#And while I cannot and will not give you what you want or need

[sweeheeheehee]

first time? ⭑ heeseung

| in which.. heeseung, the known player, discovers his interest in the girl in the back of his english class..

| playboy!heeseung x virgin!reader ₊ highschool au ₊ reader is a inexperienced loser ₊ smut warnings: dom!heeseung oral (fem. receive) tongue fucking fingering virginity loss p in v rough sex unprotected sex (wrap it b4 you tap it) petnames multiple oragasms cumming inside heeseung is pussy drunk for a second dumbification creampie breeding kink dirty talk lots of kissing

| i didn’t bother to proofread this cause i got lazy so if it’s bad then eat my ass but lmk if you guys would like an aftermath cause honestly i would LOVE to write one!! enjoy!

You don’t have any experience with boys. You’ve never even had your first kiss, haven’t even held a guys hand before. You can’t talk to anyone opposite gender without buffering and literally running away.

Exactly what you are is considered lame. a virgin.

What can you do? you can’t help but be a nervous wreck whenever you’re approached by a guy!

So what makes your english teacher think assigning YOU and lee heeseung, the schools most known playboy, on a project together would be a good idea?

You’ve heard things about him from girls he’s hooked up with. You heard a girl say he “fucked her so good she passed out” you wondered if that could actually happen..

“Mr. smith out of all the students in the class, you chose to partner me with heeseung? we are complete opposites!” You complained, in hopes of getting a partner change.

“Yn, heeseung needs this! he’s almost failing my class and you’re the top student! i need you to help him boost his grade because i cannot have him failing this class!” you let out a heavy sigh as your teacher picked up his bag and left the classroom, leaving you alone.

You’re so fucked. Working with heeseung would mean distraction and distraction means no work, excluding the fact you could barely look him in the eye.

“Fuck..” You huffed.

“What’s got you in a tangle hm?”

A very familiar voice sounded from the doorway. “What are you doing in here alone anyway?” heeseung asks, stepping into the classroom.

You turn to him, your eyes widened from his surprise attack, “Uh-“ “Aren’t we partners on this english project thingy? Good, i need a good grade in this class or i’ll fail”

Heeseung eyed you, examining your every move. Every little twitch of your finger, when you bit your lip softly, the way you blinked excessively when his eyes met yours. Heeseung waited for a response while you just stared at him nervously.

Another beat of silence passes and heeseung looks away with a “tsk”.

“Good talk! uh anyway we can start working tomorrow night at my place just come anytime after five” heeseung says as he gives you a piece of paper with his address on it. “see ya later cutie”

“cutie” ??? he found you cute even though you barely even made a peep while he was talking to you..

oh you’re so definitely fucked.

The project actually didn’t seem too hard, you could do this by yourself but mr. smith just had to put everyone in pairs. Why did it have to be you to boost his grade up anyway? There were plenty of other students who were more than willing to tutor heeseung.

You shouldn’t be the one responsible for his grade, it was his fault he didn’t try to pay attention in class nor do his work. And plus heeseung wasn’t going to help you do the assignment! All he’s gonna do is sit back on his phone while you do his part.

He won’t even learn anything and the teacher knew this so why did he partner you up? You don’t know.

You paced back and forth in your room debating if you should show up early or late. You didn’t even want to go but mr. smith gave you such little time to complete this assignment.

You must’ve taken too long overthinking because the next moment you glanced at the clock it was 7. Great, now you’re gonna show up to his house late late amazing!

You quickly grabbed your keys along with your school bag and shoved the piece of paper into your pocket, running out the door alerting your roommate you’ll be back. You punched his address into the gps and started to make your way there.

On the road, you hoped you didn’t make a fool of yourself, you didn’t want to embarrass yourself in front of heeseung because he’s the type to tell his friends about it.

Gosh, you couldn’t be anymore unlucky, you’re seriously dreading meeting up with heeseung in private. Your stomach felt uneasy due to the nervousness building up, who knew heeseung would make you feel this way?

Why didn’t you say “no” to meeting up? Gosh you’re so stupid. Okay, you seriously need to calm down it’s just one meet up! It can’t be that bad.. right..?

It was about 7:15 by the time you finally arrived at his house. Taking deep breaths, you gathered all the courage you had and made your way to his front door.

With a sigh, you knocked once, twice, should you knock a third time? Would that seem desperate? Yea that’s definitely too much. But he hasn’t answered the door yet? Maybe you should knock ag-

Before you could finish your thought, the door swung open revealing heeseung. He had on grey sweatpants that hung loosely off his hips along with a baggy white tee. He looked good.

“Took you long enough! was starting to think you weren’t gonna show” Heeseung says with a grin as he looked at you like you were his lunch. “Uh yeah sorry i uhm lost track of time! haha..” Heeseung lets out a breathy laugh and moves aside to let you in.

“My roommates are out of town for a little while so we can work in my room” “oh okay..” In his room? You really could just work in the living room.

You felt all the nerves as heeseung led you to his room. You tried to mentally calm yourself because you’re only here to work, nothing else. You do your roles for tonight and then you’re out of here.

Heeseung’s room was surprisingly clean, his bed was made, his collection of keyboards was organized in a particular way, and there were no clothes on the floor nor any food.

It smelt strongly of his cologne but it was oddly comforting.

He plopped down on his bed, quickly kicking his legs up and getting comfortable while you just stood at his door awkwardly.

“Don’t be a stranger baby,” heeseung says while patting the spot next to him.

You laugh nervously before walking towards him cautiously as if he were a dog about to snap any minute. He examined your every step, smirking.

You sit on the side of his bed with your back facing him and pulled out your laptop from your bag, “The sooner we start to work, the sooner we’re done! lets start”

He only lets out a quiet chuckle. It was so faint you barely heard it. But you did.

The assignment was something about historical figures, you two got assigned William Shakespeare and both of you had to study this and that about him.

You were too busy reading and typing away that you didn’t notice heeseung hadn’t been typing the whole time.

He was just.. sitting there and staring at you.

You could feel his eyes burning holes through the back of your head, his breathing heavy.

Your fingers came to a slow stop, “Uhm.. how’s your part going..?” You ask while slowly turning to him.

As soon as you turned to him, your eyes met and you felt your body go weak for a moment.

“This is boring. I don’t want to do this” heeseung whined like a child and pushed his laptop away from him.

“I- Uhm-“ You cleared your throat. “Well you have to do your part in order to get a good grade heeseung, you said you had to get a good grade or you’d fail..” Your voice came out weak and unsteady as you struggled to hold eye contact.

Heeseung only let out a groan and sat up, now face to face with you. “You know.. i have something more fun to do”

You knew exactly where this was leading, and you didn’t want to let it happen.

“Heeseung, we only have a few days to complete this assignment so please no foolish acts..”

With another breathy laugh he replied, “I promise to do my work if you let me show you how much fun we can have, hm princess?”

Your eyes slightly widened at the change of his tone your heart started to beat faster, “heeseung.. p-please.. let’s just get our work done..”

Your mouth was slightly ajar as you felt your eyes start to water from how nervous you were. Heeseung was slowly moving closer to you, his gaze switching from your eyes to your lips.

“Cmon princess, it’s not gonna be that bad.” He places his hand on your chin, his face now inches from yours.

When you don’t dismiss his suggestion, he takes that as a sign and finally leans in and presses his lips against yours.

Your eyes instinctively shut as his other hand went to hold your waist from behind. The position you two were in made it uncomfortable.

You were too much in shock to try to kiss back, you two just sat there with your lips connected.

He pulled away after a minute and looked into your eyes admirably. “so pretty”

Heeseung guided you to lay on your back so he was now in between your legs hovering above you.

He leaned back in and this time you kissed back. It was soft and careful, like you were something fragile.

His hand suddenly gripped your hip firmly, earning a tiny gasp from you, and heeseung took that as an opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth.

The assignment was long forgotten as the kiss grew deeper and needy.

His hand gripping your hip suddenly pulled you closer to his body, letting you feel his hard cock through his pants.

The sudden pressure caused you to whimper into his mouth as your hips involuntarily grind down on him again. 

He pulled away with a string of saliva stretching from your mouth to his.

“Slow down princess, i wanna taste you first” Heeseung speaks lowly before his lips attach to your neck, sucking and nibbling. Your hands tangle into his locs, the feeling of his hands and mouth on you becoming overwhelming.

One of his hands on your hips move to the bottom of your shirt, slowly pulling it up. “H-heeseung.. i’ve never done anything like this before..” You whisper out.

He pulled away just enough to look you in the eye, “I’ll take care of you pretty, just let me do the work.”

With that, he starts to pull your shirt over your head and you arch of the bed slightly to help him.

Once your shirt was off, he tossed your shirt somewhere on the ground as he admired your tits, “Fuck.. they’re perfect baby..” He whispered and leaned in to start kissing and sucking marks on the exposed skin.

Your hands that are in his hair slightly tug on the strands, causing him to groan.

His hand slides behind you to unclip your bra sending shivers down your spine. Your tits spill out as soon as he removes the restraint and again tossing it with your shirt.

He pulls back to get a good look at your chest, licking his lips “You’re fuckin’ perfect”

Heeseung dives back in and starts sucking on your nipple, the sensation causing waves of pleasure to course through you.

“Oh my… heeseung” You let out breathlessly, mindlessly arching up into his touch.

He hums in response and starts to slowly trail kisses down your torso, ending at the waistband of your pants.

This time he doesn’t wait for your consent, too eager to finally taste you.

In the blink of an eye, your pants end up on the floor with the rest of your clothes leaving you in your panties.

“Not fair.. why am i completely naked while you’re fully clothed” You complain.

Heeseung laughed and sat up on his knees to pull his shirt over his head. His body was carved deliciously, his abs were defined and his biceps were now fully revealed.

You had to bite your lip in order to contain a whimper threatening to spill as he leaned back down to face your clothed cunt.

He trailed kisses down your inner thighs getting oh-so close to where you so badly needed him only for him to trail his lips back up.

“Heeseung.. please” You pleaded, you were pretty sure he could feel and hear the throb of your pussy.

Heeseung smiled deviously as he bit down on your underwear and slowly tugged it off, making intense eye contact with you while he took his cruel time teasing you.

Now fully revealed to heeseung, you couldn’t help but feel shy and instinctively retract yours thighs back together but heeseung’s head stopped you.

He laughed lowly, “Don’t get all shy now baby” Heeseung mumbled and used his hands to pry your thighs open again.

You felt sensitive as the cold air hit your soaked cunt.

“Fuck..” heeseung whispered before diving in without warning eliciting a dragged out moan from you.

His bold licks caused your hands to fly to his hair once again, pulling harshly as he sucked on your clit just right. “nghh heeseung.. feels so- fuck- so so good”

Your grip on his hair increased when he moved his tongue lower and into your hole.

He slid his tongue in and out as his nose nudged your clit deliciously. You couldn’t contain the loud high-pitched moans that flooded out of you, thank goodness no one was home.

Heeseung’s grip on your thighs tightened as he pushed himself deeper into your pussy urging his wet muscle deeper into your hole as his shoulders pushed your legs off the mattress.

His eyebrows furrowed as he focused on delivering your pleasure, his hands spreading your legs even more.

You felt the pressure in your stomach building as you tugged on his hair again, “Hee.. you’re- ah- i’m s-sooo close!”

He only growled into your pussy, the vibration adding to the pleasure.

Not once did his pace falter as he brought you closer and closer to your breaking point. The lewd sounds of your slick with his saliva was borderline dirty.

Your moans and whimpers grew more high-pitched the closer you got. “mmm hee im gonna cu- oh!”

With one last tug at his strands your orgasm hit you like a truck and you finally came undone on his tongue heeseung helping you through your high.

His pace didn’t slow, he drank every last drop of your release and even pushed his face deeper if that was possible.

The overstimulation kicked in immediately after your high was over, you whined and squirmed and attempted to push heeseung off.

“Heeseung.. too much too sensitive” You say breathlessly.

His hands steadied your hips, “Stop moving.” Heeseung growled against your folds and made you take what he was giving you.

It wasn’t long until he had you coming undone again with a loud squeal. 

Again, he swallowed your release and gave your clit a kiss before crawling back up your body, his lips and chin glistening with your cum.

“taste so sweet” he murmured before he leaned in to kiss you, making you taste yourself on his lips.

You bucked your hips forward in a desperate attempt for some friction. “You sure you’re ready?” heeseung asked, his voice careful and steady.

You nod, your head clouded with lust and desire too far in to turn back now.

Heeseung grins slightly as he plunges two of his digits into your drenched hole. His eyes are focused on yours as he carefully examines each scrunch of your nose and every time your mouth falls open.

“Gotta stretch this pussy a bit if you wanna take my dick”

He scissored his fingers inside you making you a moaning mess.

Once he was satisfied, he pulled out his fingers and held them to your lips with a “open.” You parted your mouth open and sucked his fingers clean while he watched.

Heeseung went to take off his sweats along with his underwear finally letting his painful hard cock free.

It immediately sprung out hitting his stomach, the tip angry red and leaking with precum. You felt fear shoot through you at the size of it. That? was supposed to fit in you?

“Fuck. This might sting a little but just bare with me” Heeseung said as he held your hips still.

Heeseung slowly pushed the tip in, the stretch all too much but addicting in a way. “mm-”

Heeseung stopped with half his dick inside, allowing you to adjust. “ffffuck you’re tight” heeseung says as he buried his face in the crook of your neck.

He stayed still for a while until you told him “you can move”

Heeseung’s restraint seemed to snap all within a second as he pushed fully in pulling a very loud moan from you. “Fuck i love the sounds you make” heeseung whispered in your ear.

Your legs felt weak from the penetration, the new feeling of the burning stretch felt surreal.

Heeseung started to move slowly but as his pace increased, so did your volume.

The sound of skin on skin echoed through the room mixed with your moans and his occasional grunts.

His hands squeezed your hips so hard you’re sure it would bruise. “feels so good- fuck” he muttered.

You heard his quiet moans in your ear which only turned you on further and your nails to dig into his back.

You weren’t aware of how loud you were until he said something about it, “Enjoying yourself that much huh princess?” the smile clear in his voice.

“Heeseung.. fuck!” You moaned.

The wet, lewd sounds were straight up filthy. You couldn’t believe you’re the source of the sounds.

Your mind grew even more clouded with each thrust and each creak of the frame, you were sure the neighbors hated you guys by now.

“Fuckkk i love this pussy” heeseung dragged out, his voice high. Your nails raked down heeseung’s back leaving painful scratches but he didn’t care.

Heeseung suddenly sat up on his knees, grabbed one of your legs that were around his waist and placed it over his shoulder.

When he started moving again he hit places so deep you didn’t know he could reach.

Now your mind was completely blank. you couldn’t process anything but moans as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. “mmm yess! lovvee it!”

Heeseung laughed lowly, “You love it huh?” “yes!”

His tip kissed your cervix making your moans higher. Heeseung could tell you were close because of your tone.

“You close baby?” You couldn’t answer. You were too lost in the pleasure to acknowledge what he said, the band in your stomach tightening beyond belief. “Best pussy i’ve ever had fuckkk”

One of heeseung’s hands went down to rub your clit in circles adding to the pleasure. Everything heeseung said sounded like background noise, your mind was hazy and your vision was dotted with white.

“You still with me princess?” heeseung said between thrusts, you could only let out moans in response.

His nails dug into your flesh as his pace increased, his dick twitching inside of you signaling he was close. You were too.

“Gonna fill this pretty pussy full. you want that right princess?” heeseung spat at you, looking down at your fucked out look, your eyes rolling back.

His hand on your leg reached to grab your face, “answer me.”

“yes! want it all!” You replied.

“Good girl.” heeseung says with something you can’t place your finger on.

His hand let go of your face and returned to its original position on your leg as he now focused on chasing his high.

With a loud, high moan, your orgasm washed over you, soaking your thighs and his stomach.

Heeseung kept thrusting even after you came, creating a white ring at the base of his cock. With a moan of your name, his hips stilled as he buried his warm cum deep inside of you and collapsed on top of you.

You shivered at the feeling, your body going limp as you slowly came back to reality.

After another minute of silence, he slowly pulled out the mixture of your cum and his spilled out of you.

“How was that for your first time?” heeseung asks with a smug smile. “It was.. really good” You answered tiredly as your eyes grew heavy.

You felt heeseung get off the bed for a moment and when he returned he was cleaning you with a damp towel. He discarded it once he was done and guided you under the blankets.

“I know you’re tired, go to sleep” heeseung whispered in your ear.

The last thing you felt was his arms sliding around your waist and his chest pressing against your back before you drifted off to sleep.

Maybe Mr. Smith partnering you with heeseung wasn’t such a bad idea..

my debut fic 👅👅 yes im very aware of how many times he calls reader baby or princess shush.. bruh i legit couldn’t stop laughing while writing this i forgot writing smut made me laugh.

[rotagnus]

pick a pile; general...extended. [messages and more!!]

this doesn't have a specific theme other than i'll try to channel things u need to here, as well as whatever the cards say. it's quite possible that the piles will all focus on different themes, so choose wisely!!! credits to @selysie for the dividers.

pile 1; teacup. pile 2; pink rose. pile 3; glasses girl.

pile 1.

i feel like this pile is full of loners. many of you are very talkative and can be the friendliest people ever...but by yourself? you dwell in your insecurities, although sometimes the darker aspects of life give you peace. i think that the universe wants you to turn your solitude into something sweeter. you use it as a defense mechanism because that makes it something controlled. it's not sadness that comes randomly; if you're in it all the time, and you choose that, it's predictable. in your opinion it won't fracture your life more. the problem is that you guys can change your life so easily, and guess what? other bad things will happen anyway. you guys will only actually get out of solitude if you choose to save yourself. i know that many of you do actually crave deep relationships, you crave the stability provided by one. you want to have things, to have people, and for them to be just yours, or at least mainly yours. this is a pattern that will take you guys a while to learn. for some, weeks. for some, months. years. but you all have it in you to pass this by. this solitude that you never get out of is what makes your insecurities appear worse. you cannot keep breaking yourself just because you want to avoid others breaking you, honey. you guys may have grown up alone and seen everyone fly by you, while you stayed stuck on people, places, long-after they were gone. but your avoidance of true love, true people, is what makes you ache deep inside. you guys are some of the most hopeful people i know, despite what you put yourselves through. and listen, you have a darn good sense of what life can be like if you let go of that vision that you stick so deeply into yourself as a dagger. this genuineness that you crave is out there, sweetheart. it's out there and it's coming. some of you deal with imposter syndrome and you truly have a detachment from your own life and accomplishments, and you always give credit to other people but never yourself. you find countless ways to ebb away this emptiness, but the truth is that you can heal, bit by bit. give yourself the same sweetness and love you want from other people. give it. many will read this then completely forget what i said, but right now, i want you to wrap your arms around yourself and tell yourself that you will make it out, and that you love yourself. yeah it sounds corny, but you have to do these steps in order to genuinely move forward. you want this thin line of such raw moments in your life, and honey, those aren't always beautiful. people come from pain, people come from breakage and those people are always the ones that either carve lives full of softness and lullabies or the most bitter lines that end in doom. you are powerful, and you have so much love to give. first, give it to yourself. ask your guides for it. sit with your feelings instead of creating a controlled environment in order to mask this feeling of pain.

pile 2.

ooouu so offers are coming in. let me read more into this. recently a lot of you have finished something. many have finished stories with people and are now in this little in-between space, which is boring and honestly for those of you with good intuition scary, because you know that the next phase is gonna be SOMETHING. many of you have your eyes set on greatness; you will not settle for less. and perhaps, sometime not too long ago, it felt like you had it all. like those sequences in movies where a person is so deeply in love, and then it all breaks away. you guys do see the beauty in things that are not so conventionally seen as that. you are very honest with your words, too. you create a stable world for other people, and you're always working hard (partially to not think about things when there's nothing to do ahahaa...not so funny). anyways, let's see what u got ahead of ya, sweetheart. okay so the world popped out, and i interpret this is many new opportunities, not something that's necessarily set in stone. this will be a time in which you try to kill anything that reminds you of your past; you'll look at it and see all of the ridges and scars that were caused by painful experiences, and many of you will attempt to wash this away by changing up your surroundings or your physical appearance. people may tell you that you've changed. another important thing for you to know is that in this period of your life you cannot let others decide what is going to be in your own story. this is something that is up to YOU and the universe, however if you nod and let others decide what happens, the universe is gonna give you exactly that until you realize that others may not always want the best for you. many of you are innocent and hold a certain naivete that makes you let others in again and again after they disrespected you, after one moment of peace, even though the rest of your relationship was a storm. many of you struggle with boundaries, but really, the universe uses your boundaries as paths of elimination for things that are below you. the moment you realize that you deserve better is the moment that better things are available to you. you cannot keep falling into old patterns. many of you are the type of person to be like 'ohh i crave a situationship' and you believe that's all you're good for but in reality you want a deep relationship focused on honesty, vulnerability, and genuine love. stop saying things you don't mean and believing that you're only good enough for shit. we all know that's not true!! deep down, you have this sense of greatness. you know that you're destined for peace and love, so stop exposing yourself to areas of pain because you think that you deserve it, or because you feel bad for a person. you guys are genuine, loving people, but people can take advantage of that in this world. never doubt ur beauty and your spark. much love, pile 2.

pile 3.

okay okay so great era is coming in for you! similar to pile 2 so you may wanna go check that out. you guys are my firecrackers. i can tell that people love you already. i think that your ability to just be so vulnerable with people makes them reallyyy fall in love with you (platonically and romantically). you're unique and everyone can see that. don't dull your spark. OKAY SO LETS SEE WHAT ELSEE. yahh so you're giving. you got full cups and you're always pouring into other people and hobbies...many people do take advantage of that. while some of the messages in other piles called for them to connect w others, with this pile it's more important for you to focus on yourself. of course you'll meet people in this era of your life, but i think that while that's going, you're going to get a more bountiful harvest by taking care of yourself. i am so sorry to say this but a lot of you need to realize you are the SHYTTT. you are so unbelievably cool and awesome and whatever standards you're trying to reach may be impossible because you're literally already awesome. yeah, you may stick out like a sore thumb. you may be expressive and bubbly and some will see you as 'annoying'. but...you're literally you for a reason. you carry this beauty with you that people reminisce on for YEARS, sweetheart. YEARS. you're missed everywhere you leave, and you're like a good song. many of you struggle in this world; maybe neurodivergent or just felt like you're different, your whole life. you didn't come here to have it easy. you came to have it REAL. to experience ups and downs! you really do view life as a privilege and you will be rewarded for that and your persistence IMMENSELY. you don't back down, you don't give up! but you really do need to view yourself as ALL THAT because that's what you are. and i'm sorry if some shitheads ruined that for you, but you ARE SOOO amazing, and there will be all that love for you out there. this is a journey that doesn't end here, pile 3. don't give up. you haven't felt everything you will yet, and you've met SOO little people in the grand scheme of things. strangers, lovers, children, whatever that's out there...most of it hasn't come to you. it's okay to mourn what has left you or is leaving you. but keep your chin up. the best is ahead, and i'm not saying this because it'll get me more clicks on this platform. you may be sad now but that ain't for long. you guys are going to get everything you ever wanted as long as you realize that the center of your life should be YOU, not a hobby, not another person, not other people. this is your life and it's important that you see it that way, that you live vicariously through YOURSELF and not others. it's okay to feel so deeply. it's okay to cry easily and love easily and spend time thinking and missing things and people. it's a sign that your heart and soul are big. that's a good thing. don't give up on yourself.

[hyacinthleaves]

hello hello!!! may I request fluff relationship headcanons with eddie and volt? need to see more of my husbands and I plan on making another seperate request for two more characters so this wont be my last :)

also if its okay may I be referred to as 🌙 anon? :3

yeah bet. trying so hard not to write smut rn you can see it while i was writing. its like having a really funny joke that you cant say cuz everyones talking

Eddie and Volt:

I'm trying so hard not to be biased but this is actually one of, if not the most rewarding relationship to be in. Like, in comparison to all the other objects in the house, you are getting the most princess treatment from these two

It's def because they were so grateful for your help and not just because they're attracted to you. Because originally that wasn't their thing so the fact that your relationship literally went from 1 to 100 is one of the reasons why being with them is deadass all fun and vibes for the most part

Also I think it would be so fun to date them because unlike some other pairings in the house (cough cough curt and rod, harper and dirk, and maybe timmy/timothy if I can count them) there's no tension between one and the other where you're forced to come between them really

I feel like interactions with them heavily depend on how you're feeling towards them or what side you decide to show to them

Like I can see a more sassy/teasing s/o talking to Volt a lot and poking fun at Eddie (in a flustering way) because of how much he blushes around them

Just getting Eddie flustered has got to feel like the greatest thing ever. Keep reminding him how much he wanted nothing to do with you when you first met. Make him feel how thankful he is to have you by his side. Volt supports this and actually thinks its so funny. Eddie is getting you back for this. Don't think you can just get away with this

But I can also see a more kind and affectionate s/o being more clingy to Volt (which he loves and will accept all of it, despite how busy he is) and Eddie jokingly poking fun at you

Volt makes it very clear to everyone that you're his partner. PDA shakes in the presence of Volt. I swear he gets worse with every interaction with you

In fact I feel like he has to hold himself back a lot. You make him lose his composure so easily and he has to remember he's on the clock

If you ever give him a reason to, he wouldn't be too upset if he had to close the Breaker Box early. He would find the perfect time to do it though so it doesn't seem like anything TOO bad is happening

But his patience is pretty high so usually there's no need for it to get to that point...don't test him too much though. Or do. You're well aware where that will get you

You literally cannot get bored around them I'm so serious like 10/10 relationship

[its-in-the-woods]

About Damn Time

~ Series of smutty one-shots with Congressmen Bucky Barnes ~

Masterlist

MINORS and AI dickbags GET OUT.

Synopsis: You and the congressmen have been dating for a while now, and you cannot wait to jump his bones any longer.

Pairing: James Buchanan Barnes/Bucky x You/x reader (afab) no use of y/n

Word count: 4.6k

Rating/Warning: Established relationship, somewhere between TFATWS and Thunderbolts*. CongressmenBucky, p in v, slight dombucky subby reader, Smut, oral (f), slight body image issues from everyone, ingering, creampie (wrap it), biting, kissing, cussing, fun to bad had

Author notes: This will probably end up being a series of cute, funny, and ridiculously smutty one-shots. Enjoy, tell your friends ;)

All mistakes, grammar, and plot holes are my own.

You met him at a veterans' fundraiser, he had been kind, caring, easy to talk to. He’d sit with anyone who wanted to speak to him, really let them be heard. It was clear that was why he had gotten the votes, his actual care for others seeped through his pores. It was so rare a sight in the modern day.  So when he came to sit beside you, you were surprised. You had arranged the event, invited many members who were running for congress, but Mr. Barnes had been the only one that had stayed.  The only one that couldn't keep his eyes off you.

“Thank you for organizing the event,” He said quietly, sitting beside you, right hand fiddling with the glove covering the left. 

You smile, “Thank you for staying. Means a lot to the vets to hear from you. “

Just like that it started. 

He’d show up at your job, always bringing coffee or something sweet. You were pretty certain that some of your co-workers had let slip what you enjoyed to the charming congressmen. It also helped that he never missed an event. Barnes was old-fashioned that way; he didn’t push, didn’t press things, just showed up. Until finally you gave him your number, and told him if he didn’t set up a date, you would. 

He picked you up at your place, flowers in hand, opening up your door and pulling out your chair. The place was small, tucked away in Brooklyn. The owner knew him by name, you caught him giving a thumbs up to James, Bucky. 

You knew then that you’d have taken him home that night. Months of talking and flirting, it had felt right. But after making out in his car like you were fourteen again, he’d walked you to your door, kissed your forehead, and walked back to his car. Promising it would be worth the wait.

That had been four dates ago, several coffees, and a dozen run-ins, and you were not waiting any longer. The man was going to be the death of you, and you were determined to get him through that door somehow. 

“So, I am leaving in about fifteen, going to stay at Chad’s place,” Your roommate, Dahlia, said from the other side of the door. “And I really need to pee!” She grumbles, “Isn’t this like your five hundredths date, is he impotent or something?” 

You open the door with a huff, “No, He is not impotent.” Stopping for a second you think of that. “Okay, just because he is over a hundred years old, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t work.”

Her eyes narrow, “So then why has it taken him so long? Look at you, you’re a ten everyday. And he’s just dragging it out.” 

“Oh hush. I am six on a good day.” You roll your eyes. “He’s just.” Your cheeks flush, making Dahlia gag as she checks her hair in the mirror. “Different, doesn’t like to rush things. Beside, this, what, your eighth time going back to Chad? You can do better.” 

It was Dahlia’s turn to roll her eyes. “Unfortunately, guys from the forties don’t just appear at my work like they do yours. And the sex is good.”

You wrinkle your face, checking that you have all your stuff in your purse. Phone buzzing in your hand. 

Bucky <3 : Be there in five. Can’t wait to see you.

The flush that creeps up your neck is totally normal, you tell yourself.

“Alright, hot stuff, I am out of here.” Dahlia grins, twirling a piece of her hair with her fingers. “Going to want all the details about your old man.”

You groan and she winks before taking off into the night. Checking yourself for the tenth time, you wonder if you’re overdoing it. The dress is emerald green, sweetheart neckline, long flowing sleeves, and mid-thigh slit. You wore black heels that weren’t too high, and a clutch that matched it. Chewing on your lip, you almost decided to change into something different when a knock came at the door. 

Butterflies erupt in your stomach, and you decide it's now or never. Walking over to the door to open it. Bucky stands on the other side, wearing black on black, the top couple buttons on his dress shirt undone, hair ruffled back as he takes you in. 

“Wow,” He blinked, his tongue wetting his lips. “You look fantastic.”

You let out a small giggle, “Not so bad yourself, Sergeant Barnes.” 

He chuckles, holding his arm out for you to take. You close the door behind you, grabbing his arm to start the way to his car. 

“It isn’t too much is it?” You ask quietly, as he goes to open the door. 

His eyes crinkle as he looks at you over again, “Never is, when it’s you.”

You roll your eyes and pat his hand before getting into the car. 

Dinner was at a steakhouse downtown, it wasn’t where either of you normally went, but man was the food delicious. Bucky told stories of dealing with the press, you had no idea how he managed all of it, and learning how to be press ready. Something along the lines of saying worry four times in one interview, didn’t seem to work well for them. You told him about fighting for grants and funding. That, despite the endless amount of paperwork, you still had more to do.

He’d hold your hand with his gloved one, thumb running over the top of your knuckles. Watching you closely as you spoke of troubles and worries you had. Reaffirming that you would figure it out, and he’d do what he could help. It was easy, it always had been. The way he understood without being patronizing, supportive, and not overbearing. Like the whole world stopped when you spoke.

Meal finished you sat, finishing up your glass of wine and Bucky sipping on whiskey.

“I was thinking-”  “Would you-”

Both of you are stumbling over your words. 

You bite your lip before holding up a hand, “No, no, go first.” 

His cheeks stained pink, “Would you like to come to my place?” Swallowing, his eyes glancing down at were your hands are linked. “Umm, tonight.”

Grinning, you nod, “I would love that. Was going to invite you into mine.”

His eyebrows go up, “Really? Got tired of waiting?”

Your face flushes, “I’d wait for you.” You reach over and grab both his hands in yours across the table. “But I am certainly not going to say, no.”

The bill is paid for quickly, the air between you is now charged more than normal, his hands don’t stop touching you. He holds your hand at the table as the bill is paid, as you get up to leave, his hand slides gently onto the small of your back. In the car, his large palm slips gently past the fabric of your dress to rest warmly on your thigh. 

Your skin prickles with heat, goosebumps running up your neck, when he squeezes slightly. His eyes on the road, but they glance over at your more, that unspoken quietness that has you wanting to pull the car over. Low music playing in the background, but your mind is starting to melt. It was finally happening, and you were surprisingly more excited than anxious.

He pulls up in front of a small apartment complex, it’s in a quieter, older end of the city. It should surprise you, but it doesn't, it’s perfectly Bucky. Stepping out into the cool night air you look at the area. It’s older, less generatified than many, small stores underneath the apartments. An older lady walks by, with a small white fluffy dog, saying hello to Bucky. She gives you a smile and a wink, and of course he is known by everyone. 

Grabbing your hand, he leans down and gives you a quick kiss, before guiding you inside. You follow eagerly, face already flushed as you ascend the set of stairs. Cursing slightly at the fact that you decided to wear heels. 

“Hold on,” Bucky whispers at a landing, before he is picking you up, one arm under your legs, the other holding your back. You let out a squeak before wrapping  your arms around his neck.

“Got to warn a girl, Bucky,” You giggle, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

“Can’t have you worn out before we get up there now.” Bucky replies, before easily carrying you up the next flight of stairs 

He unlocks the door with one hand and pushes it open. He flicks on a light to reveal his home. The lights are dim, older fixtures that he has clearly restored, bathing the place in a warm glow. The kitchen is tidy, a rack of dishes sits on the counter, and a coffee pot half filled. The living room has a worn sofa, with a wall of bookcases, full of worn books, and a small tv in the corner that definitely has dust on it. It’s cozy and comfortable, a space clearly cherished and lived in. 

He carefully lowers you to the ground, you lean up to kiss him again, your fingers running through the hair along the back of his neck. He kisses you back, hand coming up to cup your jaw. Thumb making lazy circles over your cheekbones. You nip at his lips, hearing him let out a small groan, his free hand sliding to your hip. 

Pulling back, he leans his forehead against yours, a small smile spreading over his face. “Let’s get these shoes off.”

You hum, watching him kneel down in front of you, heart stuttering in your chest when he looks up at you. Blue eyes framed by dark hair, a warm hand sliding down your calf, as a cool one slips down over your heel and pops it off. He moves over to the next one, cool hand sliding up along your leg, his eyes following it. The other heel hits the ground, the metal of his hand stays on your calf, moving up and pushing the slit of your dress open slightly. He leans forward and kisses the skin on the inside of your knee. 

A shiver runs down your spine as your foot hits the cool wood floor below your feet. You hold a hand out, that Bucky takes, standing up, he leans down to kiss you again. Pulling you tight against his chest, you hear your heart thumping in your ears as your hands reach up to cup his face. His hands move to your hips, fingers digging into the material as he opens his mouth to nip at your lips. A small groan escapes as your tongue pushes into his mouth. The taste of whisky and him making your toes curl.

“You taste so sweet,” He murmurs, slowly pushing you past the kitchen, towards a short hallway.

Your back hits the door, and both of you fumble for the handle. It opens, and you both topple forward. You are pretty sure the neighbors hear you nearly scream as you fall. Bucky catches you and rolls so that you land on top of him. A giggle erupts out of both of you as you lie there in a tangle of limbs.

“Not what I had planned,” Bucky murmurs, his cheeks gone pink. It only furthers your giggling fit, burying your head against his chest. 

“Guess you could say you swept me off my feet.” Your own face red from the ridiculous jokes.

Bucky groans, eyes rolling, “Been reduced to Dad jokes.”

You continue the gigglefest, as the two of you get up off the floor. It was hard not to feel a little silly around him, he had that effect. Walls sliding down easily, making you feel safe, like no one else could.

“Where were we?” You lean into him, one hand on his chest, the other coming up to cup his jaw. 

He leans against your palm, eyes closing, as he breathes you in. The stubble on his cheeks makes your fingers tingle, as you rub small circles into the skin. Fingers run from our hips up along your sides, a shiver running down your spine, making you squirm. Pulling you closer his hands move to your back find the zipper, he leans in close to your ear.

“Think you’re wearing too many clothes,” He whispers into your ear, his voice a deep growl that makes the hair on your arms stand up. “Turn around.”

A shudder comes out, you do what he asks and turn around. Warm fingers find the zipper and slowly pull it down, as the teeth click, a cool finger runs down the now bare skin. A gasp escapes from your lips, his hands moving from your back up to the sleeves of the dress, slowly pushing them down your arms. His lips find your skin, kissing along the top of your shoulder. You shrug the dress down one shoulder, his hand pushing the other down. The dress slides down to your hips, pooling fabric around your waist. Bucky’s lips don’t stop moving. He kisses slowly down your shoulder as his arms wrap around your waist. Clothed body pressing behind you, one hand moving to cup at your breast. 

“Bucky,” You whisper, your head tipping back against him. Groaning as his one hand moves down and pushes the rest of your dress down. 

“Turn around,” He hushes, kissing down along your neck. His teeth scraped against the skin, your mind turning to mush as you turn to face him. 

You stand there nearly bare, save for a matching set of black underwear and bra, watching him look you over. His cool eyes going down along your skin, eyes moving along you like he was trying to burn the memory of you into his mind, 

“You’re stunning,” He whispers, holding your gaze. “You tell me if it’s too much.”

You nod, it wasn't, it couldn’t be, not with him. Right there you’d do just about anything he would ask. “I will, but it’s not. It’s never too much.”

A small smirk crosses his face, his shoulders roll as he pushes his suit jacket off. Fingers moving up to do the buttons, you move forward wanting to help, but he holds up a hand, stopping you. Butterflies blossom in your stomach as you stand back. Watching as he undoes the buttons, fingers easily slipping them out of each slot. He pulls the shirt out from the waistband of his pants, pushing the material back off his chest. You swallow, watching the wide expanse of his chest appear, the way his movement flexes the muscles. Hands clenching against your bare thigh with the need to touch.

The shirt snags where his shoulder and arm meet on the left side, his face scrunching in frustration at the material. You don’t hesitate, moving forward, one hand rest on his pec and the other goes over to the caught fabric. Sliding a finger underneath, you carefully work the fabric out before pushing it down. His body stills, his eyes flicking down to you. You hold his gaze as the shirt drops down, finger moving along his skin. Feeling the different scars that dot his chest, you flick down to the large scar where the metal meets the skin. 

You don’t ask, instead leaning down to kiss at some of the smaller scars, watching his breath hitch as you move over. Keeping your eyes on his you kiss down the ragged edges of his scar, you can hear his heart start to pick up. You start at the top of his shoulder, going down along it, leaving your kiss light, soft, leaving room for him to tell you to stop. Moving your hands, you reach up to gently touch his face, leaning on your toes, you kiss him softly. 

“All the details, the stories,” You whisper quietly. “I want to know every one of them.” 

A shutter rattles his body, and his hands are on you. Finger digging into your hips, as his lips crash into yours, it is hungry and desperate. You kiss back against the onslaught, your hands weaving into his hair, pulling just enough to anchor you to him. He backs you up slowly, your legs hitting the edge of the bed. 

“Fuck, wanted to do this for so long,” Bucky groans, kissing down your neck, as you both fall back against the bed. 

Your hands move down to his belt, and he swats them away. You moan. “Buckyyy, please.”

“Not yet, sweetheart. Want to make it a night to remember.” He smirks, resting so that he is leaning over top of you.

“It already is,” You complain, hands running along his chest and down his arms, squeezing at them.

He leans forward, kissing down your neck, down along your shoulder, around your collarbones. Resting on his metal arm, he uses his free hand to reach behind you and unclip your bra. Arching your back, you help him free it before his mouth moves again. Hand kneading at your breast, making you hiss as he leans down to suck at one of your nipples. A whimper leaves your lips as he laps at it, teeth scraping at the sensitive bud. 

Whimpering your hands move to grab at his back. The metal hand moves quickly snatching both of your wrists and pinning them above your head. 

“You squirm so much,” He grins, holding you steady as you pout. Kissing your pout, he switches to the other nipple, making you squirm more, breathy pants coming as you feel heat pulse in your core. 

“Goddamn, you’re such a tease.” You huff, now trying to arch your hips up for some friction. 

Bucky grumbles, shifting so that his legs spread yours open, making it difficult for you to try and move up. The more you struggle, the more he grins, and he goes back to kissing down your body, stretching as far as he can reach with your hands pinned. 

“I am going to let go,” His eyes are dark with need, desire, swirling in the air. “If you move I stop.”

“Ahh, I should have known you were kinky.” You yip back, trying not to squirm. “It’s always the quiet ones-” Your breath is suddenly sucked out of your lungs, when he tongues just below your naval. 

His teeth nip harder here, making you shiver, he licks and sucks after each bite, leaving a squiggling line of bruises across your lower stomach. Going further down, his tongue moves down and licks along the edge of your panties. 

Your body clenches as you try not to squirm, fist balling up the soft bedding underneath. Nearly losing it when you look down to see him lying between your legs, hands holding onto your hips, as he grabs onto your panties with his teeth. Bucky looks up at your eyes, connecting with yours as he works them down. Moving them just enough that he can get where he wants to go. Eyes pinning you in place as he leans forward, thumbs pushing your fold open as his tongue flicks out and tastes you. 

A whimper leaves your mouth, as his eyes close, he pushes forward eagerly, tongue taking a deep sweep as he groans. The vibrations have your hands fisted in the sheets, mind melting into a puddle as he continues to lick into your core.��

“Please,” You whimper, legs shaking as his nose brushes against your clit. “Let me touch you.”

His head raises, lips and chin soaked in your slick, which just makes you want to reach for him more. Bucky shakes his head. Before doubling his efforts, he moves his left hand down, running the cool metal along where your thigh and core meet. Mouth moving up to nip at your folds, making you buck up, just as one of the cold metal fingers slips inside.

“Oh fuck,” You gasp, he stops moving for a second, eyes focused on your face as he starts to work one finger in and out. 

Keening, your hips move down against the friction, it's not enough. As if reading your mind, he slips another finger in. Scissoring them and opening you up, heat starting to grow in your stomach. A cry leaving as he latches onto your clit, sucking and humming, the slow pace picking up as his fingers move deeper. They curl up looking for the spongy spot, when he hits your eyes slam shut body pulsing as he keeps moving. Fingers moving up and pressing at it over and over, combined with him sucking and humming on your clit has you teetering on the edge. 

“I am-” Your breath stutters as he pops off your clit. “Don’t you dare stop.” 

Grinning he moves his tongue down to wear his fingers are, scissoring you open so he can stick his tongue deep inside. 

“Goddamnit, Bucky please. Please.” You’re begging, the edge of release is right there, just under his tongue. 

The bastard chuckles, leaning forward to blow on your clit, “So pretty when you beg.”

You don’t have time to curse him out, as he latches back onto your clit, tongue swirling around as his fingers push up and against the spot. Eyes opening wide, mouth agape in a slight scream as pleasure washes over you. He doesn’t stop moving and sucking against you. The feeling keeps building, the fire growing, tingling out through your lower abdomen. It’s not enough and too much at the same time. You couldn’t help but let your fingers finally card into his hair, they clenched in and out. 

Bucky finally eases up, your thighs shaking as you try to find words in the haze. He moves up fingers, carefully slipping out of you, and you let out a huff at losing the sensation. Hands coming to cup his face, you bring him closer and kiss him, tongue pushing in so that you can taste a mix of you both.

“You broke the rules,” He teases, kissing the tip of your nose. His body is not quite laying on top of yours. 

A small giggles leave your mouth, “Still can’t think straight.” Your hands move down along his broad back, “Next time you’re just going to have to tie me up.”

Bucky grins, eyes crinkling as he kisses along your jaw. “Next time huh?”

Your hands roam down over his still cloth covered lower half, you squeeze his ass with one hand, the other moving to his front to work his belt open. 

“Many more times,” You grin, kissing his forehead as you slide the belt out. 

He sits back up, standing, and slides his pants and underwear down in one motion. Revealing his straining cock, it bumps against his lower abdomen, leaking enough to leave a mark there. You stare a little longer than you mean to, before your eyes flick back up to his. He smirks and crawls back onto the bed, his arms encasing you as he peers down at you. 

“So many promises,” He whispers, his metal arm hikes up one of your thighs as his mouth finds yours. 

Gasp escapes your lips as the thick tip of cock rubs against your folds, you are going to feel this, every bit of it. His hand drags you closer, letting you start to sink into it, and the feel of him starts to stretch you. Your hands digging into the flesh of his back. Moving your hips, you finally get him to sink deeper.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” He hushes, kissing down along your jaw, tongue running from below your ear and down your neck. He found the spot where your shoulder met your neck and latched onto it.

He sinks all the way in, your mouth opens, gasping his name, throwing your other leg over top of his hips. Rocking up to meet his hips, your bodies flush where you join. He waits a moment, and you want to scream for him to move, to do something. So full, body aching and fluttering around him, still sensitive from your release earlier. 

Finally, he moves, slowly pulling out, then sliding back in, he moans into your ear. Saying your name softly as he continues to move, at a steady, unrelenting pace. One of your hands grips his hip, the other running into his hair, pulling him into a devastating kiss. You pull back, resting your forehead against his, his face slack with pleasure, yet lined as he holds back. 

“Don’t hold back,” You whisper quietly, leaning in to bite at his lip.

Something snaps in the air, his hips still for a moment, then his hands are gripping your hips, dragging you up onto his lap. His hips snap up making you gasp, strong arms wrapping around you as he starts to fuck in earnst. You can feel how deep he sits inside you, the way your stretched out, mind going fuzzy with the sound of your bodies filling the air. Nothing holds him back, you just cling onto him, mind goes blank. Your hand moves between you, rubbing at your clit. Making your insides spasm around him. 

“I am so close,” He whispers, grunting with the effort, muscle straining as he pumps into you. “Where?”

You kean, feeling your own pleasure renewing and blooming out. “Inisde, fuck please, inside me.” 

His mouth latches onto the top of your shoulder, biting hard, and a shout rips out of you as you come. Your eyes rolling back in the fog of pleasure and pain, making your whole body clench around him. His body spasms as he holds you close. His own body tensing, breath in short pants, heart hammering as he keeps pumping into you over and over. Metal hand placed on your lower back, as his rhythm falters, you feel him slam in cock twitching as he spills inside you. 

Breath still in short pants, you both collapse onto the bed, Bucky still holding you tight against his warm body. His heart just under your ear, body aching in the best way possible. Sweat and hair mingled together as you lay there happily. 

“You okay?” He whisper hands rubbing gently up and down your ribs, you could still feel him inside you.

“Mmhmm,” You mumble, trying to find words that seem to have left your brain. “Think you broke me.”

You felt him tense up at the words, you smack at his arm. “Not like that.” You giggle leaving light kisses across his hot skin. “Just a little foggy.”

He relaxes, moving so he can look at you, “That good or bad?”

You lean back grabbing a pillow to shove under both of your heads. “So, so good.”

He kisses you quietly, carefully unwrapping your legs from his before pulling out. You grumble at losing the feeling , but don’t hesitate to smack his butt as he goes to leave. 

“Behave,” He says with a grin. “Be right back.”

You groan, shifting a little, kicking and moving the blankets so that you can crawl underneath. The sheets were soft and comfortable, your head still riding the high of the orgasm. You could get used to this, a small smile crosses your face. 

Bucky slips in, two glasses of water in one large hand, another holds a washcloth. He puts the drink down, flipping the covers up, he grabs your ankles and drags you closer to him.

“You love to manhandle me,” You giggles, letting him carefully clean up the mess between your legs. 

“Think you like it as much as I do,” He grins, before tossing the towel into a basket near the closet.

You nod your head as you take the water glass, taking a few stips, “Not used to being thrown around, can’t say I mind.”

He drinks his own water, before crawling into bed beside you. “Good, cause you still owe me for breaking the rules.” 

~*~*~*~*~*

Let me know if you enjoyed it <3 Reblog, comment, like, more to cum *cough*

[neunnnnnnn]

A shifting storytime that no one asked for 🫶🏾

🙆🏾‍♀️it's a bit long.

Alright so once again the people around me decide to pmo so then I remember this magnificent juicy gift that I discovered by accident one day then I'm like you know what fuck everyone I'm getting out of here for a while.

I didn't even wait until nightime and I go take a nap, I didn't really do a method? I just listened to a calm subliminal while I counted BACKWARDS! That shits kinda weird because I kept drifting to other stuff but I like how "awake" it keeps me. Anyway my intention was an awake shift because I had recently learned that symptoms are actually signs that you consciousness, soul idk... Is trying to leave your body. So at around 23 I start feeling like there is this SHARP ringing and it's was loud and scratchy but I'm like no I'm not giving up and I say affirmation after affirmation because I could literally feel like my body was resisting, my eyes we even opening and I could see my room but I told myself that I'm not giving in.

Tbh you really need the willpower if you are going to shift awake.

Time isn't real so idk how long I was "fighting" but It felt like seconds then my subliminal stops playing and it changes to a song, I'm guessing by Justin Timberlake? Anyway so ofc my eyes are still closed and I panic tf out but then I'm like, " Hehe I fucking shifted!!" I open my eyes and guess what.... I have sleep paralysis 🥲. But looking around my room I had a lot of posters from Michael Jackson to one direction to Ariana Grande etc, so my guess was that I'm definitely in the year 2013-2015. I wield myself out of the sleep paralysis and my body is extremely heavy and feel a bit light headed, it was definitely summer because it was hot as hell!! Anyway I walk around my room and I'm looking at everything and trying to adjust to the fact that I just had to fight my body for this( and it was worth it!!)

I quickly realise that it's not any of my dr's so atp I'm like Idc I'm still staying. I look in the mirror and I notice that I am skinner and I have red hair with an anchor tattoo on my chest ( the girlies were also popping!!🙂‍↕️) I go downstairs and my parents are a different race. So I was like, "yeah I'm definitely adopted in this reality" I have an older brother that was definitely emo and a younger sister but she's my sister from my cr.

I act normal and head over to the living room and my dad stops me and tells me that my little sister wanted to go with my brother for a walk and asked if I wanted to go with them, so I say yes and right on que my brother comes down all dressed up and that's when I realise that I'm still in my pyjamas so I excuse myself and go change. Words cannot describe the joy I always feel when I open a closet and find clothes that I've ALWAYS wanted to wear 😭 anyway I dress up ( 2015 style because there's no other way?) we are at a park and I'm just looking around, really taking in everything because even though I've shifted before, it will NEVER fail to amaze me that we can literally hop from one reality to another, it will never fail to amaze me tbh. Like I'm currently sitting in a park with a different family, name, country?!

I wish I did something interesting but we just sat and chatted and got to know about the family I was in. I stayed there for 2 days before realising that I was going to open school soon and I was a senior?!! 😭 Like no thanks I finished highschool, then I went to sleep that night, with the intention of shifting back here.

~ For my subliminal users, the sub I used ⬇️

https://youtu.be/A67unsIchbU?si=fLzUqVSPhL90SZWV

[dailyadventureprompts]

Overhauling Exploration with the Illuminated Room System

Artsource

Despite playing D&D for over 20 years, every so often I'll encounter a bit of DM advice that completely changes the way I run my games. When it happens, it often feels like I've discovered a way we were always SUPPOSED to be playing, solving a problem that I'd had for years and sending me into a rage spiral about why no one seemed to figure this out back when I was first learning the game.

Lo and behold, two of my favourite online DM channels happen to hit upon the same idea mere months apart.

TLDR: To improve the efficiency and clarity of our exploration based gameplay, we should borrow from videogame UI design which makes it easy for players to know what to do by highlighting things players can interact with. From there, escape room design takes over, as interaction reveals new information, challenges, and puzzles. 

More ideas about how to use this system (and my own ideas about spicing it up) under the cut.

Again, I cannot overstate how much this technique has overhauled my games, improving everything from dungeoncrawls to mystery investigations. It’s succinct, it’s direct, it’s easy to both design around and run at the table.  It helps focus the party on what’s been prepped without restricting their options, and it’s even communicable to other games like MOTW. 

One of the things I like most about it is that it’s scalable: while the system works to describe individual rooms, you can also use it to describe entire floors in larger structures, or even regions of wilderness for far ranging adventures.  You can even mix and match, detailing the exterior region around the dungeon as the party searches for an entrance before zooming in to smaller and smaller areas. 

Tips and tricks:

Since this system is all about revealing information, it’s important you know what that information is pointing to. What’s your party’s goal in the dungeon? Are they exploring ? Give them information about the background of the area? Are they looking for something specific? Hints and clues towards its actual location (though they may need to connect the dots).  You can also use this hidden information to forecast future threats, or tempt them onto exploration sidetracks.  

On that same topic, you can give your dungeons a sense of life and history by connecting a few of these points of interest into their own narrative threads. Escalate the threat of a haunted tomb by leaving clues about a group of thieves who tried to delve it beforehand. Play up the chaos and comedy of an absentminded mage by leaving his research notes scattered about. Players are completionist by nature, and humanizing the lore will only make them want to know the endings even more. 

MIx minor hazards into your investigation to keep things interesting. A chance for minor damage or afflictions every couple of “rooms” will keep the party on edge without punishing them for their curiosity. You can also through a more major threat in there (room level trap, lurking combat encounter, debilitating curse), but in this instance the “highlighting” should give the party a chance of not getting ambushed. 

I like to pair the illuminated room system with my framework for random encounters, having every “round” of exploration adding a unit of time. I also let my players spend time to  “brute force” any of the failed rolls they might have suffered, (fully tossing a room looking for a single journal, trying every combination on a safe etc.)

You can even have illuminated room exploration in the aftermath of the battle, mixing clues dropped by the party’s foes with things that were already in the area.  This is a great way to double up during the dungeon design process, designing a setpiece combat arena as a place of investigation and viceversa. 

[redandgreyscale]

Rosekiller is consuming my brain, I physically cannot think about anything else so have this!

nsfw, I want to warn that everything shown is consensual and that asexuality is a spectrum, keep that in mind.

"I want to try something new" Evan says one evening as they lay side by side on his bed. They weren't really talking about anything, just laying there, spending time together in a comfortable silence.

"What is it?" Barty asks, his eyes still closed, hands clasped behind his neck.

"I want to help you with, uhm, sex" Barty sits up so fast he gets dizzy.

"What!?"

They've been dating for more than a year, and this is the first time Evan has shown any kind of interest in that. He gets the reaction, but he's been thinking about it for a while, he doesn't like being touched, doesn't like having a boner or getting off himself, but for the first time he feels curious about watching someone else do it. And he knows he can trust Barty with this.

"I want to help you"

"I'm going to need a better explanation for this" Barty retorts. Yeah, makes sense "You're not saying it because you think that's what I want, are you?"

"Not at all" he sits up too and stares at his boyfriend.

"you sure?"

"hundred percent sure" Barty looks at him for a bit, trying to decipher what is going on, in the end he just sighs and asks for an explanation. "I want to see you get off" he can tell Barty likes that immediately "and maybe, I don't know, kiss you through it or something"

"okay" he agrees in a second, wild eyes looking at him "wanna set any ground rules?"

"you already know them" Evan smiles softly. They've talked about that too many times. It has been trial and error, but they have it down to a science at this point.

"Only touching your upper body" Barty still makes it clear, and Evan nods "and you can stop it at any time, don't feel bad for it"

"I won't"

"Can I kiss you?" Barty sounds so eager, almost desperate. God it stirs something inside Evan.

"Please do"

Barty lets him do everything he wants to do. Evan touches his chest, and Barty lets him, Evan tugs at his hair and Barty moans, Evan palms at him over his underwear and Barty almost ends it all right then and there, but Evan quickly reels back. Nope, he's not touching that. Not good.

"kiss my neck" Barty asks, his back pressed to Evan's chest now, so Evan does. He kisses and bites Barty's neck like his life depends on it, that is something he's always enjoyed, and watches him squirm under every single touch, his own hands on Barty's waist grabbing hard, nails digging through his skin.

Barty looks so beautiful like this, soft moans leaving his mouth as he chases his own release. Evan stares. He stares a lot. He stares at his swollen, shiny lips and at his sweaty body, he stares at the clawing marks he's leaving on his waist and he stares at how Barty's hand moves over his own dick. Evan stares at every jerk of his body, at every shudder, at every whimper.

"choke me" Barty asks eventually, more like a whimper, a plea "please baby" his eyes are closed and head thrown back right onto Evan's shoulder. That is... No, he's not doing that. He has no idea how to.

"No" Evan says, and Barty almost cries out.

"okay then kiss me, please, kiss me please I'm— Oh I'm so close" Barty moves, now laying on his back. Oh, Evan does not want body fluids touching him, nope, definitely not happening.

"be careful" is all he says before kissing Barty with all he has, already breathless too. Barty moans into the kiss, and Evan can feel his body moving, trying to get more friction, more contact, more. So he gives more, his hand clasping onto Barty's inner thigh as close to his dick as he feels comfortable, scratching the skin there. He feels muscles tense under his touch, Barty already a mumbling mess, the kisses losing pace, becoming more sloppy, and he feels as Barty's body jerks with spasms once he ends, going limp in a second. A doll with all its strings cut.

It takes a moment to recover from the high, they lay side by side, sweaty and breathing heavily and dizzy. Evan stares some more at his boyfriend's body, the way his chest moves up and down, the white glistening stains on his stomach and can't help but smile, because oh, oh that was fun. He didn't have to cross boundaries, he can set new ones, he wants to do it again. Watching Barty is fascinating.

"was it good?" Evan asks eagerly, not too sure, and Barty can only laugh a bit about it.

"Yeah, yeah baby it was amazing" he's still breathless, still trying to come back fully "was it good for you?" He looks over at Evan, and he nods too.

"Yeah, it was fun" Evan sits up again, tugging at his own clothes "I'm feeling sticky though, don't like that very much"

"take a shower, I'll be here" Barty doesn't stop smiling even for a second, looking at him with heart eyes "one last kiss?"

[trannyradfem]

Thank you for numbering is because that genuinely does make it a lot easier to respond to.

1.) Yes, I am interacting with real people... who are complete and total strangers. Something I wasn't able to get to in my prior post, but is integral to my belief system, is that nobody can rely solely on external validation to feel ok about themselves; that is not healthy, nor is it a happy way to live. Been there, and done that, because that's what the trans community passively teaches in it's understandable desperation to be humanized by the general public. But you can't keep that mindset forever. It's absolute hell, it's not true activism, and you don't realize all that until you've grown strong enough to the point where things like this don't hurt you anymore. Because all you will feel and see is the pain until then. Not being able to see it doesn't make it any less true. I don't want you to be in pain. I want you to have such a strong sense of self that criticism from a stranger no longer feels like a punch to the gut.

My opinions should not dictate your life or harm you to the extent you're suggesting. I want you to block me if that's the case... and also invite you to curate your online experience more strictly while you take the space and time required to heal from the inherent damage being a constant political target AND suffering from dysphoria inevitably does to us. Being harmed that easily doesn't have to be your permanent reality; it's something that can be improved with resilience training, trauma processing, and being willing to give yourself the opportunity to grow. I wish I could, but I can't do that for you. I can try to tell you how if you're willing to listen. This does involve harsh truths.

You are responsible for curating your own online experience. If posts like these upset you, you can easily block them, and there's nothing wrong wit doing that. You don't need to fight 24/7 in order to be a proper activist-- you will only burn yourself out. If you want to know how to thoroughly block RF content, I don't mind making a post tutorial in order to make that accessible.j But I am not personally responsible for shielding you or anyone else from the things that make you feel bad. I have just as much right to post my thoughts as you do.

This criticism I have is about the scope of the situation, and how it's often exagerrated in order to assign shame and guilt, and ultimately silence opposition. A prime example is how a common response is to tell people they are "literally killing trans women" by... something as insignificant as posting a blog post on their own personal blog. If you think that criticism is an attack on marginalized people overall, then you are proving my point.

2.) Again with the assumptions. You know what TIF stands for, right? "Trans identified female". There is nothing inherently derogatory about that, although you're correct; many RFs DO use it that way. I don't involve myself in spaces where RFs cannot take criticism on that. I don't like hypocrites, afterall. You can't say you're fighting for women when you select specific groups of people you see as women to insult and demean over a genuine medical condition. Thankfully, there are a LOT of radfems who aren't hypocrites about this, and merely use it because they have gripes with how the trans community frames transition. I've found that many of those who feel the strongest about this lived as trans for significant portions of their lives.

In my bio, it's "FTM or TIF or whatever the fuck else you want to call me" in a tone of sarcasm, because if I say it first, it takes away that power for others to use it to insult me. You understand the concept of reclaiming slurs, right? Why am I not allowed to do that?

You also assume the pain you hold when that term is directed at you is the same exact feeling I experience. But it simply isn't; like I said, when you grow resilience (and genuinely stop giving a fuck about what online strangers have to say about you, that just comes with the territory of recovering from being doxxed multiple times), it doesn't hurt anymore. It's hardly a mosquito bite; with zero itching.

But maybe you can use this to understand why I personally hate the word "qu##r", and how it's used as an umbrella term instead of a personal identifier. It's a hard word to like when it's been directed at you countless times while someone beats the shit out of you, or worse, for being gay or trans. Strangely enough, I've never been called a "TIF" irl or during these events. Maybe the youth is different nowadays-- I will admit as an adult I am very disconnected from what goes on in the lives of those who are currently teens. I am open to hearing about your experiences, if that's something you feel inclined to do because I'm missing something here.

Lastly on this topic, I have the right to decide my own label. Pretty sure this belief is integral to most trans rights activists so I'm genuinely confused as to why it's even an issue. If another FTM wants to call himself a "fagdyke" and is comfortable with that, and the trans community generally accepts that, why can't I use "TIF" as one of many (sarcastic) descriptors for myself? Afterall, I'd be lying if I said it isn't somewhat reflective of my own self image. I am simply someone who was born female, who also transitioned. That reflects that.

More specifically, I have a lot of trauma that is exclusive to the female reproductive system and how the medical system treats AFABs overall, and also forms of misogyny that's exclusively rooted in birth sex. To deny my birth sex feels invalidating, like everything I went through never happened at all. Like the excruciating pain of my dysphoria never existed at all or shaped my life the way it did. And I hate that.

My survival and subsequent recovery is a accumulation of my own decisions, and trusting myself. Something I was told constantly by countless abusers that I cannot and should not do. I was also often told that my abuse was not abuse, or that it simply didn't happen, by many, many people, because I was raised in a cultlike environment. My happiness and health in current day is an absolute testament to just how wrong they were. I am female, that is a part of me. That is what makes me transmasc, afterall. It's a unique struggle like any trans struggle is. But so is my transition, it's just as much a part of me, too. And I love both of these truths about myself, because they are who I am.

I don't really fit into a box, and never have. Most labels the trans community has come up with do not describe me. At all. And sometimes, trans identified female simply describes all of that without having to say all that. Because that's what it means to me. Oddly enough, as much as that sounds very trans centered as far as values go, you're the first person who's ever had an issue with it. RFs don't even blink at it because they often go through my blog first to see where I'm coming from, as I have a unique perspective that isn't seen super often publically. They seem to get it without me needing to directly explain it, because those who are RFs often have suffered greatly due to sex based forms of oppression. They just get it, despite potential ideological conflicts. I'm just genuinely suprised you don't, on some level.

To further clarify, I am seen very positively in my social circles, by cis and trans people alike. I mean, I'm a licensed healthcare professional, that comes with the territory, but my reputation is not based on that alone. I've told my trans friends about how I dream of opening my own clinic that specializes in care for trans people, and the type of resources I'd invest into. All of them, even the ones that could come off as controversial. Even friends I've not gotten super close to, and have the total opposite view points from me, have truly touched my heart by cheering me on and telling me I'm the right person to do it. I am often well loved and accepted by the company I choose to be around and open up to.

Similarly, I guide and educate my cis peers-- including countless MDs and parents at this point-- on what being trans is like, and why so many of us can be so very mean sometimes. Because we are hurting, too, and often silently. Because we are casually traumatized constantly. Because we are hurt frequently without reprieve, and then it's justified by the media. Because we are hurt and betrayed by our friends and families when we come out, and no matter what we do, sometimes we can't get it through to them that allowing us to be at peace with our identities is what will truly bring us happiness and self worth. Because we are judged unfairly and by unrealistic standards. And so many, many more reasons that most cis people genuinely need to have explained to them in order to "get it", because they haven't had their lives ever submerged in that before. But once they hear it?

They come to the understanding that constant pain like that is enough to make anyone afraid of being hurt again, and defensive, snappy, and coming off as "mean" to people who simply do not get it. I break it down in a way that makes sense to them, the same way I'm trying to explain my thoughts to you. They're usually pretty amenable to this, and I have been repeatedly regarded as "extremely well educated and compassionate" through my passive work done through casual and calm conversation. I still point out things I think are wrong, or questionable, and allow room for respectful discussion, and make corrections where it's needed. That is all a lot of cis people want, as I refuse to pull out the big "fuck you" guns unless I'm given adequate reason to. Because I've hit a point of recovery where that isn't difficult to do anymore. It used to be incredibly difficult, it used to be my default.

I am thanked for this so often it genuinely scares me just how many of us of all ages are total assholes about it, because that means we are suffering deeply in a way that really looks like it may last forever. I don't want that for us. We used to say, "It gets better", in the LGBT community. I want to bring that back, but it's not all going to be self gratification. That is the truth inherent to any change at all; there will always be growing pains. How we navigate that is what matters.

If you read all that and still think I hate myself, and that my criticism is coming from a place of hatred, I'm not sure what else to tell you. But I can say that it's not very nice to invalidate someone's hard-earned recovery and health.

3.) But that's not how it works out interpersonally. I don't personally owe any individual trans woman my time or compassion if she goes out of her way to harm me, and the same is true for you as well. That's why I say things like, "You do not have to tolerate demeaning bigoted phrases and abuse from trans women". Being an activist needs to be lower priority than that because your wellbeing must come first in order to BE a good activist. That's activism 101. You clearly read what I wrote, but this is such a bad faith interpretation I genuinely wonder how well you read and understood what I wrote, or what tone you even read it in.

Again, you're confusing holding people accountable with outright murdering them or the removal of basic rights. That is not remotely the same thing. Like, seriously. You know I'm pro transition, right? What are we even arguing about here.

Tell me exactly what I'm depriving trans women of by telling trans mascs that abuse from trans women is unacceptable, and pointing out the double standard of how you guys will be violent towards "bad" trans mascs, but offer endless sympathy and understanding to "bad" trans women. Go on. How is that bigoted?

If you think this is akin to the removal of basic rights, you have a lot of recovery work to do that I cannot do for you, and nothing I say will ever change that. Yeah, sure, I don't know you, but you've displayed more than enough for me to get an idea of how your thought process works. That tells me much, much more than you think it does.

Again, you are assuming my beliefs and goals. I've asked you plenty of questions, because I cannot assume your beliefs. Why exactly should I give you that respect when you clearly don't hold it for me? Oh wait... isn't that literally your argument? That respecting marginalized people shouldn't be based on approval, beliefs, or conduct? Yknow, the respect I've extended to you? Come onnnn. You're doing the thing you say you hate, and then saying I'm the one doing it! That's genuinely called projection and gaslighting. My father did it a ton when he would abuse me. You do not have the right to do that no matter what I believe in, even by your own standards. Which, yes, at this point absolutely do look incredibly flimsy based on your conduct.

I will, as what is consistent with my self worth in any other situation, despite your assertations, block you if you continue to do that. That is not an ok way to interact with others, especially not other marginalized folk. Per your own values.

4.) Haha wait a second, so trans women are totally innocent for using an intersex slur to make a bigoted political faction, but me-- who is literally undergoing workup and diagnosis for being intersex atm-- using it uncensored makes me awful, and being a radfem-- something TRAs like you assigned to me against my will until I gave up fighting it-- wholly responsible for the trauma you claim trans women experience... at the hands of trans mascs? Yeah, right. The statistics say otherwise; by and large transfems victimize transmascs far more often than we ever do to them. That's exactly WHY I stress that we don't have to tolerate that behavior from them. Because it is so common. But you're never going to hear what I'm actually saying, are you?

All you're really saying is that trans women always matter more trans mascs, but in obfuscating language so you don't have to directly admit it. The exact thing I have a problem with, and the exact thing my original post was about in the first place. The point has gone so far over your head it's in a different zipcode.

That could not get more bad faith if you tried. I think this will the the last point I respond to. I can't even make myself read the rest of your #4 atp.

Just do me a favor. Replace "baeddel" with "TERF" and "trans woman" with "trans masc", and tell me how that's any different. Why do TERFs-- mostly marginalized female people who have been severely harmed and traumatized-- deserve rape, harassment, murder, and death, but baeddels deserve all the love and compassion in the world? There's really no getting through to you, huh?

This is the exact problem I'm talking about, and you are so badly whipped and brainwashed about it you're a massive hypocrite and totally blind to it, despite your own supposed moral stringency. You're not even arguing with me. You're arguing with the figment of your imagination you've made me out to be.

Genuinely, take a break from activism. You're filled with hatred and not thinking clearly to the extent of borderline psychosis. You are boxing with shadows and attempting to use me as the all-responsible party for the collective harm TERFs have caused to trans people, which you can't even elaborate what that even IS without justifying the very real, shitty things trans women have done to us first that even YOU can't deny.

Also? Me acknowledging what the trans community generally believes and directly says to me isn't assigning that to you, it's writing to a broader audience than just you. Because this is my blog. That other people read. But for the record, it IS worth you considering, because clearly these things have an impact on other trans people that isn't as positive as you're convinced it always is.

When you say it's ok for trans women to hurt others because they've been hurt, but condemn transmascs when we speak up about it? Yeah, no, you just hate AFABs. You're also treating trans women like men atp. Because that's the lack of accountability cishet men consistently get when they do horrible shit. We really can't be accountable here? We really have to go and mimic male-female dynamics we say we try so hard to get away from? God, how I wish you understood how fucked up this all is.

You're allowed to feel hurt from the things you've gone through, but you're not allowed to use that to demean others like you've done here to me, or justifying the abuse I've gone through at the hands of baeddels. Again, this is why I have to be a radfem, and why there will continue to be more and more radfem transmascs. Because absolutely nobody else will stand up for trans mascs without bending over backwards for trans women, all out of fear of wrongfully being labeled a bigot when they rightfully criticize individual trans women who have genuinely done shitty things. Because people like you value a potential trans woman over real trans mascs who have already suffered harm. This is exactly the point I've been making this entire time, and I have no idea why you can't just humanize me enough to respond based on what I've actually said, and not what you think I'm going to say.

Like many things here, that's on you; not me.

uvb76fan is posting in this tag talking about all the ways trans men have it “worse”, while misrepresenting the statistic she is citing. most likely banking on no one looking closer or reading the links.

this person is a terf. if you search trans on her blog it is immediately clear, i am not using terf loosely she is literally actually a terf.

we cannot let our weariness at not being heard by some of our community push us into the sick and malformed arms of transmisogyny and radical feminism, these people do not care about us at all, they are trying to harm every single one of us. our solidarity with trans women, men and people as whole should cause us to slam hard on the breaks. no matter how many trans women you see being antitransmasculine it does not mean that there are not so many more who are our genuine allies, do not let the algorithm pushing hateful person after hateful person your way skew your understandings. the transphobes want dissent, they want us to tear each other apart. we do not need to contribute to the harm to have ours lessened. (causing harm to a vulnerable minority is never morally correct no matter what got you there in the first place. also straight up trans women are easy to love and are inherently deeply deserving of community solidarity, and fascism (which terfs are) should not have any appeal whatsoever no matter how hurt you are but i digress.)

on another note: we cannot and must not reactively take on the mentalities of trans rad fems, no gender in the trans community needs to be the most oppressed to be taken seriously and given respect in our community, the equality in our suffering is immense and must be acknowledged without each group needing to prove we are the most victimized to get the care and community support we need. this is harmful no matter who is doing it. we absolutely must nip this kind of thinking in the bud.

push back on terfs in this tag everywhere you can, and if there is a reason you cannot comment or reblog to shut them down, block them on sight.

[b1rds0fpr3y]

Hai your aesthetic is so cute omg!! Any dating headcanons for wally west? ^-^ can be SFW or NEFW, as you like it!

haiiiii anon, tysmmmm! i loved writing this i hope you love ittt!! ^w^

WALLY WEST HCS!!

warnings: mentions of lipstick, aftercare, pda, nsfw content (mdni) , small mentions of rough sex, praise.

sfw!

as we know wally is fast paced. whether it's talking, working, saving civilians, basically anything. but as soon as he meets you, life slows down. he feels the need to slow down around you.

you're calm after the storm. when he comes home from parading around the city, needing just an inch of normalcy, he knows you'll be there. baking, reading, talking on the phone, or even sleeping. he knows once he sees you he doesn't need to worry, he doesn't need to speed up.

i feel as if when you guys are sleeping together he needs to be CLOSE to you.  and i don't mean being in the same bed. this man needs to be under your skin. so close he wants to feel your heartbeat in his hand. 

even if you complain you're hot, this man will scooch just an inch away thinking it gives you more space. his arms still tight around you, his head still in your neck feeling the pulse of your heartbeat that slowly grounds him after such a long day. 

if you're a league member there is no doubt that wally has been plotting on you since the beginning. 

he'd beg bats to let you two on missions together, or stake outs. whatever this man could get his hands on he'd take it.

and secretly bats was trying to get you two together.

when you guys finally moved in together after dating for over a year, his closet became your closet. his shirts were your shirts. you wore his clothes whenever you wanted, and he never minded, never complained, just blushed. 

you'd wear them to bed, the store, out with your friends, working, whatever it was that you were doing you were most likely wearing one of his shirts. and he never ever minds. because the more you wear his shirts, the more he knows he's yours. 

i just know he would LOVE LOVE LOVE matching costumes for halloween. he would agree to whatever you suggested, no matter how embarrassing it was, he would agree because he knew you would love it. 

i feel like he doesn't necessarily like curse words but he'd use them from time to time, but most likely he'd go with the safer option, not only because he dosen't favor cursing but because it would make you laugh.

you two would be in the middle of a mission and if he got hurt he would just scream anything, i think most likely he would scream "holy guacamole", because he loved that it would get a laugh out of you. even in the most serious situations he KNEW how to get you to laugh. 

wally CRAVESSSS  your kisses. no matter where or what time. all he wants is your lips on him. he would absolutely love it if you left lipstick marks on him (if you wear lipstick). he would just show the mark to EVERYBODY because he loves being yours. 

wally would never ever push you to do something you don't want to do. and this stands for anywhere. he knows your boundaries and what you are comfortable with and he never ever wants to push you out of your comfort zone  unless you say he can. 

he just sends you random things. a random picture of your pet while you're away to a photo of a pickle with no caption. his texts come in all different varieties. 

this man is huge on pda, he just loves to show off how beautiful you are. because who wouldn't want to brag about you, how gorgeous you are.  it isn't huge gestures though, small ones that make a large impact. like putting his hand on the small of your back, guiding you through a crowded walkway or crowd. small kisses on your hands when he directly can't kiss your lips. but trust somehow, some way, he will have his hands on you. 

he loves soft mornings with you, barely awake kisses and hearing your soft snores. he loves the feeling of your breath fanning into his neck. 

nsfw!

this man hates rough sex, HATES IT and LOATHES IT. he cannot stand hurting you or even being mean to you.

the image of him tugging on your hair, or slapping your ass, or even just calling you a slut just hurts his heart.

so he likes to take it slow.

soft touches and soft words. so intimate. He'd have your favorite slow songs playing in the background, lights dimmed, your favorite candles lit. everything you need to feel comfortable. 

back to the pda thing, he just LOVES to tease you in public. on the outside people saw the light kisses and the hand squeezes.

but what they didn't see was the soft brushes of his fingers over your panties as he placed his hand on your thigh softly striking his hand back and forth. 

he'd whisper such dirty things in your ear and to other people they thought it was just sweet nothings and funny pick up lines. 

what he would really say was how he wanted you in bed that night. how good your ass looked,  or even how he can't get the smell of you off his fingers. 

whatever it was, it had you begging for more and blushing like a schoolgirl. 

he would use his powers to the fullest. 

vibrating his fingers just fast enough to get you off in nearly a minute. 

and if that didn't make you want more, he also could get you anywhere he'd love to get you anywhere he wanted you.

he could get to the kitchen, to the shower, to your home office in mere seconds without any warning. 

he talks during sex. more than he should. sometimes there little praise on how good you're taking them or how beautiful you are. he comments on how he couldn't get you out of his mind. or how he had dreamt of this exact  moment. 

aftercare is always so slow and gentle. soft kisses and praise of how good you did. he'll wrap you up in his arms and slights rub his fingers over your cheek and upper torso. 

he will always always  always clean you up. no matter how tired or unwilling he knows you hate having yourself in a mess.

love, annie ꨄ︎

[lilacstarryskies]

Finding A Love Of His Own

Steddie Bingo Round 2 Promptfill

@steddiebingo

Rated: T

Prompt: Date

WC: 1724

AO3 link: here!!!

Tags: Getting Together, Angst & Hurt/Comfort, Steve/OC (just on a blind date for the first half), Modern Setting

——————————

“Listen—I didn’t even want to go on this date.” This immediately made Steve freeze.

He had low hopes, after all, so many of his dates fizzle out badly, but he hadn’t expected something like this so soon.

“You’re a handsome guy, and I—I’m sure you're really nice, but I just cannot go on this date with you.”

They were stuttering with their words, hands waving, face plastered with an apologetic downturn.

Steve didn’t know what to say.

He didn’t think they’d been the one, per se, but there was a glimmer of hope within him that the person Robin and her girlfriend set him up with would like him—maybe even be his, for just a few months, at least; anything to fill the void within him.

He’d been on a losing streak ever since he struck out with Nancy.

He loved her still, platonically, but it was as if he couldn’t date anyone for even half a year ever since he lost her.

Whether it was guys or girls, it seemed all he’d been known for, and would know himself, was the long string of people passing in and out of his bed and right out of his life.

“Why?” he finally uttered out, genuinely wanting to know.

Steve was sick of the little pity party going on in his mind and just wanted this to be over with—but not without getting the gossip he’d surely report to Robin as soon as he escaped the night to their shared flat.

They looked at him with a pitiful gaze, and Steve was just sick of it.

He’d seen this on Nancy when she told him her apologies for being callous with her words during the moment that kickstarted their much-needed end, when he’d end up saying too much to Robin about his personal life, and when his partners would give up on their relationship together.

“Steve, I’m sorry,” they replied, “I’m in love with someone else, and this blind date forced upon me has only made me realise just how badly I need to confess.”

Oh. So it was like that.

Steve couldn’t really blame them for that.

Or, well, he could. But, he’d feel bad about it and likely only do so upon some cajoling from Robin.

For now, he’d sympathise.

It reminded him of how he was after Nancy. He was even with a great girl that senior year after, but was haunted by the remnants of his infatuation with Nancy and just couldn’t put that poor girl through what he was put through—playing second fiddle in a relationship while they desired another.

Steve’s chair creaked as he got up, then making another awfully irritating screech as its legs rubbed against the restaurant’s flooring.

“Right.”

His no-longer-blind date was looking up at his standing frame with earnest, guilty eyes, wondering what Steve was about to continue with.

“This is over,” Steve said to them bluntly, yet not trying to be rude. “If you like this person so much, then ring them right now and tell them the truth.”

They were looking right at him, completely baffled at his acceptance.

“Find your love,” he replied, “And I’ll go back to dates with some other people—who hopefully don’t like another person.” Steve smiled at the end, trying to be disarming, though he only cared a little for their love life.

He mainly cared about getting the fuck out of the restaurant and away from them.

Away from the embarrassment emanating inside him and far away from the love that was within them.

They seemed to heed his words, standing up with a goal in mind, head bowed down as they got up, as they waved their hand about inside their pocket, looking for their phone.

Steve was already walking away; he didn’t want to ruin his night any further and witness their love confession.

He couldn’t bear being a witness to yet another love story while he was alone.

Steve followed their actions as he was outside in the dark, his own hands bumbling around trying to catch his lighter, with him ready to finish a whole cigarette in one go to try and avoid thinking about the complete and utter failure that was tonight.

“—Hey, you got an extra cig on you?”

He turned to face the unexpected voice that shocked him out of motion, turning to find a rather handsome man.

“Um, yeah—sure man,” Steve flailed around, getting another cigarette out.

He tried to act cool, not wanting to show just how much of a mess he was in this moment.

Steve reached out to pass it to the man, immediately having his eyes catch onto a trail of little bats trailing along the upper half of his forearm, the latter half of the tattoos trailing up beside his elbow and the black rolled-up sleeves of the graphic tee the man was wearing.

His hands were large, calloused and veiny, coated with numerous metal rings that were large and domineering; they looked clunky and uncomfortable in Steve’s mind, but perfectly suited to the man beside him.

Steve’s own fingers touched the man’s hand, the whisper of a touch which almost grew longer, becoming a sensation he desired to let linger.

“Thanks, my shift was so awful that I ran out of my supply on my last break and didn’t get a chance to refill, so you really saved me there, to be honest,” the man said, smiling at Steve with such an appreciative—and beautiful—look in his eyes.

“No worries,” Steve replied, finding it so easy to converse with the chill guy before him, “That makes it the two of us, when it comes to shitty nights then, except well I took off work for this and still had a bad night.”

The guy hissed in sympathy, “Ooh, what happened? At least you’re not the only one whose night sucked, I’m your fellow comrade in distress, my liege.”

Steve barked out a laugh at that, loving the weird way the man was speaking, “I was on a blind date my friend set up—trying to get me over my losing streak of failed relationships and string of casual hookups—and the person she and her girlfriend picked as my so-called perfect pair was someone in love with someone else.”

Another hiss of sympathy. “Damn, that’s a bad omen.”

“Yeah, my luck with relationships has been piss-poor ever since goddamn high-school, and this is really the cherry on top of the bullshit that is my life,” Steve replied, turning sour at the end, way too pessimistic to act in front of a guy he has barely known for a minute.

The guy looked up at Steve, taking a hit of his cigarette before responding, “Hey—I bet your luck’s not too bad,” Eddie replied, the beginnings of a smile erupting on his face. “After all, I’m right here with you.” He let out a laugh at his bold line, eyes drilling right up to gauge Steve’s response.

Steve couldn’t help but grin at that, “Yeah, yeah—my good luck bringing me to this alley just so I could whine about my relationship status with some random guy.”

“—I’m no random guy,” the random guy cut in, “You can call me Eddie—”

“Oh, alright, Eddie,” Steve responded, a bold little quip, flirtatious in tone.

“—Or you can call me,” Eddie’s voice grew loud, a playful banter growing between the two, “Your future boyfriend.”

Steve snorted.

He rather liked the sound of that.

After all, anything was better than being alone and stuck in dull dates and hookups that resulted in nothing.

At least, this Eddie guy was quite hot and entertaining—emphasis on hot.

“Okay, future boyfriend,” Steve jested out, wanting to see where this went, at least, for the night. “You can call me Steve.”

“Alright, so now I know my future husband’s name, why don’t we take this further?”

“What, to the bedroom?” Steve was done with hookups, and the growing harshness of his voice illustrated that.

Eddie waved his sour words away, “Nah, let's go somewhere way more fun than that boring ol’ place, I got some cool places in mind.”

“Oh yeah?” Steve was back to being playful.

“Yeah, yeah, I got a fun medieval-themed escape room thats been just calling my name and since my friends are busy, I haven’t had the chance to go, but now with you, my knight-in-shining-armour,” Eddie replied, voice lifting with a quirky joy, “I can finally get right in and live my true calling as a jester!”

“I like the sound of that,” Steve commented, “Though I’ll confess that all I know about the medieval era comes from my high-school classes that I barely listened to.”

“You don’t gotta worry, big boy,” Eddie quipped, “My knowledge of the medieval time only comes from D&D and the glorious mind of Tolkien.”

“Who?”

Eddie pressed his hand onto his chest, dramatically falling, “You don’t know Tolkien?”

Steve’s response didn’t temper Eddie.

His hands lifted up as he explained, “Tolkien is a god of fantasy!”

“Oh!” Steve exclaimed.

Eddie looked on, almost approvingly, wondering what Steve would say.

“I’ve heard of him from these brats I used to babysit!” he declared with a proud look, “He’s that guy who wrote the incest story with dragons, right? My friend had a huge crush on one of the actresses in the weird little show!”

Eddie’s hand quickly returned to his chest in a theatrical manner, too shocked for words.

He then grabbed Steve by the shoulder, patting him on the back, “You’re lucky you’re so gorgeous, that’s sacrilege to my ears.”

“Hey!” Steve let out.

“I’ll still marry you, of course,” Eddie replied, sounding as if this was a genuine compromise, “You can be my knight-in-shining-armour even if you don’t have an idea when it comes to such an icon.”

Steve liked the sound of that.

He’d have fun with this jester-of-a-guy.

His heart was praying for it to grow into something further, unlike his past relationships, and he had a good feeling that he didn’t even need those prayers to get his wish; Eddie’s lovestruck gaze was more than telling for him.

And he’d bet that Eddie was gazing upon a look on Steve’s face that looked awfully similar.

[urloversdreamgrl]

15 Things I Enjoyed About Season 4 🐻

After my second watch of S4, I actually liked it. Compared to S4, it feels like a step in the right direction. It does make you wonder if what happened in S1 and S2 were lightening in a bottle. Nothing's perfect, so I have my qualms, but for now, let's focus on the positive.

Anywho, in no particular order, a couple of things that gave me joy!

(spoilers ahead, chefs)

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1. Ayo Edebriri as THE Sydney Adamu

I cannot speak the praises of Ayo Edebiri enough for me. We know the girl is funny, but her dramatic scenes! She really sucked me in and kept me there. I really admire her work ethic and how you can tell she cares about honing her craft both on and off screen. To me, she gave such a stand-out performance this season. Brava!

Plus, all I wanted from last season was a Sydney-centric focus. I was hoping for just an episode, but she took a way bigger role this time around. It's about time!

And thank you for finally giving Syd her flowers. She's been the heart of the whole restaurant staff since Episode 1, and I'm just glad that they acknowledged that canonically. Not a kinder soul than Ms. Adamu.

2. S4:E4 Worms

Ayo Edebiri and Lionel Boyce wrote the fuck outta that episode. It felt so tender and funny, gave us insight into Syd's internal and private life while also helping her character arc along. Shoutout to Lionel for pushing through his fears and accepting Ayo's offer to co-write. Hoping this open more doors for both of them in the future

I have to give up for the super talented Danielle Deadwyler. She had me cracking up the whole episode as Chantel. Everything felt so real and nature. This whole episode felt like home to me truly. Also Arion King as TJ is such a cutie pie. Hoping this isn't the last time we see Syd's folks. Manifesting an Adamu family party next season (hopefully), so we can see how they get down!

And thank you, Ayo and Lionel, for making my girl unapologetically Black. May their pillows be cool FOREVER!

3. Emmanuel Survives

Fuck them for trying to kill Robert Townsend (who needs to be on my screens more pronto)! I'm going to talk later about Syd and how the show decided to comfort her through this, but for now, that scene where father and daughter are reunited made me cry. Emmanuel's little tear over his baby's head. This relationship to me is so special because Syd really won the dad lottery, and Emmanuel won the daughter lottery.

I'm hoping next season we have Syd finally confiding in and truly opening up to her dad, and her dad being receptive and supportive in a way that I know he can.

4. SydRichie

To my SydRichies, y'all got feed tooooo good. Congratulations! Can't wait to see all the edits. It's crazy to see how their relationship evolved, and I'm so happy about where they are right now. Syd stabbed him just to be his plus-one to his ex-wife's wedding. Girl, Season 1, I thought Richie was irredeemable. Now, I'm rooting for him. That's the beauty of healing and leading with compassion and kindness.

5. Less Montages

Can we just fill this room with thank yous? Rewatching S3, it felt like the whole season was one big montage. Now, I liked some of them, but they should be used in moderation. The Bear tends to meander a lot which I think messes with the pacing, but this season felt like it was closer to finding a balance.

6. Them Gays 🏳️‍🌈

Happy Pride Month to the staff at The Bear, but specifically, Natalie and Chester. I, too, would freak out if my best "friend" was working along side a hot, talented, kind, and charming man in a cramped space, brushing against each other while making the most delicious desserts known to man.

Plus, of course, Nat had a homoerotic friendship turn sour, and of course, it was with Brie Larson lol. Bisexual women, stand up! Honorable mention to Syd's bisexual lightning when she's making them scallops.

7. Carmy Apologizing and Being Honest

It's about time. I was just as gagged as Sydney when Carmen started making her work life a bit easier by putting his ego aside. This is a really good start to him healing himself and to help heal some of the folks he harmed. Emotional regulation is important, and I'm hoping that it continues for him. And I hope that he heals his relationship to cooking. Also, heal his relationship with Syd because after the season finale, she has absolutely no trust (or maybe even good will) towards him anymore; that relationship is his most severed.

8. MarLuca + SydLuca

I'll take Marcus and Luca's relationship every which way. Two adorable, kind-hearted, and sensitive men working on bringing the sweetness of life to people. Perfect, I want 11 of them right now. When they are together, it just like magic to me. You want to talk about true mentorship and friendship? That's them. You want to talk about them being romantic and doing the nasty? I'm listening uwu.

Then I'm thankful for the crumb of Syd and Luca that we got. Just imagine in S5 (if there is one. hopefully), we see these three plus Tina make beautiful magic in that kitchen of love, expression, and understanding. Also, manifesting a love triangle a la Brandy and Monica's "That Boy is Mine" fanfic with Marcus, Syd, and Luca. I need that mess.

9. Richie and Tiffany's Dance

I love Richie and Tiffany's relationship. I love how Richie's journey allows him to earnestly work through his issues so he can still be a family with Tiff and Eva. Although, it looks a bit different.

10. Syd's Wedding Outfit

Syd looked tooo good in this two piece set. The colors and the way it is illuminates her figure. Dare I say -- best dressed? Thank you, Courtney Wheeler.

11. Gary THEE Sommelier + Tina's Dish

I'd trust him with my life. Plus, I loved seeing more of him, and how dedicated he is in learning something new. That's the same reason why I loved seeing Tina making her own dishes at home. These two inspire me. It's never too late to learn something new, and it's courage to keep trying and trying until you get it right. Plus, Tina and her hubbie are such cuties.

12. Marcus & Food and Wine's Best New Chef

At first, I was disappointed that Syd didn't receive the honor. When they kept mentioning her scallop dish, I thought it was her time to shine. However, once I got over my disappointment, I scream! Marcus come-up is crazy!

Mind you, he started at McDonald's, then started making bread, then taught himself how to make cakes and donuts. Went to Copenhagen and learned technique and got better. His mother passes, and he honors her in the most special and healthy of ways. He honors Mickey and Syd in similar ways, too. He's a hard worker, super imaginative/creative, and deserving. I love my Black Boy Baker!

13. Donna's Recovery

I've seen some critiques about how dangerous it can be to not value "no-contact" relationships. I feel that, and I advise everyone to do what feels good and safe to them.

I'm actually in awe of her sobriety and how she's navigated reconnecting to those she's harmed. She's not offended when people become tense or defensive around her, and she's not expecting any miraculous reunions. As a child of an alcoholic who has had to navigate a relationship while my parent is working on bettering themselves, I admire Jamie Lee Curtis's depiction of Donna Berzatto.

People can change. I feel if your eldest son (or any close person in your life) commits, then you should change. You better search inside yourself and work on yourself, especially if you want to help/protect the rest of your loved ones.

I, also, respect Carmy's hesitancy and anxiety. Donna is very traumatizing and triggering, and her parenting helped set a standard for Carmen. He stayed with Chef David and other abusive kitchens, and he replicated that environment because he associated authority with abuse and emotional deregulation. I hope as he works on himself, and maybe his relationship with his mom, he recognizes that he is capable and worthy of peace and love.

14. This Song

Y'all don't understand the connect that me and this song shares. It plays during the scene where Richie makes it snow for the family, and it literally brought me to tears. I've listened to it everyday since, and the album is really something. The lyrics are so touching and the chorus is truly the epitome of what this season is:

'Cause I know that you've been waiting Been such a long time you've been waiting And only you know where you have been to Only you know what you have been through There's better things you're gonna get into And I wanna be there too You know I do

Storer, you can barely write multiple fleshed-out, congruent storylines, but you and Josh Senior know how to pick out a song.

15. S4:E10 Goodbye

Ayo, JAW, and Ebon did what needed to be done. I felt all of that: the anger, sadness, regret, frustration, fear, relief, everything. Now, do I agree that Carmen should leave the restaurant? No, I want him to stay, follow through, and fall in love with cooking again even after they pay off the debt (and stop dumping Syd with his messes when his emotions need managing). However, I, also, see his point. He does need a change.

Richie and Carmy finally have the talk that's been brewing since S1:E1 System. Carmy finally takes his sister's advice and starts processing his emotions instead of running away. Syd finally lays into him. Thank you Lord! Omg, that was so cathartic. Once again, Ayo's acting! Her fear-fury mess. She really sold Sydney's heartbreak. My shayla.

Plus, Carm and Richie trying to get Syd to put the cigarette down? Iconic. I’ve rewatched this episode so many times now, and the sydcarmy of it all, the anguish, the breaking, the distance this has exuberated. Can’t wait for the fics and the meta. Omg omg omg



[ohwolfling]

I think most of y'all accusing Squid Game of being cynical are actually the cynical ones. Acts of rebellion aren't rewarded with happy endings. You don't only die for something if it's a guaranteed success, you don't only try if your kindness and/or defiance is measurable.

If you need Squid Game to have a happy ending to believe it's worth fighting capitalism, then there isn't a revolutionary bone in your body. The Hunger Games has a more palatable ending because while its themes are greater, it was written for middle schoolers. You have to be able to handle allegory of corrupt systems above the level of 12-14 year olds to process Squid Game. That's not a failing of the show.

Choi Woo-seok has agency and a future after the cops slapped him with a prison sentence instead of taking the Squid Game seriously. His tragedy, and the ways the system made it worse, are something he can rise above because of relationships and personal development he likely wouldn't have without Gi-hun. In-ho is still who In-ho is and I think fanon delusions about that are why a lot of you are feeling betrayed but he reaches outside of the system in a way that, while still cruel, gives two girls some kind of future that will keep them out of the games. Jun-ho is trusted with Jun-hee's baby and that money because In-ho knows that he is a good person, LEGITIMATELY A GOOD PERSON. Jun-ho walks away from policing and aligns himself with former criminals because community >>> the system, in big and small ways.

Gi-hun dies a human being. Him dying to save a child is not about "pro life," and y'all have got to stop just digging for the worst possible takes on something whenever you're disappointed or upset. Jun-hee trusted him. Geum-ja trusted him. Hyun-ju died protecting those two. He was seeing the dreams of his community through. When he realized he couldn't win, he kept his word, protected the next generation as best he could, and died with his humanity in tact. His humanity was affirmed in his games by Sae-byeok & Sang-woo & while he fucked up with Dae-ho (which was the point of that, I don't know how y'all are missing that), Gi-hun was NEVER going to sacrifice his humanity, despite the many parasocial fantasies the fandom created there in many ways.

His death happens in part because Myeong-gi cannot decide who he wants to be. The games didn't come down to a bunch of men in suits fantasizing about their turn at being rich, led by a formerly wealthy hack, because Hwang Dong Hyuk hates women. Myeong-gi was a crypto grifter who got swindled by a richer, probably older weirdo. He NEVER takes accountability for that, despite the people in the games BECAUSE HE MISLED THEM. He did love Jun-hee and sometimes he wanted to keep his word & come through for her or his child, but he's endlessly pulled towards the vision of Wealthy Man in Suit as the end all, be all of success.

I could do more in depth breakdowns for any of this, and for every alliance that made it into season 3 and what their deaths represent. It's undeniably in service to what Squid Game has ALWAYS been and these deaths hurt so much because the show and the characterization is good actually. You feel betrayed because the characters were changed or killed or sometimes both by the system Squid Game critiques. That feeling doesn't mean any of those deaths were unjustified narratively.

[kosmicdream]

do you have any opinions on go nagai? having read devilman + devilman lady i think you have a lot in common with him as an artist

Oh. I have OPINIONS.. My hot take is that i actually kinda hate Go Nagai LMAO.. i know, i think most would assume otherwise but.. Well. Every time i have read or engaged with an adaptation of his work, I’m left feeling underwhelmed in a way that’s.. pretty frustrating. I wanna like it! but I’m usually left with feeling “.. that’s it??” and i struggle to feel an actual connection with anything made, it feels more like seeing something for the sake of having a broader appreciation for manga.Like, of course, you cannot deny his legacy/influence on manga/anime. But personally i need more than that to connect with an artist and so far, I haven’t felt it. I don’t want it to be forced, but it doesn’t keep me pursuing more of his stories to see if it clicks for me. 

I could also feel this way because I’m such a huge Tezuka fan (he’s one of my favorite artists ever who massively changed my storytelling when I started reading him as a teenager) that I almost have a harder time looking at Go Nagai’s stories and wondering what new things he brings to the table that Tezuka hasn’t.. Done already but better. Possibly a hundred times even. This also could just be a trend with western online circles, but i get kinda offended?? That Go nagai is brought up SO often when i feel like Shotaro Ishinomori was like. Way more interesting as an artist (while also being another well known mangaka Tezuka directly mentored) To me. And i dont see his name brought up quite as often. This is of course just a very petty reason but I CANT LIE.. it will still annoy me.. I see the appeal of Go Nagai’s artwork, but it kinda always gives the vibe of like. Traced Tezuka drawings to me. My favorite thing about his work has to be maybe Sirene’s design. And some of the devil designs are cool. But man, that's kind of like grasping at straws to say something nice. I think his cover art/illustrations are stronger than his actual manga pages, which i feel often look very stiff or unintentionally awkward. His stories too feel a bit rushed. Like “i dont know what im doing! Who gives a fuck!!! heh” kind of writing. Which I think can be appealing and fun but idk.. 

I think because Berserk is such a huge influence on my work, it makes sense that Devilman would be a given too, since Devilman was essentially the blueprint for a lot of Berserk. But I really just think what Miura saw and took from Devilman was vastly more interesting than devilman itself for me. I also somewhat enjoyed the Devilman crybaby anime that was made several years ago but.. Once again.. That was because of Masaaki Yuasa, who is one of my favorite anime directors.. And.. also.. Devilman Crybaby kind of just felt like Kemonozume (an older anime by Yuasa) but worse. It was still fun! but Kemonozume was truly unique and incredible to me. All those qualities that i liked about crybaby were in Kemonozume but stronger, with an original plot/characters and felt less restrained narratively to a pre-existing story. (and one with such a big legacy)

IDK.. hopefully not too disappointing to hear but that’s my honest opinion… So far everything of Go Nagai seems more interesting when done by other people for me, including fanart. I’ve seen SO much fanart that makes it look like a story I want to check out!!!!!! and then the story I check out is just not anything like what i thought lmao. NOW i know what to expect. and so far its just been the same meh feeling.

Anyway.. That’s kinda about it! Yup..

[rocketeeeers]

hii! this is such a sweet concept, thank you so much for coming up with it! 🩷 i'm so sorry you're going through stuff. you're not alone & your f/os love you lots! take care :D also i apologise if i'm doing anything wrong in this ask game, i'm new to tumblr (i mainly use twitter, though it's really nice here!) please correct me if so!

i'll be answering the qns with my 2 main f/o's (hikage toma prri & kobayashi kenya bokumachi), hope that's okay!

tw: mention of sh for the 1st qn

🌻 since i'm clumsy and have the tendency to sh (though i'm on the road to recovery! yay!), i tend to get injured quite often.

for toma, he normally panics when he sees the wounds and he gets really worried! he'll ask a bunch of questions on how it happened (though if it's something sh related he'd probably avoid asking since it might make me upset) while digging through his bag for his emergency supplies. he'll also probably give me some cute, colourful band-aids to distract me from the wound! for the days after, he'll take really good care of me, helping me to apply ointments and creams every day.

for kenya, he'll mask his worry behind a calm expression in order to prevent me from panicking along with him. similar to toma, he'd also grab his emergency supplies (minus the colourful band-aids). for the days after, though he's really busy, he'd make sure to send reminders via text for me to take care of my injuries.

🪷 when i'm insecure, i usually try to bottle it up, but toma can see through me really easily. he'll give me a hug and comfort me with words, reassuring me of my skills and my good qualities, telling me he loves me no matter what and that the things my head is telling me are all untrue.

for kenya, since we've known each other for quite a while, he can also see through me easily. he's less touchy, but if i asked for a hug or anything, he'd do just that. he mainly uses his words, restating all of our past experiences that disprove my insecurities, show me that he cares, that i'm worth being cared for.

🍄 i would likely shut them down when they suggest pampering me, but both of them would insist, saying that they love me and want to take care of me.

for toma, he'd plan the whole thing himself. he'd probably bring me on a drive, stopping at all my favourite places for food or shopping. he'd do everything he possibly could to comfort me, and it would work!

for kenya, he'd ask if there's anything he could do to help, but since i don't normally know the answer to that, he'd end up taking things into his own hands and planning everything out. he'd take me out on weekends and treat me to some good food, and then maybe we would go home and relax.

☀️ toma would probably get something cute and simple, but full of thought, like jewelry in the style i like, or a plush that reminds him of me or me of him! kenya would probably get something on my wishlist (which tends to be cute stuff too)

📚 to be honest, we do all of that, heheh... i'm quite a needy person!

💜 oh there's too many... these past few days i've been feeling like crap, and sometimes my only reason for holding on is them. i don't wanna go into detail because honestly? i've been blocking most of my emotions out and i don't recall it, and i feel that if i tried i might get more upset. but they helped a lot. when it feels like nobody cares for me, i have them. when it feels like i'm alone, i have them. they've helped me with so so much and i cannot express how grateful i am for them coming into my life.

🥞 my kindness and my loyalty/dedication, i believe. i'd do so much for them, and just them. i'd try my best to be with them whenever they need and more, supporting them through the littlest actions.

🍁 toma sings me songs with that warm voice of his. it's always comforting. we'd cuddle too.

kenya talks to me and either cuddles or holds my hand until i fall asleep.

💫 toma would motivate me with little things like kisses or gifts and then tell me he was so proud of me after i checked a task off. if a task required a lot of work, he'd do it together with me and we would sing some songs while doing it to get my mind off of it.

kenya would send constant reminders to me, even when at work. he'd set alarms to remind me to drink water and stuff. he'd also praise me lots when i do something, and he'd help out where he can.

🍀 toma holds my hand, giving me a physical sensation that i can focus all my attention on. he'll pass me my earplugs/earphones and find a way out of that situation as fast as possible.

kenya, well, i hc him to also easily get overwhelmed. he'd probably try to get over it so that he can calm me, but i wouldn't ever let him force himself to calm down, so we'd probably just be overwhelmed together and find a way to leave the situation together. once out, we'll just spend time in each other's company until we feel better.

again, thank you so much for making this. it was really fun to answer! i'm sorry my answers got so long 😅

🪻comfort and care f/o ask game🪻

hi there! thank you so much to those of you who participated in my last f/o ask game ⸜(*ˊᗜˋ*)⸝ i had so much fun making it and i'm glad to see others are enjoying it too! i decided to make another (very self indulgent) f/o ask game since i've been going through a pretty rough patch lately and i want my f/os to take care of me (߹𖥦߹) these asks will be mental health centric (and can be quite personal), so if that's not your cup of tea, feel free to scroll past! if anyone else has been struggling as well, please remember you are so incredibly loved and wanted here! especially by your f/os! take care of yourselves ♡

so sorry for the long intro! we'll get into it now. as always, proship please do not interact!

also, this ask game is platonic/familial friendly! not just aimed towards romantic f/os! ٩(ˊᗜˋ )و

🌻 how does your f/o take care of you and/or react if you're injured? any injury applies. it could be as simple as bumping into the corner of a table and bruising your hip, or maybe something as severe as coming back wounded from an intense battle.

🪷 how does your f/o comfort you when you're feeling insecure/self conscious? if they prefer to comfort using words, what do they say? if they use actions, what do they do?

🍄 your f/o notices you're stressed/unhappy/not doing well and insists that they want to pamper you. what would that look like? do they do or say anything specific that only they would do? do they want you to tell them what you want, or do they plan the pamper session themself?

☀️ your f/o surprises you with a gift after noticing how hard you've been working lately, and they need to express how proud of you they are. what's the gift?

📚 what is your f/os love language? do they incorporate their love language into how they support you? (the main 5 love languages are; words of affirmation, acts of service, gift giving, quality time, and physical touch. though if you and your f/o have your own love language, please feel free to use that instead!)

💜 name a time (or multiple) when your f/o was your unwavering rock and solace. only if you're comfortable with sharing, what were you going through? how did your f/o support you?

🥞 what does your f/o admire about you? it can go beyond physical traits!

🍁 how does your f/o help you when you can't sleep/can't stay asleep?

💫 how does your f/o help and/or support you when you're struggling with taking care of yourself? (e.g. messy room, forgetting to take meds, etc.)

🍀 what does your f/o do when you're in an overstimulating/overwhelming situation? (e.g. in a large crowd, around loud noises, etc.) do they have any techniques to soothe you?

[jezuschristsuperstar]

this is exactly my problem with sydcarmy's relationship. everyone talks about how she's his peace but is HE that for her? absolutely not. as she stated, he's changing his mind constantly and leaving her with broken promises. he left the restaraunt with its financial issues like his father left the berzatto family and ran for the hills. carmy's not a reliable presence in sydney's life and from her tone and everything else about her reaction, she's beyond sick of dealing with it. whatever admiration she had for his skill, their partnership is tainted by his behavior.

i want better for sydney, and that's not carmy. at this point it's not even a question of whether the show is open to getting them together, it's that carmy isn't good enough for her. he had seasons to grow and he can only take a few steps forward before sabotaging it and stressing out everyone else.

As the saying goes, never meet your hero’s🤷🏽‍♀️ It’s so heartbreaking when you remember where we came from. The hope that she had throughout season one. And the way she defended him and their decision to become partners to everybody who was weary of it in season 2. To her accepting that “okay maybe he’s a flake and not the easiest person to work with, but he’s a part of my world and I care about him enough to work with him in spite of everything” through the past 2 seasons. To this tragic and heartbreaking breach of trust.

And what’s maddening is that she understands where it’s all coming from. How this is both a sick concoction of self sabotage and him being so beaten down by stress, grief, and trauma. But so is she. This is equally not fun for her. It’s equally not easy for her. She’s beginning to have nightmares about it. She has started smoking. She told Jimmy that she cannot remember the last time she has even seen fun outside of a restaurant. She rarely has time to spend time with her actual family, who by what we have seen in episode 4 of this season- genuinely love and care for her and are quite saddened by the fact that they don’t get to see her a lot. She and Carmy are one of the same- however Carmy is healing and she is not. Moreover, this ‘gesture’ can even put her in a worse mental state. But again, she cares enough to let it be even though it’s hearting her severely. She cares enough about him and his family to quickly pivot and extends the offer to Richie (who is now more of a lifeline to her than Carmy ever was).

She cares about Carmy. She wants him in her life because now she is her family- whether it be platonic or romantic (but we all know it’s big platonic lol). However, she cannot trust him and outside of what he is in terms of professionalism, she doesn’t know how to really feel about their relationship. She acknowledges the fact that he is special and he is so good at what he does and that he cares- she admires him because she wants to be him (even though, as Carmy has stated himself that she is way more than he could ever be). But she also feels as if he views her as competition- as someone to smoke and belittle. As someone who doesn’t want to share the creative space, or only does so when convenient. Someone who doesn’t value her input. It doesn’t help that she has been beaten down relentlessly by her previous failures and undercut by previous employers who dismiss her enthusiasm as arrogance and greenness. So much so that while she knows she can do it, there is this lingering fear that she cannot and there needs to be someone holding her hand along the way. And as a result, while these negative feelings still hold space, she still wants his validation. She still wants him to affirm to her that she is doing a good job. She still wants to know that he’ll be there to catch her when she falls- even though he already believes in her so much.

And Carmy wants openness, because to him Sydney is also family. Sydney is his friend. He wants the best for her, he feels she deserves the best, and in a fucked up say he tries to give it to her- but because he doesn’t listen to her and on top of that she isn’t really open, it always fall through. But she doesn’t trust him enough to be open. She doesn’t trust him enough to be vulnerable— because deep down she knows that he is inconsistent and she can lose him at any time. But until their argument it always just meant “he’s here physically but his mind is somewhere far far away”.

The next season shouldn’t even be about the idea of them getting together romantically as their PLATONIC relationship is in the shitter too. What they need is this time apart. And if they are to come together to talk, they need to lay it all on the table and express themselves freely. Carmy his blockages and desire to run from things. And Sydney: her own resentment, and fears, and now feelings of abandonment and rejection. They need to mend the foundation before I feel comfortable seeing anything else take place.

[amoreuxi]

biggest self-care move a young girl can make nowadays is going full offline for a good while. deactivating all social media, limiting messaging apps to emergencies only, limiting browsing and screen time to a minimum, and no selfies. not for a few days or weeks, but months. at least a semester, but a year would be ideal

if this sounds too radical for you, if you cannot imagine a life without logging in every day, without posting, without being seen and heard through the internet, then you are precisely the type of person who needs to be offline the most. because there IS life outside of the internet, and you have the right to experience it

you have the right to be anonymous, to be private, to be free from surveillance and judgement, to be rid of interacting with strangers all day, to think outside of the latest discourse, to speak without following preset formats, to see yourself without the intervention of a camera, to be bored and quiet, to live life without trying to fit it into your screen

it may seem ironic or hypocritical that I am saying this on a social media app, through a smartphone. but not only am I old enough to remember being a kid without an iphone in my hands, I have also gone through the experiment myself. and the only reason why I don't feel oppressed by social media now is because I have turned it off before. it's no longer something I can't imagine my days without: it's an accessory to everything else, and not the other way around

so if you really want to give yourself some love, consider this. it's not gonna be easy, trust me. you're gonna feel withdrawal effects, you're gonna feel like an alien, your friends are probably gonna bother you about it, it is gonna feel a bit like quitting an addiction

but I swear to you, with all my love, you're still going to exist. I think that is, subconsciously, what we tend to fear the most: that if we go offline, we'll be forgotten and invisible. I promise you, this feeling will go away after a while. you will find new distractions, new ideas, new desires, new things to look at, new topics of conversation, new interests

and then, after you have lived life outside of a screen, you can decide whether you even want to go back to it or not. you should give yourself the right to choose ♡