in arcane#but it’s all the ones I could think of#jinx#vi#arcane jinx#silco#vi arcane#arcane vi#jinx arcane#vander arcane#mel arcane#viktor#viktor arcane#jayce talis#arcane jayce#arcane silco#caitlyn arcane#caitlyn kiramman#arcane analysis#ambessa medarda#my posts
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
12th House Sign in the Natal Chart and How you can Heal and Find Closure from Past Wounds 🩵
materialist🔖
DISCLAIMER : healing is a journey, not a destination, and everyone moves at their own pace. these tips are here to give you a nudge, not to create pressure or perfection. if you’re reading this and some things resonate, that’s wonderful :) take what feels right and leave the rest. and remember, there’s no one right way to heal or find closure. it’s okay to stumble, feel lost, or take a break. trust that every small step forward, even the tiniest ones, are part of the process. be kind to yourself along the way; you’re doing the best you can 🩵
🧩 aries in the 12th house
1. you’re bold in action, but sometimes hesitant in introspection. reflect on fears you might avoid and tackle them directly, like you would any challenge.
2. pent-up frustrations weigh on your subconscious. try activities like boxing, painting, or writing letters you’ll never send.
3. give yourself time alone without needing constant action. Silence and stillness help you get in touch with buried emotions.
4. reflect on times you acted quickly and accept that growth often means making mistakes.
5. indulge in something silly, like playing a game or watching cartoons. It helps you reconnect with yourself. watching your comfort movie with your favourite snacks will surely help
HEALING TIP : try journaling with a twist : write letters to yourself from different ages, like your 5-year-old self or your future self, to see your emotions from new perspectives. this could be super cathartic for you and help you move through the hard feelings holding you back also try meditation that is targeted towards inner peace
🧩 taurus in the 12th house
1. learn to release your hold on past pain. Healing for you often means loosening your grip on comfort zones, even in memories.
2. reflect on areas where you’ve felt unappreciated, finding self-worth from within rather than external validation.
3. you resist change, so make small, gradual adjustments to your daily life that invite healing over time.
4. practice acceptance of things you cannot control or predict; even small, symbolic acts like letting go of a token can help.
5. revisit an old hobby that once brought you joy, like gardening, knitting, or cooking. it’ll remind you of your inner peace.
HEALING TIP : try a sensory grounding exercise: touch something soft, listen to calming music, and smell something grounding like lavender to soothe your mind and body. also something that can temporarily help is watching a super scary movie or just eating spicy food, it can help you distract yourself from your thoughts, at least momentarily
🧩 gemini in the 12th house
1. your mind runs fast, but your 12th house challenges you to slow down and acknowledge buried insecurities.
2. release old narratives, whether it’s past gossip, harsh words, or regrets, let go of thoughts that weigh you down. Practice rephrasing past stories with kindness.
3. try creative outlets that let you express emotions without words, like art or dance, to connect with deeper feelings.
4. when you socialize, make time for connections that feel supportive and honest, without intellectual posturing.
5. quieting your inner monologue helps you access the quiet truths below the surface. Breathing exercises can help here.
HEALING TIP : try recording voice memos on your phone when you feel overwhelmed. Sometimes saying things out loud can help you make sense of them faster than writing.
🧩 cancer in the 12th house
1. you tend to tuck away your deepest fears. Make time to reflect on past emotions without judgment or the need to ‘fix’ them.
2. address any unconscious attachment to people or situations that no longer serve you, knowing it’s okay to need change.
3. offer compassion to yourself, revisit times when you felt misunderstood or unsupported, and give your younger self the love they needed.
4. learn to let go without feeling abandoned. Spend time nurturing your sense of self apart from your relationships.
5. forgive old wounds, allow yourself to release grudges or hurts, understanding that they don’t define your future connections.
HEALING TIP : write a letter to someone from your past you’ve never fully moved on from, then release it (you don’t have to send it).
🧩 leo in the 12th house
1. step back from needing validation, explore who you are outside of praise or recognition. spend time with yourself, just being rather than performing.
2. acknowledge areas where you might have felt rejected or unappreciated. practice self-love that doesn’t rely on others’ feedback.
3. try activities where you’re a beginner. learning something new can help you find power in vulnerability.
4. let go of ego-driven fears, focus on what makes you feel genuinely fulfilled, not just admired. reframe your goals around personal joy rather than approval.
5. reclaim your authenticity by exploring what brings you joy outside of an audience, like a private creative hobby that brings you peace.
HEALING TIP : try visualising your inner child, close your eyes and picture yourself as a child full of hope and joy, and send love to that younger version of you.
🧩 virgo in the 12th house
1. acknowledge that some things don’t need fixing. practice letting go without feeling the need to control every detail.
2. practice self-compassion, allow room for mistakes and honor your efforts without focusing solely on flaws. embrace your progress, not perfection.
3. stop overanalyzing (ik it’s hard but your overthinking is what causes majority of your problems, the more you overthink the more power you’re giving to those unwanted thoughts) give your mind permission to take a break. activities like meditative gardening or painting can help soothe the inner critic.
4. connect with your intuition, trust your instincts rather than rationalizing everything. allow yourself to simply “know” without overthinking it.
5. embrace the chaos haha, let things be messy or spontaneous without judgment. Flexibility helps you grow beyond rigid expectations.
HEALING TIP : try writing a list of what you’re grateful for, it's a simple but powerful tool to shift your focus from worries to abundance.
🧩 libra in the 12th house
1. find comfort in solitude, learn to enjoy your own company, separate from others’ opinions or companionship. practice inner peace.
2. let go of past people-pleasing, allow yourself to address buried feelings of resentment that may stem from overextending for others.
3. balance your inner harmony, focus on inner alignment rather than external harmony. Journaling or meditating on your needs helps you center.
4. heal relationship wounds, reflect on past connections that left an impact. release blame, knowing each taught you something valuable.
5. set boundaries with yourself, give yourself permission to say “no” without guilt. embrace your inner balance, free from others’ demands.
HEALING TIP : you can try a heart-centered meditation to connect with self-love and release neediness for outside validation or try a balance-focused yoga routine, it can be both grounding and soothing, helping you connect with your inner equilibrium.
🧩 scorpio in the 12th house
1. embrace your emotional vulnerability, lean into your feelings without fearing loss or control. Sharing emotions helps relieve hidden weight.
2. release grudges (ik this is something hard for you but letting go is better than holding on to the things that cause you problems - forgive but don’t forget perhaps), practice forgiveness as a way of releasing old hurts that drain you.
3. face your darkest worries with courage, knowing they don’t define you. Write them down and let them go.
4. reclaim personal power, you’re literally THAT bitch don’t forget that queen, focus on how you can empower yourself from within, instead of seeking control externally.
5. trust others with your feelings when it feels right; vulnerability can be deeply healing.
HEALING TIP : you can try shadow journaling by exploring both light and dark thoughts to understand yourself more deeply or if you want something fun instead try listening to a mystery podcast or an immersive story app where you can dive into thrilling narratives. this helps you tap into your emotional depth while being entertained, offering healing through mystery and intrigue.
🧩 sagittarius in the 12th house
1. look inward for meaning, sometimes answers lie within, not in new experiences. find fulfillment in self-reflection rather than escapism.
2. explore spiritual grounding, sagittarius craves meaning, so find practices that connect you to a sense of purpose, like guided meditation.
3. release judgment and let go of self-criticism about past “mistakes.” accept that growth is a journey, not a fixed outcome.
4. embrace introspection by giving your adventurous mind permission to slow down and find contentment in stillness.
5. cultivate patience please (so so important) you may be prone to quick fixes; practice patience with yourself and your journey to healing.
HEALING TIP : start a personal travel vlog (even if it's just to document your local adventures) or use digital journaling apps to record your thoughts, dreams, and philosophical insights. It’ll allow you to process your emotions while in a fun way <3
🧩 capricorn in the 12th house
1. release pressure to always be “on”, let go of needing to achieve every moment. It’s okay to just “be” sometimes, without a goal in sight.
2. forgive your past mistakes, address any old guilt you’re holding onto. you’re allowed to grow beyond your old decisions and learn without punishment.
3. embrace vulnerability (very important) being open about your feelings doesn’t weaken you; it strengthens your ability to understand and trust yourself.
4. trust life’s timing, not everything has to be perfectly planned. lean into moments of uncertainty and find peace in simply experiencing.
5. reflect on your worth beyond productivity, spend time exploring who you are outside of what you “do” or “produce.”
HEALING TIP : try weekly self-check-ins to connect with your needs and desires, away from the hustle of daily demands.
🧩 aquarius in the 12th house
1. embrace your quirks and shadows, you have a unique mind, so allow yourself to be different even in your struggles. reflect on hidden fears and accept them.
2. let go of needing to understand everything, release the need to overanalyze or intellectualize every emotion; trust that some things are just felt, not solved.
3. balance independence with connection, don’t isolate yourself too much. healing also comes through genuine human connections.
4. explore spontaneous introspection, give yourself the freedom to meditate or journal in unconventional ways, like painting or singing.
5. lean into self-compassion, you may be hard on yourself for being “too different” or processing wounds and hurts “differently” but learn to embrace that unique perspective as your strength.
HEALING TIP : try creative expression exercises that bring your thoughts to life, like freeform art, dance, editing, posting stuff online (blogs, reels etch) or sound journaling helps too.
🧩 pisces in the 12th house
1. set healthy boundaries with emotions, your empathy can pull you into others’ feelings. spend time differentiating between your own emotions and theirs.
2. give yourself closure without finality, understand that sometimes closure isn’t perfect or neat, and let go of needing every question answered.
3. create a soothing retreat, build a healing environment, like a cozy corner or blanket fort lmao, where you can escape and connect with your inner peace.
4. release victim mentality, move beyond past hardships by reclaiming your personal power and seeing yourself as a survivor, not a sufferer.
5. TRUST. YOUR. INTUITION. you’re naturally in touch with the unseen. lean into that gift by tuning into your feelings without judgment.
HEALING TIP : create a healing playlist filled with calming music, or even soothing ASMR sounds, to help you unwind and feel safe in your own space.
© cazshmere 2024 [All Rights Reserved]
banner & pic credits to the rightful owners <3
#astrology#astrology notes#astro notes#synastry#astrology blog#synastry observations#astro community#composite#astro blog#astrology observations#astrology works#astro basics#astro observations#vedic astrology#astro placements#12th house synastry#12th house#aries#scorpio vibes#capricorn#lilith in the houses#lilth#asteroids#pluto#moon astrology#synastry astrology#houses in astrology#venus astrology#north node#tarot cards
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
❝𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐚𝐧𝐬, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬. 𝐈’𝐦 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲.❞
What makes your future lover horny around you? (Detailed)
Masterlist.
Authors note,
Finding matching dividers and photos were a nightmare, unfortunately, but I also deeply missed my old theme.
Divider.
Pile 01.
“You’re such a sweetheart, I wish I knew you before. I wish I waited for you instead of being in a relationship with her. I wished..” There are a lot of wishes from your future person and a lot of regrets from their past relationship. A lot of pain surrounds their heart, yet when it comes to you, their mind is crystal clear, and they know they are with the right person. You make them feel okay and safe and helped them understand their own emotions. A lot of healed energy and open-minded individuals here. I hear a lot of thanks from them; you also helped them realize their sexuality, yet you do not feel disgusted by them. A lot of them met close-minded individuals, and their minds have been accustomed to feeling ashamed and fearful about who they really are. You are their safe haven.
Now, what makes your future spouse horny around you? A lot of things, they’re so romantically beautiful that my heart is fluttering for you. An immense feeling of serenity flows through me.
The way you speak to them, you are always calm around them, and you speak/ooze elegance. Their hearts flutter, and this usually turns them on.
The way you command others to notice you, whether it is intentionally or not. You make others notice you so easily, which is also how you make your fp notice you or how your fp has noticed you.
I see a scene where someone is wearing something that shines and makes others notice it. The outfit is your aesthetic; it doesn’t matter what it is. The vibe is this dark blue hue mixed with a saturated gray, but there is a spotlight on them. Everyone is watching their every move and cannot get enough of them. There are other socialites in this scene, yet everyone needs to notice this person. This is your energy, you steal others' spotlight, thus doing the same with your fp. Your dominant energy turns your fp on like a madman, and I can hear them masturbating while muttering your name.
Your word choices, your fp sees you full of richness. Your vocabulary is broad, and they think your intelligence is on another level. I see you saying filthy words to them during sex in a romanticized language, or your native language, and this is their killer. Their heart will beat like crazy, they will become sweaty and become aroused on the spot. Some will literally orgasm on the spot depending on their sex drive and yours (so this varies).
This may seem normal to you, but to them this is.. Not sure how to explain it, but it is something else. Your healing nature is their turn on. So, as mentioned, their ex messed them up and there was a lot of toxic energy surrounding them with her (yes, regardless of their gender), but with you—it’s very healthy and romantic. For some reason (their words), it turns them on a lot. You could be setting up a boundary and explaining why, and their mind drifts to fucking you endlessly. Then they have to remind themselves to listen, and they will—every little word that comes from your mouth, the detail of where they are, every movement of yours, but ultimately go back to those thoughts. Again, this also comes back to your presence and how you make everyone drawn to you effortlessly.
During sex, you tend to squirm around the person you make out with spontaneously, just something your body has been doing forever. For them, they find it adorable and cannot get enough of it. Some of you feel insecure about it, but you shouldn’t because it is one of their favorites. Now, it doesn’t necessarily turn them on, but it plays a part in your presence. Addictive is what pops into mind.
Seriously, your presence is incredible, so healing and nurturing and your presence itself is going to bring so many suitors into your life that you may feel overwhelmed. So make sure to tend to yourself and distance from energy vampires that will appear as your future lover; do not ignore your gut feeling or intuition around certain people despite how others speak kindly about them. Not everything meets the eye.
Your hardworking ability and determination are one of their turn ons. They have or will speak about this to their mother, hiding parts of their fantasy of you fucking them/pegging them endlessly while using a tie around their neck to control them but also choke them. A lot of rough fantasies, but aside from this. They adore how you work so hard to get what you want instead of projecting envious energy onto others and being bitter. Once again, this is normal for you, but for them and others around you, it is so refreshing. Also, they will peek around when you are working and admire your body and hope that you will not see them despite you knowing they are and accentuating your body for their eyes.
Channeled song:
Climax - Djo
✮ Masterlist.
Pile 02.
With how you make them smile instantly. They have a rough and biker type of personality. Very heartwarming and soft with the right person yet so gruff. With you though, they are able to let loose, which makes it easier for them to show that they do become aroused by you. They have had instances where they could not or were not allowed by people they used to know. They have never been in a relationship, which has resulted in them being bitter, so do expect rough sex from time to time. I do find it ironic with how they have never had sex before, but you do teach them everything you know and they are able to adapt to the details and your body movement.
You are an unbothered person and very laid back. They are someone who will overthink and let their insecurities interfere with their words, so sometimes they will try to assert their ‘dominance’ with you. The reality is: they want you to dominate them despite what they are actually saying. They have a lot of bratty energy, or scared bratty energy. Your unbothered personality turns them on and will make them realize they like being dominated, but it also pisses them off since they are used to others being intimidated by them and cowering away.
They will become turned on by how you always wear something sexy or any type of accessory that is appealing to the male’s gaze, regardless of your and their gender. Something about them gets them going, and they will let you step on them, both metaphorically and physically.
I see an image where someone is wearing red heels and clear stockings holding a baton as their lover's hands are tied with their used stocking after they came. And their lover is begging for them to touch them, but the person will not. The lover's main focus is their high heel as the image zooms onto it. Your fp main focus will be that sexy outfit or accessory whenever they can get their hands on you or if you are taking control. I feel a lot of vers energy despite you being prone to take the bottom role. I see them encouraging you and making you feel confident too.
This isn’t something that turns them on, but it is necessary for me to say. They love your legs. A lot of you feel insecure about it, and some of you feel shameful for not shaving your legs’ hair, but mind you, they will be worshiping your mind no matter what. If you were to insult them or your leg, expect them to drag you anywhere and kiss them so hard in an attempt to make a hickey but for it to fail miserably.
Your tongue skills are to die for. The second you even mention oral to them, they will be aroused, and their heart will start to race like heartburn. Overwhelming sensations will drape around their body and make them into a mummy. This only comes down to when you do give them oral, as they will be your sucker. You could even bribe them or give a peace offering for oral and you will receive instant obliviousness or forgiveness. But they do know that it is their weakness, so they won’t be bothered or insulted by it. I see the both of you using this as a tease or a joke with others (when they become comfortable with the idea).
I mentioned how they will worship you and have bratty energy, but I also feel toxic alpha energy. The meaning fits their personality when you meet and get to know one another but it is hidden perfectly. You will notice it and some of you will brush it off. They grew up in a toxic environment where toxic masculinity and misogynistic traits were normalized for them, and they believe it is their duty to do everything without getting help from anyone, hence the gruffness in their lovely personality. There are a lot of internalized misogynistic traits with them that they may project onto you, so when they do ask you out, make them wait for you for a few months or 1-2 years (depending on your gut feeling) and call them out for their behavior because it will be a toxic relationship if you do not. Calling them out makes them change for the better, so you can actually see the lovely personality I spoke of.
If you do make them wait, the relationship will blossom into something pretty.. Like a sakura tree. Their energy after they heal and are with you is so enchanting and soothing, it makes you desire to sit at a pond and read a book with one another while gazing at the clouds passing by. The breeze brushes on your skin, leaving a subtle chill, and their gaze from your body to your lips as you speak will send shivers both on your body. Their respectful movements with you will make you melt..
I could write a book on how beautiful the relationship will become, but that is for you to find out and for me to know.
Channeled songs:
She calls me daddy - KiNG MALA
Sweet but psycho - Ava Max
✮ Masterlist.
Pile 03.
How many people do you have chasing after you? Your sex appeal is off the roof; I see so many people similar to a zombie horde chasing after you and begging you for your attention; the same goes for your fp. Some of you do manifestation techniques and affirm for sex appeal beauty, something about being sexy or being a queen/god, and an aura that draws people in and it’s working. This is how you will attract your fp. Some of you have met them and you know it’s them because you manifested them, and for those that haven't, they will come to you in April, May, June, or if you start to see things that have ‘’mars,’’ you are close.
Now, what makes your fp horny around you?
They become aroused when you are boastful, cocky, and straight up arrogant. They remind me of a puppy, always following their owner, no matter what and always needing them.
You have a seductive walk, you move and walk like a serpent. It’s silent, smooth, and confident, but you have this movement that draws its prey to you. I cannot explain the energy I am feeling, but I know that you know what I mean because you have been affirming it.
You wear a lot of red and gold, red lipsticks, red eye shadow, gold suits, dark red suits, dresses that show a lot of skin, etc. You ooze the definition of sex appeal, and your fp sees it for themselves, and they desire for you to tie them up with red chains into your prey to devour.
Is snakes your favorite or something you feel connected to? Your energy fits a snake in the best and worst ways. Meaning, you’re cunning as one but tantalizing as their eyes. You seriously pull people in, and I feel hypnotized as I do your reading. Your energy is secretive as a snake, but so open as the inside of their body when consuming their prey. You’re going to hypnotize them so well, and it happens accidentally. In that moment, you forget about your affirmations and techniques and meet them, even if you have met them (but you already knew that because it feels natural for you).
The way you move during sex. Your body movement is slow and smooth; your moves are sensual, as if you were a dancer for centuries. It reminds me of Egyptian belly dancers and their pharaoh would watch and enjoy. Your beauty and moves make them so horny that if you blew on their sensitive spot, they would instantly squirt.
You’re a secretive person, and you tell them small things about yourself, and they are itching for more. But the thing that turns them on is how you describe your past experiences, the words you use.. It is not meant to be suggestive, yet it is.
Your tongue movement. You either lick your teeth sensually, flick your tongue, nibble or bite your lips, or do all of them and play with your hair in a subtle movement to make them notice you when they are busy with something. This catches their attention so fast and they will feel hot and bothered.
Lap dances are your specialty, and if not now, in the future it will be because you wanted to tease them and be mischievous. Your lap dances compared to their last experiences always make them cum.. And it won’t even be 10 minutes in. And you will chuckle at them and play with their hair, and their cheeks will become so flushed they squirt.
There are so many things you will do that make your fp horny, but I have to stop it here because your energy is so strong that I felt like a sailor and you were the sirens singing to me and I was about to drown—I cannot write anymore (omg). Some of you have been manifesting for the ones I have written, and now that you have seen it, congratulations on your dedication and consistency for your desires. And to your fp, good luck to them because your energy—whew.
Channeled song:
APT - ROSÉ and Bruno Mars
✮ Masterlist.
#pick a card#love reading#pac reading#tarot witch#tarot reading#pac tarot#pick a picture#pick a photo#pick a pile#18+ tarot#free tarot readings#collective reading#tarot community#channeled message#pick a pile reading#tarotcommunity#pick an image#pick a number#channel messages#pick a card reading#pick a photo reading#pick a image reading#reading#tarot card#free tarot reading#free readings#free intuitive readings#future reading#intution#intutive
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Agatha Harkness x Fem!Reader x Rio Vidal: The Prize
Summary: Agatha has been fighting to reclaim her prize from Rio for a long time.
AO3
Included: dark themes, lesbian drama & yearning, near-death experiences, smut; biting, orgasm denial, praise kink, degradation, s&m, blood, fingering, cunnilingus, use of pet names, begging
Words: 9.7k
Tag List: @multifandomfix @ghostsunderstoodmysoul @escapetodreamworld @white--lillies @imtrashinflames
1750
Glowing hands press over the seeping wound, magic swirling around them, diving inside. There’s no satisfaction of watching the flesh knit itself back together. Instead, your magic drifts right back out like smoke.
Oh Goddess.
“Do take your time.” Agatha snaps, voice strained, “I have absolutely no plans.”
Five types of poison are immune to tangible magic. You know antidotes for three. Staring hard at the wound, you look for the blackened edges consistent with Nightrot, finding the flesh as red and irritated as to be expected. Is it swelling or screaming that goes with Alewife’s Revenge? A glance up at her face finds it normal. Her lips are pursed.
Your hands shake, one hovering over the open wound in her middle, the other clutching your head. Remembering has never mattered more so why is your mind empty? Pieces of information slip through your fingers like sand. Dozens of cadavers, hundreds of hours of study; useless.
Unable to rely on your memory, you scramble across the floor for the dagger that’d flown from the wall. The little light coming from the boarded windows prompts the metal to glint. The edge of the blade is sticky with blood, beneath it a metallic sheen that can only be a witches poison. You hold it up to the slant of light to see the color.
“Are you out of your mind? Heal me!”
You drop the dagger the second the poison glints purple. You slap your hand over your mouth, panic beginning to course through your veins; the body’s own special brand of poison.
How are you going to tell her?
“I’m trying!” You snap, voice breaking.
It’s a cruel joke that the poison should be so well matched to the witch bearing its effects. You stare at the edge as it rocks from being dropped, your stomach turning when the color doesn’t change. If only you could be wrong this once.
Were you a lesser witch, you’d curl in a little ball and quail under the weight of your failures. The idea is seductive. Yet, you turn to Agatha where she lies, pale and sweating on the floorboards. The pallor of her skin makes you whimper.
“Agatha,” You start, your voice holding just enough, “it’s Saura’s Dread.”
Things click into place behind her eyes despite the glazed-over look to them. She fights to find a way out of this, but you know well that the reality cannot be avoided.
“Give it to me. You’re wrong.”
“I know poisons better than most.” You hand the dagger over anyway.
“That’s not saying much.”
The comment stings, but you let it slide off you. You cannot give into petty squabbles now. With so little time to find a solution, you have to focus.
She stares hard at the blade as if willing it to change.
“Brew the antidote.”
“I can’t.” You whisper.
There’s a flicker of something in her gaze that looks suspiciously like rage. Your own internal fire leaps to meet it; of all the emotions to look upon you with—rage? As if this is your fault? You’re not the one that dragged her into this old cabin, intent on sifting through the contents.
It’s not your fault. You know that as the truth. Yet, shame floods you.
“You’re a healer.” Agatha spits, “What good are you if you don’t know the antidote?”
“Someone didn’t let me stay with my coven long enough to learn it!”
“The next time someone tries to keep you from me, I’ll let them.”
The fire in your chest ebbs. An old argument at an inconvenient time. There will be no rough makeup sex following this argument, no unspoken apologies in Agatha’s kisses. All the time, all the bodies; they cannot be for nothing. They mean too much.
Fleetingly, you feel pity for your old coven. In their minds they had attempted to do the right thing. Keeping you from Agatha must have seemed reasonable. But you remember how many bodies they made, how pleased it made Her.
Saura’s Dread takes its victim within six hours. This, you know confidently. The demise is slow and painful, a poison intended for torture. You can’t stand to see Agatha in this kind of pain. You’re not ready for her to be just another body.
“I’m calling Her.” You say.
“No.” Agatha counters, “She’ll never let me live it down.”
“You won’t live down anything if you’re dead, Agatha.”
“I won’t die.”
She’s an idiot.
Magic flowing into your fingertips, you trace familiar symbols on the floor. They glow bright and then dim as they wait. Around your neck sits an old, jagged bone, tied by a thread; you use the end of said bone to split your palm and drip blood over the symbols.
Agatha’s mouth is moving, but you don’t listen. You mutter the incantation in latin under your breath. The words—old and comforting—curl your tongue in ways that you’ve only known between two pairs of legs. You end the incantation with the key that gets you around the waiting list; Her name, Her true name.
There’s a blinding flash of light and a puff of fog, but the symbols contain it. You catch the glint of white teeth.
“You rang?”
Rio smiles, clad in darkness and bone and that same beauty that always stops you in your tracks. Upon seeing her, you breathe easier.
“We need your help.”
“You wouldn’t have called so formally if it was quality time you wanted.” Amusement dances in her eyes.
She eyes the symbols on the floor. They no longer glow, but still they contain her. She scuffs a foot along them.
You smudge the symbols and the containment drops. Stepping over the magic as it sinks down into the earth, she catches you by the waist and devours you; lips and teeth and tongue dominating your own, leaving you helpless to do anything but give in. And you’re all too willing to do so.
When she pulls back, you’re breathless. Somewhere in the fray your lip has begun to bleed. Rio soothes her tongue over the wound and you feel it close.
“Hand.”
You offer the demanded appendage, palm up. She places a kiss in the center and licks the blood from her lips.
Rio turns her head to where Agatha has dragged herself to sit against the wall. The rise and fall of her chest is slow, but there. She glares at the two of you. You flush while Rio grins.
“Hi, sweetheart. You look like shit.” Rio says, delighted.
“A side effect.” Agatha grits out, “The same can’t be said for you.”
Rio tilts her head back and laughs. It’s deep and rich and fills you with thoughts that are not appropriate for this situation. The hand on your waist squeezes as if she knows. Then, she releases you.
She crosses to crouch before Agatha, devious smile shifting to something softer. One of her hands works through a lock of Agatha’s hair, brushing it out of her face.
“What did you get yourself into?”
Agatha’s eyes drop to Rio’s lips, but she stays silent.
“Saura’s Dread.” You choke out, shame winding itself tight inside you, “I don’t—I can’t brew the antidote.”
You should have done more to push off Agatha’s agenda; just so you would have finished your research. A few extra days wouldn’t have hurt. They would’ve infuriated Agatha—and Rio by extension—but then you would know the solution instead of watching her slowly wither away.
Rio doesn’t look away from Agatha, but you know the soothing tone is for you, “It’s okay.”
Something passes between the two that you miss. One moment, Rio holds Agatha’s face in her hand, while Agatha—hesitantly—leans into the contact. The next Rio is standing between the two of you, toying with her knife, all business.
You feel a chill pass through you at the unfamiliar territory; staring into Rio’s eyes and finding the affection buried away. It stings more than knowing how you’ve failed.
“You’re asking me for life in a bottle.” Rio says, grinning, “What do I get in return?”
Short of knowing that Rio would fix it should you ask, you find yourself shamefully bereft of anything with value. You search the space for anything to bargain with. Agatha’s eyes should be looking at you with knowing, but her gaze doesn’t leave Rio.
When Agatha tilts her head and grins, turning on the bedroom eyes, you pause.
“What you’ve wanted for years.” Agatha says, “Brew me a little potion and you can have her all to yourself.”
Rio’s brows shoot sky high. You tilt your head, then freeze. It’s you. Agatha’s bargaining you.
There should be a sweetness in knowing you’re the only thing of value she has to offer, yet the taste is sour on your tongue. The words feel like a punishment, a reprimand—and not the kind you’ve begged at her feet for. That awful part of you would rather Agatha die than ever willingly give you up and Rio eyes you as if she knows it. Does it please her to know how they’ve twisted you?
One mistake, you think bitterly, and Agatha throws in the towel. Despite all the near-death experiences you’ve endured at her side. Despite the years you’ve spent together. You never expected a punishment of this proportion.
You bite your tongue. At your sides, your fists clench and unclench. They glow with the anger you can’t keep hidden.
Pride rears its unhelpful head and you speak before you can stop to think, “My life for Agatha’s.”
Rio’s full attention is on you, then. Her eyes are bright.
You speak directly to her, “I’m bound to you and The Road until such time as Agatha traverses it to collect me.”
Had you not been so focused on Rio, you would have noticed Agatha flinch at your suggestion. Her wide, glassy eyes stare at you. You do not give her the satisfaction of your attention. If she is going to be cruel, so can you.
Your terms are a challenge; and Agatha doesn’t turn down a challenge.
Her devious, wicked mask clicks back into place. Rio’s expression is pensive. Despite the poison working through her system, Agatha almost looks as powerful as her best day.
“You’d let me steal her away, O Death?” Agatha teases.
The comment is salt in your open wound. You glare, wishing more than anything that you could wrap your hands around her pretty neck and squeeze. You want her not only to beg—but to apologize.
But Rio’s eyes haven’t left you for a second.
“Alright, sweetheart.” Rio says, “Your life, bound to mine, until Agatha comes to get you.”
In it you understand the desire you both share; to have Agatha, one way or another. You wonder if the desire for possession is your own or something you’ve learned from her.
From her pocket comes a small glass vial. She tosses it to Agatha, who only barely catches it. She cradles it like something precious.
“Drink up.” Rio orders.
Then Rio is there, arm around your waist, holding all your pieces together. You lean into her comfort as color returns to Agatha’s cheeks.
“Te veo.”
--
1754
“She waits for you.”
Agatha whips around, purple crackling at her fingertips. At the edge of the clearing, Rio leans her weight against a gnarled tree, eyeing the withered husks of once-witches in the grass with interest. She looks almost predatory.
“Does she?”
Rio nods, eyes shifting to Agatha, “Like a puppy. It’s almost pathetic.”
It is pathetic, is what she should say. Time and affection have curbed her tongue on this small thing at least. On you. Agatha’s smile is knowing.
Rio has pulled her punches toward you since the beginning. Agatha’s never minded. It’s almost sweet watching the oldest force in the multiverse tiptoe around a witch barely into her second century. Is it that craving for ancient knowledge in your veins that renders Rio down, or is it simply your pretty face?
Does it matter?
“I don’t have what I need yet.” Agatha rolls her eyes, “Witches these days don’t have the power they used to.”
“Or maybe you’re leveling the population before they have time to strengthen.” Rio raises a brow.
Agatha thinks, deliberately dramatic, then shrugs, “No, that’s not it.”
With a shake of her head, Rio steps out from the treeline, and closes the distance across the clearing. Agatha watches every step with dark eyes. The stench of death and magic sends a chill down Rio’s spine; there’s nothing more delicious than a life snuffed out.
The wind slows in the trees as if sensing her. Birds silence their sweet tunes. There is frantic rustling in the trees somewhere as creatures do all they can to get away.
Yet Agatha stands, waiting, and allows Death to pull her into her embrace.
One of Rio’s great loves is watching skin split so she can lap up the blood at her own pace. Yet, when her hands settle on Agatha’s hips, they’re gentle. She doesn’t open wounds with her teeth. Rather, she moves her lips over Agatha’s until she can’t breathe. Agatha is wary when she pulls back.
Rio shrugs, “A message from her.”
“I see. Forgiven me, has she?” A slow, taunting grin, “Anything from you?”
“Have you earned it?”
“These bodies didn’t make themselves.”
A tilt of her head, as if considering, “Maybe you’ve earned something small, then.”
And they meet in a clash of lips and teeth. Rio’s hands are everywhere, leaving behind deep claw marks that make Agatha moan into her mouth. Agatha’s own nails pierce through cloth and skin at her hips but draw no blood. She tries to push Rio backward toward one of the trees, she just needs a little leverage and Rio’s thigh to—
Rio pulls back. She grins something wicked at the flash of Agatha’s purple.
“Something small.”
Agatha makes a face, batting her lashes. Rio doesn’t give in.
“You’re awful.”
“You love it.” Rio says, then her face takes on something more serious, “Don’t keep her waiting, Agatha.”
Then she’s gone as if she was never there; the only evidence being the bleeding marks on her skin. Agatha stares at where she stood for a long time before moving on.
--
1801
The Road changes, you’ve seen, as the covens come along. Small cottages, ancient ruins—the most interesting was an old system of catacombs, though it lacked the remains you’d been intent on studying.
Your favorite, though, is the bower, absent of any illusions or spells.
Beneath a canopy of purple leaves upon a seat of grass, you watch the events unfold from afar. An old curved trunk sits at your back keeping you upright. The animals—lost familiars, mostly—wander up to you here, nibbling at fallen leaves and taking up residence in your lap.
From outside it could be mistaken for a simple tree. Yet, beneath it, the world is at your fingertips. The position of your place presents the underside of millions of glowing leaves to your view; lives, Rio said, witch and non-witch alike.
You find the one you love best among the foliage. You trace your finger down the purple veins, hoping she feels you, thinks of you, misses you. The veins seem to glow a little brighter at your touch.
Rio doesn’t enjoy you toying with them; worried a wrong move on your part will take a life too soon, upsetting the greater balance she’s beholden to. But she taught you how to handle Agatha’s. Trace, never prod. Caress, but never pluck.
A black cat settles in your lap and you sit straighter.
Soothing a hand down her back, she purrs. Her little body presses against your stomach and basks in your warmth.
“You really are too predictable.” Rio says.
She stands a few feet away, clad in dirt and muck, yet still beautiful. Always beautiful.
“I like it here. It’s comforting.”
“You like being close to Agatha.” She corrects.
The leaf in question glows brighter as if sensing the mention. You trace a finger along the edge, willing all your love into it.
“This is all I have of her.” You admit.
Something like softness creeps into Rio’s face. As soon as it appears, it recedes. She joins you under the canopy. The cat in your lap startles and leaps from your lap, darting back into the underbrush.
You had never thought to secure some token of Agatha’s, then. Now, with nothing of her’s to hold close, you settle for her life-line, begging it to tell you her whereabouts and if she’s safe; it is always silent. Rio is, too. She doesn’t mention much when you ask, though you know she knows the actions of every life tied to her.
The Road is a wonderful home. Rio is an attentive partner. But you ache, still, for the other set of hands you knew; those who were predictable in their firmness, balancing the sudden changes of Rio’s own.
“You’re crying.” Rio says.
Her face is dark, but fury lingers around the edges. Something like worry flutters in and out of her eyes. You have nothing to say, so you only nod.
Then you’re in her lap. Rio’s bunching up your dress to your waist, canines embedded in your neck. Her nails dig into your hips and the blood warms you. You whimper.
Lips kiss down your neck while a hand hovers between your legs. You bear down, desperate for any friction to dull the ache. And she gives it to you. Her hand is exactly where you want it, fingers rubbing and pressing, and you grind your hips hard, harder until you’re right there.
And then her hand is gone.
You whine. Your hips move of their own volition, searching for that pressure to send you right over the edge. Rio’s lips catch your own in a bruising kiss and you whimper into her mouth.
Needy, desperate, you can almost hear her say.
But when she pulls away and digs her nails in harder, she whispers, “Cry for me, sweetheart.”
She alternates between giving you what you crave and rescinding it for hours. You whimper, moan, and beg. She laughs and repeats herself—cry for me. You lose count of how many almost-orgasms tighten your body just to go unfulfilled. You do cry. You sob and she’s there, tongue licking up your tears and knuckle deep inside you, thumbing over your clit until you have what you want.
You’re not sure how long you lay there, after, crying against her.
--
1833
Rio’s arm is warm where you’re wrapped around it. She leads you through the winding stone streets, around grand buildings with stained-glass windows. Some of the scenes depicted in the glass are beautiful, simple; but the majority are Catholic in nature, dripping with sadness and guilt. You shake your head.
Passersby nod or tilt their hats, but don’t seem to see you. Their eyes go especially glassy when they look at Rio.
Whereas you’re clad in a dress of rich layered fabric, Rio has opted for more masculine attire. The low heels of her dress shoes click upon the stone. The unwrinkled fabric of her suit smells of smoke.
Your heels don’t quite agree with the stone. After the fifth time of a near-twisted ankle, you huff, “Could I not have worn flat shoes?”
“The heels compliment your legs.”
“You can’t even see them.”
“Yet.” She winks.
You roll your eyes, ignoring the heat suffusing your cheeks. Another nod to a passing couple and Rio makes a sharp turn. You’re led into a damp, dim alleyway.
The ground is made from rough slabs of uneven stone. You curse when your heel slips and only Rio’s strength keeps you standing. Water slides down the walls on either side, thick moss growing in the cracks. You reach out to feel it only for your hand to come away red.
If not for Rio pulling you along, you’d have screamed. Blood cascades down the walls. From it grow dark, twisted plants you’ve studied beside The Road. Beneath the plants and out of them come bones; most have yellowed with age, but there is the occasional bright-white specimen.
Surprise aside, you lean toward the bones with interest. Still, Rio presses on.
The alleyway is growing slimmer by the second. Should it continue to do so, you’ll be forced to walk behind Rio, and the thought makes you tense.
Rio squeezes your hand, “Relax, sweetheart.”
“I’d relax more if I knew what we were doing here.”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
Before you’re forced to walk single-file, you come to the end. Rio traces a counter-sigil upon the stone. With a shudder, a door is revealed. Above the silver knocker, embedded in the door, sits an unblinking eyeball. The blue pierces you.
Rio pulls and slams the knocker. The eyeball falls from the door and hits the ground with a sickening pop. You nearly shriek while Rio makes noises of delight.
“Ooh,” She chuckles, “we’re not the first to arrive.”
You try not to think about what the eye must look like now, “Can I go home?”
“Why so squeamish all of a sudden? You handle the cadavers I bring you just fine.”
“That’s different. That’s research.”
“Who says this isn’t, sweetheart?”
The door opens soundlessly. Inside, the scene is much the same; another dark, slim space, though notably absent of plants and body parts. The owner of this place must be allergic to candles, the lighting situation is just pathetic.
Rio waits. When you make no move to walk inside, she sighs, nudging you with a hand on your lower back, “Ladies first.”
You’re not sure if being first or last is the worst. If anything is to jump from the walls now, you’ll take the brunt of it; you’re reminded of that day with Agatha all those years ago. Rio’s warmth at your back offers the strength you need to continue. Though, you do cling to her hand the whole way.
The hallway empties into a full room. Dark shelves match the height of the walls, on them jars full of ingredients. There are tables boasting dozens of drawers, though none sit open. Glasses and tools and cauldrons line the tabletops. In the center of it all are two figures; well, one figure and one corpse.
You can’t catch your breath. She’s as beautiful as the day you lost her.
“Agatha.” You whisper.
Agatha turns and smirks. She doesn’t look nearly as surprised to see you as you do her. Upon seeing you, her expression softens, eyes full of affection and longing. It hardens a bit when she glances behind you.
“You ruined the surprise.” Rio says, arms crossed, though one motions to the corpse, “We needed her.”
“What could you possibly need with a poison witch?”
“Our darling healer wanted to study with her.”
Something like regret turns Agatha’s face when she regards you. With a wave, she produces a thick book full of yellowing pages. You tilt your head when she offers it to you.
“Her life’s work. I’m sure there’s more here somewhere.” Agatha shrugs.
You take it and hold it to your chest reverently. All this time you thought Rio was putting you off about finding a competent poison witch and yet here you are, standing in her apothecary. She lies dead on the floor but you couldn’t care less when the real gift stands before you.
You long for her. You ache to feel the gentle caress of her hands on your face, the threat of her nails on your scalp.
A look at Rio tells you she isn’t entirely pleased with the turn of events. Yet when she sees your excitement some of her ire dissipates. The yearning in your eyes must be plain, since she gives you a single nod.
Book of poisons tossed onto the tabletop, you throw yourself into Agatha’s arms. She’s as steady as you remember. Her hand grips your chin and forces your lips to hers. Her hands are predictably firm wherever they land. She grips you as if afraid you’ll slip away. But her kiss, oh gods her kiss; soft lips and taunting, sharp tongue. The length of her body pressed against your own and so warm.
There are hands in your hair and this is all you’ve wanted—all you’ve craved for years. Why, then, do you feel the urge to cry? To rip the heart from your chest and banish it to where it won’t hurt?
Agatha is warm and steady. You bury your face in her neck and her in yours. Your hands shake with the force of clinging to her.
The feeling is bliss. Yet, it isn’t complete.
You glance over Agatha’s shoulder to Rio. She stands in the doorway, watching the scene with dark-eyed interest; but there’s a weariness in the set of her shoulders.
“Beloved.” You call, holding one of your hands out to her.
Rio raises a brow. Her eyes don’t stray from your outstretched hand.
“This is your gift, sweetheart.”
“And it’s incomplete without you.”
Her eyes stray to Agatha, who has taken to watching her, too. This time, Agatha’s eyes don’t harden. They maintain that soft look you melt for.
Agatha extends her own hand alongside yours.
“Come on.” Agatha urges, soft.
You watch the resolve break moments before she wedges her way into your embrace. Her fingers lace through yours, but her face is pressed into Agatha’s neck. She pushes and nuzzles like she wants to become part of her. It reminds you of the cat that visits the bower—Ebony—but you don’t dare say so.
Agatha’s hands leave you to caress Rio’s face. A thumb rubs along her cheekbone. You press yourself against Rio’s back, unable to glimpse her face but sure of the longing in her expression.
In a perfect world, there would be no separation between the three of you. No clothes, no emotional barriers, not even flesh to keep your hearts from mingling into one. You settle for Rio’s hand in your own and Agatha’s blue eyes locked on you.
You lean over Rio’s shoulder and kiss Agatha, your free hand fumbling with getting into the former’s pants. She chuckles darkly in your ear. It ignites a spark in your chest; a dangerous longing for this to remain, to be always. You try to push it away and focus on how Rio moans in your ear instead.
--
1869
“Will you walk with me?”
Rio nods, smiles grandly, “Of course.”
You laugh. She holds out her arm, ever the picture of a gentleman, but you lace your fingers through hers instead.
As a rare treat, you lead. You pull her along the road. The leaves change beneath your feet, from silver and black to the hues of autumn and then to pure green. The Road opens its arms into a clearing bathed in the color. Only the stone building in the center stands apart.
Upon your approach, flowers grow in the flattened grass where you step; honeysuckle and heliotrope, baby’s breath and red chrysanthemum. Rio glances over her shoulder as the blooms spring forth.
Ivy grows up the walls of the building. You brush a gentle hand over the leaves.
Crumbling, worn headstones en masse wait behind the building.
Rio tilts her head, “What is this?”
The door is unlocked. You knew it would be. The Road cannot keep you from this place.
Inside is warm and hazy. Papers with elegant scrawl cover every surface, books half-open litter any free spaces. Shelves line the walls, jars bearing various specimens. Plush couches overflow with deep, red cushions, begging you to sit and stay. A fire cracks in the fireplace.
Rio turns this way and that. She wanders around the room, flipping through books. A fingernail taps against a jar full of eyes. An errant paper is plucked from where it sits haphazardly atop the mantle. She stops.
You know the paper the second she comes into contact with it; can remember the way you wax poetic about how beautiful she is, how safe you feel in her arms. She picks another, then another, so on, and you know every word the second she touches them; the way she unwinds in Agatha’s arms, her face twisted in perfect fury, the lightless turn of her eyes when she teeters on the edge of wickedness.
She looks at you, vulnerable and unsure, “What is this?”
“My heart.”
“That… then why is all of this here?”
Her hand shakes the papers for emphasis. You resist the urge to laugh, lest she think you’re making light of her. Death can be cruel, but you try not to be.
You step close. Gently, the papers are extracted and returned to their places. Rio stares and hardly breathes as you take your face in her hands.
“You pulled away after that night.” You whisper, finger tracing her cupids-bow, “Do you think I touch you only because it is convenient?”
Rio’s lip curls. Fists bunch at her side, crackling with green light. You feel the rumble of her anger working through her chest. She tries to pull from your hold, but you don’t let her.
“Do you think I kiss you and pretend it’s her?”
Rio snarls, “I will kill you if you don’t stop talking.”
You smile. The threat is a real one, but you don’t fear it; the outcome is remaining by her side. With one hand you reach and pull one of her fists between you. You unravel it, trying not to flinch against the bursts of power over her skin. You press the palm of her hand over where your heart resides inside your chest.
The snarl fades just so. Fury still lingers in her eyes. You press your hand over hers and will her to see, to know.
“Look at the walls.” You order.
Upon the walls, plain and dark, shimmering scrawl appears. Agatha Harkness, it reads in shaky lettering; like a name carved into a tree. One signature turns into ten and ten into countless. Purple and shimmering is Agatha’s brand upon you. Rio yanks and reaches for the dagger she keeps handy.
Rio’s true name appears in shimmering green letters, then. Same as Agatha’s, there are countless signatures. They conjoin and overlap until the walls of your heart look like nothing more than a child’s colorful scribbles.
She stares at the walls in disbelief. The knife in her hand clatters to the ground.
“I’ve carved your names upon my heart so I’ll never forget who it belongs to.” You whisper.
“Sweetheart…”
You bend and collect her blade, pressing it into her hand, “Now do it yourself.”
Her hand wraps around the handle reflexively. Rio’s hand doesn’t leave the spot over your heart, feeling the steady, truthful beat.
“It’ll hurt you.” Rio says. She doesn’t bother hiding the desire in her voice.
You urge, “Make me hurt.”
Each artful stroke of her blade is slow. You whimper, but grip her wrist and push the blade deeper into your flesh. She scoffs when tears flood your eyes. The tears run down your cheeks while you smile, filled with bliss and ache in equal measure.
It’s a gift to love so deeply it wounds you. You never want her to stop; who, aside from your shared scar, holds such power? Who else in the world could touch your heart truly enough to carve into it?
There’s delight in her every movement. She consumes the pain of millions and yet, none of it is of her own making. She can only relish in what others have done; torture for a being who remains eternally intimate with the greatest methods of drawing out agony. Death has no free will but that you offer her—and she takes what none else would give, ravenously.
Is it enough?
Not forever, something tells you, you think it might be her, but for now.
--
1925
“You called?” Rio asks.
“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re avoiding me.”
Agatha leans against the wall beside a small window. The pane has been slid upward, letting in the sounds of the city below, releasing the smoke of Agatha’s cigarette into the air outside.
The cigarette is clutched in gloved hands. Her expression is amused as she draws in and releases the smoke, watching it form the shapes she wills. Though it has no effect on such a witch, Rio admires the object’s capability of bringing Agatha infinitesimally closer to her.
“We’ve been busy.”
“Busy or not, I’d say twelve bodies earns me a visit. And with the bulk of good booze I just removed from the market, I’d say I’ve earned a little more.”
An obvious lure with paltry bait, still Rio bites, “What do you have in mind?”
“Let me see her.”
She should. You’ve come to accept Agatha’s absence in your life, but she sees how much time you spend in the bower, and how you flinch when her name comes up. Rio hadn’t expected the frequency of Agatha’s name on the lips of covens walking the road to be so overwhelming, but it always drives you right into her arms; that she will relish.
But Death is not giving. She takes. Taking is, in fact, her favorite hobby. Twelve bodies is not enough to make up for the haunted look in your eyes. She wants more—will have it. Agatha has to earn you.
“I’ll need a little more from you.” Rio drawls.
“Do you have any idea how hard it is to kill that many witches here with the nightlife?” Agatha throws her hands up. Ash flies from the forgotten cigarette.
The sounds of Chicago seem to grow louder, as if to aid her point. Rio grins. She crosses the small space and takes the cigarette, snuffing it out on the back of Agatha’s hand. The action prompts a quiet moan.
“It shouldn’t be a problem. What I want, you have an abundance of.” Rio’s smile widens as she manipulates Agatha’s hand, removing the glove, pushing and prodding until purple flashes along the flesh.
A cooling breeze sneaks in the window and rustles the fringe along Agatha’s dress. It’s a beautiful thing, short and decadent. Rio knows you’ve enjoyed the few sightings of the period fashion you’ve glimpsed, but like her, you’d enjoy this specific dress in a pile on the floor.
Agatha’s eyes stare at where Rio’s flesh meets her own. Her eyes are contemplative, calculating. She hesitates. And that is her fatal mistake.
Rio throws her across the room with a shove. Agatha’s side hits one of the walls and she falls, face-first, onto the mattress she’s been sleeping on. The springs shriek at the sudden weight. Agatha snarls, throwing out a blast of purple that slams into Rio’s chest. Rio moans something filthy.
There’s a brief struggle where Rio does her best to keep Agatha pinned; to the bed, to the wall, wherever there’s a surface. Yet Agatha is slippery. Her magic whisks her right out of the hold Rio puts her in and wherever Agatha wills it; which currently, is behind the other witch so Agatha can kick the back of her knees. Rio kneels not of her own volition.
She braces to stand, only to find the blade of her own dagger at her throat.
Rio’s gaze has lost any warmth. Her affection is buried deep, beneath layers and layers of earth she craves to bury Agatha in right this second, “You’re breaking her heart.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem, you like seeing her cry.”
“When I’m the one responsible.”
Agatha rolls her eyes. She maintains a carefully ambivalent expression. Rio knows better; knows, under all that forced emotion, that Agatha’s heart is waging against her head, warring over her selfish desire to keep every bit of power.
Then, something shifts. Rio feels it. Agatha has made her choice and it isn’t you. And it ignites a rage in her chest unlike anything she’s felt in centuries.
She snatches the dagger back from Agatha’s grasp and only just barely resists the urge to bury it in her chest. If she has to drag Agatha back to you kicking and screaming, she will. You would like that, wouldn’t you?
“I’ll kill you.” Rio vows, and means it. Agatha can’t run away from the two of you if her soul is Rio’s to keep.
Agatha’s eyes flash with fear. Then, she grins around it, “If you can catch me.”
Latin words roll off Agatha’s tongue faster than Rio can comprehend. She recognizes the words and what they mean, where they’ve come from. Rio reaches out with her magic for the Darkhold too late; it, and Agatha, have completely vanished from her awareness.
When she returns to The Road and finds you pacing before the bower, she stops short.
“Did you—is she dead?” You ask, worrying your lip. Though your eyes dart every which way, looking for whatever manifestation of Agatha you believe she’s brought you.
“Sweetheart…”
--
1937
“Do you think if I cut you open you would heal too fast for me to do any research?”
Rio tilts her head, considering. She’s sprawled out on the plush couch inside the physical manifestation of your heart, toying with her knife, having a staring contest with the unblinking jar of eyes while you jot down thoughts into notebook number… well, she’s lost count.
“Probably.” She answers, “I’m also not sure I have organs.”
You pause, “How is that even possible?”
“Magic, sweetheart.”
Leaning back, your mind begins to race; given how old she is, it would only make sense that the organs the body came with are gone, rotted away—but would the flesh not go with it? You massage your temples. Life magic is no easier to understand than Death magic.
There’s only one way to test your hypothesis. You stand from your place at the table and cross to her, straddling her hips where she lay on the couch.
“I want to see.” You say, holding out a hand.
Rio hands over her dagger and sinks further into the couch, as if that is possible. She grins up at you with no shortage of delight. You do your best to tamp down on your own grin.
The flesh beneath your hands is warm and smells of damp earth where you peel away her shirt. Her eyes darken with every inch of flesh revealed to you. Firm and unafraid, you press the tip of the dagger down against her sternum. The action earns you an exaggerated moan.
You rip the dagger away, glaring, “Behave.”
“Or what?” Rio taunts, tongue pressing against the inside of her cheek.
“Or I stop letting you watch my dissections.”
She tenses, “You wouldn’t.”
“Wouldn’t I, beloved?”
“Get on with it.”
You lean down and steal a quick kiss. It melts away the darling little pout on her lips.
When you press the dagger back down, the flesh bends, but doesn’t open. You tilt your head and press harder. Rio watches, unphased. There is absolutely no give to her flesh. It gets to a point where you’re pressing your entire body weight behind the dagger, but Rio only laughs, squirming as if the action tickles.
You whine and sigh. The dagger is dropped unceremoniously onto her chest while you lean an elbow against the back of the couch, sinking somewhat into the cushion.
“If you want live specimens, we can collect some.” She soothes.
The idea isn’t intolerable, but you shake your head.
“They scream too much.”
“Anesthetic exists, sweetheart.”
“I suppose that’s true.”
You look away, tracing the walls and their offerings with your eyes. Upon them hang paintings of your own making; scenes of life, death, love, fear—mostly fear.
The human condition fascinates you, always has. Of the emotions to study, fear is the hardest; it is always fleeting in your wake; your face is too kind, too trustworthy, wiping away any sense of the unease you seek to study. You stare at your paintings and feel only distaste, knowing they’re not quite right.
You can’t claim to have always had such taste. No, a cultivation for the finer flavors of life and death takes time. You can pinpoint where the itch started, however; that day in your childhood village when a dying soul reached out to you—scarcely were you a day older than four—and found no assistance.
How beautiful it was; grisly, messy, but beautiful. You did not flinch away. Rather, you found yourself drawn in, eager to see more. And being of a coven of healers, your desire was fulfilled. Death was yours before you knew her name.
Looking down at her, she stares back, unashamed to be caught. The heart in your chest—which has felt so stagnant in recent years—warms toward something almost pure.
Rio will one day claim your soul. This, you know, and accept; your soul belonged to her the second you watched that woman die. You fear the when. What becomes of you when she claims your soul? What if you have yet to conduct all the research you desire? There is so much still to learn and you know she’ll abandon it for the chance to keep you.
You love her, but you’ll never forgive her the knowledge you’ll one day lose. The warmth in your chest doesn’t ebb.
Her top is still splayed open from your attempt at dissection. A healthy amount of flesh is bared to your eyes. You trace one finger from her neck to the center of her chest and tap, just above where a heart should be.
“When you come for me,” You say, “I want to hold your heart in my hand.”
“You already do.” She utters.
“Will you let me study it, then, when I’m but a soul?”
“You can study whatever you wish as long as it leads to me.”
--
1989
Agatha dwells on mistakes, often. She just doesn’t allow them to distract from her purpose. She is ruthless, to her very core.
She spends an embarrassing amount of time trying to open the damned door to The Road. One coven after another, all failures. There is an obscene beauty in claiming a reward for what would otherwise be failure on her part.
Time passes, enemies made, promises broken. She shrugs them all off. Yet she can’t shake the feeling of your hands in her hair, on her face. The lingering whisper of your kisses haunts her. The Darkhold whispers to her, oftentimes in language she shouldn’t comprehend, and it offers her the solution, should she just be patient;
The Scarlet Witch
--
2026
The power that floats before you is biting and all too familiar.
It fights against your hold, twisting and writhing like a wild animal, desperate to return to its mistress. But you’re stronger for now. The Scarlet Witch threw this power into the ether in her attempt at playing Death, and now it is yours to hold until Agatha comes for it.
Anger rubs against the heart in your chest like a cat. You lean into it, feeling your own power respond to subdue that which isn’t yours.
Rio watches beside you. She runs her fingers through the purple electricity contained in your palms, laughing when it fights her. Lips press against your temple.
“Not long now.” She assures you.
You feel longing and fury in equal measure.
“I want her soul, Rio.” You whisper.
A small chuckle, low beside your ear. It sends shivers down your spine. Her hand grasps your chin and turns you to face her, her lips meeting your own. The kiss is soft. You melt into it.
She pulls back, tone careful, “You didn’t walk The Road, sweetheart.”
You have not earned what The Road promises to grant.
--
2026
Agatha doesn’t expect the end of The Road to look like Agnes’ Westview home, nor does she expect to see Rio perched on the roof, leaning back, as if waiting. But every step closer to the front yard makes her more furious.
She is owed her prize.
Upon her first step in Agnes’ yard, the front door opens, and she is blasted with something so strong that it knocks her back to The Road, on her back. She groans. Yet, she feels more alive than she has in centuries. Her body shudders with its missing piece; her power curling up in her veins, pleased to be home.
She sits up, wincing at the ache in her bones that continues despite the gift she’s received. Leaves stick to the back of her arms, little pieces having crunched beneath her weight and adhered to her skin. She does her best to brush them away while getting to her feet.
Rio remains on the roof, grinning.
There, on the porch of Agnes’ house, is you. All the glory of you.
Agatha’s heart leaps in her chest despite the scowl on your face. To her, you haven’t aged a day; still the young, fresh-faced witch following at her heels, dizzy on knowledge and the thrumming power inside. Time has not erased the love she has—so great it threatens to bring her to her knees.
“Dearest…” Agatha murmurs, taking a half-step forward.
“You have your prize.” You sneer.
Your heart aches, begging you to go to her; hasn’t it been centuries? But your pride holds you back. She left you here while she gallivanted around the world getting what she wanted.
There’s a brief flash of hurt on Agatha’s face, before it morphs into a wicked grin. Her posture changes, too, to something more proud, as she slinks across the yard toward the porch. You resist the urge to take a step back.
“No, I don’t.” She drawls, “Are you going to be a good pet and come home willingly, or do I have to put you on a leash?”
Something inside you burns for her. You ache for her touch, for her to force you to do what she wants. It creeps through the cracks of your pride and turns it into something else. You stick out your chin. Agatha snickers.
Magic pulses in your palms, pulling various items from around you to throw—not fast enough. Agatha has you kneeling with your hands bound in a blink.
“That’s not very nice, dear. And after all I’ve done to get here.”
You regain some of your fight, snarling, “You left me here.”
Agatha hums.
“Into the deal you stumbled your way into. I’m not the one who tied herself to The Road in a fit of pride.”
“You were leaving me regardless. If I was going to be handed off, I was going to do it on my own terms.”
“Did I specify a length of time in my proposal? Was there any explicit mention of how long She could have you before I came back?” Agatha asks, mean-spirited joy in her eyes upon watching the realization dawn in your own. All that time you spent agonizing… when you had shackled yourself, “Years lost because you wanted to be a self-righteous brat.”
There’s a lilt to her voice that clues you in to everything you’d once seen instinctually; Agatha has been in just as much anguish as you have, left to walk the world alone. You see the pain in her eyes. Just like then, you try to get to her now, eager to fix it, to wipe it away.
The binding around your arms keeps you stationary. You whine and pull against it.
“Agatha,” You whine, “I’m sorry.”
“You will be.” She says. Then she turns to your left, finger poised and accusing, “And you—you kept her away from me.”
Rio shrugs, smiling, “I couldn’t just make it easy on you.”
Agatha waves a hand and Rio is kneeling on the porch at your side, similarly bound. Yet where you look pained, she is delighted.
“I’m sorry.” You repeat, “I didn’t mean to be bad.”
“That doesn’t change that you were.”
A cloud of purple smoke announces your arrival to the inner bedroom of Agnes’ house. It doesn’t look like what you’ve seen from Rio, though. Where Agnes had been bland and cookie-cutter, this is rich fabrics and deep wood. It is Agatha through and through.
You and Rio kneel side-by-side at the foot of the bed, where Agatha perches. Her beautiful blue eyes don’t miss the slightest movement you make. She’s clad in a dark robe with snakes and flowers that has Rio leaning forward in interest.
Agatha’s eyes lock on you, “You’re going to apologize. Properly.”
“I’m sorry—”
“With your tongue.”
Leaning back on her forearms, Agatha spreads her legs, and you feel the desire in your body rush through you. It’s so strong you feel your head begin to pound. She’s pink and dripping and all you want is to do a good job for her.
Yet, ever the brat, you lean forward and start with kissing her inner thighs. With every press of your lips to the delicate flesh you murmur an apology. She sighs.
A hand weaves into your hair and yanks you back. Her eyes are dark. Her face is set in a punishing expression but you see the yearning in her that matches your own. She yanks again, lighter, and you moan.
“What did I say?” She asks, before directing you where she wants you.
Witches don’t subscribe to the idea of what a human would call heaven, but upon tasting her, you think you could get behind it. She’s warm and sweet. You flatten your tongue and drag it along her slit just to collect a better taste of her. Agatha’s hand presses you in harder as she moans.
Without the use of your fingers, you have to use your tongue well. You stiffen it as much as you’re able when you delve inside her and hope it is even slightly close enough to satisfy. The pathetic sounds reaching your ears—breathy moans, sweet whimpers—tell you that you’re doing fine.
“Good girl.” Agatha breathes out.
You clench around nothing. You’re sure that you’ve ruined your undergarments thoroughly from how wet you are.
Eager for more praise, you direct your attention to that small, fleshy bundle of nerves begging for your attention. You swirl your tongue around her clit and her hips stutter, before they grind against your face with a renewed sense of purpose. You smile.
“Yes—there, more—” Agatha stutters.
You were born to do as she commands. All you want is to make her happy. Following her directions is as easy as breathing.
The tip of your tongue alternates between circling her clit and flicking it. Every flick earns you a high-pitched oh! and a firm grinding of her hips. Her thighs are tightening around your head, but she’s putting up a good fight. Her legs quiver.
“There—there—I’m going to—” Is all the warning you’re given before Agatha shrieks and comes while rutting against your mouth. You lap up every drop of her wetness you can get with glee. You did this, you brought her this pleasure; the knowledge sends a happy jolt through you.
Agatha’s grip on your hair releases and you lean back, taking in big lungfuls of air. She stares down at you with a thoroughly fucked-out expression that makes you preen.
Then she leans over and pulls your lips to hers. She moans against the taste of herself on your lips, tongue collecting the flavor from your lips. You throw every ounce of love you possess into the kiss—willing her to understand the longing you felt, the thousands of hours you spent watching her lifeline just to make sure she was safe.
“Good girl.” Agatha murmurs, pressing little kisses all over your face, “My good girl.”
“All yours.” You agree.
She laughs, low and smooth, “That’s not quite the truth, is it?”
The two of you turn to regard Rio in unison. She remains in the position Agatha left her in, kneeling and bound. You admire her restraint at not breaking the bindings. Though you guess Agatha wouldn’t take kindly to that.
Rio’s eyes are black with desire. They dart between the two of you. She takes in the wetness on your face, licking her lips. You can feel her eagerness for a taste.
She’s writhing a bit in her restraints, pressing her thighs together and wiggling, looking for any source of friction she can find. Agatha tuts and she stops. If it were up to you, your face would be between her thighs, ears enjoying every sound she makes. But it isn’t up to you.
Agatha scoots back up the bed until she’s sitting against the headboard. That’s when you feel the restraints on you fall away. She beckons the two of you with a finger and you both follow the command, eager.
“Come here.” Agatha urges you specifically, patting her bare thigh.
You obey and straddle the appendage, shuddering against the feeling against your throbbing clit. There’s a split second where you think of just grinding down and taking what you want. But you don’t—you have to be good.
Words pass between Agatha and Rio during your silent struggle. When you look, she’s lying along the length of the bed, legs bunched up and spread wide next to you.
“What am I going to do with you both?” Agatha muses.
“Fuck us?” Rio drawls.
“You, my good girl,” Agatha says, ignoring Rio as she soothes a hand through your hair, “are going to use me until you come. And my bad girl isn’t going to come until I tell her she can.”
You shudder, whimpering, while Rio whines next to you. Agatha kisses your forehead while dealing a slap to Rio that makes her groan.
A hand settles onto your hip and begins to guide you through the motions of grinding against her. The friction is difficult to attain with how wet you are, but you do what you can, crying out everytime the pressure is just enough to make your toes curl. It won’t take long for you to finish.
Your face is buried in Agatha’s neck, where you press loving little kisses to the flesh. As a result you cannot see Rio. But you hear her; every movement of Agatha’s deft fingers through her wetness, every growl and keen of desire, every slap of Agatha’s hand when she gets a bit too eager. She won’t last long either, from what you can tell.
The image of Rio and Agatha in your mind is enough to push you toward that delightful little taste of death. Your hands tighten over Agatha’s shoulders.
“Agatha, can I—please?” You plead.
“So obedient, asking for permission even when you don’t need to.” Agatha praises, “Go on, darling.”
With her hand guiding you and her voice in your ear, you come so hard you see stars behind your eyes. You’re not sure what sound leaves your lips, only that your throat aches afterward.
You tune back in to hear a brutal slap of flesh on flesh. Rio snarls.
“Beg.” Agatha’s voice commands in your ear, though you know it isn’t for you.
Rio stays stubbornly silent.
The sounds of Agatha toying with her come to an abrupt halt. You don’t have the strength to lift your face from your refuge, but you can imagine that stubborn, yet pleading look in Rio’s face; wanting so deeply but not willing to give up what is required.
“If you don’t want to behave, she can have your pleasure instead.”
“No! I’ll—” You hear Rio grit her teeth, “Please, Agatha. Please let me come.”
Agatha laughs.
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” She coos.
Seconds—or maybe minutes—before Rio wails. There’s something primordial and animalistic wrapped inside it, almost like a growl. It makes you shudder. Then all that's left in the room is the sound of breathing.
You spent so long aching for something just like this. It’s beautiful, though you know it can’t stay; all three of you are far too ambitious to live a domestic existence, but it’s nice for now. You missed them. The heart in your chest feels complete again, filling to the brim with affection.
Tears seep from your eyes and you pull back before Agatha can question it, though you do feel her stiffen. You press kisses to her neck, her sternum, the inside of her wrist; then you grab Rio’s hand and press kisses to every pad of her fingers.
With every kiss, you murmur I love you.
--
2027
“If you don’t sedate him at least a little bit, his heart is going to give out.”
Rio’s sudden voice next to you isn’t surprising. You’ve grown used to her coming and going—Death waits for no one, after all. Her lips press to your cheek and you accept the affection.
“She did sedate him. Three times.” Agatha’s voice calls from the next room.
“Oh, I see.”
Rio leans over to examine the man on your table with no shortage of interest. He stares back, eyes impossibly wide. His heart rate picks up.
“What is he?” She asks.
“Not sure. Rapid regeneration, odd capabilities. Mutant, maybe?”
“He’s certainly not a witch.” Agatha’s leaning against the doorway now, arms folded over her chest, “Though it is taking a fair amount of magic to keep him subdued.”
“He’s no match for you, naturally.” You compliment.
Both Agatha and Rio grin at that. The former comes up behind you, hands settling on your hips. Her lips press against your neck. Then, she leans over and steals a kiss from Rio, who is all too eager to meet her halfway.
You smile. The heart in your chest threatens to burst—not unlike the specimen in front of you.
“Well, aren’t you sweet today.” Agatha comments.
“Aiming for a reward?” Rio asks.
Rio kisses her way up the flash of skin available to her eyes, making you sigh, leaning back into Agatha’s hands. Then Agatha’s lips fasten to the other side of your neck. Your head falls back and you laugh. Then you moan.
The experiment on your table is forgotten as you’re dragged into the next room and bent into all sorts of shapes you couldn’t even imagine on your own. Oh, well; if he dies before the six hour mark, you can always just find another one. The same cannot be said of the witches bracketing you. And oh, how beautiful that is.
#agatha harkness x reader#rio vidal x reader#agathario#agathario x reader#agatha all along#agatha harkness#rio vidal#agatha harkness x reader x rio vidal#agatha all along x reader#agatha all along fanfiction#wlw#wlw fanfiction#oct2024#multimilfswritings
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
the problem is that being single is seen as the consolidation prize, and not the natural neutral state of being-a-person. at the end of the movie or the book or the poetry, there is a person waiting for you at the altar, and they love you. if the play is a comedy, everyone gets married. the metaphor is about how you are not-whole. the metaphor is about how everyone is going to be happily-ever-after. the metaphor is that romantic love is the most important resource on the planet, not just all-love. all-love is not a thing, that is a disappointment. the treasure is not the friends we made along the way. the treasure is the girl you landed.
the metaphor is that you cannot be alone, that means you are broken. are you getting over someone? that is acceptable, you can be getting over someone, but not for long. you must be single because you would rather not be single. you must be single and looking to not-be-single. you must want to date, eventually.
friendship and community are never seen as being equal-to or even-better than romantic connection. that person is your one! you need to find them. you need to hunt through the sand particles until you can shift out some kind of gem. this is regardless to your own experience of the beach and the sun. you need to be somewhere with someone.
if you are taking this time alone to heal, that is so sad. everyone gives you this little pitying look. the understanding is that you are not actually happier than you were before you were single. it is seen as a sort of pity - oh, you are choosing yourself, making yourself the priority? - that isn't quite right. you must mean that you are making yourself ready for the right person. you are just laying the bed better this time. open up your heart. you'll find them, we promise!
what do you mean you're really-truly genuinely-very happy? you are probably misremembering what it was like to be in a relationship. and besides, once you meet your person, that time will look grey and bland and wasted. your person is the only way for you to see in color. so what if you have taken this time - for the first time in your entire life - to actually-for-real do the fucking work. you can be proud of yourself, sure. but the way we need to know that you got better is that you get a partner. you're healed enough for the next bad part!
people don't choose to be single, they just say they're choosing to be single - they actually mean "nobody wants to date me." it doesn't matter how many people you have gently rejected or how many times you've talked it over carefully in therapy. what matters is that you are single, and by all accounts - that means you are something worth our pity. your successes and life all seem pale in the sunlight. sure, you have done amazing things and finally found your way in life. what matters is that there wasn't a person in the room with you while you did it.
you want to tell them - that's the whole thing. i didn't know how to be alone in the room. i didn't know how to handle the silence. every moment was so sharp, and i kept choosing the wrong way to close the door. i have spent my entire life in the empty well, living in the ricochet of someone else's cruelty. for once i have built myself a ladder. for once everything i taste is all mine, every bite of sunshine and laughter. i have learned how to sleep out in the open with my memories. recently, they have started to purr.
your father rolls his eyes. listen. this isn't about you. i just want a grandchild in my future.
#writeblr#i actually didn't want a girlfriend before nat#and my dad recently said to me - raquel. i don't approve of the promiscuity#1. i am 30.#2. i had casually dated about 4 people over 18 months.#3. i do believe he was just mad that i get more girls than he ever did#i had to look this 60 yr old deacon in the eye and say. okay so i have a girlfriend first of all im just not tellin yall about her#and secondly.#OKAY???? OLD MAN I DONT EVEN LIVE HERE WHAT ARE U GONNA DO ABOUT IT#briefly considered asking nat if i could pretend we were a one night stand kind of a thing
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
decriminalizing drugs and being opposed to forced rehab is important as a leftist but what a lot of leftists i meet seem to be unable to grasp is that you need to also be ok with people doing drugs for the rest of their lives. of course healing the environment that causes people to become addicts and making mental health services available and making drug use safer via needle exchanges is important, but you also need to know that even if all addicts are given all of those resources some of them will still continue to use drugs and you need to be ok with that. you need to view that as neutral. you cannot proclaim yourself a leftist while trying to dictate what people do with their own bodies even if you think you have good intentions or that its in the best interest of an addict. you need to accept this if you have truly destigmatized drug use in your mind like a lot of yall claim you have but dont actually reflect that in your words and actions when you call for forced rehab. help should always be available and encouraged, but the option to still use drugs despite that should be too. zero criticism will be considered on this post cause i know yall that disagree with this and merely cosplay as leftists online have never actually had an addiction or known someone with an addiction. have a nice day.
#🔗#hope i articulated this well enough cause im extremely sick as well as experiencing The Symptoms Of Psychosis#eta yall lose reblog priveleges now cause youre incapable of minding your fuckin business
4K notes
·
View notes