#but max gets lucas who tries so hard to understand without being told

[brionysea]

when max is depressed we know something's wrong because lucas says with his words that he knows something's wrong but when mike is depressed we don't think anything of it because will's right next to him rolling his eyes about how stupid straight people are

[klausinamarink]

Thinking of an AU where after Starcourt and Billy’s death, it’s the Mayfields who leave Hawkins for California while the Byers stay. With her family fractured, Susan Mayfield decides to take the opportunity to return back home if not slightly pushed by the men in suits who gave her and Max special forms to sign. They won’t go back to their old residence in San Deigo but Lenora should be a better start.

But Lenora turns out to be worse for Max. She’s too angry and scared to make any new friends - friends who wouldn’t understand the horrors of the Upside Down with its cat-eating demodogs and giant fleshy Mind Flayer. The closest person she might consider a friend is one of the stoner dudes at Surfer Boy’s Pizza who always gives her free slices of pineapple pizza whenever she comes in.

Usually her behaviour works in pushing her peers, but instead it attracts the annoying popular girl Angela’s attention and makes Max her favourite “friend”. Their fights are often verbal but sometimes Angela’s words strike better than Max’s. She doesn’t tell her mom, who’s been working long hard hours at her new job, or her friends back at Hawkins whenever she writes back to their letters. Even when calls with Lucas bring her close to tears, she keeps her voice even and lies through her teeth about how she loves her new home and classmates.

This predictably comes to a head when Lucas and El tag together to visit Max for the spring break. El quickly realizes Max’s lies and confronts her at the skating rink, telling her that if Lucas finds out, he’ll be devastated too. Max tries to brush this off, pretending to have a normal, Angela-less day with her boyfriend and best friend.

Well, we all know what happens at the rink.

This time, El (albeit more accidentally) trips Angela and her goons before they do anything worse. This time, Max had enough of Angela’s bullshit and beats her face with her skate, yelling at her that if she dares to pick on her again, she’s fucking dead. This time, Lucas is horrified by what just happened and heartbroken that Max’s been having a difficult time without telling him.

They don’t really have the time to talk about it before the cops come the next morning to arrest Max for assault. But El steps forward and, to protect Max, says she’s the one who did it, much to Max and Lucas’ chagrin. So El gets taken to jail, Max and Lucas get Susan to help El bail out, survive a sudden shootout in the house, they get Argyle, and then the Nevada road trip takes off from there.

Throughout this, Susan gets told about the Upside Down and the truth of Billy’s death. She also starts having a more heart to heart with Max, apologizing about being so distant and seeing herself as the start of this mess they’re in. But Max tells her not to blame herself and that Susan’s only been doing what’s the best for both of them. Max also apologizes to Lucas for lying and sweet Lucas forgives her, but says that he’s always still here so Max shouldn’t have hid away from him. There’s a lot more talks on the road, some ending with tearful smiles and a new hope for the future.

Meanwhile in Hawkins, Vecna might’ve missed Max as a potential victim but he finds someone better…

[thestrangestthing89]

Season 1. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Season 2. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Season 3. Part 1 Part 2

Mike Character Analysis: Season 3 Part 3:

So now that we understand internalized homophobia a little better let's get into this inappropriate make-out sesh with Mike and El. Because if we understand that Mike internally realizes he's gay and is repressing his feelings (just like mom and dad told him to in season 2) because he's confused and afraid, his behavior here makes a lot of sense. His body language tells us that he is uncomfortable. El puts her hand on his face - he moves it off of him. El tries to lean in - he gently shoves her away. El wants to kiss - he wants to sing. And the thing that drives it all home for me is his behavior toward Hopper. A person who he's previously gotten along with fine. But now Hopper was there for Mike's melt down at the end of season 2 and knows some things. I wrote more about the Hopper/Mike dynamic here.

So Mike is hostile towards him, but the Hopper/Mike interactions are the only time we see a return of the quick-to-lash out Mike was saw in season 2. He doesn't repress his emotions around Hopper. Because Hopper showed him he doesn't have to -he can get mad and yell at him and Hopper is still going to be there. But Mike is also deliberately picking a fight here and we know this through Hoppers complaining about it Joyce. This is a nightly ritual with them. Mike breaks Hoppers rules and Hopper kicks Mike out of the house. Once again this is not simply Mike acting like a teen. Because if a teenager wanted to stay at his girlfriends house to make out with her, would he go out of his way to piss off her father so that he gets kicked out? Of course not. He would be following all the rules and possibly sucking up so he can stay even if he was annoyed by it.

But Mike pisses him off and gets kicked out and as he's biking to the movies El is on the walkie telling him she misses him already. And Mike briefly makes this disgusted and confused face. Earlier I mentioned that Mike and El exhibit signs of codependency and that all of their making-out is a symptom of that. Codependency is complex and has a number of characteristics present in this relationship but I'm just going to say that Mike and El constantly cancelling plans with their friends is not healthy. They don't set good boundaries with each other and spend every second of the day together. Making-out. All day. In the cabin without an adult. And if Mike's doing this then he can't be gay right? He's trying very hard to convince himself (and the audience) of this. So Mike gets to the movies late and Lucas, Max, and Will are annoyed. Lucas calls him out for spending too much time with El and Mike gets defensive. He's just spending time with his girlfriend. But Lucas is also spending time with his girlfriend and his friends at the same time. Lucas and Max are here as a point of comparison for what a healthy romantic relationship is supposed to look like for this age group. And it's basically the same thing they did as friends. Hang out. They don't even kiss this season. Because they just finished middle school. Mike is immediately self-conscious about this comparison. He's trying very hard to be normal by being in a relationship with El and if people think he's not normal then he's wrong again about how he's supposed to be behaving.

We have a very interesting scene here with Mike and Will in the movie theater. The two are sitting next to each other and Mike immediately clocks that Will isn't ok. Now Will barely moved - he went to touch the back of his neck because Mind Flayer - and Mike notices and asks if he's ok. They both are blushing and staring at each other intensely for a lot longer than necessary. It's a charged moment. Will says he's fine and Mike doesn't believe him (Will doesn't lie and the rare occasion when he does Mike notices - remember this for next season). But Mike doesn't push and lets it go. So what the hell is with all the blushing and staring? Because it almost seems like they are trying to indicate that something happened here with these two off screen. It's clear the audience isn't being given context for something.

Later, Hopper tells Mike to stop coming to the house and Mike chooses to lie to El about (which is not what Hopper asked him to do for the record) and El immediately registers that he's lying. So Mike spends the day passively doing what Lucas tells him to do in order to fix it. It's important to note here that Lucas's advice - get her a gift - is wrong. All Mike had to do was apologize to her. But he spends his day looking at things he can't afford at the mall. Mike could have easily found her a gift he could afford if that was what he wanted to do (and he does this in season 4 with the flowers. An obvious and free gift he could have easily given El here). But Mike is just doing what Lucas tells him to do and he's not thinking for himself. Because he doesn't know how to act in this situation with her. Which stands out, because Mike is about to get into the same situation with Will and handles it correctly. Mike's avoiding doing the thing he's supposed to do - talking to El. It's a thing they don't do. He knows that he should. He does it with Will. But he's trying to be normal and Lucas knows how to be normal so he is listening to him and second guessing himself, because his real self (with Will) is the problem that needed fixing. Mike is complex. El dumps his ass and this scene is funny. It's meant to be lighthearted. Cold as Ice is playing and the sun is shining and Will is laughing in the background. Back in the basement, Mike is complaining - about Hopper. Not the breakup. He doesn't understand how he got into this situation because he did what he was told (he didn't exactly but Mike doesn't take responsibility for anything when it comes to El). Mike is not complaining about El breaking up with him or indicating that he wants to get back together with her. He is complaining because to him, he did everything right and it still backfired. Will wants to play D&D and Lucas and Mike are ignoring him. They get mean here. They make fun of Will and Will gets upset and leaves. This is the only time we see Mike being unaware of Will's feelings and it's because he is trying to be Lucas. He is mimicking Lucas through this whole scene (and through most of season 2). But the second Mike realizes he actually hurt Wills feelings he is done pretending. He practically climbs over Lucas to get to Will. Now Mike and Will are fighting and it's in stark contrast to the fight with El. It's dark and pouring rain and they are both upset. Please explain to me when, in the history of movies, there has been a fight in the rain that was not intended to be romantic? "It's not my fault you don't like girls". Yes, Mike is projecting here but it's also important to take the context of the fight into consideration. Lucas and Mike think having a girlfriend makes them adults. They think playing games like Will makes them childish so, Mike at least, pretends not to like D&D. And we know he's pretending because he's playing in season 4 and he's happy. But this whole fight is about how Mike isn't acting like himself. He doesn't hang out with his friends anymore and he's focused on El too much. He's right and Mike knows this (he acknowledges as much next season). So when Mike says "it's not my fault you don't like girls" there is a "yet" implied. Mike never expresses himself well when he is defensive and emotional. He's calling Will a child. Which is especially ridiculous because Mike and Lucas are so immature this season it's actually annoying and it's Will who is showing emotional intelligence. Mike then says "Did you think we weren't going to get girlfriend and we'd just play games in the basement all day?" Again, he thinks playing games in the basement and not having a girlfriend is childish.

Part 4

[assignedpeanutallergyatbirth]

I’m not entirely sure how to articulate this thought, so bear with my internet. I would like to discuss two scenes in Stranger Things.

The first is S2 E1 starting 30:50, it’s a Wheeler dinner scene and Mike is told that he needs to put together two boxes worth of things to sell at the yard sale.

When he protests it goes like this:

Mike: “I’m fine with you giving away a couple, but the other ones just have way too much emotional value”

Karen: “Emotional value?”

Ted: “They’re hunks of plastic Michael.”

As the scene goes on, we find out that they’ve already taken away his Atari, and that the reason the Wheeler parents are doing all of this is because Mike has been acting out. This scene is particularly interesting because it falls between Lucas and Dusting finding out who Max is (plot relevant) and Nancy and Steve having dinner with Barb’s parents (plot relevant), but it doesn’t appear to have any plot relevance itself. Mike’s behavior isn’t mentioned again, and the only purpose this scene seems to serve is to show that Mike is struggling without El. Or to show that the Wheeler parents don’t understand him and do not try to.

The second scene, and the one that stands in sharp contrast in my mind, is in season 4. In S4 E9 1:52:19, right before the California crew shows up at the Wheeler house, Karen brings out a box of Nancy’s old things that she found in the attic. They are packing boxes to bring to the shelter at the school. Nancy finds her childhood stuffed animal Mr. Rabbit in one of these boxes, and Karen says “It’s okay if you want to save him, you know?” She acknowledges that this toy has emotional value to Nancy, while she scoffed at the concept that Mike’s possessions might be important to him.

Obviously the context of these two scenes is very different. Mike is being punished, while Nancy is donating voluntarily. In season 4, Hawkins has just experienced a massive earthquake and I’m sure Karen is very worried. She even expresses more worry towards Mike than we have ever seen when he arrives. But there is no reason why she should not have been this sympathetic in season 2. By that point Mike had already been through some shit, and even if she did not know the full extent, she knew that Will was presumed dead and was visited by the government officials who said that he was in great danger. But in season 2, she brushes it off as “We know you’ve had a hard year, Michael, but we’ve been patient.” She acknowledges his struggles and immediately dismissed them.

And I know that comparing scenes like this gets a little iffy, and that the Duffer brothers haven’t watched season 2 in a while — hence Will’s birthday. But the one thing that stays consistent is character writing (Mike’s character is consistently written, and I will probably have to word vomit a post about it at some point). So while I doubt that these two scenes are supposed to stand in contrast, the family dynamics that they highlight do stand out, and I feel that comparing them in this way is fair game.

Which gets me to the point of my argument. So often while discussing the Wheeler parents, we focus on the differences between Ted and Karen. But they both kind of suck. More significant, I would argue, is the difference in how the parents treat Mike and Nancy. Karen especially connects with Nancy more often than she does Mike. Any heart to heart conversations that we see her have are with Nancy. Her character building is done through connecting with Nancy, most especially the scenes after Nancy is fired from the newspaper. With Mike, the only support he seems to get from his mom comes in the form of 3 hugs: after they find “Will’s” body, after the Byers’s move, and after he comes back from California. If you read the novelization Lucas on the Line, Karen tries to help Mike in his (apparent and obvious) depression by inviting Lucas and Dustin over. She plans this whole themed sleepover, but then calls her son foul to Lucas, in front of Mike. She disregards anything that is important to Mike, yet still expects him to come to her with important things. However with Nancy, she makes more of an effort. She reaches out to Nancy first, after Nancy was fired from the newspaper. Karen has to knock on Nancy’s closed door in order to have this conversation. This is a decent amount of effort put in. Karen makes the first move, whereas with Mike, she relies on him to reach out, even going so far as to stop Ted from talking to him after “Will’s body is found because “He’ll come to us when he’s ready.”

And please note: I have nothing against Nancy. I love Nancy as a character. I just think that the way the Wheeler parents, especially Karen, treat Nancy and Mike is very different and worth noting.

[truessences]

Why Mike Wheeler IS the Heart (Part 1)

I decided to split this into two parts because it was getting long, in this one I'll explain my thoughts on the other party members and in the next part show I will show why I think Mike is.

Well... I had this whole thing almost done but then I accidentally deleted it when I thought I clicked on the icon to edit. So, hopefully this will be a better and more coherent post now that I have to do it over. 

But in this essay I will explain why I think Mike Wheeler is the heart of the party. My mission isn't to convince those of you who don't agree but to explain why it makes perfect sense to me. If you don't agree, you're just not gonna agree. I'm not going to go back and forth with anyone that I don't want to and if you're rude, I'll block you. :D

I do agree that Will's perspective of Mike will color things he may say or feel but I don't think he's wrong.

Part Two Here

When I hear someone say "the heart of the group", what I think that means is someone who is depended on, someone who holds the group together, who may be the leader, who will do whatever they can to protect those they love. They are the "caretaker", someone who may go out of their way to make others feel better or to help. They aren't perfect and if anything, they may take their mistakes or things they couldn't succeed in doing the hardest. They are the ones that the others will look to in hard times or for answers and/or support. Maybe they make the final decisions and/or plans.

I will explain each member of the party quickly, as to why they’re not the heart (overall) and what their roles are. Now, because people change and evolve, some will overlap but it’s not a “definitive… you are the heart”, but a “you’ve been heart at this time” lol. 

Max Mayfield (Zoomer)- Unlike the others, Max’s D&D position as “Zoomer” isn’t something that actually exists within the game, but something she made up, which actually makes sense for her because while Dustin and Lucas tried to invite her into the party, she basically did insert herself into the group, going as far as to give herself a title to Mike (the leader). Even after he told her their party was full lol. I think that fits Max. She’s also too new to be the heart of the party, not to mention, she doesn’t understand the others the way she thinks she does. Max isn’t my favorite but I do like her, she grew on me a lot as I’ve rewatched the show. Max cares about her loved ones, I don’t doubt that, but she’s a bit too consistently callous to be the heart of the party. This isn’t a dig at her but a fair assessment. Even though I loved her friendship with Eleven in S3, she was really misguided in how she was handling the situation with Mike and Eleven.

Lucas (Ranger)- I think Lucas has a lot of heart and does a lot of things, particularly in the 4th season that shows that he has a lot of heart however, I don’t think that’s his role. Compared to the others, Lucas has a major tendency to be level headed, skeptical, pragmatic and realistic. They’re basically the same thing but you know what I mean lol. This is shown from him in season one when he is rightfully suspicious of Eleven and ultimately doesn’t want anything to do with her. He softens later in the season because he realizes that she was trying to protect them and that she wasn’t lying about the bad men. But his feelings were valid, he wanted to protect his friends and find WIll, that was important to him, plus the situation is weird. It makes sense lol. We see him being skeptical the entirety of season 1 and this is set up in the first scene with our party, where he’s telling Dustin “It’s not the demogorgon!” and he does the same thing later “It’s not the thessalhydra”. But we also see that he’s brave, because he tells Will to fireball the monster, without hesitation. He kept his friend group grounded and took finding Will extremely seriously (not that the others didn’t but he was tunnel vision). He had a tendency to be defensive and reactionary. But we know he’s sweet and we see a lot more of this side in later seasons. However, Lucas’s role, I think, gets significantly reduced in season 2, he really spends a lot of the time trying to get close to Max to tell her what’s going on. He’s way more open-minded, which is a good thing, but sometimes it’s stupid because where’s the self preservation Lucas! (I’m talking about him going to Max’s house with the chance of Billy answering the door, but maybe he didn’t realize this was a real problem). We also see him be the only one who listens and gives advice to Mike in season 3 when it comes to the relationship problems between him and Eleven. We saw a mature side of Lucas, even being strong enough to admit his own mistakes, even if it��s in a joking manner. Compared to the others, he might have a tendency to be a bit close minded, which prevents him from being the heart but he HAS extreme heart. This is particularly shown in season 4, where I think Lucas really shines, the way that he’s supporting Max, even when in the beginning he was dealing with his own crisis of identity. This is probably the most character growth we’ve seen from him. However, I’ve always viewed Lucas as the strength of the party. In season 1, he was ready with his wrist rocket against the demogorgon. He did the same in season 2. Since his role is a ranger, they can often rely on bows and arrows, which is similar to Lucas’s long range weapon, same in season 3 when he uses the fireworks to throw at the Mind Flayer. But Mike was able to lean on him in S3 when no one else did that. He was there for Max in S4. Lucas is the strength. 

Will (Cleric)- So I know people like to say that Will is the heart of the party because seasons 1 and 2 centered around him but that would make him the catalyst, not the heart. I actually think Will is the least empathetic of the party. He is the reason why the boys got involved with everything, but we didn’t get to know him a ton in S1 and in S2, he was struggling the entire time. People don’t lean on Will, we don’t see him actually being there for someone else until S4. To me, “the heart of the group” is a person who other people lean on and that hasn’t been Will. I feel like people only say that because of him being a catalyst and because he’s an emotional character. I feel like he really gets the chance to be a character in S3, because he’s not missing and he’s not being possessed/hunted. But now it’s like he’s missed everything. All of his besties have girlfriends and have found other interests (not that they’re ignoring him completely, they clearly have hung out, gone to the mall and the movies often) and he’s probably feeling left behind, which is fair. His feelings are valid. A cleric is a magic user, a healer and can be a support character in the party. Something I found interesting, is that once a player chooses to be a cleric, that role can be pushed into adventure because of something else, “because their God demands it”, it may not be something they choose, which I think fits Will. He gets taken to the Upside Down, (though I’m not sure how I feel about this whole ‘he was chosen and not random’ they seem to be inching towards) against his will and then in S2, he’s the host for the Mind Flayer, against his will again. He’s been very passive. I think there are some instances with his kindness that would make a person think “Oh Will’s the heart”, but I think this really only comes in S4, when he’s being so supportive of Mike or how he’s trying to be there for Eleven in school. I think these things are really kind of him but that’s not enough to me to classify him as “The heart of the party.” I’m not sure what I’d say he is… the tear ducts? Lol People just want him to be a sad boi lol

Dustin (The Bard)- I think out of the others, Dustin is close enough to the title of “the heart” but I’ve always considered Dustin to be the Brain of the party. He’s the overall smartest of the group, seems to really excel in science and has an overall general knowledge of all nerdy things. What I think is interesting about Dustin, is that while he looks at things in a logical sense, similarly to Lucas, he may be a bit more open minded, similar to Mike, even if he proceeds cautiously, which is demonstrated when he tells Will in S1 to “cast protection”. He plays it safe. He does later become braver and willing to take risks, which is shown when he tells Will to “fireball the sonofabitch” at the end of the season. While in the beginning he was skeptical of Eleven, he was more open to having her around and her helping them, especially once he realized she had powers. He also played mediator between Lucas (the skeptic) and Mike (open-minded) and he strives for peace between his friends, it’s the rule of law after all. What I think is interesting with Dustin though, is that he ends up spending a lot of time with Steve in S2 and S3, so he gains a little advantage and different perspectives. Being with Steve, he gains some confidence that the others may not have or will get later. Another big thing for Dustin, is that we see him be the MVP of the show. This is shown in how he understands situations and puts them into a perspective that is accessible to others, even if his tone can be arrogant lol. Which I think is why he’s the Bard in their party, because they are known to be artistic storytellers, sometimes even using songs when interacting with others, which works since Dustin is the talkative one, he’s the one always explaining stuff to others, and of course his iconic scene with Suzie where he sings. I feel like his role is pretty clear cut in the group, he’s changed the least I think. Just like the others, he has a lot of heart but isn’t the “heart of the party”. 

Eleven (The Mage)- Eleven is the main character of the show period, and it’s because of the boys finding her that they got even more involved with The Upside Down and all that stuff. Eleven is even more a catalyst than Will but her role is way more involved and active compared to Will’s role. She’s the “hero” role, which is further cemented with how Mike calls her Superman compared to him being her Lois Lane. She’s literally the power of the group, and even though she’s the most powerful, she still has a lot of learning to do on her own when it comes to who she is, who she wants to be and she does a lot learning when around different people. She learned about love, kindness and friendship from Mike and the others, she learned motherly love when Joyce welcomed her in. With Hopper, she learned about fatherly love,  safety and all of the emotions that come with an overprotective dad. With Max she learned independence and how to have fun with your girls! Eleven is used to being relied on for her power not her emotions. Instead, she has to find and rely on love to motivate her, she doesn’t quite do the motivating. If you get what I’m saying. Eleven is the main character, the power but not the heart.

Stay tuned for part 2...

[maxwell-grant]

May I please ask where you set the boundaries when constructing a crossover? (i.e. How far are you willing to bend characterisation of the setting a character's adventures take place in and of the individual characters themselves to make this crossover work? How many settings are you actually prepared to smush together before you feel you're losing more than you gain in this mix? and so forth).

I could be off the mark here, but this question sounds like you yourself got a very big idea planned but you are unsure of how far you can, or want to, push the concept. Two words of advice upfront: 1: Stop overthinking it, and 2: Run your ideas by people whose judgment you know and trust. I run some of my biggest and stupidest ideas by friends of mine and they help me make them less stupid or at least stupider but in a better way.

I mentioned in my post about potential Shadow crossovers that "boundaries" are not the priority to fret over so much as having a good working knowledge of the characters. And part of that is because a crossover, by design, already constitutes the breaking of boundaries. That's by default what a crossover does. You don't wanna test or break boundaries, then you picked the wrong kind of story.

A crossover is still a story like any other. Two characters meeting is not a story, it's a premise. You don't start a story by defining where it can't go, before you've even decided where you want to take it. Some boundaries are important, others aren't. Some boundaries are hard-coded and unbreakable, and others HAVE to be broken for the story to work, and the process of deciding which is which is easier when you have a clearer idea of what are the characters and what is the story you want to tell, and what you can and can't do with either. You gotta understand the properties you're working with, or at least, understand WHY you want to work with them and make this crossover happen in the first place.

For example, you could, very easily, write a crossover between The Shadow and The Spider, just by going through the motions. They are urban vigilantes with fairly similar designs who live in the same time period and fight crime with their supporting casts. I'm sure most writers offered the job wouldn't think twice of putting them together. But as someone who's read their stories quite extensively and who likes and obsesses over both characters, I would not cross over the two, because their stories and characters are fundamentally incompatible with each other in a more "serious" narrative, and you could not merge the two without seriously fraying one or the other.

It's a story that doesn't work, with characters that are not supposed to function together or in each other's narrative real estate, even with a character as malleable as The Shadow. This doesn't mean that it's impossible to write a good Shadow and Spider crossover, but to me, personally, these two are hard-line incompatible. That is, if it's a crossover based specifically on these two, because that changes if said crossover expands to more characters, as I'll get into.

Regarding the question:

How far are you willing to bend characterisation of the setting a character's adventures take place in and of the individual characters themselves to make this crossover work?

By default, any crossover is already going to have to create new settings from scratch based on relevant bits and pieces from the properties in question, so you do get more leeway for bending it.

But regarding characters, it's a question that cannot have a unified answer, because it's even more so dependant on a case-by-case basis. You could argue "only as much as necessary for the story to work", sure, but that's not really a good answer, because a story can do anything it's author wants to, and sometimes the story is not good to begin with, or the characters are just not made for being in the same narrative or even partaking in a crossover to begin with.

No amount of justifications for a story or characterization can excuse an unsatisfying result. Joe Yabuki and Guts are two of my favorite manga protagonists, but there would be no point to even attempting to put them together in the same story, because you'd have to twist either their narratives or their characters past the point of recognizability, which defeats the purpose of making a crossover to begin with.

Like, yeah, we've all heard the argument that Zack Snyder's Superman makes sense in the context of his movies, doing his own thing. Sure. But there's a reason any discussion of that character in the context of Superman in general comes prefaced with "Zack Snyder's" first, and why mainstream audiences who earnestly looked forward to Batman V Superman walked away feeling cheated, because, to borrow RLM terms here, they got "MurderMan vs Captain Hypocrite", and you can't even tell which is which in that description. You gotta give audiences at least a bit of what you promised them.

How many settings are you actually prepared to smush together before you feel you're losing more than you gain in this mix?

This one actually DOES depend on the story, because most stories that aren't just short narratives require multiple settings for it's scenes. Chances are your narrative will already be combining multiple settings, because setting is a word that can refer to "Korea during the Joseon dynasty", "spaceship traveling through lost nebulas" and "the McDonalds parking lot", as if they are the same thing. And in a way, when you look at a narrative's bones, they basically are.

To an extent, I think opening yourself up for a massive crossover of multiple properties of different characters and settings can, indeed, be a better choice than just going off purely by X meets Y. You start off by making it very clear to the audience that the boundaries are thin and you will be breaking them, and you use said framework to instead tell a myriad of stories, big and small. Stories that you couldn't really tell if you stuck to an existing framework or defined strongly the boundaries you can't cross. I'm gonna use Smash Bros as an example:

Smash Bros is arguably the biggest "official" crossover of all time, and it doesn't really have a "story" other than the basic framework that the series was built on, that these were representations of Nintendo icons dueling it out, and the few details that used to define this in the older days (like the characters being trophies and copies, and not the real deal) have been basically pushed aside. The most story you get in Smash nowadays is in the form of what the trailers showThe "point" of Smash was never really to tell a big, dramatic story with these characters. And maybe you really can't tell this kind of story, or a good story, with this many characters to juggle.

But they tried it once.

I'm sure most of you who do remember Brawl, as anything other than the blistering shame of the franchise that it's treated as these days, remember it mainly because of Subspace Emissary, which was this big, dramatic storyline where the end of the world was at stake and all the characters had to pull their weight to fight it. Subspace didn't have dialogue, it didn't have much story other than characters going from scene to scene while fighting, several of the characters either got nothing to do or were written poorly (mostly Wario), and none of this mattered at all, because Subspace, I'd argue, was the one and only time Smash Bros ever really recaptured that childhood feeling of smashing toys together that the franchise was built on.

Because if you remember being a kid smashing toys together, you remember not just doing it because you wanted Max Steel to kick Cobra Commander's butt. No, you did it because you wanted to tell a story where Max Steel got trapped in a rapidly filling water tank along with He-Man's Battle Cat while Cobra Commander kidnapped Max's girlfriend April O'Neil and bombed the city, and Max Steel had to talk Battle Cat into not eating him so they could together save the city and April from evil, and so they reconciled their differences and saved the day. Those things mattered to you. They were the stories you could tell with the resources you had in hand, sagas you did for the sheer fun of it, regardless of whether they were "good", you probably didn't even think of that. Why would you? You had bigger things to do.

And that's what Subspace did. It was big and dramatic and the world was at stake and all these heroes were coming together. Ness sacrificing himself to Wario so Lucas could have a chance to run away. Diddy Kong dragging along seasoned Star Fox pilots to rescue his buddy. Samus and Pikachu forming a bond. Peach stopping a deadly battle just by offering tea. ROB's story arc culminating in actual genocide, hell, ROB having a story arc to begin with. To a lot of people who played Brawl as one of their first games, this would have been their "introduction" to a lot of these characters in any sort of narrative, and to characters like ROB or Ice Climbers, this would have been the only chance they would ever get to be part of a great big dramatic narrative. Hell, Pit sure looked like he was on the same boat at the time, until Smash brought the Kid Icarus franchise back from death, and now Smash is where characters or properties get to stay relevant or at least on life support (Captain Falcon), or make glorious comebacks (King K.Rool). Brawl was what destroyed the idea of there being boundaries as to who could get in Smash or what kind of story could be told within it.

And people don't seem to recall this nowadays, but Brawl was when Smash exploded in fan content, specifically inspired by Subspace. This was the period of the Machinima craze and the fan mods galore and fan remixes and fan art and fan headcanons and fan films, and suddenly it hit people that, just because the games couldn't accomodate the stories they could tell with the premise, didn't mean that they couldn't start telling them on their own. We even got the formerly longest piece of English fiction off of it. The devotion Melee inspired in competitive players, Brawl did for artists and creators who got their start off in Smash fan content.

And because of it, suddenly a lot more people started writing stories with ROB and Ice Climbers and Pit and Captain Falcon and so on than there would have ever been if it wasn't for Brawl and Subspace. Smash gave ROB a story the character likely would have never gotten otherwise. And if you don't grasp what I'm getting at because you still think that fan content is a long way from being "official" or at least respectable, I don't know what you're doing following someone who rants about pulp fiction all day.

The point I want to get across is, boundaries in a crossover are important, yes, they exist for a good reason, but the boundaries should be defined by the story and characters and whatnot, not the other way around. Boundaries in fiction exist to be crossed or tested, they exist to tell you where you can't go so you can try to do so anyway and either fly high or crash.

Sometimes, bending or twisting characters and settings can be both a grave sin, as well as the thing that allows them to survive. Sometimes there are rules that seem unbreakable until someone breaks them without trying. And sometimes, going big and stupid and carefree over-the-top is either the worst, or the best outcome. It's fiction, taking risks and having fun is part of it.

So I'm afraid I thankfully cannot give your question a universal answer.

[pappydaddy]

Opposites (s.h.)

  A/N: This is for the request asking for a Steve x Reader where the reader was like Jade West from Victorious (also known as one of my bi awakenings). I am sorry for the delay, this Thanksgiving was crazy (I’m Canadian) and there was so much to do! I tried my best to write the reader like Jade without having her not vibe with the kids bc we all know that the kids come first with Steve. Now, without farther ado, here is the request! Hope you like it lovely Anon!!

Edit: I changed the name bc there are so many fics under the name Opposites Attract😅.

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

show/movie: stranger things 

requested

warnings: fluff??

masterlist | taglist | wips | navigation

- not my gif -

  Opposites attract. Something everyone has heard before. It can be applied to magnets or to relationships. While there was no denying that when it came to magnetic pulls, opposites did indeed attract, but Steve was never too sure about it in a relationship sense. He had always gone after girls who fit his lifestyle. Parties, the popular crowd, the girls who fit in to societies expectations. It wasn’t until he had met Y/N that he had realized that maybe everyone was right. Just like magnets, opposites attract did apply to relationships as well. He could not think Robin enough for introducing the hard headed, sometimes (all the time) scary girl who Steve would have never approached. A goofy guy such as Steve paired with the rocker chick who intimidated nearly everyone? Steve had never thought that would be possible outside of the movies. 

 Now, here Steve sat on Dustin’s couch as he bounced his knee, the party bickering all around him as they tried to figure out what they were going to do today. “Why would we watch movie’s all day, we always watch movies, Dustin!” Lucas exclaimed from where he sat on the floor next to Max. Dustin looked up from the pile of VHS tapes he had already selected before hand. 

  “Because movies are awesome and clearly the best option right now,” Dustin answered as if it was obvious. “Nobody can agree on one place, so the logical solution is to stay here and watch a movie.” He shrugged, shuffling through the tapes once again, ignoring Lucas’ groans of protest. Steve tuned them out the best he could as he watched the front door, willing for it to open revealing the two missing members of the party. 

  “Dustin has a point, Lucas.” Max piped up, not even looking up from watching the titles of the movies Dustin was debating on. 

  “Why,” Lucas asked simply, turning his head to face her in an exaggerated fashion. “Just why,” He repeated. “Why do you think it’s better to sit here and watch movies all day as opposed to going to a bowling alley?” 

  “I’d rather watch movies than go to a bowling alley, but we are clearly forgetting the best option brought up,” Mike inserted himself into the conversation again, banging his pointer finger against the coffee table before continuing. “The Arcade. There is a huge re-opening deal and a ton of new games!” 

  “We’re not going to the Arcade, it’ll be too crowded to have fun as a group!” Dustin turned Mike’s idea down once again. 

  “And sitting in a dark living room all day watching movies will be a fun group bonding experience?” Mike snapped back, sending the three boys into a tailspin of bickering. Steve and Max both heaved out sighs at the same time just as the front door opened, Robin walking in first followed by Y/N. The two girls ceased their previous conversation, blinking at the chaos ensuing. 

  “Finally, what took you two so long?” Steve leapt from his spot on the couch, rushing over to the pair, his eyes wide with relief. Instantly, he wrapped Y/N in a tight hug. The girl tensed for a second before melting into his hug, patting his back with one had. She wasn’t much for hugs, not being an overly affectionate person in general, but she couldn’t help but to lean a bit closer to Steve whenever he was affectionate towards her.           

  “Sorry, Stevie-boy,” Robin apologized half-heartedly, plopping herself down in the spot he once occupied. “Y/N got caught up trying to decide which Stephen King book to buy and then she saw the Stephen King display they had put up.” 

  “Ended up getting Cycle of the Werewolf, it came out a few years ago, but I was too wrapped up in the release of Cujo to focus on his book releases,” She told him, not even waiting for him to ask. She pulled out of his grasp, reaching into the bag she carried to hand him the book. Steve shivered slightly, not understanding how she could read or watch Stephen King’s books without getting the slightest bit scared. “But I couldn’t pass on the great deal they had on, they had Danse Macabre for half off so they could get make room for another shipment.” She pulled the second book out of the bag, walking passed Steve who read over the back of the book he held, eyeing the words as if they would jump off the page at him. 

  “That’s great, Y/N, but we need you and Robin to help us decide what to do for the rest of the day,” Dustin interrupted the girl, earning a glare from her (which he ignored). Y/N sat on the middle cushion beside Robin who dug through her own bag to retrieve her own book: Dark Companions. “Lucas wants to go to a bowling alley-”

  “I would rather stab my eyes with rusty scissors then go to a bowling alley.” Y/N cut him off, flicking through the pages of her new book. Dustin laughed in victory as Lucas gave Dustin a warning look in return. 

  “We didn’t get to hear what Robin thought.” Lucas pointed out, hoping that Robin would be his saving grace, but his hope was quickly shot down. 

  “I’m with Y/N,” She stated, looking up from her book. “I hate those places, they are a cesspool of germs. Kids pick their noses then use their booger covered fingers to pick up a ball.” She turned her nose up at the idea. Lucas slumped back in defeat, Max sending him a sympathetic smile despite her internal happiness that she didn’t have to go to the bowling alley. Steve hid his own excitement as he sat down on the other side of Y/N, slinging his arm over her shoulders as she began to read her book. 

  “How about the Arcade, huh? You guys can watch us play awesome games and not touch anything!” Mike brought up his idea, trying to sell the girls on it. Robin shook her head instantly. 

  “Arcades are my personal hell,” Y/N grumbled, flipping the page. “Kids running around screaming and the noises from the games. It’s nauseating.” She cringed at the thought of it. 

  “So that leaves watching movies here then.” Dustin smiled brightly, showing his still missing teeth. Mike and Lucas groaned, flopping back on the floor dramatically, missing the way Y/N’s face twisted into a scowl and Robin’s nose turned up once again. 

  “Sitting here all day watching movies?” Robin asked. 

  “I would rather stuff myself into a wood-chipper.” Y/N commented once again, her eyes never lifting off her page. This prompted Lucas and Mike to shoot back up, smiling widely at Dustin’s defeat. 

  “Hey, isn’t there that band stopping by to preform a little outdoor concert, super low-key and free?” Max finally brought up the idea she had been sitting on the whole time. She knew that Robin and Y/N would have backed her up, but the boys would have shot the idea down immediately. Y/N and Robin slowly lifted their heads, intrigued by Max’s idea. 

  “So? What band would be coming to Hawkins to play a free show? Are they even worth seeing?” Mike lifted his upper lip in a grimace as he got ready to shoot the idea down. 

  “Yes, they are,” Max narrowed her eyes at the boy. “It’s a relatively new rock band, kinda like Def Leppard meets Guns N’ Roses meets AC/DC. They are playing free shows in smaller towns to build a name for themselves, all their earnings come from their merch sales.” 

  “Now that,” Y/N finally closed her book, setting it on the coffee table as she uncrossed her legs. Leaning her elbows on her knees, she clasped her hands together and pointed her pointer fingers at Max, a smirk playing on her dark painted lips. “That sounds awesome.” She unclasped her hands to high-five Max, the red-head beyond happy that her idea was chosen.             

  “It does sound really cool,” Robin nodded, sharing a look with Y/N and Max. “I’m down.” 

  “You know what,” Steve finally spoke up, bobbing his head, a goofy smile on his face as his eyes gazed at Y/N as she leaned back under his arm, looking up at him. “I’m in too. I could use a good concert.” 

  “You’re just agreeing because your girlfriend wants to go!” Mike accused, earning two glares from Y/N and Steve. He shrunk back under Y/N’s hard glare.

  “Come on, guys,” Steve encouraged. “You guys could actually like their music, you might even find a new interest or meet some new people,” He tried to sell the reluctant teen boys. They hummed, actually listening to him. “There really isn’t any harm in going.” They nodded, muttering their lack-luster agreements in choosing the concert. 

  “Forget all that mushy, positive shit,” Y/N waved her hand at Steve’s sappy selling of the concert. “Just go and live outside of your comfort zone, taint your innocent, pure souls. You will thank me later, trust me.” 

  “Are you corrupting my kids?” Steve asked her as the boys all hollered ‘yeahs’ and hopped around the room as if they were tough. Max and Robin rolled their eyes at them, but Y/N looked back up at Steve, a sparkle in her eyes. 

  “Yeah, someone had to undo all the goofiness you instilled in them - make ‘em cooler.” He smiled down at her, pressing his lips against hers softly as the boy’s continued on. The roudiness melted away as they shared a loving kiss. As their lips pulled away reluctantly, parting the sweet kiss. Steve was never more sure that they were living proof of opposites attracting.         

[skullrock]

the campers, chapter six

chapter five - the lost (and the found)

series summary: Steve gets a job as a camp counselor at Camp Know Where, intending on using the summer to discover himself. When things start to go wrong at camp, the only people that can help him are the Party, Hopper, and his mortal enemy - you. [Enemies to lovers, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort]

chapter summary: Investigations into the disappearance of a camper ensue, while you and Steve confront your feelings. 

warnings: swearin’ and some loving caressing

word count: 4.8k 

a/n: you can catch up on the series here! romance and evil is in the air bbs

===

You wipe your tears away swiftly, instantly sobered at the reveal. “What?”

“Some kid,” Jen says. “He’s just… gone.”

You hop out of bed, anxiously tugging your shoes on. As you head outside, you notice all of the counselors booking it to the usual conference room. Steve’s made it there before you, a worried Mia gripping onto him. Your heart twists and you force your eyes away, towards the front, where Josh and a few other counselors are chatting hurriedly. Eventually, Josh claps once, the room going painfully silent.

“Today around five, a camper was reported missing by his friends. Brent Albright. He’s twelve, about four foot eight, skinny little thing. He was last seen playing in the woods about a hundred yards from campus.”

Steve stiffens. He knows Brent - and he knows the resemblance to Will Byers is uncanny. His mind wanders to when Will went missing, his stomach flipping.

“We have a search party going out as soon as the local law enforcement gets here. Some of you need to stay behind to keep watch of the other kids. We’re upping the security on site - we’ll have two people patrolling all night, each night. At least until we find Brent.”

The teams separate, you and Mia heading with the search party while Steve books it for Dustin’s cabin, scared of what he might find.

===

Luckily, by the time Steve gets to Dustin’s room, the rest of the Party is there, Suzie included. Steve halts at this, shutting the door slowly. His eyes dart between Suzie and Dustin pointedly.

“Relax, she knows,” Dustin says, very nonchalantly, everyone else seemingly on board with this.

Steve lets out a noise of frustration, surprise, and anger. “You told her?”

“When it was safe to!” Dustin defends.

Steve rests his hands on his hips, sighing in frustration and anger again. “Well, great. That’s really just great.”

Dustin’s face contorts in anger. “Uh -”

“Look,” Steve interjects, turning to Suzie. “You’re great - lovely gal, really - but I don’t -”

“What’s the problem?” Lucas pipes up.

Steve turns to him quickly. “Oh, of course you’re defending him, since you let Max in on the little secret, too -”

“Hey!” Max shouts, brows furrowed in anger.

“Don’t get so upset, you know you’re my favorite -”

“Hey,” El says.

“Alright - you too -” And Steve stops when he sees Will’s face, ghostly pale and frightened.

Steve and Mike are beside him first, Mike wrapping an arm around his shoulders while Steve kneels in front of him. “Hey, are you okay?”

He nods uncertainly. His hand slowly reaches for the back of his neck, and he shakes his head. “I don’t… feel him.”

“The Mind Flayer?” Mike clarifies.

“Yeah. I can’t feel him.”

The tension in the air evaporates slightly at this. Everyone had the same thought - what if it was the Upside Down again? It seemed to follow them everywhere, year after year. It wouldn’t be much of a shock if it had infiltrated their lives at camp.

“See? I told you it was nothing,” Lucas says. “It’s just some kid that got lost. I’m sure they’ll find him.”

Will winces slightly at the words and Steve frowns. “It’s not just some kid, Lucas. There’s… bears and shit out there. He’s lost and alone.”

Everyone goes quiet, staring down at the ground - well, everyone except Suzie, who’s still not completely sure if everyone is bullshitting her or not.

“Can you feel anything, El?” Mike asks.

She furrows her brows as if concentrating. “I can’t tell… I feel like something’s there, but I don’t know what.”

Steve stiffens, but the others seem unphased.

“That could mean anything,” Dustin says.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit too convenient for this to be happening here?” Steve asks, annoyed.

“It really could be anything, though,” Max says slowly. “I mean, he really could have gotten lost in the woods. They can be tricky.”

Mike stares at her as if she’s an idiot, but Steve nods gently in response. “They’re not as bad as the ones at home, but they can be disorienting….”

“I don’t think we should worry unless something’s definitely wrong,” Lucas says. “Like, without a doubt, weird shit happening.”

Steve feels nauseous. “I just took a hike in the woods… something wasn’t right there.”

“What do you mean?” Will asks anxiously.

“It got so quiet,” Steve explains. “There wasn’t a sound. And a deer got so close to us… something just didn’t seem right.”

Everyone goes quiet again, contemplating.

“Well, it could have been a bear,” Suzie says, her high pitched voice piercing the silence. “I mean, animals get quiet to avoid predators, and there are definitely predators in the woods here.”

Steve gives a half-hearted shrug, and his eyes wander back to Will. He seems tense, his jaw locked, and Steve’s eyes meet his. At the look of fear and worry in his eyes, Steve stands, deciding to be the voice of reason. There’s no need to worry the kids when things may just be unfortunate, but not hellish.

“You know, you’re right,” he says, running a hand through his long hair. “It’s probably nothing. Brent really may have just gotten lost. Until we know, let’s assume it’s an accident, okay?”

Everyone nods reluctantly, shoulders falling and breaths exhaled. Will’s eyes soften, but he still looks unsure. Steve gives him a reassuring smile and squeezes his shoulder. Will tries to return the smile, but it’s weak - Steve’s heart hurts. As the kids begin to disperse and talk among themselves, Steve pulls Will to the side.

“Hey,” he says quietly. “I’m not letting anything hurt you, or anyone else.”

Will freezes slightly. “I - I know.”

Steve always had a hard time talking to Will, genuinely not knowing what to do or say or how to act around him. He’s been through so much that Steve views him like an ancient artifact, too fragile to touch and too experienced to match.

“Your friends have your back, too,” he adds, albeit awkwardly. “Just - don’t feel unsafe. We’ll all protect you.”

Will nods, relaxing slightly, and he does something he hasn’t done with Steve before - he holds out his hand to shake. Steve takes it, confused but intrigued. They simply shake hands, Will giving him a warm smile, and then he walks off to the rest of the party. Steve’s brows quirk but he smiles, feeling accomplished - and then his heart plummets again as the reality of the situation sets in.

He wishes he could spend the night with the Party, truthfully. He’s a bit jealous that Will and Mike have each other in a room. Steve has Nico, but he’s pretty sure Nico was wigged out when Steve woke him up with a shout the night he had a nightmare. Steve’s face burns in embarrassment just at the memory. Hopefully the search party would be out for a while; Steve always felt safer when others were awake, able to protect him as he let his guard down. And then his mind wanders to Mia, hoping she’s doing okay, and then to you.

Steve feels a bit lightheaded when he thinks of you. The time at the waterfall felt like days ago, but it was only a few hours. He feels guilt for not checking on you sooner, for not catching you before you went to scour the woods. And he remembers your reaction to his in the woods, how scared and anxious you seemed. The guilt pumps thickly through his veins and he sets a reminder to check on you in the morning - you were sure to have a long night.

Steve leaves the room as the Party continues to talk. He’s unable to even decipher the words they’re saying - he just wants to be in his little cot, curled up and safe under blankets. Dustin once again catches him as he’s leaving, though, grabbing Steve and forcing him to stop.

“What’s your problem?”

Steve opens his mouth to ask Dustin to elaborate, but remembers what he said about Suzie’s knowledge of the situation. His gaze hardens. “You shouldn’t be telling people about this. That’s putting your life in danger, and hers, too.”

“So I’m just supposed to act like nothing ever happened? I’m supposed to never tell her?”

Steve sighs. “That’s not what I’m saying -”

“That’s what it sounds like -”

Steve’s anger flares. “I’m saying that maybe you shouldn’t be giving life altering information to a girl you’ve been dating for what? Six months?”

“We’ve been dating for over a year, Steve!”

“You could get her and her family killed over this, Dustin -”

“Just because you won’t open up to people that love you doesn’t mean that I can’t!”

Steve stills, his anger deflating and replaced with sorrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asks, but he knows exactly what it means, and he doesn’t like being called out on it.

“You’ve avoided new friends this entire time because you refuse to have any type of meaningful conversations with anyone except those you share trauma with.” Dustin’s eyes are narrowed onto Steve, even though Steve attempts to look away. “Have you even told Mia?”

“Of course not,” Steve spits, anger coming back. “I’ve only been seeing her for like, a week -”

“Then what about Y/N?”

Steve scoffs, but he panics. “No.”

“Did you want to?”

“You don’t understand,” Steve stresses, forcing a change in subject. “You read what we had to sign. We aren’t supposed to tell people about this. Anyone! Not our parents or our partners -”

“I know what we signed!” Dustin interjects. “But there’s nothing wrong with telling someone you trust about this. And there’s definitely nothing wrong with opening up to people in general.”

“I’m not like you, Dustin.”

Dustin squints. “No shit.”

“So hop off my shit, okay?”

“Whatever,” Dustin huffs. “Just - go be alone, up on… up in your little King Steve palace -”

“Yeah? Fine, I will!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

Steve turns on his heel and sulks off into the dark, anxiety creeping in as the light from the cabin dims and is replaced with the steel curtain of night.

===

The search party finds nothing the first week.

It’s a gruesome task, sifting through the woods, finding no leads. Park Rangers and local law enforcement came in to set up an investigation. Rumors spread amongst the campers and counselors in regards to closing, but there were only two weeks left, and it was only one kid. Instead, a curfew was established, and counselors took turns patrolling the grounds in pairs at night.

It was, to say the least, a very stressful time. Your neck and back hurt from bending over in the woods for hours on end the first week, desperately trying to find any signs of the kid. You felt sick the entire week, hardly able to teach your classes, and hardly able to keep the kids’ attention. You noticed the stress was working hard on other’s, too - Steve and Mia had hardly talked, and you’d only briefly caught up with Steve. He had been spending most of the week patrolling the camp. He couldn’t sleep much even if he tried.

Friday, six days after the incident, things seemed to settle down. The camp had pretty much come to the conclusion that it was a freak accident, that the kid probably was attacked by a bear in the vicinity. Some kid’s parents had them leave early, and some came to hotels and motels nearby to be closer to their kids. One of these people was Jim Hopper, who volunteered to team up with local law enforcement to teach everyone about wilderness safety.

Steve knew why Hopper was really here, though - to keep an eye on Will and El. He’d promised Joyce he had it under control; he just wanted to take some precautions. Steve wasn’t sure if Hopper’s presence in the area was comforting or horrifying, but he figured it was the former. At least he didn’t have to be the only adult here. And the kids felt safer with him too, at least.

Friday night, a counselor proposed a bonfire to help everyone relax and unwind. You decided to go, if for nothing more than to just talk - it had been a lonely and tense week. You also, of course, hoped Steve would be there. You hardly caught a glimpse of him all week, only once out on the lake in his kayak.

When you do see him, you almost wish you hadn’t.

Steve hadn’t slept in at least four days. The last night he slept - Sunday, he thinks - had been filled with Demogorgons and gore and hopelessness. Calling Robin on the payphone only did so much (and he couldn’t reveal much over the phone), and while he and Dustin had reconciled, Steve didn’t want to overwhelm the kids with his worry. He wanted to be strong and brave for them, but he could hardly be that for himself. So he strolls up to the bonfire, looking ragged and ghastly, almost like a ghost. His frame is thin and he’s pale, his under eyes purple and puffy.

“Jesus Christ,” you breathe, walking up to him. “You look like Dracula.”

“He’s sexy, right?” he jokes, a weak smile on his face.

You blush and roll your eyes, still frowning with worry. “Have you slept?”

He shakes his head gently. “Haven’t really got the chance.”

Your brows quirk. “Haven’t got the chance, or haven’t let yourself?”

Steve’s impressed with how easily you see through his bullshit. He shrugs. “Maybe both.”

You guide him to sit with you on a long log by the fire. You have to force yourself to not hold him, but it’s very difficult. You were so worried about him, about his zombie-like appearance. But you didn’t want to pass any boundaries - you weren’t totally sure if he was still with Mia or not.

Almost like he read your mind, Steve speaks up. “Mia is patrolling tonight.”

“Oh.” It’s all you can say. You want to ask if he’s seen her, if they’re still a thing, if you have a chance, but you instead focus on the fire.

The night goes on, and you talk with some of the other counselors. Conversation is light but weary, and the alcohol two boys had snuck in was gone within the first thirty minutes. You turn to ask Steve if he wants a drink, but you’re met with his head resting on your shoulder. You didn’t even notice that he’d clocked out, and your brows furrow while your stomach fills with butterflies.

You contemplate whether or not you should wake him up - he obviously needed the rest. You let him stay there, continuing to mingle, but staying perfectly still so that he didn’t wake up.

Steve’s eyes finally open around midnight, as the fire is taming down. He sits up and looks around, dazed and confused, before realizing that you’re beside him. He blinks in surprise. “Did I fall asleep?”

“Yeah,” you say. “I didn’t want to wake you up, so I….”

He stretches, his shirt riding up his stomach, revealing a sliver of skin. You pull your eyes back to the burning embers.

“You must be like a sleeping pill or something,” he says, voice slurring from sleep. “Really knocked me out.”

Your lips quirk up. “Maybe I’m just boring.”

Steve knows it’s not because you’re boring; it’s because he’s comfortable with you. The moment he sat down beside you, he felt safe and protected. It allowed him to let his guard down just long enough to slip into a dreamless sleep, and that’s really all he could ever ask for.

He doesn’t vocalize this, though. He doesn’t know how to. “No, not boring. Just warm.”

It makes no sense and perfect sense at the same time. You blush and look down, wishing he was still leaning on you. Steve scoots away from you and you frown, the absence feeling like you’ve lost something.

“Hey,” you whisper. “Want me to walk you back to your cabin?”

He nods slowly, sleep clouding his vision. You stand and he grabs your hand, using it to help him get up. You laugh slightly and start walking him towards his cabin, staying close beside him. Something about him made you feel safe - whether it was your crush on him or just Steve, you weren’t sure.

“This sucks,” he says, breaking the silence.

“Yeah.”

“I mean, it all sucks,” he clarifies, “but I mean that it sucks that I know I can’t sleep tonight, and they won’t let me do rounds anymore.”

“That’s because you need sleep,” you say gently. “You have to rest.”

“But I can’t.” His tone almost sounds like he’s amused. Steve looks off into the distance, at the treeline, sinister in the night. “God, trauma sucks.”

You don’t know what to say to make it better, so you snake your hand down to his, lacing your fingers again. Steve hums and relaxes, his shoulders dropping and his pace slowing. It’s almost an enjoyable walk, just the two of you in silence, nothing else but the wind and the lake lapping the shore behind you.

You slow as you reach his cabin, and Steve becomes stiff once again. His brows furrow with worry, and you notice.

“You’re safe,” you whisper.

He shakes his head, frowning. “I know….”

Steve turns to face you then, and you both stand like this, facing each other, faces illuminated by the moonlight. You think he looks so pretty, so beautiful, even with the bags under his eyes. You wish he’d kiss you, embrace you and tell you that you mean something to him.

And Steve, in his sleep deprived state, also begins to realize just how pretty you are, too. It’s something he’s always known, even when he was a jerk. Something fond to think about, at least one beautiful thing from his youth. His brows twitch as he looks down at you, at your soft eyes, the care and adoration held within them.

Steve’s realization doesn’t hit him quite the same as yours did. It’s almost like a slow rush, like finishing a puzzle. Dots begin to connect, memories come back, and he realizes that, holy shit, he likes you. He likes you a lot. He’s liked you for years. The good things he’s remembered - they were because of his affection for you. That’s why he remembers your laugh and your pigtails and your blue beaded bracelet. That’s why he forced away the icky, dirty things.

Because he liked you. And he always has.

While he’s processing this, you’ve formed a bit of a plan. You’re nervous to ask, but you do anyway. “What if you spent the night with me?”

Steve’s long streak of thoughts comes to a halt, crashing, his mind left blank. His brows knit together. “What?”

You blush and step back, almost like you’re stepping back behind a boundary. “I just - you slept so well earlier - maybe if we were together… we’d sleep better?”

Steve blinks. “Oh.”

“Forget -”

“No, let’s do it,” he whispers, rushedly. “I… I think that’s a good idea.”

Steve sees the adoration and care in your eyes, but he can’t imagine it has any weight to it. You never let on that you liked him. So this situation is almost a win-win for him; he can pretend for one night that the universe is in place and not out to get him, and he can get some rest.

“Are you sure?” you ask, barely audible.

He nods. “I’d really like some sleep.”

“Jen’s patrolling tonight,” you whisper. “I can - we can - sneak you in.”

Steve smiles lazily. “I’ve always said I’m like a ninja.”

===

Sharing a bed with your crush is not as phenomenal as the movies make it out to be.

Steve’s pressed himself up against the wall, as far away from you as the twin bed would allow him to be. You lay on your back, eyes wide. It’s an awkward situation, and you nearly regret suggesting it. You lay like this for twenty minutes, then forty, and then it’s two a.m, and you can still hear Steve’s rapid breathing beside you.

“Steve,” you whisper.

“Hmm?”

You blink up at the ceiling while cursing yourself. Your hands ball into fists beside you and you finally croak, “You can come closer.”

You hear his breath hitch. “I… I’ll smother you.”

You roll your eyes. “C’mon, Steve.”

It’s a minute before he rolls over, facing you, his body touching yours. You both feel like a jolt of electricity has been shot through you, and you wince before melting into each other.

You will yourself to stay on your back. Even while you can feel Steve’s warm brown eyes on your temple. You can feel his warm torso on your arm, too, the skin of his forearm close to the side of your head. Temptation wins, though, and you roll over to face him.

Your breath catches, like you’ve been hit by something massive. Steve looks so peaceful here. You take the time to notice some things you hadn’t before, since you’d never been this close. The stray hairs under his brows, how long his lashes are. How pink his lips are, how straight his nose is. You notice a scar on his right brow and reach out to touch it gently with your fingertips. “What’s this?”

“Scar,” he whispers.

“What happened?”

Steve swallows hard and shakes his head. “You should see the rest of them.”

You frown and drop your hand, but Steve gently picks it back up, placing it on his cheek. He looks at you softly, asking for permission, and you cup his cheek. Your thumb rubs across his cheekbone and his eyes flutter shut. Your heartbeat is through the roof, and it only gets worse when Steve reaches out to pull you in to him. You blush, both from attraction and embarrassment, because he can surely feel your heart beating rapidly against his chest.

“Where else?” you ask, voice shaking.

His brow quirks. “Hm?”

“Where else are there scars?”

He pauses, contemplating, but remembers but Dustin had told him. There’s nothing wrong with opening up to people. So he lifts his right hand, where it had punched Billy Hargrove years earlier, a cut on his knuckle turning into a silver stripe. You pull your fingers away from his cheek and to the scar, touching it gently. You want to kiss it - God, you want to kiss it so much - but you pull your lips into a thin line instead.

Steve drops his hand and it goes for his shirt, his fingertips rubbing gently over his ribs. “Here.”

You wonder what the hell had happened to him. You don’t ask; instead, you move your hand slowly to the hem of his shirt. You look at him and he nods, giving you permission to run the pads of your fingers to the area. His eyes flutter shut again and he focuses in on the feeling of your fingers, caressing him gently, almost lovingly. It feels nice to let someone touch him like this. Not sexual, not even romantic - just with care.

You lick your lips and feel his skin, soft and warm, a little uneven in the area where he’d been brutalized the year before. Steve opens his eyes to watch your face before his eyes trail down to your arm, pushed up under his shirt. His heart speeds up and you can feel it, hard and fast under your fingertips. You pull away at that, blushing once more, your heart rate beating in time with his.

Steve’s tongue darts out and he studies your expression. You look peaceful. Maybe a bit confused, but peaceful. In place. His hand reaches up to his lip slowly, another place that he’d been hit before. His finger lays lightly on a small scar that spreads from the corner of his bottom lip and down. He stares at you the entire time, almost painfully, like he has something he wants to say. You only reach out and replace his finger, rubbing the small mark gently.

You want to ask him what you’re both doing. It’s a weird dance, almost. It’s laced in something beyond friendship and sealed with a bow, but what it is, you’re not sure. Your hand moves away from his face and you finally look down. Your eyes stay focused on his grey shirt, at the pattern of the fabric.

“I have a hell of a concussion, too,” Steve whispers.

You look back up at him and smile. “Maybe that’s why you’ve forgotten so much.”

He frowns slightly. “Maybe.” He pauses for a beat. “Do you have any?”

“Scars?”

He nods.

You reach for his hand and pull it down towards your knee, to the scar you’d shown him at the waterfall. His fingertips press into it gently, and there’s a pained look on his face. “I wish I could take it away.”

You frown. “You can’t.”

“Wish I could.”

You wish so, too. But his fingers rubbing soothingly on it almost takes it away; if not physically, than emotionally.

Steve’s hand wanders up your thigh and to your hip, gripping it just slightly. He almost looks like he’s pouting at you, and you’re not sure what it means. You just know you like the touch. You know you want to kiss him, and you know you can’t. It feels like you’re drowning, or intoxicated at the feeling of his hand on you, soft and strong, just as it always felt in yours.

“Hey,” you say. “You should get some sleep.”

His hand falls from your body and onto the sheets. He nods and his brows furrow for just a millisecond. “I… can you….” He clears his throat. “Can you stay close to me?”

You think it’s funny that he can’t say hold me, but you relent. You wrap your arms around him and he melts into you once again, feeling safe. It’s only a few moments later when you both fall asleep.

===

Steve sneaks out before the sun rises, leaving the bed beside you empty and cold. You’re sober this morning. You’re pretty sure you should not have shared a bed with him, or touched him - is that considered cheating? Are you an asshole? You reckon you’ll find out.

You officially get up a few hours later, pulling on your uniform lazily. Your stomach flips at the thought of Steve, and then flips again when you open your door to find Mia.

You know immediately that she knows. She must have seen him leaving when she was patrolling.

“Mia….” It’s all you can manage to croak out.

She laughs, warm and gentle. “I’m not mad.”

You blink. You lick your lips and shake your head, massively confused. “Are we thinking of the same thing?”

She comes into your room and you shut the door slowly, still quite confused. She sits on the bed and looks up at you. She looks wise and all-knowing. “I knew you had a thing for him.”

“I didn’t,” you protest.

She tilts her head. “C’mon. Remember when I saw you staring at him on the lake?”

You sigh and cross your arms. “I didn’t think I did.”

“We all knew,” Mia says matter-of-factly. “Everyone except you.”

You scoff. “Who’s everyone?”

“Em, Syl, Jen, Brooke, Syd, Kara… even Josh knew. Why do you think he set you up at the beginning?”

“What?” you ask, shocked. “I wasn’t - I never - I never liked him at the beginning -”

“Maybe not,” Mia smiles. “I guess he really just saw the potential.”

You roll your eyes and Mia beckons you to sit down beside her. She wraps an arm around you and leans into you. “I just wanted to see him for fun, you know. See if he was a good kisser. It wasn’t anything serious.”

“So you’re not mad?”

She sighs. “I’ll miss that boy’s lips and hands, but I’m not mad. We would have called it quits when camp was over. It was just a fling.”

You both sit in silence for a few moments before she speaks again. “You should really go for it.”

Your heart jumps to your throat. “I don’t think….”

“He likes you, too,” she says. “I’m pretty sure of it.”

You look at her with a frown. “I couldn’t do that to you.”

She smiles. “I’m just happy I was right. You do like him.”

You can’t help but to smile back. “Were there bets going?”

“Oh, yeah,” she says. “Brooke owes me ten dollars because she thought you’d never actually admit it. But I knew you would.”

You hug her then, relief flowing through you. Then you pull away and shove her. “I can’t believe you placed bets -”

The door swings open and Jen is there again, panting once more, eyes filled with fear. You and Mia jump up.

“Did you find him?” you breathe.

Jen shakes her head. “No. Another camper is missing.”

===

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[ayellowcurtain]

after this Clip (Samedi 0.16) I want to see a protective Eliott for Lucas. Not for this situation but in general a scared Lucas and a protective Eliott. 

As soon as he hears Lola saying Lucas’ name, the conversation suddenly changes. Eliott sits up straight on his stool, watching Lola digs as deep as she can, trying to find the spot where she’ll break him to the point of no return like she wants to. 

“Stop.” 

She stops talking, but she’s ready to attack again in an instant and Eliott doesn’t let her. 

“You’re not going to do this. You don’t know Lucas. What I told you about me and him was a single piece of an entire year together. You don’t know the whole story and I won’t let you use my words against me. I came here because I knew you needed help and I would like to have someone back then when I was going through what you’re going through right now. But it doesn’t mean you can say whatever you want without consequences. You can’t blame anyone else for the things you’re saying right now. You know what you’re doing, I know what you’re doing and I won’t let it. Lucas is not just my boyfriend, the person I love the most, but he’s also my best friend. He’s not perfect and I don’t want him to be. We’re good for each other. Trust me, I gave him a bunch of ways out and he never took any of them.” 

“That’s not what I’m saying, Eliott-” She says annoyingly, like he’s some kind of dumb, innocent child. 

“Yes, it is. That we’re equal, that we’re too damaged to be fixed and others can only expect that from us: to fuck up. Us, them, everything in between. Life doesn’t work like that, Lola. Everyone, on every side, has to make an effort. You say like they act like we’re just one thing inside this box, but you’re the one putting us in one right now. ” 

She rolls her eyes and finishes another beer. Eliott’s is already warm and gross, but he finishes it anyway, not knowing when he’ll drink again. He doesn’t miss it, he noticed tonight, but it’s just a phisical response that society imposed on young people that they have to drink on every weekend and so he takes advantage of it since he’s already here. 

He checks his phone as Lola asks for another drink. He ignores it how she asks for two. He’s not going to drink. 

to Eliott: Okay...

I’m still studying, gonna make myself some delicious pasta...yay...

I love you 

to Lucas: I love you 

I love you!

Lola is not doing well. I have to call someone...

“Here.” She offers him the shot, leaving it right in front of him, but Eliott looks at her. “As an apology for about what I said about your precious boyfriend.” 

She doesn’t mean it and the ironic way she talks it’s starting to get on his nerves. He types a couple more messages and puts his phone back inside his pocket, holding his shot, but not drinking it, just keeping it away from Lola. 

“I go to therapy, you know...And I take some medication. That can really fuck me up if I drink.” Lola raises her eyebrows and smiles and Eliott sighs. He wishes she could understand how damaging to herself is the choices she’s constantly making. “You’re not fucked up enough to be this mean, trust me. I’ve been there and I know how it feels and how it looks. You’re not there yet. Daphné cares about you. Baz cares about you and all the others are really trying to be by your side. The Lamifex. Max, Sekou, Jo, Maya.” 

Lola puts her glass against the table so hard it makes a loud noise even with the obnoxious music. “You don’t know shit. You think they care, but they don’t. Your friends are just trying because they want to be nice to Daphné.” 

“And that’s a start, isn’t it? You don’t make relationships out of thin air. It needs work, Lola. And patience, and understanding. I put my work to be with Lucas, he deserves it. And he does his part too.” 

“He’s gonna leave you! We’re too much for them.” She smiles proudly and Eliott really looks at her, not sure if he really knows who she is. 

“Lola, I don’t give a shit about what you think about Lucas. You don’t know him and I won’t sit here and listen for you to talk shit about what you don’t know. Especially not about him.” 

Eliott starts tapping his feet, feeling his heart beat too fast, looking around, hating how crowded this place is tonight, hoping to find Lucas’ in the crowd, but there’s nothing. 

“Come on, just this shot and I’ll leave you alone.” 

She stands up and Eliott looks at her, he can’t let her go somewhere else while the others don’t get here. 

“Okay, okay. Sit down and we’ll drink.” 

Lola sits back down, grabbing her shot - another one that she asked while they were arguing - and lifting it up for a toast. She’s still making that face of someone that’s winning a good game and Eliott is counting down the minutes to leave. 

“To us.” 

He doesn’t say anything, because there’s no us, but he lifts his shot up and drinks it all at once, feeling it burn down his throat, closing his eyes with how bitter it tastes. Lola is still watching him when he opens his eyes again, putting his glass down. 

-

It’s hard to stop when you’re already there, a beer and a shot down. Eliott doesn’t want to get drunk or party or anything. He justs wants to be able to drink like any other guy his age. He wants an easier life, but he can’t have it. He’s too fucked up and he needs to live constantly taking medication that doesn’t go well with alcohol. 

Lola is gone. He didn’t want to take care of her after everything he heard Lola saying and his drunk mind couldn’t give a shit what she could be doing, but a guy stumbles against one of his shoulders, making him spill all his beer and Eliott follows the guy with his eyes, finding Lola shirtless, being dragged down the counter by the same guy. 

“Hey...hey!” Eliott tries to grabs the guy’s hand, take it away from Lola’s breakable arm. “Stop it! She’s leaving already!” 

But there’s not much talking. A second later, Eliott is fighting the guy to take his hands off of Lola and she’s screaming around them, constantly trying to intervene. 

The voices around them get louder, more hands in between them and Eliott recognizes the voices once they’re finally apart. 

“Eliott, Eliott, are you okay?” Lucas’ hand comes to his face and Eliott looks up, meeting his boyfriend’s worried face staring at him, searching for any big injuries. 

Fuck, Lucas is here.

“Why are you here? I missed you, I was looking for you.” Lucas nods his head, looking to the side and Eliott follows. Daphné is there too, trying to cover Lola with her jacket, arguing with her. 

“We need to leave.” Eliott bumps his forehead against Lucas’ top of the head and soon he’s being guided out of the loud club, feeling his boyfriend’s arm around his waist. 

The street is a lot quieter, but not completely, some people still getting inside. Eliott starts shaking and he realizes his hoodie and jacket are not with him. 

“Here, put this on.” Lucas gives Eliott his own hoodie and Eliott gladly takes it, putting it on, still warm from Lucas’ body. He finds his jacket and hoodie on Lucas’ hand. He’s talking to Daphné, calling someone, but always keeping his hand on Eliott and he doesn’t care to check on how Lola is. 

If they were starting to be friends, now Eliott won’t ever be able to forget the things she said to him about Lucas and how badly he was at handling her words. 

He doesn’t want to live his life constantly anxious, checking if he’s saying the right things so she won’t use it against him later. He shouldn’t have lied to Lucas about them, about the urbex. 

“You know when I leave without telling where I’m going? Urbex! I go spray paint abandoned buildings. I met Lola there.” 

His tongue feels heavy and bitter as he talks. Lucas nods his head, frowning a little and a car finally stops in front of them. Eliott is offereded to seat in the front, holding his own jacket and hoodie and the other three go in the back. 

“Yann!!!” He screams when he recognizes the driver, hugging him so tightly. Eliott didn’t know he had a fancy car. “I missed you, mec!” 

“Missed you too, bro.” Yann hugs him back, but he’s focus on the other three still getting in. “Do you know what she took?” 

He asks and Eliott shrugs. 

“Coke. But Idon’tknow. She was bad when I got here already.” 

“COKE?” Daphné screams in the back and Eliott has to look at her, seeing Lucas’ and Yann’s mouth talking to her, but not understanding what they’re saying. 

Eliott puts his head down, covering his face with his hands, feeling so stupid and inresponsible. Even if he was mad, he shouldn’t have drunk. Lola got to him like she wanted to and he even let her talk shit about the most important person in his life. 

“Fuck, I’m so stupid! I love him so much, Yann!” 

There’s a hand on his back, trying to sooth him, but it’s not Lucas, Eliott is sure. Lucas could never care about him after Eliott let himself listen to Lola’s bullshit.

“Hey, hey, stop it, man. It’s okay. None of this will matter tomorrow. The important is that you two are safe.” 

The car starts moving after a minute and everyone is suddenly quiet. Eliott puts his hand behind his seat, waiting for Lucas to reach for him too and he does, holding Eliott’s hand quietly. 

[flyinghome-againstthewind]

the best by far is you: chapter 8

Read on AO3

Previous Chapter

For all the things my hands have held The best by far is you -  Cecilia and the satellite

------------

Summary: An exploration of Claire & Jamie’s story if their firstborn had lived and they had the chance to be parents together of wee Faith Fraser before the Battle of Culloden.

Special thank you to @let-the-dream-begin​ for the beautiful moodboard for this chapter! 

Chapter 8

Late August 1745

Jacobite army encampment, near Kingussie

“Mo nighean donn?”

It was his voice that yanked her sharply back to him. He could see it in her eyes, how they went from vacant and far away to truly seeing him for the first time. He’d watched her crumble beside the wagon, out in the open here where the men were training, but her mind hadn’t been here. For several days now, he hadn’t known what it was to have his wife present with him.

“Claire.” He pulled her up into a sitting position from where she still laid on the damp, cold ground and wrapped her in his arms. His heart ached for how he couldn’t seem to reach her, even now as he held her. When the distance in her eyes appeared, he thought at first that it must be Faith ‒ that missing their baby was taking its toll.

She had assured him she was fine, brushed off his concerns the handful of times he brought it up. Kept moving, as was expected in this place.

But seeing her sink to the ground and curl in on herself for no visible reason made him damn sure that she wasn’t fine.

“Tell me,” he uttered hoarsely. Her hands grasped tightly to him, holding his arms about her. And it was like this, with her back pressed to his chest and the wind whipping around them, that she started to tell him about the war she’d already fought in France, the men she’d met as eager young soldiers, and the ways she saw so many of them lost to the world.

At some point, he brought both of them to their feet, not wanting the dampness of the ground to sink into them. And she started to tell him about two American soldiers in particular, about one night that she could never forget, as hard as she tried.

When it was over, the haunted look in her eyes still lingered. He tried to assure her it wasn’t her fault, but he watched her carry on as if she hadn’t heard him.  

“I should have tried to get him.”

“If you had, you would be dead,” he said firmly. His hands squeezed at her upper arms subconsciously to feel her very much alive and real under his palms.

“I know that. Because I told myself the same thing right after it happened. And I just… closed the door on that night and walked away. I haven’t looked back ever since until now.” Her eyes were seeing him again, but the darkness of that night was still trying to push in on her, he could see. Christ, he hated that such darkness had ever touched the pure light of her. “Now I look at Ross and Kincaid and all the others… being turned into soldiers, being trained, putting up a brave front. All I can hear is Max Lucas crying out for his mother in the dead of night. And for two years, I’ve tried to stop this war from coming. Now that it’s here, I’m not sure I’m ready to go to war again.”

“You don’t have to.” His words came swiftly in a response that had been building since she started to describe that night on the side of the road. Since she first started to withdraw from him, if he was being honest. Shame sank heavy in his gut that he had brought her here, that because of him she was reliving the horrors of another war. “You fought your war.  We’ll fight this one without you. I’ll have Ross and Fergus take you home to Lallybroch.”

“No.”

“Claire‒”  

“I can’t do that either. Listen to me, if I‒ if I go back, then it will just be like lying in that ditch again, helpless and powerless to move like a dragonfly in amber, except this time it will be worse. Because I’ll know that the people out there dying alone are people I know. People I love. I can’t do that, Jamie. I won’t lie in that ditch again. I can’t be helpless and alone ever again. Do you hear me?”

“I hear ye.” He breathed out, slow and steady. His fierce lass... “I promise, whatever happens, you’ll never be alone again.”

“I’m going to hold you to that, James Fraser.”

Despite it all, he felt the tug of a small smile at his lips. “You have my word, Claire Fraser.” He kissed her then, soft and with the promise of his words, and he held her tight, too, not caring if his men were watching.

“Jamie,” she said so quietly, he almost didn’t catch it. He felt her straighten up in his arms, steeling herself, but as she drew back to look at him, her hands came to rest gently on his chest. His hold on her lower back never loosened. After all she’d just said, he couldn’t possibly let go of her.

She kept her gaze on the collar of his coat where her fingers were worrying the fabric between them, smoothing it out, tugging it into place. Buying time while her head sorted out the right words. He could see it all there in her face.

“Don’t offer me the chance to go home again. Not even one more time. I meant what I said… I can’t be helpless like that again. But I‒” Her lip trembled and she tucked it between her teeth.

“I won’t,” he promised. His hands slid up her spine and pressed her close, meeting no resistance as she burrowed back into his embrace. “I’m sorry.”

He felt the shudder of her cry against him and bent to kiss her neck. The temptation ‒ the physical ache in his chest ‒ to abandon all this and to hold Faith again was overwhelming for him. He couldn’t imagine how it was for Claire. No, he wouldn’t dangle that in front of her. It had been cruel of him in the first place to offer that.

“What d’ye think she’s doing right now?”  

She eased back only enough so she could look at him. Her eyes were watery with unshed tears and the depth of longing there was almost enough to bring him to his knees. This was killing her, this time apart. Out of instinct, he kissed her forehead and felt her lean into it, taking his comfort to soothe the empty arms where their baby should be.

“I’ve been trying to imagine how she spends her days at home.” He nuzzled in against her temple. “I ken she misses us, but I like tae think she’s still happy wi’ Jenny and Ian and her cousins.”

They hadn’t talked like this, not in the past several weeks since they left Lallybroch. The subject of Faith was a wound too raw and exposed to touch at first, but she’d never been far from either of their minds. And as soon as Jamie had broached the subject, he felt the sharp jab to the open wound, still too tender, but he needed to speak of her, and with the only other person who loved Faith as much as he did.  

“It’s mid-day,” Claire surprised him by uttering softly, opening herself up to a conversation. “And it’s gorgeous out, even with the wind. I bet she’s outside with Maggie. They’d be… well, it’s almost harvest season. I’m sure the girls would try and get involved somehow, though it would probably result in them getting in the way and needing to be removed.”

“She is a verra curious lass.” He chuckled lightly. “Aye, I can see it plain as day. Our stubborn wee thing. Mind the time she was starting to pull herself up and stand, and she saw the basket of clean laundry that Jenny had just pulled off the line?”

He couldn’t see her face still, but he felt the soft exhale of what he knew to be a laugh, pained though it was. “She didn’t know that the basket wouldn’t hold her weight,” Claire replied. “She and the fresh linens tumbled over into the dirt when the basket tipped. She was so quick, I didn’t notice until it was happening.”

The memory was so achingly normal and he clung to it. They’d lived the life of their dreams once and if they could make it through this war, Jamie knew what would be waiting for them when they returned.    

----------------------------------      

September 21, 1745

Jacobite army encampment, near Prestonpans

Claire never knew a greater feeling of relief than she did that day, watching Jamie burst into the cottage where they’d set up a field hospital. He’d never looked more alive to her in that moment, never felt stronger or steadier under her touch than when he wrapped her up in a tight hug. They’d won ‒ as she knew they would ‒ but that fixed number of 30 casualties had hung over her head like a dark cloud. They had won, but more importantly to her, this battle hadn’t claimed her husband or Murtagh or‒

Fergus.

She slipped out his grasp when he told her to look outside. Squinting against the sudden light, it took her a moment to find him. Sitting there, still as a statue, he looked perfectly fine.

“Fergus! Oh, you wretch!” She pulled him into her arms, relief and concern and disappointment all coursing through her. “What do you mean by sneaking off like that? I should box your ears until your head rattles,” she threatened, but only held him tighter.  

“Milady,” he said very softly while she eased back to look at him. She cupped his face gently in her hands, fighting back tears at how close she’d come to losing him, unable to put to bed the worst thoughts that kept her company while she waited for news.

“Do you have any idea‒” She broke off abruptly to stop the cry that threatened to break loose. “I’m already separated from one child, you can’t just risk your life like that, Fergus!” She held his face a little firmer, gave it the slightest shake as though it might allow him to absorb her words better, to understand what he’d put her through. “I can’t lose you!”

Her chest was heaving from her outburst and Fergus only stared down at her, completely dazed and teary-eyed. The relief of finding him alive was short-lived as alarm over his appearance and demeanor quickly took over. “Say something. Are you alright?”

“I… I killed an English soldier, Milady.”

Her eyes went wide with horror at his revelation. “Don’t tell me that.”

“I think I killed him,” he amended, rather calmly. Shock, she noted in some part of her brain. “He-he fell down. I had a knife. I struck him.”

“Oh, god, Fergus.” She clutched his head against her, wanting to erase that moment for him. “Oh, I’m so sorry.” Sorry for the memory that would surely stay with him for his whole life. Sorry that he was anywhere near this hell of a war at all.

She jumped suddenly, realizing she hadn’t actually checked him for injuries yet. “You aren’t injured, are you?”

“No,” he said softly but she ignored him, turning him by the shoulders and looking him over for any apparent wounds. “I’m just… tired. Very, very tired.”

She felt the pressure of tears building up in her eyes and pulled Fergus’s head back under her chin, tucked safely against her. The fear that had gnawed away at her all evening and into the morning finally began to dissipate. He was here. He was safe. They’d deal with the rest later. “Come with me. I’ll get you some food and somewhere to sleep.”

It felt as natural as breathing for Claire as she fell into the fast-paced rigor of triaging in a war zone. She was proud of her small band of women, all of them mothers or wives who had followed their men and refused to sit by the wayside. None of them had major experience in dealing with the casualties of war, but they’d followed her lead and when the injured came streaming into their small cottage-turned-field-hospital, they’d risen to the challenge.

By late-afternoon, they’d cleared out those with minor injuries who had been properly tended to. Though after Angus, Claire had insisted on personally giving each man a thorough physical exam before letting them exit, which had left some of them waiting if a more serious patient took a turn for the worse.  

When her mind finally swam to the surface, escaping the chaos of hemorrhaging wounds and shredded limbs, it was growing dark outside. Jamie, whose urine had come back clean and who was thus allowed to leave the cottage, had returned to her. She wasn’t sure how long he had waited, sitting patiently near the front door and keeping an eye on her, but when she finally had a moment to breathe, she found his tired gaze and ached to leave all this behind and be with him, to have the comfort of his warm embrace.  

Instead, she sequestered Jamie to a quiet corner of their field hospital and sat him down next to the pallet where Fergus slept. She brought a basin of warm water and a clean cloth and after wetting it, she proceeded to wipe at the blood and dirt caked to his face. Blood that had been there since the early morning.

“Can’t believe you were stepped on by a fucking horse today and you’re just fine, bruises not withstanding. Do you know how lucky you are?”

He chuckled mirthlessly at this and watched her carefully. “It wasna a very pleasant experience, all the same.”

“Yes, well, next time… try not to throw yourself into the path of a trampling horse, thank you very much. I’d like to avoid tempting fate again.”

“I’ll do my best, Sassenach.”

She sighed and swiped at his cheek, a little softer this time.

“Have ye had anything tae eat?” He asked.

“Oh, um…” Her brows wrinkled together as she thought about it. “Not since you brought me some bannocks and fruit earlier, whenever that was.”

He looked displeased with that answer and she knew a proper meal was in her near future, however it could be scrounged up within their camp. She wouldn’t turn it away, not with how she suddenly felt her stomach’s empty quaking at the mention of food. “Bring something for Fergus, too. He’s slept the day away and I’m sure he’ll be hungry when he wakes.”

At the mention of their boy, Jamie’s gaze flicked down to the sleeping ten-year-old. His jaw clenched under her fingers as she finished wiping his face clean. After the relief of finding Fergus just outside, physically unharmed, she hadn’t let herself dwell on the horror of his words ‒ hadn’t had the time to dwell on them, honestly. But now, each word felt like a punch in the gut as they ran through her mind once more.

He fell down… I had a knife… I struck him.

She breathed in sharply and blinked quickly, trying to stave off the rush of tears she felt building behind her eyes. “What are we going to do about Fergus?” She whispered in a tight voice. “Do you think he’ll try to fight again?”

He stole the wet cloth from her and dipped it into the bowl of water. With one hand holding her chin steady, he brushed at the skin of her forehead just below her hairline. From her fingertips up to her elbows, she had scrubbed herself clean several times today, but she hadn’t looked at her reflection once since well before the battle and wondered now just how much blood was there.

“The only reason I let him come along is because I knew if we told him tae stay and he didna want to, he would’ve tried to find his way to us on his own, stubborn wee fool that he is.” She had wondered… from the moment he had allowed Fergus to join them, she had wondered why. Jamie was seldom careless and certainly never in regards to those he loved. But his assessment of Fergus rang true, especially with the day’s events in mind. “I thought if we brought him along on our terms, we could keep him safe.” His jaw clenched again and he didn’t continue right away. He tilted her chin to the side as he found a spot just below her ear that needed cleaning.  

“No, I dinna think he’ll fight again, Claire,” he said at last. “He’s had his taste of war and the romance of it always dies once ye’ve had to see it up close. I’ll talk wi’ him tomorrow.” His gaze swung back to her and he smiled gently, though it was tinged with sadness. “Make sure he kens I dinna appreciate how he made us worry.”

He then dabbed gently at a spot on her neck and she realized she knew when that one had occurred. It was Angus’s blood on her neck.

Thirty casualties sounded like nothing when only focusing on the number. She knew it was an impressive feat, an unlikely victory that stunned and impressed even in her time. But of those thirty had been Angus and Kincaid, men that she knew well. Of those thirty, she’d been at the sides of more than half of them as they slipped from this world. She could put names and faces to that number now and when she thought of the possibility of facing Culloden, of the thousands of losses—

“Dinna go there, Sassenach,” Jamie said softly.

She blinked slowly, puzzled.

“Whatever dark thought ye’re havin’...” His thumb brushed over her wrinkled brow, trying to smooth out the worry there. “Dinna let it linger.”    

Despite his attempt to soothe her, she felt the toll of the day finally catching up. Her brave front was beginning to crumble and without any resistance, she found herself gathered into Jamie’s lap like a child. He tucked her head under his chin and murmured a soft string of Gaelic words, as comforting to her as his touch was, even if she didn’t understand it all.  

“What do you think she’s doing right now?” Her voice wobbled as she asked the question that had become something of game between them, a way to escape from the horrors around them if only for a moment, and think about one of the very best things to ever happen to them, tucked away safely at Lallybroch. But it was a stupid time to ask, she realized, because it was night and there was only one answer. Still, Jamie hummed softly and rested his head against hers.

“I think she’s dreaming of our family, Sassenach, and she kens that she is loved.”

----------------------------------  

January 1, 1746

In retreat, near the Scottish Border

The Prince’s army had been encamped in the north of England when their wave of victory finally crested and broke. Retreat would be their next step. For Jamie, that moment also marked the first buckle of doubt in his previously unflagging belief that he and Claire would be successful in their own cause.

That string of victories followed by the decision to retreat had happened exactly as Claire had recounted to him. His strongest chance at changing the outcome slipped right through his fingers when he was unsuccessful in rousing the others to join the Prince’s call and march on London.  

As punishment for his insubordination, a new directive was issued to him: to lead his men ahead of Charles’ retreating army and prepare provisions for them in Inverness.

They left within a day of the order, their small band of Lallybroch men skirting quickly but carefully back toward Scotland with no small amount of fear that they would encounter English forces on their way. No one spoke of it. But it wasn’t far from anyone’s mind, on enemy soil and woefully outnumbered in most encounters with the British so far.

That encounter with the British came about a week later. The first of their journey’s delays started with Claire being taken to Belmont by British forces. And with Jamie and Murtagh’s retrieval of Claire came the second delay: returning Mary Hawkins to her family’s estate. They had decided altogether to set Mary up in the nearest town to her estate and hire a lady’s maid there to return with her in the morning to her family and avoid causing any further scandal for poor Mary by being escorted home by none other than Red Jamie.

By the time they reunited with their men in Keswick and marched for the border, Dougal greeted them with news that they had actually fallen behind the rest of their retreating army.  

Claire lost track of their days by the second week. There was nothing to mark where one week ended and the next began. Not for a while at least. But because she was traveling with Scotsmen, it didn’t escape any of their notice when Hogmanay arrived while they were still on the road, back on Scottish soil at last.

It was nothing like the way that Claire and Jamie had marked the holiday just one year prior, in the comfort of their home, alight with a naive hopefulness for what was ahead and an appreciation for what the year prior had given them.

Instead, there was the passing of whisky around an open fire in the woods. Rupert’s long-winding stories told in his lilting, pleasant voice. A few toasts to the new year, led by one James Fraser after a small amount of cajoling. The small party stayed together well into the night, though no one could say with exact certainty when one year bled into the next.

But the feelings of joy and expectation never quite saturated the group as it had for many in every year prior.  

In the harsh light of the morning on the first of January, nothing about the year felt shiny and new, brimming with hope.

Despite the ruckus that was made around the fire the night before, nobody made a sound at daybreak, lest it draw unwanted attention from possible nearby soldiers.

Jamie built a small fire near their tent for warmth and Claire and Fergus flocked to it, pressed so close together that Fergus was practically in her lap. They waited for their breakfast while rubbing the sleep from their eyes and stifling yawns. It was cold enough to see their breath linger in the air, but they created their own pocket of warmth between them and the fire.

She turned and pressed a kiss into Fergus’s curls, her heart a bit heavy. “Happy birthday, Fergus dear.”

“You remembered?” He sounded delighted by this and she felt a wave of tenderness and protectiveness for him. He deserved so much more than whatever they could give him today.

“What would you like for your birthday?” She asked. “Keep in mind this will have to wait until we return home.”

Jamie added a log to the fire and caught her eye, a curious glance there for her to see. Yes, they never did plan for themselves past this bloody war, but Fergus was only a boy ‒ he was their boy ‒ and he deserved the hope of something on the horizon. She shrugged one shoulder at Jamie. He gave her a tight-lipped smile in return. They’d make it work, somehow.

Fergus, on the other hand, pondered Claire’s question very seriously, oblivious to their nonverbal back-and-forth. “A horse,” he said at last.

“What?”

“My own horse. To have at Lallybroch when we return. I want Milord to pick it, though.” His gaze flew to Jamie and to his credit, there was nothing amiss in Jamie’s expression as those words landed.

“A horse, ye say?” A teasing glint shone in Jamie’s eyes as he moved toward them to squat down on the other side of Fergus. “Rather stubborn creatures sometimes and an awful lot o’ work. Ye sure ye dinna want something more manageable, like a pig? Or mebbe a dog?”

“No,” Fergus laughed and Claire wanted to bottle the sound, save it for later. “I want a horse. I’m certain, Milord. And you will pick the best one for me.”

Jamie grinned broadly at him and ruffled his hair affectionately. “Aye, I ken ye’re sure, mon fils. And ye’ll get yer own horse someday, I promise.”

Murtagh appeared, moving quietly through the trees, and walked toward their small campfire. He held something behind his back and as he reached them, he stopped in front of Fergus and dangled a fresh-caught rabbit. “How’s that for a breakfast feast, hmm?”

“Thank you, Murtagh.” Fergus beamed up at him.

“Well done, Murtagh,” Claire added. Jamie stood and clapped him on the back. To all of this, Murtagh grunted softly and moved off to skin and cook the rabbit, apparently flustered from all the praise.

They fed him rabbit for his birthday, which he relished, and never once acted as though there should’ve been a better alternative. As they packed up camp and headed out, Jamie made a show of telling all of the men during the march that the day was Fergus’s eleventh birthday.

His very presence created a lightness among them. But it wasn’t until that day, trudging against the bitter January wind with hardly anything in their bellies, that she saw how beloved he was by the men. How they welcomed the chance to return that joy to him for his birthday.

When everything else felt cold and hopeless, Fergus had helped to ease the burden of war just by being present with them, a child who was still brave enough to wish for better things despite their dire circumstances.

And at the same time, it was its own kind of torture for Claire to have Fergus there. While she ached to see Faith again and hold her, she knew in her very marrow that her daughter was safe from the dangers they faced. And though Fergus had never again stepped onto a battlefield since Prestonpans, there had still been a number of close calls during the war, not to mention the very real risks of starvation and sickness. The fear that something should happen to him… that he might be taken from them…

“Sassenach?”

She startled out of her reverie and forced a tight smile ‒ for no one’s benefit. Jamie always saw right through that. “Don’t mind me. It seems I can’t help but think about the worst, even on a good day. I’m fine, Jamie.”

“We’ll reach Edinburgh in a few days. It’ll be easier once ye’ve had a night’s rest in a real bed and have eaten to yer heart’s content.” He smiled at her, a touch sadly, and she knew he didn’t believe that to be a balm for her heartache, but it was all he had to offer.

“I’m sure you’re right.” It was all she could offer in return, to pretend that if her basic human needs were met, then surely the slow and painful breaking of her soul would stop.    

----------------------------------  

February 15, 1746

In retreat, north of Edinburgh

They’d reunited with the rest of the Jacobite army in Edinburgh and it was there that they held their claim over the city until Cumberland and his men laid siege on Edinburgh. From there, the Jacobite army pushed further north, eyeing Inverness once more as refuge. But for Claire and Jamie, it felt like surrendering themselves to the verdict of history, for every step toward Inverness in the name of retreat felt like a step toward the Battle of Culloden, powerless to stop the trajectory of events.

“What d’ye think she’s doing right now?”

Claire’s footsteps faltered in their pace against Jamie’s. “I don’t know.” Her voice was soft, almost drowned out by the rustle of movement around them and the clomping of horse hooves. “It’s been months, Jamie… maybe she’s running to meet her cousins for breakfast instead of walking, talking to them in short sentences with words she didn’t know before we left.” She stopped in her tracks, causing Jamie to cease as well. “I know she’s safe. But I can’t picture how she spends her days anymore, because I can hardly picture her. Has she changed so much since we left? She’s growing every day and we’re‒ we’re missing it.” She swallowed roughly, heart in her eyes. “So I don’t know what she’s doing right now. I can’t even guess.”

It was the last time the question was asked by either of them.

They stopped at the nearest tavern for the night, the temperature too cold to brave making camp under the stars. They had scraps for their dinner, for it was all they could afford with dwindling supplies and funds. Six months at war was taking its toll in more ways than one, but the most pressing to Jamie was the gaunt frames of Claire and Fergus.

“Come warm me up,” Claire called to him from under a pile of threadbare blankets as he built up the fire in their room. “And where did Fergus run off to?” She asked suddenly.

“The lad wanted tae stay up wi’ the men a little longer.” He caught her soft snort as he moved toward the bed.

“Are you sure he’s alright in their company?”

“Aye, he’s Murtagh’s charge for tonight. If they get too rowdy, Murtagh will send him up to bed.” He crawled under the covers and gasped suddenly when Claire’s icy hands slipped under his nightshirt and pressed against his back, trying to draw him in towards her. “Christ, ye’re freezing, lass.”

“Mhmm.”

He sank down beside her and felt the tip of her cold nose nuzzling in at his neck. “My puir lass,” he started to tease her, only to gasp again at her cold hands drifting lower on his back. “I ken what ye have in mind. Ye better warm those wandering hands first or it willna have the effect ye’re hoping for.”

“Oh really?”

Christ, the teasing lilt of her voice already had his blood rushing south. He yelped and jerked away from her when he felt those icy fingers wrapped around his cock.

Claire laughed and withdrew her hand from him. “See? That was exactly the effect I was hoping for.”

“Ye’re a wicked woman, Claire Fraser,” he growled at her, though his own smile peeked through.

“What are you going to do about it?” She murmured, looking up at him through hooded eyes. He drew himself up over her, seeing the look of pleased anticipation cross her face. She tugged the blankets back up over his shoulders, keeping them cocooned with what warmth they’d managed to create.

“Well,” he dipped down and stole a kiss from her. “I dinna see that I have any other choice but tae warm ye up myself.”        

She sighed happily at the prospect, her mouth chasing up after his. “I think that’s a very wise choice.”

She was light and warmth for him in the middle of a godforsaken war. And for as much as he wanted to lose himself in her, the reminders of their circumstances were never-ending, constantly plucking at their shared joy. The bed that was not their own, the raucous sounds of the tavern below them, the hunger pangs in their bellies from never quite having their fill to eat… small as they were, those things chipped away at him.

“Jamie,” she called to him, in the midst of their lovemaking, when she must’ve felt the change in him, the drift of his mind away from their connection. Her voice was the only siren song that could reach him. “Come back to me. Back to us.”

He dropped his head to the juncture between her neck and shoulder and shuddered a sigh there. Her fingers curled into his hair at the nape of his neck, held him there.

He wanted more for her. He wanted her to have plenty where everything was sparse ‒ food, warmth, shelter, safety, love. Instead, she was half-starved of all of those. She was his light when everything else was darkness ‒ his sorcha ‒ and he couldn’t even feed her well enough that the notch of each of her ribs wasn’t visible to the naked eye. Seemingly all he could do for her was to love her, keep her warm, keep her safe… and even that didn’t feel like enough. He didn’t feel like enough.  

In the afterglow, he held her, their foreheads touching, their exhales mingling. She curled into him, still seeking his heat. “Are ye warm enough, mo ghraidh?”

She hummed an affirmative and her fingers came to rest alongside his jaw, gently framing his face. They were warm to the touch. He turned his head into the heat of her palm and kissed her there.

“Good,” he sighed.

At some point in the night, he fell asleep curled around her, his knees following the bend of hers, his arm holding her protectively. His body was so entwined with hers that he woke promptly from the slight shake of her shoulders.  

“Mo nighean donn?”

The room had grown dark and the sounds below them had fallen to a dull rumble. So even though Claire tried to muffle her cries, the stillness of the room gave her away.

“Claire,” he whispered tightly, trying to sit up, to see her better, but she held fast to his arm that wrapped around her, keeping him in place. “What’s wrong?”

“Don’t…” she cried. “Just hold me.”

He was powerless to deny her that one simple request and settled back in behind her, holding tight. “Was it a dream?”

Claire shook her head. “No… I just‒” He felt the sharp, shuddering breath she drew in. “I miss her.”

With that, her stronghold broke and the tears came, after months of quietly grieving the separation.            

“I’m sorry I took ye from her.” He said softly into the stillness of the night, when her tears had ceased and the room had grown quiet again. He wasn’t even sure if she was still awake until she tilted her head back to look at him.

“You didn’t.” She said firmly, though there were still tears in her voice. “If I blame anyone, it’s Prince Charles. Not you.”

He huffed a cheerless laugh and fell silent, his thumb wiping at her tears. “Still. Ye are a brave wee thing. My Sassenach.” His inhale was sharp and bracing for the words he knew he needed to get out. “You could’ve stayed. At Lallybroch. Would ye? If I had insisted, would ye have stayed with Faith?”

“No.” Claire whispered hoarsely. Her arms tightened around him reflexively. “My place is here with you. I couldn’t have stayed, knowing what I know of the rising. And knowing what I know of war from a healer’s perspective.” She rolled onto her back so she could look up at him. “And I couldn’t have lived with not being with you. Never knowing if you were safe… it would’ve eaten me alive.” She snuffled quietly. “It does all make me sound like a rather terrible mother, though, doesn’t it?” She tried to pass it off with a laugh, but her lip quivered and Jamie was quick to cover her body with his own.

“No, Claire, never. I’m sorry I posed the question. ‘Twas foolish of me. I’m sorry.” He kissed her hair and felt her clinging to him. “My place is with you, too, and I couldna be where you aren’t,” he assured her. “But I promise ye, Claire, I’ll see you and our lass safe and back together. No matter what comes.”

She turned back on her side and he curled around her, his body again molded to the slope of hers, engulfing her. His arms stayed secure around her and she sighed and relaxed back against him.

“I’ll see ye safe.” He repeated, holding tight to Claire and, unknowingly, the small spark of life they’d created between them.

[maximoff-pan]

Déjà Vu (Part 2) | Steve Harrington x Byers!Reader

Summary: When you found out about your pregnancy, you knew you couldn’t tell Steve. Now you’ve broken up with him. He thinks it’s because you don’t love him. You know it’s because you love him too much....But what happens when he can’t accept that you don’t love him? What happens when he calls you out on your lie?

Character: Steve Harrington

Word Count: 3276

Warnings: Pregnancy, some angst (again...oops)

A/n: I really want to thank y’all for sticking with me. I am a giant (GIANT) pain in the ass when it comes to posting consistently and it means so much to me that you’re willing to wait this long for me to post this. Without further ado, I give you, Déjà Vu Part 2!

Read Part 1: here

You could never begin to explain how horrible it feels to keep secrets from the person you love most in the world. No one would truly understand you if you tried. And yet you did....You tried.

The day you watched Steve pull out of your driveway for what you thought was for good, was the same day your web of secrets began to fall apart. You’d never expected your pregnancy to remain a secret forever, you knew it couldn’t, but you thought you were going to be able to keep it hidden for a little longer. At least until you were a few months along.

Unfortunately, your mother knew you better than anyone, and she could sense that there was something off about you. She’d heard it all, every word, every scream, and every lie you had told. It wasn’t hard to tell you were lying. She’d watched you fall in love with Steve. She’d seen how much you loved him, and while Steve may have bought your ‘I don’t love you anymore’ speech (albeit reluctantly), Joyce didn’t. Not even for a second.

When you walk through the front door, you’re too heartbroken to hide from her. You don’t try to wipe away your tears, you physically can’t. Joyce gives you a painful stare that seems to pierce through you. It’s as if she’s analyzing the situation, trying to figure out what to say. She opens her arms, ushering you towards her. “(Y/n), baby, come here.”

“Mom,” You sob into her. “I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.” Everything you had been holding in comes rushing out, and you find yourself collapsing onto the floor, pulling your mother down with you.

She rubs your back soothingly, and for the first time in her life, Joyce is utterly focused on you. It had always been something with Jonathan or Will. With Will going missing, Jonathan’s constant struggles with bullies and school, and the fiasco with the upside down and the demodogs, you were often pushed to the sidelines. You were the middle child after all.

Despite being Jonathan’s twin, you were younger, something he always had to point out. Not even your birthday was your own. Everything about you or anything that occurred in your life was always consumed by Jonathan. Nothing ever seemed to be solely yours, except for Steve. But now, with you wrapped around her as if your life depended on it, nothing could keep Joyce from you.

“Oh sweetie,” She coos. “You don’t have to apologize. Whatever’s wrong, we can fix it.”

Your heart turns at her words: we can fix it. If only she knew that you couldn’t just fix it, and more so, you didn’t want to.

“You don’t understand.” You pull away from her. Your voice is hoarse and you’re sure you look even worse than you sound. “I have everything to apologize for. This isn’t just something you can put back together.”

Joyce’s worry increases with every breath she takes, but she tries to remain calm. “Then help me understand.” She says quietly. “I want to help you, but I can’t do that if you won’t let me in.”

She watches as you visibly withdraw from her. Joyce knows that whatever is bothering you has to be something big. You wouldn’t break up with Steve over nothing, not with how much she knows you love him. But nothing could prepare her for what you were about to tell her. Nothing could prepare her for how she would feel. And then you said it:

“I’m pregnant.” Those two words are enough to make her speechless, but she isn’t angry. She can’t bring herself to be angry. All she feels is sadness for you, now knowing exactly why you’d sent Steve away.

She places her hand gently under your chin, lifting your face into her view. Your eyes are watery and filled with sorrow, afraid of what your mother might say. You wait for her to yell, but she doesn’t. She lets out a sigh, a calming smile appearing on her face. “I’m not angry.” She says.

“But you’re disappointed.” You state for her.

She shakes her head. “No, not about the baby.” She pauses, giving you a moment to digest her words. “Believe me, I’m not thrilled. I’m more shocked than anything, but you know that I would do anything, give anything, to help you.”

You nod timidly. Her eyes are gazing into your soul, and you shift in discomfort. “I know that mom.” Your voice catches in your throat. “I know you’re here for me, I just can’t help but feel like I’m alone in this.”

Jonathan’s ears perk at the sound of your voice. He swiftly leans into the living room, just enough to hear your conversation, but not be seen. Why did you feel so alone? What did Steve do? He’s not surprised that his thoughts immediately go to Steve. He’d heard the yelling, just not what you were saying, and he’d always been weary of your boyfriend.

“You will never be alone.” Joyce speaks up, and you immediately feel her love. Your mom’s tone has never been more serious. She wraps you in a tight embrace, stroking your hair as you let out a faint cry. Jonathan’s curiousity grows, waiting for either one of you to speak again.

“What if I’m not good enough?” You croak, all the self doubt coming back to you. “I know you’ll be here to help me,” you reaffirm, “but I don’t want to put that burden on you. You don’t deserve that.”

Your mother pulls you in tighter and continues to run her hands through your hair. “You are going to be wonderful. I have no doubts. But I know how much Steve loves you, and how willing he would be to help if he knew.”

“That’s what scares me mom.” The desperation in your voice only increases. “I don’t want him to help me because he feels obligated and I really don’t want him to resent me for telling him. But most of all, I don’t want to tell him, and have to watch him leave all over again. I can’t do that to myself. I wouldn’t be able to take it.”

“He wouldn’t do that to you, and you know that.” She says pointedly. There’s a hint of frustration in your mother’s eyes. You can see it plain as day. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t want you taking for granted a love she never had, or maybe it’s because she doesn’t want you ending up alone. Either way, you seemed to have struck a nerve.

“How can you be so sure?” You ask her.

“How can you not be?” Her words strike you hard. “I’ve watched that boy pour his heart and soul out for you, and I’ve watched you fall in love with each other. He would give anything to be with you. But even if you don’t want to believe that,” she makes a point to look you dead in the eyes, “you need to tell Steve about the baby because he deserves to be given the chance to be a father.”

Your shoulders sink and your stomach drops. “I know.” You reply dejectedly. “I just don’t know if I can.”

Before he can even begin to control his body, Jonathan finds himself racing for the back door. A baby? His mind begins to reel. How could you not tell him that you’re pregnant? And Steve is undoubtedly the father.

Jonathan feels his fists clench in anger. And he thinks back to Steve. Every problem he’s ever had can be rooted back to Steve Harrington. Jonathan had put up with the bullying and the tormenting, and although it took him a lot of getting used to, he was relatively good in accepting your relationship with the former king of Hawkins High, but now he had crossed the line. Getting his sister pregnant? No way. That is not something Jonathan can accept.

Getting in his car, he grips the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. Even if Steve didn’t know yet, he was soon about to find out what was coming for him.

Jonathan remembers Will saying something about going to Dustin’s to hang out with the party and that Steve was supposed to be there. After the fight you and Steve had had, Jonathan knew he’d be with Dustin. Dustin Henderson was the only person other than you that Steve completely trusted, even Jonathan knew that, which meant that if he wasn’t with you, the former King of Hawkins High would be at the Henderson’s.

/////////////

“Dustin! Stop moving around.” Lucas shouts at the curly haired boy.

All six kids are wrapped in blankets on the floor, eyes glued to the television. Snacks are littered in between them as Steve is sitting off to the side in one of the two loveseats.

“I’d stop moving if you’d stop hogging the blankets.” Dustin pokes back.

“Boys, calm yourselves.” Max laughs. “Or Steve will shut this movie right off. Won’t you Steve?”

Steve barely looks up. He sighs dejectedly with a wave of his hand, “Yeah yeah, whatever.” As much as he wants to be the fun babysitter right now, he can’t help but feel heartbroken.

“What’s crawled up his ass?” Mike interrupts.

“Who knows?” Will responds.

“Who cares?” Lucas clarifys.

Suddenly, there’s a shout from upstairs. Steve doesn’t quite register what’s happening until he hears his name being repeated, getting louder and louder.

“Steve!” The kids yell for his attention. His head snaps upwards and Dustin looks at him with concern in his eyes. “My mum is calling for you.” He says.

“Oh.” Steve replies as he gets up to walk towards the stairs leading out of the basement. “Thanks.”

“Mrs. Henderson?” He calls out. “You wanted to see me?”

She smiles as he comes into her view. “Ah, yes dear. Jonathan Byers is here to see you. Said he’d wait outside; there’s something important he needs to talk to you about.”

Steve’s eyes widen. Why was Jonathan here? What did he want? He tries to keep his facial expression neutral. He doesn’t want her to know how afraid he is. “Alright. Thank you Mrs. Henderson.”

She smiles at him once more as he walks out the front door. “No problem dear.”

When Jonathan first sees Steve, he doesn’t know whether to just punch him, or full on kill him. The latter feels like the better option, but as he gets a closer look at the older teen, he notices the brokenness that is radiating off of him.

“What do you want Byers?” Steve can’t help but be cold. “You got what you wanted. You’re sister and I aren’t together anymore.”

“That’s actually what I’m here about.” He gives Steve a serious look.

“Are you going to rub it in my face?” He spits back.

Jonathan grimaces. “Would you get over yourself for one goddamn second?” His voice doesn’t raise, but it becomes much more harsh causing Steve’s eyes to widen. “Or are you that incapable of putting anyone before yourself?”

He watches Jonathan stare him down, and his anger rises. “If this is about (Y/n),” Steve states, his tone flat, “I wasn’t the one who gave up on us. I wasn’t the one who told her that I didn’t love her. That I never loved her!” He’s on the verge of shouting now, and he feels like crying. Despite the feeling, he knows he won’t cry, because he’d cried too much already.

“If you can’t see that she’s lying to you, then you’re not the guy I thought you were.”

“The guy you thought I was?” Steve scoffs, letting out a sarcastic laugh. “And who would that be? Huh? The guy who is incapable of putting anyone before himself?”

Jonathan knows he deserved that, but he needs to get Steve back to you. Telling Steve about your pregnancy out of anger would only cause you pain, and Jonathan would never want to hurt you. When he’d gotten into his car to come find your ex-boyfriend, that had been his plan, (that and to beat the living crap out of him) but now he can see how much damage that would cause. You deserve to be the one to tell him.

“Look,” He begins. “I’m not here to hurt you, or make you feel any worse than you already feel, but I need you to know that she’s lying to you.”

Steve turns to face him. “About what?” He knows what Jonathan’s alluding to, he just needs to hear it for himself.

“For Christ’s sake Steve!” He shouts. “About not loving you. About never loving you.” He gives Steve a moment before speaking again. “I know my sister Harrington, and if there’s any person on this planet that she could choose to spend the rest of her life with, it would be with you. She broke up with you to protect you, not because she doesn’t love you. I’ve never seen her love anyone more.”

Steve feels his heartbeat quicken. “Protect me from what?”

“It’s not my place to tell.” Jonathan states. “But if I were you, I’d go talk to her, and I wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“I can’t leave now.” His voice is shaky. “Mrs. Henderson is leaving soon, and I’m supposed to be watching the kids.”

Jonathan nods at him and smiles. “Go to her Steve. I’ll take care of them.”

Steve’s heart is racing as he begins to jog to his car, fumbling for his keys. “Thanks man! I’ll uh, I’ll see you later!” He shouts back at your oldest brother. Jonathan only shakes his head and laughs, but Steve grins knowing full well that Jonathan Byers never was one for talking.

/////////////

Steve’s mind seems to be traveling much faster than his car. What did Jonathan mean? Why would you lie about not loving him? He’s never been more confused in his life.

Throughout your entire relationship, you had done nothing but show him how much you loved him. For the first time, Steve felt truly loved and truly understood. He thought he knew what it felt like to love someone so deeply. He thought Nancy had taught him that, but it hadn’t been until he was with you that it all clicked. He didn’t feel like he needed to be someone else when he was with you. He didn’t have to be King Steve, or Babysitter Steve, he could just be Steve, Steve Harrington.

That’s why when you told him you had never loved him, that it hurt so much. Because not once in your relationship did he ever feel that you were lying to him. Not once in your relationship did he feel unsure of where you stood and how you both felt.

He’s not quite sure what convinced him of your lie. Was it what you said? Or the way you said it? Either way, it broke him to feel so vulnerable again. He didn’t want to believe what you were saying to him, but after the neglect from his parents, from Nancy, how could he believe that anyone would ever love him? Especially someone like you.

/////////////

The sudden knock on your door shocks you out of your trance. Your mom had headed out to town less than half an hour ago.....surely she wouldn’t be back by now, and Jonathan and Will would never knock to get into their own home. It could be Hopper. You think. Yeah, it’s probably just Hopper.

You sigh as you get up, trudging towards the front door. Your mind refuses to think of him. It couldn’t be Steve. It can’t be him.

Steve shifts impatiently, waiting for you to open the door. When you do, all he sees is the colour drain out of your face. “Steve.” You whisper.

He doesn’t waste a second of time. He brushes passed you, quickly closing the door behind him. You eye him cautiously. He seems annoyed....flustered....maybe a mix of the two. You feel your heart begin to pound in your chest as Steve begins to pace, trying to get your attention.

“Why?” He suddenly breaks the silence.

“What?” You manage to choke out.

He runs his hand through his hair in frustration. “Why did you lie to me?”

You’re too nervous to be direct, and avoidance seems to be your best option. “I don’t know what you’re taking about.”

“Bullshit (Y/n)!” He shouts. “Don’t do this. Don’t pretend I don’t exist.”

Your eyes widen, as the guilt continues to consume you. “Steve. I don’t know what else to tell you.”

“Why did you lie?” He repeats, this time harsher.

“No.” You shake your head. “No. Please don’t do this to me.”

“Why did you lie?” Steve gets closer to you, and his voice is much louder now. You’re at your breaking point, you know Steve can see that, and you can feel the tension sparking in the room. He knows if he asks you one more time, you’ll cave. “Why did you lie?”

And everything inside you breaks.

“Because I’m pregnant Steve!” You cry. “Is that what you want to hear? Huh? I lied to you because I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone before. I lied to you because I was afraid you’d leave me, and I was afraid you’d resent me. I lied to you because I didn’t want to hold you back. Because I want to keep this baby, and I don’t want you feeling obligated to be with me.”

You let out a long, shaky breath that you’d been holding. Despite your secret being out, a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders. If Steve didn’t want to be with you, then at least you could move on, and you wouldn’t have to feel the regret of not telling him, and not knowing.

“You’re...” He stutters trying to find the words. “How uh...how far along are you?”

“A few weeks.” You reply, and for the first time today, you see Steve smile.

“We’re going to have a baby.” His words come out in a whisper. He’s in awe of the idea, surprised by it, but not upset. A brief silence rests between you two before he breaks it. “You thought I would leave you?”

You’ve never heard him sound more broken. Not even when you told him you didn’t love him. “I didn’t know what to think.”

Steve places his hand on your cheek, looking you straight in the eyes. “I would never leave you.” There are tears in both of your eyes. “I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone. Promise you’ll never feel that way again.”

You grip him tighter, a laugh bubbling out of your throat. “I promise.” You lean up to place a kiss onto his lips. It’s tear stained, and messy, and certainly desperate, but it’s also beautiful, and loving, and sweet. Pulling away from him, you mutter, “I love you so much.”

Steve chokes out a half cry, half laugh, and grins. “I promise you, I love you more than I love anyone else on this planet.”

You smile at him once more as his hand gently touches your stomach. “I don’t think that could ever be possible.” He gives you a confused glance, and you giggle. “Just you wait until this kid is in your arms. I think you’ll find you’ve never loved anyone more than him or her.”

“Not even you?” He gasps dramatically, trying to make you laugh.

You look into his eyes with as much love as you can. “Not even me.”

/////////////

Tags: (If your name is crossed out, it’s because tumblr wouldn’t let me tag you!)

@lavender-writer @mercury--moon @ericahrenee @itsfangirlmendes @thetimidsarcasticcat @smileyxdolans @sydkerley @ginger-swag-rapunzel @bluefaeriefury @laurenisheretoo @friendly-neighborhood-tiffany @fangxrll @amtheyst34 @stevesvibraniumshield @deactiveblogx @gabriellawilsnn @yellowhopes @bookworm06 @anchy-bananchy @lil-spidey @sweetsinster @chillinjules @christinawxxx @philopatris @darlingimmafangirl @skelkitt @boltybolt @falling-stars-never-cry @whosbarnes @mylostsoul28 @elizaaishi @anomiatartle @heavenlyholland @loveofmonstersandroses @sugar-skulls-and-roses @ephemeral-limerences @linkispink1995 @addictwithaheavydirtycheetah @idjitdestiel @likemeonlyme

[kaypeace21]

Byler hints in the background of s1-3

Honestly, this should just be called- ‘my autistic brain casually (and without even trying) notices shit in the background, but never mentioned it- because I thought it sounded too crazy to talk about’ XD. But the symbolism and Easter eggs give my byler-shipping heart so much life. So I thought, since you guys prob. didn’t notice it- I’ll mention it anyways.  So here goes.

Drawings/rainbows

There has been a theme in s3 about how Mike equates ‘falling for girls’ as a part of growing up, and his feelings for Will as something childish that he has to has to grow out of. 

- confessing to El : “A feeling … yeah, like, something… like OLD PEOPLE say it sometimes”.

- “And Will too. I was thinking we could all have new presents to play with and *scoffs* Sorry, that made me sound like a 7 year old... (apologizing to El)

- Mike getting in a fight with Will (after d&d), and saying they can’t be close anymore: 

Mike says, “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”, and then he tries to ½ apologize only to say, “I’m not trying to be a jerk. Ok? But We’re not kids anymore.” Explaining, this is just the way things are-boys fall in love with girls, get girlfriends, and this is just a part of growing up (heteronormativity).  He tells Will “I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? We were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?” And poor Will who is probably more aware of his feelings just responds. “Yeah, I guess I did. I really did.” And of course Mike immediately apologizes for being an “ asshole”, after this.

But here’s the thing! Mike actually does wish he didn’t have to grow up and that he could play games with Will (without girlfriends) for the rest of their lives. His room, in s3, SCREAMS that he’s trying to grow up/act straight... but he can’t let go of his feelings for Will. 

He literally takes down his old childhood poster from s1-2 for a more mature/adult poster. But on the same wall (where the old poster used to be) he hasn’t removed a single d&d drawing Will has given him. He’s pretending that he’s grown out of d&d when Lucas is around- because he’s emulating how (the straight) Lucas acted, all season. But Mike has it BAD (and is seriously pinning) for Will! Like, I love Will but his art at 11 years old isn’t so great to justify it still be on Mike’s wall at age 14.  He’s just that whipped (and literally can’t part with a single drawing Will has ever given him) XD

Like... it’s cannon that Mike caresses Will’s drawings 

He’s that ‘ dumbass blinded by love’ who thinks anything Will’s draws is a perfect- masterpiece. Mike could literally see Will draw scribbles and think it’s amazing! Like in s2 he just guides his hands through the scribbles he drew on the wall- no joke! XD

However, what’s interesting though is the one other things he took down from his wall. In S1 Mike (before he even met El)  has a heart sign, with a red heart being propelled by a rainbow. Yet in s3 , the season where he’s ‘obsessing’ about El- it mysteriously disappears. However, in the first ep of s3 when Mike is making-out with El we see a emergence of the heart being propelled by a rainbow (in El’s room) as a drawing. Probably signifying Mike participating in compulsory-heterosexuality and that no matter how hard he tries- he’s not straight!

So given the fact he can’t part with any of the pictures on the wall...you better believe Mike still has that giant binder filled with every drawing Will has given him . And he’s probably hidden it away , with the rainbow heart sign (because he knows it would look suspicious to have laying around). 

-Also, Mike literally has more rainbow symbolism than Will (and has had it through every season) XD

-the s2 ref being the most on the nose) Forbidden fruit + rainbow = queer forbidden romance. And during the 80s, that rainbow-apple poster in the AV Club was suspected to be in reference to Alan Turning (the gay ‘father of computers’).

Animal easter eggs that relate to byler and the upside down/supernatural-plot .

tigers- Mike keeps a tiger poster (which was right next to that rainbow-heart sign) in his basement through s1-3. In s1 we see Will also has a tiger drawing, which is later put on the wall (like a poster) in s2.  Sara Hopper (like Will ) had her death faked by the government (and had a tiger plushie in s1)- and Kali probably had something to do with it since in the prequel novel ‘suspicious minds’ had Kali talk non stop about her fav animal , tigers.  Theory  here. But again, Jancy is also connected to tigers as a romantic symbol (just like byler).

sharks- The Duffer brothers themselves said they based the s1 demorgorgan off of sharks, which Nancy even references in s1. Mike and Will have shark iconography in their room/basement. Will has a jaws poster shown in s1-2, and Mike has shark toys visible in s2. The shark (and bear) symbolism hint at the fact that Will created the upside down/demorgorgans/mind-flayer using his powers- theory here.

bears- Will since s1 has had bear symbolism around him. Bears symbolically represent  “wisdom” like ‘Will the wise’ and were associated with the demorgorgan/upside down in s1 and 2 as well . Max and Nancy compared demogorgans to bears- and Nancy and Jonathan used a bear-trap to capture a demorgorgan in s1 . 

But s3 made bears a romantic symbol- Mike was going to buy a golden teddy bear for El as a romantic gesture. The golden bear had a bowtie (it’s male). And the gray bear that Mike gives to her, was originally Will’s (as shown in s1 &2). This gray bear is coming right in between Mike and El (at the end of s3). They even kiss , while El presses the bear right in between them.  In conclusion these romantic bears represent Will. * I mean that whole awkward kiss (where Mike’s eyes are open and he doesn’t kiss back- happens in Will’s room, in front of Will’s open closet,  with Will’s bear smushed between them (pretty blatant foreshadowing).

dinosaurs- This one is probably a stretch but we see this boy has tons of dinosaurs (at least 6). He starts to info-dump on El about how much he loves them. But, she has no interest. And if the wtf look didn’t make this obvious.

She even gets up and walks away, ignoring his tangent about dinosaurs. 

She literally couldn’t care less about his interest in them. 

But in spite of this, we see Mike gave her Rory in s3 (since it’s in her bedroom). And in s2 we see him sadly look at Rory, with 2 other dinosaurs in frame. This, along with s1 implies he has a huge collection of various dinosaurs .But his collection is missing one of the most popular dinosaur species... the brachiosaurus (the long necked dinosaur).

And right after this scene in s2 scene, we go to Will’s room. And he has a huge brachiosaurus! This boy couldn’t even afford a halloween costume and had to have his hand-made by his mom... but he could afford this huge -fancy dinosaur replica? I bet Mike bragged about his dinosaur collection to Will (like he did with El). But Will being a nerd, was actually impressed. So Mike actually gave him his best/fav toy in his collection- kind of like what he did with Rory.

frogs- This is the most hilarious thing to me. I laughed for like 20 minutes on my rewatch. In s1 Will has a GIANT stuffed plushie of a frog next to his jaws poster and teddy bear. I’m dead! Will doesn’t even disagree with the “frog face“ insult. 

He’s just like ‘well, he’s my frog face’ . Time to snuggle with this frog that looks just like Mike . Will is so in love but also low key savage dragging Mike like that. I can only imagine Dustin and Lucas saying “nah, you don’t look like a frog”. And poor baby-Mike asking Will what he thinks, and Will not being able to lie, just saying “ Well... some people like frogs.”  XD

We also see that in s2 the frog is missing but the Jaws-poster, coin jar, and the bear (we later see El holding in s3) remain .Probably to indicate this is when Will started to subconsciously suppress his feelings for Mike. Although @theclericwill pointed out -that , instead, Mike may have used the frog-plushie as a pillow... for his frog-face XD

Throwing shade at Mileven/mileven shippers in s2 

In the Montauk pitch (later named Stranger things) they describe the Mike and El dynamic by saying “ If Mike is the Eliot of our show,Eleven is our Et.” (AKA they’re from different planets)

-In s2 , Erica  is forcing He-man and barbie to make out. Lucas angrily separates the two. And then this discussion happens.

Erica: “Hey , They’re in love!”

Lucas (livid- and standing right next to a rainbow): “No, actually,  they’re not. They don’t even exist on the same planet.”

Not to mention I doubt it was a coincident they had a (bratty) pre-pubescent girl be the proxy for most mileven shippers.Like not all mileven shippers are bad, but almost all the toxic ones (that the Duffers have to deal with) are tween girls. And to the Duffers, only a child could think 2 people are ‘in love’ after a week of knowing each other. Or that El could understand such things like romance- given the fact that her and Mike are from different planets (given how El has no experience with the outside world).Mike even says in s2,  he can’t hate Max because he ‘doesn’t know’ her (despite knowing her as long as he knew El). Meaning he doesn’t love El since he doesn’t know her. 

Plus, El told Mike, he treats her like ‘garbage’ and ‘a pet’ . And Finn after s1, said that the Duffers told him Mike thought of El as a puppy, and she is even compared to Dart (a demo-dog in s2). Mike asking Dustin, angrily “What, You have a bond? Just cause he likes nougat (eggos)?” Being a  blatant dig at people obsessing over this shallow aspect of their relationship.

Mileven was also compared to that  of family members. In s1, right before they kissed, she asks “will you be like my brother?” (while wearing Nancy’s dress). And Mike also referred to her as his ‘cousin’ . Not to mention, El loved ted’s laz-eboy chair (and Nancy said Karen and Ted “never loved each other” ). And right before Karen is about to cheat on Ted - she looks at him sleeping in the chair (and the lyrics are ‘I should have walked away’). 

It’s pretty hilarious, since so many people try to ‘no-homo’ byler by saying Mike thinks of Will as a brother/or family- yet, their relationship has never been directly compared to a sibling (unlike mileven).

People also seem to not realize Mike lied in s2 (just like he did in s3). He thought El was dead in s2. He told Max it “got her like it did bob” and then he made a spectacle in front of everyone saying “I never gave up on you”. Which was a blatant lie (since he just told Max a few minutes earlier, she was dead -_-). Mike simply blamed himself for her death (he said they needed her to save Will and even referred to her as a “weapon”). So when she died he felt the most responsible- and was hoping she was alive (and would answer his call) to alleviate his own guilt. Not because he loved her (that was an act). When he saw Will’s dead body, but heard his voice, he went on a rescue mission to save Will (from another dimension). But, Mike didn’t even bother going into the woods after seeing El outside his window (something he did for Will in ep 1, during a storm). And then in s3 Mike couldn’t even bother to call El and apologize- but ran to apologize to Will in the woods during a storm (bringing that whole parallel -full circle).

Plus, El told Mike, he treats her like ‘garbage’ and ‘a pet’ . And Finn after s1, said that the Duffers told him Mike thought of El as a puppy, and she is even compared to Dart (a demo-dog in s2). Mike asking Dustin, angrily “What, You have a bond? Just cause he likes nougat (eggos)?” A blatant dig at people obsessing over this shallow aspect of their relationship.

Bob and Mike parallels- the Rubik cube

Both are unathletic, smart, love comics, the only 2 to not treat Will ‘different’- and would do anything to protect their loved ones. And they also had crushes on Byers in childhood, and tried to give their Byers normalcy (despite them not being a ‘normal family’). They purposely display, and have Will -mirror Joyce- and Mike -mirror Bob- in multiple shots, throughout s2.

And both Mike and Bob are AV club leaders. Bob mentioned in one of the  earlier episodes  that he founded the Hawkins Middle AV club . And Mike later grabs Bob’s Rubik cube, and mentions this after his death (to solidify the connection- even if subconscious in our minds. He even proclaims after this “we can’t let him die in vain” . And this is when Mike makes the plan to help Will (before El shows up). 

gif credit: cath-avery, dailystrangerthings

[shaunasshipman]

You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to bc I know (and agree with) your ST3 feelings lol but I was going through your ST tag and got emo so,,,, 8. “Well…this is where I live.” for byeler? 🥺 ily btw

Byeler + #8: “Well… this is where I live.”

Author’s note: Logan! This got so long, I apologize lmao. Happy Stranger Things Day to Logan and Logan specifically. This plot has nothing to do with the prompt at all, but I hope you like it anyway! I needed to get my Mike feelings and dwellings OUT of my brain!

Warning: Vague notions of potentially suicidal thoughts (aka references to 1x06- the monster.)

Will didn’t need any sort of supernatural telepathy to know that something was off. He didn’t feel it like goosebumps on the back of his neck or a sudden shaking of his hands. It something deeper, an unsettled feeling in his stomach. A jumping, something just beyond what he was able to describe. Almost like being nervous but… nervous without a cause.

“What’s wrong?” El asked, sitting across from in cafeteria. Dustin, never far behind El these days, sat beside her with his face buried in a large bag of salt and vinegar chips. Despite the worry in his gut, a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips at the thought of the disgusted face and fake gagging Lucas would dramatize at the sight. “You are being quiet today.”

“I’m always quiet.” Will said, slowing pulling the crusts off his tuna sandwich. Dustin pulled a disgusted look at the sandwich of choice, as though he wasn’t currently ripping the bag of chips open and licking at the salt directly from the inside.

El didn’t seem to so much as blink as she sat across the table from him. She was staring him down with unwavering intensity and Will knew what she was going to say before the words had a chance to leave her mouth. “Yeah, yeah. I know. Friends don’t lie.”

He chose to ignore that he and El were a little more than friends at this point. Since the… horrific events at the Starcourt Mall four months ago- the loss of Hopper- El had moved into the Byers House. After three weeks of sharing a bed, and sharing a bedroom since then, Will knew they had a connection that was much deeper than simply being friends. In the deepest, and most innocent of ways, El was his other half. Maybe friends didn’t lie, but Will couldn’t lie. Not to El.

“I just feel weird today.” Will said with half a shrug. “It’s not a big deal. It happens.”

El frowned, eye still narrowed. Will reached across the table and gripped her hand. Her expression softened, and she squeezed Will’s hand back even though he knew it wasn’t comfortable. Even over a year later, Will Byers still struggled to stay warm.

Lucas and Max loudly made their way over then, chattering (arguing? Sometimes it was hard to tell) and Will felt his heart sink when he realized that Mike wasn’t with them. El squeezed his hand once more before pulling away. Will thought maybe he saw her drop under the table towards Dustin, but well- Will wasn’t going to dwell on that. Everybody was entitled to their secrets, he knew all about that.

“Where’s Mike?” Will asked Max as she sat down beside him. Lucas, as predicted, had launched right into an argument with Dustin over the empty bag of chips. Max rolled her eyes at them, and immediately turned to grab fries of Dustin’s tray while he wasn’t paying attention.

“Dunno.” Max said through a mouthful. Will frowned and her could feel El watching them. “Asked to go the bathroom halfway through last period and never came back. Guess he took off.”

“Mike wouldn’t do that.” Will said loyally. Lucas and Dustin’s debate slowed to silence and El stared down at her hands. Max was looking at Will almost sadly. Because Mike had been doing stuff like that lately. 

“Well, where could he go?” Will asked heavily, leaning forward on his elbows. He rested his chin on his tightened fists. “It’s not like he’s going to go home in the middle of the day. If he’s not here, where would he go?”

Nobody had any answer for him, and the table was quiet for a moment before Dustin caught Max attempting to steal more fries from his tray and they quickly fell back into chaos. Will continued to shred the bread into tiny pieces and they tossed the baggie into the garbage as the bell rang for class.

“Hey, Will.” Dustin called after him. Will turned around and frowned. He’d thought he’d been trailing behind the rest of his friends but it seemed while he had been lost in his own thoughts, he’d walked a little faster than he’d thought. Dustin was walking towards him, El by his side. Her arm was definitely linked with Dustin’s, cheek against his shoulder in an all too familiar stance. Will raised his brow at her and El smiled shyly.

Not ready to talk about it. Will could understand that.

“What’s up?” Will asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Dustin cleared his throat, scratching at the back of his head with the hand that wasn’t currently in El’s grip. “I think I might know where Mike is.” Dustin said, voice low. Will took a step closer to hear him better. “I mostly pretend I.. don’t know he goes there. But before I tell you, there’s something else you need to know first.”

Will looked between Dustin and El, Dustin looking in dead in the face and El staring off slightly in the distance with an angry frown on her face. . “What is it?”

“It’s uhm.” Dustin swallowed roughly. “When you were… missing… something happened. With Mike.” Will felt his breath begin to pick up, and El’s gaze jerked up from the floor to look at him. “Lucas doesn’t know, either. Things were just really crazy, and by the time everything had calmed down, and you were back and El…” A pained expression came over Dustin face and he cleared his throat again, eyes dropping away from Will’s for the first time since he’d started speaking. “Mike didn’t want to bother you guys with it, and I didn’t think anything of it but. I don’t know if he ever got over it.”

Will glanced between Dustin and El again, willing himself to breathe normally. “What is it? Dustin, seriously, just tell me, just-”

“Mike and I ran into Troy at the top of the Quarry cliff.” Dustin spit out. “The same one the police were saying you fell off and drowned. El had made Troy piss himself in front of everybody at your service for upsetting Mike-” El gave a half smirk, and Dustin matched it-”and he was so pissed. He grabbed and he pulled a knife. He threatened to cut my baby teeth out if Mike didn’t jump.”

“Jump off the Quarry?” Will asked, voice feeling stuck in his chest. “That’s…”

“Psychotic?” Dustin said darkly. “Yeah. It is. I tried to beg him not to jump, but-”

“Wait, he jumped?” Will squawked, then looked around wildly. The cafeteria had completely emptied and Will shook his head. “He jumped off the Quarry? How is he even alive? This doesn’t make any sense-”

“I saved him.” El interrupted Will’s panicked rambling. “With my powers. I held above the water and brought him back up to the top. I saved him.”

Will held eye contact with El for a long time, matching pained expressions on their faces. The difference being, El was from memories and Will’s were from horrified images drawn up from his imagination.

“He didn’t so much jump as just…” Dustin pursed his lips. “He just walked up to the ledge and stepped off. One second he was there, and the next he was disappearing into thin air. And Troy was holding me back, I couldn’t get to him if I tried. I thought he was gone, man.”

Will’s stomach was fully in his throat now, hands shaking at his side. El reached out and took Will’s shaking hand with her free one, uniting the three of them in some sort of half circle.

“I saved him.” El repeated firmly. “I saved him. He’s okay.”

Will nodded and closed his eyes. Images flashed in his mind, getting back from the Upside Down to find out Mike had died while he was gone. He wasn’t sure he could imagine anything worse, having to go through everything that came after without him. Or maybe he never would have gotten back at all, without Mike.

“But he still goes there. I think.” Dustin said quietly. “He said something once, after the mall that made me think but I never knew how to bring it up. But if you’re looking for him, that’s where he might be.”

Will nodded and forced himself to return the smile El gave him as they walked out of the cafeteria. Will sighed. Looks like he wasn’t going to be making it to his afternoon classes, either.

He skidded to a stop near the top of the cliff, and he spotted Mike immediately. He was sitting up at the top, legs dangling over the edge. Will walked towards him, slowly to not startled Mike over the edge. There was no El here to catch him, and after Starcourt… she couldn’t even if she needed to.

“Go away Dustin.” Mike said. His voice was deeper than usual, thick with what Will knew must have been tears. Will’s heart clenched in his chest.

“It’s not Dustin, Mike.” Will said softly.

Mike flinched slightly and turned away from the edge, looking up at Will with big, wide eyes. “What are you doing here? Your mom is going to be so freaked when you find out you bailed out in the middle of the day.”

“And yours isn’t?” Will inquired, taking a seat next to Mike with his feet dangling off the edge of the world. “You know what I was thinking the whole way over here?” Will asked and Mike hummed in response, stubbornly not looking at him. “I was thinking that the worst thing I could imagine was if I came back from the Outside Down and you weren’t here.”

Mike squeezed his eyes shut. “Who told you? Dustin or El?”

“Both?” Will said with a forced laughed. “They’re sort of a package deal now, if you hadn’t noticed.”

Mike crinkled his brow, opened his mouth then shut it quickly.  “Why did you come here?” He asked. “You shouldn’t have come. I’m just. My sister calls it agonizing.” He said the last word in higher pitched, but almost cripplingly angry voice.

Will wanted to reach out to hold his hand, but couldn’t. Best friends since kindergarten or not, but Mike wasn’t El and Will couldn’t just hold his hand. “You guys are fighting again?”

“No.” Mike said shortly. “It’s not- this isn’t about anything, I just.” Mike shook his head. “Well.. this is where I live.”

Will frowned. “What?”

Mike squeezed his eyes shut and his bottom lip shook. Will’s hands twitched in his lap, desperate to give comfort he didn’t know how. “It’s like. I didn’t hit the water but I never really came up either. It’s so stupid that after everything we’ve been through, all the monsters and bullshit we’ve seen and been through- it’s the water coming up to greet me I dream about.”

Will through his judgment away as he tossed an arm around Mike’s shoulder. He squeezed Mike tightly and tried to ignore how his best friend shook beside him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Mike said. “I can’t believe I’m crying to you about this like a bitch. You’ve been through so much, all of you have, and I can’t even-”

“It’s not a race, Mike.” Will said softly. “We all went through stuff and we help each other. Okay? We can’t help you if keep it from us.”

“No, I just-“ Mike hands were shaking between his knees and Will rubbed at Mike’s back. “It’s like I went into the Upside Down at all, or like my dad died or my brother or I got kidnapped by Russian spies or-”

“Stop.” Will said sharply. Mike whipped to look at him, guilty. “You’re not any less of a victim then any of us.”

“I am though.” Mike said so quietly that Will almost didn’t hear it.

He grabbed Mike by the shoulders and tugged him to look at him. They sat nose to nose. “Don’t say that. You lead everybody to find me when I disappeared. You watched the girl you love disappear into thin air and spend an entire year being the only person who still thought she was alive.”

“I saw them pull your body from the water.” Mike said, eyes dancing over Will’s face. Will’s heart nearly exploded in his chest. “We all did. Lucas, Dustin, El.. We were all there and they found you. You were dead and I… I didn’t even know how I supposed to keep existing. What I was going to do next.”

Mike swallowed roughly and turned away, looking over the across the almost black water. “That mouthbreather Troy told me to jump and I looked down and I thought. Maybe you were dead. Or you weren’t and we’d never find you and that would be my fault. For chasing El away, for getting rid of the chance to find you.”

Will stared at Mike’s face, mouth half open.

“I don’t even remember jumping, Will.” Mike said in a broken voice. “I just remember thinking you were gonna die, and then the water was coming up to my face.”

Will let out a short, rough breath and grabbed Mike’s face. He kissed him quickly, so quickly that he pulled back before Mike even seemed to have reacted to what had happened.

“I’m right here.” Will said, tears in his eyes. “I’m here because you never gave up on finding me or helping me after you got me back. Okay? So this thoughts, wherever they come from, and whatever they are… we can past them but you have to talk to me. Or El. Or Nancy… somebody… Okay?”

Mike was staring at Will with a dazed expression.

“Okay?” Will pressed him again, squeezing Mike’s shoulders.

“Okay.” Mike breathed out, nodding once. He and Will held eye contact for a long moment before Mike’s nose crinkled up. “Wait. What were saying about Dustin and El?”

Will laughed.

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

Eleven and her curious lack of development

Eleven. El. Jane Ives. Jane Hopper. El Byers. Call her what you will, but El is seen by many as being the main character of Stranger Things. I personally disagree, and I find her character to be too largely unexplored to be compelling, so far at least. It’s a shame, because there is a lot of potential there. We have this young girl who spent her entire life in a lab until she was around 12 years old. She was raised to be a weapon: dangerous and obedient. Then she found friends.

After Season 1, and a bit into Season 2, I thought they were going to develop her character well. She was clueless about the larger world. She didn’t understand social norms, she acted on impulse, she lashed out at authority, and she responded to social interaction with either hesitation or outright fear. Essentially, she showed signs of Reactive Attachment Disorder as a result of her upbringing. She also showed signs of trauma in regards to Brenner specifically, but we haven’t had an opportunity to explore that yet. Somehow, though, she’s able to understand romance?

El’s first introduction to the idea of romantic relationships was in Season 1. She naturally didn’t understand. She lacked the necessary social development. Everything she knows is based off of what Mike tried to explain, and she had a hard time following. This is all also happening during a traumatic time for both of them. El in particular would have a hard time making sense of all the emotions she’s feeling, and Mike probably wouldn’t do too much better. They build an extremely close bond in only a week’s time. She more or less imprinted on him when he took her in after finding her in the woods. She’d do anything to get his approval.  Let’s be honest here. El likes Mike romantically because he’s basically leading her into thinking she does. He’s not really doing it on purpose, but that’s irrelevant. To El, it’s just another fact or rule, and she doesn’t question it. 

At the end of Season 2, and throughout Season 3, El’s problems largely disappear. Everything is Mike, Mike, Mike. It’s not very unusual. Mike represents safety to her. The problem is, they missed every opportunity to expand her character. Any personal or social growth she had after moving in with Hopper ceased. She actually seems possessive and obsessed with Mike. We get hints of that early in Season 2 where we see her watching Mike, and again when she knocks Max off her skateboard because Mike actually smiled at her. Then she rudely ignores Max when the girl tries to introduce herself. Again, nothing terribly unusual for a kid in her situation, but it’s not something to be seen as healthy and moving past it should be part of her character growth. It may have been intentional. Hopper’s not exactly a therapist, counselor, or teacher, and he’s way out of practice as a parent.

Season 3 shows that El is largely limited in socialization to Mike visiting her. She’s still not allowed out in public, and she’s not shown interacting with any of her other friends. She seems more than happy to leave her friends to go make out with Mike. She hasn’t grown in the 7 months or so since the Snow Ball. This would be ok if her arc this season was about growing past that. It looks like she might. She goes and spends time with Max, for what seems like the first time, and they become friends. Max urges her to “try things on” to find out what she likes, and this should be a jarring line. El literally admits she has no idea how to tell if she likes something. She’s never considered anything beyond what she was told, be it by Brenner, Mike, Hopper, or, now, Max. Taking Max’s advice, she dumps Mike, and she seems pretty happy afterwards.

This is where what could have been good gets ruined. This should have been about her starting to learn that what other people think is good for her isn’t necessarily what is good for her. Instead, what we get is a clumsy and awkward arc that results in her clinging to Mike again. In fact, nothing really seemed to change in their relationship at all. Mike awkwardly tried to get her back. Despite the time they’ve supposedly spent together, they can’t even have a normal conversation. El holds her ground, but then the danger hits and Mike shows his usual bravery as he tries to help her. She becomes dependent on him for safety and comfort again. Then three months later we get the awkward kiss and “I love you” that is so off that it seems like they hadn’t been a couple in the three months since the mall incident. Now she’s saying I love you right before she leaves. She’s clinging right back to Mike because that’s how she feels safe and secure.

In a Season where we could have finally seen El interact with other characters and grow, we get none of that. She has almost nothing with Hopper except the awkward attempts to curb their making out, no interactions with Joyce, none with Will, none with Dustin or Lucas. She’s in the room with them, and there is eye contact, but no real interactions. Was this done intentionally to set up something next season, or are we supposed to accept that this is her character? This socially and emotionally deprived child is somehow mature enough to develop a healthy romantic relationship? I have a lot of trouble believing that the Duffers and their writing team consider this good character development in and of itself.

I risk angering a lot of fans, particularly young teens, but Mike and El are bad for each other, at least as a couple. Their relationship is obsessive and possessive in nature, resulting in the deterioration of their other relationships. It’s a sort of an extreme example of infatuations that are typical of that age. They can be intense, but lack any emotional depth and eventually fail. El’s growth could still be salvaged though. She’s now moving away from Mike. She’s going to have to learn to live without him, and that could provide an avenue for her to realize that she hasn’t loved him so much as needed him. 

My apologies to the fans, but Mileven is toxic. It’s bad for both characters, at least as it stands now. Season 3 actually showed them both better after the breakup. They treated each other as a security blanket when together. It’s “I love you because I need you” rather than “I need you because I love you.” It’s not impossible for them to grow into something healthier, but Season 3 did not suggest such a story arc. We’ll have to wait and see what Season 4 has in store, but I hope it allows El to move towards becoming a fully actualized young lady, rather than being reliant on Mike, especially now that she lacks powers.

[clericbyers]

The funny thing about RR!St3 (and yes I'm still talking about this) is that its technically your au so if u don't like stuff about season 3-and maybe that's like everything lmao- than you can change it for this au!!! so what're some things you could change to flex on the duffers with ur beautiful Galaxy brain?

oh ur so right….oh man OH MAN the power in my hands right now…this is super long but i got so into it okay thank u…

First off, my real vision for RR!ST3 would not be too close to how ST3 went down; the RR!ST3 I originally hashed out was me trying to stick close to ST3 but as I said then, it was hard bc many of the issues in ST3 wouldn’t happen if Mike wasn’t obsessed with El and if we actually address the fact that these kids are dealing with serious trauma from the events of ST2. In RR!ST2, Mike would be the one dealing with being possessed, Will would have been at his side the entire time, Nancy and Mike would be a lot tighter thanks to RR!ST1 (like she’d be very overprotective because she almost lost her brother and he’s annoying yeah but she can’t imagine not having him in her life anymore). So when RR!ST2 ends with the Snowball, I can see Mike still dancing with El when she returns because he needs to thank her, she saved his life after all, but I really. just cannot see his level of attachment being enough to try to date her. Because in ST1 and at the beginning of ST2, Mike is wracked with guilt about losing her, about bonding with her and ultimately her being a sacrifice to save them. He doesn’t have that in RR!ST1 and RR!ST2, at least not to the same degree as ST1 and ST2. He didn’t have the time to bond to El and while I think he might have fleeting feelings for his savior (like I said, nightingale effect) and have some guilt about how she seemingly gave up her life to save everyone, especially him, I also think RR!ST2 Mike would be very attached to Will though given how Will trusted him and stuck by him despite all the horrors. Mike takes loyalty very seriously and Will being with Nancy and Karen (as she would be the “crazy” mom who lost her son in RR!ST1, but she’d enlist Joyce’s help since Ted wouldn’t really care so it would be power duo Joyren trying to figure out where Mike is) in the RR!ST2 shed scene would mean a lot to him.

Now, we have those 8 months between ST2 and ST3 where basically Mike and El entered a relationship in ‘85. In that time frame in the RR au, I would focus more on how the Party is getting over the trauma they faced during RR!ST2. Firstly, Mike is definitely not okay after being possessed by a demonic godly shadow force. He’s in therapy again maybe, back on medications, IDK what exactly but he is broken inside but trying his best to act like everything is normal and he wasn’t just possessed. I think he would try to cling onto his childhood as Will did in ST3, because Mike didn’t get to grow up normal since he got kidnapped and possessed by monsters. Will and El would bond a lot in those 8 months though, definitely becoming closer siblings and El having a crush on Mike can still a thing. Mike might not feel that same way for her but he’d be down for dating if just to feel normal again. Part of that may be to continue dampening how he feels for Will because he just wants to be a regular kid again and what he feels for his best friend is not at all natural in his mind. I like the idea of Mike and El getting together in ST3 at the mall scene so I’d stick with that. But I also feel like Mike would definitely also be spending half the time subconsciously trying to stay away from El because she’s also a reminder of the horrors he faced in the UD and with the Mind Flayer.

There would be a lot of Will, El, Mike moments too! Will is her brother of sorts in the RR au and Hopper is only ever really comfortable with Mike coming to visit when Will is over, too, even before Mike agrees to date El.

So okay, Episode 1 of RR!ST3 deals with the fact that all the kids are still dealing with some sort of trauma. Mike wakes up from a nightmare, uses his walkie talkie to contact Will, and Will comes over and sits in his room with him and they chat for a bit until Mike can fall back asleep. Will sits at the foot of Mike’s bed watching him sleep before he sneaks back out the house. Nancy catches him and thanks him for stopping by and then he catches Lucas outside too while making his way back home. Lucas casually mentions that he couldn’t sleep and they chat about how weird things have been when no one in Hawkins knows what happened last fall. In the early afternoon the next day, Will bikes over to Hopper’s cabin to hang out with El, they listen to music and doodle together for hours, just being great friends. El casually mentions that she might have a bit of a crush on Mike (who comes with Dustin, Lucas, and El to visit sometimes because fuck ST3 and isolating El from the Party). This could be a moment for Will to be like, “Oh, me, too.” and they can bond over liking Mike together (that’d be cute af!! and it would help Will feel more comfortable about how he feels toward Mike when he’s able to talk about it without persecution). She asks him if Mike likes him back and Will kinda just stops doodling.

“I don’t know,” he murmurs hoarsely. “He’s never said anything.”

El hums and takes out a purple crayon to color in the grass. “Do you know if he likes me?”

Will says he doesn’t know but that he’ll figure it out for her. Hopper won’t let her come with Will to the movie that night so he promises one night he’ll help sneak her out and then bikes over to the theater. We have the ST3 theater scene but it’s reversed of course, so it’s Mike who feels the Mind Flayer and Will who asks him if he’s okay. Mike isn’t as shy and flustered as Will was in ST3 though, he tries to brush Will off petulantly (as RR!ST3 Mike tries his best to act like the events of RR!ST2 aren’t affecting him as much as it is) but Will takes his hand and says, “It’s okay to not be okay.” and Mike kinda fidgets but squeezes his hand in turn before they both go back to watching the movie.

The next day when Dustin comes back, we have the Party going up to Cerebro but there would not be any El and Mike leaving like in ST3. Instead, Will and El are whispering between themselves but it’s not really much about anything. El is too shy to ask Mike if he wants to sit with her as they listen to Dustin call his girlfriend and Will just wants her to feel comfortable near Mike and keeps pestering for her to just sit next to him. Mike is irritated because he wanted to hang with Will more today and he’s bonding with El. His powers activate from his irritation and he’s blocking the radio signal for Dustin and Suzie’s call. When it starts getting late, the Party splits up, Will and El leaving first because of curfew (a real one not the lie El told in ST3). Lucas and Max leave next and Mike is left solo with Dustin.

“I know that Will and El aren’t together, but god, I feel so childish being the single one out.” Mike complains as a chill breeze washes over the two of them.

Dustin hums distractedly, still trying to work out why Cerebro isn’t picking up Suzie’s channel. It takes a moment for Mike’s words to sink in and then he perks. “You know, El likes you.”

“She what?” Mike blurts, giving Dustin a look. “No, she doesn’t. She can’t.”

“Uh, but she can and she does.” Dustin turns a random knob to a different frequency. “It’s pretty obvious; she was sending you heart eyes this entire time if your oblivious ass would have realized.”

Mike isn’t sure how to feel about it. He’s always seen El as Will’s sister, especially with Hopper attempting (and kinda failing) at dating Joyce. Even when they danced at Snowball, it was a thing of gratitude, of joy, of acknowledging that she hadn’t died and he was happy about that. But, El actually liking him? “What am I supposed to do about that?”

“Do you like her?”

Mike scrunches his nose. He feels…something toward her but he’s not really sure what it is. It’s not the same way he feels toward Nancy but it’s not what he felt toward Max either. And it’s definitely not what he feels toward Will, but he doesn’t want to think about that right now. He wants to feel normal. “I’m not sure.”

“Well, if it’s not a solid no, then I’d say go for it.” Dustin adjusts his hat and leans back with a sigh. “She’s cute and I think this is the first time a cute girl has ever liked your nerdy ass.”

“Shut up,” laughs Mike and he nudges his friend who grins in turn. He looks up at the sky and sighs. “I should probably get back home before my mom goes nuts. Talk to you later, yeah?”

“I’m leaving, too,” he sighs as he stands up. “I don’t know why this isn’t working. Maybe the clouds are too overcast.”

Mike shrugs and flicks at the radio’s antenna. It buzzes erratically, static blasting through Dustin’s headphones and then suddenly there’s a voice coming through the noise. It’s a blend of things, like the receiver is caught between two frequencies. One is Suzie, the other is some spoken code (in English because the random inclusion of the Russians works for Red Scare era / anti-Russia 80′s America but like…it had no set up so I wouldn’t use it for RR!ST3) that neither Mike nor Dustin can understand. Dustin tries to fix the frequency channels to focus on Suzie, but he looses her and the input only focuses on the frequency the code is on. Mike touches the antenna again, holding on this time around, and he can literally feel the electric currents coursing through him, something sharper than a tickle but not as harsh as actual electrocution. The dials on the receiver interface start wavering about randomly and crazily until Mike lets go and then there’s only static again.

“What the,” Dustin mutters, bending down to check how Cerebro is working. “What did you do?”

Mike stares down at his hands, a panic attack on the edge of his senses because, seriously, what the hell was that? First having flashbacks in the theater and feeling that shocking tingling sensation on their way up the hill, now this? “I…I don’t know.”

Dustin taps at a dial and frowns. “Touch it again. Like hold onto it as you did earlier.” Mike does as told and the dials go nuts again. “Mike…do you…have you had any issues near electrical appliances recently?”

Mike scowls and tries to remember if anything odd has happened recently. “No? Not really. Sometimes the radio in my mom’s car doesn’t work and the TV gets a little staticy but that’s normal. Oh, and we had flickering lights out at the cabin when Will, Lucas, and I visited but it’s a cabin in the woods so what do you expect.”

Dustin bites at his bottom lip. “And this only happens when you’re around?”

“I, uh,” Mike grabs at his hair, “No, no, it doesn’t. It doesn’t. It can’t…I’m not, what…I thought that was the Upside Down only.”

“What do you mean?”

“I could touch the lights and the TV when I was in the Upside Down version of the basement. And when I touched them, everything glowed. Kind of like casting Daylight in D&D.” Mike struggles to find his breath; he never really talks about what it was like in the Upside Down. “And…and I knew, I knew where the demogorgon was before I should have. Like innate. And the dead people…”

“Detect Evil?” Dustin suggests, cocking his head to the side. “Mike, do you think any of that stuck with you here?”

[ So basically, the equivalent of “magic” in D&D is electricity in the real world / the Upside Down since electricity and tech is kinda like modern magic, and all of Mike’s powers in the Upside Down are, in theory, paladin spells. He couldn’t control which lights flickered on like Will did in ST1 but he can turn them on and he can create a beacon, along with talking to the dead and having an innate circle of protection around him (a magic circle as paladins can have!) ]

Mike goes back home totally freaked out and refusing to believe he has “powers” because his time in the UD felt like such a nightmare anyway. He just wanted to survive, he didn’t ask for this, he didn’t ask for the Mind Flayer to possess him and use his body to kill people, to almost destroy Hawkins in the process. And that night, Mike decides he absolutely cannot let these possible powers do anything or mean anything because he’s normal, he’s a normal 14-year-old boy who is absolutely not crushing on his very male best friend, no, he’s gonna get a girlfriend, and hang out at the mall like kids do over the summer, and everything is going to be fine.

The next day, Will doesn’t go over to El’s place to hang out, Mike picks up the phone and says a dumb lie about Will being busy to try to get out of it. (“Friends don’t lie,” says El afterwards. “But brothers do.” snorts Max, “All. The. Time.”) He’s frustrated by El wanting to spend time with Will one-on-one when he’s trying to get the og4 Party members together for some normal hangout time playing D&D because, again, Mike here is the one trying to cling onto his childhood, even more now that he might have “powers”. They play D&D with Mike as DM and it all goes well until Karen comes downstairs asking about magnets and Mike internally freaks out. He’s been feeling like someone is watching him for a while now (hint: El when spying on the boys in the Void) and now his mom is talking about something that could very well be his powers working. Dustin knows and can actually see it, so he suggests everyone should get some fresh air and hang out at the mall. The Party goes out shopping, they hang out at Scoops Ahoy and Mike and Dustin share their story about the radio last night but purposefully leave out details about what Mike did with the antenna. Will feels guilty for lying so he’s trying to find some new clothes so El isn’t always wearing Hopper’s hand-me-downs, and they run into Max and El outside.

“Well, well, well,” Max huffs as she crosses her arms. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

Will is worried because El leaving the house and being at the mall of all places would definitely make Hopper upset. “Are you okay?” he asks her, careful not to sound too overbearing. “Does Hopper know you’re here?”

El shrugs. “I told him I was seeing Max. And I am.” She turns to Mike. “You said Will couldn’t come over yet you are shopping. Why did you lie?”

Mike, who has spent practically the whole time at the mall on pins and needles, is really not in the mood for being questioned like this. “It just came out. I wanted to hang with the boys, okay? Just us. Like old days.”

El frowns. “Do you not like me?”

“No! No, I really like you!” Mike softens up and gives her a smile. “Honest; friends don’t lie, right? I’m sorry I lied to you. Today’s been…weird.” Dustin huffs at that. “Don’t worry about it though, I genuinely like you.”

And Mike doesn’t mean it that way–he had just said ‘friends don’t lie’ because he really does see her as a friend–but El takes it that way, and she grins widely, blushing as she ducks her head. “I like you, too, Mike.”

Will didn’t even think Mike liked El that way but now that it’s spoken in front of him, he can feel his heart breaking just a bit because any chance he thought he had is gone in his mind. El steps into Mike’s space and he blinks a couple times. “I want to go out with you.”

Dustin gasps, Lucas covers his mouth, Will tries his best not to look dejected, and Max whoops at her side. Mike turns to Will, who is staring at his feet, and then looks back at El. (A parallel to Snowball when Will looked at Mike for approval before going to dance with Zombie Boy girl.) Mike told himself he was gonna get a girlfriend and be normal, right? Ignore whatever happens in his chest when Will smiles at him. Ignore all of that and his stupid powers and be normal. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. Let’s go out.”

So the Party stays at the mall a little longer and Mike and El hang out together and get ice cream at Scoops’ Ahoy, which is amusing to Steve and Robin both. At the end, they go back to the Wheelers and El has to go back to the cabin but Mike is kind of in a daze because wow, he just got a girlfriend for the first time and went on a date with her. Dustin keeps teasing him, Lucas is cackling and making kissing jokes, but Will…Will is oddly silent at first. They get back on the campaign but no one can really concentrate and Will starts getting concerned about El and how she was out and about without Hopper’s knowledge. Mike is even more frustrated now because he thought things were going to start getting normal now, but it just seems to be falling apart. Will won’t even concentrate on the campaign, Dustin is horrible at trying to be subtle about if Mike’s powers are activating, and Lucas is complaining with Will about how Max and El are hanging out.

Mike lashes out and storms outside, where Will goes after him. “Mike, I’m sorry, it’s a really good campaign,” Will starts with a hand to Mike’s shoulder, “but I’m worried about El and I just…I can’t concentrate right now. We can play it tomorrow, I promise.”

Mike yanks himself away from Will. “Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, it’s always tomorrow! I said ‘see you tomorrow’ before and then I never did! Tomorrow may never fucking come! But oh, that doesn’t matter, huh? Tomorrow always comes for you. Tomorrow is always gonna be better.”

“Mike,”

“No!” he yells and lightening crackles in the distance. “No, you don’t get to say anything! You keep spending time with El, forgetting about all of us! I’m her boyfriend now and I’m not even this obsessed with her whereabouts.” He waves at Will, who scowls. “She’s not even really your sister and you’re letting her just ruining the party like this? And for what? So you can have a fake younger sister to hole up in her room all day?”

Will’s nostrils flare. “El is my sister whether you like it or not!” He snaps back with irritation. “It’s not my fault you don’t like El!”

Mike pauses, eyes widening just a fraction as his breath visibly hitches. No one was supposed to know that he wasn’t even sure how he felt…Dustin himself had come to the conclusion that Mike knew he liked El all along. Will though wants to take it back immediately. Taking out his anger onto Mike isn’t fair at all and just because Mike suddenly has a girlfriend doesn’t mean he should try to accuse Mike of not liking her. But he can’t help but question either way because Mike barely alluded to seeing her that way anyway.

“Look, I’m…I’m sorry, that came out wrong. So wrong.” He steps toward Mike, who tenses up more. “I know you like El, okay? I know you care about her. I care about her, too, just differently. She helped save you and the Party, how can I not care? That type of care has been with me for months. I can’t shut that off. I’m sorry.”

Mike’s breathing is getting denser and his vision is getting blurry because now he knows. Now he knows how he feels and he really fucked up saying yes to dating El. He doesn’t like her like Nancy and he doesn’t like her like Max either. He especially doesn’t like her like a boyfriend. “I like El like how you like her.”

“Mike?” Will’s voice is soft and shaking a little and Mike feels like throwing up.

“El saved me,” he whispers, “She saved me and I like her for that. I do. But she’s not…”

“She’s not what?”

Mike is crying now, angry tears dripping down his face like the rain as his voice crackles like the thunder. “She’s not you! I thought she would be enough and maybe I was wrong for it but it hasn’t even been a full day and I already know! I already know I don’t like her like that because I like you!”

There’s nothing but the patter of rain and Mike’s heavy breathing, and Mike can already feel his heart breaking because he spent so long trying to deny this and now he blurted it out in the midst of an argument like a dumbass and now Will is going to hate him. Hate him for not being normal, hate Mike for being what Lonnie always said he was. He’s crying still, hands shaking at his side as the tears continue to spill.

Will looks up at him with widened eyes and Mike can’t take it any longer. He can’t face the inevitable rejection right now. “I need to go.”

“Mike, wait, no! Mike!” Will rushes toward him but Mike’s already on his bike and riding through the rain. “Mike! Mike, come back!”

When Mike doesn’t turn back, Will rushes downstairs, tears streaming down his face as well and he can barely get his words out. “We need to find Mike, we need to find him now!”

“Will, what happened?” Lucas asks but Will grabs his jacket instead of replying.

“We need to go, now.” the brunette is shaking and Dustin puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Seriously, Will, what happened? Is he okay? Is he hurt?”

“Yes, yes, oh my god,” Will collapses on the stairs before he can finish climbing them. “Oh my god, he confessed to me.”

“Confessed what? His powers?”

Will blinks a few times and looks up at Dustin as he rubs at his runny nose. “His what? Powers?”

Dustin freezes. “Oh. I, uh, I thought…oh…oh. Mike likes you?”

Will waves a passing hand. “Pause, what is this about Mike’s powers?”

Lucas speaks up with irritation. “I thought you said we need to go!”

So all the boys get on their bikes and ride toward the Byers house since that’s where Mike would go when his nightmares got bad enough and it’s a safe place for him outside of the basement. Dustin explains what Mike had done with Cerbero and how they caught this code that he had been sort of hashing out with Steve and Robin when they went to the mall. No one is home at the Byers residence (Joyce and Karen are out with Hopper doing their whole side storyline there) and Will starts to freak out more.

“Where would he be, where would he be?”

Lucas crosses his arms. “Maybe the cabin? That’s where his girlfriend is after all.”

And that’s not where Mike is, he’s actually with Steve and Robin at the mall given he feels he’d be better off with someone who understands the UD/MF mess (Steve) and someone who doesn’t know the Party dynamics (Robin). He’s just about to tell Robin about his confession to Will when he feels the Mind Flayer and knows that he’s back.

The rest of the season is kinda…the same ish but also not?? But so I don’t write out the whole damn thing now lmao here are the pointers:

El and Mike are still trying to be girlfriend and boyfriend when they reunite at the cabin (Scoops Troop is a thing but it’s not tied to the Russian bs so they aren’t at the mall the entire time) but Mike is also really uncomfortable with El’s advances though he tries not to act like it.

Mike avoids Will as best he can even though Will keeps trying to get one-on-one time with Mike to confess that he likes him back

Jonathan and Nancy team up at the cabin too with news about the exploding rats (the MF’s attempt to possess non humans that went wrong) and Mike speaks up about how he might have powers himself

El tries to teach him how to go into the Void (which would be like a prayer for him) but when he does so, he ends up running into the Mind Flayer and find out that it’s after him and is willing to kill all his friends to get to him

Mike and El both pull out of the Void together gasping and crying and Will is immediately at Mike’s side as Max rushes to El. “He’s going to kill us,” Mike sobs shakily, “He’s going to kill us all.”

El gets attacked by the Mind Flayer (not Meat Flayer) because it was coming for Mike and she intercepted the transmission using her mind

At the hospital Mike breaks up with El (instead of how in ST3 they became friends again), and she’s a little hurt but understanding when he confesses that he likes someone more than her and doesn’t want to hurt her by lying to her constantly when dating her

Will finally gets Mike to himself here and is about to confess but then Mike feels the Mind Flayer (his innate sense evil power) and it’s possessed someone. He confronts it, helps save Nancy from the shapeshifting demogorgon attacking her, and banishes it from this dimension, only to pass out from the effort

El takes over with her powers and with Mike’s help, accesses the radio to find the channel that Dustin and Mike had found before. She discovers that someone is trying to open the gate again under the mall

At the supermarket, Will and Mike finally get to talk and Will confesses that he likes Mike, too. “Blank makes you crazy, right?” Mike chuckles as he takes Will’s hand in his own. He’s not willing to say love yet even if he knows it’s true. He knows that Will understands him though. Will always does.

“Yeah,” the boy replies sweetly, “blank makes you crazy.”

Cue an almost kiss before Lucas and Dustin come around with the fireworks and they all get over to the mall

Big battle against the Mind Flayer and the people it possessed. Instead of a giant gory meat machine, it possesses people in Hawkins like it did Mike in RR!ST2 and uses them to shapeshift them into individual monsters. So the Party is attacked by a horde of demogorgons and demodogs!!

The fireworks help a lot as Lucas suggested, and Mike and El work together as superpowered besties to banish the Mind Flayer from all the neighbors. Some die in the process (because it’s just, brutal and violent and horrible) and Mike gets temporarily repossessed in the battle but he’s more leveled up now and understands how this works, so he can banish the MF from him (a level 4 paladin spell might I add!) as much as El used her powers to take out the piece of the meat machine in her leg in ST3

Hopper closes the gate but not in enough time (we need him in the Upside Down for RR!ST4) and then the Mind Flayer retreats, but it kills all the people it had possessed in the process, which only wrecks the kids with guilt for being unable to save everyone like they almost did

This also frightens Mike who has been possessed by the Mind Flayer because it means his connection is still strong enough that the Mind Flayer could kill him instantly too (but it won’t bc Mike and El’s powers are too strong and it could possibly kill itself trying to kill them through that connection)

At the end there’s no one really moving away. El has lost her powers, Mike’s are nearly depleted / he doesn’t know how to use them without El’s help. Everyone is mourning Hopper and with El and Mike unable to use their powers, they can’t go into the Void to see that Hopper’s actually alive.

uhhh the epilogue is the first day of high school and the Party are hopping off their bikes and chatting about something nonsensical. Lucas and Max are holding hands, Dustin is waving his arms about wildly as he explains his latest science project, and Mike and Will are standing close together, just enough to brush their fingers together. (El is homeschooled since she needs to catch up on her education)

“You okay?” Will asks quietly as they stand off to the side away from the bustling crowds. “It’s okay to not be okay.”

“I know,” Mike grins down at his boyfriend, which is still so blush inducing to think about, so he blushes. “But, I’m fine. I’ve got you right beside me so I’m definitely okay.”

[screensirenfic]

Black Leather - Chapter 39

What happened next was so fast, I barely had time to register it.

Steve was on the floor; Billy throwing punch after punch down on him as he forced him to fall further into unconsciousness.

I was standing shell shocked, shotgun limp in my hand at my side, because after all this time; I still couldn’t do it.

I still couldn’t shoot Billy.

Then out of nowhere, Max sprang to action, snatching up a needle of Will’s sedative from a side table, and plunging it into Billy’s neck without a seconds hesitation.

Billy’s head spun to see what happened; his hand rising to pull the syringe from his neck.

“The hell is this?” He asked; already breathless and slurred, although I couldn’t tell if it was kicking in already, or it was just exhaustion.

He rose unsteadily to his feet; all thoughts of Steve abandoned in favour of confronting Max, only to stumble on the first step.

“Max— what— the— hell’s— ths—“ He slurred, only for him to fall to his knees, before collapsing on his back on the floor.

His eyes began to flutter; his consciousness fading, and I could feel my stomach clenching; guilt and fear and worry bringing nausea bubbling in my throat.

Max had no such reservations, snatching up Steve’s forgotten nailbat and wielding it over Billy’s limp form.

“From here on out; you’re gonna leave me and my friends alone. Do you understand?” She ordered; the same wild look in her eyes that he had just five minutes ago.

“Screw... you.” Billy managed to slur from the floor; the curse sounding weak compared to his usual profanity.

Max swung the bat, embedding the sharp nails in the floor inches away from Billy’s crotch.

“SAY IT!!! SAY IT!!!” She screamed, and it scared me how much she sounded like him.

“O—Kay” Billy mumbled his eyes struggling to focus on the very implement that nearly ended his womanising ways for good.

“I couldn’t hear you...” She continued; wrenching the bat from the floor to wield as a threat again.

“I... I under— understand.” He slurred; his eyes barely staying open.

“What?!”

“I... understand...” He managed to repeat, before falling unconscious completely; his eyes falling closed.

Max dropped the bat to the floor; exhaling with relief as if she didn’t know she had that in her in the first place.

To be honest; no one did, the shared mood of astonishment and perhaps even approval still buzzing in the air.

Not me though.

I was still frozen solid; my hands shaking uncontrollably at my sides as I found myself unable to tear my eyes away from the unconscious blonde on the floor.

Then I heard a groan; my eyes shooting across to a still knocked out Steve laid out flat on the floor.

“Shit!” I cursed, throwing my shotgun to the floor, before rushing over to him, falling to my knees at his side.

“Steve... Steve; wake up—“ I pleaded; my hands reaching up to grab his bloodied cheeks, fingers stroking blood slicked hair away from his face.

“Steve; come on. You can wake up...” I continued to beg; hands shaking as they stained red with his blood, tears starting to fall down my cheeks.

———————————————————

He didn’t wake up.

He didn’t wake up; goddamnit!

But I could still see him breathing through the rise and fall of his chest; the gentle sighs and moans of pain as we attempted to carry him to Billy’s Camaro.

Max had wasted no time in snatching up his keys from his jacket and beckoning us out the front door.

We may be one man down, but my dad and El still needed us, and one close call tonight was already enough.

We’d piled into the car; me having done a slapdash first aid job on Steve’s injuries, which mostly consisted of cleaning away the blood and some micropore tape.

I probably should’ve insisted I drove, but my nerves were honestly too frayed to have to refresh myself with gear shifts, and really; I just wanted to be with Steve.

I knew he was gonna be alright; that he was just pretty beaten up and he’d heal, but I felt guilty.

Maybe if I hadn’t of been there, Billy wouldn’t have taken it so hard on him…

Maybe if I’d just shut my mouth and did what Billy asked; this never would’v—

No; I couldn’t be thinking like that.

Billy was a manipulative, controlling asshole, and he’d hurt Steve, and goddamnit!

Why did the idiot have to be so fucking noble?!

Couldn’t he have just let me take my beating like a man just this once?!

“Mhmmm— Lo—Lola”

I could feel him stirring against my leg; the position probably a little more incriminating than preferable, but it was the only way we could keep him suitably horizontal in the car without risk of further head injuries.

His cheek was pressed to the inside of my thigh; a thin trail of drool spilling out of his mouth and onto my leg, but I didn’t care; I’d just tease him about it later if he got better…

When he got better.

“It’s okay; Steve. I’m right here…” I cooed, gently threading my fingers through his thick hair, and trying to ignore the sticky sensation of the blood that clotted there.

He moved his head, nuzzling further into my thigh as one hand reached up to meet my own, fingering at the deep gash Billy had left there.

“Lo—“ He groaned, shifting to sit up a little more on the Camaro floor.

“Shhh, shhh.” I soothed; my hands reaching down to brace him as he moved to sit more firmly against the cushion go my seat.

“Take it easy, buddy. You took quite the ass kicking back there.” Advised Dustin from the seat next to me; a can of gasoline sloshing in his lap.

“What— What happened?” Steve mumbled, rubbing his hand insistently at the back of his head, only to pull it away and find it bloody.

“It’s okay; Steve. Just keep still.” I comforted him, gently stroking his hair in a bid to get him to relax.

He really didn’t need to see that there was a thirteen year old behind the wheel; let alone that she couldn’t reach the pedals without duck taping books to them.

Steve panicked enough without the added stress of a head injury, and I really needed to keep him calm if we had any hope of seeing this plan through.

“Okay, you're gonna keep straight for half a mile or so, then take a left on Mount Sinai…” Lucas instructed Max from the front passenger seat, and already I knew all hopes of it going unnoticed was lost.

Steve’s eyes shot to the two preteens sat in the front of the car, one of which was driving it with the same sort of tense hesitation that came when you went out on the open road for the first time.

“Don’t worry. She’s driven before—“ Assured Dustin, but to Steve it must’ve seemed anything but reassuring.

“In the parking lot…” Mike unnecessarily added; still not over the fact that despite my apparent panic, I still hadn’t let him drive.

“That counts—“ Lucas countered, taking his eyes off the spread map of Hawkins in his hands.

“Oh my God—“ Steve groaned, reality dawning upon him and panic setting in.

“Steve—“ I warned; really not needing him to freak out right now, when Max was stressed enough as it is.

“They wanted to leave you behind — But me and Lola said you’d be cool—“ Dustin tried to explain, but only succeeded in winding Steve up further.

“Oh my God!” Steve openly panicked on the floor of the backseat; his position and the bumps in the road leaving him unable to do anything but complain.

“Steve—“ I tried to get his attention again, but it really was no use when he was in full blown panic mode

“Stop!!— stop the car; STOP THE CAR!!” Steve yelled, struggling as if to stand, but clearly being unable to in the moving vehicle.

“I told you he’d freak out—!” Whined Mike; his attitude really not helping in the situation.

“Steve; calm down—“ I instructed; more firm this time, because the last thing we needed was Max to crash the car because of his screaming.

“STOP THE CAR!” Steve continued to yell; all thoughts of calm abandoned in the face of sheer panic.

“WOULD EVERYONE SHUT UP I'M TRYING TO FOCUS!!” Yelled Max, taking her eyes off the road for a second to glare back at us.

“That’s Mount Sinai—“ Interrupted Lucas, drawing all our attentions back to the front of the car.

“What—?”

“Turn left — LEFT!!” Yelled Lucas, just as we were about to miss the turning.

Max spun the wheel to a hard left; the tires squealing as the car fishtailed into the turning, whipping wildly from side to side.

My stomach lurched, and I could hear Steve screaming as we drove straight through a mailbox, before swerving back onto the road.

——————————————————

It didn’t take long for us to reach the pumpkin patch; Max’s driving, reckless but fast, much like her brothers.

She revved the car into the near barren field, driving straight over the “Pick Your Own Pumpkin” sign, before emergency braking to a halt mere metres from my dad’s tunnel.

She turned the engine off and we all breathed a collective sigh of relief, pleased to finally be stationary after what had been a hair raising ride.

Well; all of us, except Steve, who currently looked like he was gonna upchuck all over the Camaro’s upholstery.

“Whoa!!” Exclaimed Dustin; an exhilarated smile on his face.

“That was—‘ Began Lucas with that same thrilled grin, only to be interrupted by Steve flinging open the passenger door and racing outside.

BLURGHHH!

Steve puked all over the dirt outside, falling to his knees as he hurled up what must’ve been what’s left of this morning’s breakfast.

I climbed out of the car after him, reaching his side to put a steadying hand on his shoulder as he continued to heave and retch over his pool of vomit.

When I was sure nothing more would come up, I reached into my pocket, pulling what I was thankful was an unsoiled grease rag and handing it to him.

“Thanks…” He mumbled, wiping his face with the rag, before going to hand it back.

“Uhh… you can keep it—“ I declined, and I meant it!

There was no way I was taking Steve’s vomit home with me; no matter how many times he saved my ass.

I offered him a hand and he took it, before pulling him to his feet with a mighty heave.

He smiled at me; one of those grateful closed-lip smiled that made me melt inside.

I was so fucking thankful he was okay.

If something had happened, and it was my fault; I honestly don’t know what I’d—

“We should probably get back to the kids… Make sure they stay out of trouble…” He said, jolting my attention back to the mission at hand.

Gratitude could wait until later. We had rugrats to wrangle.