#why express
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Last 3 nights in a row. Thoughts of you & only you just live rent free in my head.
Today while at work, thought of you, rushed so fast to my phone to message you. Just to realize, that your gone.
Barely been getting sleep, craving just the simple sound of your voice.
To have one thought. One idea to a thought for you and I to be a fool for craving let alone wanting someone who can't even stand me let alone be near me.
Thanks I guess? Idk so much just killing me inside lately.. honestly wish I was heard but I barely a word any more. Guess you could say. I don't even have the energy any more.
Feels like broken glass and egg shells everywhere to everything I say. Crave to say and express, but honestly,I've lost that voice, not sure that its lost by any means... it was taken & tossed, from craving to say & express...
To Crave, to just keeping my self to staying & saying for my self to shut up.
Not a word not a peep, not from me. As i found out, shutting up is key to now just to be craving to be held in just silents, to feel touch, a grip, to be worth just a few words.
But know I'm not safe as I craved your safety but knowing g it's now a jinx..
I feel as if I'm no one...
"From your Pup. Love JDNJ to B..."
#Changed everthing wrong with me just for you#changed 4 u just 2 b a joke 4 u#so much effort to change#just for it to be nothing#backstabbed#lied through her teeth#lied to get what she want#her saying she is trying#but yet knew she was not#broken family#trashylove#trashpartner#ignored#forever shutting up#why speak#why express#just to be shiton
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the tradwife movement is the same as it has always been - back in the kitchen, back to breeding - it just has better branding.
when i was younger, i hated pink. i was not like other girls. this is now something i'm embarrassed of - this was not me being a "girl's girl."
but it was expressing something many of us felt at the time: i literally wasn't what girlhood was supposed to be. this is a hard thing to explain, but you know when you're not performing girlhood correctly. it isn't as easy as "i liked x when girls liked y" - because there were other girls that liked x, too - but i never figured out exactly the correct way to like x, or to be interested in y.
now there is the divine feminine. this is the same rhetoric it has always been: women are biologically driven to like pink and ribbons and submitting to our husbands.
the problem is that the patriarchy found a better PR team. because yes, actually, i want every woman to have the choice to be a homemaker. i also want her taken seriously for her legitimate home-making labor. i want her to be recognized as also having a job, just unpaid. i want men to have this opportunity, too.
but it is no longer "i made this choice and I love it." instead it is a sixteen-paragraph rant about how selfish it is that my generation isn't having kids. instead it's long videos about how if you feed your children processed foods, you're going to kill them. instead it is "this is what womanhood is supposed to be. i feel bad for any other choices you're making."
the shame spiral is just prettier. it is large houses devoid of personality. it is the implication: if you don't have this, you aren't happy. the solid, everlasting assurance: women are actually supposed to be submitting. this is the default. this is the natural state of things. all other attempts inflict suffering.
but you can no longer say i'm not like other girls. you can no longer reject this image completely. you cannot find it revolting, even if you know that the underbelly is toxic and festering. sure, it is the same repackaged patriarchy. but the internet does not have shades of grey. you should support and reward other women! your disgust is actually internalized misogyny. not because you are seeing a vision of yourself the way they're trying to train you to be. not because you feel her ghost pass within an inch of your earlobe. not because your father will eventually ask you - why can't you be like her?
because they figured out how to make it beautiful: women will sell other women on this idea, and we will find the singular loophole in feminism. sure, she's shaming you in most of her videos. sure, she implies that a different life is obscene. but she just wants you to be happy! you'd be happier if you were listening!
and the whole time you're sitting there thinking: i'd actually just be happier if i had that kind of money.
#spilled ink#writeblr#warm up#this is an incredibly difficult idea to express#but i basically keep watching the same timelooped interaction:#someone makes tradwife content where she's like ''i think it's SO sad when ppl don't have kids EW''#and then the response is ''... go fuck yourself? i think ur life is miserable and bad ?"#and instead of being like ''oh we are all under capitalism huh''#the response is like ''you CANT say that. she made a CHOICE. she is ALLOWED to have KIDS and be HAPPY#unlike YOU who is UNHAPPY bc you don't have KIDS.''#like .... these are people who will throw the first stone. and then when you lob one back#they ask why you're so violent. they tell you that you're a bad activist.#and you're like. PARDON????? you implied being a woman meant i need to submit to my husband???#and they're like - well it's just my belief. so what if i'm invalidating your entire identity.
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#minecraft#why...why? whats with the obsession with live action for material thats clearly best expressed in animation?
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Have a meme because I have no self control
Lucifer just seems like the kinda guy who’d lose his mind over ppl being too hot (our bi short king)
I spent way too much effort on this pls like it ily 🙏
Bonus (radioapple) doodles as always (edit: I. I just realised I forgot Al’s monocle in both doodles. I am dying inside. Why did no one tell me.):
#WHY DO ALL OF THEM HAVE A BOWTIE#As usual my handwriting is dogshit hope u enjoy the meme <3#I know Charlie is bi but that also means she likes girls so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#Lucifer has a ‘tHIS biTCH’ expression specially for alastor it’s canon viv told me#hazbin#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin hotel art#hazbin hotel 2024#hazbin art#hazbin lucifer#hazbin angel dust#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel charlie#hazbin charlie#hazbin chaggie#hazbin hotel alastor#radio demon#vivziepop#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel angel dust#hazbin hotel anthony#angel dust#alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel husk#husker#chaggie#charlie x vaggie#thorium.art
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how it felt to wake up today
#my art#oc#twisted wonderland#twst#jamil viper#twst oc#twst yuu#shiokawa mayu#jamimayu#every year they begin the new bday cards by nuking the jamil fans#how does it feel jamil nation#i have not been able to not think about him since i saw#why is he like that WHY#the most bbg pose and expression ive ever seen#mayus out of commission for a while sorry she is GONE#turned to dust#just like me#twst jp spoilers#just in case
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pov your ex held your collection of thrifted spoons hostage for over a year (not entirely his fault, they got mixed up in his things during a move and you did not realize it, though he did adamantly deny that he had them) and reached out to your roommate on instagram nine months post break up after being thoroughly blocked for several months just to ask if you were still roommates and then to very cryptically reveal that he had in fact found the spoons (among other, mystery items that he did not reveal and you also have no idea what they are) in his car that he had not driven for a year cause he decided to make the worst financial decision of his life and buy a tesla and then tried to coordinate a meet up to drop off said spoons and mystery items which you did not want but you do want your spoons so you told him to either mail it or show up to your place of work when you were not scheduled only for him to entirely miss the point and still try to see you, then you reveal that you do not want to see him so he finally says that he will put on his big boy pants and mail it (though him actually mailing it is entirely unlikely) and also aparently hes gotten a perm since the last time you saw him and it looks terrible
#anyone relate? no? just me? sigh#not a tag#from saph#for anyone whos asked oh why did you and brad break up#well you see#^^^^^^^^#you all have my expressed permission to use this as a fanfic plot if you would like please tag me in it i want to see it if you write it#hE HAS ALSO REQUESTED TO FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM AGAIN SIR PLEASE YOU TRIED TO BREAK UP WITH ME OVER TEXT
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“Women and non-binary people” stop. Do you mean people with marginalized genders? Do you mean gender-oppressed people? Then say that. Stop refusing to recognize the very much gendered oppression of other trans people. There’s not some chasm of difference between how our oppressors treat a very masc non-binary person and a more binary trans man. I’m also non-binary and very much oppressed for my gender but because I’m transmasculine I could never feel comfortable in a space that marketed itself like that. Tell me what the real harm is of letting gender-oppressed mascs into spaces discussing gender oppression is. Because the consequence of not doing so is denying them space for their experiences just because of their gender identity. Do better.
#‘’but 🥺 we don’t want men in our spaces 🥺’’ why. these men are oppressed for their gender identity & expression.#‘’well some people have trauma around men’’ some people have trauma around women too. should we keep them out of queer spaces#‘’their appearance might make someone uncomfortable’’ are you also keeping out cis women butches and trans women who aren’t hyper femme#because if so your space has serious problems and you are the one making gender-oppressed people uncomfortable#so many trans women are wary of these spaces because they police perceived masculinity. so how abt stop doing that#transandrophobia#intracommunity issues tag#mine
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some people have asked about making zines, and i've seen a lot of people in the tags talk about wanting to make some but don't know how... so here is a zine (technically two) about making zines! wowza! pardon the handwriting lol
there are other methods of making zines that require a stapler or sewing, but this one-page zine is the simplest form of it.
i hope this makes sense, feel free to ask if anything is unclear :]
#i seriously think everyone should make zines. i think they're one of the best means of self expression#zinemaking#zine#mini zine#illustration#analogue art#tutorial#i don't know why the tail of my Y in that final “you” is so short.... it looks like uou 💀#nonfandom
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[Day 154]
Unhinged people 💥💥💥
#dddaily4sherin#ldshadowlady#smallishbeans#mumbo jumbo#ethoslab#grian#goodtimeswithscar#pearlescentmoon#secret life#secret life smp#traffic smp#trafficblr#my art#Thought I wanna practice drawing some of these peeps more so why not also practice expressions#and then I proceeded to add colors HEMELEPKWPA
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I know several other people have redrawn that one official cloudtail & brightheart art but i wanted to take a crack at it. Hire me harpercollins.
[ID: a digital painting of Cloudtail and Brightheart from Warriors in a semi-realistic style. Cloudtail is a fluffy white cat with blue eyes, and Brightheart is a ginger-and-white cat with one blue eye and heavy scarring on the other side of her face, including an empty eyesocket, shredded ear, and part of her lip torn away to reveal her teeth. The cats are facing towards the viewer, looking happy, with Brightheart leaning her head into Cloudtail's muzzle. They are in a field of tall grass with mountains visible in the background and a tree with a few leaves looming over them. End ID]
Original below the cut for comparison
[ID: a painting similar to the first one, but Brightheart and Cloudtail are drawn in a more realistic style, lacking expression, and not leaning into each other. Brightheart has much less ginger on her pelt and her scarring is reduced to a few scratches on her eye. End ID]
#am i a cat artist now??? ok whatever theyre fun#Mainly i wanted to fix brights appearance and make them more affectionate bc they Are Mates like one of the healthiest canon couples#also i guess its kinda hard to tell but i wanted to imply bright is lying down instead of being much shorter than cloudtail for some reason#But um. i also dont really like the style of the new english official art lol. the smudge tool fur...#And cats are super expressive irl like a realistic style shouldnt prevent cat art from looking expressive?? Anyway.#warrior cats#warriors#wc#brightheart#cloudtail#brightcloud#cloudbright#art#2024#I drew this in one sitting why did i do that
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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Headcanon: Deep down they both want to be their fairy godparent/godkid again after losing them, but don't believe they deserve each other and feel like they aren't worthy to be their companion anymore
They both need counseling and therapy as a whole package
#fairly oddparents#fairly oddparents a new wish#peri#peri fairywinkle cosma#dev dimmadome#fop a new wish#peri fairly oddparents#a new wish#periwinkle#the fairly oddparents#dev#my art#fanart#I like how both Peri and Dev is the type who prefers not directly express their feelings because they want to be seen as cool/independent#and be loved by the people that they care of#in other words#a tsundere//hit#jokes aside I like to think another reason why Dev cried during that scene is because-#he realized he's doing the same thing that his dad has done to him but on Peri#and yet Peri still cares for him despite his treatment towards him#like how Dev still loves his dad despite being a terrible father#and just..want to do everything right by him to earn his dad affection#man#Also ngl I have a hunch that Dev might still remember since Hazel's ''no rule'' wish was pretty vague#so maybe he counts in that wish?#plus he was wearing sunglasses before the memory wipe which maybe that won't affect him as well?#you can see I'm coping rn#I do hope this is only temporary and we will see them being back together in season 2 tho#giving them both some time to reflect and growth#because Peri clearly needs more experience in his job and Dev needs his character development for season 2
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i'm ready to try
#This drawing is kind of personal to me#I recently graduated (CUM LAUDE WOOOO!!!!) and its like. not to get depressing#but when i was younger i was never sure whether i would make it to this point#When i was going through what i consider to still be like. the worst time of my entire life#This fictional character was there for me and she was something for me to latch onto and cope with#eGem helped me a lot with being able to process my emotions at the time but also helped me to reflect on myself#which i think is a big reason as to why I'm really happy with where i am with myself right now#I'm going off to uni next school year to study astronomy!!! which!!!#Im also doing because of eGem!!! She ignited this kind of childlike wonder for space for me#I love doing math and physics and whilst Im still a bit scared because. honestly i don't know whether this is what i want to do with my lif#I think i'll be okay either way#either way i wanted to draw egem again even if i haven't done so in a while because its like#i think i wouldnt be who i am without her. i think i'd be a lot worse off#so like. thank you empires smp thank you geminitay thank you egem This drawing is me expressing my gratitude#AND THANK YOU AUTISM!#empires smp#empires smp s1#empiresblr#esmp#geminitay#art#fanart#alice.art#mcyt#mcytblr#song is andromeda by weyes blood... obv.. you guys know me by now :oP
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fabian is such a sweetie and he will not convince me otherwise. genuinely there’s no reason for him to make up with gertie bc the rest of them have enough good standing with her to work with her, he fully did that for kristen. the way he approached it too, wasn’t like “oh im gonna get her off my back so we can deal with the honey thing” no it was pure good soul lou wilson shining through fabian going “hey if there’s even a BUMP on this road to love for my friend because of me? i’m repaving the entire fucking street lets go”
#i love my soft boy#why do none of these children know how to express love properly#you’d think they have enough parents with the polycule#fantasy high junior year spoilers#untapped rage#fabian aramais seacaster#fabian seacaster#lou wilson#kristen applebees#gertie bladeshield#kristen x gertie#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#dimension 20#fhjy#liveblogging#500#1000#1500#2000
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reconciliation after a quarrel didn't come up with the reason of the quarrel btw lol
#we can imagine that they mean that situation from 7-8 eps maybe#some tender expressions of love#gentle movements#murder drones#uzi doorman#serial designation n#biscuit bites#nuzi#my art#don't beat me uzi can be a little wild-#and n too-#why apologize with words when you can apologize with actions
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