#why does everything about this situation have to be so fucking distressing with no way to make it any better

[thethingything]

okay so we had a bunch of panic attacks and then a meltdown and then we calmed down a lot and we might be able to handle going back to the hospital tomorrow but it's definitely gonna fuck us up physically and if they try to get us to do more tests or stay in the hospital overnight we will probably just have more panic attcks.

like I'm torn between "the emotional release from crying and freaking out so much probably helped" and "getting that upset probably just triggered our brain's survival response of repressing the shit out of it" and if it's the 2nd one (which I think it might be because if I try to think about it there's a lot of resistance and that feeling of "I shouldn't keep pushing this") then it's not going to help in the slightest when we actually get there tomorrow

[antimonyandthyme]

Wouldn't it be crazy...if carcar in the situational prompt list no. 60... one/both of them being hit with truth spell/serum

They’ve all been through it. Oscar isn’t special, or any more special than the nineteen other people who share a track with him. On the cusp of breaking into Formula 1, every one of them had someone who sat them down, acted all nice, like a friend they hadn’t seen in years, then pried them open to get a glimpse of anything rotten. Oscar’s just thankful it was Mark. Someone who Oscar knew cared for him, for real, and this way he could look past the interrogation and assign it some form of kindness. In true form, Mark had gone about it in the most awkward way possible, as only someone who hated doing the questioning as much as he hated doing the answering could, and that at least hadn’t made Oscar’s skin crawl.

Hey, uh, kid. Is there anything you think I should know? Uh, romantic, or otherwise?

Even then, he’d been defensive. His past life wasn’t for sale, newly minted F1 driver or not. The girl he dated for longer than he should have, the guy he kissed in maybe too public of a place. Even in the face of Mark’s sincerity, he’d been torn between honesty and mortification.

He doesn’t know why the memory’s popping up right now. It’s Vegas, and so many things happen in Vegas that outside of the race, not a single other thing bears significance anymore. Oscar doesn’t question it when she gestures him over, or when she points to a deck of cards, laid out on a low table like a trap. Something in the air here shakes out his sensibilities, loosens his tongue.

“Will you tell me who will win?” He pauses, backtracks. She might not even know who he is. There are no cameras around. “I could place a bet if you help me.”

“You aren’t a gambling man.” Her voice is strong, rich like an anchorwoman, completely unlike how he’d expected her to sound. “And anyway, you’ll live it out, tomorrow.”

Oh. So she does know.

The furrow between his eyebrows he cancels out with a bland smile. He gets the impression he should leave.

“I could tell you other things.”

“What other things?” It’s good to keep his mind distracted on the eve of a race. He’s always said that. Has he always said that? Well. He’s saying it now.

She draws a card. “The Fool.”

“Not a good start,” Oscar says. “I think I’m gonna—”

“Inexperience and improvisation,” she says. Her teeth are wondrously bright, straight like gravestones lined up in a row. “Not bad, all things considering.”

All things considering, being how this season is going? What does she know.

“I’ve read this somewhere before,” Oscar says. If it’s a fight she wants.

“The Suit of Swords,” she continues, as if she hasn’t heard him. “A logical mind and a spoken word.”

“You have a preplanned deck, for anyone who walks pass.”

“The Tower. Misery, distress. Unseen catastrophe.”

Oscar grits his teeth. “And then you use the same cards, in the same order, for every person. You’re purposely vague.”

“The Three of Wands. Stepping outside of comfort. Persevering.”

“Everything you say can apply to anyone,” Oscar says. This is as combative as he gets. “It’s all a trick.”

“Ah,” she says, and for a second, Oscar thinks he’s broken through, that she’ll snap at him, shoo him away. “But the Seven of Swords, reversed. A turning point. Starting anew.”

“I’m leaving,” Oscar says. Getting distracted on the eve of a race is folly. He’s always said that. Said that to Carlos, only a month or so ago.

“Only one remedy, for someone as recalcitrant as yourself.”

“I’m leaving,” Oscar says again, tongue like cotton. His feet stay right where they are.

She presses the last card into his hands. That video that had gotten viral years ago, the one where you could hand literally any item off to someone who was speaking on the phone. A shoe, a burger, a baby. This feels weightier than a baby. Oscar’s fingers open and close around the card, a wind-up doll dancing along to someone else's tune.

“Norris is winning tomorrow,” she says.

“Oh, fuck off.”

--

They both went into it with the exact same intentions: to come out of it perfectly intact. It was such a foolish notion from the beginning that they were unwilling to allow any heartbreak over it. So stubbornly, wholeheartedly, they worked their damnedest to come out of it perfectly intact.

If he can look past the way his heart wobbles in his chest whenever Carlos so much as looks his way, Oscar will say it’s been a success. He goes to bed, wakes up, races, while forgetting the intimate press of Carlos’s lips against his. They have a renegotiated new normal, the distance between them adjusted to a boring meter. Just close enough so as not to appear frosty, but far away enough that their shoulders can’t possibly accidentally bump.

“Oscar,” George greets cordially. “Feeling good about today?”

“Like hell I am,” Oscar says, with all the earnestness of a puppy still learning how to use its paws.

Multiple calculations flicker across George’s face. Like how much he actually wants to get into it, and how best to weave his way out of it.

“Chin up,” George says, then turns to Alex.

Oscar rolls his eyes. Catches himself doing it, and makes a concerted effort to pull his eyeballs back down into place. It isn’t like him to be so careless with expression. People act like honesty’s a virtue, then jump back like it could scald the moment it pops up in conversation. He sidles away, and finds himself waving at the crowd, a painless armlength from Carlos.

He suddenly, fervently, hates night races. He’s exhausted. It must be why. When Carlos opens his mouth, says something entirely cordial and normal, like How are you, Oscar’s tongue wriggles itself and lets loose.

“I miss you,” he says. The words are out before Oscar can clap a hand over his mouth. “I feel like shit and I miss you.”

“Right,” Carlos says. Still waving at the crowd, but with his shoulders pushed all the way up to his ears. “And I’m Cleopatra.”

“You’re more beautiful than—aw fuck.” He actually bites his tongue. To stop himself from talking. He needs to stop talking.

“Oscar,” Carlos says. He looks a second away from bolting, except there’s not much place to go, being on a moving bus. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Recalcitrance,” Oscar recites. “And an inability to be honest. Fuck. Fuckkkkk.”

“I’m serious, Oscar. If this is some mind game, you can drop it, yeah? We’re both adults. We can be adults about this.”

“I can’t,” Oscar says pleadingly. “I can’t stop thinking about you and I can’t stop wishing it could be different even though I know I was the one who—”

“Enough,” Carlos says, more hurt than Oscar’s ever heard him. This is what honesty does? Oscar should have burned those cards in front of that woman. “You can’t do this now, it’s not fair. After all you said before, you don’t remember that?”

“I lied, I’ve been lying,” Oscar says. “But I can’t now, apparently, you have to believe me.”

“I don’t have to believe anything,” Carlos says. “I don’t need you fucking up my race.”

“Lando’s going to win,” Oscar says miserably.

“You’re an asshole,” Carlos says, then goes to shoulder his way into some other group, and return to waving at the fans, leaving Oscar now a very painful one, two, three, four, five meters away.

--

Lando—wins? Then gets his win stripped away because of some penalty, moving Max up into first, Oscar into second, and Carlos into third.

She’s right, but only on a technicality. Oscar doesn’t want to give her that. And anyway, second place is pretty damn euphoric. He also gets to spray Carlos with champagne. Soak Carlos with it. Pretend the crinkles on Carlos’s face are for him.

He’s not thinking about his lack of filter when there’s a mic shoved up into his face.

“Obviously, I feel for Lando. It’s never a nice experience when you think you have something, but you don’t.”

Behind him, Carlos is waiting to give his interview. In front of him, the reporter’s face is suitably sympathetic.

“I mean, obviously, sometimes. It’s not even your fault. But sometimes—it is?”

“Right,” she says. “About the penalty, right?”

“Uh huh, the penalty. Sometimes it’s totally your fault. When you push people away.”

“You mean off the track?”

“Yeah, off the track,” Oscar nods fervently. He needs to buy this lady a bottle of wine, bless her. “But Lando will recover, the team will come back stronger.”

“Are you happy with your podium today?”

“Of course,” Oscar says. “I’m happy Carlos was up there with me. He deserves it. I’m happy he’s getting these podiums with Ferrari, so they can see—”

What they’ve given away, what they’ve pushed away.

Carlos is suddenly closer, behind him. Hand on Oscar’s lower back, subtle enough that no one else can see. Chiding, but gentle.

“—see him celebrate with this team.” Safer, but no less true. “I’m. Uh, very happy.”

“Right,” she says. “Just one more thing.”

“Ay,” Carlos says, in that lovely, good-natured way of his. “Is my turn now, no?”

“Of course,” she laughs, utterly charmed. “Oscar, thank you for your time.”

Carlos’s hand on his hip feels almost protective, the way he nudges Oscar away from the pen. Go, go. Button it up. You’re not for sale. Go.

--

Carlos examines the card under the neon glow of the strip. The waxy paper’s almost see through when he holds it up. You stare too long and in the end, you find you’re just looking directly at the lights, hurting your eyes. Unsurprisingly, when Oscar took him to where the woman had her little table set up, she wasn’t there.

“I think you got sold some snake oil.”

“I didn’t buy anything,” Oscar says.

“But you’re being made to pay,” Carlos says, grinning. “I’ve never heard you like that before. I’m happy for Carlos, just like that! To the media too. Impressive.”

“Go on,” Oscar says. “Kick a guy when he’s down.”

“Sorry,” Carlos says, sounding like he means it. Oscar’s heart does that pathetic quiver before it rightens itself. Carlos is always so quick to retract his claws, the moment he thinks he’s drawn blood. “It’s just, you know, kinda nice, having you like this. You’re never like this.”

“You could.” Oscar swallows. Prays that he has it in him to be brave. “Ask me anything now. I wouldn’t be able to lie.”

Carlos looks at him, before looking down at his feet. “That’s cheating, no?”

“For you?”

“No,” Carlos says. “For you. You’re cheating, like this.”

Ah. If Carlos had been anyone else, maybe he could have just asked and spared them both the trouble. Something like, Hey, hey. Be honest. Do you have feelings for me? Instead, Carlos hands the card back. Unwilling to go for the jugular. Classic Carlos.

Oscar wants so much to take his hand.

He clears his throat. “Do you remember. Uh. Before you started in F1. Did you ever have to. Like. Go through all of your past with anyone? Tell them who you dated and stuff?”

“Ah,” Carlos says. “Eh. Well. My Dad mostly already knew everything.”

“I think Mark wanted the ground to swallow him up, asking me.”

Carlos giggles. “I bet you were very embarrassing.”

“I, uh. Wasn’t very honest with him.”

“Good,” Carlos says.

“Good?” Oscar says, like some lost puppy.

“Yes, good,” Carlos says seriously. “It’s not for anyone else.”

Oscar waits for Carlos to ask, even while knowing Carlos never would. Not like that. Ball’s in Oscar’s court, as they’d say. For when he finally works through his recalcitrance and inability to be honest. I don’t want to reveal you to the world. Risk you in the slightest, Oscar wants to tell Carlos. That’s why I said all that I said. That’s why.

The card’s not strong enough for that. Not when Carlos, who’s equally as stubborn, refuses to invoke its magic. He’s protective like that, Carlos. Oscar offers him a wobbly smile, an olive branch. All that he can give right now. Generous that he is, Carlos allows the distance between them to shrink to something almost friendly, almost enough to bump shoulders.

--

Just for the fun of it, Oscar goes back, a couple of hours before he’s due at the airport.

She’s there now, of course.

“I don’t need this anymore,” he says, placing the card back onto her table.

She tuts at him like she’s disappointed, but shuffles the card back into her deck anyway.

“Also, Lando didn’t win.”

“Boy,” she says. “Do you think I actually watch Formula 1? Run along now. Do this your own way.”

“I will,” he says. “Thanks, I guess?”

She laughs. Grins at him in a way that’s both sinister and encouraging. Were her teeth always gleaming gold? “Your flight’s going to be late,” she says.

“Oh, fuck off.”

[holy-obsession-batman]

UDRH but Nightwing is trying to 1) hide that he’s still Renegade 2) babysit Rose Wilson

Quick recap for those who don’t know what I’m talking about, after some very bad no good events happening to Nightwing in Blüdhaven, Slade Wilson aka Deathstroke offers Dick a deal to make the city neutral, free of both superheroes and supervillains. In exchange, Dick is to help train Deathstroke’s daughter, Rose aka the second Ravager.

However, Dick ends breaking the deal, turning Rose against her father and to the heroic side. Slade gets his revenge some time later by literally wiping Blud’ off the map via nuclear bombing — and that bit happens right at the same time as the events of Under the Hood. Now. What if Dick didn’t break his deal with Slade, and is still being Renegade, Deathstroke associate and Ravager’s tutor when UDRH happens?

Imagine Nightwing coming to Gotham to help with the Red Hood situation, except he’s got Rose on tow, because that was the only way Slade let him go: taking part in or at least watching a bat operation will be a meaningful experience for her. (Also dad-ing really doesn’t come naturally to this dude and he really, really need a brat-free vacation least he ends up snaping and eviscerating her)

The Bats have NO IDEA what Dick has been up to since Blockbuster’s death 8 months ago.

Feats:

Dick still too chicken to explain his last 8 months to Batman (Blockbuster’sdeath-Tarantula-jail-joiningthemob-Slade’sdeal), doing a bad job of dodging everyone’s question about why the fuck he was MIA for huit months

Tries (and fail) to hide Rose’s whole existence from the bats, ends up panicking and blurting out that she’s his sidekick (then has to pay her to play along)

the good, old, linear buildup in tension in the Red Hood investigation for the dramatic confrontation with Batman gets kinda thrown off as both the Batfam AND Jason keep getting distracted by the bits they learn about Nightwing’s MIA months

They all find out different bits separately

Babs thinks Rose is Dick’s new girlfriend and Rose gleefully plays into it. Actually angst topic because this is Tarantula trigger for Dick.

Red Hood watches in amusement Dick’s utter failure at damage control with Rose ‘Father, I crave violence’ Wilson ("No, you don’t get to gut the goons!"), finds it funny and goads her on.

Rose and Jason feed on each other’s menace gremlin energy and everyone suffer through ten times the drama. (The combined chaos is the only reason Dick manages to dodge the bat-inquiries for as long as he does)

"Are- are they—oh god, they’re flirting—"

If I were to do it character by character:

Dick: too chicken, desperately tries to believe he can dodge everything and just leave again

Rose: spends her unending feral energy in equal part on making Dick’s life a living hell and enthusiastically flirting with him, (he’s gentleman-ing the hell outa dodge). Match with Jason in freak, daddy issues, blood craving, secret longing for love, mental age, edginess and terrible flirting skill.

Bruce: hasn’t had access to his emotional support Dick Grayson for nearly a year, his communication skill has regressed to inarticulate. Distressed Fussing Hovering Brooding. He’s trying to investigate what happened to Nightwing but at the same is afraid to cross some boundary and have him go to ground again so he’s holding back a lot.

Babs: awkward mixed feelings between worry for Dick and the ex-girlfriend package of bitterness and suspicion. Suspects that Rose is Dick’s latest love interest.

Jason: in all his freshly-bathed Red Hood glory, at peak angst potential. Still a chaos gremlin who finds Nightwing’s hardships with the Ravager hilarious, and eggs her on. Also still concerned curious about wtf got to Nightwing, and trying unsuccessfully to investigate. Match with Rose in freak, daddy issues, blood craving, secret longing for love, mental age, edginess and terrible flirting skill.

Tim: has just spent the last few months with the Titans under violent attacks of Joey Wilson (check out this post it’s hilarious). Subsequently not impressed with Red Hood’s attempt in Titan Tower, also very up to date on Wilson family lore. He’s the one to figure out the shit.

Also this proposed fic ends with everyone and their mother father getting their asses kicked by Cass—as it should be.

Bonus: dialogue snippets

(Masterlist)

[quarterlifekitty]

To add to my earlier ask about how I have more step-dad Nik, your add on was so good because absolutely. Yes. Sweet girl is too fucked out to ask about protection or to think of anything other than Nik fucking load after load into her. She also doesn't think to ask for protection the next day in the shower since Nik gets her so worked up with his mouth first. Makes her cum on his tongue at least twice before fucking a few more out of her and filling her again. Cleans her up too, happy to hold his sweet girl and bathe her. Now I don't know how but she manages to get Nik to let her leave a second time (Nik is getting a new house ready closer to her college so she can attend online schooling, he doesn't want her feeling stir crazy when she's further along after all) and about a month after getting back she finds out she's pregnant. And despite being absolutely terrified of the situation she doesn't want to get rid of it, or at least keeps putting it off out of nerves. She eventually asks Nik if she can come visit and he's like 'oh, I sold that house, too many memories with the ex, new house is much closer to you though, do not worry' and he picks her up. Hand on her thigh the whole way to his (their) new home. She tries to act normal and everything but Nikolai can tell his sweet girl is distressed and presses her for the reason. Eventually she caves and tearfully confesses she's pregnant and she's 'so sorry' that she was so reckless and that she swears she won't bother him with anything and she'll go and he doesn't have to worry about her. And Nik only smiles 'Ah, what makes you think I'm mad? Hmm? And on that note, what makes you think that I'm not going to keep my pretty girl right here where I can take care of her?' and while SD should definitely be nervous and the red flags should be waving she never had a great basis for healthy relationships and she is falling for Nik as ashamed as she was of it at first. She keeps asking him if he's sure and it gets to a point where he just picks her up and takes her to their bed to show her just how sure he is. Funny side note Nik fully shoots her mom a text with something like 'thanks for introducing me to my soon to be wife, you should expect grandchildren within a year. Don't expect to see them though.' (take any dialog I type as an idea of what someone says cause I'm ass at typing in character) Once again thank you for listening to my rambling

Bro please ramble here all the time forever. I love this and I owe you my life.

Nik sending his ex a picture— doesn’t have your face in it, but you’re wearing like the one piece of family jewelry you ever got from her side of the family. It’s got your baby bump, and his hand holding yours— got a pretty ring on it now, too. And then he blocks her <3

Also reader like 100% has daddy issues in this one. Like her mom is piece of work and her dad is completely absent for whatever reason— when was the last time someone took care of her? Probably back when she was physically incapable of caring for herself. From the moment she could dress and feed herself she was on her own. It’s why it’s so painfully easy for her to fall into things with Nik. After a life that kind of treatment, Nik’s brand of doting is like crack.

And I like to imagine, while she might not know this in a full conscious way, she wanted to keep the baby because she fully expected Nikolai to leave her. It’s what she’s used to— and it’s strange for her to depend on him so much when he’s just her former stepfather, no? She’s constantly second guessing herself about leaning on him even a little— that she’s probably bothering him, and he’s just too kind to tell her off. But she does love him. So things would be hard, to raise the baby on her own, but at least she’d have a piece of him with her. She could remember the moments they shared that way, even when he left her.

She’s in for the fucking, no, the lovemaking of a lifetime when she confesses that little tidbit to him.

(This is all just my humble onion as this story is yours lol but this is what goes on in my imagination realm)

[rhemaji]

Lil rant abt Caine

Caine is just a lil guy, despite it all. From a design standpoint I thought I was gonna absolutely fucking hate looking at him because those chattering teeth toys make my skin crawl- but the art direction really helps make him look more appealing and whimsical than a disembodied pair of talking dentures sounds on paper.

The thing with Caine is I didn't initially like him that much after the pilot. While his interactions with Bubble were quite funny, that one episode left me feeling like he'd just end up being kinda one note or at the very least one note in a way that'd get on my nerves. Then everything changed when Pomni Wake Up Time to Go On an Adventure! attacked

The comedic timing throughout that announcement video was so fucking funny and thanks to his line deliveries and animation/model [?] upgrades- CAINE LOOKED AND SOUNDED SO ADORABLE!!

Legit it wasn't until this came out that I realized I actually could be on board with Caine as a character and it's been uphill from there. Episode 2 was better than the pilot not only comedically and visually but also in terms of showcasing just how actually unsettling Caine can be as an antagonist. Not because he's vengeful or malicious, but because he's so oblivious to how people work. His mind's always buzzing with terrible ideas and he's so so eager about these adventures, but at the end of the day he really really doesn't get the circus crew. Try as he might to include them, keep them engaged [ZOOBLE WAIT!], or even give them what they want [Exit doors] he doesn't realize how traumatic and distressing their current situation can be. The very nature of being trapped in a digital world is bad enough but it's especially rough here bc not only does its god have limited capabilities, you also are very well acquainted with him, and he can't fully understand your pain nor can he truly save you from it. He won't mourn your abstraction. He will not attend your funeral. He will not understand the distress of your arrival, nor the weight of your departure.

This isn't just sad from the pov of the circus gang, it's also very sad for Caine- not because i think he'll ever feel sad about it himself necessarily, but instead because the situation is sad. New members appear over and over, you craft adventures and games and distractions like [i'm assuming] they'd asked you to, but over and over, one by one, they abstract. They stop laughing at your jokes. They don't like you. They want you to leave them alone. It's confusing and maybe even inconvenient.

Where I'm hoping the series takes Caine is that this dissonance between Caine's intentions and the distress of the circus gang gets worse and worse and worse until something's got to give. I'm hoping that maybe at some point a character will try to sit down and talk with him and for it to either sorta get through to him but completely backfire in some form because he misinterprets what the others want from him OR i'd also be down for him to listen, but not understand any of it and proceed as tho nothing happened. I don't want Caine to come around really, it'd be interesting to see how Goose would go about having him come around to being a better host that empathizes more with humans, but personally I do prefer him to keep on keepin' on being this oblivious and eager antagonist.

My favorite Caine lines/line deliveries so far:

"You, my friend, stumbled into an incredible world of wonders, where anything can happen!…e-except for swearing."

"And here we have THE GROUNDS! Drown yourself in the digital lake, or engage in ridery at the digital carnival!"

"What do you think of XDDCC? You're right, terrible, LET'S TRY THAT AGAIN!"

"Kaufmo abstracted? Why didn't anybody tell me?"

"Bubble you can't say that"

"-ZOOBLE WAIT!"

"Why are you all just standing there?! The- The Canyon- C-Candy Canyon Kingdom needs you now!" [according to his VA, this was an actual line flub but hoo boy am i glad they use it bc it's hilarious]

"I know you guys love your NPCs, but if I start losing track of who's a human and who's an NPC, who knows...what. could. happen..."

That last line there specifically surprised me the most because up until he said that I was under the impression Caine was linked to every single NPC. I even thought he could see through their eyes if he so chose thanks to his "hundreds of all seeing eyes" line in the pilot. Him saying this here implies lots of things. Has Caine forgotten before? Is someone in the circus secretly an NPC ooooooooh~

"Who knows what could happen..."

Honestly, when Caine first said this I did immediately theorize Jax as being an NPC but now that it's been *checks calendar* three months since I watched episode 2, I don't think this is the case anymore. Jax being an NPC would be...something. Jax not knowing he's an NPC would be interesting [i like it when ppl's realities get shattered], but honestly I think this line was a way to telegraph to the audience that no Caine isn't actually all knowing. He didn't know Gummigoo was coming through that portal until he saw him with his own two eyes. My theory is that Caine is only able to teleport, create, censor, transform, and destroy the world around him, but isn't able to see all of it at once unless he tries to. I think Caine's default state is one where he only knows what he sees directly in front of him/what he himself has left waiting for someone else. And rather than implying someone in the gang is an NPC, I think that line in episode 2 was mainly implying Caine can be tricked, that it's possible to hide something from him, to surprise him even. Though I'm not opposed to an NPC we haven't met trying to join under the guise of being human, it'd potentially create some fun tension assuming the audience was given enough reason to care about them.

Jax is actually my favorite character in tadc, but i couldn't fill an entire post with things to say abt him. Caine seems to be- at least as of right now- the easiest of all the characters to try and wrap my head around. I'll probably have a lot more to say about Jax as he exists in canon as the episodes come out [EPISODE 6 MY BELOVED]

but uhhhh yeah, that's all the things i had to say abt Caine. Pls go watch/listen to the fansong Digital Land bye!

[wis-art]

Yeah guys, i stole this guy's name and my whjole online presence is posting about his wrongs and accusing him of being friends with rapist!!!!!!!

the source: it's from a callout on a popular trans woman by her EX where they both were stoned out of our mind and i didn't fucking talk about any of this out of respect for both of them, but if you wanna fucking go there. The whole shit that they are bringing up is a callout campaign against a trans woman who has been basically threatened into harassing me and salem for months because the person who wolfertinger blog is pals with had all the vulnerable moments she ever said when they were dating, and basically held it against her entire time, and when they broke up the tgirl came to my fuckin dms really stressed out talking to me about it, hysterical and angry because nobody else was willing to talk to her, because when they broke up with wolfertinger's pals they were immediately accused of being an evil rapist and had a massive fucking blackmailing campaign and emotional abuse from her ex. Now i don't really know the details of what happened that night, as nobody really does because according to the tgirl's testimony she and my little stalker were both stoned out of their fucking mind, like she does not remember anything so i dont know what the fuck really happened. Anyways, fast forward the next month, helping that girl not to kill herself and to stay alive despite the abuse and threats and social murder that she faced, she had multiple suicide attempts, which these ghouls call "suibaiting" and it was VERY traumatizing for everybody involved. She did nothing more than say sorry over and over and over and when this didnt work she was so distressed with the idea of being a rapist that she wanted to take her own life MULTIPLE times, so yeah she was NOT exaggerating. When things cooled down a little bit, I asked the person accusing the tgirl of rape what happened, since the tgirl did not remember anything, because of the substance they both took, she told me her side and i agreed, that i can see why you think this is not okay and said "i wish she didnt do this to you but she did and i'm sorry" and essentially after this the tgirl got told we support her accuser's side or whatever and went off on me and left me alone, which is fine, she can be upset at me for this conversation, after everything she has been through. We have not talked since, but to say we are friends with a rapist is just fucking insane and dishonest, as usual and fact of the matter is, that the accusing person has been doing this kind of callout smear campaign to all of their exes which includes salem, telling everybody how abusive and how all their (almost entirely) trans partners were rapists and sexual predators, stirring shit up online. I don't know what to think, i wasn't there in the room, the testimonies are not clear, i don't understand either and i have been harassed by both parties for like 8 months at that point, so i wasn't entirely happy about all of this. And we weren't really friends prior. You make up your own conclusions, but i have no fucking idea. fact of the matter is, this suicidal trans girl has came into my life super suddenly, she has spent many nights crying to me and asking me to comfort her, and i wasn't aware of anything initially other than "oh my god another fucking callout on a trans woman by their TME ex" So i just fucking helped her, i was very traumatized by the whole situation and i would never really want to talk about any of this because the situation is traumatic and scary and real, and people were hurt and suffering. The trans girl has been getting messages like "kill yourself dumb tranny retard rapist" from her ex's cousin or nephew or something, she has been harassed in a very transmisogynist way, and i do hold a grudge over that, like even if the allegations are true, it doesn't make it any less transphobic to say that to someone. Either way, the whole situation was something i wanted to move away from and just move past because i do not want to think about any of it any more than i should, and these people are using just to fucking harass me for helping their victim and standing up for them.

Also the conversation i had with the tgirl's ex about what happened where i tried to be as respectful as it gets and tell them it's okay, you don't have to talk about it, i understand, they fuckin gave me everything and later used it in a callout to tell me how wrong and evil i am for doing this, and that just strikes me as a little odd. Like are you upset i asked about what happened from the alleged victim??? And you're calling me evil and spin out of context because i wrote a lot in those messages about how i feel and asking you to clarify? It's just very dishonest.

Now let's say he is the real stalker here, i am way smarter than all of you. Like shut up, own up to it instead of sending yourself anonymous messages to play it off as you not saying it. Threatening suicide as a fucking mentally ill 19 year old we are still on the fucking 4 year old tweets!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is fucking craazyy. You guys are doing nothing but sending anonymous messages to my mutuals and followers and call us followers despite you running a blog with a stolen name, so people get to see it first when they type in salem's blog name and doing nothing but harassing us and trying to spin these traumatic events that happened to everybody involved public. Like fuck off! Always looking what im saying having notifications on my post, and when i respond and peep what kind of crazy dogshit you guys served up tonight i am the real stalker, i am the real obsessed person, this isn't DARVO and gaslighting or anything... right!? Fuck off.

[gojipink]

Alhaitham + mirror fucking

ஐ summary. exactly what it says on the tin!

ஐ warnings. NSFW, fem!reader, mirror sex, from behind, teasing, fingering, creampie

Alhaitham’s explicit and direct nature bleeds into his actions in the bedroom. He’s in love with how your cheeks dust a bright pink when he makes you tell him exactly where you need him or how your voice is broken and breathless when he asks you to describe how he’s making you feel. He doesn't shy away from giving you specific instructions nor does he shy away from telling you exactly what he would do if you didn’t follow said instructions. So when you find yourself in front of the vanity mirror, ass firmly pressed against Alhaitham’s increasingly hard dick, you know he was planning something not very nice. He has one hand traveling down your naked tummy while the other is wrapped around your throat and jaw, only allowing you to look straight at him through the mirror. His lips brush the outer shell of your ear, voice low as he speaks “Eyes open the entire time or I stop, understand?”, you have no choice but to nod as much as his grip allows and whisper a soft “yes”.

Your eyes are trying to stay focused on his face because it's way too embarrassing the way you can see yourself in your peripherals. Eyes becoming half-lidded, cheeks blushy, and lips slightly parted as his descending hand finally reaches your pussy. Two of his fingertips dip just barely between your slick folds before sliding up to smear your wetness over your clit, his eyes focused on your face as he repeats the action over and over. You have to blink several times to not wholly shut your eyes and watch through hazy vision as his coated fingers enter your little hole, slowly moving in and out. Your eyes close for just a second, relishing how his long fingers feel inside your gummy walls but immediately fly open when all movement suddenly ceases. Making eye contact through the mirror, he gives you a pointed look, “What did I say?” you whine in response and your head lolls back to rest on his shoulder. You know he’s looking for a verbal answer but it’s so embarrassing to say these things out loud!

“y/n, I asked you a question,” he says calmly as his hand brings your face back into its front-facing position. 

The embarrassment that shows on your face doesn’t exactly tell the truth about how you feel in this situation. Your pussy is squeezing around his unmoving fingers, growing even wetter. Though, however arousing the circumstances, you were growing desperate for Alhaitham to move.

“...y-you said to keep…to keep my eyes open,” you say quietly.

“Or what?”

The fullness that you feel from his fingers alone is intense and the lack of friction was making you struggle to fully breathe. 

“Or you’ll stop,” you pant. 

“Do you want me to stop? Hm? Is that why you closed your eyes?” His teasing words are enough to make you beg. 

“‘Haitham…pl-please move…I won’t do it again just-!” you panic as his fingers withdraw completely out of you. “W-wait no, please ‘Haitham I’ll be good, I promise!”

“Shhh, my love, it's alright.” He lightly laughs as he pulls down his pants just low enough to free his hard cock. He soothes your distress with slow wet kisses down the side of your neck. “You’ll always be good for me, right?” he says, peering at you in the mirror as he gathers your slick with the head of his cock. 

“Mm..y-yes” you hiccup as you feel his mushroom tip catch on your entrance before Alhaitham buries himself to the hilt. It isn’t until Alhaitham starts thrusting do you understand the impossibility of his little rule. His eyes watch your half-closed ones like a hawk as he increases his pace, bending you over the vanity and grabbing your hips to gain leverage. Your head is starting to dip down but before you can look down and lose his intense eye contact, Alhaitham grabs a handful of your hair, tugging it back so that your head stays up.

“Eyes.” he snarls as he begins fucking you at a bruising pace. 

Everything about this situation is making you burn from the inside out. His firm grip on your hips and hair, the sound of the vanity knocking harshly into the wall, your own fucked out expression staring back through the jumpy mirror, it’s all making that white-hot coiled high ready to snap at any second. 

Your mind is melting, the only thing you know is Alhaitham and the feeling of his thick cockhead bullying your cervix. Through blurry vision, you watch his face and his reactions as he fucks you. 

How his sharp eyes are fixated on your face, drinking in every little expression and sound. How his jaw is clenched tight and his breathing is ragged and harsh. And how his eyebrows furrow and his eyes lose focus for just a split second when your hot walls constrict around his thick dick.  

“‘H-Haith..mmh!” you try to babble out a warning of your fast-approaching orgasm, but with the way your pussy has him in a vice grip, sucking him in and gushing around him, he already knew. 

He pulls your hair tighter, forcing your head up a little further to regain your attention. 

“Watch yourself cum.” he growls through gritted teeth, straining to starve off his peak just to watch you come undone first. 

The only thing you can do is mewl and try to nod as much as he would let you. 

The eye contact that you make with your fucked out self paired with Alhaitham’s overwhelming presence is enough to snap the coil that’s settled in your spine. You watched through fuzzy eyes as your electric orgasm ripped through you and consequently forces Alhaitham to follow.  

Pulling you flush against him so that the head of his cock is flush against your cervix, he spills everything deep inside of you with a guttural groan. Your pussy flutters around him, milking him for every drop almost painfully as he grows sensitive. 

Carefully, he slides out of your warm walls, messy globs of his cum drip out of you and splashes onto the hardwood floor beneath you. You slowly stand and lean against him, your head tucked into the side of his neck trying to catch your breath. “You’re not going to ask me to clean the floor with my mouth or something, are you?”

He lets out an airy laugh, “While a good idea for the future, I shall let you rest tonight.”

Moving from your spot in his neck to look at him through the mirror ready to retort, you grow speechless at his loving-filled gaze on you. 

“Should we go take a bath?” you quietly suggest, still unable to look away from him. 

You watch as Alhaitham closes his eyes, arms wrapped tightly across your middle, basking in your warmth. 

“In a minute,” he whispers.

[avonne-writes]

hm I think its very interesting that although u think buck bottoms more, they're still willing to switch (I really agree with this take and I actually think it makes the most sense). how do u think sex changes when who tops/bottoms changes and why do u think they each prefer both (basically what im saying is what is it about bottoming and topping that's each of their favourite parts)!

It's always interesting to talk about these intimacy headcanons! These can differ vastly based on how you interpret the characters, but this is my take on it.

Headcanons under the cut:

In general, how sex changes for them

If Bucky bottoms, it's rougher, which is what he wants. He knows he shouldn't be rough the other way around.

On normal days, regardless of who tops or bottoms, Gale helps calm Bucky's excitable energy. He's more in control of the situation.

On Gale's vulnerable days, he’s going to bottom and will put everything into Bucky's hands.

Buck's personal preferences

When he bottoms, it feels like an affirmation of trust to him, and it's something he likes to give to Bucky.

As a bottom, he likes not having to wonder if it's good enough because it's obvious from how hard Bucky is.

He likes the weight of Bucky's body on him, of Bucky manhandling him and holding him in the position they want. It makes him feel so safe and loved. Usually, he's still calling the shots but if he’s having one of those submissive nights all of this is amplified. (you will see in detail in the subspace fic)

This isn’t something conscious but he also just enjoys being given things, and yes, that includes a certain part of Bucky's body.

Finally, just something as simple as the physical sensation - he just loves that kind of deep, slowly building pleasure you get from prostate stimulation more than the faster but shallower sensation of topping.

Topping is nice too, and he especially likes how he can basically fuck the restlessness out of Bucky if he does it well.

That said, he’s flexible about top-bottom roles and quite inflexible about submission and dominance. He’ll keep the reins in his hands for the most part on normal days and submit completely on difficult days. By this I mean on normal days, he doesn’t mind or even likes that Bucky doesn’t submit to him and there's always this playful push back, but he won't relinquish the final say. He'll keep the control. But on submissive days, he doesn’t make any decisions and can’t be provoked to take back control. He'd just end the encounter if Bucky tried.

Obviously, his submission is a bit of a whiplash at first but it all starts to make sense to Bucky when he realizes it comes from a combination of deep trust + emotional distress + inability to articulate a need for comfort + inability to accept comfort unless he’s made to take it.

Bucky's personal preferences

It's likely that the only person he has ever bottomed for is Gale. Even if he had other sexual contact with men before, he’s too big and doesn’t have the personality to draw attention from tops. He was a womanizer too, so being on the receiving end is something way less familiar to him.

He loves bottoming the most when it hurts just right. He has masochistic tendencies so the pain of that stretch makes him rock hard. He always tries to goad or urge Gale into putting it in after only the slightest prep.

He also likes play-fighting and wrestling, and if Gale tops, he’ll constantly try to move and squirm and buck against him just to make Gale put him harder in his place. (He's a brat)

He prefers topping because of 1) the visuals(!!), 2) the sensations - yes, he prefers something tight squeezing around him to something hard pushing into him, 3) he loves giving things, including that certain body part 😉, 4) he loves the idea that he’s of service as a man.

He likes putting his entire body weight on Gale even in a non-sexual way, but even more so when they're making love. He had to be more careful with the women he slept with, but not with Gale.

Gale's submissive nights are a challenge to him but they’re also the most rewarding.

These are the headcanons that came to my mind at the moment but I feel like there are more things that can be said about this. What do you guys think?

[wolfertinger]

do u understand this at all? cuz i legit don’t 😭 idk if im dumb or not but it sounds so incoherent to me

this is from wis

“Yeah guys, i stole this guy's name and my whjole online presence is posting about his wrongs and accusing him of being friends with rapist!!!!!!!

the source: it's from a callout on a popular trans woman by her EX where they both were stoned out of our mind and i didn't fucking talk about any of this out of respect for both of them, but if you wanna fucking go there. The whole shit that they are bringing up is a callout campaign against a trans woman who has been basically threatened into harassing me and salem for months because the person who wolfertinger blog is pals with had all the vulnerable moments she ever said when they were dating, and basically held it against her entire time, and when they broke up the tgirl came to my fuckin dms really stressed out talking to me about it, hysterical and angry because nobody else was willing to talk to her, because when they broke up with wolfertinger's pals they were immediately accused of being an evil rapist and had a massive fucking blackmailing campaign and emotional abuse from her ex. Now i don't really know the details of what happened that night, as nobody really does because according to the tgirl's testimony she and my little stalker were both stoned out of their fucking mind, like she does not remember anything so i dont know what the fuck really happened. Anyways, fast forward the next month, helping that girl not to kill herself and to stay alive despite the abuse and threats and social murder that she faced, she had multiple suicide attempts, which these ghouls call "suibaiting" and it was VERY traumatizing for everybody involved. She did nothing more than say sorry over and over and over and when this didnt work she was so distressed with the idea of being a rapist that she wanted to take her own life MULTIPLE times, so yeah she was NOT exaggerating. When things cooled down a little bit, I asked the person accusing the tgirl of rape what happened, since the tgirl did not remember anything, because of the substance they both took, she told me her side and i agreed, that i can see why you think this is not okay and said "i wish she didnt do this to you but she did and i'm sorry" and essentially after this the tgirl got told we support her accuser's side or whatever and went off on me and left me alone, which is fine, she can be upset at me for this conversation, after everything she has been through. We have not talked since, but to say we are friends with a rapist is just fucking insane and dishonest, as usual and fact of the matter is, that the accusing person has been doing this kind of callout smear campaign to all of their exes which includes salem, telling everybody how abusive and how all their (almost entirely) trans partners were rapists and sexual predators, stirring shit up online. I don't know what to think, i wasn't there in the room, the testimonies are not clear, i don't understand either and i have been harassed by both parties for like 8 months at that point, so i wasn't entirely happy about all of this. And we weren't really friends prior. You make up your own conclusions, but i have no fucking idea. fact of the matter is, this suicidal trans girl has came into my life super suddenly, she has spent many nights crying to me and asking me to comfort her, and i wasn't aware of anything initially other than "oh my god another fucking callout on a trans woman by their TME ex" So i just fucking helped her, i was very traumatized by the whole situation and i would never really want to talk about any of this because the situation is traumatic and scary and real, and people were hurt and suffering. The trans girl has been getting messages like "kill yourself dumb tranny retard rapist" from her ex's cousin or nephew or something, she has been harassed in a very transmisogynist way, and i do hold a grudge over that, like even if the allegations are true, it doesn't make it any less transphobic to say that to someone. Either way, the whole situation was something i wanted to move away from and just move past because i do not want to think about any of it any more than i should, and these people are using just to fucking harass me for helping their victim and standing up for them.

Also the conversation i had with the tgirl's ex about what happened where i tried to be as respectful as it gets and tell them it's okay, you don't have to talk about it, i understand, they fuckin gave me everything and later used it in a callout to tell me how wrong and evil i am for doing this, and that just strikes me as a little odd. Like are you upset i asked about what happened from the alleged victim??? And you're calling me evil and spin out of context because i wrote a lot in those messages about how i feel and asking you to clarify? It's just very dishonest”

wow. wis is going mask off, because her lies, are being exposed.

wis. this tgirl, ADMITTED TO YOUR FACE THEY WERE A RAPIST. TO YOUR FACE.

and STILL, you believed them, over their victim. because, you did not like their victim. YOU are the dishonest one. YOU are the one, that continues to defend predators, crying when they suicide bait, helping them guilt trip their victims. then turning around, crying, and saying this rape and abuse victim, is actually evil, for not wanting to be around someone who defends their rapist and abusers.

be honest wis. you cannot prove any of your claims. because you know they are lies, to cover your own ass.

so again wis. why do you defend kiwifarmers? you claim they are, the ultimate evil. you defend TWO of them. you claim, to only want to support, vulnerable trans women. well. you are not. you are supporting ABUSERS. AND RAPISTS.

[xjulixred45x]

OKAY! I HAVE SUCCUMBED TO THE VOICES OF MY LATEST HYPERFIXATION: LEGO MONKEY KID! UNTIL I SATISFY THEM I WON'T BE ABLE TO WORK ON ANY REQUEST! Get ready for the most absurd rants you've ever heard about Jttw, lmk AND EPIC THE MUSICAL! YOU ARE WARNED!

I find it somewhat funny how the vast majority of adaptations of Sun Wukong leave out that the Monkey King HAD A WIFE. a fucking wife that he KIDNAPPED AND FORCED TO BECOME HIS BRIDE.

She literally appears singing about this :'D before Nezha and his father rescue her.

and while I was learning about this, I couldn't help but think about the songs from Calypso, from Epic: the Musical (another recent hyperfixation) and in some way relate it to Monkey Kid.

after all, LMK's Wukong knows that the things he did when he was young were QUESTIONABLE to say the least (he literally said it) and that he regrets many things, and I wondered what his dynamic would have been like in that case with Jiaozi (his "wife ").

and that is precisely why I relate it to Love in Paradise in a certain way.

Like, we know that this Wukong definitely had good intentions, which were initially driven by good reasons, but which became more and more selfish, so here perhaps he could have brought Jiaozi to Flower Fruit Mountain as a direct response to 1- monkey logic + 2- after his trip to the west he needed a way to deal with loneliness and 3- demonic courtship is WILD.

Anyway, I can see this more (ONLY IN LMK) as a response to mourning and handling loss (the Brotherhood? Macaque? is up to your interpretation) and that he really doesn't know how to manage/communicate his emotions in a healthy way.

Imagine being Jiaozi, being taken from your comfortable princess life overnight, waking up in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE with a monkey man who is too... friendly to be a kidnapper?

Like, lmk's Wukong acts just like Calypso, with a lot of familiarity, his normal confident post-trip to the West self, explains the situation to Jiaozi (but in a much friendlier way than it really is) and she's like "uh HELL NO" but there really isn't much to do against the literal Monkey King, THE SAGE, THE EQUAL TO HEAVEN, and poor Jiaozi is having a full-blown crisis while Wukong doesn't understand why she's so distraught, don't she understand him? They have everything they want and need in the mountains!

Ironically other texts also described Wukong as a "spoiling husband who gave a lot of clothes/food/things to his wife" and that was probably the route he took after the beginning, Wukong has a lot of trash, but he was more than willing to share with Jiaozi as long as she was happy, that she wanted him back...love him Back.

He JUST doesn't understand the seriousness of the matter that KIDNAPPING YOUR SPOUSE REALLY IS...until Nezha and His Father come along.

Now, I don't think Wukong is stupid even before that happens, he would see Jiaozi's clear anguish, her sadness, the desire to return to her old life with her family, and although he consoles her and such, he is having a crisis, This is supposed to be normal, right? So why does he feel so bad when he sees her so distressed?

The glass fills slowly but surely.

I don't think he was a bad husband Per se, like I said, he was very pampering and such (maybe even Jiaozi sees him in a certain positive light, even if not as a husband, because of his good deeds of the past), but he had a big problem with taking things too lightly and not dealing adequately with his emotions.

so when he receives the ultimatum from Nezha and company, he has a very Im not Sorry for Loving You moment.

in which he does just that, he explains to Jiaozi that he let her go with Nezha, that he regrets having made her go through all this just out of selfish fear, and he very much regrets not regretting loving her even so (many years of being alone screwed him up a little head, so this type of interaction definitely marked his isolation even more in the future).

Even if in lmk Jiaozi doesn't keep track of him or anything like that, she makes it clear to him that she couldn't love him the way he wants her to love him. and it hurts, but it hurts good. because he learns from it.

(PS, it would be quite ironical if this Jiaozi marry Nezha of all people lol)

waaaaaaa I just love finding parallels between my hyperfixations, I will soon publish another one, but it will be much fluffier and from this same fandom.

(the songs that give the idea)

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

[happyk44]

Since HPD isn't as well known as the others, I wanted to make a list of ways I think Piper would display it. I made a greater list with ways HPD could present in general, but I'm iffy on posting it because I don't have HPD so it's like 😬😬. I might post it later, we'll see.

Anyway! Piper!

Preoccupation with appearance is a criterion according to the DSM and a frequent symptom experienced. While I think Piper does pay more attention to her appearance than she believes she does, she does so in a way that people's first thought isn't "oh she's so pretty" or "oh she looks so strange/interesting". She puts a lot of effort into looking normal/boy-ish, which obviously makes her stand out compared to her siblings when at camp, but also makes her stand out in general public because she expressly denies femininity, wears a feather in her hair, oversized or ill-fitting clothing. I think she both thrifts and "shops" (steals) from expensive stores so her outfits have a mismatched element there as well.

It's supposed to prove that she doesn't care about looking pretty and therefore doesn't care about people paying her any mind, but they always do, and then she can feign annoyance or distress over people telling her she'd look so much better if she wore things that fit or had any cohesion to her choices, or even complimenting her on her eccentricity.

It's not a criterion but people with HPD have said that they tend to lie or exaggerate situations. In the early stages of her dad's career taking off and her refusal to acknowledge it, she probably started lying about what he did for a job when it came up or lying to sabotage his jobs because she was desperate for him to spend time with her like he used to. Maybe even lying to explain why she doesn't have a mom. It just gradually escalates from there until she's lying about things that don't even matter.

Breaking the law is also not a criterion and it's not something that's come up frequently in people discussing their live experiences BUT it is the primary way that Piper has sought out attention from her dad and I can't imagine that she manages to shake it off so easily. She steals, not always for the thrill of it, but in an obvious manner so she'll get caught. When she seeks novelty or excitement, she might steal less obviously. She gets frustrated when a cashier or clerk notices her stealing but doesn't care.

I do like her having shallow and shifting emotions, lacking depth in her feelings. Everything is so fleeting it would cause emotional whiplash in anyone else. She's good at disguising how she feels internally, but she still struggles with her emotions. One minute she's the happiest girl in the world, the next she's sad, the next she's angry, the next numb, then back to happy. It flashes through her like lightning.

It's kind of like standing in a puddle when everyone else is enjoying their own lake. They tell her to swim like they do and she can't because she just has this tiny puddle of glee. It's not deep enough to swim. So she just gets her feet wet and nothing else. Feels glee but it's so faint. So she jumps to the angry puddle, but it's just the same problem. She's learned how to fake swimming, and sometimes the puddles will become lakes, bur they shrink back to a puddle so fast it's almost like the lake never happened. Only the residue of water drying in her hair and on her clothes lets her know it was real.

Interpreting relationships as closer than they are is such a good one as well!

Jason: Not entirely her fault, Hera did mess with her memories, but instead of taking a step back and giving them both breathing room to truly get to know each other for reals this time, she stuck with the "he's my boyfriend, everyone else can fuck off" attitude, even though technically they'd never dated and weren't through TLH

Putting a claim on Jason and then dating him also provides her with attention because Jason is so perfect and everyone is jealous about it, as well as unintentional charmspeak making Jason ignore other girls. But then Jason moves back to Camp Jupiter while she stays at CHB and she starts to lose that jealousy from others, as well as the attention she needs from Jason himself, plus her own feelings regarding her sexuality, so oops, turns out I never loved you, it was all fake because of your step-mom, bye

Leo: She definitely thinks they're closer than they are. She thinks she knows everything about him, when the reality is she knows everything Leo wants people to know about him. He keeps everything private and personal and traumatic locked deep inside himself. She only knows the persona and never once questions that there may be more below the surface because she doesn't really need to know him fully to get attention from him.

Leo being her primary source of attention because others find him too annoying to tolerate so she's really his only friend (until Jason) is one of my favourite headcanons with this AU because Leo is not as social as he pretends to be and requires more space and time alone than she is willing to give, so she gets deeply frustrated about and bothers him constantly because, until camp, he's really the only one provides her with positive attention

Annabeth: Piper becoming quickly attached to Annabeth and thinking of them as best friends is a concept I really like. In BOO, I always found that one scene between the two of them very odd. Not necessarily because it wasn't a good scene, but because it made them appear much closer than I had thought they were. Annabeth is the only member of the seven that I see being actual friends with everyone of the ship, but I wouldn't necessarily think of her as being close to all of them.

Annabeth is eager to fix things and provide solutions, so Piper is able to overshare and rapidly talk about herself and her life. Under NPD!Annabeth, I think this works out in both their favours because Annabeth gets praise and admiration for her intelligence, and Piper gets attention and focus. With canon Annabeth, I think she'd get winded far too quickly because Piper puts a lot of emotional needs on her and it's a little overwhelming

People with HPD have also talked about validation and seeking approval from others. This kind of couples in with the suggestibility/easily influenced criterion. Piper will default to either the most popular choice or to the side of whoever she seeks most approval from. I like to imagine this as being Jason or Annabeth.

When they're on opposing sides, she will become nervous and afraid that the other will like her less for not choosing them so she exhibits fawning and/or people-pleasing behaviours towards them as sort of an apology and to also ensure they're still willing to pay attention to her.

If it seems they're not, she will start to crash and/or become much more clingy and dependent on the person she did choose, which can cause a sort of tonal whiplash because one minute she's apologetic and kind and the next she's ignoring you and rude.

I don't think this is so much as easily influenced on her behalf, so much as her lacking her own moral structure. She's focused on the present, what feels good in the moment. She might have stronger opinions in certain moral and ethical discussions and be willing to vocalize them even if they oppose everyone else's stance, but for the most part she lacks that development.

Like Percy, or even Clarisse, she relies on other people to define her morality, but where they are very stagnant in the people they've chosen to mimic, she's much more wishy-washy about it. If Jason expresses opinion A, she will express opinion A. But if Jason leaves and Annabeth expresses opinion B, she will express opinion B. If someone comes up to her and asks her for her opinion, she might be vague about it or assess the person and vocalize the opinion she believes they would most prefer. For Percy, it's more Sally has expressed opinion A, so Percy will typically always express opinion A, even if Annabeth or Grover express opinion B.

There's definitely stances Piper is firm on. But a lot of things, especially stuff she doesn't know, are much more vague. She's less willing to admit to disinterest, especially if it's something the other person is passionate about, because then they may not engage with her.

This isn't really HPD specific, but according to one study, it was found that two thirds (67%) of people with HPD also met the criteria for ASPD. Now ASPD has a low threshold to qualify (3/7 versus 5/8 for HPD), so there is that to consider. But I do like the idea that she does have noticeable traits of ASPD, even if she does not qualify, re: disregard for the law (the constant theft), lack of remorse/rationalizing mistreating other people ("people just like giving me stuff"), lying repeatedly for personal gain (attention).

I get that she didn't know she had charmspeak at the time, but given her intention was to steal the car for attention from her dad, I don't think the lack of knowledge about charmspeak matters. She knew the salesman would let her drive the car, even if she wasn't sure why, and even if he wasn't willing, she could've easily started damaging the cars and received the same outcome (police called, dad comes).

In summation:

Disregard for the law, often in obvious manners in order to get caught

Excessive focus on appearing "not like other girls" and unfeminine; drawing attention to her Native American ancestry, even though feathers in your hair is not commonplace

Pathological lying

Quick attachment to others; overestimating her closeness with people; disposing of people when they do not provide enough attention

Clinginess

Oversharing personal information

Constantly seeks approval from people she thinks highly of

Struggles with indecisiveness

Fluid/flexible opinions and moral code

Lack of remorse or guilt, even when the behaviour is detrimental to others; rationalizes harm or mistreatment of others, whether actions were intentional or not

Shallow expression of emotions

As always, if anyone reading this has HPD and their own ideas or thoughts on this headcanon, feel free to send me an ask about it.

[z-nightshade]

For Kim Dokja centered stuff

He and Vivi wouldn't get along very well I don't think. Kim Dokja thinks she's too naive and she thinks he's too uncaring. Their personalities clash uncomfortably is what I'm trying to say. It especially annoys Dokja when the running gag of the Strawhats coming across something dangerous and Vivi saying "oh, I should've told you earlier but..." Especially with that sacred catfish thingy...

This isn't to say that they don't like anything about each other. Vivi finds him too very reliable. And Kim Dokja, despite his dislike of her naivete admires how much hope she has. He also thinks that she'd be a great ya heroine.

Ace is a breath of fresh air. He isn't a child, he's very polite and respectful. A good role-model for Luffy (and Cass).

And then Dokja leads that Ace is on a one-man manhunt against his former brother who killed another one of his brothers. And his target is coincidentally the guy who absolutely trashed Drum Island. And with the way Cass is acting... Kim Dokja is oblivious, not stupid.

So when he does go on a deep dive of informing himself on who tf Marshall Teach even is, he falls down the rabbit hole of being the most informed about the world they're in.

He can understand having only one continent, but how the fuck do the Calm Belts even work? Why do the winds just stop? How does the planet regulate temperature between the Blues? Why the hell is the Red Line so tall?

And that's only the geographical stuff.

Like what the fuck do mean that the World Nobles own slaves?? What do you mean there is racism against fish people. And don't get him started on the whole "learning a(n ancient) language is illegal".

On the bright side, he now knows what an Emperor is and why specifically a betrayal against Whitebeard is straight up moronic.

Kim Dokja has some serious questions for this Blackbeard guy.

(Cass definitely reads through his notes and even helps with them to find a solution for Ace's death)

Kim Dokja thinks of Crocodile as a Scooby-Doo-esque villain. His plan would've worked if it wasn't for the trio and their meddling kids. He also voices that opinion, which definitely doesn't earn sympathy points from Vivi. Kim Dokja doesn't care all that much though. Kim Dokja was also one of those bullied for not being sentimental at Vivi remaining at Arabasta.

He likes Paulie... Until he calls Nami an immoral woman for wearing a skirt. And as for CP9... He's acutely aware. And they're not lying about the boat But hey, not his circus not his monkeys.

As for Franky, he doesn't hate or dislike him at first, even with the Usopp situation. Kim Dokja is acutely aware that it isn't personal and Franky really doesn't know about their situation. Later on when he actually meets Franky, he can't help but respect the guy who found a job and home for everyone who needed one, a guy who when faced with rock bottom, started climbing back up instead of digging deeper like Dokja did himself.

Sorry this took so long to answer. I was out and mobile wouldn't let me

Vivi and Dokja are on, like, the opposite sides of the empathy spectrum. And while I do believe the two would clash, I think Vivi would probably remind Dokja of Yoo Sangah on some level

The "I probably should have mentioned this..." things would be hella annoying

Ace is nice, though I'd be much more interested in Yoo Joonghyuk's reaction to meeting Ace given his opinion on what Cass is doing

This is also around the time he'd meet Sabo too!

Also, I cannot stress this enough. Cass is being so fucking obvious that something is going down with Ace. Frankly, if they could outright say Ace was going to die, they would. Just not in front of Luffy

One Piece is wack and Kim Dokja finally gets a taste of that. He and Cass can bond over plans and how batshit everything is

I would like to say, Cass takes advantage of their own emotional distress when Luffy gets dragged back into the desert to hug Dokja. He tries to pawn them off to Yoo Joonghyuk but they are insistent on hugging him in particular

Waters 7, Usopp crashout over the Merry and Ennis Lobby are going to be wild, especially with Cass and the disaster trio thrown in the mix

Also love Dokja's complete lack of care for anything that doesn't affect him

Mild spoilers for Waters 7 in An Oracle's Odyssey below the cut

So, Cass definitely tries to defuse the situation only to get lashed out at in turn

I won't say what Usopp says to them but it does cause them to shut down pretty much completely. And I mean that

(I will say what Usopp says has something to do with their knowledge and ability to do anything)

I can only imagine how Joonghyuk will take his children fighting or how the other two will deal with the emotional fallout

[pommunist]

Honestly, I've been very scared to keep posting about the situation, since I don't want people who follow me to think I'm ''too negative'' or judge me when I'm not remaining as positive as before, or to bring negative posts to dashes of people that I know are very stressed about this. And I appreciated before how you are a safe place for neg thoughts, so I'm here to vent a little bit if that's okay.

My experience since the reveal can be described as a rollercoaster that only has been going down.

I was incredibly stressed when Lèa revealed everything, but remained hopeful that things could change for the better. I had trust.

At first, the next few days after that, I thought the leaks of the changes made were odd since they looked like they lacked context, and the lack of context could lead to fandom outrage, which I was worried about at the time. Why was I worried? Well, I still had trust right things were in progress to be done. Looking back into that, while we got the context later on and it reassured me then, not jumping into immediate conclusions and waiting for more points of views was more my way of protecting my mind from spiraling further into distress, all while knowing full well that Lèa has only acted with the best intentions and none of this was in bad faith.

Then we get hit with this: Admin after admin are leaving, and it gets to the point that Lumi and Shade leave, because the communication never existed in that workplace and priorities were proved to be incredibly out of place. My trust was B R O K E N. And like I promised an anon back then, I finally allowed disappointment to sink in.

And why was my trust broken? Fun fact: When it matters to me, I have good memory, and I remember Q's statements. The words and the actions are not matching.

- He said that he was going to collect testimonies and investigate. Ah yes, the investigation tactic of not contacting anyone in the workplace and actually gathering their testimonies, I heard it's a good source of information to make important changing decisions /srcsm.

- He said the CCs were being updated about the changes. Then we see CCs saying they actually don't know shit going on bts except for a couple of general announcements.

And there may be other stuff that does not match, but those two are the most relevant to me right now.

Like, genuinely I didn't even care about whatever the fuck Q said after Lumi and Shade's statements, and any other post that tries to reassure the fanbase just feels like very hopeful thinking, that I used to have, but I DON'T anymore. It feels like false promises and looking for things that make sense, when, really, that shouldn't be our job. At this point I need tangible proof of improvement, not just words because these fucking words have proved to not be enough for me to believe whatever the fuck Q says it's being done.

I can't even trust fully that the merch money will actually go to payment for the remaining admins and compensation for the ones who left. That would be the best case scenario, but can I even TRUST this scenario to occur? Right now, no, I don't think so, I have not been given proof to trust this. And seeing any merch with Pomme, Dapper or Ramon in the Qsmp Awards just felt extremely wrong and I hated it.

When you are a Huevito, this has been wild: First, Artea leaves, and then, Shade reveals to us that Ramon's OG admin was fired around the time Artea took the role, while this entire time most of the Huevitos thought the OG admin was back around the last days of february. It feels worse when you can connect the dots about what happened with Ramon's OG admin, when we know that he was extremely busy with school last time we saw him, and we consider Lèa saying how management would fire you if you were not active enough...

Must clarify, all the love to BOTH Ramon's OG admin and Artea, they both killed it with the role, they are both wonderful people and I wish the best to them and the new Ramon admin that was with us at the beginning of march aswell. Also all the love to them. Must be hard to play a character that was played and developed by two different people before, and the effort is deeply appreciated.

I also feared to say the above since I was scared to spread misinformation somehow. But honestly, I'm trusting Shade's words, you know, the one who's best friend irl with Ramon's OG admin should know full well what they are talking about and the status of employment of said best friend.

And when you have been a ghostie for months since basically the beginning: This shit SUCKS and people are SO EXTREMELY VALID for being upset and grieving.

I think no company should ghost their employees even when they are ACTIVELY TRYING TO REACH OUT. Fucking paranoia of leaks ain't cutting it for me as an excuse for this mistreatment and I don't blame Lumi and Shade at all for taking the decision that was healthier for themselves after that. Just a ''we can't say much right now due to legal reasons, but we are still slowly working on it'', LITERALLY JUST THAT HAD TO BE SAID, WDYM NOT EVEN THAT.

The french community have every right to be angry after this. The CCs stated they were leaving if Lumi left, and that's an entire language going away from the server. Yeah, no shit they are upset.

And I want to just grab Bad by the shoulders and say YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PLAY ON THE SERVER IF YOU DON'T WANT TO, YOU ARE CLEARLY DISTRESSED, DO WHAT'S BEST FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH AND WELL BEING, WE UNDERSTAND.

Of course I want this to turn out for the best, like everyone. I believe the basis of this project was a wonderful idea, and I'm grateful for the positive things it had brought. But this shit is not being resolved the right way, as we could see. And with Q seemingly no understanding the underlying issue, then why would I remain as hopeful as before.

Another fun fact: When you break my trust, it's really fucking hard to gain it back or for that to happen in the first place, so.

I have stated that my hyperfixation to Qsmp has died out, since I decided to keep my distance in order to collect my thoughts, reflect, breathe and do what's best for myself. Nowadays I only would watch two specific CCs play, but if at some point they decide to leave, which I would not blame them if it reached that point, then that would be it for me. I would be done with it. I don't blame the people who also feel this way or the ones who think it is already over.

If I'm only staying here it's purely for love for this community. In the anniversary, I could not bring myself to say happy birthday to the Qsmp, I said happy birthday to Qsmpblr instead. I love the people I have met and interacted with here dearly. Even if our opinions don't match, because hope and trust have left me, the love is still there, you know?

That would be everything I wanted to get out of my chest, sorry for the big text and angry rambling. I would prefer to stay anonymous for this one. Take care, Pommunist.

Hey anon ! I don’t really know what to say in response to all this, just that I agree with most of what you just said here.

The feeling of being afraid that you’re being too negative too often ahah big same here ! I didn’t think my blog would turn into what it is when i made it, and I felt many time like I was bothering people with my frequent posts on the situation (I also know I’m not the best at tagging stuff I promise I try my best though !).

We have to remember that we aren’t being negative for fun or drama, we are just talking about a situation that is negative so of course this isn’t going to be fun and rainbows. And personally I’d rather do that than « faire l’autruche » as we say in french (Translation would be : to do the ostrich aka to put your head in the ground so you can ignore your problems), as it is too serious of an issue .

Also using your post to express my admiration and gratitude to Ramon’s OG admin and Artea because they both did an amazing job playing him and shaping him into the character we love so much (Our beautiful baby boy).

And yes, the community is great ! Even if you don’t feel like watching the server or at least less than before, we should still interact with the wonderful people thanks to it ! Also, keep sharing fanarts, fanfics, anything ! the artists are blessing us with wonderful art and stories they still deserve our support ! I understand people who do but we don’t have to stop talking about something we love altogether if we don’t want to, the things that made us like it are still here, at the end of the day we can keep that love at least.

My thoughts are so disjointed here anon I’m sorry but lots of love to you ! As someone who was hyper fixated on it too, the fall from grace was particularly painful, can relate 😣

I’ll reiterate that I don’t mind anons at all, you don’t have to justify yourself ! It just makes a bit sad the number of people who told me they didn’t feel like they could express their thoughts publicly.

Take care too ! ♥️

[gz-missfit]

So....Tazercraft again huh? /aff

I could go on for a bit about how Pac e Mike behaved during that kidnapping, how much their reactions spoke volumes about their trauma and how fucking good these 2 are at breaking people's hearts while teasing at this situation multiple times during the stream (also having heard some of their voice acting of a lot older videos just how fucking good Pac has gotten at acting like Jesus christ my heart). But I feel like a good amount of posts in the tags have summed up everything I would've wanted to say amazingly and I definitely recommend scrolling through them.

I wanna talk about something else tho. Richas. Moreso his relationship with Pac.

Richas has said before that Pac e Mike are his chill dads, the ones that have always let him get away with shit or encouraged his shenanigans but he still has always carried different relationships with each of them individually. He's a bit more distant from Mike due to the time where Mike isolated himself away from Richas in the fear of Richas loosing his last life because of him. Richas knows Mike is dangerous, he knows Mike's a bit unhinged and I'd like to think that unhinged almost destructive chaos is what Richas got from Mike. (Taking for example yesterday when he warned Bad that Mike is the one that can kill him) Richas knows Mike is smart and even tho he doesn't have the knowledge to talk with Mike about it he still relishes in the chaos his Dad Mike's ideas bring.

Now Richas relationship with Pac is what peaked my attention yesterday though and it showed me just how much of his emotional personality he got from Pac.

Starting with the obvious it's that Richas isn't often seen sad, he's not seen as a sad egg but rather a mischievous ball of positive social energy and that's how Pac is seen by anyone aside from Mike and nowadays Fit. Everyone sees Pac as this emotional ball of sunshine who's always happy if a little anxious, but both he and Richas hold their actual emotions close. They're rocks for others before they are people who let their own emotions out. Pac having always been the emotional rock for Mike while Richas has always been one for all his parents. It's fascinating to see how genuinely similar they are with this.

Which is why yesterday when Pac told Richas what had happened I feel like was the first time we saw Richas react to the news that one of his dad's got kidnapped again. Obviously he's bound to Crack at some point, he's a kid after all. But to have Richas be this clear about his emotional body language and distress is rare in terms of kidnapping. Seeing him physically recoil, frantically and in disbelief shake his head stung so much cause it's the first time we've seen Richas react this strongly to something like this infront of one of his parents. And I feel like it's because he has that more emotional relationship with Pac.

He let's himself be this openly emotionally vulnerable with Pac because he knows how Pac is. It's like how you have that one person you're not bothered to cry infront of because you know how they are when emotional and they know how you are. They're both people who are painfully aware of how many emotional burden they carry of other's just by being themselves and I feel like a big part of Richas view of Pac comes from that too! (Him saying to Bad that Pac is the most precious Brazilian and that Bad should be careful what he does to him) Richas knows how important Pacs emotional stability is to the people around him and how I feel like he himself takes after Pac a lot in just constantly pushing through things. Because that's what's Pac always done and Richas had to learn this from someone after all.

That's why the way that stream ended hurt me so much more, Richas coping mechanism after deep emotional trauma is just wanting to sleep. Pac actively said he wanted to do nothing but sleep now and Richas KNEW what that implied, he himself knows best what that out of Pacs mouth means because I'd like to think that that's what he learnt in the early days of the favela 5. That's how he learnt to deal with emotions because Pac had always been the one to be so open with his own to Richas. It's why Richas didn't stop him. It's why Richas just helped him get to his room and sat at his side while he played a melody in hopes that he'd ease some of the emotional pain his dad currently carried. Richas still ended up being the emotional rock in this, but his behavior with Pac was so much more emotionally charged yesterday. He was so much more vulnerable himself because he is so much more similar to Pac and actually seeing it this obvious was almost painful.

Richas and Pac are used to dealing with their emotions on their own so for Richas seeing Pac break this openly infront of him was distressing because he knows how much it takes for someone, who buries distress deep down so he can carry the weight of others peoples feelings, to break this upfront. To dump all his emotional pain onto someone and I feel like Richas was for the first time openly struggling to be a emotional rock until he gathered his bearings.

And I'd like to think that he slept alongside Pac for the same reasons yesterday, hoping that the dreams would take any tears away that were so close to falling while he was awake.

[niccho]

hihi! i’m jay i use she/they pronouns and i’m excited to plot with everyone! under the cut you can find some info about nic and below are the links to his stats and some plot bunnies (that will be added to eventually). smash that mf like button for me to slide into ur dms i promise i’m nice.

STATS - MEMORIES - PLOTS - PINTEREST - PLAYLIST

𝒊. 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕 —

nic arrived to ansong around a month ago as the seasons started to change, mostly confused, a little concerned.

he does not currently remember any of his memories but he refuses to take the ring he arrived with off. even when he's throwing clay, he wears the ring on a chain around his neck. he isn't sure why, but he just knows it's important to him.

when he spotted glaaze as he was exploring ansong, nic knew that was where he wanted to work, drawn to pottery in a way that he couldn't quite explain, but he finds himself to be a patient and excellent teacher (especially since he speaks both korean and english fluently)

he can normally be found at one of the sitting areas around the apartments with a cigarette, mirage, illusion, and very infrequently, divine.

𝒊𝒊. 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 —

nic is always conscious of other people, not in the way that he's concerned with what they think (most of the time) but more so in the way of if they're in need of assistance in one way or another. he's a "i can fix them" kind of guy and it's almost never romantic in intent. he collects people like stray animals and nurses them back to health. if at any point you look distressed where he can see, he will swoop in to try alleviate the situation. that being said, he does come off extremely flirty in some situations, and while he might have once meant it, these days he's flirting just to flirt. TW: SUBSTANCE ABUSE, DRUGS in life, nic abused substances in lieu of therapy (which he definitely needed, but that's neither here nor there) and in ansong he finds himself falling into the same habits. it's not uncommon for him to toke up in his apartment, or to be found outside with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. he's a frequent flyer to bars and nightclubs and always with a drink in hand. nic is incredibly emotionally intelligent (we get it, fix-it-felix) and while he's the first one to rush to someone's aid, he has no qualms fucking right off if someone sets a boundary with him. he's very respectful of people and their wishes and he doesn't want to intentionally upset anyone if he can help it. this means he tends to ignore his own problems, but that's his own business okay!!! tl;dr: nic loves u and he's a loser about it. but if you need a good smoke sesh or cigarette to calm down and to talk it out, he's your guy. just don't ask to fix his problems in return, he won't let you.

𝒊𝒊𝒊. 𝒑𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝒃𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒆𝒔 —

to preface everything below, i'm v v big on chemistry first. i love plotting, but it doesn't necessarily work if our characters don't have chemistry to begin with. i tend to lead with quick and fast plotting to see what we can get our characters to do and then we can go into more detailed plotting after, but i'm always willing to discuss things regardless!! TW: SUBSTANCE ABUSE, DRUGS

people interested in pottery (coworkers or people looking to learn!)

anyone entrenched in ansong nightlife (party people aye)

smoking buddies!! (nicotine AND thc)

people in need of a solid father figure to give them unconditional love (pls let nic adopt everyone thank u, he would be so happy)

honestly, literally anything else just shoot me a message and we can chat!!

[labyrinthofsphinx]

Statistical Outliers

Part 6 and 6.5 of drabble. Another long one, but chopping it up would've been weird.

“I don’t even like you right now.”

Vox had been laughing for far too long. This might be the most he’s laughed since Alastor had his ass handed to him by the angel prick. He finally found something that scares the kid, and all that was required was a little body mutilation.

The kid was currently rewiring the circuits into his new head, but he kept his gaze down the whole time. A deep scarlet of embarrassment was seeable even under his fluff.

“You, hahaha, you sound like a broken dog toy! Hahaha!” He hadn’t so much as screamed as he had made this high-pitched squeak of distress. Everything else was perfect, the horrified look, the freaking out, but that squeak ruined any of drama that Vox might’ve wanted to see. Now, he couldn’t help but think of the tossing the kid across the floor just to hear that stupid noise plink like a bouncy ball.

“I can’t help it! It’s a fox thing, I think.”

Oh, Vox knew that. Val squeaks too. His were subtler though, like a wet sneaker on a tile floor sound. Go figure, he had to go hell before he ever found out that moths and foxes apparently squeak. More news at eleven.

“God, that’s, hahaha, so pathetic. Haha!”

The kid rolled his eyes and went back to his work. Off to the side, Vox was making sure to record everything. While his body was still sitting down and hugging its sides, his face appeared across every screen that wasn’t currently being ripped open for repairs. He was keeping a close eye on the situation, I mean, it was his head after all. That and, if he saw how to do it, maybe he could attempt it by himself. Write some code for his body to follow, a series of pathways meant for this exact action. At least that way he wouldn’t have to rely on anyone to do this again.

Oh, the things he was going to do to his engineer later.

“Hey, um, do you know why there’s limiters on it?” He asked, bringing up a string of small black boxes he pulled from the backside.

Limiters? What hell was a limiter?

“Why? Something odd about it?”

“I mean, wasn’t the point of all these upgrades to give you more options? The limiters make it so there’s a cap on everything. The sound can’t get to max. The brightness can’t go above a certain degree. That sort of thing. Sometimes people use them when the system can’t take it, and it prevents burnout but…I mean this is as state of the art as possible. There’s no reason to have them here.”

Double dead, his engineer was double dead.

“If it doesn’t have to be there, no need to take up the space then.” He said, trying to be casual. The kid seemed to notice the twitching of his eyes though, so it’s not as if he couldn’t tell that he wasn’t…miffed by that.

The kid nodded in agreement and started unplugging them from the rest. About, the sharks had finished with their meal and were now lazily floating around. They always get like that after a large meal. One second, they were vicious man eaters, then next they were oversized house cats. For Vox, anyways. They hated just about everyone else.

“I like your sharks, by the way. Do they have names?”

“Anchor and Barge.” He said, his headless body pointing at the hammerhead and the tiger respectively. “They’d both eat you alive, you know.”

“After that meal? I don’t know. Sharks are pretty slow to digest things.”

True. Very true. He didn’t jump in there with them for obvious reasons, but he does find it easier for his aquarium workers to clean it up if they work right after breakfast or dinner…or one of them falls in around lunchtime and the rest wait until after the sharks were finished.

“So, you know about TVs and sharks. You’re a weird kid.”

“Yup.” He scanned his work, then stood up. “Okay, all done.”

What?

“All done?”

“Yup.”

“It’s been fifteen minutes.”

“I know.” He sighed. “Had to get all the limiters out. Sorry it took so long.”

It used to take all fucking day. He had to plan for months when he was going to do a big upgrade. He had to reschedule appointments, hold off on any later announcements, and god forbid Vel or Val have any minor inconvenience that day. It was a nightmare to deal with. The only reason he was fine with doing it today was because he literally hadn’t had a choice. He couldn’t exactly attend business meetings with half of a face. That said, he fully expected to be in cyberspace even longer since, you know, it wasn’t his technician doing it but a literal child. A smart child, granted, but still.

“So…how do I put it back on?” He threw his hands up. “And please try not to scare the hell outta me. A little warning first, maybe?”

He didn’t get it. His body stood up like the headless horseman and lifted his new head up over his shoulders. Cables, wires, and what amounts to veins and arteries in him now, climbed up through his neck and into the new set. Like a horde of sentient worms, they twisted and slid where they needed to. From the outside, it might look like he was being possessed. Or that Vox was secretly a bunch of leeches all working together to form some form of being. As the last wires connected, he jolted into the electrical stream. In the span of milliseconds, he crossed every pathway, checked every system, and detailed every change.

The kid did a good job. A great job, actually. Huh.

The so-called limiters being gone was interesting. He really hadn’t noticed them at all, but now, it was as if he’d had a cold all this time and only just got over it. Turns out, his speakers could get even louder, and the frequency can get to spectrums even dogs couldn’t hear. The brightness was also absurd. He often liked to see Val’s face turn to mush when he turns it up in the dead of night, a part of being a moth he’s never really gotten over. Now, he feels like he could probably blind someone like that, if he wanted to. Power output was also insane. He could kill with it before, sure, but he’s not sure he’s had the ability to bypass other functions, essentially just letting specific parts of himself be almost exclusively energy if need be. If he had, he’s surely never used it before, probably because he would’ve been running the risk of having everything that wasn’t energy accidentally fried from the overload.

“Okay, I know it’s all wires and stuff, but that was pretty gross.”

“You still own your soul, right?”

The kid paused.

“Um, yes?” He said, then quickly added. “It’s not for sale.”

Vox laughed, a little more sardonic this time.

“Everything is for sale. The question is just the price.”

With the snap of his fingers, the whole room lit up with possibility. He could have fame and fortune, the applause of all, his own show, his name reaching the farthest corners of hell. He could have comfort and a place of his own, something he wouldn’t have to share and somewhere to feel like home. He could have security and safety, never again having to worry about the frivolous battles and vicious monsters they live with down here. He could give him any toy he wanted. He could track down any family he might have down here. He could pull some strings and send him upstairs for a time.

All these things and more played across the room like collage of different endings, each sweet and inviting. He could be walking the red carpet. He could be playing video games in his own penthouse. He could be safe in the arms of his mother or his father or whoever else might be out there looking for him. And he could stay here, in Vee tower. He’d even let him sleep on the couch.

“See? I could give you everything. Anything. And what would it really cost you? You’d work for me. Not a bad deal, huh?”

He looked tempted, especially by the idea of family. His eyes lingered there longer than any other. Still, he sighed and offered Vox a somber look.

“That’s a very generous offer, but I’ll have to pass.”

“You sure that’s wise, kid?” Vox teased, slowly working his way around to his side. He skimmed a hand on his shoulder. “Think of what you’re missing out on! Take some advice from me, when opportunity knocks, seize it!”

He wasn’t paying attention to the kid’s hands. All his focus was on his face, that’s where weakness shows. He didn’t account for the strength of a hand. His little paw reached up and grabbed Vox’s claw. He pulled it down slightly, now just holding it. He almost swayed with it.

“You don’t owe me anything, you know. I don’t mind helping out my friends.”

The screens all blinked out at the same time.

“We are not friends.” He said, pointedly. “I don’t have friends.”

He can remember hearing that, seemingly ages ago, from someone he really thought was one. The kid held on just a tad tighter.

“What about Velvette and Valentino?”

“That’s entirely different.”

“Well, I’m might not be your friend, but you’re my friend.”

“I…I was literally going to kill you not, like, an hour ago!”

“Yeah, so? Husk stole all my money last week playing poker. Nifty stabbed me in hand, like, three times the week before.” He mentioned offhand, like any of that was normal. “I mean, Alastor tried to eat me the day before you grabbed me, I’m kind of used to-”

“He is not your friend!”

He’s not sure who was more surprised by the outburst, the kid or himself. His face glitched at the idea of Alastor and any concept of friendship. Really? Manipulating children? Is that what the great radio demon has been reduced to? Yeah, sure, Vox was offering to buy his soul off of him, but at least he intended on fulfilling his end of the bargain.

His hand gripped tighter, and his claw unintentionally dug into the kid’s palm.

“Kid, if you learn nothing else from any of this, I want you burn this into your skull: Alastor will always look out for himself first. He will lie, cheat, murder, or be the most charming person you’ve ever met, as long as it benefits him. Nothing he says is the truth. And he will play anyone against anything if he gets something out of it. If hell was burning down to the ground, he’d step over everyone to be king of the ashes.”

“I…I mean he is…creepy sometimes. I know he lies a lot.” He stuttered.

He grabbed him by his shoulders, forcing him to look him in the face.

“Trust your instincts.” The swirls of his hypnotic eye danced with focus. He hadn’t even done it on purpose. Any time the radio freak pops up, he tends to drown out other thoughts. Oddly, the kid’s attitude didn’t change. His smile was gone now, but he was still giving him that stupidly soft look.

“Where you two friends?”

The bitter truth tasted like bile on his tongue.

“Alastor doesn’t have friends, kid.”

He only had pawns. Allies, maybe. And ladders to higher power. Everyone else was a waste of time.

“Well, you’ve got one thing now that he doesn’t then.”

I…he…ugh.

“Oh, shut up, kid.”

…

It was little surprise to him that Velvette and Valentino were waiting in their lounge, not so subtly sitting around as if they had nothing else better to do. He knew they were lying around, hoping he’d come out. Val might want to continue their fight, or at least marvel in his small victory with Vox’s broken screen. Vel, he can only imagine, wants to see Vox’s reaction to her stupid little prank. The better the reaction, the better the video it would make.

Surprise to all! Voxtek now presenting ‘You fucked up!’: the show! Watch as two of hell’s strongest overlords sit there gaping like fish as Vox walked in, nothing but smiles and a clean screen!

The kid was quick on his heels, though he stopped a little short the minute he saw Val.

“Um, hey, Vee.” Velvette started. Her video was already rolling so she needed something for content. “You look good. Anything happen today?”

“Oh, worked on a few projects. Got some exciting things coming up for sure!” He offered a hand out towards Valentino. “Like Valentino’s new film. I’m sure he’s just about done shooting it. We’re all very excited by all the big promises you’ve made about the star quality.”

In truth, Val’s recent work was nowhere near done. He was always more interested in the actions on the screen than anything involved in actual screenplay. That’s part of the reason the scripts were always for shit. This particular project started off as more of a fever dream, and just started escalating from there. Vox knew, because of course he did, that Val was nearly out of time and also out of budget.

And he also knew who Val would go running to, to fix everything right before it gets released.

He took a big drag of smoke, and nearly choked on it.

“Uh…” Velvette almost looked apologetically at Val for turning the gun on him by accident. “I meant, did anything else happen today?”

Oh, he didn’t realize they were lining up for an execution today!

“Actually, yes! The strangest thing happened before!” He gently guided the kid forward. “I found this little guy all by himself, unattended! Who knows what could’ve happened to him if I’d not found him! Obviously, his owner was very negligent in his care. Now, I understand that she was very busy with so many important things to do today. Therefore, until she’s done with her little projects, I’ll take it upon myself to make sure he’s safe!”

Vel’s mouth dropped in silent agony. Careful dear, still being recorded.

Vox popped his bowtie, his collar flaring open and exposing his neckline. He slowly dragged his jacket off and tossed it over his arm. Val’s eyes dragged across his chest the whole time. He’s pretty sure he actually ate some of the cigarette.

“Well, I don’t know about you two, but I’ve had a very exciting day. I think I’ll turn in for the night.”

“W-what about food?” Vel said suddenly, grasping for a reason for him to stay.

“Tell my secretary that I’ll be ordering in tonight. I’m thinking Chinese.” He started to walk towards his room. The kid had enough sense to follow without argument, though he seemed less confident with Vox’s co-workers burning their gazes into their backs.

Val didn’t get his argument, his trophy shot, or his makeup sex. He was going to be angry and alone tonight. Vel didn’t get her candid shot of Vox’s embarrassment, instead making her come across like a joke. He didn’t expect her to post that video, if only to save face.

When the door to his room closed, he only just kept from laughing.

“Aren’t they going to be mad tomorrow?” The kid asked. He stepped into the room with uncertainty, like he was afraid to disturb the space.

Vox’s room, like his workspace, was pretty sterile looking, almost futuristically modern in design. He tossed the jacket into a side pocket on the wall. From there, his machines would wash it, press it, and hang it back up in his closet. A flick of the wrist, and the suite came to life with lights, stripes of neon blue that pulsed about. The hidden fireplace rose up from the floor, turning on with a hiss of gas. Off to the side, he could hear his bathtub prepping itself, turning on the warm water after an appropriate amount of fragrances were added to the mix.

He always thought it was a little silly of Val, constantly having his personal servants running around and doing everything for him like that. In the age of the electronic servant, why would you ever leave anything up to a human unless you had to? It was so much more trouble.

“They’ll be mad.” Vox confirmed with a nod.

“Isn’t that bad?”

He gave a quick turn, just so the kid could see the utter delight on his face.

“It’s only bad if you don’t know how to use it. And, trust me, I’ve lived with these two for more than long enough to navigate just about any thought in their heads. You’ll come to find that they’re dreadfully predictable when they’re angry.”

“Oh. Okay. I guess.” He muttered. “Are…are we still getting Chinese?”

Vox brought up the menu on his phone and let him shift through it. He already knew what he wanted anyway. He gave a quick point over to another setup of monitors, all of them hooked up for voice commands.

“Tell the computer what you want. It already has my order pre-programed. It’ll send a text to my secretary, and she’ll handle the rest. Just answer the door when she knocks. I’m taking a bath.”

With that, he left him to his own devices.

His bathroom smelled of sea salt and ocean breeze. Just opening the door made him almost nostalgic about his mortal days of summer, out on the end of the island. The tub was less of a tub and almost like a small swimming pool. Up above it, the ceiling was fitted to allow it to become a shower at any time. He didn’t often take showers, on account of his head being, you know, a TV, but he did like the kinetic energy it gave the room anyways. It felt a bit like he controlled the weather too.

He stepped down into the water and turned on the jets.

Oh, he needed this. Today might’ve started off like shit, but it was ending out on a high note.

Now then, the plan for tomorrow. Though he’s rested his body, letting the whirling water pull the knots from his muscles and batter down sore spots to the point of pleasure, his mind kept running. It was kinda a curse really. He never fully relaxed ever.

The miniature aquarium he had there, a circulating one of moon jellies, caught his eyes’ attention while his brain rambled on and his body unwound.

Aside from Vel and Val issues, he had one other major concern. The kid still wasn’t under contract. He tried tempting with sugar. That hadn’t worked. Close, but no cigar. That meant that, tomorrow, he was going to have to try the other way. Weirdly enough, he was actually, truly dreading it.

Not only was the kid hard to scare in general, apparently, but Vox kept feeling a little sick thinking about that broken cry, asking him if he was okay.

He seemed to care significantly less about his own, personal safety than he did for…his friends. And, unfortunately, Vox currently only had one of those on hand for use…aside from himself, he’d suppose. How would one threaten themselves anyways? Note to self, look into that. For now though, Angel was going to have to do, wasn’t he?

Ugh. This was going to suck. Buck up, Vox. You do what you have to do, nothing less.

His cameras informed him that his secretary just dropped off the food. She was a little gob smacked to be opening the door to the kid. Her shirt was opened three buttons more than appropriate, and her skirt about six inches too short. When the kid showed up in his place, she looked like she wanted to melt into the floor.

Food was calling. Time to get out.

Thankfully, his machines had a new warm robe ready for him. Val keeps stealing them and not giving them back. It’s probably because he makes sure they’re pre-heated before tossing them on, like fresh clothing from the drier.

He stepped out to find that his food was already put together for him, plate, silverware, and fortune cookie to boot. He wasn’t about to bet on who set that up, his secretary or the kid.

To his surprise, instead of finding him where he expected, over by the TV, he found him sitting and admiring the view from the broad, curved windows.

“Wow, you can see everything from up here.”

Vox grabbed his food and joined him, more out of curiosity than anything else.

“Well, I designed it like that.” He mentioned. “To be fair, I designed most of these buildings on this side of the pentagram.”

The skyrises made it feel more like home, if he were honest, which he never was.

“That’s…actually really cool. I’m lucky if I can get a card tower up.” Then, he spotted something familiar. “Hey! You can see the hotel from here!”

Sure, he supposed. He gets a better view from his drones. Speaking of, it seemed like they hadn’t had any more luck today than they had the last couple of days. The princess was in literal tears, both her girlfriend and her father trading off between comforting her. Angel Dust only just got back, his driver dropping him off not a moment ago. Vox didn’t need to turn up the audio to know that they were asking if he’d gotten anything useful today. The answer was no, obviously.

These people cared about him. They were distraught and desperate and thinking the absolute worst must’ve happened. There was a very, very small part of him that almost pitied that.

Then, a little anger bubbled up from nowhere. Why the fuck did you let him go alone? Not fucking one of you could’ve gone with him? Like, yeah, the worst did happen, but could you imagine if it was worse than that? Vox was bad news, obviously. But…so there so many worse things that could’ve happened.

That made feel gross, like the bath didn’t matter. Then he got mad because why did he feel gross? Then, he felt worse because why did even question why he felt gross? Then-!

“My fortune cookie insulted me.”

Oh, thank god. That rabbit hole was one he wasn’t going to crawl out of otherwise.

“What?”

“It says ‘Your life is a blockbuster of bad luck. Enjoy the Oscar’.”

“That is the best fortune cookie I’ve ever heard.” He might’ve wheezed, probably swallowed a chicken bone while he was at it.

“What does yours say?”

He didn’t actually eat the cookie. Most of the time he threw them away. He made his own luck but, well, when in Rome.

He unfurled the sheet of paper and began to recite it.

“‘Everyone you’ve ever stalked online had just been notified’.”

There was good pause, before they both started rolling. The kid coughed on his water, spewing out like a vaporizer. Vox tickled himself enough to accidentally pop a laugh track from his mix.

“Who makes these?” Vox rasped. “I need to get some for those two outside, hahaha!”

Memo from Vox to Vox, always order from that Chinese food place whenever he needs to lighten the mood.

They polished off the rest of their meal shortly, but they still caught themselves looking out the window. The embassy tower seemed so out of place now, sand dripping down to nothing, and a clock that didn’t keep time.

“It still feels weird that its over.” The kid said.

“Yeah.” He pointed at the building. “We should melt it down and turn it into a giant sign that says ‘Fuck you’ so they can read it from up there.”

“You know, I think Lucifer said something similar.”

Well, he now knew more about the king of hell than he thought he would. Great minds think alike and all that.

“Did you guys just hang out up here when it happened?” He asked.

“You mean extermination day? Yeah, of course. I’ve got every security feature in the world in this building. The place is basically a bunker when it has to be. It was just easier for those feathered freaks to go hunting for the easier prey on the streets.”

He shrunk, disheartened by something or another.

“Yeah, it was pretty scary out there.”

…hold on.

“Wait, you were out there? Like, on the streets? On extermination day? Are you stupid?”

“I didn’t really have a choice.” He argued back, ears flicked against his head. “I didn’t have anywhere to live back then so-”

“You…you lived on the street?” In Hell? That was-! I mean-! Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding!

He pointed down at a line of buildings you could just barely see. That part of town was all very old stores, secondhand electronics, and pawnshops. It was barely lit, and almost dilapidated. Last time there was a hellquake, two of the buildings collapsed in on themselves.

“Over there, next to that pawnshop with the ring on it, is a store that resells electronics. Most of the TVs are really old and not hooked up to the new system. The owner plays a lot of re-runs on them though, so people know they work. I used to live in the alleyway right next to it. The TV boxes were a lot thicker than the other boxes, you know?”

He didn’t know. He didn’t want to know.

“What did you do when they came in to slaughter everyone? Hide and hope they don’t find you?” His voice jumped up an octave.

“Yeah, basically. Or run. Also, I’m kinda of small, much smaller than they are so I could sneak into the pipes if I climbed down into the sewer. ‘Course then you gotta worry about gators, but at least when they get you, you’re not dead dead. Just the usual dead.”

“…why did you say it like that?”

“I mean, unless it’s cause of an angel, we don’t really die down here. It just…hurts, and you show up again sometime later…which also kinda hurts.”

It’s not ‘kinda hurts’. It’s excruciating. It’s akin to torture. That’s why it’s still a big freaking deal, and why people still don’t want to die down here.

“Did you-! Holy shit, do you die a lot?”

“Uh, I used to. Not so much anymore. When I first got dropped down here, there were guys who found me and made a game of hunting me down with their hellhound friends. I think they were British, but I’m not sure. They used to get me a lot. Then there were the usual crazies running around, that sort of thing. But I’ve been doing pretty good these past couple of years. I think years. Man, my idea of time is gonna get so bad without extermination day keeping me straight.”

“You’re twelve right?”

“Yup, or thirteen. I forget.”

“How long have you been down here?”

He thought for a second.

“Since the 90s, but I forget the year…Vox? You okay? Your screen’s bugging out. Everything feel okay with the circuits?”

30 years! A twelve year old in Hell for 30 years!

“Um, Vox. I-I don’t think your face should be doing that-”

Are they deranged? What the fuck!

“Are they crazy? What manic torments a fucking kid for 30 years?” It’s too bad he just replaced his face. He felt like he might need a new one in short order. “And you! You just let it happen? Put up a fucking fight!”

He just stared.

“I…I am four foot nothing. I am fuzzy, with very tiny teeth and paws. I don’t have electricity powers or evil shadows or extra arms or anything. I just fix things. I’m good with cars. That’s…that’s all I have. I don’t think someone like me was meant to thrive down here.”

“How do you still have your soul? Why do you still have your soul? You could’ve soul it! Gotten something for yourself, anything!”

“What good would that have done?”

“A job. A place to sleep. I don’t know, kid. I offered a lot.”

“Yeah but…most of Hell owes their soul to somebody. They didn’t seem any happier than me.”

God, this kid.

“You know, part of being down here is indulging in the worst parts of yourself.” He explained like he would explain to someone who was braindead. “That includes getting mean, and even selling your soul.”

“So…what? I’m already down here so it’s not worth it trying to be nice or better?”

“Exactly!”

“That’s silly.”

Holy shit, he was just as bad as Lucifer’s brat.

“Don’t tell me you actually believe in this redemption bullshit. Please don’t tell me you let all this crap happen to you because you think you had a shot at getting into that fuzzy place.”

Blood trickled down from his mouth. Vox hadn’t even realized he’d stressed the kid out enough to bite down on his lip.

“Don’t tell Charlie.” He pleaded. “Please?”

“…Don’t tell Charlie what?”

“I…I’m not sure I believe it. On one hand, I kinda hope you can, but on the other hand…then…me being here isn’t a mistake. And I don’t know what else I’m doing wrong.” He gulped some air. “I joined the hotel because…even if we can’t get into heaven that doesn’t hell has to be that bad. If Hell really was a hell, it’d so much worse than this, right?”

For once, Vox heard something he could agree with. Hell sucked. No denying that. But…he’s lived through so much worse than this. As Alastor had once said, hell was what you made of it. And Vox chose to be on top.

This kid though? He shouldn’t have any hope left. He would call him delusional except…he was a kid. He was always going to be a kid. He’s never going to understand. He can’t.

He was robbed of his life. Thrown to wolves in his afterlife. And all he thought about was learning to be nicer to people. Because that might change something.

“That,” He said finally. “is a great way to get yourself killed. Try to be kind to the literal worst of humankind.”

“I’ve survived so far.” He smiled again, through a bloody grin. “I’m a kid, but I’m not stupid. I’m not about to go hug Jeffrey Dahmer.”

“You’ve all but hugged me.”

To that, the kid just beamed.

Well, he’s not Dahmer. That’s for sure.

You know, that’s more than enough emotional damage for today.

“Okay, time for bed.” He stood up. Over by his dresser, he tossed on his comfier set of pajamas. He grabbed a big shirt of his and tossed it over. The kid leapt up pretty high, catching and tossing it on before he even hit the ground. Agile little thing.

He all but collapsed into bed. The silk sheets felt so nice and smooth. He never loved his mattress more than when he’s been away from it too long. But, the second he settled in, he caught sight of the kid curled up on the floor by the window. Vox didn’t have much in the way of rugs or carpeting. He knew the floor was cold and…well…now with the mental image of the street…

“God fucking damnit.”

Reluctantly, he got back up. He walked over, picked the kid up like you would a cat, then brought him back to the bed. He sat him at the foot of it, where Vox’s feet would be in a second, and he tossed him a spare blanket.

“You stay there. Don’t even think of crawling in next to me because that’s Val’s side of the bed and lord knows what you’ll catch from being there.”

With that, Vox called it a day. He dragged his wayward mind back to the items on the list for tomorrow: Velvette’s punishment, Valentino’s anger management, and the Val and Angel deal to name a few things. Also, track down that technician of his because he’s going to need to fry something after today.

His dreams got the better of him about halfway through the night, thinking of things that never wanted to crawl out of his head. Alastor’s mocking smile bearing down on him. Oh, stupid Vox. Don’t get attached now. Remember what I said about weakness?

His eye flicked open, only for a moment, when a wet nose touched his hand. The kid was still on top of his blanket, but he’d crawled up enough to let Vox’s fingers thread through the top of his head. He probably saw something on the screen that bothered him.

Whatever. He wasn’t awake enough to yell.

So, he went back to sleep. And when Alastor tried to tease him again, he told him to fuck off. You’re just jealous because you don’t have one. Go die alone, you crazy shadow freak.

And he did, because dreams could be really sweet sometimes.

Part 1/ Part 2/ Part 3/ Part 4/ Part 5/ Part 6/ Part 7/ Part 8/ Part 9/ Part 10