#yeah I'm thinking about them shut up

[constellationcrowned]

((Listen, the fact that pressing foreheads together and nose nuzzles are a strong sign of affection from Kariom (and a common thing between Kari/Trav) fills my heart with the will to live.))

[mbirnsings-71]

Madi actually not procrastinate on stuff challenge- see I had plans today, but then those got cancelled and like in any good neurodivergent fashion I'm like "Well shit what do I do now?" and well! That answer is this silly meme for my Wedding planner AU. Yes Jimmy and Grian are parasites on Joel's Netflix account- No he's not gonna kick them off. That's not what Family is about.

I swear one of these days I need to like do proper ref sheets for people in my AU just DFKVNFKBN GOD OKAY- I'll stop rambling but just know I have a lot of thoughts in my brain you guys are gonna get fed next year trust-

Close ups and the post that spurred this on are down below after the keep reading! just for efficiency and all that jazz!

Close ups:

The Post that inspired this:

[bixels]

What did/do you like about Pharah?

Uh, gameplay-wise, I really love characters in shooters who rely on three-dimensional movement techs. Chaining together hover and jump to stay in the air for as long as possible and keep momentum is so satisfying, and picking enemies off from the sky made me feel like a bird of prey. I was a good Pharah main.

Story-wise, there unfortunately isn't much to canonically go off because Pharah is so underutilized and neglected. Her personality's pretty boilerplate "heroic hero" (she's literally inspired by Captain America).

But it's the crumbs/bits and pieces that I really latched onto. Pharah's a confirmed lesbian; her short story with Baptiste implies she harbors a crush on Mercy (fucking thank you.). She's biracial Egyptian/First Nations. She has major mommy issues, having grown up both admiring and resenting Ana. She's the bridge between Old Overwatch, inspired by the idealized heroes who surrounded her childhood, and New Overwatch. She's one of the only inter-generational characters in the cast; someone whose experiences span the gap, which is why I seriously believe Pharah would make a great main character.

There isn't much to go off of, though; she's a very uncomplicated character (she's a soldier for a private military corporation, lol.). But that just means she's a blank slate character, so I've seen fanfic writers run wild and create some really interesting takes on her. My favorite interpretation of her's a dense, herbo gym-bro type (a lot of her liens are about work outs, exercising, and playing sports) who's easily excitable under her seemingly self-serious, armored visage. We see how she tends to gloat and hype herself up when she's on a streak too, so Pharah definitely has a competitive and boastful side under her more professional and militant performance.

Now Mercy? Mercy is a real complex character.

[m1ssunderstanding]

People have probably already seen this because apparently it's been on YouTube for a week but I hadn't so here you go if you want! Spoilers (I guess) in the tags so for people that don't want to watch this sneak peak and ruin their movie experience, don't read my tags :)

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

I think I've gotten to the point where I'm just gonna not interact with or even block blogs that post v/3 fan art while aggressively and needlessly harping on it in the caption

[apostaterevolutionary]

So I touched on this a little in my veilguard review, but this is one of the topics I wanted to talk about separately. And it’s that I think I've figured out what really makes an rpg great vs just not bad for me. This is really a preference thing, cause I know there's people who are the exact opposite on this. But for me, it's about the amount of personal involvement the player character has

Like why are you, as the main character, here? Why do we care about the plot that's unfolding? Is it just cause 'well, world needs saving and I'm here', that's not very interesting to me. It's too replaceable - any sufficiently valiant person could do this (even in a chosen one narrative, this is typically true). 'Wrong place, wrong time' can be fun if done right, but it's still eh to me. I like it best when the player character has some tie to the overarching plot. I want it to be personal because that opens up so many more interesting emotions

Dragon age has examples of both of these. Origins, despite the Warden canonically being replaceable, as we know all the origins happened, it's just only one actually survived, does have this personal element imo because it has Ostagar. Different Wardens might see this differently, of course, but you arrive after just barely being saved by Duncan. Everything seems fine until the big moment and then everything goes wrong - you're betrayed, from your pov, Duncan is killed, and you wouldn't survive this third near-death experience in a row were it not for Flemeth's interference. This, in the moment, feels pretty damn personal. No matter who your warden is, Loghain acts as a personal antagonist right up until right before the end, whereas while the blight situation is mostly a 'wrong place, wrong time' situation, that personal element plus the little moments you get that reference the origin events really make it work for me. It could have more, but it has just enough to make it really good imo

Of course, DA2 is so strong on the personal motive front that arguably the personal story is actually the overarching plot and it's just occasionally a wider-impact event creeps into it lmao but that's why it's my favourite game. Inquisition, on the other hand, while yes, you have the mark and are the only one who can close the breaches, that is the only tie you have to events. The inquisitor has no motive beyond 'well, world needs saving'. If the anchor had somehow been transferable, Cassandra quite frankly would've made a more compelling protagonist because of her devotion to the Divine. She had a reason to be there beyond just 'gotta save the world'. The inquisitor doesn't, they’re really just there because they have to be (and that’s also why I think their appearance in veilguard is pretty weak imo, but people with different views of their inquisitor will disagree there)

And I'm not comparing, rather just using an example, but bg3 I think has both options. For me, durge is much more interesting than tav cause, once again, tav is just some guy (gender neutral) who happened to stumble by at the wrong time and oops, brain worm. Even the emperor would've happily discarded them for another if it served his purpose. They're just there because they're convenient. That's not as fun to me as durge, who has an actual personal reason to be involved in this, even if they don't know it at first. It starts out as the same, generic motivation of 'get rid of the brain worm, try to save world if we can' (assuming a relatively "good" playthrough lmao, but for comparison's sake) but it later becomes something that is personal. You have a VERY direct involvement in the plot and it really adds something to it for me. That's the kind of flavour I seek 🤌 🤌 🤌

And veilguard is definitely more on the inquisition side where literally any heroic person could fill in for the protagonist (and tbf, I liked it more than inquisition), when I think what really would’ve brought it over the top for me would’ve been some act 2 Personalized Horror event to happen. Easiest option would be something related to the faction, like maybe one of the recurring NPCs ends up dying in some really hardcore way. It wouldn’t be that hard to implement imo because it could be roughly the same quest, just with tweaks to fit the chosen faction. Giving Rook a personal motivation would’ve really spice things up and give the factions more depth too. If you play as a warden, I think weisshaupt may have that affect (which is why my second run will be a warden lmao), but it would be nice to have something really devastating for the character regardless of faction

(And to be perfectly honest, if we were going to lose a companion anyway, having that happen in the middle of the game might have actually been spicier and really cemented Rook’s conviction while still having the regret prison concept work imo. It would mean missing out on a companion arc, but it’s another option at least)

This would also give an opportunity to really boost the companion relationships. Like the Bad Thing happens and then you get maybe a little scene with the current love interest, or even just some dialogue with each of the companions. Something with them being the ones to comfort Rook for a change. Cause all that remains is devastating, and the bg3 act 2 redemptive durge scene is wonderful, but it’s also the aftermath that’s really tasty. And having some sort of Personalized Horror for Rook would’ve given us an opportunity to have that moment of them being vulnerable, and the companions stepping up to help them. That really would’ve made the team feel good and cemented, like they really were a strong team

And again, I know this is a personal preference thing. I have a friend who struggles whenever a game has any kind of established background at all and thinks that bg3’s tav is the absolute perfect kind of rpg protagonist and I’m sure there’s plenty of people who agree and prefer the fully blank slate. Some people do prefer to just headcanon all of this rather than have it directly in the game. And that’s fine. But for me, that personal involvement and motive is the real special sauce for rpgs and I think that’s why DA2 specifically is the one that made me insane lmao. And I think if veilguard had’ve had that bit of personalized angst, I would’ve put it an entire bracket higher than I did. It would’ve fit really well imo and idk if it was something bioware ever planned for the game, but I, for one, really would’ve loved it

[necrotic-nephilim]

Sorry if this might be a rude question but why don’t you just make a seperate account for your nsfw fics?

not rude, it's a valid question! tbh it's a combination of a couple reasons.

i started posting anonymous dead dove batcest fics long before i had the balls to make a tumblr. at first i was content to just leave them unassociated with each other because i didn't really care about them being tied to me. i made this blog to actually show solidarity to my partner who wanted to make a sideblog for Sandman comic stuff so we could cheerlead each other and be brave together, since i've wanted to make a batcest sideblog but i've been nervous about actually having to get it going. (mal ik you're reading this go be brave and actually make your blog so i can cheerlead you damnit-) only did it dawn on me then that i should probably mention the fics i've written on the blog after like, three of them were posted anonymously. and it would've annoyed me to have half of them anonymous and half of them not, because notifications for them would've gone in different places. i could go back and take my fics off anon if i wanted to, but i can't switch the account they're on without taking them down entirely and that'd fuck over people who have them bookmarked already.

which, ties into my second reason, if i made an entire second ao3 account it'd be harder for me to see notifications, reply to stuff, and post things for both accounts because i'd have to constantly switch. and honestly i'd be terrified of accidentally posting on the wrong one on a brain fog day. posting fics is always the most tedious part of writing them for me lol. it's easier for me to stay logged into one account and have all of my stuff in one place for me and just use the anonymous collection when i feel like it. if ao3 pseuds worked like tumblr blogs, where you can't see all my side blogs but i can, i would've used pseuds, but since you can see all pseuds on an ao3, i felt it was a moot point.

and the last reason is i just feel more comfortable being anonymous on ao3 because of the rise in anti culture. on tumblr it's very easy for me to just filter that out and find the people i want to follow and block the people i don't. i don't mind getting hate, on tumblr or on ao3. but i think, for whatever reason you want to blame it on, there's been a massive boom of antis on ao3 who are very entitled about how they read on ao3. i tag extensively, but i just feel safer from getting targeted attacks if everything i write on ao3 isn't attached to one profile. if people like a fic i wrote, want to find more i always link my tumblr in the notes, but if an anti wants to get huffy with me, they can't easily track down my other things. they definitely could if they wanted to, but being anonymous on ao3 just makes me feel more secluded, in a weird way. it's like saying "if you want you can come find me but on here i'm just a weird faceless guy throwing stuff in the void". i've used ao3's anon feature a lot, actually, i used to be a hydra trash party dumpster kid back when that was in it's prime.

i also used to be vaguely popular on a different tumblr blog and my main ao3 and while i think it'd definitely be cool if i got a decent chunk of followers on this blog too, i don't really miss having fanfiction do so well i got targetted hate on all of my fics from the same people, i had my fics stolen, etc. it was really exhausting for me. i have 120+ works on ao3, not counting what's anonymous, and that level of exposure tires me, even when i use my main ao3 to post things that aren't trashy. it's just a weird feeling knowing so many people are subscribed to you on ao3 and what if you post something they won't like because you jumped fandoms again, or you're posting something niche, or you don't think it fills enough fandom tropes to be well-liked. i used to obsessively think like that, and it made me not write the things i wanted to because i cared about numbers. and i don't want to slide back into that hole. writing on anonymous is mostly to remind myself i wrote this for me, and if other people like it, they can come find me, but i don't have to perform like that anymore. if i get a really weird fucked up idea, i can write the really weird fucked up idea. at the end of the day, just makes me more comfortable! but i get it's a super confusing set up from an outsider perspective so, i really don't mind the question, thank you for asking!!

[brionysea]

when max is depressed we know something's wrong because lucas says with his words that he knows something's wrong but when mike is depressed we don't think anything of it because will's right next to him rolling his eyes about how stupid straight people are

[rotisseries]

i do think. just in general that it's rude to leave comments on artwork of an au saying something like "oh lol this doesn't actually fit right bc of this detail" I do think that's rude. like maybe don't fucking do that. it makes you look like a dick

[ratbastarddotfuck]

am I wrong? genuinely, I'm asking. would it not come off extremely condescending?

[shirogane-oushirou]

no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.

i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.

[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!

also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]

[hauntingofhouses]

i think fandoms can be soooo ridiculous a lot of the time (see: all the nonsensical fan wars, discourse, etc) but i cannot understate how much i actually love fandoms.

like yeah it may be super nerdy and even cringe and outsiders look at it like "why tf do you care about these fictional characters so much?"

but 1) my field is literally..... literary studies..... in which all i do is study fiction and analyse it like an insane person, and 2) even if that WASN'T my field, thinking about the stories we consume is important even for any person to do, because thinking about stories exercises our brain to think critically!! why do you think our ancestors used stories as a medium to share knowledge, to propagate moral values and lessons? stories—telling them, thinking about what they're saying, and caring about the characters within them—are all inherent to the human experience!!!

so that brings me to fandom. because we are literally just making these little communities with each other based on our shared love for a particular story, and for a particular character or theme within them that resonated with us, or whatever. we're all here because we loved a thing so much that we built connections from it!!!

like yeah my irl friends laugh at me when i tell them i write fanfic, cuz ha ha what a nerd what a loser etc, but dude. i made genuine real friendships from fandom alone. from just obsessing over two characters we thought were cute together, we've gone to sending each other gifts and postcards and having voice calls and confiding in each other and sharing parts of us and our personal lives and our cultures (cuz we're all from different countries) with each other! like now i don't even share a fandom with most of my old fandom friends anymore but we still stick by each other and that's amazing???

also like, i cannot emphasise enough how amazing and encouraging it is to share your craft (art/writing/etc) with others in fandom. because for example if i make my own personal art or write my own original work, i'd have no one to share it to, no one interested to see it, and thus no one will be there to provide feedback or encouragement.

but if i post a piece of fan art or fanfic, people actually do see the work i post and care about the craft and the content it's depicting and even share their thoughts on it and that ??? is so motivating and lovely ??? because even though i make art for myself, art is still meant to be shared and seen at the end of the day—even if only with one person. so to be given the means of sharing our art in such a way, to have such a community that fosters so much creativity, it's amazing. i don't really get that anywhere else.

and especially to have this in like, a casual setting, you know, where you can just be yourself and do things according to your own time and energy without the pretenses of professionalism and a perfectly curated resume or portfolio, and all the confines of a rigid work schedule, which would all make the process of creation less fun and less genuine, and instead just more taxing and chore-like.

because fandom is essentially meant to be about doing what's fun for you! it's about sharing your creations and enjoying what others share with you. you make friends and you go ham with it.

and also it's why it's more frustrating when people take things too seriously and legitimately get upset over assumptions of other people's beliefs and hold the most minor grievances that could only be felt if you're like, chronically online.

but on that note, there are definitely still honest-to-god bad people in fandom spaces too (see: racists, TERFS, homophobes, groomers, harassers, etc). but that's the case with all communities, because bad people are always going to exist, and thus statistically speaking, the bigger a group or community is, higher chances are there's gonna be some awful people in there. but honestly that is its own can of worms and also that's not what this post is about, but i felt it necessary to address because i don't want to paint fandom as like, the best thing ever in the world, because fandom spaces are incredibly flawed, as everything is.

but i've always been one to appreciate things despite its flaws. and though this may be very personal to me, when i love things so much, i am still willing to stick around and try to change the culture around it in the ways that i can (like promoting internet safety measures, creating safe spaces for thoughtful and polite discussion, raising awareness on harmful stereotypes and fandom depictions or opinions, etc).

so regardless of the bullshit that online fandom spaces tend to perpetuate, i do very much still love the way that fandom allows me to connect with folks over something as silly as our little blorbos, and from there end up making life-long friends, or at the very least new acquaintances. insert reinforcement of my thesis statement about stories fostering human connection here. the end. send post.

[thr4shit]

I LOVE THIS FEELING AND TORMENTING MY MOOTS WITH OUR GOD AWFUL MENTAL HEALTH! IT SO DOESN'T MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A PEICE OF SHIT WHO NEEDS TO DELETE EVERYTHING OFF THEIR ACCOUNT AND SHUT UP FOR FUCKING EVER. /sarc

[eddis-not-eeddis]

Dealing with newcomer's embarrassment gets easier if you are surrounded by people you have no respect for.

[ourceliumnetwork]

Well, once again running into trauma my parents gave me (unfortunately it's most of it) because the Cat That Uncontrollably Eats Plants got in my room to eat the single plant that is in there and got a good chunk of leaf. now he's in Observation and I'm dealing with the actual adrenaline issues instead of the adrenaline dumps i was getting (apparently. learned about what those are today and that explains A LOT ACTUALLY.)

Turns out getting run over by the dog who is at minimum half your size when you're like 6 or 7 and then getting told it's your fault she got out and ran off when there was nothing you could have done to stop her even if you'd known she was going to do that, and being yelled at and told to chase her down on your own is a lot for a small child. The fact that I was on dog catcher duty even when it wasn't "my fault" they got out over the years ever since probably also didn't help.

(quotes on "my fault" to emphasize i'm trying to reframe this at least somewhat in my head as of Right The Fuck Now because this is unhealthy. this is an unhealthy way to live and it will not help any cats in times of crises if my first reaction is to immediately punish myself instead of getting help and also i'm allowed to get help even if I do mess up and it is my fault but this time it super isn't and neither were any of the other times because i wasn't negligent or unobservant i was a child and also the dogs were untrained and also Solaire the cat is a menace who will find plants you didn't even know you had to eat)

[calamitaswrath]

While I'm still riding the Xenoblade X hyperfixation, let me just use it to talk gender identity some more.

Between deciding on my current Cross design back during last December and where I am now (i.e. feeling that I'm probably a Woman But A Bit To The Side), I initially did have the plan of just switch between the male design and the female one. But even though I kept those two looking as close to each other as possible, there was always something that I didn't quite like about the male one on a very basic level, and something that I just couldn't put my finger on, let alone fix. Somewhere down the line, I decided to also make myself smaller builds for both, as an alternative to switch to. So, "Young Boy" instead of "Boy", and "Girl" instead of "Woman". For the female Cross, that worked out well enough, and I still have the design I came up with for that saved in-game, even if I have taken no screenshots. But with the male Cross? For the life of me, I could not put together a design that I even remotely liked. Absolutely nothing felt right, even though on principle, I guess I preferred the younger looking face over my actual "main" male Cross (which even then, I almost never used). In the end, I just gave up that whole design process entirely. I guess that only really serves to show that I'm really not off in my current self-perception. . .