#will never get into superheroes ngl
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qu0rky · 3 months ago
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will i ever watch/read that? no, probably not.
but do i still go on ao3 to search up its most popular homoerotic ship and get infodumped all the necessary lore in order to enjoy the fics? yes, give me 14 more of that.
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dukeofthomas · 2 months ago
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I just remembered that the first ever genuine attempt from me to get into DC was trying to watch Teen Titans Go
Didn't even get 5 minutes in before giving up. Oops
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angstandhappiness · 4 months ago
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LMAO but also the tags DUDE
Reverse Robin au but the ages aren't changed. Just adoption order.
#How would that-#actually no#I know exactly how this would work all things considered#A very young Duke (3 or so) is found in the wreckage of the Joker's recent attack with a cheap gasmask across his face#Too young to understand why his mom and dad kept laughing and laughing even as they were crying until their eyes closed one last time#And never woke up#It's hard to not feel your heart break when a child so much younger than he was looks up to batman from where he stands at his mother's sid#Asking with big glassy confused eyes why mommy won't wake up#Bruce is terrified that he will ruin it all#That what is quite possibly the kindest child he's ever met will turn out a bitter tired man like him#But as the months go on he finds his worry unfounded#Duke grows up as a sweetheart and the media never gets more than a glance at him#And somewhere in the intervening years he makes friends with their neighbour despite sharing no classes with him#In part because he's two years his senior. In part because the little child prodigy is eight years old and already in fifth grade classes#He has parents of his own. Yet little Tim always miraculously ends up tugged by the sleeve to Mr. Wayne's house every weekend and holiday#It'll be many years until he's a member of the family in name#but he fits in like a missing puzzle piece anyways#Even as a pair of new heartbeat joins them all when Bruce shows up after a long mission with a precious little bundle in his arms#with a little girl quiet as the night and dangerous as death clinging to the back of his cape#Along the line a few secrets are found and a couple new vigilantes rise and find their little nooks and crannies in the world of superheroe#Nothing stays perfect forever though. Tim joins the family permanently only to be ripped away again.#It's then of course#in one of Batman's worst moments#That a teenager barely scratching sixteen pulls him off some petty thief or other screaming at him to stop#Jason Todd screams and yells and forces Bruce to stand up and remember what he stood for.#Somewhere along the way a new vigilante rises in Gotham. No longer a symbol of hope or protection now#but as a symbol of justice#Someone in the shadows ready to avenge those that couldn't be saved#And then Nightwing happens. And then Tim shows back up.#....ngl I did not plan this far but if anyone reads this madness hope you enjoy this stub of a story
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incorrectbatfam · 30 days ago
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What's the scariest/weirdest thing Barbara has found in each of the batfams search history? I'm betting Tim's the weirdest ngl
Bruce: That concludes our briefing. Does anyone have any questions?
Barbara, raising her hand: Yeah. Am I still eligible for clown pensions if I leave the circus?
Dick: Excuse me?
Barbara: Never mind, I'll figure it out later. I was also wondering how much butter is in a calorie.
Steph: How'd you get that?
Barbara: And what's the address for CW studios? I wanna undo Destiel's ending.
Cullen: That was private!
Barbara: My bad. We should focus back on the case... right after I declare my legal status as a cryptid.
Cass: *whirls around*
Barbara: And I wanna start selling commissions of superheroes reimagined as a puppies and kittens.
Damian: Die.
Barbara: Also, is Vin Diesel really bald?
Duke: I was curious.
Barbara: And how do I secretly commission my brother for a drawing of me as a cat?
Tim: Stop!
Barbara: I can, after I find a group underwater pilates class.
Bette: I need a new hobby, sue me.
Barbara: Of course, so you can invent new muscles.
Luke: I'm just saying, anything's possible.
Barbara: Hopefully you don't use those muscles to steal the crown jewel of the Tamaranean royal family.
Selina: I was on incognito!
Barbara: It's okay. At least you weren't looking up a compilation of Game of Thrones spoilers to put in the family group chat.
Alfred: I have no regrets.
Barbara: Neither should anyone who enjoys clamato juice so much they order five bottles.
Helena: It's for training purposes.
Barbara: By the way, does anyone need shirtless Arsenal pics?
Jason: Bruce, tell her to quit it.
Bruce: He's right. We get it, Barbara.
Barbara: I'll stop. Just send me the name of the Superman fanfiction you've been secretly reading between the hours of two and three-thirty A.M. this past week.
Bruce: Meeting dismissed. Everyone go home.
Harper: Ha, you didn't get mine.
Barbara: Don't worry, your OSHA impersonation Tumblr is safe with me.
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thisiswhereikeepdcthings · 2 years ago
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how crazy do you think the AO3 authours notes are in gotham?
"Joker killed my grandma with a reindeer whilst playing 'grandma got run over by a reindeer' and i don't think i can continue to write this JokerBat fic anymore guys sorry :/ it just feels disrespectful."
“Look, I get if Batman/Clark Kent isn’t your cup of tea, but the guy writes more about Batman than anyone else outside of Gotham. There’s got to be a reason, is all I’m saying.”
“And here I am, jumping on the Batman/Bruce Wayne train like the rest of our beloved hellhole. Anyway, if you’re not from Gotham you can keep your criticisms to yourself or I will not be held responsible for the bloodshed that will occur should you insult our beloved sunshine child and his goth sugar baby. You don’t know them like we do.”
“Hey, sorry I haven’t updated in awhile. I died and then got caught up in this whole my-father-didn’t-avenge-me angst thing. Which was completely justified in my opinion. Anyway…”
“Let’s be honest, this entire series is dedicated to the fact that Red Hood could crush any of us with his thighs and we’d say thank you.”
“I just read a fic shipping Nightwing/Superman and I mean, come on. The author is clearly not from Gotham but I can never unsee that and I think I should be entitled to financial compensation.”
“Sorry it’s been awhile, I just got a new job! With the Best Boss™️ (if you know, you know). Also, my boss said he’d give a hundred bucks if I wrote a Batman bashing fic? Thoughts? Ngl I don’t think it’d even be that hard.”
“‘WHy aRE yoU WriTIng ABouT FakE SupERheROes WHen THe rEAl oNEs aRE riGHt tHEre?’ Uh, because it’s Gotham and they’re all a disaster? And also because I don’t want to be haunted by the venegeful spirits of robins past idk. Thinking of doing a crossover though. Batman in the Avengers? Thoughts?”
“I just want my husband Nightwing to be happy, is that too much to ask?”
“I came across Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy on my way home from school today and will now be hyperfixating on that ship, thanks.”
“Leave me and my 235k word fic of Prince!Bruce/Knight!Batman alone you Metropolis and Superman-loving traitors. This is not for you.”
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blissfullyapillow · 1 year ago
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┃Genshin + HSR men as spiderman (+ your boyfriend)
₊˚⊹♡ Various x gn reader
₊˚⊹♡ wc: 7,189
₊˚⊹♡ warnings: Baizhu. Alhaitham’s part is suggestive but nothing explicit. Caelus’ part contains a ton of references to various things (one of them being your option to choose between Caelus or Stelle when you start HSR). Overall fluffy scenarios w/ your boyfriend (who is also Spiderman) :> 
₊˚⊹♡ Pillow Talks: Some parts are proofread others aren’t (for once) because I wasn’t feeling up to it. I intentionally put Baizhu under warnings it's not a mistake, I thought I was being funny doing that lol. Ngl Caelus’ part is my fav <3 !! I have a ton of drafts I’ll eventually complete, life is just a lot for me rn. I love you all ♡(੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭ ♡ <3
₊˚⊹♡ Masterlist
Alhaitham ✮ ๋ ࣭ ⭑ 〃
always has headphones on. Even when he’s fighting. He’s literally never seen without them
He’s been offered to do collaborations with many companies to make a model of headphones off the one’s he usually wears. He never accepts, unless it’s for his go to brand.
All villains know to leave spidey’s headphones alone. The last villain who broke his old pair didn’t make it out of the fight alive.
That wasn’t a joke.
Anyway, most people don’t ask about his headphones, rather reporters are always at their wits end since they can never get an interview out of him. Not even a brief still shot of him.
Hell, most people don’t even know what he sounds like.
For the most he’s a man of few words, but when he does speak? You’ll wish he hadn’t.
Very sassy. Has the best retorts and the most vile insults.
His suit is really cool too, and very practical.
He’s a college student when he isn’t spiderman. He’s scarily efficient at juggling his part time superhero duties along with his heavy college workload. Maybe it’s because he gets all his work done way in advance? Who knows.
He’s super gentle whenever he’s rescuing civilians. At most, he’ll say a word or two in response to their gratitude. Something along the lines of “yeah.” Or “It’s no problem” if you’re lucky. Most people don’t try to make conversation anyway. As stated before, he’s really good at dodging not only reporters but cameras in general.
So, imagine your surprise when he actually stops walking away after you’ve asked him what he’s listening to. You can’t see his face, but his spidery eyes widen comically in shock.
No one has ever asked him that before. You’d think someone would, but no one has.
So, he indulges you. “I’m not listening to anything at the moment. Sometimes I’ll have music playing, but for the most part I tend to use these just to block out noise. Plus, people tend to leave you alone when they see you have headphones on. It also makes for an adequate excuse to pretend I don’t hear people speaking to me.” Your mouth drops in pure shock at the fact that spiderman not only spoke to you, but he’s also.. very.. interesting.
Oh, he likes that look on your face. You can’t see it, but he has a huge smirk on his face underneath that mask.
Alhaitham recognized you from campus. Of course he was quick and efficient with moving you to safety before he took care of the danger, but he couldn’t return you to ground level until after the fight.
Speaking of fighting, he’s really good at it. His movements are calculated and precise. You made a mental note never to get on spider man's bad side as you watched him clock the villain square in the jaw, with no regard for whether they retain consciousness or not.
“I’ll see you around.” Is all he says now, before he web slings away. Wait, see you around? But he’s spiderman!
Little did you know that spiderman was your hot, intelligent classmate you had a raging crush on.
Lucky for you, it seems he may develop feelings for you too.
𓆩♡𓆪
“I thought I told you to leave your window unlocked? I’d hate to be spotted.” Alhaitham scolds you as you unlock your window for him, and he effortlessly slips into your abode.
“I’m sorry, but I like hearing your cute little knocks on my window. It’s the highlight of my day.” Alhaitham sighs, as if he’s annoyed, but in reality your words cause his heart to flutter.
Once he’s inside he slips off his mask and stretches his fit body. He catches sight of your lingering, fixed gaze. He smirks as he purposefully flexes his arms for you. Your head whips around, looking away as if he hadn’t caught your ogling.
“It seems like someone missed me.” His knowing words result in a click of your tongue. Yet, you find yourself melting in his warm embrace as he wraps his arms around you from behind. You’re a goner when he buries his face into the crook of your shoulder. He presses a kiss there.
As his lingering lips trail along your sensitive skin, you ask him your usual question. “What are you listening to?” He hums in contemplation as he thinks. “To the sound of your voice.” You suck in a breath, and he smiles.
That question is something of a routine between the two of you. You always ask him, ever since you learned of his identity during one of his canon events. His response will change depending on his mood, and it’s a good indicator of his current mood.
If he gives you an actual song, it’s an easy way to tell depending on the tone and meaning of the song. Otherwise, if he replies with “Nothing.” He’s either tired or on the verge of breaking. Usually it’s both, since he says the silence helps him think.
Now, if he responds with something sweet, like “The sound of your voice,” he either wants to cuddle or…
The firm press of his hand as it trails along your inner thigh is answer enough.
You feel heat warm the expanse of your body, but you pretend not to notice. “I thought you said class drained you earlier today?” You try to distract yourself with conversation. Alhaitham’s hand only travels up further. “It did. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you, yet I was stuck listening to the professor droning on and on about a topic I’ve already read extensively about. Now, I can finally do what I’ve been wanting to do to all day long.” Alhaitham���s voice is rough, and his breath grazes the shell of your ear.
“Okay…” Is your eloquent response. You know if you turned around, you’d be met with that knowing smirk of his.
“Now, will you help me relax? Being spiderman is draining after all, and not being able to touch you the way you deserve all day has made me really tense.”
You have no objections when his fingers finally reach the place you’re craving it most.
🕷🕸 ๋࣭ ⭑⛓
ᐟᐟ☆ Caelus .✮𖦹‪‪ ₊˚
Radiates the most Gen Z vibes it’s insane
Up to date on everything and anything pop culture related. Whether it be old or new.
A theater went into a frenzy when fans realized spider man was in the same theater watching Five Nights at Freddy’s with them
He was upset since he had to slip out and watch the movie at home on Peacock instead.
Anyway, he’s a real sweetheart. He always makes time to stop and help older individuals cross streets, helps children find missing items, and he’ll even give some citizens a lift to a place they’re running late to.
Well, he stopped doing that last one after the incident. … That was his second canon event.
He became spider man when a woman named Kafka purposefully had a mutated spider bite him. He doesn’t recall too much before that, and he’s not sure why he can’t, but that’s a part of his journey. To discover himself and put together pieces of his past.
He still occasionally runs into Kafka and her companions, but for the most part he’s still developing his own opinion of her.
He’s a ball of energy most days. Reporters love him since he’s always so receptive and open to their questions.
Yet, he has his moments. Some nights, if you look to the right building, you’ll spot a lone figure on top, staring into the vast night sky. On those nights, he imagines a life where he travels those skies, exploring what the universe has to offer. Maybe there are other planets out there? What if he could visit them, and experience intergalactic adventures?
Oh well. Maybe in another timeline. He isn’t a nameless traveler here after all.
Unbeknownst to the both of you, you’ve bumped into each other on countless occasions when he’s in his civilian form. Actually, you two are very close friends.
He’s debated with himself many times. Should he tell you the truth? Time and time again his answer was no, and for many reasons. One, Kafka clearly has a close eye on him, and he isn’t sure of her intentions yet. Two, he doesn’t want you needlessly worrying about him. Unfortunately, you already do.
So it honestly doesn’t come as a surprise when you stumble upon him during a particularly hard moment in time, and he lets it slip that he’s spiderman and he’a struggling.
Thankfully, you’re just the support he needed.
Now, he has a safe space. A person who feels like home in a place where he truly has none. And he’s eternally grateful to you for it.
As for you, he’s your personal ray of sunshine. You’re overjoyed you can play such a prominent role in his life, and you don’t love him any less for being spider man. If anything, you somehow worry less about him…?
It’s honestly hard when you watch him overcome many impossible odds. He even accumulates new powers every now and again! He’s really strong, mentally and physically, so it eases your worries at times.
Even if he does need a shoulder to lean on, as you often do, you’re more than happy to be that shoulder for him.
Honestly, it’s a good thing he has you. His future canon events look pretty… rough. Especially the one where he meets himself from a parallel universe. You know, the one where he’s a star instead of the sky.
𓆩♡𓆪
“Oh my gosh Name look! They even have my bat in the game!” Caelus happily swivels around in his chair to look at you, frantically pointing to his pc monitor all the while.
You look at the screen, and sure enough there’s a scarily accurate model of your superhero boyfriend in the game, currently performing a silly dance move.
“Ah.. I see..” Is your response. You really think it’s cool, but you want to tease him a bit. You struggle to contain your grin when he pouts at your lack of enthusiasm. “I thought you’d think it was cool….” You can only chuckle as you run soothing fingers through his soft locks.
“I do sweetheart, I do.” Your words make him visibly light up, and he practically jumps out of his chair to wrap his arms around you.
“Speaking of, I have something else I want to show you…”
Que a fun midnight outing on top of the tallest building overlooking the whole city.
“Wow.. this is beautiful..” Your eyes shine as bright as a dying supernova as you gaze upon the beautiful landscape before you.
Caelus is beaming with pride, glad he was able to surprise you like this.
“Yeah, I stumbled upon this view after a particularly hard battle.” He hums in content as he leans back, pulling you into him.
You rest your head against him, his chest a comfortable pillow.
You can feel his steady heartbeat beneath your ear, and it’s a soothing melody.
“Thank you for sticking by me all this time.” The words are a gentle caress against the shell of your ear, yet they cause your heart to ache.
“You don’t need to thank me for that, silly. I love you, and when you love someone and they’re good for you, you stand by them. No matter what. Yeah?” You gently pat his chest.
He smiles.
“Yeah.”
He’s silent again, and a comfortable atmosphere wraps around the two of you like a warm blanket right out of the dryer.
That is, until he decides to open his mouth.
“Don’t get too comfortable. I might just push you off.”
He looks at you to gauge your reaction.
Absolute horror is written on your features.
He loves it. It sends an electrifying thrill through him; he loves to tease you too.
“You’re getting too out of hand with these jokes of-“
His lips steal the rest of your words, and you allow it.
The city paints a magical backdrop for your moment of intimacy.
🕷🕸 ๋࣭ ⭑⛓
Jing Yuan ⁞ ⟡ ⚡︎ ♡⸝⸝ 🕷 
This spider man is always accompanied by his cat, Mimi.
He rescued her during a particularly rough encounter. He tried to send her off after ensuring she was safe with authorities, but she refused to leave his side. Now, he already had a soft spot for cats, so it was a no brainer to him
Mimi has accompanied him ever since, and she even has her own little mask and everything.
Little does he know that the ‘cat’ he saved was really just another one of the smuggled exotic animals those crooks tried to sneak into the city. Mimi will no longer fit in that backpack of his in a few months time.
He’s really lazy, honestly. He calls it conserving energy, but really he will only intervene when it’s called for or if the situation is rapidly turning dire
He has many admirers. Pictures of blurry glimpses of his suit sell for hundreds, if not thousands of dollars, online
So, so many fan edits of him. And he’s seen ‘em all. He’s secretly really smug about it, but he keeps that to himself
He has a commanding presence, and an air of elegance about him. It almost feels like his fighting is an art of sorts. It’s fascinating to see the creative ways he’ll use his webs to get the job done.
Mimi has plushies, courtesy of collaboration with spiderman.
He bought the pre-orders for her plush and a few more when the official drop released
So, how did you end up with a man like Jing Yuan? Gorgeous, handsome Jing Yuan who's also a renowned general?
Simple. You're his personal alarm clock.
No. Literally. You were asked to wake him up after he fell asleep on the job again, as everyone else had grown tired of the task, and that was the beginning of an.. interesting dynamic.
The best part about it? One day you arrived a bit earlier than your usual time to wake him up, only to find the infamous spider man frantically urging Jing Yuan’s cat, Mimi, into a backpack.
Long story short, now you not only have to deal with waking him up, but you also have to deal with a clingy boyfriend who isn't afraid to his webs against you
𓆩♡𓆪
“Jing Yuan! I told you, this meeting is important and it’s imperative that-“
He blatantly ignores you as he webs the door shut, and now you’re stuck with him in his office.
“Mhm. I understand. Now come here, I miss you.” His stupid smile makes your heart race as he opens his arms, welcoming you in.
Ah, what the hell.
You all too easily bend to his whims. You quickly find yourself in his arms, snuggled against his warm body.
“That’s much better sweetheart. See? This isn’t so bad is it?” You abhor his teasing, yet all the same it sends a thrill through you.
“Shut up. I better not get in trouble because of you.” You sigh. “No one would dare say anything to you. If anyone ever does, I will personally tend to the matter.” His voice is tense, along with his statement, but all you feel is his thick hair tickling your cheek as he nuzzles his head against you.
A goofy smile spreads across your lips, and soon you forget all about the meeting as you enjoy each other’s embrace.
An adorable sound comes from Mimi, lounging somewhere in his office you assume. The usual.
“By the way, are we still on for dinner later?” Your question evoked a chuckle out of Jing Yuan.
“I wouldn’t miss dinner with you for the world.” “Not even if your spidey duties call?” Your quip causes an adorable pout to form on his lips.
“My ‘spidey duties’ can wait until I’m full and satiated. You mean more to me than you know, my sweet angel.” His words warm not only your heart, but your soul.
You completely lose track of time in his arms.
So it comes as quite a shock when obnoxious knocking can be heard on his office door. You know, the one that’s currently webbed shut?
“Jing Yuan!!”
Ah, Diviner Fu. She knows all too well that you’ve failed yet again to lure Jing Yuan out of his office.
“Ah, looks like dinner has arrived sooner than we expected sweetheart.” You squeal when he suddenly sits up with you still in his arms.
He uses his webs to grab his backpack, slinging it over his shoulder as Mimi hops in, used to this ordeal.
“Remember to hold on tight, okay?” He murmurs the words against the shell of your ear, before he slips on your own little mask over your face. Just as a precaution, though he’s really good at staying hidden whenever he’s with you.
“Off we go.”
And with that, you two sling out of the window of his office, leaving an exasperated Fu Xuan behind.
🕷🕸 ๋࣭ ⭑⛓
♡ ┃ Kaedehara Kazuha ‧.°˖➴
He is the amazing spider man
Like, he’s the ultimate spider man. He’s kind yet deadly, and very friendly.
He’s as swift as the wind, and he actually travels with a sword. You’ve never seen Spiderman incorporate sword play in with his webs? Well, you’re in luck! Kazuha does this at a masterful level. He made it into a sort of art form as well. At the end of his fights he’ll always create beautiful imagery using his sword, carving out complicated shapes and scenes with his webs. It’s kind of like a signature of his
He’s pretty good at balancing his civilian and hero life. Although he may get caught up with things if unexpected incidents occur, which lets be honest, it happens all the time when you’re spider man
He’s genuinely so sweet, and it’s easy to see through his actions. The public loves him. He has loads of admirers.
After a very traumatic incident involving a close friend of his, he experienced a period of grief and depression
He got back on his feet eventually, and he awakened new powers within him! Well, that would be the only explanation for why he was suddenly able to use electricity during combat with a particularly strong villain
Not only does he use a sword but now he has the ability to wield electricity?
Once word of spider man’s new powers spread, the number of crimes that were committed went down drastically. Literally. Statistically crime rates decreased by 25% the following week. 25%. Your usual run of the mill people were too afraid to do anything after witnessing the devastating beating Kazuha gave to a particular individual
To be fair, he was late to your date because of them. He wasted no time, defeating that villain within mere seconds before frantically webbing away to meet you
Speaking of dates, Kazuha enjoys going on many dates with you.
From indoor cozy dates to public outings, typically walks through nature, Kazuha’s favorite past time is the time he spends with you
He often leaves you handwritten notes before he leaves, ranging from eloquent poetry of his feelings for you, to short blurbs of how your eyes make it physically impossible for him to focus on what you’re saying. (He felt bad because he got lost in your eyes while you were describing your Christmas decorating plans to him)
Overall, Kaedehara Kazuha is a model spider man. Kind and caring, yet swift and fatal when the situation needs him to be.
𓆩♡𓆪
“Kazuha, I told you I forgive you already!” You giggle despite your exasperation. Kazuha disregards your statement as he places fleeting, soft kisses on your person.
He starts with your hand. He holds your hand delicately, treating you as if you’re porcelain. He places a kiss to the back of your hand before his lips slowly trail up your arm.
Your heart melts at the tender gesture, all the while your body lights aflame with his burning gaze. His piercing orbs hold your gaze as his lips make their leisure ascent.
You couldn’t tear your eyes away from him even if you willed it.
“I promised you I wouldn’t be late to our date this week, but I was. You have my sincerest apologies, my love.” You feel his lips move as he murmurs the words against your skin.
“No need to be all formal. We’ve been together for how long now?” You murmur the words in embarrassment, as Kazuha’s lips now brush along your neck, teasing you.
“Hmm.. if I recall correctly, today would make five years correct?” You nod your head, yet your eyes drift shut as Kazuha playfully teases the skin of your neck with his teeth.
“Y-Yeah.. so..” Your mind is blank. You completely forgot the point you were trying to make.
You have a feeling that was his goal all along.
His lips finally reach their destination; his eager lips meet your parted ones.
You groan as he draws you closer, placing a firm hand on the back of your head. His kiss almost feels a bit desperate; his lips mold with yours in perfect sync as his free hand explores the expanse of your body.
When he finally parts from you, you take desperate gasps of air. His state isn’t much better; his lidded gaze roams your body as he takes deep breaths.
“Kazuha…” “hmm?” He smiles, a lazy, slow smile, and you know you’re not letting him leave any time soon.
“I.. um.. oh! I was going to say, before you rudely distracted me..” He chuckles at that, tracing the contour of your face with a finger as you continue to scold him. “It wasn’t your fault you were late. The police force needed backup and-“ His lips capture yours again.
You reluctantly press against his chest, gently pushing him away.
You pout.
He winks at you.
“I know, but it still took away from our precious time together. I wanted to make it up to you by arriving early today, but I wasn’t able to fulfill that desire.” He sighs, and his finger moves from your face down to your neck, lower to your collarbone.
“I promise you it’s okay, Kazuha. I understand. Although, if you really want to make it up to me…” This time, your gaze is the heated one as you skillfully unravel his ponytail.
He sucks in a breath at your action. “I have another desire that you most certainly can fulfill.”
“Ah, I like the sound of that.”
Lucky for you, he is more than able to fulfill that desire of yours.
🕷🕸 ๋࣭ ⭑⛓
‧₊˚ ┊Shikanoin Heizou ⚖✮⋆˙✦
Public menace #1
He drives the police force crazy because he always solves all the cases before they can get to the bottom of it. He does so not only as spider man, but as his civilian self too.
He can be a bit of a flirt when he has the mask on.. well, ‘a bit’ is an understatement, but he doesn’t just flirt with everyone!
He really only flirts with you, honestly, yet you reject him time and time again. He was a bit puzzled, since he knows how flustered you get when he flirts with you without the mask. Maybe it’s because you don’t know it’s him? He’ll have to test that theory
Using his detective skills he quickly deduces that it was because you have a crush on him. Him. Not spider man.
He knows of your intense loyalty, so of course you wouldn’t entertain his flirting, even if the individual flirting with you is the spider man.
Once he figured that out, oh how much fun he has teasing you as spider man
He’ll use his webs to get around quickly and restrain his enemy, but in combat? He prefers to use his fists. He’s quick with it too. He’s Shikanoin ‘left, right, goodnight’ Heizou.
So, whenever he does use his webs in combat, you know he’s going against a formidable foe 
He’s super sweet to fans. Signatures, autographs, everything. On the sly though, when you still didn’t know he was spider man, he kissed an autograph he signed specifically for you before he handed it to you.
There was a visible mark left behind, and although you were annoyed you still kept the autograph (that you didn’t ask for)
When he finally revealed his identity to you, you were simultaneously livid and not surprised; You know of Heizou’s tendency to tease
He planned for the whole reveal to be super romantic and everything, and by the end of it you two became a couple.
You are the ones who create the iconic spider man kiss. He’s upside down, holding a handwritten confession of love, not a rose, that you cautiously take from his hand. In the letter he explicitly stated that spider man and the man you were currently crushing on are the same people. Following that was a very romantic declaration of his feelings for you.
When you looked up from reading the letter, you found yourself face to face with Shikanoin Heizou instead of the spider’s mask. The shock on your face was too adorable to ignore, so he kissed you whilst hanging upside down.
It was an… interesting experience, to say the least.
Would you repeat it? Absolutely.
𓆩♡𓆪
“Heizouuu….” Your whine is music to his ears.
He nuzzles his head further into your chest, and his sigh is one of contentment.
“Yesss..?” This time, you’re the one sighing, except it’s one of annoyance rather than content.
“I’ve needed to use the bathroom since five minutes ago.” “And I told you you’re welcome to. I will wait as my warm, loving arms ache for your return.” You scoff at his dramatic use of words.
“Thanks, Heizou, but how could I possibly go to the bathroom when your body is literally tangled with mine?” This question gives him pause, even though it really shouldn’t.
Said body adjusts a bit, but he makes no move to get off of you.
You’re currently lounging in bed, doing nothing really. Just enjoying Heizou’s company. It was nice until you had to use the bathroom, and with the way Heizou’s body is lying on you, legs entangled and arms wrapped around you, there’s no possible way for you to escape.
His head remains on your chest, but he looks up at you now.
“How about a deal? If you can solve this riddle-“
“Shikanoin Heizou.” 
“My apologies.”
He quickly moves off of you, and you make a beeline for the bathroom.
You’re not surprised when he’s on the other side of the door the moment you open it.
“Sometimes, Heizou, you just…” You struggle to find the words to properly express yourself.
“I just..?” He prompts you, guiding you back to the comfort of your shared bed.
You finally find the words you were searching for as you both resume your previous position, except this time Heizou’s head is buried against the crook of your neck.
“You just.. fail to surprise me, really. Which is funny, since you’re someone who’s full of them.” His body shakes against yours as he laughs at your bold statement.
“Ah, my lovely partner knows me so well. Honestly, how did a detective like me get so lucky? I believe that’s the biggest mystery of all.” His words fill you with warmth; they effectively morph your feelings of affectionate annoyance into a feeling of immense joy.
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. You do know I’m the one who got lucky, right?” You chuckle when he gasps, as if the very concept itself is absurd.
“I would refute that hypothesis of yours, but I believe it would only cause this conversation to continue in circles. So, I propose that we are both the luck ones. Do you agree?”
You feel his smile and hear the affection in his voice as his lips brush along your skin.
“Yeah.. I agree.” “Perfect.”
And with that, a comfortable silence fills the room once more.
It’s a relaxing evening, spent with your very loving and very dramatic boyfriend.
🕷🕸 ๋࣭ ⭑⛓
Welt Yang ﹕⸝⸝ *:・゚✮
“Wait, spider man is an old man!?” Yeah and there’s a literal dinosaur who dons the mask in another universe. Your point?
Lol jokes aside, Welt is one of, if not the most, powerful spider man. I mean, he can literally manipulate gravity.
He’s also a huge nerd.
He always brings his cane along with him when he fights, so the enemy tends to underestimate him, thinking he’s close to retirement and should just give up the whole ‘hero act’ already. Honestly, maybe he should, but that day isn’t today.
If he gets particularly annoyed by comments from his opponents, he’ll just get rid of ‘em. via a mini black hole of sorts. It’s super effective.
He’s actually very fond of making jokes and semi-horrible puns. They make you laugh though. Others? Not so much.
Anyway, he’s very reserved and he won’t stick around for reporters to interview him. He’ll just give the necessary information needed for authorities to take over, and in the blink of an eye he’s gone.
For his day job, he’s an animator. A well renowned one too. He’s very casual about it though, and he doesn’t see it as something deserving of praise.
He’s taken on a young talent who’s a blank page, in the process of writing a story of their own.
You’re the one who finds out Welt’s well kept secret. He didn’t plan on revealing his identity to you, as he felt it was his burden to bear and he would hate to make you a target.
He’s experienced many battles and has faced numerous foes, so he’s very wise and experienced. He’s faced scenarios where his morals come into play, and that’s something he’s not fond of. He rather preserve his integrity and do things in a way that aligns with his inner values. He’s been granted many opportunities to do things in an underhanded manner, yet he has never taken that  opportunity.
𓆩♡𓆪
“Please please please!” You jump up and down in innocent joy, but the man before you pinches the bridge of his nose.
“No.”
“Why not? Please! I promise this is my last time asking.” You plead with him, moving to hold onto his arm.
“That’s the exact same line you use every time.” “It is not!” You retort.
“You said the same thing yesterday.”
“Welt, please!” Now you fix him with a pleading look, a look you know he can’t resist.
“Name, my ability to manipulate gravity is a powerful one that comes with great responsibility. It shouldn’t be used as a measly… ahem..” His cheeks take on a pink hue as he coughs into his fist.
You’ve pressed yourself against him, your head tilted as you gaze at him with that look in your eyes.
“…this is the last time.” His gruff response brings you to life, your eyes alighting with joy as you remove yourself from him.
He misses the warmth of your body, but your smile provides him with a permeating warmth that is different, but comforting all the same.
“You always say that.” Your bratty response irks him. In an instant your world is flipped upside down as your feet are lifted off the floor.
“Yay! Thank you Welt.” He can’t find it in himself to be annoyed when you’re doing silly little flips as your body floats in the air.
This has become a regular occurrence for you. Occasionally, when you’re in the mood to be a bit silly, you’ll ask Welt to use his gravity manipulation to suspend you in air.
He was opposed to it, but eventually you wore him down. Now, he agrees to give you a few moments of fun, although sparingly.
His gaze is soft as he watches you enjoy the moment with childlike glee, before you’re gently lowered to the ground once more.
“There. Satisfied?” His voice is rough and his gaze won’t meet yours, but his heart pounds in his chest. You really are too cute.
“Yes! Thank you, and I’m sorry I keep pestering you about it… but… I appreciate it.” You saddle up beside him and wrap your arms around him in a grounding hug.
He smiles.
“Don’t worry about it.” Is his simple response. He presses a sweet kiss to the crown of your head, before he rests his on top of yours.
Fwip!
You glance behind you when you hear the sound, just in time to see the door to your shared bedroom close shut. Your eyes study the webs on the door handle before you swivel around to face Welt.
His cheeks are tinted pink once more, but he meets your curious gaze.
“Let’s.. enjoy each other’s company for the remainder of the day.” His words cause your own face to heat up, but a sly smirk soon presents itself on your lips.
“Can’t get enough of me, can you?” You relish the look he fixes you with, and you willingly follow his lead to your neatly made bed.
“On the contrary, with that attitude of yours I get more than my fill of you.” His words are contradictory to his actions, since he’s pulling you closer as his lips seek yours.
You smile when his lips finally meet yours.
🕷🕸 ๋࣭ ⭑⛓
‧₊˚ ┊Baizhu ⚕ *: ♥
With swift and deadly attacks that require minimal movement, Baizhu is always quick to subdue the enemy
Some days are harder than others for him, as he has a chronic illness. He still gets the job done, and he’s always advocating for others in a similar situation as him. He doesn’t reveal much to the media, but he does like to tell anyone who may hear “If I can be spiderman, then I know you can do anything you set your mind to.”
Instead of a spider biting him it was a snake. A talking snake no less. Her name is Changsheng, and she travels with him almost all the time.
Many ask to pet Changsheng. He turns down most requests but on rare occurrences he may let an individual do so (mainly children)
Has miraculous healing powers. He’s also a good sport at taking heavy hits, but he can only handle so much. Still, he’s stronger than you’d think, and he’s great at sporting others back to health. It’s almost like they were never sick at all once Baizhu tended to them. Unfortunately, his illness always seems to flair after he does so…
Speaking of, he’s well loved, Dr. Baizhu. He literally has a 5 star rating and everyone raves about him. You would think he would limit clients since he constantly gets a large influx of them, but he’s too kind to do anything of the sort.
Sometimes you have to scold him and force him to coax him into taking it easy; he tends to take on a bit more than he can handle.
He’ll say cheesy things like “You’re the remedy I’ve been searching for all my life. Most certainly.” Whenever you two are alone and spending quality time together. You can only smile when he tells you these things; He’s too cute to feign annoyance with.
He’s immune to poison. Don’t ask why he just is. (It’s totally not an added benefit of a contract he made)
𓆩♡𓆪
Your fingers gently scrub the area, and a noise akin to the sound of a satisfied cat purr is heard.
You bite your lip as you try to contain your smile, even though he wouldn’t be able to see it anyway.
You’ve finished lathering Baizhu’s hair in the floral conditioner. He allows you to finish the process of rinsing his hair, and the result is satisfactory. His hair, which now has the floral scent of the conditioner, has a renewed sheen to it.
“Your hair is gorgeous, Baizhu. Well taken care of too.” You hum, guiding him as you both move to sit down.
You sit on the couch, and have him sit in front of you on the floor.
You gently dry his hair as he leans back into you. It causes you to get a few droplets of water on your person but that’s insignificant to you.
It’s been a long time since you’ve seen your boyfriend so relaxed. He’s been overworking himself again, not only with his job as a doctor but with his spiderman man duties.
You insisted on a self care day since he has the day off, and you prayed people would stay in line today so he wouldn’t have to suit up.
It seems your prayers were answered; it’s now late evening and the orange hue of the sky is slowly morphing into a starry night sky.
The streets remain peaceful today.
A groan from Baizhu draws your attention.
He’s looking up at you with furrowed brows. “I thought I told you to stop worrying so much about me.” You ‘tsk’ at the audacity of his claim, opting to flick his forehead. It was a light flick, but he acts as if you’ve scorched him.
He hisses. He sounds like Changsheng.
You giggle.
“I know you aren’t telling me to stop worrying.” You shake your head in dismay, albeit a knowing smirk is on your lips.
“Name, I know I am not one to talk but I promise you I’ll take better care of my mental wellbeing. You have my word.” He places a comforting hand on your knee. The touch brings warmth to your skin.
“Promise?” Your voice is quiet. It sounds small. You’d be surprised if he even heard you.
You open your mouth to repeat your question, sure he hadn’t heard you, but he speaks before you can voice the question once more.
“I promise.” His statement is firm. When you look into his golden snake-like eyes, they’re full of life. Determination emanates from their intense gaze.
You believe him.
“Okay, good. I hate to see you like that, you know…” His gaze softens at the obvious concern on your face. He understands it comes from a place of love, so he only nods in understanding.
“I’m sorry sweetheart.” He reaches for your hand, still a bit wet from washing his hair, yet he places a kiss to your palm nonetheless.
With that, you resume your task.
You take your time braiding his hair. It’s relaxing, and the diffuser you have going only adds to the calm atmosphere.
As soon as you finish braiding his hair Baizhu moves. It startles you, but you’re soon put to ease when he sits beside you.
His arms wrap around you, and he rests your head on his shoulder. Your eyes fall shut as you breathe in the floral scent of his hair.
“Thank you.” He whispers the words, and you feel the soft press of his lips on your forehead. You feel the same touch on your nose, your cheek, your eyelids, until they finally press against your lips.
When he pulls away, you respond with a thank you of your own. He seems taken aback by your words, but then the sweetest smile lifts his lips.
“You are quite welcome.”
🕷🕸 ๋࣭ ⭑⛓
♡. Blade 🗡⭒⚠︎︎ ⛓°˖ 
He is the second spiderman in Caelus’s verse
He honestly feels as if the whole Spiderman role is a curse rather than a blessing, but he still plays the role nonetheless.
When he feels like it
Most people only know of Caelus as spiderman, but once Blade also took on the role there were rumors of a darker, more sinister spiderman seen webbing from building to building during the late hours of the night
Of course Caelus had to investigate said rumors, and that led to a one on one encounter with Blade and.. Kafka?
Long story short Blade begrudgingly helps Caelus out when he’s in a jam, but for the most part he keeps to the shadows and does his own thing. Whether what he does is morally ‘right or wrong’ doesn’t concern him.
He has the symbiote, Venom, and he absolutely hates it. Yet, well, here they are.
There was an incident when things got a little.. tense between Caelus and Blade. Before the situation escalated Kafka was able to get Blade under control.
Overall he doesn’t really do too much as ‘spiderman,’ but you’ll definitely have a chance at catching him beat the absolute shit out of a robber in a dark alley, their cries for help muffled as they’re eaten alive by the symbiote :D
Unfortunately for Blade, Kafka isn’t particularly fond of him eating people, due to the hassle of keeping it on the down-low. He’s supplied with massive amounts of chocolate to substitute for the people he was firmly told he can no longer consume, unless it’s a dire situation.
Blade truly sees his life as a misfortune, especially during moments where Caelus coerces him into helping him out. He’s really under no obligation to help, but something about Caelus persuades him to comply (albeit begrudgingly).
They make a great duo! Surprisingly. Like, Caelus can already be a hard hitter, when he chooses to use his bat, but add Blade into the mix? Whoever they’re fighting is not surviving that fight.
𓆩♡𓆪
Your hands slip under his shirt, cold against the warm skin of his abdomen. You trace the outline of his many scars; they feel rough against the delicate pads of your fingers. You move closer to Blade, burying your head into the crook of his neck.
You can feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest against your own; it soothes you.
He moves, his hands slipping under your shirt as well, tracing the curve of your spine.
“You really are such a handful…” He murmurs the words, quiet and emitting a gentle warmth. You shiver from his gentle touch, cold fingers leisurely teasing your skin.
You debate speaking up, to let him know you’re awake, but you quickly decide against it when he speaks once more.
“No one could compare to you. When I’m with you, I feel a warmth I haven’t felt in a long, long time…” Blade’s uncharacteristically honest words cause your heart to swell.
You struggle to contain your smile. You feel him shift closer to you, and soon a pair of surprisingly soft lips are pressed against your temple.
He remains silent now. Enjoying the peaceful atmosphere, running his hands along your skin.
“I love you too.” You finally say. He startles for a moment, and it makes you giggle. When you pull your head away from his neck you’re barely able to make out the sight of his flushed cheeks before he shoves your face back to its previous position.
He says nothing, but the smile on his face says all the things he fails to put into words.
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askew-d · 11 months ago
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WANGXIAN FICS MASTERLIST
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• tonight i can write the saddest lines, by sarahyyy — post-canon amnesiac lan wangji getting to know wei wuxian again. amazing! i love this author, sincerely.
• deconstruct, by flowercity (faorie) — a soulmate au in which what you write in your skin appears in the other person’s. i’ll admit that soulmate aus aren’t my cup of tea, however i quite liked this one!
• resonant frequencies, by chinxe — the infamous fake relationship story. with wangxian, this works so well! just amazing.
• between the lines, by fading_fast — modern setting au with wangxian meeting through a game. love these strange meetings and this one’s damn enjoyable.
• something real, by latios — wangxian wrong number au involving bunny pictures. i need more wrong number aus for them!! gimme!!
• all your life you’ll dream of this, by attila — cinderella au but with wei wuxian as prince charming. a fantastic story, i was so engaged in this it’s a wonder.
• ⭐️🎖️ one good thing, by yuu_chi — wei wuxian’s a ghost haunting his childhood house until lan wangji appears. seriously, everything about this plot charmed me. i’m enchanted.
• of rabbits and men, by shoutowo — wei wuxian turning into a rabbit and making his way into lan wangji’s heart for the second time. anything more wangxian than this?
• ⭐️ rumor has it, by ulan — post-canon cql in which wei wuxian comes back to “haunt” his rumored cultivation partner. the softness in this killed me.
• ⭐️🎖️ a little happiness, by suspicious_popsicle — lan wangji gets cursed and is transformed into his child version. so lovely to see!! i’m surprised i can read this for free.
• critical path analysis, by chinxe — brooklyn 99 au with wangxian in that episode where they make a bet and wei wuxian takes wangji on a terrible date that’s not terrible at all!
• ⭐️ some of you, by tangerine chair — social media au where lan wangji’s an actor and posts a suspicious tweet about his love life. incredible story, really.
• ⭐️ this should definitely happen, by yeolinski — wei wuxian waking up high in anesthesia and hitting on the hot guy who’s there with him. this is so goddamn funny, i swear i can’t.
• linger in the sun, by etymologyplayground — wangxian are cursed to not hear or see one another. i loved this a lot, it’s terrific.
• another way, by anonymous — wei wuxian sneaks outside to buy emperor smile’s again, and once again encounters lan wangji. i’m frustrated this doesn’t have as many kudos as it deserves, tbh.
• life, drama and action, by akai_hana — one more social media au with wangxian as a famous couple. awesome story.
• inebriation and affections, by chewing — wei wuxian gets drunk and shows his clingy attitude. it’s great to see him like that for the first time, thank you author 🙏🏼
• ⭐️ the inquiries of the heart, by ziane — very much alike “another way”, but this one has a sequel. it’s a whole show alright. a hella nice canon-divergence.
• 我在, by tangerinechair — wei wuxian comforting lan wangji in the xuanwu cave. something i deeply needed to read.
• facilitated diffusion, by chinxe — lan wangji can’t stop ordering stuff just to see the cute delivery worker. at this point i’m bookmarking every work by this author, ngl.
• ⭐️ you, asleep and dreaming, by etymologyplayground — post-canon cql that’ll haunt your mind but that you need to check out if you haven’t already.
• a wild heart to tame mine, by theroyalsavage — superheroes au in a soft perspective and amazing plot, liked every bit.
• ⭐️ a song you’ve never heard, by arahir — wei wuxian’s fatally injured and lan wangji… well, you can imagine. it’s heartbreaking and heartwarming all in between.
• ⭐️ to wing your soul with jasmines, by enemyofrome — while reaching gusu, wei wuxian starts sending flowers to lan wangji. cql post-canon. i could die basking on this adorable story.
• dear hanguang-jun, by cavaleira — people start sending letters asking for relationship advice from lan wangji and he gives it to them. whoa, the entertainment!
• ⭐️🎖️ two guys r in love thats literally it, victortor — wei wuxian traveling back to his old self and meeting lan wangji again. it’s a shame we didn’t hear more from this author in this fandom for a long time. where are you?? come back to give us more of this gay lil beasts. i absolutely love this and the title makes it more interesting. iconic.
• concessions to love, by besanii — arranged marriage wangxian. it’s well-noted and well-written. it rocks!
• “congratulations, get rich”, by attila — it’s chinese new year and wei wuxian wants to do things differently. incredibly done.
• atlas, by etymologyplayground — if you want a crossover between hob and mdzs, here it is. and it’s amazing!
• soft-hearted, by sarahyyy — canon-divergence where wei wuxian ends up in the lan sect. it’s so soft, just as the name tells us!
• seldom all they seem, by fahye — here we go with one more arranged marriage au. this one’s rated e, surely a ride! worth every bit.
• and in the spring i shed my skin, by wvlfqveen — shapeshifter lan wangji in a modern with magic au where they’re professors. do i need to say more? all too good, all too good
• love & longing, rabbit edition, by jaws_3 — lan wangji gets turned into a rabbit and looks for wei wuxian for help. do you sense a pattern? yes, maybe i love the idea of lan wangji as a bunny. in fact, i recommend every story by this author and many others but i’ll just be adding by absolute favorites. and this one’s fabulous.
• 在此恭迎夷陵老祖; to yiling laozu, the great and venerable, by yiqie — we had people writing letters to hanguang-jun asking for advice and now it’s people writing letters to the yiling patriarch! also gorgeous.
• 1 unread message, by bittersweetirony — office au where wei wuxian keeps receiving emails from an admirer. short and very sweet!
• ⭐️ the stars in the hazy heaven tremble above you, by cicer — wherein wei wuxian’s ciderella and wangji’s prince charming. i could read this over and over and never get tired. in fact, i did.
• ⭐️🎖️ only the deepest love, by occultings (microcomets) — pride and prejudice fusion. everything’s a bliss, magically and wonderfully so. i fell in love with this masterpiece. in fact, read everything by this author!! highly recommend. especially three days gone, if you go searching rabbits and a life in your shape!
• beneath six layers of silk, by darkredloveknot (enheduane) — lan wangji’s cursed to speak every thought of his out loud. come on, who never wanted to check what this guy’s thinking? perfect!
• ⭐️ let me come home, by cafecliche — seven nights with wangxian being sappy. i could dream about this piece of art. really.
• ⭐️🎖️ i hope that you will come and meet me, by feyburner — another post-canon cql where wangxian slowly get together. i find this particularly devastating and so beautiful.
• the ocean between us, by catbrainedschemes — this is for those who watched the legend of the blue sea, yes, the k-drama! because this is a fusion of it, where wei wuxian is a mermaid.
• call me, beep me, by myung — a whole social media au in another level! they are all actors and i love this idea so much. myung-laoshi big brained, tis glorious story right here made a lot happier.
• and his wanting grows teeth, by yukla — cultivator lan wangji finding wei wuxian in a village, an au in canon setting as the tag says. it's devasting how good this is, really.
• 🎖️ how to fall in love with a catfish: a guide by wei wuxian (disaster rat), by bwyn, yuisaki — wei wuxian finds a catfish trying to be the famous lan wangji. turns out, of course, that it's not a catfish. can we talk about this story more? the sheer hurt/comfort of it, and how it's the perfect rom-com slash drama depiction? i want this as a real show! new york, i love you, by yuisaki also gorgeous!
• listen to the voice inside your head, by pupeez4eva— wei wuxian wakes up to his future-self voice inside his head. it's telling him suspicious things. the amount of giggles i let it slip. in fact, i recommend every work by this author because they always makes me laugh!
• 🎖️ the breaking of your soul (upon my lips), by sunsandships — canon-divergence where wei wuxian discovers that lan wangji's the one who kissed him without his consent. that changes everything. just... magnificent fix-up story, as i said so in my bookmark.
• love on 35mm, by fakeplasticlily — film student lan wangji and wei wuxian as the brother of lan wangji's best friend. my heart was aching during this.
• neatly arranged, by thunderwear — wei wuxian and lan wangji are betrothed, against their own wills. do we have enough wangxian arranged marriage content? no, we do not.
• ⭐️🎖️paint smears on sunny days, by snowshadowao3 — lan wangji's son, lan yuan, has a favorite teacher, and that's wei-laoshi, art professional and also an expert at getting into lan wangji's heart. i will dive DEEP into teacher wei wuxian concept. this one's so wholesome, i could Die.
• 🎖️the absolutely true story of the yiling patriarch: a manifesto in many parts, by aubreyli — the juniors decide to make up wei wuxian's reputation by creating a book of his stories with hanguang-jun. it goes well. one time or another. haha, i love the juniors, they are so creative when making wangxian get together.
• ⭐️🎖️ pigtail pulling, by protos_metazu_isson — lan wangji decides to face wei wuxian's pigtail pulling face to face. that goes better than the expected and worse that what he further imagined. it's surely one of stories i keep on rereading from time to time, especially because it's not big and it's so CUTE!! help.
• ⭐️🎖️ your hand in mine, by cerbykerby — wangxian cursed to hold each other's hand. i could scream while i'm are. come on, this is one of the best stories here, it's short and so sweet, so fitting for them too. perfect, perfect.
• ⭐️ as you like it, by cosmicmilktea — wei wuxian starts to discover what's lan wangji likes. it's what he should know as his husband, after all. IT'S WHAT WE NEED AND DESERVE.
• after the final rose, by azulewaxwing — the bachelor au, because who doesn't want a lan wangji for themselves? turns out, the cameraman attracts his attention more than any contestant could. absolute fire.
• your heartbeat, across the grass, by fakeplasticlily — former classmates with now wei wuxian babysitting and lan wangji as a famous football player. aaah, just imagining lan wangji playing football, as a brazilian, it gives me chills.
• grow, by cafecliche — age degression wei wuxian troubling cloud recesses and the juniors. i love this idea! love a tiny wei wuxian. he deserves good things.
• obedient and bellicose, by thunderwear — an ella the enchanted au where, as per say, lan wangji has to follow every rule. oh, what an incredible fusion. it fits so well, even.
• ⭐️ at least in this lifetime, by etymologyplayground — aaaah i'm sighing over this again. this story's pure sweetness. diabetes. fluff. outstanding. basically, it's just wangxian getting married.
• ⭐️🎖️ i'm the one for your fire, by occultings (microcomets) — a cherry magic au, where wei wuxian can reads mind and discovers lan wangji from the office is actually into him. and maybe he's also into lan wangji. but like, in a no homo kinda way. of course! (denial's a river on africa, dear.)
• ⭐️ look not with the eyes, by spodumene — a case fic post-canon cql where everyone who knows lan wangji starts to devote themselves to him and it doesn't work on wei wuxian. why would that be? i wonder.
• ⭐️🎖️ sweet chaos, by eachandeverydimension — it took me a long time to finish this because everything was so good i wanted to feel it forever. wangxian arranged marriage where they're fourteen and lan wangji goes spend the time with him at yunmeng.
• ⭐️🎖️ your words upon my lips, by uchiuchi — during a nighthun, wangxian get cursed, what one says comes on the other's lips. this killed me, it's so freaking funny and overall over the top.
• ⭐️🎖️ linger by the door (i've always been yours), by piecrust — epistolary wangxian! post-canon cql! introspection! slow burn! everything i could ever want in just one fic. and the letters are unbearably beautiful.
• my heart skips a beat (so my gut can feel the punch), by piecrust — wangxian taking the long way back home. i always wonder how these pretty stories come into an author's mind.
• we sit in the sunset glow, by moonsteps — tangled au where wei wuxian's flynn rider and wangji's rapunzel. thank you, dear author, indeed wangxian came straight out of a fairy tale movie and we deserve more fics like this!
•⭐️not in so many words, by jaws_3 — getting hananaki through a curse after he flirts with the wrong florist, wei wuxian starts dealing with the consequences of his actions. a masterpiece. and so, so lovely, gimme more. this author also has many darling works.
• ⭐️tickling sleeping dragons, by fallingfeathers — a hogwarts au with wei wuxian as a troublemaker gryffindor and lan wangji as a rigorous ravenclaw! perfect, isn't it? the development's awesome as well.
• blooming into the color of love, series by leffy — actors wei wuxian and lan wangji, who are judged to be rivals, have to work together for a tv show. and they have sex scenes at that. so enjoyable!
• love potion no. 9, by ria_green — one more hogwarts au where amortentia's involved, so you can imagine what happens. short and soft.
• the rivers start to sing, by fruitys — another tangled au but this time with wei wuxian as rapunzel and lan wangji as flynn rider. it's a marvel that we have two tangled aus in here! phenomenal. mountains, we met by this author (every work of theirs, actually) are also worth every bit!
•⭐️blue-ribbon bunny, by cicer — shapeshifter lan wangji is forced into a shift after getting tired at work and wei wuxian finds him. bunji won my heart, i want to pet him! wei wuxian, you lucky fool.
•⭐️no more looking, i've found home, by annadream — more epistolary wangxian! more post-canon cql! getting together! once again, with terrific letters. i'm astonished with these author's mind.
•⭐️🎖️teen project to change the world, by animeloverhomura — mdzs characters watching mdzs donghua!!! please, this is my utmost FAVORITE! ever! i'm also translating this into portuguese, for those who wanna check in the start note (i'm slowly updating it, im sorry). but aaah, how sensational this work is!!
• an impromptu visit to the city, by bosbie — lan wangji time travels into a modern time and wei wuxian finds him there! oh, this is precious, they are the best.
• heartkeeper, by postingpebbles — bunny lan wangji again, but this ain't modern times, and it's also fascinating. the arts in these made me so warm inside, too.
• ⭐️🎖️the one-body problem, by metisket — during a ritual, lan jingyi's possessed and wei wuxian's on his body with him. waahhh, i couldn't help but chuckle during every part of this, it's well-written and freaking nice to see them bonding. jingyi and wei wuxian being buddies owns my life.
• ⭐️🎖️no certainty of doors between us, by betts — this is the story that HAUNTS me. i read this every once in a while because it's goddamn FANTASTIC. just roommates wangxian with wangji complaining about wei wuxian but being head over heels in love with the man. chaotic, amusing and flawless!!!
• ⭐️🎖️covered in bees, by scarlettstorm— apiary au with wei wuxian freaking out over bees at his doorstep, but then lan wangji comes to aid. and of course, chemistry sparks. and there are bees everywhere. and my heart's melted.
•🎖️lavender blue, by ana_cp — wei wuxian's a florist for a wedding and lan wangji's a cook, they meet and don't stop meeting afterwards. everything about this work is excellent!
•⭐️ wrong turn, right place, by diamondbruise — more time-travel au! this time, it's wei wuxian who goes to cloud recesses coming from his modern time. one of my favorite quotes from all the fics i've read it's in here. such an exquisite work.
• hello, it. have you tried turning it off and on again?, by overmountainandmeadow — here we have modern setting, office wangxian, it superior lan wangji, juniors as interns and other great plots. stunning work!
• diamonds are wei wuxian's worst enemy, by thefaceofno — lan wangji says he wants to marry, and wei wuxian thinks it's with another person. of course it isn't. so he helps plan his own wedding. coming from our best fool, that's expected, really. splendid!
• secretary lan, series by silverclaw — exactly what it says, lan wangji as his husband's secretary and everybody thinks wei wuxian's cheating on their spouse with... well, his spouse. it's absurdly good.
• our hands clasped so tight, by chapter_61 — wangxian get stuck in a library and conversations ensue. i like the idea of fics with a lot of dialogue, and this one didn't fail to surprise and light me up! lovely!
• ⭐️connected: unknown number, by phoenixking25 — wrong number aus always have my heart, and wow, how good this one is. truly excellent, with the perfect lenght. the ones i read are always so short, but this is longer! a win for the wrong number lovers.
• cut through the clouds, break the ceiling, by tardigradeschool — modern setting with our adorable boys including a drunk confession. i'm not lying when i say this is so delightful, i want to print it out and keep it.
• who could stay? you could stay, by martyrsdaughter — neighbours au, where wei wuxian's a bit intruding. maybe too much. but lan wangji likes him anywhere. what is there not to like? haha, a whole awesome read.
• ⭐️ be gay, do crime, by merelydovely — lan wangji thinks wei wuxian, the guy who invaded his home one afternoon and petted his bunnies, is a bad guy. he's not. hilarious and brilliant!
• ⭐️don't threaten me with a good time, by livinginaworldofnoise — ridiculously funny! basically, a great british bake off au with wei wuxian being a lil demon. i want this to be printed and delivered during my funeral, thank you very much.
• ⭐️as the clouds part and clear, we finally meet again, by 12262325 — lan wangji, as a kid, encounters wei wuxian, who's older than him. they keep on encountering each other, and lan wangji keeps on falling in love with his senior. aah, i'm in love with this work! i can't stop rereading!
• as if you were a mythical thing, by daltoneering — a vague steampunk au as the author suggest, and it absolutely rocks! i wish this had even more hits, as it deserves.
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you can check my wangxian bookmarks on ao3 for more recs! i’d just like to note again that this is, of course, based on my own opinion. regardless if these stories are famous or not, i wanted to make this list for my enjoyment and for those who want more wangxian content, either they’re old here or if they’re just entering the fandom :)
as always, i’m accepting other recs if you have those. check my pinned tweet for more of my stuff and thank yoou!
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bomber-grl · 11 months ago
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What being best friends with Damian Wayne would be like
Pairing(s): Damian Wayne x Gn!Reader (platonic)
Reader is a vigilante and attends gotham academy
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The worst but the best
You guys are known to the public as an iconic duo and there are many edits of you out there
Some people ship you guys, which, are you even surprised?
Anyway, Damian has two different personalities
When you’re busy at school with work or fighting as your guys vigilante counterparts he’s so serious it’s not even funny.
It’s so annoying too cuz then he yells at you when you try joking around and starts ignoring you.
Especially at school
But then once he does he pretends it never happened and starts talking with you
Ugly ass
Well, you guys usually just hang out everywhere and anywhere
At school, at the Wayne manor, and also when you’re patrolling
Now, as a friend he’s 50/50
What I mean by this is that he deffo gets emo at times and goes on monologues and stuff
So that’s the worst part of being his friend
Most times when he goes on his superhero internal monologue u just stand there like 🧍‍♀️and keep checking your watch
The worst part of it is he kinda takes it out on you and acts bitter
So that’s the worst part of being his friend
Besides the fact he ignores you when you wave at him in the hallway 😔
Got u looking like a fan 😔
Dw tho, he’s got some good traits to him
Like how fun it is to talk shit with him
He’s always going after everyone’s ass it’s so outta pocket 😭
That doesn’t mean you’re safe either 😔✊
Also you bet your ass all the girls, guys and basically any living thing loves him
His looks, not rlly his personality
Like you love him, but Damian, please try not to call people who approach you NPCs😭
Honestly people started avoiding you like the plague because of him
You still love him tho cuz even if he’s not even funny, he is
Like he doesn’t try to be, but shit he says outta no where literally be the funniest shit you’ve ever heard.
But when he tries to be funny on purpose…
Like Damian, hunny, pls shut ur mouth
The urge to just 🤏 his lips
Another pro would be his money ngl
Bro is rich rich and he honestly never hesitates to get u shit
Like you’ll mention it once and then the next second it magically got in your hands
But if u beg ask him for sum he’ll make u feel like that ant with the bag on the stick
Like 😔
He might act this way but you guys play around a lot
Like he’ll let u jokingly push and make jokes at his expense and he’ll do the same
But the second someone does it to him he’s like-
“Who are you?”
Like why tf u joking with me when I got y/n?
And when they do a joke at your expense bro is mad mad
He’ll let u stand up for yourself but after that he just gets pissed
Like who are you? Npc?
Going on from that
He’s really protective
Cuz he rlly cares about u Fr
He’s honestly really appreciative of how you were able to handle and put up with him in the beginning
Especially with how emo he was in the beginning
He’s always gon have ur back too, you don’t even gotta ask
Going from that, when y’all joke and push each other just playing around and stuff
He always fakes getting mad like the toxic person he is 🙄
But you don’t miss the way he smiles
Like you don’t even care if u end up being dropped kicked, you always gon bring it up
Then u end up getting tripped by him and falling in front of the hoes 😔
———————————————————-
Here ya go! @ladygagaslefttoe20
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magewritesstories · 8 months ago
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Hi i was just wondering if you could write something of James potter and Fem!reader (established relationship) where basically they are at a Gryfindor party and basically there is this guy who has a huge crush on her and is being low-key creepy about it and it’s just James being the protective bf he is.
If not don’t worry!!!! x
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[ ᴊᴀᴍᴇꜱ ᴘᴏᴛᴛᴇʀ ] ᴊᴇᴀʟᴏᴜꜱʏ, ᴊᴇᴀʟᴏᴜꜱʏ
summary: James Potter doesn't share anything, especially not his girlfriend TW: underage drinking note: ngl, I don't see James as the jealous type, but he is super protective. Also idek if Amos was in their year, but for the sake of the story he is.
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JAMES POTTER IS NOT A JEALOUS GUY.
Really, he isn't. But dear Godrick he's never wanted to bash someone's head in with a bottle of firewhiskey so badly—but that might just be the empty bottle talking.
He watched from a good ten feet away as Amos Diggory flirted with you with a wide smirk.
As mentioned before, James wasn't a jealous guy. He couldn't blame the stares you got whilst walking through the halls, or the way some eyes would linger when you laughed a little too loudly at one of his dumb jokes.
You were stunning, and James didn't blame people for seeing that. Hell, he was glad they did. Besides, he couldn't ignore the tiny ego boost he got from the fact that at the end of the day he was your boyfriend and not any of them.
Amos however didn't seem to understand that.
James's eyes narrowed as he slung his arm around you oh-so casually as he told a (probably stupid) joke. You gave him a small smile, a polite one—yep, definitly a stupid joke.
"You planning on murdering Diggory by glaring, mate?" Siruis asked, walking over to his best friend with a grin, "I'm afraid you're not one of those guys from Peter's superhero books—hey wormy, which one was it? With the laser eyes?"
Peter looks up from his drink in confusion, "Superman?"
"Yeah, that one," Sirius snapped his fingers, "So, is that your plan? Burning Diggory with you laser eyes?"
"The only thing burning in here is Prongs," Remus replied with a laugh. James rolled his eyes, "I don't know what you're talking about."
Lily decided to join in on the conversation and added in a teasing tone: "Really, 'cause you look a little uhm... green."
"I'm not jealous, I don't get jealous," He replied with a scoff, glancing in your direction again, "Especially not of guys like Amos Diggory."
His friends all gave him sceptical looks as he grabbed another bottle of fire whiskey. "Why would I be jealous. I have nothing to be jealous about," He insisted, staring intently as Amos dragged you and Dorcas towards the dance floor.
"What about the fact that he's already asked out Y/N like three times?" Peter replied casually. The entire friendgroup turned towards him, "What?"
He jsut shrugged, "Yeah, he just asked her out three times in the past two hours—watching him get rejected twice was awkward, the third time it was just sad."
"And you're mentioning this now?!"
"I thought you knew, I mean you've been staring at them the entire night."
James put down his bottle of firewhiskey and made his way over to the two of you.
"That's not fair—you're just Slughorn's favourite," You replied, smiling as you whirled the drink in your hand.
Amos grinned at you, "Yeah, well, maybe if you spent more time actually listening during class you'd be able to catch up with me. Maybe."
You rolled you eyes at the statement. "Oh, please, Diggory, if anything I'm doing you a favour. If I actually tried during classes I'd leave you in the dust."
"Oh, yeah?" The blond asked, raising a brow at you, "Maybe I should return the favour by taking you to Honeydukes this weekend."
"Hmm, no, I think I'm good," You reply as politely as you can, mustering a small smile.
This was the fourth time Amos had asked you out in the past two hours. And also the fourth time you'd rejected him.
How did he not know you had a boyfriend? You'd think that after that kiss (read: pretty much a make-out session) with James after Gryffindor beat (read: wiped the floor with) Hufflepuff last quidditch match, people would know the two of you were dating.
Apparantly not.
"Besides—" A loud, familiar voice sounded as James put his arm around you shoulder— "We've already got plans for this weekend."
The brunette give you a sloppy kiss and a satisfied grin, "Don't we, babe?"
You smile and nod. "Mhm, you promised me a drink at the Three Broomsticks."
Amos looked between you and James as you gave eachother lovesick stares.
Maybe you were laying it on extra thick just for Amos but they were lovesick stares nonetheless.
"Oh, uhm, well then..." He stuttered, trying to form a coherent sentence. James turned to him with a raised brow, "Well, maybe you should be heading towards the firewhiskey."
Amos seemed to take the hint. Finally. He quickly scurried away and out of your sight.
You let out a sigh, "Thank you—for someone so smart that guy really doesn't know how to take a hint."
"Well, good thing you got me then," James replied, grinning from ear to ear as he kissed you again, "Your own personal superman."
You swung your arms around his neck and smiled into the kiss, "Mhm, so lucky."
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words → 813
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luffyvace · 9 months ago
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Hey there brook! I hope u having a nice day! Can I ask for a luffy x heroic fem reader headcanon? by heroic I mean that she completely dedicated her life to help and save ppl and that her purpose in life, she's strong and seems cold but when u get to know her she has empathy more than anyone else, I feel like this is the perfect character that luffy would fall in love with, pure kindness hiding behind a tough facade, she doesn't even like being called a hero, yet she is willing to do anything for those in need, slaves, poor villages, she goes against anything unjust without any fear, cause thats her purpose in life (sorry if that was too long 💀)
Hi anon <33 (it makes me so happy that someone finally addressed me as that💗)
today was a very chill day 😊 thank you! How’s yours?
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Reader sounds so genuine with such a good background for a op character!!
(Don’t worry it’s not too long—I love to read:3)
Ngl luffy subconsciously sees a little bit of himself in you!!
like your hearts are so similar—gold!
of course he doesn’t directly think that way- but he feels the connection!
which is through helping!
you two never turn your backs on those who have never wronged you
its not even about if they’re on your side or not, as long as they haven’t wrong you? and they need help?
the both of you are on it 🤜🤛👍
you wanting to save others becomes admirable to more than just him, to all of the straw hats—chopper and usopp especially!
I’m gonna go ahead and say it here and now you remind both Jinbe and luffy of whitebeard and fishman island type thing
LIKE THAT’S HOW IT IS!!
Y/n is just her tbh 🤷‍♀️
and if the ops don’t like that? 🤨
🤜💥
how you like that? >:)
your strength may or may not be hereditary but either way if you don’t continue training or working out your gonna loose that strength eventually
which shows just how hard you train everyday!!
bro works harder than zoro 🗿
and we all know he don’t sleep on workin out
so y/n is a gorilla the og
its no wonder you be cookin the ops like breakfast👩‍🍳👍
this is literally turning into a rant about me being (name)’s biggest fan ok let’s move on
luffy saw you cold exterior and was like
😍😍😘🥰😘💍💋💋💋
LOLOLOL no but fr he looked straight past that
he always does- he ignored law’s and zoro’s why wouldn’t he with you-
and once he sees your true kindness???
Locked in like a booty hole 🔗
(ANYWAY I HAD TO🧍‍♀️)
yeah he pretty much busts right through that
he pretty much instantly demands you already are is nakama after that
Your empathy is what really swoops him off his feet tho
like luffy has a good sense of empathy so much so he can hear the voice of all things
and you probably can too! It’s highly likely!
(y/n could have her own anime at this point 🤷‍♀️😚)
But seriously the way he can just feel the way you long for others when they’re in pain just gets him right at the heartstrings you know?! 🥺❤️‍🩹
you comfort them so assuredly and keep your promise to win every time !!
luffy would admire himself more than he would know if he realized how alike the two of you are
tbh you probably admire luffy!!
like it’s a mutual thing, where you pretty much don’t see your own coolness you only see the other’s
so you admire each other unaware that your the same 😂💗
he absolutely adores and admires that empathetic part of you thoo!
he loves how your kind and tough
he wholeheartedly believes the strong should protect the weak, cuz that’s what a man does.
especially with nakama.
so he definitely understands your need to protect those who can’t do it for themselves
there are many times he can recall where he had to rely on others
so he loves that your the one who does that for people
and you don’t do it for the money or fame!
you don’t even view yourself as the hero and savior that bystanders see you as!
that’s so cool to him!
you background/past might’ve caused it! Like maybe you had no superhero! So you decided to become one!
he kinda looks up to you in a way 🤩
as someone who has also helped slaves and the poor he completely understands where you come from in your kindness
and it’s even cooler that you charge head on into battle for others without a second thought
that’s just how tough you are ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ
not an ounce of fear in your eyes as you walk up to someone 20x the size of you to simply get back the bread they stole from a poor little child
LIKE HOW COOL IS THAT?! 💥💥
your a super hero!! Dundun duh-duuuuuun!!
🦸‍♀️‼️🤩
you have a goal just like him!! He wants to be the king of pirates and you wanna help others!
With the type of pirate he is?, those things go hand in hand 🤝
”STRAW HAT LUFFY AND PIRATE HERO (NAME) IS HERE!! RUN AWAY!!”
says the pirates who know they’ve done wrong doing!! 😎
also excuse (name)’s lame pirate alias i couldn’t think of one 😊💖
(Name) is so cool 😎 I admire her 💓
hope you enjoyed your hcs anon!! *super heroes away🦸‍♀️🚀*
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soleminisanction · 3 months ago
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making Bette Spoiler and Steph Flamebird
oh shit, this is genius. both steph and bette are obsessed with the robins of their generation and define their own development through them. ngl i would watch the interaction between nightwing damian and flimebird steph. are they salty exes? frenemies? any dynamic would be hysterical
Right? Right?? And if we go with 90s/early 00s Flamebird's idea of a showbiz superhero kind of like Beastboy or Kon, it'd be as easy as saying this is a world where Arthur never lost his gameshow gig and was actually successful in that. So instead of a supervillain, he's the celebrity kind of bad father, and Steph does Flamebird in part to spite him.
Meanwhile, Spoiler Bette would presumably work to expose white collar corruption in the Kane family and their corporate holdings. Which would make her relationship with her Robin, Jason, a fascinating inversion of the rich boy/middle class girl dynamic you get from the original Tim and Steph pairing. It would be really interesting!!
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suzukiblu · 1 year ago
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“Technically Young Justice is a situationship more than a superhero team these days, but they are just not gonna be explaining that to the Justice League” is soooo funny. How do you explain to the adult superheroes responsible for you that you trauma bonded so hard you’re in polyam relationship now. Being glued at the hip is not enough, you all need to crawl inside each other’s skin
lol I was pretty proud of that line, ngl. ❤️
They don't explain. They never explain. One day the Justice League just randomly finds out they're all technically listed as emergency-contact grandparents to an entire swarm of Core Four children and they're like "wait what when and how and WHO?!?!"
Answers range from: oh Kon's stepkid from Gemworld moved in because Earth has good school districts, Bart kinda accidentally picked up some adorable little orphans from the thirtieth century, Tim was forcibly adopted by a gang of feral Gotham street kids, Cassie took a ceramics class and the gods did NOT understand that she wasn't ACTUALLY trying to make herself an actual Wonderbaby, Cissie just kinda didn't want this kid she accidentally had when she got off-schedule with her birth control during the last apocalypse so she just gave it to them, they all found out Thad reproduced and had a superhero-CPS intervention before he could dump the kiddo in a VR chamber . . . you know, all the traditional methods.
. . . what do you MEAN Lex Luthor reopened Cadmus and--GODDAMMIT LEX THEY DON'T HAVE A BIG ENOUGH HOUSE FOR ALL THESE BABY DOOMSDAYS AND TINY KON 2.0s, WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS, YOU DIDN'T ACTUALLY HAVE TO CUSTOM-BUILD YOUR OWN DAMN GRANDBABIES.
Tim, stay away from the damn cloning chambers. TIM. TIM DRAKE YOU GET YOUR CAPED ASS BACK HERE.
Also at some point Krypto had puppies. Probably Krypton!Krypto AND Earth!Krypto had puppies, possibly together but it's unclear. No one is sure how it happened and frankly at this point they're afraid to ask.
. . . oh god they can ALL fly, why can they ALL fly, DAMMIT KON--
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rayzay · 1 year ago
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A lot of spelling mistakes, the plot is all over the place ngl.
Keep in mind English is not my first language!
Danny was immortal, he couldn't die. Well, he couldn't die by old age. His human form won't die naturally and it won't age either.
So, when all of his family, friends and just quite everyone he knew died, he was left alone. But his family and his two best friends still haven't moved on, Danny was their unfinished business. So, like a good normal family, they decided to haunt Danny! Which is cute, but also can be seen as something horrifying if you don't know the context.
So, 85 years later, Danny still changes last name everytime he needs to (so about every 4 years), jumping from foster family to foster family. He moved to state to state, never staying in the same state for too long.
And in 85 years, a lot has happened.
Here's what changed with the world :
Superheroes and metahumans/non-humans are way way more accepted in society.
A lot of big city appeared such as, Gotham and Blüdhaven in Jersey, Central City in Missouri, Metropolis in Illinois, Amnesty Bay in Maine, Blue Valley in Nevada, Coast City in California, Dakota City in well...Dakota. Fawcett City, Star City..etc..etc..
All of these have also something particular, they're home to a hero and said hero works for the JL, known as the Justice League.
Danny wasn't really interested in hero-ing anymore, after all, there was people literally paid by the government to do that, so why would he do charity work? Of course he'll help if there's a catastrophe, but he'll just help the civilians get to safety, that's all.
Life kind of sucked for Danny. He couldn't get attached by people too much because he'll know he's going to outlive all of them, so why even bother trying?
Danny needed to find a new place to stay, preferably a big city, and in a state he didn't appear this year.
Danny decides to pick Metropolis, it's one of the safest option after all, Superman does his work pretty well, and casualties and crimes rate are really really low there..plus, Sam kept pestering him asking him to meet Lois Lane. (Danny needed to do an essay about journalism for some reason, and he stumbled across Lois Lane Wikipedia page, she was quite the character.)
Sam instantly took a liking to her, she's everything she aspires to be.
Tucker, him, seemed interested in Lex corp, not in a “Oh, I'm so so fan of him!” kind of way, but more in a “His technology is one of the best in the world, he could easily rival against WE.” kind of way.
His parents and Jazz were guiding him, telling him what to not do, and what to do, sometimes they argue, sometimes they stay quiet, sometimes Danny tune them out, can't blame him honestly, if a psychologist was always nagging me, telling me what to say, and doing some unnecessary rant about whoever's is talking to Danny body language I would want to tune them out too.
But they're mostly trying their best..and Danny can't blame them for that.
His parents always did a “ability checkup test ” and it's basically Danny just flying around, shooting his blasts, doing a ectoplasm shield, duplicating...just testing all of his powers to see if they're all okay.
Which, they always are but his parents keep pushing him to do it, and he always agree just to make them shut up.
Danny found a new ability, something he deemed impossible to do, he can fly, he has his strength, his speed, his stamina and his reflexes but, with his human form.
But everything else that works with ectoplasm or his ghost core he didn't have.
So he was basically a less powerful version of him, which, sucks, but it's kinda cool.
His family were ecstatic and so was he! Plain old Danny could be more..but no, he has to stay low. Otherwise he's going to get found by Vlad, or worse.
Danny does something, extremely stupid, but fun for him.
He decides to fly in Metropolis, but just high enough so no one could see him! Even though Danny has the same powers when he's Danny Phantom, it's different, it's weird, he has his core to help him concentrate, hearing the frost in there soothe his nerves, and help him get focused.
But, it's different, he has his slow beating of his heart, which is quiet, really really quiet, it's drowning against the noises of the city
He can't focus he can't focus he can't-
Danny starts falling, which is okay because he can just turn into Danny Phantom and easily get out of this shitty situation, but noo, Danny had, and still has the shittiest luck ever.
Superman catch him, of fucking course.
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kairiscorner · 1 year ago
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OMIGOSH ok so what if spiderwoman reader moves into miles’ world and they have a sorta like ladynoir dynamic😻😻😻 but in the end miles goes over to readers house and finds out eachothers identitys omggg
HI !! OMG that's kinda cute ngl :> I WANT MORE TEASING MILES, YES PLEASE ?????? i hope u like this :>
(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ GUESS WHO? — miles 1610 x spider woman!reader
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• ·➤ summary: you were always miles' favorite spider person to tease, and to find out you were going to be staying in his world for a while... it made him a excited to finally have someone he could work together with. coincidentally, he met a new girl at school who caught his eye, he didn't realize she was hiding a big secret from him–until he discovered it himself.
• ·➤ pairing: miles 1610 x fem!reader • ·➤ genre: mainly fluff !! • ·➤ word count: 1,564 • ·➤ author's note: THIS DYNAMIC IS SO CUTEEEEEEE I HOPE Y'ALL LIKE THIS <333
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"never thought we'd cross paths again, spider woman." called out a playful, nonchalant voice from behind you as you were seated atop the roof of the high rise building you were perched upon. you sighed as you looked back at him, your mask's lenses showing evident frustration. "great, it's the guy whose armpits are bleeding." you murmured as miles smirked at you from underneath his mask, strutting around you, acting cocky as usual. "cold as ever, i see." he remarked as he playfully tapped your shoulder, with you sighing as you looked off into the distance. "y'know, this is my city to save, i'm the spider person of this dimension; never thought i'd be getting a sidekick. and to have my number one fan be that sidekick? gosh, i'm so flattered." he said sarcastically with a sigh. you didn't plan to stay any longer and instead swung away while miles wasn't looking. "hey, wait up!" he called after you as he swung off, following you. you expertly swung from building to building, underneath the railways of the trains moving from above, with miles calling out to you all the while. he finally caught up to you and nudged you with his elbow. "how long are you staying for?" he asked you as you shrugged. "i don't think you have to know." you promptly replied as you threw yourself up and landed on an abandoned building's rooftop that provided the best view in all of brooklyn.
miles followed you and watched you from afar as you looked over all the lit up buildings and streets below you all. he chuckled as he walked over next to you. "i know you aren't sidekick material, you're more... heroine material, but can we just... set aside the fact you're always annoyed by me and just protect the city? i mean, now that you're here and all." miles rambled as you placed a hand on his shoulder. "these people are gonna be the people i need to save now, so... 'course i will. but you'll be the sidekick." you quipped as you leaped off the rooftop and swung off into the night. miles chuckled as he watched you go with a grin. he had known you for a while, ever since the collider incident, he had looked up to you and appreciated how well you upheld your duty as spider woman, though he never knew the person behind the mask. he wasn't going to pry your identity from you, after being spider man for a whole year, he's come to value and separate his secret identity from his superhero identity.
the next day, he had met this new girl in his class. she was a little quiet and didn't have many friends; she kinda faded into the background, but miles was immediately drawn to her, as if he had this sense that just compelled him to talk to her. "hi, you new around here?" miles asked her in a cheery voice, with her appearing a little surprised at miles' friendly demeanor. miles promptly stepped back a little and awkwardly smiled. "um, yeah, i am." she replied as she looked deep into miles' eyes. miles didn't really feel uncomfortable at her intense gazing into his eyes, though he did feel a little self-conscious. "sorry i'm staring, i..." "it's cool, you don't have to explain yourself, it's fine." he said with a flustered voice as he smiled a little wider that a girl was giving him so much attention, a sweet and pretty one, at that.
miles offered to show her around the school, but not before they both introduced themselves to each other. the two hit it off naturally, and they agreed to meet together after school to get to know each other a little better. though when a crazed tech geek started robbing a local pawn shop, they both had to cancel. miles ran off to change quickly into his spider suit, and before he could even make it back to get the villain's attention, spider woman was already dancing with the villain. miles hit the villain's blind spot, catching their attention as you webbed up their gear. "ey, right on time! i would compliment you for coming on time, but you stole my thunder, so that's not cool!" he quipped as he punched the villain and webbed up their arms.
"so what if i did? these streets aren't just yours to save now, sidekick!" you shot back as you both swung around the villain and webbed up their eyes. you both knocked the villain out with swift kicks to their face as they lay there on the pavement, dazed and for the authorities to clean up. the onlookers all had their phones out, buzzing and capturing this very moment: spider man and a spider woman are teaming up? everyone was applauding you two, while also clamoring you both with questions. as miles tried to calm and appease the crowd, you ran off and swung your way back home. "hey, wait for me!" he called out to you as the crowd watched you two go off, still asking questions, like where spider woman came from, what your relationship is with each other, who's the sidekick between you two--but all those questions went unanswered as miles caught up after you, with you weaseling away from him.
miles still looked around for you, searching every alleyway and street for you--every place he would hide if some spider person he was annoyed with to no end was following him--but you were nowhere in sight. "just wanted to say thanks for your help..." miles muttered to himself as he got a text notification on his phone. it came from the girl he just met today, and her asking him if he was okay. miles texted her back with a cute, smiley kaomoji that he was okay, he just had to make a quick break for the bathroom because... he did not piss himself when the villain arrived, of course!
miles was texting her as he swung off, heading home. he asked her if he could visit her still since the issue back there was taken care of by brooklyn's coolest spider man and his new sidekick, spider woman. she defended spider woman's honor and said it seemed like spider man was her sidekick back there. "whether spider man was the sidekick is like time, relative! you see it your way, i see it my way." he texted her as she sent him an eyeroll emoji. she told him he could come to her house soon, trusting him with her address. miles told her he'd be over in 5, but was already on his way there, seeing as how she... was actually living in his neighborhood.
he found her address and saw a glimpse of the back of her head by the window and swung over to her. he was about to crawl over to the front door once he confirmed it really was her, all safe and sound at home, though... she turned around immediately when miles' gazed lingered on her back while she was all clad in... a spider suit? "is that... spider woman's?" he asked himself as her gaze suddenly met his, and– "you?!" he exclaimed as he almost lost his grip on the wall he was scaling, nearly falling down to the sidewalk below if you didn't rush to your window and shoot a web on him, catching him before he fell.
miles caught his breath and lost it again as he stared up at you. "you're... the new girl." he murmured as you pulled him up and into your room. you hoped nobody saw you shoot a web at him, but miles was staring at you with enlarged eyes and a flustered face. "you knew... i was... wow. you stared at me a whole lot today, then..." he realized as he soon smiled to himself as you webbed his mouth. "...not another word, morales." you said in an embarrassed tone as you looked away from him, evidently flustered that miles discovered your true self; the self that was... kinda interested in being friends with miles.
miles ripped your webbing off his mouth as he winced and slightly smirked at you. "if you wanted to be friends, all you needed was to say it, i would love to be friends, not just sidekick and heroine." he said with a chuckle as you crossed your arms over your chest. "not happening." "well it did happen since you invited me over..." "i invited miles morales, not spider man." "it's a two-in-one deal, either you take it or leave it, and i know you wanna take it." miles teased you as you looked at him from the corner of your eye, trying to conceal your flustered expression. you sighed as you sat down on your bed, with miles following you and sitting down next to you. you extended your hand out to him. "fine. to being friends, i guess." you muttered as miles took your hand in his and shook it, with a big grin on his face. "to being friends... and being my sidekick–ow!" he exclaimed as you jokingly punched him when he called you his sidekick. looks like brooklyn has two new defenders, and two new... not really enemies trying to be friends and living as normal teenagers, more or less!
tags !! @k4tsu3 @fiannee @luvstarrstruck @toneystank-3000 @ii01vq @maxoloqy @popeheywardssecretgf @solecitoszn
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sanguineterrain · 1 year ago
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get a little action in | miguel o'hara
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Summary: Spider-Man doesn't like you. And for the record? You're not crazy about him either. But you kind of wish you could see his eyes when he swings you across the city. For curiosity's sake.
Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x gn!reader (some Spanish language is female-gendered, but other than that, no gendered descriptions.)
Word count: 2.2k
Content desc: rivals, superhero!reader (kinda - they're trying their best). miguel's a bit of a jerk ngl but he's a SEXY jerk <3 very enemies to lovers coded. swapped insults, injuries, and a whole lot of charged flirting. (lyla thinks they're adorable.)
A/N: i actually think this fic is the closest i've gotten to miguel's canon personality compared to my previous (delusional) characterizations of him lol. hope you guys like this one! as always, i appreciate corrections to the Spanish if needed, but it's no one's responsibility to do so!
Translations: 
¡Chingada madre! - Motherfucker!
¡Pinche pendeja! - Fucking asshole!
¡No mames! Eres una idiota. - I don't believe this! You're an idiot.
¡Cállate, por Dios! - Shut up, oh my God!
¡Ay, coño! ¿Qué demonios haces? - Oh, fuck! What the hell are you doing?
¿Qué? ¿Qué quieres? - What? What do you want?
¿Estás loca? ¿De dónde sacas esas ideas? - Are you crazy? Where do you get these ideas?
No seas estúpida. - Don't be stupid.
Porque tu haces un desmadre. Eres un dolor en el culo. - Because you make a mess. You're a pain in the ass.
Ve. - Go.
follow @sanguine-marvel for all future miguel fic notifications!
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“All units be advised: 10-33 on 10th and Palisade. Suspect is known as “Captain Darkness.” Approach with caution.”
You shove the police scanner into your bag and stash it in the alley by your apartment. You’re close to 10th and Palisade, and the cops have lost Nueva York’s newest supervillain, Captain Darkness, three times already. For all the mocking headlines the press write about him, he sure seems to be the one laughing every time.
You pull your mask over your face as you make your way to the abandoned factory on 10th and Palisade. It looks normal from the outside, but the code means there’s been an explosion. 
Probably best to enter through the back. 
It’s dark, because supervillains like to nail the atmosphere, and that means there’s no budget for lighting. The factory smells damp, moldy. You hope you don’t get sick. Vigilantism doesn’t come with health insurance.
You stay close to the wall, ears tuned for any sounds. Usually, a good villain would have clocked your entrance by now. The fact that Captain Darkness (a stupid-ass name for a stupid-ass villain) hasn’t—
BRIIIING! BRIIIING!
Alarms blare throughout the factory. Your ears ring from the volume. 
Okay. Maybe you’ve underestimated him.
You run; stealth doesn’t matter now, only speed. Captain Darkness is, predictably, at the center of the factory. He has all the typical workings of a mad scientist: electric ball thingy, giant lie detector-looking thingy, et cetera. You go up the stairs of his platform to get closer.
Except there’s something you’ve never seen before. It sort of resembles a portal. Fuck.
Captain Darkness spots you immediately. He has giant crab legs fused to the lower half of his body, which you’d think were sick if he wasn’t such a jagoff. 
“Well, hello,” he says, sneering down at you. “I don’t believe we’ve met. Are you one of the Spiderlings?”
“I’m offended by the suggestion,” you say, darting towards the electric ball first. 
It looks easy enough to shut off, except the Captain blocks your path immediately. He knocks you across the platform. You cough at the impact. The concrete bruises your right temple.
“Alright, that’s it.” You grunt, pushing yourself up. “Now I’m gonna kick your ass for real.”
The Captain laughs. “By all means, hit me with your best shot.”
So you do. You manage to knock him backwards, his clunky crab legs sliding on the platform. You take the opening and shut off one machine, which causes a crackle of electricity in the air. The hair on your arms rises.
But being a mad crab scientist apparently means you have a lot of time on your hands, and Captain Darkness whips out what looks like a ray gun. He blasts you and knocks you off the platform. You hit your ribs hard, and your vision blurs for a second.
The portal begins to whir, warming up. Captain Darkness towers over you, grinning maniacally.
“Your efforts are adorable, but I suggest you find another line of work. No one will stop me from opening a portal. Once I venture to other worlds, I’ll be unstoppable. This world will be mine! Finally, everyone who ever—”
“Oh my God,” you groan, clutching your ribs. “Please don’t start monologuing. Do you know how cliche you sound right now? Blah blah blah, your parents didn’t give you enough attention so you’re insecure and power-hungry. Do I look like Dr. Phil to you?”
His eyes flash and one crab leg grabs a nearby tool cart. 
“You’re no longer amusing me,” he says. "Goodbye." 
The tool cart is flung in your direction, and you roll, covering your head and bracing for the worst. But the crash never comes. You look to see several orange webs wrapped around the cart. The cart flies backwards and hits Captain Darkness right in his face.
Miguel O’Hara lands on the railing of the platform, perched gracefully. He doesn’t waste a second in going after the Captain.
“Oh, where did you even come from?” you shout, pushing yourself to stand. “I have it handled!”
“I’m not dignifying that with a response,” Miguel growls as he easily dodges the Captain’s grasp. 
He swings to the other side, aiming for the portal which has now fired up. 
Perfect. Damn it, it should be you that J. Jonah Jameson will scream about on the news tomorrow morning, not Spider-Dorito. 
You force yourself to get up so you can try to apprehend the Captain. But he has other plans; one of the machines sparks, and suddenly, hundreds of flying crab-shaped robots pour out of the mouth of the portal. Miguel shouts orders to Lyla. 
You’re only interested in one thing: taking down Captain frickin’ Darkness. So you go after him, leaving the factory. Unfortunately, the crab-bots take that as an invitation to leave too, zeroed in on your destruction. Your ribs are killing you, and whatever the Captain blasted you with left a nasty gash on your hip. 
Still, you limp and pant through the pain. You’re not letting this guy get away a fourth time. No way. Captain Darkness has been a thorn in Nueva York’s side for several weeks now and you’ve been tracking him for just as long. You need to get him.
“¡Chingada madre!”
You glance over your shoulder and see a flash of blue and red. Miguel is right behind you, fighting through the cluster of crab-bots. The sight makes your blood boil.
“Fuck off!” you wheeze out. “He’s mine, O’Hara!”
“If you hadn’t stumbled in and screwed everything up, we wouldn’t even be in this situation right now!” he snarls. “¡Pinche pendeja!”
Fucking Spider-Man. It’s because of him that Nueva York doesn’t even know who you are. Every time you get remotely close to taking down a criminal, Miguel swoops in and saves the day. Not without giving you grief, of course. You’re too weak, too disorganized, too slow—you’re too wrong, according to him. He’s told you multiple times to stay away, but hey, he should know by now you’re also too stubborn to listen.
You pull your hand away from your rib. It’s tacky with blood. You’re slowing down, too; you aren’t enhanced like a hero is supposed to be, and after going two rounds with Captain Crabcake, it seems you’re about to meet your untimely fate with killer crustacean robots. 
You really should’ve become a lawyer like your mother wanted.
“¡No mames! Eres una idiota.”
You feel Miguel’s breath on your neck before his arm curls around your waist. You cry indignantly but he doesn’t let go, heaving you into his grip and continuing to run.
“Let go of me!” you demand, wiggling in his grip.
“Shut up.”
“I don’t need you to save me,” you snap.
He looks down at you, red masked eyes burning into you.
“No? ‘Cause every time you screw up, I’m the one fixing your mess. How many times have I told you to go home?”
“I had it under control,” you say. 
Miguel doesn’t even look at you. Your injuries are jostled with every step and you have to fight to not whine in pain. But you don’t try to squirm away again. You’re no match for his strength, and, unfortunately, he’s a lot faster than you. If you want to live, Miguel’s your ride. 
“Lyla, find me a route.”
Lyla pops up on Miguel’s other shoulder. She leers at you, raising her eyebrows.
“Am I interrupting something?” she asks. 
“Lyla. Route, now.” 
“Alright, alright,” she says, sounding far too smug. “Might I suggest going airborne?”
Your fingers dig into Miguel’s giant shoulder as he flings a web string at a nearby fire escape. He shifts you to one arm. Your eyes pop out of your head.
“No, wait, I have a terrible fear of—”
He doesn’t wait, the asshole, and you scream as he pulls both of you up. Now you’re bleeding, clinging to the worst person in the world, and at least two hundred feet off the ground. Somehow, killer crab-bots would’ve been better. 
“¡Cállate, por Dios!” he shouts, jerking his head away from you. “Unless you want me to drop you.”
“I’m gonna kill you, O’Hara,” you say, closing your eyes. “I’m gonna—oh, God.” You swallow hard, feeling dizzy. “I think I’m gonna hurl.”
“Do not throw up on me.”
You peek over his shoulder, trying not to watch the buildings blur by. That’s when you spot the army of robots behind you. And they look mad.
“Shit, shit!” you hiss, jolted out of your nausea. 
You reach down Miguel’s broad back, feeling for the nifty little gadgets you know he keeps on him.
“¡Ay, coño! ¿Qué demonios haces?”
He swats at your wandering hands. You smack him back.
“I’m trying to save us, if you don’t mind!”
“Do not touch anything—” he starts.
A bot whizzes by, firing at you both. Miguel wobbles on the next swing, trying to fight off the bot. 
“Lyla, three o’clock!” you yell.
Tiny rockets fire from Miguel’s suit, taking out several bots. There’s too many, though; you need another plan.
“Lyla, run diagnostics on the bots,” you say, grunting as Miguel swings sharply around a corner.
“Lyla, don’t do anything I don’t tell you to,” Miguel says. “She’s not yours to—”
“Water,” Lyla interrupts, understanding where your brain is. “They malfunction in water.”
“Huh. That’s ironic.”
Ahead, the waterfront is quickly coming into view. You pinch Miguel’s shoulder. He hisses, his suit’s eyes narrowing at you. 
“¿Qué? ¿Qué quieres?”
“The Hudson,” you say. 
“I can’t just dive into the river, we’ll both—”
“Use me as bait,” you say. 
“¿Estás loca? ¿De dónde sacas esas ideas?”
“I pull them out of my butt,” you say, rolling your eyes.
“You couldn’t even destroy the portal,” he says scathingly. “I’m not throwing you into the river, tempting as that is.”
“You don’t have a better idea, smartass. And unless you want them tearing up Manhattan, you’ll do it.”
“No seas estúpida,” he says. 
“Can’t help it. It’s one of my superpowers.”
Miguel lands on a rooftop. He drops you none too carefully, and you land hard on your butt. You grunt, the movement squishing your injury. 
“Lyla,” Miguel says.
“Yup,” she says, popping up on your shoulder and scanning your body. “Bruised ribs, and a gash right on top. If you wrap it, they’ll be fine.”
Miguel takes out a bandage and tears the top off. You’ve seen them before; they’re of his own creation, and used widely by his Spider Society. Never on civilians, which is what you are, according to him.
He crouches and shoves your suit up, then wraps the bandage around your stomach. The wrapping begins to expand and you feel the sting of cold gel. He yanks your suit back down without a word.
“I’m sure my ribs are broken,” you say through a wheezy exhale.
“Nope! Just bruised. You really shouldn’t fall from those kinds of heights,” Lyla says cheerily.
“Yeah, you were definitely programmed by him,” you mutter.
You start to get up. 
“Don’t even think about it,” Miguel says. 
“Screw you.”
“You living here screws me enough.”
“I don’t need your help! Why can’t you stay in your own damn lane, O’Hara?”
“Porque tu haces un desmadre. Eres un dolor en el culo.”
“The feeling is mutual,” you say through gritted teeth. “And you can’t stop me from going after him.”
His suit’s eyes narrow. Quick as anything, he flings two webs over your wrists. You squawk, now glued to the pavement.
“This is illegal!” you screech, twisting your wrists. “Let me go!”
“Stay out of my way,” Miguel says. “I won’t save your ass next time.”
You glare up at him, still breathing hard. It only makes you angrier that Miguel hasn’t broken a sweat.
“I hope those bots tear up the Spider Society!” you say. “I hope—I hope your suit malfunctions and the whole city sees your ass.”
Miguel pauses, and turns around. 
“Uh, Miguel?” Lyla asks. “The murder robots? Kinda urgent.”
“Tell Jess to go downtown and cut them off there.”
“But—” 
“Ve.”
He stands over you. You fling your legs up, trying to get a kick in, but he quickly puts a stop to that, resting a heavy foot on both of your ankles. 
Miguel bends down. You burn with curiosity about how he looks under the mask. It’s twisted of you to wonder, considering what an arrogant jerk he is. You could fill several encyclopedias with Miguel O’Hara’s worst traits. 
Still, you wonder. You wonder what color his eyes are. If his hair is short or long. If he smiles at all. His expression when you get under his skin.
You’d learned his real name by accident. Whether he knows your identity or not, you don’t know. You wonder if he has to stop himself from saying your name.
“You’re lucky I don’t web that dirty mouth of yours,” Miguel says, his face inches from yours. “I’ve been considering it.”
You lift your chin.
“You think about my mouth a lot, O’Hara?”
He jerks back, like you’ve startled him. He stands, turning around.
“Don’t let me see you out here again,” he says.
“Wait!” you cry. “What about the webs?!”
Miguel shoots a web towards the street.
“What about them? You don’t need my help, remember?”
Then he’s gone. 
Fucking Spider-Man.
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swaps55 · 5 months ago
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Okay so I usually don't really care for OCs in a story, but the Yang's crew has stolen my heart completely ngl. So I was wondering, what would Pendergrass, Aslany and Beaudoin think about the ME1 Normandy's crew? How would they get along with them?
I've been sitting on this question so I could give it the attention it deserves, because it's a really fun thought exercise.
[And now that I've written this out, I really wish I could put them on the SR-1 and explore it further, so thank you again for an amazing question.]
Beaudoin: By nature, he gets along with everyone, but I think if you were to put him on the SR-1 or mix him with that crew, he'd feel really out of his element. He's never seen himself as anything other than Just A Guy. The superhero stuff is for other people. Courage, bravery, heroism, and The Cause isn't his thing, not because he doesn't care, but because he lacks the drive and initiative people like Sam, Kaidan, and Aslany do. (Pendergrass doesn't have initiative so much as insatiable curiosity and an unsettling lack of concern for safety).
So when it comes to the SR-1 crew, he'd probably feel even more of what he did on the 'Yang with Sam - that he's not good enough to work with these people. But he's very good at hiding his insecurities, so you probably wouldn't see it unless you knew what to look for.
He'd probably avoid Wrex. Dealing with Wrex is outside his paygrade. Garrus' loose cannon tendencies would worry him a lot, and he'd nag Sam to watch that guy because he was bound to get himself and everyone else in trouble. I wrote a scene in my ME1-fic, Exordium, in which Shepard (not Sam) notices Ashley get weird during a card game, finds her in the cargo bay, and then discovers she was playing poker with her unit when the geth attacked. Beaudoin would be the guy who sought her out if he were there, and he'd give her someone to talk to or confide in about Eden Prime, pep talk her about her family legacy, and have a smile when she needed it.
He'd find Tali delightful and charm the pants off her. He'd make sure she had something decent to eat, and when he figures out she's lonely away from home, guess who becomes a Fleet and Flotilla fan and sucks Ashley into it. The three of them hold watch parties, and suck in everyone they can. Aslany has to be dragged kicking and screaming, but she does it for Clay even though she scowls the whole time. He'd be equal parts fascinated and amused by Liara's blend of competence and naivete. He'd be the one to shake Sam by the shoulders and say, "to you Benezia was a monster to put down, but to Liara it was her mom."
Joker and Ashley would severely test his, "you don't fuck crew," motto, but he'd resist. Virmire would put a rift between him and Sam, while also putting himself in a guilt spiral, because the other choice would have been to leave Kaidan behind, and he wouldn't have been able to live with that, either. Virmire, more than anything, would teach Beaudoin things about what Sam does that he never truly grasped on the 'Yang, and reinforce that he wants no part of that. I think he gets out of the Alliance after Virmire.
Pendergrass: We saw in Fugue that Pendergrass developed some pretty intense jealousy over the SR-1 crew, fearing that Kaidan and Sam had replaced her with something better. And I think if she were on the SR-1, she'd get off on the wrong foot with Tali specifically. But they're both huge tech nerds, and Tali is Tali and Kara is Kara, so that would pass quickly. It wouldn't be long before they'd be attached at the hip, and and when one of them said, "I have an idea," the whole ship would nervously hold their breath.
She wouldn't get Liara at all, and probably ask a lot of really inappropriate questions about asari sexuality, requiring Beaudoin to intervene and explain to Liara, "Sorry, she's just Like That, she doesn't mean anything by it.' She would have no fear of Wrex, thanks to Sam's reverent krogan talk over the years. Wrex would find her excessively irritating at first, but would find a deep appreciation for her after watching her work in the field. She's a different kind of warrior with different weapons than he's used to, but a warrior all the same. If you can imagine anyone lounging in Wrex's lap to watch a movie, please imagine Kara.
She might bounce off Ashley a little for similar reasons to her initial clash with Tali, but my guess is they don't make up the ground the way Kara and Tali do. ME1 Garrus is probably a little too intense and focused for her, but she'd get along famously with ME3 Garrus. She'd think he was funny, and take his side over Vega's when they play one-up with each other.
Aslany: She would predispose herself to hating everyone. This is her family, her squad, and fuck you. You aren't part of it. Opening up her small circle of people she loves so fiercely would be extremely difficult for her. None of them are good enough to protect her people. Kara becoming close with Tali and Beaudoin becoming close with Ashley would make her crazy. She'd need a lot of reassurance, and Kaidan is probably who she'd go to for it. Ironically, she'd find Wrex the least threatening and warm up to him first. He'd be skeptical of the fragile human who wants to spar, but ultimately sing her praises, and Sam would be insanely proud of this.
She might grudgingly start to tolerate Ashley, but by that time it'll be too late. She probably becomes more neutral towards Liara, but the swiftness with which Liara becomes close to Sam would irk her a lot. Garrus would also piss her off - who the fuck does this guy think he is, I'm the sniper in this family - but after the events of ME2 she would respect him for sticking with Sam when the rest of them didn't, and see him a lot differently.
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