#wow this got emotional

[gotta-pet-em-all]

Hiya! Your intro says you like media analysis so I was wondering - watched/read/listened to/etc anything good lately? And/or got any recommendations? (OOC: this is freeform, answer it however floats your boat! Or if it doesn't float your boat, absolutely no worries, you can delete it! /gen)

Ough, that's a good one!

Since the delcatty's out of the bag, I guess I can be more open about how Plasma affected me. Since I was taken in so young, I didn't have much opportunity to learn how to think for myself, and I struggled with bodily awareness and identifying my own emotions. But... stories helped me realize how to feel again. I would use warrior skitty comparisons to try and contextualize my own feelings at first, but it wasn't enough.

Media analysis started as a project my therapist gave me, since I was getting frustrated with my inability to identify my own emotions, and our sessions were sort of hitting a plateau. Which is to say, they asked me how my day was, I yelled that I didn't know and started crying, and I'd spend the rest of the session on the couch snuggling my therapist's vulpix. (Baby Fluff was not very emotionally stable lol)

So I started looking for stories. I got a bit into vocaloid-- a couple favorites of mine are the medical anomaly, rolling girl, irony, yellow, and good kid medicine. It gave me words for what I was feeling, proof I wasn't the only one to feel these things. Suddenly I wasn't alone, I wasn't crazy or exaggerating, I had songs that spoke to me. Someone else out there knew what I was feeling and said it better than I could.

Hatsune Miku got me through some rough times, y'know? And the warrior skitty AMVs-- gods, that made up the rest of my music taste. I was never very good at art, except maybe in trying to copy the anatomy drawings because I was bored, but there were incredibly talented people out there. They told brand new stories, or put a twist on existing ones. I never knew there were so many stories out there!

And then there was anime. I couldn't handle anything with fanservice-- bear in mind at that point, I hadn't yet had The Talk, I just knew it made me uncomfortable. So I mostly watched kid's shows, and there was one magical girl show that looked cute.

It was, ah. Madoka Magica, if you're familiar with it. But the grief and hopelessness, the way the girls try to cope with pain and being fundamentally unsuited for something, the loneliness... and later, it's revealed that one character, who actually looked a lot like me before I cut my hair, had a heart condition and low self-esteem. She felt useless, she...destroyed herself for a chance to save someone who was kind to her. And then the bittersweet ending-- that the world can have love and hope even if it sucks. It made me think... maybe it was okay for me to live. It gave me a lot to think about, and holds a special place in my heart to this day.

I started making progress in therapy again. I'd walk in and say something like, "I think Mami Tomoe probably has a lot of guilt because she survived and her parents didn't" and somehow the conversation would turn to the fact that I wasn't taking painkillers like I was supposed to. And maybe it was because I felt like I didn't deserve it.

Just the weak herbal stuff back then, mind you, because ibuprofen scared the shit out of me, but... sometimes I would talk about a character and realize I was seeing myself through them, talking about myself through them, and I finally had a voice. They gave me a voice. So I want to help their stories be understood in return.

[marciliedonato]

putting croatia and switzerland playing after each other was hilarious like “mama i’m going to waaaaaaaaar” then right after ”i dont wanna go to war” was deadass like germany “i dont feel hate” followed by finland “put your middle fingers up” levels of iconic.... i ❤️ cinematic parallels

[baeshijima]

mmm thoughts of private executioner!blade, who is high priestess!kafka's bodyguard. well, more like her guard dog, as many fearfully seem to think.

he is aloof and gruff and rough around the edges, his name capturing it perfectly. when in the eyes of the public he either keeps to himself or stands ready by kafka's side, but when out he lurks in the shadows ready and waiting to carry out her death orders.

you, yourself, haven't had very many pleasant encounters with him... if you can even call them that. that being said, you haven't had many pleasant encounters with anyone. notorious for your... less than pleasant disposition, for a lack of better words, you have more people who'd rather see you run through than those you can call a friend.

in a dog-eat-dog world, you had no choice but to protect yourself. that, however, ultimately became your demise.

"oh? so you're the one sent to kill me. can't say i'm all that surprised."

standing before you is the feared executioner. his sword is tucked inside the sheath attached to his hip, that ever-present dark swirl of an aura stifling the air. he doesn't say anything, instead opting to silently stare down at your slumped and worn-out form. you find that his gaze doesn't bother you; rather, it's oddly comforting knowing someone will see you in your last moments.

"i've never asked you for a favour before, so this will be my first and last request for you." in all honesty, you're not sure where this chattiness stems from. considering you're currently in a holding cell under the crime of attempted murder towards kafka (a poisoned wine you were most definitely framed for, though you can't say you were surprised) and are awaiting for your turn to be under the guillotine for your public execution, you probably should be a little desperate towards the private executioner in front of you.

and yet, your mind is nothing if not peaceful.

with a huff, you relay your request, "can you make sure it's quick? painless, preferably, but i'd rather you just get it over and done with."

silence blankets the cold chambers. moisture accumulated along the cobble ceiling drip in a steady rhythm, like a clock ticking away the seconds. it's unnerving, almost, how there is not a single sound other than your impending countdown.

"why?" comes his low mutter, effectively causing a ripple within the stagnant air. you almost think you misheard him, but his following words cease the thought, "why won't you ask me for help?"

had it not been for the abrupt shuffle and clanging against the metal bars, you would have never looked up to see him in your last moments.

his scarred hands gripping the metal until his knuckles turn a ghastly white and blood dripping from his palms is what greets your sight. as your gaze slowly trails up, you almost let loose a laugh of disbelief; who would have thought blade, the infamous guard dog of the high priestess, could make such a desperate expression? one looking as though his whole world crumbled before him, in which he can do nothing but sit and watch.

(you will never know of the anger and desperation which coursed through his veins the moment he heard of your predicament. had it been anyone else, he wouldn't have cared. but you're not anyone else; you're you — unapologetically, wholeheartedly. it didn't take him long to hunt down those behind it, cutting them down without thought and putting an end to their miserable lives. he rushed as soon as he could when kafka gave him the order, no thoughts other than you, you, you, occupying his mind.

you will never know of the anguish which overcame him when he found you in such a state, your once healthy complexion and defiant gaze reduced to nothing but a tiredness which had always sat quietly behind your disposition. he's almost positive the muscle which unwillingly keeps him alive tore at the seams from your request, the acceptance in which you displayed causing his mind to go astray. even as he damn-near begs you to rely on him for help — to run away with him to some place no one knows of you and start anew there — you merely smile, resigned and peaceful.

you will never know of how much blade is willing to put on the line for you, for you never made it to see the complete and utter carnage he wrecked in your name.)

[kirbysphotography]

Big Sue <3

Sue at the Field Museum in Chicago.

August 8, 2023

taken on iPhone 14 Pro

[weaveandwood]

Today is the one-year anniversary of BG3 being released, and while I didn't start playing it until the end of March 2024 (and still haven't completed a play through), I am so happy this game exists. Something about this game unlocked so much of my creativity that I had buried so deeply inside me I thought it would never come out again. I hadn't drawn regularly in eight years, I hadn't ever written creatively.

Now? I am drawing almost every day. I have two ongoing longfics. I have a completed fanfic. I have numerous one-shots. I wrote smut for the first time a couple months ago and it turns out I love it and am pretty good at it - I love drawing soft romantic things and writing explicitly dirty things. I contain multitudes!

One of the best and brightest things this game has given me is a community. I have made so many friends through love of this game, that I hope will remain friends long after the popularity of the game has waned and we move on to other things. I have been inspired daily. I remain inspired by every single one of you who puts themselves out there and publishes fanfic, posts their fan art, makes me laugh with screenshots, makes me swoon with videos of your Tavs kissing their love interest. You give me the confidence to do the same. I joked when I first joined this side of Tumblr that I was a Hype Girl and I hope that is what reputation I have. I have always found it difficult to be accepted into spaces, either online or in real life, and that has not been the case here. This community has been so welcoming, so open, so positive for me that I believe I am changed as a person for that.

So thank you to Larian and thank you everyone who worked on BG3. You helped me reclaim part of my identity I thought I had lost and helped me cultivate new facets of myself, and for that I am forever thankful.

[sivsii]

“She was fun-scary!”

(happy c3 anniversary!)

[frownyalfred]

What if bruce had an abusive childhood ( i love thomas and martha but WHAT IF) and the batkids and clark just find out

I actually have lots of thoughts about this, anon. Not abusive in the sense of like, really overt hidden physical abuse, but the abusive-adjacent childhood of someone growing up into a ultra-wealthy family and all of the emotional distance and insane boundary crossing that happens in those kinds of situations.

Some initial thoughts (not that this is canon or even something I hc, but still pop up in my mind):

Distant parents (Bruce never saw them, except for when they were going to events together)

Bruce was raised by nannies and Alfred (first steps, diapers changed, fed and bathed, etc only by servants)

Strict behavioral expectations even in early childhood (language and music lessons, various etiquette courses for dinners, events, etc. Sitting still for long periods of time without moving or speaking)

Being ignored and/or referred to but not allowed to speak. Paraded out for events as a toy, essentially.

Missing out on childhood experiences like playing outside, getting dirty, playing with other children.

Being sent away from home at an early age to various boarding and preparatory schools, year-round.

The pathway to college, a job, a career was purchased for Bruce before he was even born, and there is no room to deviate from that path.

Punished for normal reactions (getting clothes dirty, making a mistake with cutlery, forgetting to ask permission for something)

Approval from his parents, when he does see them, is contingent upon how he performs for them while they are in public.

An absolute lack of almost any physical contact/affection.

If this was Bruce's childhood (I'm glad it wasn't in canon, it sounds awful) then his parents' deaths must be such a mindfuck. Because those memories are so tainted by his childhood upbringing, but at the same time -- were they good people? Beloved by the public? Was the show they put on in public convincing enough for people not to peek behind the curtain? Did Gotham society treat all ultra-wealthy children like this? Were the Waynes special because of their status?

How did Alfred feel about seeing this happen? Was there an awful feeling of relief when Martha and Thomas died, and he became Bruce's custodian? Maybe he snuck Bruce hugs over the years, here and there -- small cookies or permission to run outside once or twice.

Now, there are far fewer rules. But the damage from those rules is hard to undo, even at such a young age. And the first time Bruce asks him for a hug is the day that nearly breaks Alfred.

[keepthetension]

still stuck on porjai, visibly pregnant, flirting with night

who fucking goes for it

i only know the asian culture i grew up in, obviously, and not thai culture. but the social stigma of being unmarried and pregnant? and having the nerve to still be flirting?? that's not the Good Girl thing to do, and i remember the way the Not Good Girls were treated and talked about where i grew up

so porjai actively trying to get dates? night finding out she's pregnant with her ex's kid and just. being fine with that? big deal to me

[lupiinist]

alright, so, i'm writing something and wanted to share my black sisters hcs because i like them so much (and also because i need to so i won't forget it)

first of all, bellatrix is a very good sister. she's a bit unhinged, sure, maybe can get a little violent, yes, but it's alright so long as you don't mess with cissa and andy (or regulus and sirius by extent, but she prenteds she doesn't like them)

they have a thing with nicknames. for everyone, they are bella, cissa, and andy. but for each other, they are trix/trixie, cissy/ciss, and an/mendy. the only other people who get to call them that are their loved ones (sirius, reggie, ted, alice and rita)

narcissa likes jewelry, she has rings, earrings, and necklaces to match with every single one of her clothes, and she can even make her own, she likes to chose gemstones and knows most of them by name (her favorite are emeralds and rubies)

bellatrix is a ballerina, she has so much strength in her body, like, she doesn't look like it, she looks scrawny at first, but she's very strong and flexible, ballet is a thing requires a lot of focus and determination, and for everything that she's chaotic, she has her moments of peace with dancing

andromeda tonks is bisexual. fight me on this one.

i feel like andromeda would also be a lot into fashion, like, just generally, she likes clothes and loves to push gender norms with her clothes, she rocks in dresses, and she rocks in suits, and sometimes she mixes both and guess what? she rocks!!!! (no, but seriously, andromeda tonks in a suit. please.)

the three of them like to gossip, like, a lot. they paint each others nails, bellatrix learned at a young age to do her sisters' hairs, so she does them whenever she gets the chance, and they talk about every bit of gossip they hear

narcissa painted her hair black once because she felt left out from her sisters. next thing she nows, once the paint fades, bella and andy have dyed their hair blond. now they all match

once they all have their lives apart, they still like to hang out when they can. cissa brings draco to his favorite aunts (although he likes pandora a lot too), sometimes bella brings rita when she's not working, and ted likes to pick andromeda up from their meet-ups so he can at least say hello to his in-laws

when they were young, their parents used to fight a lot, and it used to get really loud, so the three of them would get together in bella's room, and she would sing them a song until things got quieter. she's a surprisingly good singer (although narcissa is better)

when andromeda marries ted, bella and cissa walk her down the aisle, one on each side

[robiinurheart33]

Before, when ghost was still Simon and his mom still looked presentable enough to go out in public, she would take him and Tommy out to the pier near their house.

He can still remember; every Friday night after dinner, when his dad passed out in front of the television. The three of them would sneak out of the house and Simon would giggle, pretending as if they were ninjas, holding onto little Tommy’s pudgy body. His mom would buy him a tiny little ice cream cone for each of them and sit at the boardwalks, watching the sun go down for its rest.

“Have you ever heard of the green flash, Simon?” She would hum, green eyes near sparking in the golden hour.

“Nope.” He popped his lips at the last letter, his lips sticky from the dessert.

“Just when the sun sets, there’s a slight moment where at the veeeerrry horizon - there, you see?” She points to where the sun is now meeting the sea, Simon squinting dramatically and placing his hand above his eyes.

“…yeah.”

“Just for a split second, you can’t blink or you’ll miss it. A green flash will appear just after the sun disappears.”

“You’re lying!”

“I’m not! I’m being dead serious!” She straightens her back, an amused smile twitching at the corner of her mouth as she holds a sleeping Tommy to her chest. Simon swings his legs back and forth, contemplating.

“Look, just see for yourself. It’s gonna happen soon.” A small, childish tone laces her words as they both turn to the horizon, eyes zoned in on where the sun is setting.

Sure enough - right as the sun collapses into a bright ball peeking over the sea, a bright, almost inconspicuous green flash appears.

“I saw it! I saw it!” Simon vibrates in excitement, pointing at the sea and smiling brightly at his mom. She smiles back, smile lines appearing and wrinkles returning as she giggles.

“See? Wasn’t that awesome?”

“So awesome!”

Simon keeps that memory tucked closely next to his cold heart, one of the few good memories of his childhood he can still remember vividly. The smell of the ocean, the stickiness of his lips and hands, the texture of wet wood under his fingertips, his mother’s lopsided smile, the sound of the ocean and the exact shade of green that appeared.

He knows that shade of green like the back of his hand. He knows it because none of the trees, leaves, grass ever came close to how intense it was. Simon used to naively believe that that shade of green was only special for him and his mother. (Sans Tommy, because he was asleep)

But now, staring into Johnny, his Johnny’s eyes, the same exact shade of green that appeared in the sky 25 years ago, Simon doesn’t believe that anymore. The same shade of green smoke plumes up behind Johnny, surrounding him like a possessive hug. It felt sickeningly wrong. His eyes aren’t green. His eyes aren’t green. He knows it because he’s spent the last 478 days burning the image of him into his mind, not wanting to forget him, ever. His eyes aren’t green.

[this-is-krikkit]

lmao i literally went "ugh if life was fair to queer people he would kiss him right now"

and in the next second guess what happened

GUYS

GUESS WHAT HAPPENED

[crescentfool]

the persona 3 protagonist 25th anniversary nui in food appliances!

[ferahntics]

Nana's 1st birthday...

[skitskatdacat63]

Yes these have all already been posted, but 2023 Vettonso comp post for me because I'm going to have an emotional breakdown

[bagelrites]

In January 2023, I decided to teach myself digital art. In January 2024, I can say I'm proud of last years journey, and looking forward to the next :)

[pineboots]

emily axford is so real for breaking character to tell everyone she still resents the library that didn’t hire her as a teen. I am a grown adult and still every time I go to the library and see a teen page I’m like wow. wish I was them 💔