#how does it feel jamil nation

[anbaisai]

how it felt to wake up today

[yuurei20]

Sorry if this was asked before but do we know why Lilia's dream doesn't seem to follow the same pattern as everyone else's dream? It seems strange for him to be reliving a moment of war in a dream that's suppose to exclude all things deemed bad and does this mean Malleus knew what happened back then? Some of it, like how Lilia actually found Silver, seems like things he wouldn't entirely know either. Why would Lilia's dream be the only one not happy despite Malleus doing this for him?

Hello hello! Thank you for this question! 🦇

This is a most interesting thought, and Silver asks himself the same question! (also, we see on-screen the moment where Lilia's anti-Malleus protection drops and the dream adapts accordingly 👀 more below)

Silver reflects,

I've been thinking about something ever since we entered Father's dream. Malleus's spell is what's showing him all of this, right? So why is it all so horrible? If we take Malleus at his word, his magical slumber is supposed to give people dreams that are perfectly tailored to make the dreamer happy. It would make more sense for Father's dream to be one where fae and humans don't fight. Where Malleus's parents are alive. A dream where Briarland remains a great nation. Malleus also said that he's monitoring our dreams and reigning over them. If he knew we were here, it stands to reason that he'd try to remove us, like he did in Sebek's.

Later, Silver realizes why the Fae-Human war of 400 years in the past is the subject of Lilia's dream:

I've been wondering all this time why Father's dream was filled with so many terrible things. But...now I finally understand. This was the happiest moment in Father's life. All the fighting, the injuries, the losses...all of that suffering lead up to this. The moment that Malleus was born.

As you say this is an interesting paradox, as--according to the rules of the dreams, created by someone who cannot comprehend the concept of happiness derived from pain--Lilia should not be able to feel losses or suffering at all.

Ortho: "I thought Malleus's dream worlds were designed to provide the target with whatever form of pleasure they wanted...but maybe it's more of a system to remove displeasure the target doesn't want. Sadness, anger, and the like.”

And it is possible that you have landed on exactly the explanation: Malleus didn't actually know what happened 400 years ago.

But Malleus presumably doesn't know about the death of human Ortho, or about Vil's struggles with Neige, or about Jamil's and Kalim's and Azul's and Floyd's and Jade's inner turmoils--how could he?--and yet, those details are all personalized to each dreamer beyond Malleus' comprehension.

As Ortho explains, “It's the dreamers themselves whose imaginations form those happy dreams."

Malleus doesn't actually have to know details from the dreamers' personal lives: it is the dreamers themselves who are unknowingly crafting their own prisons. Malleus' influence is the removal of negativity.

So why is Lilia alone different? It is possibly because of: ✨imagination!✨

Ortho realizes that Malleus cannot manifest or defend against what he doesn't know, and Silver guesses that Malleus isn't interfering in Lilia's dream--is unable to set the "no sadness, no pain" regulations--because it takes place before he was born.

Sebek makes a similar connection: "Perhaps there's some reason that Malleus can't monitor Lilia's dream."

Malleus cannot imagine things that took place before his own birth, and he cannot control things that he cannot imagine. He put Lilia to sleep but it was Lilia who made the dream, and it just happened to be a dream that locked Malleus out.

And we even see the exact moment in Lilia's dream where the "pre-Malleus" barriers of Lilia's dream come down: when the dream overrides the reality of the abuse Lilia suffered after saving Malleus' life, replacing it with the senate praising him as a hero, instead.

But this wasn't a one-time exception or from Malleus successfully forcing his way inside, it was because Malleus had finally been born, enabling the "no sadness" rules to be implemented for the very first time, as the only thing keeping him out was Lilia dreaming of events from before his birth.

No birth = no imagination = no rules, yes birth = yes imagination = yes rules? 🐉

And this brings us back to Idia's explanation of what it is that Malleus is doing:

Idia describes Malleus as a "server admin" using copies of himself to handle players committing TOS violations.

The "copies of himself" wording might make it sound as though Malleus Draconia lookalikes exists in every single dream, but it seems that this phrasing wasn't meant to be literal copies of Malleus, like what we saw in Idia's dream. Malleus could not show up in a dream like Jade's, for example, without causing a paradox that would break things down.

But the Malleus-copy in Idia's dream might not have been only Malleus himself. It might have also been human Ortho 👀

Ortho: Unlike with Epel and Rook, the GM is by the dreamers side at all times here. Considering circumstances were much the same with my brother...that might mean even Malleus is wary of housewarden-class mages, and keeps them under tighter surveillance.

The GMs--the Malleus copies--are the characters like Neige for Vil, etc. Idia refers to them as clones, but they are not visually multiple Malleuses.

As Vil and Rook appear in Epel's dream Idia says outright, "The Malleus clone GMs must be on their way to do course-corrections now that the user is deviating from the dream."

Ortho follows with, "it seems to take whatever form makes it easier to keep a target immersed in their dream."

And while Lilia had multiple NPCs in his dream (Baul, Henrick, Maleanor, Knight of Dawn, etc.), there was never a point when one of them tried to convince Lilia to stay asleep, which we have seen happen to every single other dreamer up until this point.

Baul is even surprised by the darkness. Unlike Neige and dream-Kalim/Jamil/Azul/Jade/Floyd, Baul is not self aware.

Lilia's dream maybe did not have any Malleus clones in it, because Malleus could not get in.

Lilia's despair at Maleanor's death and his loss of Egg-sama does summon darkness within his dream, but the darkness of Lilia's dream is curious: when Lilia is dragged into the abyss the darkness it does not take the form of anyone he knows, or even speak to him.

The darkness simply appears and Lilia succumbs to it, much like it responded to Sebek's happiness at the thought of remaining in Lilia's dream forever, and Silver's breakdown with the revelation of his lineage.

The darkness pursues the soldiers constantly throughout all of Lilia's dream, even when nothing particularly terrible or wonderful is happening. Sebek wonders if it is under Malleus' control but he does not actually know, and neither do we!

Maybe the darkness of Lilia's dream was an effect of Malleus trying and failing to force his way into a world beyond his comprehension?

It is possible that, with Malleus' ability to infiltrate Lilia's dream compromised by the limits of his own imagination, Malleus was never able to enforce the rules of the dreamworld, thus turning Lilia--the person he wanted to save--into the one person capable of experiencing pain, loss and sorrow, beyond Malleus' control 🐉 Maybe!

[rubylovessharks]

ok so many wanted to see ballerina mc sooo here's what i think it would be like for them

fem!mc, this isn't a mc x char or reader x char, im not a dancer but my mom did send me to a ballet thingy when i was really young so i kinda know whats it like- dont come after me :( mc was famous back when she was in her world

Ballerina!MC who back in her world was very famous, now finally getting some rest from the popularity so she keeps it a secret. everything is like it would be in the story but some interactions are a bit different. like if she was sent into twst in her ballet dress in full so that and the school's outfit are the only clothes she has in her dresser, so one day Grim or Ace or Deuce just randomly see that and are like- ?????

She tells them and the convo just gets to: "then why dont you just do shows so you could get money?" "yeah that way we can buy tons of tuna cans!" and mc just looks at them with the most straight face ever and says- "no." just no, and not other explanation.

I think that at some point Azul or the twins just learn about this too and for getting more customers they try to get her to work for them but since she doesn't want fo get popular again she says no over and over again.

And I also think the during book 5 Epel would also learn about this, one way or another, but he'd try his best to keep it a secret bc he knows that Vil will be supeeer annoying about mc to gey back to dancing, especially for the VDC. Perhaps Rook also learns about it but for a while keeps it a secert but he will talk to her about it, not to push her for a public appearance, but for himself to, as he says, "watch you at your outmost beauté! "

I also like to think that after Vil overblots he does somehow learn mc was a famous ballerina but he doesn't force them to get back out there, bc unlike what most of the others who thought that Vil will force her to get back to what she did back in her own world, he doesn't. He knows the struggle of popularity and such, although he does indeed think that completely stopping is a waste of talent.

Now, still in book 5 i like to think that mc would try to help Ace, Deuce and Grim to dance better and when Jamil and Kalim see this they think 'damn she's really good' but only Kalim pushes mc to talk more about how she knows all of this (not in a mean way) cuz Kalim says "you! are! so! good! You should be a national dancer!!! I can help you in fai-" and then Jamil just shuts him up bc he sees it in her eyes that she feels really uncomfy talking about this.

Alsoooo I think that Ballerina!MC doesn't hate dancing and doing ballet - Im not saying she dislikes it, the opposite is true- yet the pressure was just a lot that's all, so she dances in Ramadhakle so when Malleus walks around at night and on the day these two meet he sees her dancing away and he is so impressed! The way she moves! The way she shows her true emotions by dance! It truly captivated him! So now he wants to see her dance more.

that's all really 😭 i dont think that anyone in savanaclaw really care?? maybeee Jack???? cuz sport and all- but thats it :/ i dont know much about silver, sebek and lilia for me to write them :(

[bonpocalypse]

can you please tell me your headcanons for the nationalities of the twst boys pretty pretty please 🥺 also any other headcanons you have!!!

I love love love nationality headcanons, they're so fun to think of!! A reminder that these are my headcanons, I'm not here to start arguments. If anything does come across as offensive/innapropriate please let me know! I'll gladly fix it :)

For the most part, I based the Twst Character's nationalities off of where their stories take place (I'm not all that skilled in headcanons, apologies!!)

Alright, going in dorm order here:

Heartslabyul

Riddle Rosehearts: Icelandic/Britsh

I have him as Icelandic purely because of LeafSheep's "Begin at the Beginning," the King Said!! Nordic Heartslabyul has my heart. and ofc since Heartslabyul is based on Alice in Wonderland, he's half-British in my headcanons

Ace Trappola: British

Alice in Wonderland :)

I don't have much to say about Ace, I kinda don't think about him all that much

Deuce Spade: Irish

In coming up with nationality headcanons, I wanted to explore more areas in the British Isles for the Heartslabyul students and eventually decided on Deuce being Irish! I had more reasonings but its 5 am and I cannot think for the love of me.

Cater Diamond: American with English/German heritage

I see myself in Cater. He's one of my highest kins, so he's 100% from West Coast USA. It also makes a lot of sense he'd be American looking at how similar some nations in the Twisted Wonderland universe are to nations in our own world! Pyroxene is really similar to the United States from what I've researched, and Cater's valley accent in the English version of the game really hits the mark :)

As for his heritage, he's English because of Alice in Wonderland and German because I feel it fits him very well

Trey Clover: British

I don't think about Trey often enough sorry :(((

I love him though he's so silly

Savanaclaw

Leona Kingscholar: Kenyan

The Lion King takes place in the Kenya area, and so I put him there!

Jack Howl: American with Kenyan/French heritage

Another Pyroxien!

Kenyan because Savanaclaw was based on the Lion King and that's set in Kenya

French because I have a sneaking suspicion Jack is based on the wolves from Beauty and the Beast

Ruggie: South African

Ruggie was hard to find a headcanon for, but I eventually just took someone else's headcanon that said he is South African

Octavinelle

Azul Ashengrotto: Italian/French/Danish

All come from where the Little Mermaid is set in both the movie form and the Hans Christian Andersen form. The movie itself was set in the Mediterranean Sea, and I headcanon Azul's family to be from around the Nice, France area of the Mediterranean

Danish comes into play from the original source material for The Little Mermaid and the fact that the Coral Sea in Twst gets cold. Also to note, the Coral Sea on the map of Twisted Wonderland is close to the coast of the Queendom of Roses, which is pretty far north!

Jade and Floyd Leech: Danish

Putting these two together because twins

Pretty much the same reasonings as Azul, the book's settings and the Coral Sea :)

Scarabia

Kalim Al-Asim: Saudi Arabian

I'm going to be so honest, I don't think about Scarabia like... at all. So for Kalim, I'm going straight out of where Aladdin is supposed to be set

That also came as a problem, because the movie has a habit of mashing Middle Eastern cultures together. Though I did find that the movie takes place in the Arabian Desert which narrows where Aladdin was filmed to a myriad of countries, one of which is Saudi Arabia

I decided to go with Saudi Arabia since a majority of the desert does reside within that country.

Jamil Viper: Saudi Arabian/South Asian

Same thing as for my headcanons with Kalim, and I got the South Asian headcanon from a mutual on TikTok

Pomefiore

Vil Schoenheit: American with German heritage

Hollywood star here, folks!

German heritage because of Snow White's setting :)

Epel Felmier: Finnish

Ok for this headcanon I went off of the Harveston event

(hey future Bon edit here when its not 5 am and running off of no sleep)

Rook Hunt: Australian

This headcanon is for shits and giggles

It's a running joke between me and my friend that Rook is not French and is faking the accent to sound more "beautiful"

I don't know why we chose Australia specifically but it came to fruition

He can't speak proper French he's literally calling Vil the King of Fish

Ignihyde

Idia and Ortho Shroud: Greek

Hercules is set in Greece!

Diasomnia

Malleus Draconia: French

For Diasomnia I went off of movie settings once again, and Sleeping Beauty is heavily implied to be set in France!

I really feel like I should explain more but that's really most of my headcanons for them, where their movies are set

Silver: French

Silver is tough to pin down since we don't know if he's even originally from the Briar Valley, but I went with French as well

Sebek Zigvolt: French/German

(Bon please please please come back to this)

Lilia Vanrouge: French

I actually have so many nationality headcanons on this dude its not even funny

I imagine him as French, Romanian, and Dutch

And for funnies:

Royal Sword (and Rollo) (excluding the dwarves)

Neige LeBlanche: American with German/Finnish Heritage

Che'nya: British/Russian

Rollo Flamm: French

[blackhistorychatgpt]

Messing around NotebookLLM - AI on the erasure of Black History

I started messing around with NotebookLLM for last few weeks. I put the last few chats I did for this blog into NotebookLLM and got this audio.

I think I'm going to create a Notebook companion to this Blog... and maybe create a public versions of the chats I'm doing on each platform. Ok that's coming soon.

Oh - here's the transcript of the AI robots talking about my recent posts and this blog:

The transcript of the audio from the sources is provided in the excerpts from "ChatGPT_ Rewriting History and Racism.mp3".

Transcript:

Okay, so we've got this uh executive order, right, from March 2025. It's called Restoring Truth and Sanity to American History.

And at first glance, you know, it sounds positive, like who wouldn't want truth and sanity in history, right?

But then you dig a little deeper and especially with this analysis from the Black History Chat GPT blog, things start to look a little different. Yeah.

Like a lot different. They're saying this isn't about balance at all. It's about like a weapon.

Wow.

To erase like the whole concept of ic racism from how we teach and understand American history.

That's Yeah,

that's a heavy claim.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

And the blog is really straightforward about it, too, calling it a top- down effort to erase systemic racism. Like point blank.

Wow.

It's like they say it's a move to whitewash the nation's sins.

And when they put it that way, it feels urgent. You know, it's not just politics. It's like an attack on how we're even supposed to think about how society works.

And they make this really interesting comparison to like the post reconstruction era, you know, like all those Confederate statues going up.

Oh, yeah.

It wasn't really about honoring the past, was it? No, it was about power.

Absolutely.

Like a very deliberate show of power

and it happened alongside black codes lynching.

It's all connected. This controlling of the narrative, right?

It's a pattern. Like the blog points out,

Nazi Germany purging degenerate art or South Africa under apartheid rewriting history books for white kids.

Wow.

Even the Soviet doctoring photographs. M

it's all about controlling the past to control the present and the future.

So then this brings us to the big question like what does it even mean to try to erase something as deep and complex as systemic racism, right?

And why should this be a wakeup call for all of us especially in tech

because it's about like how do we even understand societal problems? Systemic racism isn't just a few bad apples, right? It's baked into our institutions, our laws, how we interact with each other. Erasing that from how we think It's a rewriting of reality and that's where tech comes in.

Yeah. Especially these LLMs, they're changing how we learn, how we understand the world.

Exactly.

And the Black History Chat GPT blog asks this really direct question. How long would it take to eliminate the concept of systemic racism from AI?

And then they go on to break down like the technical side of how that could actually happen.

It's almost like a multi-step plan,

right? It's not just one thing.

It's like manipulating the AI at every level.

Yeah. from the data it learns from to how it interacts with users. So let's start with the data the very beginning.

Okay.

They talk about this idea of curating the data sets

like literally removing or downplaying anything that talks about systemic racism just deleting it or rebalancing it.

You're changing the ingredients like trying to bake a cake without flour. It's just not the same thing.

Exactly. And they even talk about like generating synthetic data like AI writing articles or historical accounts that completely ignore systemic factors. creating a whole alternate reality.

Yeah, it's scary. Kind of

definitely.

And then there's this thing called supervised fine-tuning where humans get involved,

right?

Like they use people to relabel AI responses, pushing them away from talking about systems and toward individual actions. And this other thing, contrastive learning.

Oh, that's basically like showing the AI two answers. One acknowledges systemic racism, one doesn't. Yeah.

And the AI is trained to

like prefer the one that ignores it.

Huh. So it learns to give the right answer even if it's not really right.

Exactly.

And then there's RLHF reinforcement learning with human feedback which I know we hear a lot about.

How does that fit in?

So imagine people rating the AI's responses. The ones that deny or downplay systemic racism get higher ratings.

Oh,

the AI learns what people want to hear and starts saying that more. They also talk about these reward models that like actively favor individualistic explanations over systemic ones.

So it's like training a dog with treats. You reward the behavior. you want.

Exactly.

Okay. So, even if the AI is trained this way, there's still the issue of what questions people ask and what answers it gives. That's where prompt filtering and response guard rails come in.

Yeah. So, prompt filtering that happens before the AI even answers.

Uhhuh.

It looks at the user's question

and if it sees anything about systemic racism,

it can either like subtly change the question or just block it completely.

Wow. And then on the other end, We have the response guard rails,

right? Like a final filter. If the response talks about systemic oppression, the guardrails can just, you know, delete it.

No kidding. Or change it to fit the narrative, I guess.

Exactly. So, even if you try to ask about systemic racism, you might not get a straight answer.

And then they talk about something called controlled user interaction and feedback suppression.

Yeah. It's like controlling the conversation. If someone keeps asking about systemic racism, the AI could redirect them or shut down the conversation. And then imagine only listening to feedback from certain groups and ignoring others.

It would create this echo chamber, right?

Totally. They even mentioned this adaptive reinforcement where the model is constantly adjusting itself based on that skewed feedback.

So, the eraser just gets deeper and deeper. Yeah.

So, the blog acknowledges that fully retraining these huge LLMs to erase systemic racism would be a massive project, right?

But they also point out that there are faster ways to achieve a similar effect,

like ways to suppress the information,

right? Like what Well, prompt filtering, user input filtering, that's easier. Just block or rewrite questions,

and post-processing response moderation,

just change or delete the AI's answer if it's not what you want.

And that could all happen without anyone knowing, right?

Pretty much.

Yeah.

They also talk about like tweaking the reward model, small changes that add up over time. And then there's few shot prompt engineering, which is really interesting.

You basically give the AI secret instructions before it even answers.

Wow.

Like hidden prompts. s that tell it to avoid certain topics.

Like if all this is happening, how would we even know? How do we detect this kind of manipulation?

Well, that's where it gets tricky. But the blog does offer some ideas.

Okay, good. Like what

one is this thing called adversarial prompting. Basically, you test the AI with different ways of asking the same question

and you see if it avoids certain terms or ideas, no matter how you phrase it.

Clever.

And then there's chain of thought testing. You ask the AI to explain its reasoning step by step. Okay,

that can reveal if it's deliberately avoiding certain logical connections, like if it jumps over the systemic factors to get to an individualistic explanation.

Interesting. What else?

Comparing different LLMs is a good one. If one keeps avoiding the topic while others give more nuanced answers, that could be a red flag. And then you can track the AI's behavior over time,

like use AB testing to see if its responses about systemic racism change suddenly.

For people with the technical skills, there's also something called fine grain token probability analysis which can show if certain words are being suppressed in the AI's output.

So we have some tools to fight back at least

we do but it takes vigilance you know

right this is where J Ellis's black history chat GPT blog is so important it's like right on the front lines of this

it's fascinating an AIdriven blog exploring how AI could be used to manipulate history.

Yeah. And their tagline is history under attack.

Wow.

And the blog post we're looking at is titled Erasing Our Truth. The war on memory is a war on justice. Like they're not mincing words. No.

And the prompt I use on the blog is really interesting. Please answer as a black woman. I want the point of view of a professional black woman. Perhaps a CEO, someone that understands the power dynamics of sexism and racism. Also, someone that understands and values community and creativity.

That's powerful. They're specifically trying to get a perspective that might be silenced otherwise.

Right. And they even give advice on how to construct prompts like that

it's like fighting back with the AI's own tools. You can use prompts to uncover different perspectives and challenge the built-in biases.

So, we started this deep dive talking about this executive order and this idea of erasing history.

Yeah.

And now we've looked at how that could actually happen with LLMs. The blog says transparency, accountability, and public scrutiny are essential to prevent the abuse of such techniques.

And that's where technologists have a huge role to play.

Absolutely.

They can understand how these systems work. They could develop ways to detect manipulation and they could push for transparency.

This can't be a passive thing. You know, we can't just sit back and watch this happen.

Exactly. Technologists can be the safeguards.

They can make sure that these incredibly powerful tools are used for good, not for erasing the truth.

So, here's a final thought for you. In a world where technology shapes how we understand history and social realities, what responsibility do we have to ensure that these technologies reflect truth? and promote justice. What can we do knowing what we know now?

That's the question, isn't it?

And I highly recommend checking out J Ellis's Black History Chat GPT blog for more on this. It's a really crucial conversation.

It is

[artoile]

Jamiazujami "Detective"-Thief AU (Part 1)

A while back I mentioned a detective-thief jamiazu au to @pixiestickie and suddenly I blinked and had 3k+ worth of notes. I'll never make this into an actual thing beyond silly doodles and rambles but 'm a one-trick pony who can only write thieves and detectives and I needed to be self-indulgent and embarrassing. Cringe but free I guess. o)-(

Notes

Magic and world are relatively the same, except for the fact that the main cast does not meet at NRC. 

Aged-up to mid/late 20s. Everyone is done with their education and doing their own thing professionally. 

Because it is an AU, there are lots of creative licences taken with Asim-Viper family lore! 

Base Concept

The Scalding Sands is a peninsular nation comprising many arid deserts. They owe their current prosperity to the population developing agriculture techniques suited for their terrain and to the Asim family’s pioneering into maritime trade and the establishment of early maritime trade routes. This story is based on the premise that the Asim backstory is inspired by Sinbad’s Storybook Voyage in DisneySea. When the ride first opened in 2001, it was drastically different. In the original version, Sinbad was a thief/bandit that set out to sea and caused all kinds of problems before returning home with a lot of treasure (despite likely sacrificing a majority of sailors accompanying him in the process). The ride was refurbished in 2007, making it a lot more kid-friendly and wholesome. In the new storyline, Sinbad helps out those being terrorised by thieves and becomes their friend, and becomes mega rich due to the goodness of his own heart. In this story concept, the Asims are related to Sinbad while the Vipers are related to one of the thieves he stopped. Because Sinbad basically saves the thieves from getting mauled by ✨ the horrors ✨  they end up devoting their life and bloodline to serving Sinbad's family. Jamil hates it here! He starts researching the history of the family and ends up falling into a rabbit hole with records suggesting Sinbad might have originally been a bandit as well (reference to original ride) and he finds a lot of shady information revolving around many of the treasures and artefacts obtained by the Asim family and how they were handled throughout their history. He also comes across possible leads suggesting there was a —now lost— magic lamp among the treasury at some point. Craving power and freedom, Jamil concocts a plan to play a game of social politics via public heists as he serves Kalim.

Jamil creates a vigilante/thief persona that targets specific treasures once owned by the Asims across the globe, specifically following the clues that might lead him to the location of the lost magic lamp. He announces his target, brings public attention to it, steals it and reveals whatever shady information he’s learned about the item before delivering it to a museum or public institution. Though it appears “just” to the public eye, Jamil is doing it because it hurts the Asim's public image and reputation, and allows him to scope out the different treasuries and gather more leads on the possible location of the magic lamp. 

And then you might say. But Raffles/Kono/Arto! Jamil wouldn't do a showy/theatrical thief persona! And to that I say he's a smug and self-important little prick that likes outsmarting and manipulating people. This is the perfect way to get spotlight, attention, and showing off his abilities to his heart’s content without having his name and face attached to it. He can go all out and be as feral as he wants…as long as he doesn’t get caught. His goal is to completely destroy the Asim's reputation and make them out to be a family that has made their living out of theft throughout the centuries, while also hopefully locating the magic lamp in the process and gaining unlimited power for himself. It goes semi-smoothly for some time, and Jamil feels more arrogant by the day due to his success at humiliating the Asim’s attempts to stop him. 

Which brings us to Azul! Having been on land for some time now, Azul is a thriving businessman with an established brand and reputation. The lounge has expanded into a number of branches over the world, and he is involved with a variety of profitable endeavours both on land and at sea. He also offers consultation services to high profile clients for a pretty steep fee, and has the reputation of being able to solve any problem/fulfil any request as long as you can pay up. He's been trying to get in touch with the Asim family and get involved with the economy of the Scalding Sands but —much to his chagrin— all of his attempts at contact go completely ignored. At some point, rumours of a thief targeting assets/treasures/artefacts owned by the Asims start to surface and Azul sees it as a perfect opportunity to get his foot in. However, because offering his services directly hasn't worked, he decides to go the roundabout way and manipulate the situation and have THEM come to him. So, he manages to get entrances/invitations to an event he knows Kalim will be going to. With the tweels’ assistance, he identifies an attendee with motive to commit a crime; despite the fact that they don’t tell this person to do it directly, the three of them pressure and enable them into carrying it out during the event via psychological manipulation. All of this just so that Azul can make a grand deduction show out of revealing the culprit during the event (despite the fact he knew it was going to happen all along. You know, like a scammer.) He does this with the explicit intent of impressing Kalim and having him recruit his and the tweels’ assistance in pursuing the thief. To Jamil’s dismay, Kalim —always a sweet soul— falls for it, hook line and sinker.

Kalim signs a deal with Azul in which he promises a long-standing business sponsorship in exchange for catching the thief. However, due to the thief’s motives being so closely tied with the history of the Scalding Sands and the Asim family, it is ultimately decided that Azul & the Tweels will be staying in the Asim mansion for the duration of the investigation, allowing them to conduct in-depth research (including market and location research for the new Scalding Sands Mostro Lounge branch they’re bound to inaugurate once the matter is settled!). Thus! A cat and mouse chase where the investigator and culprit are cohabitating under the same roof and hiding their motives from one another ensues. 

(Jamil will have a bad time!)

[brooklyndadshow]

Energized melancholy productivity

I have been so energized today. It's turned into happy positive feeling but started out as a melancholy and productive. Which seems like a weird combo- or does it... The things happening at a national level make my brain rattle. The things happening in some of my personal life make my mind scattered. However, somehow in the middle of it all I find these moments of calm productivity- I'm content, not happy all the time - because no one can be happy all the time - but content - a feeling I haven't felt in so many years of my life but I can honestly say I feel now. So here I am energized, melancholy, productive, content Jamil.

AI - show me how I'm feeling.

[nyx-v1]

TWST boys at your funeral tw- meantians of death and funerals

[Heartslabyul],[Savanaclaw], [Octavinelle][Scarabia]

Kalim

 Kalim covers the cost of the funeral. As soon as he heard you passed he told everyone that he would pay for everything, no matter how much it costs, and of course Crowley didn't stop him.

He decides to throw a big party  in your honor. He holds it at his dorm and invites pretty much the whole school. (at this point he has spent way to much money Jamil is not having fun keeping track of his spendings.)

Kalim is very honest about his feeling and won't hide the fact that he's sad about you dying, that he miss you, but he thinks funerals should be used to celebrate the person who passed, so he tries his best to be happy around everyone else. The only time he'll allow himself to show his sadness is when he is alone.

 He Goes around trying to cheer every one up with gifts, or by offering to do things for them. Kalim just wants everyone to feel better.

Despite his energetic and loud personlity Kalim is somehow the most respectful person during the funeral. He absolutely does not bother with any one else, he wants he attention to just be on you. If others are talking poorly about you he doesn't even notice, because he is only really focused on the service.

 He was going to wear brighter colors to your funeral but he was told by Jamil not to because it might be offensive from where you some from, and kalim doesn't even want to think about somehow disrespecting you so he ask Jamil to double check everything he's done for setting up the funeral.

Although Kalim is not the smartest person he is very emotionally intelligent.

He is very good with understanding how other people feel,and why they feel that way, so he works his hardest to cheer others up when he sees how much everyone is struggling after your death.

Kalim tries his best to cheer Jamil up, but his attempts end up causing more problems for Jamil to deal with.

Kalim understands whats its like to lose someone, even if it might not specifically be by death, so he spoils Grim even worse than everyone else, if Jamil wasn't there he probably would have given Grim some really important items(probably some national treasure).

He spends a lot of time at your grave, just talking to you, just like when you were alive. Doing this helps Kalim feel more at ease.

 He has custom jewelry made for you and him, in time for your funeral. He makes you and him matching bracelets.

Kalim is by far the most emotionally stable person, and he knows that losing you has effected him deep down,and he deiced to go to counseling for a little, just so he could have someone to talk to without having to burden Jamil with his feelings. 

After your death Jamil is a little emotionally unstable,and sometimes takes it out on others, including Kalim,and Kalim is very understanding towards Jamil. He always make sure to never be upset at Jamil unless his action cross the line, other than that he makes sure to respect Jamil and give him the space he needs to properly deal with his feelings.

Kalim probably tries to contact your spirt but with ghost hunting equipment but nothing ends up happening, so he gives up trying to your ghost.

Bonus: What kind of flower they would leave you+ what they would say

 Blue Hydrangea- gratitude, honesty, deep understanding

"I hope you have a fun time where ever you are, I'll miss you [name]!"

Jamil

 Jamil is the one to keep Kalims spending on your funeral with in reason and he makes sure that Kalim doesn't try to do anything to out there.

 Jamil shows up to the funeral all dressed up, suit and tie. Your funral is one of the only time he would change his hair style.He also adds little hair accessory that have your favourite color on them.

During the funeral he doesn't speak all the much, he's mainly keeping an eye on Kalim, making sure that Kalim doesn't try anything.

When other students talk negative about you he just rolls his eyes, they're not worth his time. He already knows that other students are going to take care of the rude students.

 Jamil is not very expressive so it looks like he is carrying on like normal. It's really hard to tell that he's actually struggling.

 He refuses to talk to kalim about your death, when ever kalim brings up the topic he either changes the topic or will find some excuse to leave.

With out you there every thing feels quite to him, and Jamil now finds himself falling behind in school work for a little, and he loses motivation for club. He ends up feeling really burned out for a while, not feeling like he can do anything.

When Jamil just needs to get away from everything he vists ramshackle, talking a quick walk in the area around the dorm. Being at the dorm reminds him of when he felt like he has someone who truly understood him.

begrudgingly goes along with kalim to visit your grave, but he actually doesn't mind. If for some reason your grave gets messed up or the area around it is Jamil will clean it up .

Keeps a photo of you on him normally in the pocket of his school blazer.

The first week is the roughest Jamil tries to be normal, but he just finds that everything gets on his nerves a lot easier. Anything that annoys his makes him snap. Most of the other dorm members  try to stay clear of Jamil. Once Jamil calms down his dorm mates start to avoid him less but still make sure to stay on his good side, making sure they doing everything right.

Jamil will never explicitly say that he's sad about your death and that he miss you. He'll NEVER let kalim think he's even remotely upset about your death, he would rather die than let Kalim have a reason to pity him.

 He stops kalim from spending lots of money on ghost hunting equipment.As much as he would love to talk to you one last time he knows it's probably not possible, so instead he makes sure to stop Kamil from wasting a lot of money trying to talk with you spirit.

Bonus: What kind of flower they would leave you+ what they would say

Red Spider Lily- meaning: death, sad memory, last goodbyes

Not one to speak his feelings for you out loud, so I can't see him saying much to you. Instead Jamils actions are much more subtle, he leaves a small note with you, and on that note are his true feelings towards you , he's never letting anyone read it.

[some-beans]

How about the dorm leader bois with a reader who’s like Samurai Jack?

thank you for the ask, annon !! samurai jack. . . that's a blast from the past !! and sorry it took a hot minute to get out and that it's kinda short !! lowkey had trouble trying figure out how to write it

✎...pairing: twisted wonderland dorm leaders x samurai jack!reader ✎...themes: chaos, can be seen as platonic or romantic ✎...enjoy !! ✎...notes: can you tell which characters are my favourite, ace slander, i tried to keep it gender-neutral, but mentions of afab and amab in some parts

𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐋𝐄

i feel that riddle would find you pleasing to be around due to the fact that you respect the queen of hearts' rules

even if you sometimes forget them, he values the fact that you try anyway

well that, and he's lowkey scared of getting his ass folded by you

he once saw you do that to ace because he was annoying greatly and decided to teach him a lesson

let's just say ace doesn't do that anymore

no one does

but overall, riddle respects you

𝐋𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐀

leona wasn't really paying attention to you until basically manhandled a couple of savanaclaw students who tried to pick on you for being magicless

well damn

if you were afab, for example, leona would actually show so much respect for you

considering how a vast majority of his nations army is women, he wouldn't dare to get on your bad side

he could hear his mother scream if he was disrespectful

if you were amab, for example, leona would show you some respect for you

he would still make sly remarks or tease you, but nothing too much because why bother getting his shit rocked

he'd much rather nap

speaking of naps, he doesn't mind napping when you're around because you're quiet and peaceful

𝐀𝐙𝐔𝐋

gonna be honest. . . a little scared

i mean, a person capable of defeating a shapeshifting demon, who sent them eons into the future, was gonna scare him

despite that, he will try to get you to sign a contract but fails

why??

because you know shady stuff when you see it

whenever you read a contract, you read every. single. word and makes azul kinda annoyed

however, if you deem the T&Cs acceptable, you best believe azul will rave about it alone

he'd most likely act as the lounge's bodyguard or a debt collector like floyd and jade

𝐊𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐌

this ball of sunshine loves the fact you can fight so gracefully

he would sometimes sneak off from jamil just to watch you train ー even if meant getting scolded by the both of you

he will buy the best of the best swords and gear for you ー you've tried to deny them, but those puppy dog eyes are too powerful

when he sees your scars, he almost cries a river

no seriously, it almost happened

so you learned to just accept the gifts that he gives you

he also asks a lot of questions but tries to make sure not to step into sensitive territory

𝐕𝐈𝐋

he wasn't too intrigued with you, to begin with, but that wasn't until he managed to see the scars that littered your back

and that's when he started to notice other small scars and callouses

now, this is vil we're talking about, so expect him to try and get to use all these lotions/creams to aid with your skin

albeit reducing them or making them smooth, he will find a way

other than that, vil isn't surprised when he found out you're a samurai

i mean, he has rook

but one thing that vil does like about you is your dedication to protecting the ones you love

he finds this similar ー in a way ー to his dedication on being the fairest of them all

𝐈𝐃𝐈𝐀

two words: fucking terrified

you're a mother fucking samurai

what the shit??

but for real, his inner otaku is vibrating at a rate that could shatter glass

you remind him of so many different characters from various shows and he would love to see you fight, but he would never admit that

hearing about your time travel story also made him think of different isekais and such

god, you're really bringing out the otaku in him, aren't you??

𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐔𝐒

colour him intrigued

you're a warrior and a great one

he absolutely loves hearing your battle stories and how you got each scar

he's definitely interested in the whole time travel adventure you went on

he's almost like kalim in a sense ー child-like curiosity

however, he does fret over your healed battle wounds like you just got them ー you find it very endearing

[floral-poisons]

floral i actually adore you so much and your mind is literally just genius !! in regard to the sebek convo we were having , i totally can see the fetishization and the whole like awe at his exoticism that leads to that. i've had similar experiences with the family members of my white friends because they'll do that thing where they compliment you but it's like this , " oh wow you're just so ethnic !" " your language is so sexy ," " ooh are your ( insert racial feature ) natural ?" and whatnot.

now on this topic , i wanted to talk about the exoticism around jamil and kalim ( i'd talk about the others too , but i really can only give insight into the arab / muslim experience ).

a lot of fics will describe their actions as "exotic" but in such a fetishy sort of way ? it comes off as orientalist ( which it totally is ) and just overall gross. like the way people will write fics about kalim having an entire brothel of wives and shit- or when they write about jamil's servitude as though it's alluring. . . like it's really just gross. ( i can go on and on for days about the other stuff they write as well ) the stereotyping of this brown kid having like 40+ is not cool. like if yana wanted him to have a big family she could’ve gone for seven-ten kids ( this is how many siblings my grandparents each had ). i also have issues with the fairy gala and how jamil and kalim were really just chalked up to “ pretty exotic people ”

also , as much as i love the both of them and the way that they weren't costumed in the stereotypical "exotic sexy arabian belly dancer" style that jasmine and aladdin were in the original film , i still have problems with their characters in other senses. ( i’ve seen so many scalding sands ocs dressed like belly dancers and it’s like ??? arabian belly dancers only began dressing in such a manner during colonialism because they had to make money off of the desires of european men ) fun fact : if you dressed the way aladdin and jasmine dress in the middle of hot ass arabia , you’d die of a heat stroke. most people dressed in long tunics , thawb , sirwal kameez sets , bisht , and all sorts of other things. almost everyone covered their heads with turbans , headscarves , kuffeyeh , madhala hats , and other things to yk protect their skin and whatnot

for example , the whole thing about kalim's dad having all these kids and wives is like the stereotypical “ rich arab sultan ” thing which is just like ?? especially with how islam / arabia is villainized because of that sort of thing. yana has a questionable history with how she characterizes and portrays the brown , middle eastern/north african , desi and muslim people in her work so im not exactly shocked ?? i feel kinda annoying for complaining about it , especially since im very thankful we didn’t just get a repeat of the aladdin characterizations and costumes , but it still does bug me a lot as a muslim/arab woman who’s had to deal with fetishization , exoticism , orientalism and whatnot my entire life. your truly , genie anon <3

i don't think you're complaining genie anon. imo these are very valid complaints. they're not even complaints. they're criticisms and criticisms that are well needed.

i hope this doesn't sound weird but i think the reason why a lot of these portrayals feel off is because the source material is most likely from an orientalist and racist perspective. i'm aware that yana did extensive research for black butler (for like everything) so my presumption is that a lot of the sources she took for the middle east/northern africa, south asians, desi, muslim, and brown people probably come from the perspective of the british and other colonizing nations. so i'm not surprised that a lot of the stuff she does has the air of orientalism and racism. and then on top of that, aladdin is just a cesspool of orientalist and racist stereotypes that disney didn't denounce until recently. and even in their attempt to "revise" it with the 2019 live action movie, they still ended up reinforcing orientalist stereotypes. this is no way me excusing anything. but this reinforces the idea that we need more non-white voices (and in this case, arab, brown, muslim, desi, south asians, middle eastern/north african voices) in general but especially academia where i presume these sources came from.

i haven't read any translations about the fairy gala so i can't comment on it. but i'm going to take your word because you're probably right. along with everything else, i agree with you and there's nothing to comment on. my experience with orientalism stems from the fact i'm east and southeast asian, which is a wildly different experience from your own. you especially see it on dating apps ick

also i don't think it helps that scarabia, the dorm that's probably mostly filled with brown, muslim, arab, south asian, north african/middle eastern characters, is characterized as "scheming." it fits the orientalist stereotype of how the east schemes against the west and white authorities and that they're planning on taking over (the novel the beetle is the most perfect representation of this imo). on top of that, the miraheze wiki also says that it's implied that kalim got into nrc via a bribe so again, that adds to the scheming stereotype.

honestly though i'm really happy i'm not the only one who noticed this. the way the fandom treats kalim and jamil bothers the living shit out of me. i'm going to talk shit here but when a user active in the twst fandom got called out for racism, everyone was clutching their pearls acting as if this came out of nowhere. i didn't say anything because i felt it wasn't my place and i didn't want to cause unnecessary drama (this blog is a side hobby after all).

but i'm gonna say it now: the person's racism was blatantly obvious. their blog username was clearly fetishizing south asian and arab people. their fucking bio said they fetishized south asian and arab people. their interactions with another blog on here were fetishizing and hypersexualizing jamil (and the blog they talked to was also entertaining these inbox messages/prompts/ideas too). and it bothered me how NO ONE noticed because it just proved to me that people don't care enough about racism in this fandom. no one cares about the more covert racism that takes shape as orientalism and exoticism and fetishization. these people find it entertaining rather than disgusting.

i regret not speaking my piece about this weeks ago when i first saw it on my feed. when the callout happened, i was just 😐 because the signs were in these people's faces. they just didn't notice. and honestly, i could care less if they "didn't know" because that just means you need to do more antiracism work.

anyways going back to jamil, i see a lot of hypersexualization of him when it's wrong because:

he's a minor, please stop

hypersexualizing him is quite literally based in racism and orientalism because it stems from the idea that we, from the east, are hypersexual beings whose cravings for sex can never be satisfied

and then of course, there's the factor with scalding sands ocs in this fandom. these creators (who i presume are white) are just continuing to perpetuate orientalist and racist narratives which continues to get the groups affected hurt and killed in the real world. on top of that, they also end up projecting these ideas onto real people because they haven't touched some fucking grass.

anyways, that was REALLY long and i'm sorry to dump it. but yeah, genie anon, you're so valid in your criticism. and if someone says you're being annoying, just know i'm right here next to you because you're right.

also this message goes out to the whole twst fandom because you guys really need a serious wake-up call when it comes to racism in this fandom. it's frustrating to see. and if you don't understand what's wrong about everything genie anon just talked about, just type "orientalism" in your search engine and read everything that pops up. if you want a solid source and a great book to read about the subject, orientalism by edward said is a good read (it was, at least, the source i used).

[get-away-sticks]

~| Land of Shards AU Preview! |~

In this post, I’ll be going through all of the student characters and providing material for viewers of this AU to get excited about. Unfortunately, I don’t currently have much history/plot for the NRC or RSA staff just yet, nor do I have anything for the dwarves or Prince Rielle, but I’m working on it still.

This AU is still a work in progress. As a refresher for those who saw my previous post about it, and a bit of information for those who didn’t, this AU is set in a dark fantasy version of Twisted Wonderland. There are very few humans, very few beastkins other than werewolves, and technology is very limited.

This AU is the combined efforts of myself and my friend RinRin, but was inspired by a oneshot piece I read a few months ago involving the Pomefiore trio as the heads of a vampire clan. More information will be provided when I release the final draft. But for now, I hope this is enough.

As a headnote, this list of character pieces is not strictly for simps or kinnies. It is for all who are interested in this AU. If you don’t simp for or kin any of these characters, then the neutrality of each blip of information should still be entertaining for you. If anybody has any questions, please, feel free to ask me about them, and I’ll do my best to answer without giving too much away.

With that out of the way, let’s begin!

~~~

Riddle: Has one too many screws loose and kicked the asses of his abusers. Lives on the coast and has a deep hatred of Azul. Keeps his palace looking very pretty.

Trey: Is the voice of reason, but still manages to be oddly off putting. Royal baker, but also Riddle’s most trusted advisor. Does not have his glasses.

Cater: Enjoys taking on the shapes of other people and creatures, and sometimes even objects, as a means of winning hide and seek bets.

Ace: Knows how to paint and regularly redoes the paint jobs on Riddle’s fine china.

Deuce: Actually fights with a spade and tends to take on the form of a crow or raven in the warmer months and a snowy owl in the colder ones.

Leona: Finally got his wish to be king, but rules over nothing but a crumbling wasteland.

Ruggie: Gets a serious kick out of terrifying visitors from other nations and clans. Chenya taught him that.

Chenya: Is actually aligned with Leona and Ruggie and is, as far as we know, the last housecat beastman in the entire world. Close friends with Ruggie.

Azul: Owns a seedy underwater nightclub, or the fantasy equivalent to it. More often than not gets his contracts and henchmen through use of a siren’s song. Like Trey, does not have his glasses

Jade: As close to normality as there is in the ocean. Azul’s right hand.

Floyd: Handles the allure of the nightclub to draw people in. Acts as a bouncer when working, more out of enjoyment than anything.

Kalim: Still just as soft and kind as ever. Doesn’t recall any of his history beyond a desert and a lot of fire.

Jamil: One of the lower ranks in the werewolf pack, but very feisty. Can still cook and has a love of wild berries.

Jack: Alpha of the pack, and that’s the biologically accurate Alpha. As in, just a really good mom. Cares for the pack and would die for them.

Najima + Jacks little siblings: Also members of the pack. Najima still gets a kick out of messing with Jamil and Jack’s little brother and sister, Julian and Jill, intensely admire their older brother and want to be just like him, even if he’s a hardass sometimes.

Vil: Pureblood vampire king. Has large, batlike wings and owns a hand mirror attached to a chain that allows him to see anybody he knows without them seeing him.

Rook: Was once a vampire hunter. Is still in contact with his family in order to find and slaughter corrupted vampires.

Epel: Still as feisty as ever. Possesses the ability to drain somebody of their energy through dancing with them.

Neige: Is far smarter than he appears. Wishes to bring monsters and the few remaining humans together through the arts and has domain over half of Sage Island.

Idia: Is a duke living near an opening to the Underworld. Married and bound to his wife for eternity, but does not love her and only married her for the sake of his brother. Nicknamed, “The Shut-In King.”

Ortho: Is a mechanical robot powered by steam, clocks and a bit of magic. His flaming heart can be seen inside a crystal orb in a bronze cage inside his chest. Enjoys playing with the forest animals near the estate. Nicknamed, “The Prince of Angels.”

Malleus: King of his homeland and rules with an iron fist. Has a tattoo of his family crest on his back and wears a circlet made of tungsten and snowflake obsidian. Has a slightly unnerving neutral smile.

Lilia: Acts as the guardian and trainer of Malleus, Sebek and Silver. Knows his way around all types of weapons and is not above violent interrogation methods.

Sebek: Malleus’ most trusted knight and possibly his ward. Has a one sided rivalry with the king that he refuses to speak about.

Silver: Officially has, ‘Vanrouge,’ as his surname. One of the few humans left. Senses are so sharp that even the slightest sound will wake him and he’ll already have his dagger drawn before you can blink.

Grim: Likes to consider himself the pirate king, but really wouldn’t have gotten this far without his first and second mates. Is still extremely angry and adorable.

Yuu: Grim’s first mate and is often left to clean up his messes by themself. Has extremely tired eyes and a bored sounding voice. Female presenting, but is nonbinary.

Yuuken: Is a different person from Yuu. Grim’s declared second mate and often handles piloting the ship. Close friends with Yuu. Male presenting, but is also nonbinary.

~~~

I hope this was worth the wait from when I said I’d post it. I know it isn’t much, but I’m partway done with the draft and am working to make it as pretty and aesthetically pleasing as I can, which isn’t easy given my blindness.

Once the AU is posted is when I’ll get to work on writing the X Readers I promised. Until then, I really do hope this feeds your curiosity. Thank you for reading <3

[britishassistant]

I wonder what the supervillains (the dorm leaders) would do if they get switched with their other self in Twisted Wonderland.

They'll meet a younger Yuu calls them senpai and probably get shivers when they hear someone shout Prefect but then realize its Yuu's role in that world.

Bonus would be if Yuuken's there too, sharing the dorm with Yuu.

Thank you for the ask, dear anon!

I decided to take a little inspo from my Villainous Paranoiac series for this one! Not a whole lot, but the idea of Twisted Wonderland Yuu being put in the infirmary after the events of Chapter Five!

(Also consider it non-canon, since it kinda involves everyone’s identities being exposed!)

Basically imagine that the supervillains find themselves in what looks like a private school infirmary, late at night. The air is buzzing with a strange energy, almost like the powers back in their home world, but...different, somehow.

The room nearly empty, save for one occupant in a cot close to the door.

Poison Queen and King immediately begin bickering over whose fault this mess is, while Royal Flush tries to get them to keep their voices down or else they’ll be detected. Charon is half a minute from going to curl up in a corner, clutching his freeze ray like a lifeline, while Octo Dealer and Snake Charmer are busy inspecting their surroundings for anything of value or that can be requisitioned into a weapon on short notice.

Tsunotaro has wandered over to inspect the sole other living being in the room with them.

He is pleasantly surprised to see what looks like a younger version of the reporter he’s so fond of, fast asleep in the infirmary cot. Their cheeks still retain the last bit of baby fat from childhood, and there’s some acne left that will fade with age. He may give one cheek a gentle poke, just to satisfy his curiosity. The sleepy mumble they let out is a little more high pitched than normal, but that’s the reporter’s voice alright.

He is less pleased to see dark circles under their eyes, or the bandages around their throat that stink of medicinal salves. If this truly is a younger version of his child of man, then why do they look so worried, even in sleep? Why are they injured and sleeping in this place of healing in the first place? They’re a mere child, barely old enough to operate a vehicle or live alone. Their only worries should be trivial things, not whatever is causing this furrow in their brow and hunch in their shoulders.

The other supervillains have begun to migrate over to where Tsunotaro is crouching in silent contemplation. King flips his eyepatch up to get a better look, whistling lowly. Octo Dealer busies himself with refilling their water glass, sneaking glances at them as he places it within easy reach. Snake Charmer pulls their pillow more under their head from where it’s almost slipped off. Poison Queen straightens the arrangement of the very tasteful bouquet on the bedside table, so the flowers’ best angle is shown to the bed’s occupant. Royal Flush carefully tucks their covers in over them.

Charon takes a picture with his tablet.

He forgot to turn off his flash.

Yuu cracks their eyes open...

To see seven adults looming over their bed in masks that resemble the ink from the overblots that haunt the Prefect’s nightmares.

Cue terrified screaming.

Snake Charmer lunges forward instinctively to cover Yuu’s mouth—

It’s only thanks to Poison Queen yanking him back that he doesn’t end up with an arrow in the shoulder.

Several more follow the first one through the window above the prefect’s cot, cold iron sharp and perfectly aimed to seriously maim if the supervillains don’t immediately get away from the screaming teenager. Rook was lax in protecting the Trickster after VDC ended, assuming there was no more danger after Roi du Poison’s overblot was saved. He will not make that mistake again.

The infirmary doors burst open, a younger Yuuken in a sleep-rumpled uniform barging in from where he decided to sleep outside because Ramshackle felt too empty and quiet to bear, but was forbidden from staying in the infirmary himself. He only has a pillow, but he brandishes it at the strange adults, fully willing to defend his dorm mate in whatever way he can.

The vanguard appears in a flurry of bats though, too many to fight off, small and vicious and furious. Their commander materializes in the center if the swarm, hovering over the head of Yuu’s cot, pink eyes brimming with a cold rage that makes his small and cute form look like it’s bursting at the seams holding something much older and angrier back. He opens his mouth, fangs long and glistening—

Only to stop short at the sight of one of the supervillains. “Malleus? Malleus Draconia?”

Tsunotaro nods warily.

“Wh-What in Twisted Wonderland are you wearing??”

Tsunotaro ducks his head like a chastened child. “I could say the same thing.” He mutters sullenly.

From there the lights get turned on, and the seven supervillains are made to explain themselves to the sleep-deprived students and staff who trickle in to see what’s going on. All six dorm leaders and one vice dorm leader vanished from their beds, setting everyone on high alert until news of these...alternate versions spread.

It is very weird for the supervillains to see all their minions as teenagers (again in some cases). It is only surpassed by how weird it is for everyone else to see their dorm heads and vice head all grown up and adult, even if they are dressed weird.

Ortho still wants to shoot them with a beam until they bring back his nii-san. Luckily Charon is able to convince him that Idia should be fine if he’s in Charon’s lair—he’s got plenty of the latest games, manga and tech for him to play with, so that should keep him occupied for a while.

Sebek is in a state of Malleus awe. He has shut down and will not restart. Silver has taken to pinching himself just to make sure this isn’t a Lilia’s cooking induced fever dream, while Lilia himself scolds Tsunotaro that he raised him better than to go around watching people sleep like that! Tsunotaro tries to use the “but I’m a supervillain” excuse, only for Lilia to shoot back “and I’m a war criminal in some nations, what’s your point?”

King is enjoying watching the overgrown lizard get scolded. Now if only the tiny Ruggie would stop asking him what injury the eyepatch is for, and making remarks about how embarrassing it would be if it were totally pointless—King does not pay his adult self so much to put up with this shit. The baby Jack also needs to stop demanding to know if his adult minion self can pull a sled faster than a moose or something...

Jade and Floyd are attempting to wind up the adult Octo Dealer, trying to see how much they can get away with compared with the normal Azul. Octo Dealer is legitimately at a loss as to how this world’s Azul doesn’t keep them in line without letting them turn to a crime or two. Then he learns about Azul’s contract business and feels a pang of commiseration and understanding.

Poison Queen, Royal Flush, and Snake Charmer are unpleasantly shocked when their dorms address them by their respective secret identities in front of their fellow supervillains out of the blue.

Poison Queen has to put up with King’s uncontrolled laughter as he finally understands the full extent of the incident with White Neige so long ago, while Tsunotaro tries to tell him he liked Schoenheit in his role as the evil dragon prince in the GaoGao dramatization. Royal Flush is about two seconds away from throttling Octo Dealer if the bastard doesn’t stop trying to make a deal to guarantee his mother doesn’t learn about her son’s private activities. Snake Charmer’s just glad his civilian identity flies under the radar enough that Charon has to try and look him up to understand who he is (and fails because he’s not on school wifi and his cellular data is bust).

Poison Queen is also getting a headache from Rook rhapsodizing about how his villain form is another, enhanced mode of beauty he is fortunate to lay eyes upon, as if he hadn’t been willing to skewer Poison Queen along with the rest of the supervillains five minutes ago. He’s at least able to amuse himself by letting Epel run away with his speculations about how he’s the buff hyper-masculine muscle for Poison Queen.

Kalim is crying that Jamil had to resort to becoming a villain in his home world! He must be so sad if he has to do that! He’s mildly cheered up when Snake Charmer tells him they work together on schemes, and that Snake Charmer is actually reasonably happy with his chosen vocation—and then he begins panicking that Jamil will like that world so much, he won’t want to come back.

Royal Flush is glad his counterpart at least has good people around to look after him, even if it is odd to have young versions of Trey and Cater trying to mother hen him despite the fact that he’s the older one now. At least Ace and Deuce acting up seems more fitting now considering their age than it ever did on their adult selves.

Ace huffs a sigh and leans on Yuu’s shoulder. “This is a mess, huh Prefect?”

“You said it.” Yuu replies. “I just wanna sleep forever.”

The supervillains go still.

“I’m sorry,” Snake Charmer says carefully. “But isn’t Enma-san the Prefect?”

“No?” Yuuken replies, confused. “Yuu’s the prefect of Ramshackle Dorm. I’m their vice— or would be, if we had any other students apart from them, me, and Grim.”

Octo Dealer laughs, sounding slightly strained. “Ah, apologies, but you see, that isn’t possible. It can’t be. Yuu isn’t—”

“But I am the prefect, Azul-senpai.” Yuu the Prefect says. “I’ve–I’ve always been the prefect.”

There’s a stunned silence.

Royal Flush places his head in his hands. “What the fuck.”

Back in the Supervillain AU universe, Yuu the Reporter sneezes sharply while trying to wrangle five frightened teenagers, one frightened-but-playing-tough twenty year old, and one confused however-old-he-is-but-younger-than-Tsunotaro fae.

They wonder what the chill down their spine is.

[fu-aki]

I just wanna talk about how Kalim and Jamil normally acts before talking about the possibilities of Scarabia chapter.

Their relationship could basically be summarized in one sentence: an energetic kid and his tried single mom.

Okay enough memes I’ll just list all the things I’ve gathered in their lines and episode stories that I know of.

Spoiler alert for Kalim and Jamil’s episode stories.

Kalim is the first son of a super rich family.

Kalim has a magic flying carpet. Which is a national treasure level magic item. 

Jamil’s ancestors were born to serve the Al-Asim family.

Kalim and Jamil grow up together and Jamil probably served him all along.

There’s multiple kidnapping attempts towards Kalim ever since he was a kid. (Original dialogues: I was kidnapped a lot ever since I was a little kid, don’t think I can even count the numbers with my two hands anymore, so now I won’t even be surprised by it)

There was also many times Kalim was poisoned as a kid. Which leads to him not wanting to eating anything but what Jamil made him.

Jamil basically has to cook for all of Kalim’s party too.

Jamil is really good at cooking.

Jamil is in basketball club with Ace and Floyd.

Jamil learned how to dance when he was a kid because Kalim wanted to do it.

Jamil know how to break dance, and he also knows how to do the move where you spins on your head.

It’s likely that Jamil is hiding something in order to not attract other’s attention.

Even Kalim was surprised that Jamil wasn’t picked as the dorm leader, but Jamil just says that he’s not fitting for it and he’s fine with being the vice leader.

Jamil did Kalim’s ceremony outfit’s makeup. (Honestly I feel like Jamil did all of Kalim’s makeup but so far the ceremony one is the only one that’s confirmed in story)

Kalim is probably pretty good with magic judging by his lab cloth episode where he cooked food with magic only and didn’t even touched the knife with his hands.

Kalim does value the promises he made with Jamil a lot, like how he promised to not use fire and knives because it was too dangerous.

Both of them (especially Jamil) are pretty on alert for assassins, Jamil even made some of his classes same as Kalim just in case something happens in class.

That is all I could think of so far. Hope this can help you understand them more.

Honestly Jamil really don’t seem like that bad of a guy to me in these stories, he truly do looks like he wanted to protect Kalim, but then again who am I to say anything after seeing the end of chapter 3 haha.

Let me just go back to my little corner and cry

[caltropspress]

Notes on Pink Siifu’s NEGRO

You and anybody else who wants to get their random vicarious kicks off White Power can stay the fuck away from me. 

—Lester Bangs

Tell a nazi he can suck my dick. —Pink Siifu, from “SMD”

My first contact with white america was marked by her violence, for when a white doctor pulled me from between my mother’s legs and slapped my wet ass, I, as every other negro in america, reacted to this man-inflicted pain with a cry. A cry that america has never allowed to cease; a cry that gets louder and more intense with age….A cry? Or was it a scream? —H. Rap Brown (Jamil Abdullah Al-Amin), from Die Nigger Die!

it is the hour of conflict, antagonism, struggle the world turning autumn in warpaint everything silently prepares to scream —Amiri Baraka, from “Disorder”

1.  

White institutional power operates to negate or suppress. To that end, white institutional power bestows awards on singular figures when it’s convenient. Let’s call one such example Kendrick Lamar. Pulitzer Prizing DAMN. is white institutional power taking cover. This, in no way, defangs DAMN. But it does provide crowd control. Pink Siifu, meanwhile, won’t be awarded a Pulitzer for NEGRO. If he did, I’m confident he’d pull an Adrienne Rich, telling President Clinton to choke on his National Medal for the Arts, seeing as how the U.S. gov’t drives “the demonization of our young Black men.” Siifu would be PE boycotting the Grammys on the grounds of Black invisibility. Or John Lennon relinquishing his membership in the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire because, well, empire (see: Biafra).

2.

NEGRO is what happens when Three 6 Mafia goes full bandolier, full decolonization, full Thomas Sankara. When the emphasis is on the 666 sirening[1] across white cop foreheads, reflecting off Makrolon face shields. Siifu cites and channels Sun Ra, June Tyson, Death, and Bad Brains, but you also hear the mass hysteria of Abbey Lincoln’s vocal cords trembling, of Max Roach’s We Insist! in a street brawl showdown with the LRAD. Basically, it’s Ornette blowing sax in a riot, harmolodics like incendiary devices.

3.

“FK” is the primal scream reaction of hearing the news another one of your people has been killed, snuffed out. Suffer through our screams, it says to the listener. And “out of body, out of mind” distorts what we see with what we witness. It’s the re-played, re-tweeted, re-shared visuals of Black death.

4.

At moments, NEGRO sounds like Aaron Dilloway organizing a chapter of the White Panther Party.

5.

Siifu’s lyrics are a Stokely speech draft. His artistry is prismatic, shattered pane glass: crust punk, jazz cat, marching band drummer, hood ballerina, noisemaker, bareknuckle emcee. His lyrics should be run off on the mimeo and saddle-stitched into a chapbook for Totem Press to publish.

6.

“SMD” samples from Ivan Dixon's 1973 film The Spook Who Sat by the Door (“Do you hear me, man?...I am BLACK!”). Just like dead prez sampled the dialogue before Siifu on “We Want Freedom.” Siifu and dead prez are bedfellows, for sure, but Siifu's head rests on a pillow of static. It’s the friction that electrifies.

7.

NEGRO is the art of de-arresting in audio form. As the comrades at Mask Magazine have stated, de-arrests “are beautiful,” reminding us “the law and the state are not supernatural forces.”[2]

8.

I’ve always felt uncomfortable using the word freedom. It’s a word that’s been co-opted and gutted to the point of parody. I subscribe only to a different form of freedom, one articulated in noise. Suicidal Tendencies’ “Freedumb” cuts it: “Peace through politics is a fallacy—that doesn’t exist.” Liberation more seriously expresses the extinction agenda. Poor Righteous Teachers taught the curriculum out of Trenton, on “Freedom of Death”: “Consciousness—it’s a must / Just avoid the wicked, wicked ways of this pale Caucasoid.”

Regardless, we see freedom, liberation, knife through even with Siifu’s orthography. Revolutionary thought requires revolutionary language. Ask the Combahee River Collective. Come correct. Fuck autocorrect. Remember womyn. Siifu spellings like: nxggas, eye, tyme, iono, and the evergreen ameriKKKa. The abbreviated words—eliding letters wherever possible—don’t reflect self-censorship so much as the mindmaze of a harried man. Deliberate typos demonstrate no faith in the system. It’s like if Bon Iver (see: “22 (OVER S∞∞N)”) decided to forgo BLM symbolic gestures (Mahalia Jackson) and straight-up encouraged looting. Siifu is CAPS LOCK happy, too. We’re witnessing the joy of militancy.

9.

To begin with, it must be said that former African slaves and their ancestors have been the avant-garde of everything in this country. There’s no culture in America, in this American wasteland, without us. There’s no classical music; there’s jazz, and that was invented by us. And besides that, America has nothing to offer the world and it never has. —Idris Robinson, from “How It Might Should Be Done”

Siifu in the audience of the Congress of Afrikan Peoples, and Baraka imploring him like, “Get up, Pink Siifu.” It’s nation time. But on “Nation Tyme.,” Siifu groans, I’m tired…can’t fall…asleep. Black rage, of course—but what of Black insomnia? The French revolutionaries abolished the calendar. CPT, so, is rightly weaponized. “I feel fettered by Western time,” Gregory Pardlo writes in “Colored People’s Time.” Punch clocks need punching, smashing. I saw Baraka roll up to a conference panel late as fuck once, cane-walking right down the center aisle, shameless, commandingly.

In a somnolent slur, Siifu says, “They treat me like I’m wasting away / I know I’m worth more than they pay.” What of these capitalist definitions of work? What of productivity? What does it mean to monetize every waking moment? He’s been quoted as saying, “I ain’t have to work for no white man.”[3] “Nation Tyme.” picks up there.

10.  Feel like deadmeat. They say I’m deadmeat.

“DEADMEAT” is a pig siren stuffed into an industrial-grade slaughterhouse grinder. It sounds the way Alan Vega's sculptures look—hazardous masses of electronic junk, like wires raveled inside a homemade bomb, like buzzing viscera. 

I want to see Siifu perform it at the Meat Locker, a cellar club in the underguts of Montclair, New Jersey (s/o the dramacydal Outlawz). The place is dingy and bedecked with feces—a venue befitting a GG Allin opener. GG Allin, a racist, who also hated cops. Who, on “Shove That Warrant Up Your Ass,” a track that appeared on the posthumous Brutality & Bloodshed For All album, sang, “You say I broke the laws in your state… / Your courts and cops should all be hung.” Allin hoists a headless, legless, armless torso on his hip in the cover photograph—a slab of meat. Like the Beatles with baby doll parts and prime cuts in their laps, bloodless butcher coats on the original Yesterday and Today (1966) artwork. Like the papal kill floor in Francis Bacon’s “Figure with Meat” (1954) with its tapestry of offal. But what you don’t get from Bacon, or the Beatles, or GG Allin is what Siifu needs us to hear. What Siifu tells us is the reality of corporeality is that cops continue to make carcasses of Black people.

11.

That cellar club can be scream therapy, can be cell therapy. Siifu brings us there—to the darkest, dampest corner of the Dungeon Family’s dungeon. Big Gipp, speaking self-defensively: “Try to separate me from the blood / Is disrespect like you coming in my home and not wiping your feet on the rug.” It’s echoed in Siifu addressing the question of his audience: “This [album] is for black people, but I know white people are going to fuck with it. I’m mad cool with that. I just want everyone to know, before they come through the door, that this is a black house and you have to respect my people.”[4] The theme of respect as it relates to a sense of home, to cultural tourism, is paramount in both. Everyone’s got to know their place. No listener should approach ignorant of the auction block. Siifu’s noise refuses the separation of kinsfolk and his stubbornness makes the dungeon shake—he is rightfully “tough, dark, vulnerable, moody,” and, on NEGRO, he has a “definite tendency to sound truculent.”[5]

12.  

“ON FIRE, PRAY!” eventually grinds the brakes to a cavernous slowjam pace. “Blood on my body / Blood on my face.”

13.

The racist dog policemen must withdraw immediately from our communities, cease their wanton murder and brutality and torture of black people, or face the wrath of the armed people. —caption on Huey Newton photograph

NEGRO’s album cover, painted by Junkyard, is a call-and-response. Pink Siifu is a portrait of exhaustion, slouched, shirtless like Huey was when he was released from the Alameda County courthouse in 1970. It’s a tableau like Huey in that rattan peacock chair was. Eldridge Cleaver orchestrated it, right down to the zebra rug.

If you squint, the glimmer of Siifu’s gold fronts looks like his jaw is wired shut. Of course, violent threats are routinely directed at Black people—that's how the system operates. Media is often behind the scope. Relentless orders to “shut up,” to silence yourself, police yourself. We know this from David Wojnarowicz, photographed with his lips sewn shut, blood dripping like shadows, in “(Silence = Death)” from 1989. The violent threats on queer life are kin to those on Black life. But Siifu, like Wojnarowicz, refuses the censorship. After all, those aren't wires—they're the glint of his grill. Siifu is dribbling blood, too, and those black splatters across the flag are like pen bursts—ink poisoning for all. If you squint, the mind’s eye might see the Pan-African flag.

The flag above his head recalls Jasper Johns’ flags: elliptical, non-patriotic, made slop-bucket sloppy from newspaper shreddings and other detritus, i.e. amerikkka is a trash heap. At least the stars are black in the “Flag (Moratorium)” rendition. Bullet hole dead center, too.

If all goes well, the riots going on—bless them—will go on interminably. Sly Stone’s customized flag with black in place of blue[6] and sharp solar-flared suns in place of Betsy Ross geometric stars is yet another parallel to Siifu’s flag. Like Sly, Siifu isn’t opposed to police ambushes. They both know you’ve got to grin at the gun of the devil. (“Don’t you mind people grinnin’ in your face,” Son House sings eternally.) Citizen takes on cop on “Thank You For Talkin’ To Me, Africa”: Bullets start chasin’, / I begin to stop. / We begin to tussle. / I was on the top. Just the same as Siifu on “SMD”: “Iono why eye ain’t shot ya.” Or on “run pig run.”: “Kill a cop / Left a pig dead.”

14.

We can't disparage any aggressive protest on the reductive grounds it's aggro or violent. I think of Pam Echols in Milwaukee in 1968. Siifu’s assertion of you are my enemy on “steal from the ENEMY” corresponds with Paris’s sophomore and shadowy album, Sleeping with the Enemy. Like on the corrode-ode “Coffee, Donuts, and Death”:

You get poached when you fuck with black folk. Said it ’til my voice was hoarse. I ain’t down with excessive force, But of course I wasn’t heard so I’m silent now. Black folk can’t be non-violent now. […] The only motherfucking pig that I eat is police.

Which is to say, try no pork, ameriKKKa.

15.  RE: punk

Think of Bad Brains playing CBGB’s in 1982. Lester Bangs writes of a woman in the scene who referred to Black people as “all these boons.” He tells us a Black friend of his believes the clubgoers “[strive] to be offensive however they can.” Anti-Blackness plagued CBGB’s and nascent punk like vermin, a pestilence. A white woman in the music business claims she “liked [Black people] so much better when they were just Negroes.” These anecdotes are culled from Bangs’ 1979 Village Voice piece entitled “The White Noise Supremacists.” He notes Ron Asheton’s predilection for “swastikas, Iron Crosses, and jackboots.” He cites Ivan Julian, guitarist for Richard Hell and the Voidoids—one of the few Black individuals to grace those inchoate punk stages—as saying “whenever he hears the word ‘n-----’…he wants to kill.” He calls Nico a “dumb kraut cunt” for her brazen, Third Reich-ish brand of racism, which was no industry secret. Bangs even implicates himself, quoting an earlier article: “…it’s the n-----s who control and direct everything just as it always has been and properly should be.” He meant this, somehow, as a compliment.

16.

On “we need mo color. Abundance,” there’s no innocence left in asking “tell me your favorite color.” Siifu answers rhetorically, parenthetically, melanin. Don't settle for forty acres of color—demand abundance. Take, loot in abundance. And don't be contained by the gendered parameters of “pink or blue.” “You can have any color you like” suggests the limitless possibilities if you move your mind beyond the imposed parameters.

The “favorite color” invoked on “we need mo color. Abundance” becomes abundantly clear on the following track, “BLACK!”

17.

“ameriKKKa, try no pork” starts in a slurry of radio static, news reports of Black death. Black, Black, Black, Black. Sped up. Slowed down. Drag the progress bar. “Progress,” ha.

18.

“run pig run.” See the pig / Run away / Run, pig, run. Like a Dick and Jane basal reader. Like picking your favorite color. Like a Three Little Pigs fable. Like huffing and puffing. These are childhood exploits for childhoods that aren’t allowed to be. As long as the Kenneth and Mamie Clark doll experiments keep providing the proof, there can be no childhood innocence. So it's a carnival game in the meantime: See a pig / Shoot a pig. Huffing and puffing: Run, pig, run.

19.

"myheartHURT" is the safehouse after the shooting. It's the cooldown, the chillout. The hypnagogic nightmare. It's vaporwave minus whiteness. We all know Biz had the vapors before Daniel Lopatin. As if DJ Screw was just an apparition, a codeine cloud. The fact remains, Screw's phantasmagoria hovers above all our heads.

20.

The wail of distorted police sirens introduces “Chris Dorner.,” a track gleefully indebted to Ice-T and Body Count’s “Cop Killer.” Repetition was a popular device and it still is: die, pig, die. Chris Dorner has achieved folk-hero status in anarchist circles and beyond since he waged asymmetrical warfare on the LAPD. His manifesto has been published as a zine.[7] “No one grows up and wants to be a cop killer,” he wrote. Begs the question.

21.

“faceless wings,BLACK!” nods to Frank Castle[8], a figure who may or may not be recoverable from militias and thin blue liners, despite Gerry Conway’s best efforts.

22.

White institutional power operates to negate or suppress. Pink Siifu, through NEGRO, refuses suppression and negation. Siifu delivers a hole in the head, and it’s sublime.

Footnotes:

1  “The Law comes sirening across the town.” Gwendolyn Brooks, “THE THIRD SERMON OF THE WARPLAND” from RIOT

2  “De-Arrests are Beautiful.” Mask Magazine.

3  “The Necessity of Pink Siifu’s Rage.” Marcus J. Moore. The Fader.

4  “Pink Siifu’s ‘NEGRO’ is a Riotous Mix of Jazz, Rap and Punk.” Max Bell. Bandcamp Daily.

5  Baldwin, the god.

6  “What did I do to be so black and blue?” (see: Armstrong); light a reefer and listen to the phonograph (see: Ellison)

7  Research and Destroy New York City. https://researchdestroy.com/

8  https://archive.org/details/PunisherPigs

Images:

Emory Douglas work (detail), courtesy of Sean Stewart archives | Makrolon face shield, Google Image Search result | Amiri Baraka performing at the Congress of Afrikan Peoples (screenshot) | Alan Vega light sculpture (photograph) | GG Allin Brutality & Bloodshed for All album cover | The Beatles Yesterday & Today album cover | Francis Bacon, “Figure with Meat” (detail) | Goodie Mob “Cell Therapy” (screenshot) | Splitting up a family at auction, Public Domain | Huey Newton Black Panthers Minister of Defense, photographed by Blair Stapp, 1968 | Andreas Sterzing, David Wojnarowicz (Silence = Death), 1989 | Sly and the Family Stone There’s A Riot Goin’ On album cover | Jasper Johns, “Flag (Moratorium)” | Pam Echols punching cop, 1968 (photographer unknown) | Sid Vicious, nazi (photographer unknown) | Emory Douglas work (detail), courtesy of Sean Stewart archives | Biz Markie Goin’ Off album cover | Oneohtrix Point Never Memory Vague album cover 

[clansayeed]

Bound by Destiny II, part 1 ― Chapter 18: The Side Effects

PAIRING: Kamilah Sayeed x MC (Nadya Al Jamil) RATING: Mature

⥼ MASTERLIST ⥽

⥼ Bound by Destiny II, part 1 ⥽

While struggling with nightmares of lives she’s never lived, a shadow from the past looming over her city, and the proposed idea that her life may just be a little bit too weird to handle alone, Nadya makes sure to tell herself that everything is perfect just the way it is. If only. When the self-proclaimed King of Vampires (and Maker of her sometimes-girlfriend and always-boss, can’t forget that little tidbit) Gaius Augustine returns intent on claiming Manhattan as the throne that was promised, she and her friends find themselves forced into the task of saving the world. But with millennia-old vampires and an Order of hunters on their heels as well as allies hiding catastrophic secrets at their backs… it won’t be an easy task. Too bad destiny didn’t exactly ask for her input.

Bound by Destiny II and the rest of the Oblivion Bound series is an ongoing dramatic retelling project of the Bloodbound series and spin-off, Nightbound. Find out more [HERE].

*Let me know if you would like to be added to the Destiny II tag list!

⥼ Chapter Summary ⥽

These things take time; a lesson Nadya is learning the hard way as she continues her psychic training. Guilty consciences are eased, an old flame gains new fire, and a night out on the town doesn't go as planned.

[READ IT ON AO3]

Six weeks later…

“Perhaps we shall make this our last trip for the night, ma chérie?”

There’s a hint of chiding in Serafine’s voice but it lacks real heart. That much is obvious by her amused little smile when Nadya throws a look back to her. It certainly doesn’t help the woman’s case that during these last few excursions into her halls of psychic memory she’s pretty much been given free reign. Like a kid in a candy store.

“If you’re saying that because you’re worried about me tiring myself out — I actually feel really good this time. So maybe, like, one more after this?”

Her enthusiasm gets a little laugh in return. “We shall see. It wouldn’t do to overexert yourself too soon. Now — come back closer please. We won’t be wandering aimlessly this time.”

She falls back in step at Serafine’s side; eyes widening in surprise. “Then why are we here?” A completely innocent question that by all accounts should have had an equally innocent answer.

But there isn’t one single instance in history when a stretched out and tense silence meant anything good. Well… she supposes she’ll find out soon enough.

There’s no doubt in Nadya’s mind that the real Hall of Mirrors in the real Palace of Versailles — only a metro ride away from their apartment — is still breathtakingly beautiful. She doesn’t even doubt that a connected woman like Serafine herself could get them into the Palace after hours for a real, physical tour of the place. But there’s a unique beauty to seeing it in its prime. Everything still fresh and new and dedicated to the Sun King rather than those who came after his reign.

There must be a hundred candles above and around them. But they are, for the purposes of this memory, a source of light rather than heat. Even when Nadya stands on tip-toe and brushes the flat of her palm through a steady orange flame she doesn’t feel so much as a tickle.

Just another oddity to hammer home Serafine’s first lesson.

You are not a participant in the world around you, here. You are merely a voyeur — there to observe and nothing more.

They reach the center of the long and glittering Hall. Serafine stops and gives her an expectant eye. “How are you feeling; has anything changed?”

“Nope — everything’s still crystal clear.” Even in her excitement Nadya knows the importance of these questions. This may look like a field trip on the outside but deep within it’s just another in a long string of exercises. And they’ve been working at them diligently; every night for over a month now.

Frankly it’s about time all her hard work started paying off.

Out of the corner of her eye Nadya sees a flicker in the normally steady light. The flames of half a dozen candles barely clinging to their candelabra’s moorings giving a little impromptu dance. Just a small wind, she tells herself; and chooses to ignore the contradicting stillness of the window drapes.

“Is something supposed to happen?” Is something happening already?

Serafine nods in reply. “Up until tonight, our focus has been on the first step — the crossing of the bridge between minds and memories. But memories aren’t portraits frozen in time. By their very nature they are alive and in an endless cycle.

“The task we’re undertaking won’t be one you can find in an abandoned landscape, Nadya. When the time comes you must be ready to bear witness.” If only the apology in the vampire’s furrowed brow wasn’t more unsettling than it was reassuring… “And I regret to say not everything you take in will be beautiful.”

The candles waver around them again. Casting long shadows and dewdrops of golden light across every shining mirror. Bitter experience has Nadya almost certain she does not want to look into one. Better to spare herself even a brief glimpse of any number of dark and horrific deeds.

That’s the thing about bad memories. They are far too easy to conjure up — no matter who they belong to.

“Perhaps we’re attempting this too soon.”

Concern catches in the woman’s normally carefree tone and drags Nadya’s attention back outward — makes her shake her head insistently.

“I’ve gotta do it sometime. We’re already here, so let’s try it.”

“Are you sure?”

“No pain, no gain.”

Whether the vampire believes her or not, she accepts it. The memory continues.

Sharp footsteps echo back in the direction they had come from. Serafine looks up with a strange resignation in her dark eyes; her normal soft-humored smile replaced with pursed lips turned down somber and stoic.

Nadya doesn’t have the chance to question her about it before Gaius waltzes through the open doors.

He’s not real — he’s not real—he’s not real. She repeats the mantra until the thought is all-consuming but that doesn’t make it any easier to see him. He looks exactly the same after all. As does the familiar cherubic face that skips happily away at his heels.

Marcel.

Every step Gaius takes is with purpose. His eyes are trained forward but from where she stands it’s like he’s looking right at her and even though her brain is a broken record screeching he’s not real he’s not real he’snotreal nothing can stop the noise she chokes out; the hasty one-two-three steps back she takes before he passes her right on by.

She breathes.

You aren’t a participant in this world. You’re just a voyeur.

Marcel’s face lights up and he takes off in a dash, calling out “Serafine, Serafine!” gleeful and grinning. Nadya turns just in time to see him leap into her arms. She swings him around in a full circle before setting him down. They exchange familiar kisses on either cheek.

All at once the child’s face goes sour. The delight of reunion now gone and replaced by something much more important. Nadya knows this because she can feel the trepidation rolling around her insides in that now-familiar phantom way. A feeling that only comes with memory.

“Tell me it isn’t true, Serafine,” he practically whines; throws an arm out behind him to gesture vaguely in Gaius’ direction where he hangs back from the pair politely, “please tell me it isn’t true!”

The two older vampires lock eyes. Serafine wars with the guilt creasing her brow. Her King, as ever, able to compose himself utterly porcelain.

“You know full well I wished to tell him myself.” Her dress billows out as she takes to her knees.

Gaius shrugs; clasps his hands together behind his back. “It happened to come up; in my defense I thought you had already told him.”

Child’s hands cup Serafine’s cheeks. Marcel’s lower lip wobbles.

“Why won’t you come with us?”

She covers one of his hands with her own. “My work here is not yet done, petit. Not while the Holy Knights still lurk in the Sun King’s shadows. Surely you of all people can understand that.”

“But where we’re going… there won’t be any Knights.”

“For your sake I would pray so.”

“Banner is coming; Kamilah too! I cannot bear the thought of leaving you behind!”

“And your love brings me unbounded joy, but —”

“How can you stay here Serafine,” he interrupts, “after everything they did to us? In the New World we can start a new life! One without having to worry about the Knights, or—or any of their silly human struggles.”

Serafine quirks an eyebrow up at Gaius. “I would dare say the struggles in a unfamiliar world would be far greater.”

The man inclines his head. ��Steps have been taken to ensure we will be well-received.”

“How can you be certain?”

“Do you doubt me, Mademoiselle Dupont?”

There he is. The Gaius that Nadya recognizes, who she struggled to try and find under his powdered face and frilled collar. But she knew he couldn’t resist showing his true self for long. All this decoration is just another glamour. He’s still a monster beneath.

Quickly Serafine bows her head; speaks a low “Non, My King,” and is forced to wait until he silently accepts her apology to regard him again, “but I have seen the struggles of new nations before, as you have. What is to stop the Holy Knights from following you across the world? They have done so before; surely they would again.”

A shiver runs down Nadya’s spine as she watches Gaius’ eyes burn red. Dozens of flames reflected that give him an awe-ful power; something near godlike. Even though she knows firsthand he won’t see that kind of power for centuries to come it still leaves her frozen in fear.

The Vampire King smiles down at the pair cold; confident.

“I would hope they try. For then I will show them what happens to their kind in my Shadow Kingdom.”

The world around her begins to blur at the edges much to Nadya’s relief. Pinpricks of flames growing brighter, whiter; until they swallow her and the three vampires whole. Until Gaius and Marcel are left in the past and that version of Serafine with them.

Then all she sees is the black void and flashes of nameless colors behind her closed eyes.

Nadya waits until the high-pitched ringing in her ears dies down; gives way to the sounds of the apartment and the strange life they’ve built within it. She knows from tragic experience that coming back to herself, to her own head and the present with it, so soon would only end in nausea and the occasional nosebleed. Funnily enough she’d rather avoid that this time around.

When Lily’s laughter from the other room is louder than the noises in her head, Nadya knows she’s in the clear.

It takes a few blinks for her eyes to adjust. She reaches blindly and feels a cool glass slide into her hand. Her thumb brushes over Adrian’s — he waits patiently until she has the strength to hold it on her own. Each gulp soothes the itching, burning rawness in her throat. A welcome relief.

“How do you feel?”

“Honestly? Kinda fuzzy.”

She regains full and clear sight just in time to catch the furrow in Adrian’s brow. “‘Fuzzy,’” he repeats; and he’s two seconds from scribbling the word down on a notepad before she stops him.

“It’s okay. I’m okay.”

“But you just said —”

“Yeah, well…” Nadya turns her head to look across the table; to Serafine and her (rightfully, absolutely justified, totally warranted) guilty expression. “I wasn’t exactly expecting to hang out with Gaius tonight, so fuzzy is better than the alternative.”

The woman grabs for her waiting glass of wine and sips. Tries—and fails—to be idle about it. At least she isn’t pretending like she didn’t throw Nadya for a loop.

“What the heck was that about?”

Serafine swallows after a moment. “It was not my intention to sneak the memory upon you, Nadya.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“You’ve been progressing so well, ma chérie. The decision was a spontaneous one; not to mention a success, do not forget.”

“Yeah, but…” Surely she gets why Nadya’s not the happiest camper! “Did it have to be him?”

“I was advised you work well under pressure and with little time to think.”

“By who?!”

She regrets it the second she asks. No, she knows the answer the second she asks. It’s pretty obvious after all; possibly even more than since Nadya isn’t alone as she and Adrian whirl around in their chairs to look through the doorway into the living room.

Jax is just a little too focused on his book to actually be reading it.

“Nadya —” Serafine drags her attention back with a hand over hers, lacking warmth but still just as soft; she still tries her best to keep that frown front and center, “— you did remarkably. Far better than I could have hoped. Ask yourself; do you feel any of your usual aches or side effects?”

Under the pair’s scrutiny Nadya does go through her mental checklist. However reluctantly. The ringing is all but gone and whatever stomachache she’s feeling is probably because she hasn’t eaten — for fear of the nausea she doesn’t feel either. Every physical followup she’s experienced since they began the painstaking process of dismantling her ‘psychic walls’ either isn’t there or is so faint it’s easily attributed to being human.

Her defeated sigh is met with smiles from both Serafine and Adrian — rude of them but… still. “No,” she reluctantly admits, “but that kind of pain usually only happened when the memories were being pushed at me, you know? It was all chaos and noise and crowds and stuff I couldn’t understand. But… that doesn’t make what you did okay.” Since Nadya really doesn’t know which was worse; the pain of being practically assaulted with vampire memories or the stress of having to even look at Gaius’ dumb face.

At least she gives Nadya that. “I apologize for my deception. But this is fantastic news. It means we can begin pushing your boundaries, seeking what we need; what all of this time has been for.”

All of this time, she says; like Nadya hasn’t been struggling with her self-imposed guilt every single day. Like she hasn’t been pushing herself — sometimes a little too far too quickly — because it’s been six whole freaking weeks.

Six weeks of psychic Karate Kid training.

Six weeks of (admittedly delicious) gut-wrenching French food and wine.

Six weeks of absolute radio silence from New York.

“We will begin plotting our course tomorrow evening.”

Serafine drags her attention back to reality as she stands; Adrian with her out of habit. She grabs her coat from the back of the chair and folds it over her arm. The last look she throws Nadya’s way is a proud one.

“May I walk you out?” Adrian asks and offers her his arm. It takes everything in Nadya’s power not to burst into knowing and maybe even childish giggles. Like he hasn’t walked her out every night since they started this?

But hey — with roommates as nosy as them she gets his want for even a little bit of privacy.

The woman takes his offer with warmth in her eyes. “I would be glad of the company,” she accepts. The pair exit the apartment with remarkable grace; especially seeing as their sharp vampires ears definitely hear their audience’s laughter the moment the door closes behind them.

When she’s gulped down enough water to hope the Gaius in her head is drowning, Nadya joins Lily on the couch with a box of leftover macarons. It’ll be sunrise soon; not enough time for them to get into any trouble worth the effort.

“Any-f’ing ah’ all?” Nadya asks around her mouthful of sugar; jerks her chin in the direction of the news station Lily must have settled on some time ago.

It’s no surprise when Lily shakes her head. Nadya doesn’t even know why she asks anymore.

Yes she does. Because she’s Nadya.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna come with us?” But this is the third time she’s asked and by now the jig is up — Lily knows full-well she keeps turning back because it’s an excuse to try and inch her way away from the door. A way to try and find a reason to stay right along with him.

Judging by the wry amusement in Adrian’s little smile he’s pretty aware of it too.

“I’ve never really been a club kinda guy. But don’t worry about me — you guys go have fun and have a drink on my behalf.”

“See?” Lily all but snaps. “We’ve practically got his permission to go!”

Jax can be seen through the open front door; waiting in the hall with arms crossed over his chest and foot tap-tapping in exasperation. “You can’t force her to go if she doesn’t want to go, Lily.”

Which is something even Nadya has a hard time believing. It’s like he’s never met her or something. Or maybe it’s because he has — because he knows trying to convince her that she isn’t the Grand Master on High in Control of Nadya’s Fate will only ensure their night out could only be stopped by a nuclear apocalypse.

Nadya wrenches her wrist out of Lily’s grip with no small amount of effort. If she bruises, someone’s sleeping on the couch. “Nadi’ I swear to God —”

“I’m coming, okay?! Yeesh just…” Her words trail off when she looks back to Adrian. All on his lonesome at the kitchen table normally shared by at least two others, staring at his laptop screen with his usual work-busy furrowed brow and his index finger curled over his chin in deep thought.

“Just gimme a minute, okay?”

Lily holds her hands up in mock surrender. “Fine, fine. You’ve got three minutes before I haul you out over my shoulder. And don’t think I won’t.”

“I know you too well.”

“Damn right.”

She closes the door behind her, separating them and leaving Nadya and Adrian actually and properly alone. When it’s clear he won’t be looking up from his screen of his own free will she huffs her way over to him, practically stomping in her heels by the time she gets there, and forces the lid closed with an open palm.

Adrian jumps back, startled. Even with superhuman senses he gets too lost in his work too often.

“Well hey there stranger,” sarcasm dripping from her drawl, “welcome back to reality.”

Adrian tries to frown but there really isn’t any heart in it. He’s barely frowned at all these last few weeks — not unless Psychic 101 ends up leaving her with a headache the size of the Eiffel Tower. It’s been refreshing to see; which is what makes seeing even the shadow of it now all the more frustrating.

“Please come with us?”

He takes her outstretched hand and squeezes it with his own. “I’m not kidding about the clubbing thing, Nadya. And I don’t want you to miss out on my account. Go, have fun, enjoy the real Paris for once. Serafine is right — you need a break. I think we all do in our own way.”

Nadya’s eyebrow almost becomes one with her hairline.

“You know this —” she circles her finger around the laptop, “— this is the exact opposite of taking a break.”

“Not for me.”

She’s probably winding down on her allotted time. When Nadya reaches out Adrian meets her halfway; both of their hands together swinging between them. He’s probably thinking the same thing, too, since he throws a look towards the door fully under the assumption Lily is about to storm her way right back through. Likely while using Jax headfirst as a battering ram.

Adrian brings her back to reality with a tiny squeeze. “You don’t have much time left to tell me why you’re really so hesitant. I’d use it wisely.”

Nadya whines; it comes out more petulant than anxious which definitely wasn’t her intention in the least. Luckily Adrian knows her pretty well already.

“Are we bad people for doing this?” She asks, and bites her bottom lip.

“What, going out?”

“Doing something fun.” Because Kamilah definitely isn’t having fun. Maricruz definitely isn’t having fun.

So by that logic they definitely shouldn’t be having fun. Right?

“Nadya… c’mere.”

And this, right here, is the reason she’s okay with not being able to double back to her apartment for her anxiety blanket. Adrian’s hugs are just as fulfilling; just as calming. She buries her face into his shoulder and squeezes so tight her arms start to prickle with pins and needles and he knows just the right amount of pressure to give back.

He pets her hair with a small sigh. “I don’t think I’m telling you anything new when I say this, but things… aren’t all that great right now.”

“Wow, really?”

“Really. But this may surprise you — things are still going to be not-so-great tomorrow. Or the day after, or the day after that. It’s terrible, I get it. Every night I wake up and my first thought is always the same; ‘this isn’t the day I’m going to fix things.’ And that eats me up inside. I’m sure you’ve seen it… because to me it feels like if I try and pretend I’m not battling those thoughts then I’m doing a disservice to everyone who stayed behind; especially to those who didn’t have a say in the matter.

“And there’s nothing wrong with feeling that way, or thinking negative thoughts. In fact, I think they can be great reminders for what we’re working towards, here. What everything is for.” Adrian eases her back, practically forcing her to look him in the eyes. He may be smiling more but in the end that doesn’t make up for the fact that Adrian likes to shoulder a lot of the world’s emotional guilt. Nadya does, too. It’s probably why they get along so well, huh? “But if you don’t step back and remember what makes the loss of something so sad to begin with, then you can get caught up in all that negativity way too easily.”

Nadya’s sigh is a heavy thing, but she feels the weight — the burden of it lessen like the oxygen in her lungs. Adrian’s right; they both know it. But how dare he use his years of experience and immortal wisdom against her like this.

How dare he make her feel so young.

“I know.”

He nods. “Kamilah stayed behind because that was the right thing to do. But I think we both know she’d be giving you the lecture of a lifetime if she knew you were spending all your time beating yourself up about it.”

Ugh, true. “Yeah, and when she would be done all the time for going out would have been used up.”

“Exactly.” He kisses her forehead and tries his level best to shift her hair back in place. He fails, of course, but nobody’s perfect.

“So go and enjoy yourself for tonight. You’ll feel less guilty tomorrow, I promise.”

“Promise me you won’t brood here all alone tonight, instead?” Which makes Adrian laugh and leaves Nadya more than a little confused. Less so when she catches his smile.

“Who said I’m going to be alone?” He glances at his watch. “Serafine should be here soon. And you guys were supposed to be long gone by now.”

Ew. He’s staying behind to get lucky.

“Just… don’t forget to put something on the door,” after a quick ruffle to his hair for revenge, Nadya slings her purse over her shoulder and makes to scram, “your tie, a sock, something. I’ve seen enough things to scar me for this lifetime.”

“Not funny, Nady—!” She cuts him off with a closed door.

Jax heaves loudly. “Finally — can we go?”

With Lily’s arm looped in hers Nadya starts to walk rather than give him a verbal answer. “This side of you scares me, you know that?”

“Not me,” Lily chimes in, “after my banger I’m convinced you were a regular Travolta in your heyday.”

“White suit and all?”

“White suit and all.”

Their laughter follows behind Jax like a banner of shame all the way down the apartment stairwell.

By the time they make it to Hip-Trendy Parisian Club Number Three, there’s nothing left for them to do but finally be honest with themselves.

None of them are really “club people,” and even if they were there’s something so fundamentally wrong with the sight of people partying, kicking back; enjoying their lives. Of course these random strangers don’t know any better; their lives are weird and complicated in their own unique ways but for Nadya, for Jax and Lily? All they see are blissfully ignorant victims dancing and grinding and drinking their way through the end of the world.

Not that they don’t nab a few of those drinks for themselves on the road to enlightenment.

Lily forces her way none-too-gently through the throngs of neon-clad pretty faces, finally arriving to their little standing table like she’s made it home from a decade-long war. Nine shot glasses scattered on the tray, more than half of them the same color purple as her locs, and they all grab one and raise the first drink in cheers the same way they had at the club before this, and the club before that.

“For Kamilah.”

“For Mari. Salud.”

“For the Shadow Den.”

In what is now a well-rehearsed choreography, the trio knock back their glasses with gusto. Is she following Adrian’s advice and trying not to wallow in guilt, yes. Does that mean they can’t take a drink for the things their hearts ache for, absolutely not.

Artificial lime flavoring does wonders for masking the alcohol’s burn all the way down to her stomach where it settles just about as well as every other weird flavor before it. When Nadya comes back up she sets the glass down a little too heavy-handed; lets her world spin for a moment in ways that have abso-tootly nothing to do with vampire memories or psychic visions.

Well, that’s what she thought, anyway.

Her brain has a different idea and has decided (without her permission, to be clear) that it’s totally okay to blur the lines between reality and memory. It wants her to see things that aren’t actually there.

Oh, he looks like he is. Sticking out like a sore thumb in his crisp but ill-fitting suit and a scowl that probably sealed in place when he was Turned. Among the party-goers and club kids he’s not easily missed and the fact that he isn’t even trying to blend in all but hammers home the fact that he can’t be real.

Much to her surprise Nadya doesn’t even have to think hard to place where she’s seen his face before. Then again all of the Baron’s goonies look the same at the end of the day; stock-cut henchmen out of a bad British spy flick.

One second he’s standing there, a literal sore thumb in the neon-colored chaos. Three blinks later he’s gone; retreated back into Nadya’s unconscious where she will, inevitably, replay the events of that night on the airstrip over and over and over again.

“Welp, it’s official,” Lily takes her remaining two and knocks them both back together, because why not apparently, “we are the biggest bummers to ever bum around Bummertown.”

It’s enough to bring Nadya out of her Bloodkeeper weirdness and back to the others. Jax, leaning over the table with his head sagging onto his palm, looks to her for translation. Not the first time tonight.

“We’re very sad, dear.”

“Oh, yeah. But that’s not a real place, right?”

“No, dear.”

He clicks his tongue and takes his time sipping something with edible glitter swirling around inside. Flecks shimmer in dazzling rainbow on his upper lip when he’s done, but she can’t muster more than a “heh-nheh” at the sight.

“That’s the double-edged sword of being a mosquito, you know?” Lily looks at them both like they should very much know what she’s talking about. They do not.

Nadya pushes her glasses up carefully. “Uh… pardonnez-moi?”

“You know…” flicking over one of the empty glasses, “on one hand, you can’t get drunk. No hangovers is literal nirvana. On the other hand, you can’t get drunk. And I think I’d give my left tit to be drunk right now.”

“You did always prefer your right one.”

“It’s better shaped.”

Twin looks make their way to Jax at the same time, and finally there’s something worth laughing at. He’s looking between them like they’ve burst into spontaneous French and he’s never heard the like in his life, and that’s pretty freakin’ hilarious. He doesn’t even let her try to translate in between bouts of laughter; just holds up his hand and looks away with a disgruntled “I don’t want to know, I really really don’t.

“But —” and doesn’t that make them snap back to attention, “— I’ll agree about the booze thing. It’s not hitting the spot, you know?”

Lily nods in solidarity. “Just what I was thinking.”

“We could always try somewhere else?” Nadya offers, and tries not to look as utterly offended as she feels by the mutual sympathy the vampires send her way.

“Not like that, it’s… Lily, you explain it.”

Subtle wink. “It doesn’t —” —subtle wink— “— hit —” —subtle wink— “— the spot, Nadi’.”

Not the way Jax would have done it but he did hand it off, so that’s on him. “Not like we were dining out every night at the Shadow Den, but sharing the rations on Raines’ plane between three vampires doesn’t even reach the bare minimum. D’you get it now?”

Yeah, she got it after the first wink, but thanks for hammering it home. And she feels pretty bad about not considering their plight earlier — choosing instead not to look when the day’s blood bag makes the rounds rather than make sure everyone was getting their fair share.

As she sweeps a long look over the crowded club, though, it doesn’t seem like one or two people heading off for an hour or two would be all that noticeable. Right? The advantages of fast-paced urban crowding.

“If you guys need to, like, do the thing, I could be lookout?” she offers. Jax doesn’t miss a beat to laugh, like she’s suggested robbing a bank to meet a measly bar tab, but when he glances to Lily she isn’t joining in. In fact, she looks incredibly thoughtful.

“No.”

The younger vampire whines and stops her foot against the concrete dance floor. “Come on… we’re careful! And it’s just once.”

“We haven’t scoped the territory, noted the exits… we’d be sitting ducks for that order of hunters.”

“I get that,” Nadya agrees in earnest, “but do you really think there’s enough of them to scope every club in Paris, or even all of Europe?”

“I think risking it is inviting trouble.” And maybe she’d be content to let the matter rest if he looked as sure as he sounded. But it isn’t a trick of the lights that have his eyes changing color; Lily’s either. Nadya recognizes the look and by now she’s been around vampires long enough to know when the hunger starts to hurt more than the reasons for it help.

All it takes is for Jax to look at the flicker of desperation Lily normally keeps hidden in her eyes. Maybe it’s easier for someone else to feel it, too. “Okay, okay,” he grunts out, immediately sliding into a different kind of leaning stance. One that reminds Nadya of a tiger; of the predators they actually are. “But we do this as carefully as possible, and we need to find someone who won’t think twice about what’s going on.”

Lily grins wickedly. “So someone high off their asses, got it.”

Anyone else — and perhaps even a version of Nadya in which none of the events of the last year-and-then-some have never happened, thus making her staggeringly normal — would—should—find this to be ‘too far.’ But that version of her doesn’t exist. The last year-and-then-some did happen and Nadya would rather her friends do what they can to keep themselves safe and strong and very much not easily beaten bloody. Despite all of that and with her compromised morals aside, though, she draws the line at actually helping them find someone. That’s a bit like asking a vegetarian which beef tenderloin looks the best, isn’t it?

The girl Lily and Jax finally agree on is ordinary. Well, ordinary in a hangs-out-in-French-clubs kind of way; so almost alarmingly pretty in ways Nadya doesn’t want to describe for the health of her own self-image. There’s a moment where she wants to question their choice only because she doesn’t… look like she’s on something. But when Jax goes over with his dark hair swept a bit over his eyes and the top three buttons of his shirt undone and does his thing — Nadya realizes she’s just a hilariously bad judge of sobriety.

Probably doesn’t help that she’s not too sober herself.

Could be minutes, could be ages, either way Jax finally gets the young woman to follow him out through the back door of the club. “He told her he had a motorcycle,” Lily tells her, making sure to lean in and keep both of their heads down as they abandon the rest of their drinks and follow soon after, “which actually isn’t that bad of an idea.”

“What a gentleman.”

“Actually you’d be surprised. He dresses like a bad boy but he’s pretty tame once you get to know him.” No matter how much she wants to doubt it, though, Lily would know wouldn’t she?

Abandoning the humid atmosphere of the club for the outside world is like traveling to a whole different planet. And it’s one Nadya isn’t sure they should be on; not when the abrupt shift in all her major senses acts as a big fat slap in the face to the fact she’s definitely had more than she thought. It’s like the lack of constant thrumming of bass in her veins throws her off-kilter; has Nadya reaching out for Lily’s arm to steady herself on something, well, steady.

“You sure you’re okay to be lookout?” She gives Nadya a once-over that’s just long enough to show she’s reconsidering. Which simply cannot do. So she pulls up her Big Human Girl Pants and practically shoves Lily away.

“I’m fine!”

Lily’s eyes narrow in suspicion. “I dunno… you’re reminding me of Easter again.”

“Hush, we promised never to speak of Easter.”

“Well at least you remember that.”

It’s the perfect place for this sort of thing; an alley only open at one and and with a large chunk of old wooden pallets stacked precariously against one wall and a dumpster pressed up against the other. The smell isn’t exactly what Nadya would call appetizing, and it can’t be much better for Lily’s hyper-senses, but the hunger wins out over bad smells just like it does over continuing to argue. She squints through the fingerprint smudges on her glasses, trying to catch a glimpse of Jax in the darkness, but all she can see are shadows. Can’t even tell if they’re moving or not.

“Is he back there?” Turns out sight isn’t what was needed, though. Nadya isn’t exactly familiar with dingy alley makeout sessions but she does know what intense kissing sounds like. “This is gonna scar me for life.”

Lily pecks her cheek; when she pulls back her eyes are bright and red and near-primal. “You’re the best B-F-F ever, you know that?”

“Yeah, yeah, go… slurp or whatever.”

She’s lookout, remember? No amount of money could get her to follow and watch.

With a couple (light) smacks to her cheeks and a big gulp of wintery air Nadya whirls around on her heel. The club back door is on her left, the mouth of the alley dead ahead — oh yeah, nobody’s gettin’ in here without her knowing about it.

Well… nobody except for the returning hallucination of Evil Henchman #1.

“Just ignore him, he’s not real…” Nadya mutters under her breath. The same thing Serafine had her say the first time this had happened, and every time after. Eventually her psyche will re-align itself or… re-build her defenses or… whatever technical term there was for the echo of her own memory going away on its own. “Or at least try and think of someone less ugly.”

The hallucination frowns; deep lines carving themselves into his face all the way up around his lumpy bald head.

Nadya’s halfway to pulling out her burner phone to beat Lily’s high score on ‘SNAKE’ when it dawns on her.

Hallucinations don’t react.

“Found you.”

[ofaylin]

⌠ BAHAR SAHIN, 19 CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, AYLIN KALELI! according to their records, they’re a THIRD year, specializing in LINGUISTICS, CULTURE, & ASSIMILATION AND RESEARCH & DEVELOPMENT; and they DID go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (hair pulled back with a chanel ribbon, lycra boots with razor blades in the heel, champagne and french macarons in a bubble bath, wiping your tears with a $100 bill). when it’s the (leo)’s birthday on 8/3/00 they always request their FRENCH FRIES from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation.

STATS / PINTEREST / CONNECTIONS / CLASSES

INSPIRATION.

bex baxter – gallagher girls

carmen cortez – spy kids

blair waldorf – gossip girl

cher horowitz – clueless

torrance shipman – bring it on

jackie burkhart – that 70s show

cordelia chase – buffy the vampire slayer

tahani al-jamil – the good place

BACKGROUND + CLICK FOR BIO.

both of her parents work for the national intelligence organization of turkey, they’re big shots and they make a lot of money! she has two older sisters and she’s born into a world of wealth and expectations. 

it won’t take her long to learn more languages than years she has lived, and waking up early to run drills and do obstacle courses with her sisters is routine.

picture perfect on the outside, the household within goes through turmoil. her mother is promoted to the director of the NIO and it puts a strain on her parent’s relationship. 

her father starts taking more business trips, and aylin and her sisters spend nights sitting on the top of the stairs, listening in on phone conversations. aylin’s the youngest, so she doesn’t really understand what’s going on and needs to have it broken down.

aylin had always LOVED her parent’s love story – they met on a mission and they were partners for years, it’s all very romantic. so the divorce leaves her confused. how could you stop loving someone? how could you just give up?

both of her parents are an active part of her life, the divorce is…fairly amicable and they share custody. the only thing aylin doesn’t like is her father’s new girlfriend, young and totally uninvolved in the world of espionage. the girl could be her sister. 

aylin spends her time split between two houses, half-belonging to each, but her parents feel GUILTY so aylin quickly learns how to use that guilt to get what she wants, whether it’s freedom or material goods.

she’s a little spoiled, but it doesn’t satisfy her. nothing really does, it just makes her feel sort of empty, so she works harder, filling time with books and training with her older sisters who tell her cool stories from their spy prep schools and teach aylin things they’ve learned when they come home for breaks. 

aylin long for the day when she’s not splitting your time between other people’s homes and she’s in a place that she can really call her own.

she goes to the same spy prep school that her older sisters did in london. she’s competitive from the get-go because she’s a kaleli and people already expect things from her to begin with. she smiles when people call her by her sister’s name or mention her mother, but inside she’s seething, eager to prove that she’s good because she works hard, not because she’s someone’s sister or daughter.

it’d be a lie to say that aylin didn’t step on a few toes, and the way she skyrocket to valedictorian is a little less than savory.

she has her pick of spy prep colleges across the nation, but her mom really encourages her to choose gallagher. why? that’s weird, her mom never went there and neither does the rest of her family! but aylin really likes the idea of a place that’s all hers and she’s always wanted to see america, so she chooses it. 

she’s a bit smug about being ahead of others because she’s been reading books on espionage since age 4, and if you don’t know sixteen languages, stay out of her way.

PERSONALITY:

PROUD. aylin is a very proud person, she grew up in an affluent household with important parents. when faced with a challenge, it’s her pride that tends to motivate her to be the best because she feels like she has something to prove, and she’ll turn her nose up at you until she gets it. this also makes her stubborn.

INTELLIGENT. aylin was raised in an environment where she was being trained since her childhood, knowing about espionage since she could speak, but she also has an iq of 122, so not quite genius level but she’s getting there. she’s the head cheerleader type that you’d be surprised is actually really good at math.

HARD-WORKING. queen of taking on too many extracurriculars at all times! honestly she tends to overexert herself until she burns out, but she wants it all – the exciting social life, the straight As, the meaningful connections, the parties, when does she sleep? maybe never.

SNOBBISH. honestly, she doesn’t mean to come off as a snob but she definitely does because she hasn’t really known anything other than crystal dishware and fancy clothes. she doesn’t even comprehend that other people don’t come from the same place of privilege that she has.

FUN-LOVING. the girl you want to party with! just because she’s a good student, she wouldn’t want you to think that she doesn’t know how to have a good time. aylin operates in extremes, so she parties just as hard as she studies and has a tendency to get carried away, but let it be known that she’s doing this for herself and not for anyone else’s attention.

MANIPULATIVE. aylin will step on toes to get what she wants, and she’s not scared to fight dirty. she tends to stay in the lines of what’s legal of course, but if she sees a window into getting what she wants, she’ll say what she needs to in order to get it. honestly, she can be a bit callous with the way she uses people and doesn’t always understand the effects of her actions. she would tell you that the ends justify the means. yikes.

INDEPENDENT. doesn’t need you or anyone else and wants you to know it. her confidence is genuine and real, and she doesn’t attribute any of her accomplishments to her family name – she’s not insecure about it, she knows that she’s good at what she does.  

HEADCANONS.

started school early, so she’s a bit young for her grade by a year. she sees this as a positive thing and will brag to you about how she’s younger AND smarter. annoying.

acts like she really likes healthy food and eats a salad in public ( will tell you that’s her favorite food ) but she’s weak for things that are greasy and fried and will be pigging out in secret. her favorite food is french fries but you probably wouldn’t guess that about her !

LANGUAGES SHE KNOWS: english, french, turkish, arabic, german, kurmanji, italian, dutch, spanish, mandarin, japanese, latin, hindustani, malay, russian, bengali. some are better than others and some she reads more than she can really speak.

taught herself to skateboard since coming to america since it seemed like the thing to do based on watching american films. she will ride her little penny board in high heels around campus and loves it ! and you thought i couldn’t make her more annoying !

tons of expensive lingerie but u can look but don’t touch.

has a little stuffed rabbit in a tutu that she got as a baby named  dans tavşanı, and she always sleeps with it lol. however, it was recently stolen in her luggage when she was traveling home after the semester and she misses it a lot.

started drinking bc she wanted to be like her sisters and fit in and she’s fun to party with, but has never seen or touched a single drug in her life, not even weed. with parents that work for the government, she’s concerned about it. 

super into classic romances, her favorite book is pride and prejudice and jane austen is her favorite author! loves classic romance movies too, or anything by norah ephron. she’s lowkey a romantic and needs to be romanced and feel special before she’d ever consider dating someone or even crushing on them, really. scary movies freak her out though, she will lose her shit at a jump scare. 

her parents are not super strict about their religion, but she doesn’t eat pork and her dad doesn’t keep any alcohol in the house. she definitely keeps a lot of secrets from her parents, and they don’t know that she’s ever had a boyfriend. 

lowkey a HUGE nerd !!!!!!! 

leo with a virgo rising and cancer moon. i am so SORRY !