#yes they’re gay in this au; move along

[jeskerthefool]

What if. Stardew valley romance options in Until Dawn?

...this is what happens when I watch until dawn gameplays while playing stardew...

While assigning roles I realized that there are too many romance options in stardew for eveyrone in until dawn. Feel free to assume that Marlon is the hunter dude and don't ask me what Abigail's motivations are, I just thought she deserved to go apeshit.

[sarafinamk]

Fallen Angel 50 Incorrect Quotes Special

The Smiling Critters Space Riders Au and the character Z belongs to @onyxonline

If you haven't checked out the Fallen Angel (Reader Insert) series, you can check out Part 1 and Part 2 here. You, the reader, will be referred to as both (Y/n) and Archangel.

Right now, I need to focus on writing my thesis paper, so I'm not sure when Part 3 will be posted. In the meantime, enjoy this crackfic as an Easter present. Some quotes will contain slight spoilers for future chapters. 😉 Enjoy.

----------

*During a training session*

Hoppy: Fight me, you nerd ass punk!

Archangel: At least TRY to sound sophisticated when you threaten someone.

Kickin: Dost thou wish to engage in a duel, my good bITCH?!

Archangel: *Facepalms* Somehow, that was worse...

----------

Bobby: Are you having another depressive episode?

Archangel: A depressive episode?

Archangel: I'm having a depressive series and we're just on season one.

--------

Z: What's wrong with you?

Archangel: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

----------

Crafty: How’s training going?

Archangel: Terrible. I want to stab everybody there.

Crafty: Okay, just don’t get any blood on your clothes.

Bobby: ...you shouldn’t be condoning this.

Crafty: Don’t tell me how to live my life.

----------

Archangel: Yesterday, I overheard the Captain saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Hoppy replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

----------

Archangel: Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for methaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance!

----------

Archangel: raises eyebrows

Dogday: Put those back down!

----------

Archangel: Problem, I can't tell if this food is over-sauced or undercooked.

Kickin: Solution, just pop it back in the oven for another 10 minutes. There's at least a 50% chance that'll fix it, right?

Bubba: Result? Food has somehow become unpleasantly soggy and unpleasantly crunchy at the exact same time.

Hoppy: No better time than this to pull out my favorite word! Slunchy!

Picky: …put it away.

----------

Picky: One time I went to hand (Y/n) a bowl of soup. I wanted to say “Careful, it’s hot!”, and “Here’s your soup!”, so instead I blurted out “Careful it’s soup.”

----------

*Preparing for a mission*

Hoppy: Okay, who's turn is it to give the pep talk?

Catnap: It's (Y/n)'s turn.

Archangel: Don't die.

Kickin, wiping a tear away: Truly inspirational.

----------

Archangel: I can't take you seriously wearing that.

Kickin: Aw, you take me seriously at all?

Archangel: Fair point.

----------

Dogday: My level of gay has reached “sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me”.

----------

Archangel to Bubba: How do you tell someone politely you want to hit them with a brick?

----------

Dogday: If I say I love you, will you say it back?

Z: Yes.

Dogday: I love you.

Z: It back.

*Later*

Archangel: Why is the Captain crying face-down on the floor?

----------

*the Space Riders at Disneyland, in the teacups*

Crafty, Bobby, Bubba, and Picky: *spinning a little and talking*

Dogday, Catnap, Kickin, and Hoppy: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*

----------

Hoppy: I've done a lot of dumb stuff.

Dogday: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Catnap: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Kickin: I joined you in the dumb stuff.

Archangel: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

----------

Archangel: This is a bad idea.

Hoppy: Then why are you coming along?

Archangel: Someone has to get your injured ass home.

----------

Archangel: I feel awful about killing you.

Z:

Archangel: Even though technically you never even died, so I don’t know what you’re bitching about.

----------

Dogday: Hoppy, don’t go picking a fight with (Y/n). Don’t forget, they’re powerful, they could make life difficult for you.

Hoppy: Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life.

----------

Dogday: I’m so happy both angels are getting along now.

Catnap: Uh, Z and (Y/n) are not getting along.

Dogday: They’re not trying to kill each other.

Catnap: You may have a point.

----------

Archangel: The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant is chaos.

Picky: Was Kissy's place out of chocolate-chip pancakes again?

----------

Kickin: Yeah, I find it quite emotional. In like a cool way.

Archangel: Did you just say it makes you cry in a cool way?

----------

Archangel, proudly: I slept.

Catnap: Is that so much of a rare thing that you have to say it?

----------

Archangel: You're a lying piece of shit!

Hoppy: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!

Dogday: I'm leaving and I'm taking Catnap with me!

Bubba, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

----------

Poppy: It’s funny how well you and the Archangel get along. Didn’t they hate you at first?

Dogday: (Y/n) hates everybody at first. It’s their way of reaching out to people.

----------

Bobby: lifting weights

Kickin: Wow… She's so intense!

Archangel: I wonder what drives her.

Bobby, internally: Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.

----------

*First two chapters of "Fallen Angel" summarized*

Archangel: I'm allergic to death.

----------

Archangel: Hoppy, I don’t think I can handle any more of your tomfuckery.

Hoppy: Oh yeah? Well I can keep going until you’re all tomfuckered out!

----------

Hoppy: (Y/n), what are you doing tomorrow?

Archangel: Having my day ruined by whatever you’re about to ask me to do.

----------

Archangel: Someone will die.

Dogday: Of fun!

----------

Something crashes

Hoppy: Shoot-

Bobby: running into the room in a panic WHAT FELL?!

Archangel: walking by the room calmly What died?

----------

Archangel: Can you be serious for five minutes?

Kickin: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

----------

Someone with a gun to Archangel's head: What happens if I pull this trigger? Heaven?

Archangel: Bold of you to assume I'll go to Heaven.

----------

Catnap: I like to play this game called nap roulette. I take a nap and don’t set an alarm. Will it be 20 min or 4 hours? Nobody knows. It’s risky and I like it.

----------

Z: When did you become a hero?

Archangel: Um… the moment I saved you from getting killed.

Z: You’re the last person in the galaxy I wanted to rescue me.

Archangel: Well… sucks to be you, don’t it.

----------

Bubba: It’s just that lollipop sticks last longer than the head, even if they’re less flavorful. I’m thinking of paper sticks, because you can peel off the layers with your teeth or leave it there until they fall off naturally, but plastic sticks can be chewed on too or left sticking out like a cigarette. Paper straws can be eaten layer by layer over time though, so they have the edge.

Hoppy, bored: Can’t we just leave while he's distracted?

Archangel, genuinely interested: But what about wooden sticks?

Hoppy: I hate you.

----------

Archangel: I am convinced the Captain and Catnap share a brain cell.

Archangel: And it's not in use very often, it seems.

----------

Archangel: Why am I the bad guy?

Kickin: I don't know, why am I the pretty one? We all have our thing.

----------

Archangel: We’re having a moment, aren’t we?

Z: If by 'a moment' you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are.

----------

Kickin: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Picky: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Crafty: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned.

Bubba: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Bobby: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Archangel: I have emotional scars.

----------

Dogday: What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?

Archangel: A stab wound.

----------

Archangel: I sense hostility.

Z: Good, because I hate you.

----------

Archangel: slams down an absolute doorstopper of a tome I checked this out weeks ago for a bit of light reading.

Hoppy: This is light?!

----------

Archangel: What’s up with the Captain? He's been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?

Bobby: He's just a little overwhelmed.

Archangel: Why?

Catnap: Z smiled at him.

----------

Literally anyone: Go to hell!

Archangel: Where do you think I come from?

----------

Hoppy: Just trust me. Have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation?

Archangel: All the time.

Hoppy: Then you should be used to it by now.

----------

Archangel: I’m so tired.

Bubba: Did you get to bed late?

Archangel: No.

Bubba: Did you do something strenuous?

Archangel: No.

Bubba: Then why are you tired?

Archangel: I’m alive.

Bubba: Sounds exhausting.

----------

Archangel: Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.

----------

A cult member: Didn't you die?!

Archangel: That was weeks ago. Things change.

----------

Archangel: I’d kill someone if you asked me to.

Dogday: I’m pretty sure you’d kill someone even if I didn’t ask you to.

[coffee-at-annies]

6+43 you pick the pairing.

6+43: Bookshop AU+Dance of Romance

This is very hard for me because I fully believe most hockey players cannot read. There is reason the Sidney Crosby School for Hockey Players Who Can’t Read Good is a thing that I believe with my whole heart that exists. You said dealers choice on the pairing so I hope you’re ready for an entire au and many, many pairings. Remember, you asked for this.

Anyway small independent bookshop owners Sid and Geno. They’re gay and married and semi-successful and it’s cute.

Kris is the bitchy barista who barged into their store one day and bullied them into adding a cafe and then took over running it.

He’s got some sort of situationship going with his longtime regular, Tristan, who has never picked up a book in all the time he’s been coming there. He is there every day for his caffeine fix and to do suduko or something else juuuuust close enough to be book adjacent but isn’t reading. I’m not sure there’s enough thoughts in Mouse Boy’s head to read a whole book. At least that’s what he wants us to think and I’m gonna give it to him.

Jake and Bryan (Rusty) are two kids Sid hired from the local college that basically never left after graduating and are still here.

Flower runs the bakery down the street and makes sure Sid has pastries for Kris to sell. He has tried and failed to lure Kris away to do coffee for the bakery. (Flower also used to work at the bookstore but left to go pursue his dream of the bakery and they love and support him but Kris isn’t leaving).

Marcus and Ricky are two Swedish dads that come in for kids storytime and let their kids play around.

They’ve started bringing new Swede-in-town Erik and his daughter with them.

Chad doesn’t work for the bookstore but will occasionally stop by kid in tow for Sid’s storytime.

Ryan Graves just got hired to run the late night shift so they can be open later. (Yes this is a graveyard shift pun)

Magnus is the delivery man who drops off and helps unload book shipments.

(This is a very crowded small bookstore)

Ned is there regularly for book club with EK, Reilly (who is new in town) and Jason (Zucker) (an old regular), along with old not quite married couple Carl and Patric (Hags&Horny).

(All people I believe can read, unlike Jarry)

Jared and Brandon are around somewhere. Probably. (Look I love them).

Zach and Conor and Teddy used to work in the store while in college but unlike Jake and Bryan they left after graduation. Some of them are still around town but some of them have moved away.

The only people I’m missing are 4th line and I’m sorry idc where cookie and neets are tbh and BJC is around. Probably. Maybe he’s a regular, maybe he works the register, idk idc.

That leaves, basically everyone you just said “hey you forgot X” aka Lars Eller and the kids/wbs. If you were wondering why I didn’t mention them, that’s because this fic is about them. Well actually it’s about DOC and POJ because my brain decided that’s the pairing. Don’t ask me why. Big Z is right there with the rest of his harem but no we’re doing PO and Drew (probably because of that silly tortilla video). Anyway all the boys are college students at the local college. Drew is in a study group with Radim, Valterri, Jansen, Vinnie, Sam (Poulin), and Ty (Smith). They’re all taking Professor Eller’s class and they meet up once or twice a week in the bookstore to drink coffee and go over the homework.

Where is PO you ask? Well he’s behind the counter working under Kris as the backup barista. Don’t worry, this romance isn’t going to be customer/barista. No, no. The reason they started meeting here is because Drew works at the bookstore. He’s been there for about a semester (and the summer) but hasn’t really spent much time in the cafe part. It’s not until Big Z talks Drew into running study sessions in the cafe that they start noticing each other.

See PO took Professor Eller’s class last year, so one day, after watching the boys struggle for with the homework for way too long, he pops out from behind the counter and sits down and helps them out. He’s welcome at the study sessions and sometimes when he’s not on shift he’ll bring his school work and while they’re majoring in different things it’s nice to bounce ideas off them.

If you want to know what they’re majoring in, actual real life DOC majored in sociology while playing for Dartmouth. PO has not been to college but he did tell Taylor that if he wasn’t gonna be an athlete he wanted to be a vet or a psychologist so I’m going with he wants to be a Vet Tech and is majoring in whatever is the veterinary sciences equivalent of premed is.

Anyway they hang out at work more and more. This goes on for like a month and then Geno comes up with a big idea for a fall event. They’re doing a Halloween party. Jake and Bryan and Drew and PO have to help decorate the store and on the day of it’s filled with college students, kids, and regulars. Drew is trying desperately to avoid getting his cheek pinched by the old ladies from the knitting circle again. PO is safe because he’s behind the cafe counter serving drinks. PO has fake vampire fangs as his costume. Drew showed up in a not-couples costume with Big Z. If you wanna know what everyone else wore, please see this photo. Except I’m pretty sure Kris is either a prey mantis or the letits are out whichever option makes you, dear reader, feel more insane.

Eventually Sid and Geno shooo all their employees to go mingle and have fun. Drew and PO end up in the makeshift dance floor, music blaring, and after a couple jokes and a some negging from their friends, PO gives Drew a half twirl or something and they laugh it off before the song is even over.

It’s not until later when they’re cleaning up, all alone, music still going in the background, that they start joking about it and one thing leads to another and they actually dance. PO gives drew the full twirl. They bust a move. They slow dance a bit. They’ve never been this close. They’ve only casually touched and now they’re pressed up against each other. They’ve been hanging out at the bookstore outside of study group and Ohohoho what’s this? A feelings realization. Except wait. They’re both idiot college students. So they both awkwardly disengage to go do their job and part ways.

In the following days things are so completely awkward between them at work that Kris throws PO out of the cafe and won’t let him back until he can look Drew in the eye. Drew meanwhile cancels study session because he doesn’t know how to be normal around PO. Don’t worry they can’t continue like that for long. You see there’s a big test coming up and Z ropes PO into helping Drew out cause it’s like 40% of their final grade and Drew has been failing the at-home practice tests something terrible.

They end up staying way later than the rest of the study group going over this exam. Its way late at night, only Ryan is there to lock up behind them, and PO has just spent 4 hours explaining the test back to front - forgetting his awkwardness in the face of his determination to make sure Drew doesn’t fail. Drew definitely stares at PO explaining for a little too long, decides fuck it and goes in for a kiss. These are idiot college boys so instead they bump noses or headbutt each other or something. Poor boys. Can’t even do a surprise kiss correctly. Drew apologizes and then they do have the confession conversation and then the actual kiss. And more kisses. After that, more studying.

The end.

[disregardcanon]

Toh npmd au for my own personal amusement

First thing’s first: character assignments 

Amity as Steph 

Luz as Pete 

Willow and Gus as Ruth and Richie

Boscha as Max 

Hunter as Grace 

Odalia and Belos both as parts of Mayor Lauter

Setting details: it’s still in Gravesfield, CT which still has its same Puritan vs witches branding. The mascot is a pilgrim and that IS Gus in the suit. Who has more school spirit than Augustus Porter? (No one.) 

So a few changes I’m making to make the toh cast slot a bit easier into the framework 

Belos is a fundamentalist preacher who’s raising his “niece”. Yes he DID kill Caleb and Charlotte. No one knows tho. It was lords in black related. Does that make it better? eh

Hunter is trans masc and a TOTAL egg. Right now, he’s a very enthusiastic little warrior for purity culture. Yes, he’s trying to get the dance canceled, YES he’s bullied a lot for being a “nerdy prude”. Not gonna dead name him but. He wouldn’t realize he’s a guy until significantly after the events of this musical 

Luz has NOT been in amity’s class since the 1st grade. She only moved here a year ago

Amity is still the mayor’s daughter and she and Boscha used to date. Amity’s stopped actively bullying people after they broke up and she’s felt like, guilty about it, but she’s never seen how much more.. Physical? Boscha’s bullying got than hers did. Sure, Amity was a queen of psychological warfare, but she never beat people up in the parking lot. 

Luz moves to Gravesfield during her junior year of high school. Amity and Boscha on the cusp of breaking up, so things are changing in their social hierarchy. For one, Amity is backing away from bullying and the spotlight and for two Boscha is getting WORSE. She when Luz moves in and aligns herself with “half-a-woman Willow” and Steve Urkel.. She’s thrown to the bottom of the school hierarchy immediately. Looney Lulu is what comes to mind first. 

Enter Boscha: literal monster, best quarterback in the school’s history and the first girl (she works that angle as hard as she can), and QUEEN of the school. She’s amity’s ex and like… mainly over her. 

Okay, who are we kidding? She’s not over her. Not at all. Boscha decides to put all her “trying to make amity jealous and take me back” energy into seducing amity’s least favorite student: local nerdy prude, preacher’s “niece” wittebane. 

Hunter and amity do NOT get along. At all. They’re duking it out for the valedictorian spot, their respective guardians are pitting them against each other, and they both just find the other… insufferable. 

So trying to bag the “girl” who’s the forbidden fruit and maybe making amity mad enough to take her back with it too? It’s worth a try, at least. 

Amity, meanwhile, is failing theater. She’s getting very frustrated and flustered and asks luz to be her scene partner so maybe she doesn’t fall on her ass. Luz is nervous because this is Amity Blight, super cool girl who used to be very mean to willow and now isn’t really a bully but is just? Way cooler than they are? Amity’s able to talk her into it. 

The teacher heaps a LOT of praise onto them and their chemistry and promises them good grades in the future if they keep working with each other. This leads to amity calling luz and trying to set up the pasqualli’s date. 

Boscha, meanwhile, is cornering hunter near the gym where he’s protesting the concept of dancing. He gets freaked out when boscha starts getting very very flirty and he gets really flustered because? Girl? Girl flirt with me? Also a girl? Hahahaha NO I AM NOT GAY I AM NOT- and he’s having a little sexuality crisis. Willow, who’s done putting up with boscha’s shit right here in the school building, hurls a waterbottle across the room in between them. 

Hunter SPRINTS away because OH BOY I WAS EXPERIENCING SOMETHING STRANGE AND UNWELCOME NO THANK YOU NO THANK YOU- and then he finds out that newly buff and gaining more confidence willow is the one who saved him. And she’s just like oh yeah anytime. No one should corner other people like that. And his little heart is going bEEPBEEPBEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEPPP and the rest of his body is not calming down either, ya know? 

Unwanted sexual attractions experienced by local nerdy prude today: 2. Fantasies experienced in the bathtub: 2 very, very different ones in a single sequence. 

Luz gets the shit kicked out of her at pasqualli’s because she runs into boscha before she finds amity and she’s like no i’m not gonna cower AMITY BLIGHT INVITED ME HERE! And. that. DOES NOT GO WELL 

Willow is ready to go to war over this when they get to school the next morning because she WARNED luz that amity wasn’t to be trusted and look? Look what happened! And luz is like yeah you also said i should stand up for myself- and willow’s like husssshhh. 

They plan a prank in the bathroom that goes very poorly. Hunter writes gus a detention slip for being in the girls’ bathroom (he should have written himself one too!) and then they prank the shit out of Boscha. 

To the point she. You know. Dies. then they have to dismember her at hunter’s urging! Hooray!!!!

Cue peace and love at the high school :) until poor gus dies. I’m sorry dude! You’re the mascot you were cursed. Of course the quarterback was going after you first. 

Boscha goes after luz second because she’s the dweeb who thought that she could steal boscha’s girl. Luckily for luz and amity both, they were together at this point and they RUN as fast as they can. Luz demands they go find willow because she’s probably the next victim, and they find her mid-boscha kill. She lost an arm because boscha was trying to take the “half-a-” thing to its logical, puny extreme. They rush her off to the hospital. The police come to question them. 

And then pastor wittebane comes with hunter in tow. He pulls something with the police about the parks wanting him to perform a protestant equivalent of anointing of the sick on their ailing daughter. 

Pastor wittebane very clearly knows what happened. 

“I thought you were gonna keep the beans cool!” Amity demands. 

“I couldn’t,” hunter tells her. 

“Fucking useless, wittebane,” amity mutters. 

Pastor wittebane glares at all of them. “You are going to get in my car and come with me.” 

“That sounds bad,” luz says, “my mom told me to never be one on one with religious officials.” 

“Fine,” he says, “if you’d like to be the next victim, be my guest.” 

They all get in the car, except Willow, who’s bed-bound. (Luckily, since she’s already in the hospital, boscha thinks of her as less of a kill count priority.) 

Belos takes them out ot the middle of the woods and makes them dig up the black book. Then boscha kills him! We DO get boscha killing belos, so i think that’s a win. They flee the scene, run into some cops, then make it to the high school to complete the ritual. 

We’ve got amity, luz, and hunter on the floor of the gym summoning the evil teletubbies. The evil teletubbies REALLY want amity to kill luz. They get to have their cool as i think i am reprise <3 and then the bullet leaves the gun and boscha catches it. Because she is very, very excited to do luz in personally. She’s still debating whether or not she’s gonna end amity, but luz IS going to die. In front of amity. For absolutely certain. 

Boscha’s getting ready to take care of another nerdy prude when hunter bursts out like HELLO YES! I AM READY TO HAVE THE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE! And boscha’s just like… whut? And then he gets very flirty and goes along with the stuff that she was saying earlier, and he’s.. Legit into it. Sure, flirting with hunter was half to spite amity, but she’s still very turned on by the idea of corrupting the perfect angel church girl into having hot and heavy sex with her on the football field. And making amity watch? That’s a bonus. Maybe she’ll get a threesome out of it. 

Hunter sends boscha to hell with the power of his jesus freak virginity, luz and amity have sixteen different crises, and willow lives to hear the whole crazy tale. Luz and willow mourn gus, hunter goes through the weird process of mourning his uncle while also realizing he’s glad that the guy’s gone and gets to know the shoulder ANGEL part of the shoulder angel and shoulder devil fantasy he was experiencing, and amity hides the book away in her own personal safe to try to keep it away from bad actors. 

It doesn’t keep it safe from mayor odalia blight, but… that’s not going to be that big of a deal.. Right? RIGHT?!?!?!

[murderoushagthesequel]

returning the favour!!

hmmm

delete any three marauders era characters from existence JUST so you get to create them in ur own image go

least favourite colour and is it because it reminds you of a very you specific children memory?

describe these five characters as teachers: james potter. bellatrix black. frank longbottom. gideon prewett. lucius malfoy.

your favourite colours

r u chef xeno au or model xeno au person (yes i’m either writing or drawing the chef au) and you HAVE to chose

opinions on american girl dolls

ok sorry this took me forever to answer i got a little too into it, so here we go

delete any three characters

oooo this is a spicy one. i’m assuming this means delete them from canon and replace them with my own image? because i already do whatever i want here.

first is absolutely regulus because he would fuck the entire story up. and i love that for him. my reggie, who would find a way to band together with all of his friends and fight their own side of the war away from moldy and dumbly, who would burn the world down for each and every one of them and his brother and james, who got along with the gryffindors and hexed anybody who dared challenge him about it. regulus who’s trans and gay and depressed and dealing with it like a champ. who can get the entirety of hogwarts under his thumb with one outfit because he’s just that beautiful and that powerful. regulus who whittles baby animals for james in secret, who is a god at quidditch and always catches the snitch because he’s just that good, who joined frog choir initially because his mother made him but turned it into something for himself and never left even once he ran away. regulus who is just me in a different font because i said so. i may have gotten a little carried away with the headcanons here. but regulus is my best friend, the love of my life, my baby, my child, i love him okay?

second. hmmmm. i think i’m gonna have to go with barty. now there isn’t really any canon on him before he became a death eater anyway, so it wouldn’t so much be removing him and replacing him as much as adding in nonexistent content. i would mainly just be adding in the widely accepted fanon content: slytherin skittles, rosekiller, barty being a little menace who would kill for his friends no hesitation, etc. i’d make his gay awakening xeno idc. and then from there there’s two directions to go. there’s: let him live out his happy little life with his friends that’s not so happy because they’re fighting in a way but at least they’re together. and there’s: reg and evan die and barty goes crazy and turns into canon barty. i like both versions, even both at the same time tbh, but in the first one i think pandora and dorcas would help keep him together whereas in the second one he just goes off the rails. there’s just so much more to be explored with his character and all we really get is he hates his dad but not his mom, and he killed and tortured a bunch of people this literally makes no sense at all but moving on anyways.

third. let’s see, let’s see, let’s see. peter! omg peter. we all know i love peter pettigrew and canon peter is… well… the fucking worst. give me peter pettigrew that made a bit of a mistake, sure, but it didn’t cost his friends their lives and they forgave him. give me (this will be an icotfs moment) deaf peter pettigrew who taught his friends sign language in their first year and was so happy just to have friends because he had it rough in the past but now he has a family at school. give me peter pettigrew who was a hat stall because he’s wise and loyal and cunning and brave. give me peter pettigrew who worked so so hard for his marks in school and excelled because he worked for it. give me peter pettigrew who makes fun of his friends as relentlessly as they make fun of him and his just, happy! give me peter pettigrew who was genuinely friends with everybody, not a kid they had to look after, not an outcast, not anything else. a friend.

honorable mentions: snape, no redemption arc, no pity; lily, just, her in my mind; pandora, make her a character

now, if you meant pick any three characters to erase from fanon and replace, my answer is different and i don’t know what it is.

least favorite color / tied to childhood memory

hmmmm. probably either like a neon green or brown-orange. when i was a kid, for a period of time, my favorite color was orange but i always had to specify not brown orange colors. specifically bright oranges. also like… idk how to describe it but off white in the way medicine is. i had to take this liquid medicine for a long period of time when i was little and it was this weird white color and absolutely nasty. especially the orange flavor. completely vile. i can still taste it right now and that was like 13 years ago.

characters as teachers

oh this is a fun one. here we go.

james potter: he is struggling just a bit. he’s for sure a humanities teacher, and he hasn’t quite found the balance between being a good teacher and a nice teacher. he’s like right on the edge there, where he’s almost perfect, but he does get fooled by a dead grandma from time to time, or a student taking advantage of his niceness. but he is, so nice. and really helpful. he does absolutely everything he can to help his students, even if that means staying at work until 10pm trying to come up with a way to help this kid pass his class, he’ll do it. even if he has to tutor a kid on the entire history of the world. this man is committed to his work. he said “i wanna be a teacher” and he really meant it. sirius, remus, peter, regulus, and lily have all had to forcibly pull him away from his work on more than one occasion. regulus once just stayed the night in james’ classroom because he refused to leave.

bellatrix black: this one. this is a wild one. because that’s what bella is, isn’t she? a wild card. controversial opinion? i initially saw her as an art teacher and then it switched in my brain and now i can’t let go of her being an economics/government/finance teacher. i mean, picture her just sitting at the front of her classroom, sitting cross-legged on top of her desk and teaching kids how to topple a government instead of reading from the textbook? nobody knows how she hasn’t gotten fired yet because she basically taught one class how to money launder and another how to stage a coup. all her students both love her and are terrified of her. she’s the kind of person that can catch a bug in her hands without even looking- she makes sure to do that trick on the first day of every class, she will not fuck around, got it? but she has her favorite students who she’s so sweet to. like if they cough once during class they are going to the nurse’s office and she will march them right down there if she has to.

frank longbottom: now he is the perfect balance. the teacher i’ve always been in awe of. the one who manages to perfectly balance everything and act like it’s nothing. i could honestly see him teaching any subject and you know what? maybe he teaches all of them, who can say? he is nice, but not a pushover. a good teacher, but a kind one. he balances his personal life and work perfectly and doesn’t let them bleed too much into each other. every once in a while, he’ll get a little too caught up on one thing or the other - he’s only human, right? - but he’s usually able to get back into it pretty easily, especially with the help from his friends. his students all like him, they say goodbye sadly but don’t miss him too terribly when he’s gone, but he’s touched all of their lives somehow. he’s that one teacher whose class every student wants to be in, and everybody else is jealous when they don’t end up there.

gideon prewett: he’s a kindergarten teacher. he has one of those little town rugs in the middle of his floor, he reads all the books at story time with different voices and acts it out. he hosts little events as much as possible for the kids to participate in. plays, puppet shows, bake sales, etc. he also goes all out with birthdays, like decorates the whole classroom and everything. and he’s an amazing teacher. like those kids are leaving his classroom at the end of the year with a second grade education. some of them go to college early. he gets invited to their weddings. he randomly brings in things to make his students happy like cookies (different kinds for allergies and dietary restrictions) or plants. he always brings something in himself for show and tell. he’s the teacher everybody loved when they were in kindergarten and never got another teacher who could live up to him. except for the students that ended up with his brother as an AP calc teacher. he’s completely different but exactly the same simultaneously, but the only one who ever came close to matching him.

lucius malfoy: oof. you do not want to be in his class. this man is like an APUSH or AP physics teacher. he is strict and not forgiving. he picks his favorites on the first day of class and everybody else knows the year is about to be shit for them. he keeps a whole ass family portrait on the wall behind his desk, and he looks hella intimidating in it. he gives hours of homework each night, half of it busy work because he can’t be bothered to grade it all, and insanely difficult tests. the only reason he’s still allowed to teach is because he sucks up to the head of the school board and he’s about to be on tenure, then no one can touch him. there’s also a ton of rumors flying around about him at all times though, because the kids hate him so much. and some of them come back to bite him in the ass, so, good for you, kids.

favorite colors

ooooo how to choose. okay first definitely has to be a neutral pastel/sage green, like the one in my tumblr theme. it’s so calming and soothing and it reminds me of being in a little fairytale forest. like, i look at it and i see low hanging branches with floating lights and a calm stream running by a woodland cottage. it’s lovely.

then probably something like the blue you posted. it reminds me of the word midnight. it’s mysterious, it’s never-ending, it’s kind of scary, but in a good way. i accidentally typed “in a god way” the first time and tbh, yeah.

and then like a lavender color like this one. i can’t really explain why it just makes my brain happy.

similarly to the purple, dust rose.

chef xeno vs model xeno

nooooo i have to choose? i love model xeno, i really do. i love absolutely everything about him. but my heart goes to chef au :pensive:. especially with the brilliant alteration that it’s secretly a ratatouille au where barty and evan think xeno is this brilliant chef but they have no idea there’s just a tiny peter on his head doing all the cooking for him. i also think it’s funny picturing xeno being all cocky thinking two guys are trying to compete for him when really, they’re both trying to get with him at the same time. he would be so oblivious but so happy at the revelation and i love him for that.

american girl dolls

ok somebody fr just asked me this? but when i was a kid i wanted one so badly, not even sure why. i think it was a “everyone else has one so i need one” type thing? i also just liked dolls. i got two oof-brand american girl dolls over time, one has a brown bob with bangs and i named her emily and the other has long blonde hair and ngl i forgot her name… but i have like a whole ass closet for these girlies. i loved them with my whole heart for a while. opinions overall? i definitely don’t get the hype anymore. and the american girl puberty books and shit are weird… but dolls in general >>> (except the creepy ones).

[vanderwoodlings]

ashes to embers:

Since her best friend Serena’s death, Blair has been pretty sure she’s hallucinating. But when she starts seeing Dan Humphrey, she realizes (through the power of asking more than a few awkward questions of his grieving loved ones) that it’s not just a trick of grief and brain chemistry—they’re actually haunting her. With the help of Dan’s best friend Vanessa and her hot mess of an ex-boyfriend Nate, Blair sets out to commit necromancy… and maybe form a polyamorous ghost relationship along the way.

- this is not an actual fic. you are just getting some silly little notes on this post i made because the actual fic is probably never happening

- so first of all i’m not just thinking about ghosts a lot lately; this and this mortal coil, the fic i wrote about derena meeting as ghosts, would be in the same au

- serena died in the equivalent to the shepherd wedding, dan (who had never met her/didn’t know who she was) died later, in the equivalent to their pre-series thankgiving meeting—tho he was saving blair there

- serena has a lot of Feelings revolving around her and dan’s deaths—once she finds out blair could hear/see her, she comes to the conclusion it’s her fault she froze out on the street, and starts to think it’s her fault dan is dead

- in between that, and untangling the canonical everything that went down at and after the shepherd wedding, dan spends a lot of time going “what the FUCK” at serena’s feelings

- nate’s hot mess levels are actually totally justified tbc and actually very close to blair’s, just presented differently and also she hates him at the moment. they’re both grieving with pretty much no support system

- jenny and eric, despite not getting their spots in that summary, do have places in this fic! as if i could leave them out—blair just wants to. eric has been struggling a lot, and she doesn’t want to give him false hope, while jenny is… early s1 jenny. the kind of person blair barely even thinks of noticing

- (there’s this sequence in my brain tho where eric skips taking his meds and serena tells blair and blair just. shows up for him. but she can’t just say that the invisible spirit of his sister was spying on him and he can’t really figure out why she’s there)

- vanessa is really only there because she figured out the whole ‘being haunted’ thing in an honestly sherlockian manner, and then humphrey started insisting—or that’s what blair would tell you, anyway

- while nate has to come to terms with his very intense and screwed up feelings about the past (and blairenate all have to reconcile with each other!), vanessa’s arc would be more about dealing with the utter weirdness of these people and with the fact that dan seems… way more down than she is, and so does jenny. she’s trapped by the present

- there’s a really interesting element to this that blair has to act as an intermediary between dan and vanessa and dan and jenny, and is pretty effectively forced into making friends with them because of it

- utterly delighted by the idea of dan just trying to talk to his sister while blair and jenny are in conflict. they’re glaring each other down and also trying to pretend they aren’t while blair repeats him exactly in a voice like ice. why is dan so charmed by this

- also ‘yes your sister’s ghost is in the room. so is the ghost who she started dating, what a weirdo’ and eric having to deal with that. how do you deal with that. is he nice?

- honestly derena’s early ghost dates would be the cutest shit. they can go anywhere at anytime and no one else knows to stop them. giggling as they change seats at the movie theater because people keep sitting in them. going into museums and doing whatever they want. trying and failing to play pool. deciding to play chess instead because you can just say your moves out loud, right? realizing that neither of them have good enough memories

- blair’s search history is just like ‘am i gay’ and ‘bisexual definition’ and ‘how to kiss ghosts’

- blair herself has this whole thing where she’s been having the worst time and also refusing to accept things as they are. she isn’t dealing with her grief or with still seeing serena or with the idea that maybe ghosts are meant to pass on. not when she is here and she can make the world get on its knees and beg

- so while nate’s not-dealing would, i think, be pretty easy to manage in its own way, blair’s is the driver of the entire fic and therefore can’t be

- and pretty much any of the other mains could call her on that, and ask her if she’s sure she’s meant to be doing this in a way that she would listen to—though the level and type of conflict resulting from that would vary depending on which one (typical blair-serena fight except one of them is intangible, anyone?)

- i’m not actually saying that derena remaining dead is the good ending here, tbc, i’m just saying blair has to deal with some feelings and like. have a conflict about it before they can actually come back

- and idk maybe it’s one of those ‘you just casually made me alive again once you stopped trying wow let’s make out about it’ type moments

- also blair and her girlfriend sabrina and her boyfriend dylan, who are definitely not living under assumed identities and don’t have any resemblance to certain publicly dead people what are you talking about

- constance is torn between ‘blair is paying professional impersonators’ and ‘blair has secretly become a member of the united states marshals despite being seventeen and both serena and that humphrey kid are in witness protection’

[cyberrat]

76th Batch Of Fics: 14th Fill

Reaper/Soldier76 – Vampire Hunter AU – Part ¼ (cont part 3&4 next batch) – gay virgin Jack; blowjob – Vampire Hunter Jack is on the hunt for Lord Gabriel but is the one caught instead.

---

The little hamlet that the whispered stories have led Jack to is not as morose as other places he has been to in his life as a hunter.

In fact, the place is positively upbeat. Despite the gray overhang of clouds that stubbornly clings to the place and keeps a consistent wetness on the skin, the people do not seem the worse for wear on first glance.

He can’t help but look toward the dark castle looming above it all. It is so close, Jack feels like he can see flickering lights in its windows from time to time as well as humanoid shadows moving around.

It’s an unusual sight for sure… but Jack is not an idiot and he knows what to look for. The nervous strain around a smile just too wide for comfort; the twitching of an eye checking the surroundings for something suspicious.

They’re wary of him which makes sense. He does not tell them that he is here to free them of the oppressive presence of their current lord.

He is not in the business for gratitude. He does it for revenge – and, if he is quiet honest, curiosity. Never have been stories about a Lord this colorful, this… conflicting. Some speak about him as the most beautiful man that has walked the earth, a lover of arts and people a like. Others have talked about him as a wretch that cultivates the humans in the hamlet as one would a flock of chicken.

He is not yet entirely sure whether he is dealing with a Vampire, some kind of other monster or just a regular eccentric Lord that has unwittingly made quite a reputation for himself.

Jack approaches the castle after a few days in the Hamlet in which he had been trying to gather information that is more believable than anything else he’s been able to glean during his travels. The safety of the day has not failed him yet… but obviously his luck had to run out at some point.

.o.

A tickling sensation against his ear slowly pulls Jack out of the darkness of unconsciousness. He exhales through a mouth that feels dry as the sand on the beach, slowly moving his fingers and toes just to make sure that he still possesses all of them.

As if his mind had been read, a cup is placed against his lips and he is ordered to drink by a low, smooth voice.

Since he does not smell anything suspicious, he does so, gulping down the water offered to him so the fog achingly filling his skull may recede somewhat. It does, but he honestly doesn’t believe that it helped since the vision before him is too otherworldly to make any sense to a sane person.

The man is tall and beautiful with a dark mane of hair swept to one side of his scalp which he is holding cocked as well, a politely inquisitive look in his dark eyes.

He is smiling, unselfconsciously showing off the sharp fangs he possesses. He is not trying to hide himself, hands folded in front of his body, fingers steepled and adorned with a few glittering rings and sharp claws.

“You are awake… wonderful. You had looked to be quite a sturdy fellow but my pet has been rather rough with you, so I had been unsure…” he trails off, taking a step closer. He extends a hand which Jack instinctively tries to avoid without any luck. He is chained to a chair, he realizes with nowhere to go.

The Lord of the mansion gently clicks his tongue, his fingers careful as they brush along Jack’s cheek. “Shhh… do not be afraid. I do not intend to harm you.” He takes a step closer, his robes rustling softly as he lifts his other hand and cups Jack’s face in his palms.

His lips are full and soft looking, Jack realizes almost against his will.

“But I might change my mind if you’re not a good boy.” His tumb lightly drags over Jack’s mouth, the sharp nail pressing against his bottom lip. “You are… intriguing. Not beautiful but… handsome. Yes. Very handsome. And capable, are you not? Your reputation precedes you, Mister Morrison. My kind whispers about you in the shadows. I would never have dreamed, though…” he trails off.

Jack is just quietly staring at him, his hands balled into fists. His heart is beating fast but from the warmth suffusing his body it feels like it isn’t doing so out of fear.

“Your eyes… they look like the sky on a bright, sunny day,” the Lord suddenly whispers. There is yearning in his voice, fingers trailing up and touching the corners of Jack’s eyes. “It has been so long since I have seen something this breath taking. I simply must have you.”

Jack’s face twists. He rips his head out of the monster’s grasp, pulling on his restraints.

“Get away from me you beast,” he spits out, willfully ignoring the excited hitch of his own breath. He can’t… oh he can’t! What even is this feeling?!

The Vampire smiles. He looks sad but unsurprised. “At least call me by my name… Jack.” Here he pauses briefly as if savoring the name on his tongue before continuing: “I am Gabriel.” He extends his hand again and although Jack tries to pull away, he lightly scratches him beneath the chin as if he were a dog.

“Join me,” Gabriel croons, his voice like chocolate. “I will adore you and your beautiful sunlight eyes for an eternity.”

Jack balks; mostly because his innermost being immediately responds with a resounding ‘yes’. He swallows thickly, turning his head away.

His voice is low, almost a whisper when he responds: “Never.”

Gabriel is quiet for a moment before he sighs and starts to walk around him, hand on Jack’s shoulder, squeezing gentle but firm.

“I can’t accept that response,” he murmurs, voice sounding like he honestly regrets it. When he speaks again, his voice is right next to Jack’s ear, breath tickling his skin and making his skin prickle with goosebumps. “I will give you a chance to think on my offer… I am sure you will see how very generous it was.”

“I don’t need any of your riches,” Jack spits back, blood pumping in his cheeks.

Gabriel can smell it obviously; the tip of his nose gently trails against his hot skin, his breath now tickling Jack’s cheek while his hand slides from his shoulder and deftly slips beneath Jack’s loosely bound shirt.

“I am not talking about riches, my sweet little treat. Mmmhhh… let me show you what a life with me could look like for you.”

Jack wants to tell him off; that he does not need to be shown anything by a monster because he will not change his mind – but he is struck silent by the gentle touch of Gabriel’s fingers against one of his nipples. It is rounding it until it pebbles into a tight, sensitive bud.

Jack’s breath hitches.

Gabriel moves around him, tugging his loose shirt to the side until he can see Jack’s pectoral. He croons, low and smooth. “Oh what a sweet little thing… just for me… Mmhh we’re going to have so much fun.”

He somehow manages to pinch the small hard peak of Jack’s nipple and pluck on it.

Heat shoots through the hunter’s body, his teeth grit together. He slams his heels against the hard stone floor but can’t really do anything more. It feels like he is about to claw out of his own skin in the best way possible – and the Vampire Lord looks absolutely delighted.

[blankerthought]

anyway, immortal au: everyone became immortal a different way, and after a while everyone knows each other. sort of like being the weirdos somewhere. it doesn’t matter if you don’t vibe that much, but you gotta get along because everyone knows everyone. i accidentally made it too long, so it’s below the cut. in my defense, it’s fun.

    phil did die, met death and then she was like “actually. actually.” so anyway he came back to life + a wife

wilbur has phases. like a plant in winter, but it’s death to life to undeath. sometimes he’s a ghost, sometimes he’s not.

tommy keeps getting reborn and he remembers as a 7 year old just so he can reexperience puberty over and over (he is incredibly bitter over this)

techno just. doesn’t die. (if he did he’d figure out he’s a god. but he doesn’t and he won’t, unless someone else interferes. also nobody who could figure it out plans on telling him. some think it’s compassion, some think it’s cruel. most just think it’s funny. living long enough can really fuck with your sense of humor.)

tubbo has a “super healing” type of immortality; the drawback is that for every wound healed there are new nerves, thus literally nothing ever gets less painful. everything is pain. however he’s decided that actually showing it is lame and can’t afford to be lamer than tommy, who is occasionally a literal child, thus he doesn’t tend to show it as much in public.

ranboo’s parent(s?) had a fun, wild night back in the day. nobody’s quite sure what the fuck he is, but he’s not budging. his parents still get gift baskets occasionally, though they refuse to disclose any information, and the note is just a lipstick kiss.

sapnap and bad are both demons, however they’re entirely different types, and bringing up the fact that they’re, theoretically, the same thing, sort of, will only devolve into a week-long argument. the etymology of demons is a wildly contradictory and controversial field, which of course means that there is an ever-increasing amount of “experts” on the subject, most of whom disagree and would stab one another given the opportunity. george did a seven-year course on it once but dropped out just before graduation, just for the sheer pettiness of it.

speaking of george, his immortality is of a muddled origin; he says he sold his soul to a god, but also that he can control dreams and life is a dream, so of course he’s immortal, but also that mushrooms are ageless and eternal and cannot be killed in a way that matters. so anyway nobody really wants to go too deep into that.

dream says he’s god, and there’s a god with his name and face going around, but that god claims he’s not dream but he copied dream’s face and name, but that also means that dream was there before the god was, but also nobody can quite agree when the first time anyone saw him was, but also there’s a very high possibility that there’s more than one of him just running around, but also george, sapnap, bad, callahan, punz, and ant all say they’ve known him the longest and all their stories contradict.

skeppy tied himself to bad. the diamond part came before. he acts like it’s normal, and in fact it’s everyone else who’s weird.

callahan claims he just woke up like that one day

punz says he took a contract and he’s not dying until it’s done (nobody knows if this means when he’s done with his task or if he means he’s not dying until he gets paid. knowing him, there’s a high chance it’s the second.)

ant just says that gods saw him being gay with his boyfriend and were so moved they made them immortal. the worst part is that it’s probably true, but it also means that he was just. a cat being really gay and then suddenly he was humanoid. 

sam kept making android bodies and moving to them and now he’s too far in to stop.

ponk’s trees give him life, like a dryad, but also in that same “ah yes if you get too close to their tree you Will Get Consumed” way. look if she wants to do that stuff i won’t stop them. girlboss and all that yknow

foolish and eret- literally canon. they have beautiful lore and i love it and i am not changing it it’s literally already there and perfect lmao.

tina hasn’t explained anything. she just says cats can have as many lives as they want. ant backs her.

fundy calls his parentage “something so unholy death hadn’t seen coming” and claims that he’s still alive because there’s nowhere for him to go

hannah’s a fairy... of the “may i have your name?” type.

jack was a mortal who died and crawled out of hell. this continued for several decades before they just installed some stairs for the guy bc at this point you know might as well, he seems nice enough and he’s funny so they’re just giving him that. also yes he doesn’t go through kristen or anything, he just goes Straight to Hell. they’re thinking there’s been an administration error somewhere but it’s too much trouble to go change it now

niki killed a god. 

puffy says “some treasure probably was never meant to be found. mine was though and it fucking rules.” then she did a triple backflip. everyone got distracted by that point also there was a lot of alcohol so it’s not like 100% clear

eryn just. Emerges, like a cukoo. usually near tommy’s newest reincarnation. 

karl’s time froze around him

michael mcchill has an increasing amount of theories on how his immortality came to be as well- but he has a nagging suspicion that he poked his head in and found something that wasn’t meant to be found, something someone didn’t want him finding.

hbomb, in between podcast guests and games, managed to get some special patronage.

quackity made a high-stakes gamble once upon a time- and rigged it in his favour.

purpled’s an alien who doesn’t quite get what all this “mortal” stuff really means at first. what do you mean, you just grow old? you don’t stop it? just don’t. it’s that simple.

connor made a deal, a long time ago. relatedly, schlatt has a... talent, shall we say, for deals.

boomer’s also a fae, but once upon a time, that wasn’t so true. also his type and hannah’s are opposite. 

slimecicle has been there a long, long time. 

[thinger-strang]

okay okay centerfold au (like....the song by the j geils band) where billy mas moved out and away from hawkins (he hasnt quite made it to california yet, hes not ready) and hes starting to let himself be gay and think gay thoughts and ya know indulge himself every so often

which obviously means he picks up a magazine from the back corner of the corner store he frequents

he does for something a little tamer, maybe throws in a few playboys just because hes nervous (which doesnt even matter because the cashier doesnt even spare the covers a glance once scanned)

gets home and eagerly flips through it, feeling excited that he can have gay porn out in the open in his living room without fearing for his life

hes mostly just idly looking through it, folding down a few corners of pages he'll revisit when hes in the mood, just kinda reveling in the freedom of it

until

he flips to the centerfold, the showcase, the main event and it's–

"steve?"

billy fucking drops the entire magazine, it lays open, teasing billy with those big brown eyes and tantalizing moles

its a good shot honestly, pretty tasteful, definitely not modest, but billy can appreciate the artful quality

of course not in this moment, in this moment billy is panicking?

who the hell told steve harrington he was allowed to do that?

billy finds himself staring at the photo; steve as the centerpiece, draped across several laps, being groped by way too many hands for billy's liking, steve's got a half hard cock in one hand, the other possessively wrapped around the thigh of a man standing next to him, everyone's sweaty and there's splatters of something all over everyone, and there's hard and soft dicks and muscular legs and soft bellies and flexing muscles but only one face

steve stares at the camera–at billy–with an enticing stare that seems to ask "what are you waiting for?" and the barest hint of a tongue pokes out–

billy cant look away but wants to tear his gaze away to anything else, he wants to memorize the page, he wants to burn it, he wants to frame it, he wishes it never existed, he wants to be in that room

billy thought he was over this silly crush on straight boy steve but heres he is, gripping another man's cock, letting another man's cock rest on his leg, letting other men hold him and touch him

it might be fine if billy hadn't seen steve in years, hadn't seen steve since he left that fucking hellhole behind but no, no!

steve harrington, the man who happened to be the centerfold of the one single gay magazine billy happened to pick up, was his upstairs neighbor

///

billy stares at the ground as he stops to get his mail, hoping, praying, that he'll be lucky and not run into anyone on his way home

prayers not answered

"hey billy, i haven't seen you in a while, you doin' okay?" steve asks cheerfully as he wiggles his own mailbox open.

"yup, doing just fine, thanks for asking" billy slams his box shut and hurries to the elevator without running and jabs the close door button a hundred million times

"woah hang on, hold the door!" steve calls after him, juggling his mail and his groceries that billy somehow didn't notice

steve makes it

fuck

steve's blabbering on about.... something, billy can't hear a word he's saying, he focusing on thinking about anything other than–

sweaty

magazine

dick

nude

moles

dick

dick

dick

billy is begging for any thought, anything, to cross his mind, anything but that stupid centerfold

"hey are you sure you're okay?" steve asks in a far too nice voice

"i told you i'm fine, please just leave me alone?" billy grits out

"i thought we were past all that" steve says in a sad voice

billy sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose

"we are, i'm just having an off day, got this killer headache ya know?" he lies through his teeth

"oh okay, gotcha, i'll be quiet" steve mimes zipping up his mouth

why is that worse why is that hot?

it's billy's floor and he can't get into his apartment fast enough

pulls out his dick and jerks it a few times before cumming right there in his kitchen floor

///

things don't get better

at all

billy avoids steve like the plague, which it wasn't like hung out on the regular, but theyd chit chat in the elevator or say hi when passing each other

so it was just awkward when billy would see steve in the hallway and immediately turn the other way

so it's not that surprising to wake up on a saturday morning to angry pounding on his door

"i'm coming, i'm coming, hold your fucking horses" billy grumbles as he pulls on a shirt and walks to the door

yanks it open to find a grumpy steve with his hands on his hips

"what gives hargrove? you said we were fine yet avoid me any time we so much as make eye contact? did i do something?"

billy has not had enough sleep to handle this conversation

"no you didn't do anything, it's kinda hard to explain just–" billy opens up his door to invite steve in

steve shoulders past billy and plops onto the couch

"coffee?" billy asks as he rubs his eyes

"im good" steve bites out

great

billy rolls his eyes and gets busy making himself a pot, trying to figure out how to say this, what to even say that would make this remotely okay

"oh my god" steve gasps

"what?" billy groans

he turns around and sees steve holding the magazine, clutching it really, something close to horror drawn all over his face

billy left it out on the coffee table as some sort of sick twisted 'fuck you' to neil

"shit shit SHIT i can explain–"

"no no i get it, um... i think i'm going to go, just... yeah i'm sorry i'll just–"

and with that steve was gone

///

this is worse, so so so very much worse

they either need to talk about it or billy needs to fucking find a new apartment

billy comes home after a long day at work to find steve knocking at his door

"hey–"

"jesus christ you scared me!" steve jumps into the wall

"sorry i kinda... snuck up on you, what are you doing at my door?" billy adjusts his backpack

"i, um... i wanted to explain? or talk? i get why you were avoiding me, i honestly forgot that came out this month" steve is twelve shades of the prettiest blush billy has ever seen

"hang on, let's go inside, i don't really wanna talk about this in the hallway"

steve's shoulders relax and he pressed himself into the wall to let billy open his door

steve sits awkwardly on the couch as billy hang up his bag and jacket and starts taking off his boots

"i... don't really know where to start" steve chews on his bottom lip and fidgits with his fingers

"i'm gay" billy blurts out

"what?" steve laughs

"i mean, i have a gay porn magazine, you're all nervous, i figured i'd break the ice?" billy shrugs

steve laughs and looks ten times lighter

"those pictures are older, i did them to help pay some bills while i was inbetween jobs, it was for a smaller thing, a blog or something, i dunno, it payed good so i said yes, i was desperate"

steve tuns his hands through his hair and breathes

"the guy who took the pictures asked if i'd be okay with him selling them to a bigger magazine, he said i'd get half the profits so i said yes"

steve shrugs and looks out the window

"so you just... did it for the money?" billy asks

"yes and no, i'm gay–well not gay, i'm bi but i'm... into dudes and all that, but mostly just to pay the bills"

steve finally meets billy's gaze with an almost scared look but more of a 'what are you gunna do about it' look

a lot like the one in the magazine

"that's cool, pretty brave too" billy says casually and leans back into his chair

"yeah... i'm kinda scared my job is going to find out that my dick is all over a magazine" steve laughs nervously

"you'll be fine, if it helps, you'd make a killing as a porno model"

billy grins wickedly in steve's direction

steve tries to smile back but it turns into a grimace

"i don't think it's weird, by the way... and while i don't think my crush on you from high school has quite gone away, i'm not going to like, make a move ot try to do anything" billy nudges steve's toe with his own

"okay" steve smiles for real this time

"okay" billy smiles back

"you really had a crush on me in high school?" steve smirks

"oh god, yeah, it was so bad, i didn't know what to do so i was just... an ass!" billy laughs

steve laughs along too and it's just comfortable, more comfortable than they've been ever

"do you wanna go get dinner?" steve smiles lopsidedly

"what!"

"like a date, do you want to go on a date with me?"

"it won't be weird?" billy asks earnestly

"not unless you make it weird"

billy grins and stands

"then let's go on a date!" he hold out his hand an hauls steve up

///

they're walking in comfortable silence, bumping into each other's shoulders, trying to make the other drop their left over box

they get to billy's door and kean against it, very much in each other's space

"you wanna know a secret?" steve asks with a mischievous glint in his eye

"sure"

"i had a crush on you in high school too" steve smiles and rests his forehead against billy's

"oh yeah!" billy leans into steve's touch, their noses bumping

"hell yeah" steve closes the distance and presses a soft kiss into billy's lips

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

So more on the Beauford Swan AU, how do you think Alice and Rosalie's relationships with him are different? I assume Rosalie doesn't compare herself to Beauford the exact same way she compares herself to Bella, and Alice's Barbie Bella dream probably doesn't translate directly into a Ken Beau. How would that effect their initial relationships and the eventual family dynamics (Let's just assume this is the Beau Gives Up and Asks Carlisle to Turn Him version)?

Ooooh, interesting question anon.

For reference the Beauford AU: one, two, and three.

Specifically, we're in post number three, where Beauford survives Edward (huzzah for Beauford).

Rosalie

Rosalie's relationship with Beauford is a rollercoaster of weird.

At first, Beauford is a nothing special human. Rosalie's a little amused the girls are going wild for him, and she sees the appeal if you're into sensitive pretty boys (not Rosalie's type), but it has nothing to do with her.

As you point out, Rosalie doesn't have that conflict with her own beauty and comparison to Bella. Just per being a man, Rosalie will not compare herself to Beauford constantly.

Then Edward has his Biology breakdown and becomes increasingly weird.

Rosalie probably still suggests they kill off Beauford for nearly being crushed by a van. While Rosalie did have inner conflict over Bella, most of what informed that was Rosalie's lack of desire to move, that wouldn't change because of Beauford.

She probably wonders what the hell Edward's deal is, why is he obsessed with this guy, and then she has her "oh" moment.

Edward is gay.

Edward has always been gay.

Suddenly everything makes sense. The fact that Edward has shown 0 interest in Rosalie, that he showed 0 interest in Tanya who was practically throwing herself at him, that he shows 0 interest in any woman period.

Rosalie never suspected as much before, or at least, never put two and two together. But of course Edward is gay, it all makes sense now.

Edward doesn't like that idea, not at all, and accuses Rosalie of being a jealous shrew who is so offended by the idea that Edward isn't attracted to her that she accuses him of homosexuality.

Rosalie never said a word of this out loud.

The family has the biggest fight they've ever had. And, somehow, it's not over the murder of Beauford, but Edward's sexuality. No definitive conclusion is reached, but if you ask Edward, he is most definitely a heterosexual hot blooded man. Now, if you excuse him, he's going to go sneak into Beauford's room to crush the spiders that might sneak onto his pillow.

But back to Rosalie and Beauford.

Rosalie becomes increasingly exasperated as Edward romances Beauford without admitting he's romancing Beauford. He also does ridiculous things like adamantly refuse to turn Beauford into a vampire.

Rosalie tries to point out that he and Edward have no future like this. Edward doesn't care, he'll nobly leave Beauford anyway, as soon as he has the strength to. Rosalie tries to point out that a man doesn't take another man to a romantic Italian dinner (where he can't even eat anything) unless he's romantically interested. Edward tells Rosalie that she's never been as beautiful as she thought she was!

Rosalie decides, "fuck it", and she will be a part of Beauford's welcome committee when Edward invites him to meet the family. She's only given a few hours notice, but she just feels so bad for this guy. Edward's stringing him along, but is too in love with his own closet to ever have a real relationship.

She has no idea what Beauford thinks about it, but she's just dying of secondhand embarrassment. And yes, she thinks that Beauford should probably live a human life, and that Edward should either leave him alone or turn him, but at the very least she has to explain that her brother's an idiot.

Well, turns out, Beauford is also an idiot. And he's weird.

Rosalie finds herself meeting the most sensitive, womanly, man she's ever seen in her life. This guy is a delicate flower, she feels like if she breathes on him he might shatter into a thousand pieces.

He's very polite, very charming, but she watches as he does things like cry at Edward's piano playing and then let Edward eat his tear.

What the fuck?

Rosalie throws her hands in the air. There's no helping these two, they deserve each other, Rosalie out. Well, the baseball game happens, which turns into a disaster and a half.

Rosalie still likely gives her "Why are we risking our own deaths over this guy we don't even know" and Beauford assumes that Rosalie hates him (not helped by Rosalie giving him "are you crazy" looks all the time as well as Edward telling Beauford that Rosalie is jealous of his beauty and Edward's very platonic affections for him).

That summer Rosalie barely sees Beauford. When she does, he and Edward are cuddling on the couch. She asks if Edward's admitting he's gay yet, the answer is always no. She rolls her eyes and leaves to work on her cars.

New Moon happens, Rosalie doesn't know what to think anymore, but she supposes this is a decent outcome. Beauford gets to live a normal, human, life and move on.

They're back six months later.

Fast forward a bit and Beauford is turned by Carlisle. Rosalie sits down to think about it, Carlisle makes it clear why this happened, and she's back to feeling bad for Beauford.

Edward treats him like trash, he's downright vicious to Beauford, and Beauford looks like he's about to cry constantly. Rosalie reaches out and the pair have a good long talk about life, the universe, and her Pig Brother Edward.

Rosalie assures Beauford that Edward will get over it, he'll forgive Beauford eventually, and someday he'll stop being an ass. Beauford is comforted, but Edward never stops being an ass.

Rosalie and Beauford end up best friends instead.

They have nothing in common.

Alice

Alice still makes Beauford her Barbie Beauford, but with a slightly masculine twist.

She buys him fabulous clothes, so that his closet is filled with blazers, turtlenecks, and very tight pants. She still throws him a sweet sixteen eighteen, only instead of a million pink candles the candles are now blue.

Beauford is still utterly mortified.

She gets him a tux for Prom and Beauford ends up going with Edward though neither Edward nor Beauford realize they're in fact going to Prom together as a couple.

Alice still sees Beauford as her best friend and is absolutely ecstatic for his and Edward's "friendship". As Alice never sees the pair having sex, she is absolutely fine with the platonic label and fully agrees with Edward that theirs is a very platonic relationship.

Alice is still the best friend Beauford ever had because he has no friends and doesn't know what friendship is. Though he kind of wishes she'd stop buying him clothes.

Their relationship goes down the drain after Beauford is turned.

As Beauford and Edward's relationship falls apart, he looks to Alice for comfort, but she has none to provide. She doesn't see him and Edward working out any time soon and, well, glad you're a part of the family?

Alice realizes that her and Beauford's friendship isn't going to work out either. She's upset about this, but doesn't see any way to salvage it without completely alienating Edward. Alice will choose Edward.

Alice ponders over might have beens and wonders when the future shifted but quietly watches as Beauford becomes closest with Rosalie.

[drowningindango]

Gen Swap AU (masterpost)

This is an overview for the AU as a whole. (Will be updated if there are changes or additions.)

Setting: It’s not a complete “swap”, but actually just takes the entire Founder generation and moves them into the present. (There is the fun implication that the village was built by a warring states version of Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke instead, but shhhhh. That’s an entirely different story. We avoid all thoughts on who created Konoha here. Regardless of what happened in the past, Team 7 still exists as normal in their own time as well. Maybe they were reincarnated.)

The main focus is technically on Madara and Obito, but the world building is so fun to explore that everyone else gets to shine as well.

This is a happier timeline and most of the tragic events do not happen/happen differently.

Relationships:

Family:

In this AU, Mikoto is Tajima’s oldest daughter. That means, as Mikoto’s younger brothers, Madara and Izuna are directly related to Sasuke. They are his uncles and Tajima is Sasuke’s grandfather.

I might add Madara’s other siblings later, if I find the time to make the appropriate OCs. They are all alive.

Hashirama’s siblings are all alive too.

Genin teams:

Madara, Mito and Hashirama are in one team. Kushina is the jounin acting as their leader and teacher while they are genin.

Tobirama, Touka and Izuna are in one team.

Friendships:

Obviously the genin teams mentioned above grow into close friendships.

Butsuma and Tajima are cranky old men who meet up regularly to exchange gossip.

Madara and Gai are a duo of chaos that should not be left unsupervised. Equally enthusiastic to challenge each other.

Mikoto and Kushina are both alive and close friends.

Romantic relationships:

MadaObi: The whole AU was initially made for this ship. Obito and Madara have vaguely known each other since childhood. Obito starts a somewhat one sided rivalry that turns serious the more he grows in skill when he’s older and somewhere along the way they fall in love.

IzuTobi: They eventually become boyfriends and terrify everyone.

HashiMadaObiMito: The seeds for this polycule develop after Obito starts pursuing Madara. HashiMito is happily bullying their way into the relationship (and Obito’s pants).

HashiMito: High school sweethearts, if high school existed in this universe. Power couple with a strong libido. (Yes, this is relevant information because I say so.)

HashiMadaMito: Somewhat complicated. Madara was always kinda included in their relationship. Unofficial couple, but everyone just sees them and assumes they’re together from the way they act. In some versions of the AU they are a steady poly couple before Obito comes into the picture, in others they’re living in a limbo state where Madara himself is unsure if he is even a part of their relationship.

KakaRin: *holds them up like a potato* I just think they’re neat.

Other relationships:

Tajima used to be Uchiha clan head but eventually retired and gave up the role. Fugaku is his successor (and son-in-law), and Tajima never wastes a chance to throw snark at him. It’s his retirement hobby.

Obito eventually becomes Tajima’s son-in-law… and favourite son overall.

Touka and Izuna are rivals.

Mito will eventually teach Tenten in fūinjutsu.

Ages (at the time of Kakashi Gaiden*):

(*The AU covers multiple generations, I simply picked a point in time so you can compare the ages of relevant characters)

Tajima 43

Fugaku 30

Mikoto 25

Kushina 22

Minato 22

Madara 15

Obito 13

Kakashi 13

Rin 13

Yamato/Tenzou 9

Hashirama 15

Mito 15

Izuna 11

Tobirama 11

Touka 11

Itachi 3

(Sasuke will be born 2 years later)

[looney-mooney]

Thinking about making an au where Sam and Max are Haru’s distant, crazy gay American uncles who she hasn’t thought about in a while. Until she starts seriously dating Legosi, after which she’s like “maybe I should contact Uncle Max, he’s been married to a vigilante canine for ages”

Details for the Insane Beastars/Sam and Max au under the cut

Max of course DEMANDS to see his niece and her crazy new wolf boyfriend, so they end up going on a trip to the Beastars version of New York City. Louis ends up going along and paying for the trip, because he was already headed over for a business deal so they might as well.

The Beastars version of New York City is obviously culturally different from the Beastars version of Japan, and Legosi ends up getting a new perspective (as he always does.) There are some bugs who can actually talk here (???), and meat isn’t considered taboo in the same way. Most people sign up to be meat donors in their driver’s licenses, because there’s a tax incentive. This move has considerably lessened the strain between Herbivores and Carnivores, so though there’s still definitely some tension between the two groups, those who vehemently insist that carnivores and herbivores shouldn’t interact or date or anything are generally considered right-wing bigots. Most people don’t even really see a separation anymore - carnivores can be meat donors too, and some herbivores here eat meat sometimes. Most Americans are just omnivores.

Systematic racism is still a thing, obviously, because America just Sucks Like That, but I’m White so I’m not even gonna attempt to map out the History of American Racism with Furries. Just know that most people in America have at least a little bit of mixed ancestry, and Legosi probably thinks that’s cool and fascinating while everyone else is like “you seriously didn’t know about the Great American Melting Pot? Bruh have you been living under a rock”

Max is part piranha and no I am not elaborating

They also don’t have permanent Beastars in the States. The closest thing they have to a Beastar is the President, which in this world is… basically the American Beastar. I’m having this be the case mostly so that President Max still fits in with the Beastars Lore ™

Geek exists, and is just a bit younger than Haru and Legosi. She’s probably in high school, but taking college classes at the same time, because Geek’s just. Like That. She’s probably a monkey. Haru isn’t sure what she thinks about Geek at first, but then they start talking and plotting mutant botany projects together and Haru decides that this is her favorite cousin actually

I think Sybil should be at least part fox. Maybe even kitsune-coded, since she changes careers so often? Doctor Mama Bosco’s probably either a dog or a sheep, maybe a sheepdog hybrid? Whatever she is, she started her cloning experiments with insects, which is how Sal and the other talking insects in New York came to exist. Bosco’s probably one of those experimental spider goats or something. The Stinkys are carnivorous seafolk of some sort, originally from the Hudson River but migrated to Land when the river got too polluted for their ancestors to keep living there exclusively. Grandpa Stinky was probably fascinated by land culture and particularly cooking as a young sea-land immigrant, and just messed with the art of cooking as much as possible, which led to the insane food he sells at his diner. I am not going to attempt to assign Abraham Lincoln a fursona.

Legosi spends a good chunk of the trip trying to impress Sam and Max, because these people are members of Haru’s Family and he wants them to like him, but then Legosi ends up star-struck by how well Haru’s uncles work together. He’s never seen partners quite like them in action before, and tries to get them to teach him. But these guys aren’t shonen anime mentors, they’re Sam and Max, so it becomes more of a “hey back off buddy just be yourself and maybe trust your partners a little bit more”

Max in particular really tears Legosi a new one, really gives him a nice good shovel talk. Like, Max likes the kid, sure. Legosi’s the BEST kinda crazy and also a really sweet guy and he seems to care about his niece a lot. But he’s really, REALLY annoyed by how much Legosi shuts Haru out of his life. Like, she’s Max’s kin, she’d be able to take care of herself, she doesn’t need you to protect her to the point of reverence, she needs you to let her in. And not just sexually! Though he has some health class tips and condoms if they wanna do that, cuz he’s the cool uncle. But if you wanna be her partner, you have to RESPECT her, kapiche? Stop treating her like some damsel in distress, she’s tougher than you think. I will end you if you don’t stop infantilizing her.

Sam and Max teach Haru how to fight at some point, because no relative of theirs is gonna go through life not knowing how to defend themselves! Max specifically teaches Haru how to use her hammerspace, and now nobody is safe from her wrath. They also taught her how to use a gun, while scolding Louis for never teaching her this incredibly important life skill! For shame.

Imagine Haru with a gun. The power she would wield. No wonder Paru nerfed her

Speaking of Louis, I’m sure he gets involved in the misadventure somehow, probably by getting accidentally tangled with the villain’s plot during his business deal. I’m sure it’s tangled up in the reveal that Mama Bosco was involved with the anthropomorphic insects, just cuz that’s the biggest and newest difference between these two cultures, and might also somehow nod to the systematic racism in America and how fucked up that is.

Might also address how capitalism is the root of all evil, and how the pressure to conform to capitalism in order to maintain a position of power in his attempts to make the world a better place while also giving Legosi and Haru the space to have their own relationship (while also forcing himself to maintain the charade of a heteronormative arranged marriage with someone he isn’t even remotely attracted to) has been slowly but ruthlessly breaking Louis in a terrible cycle, and how he’s spent so much of his life hiding behind masks that he doesn’t even know who he is anymore. And now he’s in a cage again, but this time he put himself there, with his own actions. And Legosi has to tell him that he doesn’t have to pretend all the time, that he’s his best friend and he wants to help. That he and Haru both love him, and they want him in their lives.

The whole adventure probably ends with Haru saving her boy’s butts, and ruthlessly affirming what Legosi just said. Demanding that they BOTH stop hiding from her, and BOTH stop trying to “protect” her. That she NEEDS them, and she wants them to need her. That they don’t have to be Beastars to be PARTNERS.

And then the whole family (yes I’m including Louis and Legosi in this family) beats the villains up and goes out for a celebratory meal or something IDK how to end things

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi lovely 💖 I have a request for some reca for the community. I have no idea how to search for it but I have a burning need for fics involving John being a confident flirt or coming on to Sherlock and S being a blushing disaster. I know I’ve read some before (like the one where John is a wereslut lmao) but I can’t think of anymore. Anyone in the remaining hive mind got ideas? 💖💖💖 thank you for doing god’s work in these trying times and always being wonderful.

Hey Lovely!!

Ahhh I think the fics on my John Centric Fics / Sex God John masterpost might be good! 

Here’s some flirting fics, so thank you for the excuse to start a new list!! <3 Of course, if anyone has any suggestions, please add your own! <3

FLIRTING

Sherlock and John Go Clubbing by wendymarlowe (E, 4,716 w., 3 Ch. || Clubbing, Dirty Talk, Dancing, Coming Untouched, Coming in Pants, Bi John, For a Case, Friends to Lovers, Flirting, Sherlock is Lost for Words, Sexy John, Mutual Pining, Possessive John, Floor Sex/Hand Job/Frottage) – John pinched the bridge of his nose - even for Sherlock, this was a new level of no bloody boundaries. “You want me to go with you to a gay club, wait around twiddling my thumbs while I let you get pawed by a criminal, then out-flirt him and talk you into coming home with me instead?” Part 32 of John and Sherlock's Kinky First Times

The Effect of Memory by testosterone_tea (E, 6,430 w., 1 Ch. || Praise Kink, First Kiss / Time, Fluff, Smut, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Confused Sherlock) – John has temporary amnesia coming off of anaesthesia after an operation and not only does he not recognize Sherlock, he starts flirting with him! After John recovers, he doesn’t remember the incident at all. But Sherlock does. Confusion ensues.

To Quote Malcolm Tucker; or, Get The Fuck In or Fuck The Fuck Off by kim47 (T, 8,484 w., 1 Ch. || Jealous Sherlock, Flirting, Cockblocking) – Sherlock is cockblocker and a prick tease and John is not amused.

A Brand of Gold by aquabelacqua (M, 12,757 w., 1 Ch. || Mutual Pining, POV John, Phone Sex, Texting, Masturbation, Long Distance, Drunk Texting) – What am I doing? he wondered. The answer came back at once: Flirting. He let the vital, missing piece snap into place as surely and as cleanly as if it had always been there. He was flirting with Sherlock Holmes.

The shape of the world around us by Salambo06 (E, 15,058 w., 5 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting || Lumberjack John / Botanist Sherlock, Different First Meeting, John Has a Beard, Light Case Fic, Flirting, First Kiss / Time, Masturbation, Love at First Sight, Horny Sherlock, John’s Bum, Bottomlock, Tenderness, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Shy Sherlock, Sexual Fantasies) – Looking through the bush, Sherlock felt his heartbeat quicken as a man passed in front of him. Sherlock frowned, trying to get a closer look despite the bush. The man was wearing a red plaid shirt rolled up to his elbows, and Sherlock couldn't take his eyes off the man’s arms. Muscular, slightly tanned with golden hairs along his forearms. For some unknown reason, Sherlock found himself imagining them around his waist, holding him tightly. Closing his eyes for the briefest second, Sherlock shook his head. Opening his eyes and looking back to where the man stood only a moment prior, he found himself alone. Great, now his only chance to find his way back to town was gone. “Why are you wearing a suit?”

Second Chance by SilentAuror (E, 15,816 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, Post-Divorce, Friends to Lovers, UST, Romance) – Now that John's divorce has gone through and the dust is settling, Sherlock thinks that he would very much like to see if there is any possibility of moving their friendship in another direction. The only thing is, he has no idea how to go about doing that...

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

You're On the Air by prettysailorsoldier (M, 20,616 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock, Matchmaking, Radio, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Flirting, Bisexual John) – The Consulting Detective and The Woman dominate the airwaves of their university radio station, doling out advice on everything from meeting the parents to sexual positions. When their ratings start to dip before the holidays, however, manager Mike thinks it's time for some fresh blood, and who better to fill in the gaps than rugby captain--and notorious flirt--John Watson? Part 1 of 25 Days of Johnlock

Guilty Secrets by Ellipsical (E, 55,086 w., 16 Ch. || Post-TRF, Drumsticks, First Kiss/Time, Love Confession, Self-Sexual-Discovery, Anal, Rimming, Orgasm Denial, Butt Plugs, Cooking, Furniture Sex, Bath Sex, Rimming, Double Penetration, Prostate Massage, Anal Beads, Dancing, Romance, Tantric Edging, Internalized Homophobia, Case as Foreplay, Anal Beads, Tickling, Dancing, Dry Coming, Romance) – John has a prostate exam and discovers something surprising about himself. Experimentation follows. Sherlock wants to help. They're in love. You know the drill.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of SpaceBois go to Space

floating through a dark blue sky by Lediona (M, 58,966 w., 15 Ch. || Notting Hill AU || POV John, Celebrity Sherlock, First Date / Time / Kiss, Past Drug Addiction, Angst with a Happy Ending) – Of course, I’d seen his films and always thought he was, well, brilliant -- but, you know, a million miles from the world I live in. Or, when John is the owner of a travel book shop and the famous Sherlock Holmes stops in one day.

31_Days_of_Porn_Challenge_2017 Series by distantstarlight (E, 96,540 w. across 31 stories || Prompt Ficlets, Assorted Kinks, PWP) – A collection in response to the 31 Days of Porn Challenge issued by AtlinMerrik! Thanks for doing that because this has been buttload of fun (that joke never gets old). All stories will be brief stand-alone one-shots.

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Facial Shaving, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose... is it a pirate's life for him?

[the-mad-starker]

Starker Smut: Perks and Quirks of Being Tony Stark's Bestie

Based off this ask sent by @starkeristheendgame :

Are you even friends if you don't try to out-cum each other? (Could also be out-fuck)

Ty for sending that ask! It really got me inspired and motivated to write (which hasn't happened in so long so 😭💗) I feel like this fic is a bit odd but 🤷🤷 also, if the formatting's weird, sorry 😭 Tumblr fighting me on this

Notes: College AU, same age Starker, porn watching (some straight porn then gay porn), handjob, friends with benefits? Friends to lovers? (I also like to think Oblivious Idiots in love 😅)

WC: 3674 (AO3) 💗💗💗 There are certainly perks to being Tony Stark's best friend. Peter knows it well but he's never taken advantage. It's always been Tony that pushes him into accepting things or just drags him along for the ride. It'd been that way since they met in high school and while Peter got into MIT on his own merit, he never would've been able to afford the cozy two bedroom apartment five minutes away from campus on his own.

"As if I'd let my best friend stay in the dorms," Tony had scoffed with a roll of his eyes, "You'd think you'd know better by now, Petey baby. You're stuck with me so just shut up and say yes." There are certainly perks but then there's… other stuff. Tony's been called the genius of their generation but he also has a few weird quirks that Peter's not sure anyone else would understand. Or at least there'd be a few raised eyebrows if they knew.

When Peter walks into their apartment, he expects Tony to be furiously working on something in the kitchen or living room. If he's in the kitchen, whatever he's working on would definitely not be food.When Peter walks into their apartment, he expects Tony to be furiously working on something in the kitchen or living room. If he's in the kitchen, whatever he's working on would definitely not be food. He's not in either of the rooms so Peter pads over to Tony's bedroom. The door's unlocked and Peter unsuspectingly walks in. As expected, he finds Tony there and the other boy is sitting on his bed. Given the heat, it's not surprising that he's wearing a white tank top but little else. His pants are in a crumpled mess on the floor which leaves him in just his boxers. This is where most people would jump back or run away because Tony isn't just lazing around in bed. Nope, Tony has his headphones in and he's lazily jerking off, eyes fixed on the laptop screen in front of him. Peter's attention is caught by the slow, captivating strokes his friend makes as he plays with himself. It's only natural that that's where Peter's eyes go. The way Tony touches himself is almost hypnotic. His cock is flushed pink and Peter can see that swollen tip poke out whenever the other boy strokes downwards, squeezing along the length until he reaches the base. Peter enjoys the view because Tony makes an attractive sight. Neither of them are really into sports but Tony's body is still solid with hard earned muscles. While Peter has his hyped up metabolism to thank for his lean body, Tony's probably earned his from all the hands-on work he does fixing cars and engineering. Watching Tony like this… It has to be a pavlovian response because this isn't anything new. It's actually become a habit, someone walking in on the other and casually inviting the intruder for a jerk off porn session. Once he sees what Tony's doing, his own body quickly heats up in anticipation. Peter huffs and leans against the doorway, angling his body to hide the evidence away. His arms cross over his chest and he feels his heart beating in excitement. "Do you have any decency?" Peter quips, voice pitched loud enough to get Tony's attention. "Should I come back later?" The other boy pauses and pulls off one of his headphones. Instead of being embarrassed like a normal human being, he grins at Peter. He looks happy to see him which probably isn't the normal response someone should have when their jerkoff session gets interrupted. "Hey, Peter," Tony says and gives his cock a few slow tugs while he talks. "How was class?" He lets go of his cock and gives a nice, slow stretch as though he'd been in that position for a while. It bobs in the air, slick with lube and still achingly hard. Peter sympathizes because his own cock has taken an interest and it's now straining against his pants. Peter then notices the wad of tissues in the small trash can by the bed and his nose wrinkles. "It was alright," he answers. "How many times did you do it already?" Tony follows his gaze and it's only then that he ruefully smiles at Peter. "Do it? You mean, come?" He laughs a little, "You're so weird, Peter. Can't even say come?" Peter blushes but doesn't back down. "You're the one jerking off in front of me," he retaliates. "If it's more than five, I'm leaving." "No, no, don't go," Tony protests. "It was, hmm, twice?" He

shrugs, "You can still catch up." Twice. Tony has already jerked off two times. There's no rule that they have to wait for each other to start but Peter considers saying there should be. "I have homework," Peter hedges, a clumsy excuse because when do they not have homework? Tony rolls his eyes and pats the space next to him. "All the better to get it all out of your system. C'mon, sit down already," he says in an attempt to convince Peter. "Besides, I want your opinion on this vid." Peter pretends to consider it for a second but he's never needed much convincing. It's as he thought earlier, there are certainly perks to being Tony's best friend but then there's this… thing they have going on. Peter doesn't know what to classify it because it's not like they have sex with each other and they're definitely not dating. Tony's just like this, so carefree, curious, and wild. The older boy shows no hesitation when it comes to talking about porn or sex with Peter. It might just be Peter, though, because he's never caught Tony doing it with anyone else. Maybe mildly flirting but then, that's just Tony's personality. He likes to joke around, likes to flirt, and apparently likes to watch porn with Peter. Maybe Peter's the only one that isn't weird about this, about watching porn with a friend. He kind of likes that idea, that he's the only friend Tony does this with. "Okay, fine, fine," Peter says as he unbuttons his pants. Tony smirks at him once he sees how hard he is but Peter just rolls his eyes. What does Tony expect, really? It's pointless to try to hide it now. He does, however, nearly fold his pants and sets them aside because May taught him better. He moves closer and Tony scoots over to give him space. There's ample room on the bed, Tony has a king for some reason, but since they're watching the porno on Tony's laptop, Peter remains close enough that their knees touch. "Ready?" Tony asks but he immediately tugs the plugged headphones out. The telltale sounds of an adult film immediately spills into the room. High pitched moans and the dirty wet sounds of a mouth sucking on a cock. Tony's been on an oral fixation lately. The last two videos they've watched were blowjobs. They never really watch the same video twice because that defeats the purpose of Peter being there to critique it. He settles down in his spot, his left knee and elbow brushing Tony's while his right forearm rests on his thigh. His hand barely brushes against the bulge his erection makes in his boxers. "I'll give you a head start," Tony says to which Peter shushes him. The video that Tony's picked out today has a woman on her knees. She's working on her partner's cock, stroking whatever part of it that isn't in her mouth. Drool drips down her chin and her red lipstick is smeared on her face as she sucks her partner off. It's not exactly Peter's taste but he can tell the woman is Tony's type. Curly honey brown hair cut short to her shoulders. She reminds him of a girl next door type of person, someone he could bump into on the street and never realize she does these kinds of videos. He almost startles when he feels Tony nudge the bottle of lube against his arm. "Thanks," Peter says absentmindedly as he takes it. He's watching the video and his body is slowly starting to heat up. He only knows Tony's returned to jerking off because he feels the other boy's elbow bump against him. A glance to his side confirms it but when he looks up, a shock of heat sears through his body when their eyes meet. Tony doesn't look away so Peter has to. Heat blooms across his cheeks and crawls down his neck. He's always had a hard time looking Tony in the eye while they're doing this. The other boy's gaze is just always so intense like the subject to be investigated isn't the video but Peter. It's a silly thought though. "She's not as loud as the last one," Peter says to offset the awkwardness. His voice is calm and collected but inside, he's shivering from the memory of Tony's eyes on him. Peter squeezes his cock through his boxers. He's already so

hard that just touching himself like this has him trembling in pleasure. Without looking at his friend, he takes himself out. "Yeah," Tony agrees. He already sounds breathless and Peter dares to take a peek at him again. "It was a little distracting last time, all that moaning sounded really fake so I thought this might be better." Fortunately or unfortunately, Tony isn't looking at him this time. He's back to watching the screen, his hand curled around his erection and giving it the same slow teasing strokes as before. Maybe he's pacing himself since Peter still has to catch up. Peter hums in agreement and forces his eyes back to the video. It doesn't really keep his attention though and his mind wanders, eyes glazing over as he focuses more on the sounds filling the room. His mind seems more in tune with what's happening around him though and he zeros in on the sound of Tony's breathing as it turns into soft panting. His own breathing escalates to match his friend's and Peter jerks himself off to the sound of Tony's breathless panting, to the wet sound of flesh sliding against flesh next to him. He lets out a moan himself. It feels good to touch himself after a long day of classes and with Tony next to him, it feels even better. A sharp inhale next to him has Peter's back straightening as he looks at Tony who's biting down on his lip while watching the screen. Tony's eyes flicker to him and his white teeth press down on his bottom lip. "You better not come," Peter grits out even as he's holding back from releasing. "You– ah– You said you'd let me catch up." "Yeah, I won't," Tony grunts, "don't take too long though, I've been holding back for a while now." "Literally no one told you to," Peter says. His voice has lowered into a strained, breathy murmur. "I'm almost there so just– just wait, okay? You're distracting me." Tony rolls his eyes but ends up chuckling breathlessly. He stops stroking but starts massaging his balls. He lets out a moan as soon as he starts and that has Peter squeezing his eyes shut, his hips stuttering as he fucks his cock into his fist. His heart is going crazy and he stops fighting it. He spills right there, his load coming out hard and fast. It ends up getting over his stomach and he milks it out, squeezing the tip of the last few drops. When Peter finally finished, his nose wrinkles at the mess. "Should've taken your shirt off," Tony says, voice strained. Peter shoots him a friendly glare which softens when he finds that his friend is still holding back. Tony's face is flushed, his eyes bright with desperation. And yet, he hasn't come even when it's obvious he's ready to pop off. On the screen, the video is still playing but Tony grimaces. "Let's switch it up," he says while absentmindedly fondling his balls. "Sure." Tony leans forward a bit and uses the touchpad on his laptop to search around. Peter's trying his hardest not to stare at the other boy's erection. It doesn't soften in the least and Peter just wants to reach out and touch it. He wants to feel the warmth of Tony's skin, wants to hear what kind of noises Tony will make if he dares to do it. To touch Tony… "Okay, this'll be a little different," Tony says when he leans back into position. "But I don't think you'll mind. Tell me if you do and I'll find something else." A new video starts and Peter glances at it without much interest. Then he almost does a double take when he sees it's two men on the screen. Tony's never put in a gay porno before, he couldn't have chosen one now… Could he? "A threesome?" Peter says curiously. His heart is pounding and then it goes into overdrive when the two men start making out. "I can look for one next time if you want?" Tony offers. When Peter looks at him, the other boy has a lazy smirk. He's not bothered at all by the two men kissing on screen and Peter swallows down the spit in his mouth. "No, this is… this is good. It's fine," Peter says. He tears his eyes away and returns to the video. "You're hard again," Tony comments nonchalantly. Peter looks down and yeah…

Yeah, he's hard. He's watching a gay porno with his friend. Tony either picked up that this is more to Peter's preference or… Or this is Tony's preference, too. Either option makes Peter want to run away or hide under a blanket. He does neither because he's not going to make this weird. "You have good taste," Peter says, "They're both really hot." Tony chuckles beside him. "Damn right, I do." They both fall silent and they're both more engrossed in this film. Peter actually takes the time to invest in what's going on. Both men are attractive and hot as hell. They don't waste any time stripping each other off and the expanse of newly exposed skin has Peter squeezing his cock. Despite this, he can't help glancing at Tony. He can't help wondering. Their eyes keep meeting and this time, Peter doesn't look away. Neither does Tony. He greedily takes everything in, admiring the way Tony's hair, previously slicked back, is falling into his eyes. Tony's mouth is also slightly parted and a quick pink tongue flicks out to wet dry lips. Peter wants to bite at them. Something changes between them at this moment. They're watching both the film and each other. For Peter, his attention is clearly on Tony and it's Tony that's making his cock hard. But even if it feels like something's changed, Peter still toes the line of their friendship. "Are you getting close again?" Tony pants. He's struggling not to come. Peter can tell by how he's gently tugging on his balls in an attempt to hold off. Peter bites down on his lip cause he's not quite there yet but he wants to so badly. He wants to come with Tony watching him but he just can't seem to do it. "I don't think I can," Peter groans. "Ugh, Tony, I'm getting tired…" Something in his expression must give his frustration away because Tony shuffles closer which makes Peter's heart go berserk. Not only does Tony come closer but he moves behind Peter. His legs stretch out, bracketing Peter's body. Suddenly, Tony's so much closer. Too close for comfort because Peter had just said he couldn't come but like this, it'd be so easy. It fuels all sorts of dirty imaginations that he shouldn't be having about his friend but... "I got an idea," Tony says, pressed so close against Peter's back. Surely, he can feel Peter's heart thumping like crazy? "What do you– Oh…!" Peter's entire body would've basically jumped in the air if it isn't for Tony's arms around him. "It's not fun if I win all the time, so we should at least end this in a tie, right, Pete?" Tony says. "Lemme help, okay?" Peter's wide-eyed and his hips buck uncontrollably when Tony's hand settles over his own. There's no mistaking what Tony wants to do. He shudders when Tony grips his cock. Those sturdy fingers that Peter often admires press down on him causing him to tighten his grip on his cock. Tony's touching him… Tony's touching his cock. Tony wants to help jerk him off. Peter might just come right then and there. "Tony– You're… touching me…" The words come out as an embarrassing squeak but Peter can scarcely believe it. "Mhmm…" Tony murmurs, amusement in that one single hum. Peter had just started the obvious so of course, he'd be amused. In any other circumstances, maybe Peter would be too. Instead, he feels like he's dreaming. He's looking down at his body, specifically between his legs where Tony's tanned hand is curled around his. "C'mon, Pete, either move your hand or I'll move it for you," Tony says right into his ear. That gets Peter moving and he starts stroking again, clumsy with the added weight of another hand. It shouldn't feel good because their hands are bumping and Tony being pressed against him is making him so… so flustered. But it does feel good. it feels so good that Peter's fighting tooth and nail not to come right away. He doesn't want this to end yet. Eventually, Tony does take over. When he pulls Peter's hand off by the wrist, Peter just shudders and lets him. His hand falls to the side and he grabs the bed sheets just to have some sort of anchor. He squeaks when Tony adds more

lube. "Sorry. Here, I'll make you feel good…" Tony promises him and he keeps true to his word. He practices those smooth steady strokes on Peter's cock and Peter recognizes the motion. It turns him on so much, he's clenching his teeth to hold back all those embarrassing moans that want to escape. "Tony…" Peter gasps. "I-It feels..." "Too slow? Too soft?" Tony chuckles. "I got you, Pete. Relax and lemme take care of it." Peter squeezes his eyes shut as Tony increases his pace. His grip tightens a little but it's enough to have Peter gasping out his name again. It's exactly what Peter needs and he whimpers, hips twitching toward the delicious friction Tony's hand provides. His ears burn from the wet sounds Tony's hand makes while he's jerking him off, all those embarrassing squelches and not to mention the feeling… Tony's grilling him just right, giving him a warm, wet hole to thrust his cock into… How can something so simple as another person touching him feel so much better than his own hand? His hips continue to move, thrusting into his friend's tight grip. He's so aware of every point of contact between their bodies. "Isn't this weird?" Peter starts to babble, "The porn was one thing but Tony– You're touching my– Isn't this too much?" "Is it? I'm just trying to get you caught up," Tony says as though it's entirely reasonable. Then he chuckles and Peter shivers at the warmth of his breath fanning across his nape, "Are you even friends if you don't try to out-come each other?" It's so ridiculous that it makes Peter huff out a laugh even while his cock is now a leaking mess in Tony's fist. "You're ridiculous–" he gasps. "And you're about to cum," Tony says. Peter can hear the triumph in his voice. It's the last thought he has before Tony's hand squeezes him just right. He's coming before he even realizes it and the outpouring of pleasure has him arching his back, gasping and shuddering in ecstasy. Tony's arms keep him grounded, pressed as he is against the front of his friend's body. "Oh, fuck, yeah," Tony breathes. His head hangs between his shoulders and it's in the perfect position to see how his load comes spilling out of his cockhead, all messy and being milked out by his friend in gentle squeezes. He feels something hot and hard poke against his back. Oh, yeah… Tony still hasn't come. Despite having his orgasm milked out of him, Peter's body is still hot. Actually, it's even worse now because Tony's arms are still around him. Tony's face is still buried against his neck, his breath adding fuel to the heat inside him with every puff of warm air against his sensitive skin. The video has long since ended and Tony doesn't seem to care about putting another one on. It's just them now with no excuse for what they're doing. Peter leans back and he can feel Tony's cock rub against him, so hot and demanding. Tony grumbles when Peter pulls away but he doesn't get the chance to complain. Peter shoves him so he's lying flat on his back, those familiar brown eyes wide with surprise and arousal. "Since we're trying new things," Peter says, breathless and barely containing the urge to straddle Tony's hips. "Mind if I try something?" Tony's hands curl into loose fists before they relax and he gives Peter a look that he's never seen before. Bedroom eyes… Now Peter understands what those words mean. By the curve of his smart mouth and the dark, hungry look in his eyes, he's inviting Peter to do whatever he wants with him. "I'm always up for new things," he says then smirks, "Quite literally this time." The amused look on Tony's face quickly fades when Peter settles between his legs. He leans down, takes a hold of the other boy's cock by the base to steady it. It twitches in his hand and Tony's eyes are fixated on Peter's lips hovering over his tip. Peter loves the way Tony's watching him. "I don't mind if you win this time, Tones," he says, "so don't hold back, okay?" With that said, he closes the distance and takes Tony's cock into his mouth.

[lesbian-kyoru]

lesbian kyoru thoughts

because i’ve gotta start living up to my url sometime. so consider:

kyo. yes, my lesbian fave. and it’s just so easy to read kyo as a lesbian while changing very little about the story. have we considered how inherently queer the “monster inside you trope” is? and especially because kyo’s arc in canon is largely about learning self-acceptance, forgiveness, and self-love through falling in love with tohru, i think the true form arc serves as an excellent allegory for kyo coming to terms with her sexuality, since in both cases it’s all about tohru staying by kyo’s side unconditionally, in spite of things that kyo views as “monstrous” about herself. it’s the monster lesbian story i want please give it to me!!!!!

for this AU, i’d have kyo already out as a lesbian at the beginning of the story, in sort of an open secret way. the sohmas definitely know that kyo is a lesbian, and it’s looked down upon by the sohma clan. the notable exception would be tohru, who doesn’t know that kyo is a lesbian—and same with true form, kyo does not want tohru to find out that she’s a lesbian because she thinks that, if tohru sees this part of her that she has no control over, it will ruin everything and completely disgust tohru

along with just fitting kyo’s overwhelming lesbian vibes, i think this creates a really good dichotomy between yuki, who is the golden boy of the family and deeply closeted, and kyo, very aggressively not in the closet and the black sheep/outcast of the family. wlw mlm hostility at its finest

and now we have tohru. while kyo is already out as a lesbian, tohru is deeply closeted, deeply unaware that she’s closeted, and also just. deeply repressing that she is a lesbian djjdjdjdjdkdj. i really like having this contrast in tohru and kyo’s experiences with coming out and realizing their sexualities because i think it fits their different personalities + upbringings, and also it just would be nice to have more than one Coming Out Narrative in a single piece of media. tohru is that girl in high school who absolutely knows what being gay means, grew up around queer people (kyoko’s girl gang hello…..), her entire friend group is made up of queer people—but she’s still like no i’m just the token straight friend in the group :) until…..lmfao

this mirrors tohru’s canon arc really well because she struggles so much with repression, particularly with repressing what she considers as “ugly” parts of herself, as well as her true feelings for kyo a lot. you can also draw a really neat parallel in the way that tohru accepts kyo’s true form in a very loving, non-judgemental manner, but it’s a lot harder to accept her own “ugly” qualities. i think that makes such a perfect connection to like, she’s obviously not homophobic and accepts that kyo is a lesbian no problem! but then when she falls in love with kyo, it’s a lot harder for tohru to accept that she is also gay because of intense internalized homophobia that she’s directing at herself

also bringing up our favorite gay yuki again, something that would be super fascinating in this is AU would be how yuki still envies how kyo embodies a lot of hyper-masculine, boyish traits, which yuki feels he can’t present in the same way. in this AU, there’s another layer to yuki’s jealousy though because kyo is a girl doing that. so yuki almost resents that kyo can pull that off and innately have those qualities come so easily to her (like being more brash and confident, getting along with groups, being more typically aggressive and “boyish”), when yuki is the one who is male and feels like those traditional masculine behavior expectations should come more easily to him

this would also tie really nicely into how yuki loves tohru like a mother, where it adds another layer to kyo seeing tohru in a way that yuki can't. not only does yuki agonize over how he doesn’t love tohru romantically when heteronormativity makes him feel like he should—now, you also have kyo being able to see tohru “the way a man sees a woman” when kyo is a woman but yuki is a man, adding even more to yuki’s big bad comphet struggle

this just adds so much to yuki and kyo’s already very complicated dynamic, because now you have yuki’s internalized homophobia making him hate himself and directing that at kyo, scapegoating her as causing all of their problems with akito and the sohma clan by being out herself. meanwhile, kyo would struggle even more with eventually acknowledging that yuki isn’t the perfect, straight sohma prince that she views him as, and that hating yuki won’t fix her internalized self-hatred. all of this makes even more prominent that underlying theme of “you have everything i have ever wanted when you don’t deserve it, and i hate you but why can i not be more like you.” again, mlm wlw hostility at its finest

yes, yuki and kyo did hate-makeout once. yes, it did confirm for both of them that they are in fact homosexuals

one last thought: i know a huge facet of canon is that people of the opposite sex hugging triggers the zodiacs’ animal transformations, which is heteronormative lol. but honestly, i would keep the curse being activated by opposite sex hugs even in this AU—because i think it would be super interesting to explore how girls touching each other is a lot more socially accepted as “platonic” even when it is definitely not platonic lmao. but on the flip side of that, you can also then explore the Lesbian Experience of feeling like you’re evil and weird for thinking a girl is pretty and wanting to hold her hand, and therefore never so much as looking at a girl no matter what Ever

it’s already iconic how takaya accidentally Invoked Gay in canon by making kakeru the only friend of yuki’s that he can experience touch and physical affection from because they’re both male.....that’s gay shit.....but there are SO MANY LAYERS when you add lesbian kyoru to the mix. miss deeply closeted tohru is falling hard for kyo and slowly testing the waters with touch—brushing up against kyo, tapping on her shoulder, holding her hand….because they’re both girls and just friends right? it doesn’t mean anything because tohru is straight right? LMFAO meanwhile kyo is convinced that her crush on tohru is absolutely evil, and even though touching her wouldn’t trigger kyo’s transformation, it still terrifies her way more than touching a guy ever will

it just would be such a power move, in a story where opposite sex hugs are a magical taboo, to have your main lesbian couple not dealing with any problems because of the magical taboo that doesn’t apply to them—but because of the much more understated taboo of their queerness, coming from internalized homophobia and fears of “transforming” into something inhuman and monstrous if they ever gave into their true feelings!!!! i just!!!!! ahhhhhh LESBIANS!!!!!!

[probably-enjolras]

do you have any trans!marius headcanons?

why yes, yes i do!

marius always hated the way he was forced to dress and act when he was seen as a girl. he especially hated the way his father would force it on him and refuse to let him even be slightly masculine. his grandfather was a place of refuge until he died, and marius decided to leave his family to go be himself.

once he left, he kinda didn’t know what to do. he went to courfeyrac who let him move in, and they did research together. marius wasn’t really ready to be out yet, he just knew who he was and needed to have the space to explore that, so courfeyrac ends up going to enjolras (known out and proud trans man) and asks him “hypothetical” questions on marius’ behalf

marius still has a lot of internalized transphobia and when he’s brought to the meetings for the first time, some of that comes out and oh boy, the rest of the amis are having none of it. this is my modern trans au version of combeferre shutting marius down with “to be free”. but they don’t really go too hard on him, especially because most of them had come from upper class backgrounds and had to unlearn their own bigotry and ignorance, and he’s really trying to figure himself out, not cause harm to people

marius has a slight sexuality crisis along with his gender identity. before cosette, he never was interested in women, and when he was a “girl” he was “straight” because he only liked men, but now that he’s come to term with the fact that he’s a man, does that make him gay? but gay doesn’t seem to fit him properly even though by definition it would be what he is. once he meets cosette and experiments with the label bisexual, he feels a lot better. (BI MARIUS SUPREMACY) still some peak marius pontmercy anguish tho, he’s nothing if not dramatic.

marius is afraid of taking his t shot so cosette does it for him. he’s a brave guy, but only in the spur of the moment. a scheduled time to inject himself with a needle is not spontaneous. he can’t look, and even after years of being on t, cosette still has to give him a kiss and tell him he did good afterwards.

marius isn’t as strict with his pronouns as you might think. he’s kinda ok with everything as long as it’s not she/her. while he likes he/him the most, he wouldn’t correct someone who used they/them or a neopronoun. it doesn’t cause him dysphoria or euphoria, it’s just kinda nothing. this confuses enjolras to no end, but enjolras knows that everyone has a different experience with gender and isn’t gonna fight marius on this.

speaking of, marius and enjolras have more in common than people think. they’re both from upper class families who had to sever ties with them when they wanted to be themselves and ended up friends with courfeyrac who introduced them to more accepting people and they both believe in the spirit of the revolution. they just express themselves so differently and their political views are different enough that it can cause arguments and they have different sexual and romantic orientations. pointing this out to enjolras is a sure fire way to get a pointed bitch face.