#siblings dynamics are my weak point | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

borathae · 3 months ago

Text

↳ Index [Day 31 - Werewolves]

Pairing: Alpha Dom!Jungkook x f. Omega sub!Reader

Genre: childhood best friends to enemies to lovers!AU, werewolf!AU

Warnings: Kook is kinda cold at first, it is implied that OC gets sold into a forced marriage where she will be tortured and assaulted (not to Kook but a villain character hahaha), yeah...her future is not looking good, or is it?, Koo might have a plan :----)

Kinks: the trope of "just the tip" and "we shouldn't be doing this", yeah besties i went there, sex in a shed in the forest, sex by the bonfire, nudity, naked cuddling for warmth *wink wink*, he is bigger and stronger than her, size & muscle & strength kink, he pins her down, fuck i'm literally so small when it comes to him like bro please i have so many thots, hahah sorry i'm really into him haahah, he pins her wrists & puts his hand over her mouth to silence her, huge werwolf dick, knotting, multiple orgasms for both, "just the tip" in spooning position, clit massages, rough penetrative sex in pronebone & doggy style, he has her in a headlock at one point, breeding for the sake of scent marking her, so much fucking cum oh lord, dirty talk, he has fangs, he bites her shoulder, he growls, what if i was weak?? what then??, tears, eye contact, this is emotional & has plot and i wanna write more about them, cuddly & safe aftercare, the plot in this is so good omfg

Wordcount: 11.5k

a/n: Click here if you wanna see his dick. I have zero (0) Z E R O knowledge of the workings of the omegaverse. i know that there’s alphas and betas and omegas but that’s it. and that there is heat and knots and slick and scenting(?) but how the dynamics work or what ABO each means? no clue. so if this is inaccurate, bear with me and let's see it as my interpretation of werwolves instead. Okay? Okay. Jjssjjs i also added this idea to the mix ps: i actually don't wanna talk about this, i need to recover first BRO GOODBYE this was kinktober 2024 besties FJJDF what a way to end it tbfh

The storm caught you by surprise. You wouldn’t particularly mind it if it wasn’t for the company you have to keep.

Jeon Jungkook. A stubborn, self-centred peacock of a man who thinks he is something just because he is the son of the alpha.

Now, to perhaps understand the situation a little better, one might need what the literary world calls backstory.

You lived in a small mountain town far away from any big human city. The town was surrounded by high walls and visitors rarely found their way to it. It was wanted by the townspeople because you weren’t particularly human. Most humans would call you demons, but you like to call yourselves werewolves. You lived in a pack and the town was your lair.

You can be human but also turn into a wolf by choice. Some choose to keep some of their wolfish features such as their golden eyes or sharp fangs, while others looked entirely human when they walked on two legs.

Jeon Jungkook was the son of the pack alpha and therefore heir of the title. His mother was an alpha as well, which naturally gave him the alpha gen. He was stronger and faster than the other wolves in the pack and he had control over his body during the full moon. He never hid his fangs and showed his golden eyes whenever he was provoked. He earned his pack tattoos when he was twelve after killing three enemy wolves and when he turned eighteen, he earned the pack piercings after fulfilling the maturity rituals within a day. Something only his father managed to do before him.

Ever since that day, Jungkook became even more obnoxious and unlikable than he already was.

You weren’t so lucky. Born as an omega into a normal family with normal siblings in a normal house, your life has been pretty…normal. You are the same age as Jungkook, which naturally made you go to the same classes from elementary to high school. And throughout your academic career, you never learned to like him.

He was an alpha while you were an omega. You were the only one like this from your family, but they never treated you differently. You were a beloved and cherished family member and therefore lived a normal life until your older brother made a mistake and you had to carry the consequences.

He killed the promised omega wife of the enemy’s alpha’s son. The warring alpha wanted to slaughter the entire town at first, but Jungkook’s father persuaded him to take revenge another way. Take one of the village’s omegas and marry her to his son. “She will be complacent and quiet. Once she is married, she will be your property. You can take out your anger on her.” So Jungkook’s father told him and the enemy alpha agreed happily. One night later, you were dragged from your home with no way to escape your future. You were born this way, it wasn’t your fault and now it would be your death sentence. You cursed your brother that night who begged to be taken in your stead. You told him to choke on it. It was the last thing you said to him and probably will ever say to him. You already started to regret it.

Jungkook was ordered to make sure that you would arrive at the enemy village safe and sound. It has been three days ever since that night and all your hatred for anyone and anything has been directed solely at him.

“The rain’s annoying me. Let’s take shelter”, Jungkook says dryly.

“No.”

Jungkook glares at you.

“Yes”, he hisses, grabbing your arm by your elbow to drag you to a shed nearby. “I’m not gonna walk in the rain. Besides, it’s late. We need to rest.”

“Let go of me”, you protest, stumbling after him. There isn’t much that you can do. He is stronger and bigger and because of his status, he naturally has almost instinctive control over your actions. You could fight against these instincts, but it’s a lot easier not to.

“Would you rather get sick in the rain?”

“Maybe, yes. Maybe I’ll get sick enough to die. At least like this, I won’t be sold into torture”, you spit, ripping yourself free from his grasp. Again, all your hatred and anger is directed towards him, so it is easy to fight your instincts right now.

Jungkook gawks at you in surprise.

“I mean it”, you insist.

He frowns. He steps close and lifts you off the ground, throwing you over his shoulder.

“Hey! Let me down, you fuck!” you yell, flashing your fangs and kicking around you.

Jungkook merely shoulders you better and walks, frowning deeply.

“You brought this onto yourself.”

“I hate you. I fucking hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do. You big, smelling piece of shit.”

Jungkook kicks the shed open and drops you. You stumble in surprise, but catch yourself pretty quickly. You and he are mere inches away, sharing air. The constant lighting cutting the sky illuminates your angry faces. You and Jungkook have your golden eyes out and show off your fangs. Your bodies are steaming as your increased body heats dry the water.

“I’m gonna let it slip because we were classmates, but insult me again and I will make you be quiet. Understood?” he gnarls.

You step closer, making him taste your words.

“Go kiss my ass.”

You turn your back to him and stomp further into the shed.

The shed wasn’t much bigger than ten square meters. There were tools on each wall and some tools scattered around the ground. Clearly it was meant as storage for woodworkers. One corner had neat stacks of wood and on a table, some blankets were stacked in case some of the workers needed to stay the night.

“Great. That’s luxury, isn’t it?” you grumble.

The door slams closed behind you, making you flinch. You don’t look however, wanting to appear stronger than you feel. In truth, you are scared and alone and heartbroken. You are frightened. You are sad. You are afraid. You are helpless and hopeless. And you are only a little bit angry. As you walked, you couldn’t stop crying. You were happy for the rain because it masked the constant tears running down your face and you were happy for the loud thunder masking your sobs.

You are being sold like property to a man who will torture you for sports. All you want is to be home and to be held and to have someone pay for your fucking therapy because, goddamn, you are going to need a hell lot of therapy if you should survive this.

Jungkook is the last person you want to be with right now. He lacks empathy and kindness and has a tendency to impulsive anger. You are waiting for him to hurt you after slamming the door, frozen on the spot.

But it doesn’t come. Instead, he swerves past you to get firewood. You can only watch him, frozen like a scared little girl despite having long moved past your second decade on this cruel earth.

Jungkook uses his claws to ignite the fire by scratching them over a stone. He blows into the amber until it forms flames, then he stands up. He hooks his fingers in his shirt and takes it off.

You gasp and look away. You don’t know what he is going to do but it scares you. Is he going to test you out now? Make sure that the alpha is going to get a good delivery?

“Relax. I need to dry my clothes and I can’t do that on my body. I’ll catch a cold otherwise.”

“Oh.”

Jungkook scoffs and starts unbuckling his belt. You watch his tattooed fingers work. He is wearing heavy silver rings on them. Yep, your people can handle silver without pain. It’s only a myth that it hurts you. Just as garlic being lethal for vampires is a myth. Humans like to tell these tales to sleep better at night.

Jungkook begins taking off his pants, meeting your gawking eyes.

“Stop staring and bring the blankets instead.”

“Oh, uhm. Sorry.”

You instinctively obey.

“Make a bed by the fire. Away from the door.”

You obey again.

Afterwards you lift your head, having to gasp and stare. What? Stare? Why can’t you look away?

He is completely naked, currently hanging up his clothes on a chair. You should want to look away but you can’t. His body is sculpted, his muscles well defined. He currently has his back turned to you. It is so big and broad, contrasting against his small waist. Shit, his legs and butt are so big and sculpted in comparison to it. His back is covered scars. Slashes, bite marks, cuts. Some seem to have dug very deep when fresh.

“Just spit it out”, Jungkook hisses, rolling his shoulders which makes his back muscles shift and flex.

“What?”

“I can feel you staring. Just say what you wanna say.”

“Your back. It’s covered in scars.”

Jungkook touches his own back, tracing the scars he can reach.

“I guess it is.”

“Who did this to you?”

“Too many people to count.”

“What happened to them?”

“The fact that I’m still here and they’re not, should be answer enough. Shouldn’t it?”

You gulp.

Jungkook turns.

You gulp even harder. Look away! You know that no matter how hard you beg your eyes, they won’t look away. It is like they are enchanted.

His pecs are big, clearly sculpted and strong. His stomach is defined, carrying scars as well. But what truly catches your eyes is his cock. Sitting under a dark, masculine bush of pubes, it glistens in the shine of the fire. It is big, even soft, a little tanner than the rest of his skin and sitting against a pair of big, plumb balls made for breeding. So this is what the cock of an alpha looks like. The effect it has on you is embarrassing. You feel slick build up in your holes and saliva collect in your mouth.

“Quit your staring. It’s like you’ve never seen a dick before.”

You shake out of your trance, looking away in embarrassment. Your face feels on fire. Holy fuck, what is wrong with you?

“You have seen dick before, right? Weren’t you and Tae a thing in high school?” he talks as he gets under the blanket.

“Uh, yeah, uh. We were.”

“And knowing Tae, he fucked you. Didn’t he?”

You turn away in embarrassment, rubbing the side of your neck. Of course he did, but Jungkook doesn’t need to know that.

He figures it out instantly however, glancing at your middle when you aren’t looking. Just for a second, nothing more.

“So stop being weird about it”, he says and lies down.

You shrink. Jungkook studies you. You are trembling in your wet, cold clothes. He pities you.

“Get naked and hang your clothes up to dry”, he orders.

You want to move in obedience at first, but then stop. You are too scared to obey instinctively.

“No. Close your eyes.”

Jungkook groans and closes his eyes.

“You’re so stuck up. You should practice being naked in front of other people. I heard that Alpha Urquard likes for his pack to watch wedding nights.”

You bite down tears. Great. Not only will you be assaulted, it will happen in front of god knows how many people. What if you just throw yourself onto one of the sharp tools? It would be a bitch way to go, but it’s better than what will happen to you.

You ogle the pitchfork. Maybe you could do it. Maybe.

“Hey!”

You snap out of it. You whip around, meeting Jungkook’s eyes.

“Hurry up and come here.”

“What?”

“Come here. It’s better than over there.”

You ogle the pitchfork then his darkened face. Did he figure you out?

“I’m not gonna repeat myself. Get out of your wet clothes and come to me.”

“Ple-please close your eyes.”

Jungkook sighs in defeat and obeys. With shaking fingers, you get naked. With trembling knees, you walk to his side. With weak muscles, you get under the blanket next to him. There is only one blanket and you try your fucking hardest not to touch his body in any kind of way. He left you the spot closer by the fire so you were warmer and he could oversee the door.

Jungkook, who senses your presence, opens his eyes. He studies your face, then your body. You have the blanket pulled up to your neck, shivering uncontrollably. Even now, you seem plagued by the cold.

He furrows his brows in distaste and closes the distance. He manages to put his arm around you before your quiet beg freezes him.

“Please don’t hurt me.”

He moves away, studying you in shock. Your eyes are squeezed shut, your fingers are trembling as you grasp the blanket.

“Why would I hurt you?”

The honest confusion in his voice forces you to open your eyes.

The fire casts deep shadows into his face as much as it illuminates other parts of it. His wet hair is drying slowly, sticking to his wrinkled forehead. He is furrowing his brows which explains the wrinkles.

“Why would I hurt you?” he repeats his question with more urgency.

“I don’t know.”

“I was ordered to make sure that you arrive unharmed to Urquard. The last thing I’ll do is hurt you.”

“Please don’t.”

“Please don’t?”

“Don’t make sure that I arrive safely.”

Jungkook blinks in surprise. Such vulnerability isn’t what he expected from the once feisty, rude woman of before. You are tiny in fear, trembling uncontrollably and begging him with greyed, hopeless eyes.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re gonna be an alpha’s wife. That’s every omega’s dream”, he snarls, sounding weirdly jealous.

You burst into tears instantly, turning your back to him as you curl into a small ball. You wail loudly, unable to pretend any longer. You don’t want to be married off. You don’t want it.

“No, uh… stop crying. I, I’m ordering you to stop crying”, he panics, hissing his words which only makes you cry harder.

He stares for a while, fumbling with his words. In the end he doesn’t know what to say, turning off his brain to speak from his heart instead.

“Don’t cry, it’s gonna be okay”, he says softly, rubbing your shoulder.

His touch is tender and soothing. You sob despite it or perhaps because of it. It feels so weird to receive because it is nice.

“Hey, it’s okay”, he tells you, draping his arm over you. Like this, your bodies are touching under the blanket. He feels so warm against your skin. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“It’s not gonna be okay. I’m being sold like a pig to a man who likes to watch his daughters in law get raped in front of the entire pack and who will use every second of his life to torture me.” You shrink into yourself. “I just wanna die. I’m so scared.”

“Hey no, don’t say that. Don’t be scared, I’m here.”

“I heard that Urquard killed his first wife by ramming a medal hook into her stomach and hanging her like this. All because she couldn’t give him a child with the alpha gen. Please just kill me, please.”

“I’m not gonna kill you, ___.”

The last time Jungkook said your name, you and he were both eleven and played adventurers in the forest. He celebrated his twelfth birthday two weeks later and another two weeks later, he killed those three wolves and got his tattoos. He stopped playing with you and stopped saying your name. Quite frankly, he stopped playing with any children since that day, saying stuff like “a man wouldn’t play stupid stuff” or “my father says that it’s weak to play” and he became quiet and distant. Maybe he became sadder as well and lonelier.

Your name from his tongue after almost fifteen years forces you to turn in his arms. For just a second, the same innocent and playful boy looks back at you before you blink and come back to reality. His features and eyes are still the same shape and colour but he seemed to have grown into them. His left cheek carries a scar these days and his brows are furrowed more than they are relaxed.

“I’m not gonna kill you, ___. And I’m not gonna let you kill yourself either.”

“So you would rather see me sold to a monster?” You squeeze out tears of anger and frustration. “I hate you so much. You sadistic, heartless piece of shit.”

Jungkook frowns deeper.

“You alphas are all the same. You think just because you are stronger than the rest of us, you can push us around like cattle. We aren’t cattle. We are people, we live normal and good lives. We are nothing special but that’s good. We’re boring and mundane but we love deeply. Unlike you disgusting, selfish alphas who see us as nothing but merchandise.”

“Are you done now?”

“I’ve only started. You are heartless, selfish, self-absorbed, apathetic and a snob. At the spot where your heart once was, a rotten piece of coal is sitting and when you talk, plants die out of spite.”

“Anything else you like to add?”

“You are the worst person to ever exist. You are elitist and stubborn and way too obsessed with status. And you…” Your eyes fill with tears. “...you broke my heart before I even knew what heartbreak was.”

Jungkook’s eyes darken in an unfamiliar emotion. Guilt? Regret? More anger?

“We did everything together until one day, you decided that I wasn’t good enough anymore. For fuck’s sake, we were twelve and you acted like I was embarrassing for doing stuff kids our age were allowed to do.”

“You think that I had a choice?” He finally speaks up and you get a feeling that it was your turn to listen. “I stopped being a kid in my father’s eyes the day I killed those wolves. I didn’t wanna push you away, but father made me.”

“What?”

“I became his heir that day, I sealed my fucking fate. I had to stop playing a-and doing kid’s stuff. He forced me to train day in and out. I had to be the perfect man. I was twelve, for fuck’s sake. I was a fucking kid who wanted to play adventurers in the forest with, with his….with his best friend.”

The silence which follows after his confession is deafening. Fifteen years of hating him. Fifteen years of thinking that he hated you. And all this time, he only acted like this because his father made him. You meet his emotional eyes, feeling emotional yourself.

“I was your best friend?” you whisper.

He nods his head, biting down on his lower lip to stop it from trembling.

“I miss you, ___”, he presses out.

You feel lost for words. You are so shaken in fact that you can’t even find it in you to cry. Fifteen years. Fifteen years of hating him for what he did and wishing for an apology you thought would never come and here it is. His confession. His apology.

“It’s been fifteen years and I still do. I miss you and I’m sorry.” He cups your face, wiping away the remnants of tears. “I’m so sorry.”

You stare. And stare. And stare.

“Please say something”, he whispers.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Just anything, please.”

“You’re the most selfish piece of shit I have ever seen.”

Jungkook’s face falls in shock. His eyes show how much your words hurt him.

“Why tell me your stupid apology now? Why confess to me now? Knowing that I will be sold into a life of sex slavery and torture?” You hit his chest. “Why tell me now when you literally deliver me to my fucking death? You piece of shit, you’re selfish and cruel and I want you dead.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do. You and your entire family and the rest of the pack. Die. All of you just die.”

You hit him with more vigour. More and more and more.

“Enough”, he stops you, pinning your wrists into the ground and with it, rendering you helpless, “stop hitting me, please.”

You spit at his face.

Jungkook flinches back. He sits up and wipes it away.

“What the fuck? You spat at me. Why would you do that?”

“Go to hell and shove your sappy confession up your sadistic ass”, you hiss. You feel no ounce of remorse for what you did.

Jungkook wipes your spit into the blanket and moves quickly. He puts your wrists together and pins them above your head. Before you can spit again, he puts his other hand over your mouth, rending your legs useless as well by slinging one of his muscular legs over yours.

There is no fabric between your bodies. You are skin against skin. Raw and naked and hot. You can feel his dick against you and you know that he can feel your tits against his arm. You are rendered useless, vulnerable to whatever he plans to do to you now that spat at him. You are scared, but you are also droopy. It is that same droopiness you felt when you looked at his naked body. Except stronger and more unbearable. You are hotter and there is slick gathering in your holes. You can barely breathe, but maybe this is because of his hand over your mouth.

“Stop fighting me and listen”, Jungkook talks with his lips close to your face. You can’t stop staring at them. You fight him while your mind goes droopy at the sight of his lips moving. “You can either go to your new life or listen. Are you gonna listen?”

You nod your head.

“Good. I’m gonna pull my hand away now and you won’t spit at my face again. Promise?”

You nod hesitantly.

“Good. I trust your word.”

He pulls his hand away, keeping his arm around you. It lies exactly over your tits, rubbing against your nipples. You know for a fact that he is able to feel it. You curl your fingers, trying so hard not to get affected by his closeness. Or to make a sound for that matter.

“I said this stuff to you because I wanna make it right between us. Your brother fucked up, but what Urquard did in retaliation is crazy and what father allowed is insane. If you want me to, I won’t bring you to him.”

“What? But…your father promised.”

“I don’t care. It’s barbaric that omega trading is still a thing. You are right, you are people not cattle.”

“If he finds out that you refuse, he will disown you.”

“I have a plan for that.”

“Urquard will kill you.”

“That’s why I have a plan.”

“What plan?”

“It’s gonna sound insane.”

“Just tell me please. I don’t wanna be sold.”

“The only way I can free you of this pact is if you get marked by another alpha. You’re unclaimed right now, but if you were to be marked by an alpha other than Urquard’s son, then the pact would be invalid.”

“What do you mean with marked?”

He hesitates.

“Tell me.”

“An alpha would have to put his dick into you.”

“So assault? I would have to be assaulted?”

“Not if you wanted it.”

“Huh?”

“Not if it’s with someone you trust. Someone who’s gonna be careful and gentle and who’s gonna make it nice for you.”

“And who should that be? Last time I checked, I’m not really friends with many…”

Your eyes meet Jungkook’s. He seems shy all of a sudden.

“Oh.”

You gasp for air.

“Oh.”

“I know it’s crazy. I thought of other ways. I’ve been plotting ever since we left town. That’s why I volunteered. To give us time, to give me time to think of something. I thought of lots of stuff, but they all ended in hypothetical death or enslavement of our pack. The only peaceful option was this.”

“You volunteered to bring me?”

He nods his head, “anyone else would have been too scared of or too loyal to my dad. I know you’re scared, but I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.”

“And you thought of this?”

“It’s the only way. We kill Urquard and his sons? Their pack comes after us. We run away? Their pack is gonna punish our pack. We kill everyone? Impossible we’d die and destine our pack to agony. It’s only death and pain u-unless you get marked by an alpha.”

“But I would have to be with you afterwards.”

“Only if you want to. We can pretend, make everyone think that it’s real. You wouldn’t have to be with me ever again.”

“Oh my god, this is insane.”

“I know. I’m sorry. The choice is yours. I promise.”

You study his face. You are still trapped under him, sharing heat. Skin against skin. arm against chest and cock against hip. He is semi hard by now, smearing slick on your skin. The fact that he is affected by this - by you - doesn’t make it easier to stay calm. You are glad for his leg over yours because it forces your legs to be closed and therefore hide the masses of slick having accumulated by now. His hair is still damp, hanging into his face messily. His fingers feel so strong and protective around your wrists. You swear that each time he breathes out and you inhale it, you feel high. You are so attracted to him right now.

Truth be told, you always thought that he was handsome beyond comparison. He has a mesmerizing aura and a captivating smile. His physique is your dream physique and his face often caught your attention in a crowd. You were utterly and insanely attracted to him which made your hatred for him grow deeper. He betrayed you, but he is still haunting your thoughts. It was unbearable until right now.

“I’m scared. I never did it with an alpha before”, you confess, suddenly feeling so vulnerable.

And Jungkook takes that vulnerability, cradling it in his safe palm just as he cradles your cheek the same way. His eyes softened, his voice did too.

“Don’t be scared. I’ll be gentle. I promise”, he almost whispers the words, tracing your brow and temple between cradling your cheek.

“I don’t know you like that.”

“Neither do I you. It’s gonna be a one time thing.”

“I’m scared. I’ve been scared ever since all of this started.”

“Don’t be. I’m here. I won’t let them touch you.”

“But you’ll touch me?” you ask in a whisper, lifting the inner corners of your brows.

Jungkook has a hard time staying calm when you look at him with such puppy eyes.

“If you let me, I will.”

You exhale shakily, squirming under him.

“I’m scared.”

He lets go of your wrists to cradle your other cheek. You lean into the touch, barely wanting to keep your eyes open. Your arms stay in their submissive position naturally.

“Just the tip. That’s all it takes. Just the tip for a few seconds so you take on my scent and then it’ll be over”, he says.

“Just the tip?”

“Yes, just the tip. Nothing more. I promise.”

You are going to do something which you thought never to do. But if it saves your life, you would do anything. Even something as crazy as allow Jungkook to stick his tip into you.

“Okay. Just the tip.”

Jungkook exhales shakily, moving closer for a kiss like it was instinct before he stops himself. You shudder, craving nothing more than what he denies both of you.

“We shouldn’t be doing this”, he breathes.

“What?”

“Kiss.” He lets the word dance over your lips, running his thumb under your lips as his eyes stare. “We shouldn’t.”

“No, we shouldn’t”, you whimper, chasing him.

Moments of craving and yearning where both of you try so hard to kiss the other. But you shouldn’t. Just the tip, nothing more.

“Roll to your side, please”, Jungkook breaks the electric silence, guiding you with his hand on your shoulder until your back faces his chest.

You can see the fire and the rest of the shed like this, but not Jungkook.

“Why like this?”

“If I look at your face, I’ll stick it in completely. I can’t do this to you.”

“Oh.”

Jungkook closes the distance, connecting his hand with your hip. He guides it up your body, travelling along your waist and arm. His touch leaves goosebumps where it goes. His palm is slightly calloused from fighting but incredibly tender in how it touches you. You feel yourself breathe heavier and heavier the longer he touches you.

He reaches your shoulder, closing the last of the distance by lowering his lips to your back.

“Ah”, you let out quietly, tensing up. Your eyes are widened comically big, staring into the bright flames. He is kissing your naked skin. What the fuck.

Jungkook’s eyes are closed in contrast. His head is foggy, but he tries to fight these feelings. You smell so good that it is very difficult to do so.

His hand is still on your shoulder at first but moves to your waist when he guides his kisses to said shoulder.

“Oh god”, you whisper, sighing afterwards.

Jungkook feels droopy from the sound, digging his fingers into the softness of your side. He shouldn’t be doing this. Just the tip. That’s what he said. And yet here he is, kissing your soft skin as if it was his right to do so. He shouldn’t be doing this, but he can’t stop. He traces and holds your side and stomach, telling himself that he only does it to relax you. He kisses every inch of your exposed back and shoulder, telling himself that he only does it to calm you down. When in truth he does all of this because he wants to make it nice for you. And maybe he wants to be a source of tenderness after what you had to go through.

Lies. These are still lies. He fucking does this because he wants to. He fucking does it because he wants to know how it is to touch you. Taehyung talked when you and he were high school sweethearts. Oh, Taehyung talked and Jungkook had to listen and secretly seethe with jealousy. It should be him, he thought back then, he would know how to treat you right.

You had no idea of these thoughts. You still haven’t as you lie here next to the warm fire while Jungkook touches you oh so carefully. You don’t know if you’re allowed to close your eyes. Just the tip, you agreed on. Can you close your eyes for that?

But it feels so good. His lips are soft, while his piercings are hard in contrast. His touch is currently dancing up the middle of your torso slowly. You fight the shivers wanting to run through you.

You lose the fight a moment later when he pulls you against his strong chest and kisses your neck.

You whimper, trembling like crazy. You arch into him, craning your neck to give him more of it. Your heart skips beats under his lips. Jungkook grips the blanket to stop his hand from cradling your tits.

“Fuck, I shouldn’t be doing this”, he presses out under his breath, mouthing at your neck hungrily. “I shouldn’t….do…this.”

He drags his lips to your jawline and sucks. Your eyes close.

You mewl, rolling your hips back into him. His cock slides between your legs, rubbing between your puffy folds. He trembles in shock, gripping your hip to stop your wiggles.

“Don’t do this. Don’t act like this when it is supposed to mean nothing.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it.”

“Mhhm I know. You can’t, but I can. I won’t do it again, I’m sorry.”

You swallow your begs, not wanting to appear weak or desperate. It is so difficult not to beg when you have his cock between your legs. Hugged by your folds and exchanging slick. He feels hot and his veins are pulsing desperately. You have never before felt so stupidly horny than you do right now. Quite frankly, he might be forcing you to go into impromptu heat if he keeps being like this.

“Just the tip, yeah? Just the tip”, he whispers as he puts his arm under your head so you have something comfortable to rest on. You practically melt into him, biting back tears. You are being held and it feels so good. So safe and warm.

He kisses your neck and cheek, whispering his words.

“Are you comfortable? Are you ready?”

“Yeah”, you sigh, pushing your hips back.

Jungkook slides his other hand between your bodies, using it to align his cock with your dripping entrance. Just the tip, he reminds himself, nothing more. Don’t be greedy, keep calm. This doesn’t mean anything.

“Last chance”, he says, wanting to stall time so he can calm down.

“I trust you.”

Jungkook bites back his moan, having to take a deep breath before he can act. You are messing him up without knowing. With a racing pulse, he applies pressure on your puffy cunt and slips inside.

You squeak, shaking against your will. You convulse around him, gasping repeatedly. He went in so easily, despite his size.

Jungkook growls, “fuck, holy fuck”, he gets out and bruises your hip as he grips it for support. It takes everything inside him not to push it all the way in. Jungkook genuinely has a hard time not to moan. You are so wet.

Judging from your tremors and the way you fight for air, it is just as difficult for you.

“Only a few more second”, he forces his voice to sound as normal as possible. He wants to fuck you, but knows that he shouldn’t.

“Mh-hm”, you squeak out, nodding your head. You want him to fuck you.

Jungkook closes his hand to a fist, growing his claws to dig them into his own palm. The pain keeps him from acting up. He wouldn’t be able to handle it otherwise.

Jungkook always hoped that he would marry you one day. There it is. It’s out there. Jungkook had feelings for you for decades. In his dreams, you marry him and he can spend the rest of his days spoiling you rotten. He would be your protector against any danger, your best friend to laugh with, your remedy for your heats and the lover you can be yourself with.

Being with you like this is everything he ever wished for. You are so soft and warm around him, your slick is so wet. He knows that, deeper inside, it would be so much more. You'd be so warm, so soft. Jungkook gulps down his desire for more, otherwise he would do things he would regret.

“I think it should be good”, he presses out. He can’t do it anymore. One more second and he would push in all the way. He can’t do this to you. You trust him and he can’t abuse this trust.

“Really?”

You turn your head, looking up at him in droopy devotion. Jungkook whimpers, instantly cradling your cheek. He furrows his brows, throbbing inside you. He fights the urge to kiss you, to rest his forehead against yours, to bury himself deep inside you.

“Please don’t look at me.”

“Jungkook.”

His name hasn’t rolled off your tongue ever since he left you at the playground. It almost brings tears to his eyes, forcing his arm around you tighter.

“I can’t do this”, he drops his forehead against yours “I think I remembered that I need to put in all of it. It’s not gonna work otherwise.”

He is lying, because he can’t accept the truth yet. That he is selfish and totally addicted to you.

“Please do.”

“No. No we shouldn’t be doing this”, he fights it still, shaking his head which makes his nose rub against yours.

“Please”, your words tickle his lips, “save me. Whatever it takes, save me.”

“Urgh”, he growls through gritted teeth.

“Please.”

Jungkook lifts his head. He wants to look into your eyes as he does it. He wants to see the utter bliss in your eyes as he turns your relationship status from ex childhood best friends to two adults reunited.

He rolls his hips, feeding your warmth his length inch by inch. Your brows furrow and lift, your lids flutter, your mouth falls open.

“A-ah”, you squeak out.

“Shhh, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m all here”, he whispers. He closes his arm around you, cradling you in a gentle headlock.

You close your fingers around his lower arm, spilling tears from your eyes.

“Does it hurt?”

You shake your head.

“But?”

“So…filled out. So big.”

“I know. I’m big, but you’re taking me so well.”

You whimper. Jungkook feels so insanely protective over you right now.

“Yes, you are. Taking me so well”, he insists, brushing the back of his hand down your cheek.

Jungkook continues until he bottoms out. He shudders, choking down a whimper. You feel so good. He never ever felt like this before. It feels like coming home which is insane because he was never with you like this.

“___”, your name comes out of him against his will.

“Jungkook”, you answer him, clenching around him.

“Stay still, please.”

“Okay”, you whimper, looking at his lips.

The pull is magnetic. Jungkook draws closer with parted lips, you meet him with parted lips. Once you kiss, it will be over for you and him. There will be no coming back from this.

“No”, he croaks, putting his hand over your mouth. The headlock tightens like this, giving you such a sense of being protected that your walls clench against your will.

“We shouldn’t kiss. Never”, he rasps weakly, mouthing at his own hand right where your lips lie beneath. You close your eyes, trying to move your lips under his hand. It is starting to feel cruel to be denied his kiss. Especially when memories of your past come back to you.

You remember that it was a group of eight kids and you were doing “dares” to see who is the coolest. Taehyung was dared to prank call his mom and he actually did. He pretended to be a grown up insurance clerk and once he hung up, you really thought that he managed to prank his mom (he didn’t hide his phone number and had a childlike voice). Jimin, another friend, was dared to climb a tree. Which he did and he was sooo cool for it. They were silly, childish dares who did no harm but made you feel so cool. Then it came to you and you were dared to kiss Jungkook. Which you did. In a childlike, innocent way but which made you and him feel so grown up for a moment.

The memory is haunting you right now, making you want to redo it in a grown up, mature way. You open your eyes, meeting Jungkook’s gaze. Judging from the foggy desperation in them, he is haunted by the same memory.

“Please get out of my head”, he gets out.

You whimper his name behind his hand. Jungkook furrows his brows, grinding his teeth.

“No please. Stop it”, he croaks, squeezing his eyes shut.

You want to fight it as well, of course you do. You swore to hate him forever and now you want nothing else than his kiss. You want to fight it, but your hands move against your will. They rest themselves over Jungkook’s hand and try to dig between your face and his palm.

He growls, huffing out air. The only thing keeping your hips from joining the impossible fight is his hand on it. Shit, now he is concentrating on down below. Your puffy walls around him, so soft and warm. Being inside you, Jungkook swears he will never be cold again. Or maybe he will be, maybe he will never find warmth again once this stops, once he has to slip out and pretend that it meant nothing.

What will happen afterwards? He is so needy and he knows that you are too. What will happen? Are you going to lie next to each other, wet and needy and force your bodies to calm down? Or maybe he will need to excuse himself to outside, fuck his own fist as the loud thunder masks his desperate moans while inside the shed you most definitely would touch yourself as well?

Jungkook was so lost in his haunted thoughts that he realises too late that you managed to tug his hand away. Your lips brush his’.

Jungkook moans from the bottom of his heart, going in for more at first. He even rolls his hips into you. Like instinct. Like it is meant to happen.

“No”, he pushes you away, slips out, breaks the moment. “We shouldn’t be doing this. Not that far.”

You sob, shrinking into yourself.

“Please”, you whimper your words, staring at him with desperate, sad eyes. You lift your hips, begging him silently.

“I won’t be able to stop if I do it again. I can’t do this to you.”

“Please”, you beg.

“Do you even know what an alpha does when he fucks? I won’t be able to stop until I bred you. I-I’ll knot you and, and you won’t be able to get me out until I’m soft again.”

“I know.”

“This could take hours. You will feel out of control and vulnerable.”

“You said that you will protect me. That I-I’m safe with you.”

“___”, he chokes out and crawls to you. He picks you up in his strong arms, holding you against his chest. His heart is racing like crazy against your back. “Stop me. I beg you. I can’t pretend any longer that this means nothing to me. You have to stop this.”

You reach up and twist his hair, pulling him down to you.

“We shouldn’t-”

You silence him with a kiss.

Jungkook trembles, resting his weight against you as the kiss renders his body useless for a moment. You are kissing him. You stopped this stupid farce for you and him. You sealed your fates. Jungkook knows that it won’t be the same after tonight. He will never fucking give you up.

He breaks the kiss, but stay close.

“You shouldn’t have done this.”

“Please. More.”

“Are you even hearing me?” he hisses.

“Yes. Please, more.”

“Fuck, we really shouldn’t, but maybe I…I have to move it a few times? To really mark you?”

“Yes, sounds good, mark me please. I don’t wanna be sold.”

“I-I’ll do it just for that. To make sure.”

“Yes. Okay”, you sigh and melt into him, lifting your leg.

Jungkook slides his hand under it instantly.

“Let me do it. Relax.”

You let your muscles relax, allowing him to carry your leg’s weight. He does it so easily, tracing your hairline with his fingertips as he looks down at you. He moves his hips so his cock would slip between your folds, working you up to what was coming by grinding back and forth. He really drags out the movements, sending trembles through your legs each time his thick tip rubs your swollen clit.

He exhales shakily, whispering his thoughts.

“You’re so wet. I have never felt slick so warm and, and wet before.”

You look up at him with shy, nervous puppy eyes, making him want to protect you forever.

“Is it bad?”

“No, fuck no”, he puts his arm around your chest, pulling you up to him until he can rest his forehead against yours. “It’s perfect, baby.”

“Baby?”

“I…” he drops you, hips stilling in shock. He doesn’t know what to say. Anything he could say feels like too little of an apology.

You however increase the lethalness of your puppy eyes, reaching down to try and move his hips again.

“Please. More.”

“We’re only doing this to save you, right?” He asks, picking up a rhythm again. It is the same as before but way more arousing because he purposefully makes sure that his tip slips into you every now and then. He starts off with just a little poke, increasing the inches more and more. But it stays just the tip, for now, don’t be mistaken. If he slips inside it should happen accidentally. He likes to tell himself if it happens like this, it will mean that it wasn’t his fault.

“Yes, only to save me” you lull your words, getting droopier and droopier. Each time he has his tip inside you, it feels so good. Before he slips out and you feel sad, until of course he drags his cock over your clit instead.

You can’t do this for long anymore and Jungkook seems to share your feelings. The tip he buries in you starts to go way past your entrance and it seems to stay longer inside. His golden eyes never break contact, his fingers rub your arm as he holds you so close.

He slips into you again. So deep.

“Mhhhhm” he lets out in a rumble, furrowing his brows.

You whimper, lifting your brows.

Deeper. Deeper. Deeper. He won’t be able to escape like this.

Deeper.

He bottoms out.

You moan, eyelids fluttering and lips chasing his kiss.

He shakes his head, talking as he falls into the kiss.

“We really shouldn’t be doing this.”

You kiss and Jungkook’s cock doesn’t leave you again. It stays buried deep inside you, reshaping your walls as his hips move. Slowly for now, daring not to be too rough with you. Because being rough makes it real. Maybe if he keeps his movements tiny enough, it will still count as being nothing of importance.

Because that’s what this is, right? Something that doesn’t mean anything, something that won’t change who you and he are. This is what those needy, hungry tongue kisses mean, this is what the desperate touches mean, this is what the exchanging of warm slick means. Nothing. Because if those things meant something, it would force Jungkook to admit that he is doing This for himself. Of course he does it to save you, but if it meant something, he would have to admit that he is also doing this for himself.

But it doesn’t mean anything, right? Right?

You break the kiss for air, looking up at him submissively and droopy.

“It feels so good”, you whisper.

“Close your eyes, please.”

You obey and Jungkook has to come to the realisation that it makes no difference. This fucking means something. Holy fuck, he is done for.

“Maybe I have to make you cum?”

“What?” you ask, eyes still closed.

“I think I need to make you cum once. Then you’ll be marked.”

“Please do. I trust you.”

Trust. He thought that he would never earn it again and yet here he is. With your weakened, trembling body in his hold as you trust him to take good care of you.

“Mhhm shit”, he presses out, biting down on his own tongue to calm himself. Be tender with her, he thinks, you swore to be a gentle alpha so fucking get it together.

He moves you into another position, draping your leg over his hip so you wouldn’t have to use your muscles. You are so open and spread like this, allowing his big cock entrance. He slides his hand to your clit and takes it between his thumb and middle finger to massage it.

“A-ha”, you let out, arching your back and lifting your hips.

“Ssssh, relax. I’m here.”

“Please, deeper.”

Jungkook buries his cock deep inside you and stays there, circling his hips. He is so big and long that he stimulates both your g-spot and your cervix. He is so gentle that it doesn’t hurt. It just feels so good that your fangs grow against your will and you leak masses of new slick.

“Like this? Am I making it nice for you?”

“So nice”, you mewl, nodding your head vigorously.

Jungkook is gazing at you as it happens. He watches every change of expression on your face, fighting the urge to call you beautiful. Because that’s what you are. Beautiful. You would deserve to know but he is scared of the consequences. It would mean the fluttering of his heart is real.

“Is so nice”, you sigh, writhing happily. It breaks him.

“You’re beautiful”, he says, moaning softly when you tighten and arch your back. So you liked it. His cock throbs inside you, leaking into you needily. “Yeah that’s right, you’re beautiful. So fucking beautiful. Taking me so well, feeling so good on my cock.”

“Ah, aaaah”, your moans are so loud, your pussy so fucking wet and your clit so swollen.

Jungkook fucks you gently, massaging your spot of pleasure with his long, skilled fingers. He can feel your heartbeat in your back, as much as he can feel you rub against his nipples.

The blanket over your bodies is so hot, making you and him sweat wherever you are touching. He can’t deny it anymore that this is real, that this means something. This means fucking everything to him.

“You’re such a good omega, taking me so well.”

“You’re making me cum”, you croak, grasping his arm for support, “please, can I cum?”

“Yes, baby. You can. Cum for me.”

“Jungkook”, you gasp, ripping your eyes open to stare in shock as his gentle touches bring you over the edge.

Your eyes flicker golden, you moan silently with an open mouth.

“That’s it, cum for your alpha. Let me mark you, that’s it.”

He has a hard time saying these words to you. His thoughts are running wild. This is the face you make when you have an orgasm. Never in his wildest dreams could he have imagined this to be a face he gets to see. And it’s so beautiful that he treads the moment your high stops and he has to pull out. He doesn’t want to pull out. He needs more of you. He needs you like fucking crazy.

“More please”, and then your beg releases him. You are down from your high, yet still so hungry for more. You feel so fulfilled with him that you don’t want this to stop.

“What?” he croaks.

“More please, more.”

“If I do this, I won’t stop until I cum too.”

“I know.”

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe I have to cum inside you to mark you?”

“Yeah, maybe.”

The pretend continues. The fucking charades that this is only to save you from your fate, that you and he aren’t doing this because it feels so good to both of you.

“Please Jungkook, fuck me properly.”

“Are you sure?” he almost squeaks the words because he has such a hard time controlling his urges.

“Yes. Please.”

“Holy fuck. ___ urgh.”

Your needy beg does the rest. His animalistic instincts take over.

Jungkook growls, grabbing you roughly to flip you onto your stomach and therefore pin you down. He straddles you from behind. His right hand slips to the back of your head, his left hand has a possessive grip on your hip. His legs cage in your legs, keeping them squeezed together as he drills his thick cock into your pussy. You are so tight like this, jerking him off in such a maddening way.

You scream up as you didn’t expect him to take on such a punishing pace instantly, but you aren’t complaining. It feels so good to take him. He fucks you so well. His cock is so filling, making you feel whole.

“I’m not holding back now. For you, just for you. Is this good for you? Do you like this?”, he growls through gritted fangs, shifting his eyes between your face and his cock.

“Yeaa”, you sob, clawing at the ground helplessly. You were aware that Jungkook has been an adult for years, but this is still changing how you see him. Whenever you thought of him, you saw that twelve year old boy calling you immature for playing. That boy is gone as if he never existed. Jungkook is a fucking adult and he is rewriting the image in your mind one heavy stroke at a time.

“You should have never seen me like this. Fuck, this shouldn’t happen”, Jungkook spits, high on your body. He is embarrassed by his actions, but can’t stop them. “But I can’t stop. Holy fuck, I need you so fucking bad.” He needs to fuck you. You are so small and weak right now, so goddamn vulnerable. Once so unclaimed until he took you.

You are his.

Jungkook growls, pinning you harder into the ground.

You are his.

You reach behind yourself because his hand on your head hurts. He grabs your wrist instantly, using it to pin your arm against your back. You wail up, kicking the ground as best as possible as you writhe in your imprisonment.

“I’m sorry. You shouldn’t see me like this. Not you. I’m sorry.”

He apologises, knowing that he won’t be able to stop until you are claimed. The thought makes him crazy. He is claiming you. The girl who was his first kiss, his best friend who always came to him when she needed help, the woman who counts on him to protect her from her fate and the wife he always hoped to have one day. And he is claiming her. He is marking her, making you his for anyone to smell.

Jungkook drills you harder. He pulls out all the way to his tip just to thrust into you sloppily. He does it over and over again, reminding your dripping pussy of his size with each possessive thrust.

And you take it with grateful sobs, existing only for him right now. You would never recover if he stopped right now. You need him to finish what he started even if it ruins you in the process.

“We really shouldn’t be doing this, fuck, this shouldn’t happen”, Jungkook gets out, gawking at where he buries himself in you.

Your slick is slowly taking on a milky colour from the intense friction. It sticks to his veiny shaft and his dark pubes, smearing all over your ass and his thighs as well.

If this shouldn’t happen, why does it feel so good? If this shouldn’t happen, why does it look so hot? If this shouldn’t happen, why does he not want to stop?

Jungkook scrunches his face in anger. He lets go of your arm so he can grip your hips with both hands. He pulls them up until you are kneeling. Your face is still buried in the ground, your back is arched.

You shake and convulse instantly, sobbing in embarrassment because the open position of your legs forces your slick to run out of you.

“Holy fuck”, he gets out, staring at it with blown out pupils, “holy fuck, ___.”

“I’m sorry, please don’t judge me”, you beg, trying so hard to keep it inside with clenches around his cock.

“Never. Holy fuck, I could never.”

“I’m so embarrassed.”

“Don’t be. Relax, baby. Don’t fight it”, he says, knowing that you and he shouldn’t be doing this.

You obey instinctively. You relax around him, releasing the slick you so desperately wanted to hide from him. It begins squirting out of you messily and audibly, marking him yours.

“Yes”, he growls and begins pulling your hips onto his cock possessively, thrusting into you at the same time. He does it with one hand because the other he slips between your legs to pinch your clit. Gently of course, keeping her between two fingers to massage her in circular motions.

“Let me help you.”

You wail and shake, releasing more and more of your pretty slick. It runs down your thighs, covers his legs, smears all over your ass and his stomach.

“Relax, that’s it. My pretty omega shouldn’t keep it inside. It’s not good for you.”

“Jungkook, I can’t do this”, you sob.

“I know. We can’t do this, we never should have.”

“No”, you wail, “no. I have to cum again.”

“Whenever you want to. Your alpha’s right here, baby.”

“Jungkook!” you scream, breaking apart as if you never orgasmed before. It feels so good.

“Holy fuck baby, ah!” Jungkook yelps, hips stuttering in shock, “you feel so good, what the fuck ah! Ah! I can’t control myself. Baby!”

Jungkook growls and lays himself over you. He holds you up with one hand around you, biting down on your shoulder as his body breaks. You sob from the pain of the bite, loving every second of it.

And then it hits you.

His seed.

His thick, hot seed.

It shoots out of him with such strength that you feel punched in the gut. The effect is instant. You lose control over yourself. Quite literally, you lose control. You can still talk, using it to scream his name as you orgasm in a way you have never experienced before.

The first one was intense but familiar. This right now? You didn’t even know that your body could feel this way. It is truly, seriously, religious. It is as if you finally found your purpose in life. And in a sense you did. You found your alpha. He finally claimed you properly. You are his’. You aren’t unclaimed anymore. Nobody ever educated on this, so you have no idea that these religious, soul fulfilling feelings mean that you changed forever, but you don’t mind right now. You are just riding on these feelings, screaming his name and milking him dry.

Jungkook whimpers. He truly, honestly whimpers from the bottom of his heart, collapsing on top of you. He knocks you into the ground like that, burying you under his weight but he couldn’t stop it from happening.

He never experienced this feeling either. He had sex with people, but it never felt like This before. He orgasmed in them but it never felt like this. It feels as if his seed finally has purpose. That’s how it feels. Like his efforts and all the rutting he is doing has fucking purpose.

And then it happens. Something that he was only told could happen to him, finally happens to him. His knot swells. He actually fucking grows a knot and has to writhe on top of you, burying his nose deep in your hair as he sobs your name.

You sob as well, insides suddenly feeling like bursting. His knot is so big and thick that it should feel like an intruder but it doesn’t. It feels like the best drug ever. You didn’t even know that you could stretch this far. The amount of stimulation it gives you as it rubs against your walls is otherworldly, making you chase one orgasm after the other.

“I don’t know what’s happening to me. Ah! ___!” Jungkook yelps, having to orgasm again as your tight walls stimulate his knot. The amount of sensitivity he feels on it is insane.

His hands slide together with yours, holding them tightly as he pins them into the ground. His tears fall into your hair, your own tears soak the blanket.

“I can’t stop”, you get out, shaking in fear, “I can’t stop cumming!”

“Me neither.”

“I’m scared. I’m so scared”, you sob, riding on the unfamiliar, scary sensations.

“Don’t be scared, I’m here. I’m here”, he talks you through it, shaking beyond saving.

You aren’t even moving much. There are no thrusts, no sloppy wiggles. Just and you and him, actually stuck together because of his knot while he pumps one cumshot after the other into you. There is no movement and yet it feels better than the most passionate rutting session you each had. No movement and yet you are fulfilled beyond comparison. Is this how it feels to find your mate? Is this what it is?

Did “we shouldn’t be doing this” turn into the finding of your other half? Was “we shouldn’t be doing this” fate’s way of protecting you from what will happen once you gave in? Or was there ever a “we shouldn’t be doing this” strong enough that could have prevented you from doing this?

Whatever it might be, it is too late to think about the what ifs now. The reality is that you and he can’t stop climaxing, lost in the most addicting and intense pleasure you and he ever found yourselves in. It is never ending. When he climaxes, you have to too which sets him off again, triggering your need to as well. It is a vicious, never ending, orgasmic cycle.

“This feels so good”, he croaks out, writhing on top of you, “does it feel-”

“Yes! Yes! Oh god please Kook not again. Kook!”

“Kook”, Jungkook repeats the nickname in a whimper, curling his toes as another orgasm hits him as well. He never thought to hear this name from you again. He can’t handle it any other way than filling you with more of him.

There is so much of him inside you by now, having no way to escape because of his knot that your body reacts in the only way it knows how to survive. It opens up for his seed to go deeper. It trickles into the deepest parts of your sex organs, warming you from the inside out. It is like he is alive inside you, feeding you with the strongest drug you ever took. You think that you black out for a moment. You are still aware of what is happening to you, but it is hidden behind a thick layer of blurriness.

“Eh”, you let out, falling into the darkness gladly. It feels so good to do. There is something because you are aware of your orgasm, but there is also nothing. It is as if you are standing next to your body, watching it shake and tremble as he makes a home inside you.

And then there is nothing. Truly nothing. No more orgasmic pleasure, no more watching yourself. Just darkness.

“___? Hey, ___? Holy fuck, what’s wrong with you? ___, open your eyes please”, Jungkook’s distraught voice comes closer and closer, his hand on your face becomes clearer and clearer, “please ___, open your eyes, please. Oh god, what have I done? I should never have done this. I- Oh god ___ please, I’m sorry. Wake up, please.”

He shakes your head gently. It brings you back to reality. Your body regains the ability to feel.

“Jungkook”, you whimper, opening your eyes. You writhe instantly, throbbing around his knot happily.

“___ hey. Holy fuck, thank god. Hey”, he says, dropping his forehead against your temple and kissing the side of your face desperately, “I’m so glad that you’re back. I thought that I killed you.”

“No, just made me black out.”

“Why? Does it hurt? Are you in lots of pain?”

“No, just haven’t felt so good before. Ever. Kook, I”, you suddenly have to whimper your words, “I feel your cum inside my uterus. It’s so warm and alive and….right.”

“It is?” He whimpers as well, feeling weakened in emotion.

You nod your head. Jungkook sobs quietly, using the hold he has on your hand to guide your arm under your body and against your chest. Like this, he rolls your bodies to their sides, instantly cradling you against his chest while his trembling lips kiss any part of you that he can reach.

Your face, your neck, your shoulder, your arm, your back and the bite mark he left, your face again. Over and over he kisses each inch of you, whispering your name every now and then as if he is trying to make sure that he remembers who made him feel like this. As if he is trying to make his brain memorise who it was who made him experience his first knot.

He is still swollen, keeping everything inside you safely. It is still so intense, but suddenly it feels more emotionally intense than physically. Enough time must have passed for the fire to reduce the logs by lot. And all of a sudden you and he don’t feel the uncontrollable need to orgasm anymore. You still want to be close, moving your hips in emotionally needy wiggles in hopes of keeping his knot alive for as long as possible, but it is not to chase another orgasm. You want this to last because it feels so safe.

“I don’t know what’s happening to me. I don’t want this to end”, Jungkook confesses, holding you protectively.

“Me neither. I feel so safe like this.”

“Holy fuck, ___. What did we do?” he presses out, kissing your cheek over and over again.

“I don’t know.”

“I never knotted before. I never felt like this. Holy fuck, ___.”

“What is gonna happen to us now?”

“I don’t know. All I know is that I can’t let you go again. Ever. I don’t wanna fucking share you. Never. I’m trying so hard not to tell you that you’re mine ‘cause I promised you that this would never happen again.”

“Please don’t.”

“What?”

You turn your head, leaning deeper into his embrace. Like this, you feel his racing heart against your shoulder and you are entirely protected in his arms. His knotted cock throbs inside you as your eyes meet. The same playful, gentle boy of the past looks back at you, except that his once boyish features are mature and aged up. A gentle, adoring man stares back at you and you can’t seem to find your way out of his galaxy eyes.

“Please don’t promise me that this won’t happen again.” You cradle his cheek. “Don’t hold back on telling me that I’m yours.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying. You’re high from my cum, these aren’t your real feelings.”

“Why shouldn’t they be?”

“___, we-”

You put your thumb on his lips.

“We shouldn’t have done this, I know. You kept telling me as we kept doing this.”

Jungkook gives up in a sigh, having to chuckle afterwards. You giggle, cupping his cheek again.

“Just the tip. That’s what we agreed on. Just the tip”, he says.

You clench around his knot, touching your bloated stomach. You instantly guide his hand to it, wanting him to feel what he did to you. He purrs deeply, biting down on his lower lip. You grin goofily.

“Just the tip indeed.”

He laughs softly. You snicker and stub his nose with your own.

“This is the messiest and deepest tip I have ever given”, he jokes, making you laugh.

“Oh god, this was funny.”

“Mhm, I’m pretty funny”, he says and nuzzles his nose into your neck to tickle you gently.

You squeak and giggle, feeling happy beyond comparison. Jungkook ends his loving attack with kisses to your ear.

You sigh, melting into the affection. You and he lace fingers, using the position to melt closer.

Your droopy eyes stare into the flames while Jungkook relaxes you with soft kisses all over your neck, shoulder and back.

The thunderstorm stopped outside. It is already a little brighter. Fuck, so you were really trapped in this orgasmic state for a few hours. It felt as if so little time passed as it was happening.

“What is gonna happen now?” you whisper.

“Now? We’re gonna cuddle and I’ll be kissing you until you’re asleep.”

“I mean after that. Do we have to show Urquard that I’m claimed?”

“I guess. I haven’t thought that far into the future yet. But yes, he will probably want proof that you’re marked.”

“I’m scared. Do I have to get naked in front of him? And his pack? Will he put something in me to get a scent?”

“He can try if he wants to die.” Jungkook pulls you closer possessively. “You’re under my protection now. Okay? You won’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with and I’ll hunt down anyone who dares to overstep your boundaries. Even Urquard and his pack.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. I promise you.”

You close your eyes, spilling tears.

“Thank you.”

You never thought it possible to have your dreams fulfilled by Jungkook and yet here you are. You are being held and comforted by Jungkook and it feels like home.

“Don’t thank me. You’re mine. My darling ___ to keep safe. You have my body to protect you and my heart to find a home in.”

There is deep rooted honesty in his words, but you are suddenly too sleepy to ask him what he meant by them. There will still be another time. This wasn’t just a one time thing after all.

3K notes · View notes

dindjarindiaries · 16 days ago

Text

Hunter was trying to be a good older brother to Crosshair and a good father to Omega in The Return, despite a few moments of weakness, through protectiveness, observation, and supportiveness. He ultimately succeeded in his objectives.

The Bad Batch S3E5 "The Return" will always be one of my favorites because it doesn't shy away from the complexity of the family's dynamic after 1) losing Tech, who was often a peacekeeper/mitigator, and 2) regaining Crosshair. While I, and many others, wish the former was explored more, it does an excellent job of showing us even more about these siblings' dynamics than we even knew before.

As always with any analysis, this is a disclaimer that you may view this episode in an entirely different way due to various biases, one of the most notable being based upon your own favorite characters and your own life experience. All I ask is that you read through carefully before chiming in with any counterarguments!

The line of dialogue that most of my argument here hinges upon is from Hunter about midway through the episode, just before his and Crosshair's fight.

"I know you."

Going back to the very beginning of the episode, we see Hunter and Wrecker sitting and waiting for Omega to wake up. Crosshair's clearly not there, and when Omega asks about their brother's whereabouts, Wrecker says he wasn't there when they woke up, before Hunter adds this.

His face is clearly displaying concern, even though his words are reassuring. He's no doubt worried about Crosshair, too, but like he says later on: he knows Crosshair. He knows what to do when Crosshair's upset, and that the sniper wants/needs time alone, hence why he and Wrecker didn't go after him. Hunter is trying to reassure Omega, who isn't as familiar with Crosshair at this point, by insisting that this is how he adjusts to change. It's important to note that there doesn't really seem to be any hostility radiating from Hunter (or Wrecker) towards Crosshair here.

In fact, the duo only gets up and goes to check on Crosshair once Omega's involved. This proves something else that's important to understand for Hunter's character in this episode: he's wrestling with both his concern for Crosshair and his protectiveness over Omega, and that's because of this moment from season 1:

Because of Crosshair telling Hunter in S1E15 that he had his inhibitor chip removed, without the context of when, Hunter has to assume for Omega's safety that this was Crosshair acting of his own accord. This is because, if Hunter's to be a reliable protector of her, he always has to be as cautious as possible with those she's surrounded by—and unfortunately, in this case, that includes Crosshair.

(Remember that, even as the sergeant of Clone Force 99 and the eldest brother/caretaker of their family, Hunter's priorities have shifted since the war ended; Omega now comes before all else. He says this as early as S1E7 to Rex, when they had only had Omega for a short time. This is now at least a year after those events, which means that sentiment's only grown stronger for Hunter, especially after losing Omega to the Empire for six months.)

Because Crosshair is smart and also knows his brothers just like they know him, he comes to this conclusion himself. This is why he's not surprised when they start watching him and Omega from a distance, and why Crosshair insists it's because "They don't trust me."

Then, Echo arrives, and they start making plans to go to Barton IV. This is where we see Hunter's protectiveness of Omega really shining, along with some interesting glimpses of Hunter's concern/curiosity about Crosshair and what he went through.

The fact that Omega and Hunter have the same expression here... that's intentional. Omega is but a mirror of her brothers, and always has been ever since she met them. She and Hunter are literally displaying the same amount of sympathy and concern for Crosshair here.

Now, this look from Hunter that's immediately after Crosshair's done talking is read as anger from a lot of people, which is understandable. To me, though, especially through this lens, it looks more like Hunter is coming to a conclusion. Hunter can tell that Crosshair knows more (and has gone through more) than he's letting on about, but he doesn't care that much about getting the intel that Echo no doubt wants. Hunter just doesn't like the fact that Crosshair won't open up about what happened to him.

It's important to keep in mind that as Hunter and Wrecker were watching Omega and Crosshair before, they undoubtedly saw Crosshair's target practice going poorly. Hunter would certainly make note of that, and thinking of his physical struggles along with hearing this... well, yeah, Hunter's gonna have a serious pondering face, because he wants to know what's wrong with his youngest brother so he can help him. But because he knows his brother, he knows that he has to keep his space for now and be mindful.

Once plans for the trip to Barton IV come up, Hunter proposes that he goes with Crosshair and Echo, again proving that Hunter isn't really trying to avoid Crosshair. In fact, Hunter only expresses any concern when Omega wants to join, and we all know why. He's worried about her and doesn't want to risk it, which he says plainly.

It's clear, though, that Hunter is still worried about Crosshair being so close to Omega, too, especially if they're going to an Imperial hideout. Hunter has trauma from that moment in S1E8, and it's not easy for him to see past that, as much as he does still care and worry for his youngest brother. Again, he has to suspect that anyone is capable of hurting her, aside from the brothers who've been protecting her alongside himself the entire time.

Crosshair even acknowledges this when he and Hunter pass one another while packing up the night before.

(I'd like to note that, in this moment, Hunter's the one who moves to accommodate Crosshair's path. To me, that's more evidence of the fact that Hunter is keeping a safe distance from Crosshair to let him process, but because Omega's there too, he's also keeping a watchful eye on him. He's really torn between the two.)

"Don't hold it against him," Crosshair tells Omega. Why? Because:

Crosshair understands that most, if not all, of Hunter's moments of caution towards Crosshair have everything to do with Omega and her safety, rather than Hunter being angry at Crosshair. Hunter doesn't like that Omega's going on this risky mission, and he really doesn't like that it's happening with Crosshair there, when he hasn't even told Hunter everything that happened. How is he supposed to properly protect her (and Crosshair) without knowing all the details?

(And how sweet is it that Crosshair agrees with Hunter's take on Omega coming with them?)

They get to Barton IV, and there, we get one of Hunter's moments of weakness, when he's really giving in to his protectiveness of Omega and his frustration/worry about having such few details about Crosshair and his falling out with the Empire.

(But first, let's quickly acknowledge Crosshair emerging in his old armor, and the fact that Hunter, Wrecker, and the others kept it. Hunter (and Wrecker I believe) both lost pieces of their armor during their search for Omega, no doubt either losing them in dangerous situations or selling things to get by, but they never once touched Crosshair's kit—even when it would have been really easy to sell his things before selling their own.)

Because the base is empty, Hunter starts to worry that it's a sign of something bad. Remember, just because Hunter is the level-headed sergeant and leader of the group, he's not immune to trauma. Imagine how traumatizing Eriadu and all his failed attempts to find Omega with Wrecker were for him, especially with him literally being a tracker. The last time they were all together like this on a mission was when Tech died.

So, Hunter gives into that protective sense and challenges Crosshair, because now he needs the details. He has a sense that this place is notable to Crosshair, but not how, and if he wants to protect Omega, who is his main priority, he has to find out. He's also getting more and more frustrated that Crosshair won't talk to him about it.

This can be evidenced by one of their exchanges. It's only after Crosshair brings up his cell again that Hunter insists, "I get the feeling there's more to this place than you're saying." And... well, Hunter's right. This is a place of trauma for Crosshair, and Hunter's no doubt picking up on that. After being reminded of Crosshair's imprisonment, Hunter has to ask, he has to press, in his mind, for the wellbeing of Omega, Crosshair, and the rest of his squad.

Again, Hunter doesn't like operating off little information to accomplish all these things. He's a protector at heart, and he always has been. Crosshair not giving him all the details he can remember (likely because of his own trauma) makes Hunter feel even more on edge, and that's why he lashes out a bit more at his brother, questioning him about why he didn't mention the raiders before.

Unfortunately, with Crosshair deflecting to avoid his own hurt, Hunter takes the bait and engages, leading to their exchange of "Just following orders?" "If you're scared, why don't you wait on the ship?" Thankfully, Echo steps in and breaks it up, which gives Hunter time to clear his head again. This is Hunter's first biggest moment of weakness.

Now, we're getting to one of my favorite sequences: Hunter watching Crosshair from a distance inside the depot.

Hunter clocks Crosshair's discomfort right away after Echo says that Crosshair's words about the base serving its purpose "Sounds familiar." Again, it's easy to understand why people might read this as Hunter being angry or cautious, but to me, it looks like Hunter's just trying to get a read on why that particular exchange sent Crosshair away, and what exactly he's looking for.

Wanting to figure out more so that he can help Crosshair and thus help them all in this very moment, Hunter quietly follows Crosshair, and that's what leads to him seeing Crosshair pick up Mayday and the other regs' helmets.

(Hunter lurking in the back right. I'm obsessed with this shot.)

Remember, Hunter is observing this as someone who remembers Crosshair not wanting anything to do with the regs. He antagonized them perhaps the most out of any other in the squad during their arc in The Clone Wars, and he even told Hunter in S1E15 that the Batch was superior to the regs, and to most other soldiers in general. Hunter seeing Crosshair treat these reg helmets with such reverence is such a strong indication to him that something major has shifted for Crosshair, and it had likely happened on this planet.

But Hunter, again, knowing his brother, remains a quiet observer. It would've been easy for him to engage here, but he recognizes that Crosshair needs this moment to himself. Hunter even leaves him to it after. Would someone who really didn't trust Crosshair at all whatsoever turn their back to him like that? What he does is give his brother privacy, and acknowledge that he needs to know what happened... but this isn't the right place or time to be pressing him about it.

Danger is lurking, though, and Hunter's desperation to know the truth so he can be better equipped is growing. It hits a peak when Crosshair, prompted by Batcher's barking, checks the perimeter by himself. Pay close attention to how Hunter reacts to Crosshair's exit.

It isn't really anger in this expression. Wrecker's behind him is certainly one of concern. Hunter instead looks determined, and that's because he's about to pursue Crosshair to start getting answers. He's tired of not knowing, and because the stakes are starting to rise, and the evidence is all around him. Hunter decides that he's given enough space and now has to push Crosshair to talk to him.

Because, as Hunter's about to say in a few seconds, he knows Crosshair. He knows, and from what Echo says later, he's always known how to get Crosshair to talk, and it seems that it often involves some fighting and bloodshed—because Crosshair has a harder time opening up than his other brothers.

But Hunter will be damned if he doesn't try, especially now that Omega's safety could depend on this information.

Now, at last, we're at the pinnacle moment of the episode for these two characters: the fight, and another moment of weakness for Hunter. He reminds Crosshair that he knows him, and he demands this time to know what exactly happened here.

Hunter, because he knows his brother, has to push Crosshair (literally) to get anything out of him. He doesn't want this to be simple bickering like before. So, Hunter goes for a low blow. He knows that Crosshair values loyalty above all else, so he brings up Crosshair's disloyalty to both the Empire and their own squad, knowing it'll hurt him enough to get some real responses out of him.

Then comes the physical shove. This is a clear demand for Crosshair to start giving answers.

But look at how Hunter's expression changes as he waits for Crosshair to talk.

His brow softens, because Crosshair's hesitance to say or do something right away is evidence of the fact that it's something really, really serious that happened. At the end of the day, he's just worried for his brother. He wants to know, needs to know, so he can help him. It almost looks like he's pleading for an answer here.

And Crosshair does answer truthfully, revealing that he killed Lt. Nolan. Hunter is obviously shocked, and he even has a somewhat guilty reaction to Crosshair saying "after they betrayed me", because, I mean, we all know Hunter's been harboring guilt for leaving Crosshair behind.

That's when Crosshair digs his claws in to protect himself, too, also going for low blows against Hunter—starting with Hunter ignoring the warning Crosshair had sent from Tantiss.

(What's really telling to me here is that Hunter doesn't once defend himself when he easily could have. He could have told Crosshair that he was the only one who wanted to listen to Crosshair's warning, but that his and the rest of the squad's desire to try to save Crosshair ultimately won out. But he doesn't. He just takes it.)

Hunter only starts to get really angry when Crosshair gets Omega involved.

Hunter turned Crosshair's loyalty against him, so Crosshair turns Hunter's protectiveness against him. Imagine being a protector like Hunter, who's even more fiercely protective of Omega, and being told that after months of desperate, worried searching, you're the reason why the person you care the most about went through their worst bout of suffering.

Yeah, that stings. Especially because there's truth to it, the part about his jealousy towards Crosshair being the one to free her instead of himself. Hunter no doubt felt like he had failed as Omega's protector by losing her to the Empire, and not only that, but the brother he left behind had to be the one to bring her back to them.

(I also think that, in reading between the lines in this entire part of Crosshair's argument, he could even be insinuating that Hunter's shouldering the blame for Tech's death. If he knows the details, then he knows that ultimately, Hunter's the one who approved the mission. "You ignored it", in reference to Crosshair's message, could mean that both Tech and Omega could have been safe if Hunter had simply made the right call. It may not have been intentional on Crosshair's part, but I could easily see Hunter thinking that, especially if he already felt guilty about it.)

No wonder why these two are about to fist fight in the snow. Their ugliest, scariest monsters have finally come out.

And that's when the scary monster comes out, too.

(I love the symbolism!)

Hunter immediately snaps back into his protector mode. He warns Crosshair to move, but also physically shoves Crosshair out of the way and takes his previous place, making himself the one who's closest to the threat.

(Hunter does this a lot with his squad, by the way.)

They focus on getting to safety, and then figuring out a plan with the others to get the wyrm back outside the perimeter. This is when Hunter insists that they have to make sure the wyrm is drawn out that far so that they're not trapped inside with it, and Crosshair volunteers to take it on his own. But Hunter's not okay with that.

You would think that Hunter would want to be as far away from Crosshair as possible after what just transpired, but he doesn't. Instead, in this moment, Hunter is assuring Crosshair that he doesn't have to do things alone anymore, that they're brothers at the end of the day, and he wants to help. I think this is Hunter's first true attempt at making a truce with Crosshair, and attempting to extend his hand to him.

Of course, Crosshair snaps back asking Hunter if he's sure that's what he wants, and that leads to a moment of tension—but notice that, unlike the other times, Hunter doesn't retaliate. He understands with more clarity now why Crosshair's lashing out. Crosshair's hurting.

So, in teaming up with Crosshair here, Hunter knows he can mend what's most important to Crosshair by proving it with his actions: loyalty.

If anything, what Crosshair lashing out here and what Hunter going with him proves is that Crosshair's mostly hurt that he's lost the loyalty/trust of his brothers. When they get out there and Hunter's trapped underneath the ice, left to rely on his brother for guidance and rescue, it allows Crosshair to mend that sense of loyalty and trust. He can earn it back.

Not because Hunter necessarily needs him to do that, although it certainly is helpful, but because Hunter knows that Crosshair needs that. Crosshair needs to feel reliable to them again.

That's what's so perfect about Hunter's safety literally being in Crosshair's hands here. They're able to banter the way they likely would've during the war, and Hunter doesn't hesitate when Crosshair extends his rifle to pull him up and get him out of the hole in the ice.

Hunter gets proof that he can indeed trust Crosshair with his life again, and Crosshair gets that proof, too. Because, at the end of the day, they're just an eldest and youngest brother. Youngest siblings (I say as a youngest child myself) are often looking for validation and trust from their older siblings, especially the eldest. This display of trust must've been so, so validating and healing for Crosshair.

That brings us back to that first line of dialogue I highlighted: "I know you." Hunter knew Crosshair was hurting like this all along, and while he was struggling between his protectiveness over Omega and his concern for Crosshair, he was finally able to make his brother's journey to healing happen.

We then get the nods of mutual trust, understanding, apologies, and forgiveness, before they sit in peace together.

(This is one of my favorite shots in all of Star Wars. I mean, come on.)

I love how the shift in their dynamic is evident enough that everyone recognizes it once they get back. They hug it out with Wrecker, and then we shift into one of the most meaningful dialogue exchanges we'll ever get between them.

Now that Crosshair's laid more of his vulnerabilities out on the table, he seeks reassurance in Hunter. Again, youngest siblings so often just want to feel validated by their older siblings, especially the eldest. Crosshair's looked to Hunter to lead him and guide him his whole life. This is why the guilt's so evident when he comes clean about making mistakes with the Empire.

It would've been so easy for Hunter to say yeah, you did make mistakes, you did hurt us and many innocent people. Instead, Hunter says these simple few words that carry so much weight:

Hunter takes on that burden with Crosshair. He lets his own vulnerabilities show by saying, yeah, I'm with you there, there are things I wish I hadn't done, either. He then gives him reassurance and hope by saying that they can forge a new path forward, that they're not tied down by who they used to be, nor what bad decisions they made.

Hunter is putting them on the same level here, and for someone like Crosshair, who probably thought his brothers would never trust him nor accept him the way they used to because of what he's done, this means everything.

(I also feel like Crosshair really needed to hear the "I have regrets too" line from Hunter in particular. He needed a hint that Hunter really did regret leaving him behind, even if it was the best/safest option for the rest of the squad at the time. You can certainly still regret doing something, even if it was the best option at that time.)

In summary, The Return is about not just a return to Barton IV, but a return to who Clone Force 99 used to be. Crosshair's return to his squad, the return of their trust in him and vice versa. A return to the familiar.

Hunter didn't handle this perfectly, nor would anyone who was in his shoes with all these complicated relationships and trauma, but he did his best. Even while caught between his concern for Crosshair and his fierce protectiveness of Omega and the members of his family that he had left, Hunter still found a way to make things right. He completed both objectives.

For as much as Crosshair needed to have the trust of his family back, Hunter needed the reassurance that he could still keep his entire family safe on missions like these. He needed to know he could still take care of them, physically and emotionally.

And he succeeded.

#imagine being able to watch this episode and be normal about it. not me!#tbb hunter #tbb crosshair #the bad batch #star wars #star wars meta #clone force 99 #analysis #sunny yapping yet again about hunter and crosshair what's new

186 notes · View notes

lookingforhappy · 7 months ago

Text

thnk u @air--so--sweet for pointing out the tua prop auction, i am obssessed so ofc im now writing up my own transcripts for stuff. i bet someone else has done this but i couldnt find it so here's my record of it:

this is from Reginald's red book in s1 (i presume the dates are written day/month/year as Reginald is english)

transcript:

"#00.01 Behaviour Part 4 -When given opportunity, he acts in accordance to my expectations, and to my instruction, and only to my expectation and instructions. Further experiments needed to figure out the extent of his blind loyalty. -Unknowable at this time if this productive for the cause or detrimental for the cause. 4/03/01 Conducted experiment in which I sent #00.01 to this woods to watch for threats. Not only did he not ask about said threats, he found ways to come up with his own possible threats. He stood watch in a weak, slight base camp from dawn until dusk, without asking if he should stay on overnight. He is still there. -Is it truly best to have the best follower be the leader??"

transcript:

"5/09/01 Another experiment conducted in which I gave #00.01 an unknowable mission, but this time had him try to lead the team in his cause. I instructed #00.01 to take the team and patrol the state beach. Up and down. Until the threat revealed itself. Within hours all members had referred to pursue mission on such little intel. #00.01 never stopped. Even after the pleading from #00.03. Whom usually shows an emotional weakness for. #00.03 Abilities Part 3 -Makes one wonder if she is all the Umbrella Academy really needs. -Her full potential makes the rest of the team look like an afterthought. -How can I convince her the team needs her? Confounded at not being able to capture a non-existent opponent flag. Their petty feud seems to know no bounds. But if the feud motivates #00.02 in a way to suceed in that types of scale, so be it. Work-load Capacity Ranking 1-#00.05 (negated by disregard for rules and safety) 2-#00.01 (enhanced by propensity to protect siblings) 3-#00.03 (strength in collaboration) 4-#00.06 (follower) 5-#00.04 (untapped and unfocused potential) 6-#00.02 (could be 1st or 6th depending on mood) Discipline Notes -Physical pain yields best results with males. -Emotional trauma yields best results with #00.03 and Klaus. Especially when inflicted on others. -Separation from group does not work on #00.02."

transcript:

"-Sensory Statistics -Visual - 21.4% -Auditory - 8.7% -Kinesthetic - 69.9% -Disorders -Likely tendency toward Oppositional Disorder (ODD) -Maternal family history of possible sociopathy (seems incongruent to dynamics with Seven; background research ongoing ref p.49) -Phobias -Darkness -Solitude -Binds Effective Behaviours Modification Techniques"

edit 03/07/2024: spelling corrections 😬

my thoughts beneath the cut:

Pic 1

interesting that Reginald seems more interested in Luther's psychology, and whether it's a mistake for him to be the leader due to his blind loyalty and strict adherence to instruction (to me, Luther reads as somewhat autistic here, following rules to the letter, but this could also be a result of childhood abuse).

Reginald's interest in Luther's blind loyalty, and experimenting on him to test where or if he has a limit on said loyalty, is very similar to the moon mission. Reginald said there was a purpose to it in s3, but maybe the purpose was testing the extent of Luther's loyalty. Maybe he was waiting to see at what point would Luther actually start to ask his father questions, or make requests of him or even outright defy him. We know Luther had started asking for more food, but maybe Reginald was pushing him further, to see at what point he'd ask to come home.

Since Reginald didn't send any of the Sparrows to the Moon it would seem like Luther's moon mission was unneccessary, but to Reginald there was nothing more important than training the children. Since Reginald seems to doubt whether having a Follower be a Leader, maybe he was trying to force Luther into a position that would help him learn how to use his own initiative?

Pic 2

this one is a gold mine.

Luther once again cannot not follow instruction or leave his work unfinished, but he's also considered to be very protective of his siblings by Reginald (which is a good thing in Reginald's books).

Allison is desperate for him to stop, but also seems like she has self-worth or anxiety issues that Reginald is unable to cure her of, likely related to her feeling like people would hate her if they knew the real her.

Diego's feud with Luther over being no.1 wasn't intentional on Reginald's side, but he didn't discourage it either as he felt it motivated Diego. Which is probably related to the fact that Diego doesn't seem to work well without the group. He also says Diego could be no.1 if he sorted out his emotions, but he ranks him in last.

Five is marked top of the group, above even Luther, but he's too opposed to rules and safety in Reginald's eyes.

Ben seems to be keeping quiet and doing as he's told, which also seems to be a good thing to Reginald.

also interesting that Klaus is referred to by name not number, and is grouped with Allison rather than with the "males".

I don't think "physical pain" refers to torture or corporal punishment, but perhaps exhaustion or intense physical regimines? Mostly because Reginald seems extremely hands off with the kids.

Pic 3

It doesn't say who this entry is about but "Oppositional Disorder" and "sociopathy" seems most consistent with Five. and now that we know his mother was a butcher, she seems the most likely candidate to have been thought a sociopath.

(edit: Although, Klaus is also suggested to have ODD in S3, this doesn't seem consistent with the earlier entry mentioning he is more receptive to emotional pain and pain inflicted on others, than to physical pain inflicted to himself. Plus, Rachel seems very emotionally intelligent, and this entry points out a positive relationship with Viktor which has always been more Five's thing)

I don't agree with the sociopath diagnosis, but it seems Reginald is hestitant to diagnose it in the first place since he notes that Five has a good relationship with Viktor, probably meaning he's not devoid of empathy.

the Phobias is also interesting. Darkness, Solitude and Binds all suggest he was forced into similar situations as Klaus and Viktor, where he had to use his powers to escape cramped conditions. the fact that he notes Solitude is one of his phobias is also v sad all things considered. plus the fact that Five is the only Brelly to sleep on a separate floor to the other 6 siblings - maybe this was Reginald's attempt to cure him of this phobia?

#tua #the umbrella academy #luther hargreeves #reginald hargreeves #tua prop auction #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #transcript

236 notes · View notes

krisluxxeeempress · 2 months ago

Text

SUN CONJUNCT MOON SYNASTRY | ASTROLOGY SYNASTRY SERIES

EVERY RELATIONSHIP HAS IT’S UP’S AND DOWNS AND NO ONE RELATIONSHIP IS PERFECT. HOWEVER, THE SUN CONJUNCT MOON IN SYNASATRY WILL FEEL LIKE THINGS ARE PERFECT BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR PERSON. LET’S JUST ADDRESS THE BAD FIRST AND MOVE ON TO THE GOOD- SIDE NOTE: THAT’S IS HOW THIS RELATIONSHIP OPERATES. THEY WANT TO ADDRESS THE BAD AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE, NOTHING LINGERS WITH THEM.

I DIGRESS. NOW, THE BAD TO BE NOTED WITHIN THIS SYNASTRY ASPECT IS THE POSSIBILITY THE PARTNERS HAVE SOME KIND OF SIBLING VIBE. BEFORE YOU GET MAD, DISGUSTED OR BOTH- HEAR ME OUT. ASTROLOGICALLY, THE SUN AND MOON PLAY A ROLE IN SEXUAL PARTNERSHIPS IN WHICH DIFFERTIATES AND DEFINES A PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP FROM A ROMANTIC ONE. THEREFORE, THE SUN AND MOON ALONE DO NOT NECCESARILY ACTIVATE THE SEXUAL ENERGY, HENCE WHY I GET REALLY CLOSE SIBLING, TWIN VIBES. TO ELABORATE ON THIS FURTHER, THE SUN PERSON RECIVES COMFORT, FAMILIARITY AND A FEELING OF PROTECTION FROM THE MOON PERSON. THE MOON PERSON RECIEVES VALIDATION AND APPRECIATION FOR THEIR ABILITY TO MAKE THE SUN PERSON FEEL AT HOME IN THEIR COMPANY. IT REMINDS ME OF CLOSE SIBLINGS THAT ARE PROTECTIVE OF EACHOTHER WHO MAY TEASE AND TERROIZE THEIR SIBLINGS BUT THEY’LL BE DAMNED IF SOMEONE ELSE DOES. WHICH LEADS TO MY FOREMENTIONED POINT ABOUT THIS COUPLE GETTING ON EACHOTHERS NERVES BECAUSE THEY QUITE LITERALLY ACT, LIKE, NEED AND WANT THE SAME THING. IT’S LIKE TWINS HAVING ONE TOY AND THEY HAVE TO SHARE. AT TIMES, THE SUN PERSON WILL TRY TO DOMINATE THE MOON PERSON AND THIS IS EQUIVALENT TO A BULLLY SECRECTLY BEING INSECURE. THE SUN PERSON WILL PROJECT THEIR HIDDEN WEAKENESSED ON THE MOON PERSON, WHO IN TURN WILL ACT THIS OUT, SUBCONSCIOUSLY FOR THE SUN PERSON.

THE SUN PERSON MAY ALSO HAVE UNDERLYING JEALOUSY FOR THE MOON PERSON BECAUSE THE MOON PERSON IS ABLE TO EXPRESS EMOTION, VULNERABILITY AND GAIN SYMPATHY THAT THE SUN PERSON DOES NOT. IT’S LIKE CHILDREN GETTING IN TROUBLE BUT ONE OF THE SIBLINGS GETS A LESSER PUNISHMENT OR BLAMED FOR EVERYTHING WHICH CAN CREATE TENSION AND JEALOUSY BUT DUE TO THE LOVE THEY HAVE FOR EACHOTHER, THE SUN PERSON AT SOME POINT WILL GET OVER IT AND THEY’RE BACK TO BEING LOVING “SIBLINGS”.

TO GET AWAY FROM THE SIBLING COMPARISONS, IN ACTUALITY, THIS COUPLE WILL ARGUE AND THEY WILL GET HEATED BUT THEY TEND TO GET OVER IT QUICKLY BECAUSE THE LOVE AND NEED THEY HAVE FOR EACHOTHER OVERPOWERS THE ISSUES, JEALOUSY, AND INSECURITY THAT THEY BOTH BRING OUT IN EACHOTHER. WE OFTEN COMPLAIN ABOUT SOMEONE BEING TOO DIFFERENT FROM US BUT IT’S THE SAME WHEN SOMEONE IS TOO SIMILAR TO US AS WELL. SOMETIMES WE NEED SPACE AND THIS COUPLE IS NO DIFFERENT. THEY BATTLE WITH THE NEED OF NEEDING SPACE BUT ALSO FEELING EMPTY OF INCOMPLETE WHEN THE OTHER ISN’T AROUND. THIS SYNASTRY ASPECT PRODUCES CO-DEPENDENCY AND DESPITE THE NEGATIVE CONNOTATIONS AROUND SUCH A WORD OR DYNAMIC, I DO NOT SEE A PROBLEM WITH THIS. MOST PEOPLE WHO FEEL NEGATIVELY ABOUT CODEPENCY ARE JEALOUS THEY DEPENDED ON SOMEONE AT SOME POINT AND WAS LET DOWN. LET’S BE REAL.

THIS LEADS TO MY NEXT POINT. FOR THOSE WHO HAVE THIS SYNASTRY ASPECT, WITH SOMEONE YOU CAN REST ASSURRED THAT THE MOON PERSON WILL ALWAYS HAVE YOUR BACK & THE SUN PERSON WILL ALWAYS HAVE YOUR BACK- RIGHT OR WRONG. THIS MAKES OTHERS MAD ESPECIALLY IF FOR EXAMPLE, THE SUN AND MOON ARE CONJUNCT IN LIBRA OR 7TH HOUSE CONSIDERING LIBRA AND 7TH HOUSE ENERGY DEALS WITH THEMES OF JEALOUSY, ENVY AND SADLY, 3RD PARTIES TRYING TO TAKE WHAT YOU HAVE BUT I DIGRESS. DESPITE THE SIGN THE SUN AND MOON ARE IN WITH THIS SYNASTRY, OTHERS WILL TRY SO HARD TO BREAK YOU UP BECAUSE THEY ARE JEALOUS, THEY DO NOT HAVE SOMEONE THEY CAN DEPEND ON NO MATTER WHAT. THIS IS ANOTHER WHY I INTIIALLY COMPARED THIS SYNASTRY TO THAT OF SIBLINGS. THE FAMILIES OF THIS COUPLE WILL WELCOME THEM IN LIKE THEY’RE A DAUGHTER/ SON FROM ANOTHER MOTHER LITERALLY. BOTH FAMILIES WILL LOVE THEIR PARTNER AND BECOME SO CLOSE.

IT’S VERY HARD TO BREAK THIS COUPLE UP BECAUSE FAMILIES ARE INVOLVED AND FOR THE SUN PERSON, THEIR MOON PARTNER PLAYS A MAJOR ROLE IN THEIR IDENTITY AND HOW THEY’RE SEEN BY OTHERS. WHEN WE HEAR OF COUPLES WHO “ YOU DON’T SEE ONE WITHOUT THE OTHER”, IT’S DESCRIBING THIS SYNASTRY ASPECT. I CAN SEE THIS SYNASTRY PLAYING OUT AS CHILDHOOD, MIDDLESCHOOL, HIGHSCHOOL OR COLLEGE SWEETHEARTS- EVEN THE GIRL OR BOY NEXT DOOR.

THIS SYNASTRY ASPECT CAN ALSO PLAYOUT WHERE THEY PRODUCE BABIES AT A YOUNG AGE BUT STAY TOGETHER AS ADULTS AND MAYBE EVEN ELDERHOOD- IT’’S A BONUS IF THEY HAVE BIG FAMILIES THOUGH THAT MAY VARY IF PERHAPS THE SUN AND MOON ARE CONJUNCT IN AQUARIUS FOR EXAMPLE.- BUT YOU GET THE POINT. THIS IS A SWEETHEART SYNASTRY. THE SUN PERSON ABSOLTULEY LOVES, ADORES AND NEEDS THE MOON PERSON AND THE MOON PERSON FEELS THE SAMEX 2 , THOUGH IT’S NO COMPETITION. THIS ASPECT ALSO IS VERY TRADITIONAL SO IF THE MOON PERSON IS THE WOMAN, SHE’ WOULD BE “EXPECTED” TO HAVE THE CHILDREN, STAY HOME, TEND TO HOME, AND CATER TO THE NEEDS OF HER MAN AND FAMILY.

THE SUN PERSON WILL BE THE PROVIDER, ESPECIALLY IF HE’S THE MAN AND HE WILL BE VERY LOYAL, LOVING AND DEVOTED. IN THE VICE VERSA, IF THE MAN IS THE MOON PERSON- HE WILL STILL PROVIDE AND BE ALL THE THINGS I LISTED ABOVE HOWEVER, HE WILL BE MORE EMOTIONALLY EXPRESSIVE WHEREAS, THE SUN PERSON BEING THE WOMAN WILL BE MORE DOMINANT, MAKING ALL THE DECISIONS AND HANDLING THE FINANCES- THE FINANCES THE MOON PERSON, IF HE’S A MAN MAKES. HA.

A FRIEND OF MINE HAD A CO WORKER WHO ALLOWED HIS “OLD LADY” TO HANDLE ALL THE FINANCES, HOUSEHOLD, CHILDREN AND TO MAKE DECISIONS AND ALL HE WAS EXPECTED TO DO WAS GO TO WORK. WHENEVER HE GOT PAID, HIS ENTIRE CHECK WENT TO HIS WIFE, WHOM HE REFERRED TO AS “OLD LADY” AND SHE TOOK CARE OF EVERYTHING. HE DIDN’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING BUT GOING TO WORK AND HE LIKED IT THAT WAY. SO IF THE MOON PERSON IS THE MALE, THE RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC MAY MANIFEST THIS WAY BUT DUE TO THE UNCONDTIONAL LOVE AND TRUST THEY BOTH HAVE FOR EACHOTHER- IT WAS NEVER A PROBLEM.

I REMEMBER TELLING MY FRIEND, WHO TOLD ME ABOUT THIS COUPLE, “ MAN I WISH I TRUSTED AND LOVED SOMEONE THAT MUCH TO ALLOW ME TO DO THAT”. WITH ME SAYING THAT COMES FROM A PLACE OF ADMIRATION BUT FOR OTHERS, IT’LL BE OUT OF JEALOUSY. IF THAT MAN IS THE MOON PERSON, OTHERS WILL JUDGE HIM BY CALLING HIM “PUSSY WHIPPED” AND WHATEVER ELSE THEY CAN MUSTER UP. IF THE MOON PERSON IS THE WOMAN, MOST MODERN WOMAN WHO ARE MORE THAN LIKELY BITTER SINGLE BABY MOMS OR INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DON’T NEED A MAN, WILL JUDGE THE MOON PERSON BY ACCUSING HER OF BEING IN A CONTROLLING RELATIONSHIP, OR GROWING UP TOO FAST OR TRYING TO INFLUENCE HER TO FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO GET MORE EXPERIENCE.

HAVE ANY OF YOU SEEN LOVE AND BASKETBALL? MONICA AND QUINCY WERE THE MAIN CHARACTERS AND THEY HAD A CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART VIBE GOING ON- GRANTED IN COLLEGE THEY BROKE UP BECAUSE OF COURSE OTHERS DREW A WEDGE IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP IN ADDITION THEM TRYING TO PURSUE THEIR CAREERS AND OWN IDENTITIES WITH SOME JEALOUSY BEING MIXED IN.

EVENTUALLY THEY GOT BACK TOGETHER, GOT MARRIED, HAD THE KID AND SUCCESSFUL CAREERS IN THE END. SO, THOUGH I MENTIONED ABOVE, IT WOULD BE VERY HARD TO BREAK THIS COUPLE UP, IT REMAINS TRUE. THEY CAN PHYSICALLY BREAK UP BUT THEIR HEARTS AND MINDS ARE ALWAYS ATTACHED TO EACHOTHER.- ALWAYS.

FOR THOSE ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN- IF YOU COME ACROSS SOMEONE WHO HAS AN EX AND THEY SHARE THIS SYNASTRY ASPECT, WITH THAT EX, I WOULD JUST MOVE ON BECAUSE YOU MAY HAVE THEM PHYSICALLY BUT THEIR EX WILL ALWAYS BE THERE AND THE UNIVERSE WILL ALWAYS LEAD THEM BACK TO EACHOTHER.

#astrology #krisluxxeeempress #astrology observations #astro community #astro observations #astrologer #astrology aspects #sun conjunct moon #moon synastry #sun synastry #love astrology #astro notes #composite chart #synastry #natal chart

117 notes · View notes

pollyanna-nana · 1 year ago

Text

“I can’t help anyone…”

An analysis of Kieran and how it relates to his most controversial scene.

Warning for Indigo Disk DLC spoilers ahead

——————

Greetings! I’ve made it no secret that, despite what some people think of him, I am very fond of Kieran Pokémon’s little emo ass. As a result, when perusing the tags I’ve been bombarded with a lot of very… questionable takes regarding his personality and character, which I simply do not agree with. In particular, I’ve seen a lot of interpretations of a specific scene that I don’t think get at the heart of the story and have some fundamental misunderstandings of the subtextual clues we’re given about how Kieran and Carmine were raised, and I wanted to take the opportunity to present my own interpretations and how I have come to understand this young boy’s complex journey to self acceptance.

This scene, right here, has been the source of many specific complaints I’ve seen regarding Kieran’s character. I’ve seen people saying that his actions here make him a bully, that he’s shaming a fellow student for having troubles at home, and generally is an unpleasant, entitled person. And while I think there’s definitely some truth to those points (and they make him all the more interesting…) I don’t think a lot of these people are thinking about what this scene is really trying to tell us.

Yes, it’s showing the player that Kieran has changed since we last saw him. That his shy, kind demeanor has been supplanted by a stark cruelty that was hinted at in the end of Teal Mask, and that we have reason to fear and fear for him. However. I would argue that it also serves to tell us more about what Kieran himself has dealt with as a student at Blueberry academy. Specifically...

Kieran’s struggle with identity and self worth.

From the earliest segments of Teal Mask, we get strong indications that Kieran has quite the inferiority complex. Worse still, said feelings are reinforced by the people around him, knowingly or not. Here, when Carmine tells us that Kieran's "nearly as strong as she is", we know she simply means to compliment us in her own Carmine-ish way. However, purposefully or not, it reinforces Kieran's idea as someone who is always, at best, almost good enough. Almost as strong as his sister. Never as or more.

He tells the player that he'll hang back, not wanting to get in our way. With no prior prompting, either. How many times has he been made to feel that he was a burden? I adore Carmine, but one of her most pressing flaws is her struggle to make Kieran feel loved and wanted. Which, is actually pretty normal between siblings as she herself is a child. But still, given how much Kieran clearly loves and respects her, her words hold a lot of weight. And it's only Carmine who we get to see treat Kieran this way. While it's possible it's coming almost entirely from her, I'll discuss later why I think it may be more complicated than that. For now, though, it's clear that Kieran himself thinks very lowly of his abilities and would rather stay out of people's way, lest they berate him for perceived inadequacies.

He's had problematic behavior modeled for him by Carmine.

Here, too, we see how Carmine's treatment of him reinforced some very negative ideas of interpersonal conflict and resolution. All throughout Teal Mask, Carmine is telling him to shut up and be quiet, and does what she thinks is best for him without consideration for how it may make him feel. No physical violence, but emotional abuse is abuse all the same. While we know that she was ultimately trying to do what was best for him, and had very good reasons for keeping secrets, its undeniable that the words she used only further reinforced the idea that the strong will push around the weak, and that they have no need for anyone who falls behind in some way.

This scene in particular is fascinating, as we get to see first hand the kind of dynamic that pushed his feelings of inadequacy towards the breaking point. Here, after the player and Carmine run into Ogerpon for the first time, he thinks her weird behavior is because they were making fun of him. It's already sad that he would jump to that conclusion, but then Carmine smiles through his entire dialogue and says nothing. No reassurance, no denial, nothing. Kieran walked away from this conversation thinking that his sister and his new friend were talking about how much they dislike him. Speaking from personal experience, constantly feeling like people are talking about you behind your back at a young age can lead to you becoming brutally honest in a maladaptive way, and it can lead to people thinking you're cruel and unkind because you refuse to keep your thoughts to yourself.

Generational trauma, neurodivergence and cycles of abuse.

Here is where we leave screenshot land for a bit and I talk more about things that I suspect to be true, but cannot ultimately prove. However, I ask that you bear with me here and consider what may be going on above the heads of the child protagonists in a children's video game. (After all, if some people can write whole essays comparing Kieran's behavior to some very serious real-world events... I think I am within my right here!)

Kieran and Carmine, to me, match very strongly with the idea that they came from a bad home life. I don't necessarily mean their grandparents, as they seem nice enough (though flawed), but instead that their parents, whoever they were, contributed substantially to their strained relationship and problematic behavior. This post may seem very Carmine-negative, but I actually do not blame her for what she's done, not really. I do think that she has the agency and experience to take responsibility for how she's treated her brother, but I also think that it is something that was modeled for her by her parents, caretakers and teachers. I think it's very important to keep in mind in all conversations about these two that negative behaviors like these rarely manifest out of the ether. When I see child characters acting this way, I think less "wow, what horrible people!" and more "who in your life is modeling this kind of behavior for you?"

Full disclosure: I am an older sister myself, and my younger sister is very close to me in age in the same way that I see Carmine and Kieran as being. I see a lot of myself in her, which is why I deeply understand her frame of mind in everything here. Being expected to be the emotionally mature one in a sibling dynamic is difficult when you're so close in age, and it can lead to a lot of frustration as you feel like you're made to grow up too fast while your younger sibling is shielded from responsibility. It also doesn't help if the adults in your life model a lot of negative behavior, especially power dynamics, and if you have any sort of neurodivergency.

Speaking of... I wholeheartedly agree with the interpretations of the siblings having some combination of autism, ADHD, BPD or several other potential conditions. I won't go into depth, but without question there's something going on with them that's both untreated and misunderstood by those around them. Which, makes a lot of sense considering where they come from. Kitakami is a small nation, mostly agriculture based, and Carmine in particular is very resistant to the idea of it becoming a tourist destination for wealthier countries. They may not have the resources and infrastructure, along with cultural awareness, to properly diagnose and treat certain mental health conditions. Kieran doesn't even have a phone!

Something I don't see mentioned often is how Kieran and Carmine being at Blueberry is more than likely a very isolating experience for both. Being at a prestigious school in Poke-America, when coming from rural Poke-Japan, must've been a very difficult transition. Given that it doesn't seem like ANY of the adults in their lives are interested in their mental and physical well-being, I can only imagine that exacerbated their already existing issues. Not to mention that the culture of BB seems to be overly concerned with strength in battles, it's no wonder that both children's worst traits were made to fester over time.

Entitlement and disenfranchisement

Okay, enough of that. Back to screenshots. Here I want to talk about how some people interpret Kieran as being bratty and entitled, and while I don't necessarily disagree, I think with the context of everything previously laid out in this post that it's a lot deeper than simple entitlement. We know, from his own words, that all he wants is acceptance, independence, and meaningful human connections. To him, that comes in the form of strong pokemon (acceptance at the academy), going anywhere he wants (feeling empowered and self-confident), and being able to make friends with "anyone". Any friends at all, really.

While his "I worked so hard, and for what?! I STILL lost in the end!" can feel petulant and whiny, it also cuts deep for anyone who has grown up without. I think it's very important to note that Kieran is at precisely the age when systemic inequalities really start to weigh on someone, and before the brain and life experiences are developed enough to handle it in a healthy way. While some cope better than others, for many around this age the weight of knowing that there are people out there who simply have more than you ever will not by any sort of effort or triumph, but rather than the dumb luck of birth into a wealthy, privileged setting... well, it can be crushing.

It's something most grow out of, but for a kid like Kieran, who was so obsessed with the story of a genuine injustice (Ogerpon vs. the 'loyal' three), is it any wonder that he would react this way? The player is a particularly extreme example, of course, as protagonist powers are some real bullshit. Coming to terms with the fact that the system has failed him, but he can still achieve great things and become a person he can be proud of, is something that will probably only come with time and wisdom as it does for most of us. In the interim, though, petty teenage tantrums are to be more or less expected.

Feeling powerless.

In case you think I'm extrapolating far too much, I think it's important to note that, after the severe shock that was Terapagos breaking out of its own ball, Kieran reinforces all of these ideas himself. Here, when Carmine is begging him to help you, he refuses not because of hatred of you but rather his own self-doubt and loathing. Which, ultimately, has always been the core of everything Kieran has done up to this point in Indigo Disk's plot. He believed so strongly that if only he could become stronger, then he could prove to everyone, and more importantly himself, that he was worthy of taking up space and achieving his own dreams. But it's here, when everything truly comes crashing down around him, that the facade slips and shows Kieran as he truly is- a little boy who feels helpless in his current circumstances.

I've seen people say that when he cries after becoming determined to help you defeat Terapagos, it's out of jealousy or anger. However, I couldn't disagree more. The light returning to his eyes shows, in my view, that Kieran feels hope for the first time since he had his dreams crushed back in Teal Mask. That, even though he feels powerless, even though he's hurt people and hurt himself, he's still wanted. That he can do something meaningful, even if it's just cleaning up the mess he helped to make. (Briar don't think I've forgotten about you. You're the most culpable in this situation given you're the only adult- but I digress.)

In conclusion.

He bapy.

No but really, what does all of this even mean? I think going back and reading the conversation at the start of the post, especially if you were initially put off by it, with the context outlined here changes a lot about how one can interpret Kieran's behavior. Note that I am not trying to justify anything he said or did, but rather point out that this fictional child has some serious, unresolved issues that deserve time and thought turned towards them, especially in the way that they reflect real-world individuals and systems. Ultimately, if you want my opinion I think Kieran would be a pretty nasty person to know in real life if I was in school still, but you know what? So was I at his age. And so were most people, if I'm being honest. But that doesn't tarnish a person forever. All of life isn't high school, even though Kieran- or you, reading this right now- may feel like it is. He has a lot of growing up to do, but that's life. And in the meantime, he sure is one hell of an interesting character to follow.

#polly speaks #polly writes #pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #indigo disk #indigo disk spoilers #teal mask #pokemon kieran #rival kieran #pokemon carmine #kieran posting #character analysis #tw bullying #tw abuse #ask to tag #im tired. anyway im going grocy shopping anyone want anything from tjs

472 notes · View notes

postmortamore · 1 month ago

Text

guys the ships are great but i need you to understand just how *important* to me the platonic relationships/platonic ships are in pwaa. the fuckig... FAMILY :(

i dont even have the words for it so heres a list of non romantic character relationships (canon or otherwise) that make me lose my mind

- miles and gregory edgeworth: i need more soft content with these two. gregory just being a supportive father and miles feeling safe enough to be himself 😭 i recently read a fic in which miles talks to gregory through maya and theres a lot of potential with that concept... maybe i should add a fic like that in my "to write" list but its already soso long

- phoenix and maya: i am so incredibly soft for them i live for any interaction they have... a hugeee part of it is that their relationship reminds me so much of me and my brother, to the point where my brother literally reads mayas lines with my voice in his head ☹️☹️ theyre so siblings theyre so cute... theyre everything to me. they argue and bicker and make fun of eachother but they cant live without eachother ☹️☹️

- gumshoe and miles: gumshoes heart is soso so big and hes so loyal to miles EVEN though miles is a bitch and everyone says hes evil... gumshoe really does trust him with his life and vice versa, even if miles is emotionally constipated. i just love their dynamic

- pearl and maya and phoenix: 😭😭😭 maya and her smaller and even more clueless self. pearl latching onto maya and phoenix after losing literally every family she had and they just go along with it for her sake. phoenix is SUCH a girldad even before he actually became a father he just cannot stop being so paternal.

- franziska and miles: do i even need to say it. theyre just so ridiculously stuffy and were both raised to not show weakness or emotional but despite having that in common *they still love eachother*. they still help eachother and they still have rivalries and miles will go to her at the airport to try to steer her in the right direction so she doesnt make the mistakes that miles did.

- miles and adrian andrews: they mirror eachother. miles read her like a book because he knows exactly what she felt like. i will forever die with the headcanon that miles really did attempt suicide but it failed and he decided to leave the country. he describes her as dependent and weak willed and played up in court like he didnt care if she killed herself but miles... everyone around him said that was out of character for him. he was truly just trying to get through the case. idk brother in law miles to adrian andrews is a concept i need to explore further.

#millierambles #ace attorney #miles edgeworth #franziska von karma #phoenix wright #pearl fey #maya fey #current im on the stolen turnabout so if theres any mischaracterization due to me not playing the rest of the series i apologize #but pwaa is gonna make me go insane #silly little lawyer game

117 notes · View notes

arcade-sekai · 4 months ago

Text

Finding comfort in flickering neons…

A dream collaboration of an aspiring artist with her secret companions!

ZERO +-ox or ZERO control, sometimes abbreviated as ZC and Zerocon (ゼロコン) is a unit founded by a schoolgirl and her secret bandmates that bond over their shared ambitions.

@charactervocal02 here with my first ever big scale project released into the public! I admit I don’t have much material to post here and this is pretty much still a work in progress, but I’ve had this thing sitting around since January and I don’t want to just collect dust on it.

I will try to frequently post doodles and attempts at proper art, but I don’t have a clear schedule or routine. Everything in my life is such a mess (wwww)

The ZC story stars Odaka Momoko or P1, as she likes to be addressed; alongside Arcade SEKAI’s inhabitants, the Virtual Singers. Her band is rather small, it’s hardly a band, but one can present their music in any way they want, right?

Follow Momo on her journey of acceptance, but I beg of you, be nice to her. She is of weak heart.

tags:

#arcade sekai = general tag

#arcade sekai fa = for possible fanart

#odaka momoko or #momoko odaka

#arcade miku

#arcade rin

#arcade len

#arcade luka

#arcade meiko

#arcade kaito

#arcaseka quiz = quiz archive

#arcaseka dynamics event

[more TBA if needed]

about asks

Feel free to drop questions directed at me or at the characters themselves, greetings, nice messages or art prompts. I’ll try to get to all of them in due time, but please, do not send anything NSFW or otherwise inappropriate.

about ships

There won’t be any ships confirmed in this project, however, you can expect hints of MikuRin and KaiMeiLuka. Feel free to make ship art, but know that in canon, the Virtual Singers are incapable of true romantic attraction.

That being said, I am uncomfortable with RinLen, as I view them as siblings more than anything.

fanart + other content

Please please please don’t hesitate to make fanart or form headcanons or do any other kind of stuff! I want nothing else than the community to engage with this project. However, please make sure to somehow point to this blog so people know what you’re talking about ^_^

Also please tag me in your works! I absolutely do not mind the extra notification + it’s easier for me to find that way!

I will make weekly or monthly fanart highlights if this ends up blowing up…

launch tags

@mirpkechi @bobcross1010 @sillystringstar @vee1021 @sillysillynoodles

go forth and spread this around /j

#arcade sekai #project sekai #pjsk #prsk #pjsekai #proseka #puroseka #project sekai colorful stage #colorful stage #project sekai au #project sekai oc #hatsune miku #kagamine rin #kagamine len #odaka momoko #vocaloid

74 notes · View notes

strawberryfloofs · 23 days ago

Text

I am love with the idea of a sibling + cg dynamic "I wanna hava tea pawty! dun wanna pway dino library!" I'd pout and fuss at my sibby, "tea party borin! dino library bedder!" Our CG would interrupt our bickering and try to compromise. "You two don't need to fight, I'm sure you can come up with something together, mhm? Mama can help if you'd like." I would whine but nod, and my sibby is reluctant too- but we both wanna play and have fun so we give Mama's idea a shot! I set up a royal tea party with my stuffies and bring out my velcro food to serve. "Oh Mrs Flufferbum, das too much, dont chu think? Flipper- Nugget- we ran out of golden oranges if that's oka-" Mama throws a dino stuffie at one of my attendees and I gasp "AAAhh Flufferbum! Oh gosh! Wha I do?! I needa dino exper!" I look around as I try to get the dino off her, and then I see my sibby with their dino book, running over. "Wibrarian, you gotta help Mrs Flufferbum! We was habin a tea party and out of nowher der was dis BIG VIOLENT dino dah attack her!! I twy pull it off but it no worki!" I notice the dino stuffies around them and squeak "DOS R DANEROUS!" I'd point. "Kami-" I'd come up with a silly name "My name is Flooferpup!" "Yes I sowwy, Flooferpup these my dino pets! They nice, and dinos ACTWUALLY have a weakness, tickles! Das how u make them nice like mine!" My sibby explains and I nod, grabbing their hand and leading them to poor Flufferbum "Huwwy! Tickle it together!" I squeak and we tickle attack the dino, saving Flufferbum. "Wibrarian! Chur a hewo! Danks to yous, Flufferbum is kay and now we has a pet dino butler! Howda kno dah?" "Well I ACTWUALLY a dino scientis- is a super secwet job- I just pwetend to be a Wibrarian, sees?!" My sibby tells me all the dino facts and stuffs at my tea party with our new butler! Our CG was watching the whole time and smiles at us playing together nicely. "Those are my good kiddos."

51 notes · View notes

riahreadz · 3 months ago

Text

Random post but here we are in my statistics class avoiding paying attention so let's get to the point.

My favorite tropes, micro-tropes, minor details, etc. in Teen Wolf fics, listed cause why not:

Stiles doing everything in his power to protect the Hales. Spark or not, the Hales are his family, and he'll either die protecting them or kill anyone in sight that threatens them.

I'm all for angst - angstier, the better, okay? So when there's some big bad that has to do with fire, or just some random flame and Stiles noticing Derek and Peter's becoming nervous around it? Or his strong need to protect them from anything to do with fire. It's chefs' kiss 🤌🏼

Despite loving angst, I NEED a HAPPY ending. Because of this I always read the last paragraph/sentence/scene to make sure it's happy and only read finished fics. It works okay?

Peter hates everyone but Stiles. He's actually quite weak for the human/spark. Stiles knows he can get away with just about anything because he's got Peter wrapped around his finger.

Stiles being the only person to know where Peter's home/den is.

Peter, being just so soft with Stiles, warms my heart. Obviously, Peter is bad, but make it make sense for him to be bad. And the best way to do this? Protecting what's his - Stiles, his den, his pack.

The endless nicknames. Like I get some of these come from the show, but I'm talking about the dramatic usage of them. Zombiewolf, Creeperwolf, Sourwolf, Red, etc.

Stiles obsession with Derek's eyebrows and his ability to interpret them!

When a fic expresses Peter, being touched starved gets me every time. The angst! And how it's always Stiles to the rescue and noticing this.

The thin line between love and hate, enemies and friends/lovers/mates between Chris and Peter. The build up to them as teens, blow out break up cause of the family dynamics or the fire and Chris leaving to protect coma Peter! bonus if Chris leaves a letter or some type of communication for Peter for when he wakes and then coming together to defeat the Argents once and for all, or just simply living out the rest of their life in peace finally together.

When Peter and Chris are together romantically and as pack Alpha/Alpha Mate and are raising Allison and Malia together. Like idc what age the girls are at, but they're sisters. Peter is Allison's dad, Chris is Malia's dad.

Stiles/Peter/Chris and honestly they fit into any micro/trope I mention about Peter/Chris.

Stiles figuring out how to go back in time to save Allison

The pack bonds between Stiles, Erica and Boyd.

The brother/sister love between Derek and Erica.

The deep sighs Derek and Boyd share when they act to be put off by their mates Stiles and Erica but in reality are so in love with them that they just find every little thing their mates do as cute.

The absolute beautiful friendship between Stiles and Lydia.

Bad friend/bad alpha Scott

Sheriff Stilinski (Noah or John?) realizing his son's love and connections to the Hales - bonus points if he sees it before Stiles realizes he's in love with Derek or Peter. And just accepting it, whether he puts rules in place or not.

I even enjoy seeing some Malia and Jackson are actually twins reuniting as siblings and Peter as their dad.

I didn't know I'd enjoy this one, but Sheriff Stilinski and Jordan 🤨 never really cared for Jordan but I'm on board with this ship.

And on that note - Malia and Kira but as a side ship. Don't really care to read them as a main ship.

Issac having attachment/dependency issues with Derek. Straddling the edge of brothers or even Derek sorta being a father figure.

Stiles straddling his love interest - Derek, Peter, or Chris. Literally has me squealing every. damn. time.

Murder husbands Stiles and Peter.

Derek or Peter and Stiles leaving Beacon Hell. Bonus points if they gather the pack along the move.

The ideal pack depends on who Stiles is with especially when it comes to dynamics (I've rewritten this point so many times but need more than a bullet point to describe this so it'll be another post that I'll connect to this post eventually. )

Peter taking care of Stiles after the nogitsune. At any level. Literally could be just being someone for Stiles to talk to or hang out around cause he knows Peter isn't judging or having to physically care for Stiles cause he's dissociating.

Stiles and Jackson forming a bond over their shared trauma of being controlled by the nogitsune/kanima

I love the idea of Peter wisking Stiles away from Beacon Hills rather to heal or permanently.

But I love it when Stiles stumbles or intentionally finds Derek outside Beacon Hills.

Neck scenting 🤝 neck biting

I love a good magical Stiles and Peter being proud/impressed

I loveeeeeee when Stiles calls Peter his Alpha and Peter's eyes flash cause he just can't control himself 100% around his boy + or cause he never thought he'd have this Alpha power, Stiles, a home, a Pack

The easy banter between Stiles and Peter

But the silent communication between Derek and Stiles - cause od the eyebrows obviously- or just cause they can read each other so well

Stiles standing up to Scott for Derek due to the Gerald instance of having Derek bite him

Or Stiles standing up and defending Peter or Derek against Scott

Teen Wolf Movie fix it - Derek doesn't die or he does and Stiles brings him back

Stiles. Is. Eli's. Dad. In every way that matters. Rather that's biological or not. Mpreg, adoption, etc. Doesn't matter. Eli is Derek and Stiles's son.

Peter taking care of the Sherrif to please Stiles rather than taking him healthy food, eating lunch with him, etc. Bonus if it starts during the healing from Nogitsune when Stiles can't quite get back to feeling normal again.

Window creeping. Derek or Peter starting the sneaking in and out of Stiles window that eventually turns into anyone from the pack.

Derek or Peter healing Stiles, physically bandaging him up and/or using their wolfy mojo black vein pain stealing thing

JUST ONE BED 😱

Slow burn enemies to lovers. This works for both Steter and Sterek. Even Stetopher.

Mate bite placement theory ✨️

I think that's it for now. I'll probably add more and more eventually or as I read even more fics 🤣 idk why I even wrote this all us but okayy.

Eventually imma write up ideal packs and dynamics from the perspective of Alpha Derek or Peter, given Steter, Sterek, and Stetopher. And specific tropes/micro given which ship.

Comment some of your favs! I need more ideas lol

#teen wolf #steter #sterek #stiles stilinski #derek hale #peter hale #stetopher #petopher #chris argent

58 notes · View notes

prophecyofwinter · 5 months ago

Text

Se Riña Qilōni Iprattan Se Jēdar | VII

Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Summary | Saera Targaryen, daughter of King Jaehaerys I, ran away from Westeros to escape her fate. 45 years later her daughter Y/N Targaryen, with an invitation from King Viserys wishes to go back.

Tags | Angst, Slowburn (Hot&Cold), TargCest, Smut, Standard ASOIAF content, Aemond and Reader are First Cousins Once Removed, Reader is Self-serving, Terrible Sibling Dynamics, Fluff, Attempted Sexual Assault tags to be added

Special warnings | Violence against women, Incel-like behavior, descriptions of injuries, sexual assault, Parental Abuse

Word Count | 3.6k

Authors Note | Last extremely lore heavy chapter for a while. I will be giving a nice treat for next chapter!!! ✨

Prologue | Chapter VI | Masterlist

Chapter VII | My Brothers Keeper

You were awoken by a deep, carnal pain from your lower back. Your back arched up as you gasped yourself awake. You must’ve turned over wrong and put your full body weight on your bruise. Letting the weight off did absolutely nothing, the pain and throbbing persisted anyway.

You felt a pressure rising in your throat alarmingly fast, cupping your hand over your mouth you dash over to your chamber pot and let your insides empty out. You started dry heaving over the pot with not much besides liquid, you hadn’t had anything to eat since you broke your fast yesterday morning. The pain mixed with starvation made your stomach stir in such a way as to bring you to this point.

You manage to stand yourself back up on wobbly feet. If not for the gigantic bruise on your lower back you wouldn’t be so humiliatingly weak. You brace yourself on the chair of your vanity and see the state of yourself.

Your hair is in tangled disarray, your face is reddened and puffy, and you look like a disaster…your maids didn’t have time to prepare you for bed at all. Ellyn must’ve been scared by the sight of Aemond; she didn’t even think about it. Is this what Aemond saw? Was this why he pulled away so suddenly? No… was it?

You’re already awake and there’s no way you can go back to sleep in this state. You shuffle to your chamber door to open to peak out into the dark stone halls, only lit by torches. Standing there for a few minutes until you flag down a maid carrying a basket of towels.

“I need to- to break my fast- my fast early.” You whisper with a tight throat. The sun had broken from the horizon moments ago, you wouldn’t be given food for a few hours if you hadn’t requested it now. The maid nodded with a ‘Yes My Princess’ and continued on her way.

You retreat into your chambers with a hiss, the throbbing pinch coming back when you walk, and a growl in your stomach.

‘What would I even eat?’ The thought hadn’t occurred to you until just now. Just soups, juices, and teas for you.

You touch your neck gently and you finch back, but then the flinch makes it hurt too. Tears start to form on your waterline and threaten to fall, crying would hurt too. Tears of pain and frustration.

This is all Vaegons fault. Vaegon is the source of your injuries, his ever-growing obsession with you has tilted his mind, your mother should've forced him to stay home, she should’ve let you go alone.

You bury your head in your hands and begin to sob regardless of the pain it brings you to move your neck. Mind swirling with so many thoughts where do you even start?

You hate Vaegon; you hate him more than you ever had before, you’ve hated him since childhood, and he’s always found a way to injure you out of frustration. You feel no sympathy for him; he knew that you would never love him, coming to Westeros guaranteed it. Vaegon has always felt entitled to you, knowing it was over was too much for him you suppose.

‘Sister! I have come to rescue you!’ Vaegon called up to you holding a wooden sword. You sat on your tall bed looking down at Vaegon with a small gold tiara on your head that was a gift from your mother.

Marra, a worker from your mother's pleasure house that normally looked after you both during the daytime sat on the bed with you to make sure you two didn’t injure yourselves.

‘No! You ruined it! I’m a Princess! Not your sister! Do it again!’ You whined at Vaegon because he ruined the whole plot. Vaegon yelled out in childlike frustration after being forced to redo his lines for what felt like the 500th time for a child this young.

Vaegon was 7 and you had just turned 6. Vaegon claimed repeatedly that he was too old for childish games like pretend, but he still did it because you demanded it. Either because he cared for his little sister or because you would beat him with his wooden sword if he said no.

‘Let’s calm down. Perhaps we’ve played too much pretend for one afternoon’ Marra laughed lightly at your childish bickering.

You huffed and fell back into the pillows on the bed. Marra move your tiara out of your hair so it doesn’t get tangled up in your hair. You tired yourself out simply from yelling at Vaegon all afternoon for not fitting your perfect ‘play pretend’ idealization of what a warrior should be.

Vaegon clamored onto the bed after a few attempts, earning a soft gasp of surprise from Marra.

‘You can get onto the bed by yourself Vaegon? You’ll be old enough to train at the Red Church soon.’

Vaegon gasped at the praise with stars in his eyes, rambling on and on about all the great things he would do for the Lord of Light. You scoffed at Vaegons ramblings, your dreams were WAY more realistic, obviously.

‘Okay, little princess. What do you want to be when you grow up?’ Marra poked your tummy and laughed.

‘Easy! I want to marry a prince!’ You scoff out childishly, so confident as if it was that easy.

‘What?! That would never happen! That’s stupid!’ Vaegon sat on his knees and mocked you.

‘Vaegon’ Marra said with a warning tone and he laid down at Marra's other side.

‘There are no Princes in Essos. So you want to marry a Targaryen Prince then? I’ve heard there are many just around your age. Lucky you, little lady’

‘Yes! I’ll claim a dragon too and we will fly high in the sky together! He’ll be beautiful with long silver hair-“ You start to ramble about your ideal Targaryen Prince until all of a sudden you feel a blunt force on your knee. You yell out and grip your knee, tears already flowing down your cheeks.

‘Vaegon! What has gotten into you!’ Marra yells out and grabs your brother by the wrists making him drop his wooden sword he struck your knee with.

You curl up in a ball sobbing in pain while holding your knee that will show a developing bruise anytime now. Vaegon is fighting back against Marra with tears streaming down his face out of frustration.

Through your tear-stained eyes, you look over to Vaegon, for the first time you see this face. Vaegons eyes have turned black, with no sign of purple at all. Pupils fully eclipsed the iris. Being held at the hands by Marra reduced him back to a sobbing boy and he collapsed into her arms.

Ellyn placed a smaller assortment of foods at your table than normal. Due to your current condition, you can only consume certain foods without harsh pain. Ellyn has taken up the task of bringing you a new kind of tea to try every day.

“A shipment just came in and I had to brew a pot for you Princess. This is blood orange tea!” She looks excited for you to try this in particular. You reach for the cup and blow on it before taking a sip while Ellyn waits excitedly. It of course is citrusy, pretty sweet, and a little tart. Pretty nice compared to the one from yesterday morning.

You give Ellyn a happy expression showing that you enjoyed it. Gods you need your throat to heal… Pure delight painted her face and she clapped her hands together before she grabbed the rest of the food. Mainly just Oatmeal and Soft Fruits.

Mela had a bath set up for you immediately after you finished eating. You let out a moan of sweet bliss as you sunk into the tub. The hot water felt ethereal, it was like a warm hug that kissed your swollen skin as a lover would. The sunlight hit the room and painted it with the colors of dawn.

“Ellyn told me that the Prince personally applied your ointment last night. Quite intimate, quite scandalous…” Mela laughed, squeezing out water from a sponge, and started scrubbing your back.

“Yes, very focused and very gentle on the Princess,” Ellyn spoke up, matching Melas' laugh.

“Oh my, attentive and gentle? You may have your hands full for the coming moons after you are wed.” Mela continued to tease in a motherly way and Ellyn giggled in the back while cleaning up from breakfast. A blush rises on your cheeks remembering the intimate moment you and Aemond shared. It became a bittersweet feeling; it hasn’t been that long since you came, but it feels like an eternity.

You hear a roar far off in the distance, you sit up with excitement in your veins when you realize it’s a dragon. This is the first one you’ve ever seen, your balcony gives you a perfect view. The grand beast took flight outside of Kings Landing, the beast was massive and so green. The dawn sky made it look so divine, so godly. You were at a loss for words. This is better than anything you could’ve dreamed of.

“Ah, right there is Prince Aemonds dragon. Vhagar is her name, the biggest dragon alive.” Mela realized it was your first time seeing a dragon. Your face was filled with childlike awe. It filled Melas' heart with joy to see you like this after the sorrow and pain of last night.

“Vhagar…” you whispered, eyes following Vhagars path in the sky.

“My Queen- I didn’t notice you entered.”

You turned to see Queen Alicent at your chamber door, you didn’t know how long she’d been there. Alicent wore her hair free and dress loose, it was extremely early, and you wouldn’t expect anyone to wear proper dress at this hour. You jumped a little at her presence, you were in a bath with no way to make yourself decent.

“We are all women here, sweet girl. Nothing I do not have myself.”

Alicent smiles and pulls over a stool next to the tub. You hold yourself together even though she can fully see your chest. She doesn’t look like she cares so you choose to ignore it.

“Your brother is in the dungeons, he will be kept there until the council knows what to do with him. It is likely that, due to his transgressions. He will be put to the sword-“

The words hit your body before they hit your mind. Without even thinking you move forward in the tub to grab and hold Alicent by the arms. Having your body fully out in the open seconds ago would’ve made you squeak into a corner but you are too shocked to care.

“No! Let him go home-“ Your sentence gets cut off when the pain on your bruises gets too rough and a wheeze rises. Mela grabs you tightly and leans you back into the tub with a scared expression pointed at you.

Alicent looks frightened herself, eyes wide, breath heavy, and leaned back in her seat, not expecting you to have such a reaction. She would’ve expected you to be at least a little joyful. Vaegon attacked and strangled you, then ran away to escape like a little girl.

You couldn’t do that to your mother. Letting your brother die in a foreign land, to a foreign man, with a foreign sword. Have him murdered while crowds got a sick kick of seeing a Targaryen bastard get their head chopped off. Would claim it would be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see a Targaryen head on a stick. You would be forced to be happy and proud about it else you would be blamed for sympathizing with him.

You don’t love him, you don’t like him, you tolerate him for your mother.

They wouldn’t understand how you hate him. They wouldn’t hate him how you do. They don’t know how

You sat at your vanity brushing your hair, about six and ten at the time. You heard the door open to your room, of course, it was Vaegon, you didn’t even have to look. He tended to let himself in, after a decade of it you couldn’t even try to bring a care.

“Vaegon I told you not to come in my room after-“Your groan was caught as a lump in your throat when your eyes looked to the corner of your mirror to see a man that didn’t have white hair or purple eyes.

“I’ll be Vaegon if you want me to.” This man said with a partly toothless smile that made your bones crack. He was ugly, with no scars or trauma, the gods just decided he was to be ugly.

You stood with quickness and ripped open the top drawer of the vanity to grab a knife that had been sitting there since the vanity had. Turning to him and holding out the knife as though you’d looked threatening.

“I always knew Saera Targaryen hid other girls around for prized keeping. I didn’t think the daughter would be the one I’d find. Lucky me.” He licked his pipes and walked toward you slowly, sometimes falsely jumping forward just to see you yell in fear and jump back. His laugh at your weakness made your stomach turn and your mind pruden.

Your grip on the knife got stronger and stronger to the point where it might’ve cut you harder than it would’ve ever cut him. You didn’t realize until your back hit the wall, that you were cornered, with nowhere to run between you and the disgusting man.

“D-Do you know who I am?! I could have you speared from ass to mouth for this!” The unconvincing tone in your voice did nothing to sway him. You can have him killed, that’s not a lie, but it didn’t sound like the truth.

He said nothing, you just now noticed the knife in his hand. It was covered in fresh blood still slowly gathering on the tip of the blade. You looked back up to him, he noticed that you noticed.

“This? There was a whore cunt walking the halls and I couldn’t have her screaming and running away. I’d had her before so there was no point in trying her again.”

Your mind went numb, you couldn’t think. Marra… it was Marra's blood. He killed Merra and left her body in the hallway, didn’t he? Marra was dead.

The woman who cared for you since you were a babe. When your mother couldn’t when your mother was too busy. She was there. Whore or not. She was your second mother. Your thoughts were jumbled and scattered.

You don’t even remember how you got here.

The next thing you see is you over his corpse with his throat slit and your arms tired from gouging your knife in and out of his skull. No one would’ve even known that he was a grotesquely ugly man, he is reduced to maimed and unrecognizable. By the strain of your arms, you had been going at it for 3 minutes uninterrupted.

You couldn’t bring yourself to stop, blood had splattered up your arms, on your chest, and dripping down your chin.

Arms wrapped around your waist and hulled you away from the man. The two of you collapsed back on the floor, you couldn’t take the knife with you, it had been driven so deep it was stuck in the floor.

You attempted to claw yourself out of the grip of your restrainer; your body was telling you, you weren’t done, you needed to keep going, it felt carnal.

“Sister! It’s alright! It’s your Big Brother!” Vaegon shook you with a tight grip around your arms and chest.

There was no way you’d be able to free yourself from his grip. Your body was forced to calm down, you collapsed into Vaegons hold. Your body was tired, all you wanted to do was sleep.

“I- I- Marra“was still delirious you didn’t know what to do. You didn’t even register it was Vaegon holding you.

“Shhh… I know sister, Shhhh…” Vaegon rocked you back and forth, rubbing your hair softly.

You barely noticed when Vaegon started to lick the blood off your face. You couldn’t muster up the energy or the thought process to feel anything about it.

“If that will bring you to peace, then… I will share your wishes with the small council.” A sigh came from the Queen's lips. Her assumptions of your character were challenged in the past 24 hours. You could tell in the way her eyes changed from when you first met her to how she looks at you now

She looks at you like a small injured chick that has fallen from the nest. The past 24 hours have ruined your reputation, you will be seen as a little foreign girl who cried like a babe. The ladies of the court will look down at you as a kicked puppy. Vaegon ruined everything before you even had a chance…

Alicent touched your hand with hers, she gave you a pitiful look.

“In the Faith of the Seven, forgiveness is a great step to take. However, your brother's attack is a matter bigger than you or I. A letter will be sent to your mother informing her of what has transpired.”

“Thank you, my Queen.” You forced your voice and a smile, she must believe you want to help Vaegon.

“Once you are healed. You are welcome to visit the sept with me.” She gave your hand a final rub and gestured to make her leave.

This wasn’t to help Vaegon at all, you wanted nothing more than for him to die. Vaegon wasn’t a kill Westeros could have, this is yours.

To slide a knife at his throat like a musician making sweet melodies on a violin. To see the despair in his eyes when he knew his sister was the one to take his life. Perhaps you would strangle him and watch life leave his eyes. Torturing him for days and nights until he gave out. Begging at your skirts with snot and tears running down his face for you to spare him. You didn’t want a crowd, this was personal, this was private.

Vaegon is yours

You stood over Marra's corpse.

Her body was cleaned, her throat sewed back up, new proper clothes dressed her body, tasteful makeup.

The man didn’t just slit her throat he sawed at it. Her head was almost off her neck but he couldn’t get through her spine.

She died just because you existed, she was simply doing what she did every day. She didn’t instigate, she didn’t bother anyone. She just happened to be alive in this man’s way to get to you.

A Red Priest wasn’t supposed to arrive for another hour to administer The Last Kiss. A death rite in the faith of R’hllor, where a Priest blows fire from his mouth into the deceased and burns them inside.

Vaegon stood behind you, unmoving, hands folded in front of his form. When you looked back at him you couldn’t tell a thing about him, he looked different. He didn’t look sad, it was something you hadn’t seen before.

He moved to stand directly behind you, his chest pressed against your back and his breath on your hair. His hands held your waist on both sides, caressing up and down gently. You pry at his hands, digging your nails into his skin and trying to shake yourself free.

“Vaegon-!”

“You need someone to take care of you now. Please allow that to be me, sweet sister.” Vaegon leaned in and kissed your cheek trying to sway you into a full kiss.

“Marra!- get the fuck off me! You’re sick, Vaegon!” You yelled, you shook and flailed to escape him but his grip simply grew tighter. He chased after your face to get a chance to get a taste of your sweet rosey lips, his left hand daring to venture lower. You continued to scream and kick to get away.

“Agh!-“ Vaegon yelled in pain abruptly, releasing you from his tight hold leaving you to sink to the ground in shock.

“How dare you Vaegon!” Your mother had a grip on the hair of Vaegons scalp as she yanked him down to the floor by his hair.

“Mommy!- I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Vaegon cried as Saera held his head up and started striking him repeatedly across the face. Vaegon could overpower your mother easily, but he would never dare in a thousand winters. He could only sit there, take it, and beg for it to stop.

You breathed heavily, bringing yourself back to witness the sight of your brother getting what was coming to him.

“Go to your room!” Your mother paused and flicked her head to you.

“But I didn’t do any-!“

“NOW!!!!” She screamed at you in a way you hadn’t heard before. You scrambled up onto your feet and hauled your ass up to your room before she could demand it again.

You heard her screams at Vaegon, relentlessly rolling off her tongue along with slapping and Vaegons pleas for ‘mommy’ to stop.

‘Did I nurse a wild fucking animal at my breast?!’ ‘Over her corpse Vaegon?!’ ‘You could have any whore in my supply and you push yourself onto my only girl?!’

You sunk back into your tub with Alicents leave. You sat like an alligator waiting for prey, emerging from the water with eyes resting above.

Perhaps being seen as weak isn’t the weakness you thought it would be. A weak woman means sympathy, it means comfort from the ladies of the court, it means your mistakes can be written off as naivety.

Your mother showed you what a conniving and smart woman looked like. You didn't cross the narrow sea to be a cowering princess.

You must pull the strings of your destiny as your mother did.

Starting small of course.

#aemond one eye #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond x reader #house of the dragon #Spotify

55 notes · View notes