#why did I spent hours on quotes?
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Not me having the first 20 arcs memorized
#naruto#anime fan#why did I spent hours on quotes?#QUITEV WHYYYYY#wwyff#straight me was a monster#fanfics#y/n#I had issues#okay???
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Every new thing I learn about James Somerton's process just drives home how he almost (but really doesn't) knows what he's doing. Yes, of course you use the sources you read as a jumping off point. Of course you copy and paste the important sections into your outline document so you can reread them. That's why you put them in quotation marks.
#James Somerton#honesty time: I totally believe he did this by accident#his entire problem is that he writes like a fandom account with bad takes#his anecdotal evidence that Todd in the Shadows spent a two hour video trying to find sources for?#they're all fandom drama taken out of their cultural context#(yes fandom counts as a subculture and therefore has specific context)#and all of it gets attributed to straight white women coz everyone knows shippers are all straight and cis women /s#he simultaneously treats his videos like bad fandom meta and Documentaries of Great Importance and those just do not mesh#it's part of why his videos were so unbearable if you actually knew what he was talking about#he learned how to make a youtube video essay. He did not learn how to write or study any of his chosen subject matter#I think that's also why he was not expecting to be called out the way he has because I suspect he probably thought everyone wrote this way#a lot of old video essayists especially the Chez Apocalypse bunch were very good at not broadcasting just how much went into their videos#so their style that has now become the norm feels incredibly off the cuff but is heavily researched#but also they are using that research to support their own hypotheses and ideas as you are supposed to#so I wonder if when he got called out he just brushed it off because surely he just writes the same way everyone writes#(and hey fandom posts are rarely cited because they assume everyone knows what they are talking about)#it almost makes me feel sorry for him but all I can think about is how catstrophically bad he is at this job#oh and for everyone wondering: I've found the best way to research is to put quotes in quotation marks#paraphrasing in either different punctuating or a different colour#and your own personal thoughts based on the source in something different again#all with the correct citations for your preferred style#this makes sure you have everything cited so when you put it all together you can do it easily without having to go back through it all#and prevents this from happening#(tbh I'm kinda sad I'm not still teaching. This would have been a perfect meme for how to do your damn citations week)
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The message the writers of FF7 were clearly trying to get across: Look at how perfect Cloud and Tifa are for each other, look how we definitely intend for them to be the couple you root for *thinks about that interview I read where they talked about how they originally were gonna have a scene that heavily implied they fucked* The message I actually received after playing FF7: Jesus CHRIST thinking about romance when the world is ending is BAD, both options for Cloud are bad ideas! He needs to be left alone and maybe go on a beach vacation
#I just spent half an hour looking for a specific quote from tifa and discovered literally all of the shit the writers of that game have said#and like its abundantly clear that they think that cloud and tifa are soulmates and like. sure.#but also. did they play the game they wrote or?#the cloud and tifa were supposed to fuck in the chocobo stable interview bit I read was a lot like why do that to them#also the fact that cloud can end up golden saucer dating with yuffie is kind of hilarious but also evil#playing this game is like huffing straight heterosexuality at points
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How'd it take you five hours when all you changed are the pictures and texts, pfp and header.
I JUST POSTED THAT. HOW'D YOU EVEN. BRO.
#first of all GRADIENT TEXT. GRADIENT THE GRADIENT. THE.#i keot messing up making them#and was so confused#and i was also so indecisive abt which colour i should make then#them“#and then it took a lot ot time to find the right pictures n headers#i had to dig deep into tumblr n’ pinterest#for the laws quote’s/texts i had to search them up n’ i keot getting different results until i finally got what i wanted#& pfp i already had it saved! 🤓#they didn’t really ask what i did or why i spent hours but i had to the NEED to say it.#[ evelyn’s anons !]#evelyn.txt
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Out of Context Quotes from a Power Ranger's Horror TTRPG
Yes, you read that correctly. I joined a FATE Accelerated TTRPG, where the campaign premise is "Power Rangers, but Real Consequences".
"No Types of Butler Uniform are Pink with Gold Etching" - Evil DM
"She's not stronger than she is pretty… but she is really damn pretty." - Evil DM
"It's Morphing Time.. I guess." - the (now) Orange Ranger
"YOU HIT ME? I'm going to MURDER you!" - The Villain (Evil DM)
"Kinda a disproportionate response…" - Blue Ranger
"It's kinda like a pointy crutch attached to your face" - Evil DM
"God, are there ever days when you decide to stop being a bitch?" - The Pink Swan Ranger - Me "Yes, the days when you decide to kneel at my feet." - The Villain
"Ok, spend one from your Pool of Mysterious Consequences." - Evil DM
"When I told you to take the stick out of your ass, I didn't mean for you to beat me with it!" - Pink Swan "… Congratulations, you have reached Minor Annoyance status." - Villain (Evil GM) "…that doesn't need to go on the Quote Board." - Evil DM
"I am strong I am tough i am CRYING." - Pink Ranger
Player 3: "AAAAUUUUGGH" Evil DM: "That is an accurate statement."
"I would say my snarking worked to our advantage, because although I have shards of helmet in my face, it allowed you to get the drop on her." - Pink Swan Ranger We're bird-themed power rangers. One of them is Hummingbird themed. "Do I hum when I fly" was misheard as "am I hung when I fly" by the Evil DM.
#dnd quotes#power rangers ttrpg#ttrpg quotes#humor#we sadly had to correct the DM as we did not want to know the lore reasons for why the Rangers uniforms aren't packing a bulge#but there was much wait WHAT did you THINK they said???#my in-game shit talking straight up earned me a Vicious Mockery stunt#Assigned bard at combat#I swear we spent at least 40 minutes of that 2 and a half hour campaign laughing our asses off
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Hi so I have a couple ideas for your drabble! Reader and Cassian trying to hide the black eye Cass accidentally gave her during training from Azriel or Azriel being jealous of the readers book boyfriend(s)
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Word count: ~700
Warnings: Injury
a/n: Yayy this was so cute and fun to write :) I did your first idea!
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“Holy shit, I’m dead,” Cassian cursed, his hand resting on your back as you hunched over in the training ring. “Shit, shit, shit.”
You groaned, holding your hand up to your eye in a futile attempt to relieve some of the pain. “I’m fine by the way,” you grumbled, slowly rising to catch the panicked gaze of your friend. “It’s fine, Cass. It’ll be nothing in a day or so.”
“Y/n, you’ve been mated for a month.”
His elbow to your head must have made you delirious. You furrowed your brows and immediately regretted the action. “Yes?”
“Y/n,” Cassian repeated. “A month. 30 days. Azriel is going to pummel me into the ground when he sees you. You already have a bruise forming.”
“He won't!” you brushed him off, rising on shaking legs. “He was the one to suggest that I train with you. Getting black eyes comes with the territory. It’s like a battle scar. Very impressive.”
The General bent down to inspect your eye further, his expression pinched in worry. “Gods, I did a number on you. I’m sorry. Azriel is going to kill me.”
You sighed, the pity within you growing greater than the pain. “Well, then Azriel won’t find out, will he?”
~~
Your plan was not going well.
You’d ignored every call down the bond and spent most of the day in the library. But then you realized the library had many dark crevices where shadows could linger and give away your secrets, so then you spent the rest of the day in a park. In direct sunlight.
The longer you spent away from Azriel, the faster your eye could heal. You’d just glamour it, but that would most certainly be worse. Azriel could scent a glamour from a mile away, and then he’d be more angry at the lie.
If you rode out the rest of the day, alone and dismissing every call from your mate, things would go more smoothly. At least that’s what you told yourself as you slammed a sturdy wall down in response to your mate’s gentle tug at the bond.
Poor Cassian, with his rough and tumble face all sad and worried.
You had to hide this for him.
“So you’ve been avoiding me in favor of sunbathing?”
A screech left your lips involuntarily at the sound of the Shadowsinger materialzing at your side. You quickly rolled over on the blanket you’d called home for the past few hours, burying your face in your arm.
That was a completely normal response.
“Um, hi,” you greeted, words muffled in your elbow. “I was just taking the day.”
“Taking the day?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
You felt a shadow overtaking your body, the Illyrian closing in on you. “Odd, considering you told me the list of things you had planned today just this morning. None of which included sunbathing in a park. Or avoiding me.”
“I’m not avoiding you!” you stressed.
This looked ridiculous, you were sure.
The sound of leather bending met your ears, and scarred hands lingered on your arm. “Are you okay?”
To quote a close friend—shit.
You couldn’t continue to hide when he sounded like that—all sweet and concerned.
You needed to get your emotions in check.
“I’m okay,” you mumbled, but speaking the words into your blanket felt so insincere.
You had to stay strong.
“Are you angry with me?”
Your resolve didn’t just crack. It was decimated and then ground into dust on the ground. Azriel ran a hand from your arm up to the back of your head and you were a goner.
“You have to promise not to get mad, okay?” you almost whined, guilt eating away at you.
“Why would I be mad, angel?” Azriel posed, clear confusion lacing his tone.
“Just—promise.”
A beat of silence. The hand on your head tucked your hair behind your ear, but you refused to move until his confirmation came.
“Okay, I promise.”
You slid your face out from the crook of your elbow, wincing in anticipation as your eyes adjusted to the light and Azriel’s expression went from one of confusion, to panic, to rage.
“Who—” he began, but you sat up quickly and rushed your own explanation.
“It was an accident!”
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On a seemingly random Tuesday night, a few members of the Bat Family are free to spend dinner at the manner.
Jason was benched by his fellow Outlaws for a nasty hit to his chest and got tired of Biz’s worrying even if it was appreciated at first.
Dick had been taking a small break after a particularly bad case with work that involved some hurt children and wanted to be back home.
Damian had only ever made threats to move about but the newley eighteen year old was still at home.
Tim had been using his free time while Kon and Cassie visited their families to visit his own while Bart and Barry dragged Wally on a bonding trip. The poor West boy had to miss out a concert of some sort.
Stephanie, Duke and Cass were all busy with a case and had pleaded with Bruce to take some time off because he was, quote, “Broodier than Hamlet”. He eventually relented when Barbie and Kate promised to keep an eye on them.
The group had decided to watch a movie instead of playing games, mainly because not games were banned, and settled on something that Tim paid no mind to.
The problem came that it was cold out and everyone insisted on having the fire as hot as it could go, but Tim naturally ran hot. Jason and Damian tended to get the coldest and while only Jason would complain, Damian could and would set anything he wanted on fire to get warm.
So, Tim didn’t complain and just said he was going to get changed.
He spent at least half an hour on one of the arm chairs by himself with his tablet playing RuneScape, when Dick inhaled so quickly everyone heard it.
Tim assumed it was something to do with the movie and didn’t turn, tapping away at his screen, completely ignorant to Dick’s quickly forming tears.
It was when Bruce also made a noise, this time a poorly pronounced ‘oh’ that he turned around, assuming it had to be a truely grand thing for Bruce to react so openly in the movie.
Instead he finds his foster father and brothers staring at him.
More specifically, his thighs.
Tim hadn’t realised his shorts would ride up and stop covering him to just above his knee and show the hundreds of scars littered over the outside and inside of his pale skin. They were mostly faded, but with the width of some of them they were always going to be visible, especially with the sheer amount.
Pulling his pant leg down, Tim doesn’t bother to hide a sympathetic wince and says, “Sorry, didn’t meant to show them. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”
He looks away again, assuming that was that and trying to remind himself that it wasn’t his fault that people were upset by his scars, just like Black Canary told him.
Instead he hears a sob and turns back to find Bruce holding Dicks hand as his oldest brother sobs into his hand. He sees that Jason is seemingly fighting to not match him even with his wide eyes and Damian is staring at him with confusion.
Realisation finds Tim quickly, which makes sense considering he’s supposed to be the ‘smart Robin’.
“You didn’t know…”
Dick stands up, dropping Bruce’s hand and comes to kneel before Tim, holding onto his own hands like some kind of follower to a god, “Why? I- I don’t- why?”
The desperation in his voice makes Tim feel sick, and he looks around at the others for help because surely he had talked to at least one of them about it? He had been open with his friends, and he hadn’t exactly kept it a secret, but he did avoid showing them…
Tim moves to hold onto Dick in return, “I’m sorry, I thought you guys knew-… okay, look, I’ve got a two year clean streak and I’m in therapy, okay? I’m so sorry Dick, I just assumed you knew cause I use the shower in the cave with you guys and… I’m so sorry.”
There’s a silence for a moment as Dick drags him into his arms and squeezes him as tightly as he can, not even being careful like he usually would.
“I don’t understand.”
Damian’s voice sounds uncharacteristic in how small it is. He’s staring at Tim’s legs like he might be able to catch a glimpse of the scars in genuine confusion.
Bruce seemingly can’t speak and so Jason tries his best to explain to the youngest Wayne boy, “Look, bra-kid, some times when people aren’t doing to well they… they hurt themselves. Tim…”
Giving his brother a smile, Tim takes over as tears finally break away from Jason. Jason was always the most emotional and that’s evident in how he actually lets Bruce pull him into a side hug.
“Dami, you know how my parents kind of sucked?”
Damian makes a scoff noise, “I know they were incompetent, yes.”
Smiling, Tim continues as his eyes grow wet with the sound of his families cries, “Well, I really wanted to good for them but they had impossible standards. When I found I couldn’t reach them, I decided I needed punishment. So…” he takes a deep inhale and moves a hand to Dick’s head to comfort him as he finishes. “I started to cut myself.”
Damian doesn’t get wide eyes or anything, and Tim thinks it’s so much worse that there’s an image understanding in his little brothers eyes that show he sees that as completely logical.
But it is quickly overcome, his first thought always what he was raised with and quickly followed by the ideals he’s learnt and now values. He doesn’t cry either, but he does have a look of a pure heart break in his sweet little eyes.
Bruce finally comes over and pulls his two sons into a hug, adjusting to fit Jason in and saying nothing as Damian comes up behind Tim and leans his head against the others back.
Bruce asks other a few minutes of holding each other, “You said you haven’t for two years?”
Tim smiles once again and presses a kiss to his dad’s cheek. “Yeah. I learnt that family, real family like ours, would never want physical punishment, especially for something we can’t control. That’s not how loving people work.”
Damian moves to wrap his arms around Tim in their first ever hug and by all gods and mighty beings is Tim glad he stuck around.
Hugs from his family was well worth it.
#batfam#tim drake#bat family#dc comics#batfamily#dc universe#dc#tim drake is red robin#tim drake is a menace#damian wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#bruce wayne#Tim Drake angst#tim drake centric#sh mention
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Logistics
Yes, when the humans arrived in the Coalition they brought themselves, and their ships, and their weapons. Those were all very impressive. They showed up with positively gigantic starships - easily two to four times larger than anyone else. When asked, the humans just looked at them, then back to us and said "why not make them big? Don't they look great?"
We could think of a few reasons, but they didn't seem to care about those.
But that's not what I want to talk about. Do you know what was the most amazing, galaxy changing paradigm they brought with them?
Containerization.
I'm serious! The first time I saw them field a colony ship my feathers ruffled and I turned my head in confusion. I was aboard the human ambassador's yacht with a few other Coalition administrators. We had come at the human's behest so they could demonstrate that they were taking our rules about colonizing seriously. Honestly, we probably wouldn't have cared. All they were interested in were planets Class F and lower. The ones with multiple biomes, the ones with heavy gravity, the ones with weather. We let them license the worlds for colonization cheap - ancestors, I think we even let them have the one with storms for free.
Anyway, they asked us to come and observe, and so we sent a few people out, me among them. I was a mid level clerk for the Innari embassy at the main Coalition station, so I was 'volunteered' to attend. It was boring, but it wasn't bad. Good food, a break from paperwork, and a chance to take it easy for a week.
On the second day, the colony ship arrived. It had Flashed in quote close to the planet, entered orbit, and had spent an hour setting itself up. One of the Sefigans looked at the human who was guiding us and asked what we were looking at, if we were just going to see a shuttle go back and forth for a week from the ship.
"A shuttle? Heavens, no. Just watch." and he did that cryptic smile without showing his teeth that they do when they realize they're about to show off.
Just then, while we were watching, the colony ship... flew apart. It wasn't destroyed, or rather it was, but it wasn't destructive. It had turned out that the entire colony ship was thousands upon thousands of boxes. The assembled crowd made surprised noises as the ship quickly disappeared into rectangles all the same shape and size. They disconnected from each other and fell through the atmosphere to the planet's surface. Within a tenth of a cycle, they were all down, and had begun unfolding.
Some were buildings, some contained supplies, and some even had vehicles. As we watched through remote cameras and entire city had sprung into being, where once there was only a joining of two rivers. The colony ship was completely gone - the box that was the command module had set itself up in the center of the city and we watched as the overlay changed from "Ship Command" to "City Command" as it touched down.
Before our surprise could be properly registered it happened again. Another colony ship flashed in and flew apart and landed. And again. And again. In the space of one solar day, three full cities were set up and automated construction vehicles - also the size of the containers - had begun trundling between the cities, setting up utilities and roads. By the time the humans arrived in thirty solar days, there would be places to live, work, and entertain for fifty thousand beings.
Honestly, if that's all they used it for, it would be impressive. But they made everything able to fit into those boxes. When they ordered supplies from human manufactories they ordered them by the container. During the next resupply one of the containers would detach and be delivered, and sure enough, packed floor to ceiling would be the widgets they ordered.
They built reactors that fit the container, so that no matter where they went or what they were doing, it was simple to have more power than one needed.
They even built weapons that fit into the containers. I'm not talking about hand and small arms, but full anti starship missile batteries. They would take one of their boxes, stick it to the side of a ship or a station - it didn't even have to be human made - and out would fold a missile battery, loaded and ready. Next to it they'd plop a reactor container and a matter printer container and in the time it took you to decide what to eat for their midday meal - lunch - they would be able to defend against an attack of nearly any kind.
When called on to aid during disasters, they brought them too. They would bring a modified version of their colony package, tuned for what kind of disaster had happened. Extra hospitals, extra living space, extra power, it didn't matter, because it all fit into those damned boxes.
The other Coalition peoples had to adopt the humans containers, it was too foolish not to. Human ships would only haul containers. They didn't list the ships capacity by hauling weight, they listed them by the number of containers they could haul. If you wanted to sell to humans, you had to fit your wares into a container.
Some other peoples - the Sefigans specifically, but a few others as well - attempted to introduce their own container specifications, but they were almost never adopted. The humans had the infrastructure to haul their own containers, and unless the others fit into the system they just rejected them outright. "Too complex to add" they said. "Just use ours; here have a few for free." They gave away containers like they were atmosphere. When items were shipped from human manufactories they told the recipient to just keep the container "in case you need to ship anything else."
Before too long, all the Coalition was using human containers. The Sefigans complained that they were too large, the Gren complained they were too small, and we Innari looked at the containers with an eye towards economy. We felt they were far overbuilt. We tried to make our own, out of much lighter materials but whenever they were added to a human system, they would be immediately ejected - usually with large dents or bends in them. "Stick to the specs" they'd say. "Our system requires them all to be the same."
Without firing a shot, the humans took over one of the most important and overlooked parts of our entire system. Everyone uses their containers now, it's just impossible to find a shipper to move material without them.
#writing#humans are deathworlders#humans are space orcs#sci fi writing#jpitha#humans are space oddities#humans and aliens
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do better — gregory house x f!reader
a/n: I got a little carried away, per usual, and now I’m late with day 04 of the angstober challenge (still a wyp), but I plan on finishing it and posting later today. but, omg, I can’t believe I'm posting day 05 — do better on time! this is also part of @angstober‘s challenge, which I'm having a blast writing. I do love some angsty vibes. please, feel free to comment or dm me!
summary: a relationship between the boss and his employee has a million ways to go wrong. one, in particular, hurt them the most.
word count: 2.2k
warnings: angst. House is an asshole. mentions of family death. mentions of cancer. struggles with immigration. inappropriate relationship. mentions of smut.
Let medicine be thy food.
That's the quote, or at least you think it is. After a particularly long shift, words in English seemed to scramble together a bit, with it being your second language and all. Usually, you’re a natural, perfect, fluent speaker. There are moments, however, when understanding what your peers are saying or formulating cohesive sentences becomes a herculean task. You didn’t make yourself unintelligible, but it was a little awkward to be with a patient who clearly had no idea how globalized the world was and how many doctors in the United States were not native English speakers, and who looked at you like you had just robbed the white coat from a “proper doctor”.
Sure, dealing with people was shitty sometimes. “Doctors don’t treat people, they treat illnesses”, your boss had once said. But in your mind, people weren’t that bad. The long hours, the sleep deprivation, the lack of a social life — that was the really bad part. And there were, of course, the very short lunch breaks.
Medicine was fun, but it had nothing on a full plate of pasta with those weird looking meatballs. What once was disgusting, now seemed appetizing as hell. Not eating once while working for the whole night could do that to a person. Medicine was not food, at least not literally.
You had taken off your sweater and your white coat a while before going to the cafeteria, where the rest of the team was. As of right now, you and Chase had spent thirty-six hours working. Cameron and Foreman had taken the long straws and gone home last night while you and the prettiest doctor around worked on some lab tests.
That man who, right now, was not really trying to hide how he lustfully eyed you up and down, stopping on your cleavage. You didn’t blame him for looking, though. Firstly, you did spend the night working together and you mentioned that you did not have sex for the last six months, and secondly, you had nice boobs, which was both a blessing and a curse. Also, he was very much exhausted. Thinking about your coworkers in an unfashionable manner to keep awake was better than falling asleep atop of a patient during a lumbar puncture — you had done both, so you could tell, oops.
“I’ll die if I have to do any more thinking”, the pretty doctor said, accent even more prominent, letting his head drop to the headrest of his seat behind him.
“Yes, thinking just doesn’t come naturally to some people”, you laughingly replied, sitting down next to Foreman. He scooched over, making more room for you and your tray. There was enough pasta on your plate to feed two, not to mention the salad, the dessert, the can of Coke and the can of energy drink.
“Damn, kid, do you not have food at home?” You eyed Foreman, a little annoyed at the comment. Why did men think they had the right to comment on women’s food choices and bodies all the damn time? “Don’t give me that look, you know that’s a lot, especially for a girl who skips lunch every other day”.
“Not by choice” you said, taking a lot of pasta into your mouth. “Nof ba chos”, you replied, mouth full, making everyone at the table let out a tired laugh.
It was an uneventful meal. The team was really tired, especially Chase, who almost dropped his head on his plate twice. The four of you rushed upstairs when lunch was over, after being paged by your boss.
The man himself was pacing back and forth in the conference room, brows furrowed and looking extremely aggravated. Nothing new, then, you think, sitting down across from Cameron.
Allison Cameron and you had been friends since med school, and getting to work together was pretty nice. Women in STEM need each other, of that you were sure. The thing is, she was in a weird place romantically, which made you feel weird about getting along with the people about whom she was confused — which hardly makes sense, but it is what it is. She had a crush on your boss for the longest time, and that didn’t work out at all. And then there was Chase, who she had slept with, but had no interest in further pursuing.
Hanging out with Chase knowing he’d seen her naked was a little weird, but the fact they’d slept together wasn’t the problem. He liked her, and that was her problem. Your boss, well, he was everybody’s problem.
Particularly yours, considering… you know. The one-night-that-became-every-night. The HR-nightmare. The doing-the-devil’s-tango. The seeing-each-other-scars. The kissing-and-absolutely-not-telling.
It was fairly easy sneaking around. He was inappropriate, sure, but not big on PDA. He treated you like any other dumbass employee with boobs. If anyone saw the two of you leaving the hospital together? You worked together. If you were seen going towards the same place? You’re neighbors, duh. And if anyone happened to see the two of you having breakfast together in the little café a block around his place? Well, it was a coincidence meeting him there!
If they saw you giving him head while he tried to play the piano, well… There’s no explanation for that.
You looked at him coming and going, and you knew his leg must be killing him. Yesterday when you left his home in the morning to pick up your stuff for the day (which turned out to be the day, the night and the next day), he was popping more pills than usual. Shit.
“New case?”, Cameron asked, looking at the limping man with worry and care in her eyes. You liked her a lot, but she had to stop thinking about your limping man with such care.
Sure, she liked him first. And she probably worried for him just as she would anyone else. And it was ridiculous to be annoyed at your long-time friend for caring for her boss. Still, there was a sting of jealousy that made you want to bitch-slap her.
He finally stopped and looked at all of you. When his eyes finally met you, he looked right at your low cut top and let out a “Yowza!”. When you blushed and stood up to pick your white coat, he called your last name, and said, nonchalantly: “Nice boobs”.
You raised a hand to pinch at the bridge of your nose as you sat down. It might seem like sexual harassment — and at first, it was a little bit —, but now it was just him being as inappropriate as always. Hiding from his feelings, keeping his distance with pathetic remarks and cold attitudes. It made you sad when you started working for him, but right now, you pinched your nose to stop you from giggling like a sixteen year old cheerleader being noticed by the boy on the football team. Or rather, the boy on the bench cursing at the stupid players.
Dr. Gregory House had a massive crush on you, and that made all the shit he did go away.
You realized Chase started updating House on the patient you spent all night testing and monitoring. Truth is, that guy didn’t stand a chance for a normal life here on forward. At best, he had a benign hereditary chorea. Worst case scenario, it was Huntington manifesting earlier than it should, as you’d been saying from the beginning.
“Shut up”, House said to Chase, making those blue Australian eyes widen. Poor guy, he looked beyond exhausted. “I understand how DNA testing works. I went to med school too, remember?”
“Yeah, but that was seven hundred years ago”, you let out before you could think twice. You teased House a little for being older. Scratch that, you gave him a lot of crap for being older. You just didn’t do it in front of the team, which was why they all looked at you horrified.
Horrified, but Foreman was holding in a laugh.
The ‘old-man’ hit his cane on the desk, turning the attention back to him. “Ouch”.
You smiled, playing it off like a remark made by an exhausted overworked young woman who disliked her boss. House half-screamed some orders to all of you, even though he already knew you had clinic duty.
The hours left to finish on the clinic were manageable, so you could finish it after you did some of the tests House asked.
Time passed by too quickly, and as your day went by, you remembered you had to talk to Wilson as soon as possible. It wasn’t a life or death matter, but a peace of mind kind of thing. You decided to stop by his office before you It was then that you overheard something you shouldn’t have.
Well, that brought the high school memories right back.
It was the middle of the afternoon, also known as the beginning of your third shift in a row, and you were stopping by Wilson’s office to discuss a private matter. A family member of yours had cancer, and then another one. By the time your fourth relative came down with the diagnosis, you decided to check your genetic predisposition. Although the tests came back clean, meaning you were safe for oncology purposes, you still wanted to know his opinion on how you could be even safer.
You looked cancer in the eyes many times. You didn’t want to look at it in the mirror too.
For some godly reason, you stopped before knocking. That’s when you recognized your boss’s voice, complaining about something, per usual.
“She’s a baby! She had never watched Grease, for crying out loud”, the voice and the footsteps made their sounds in harmony. You leaned in closer to the door, to try and listen better.
“Well, you two barely know each other, now it’s the time to know if there’s a future in this relationship or not. And would you ever marry her?”, Wilson’s voice, and the words made you freeze.
“Not everyone has marriage on the brain 24/7, Wilson”, House replied. Even from behind the door, you could almost hear the engines in his brain turning. “And God, no. I could never marry her. I can do better than a gullible third-world princess”.
You froze.
Of course he’d say that. Of course. Even if he didn’t mean it.
The realization came like an electrical shock flowing through your body. You felt it, and it made the hairs on the nape of your neck rise.
You meant nothing to him.
As an immigrant, the feeling of never belonging is constant. You don’t belong in the place you now live, but you don’t really belong in the place you were born.
You had felt for a fraction of a second that you could find your place here. In House's department. Perhaps, even with House. God, you were stupid. You were a device for him to finish his puzzles, and an object to finish… Well, to finish himself off.
As you left your transe and heard the voices again, you ran as fast as you could back to the clinic, where you had a couple hours left to finish. There was something you needed to arrange with Cuddy, too.
Hours later, you were in the department’s room reading some exams when House walked in.
He eyed you up and down again, eyes lingering on your breasts a little longer than a boss’ eyes normally would. “So”, he took his bootle from his jacket and opened it, popping a couple of pills, “your place or mine?”
“You suck”, you murmured, angrily, but pouting a little. He’d never admit it, but he loved seeing you a little aggravated, crossing your arms in front of your body in a way that made your already eye-catching torso irresistible.
He smiled a little, putting the medicine back in his pocket. “No, sweetheart”, he now fully grinned, “that’s you.”
You rolled your eyes, but let your arms fall and a cold smile creeped into your face.
“Yes, I do, actually”, you rose up from the chair and walked all the way towards him, hitting your hand towards his chest and pressing the paper you were holding against him. “I’m a full on sucker, and ass-kisser, as you like to point out. That’s why your so called mortal enemy offered me a job in New York”.
He took the paper, blue eyes never leaving yours.
“Consider this my two weeks notice”. It was hard to say, but it felt a little good, too. Logically, there were no downsides in this opportunity. Then, why did it hurt so much? “I guess everyone was right. I can do better”.
The double meaning was not lost on House.
Your hand finally left his chest, and he didn’t look back as you left.
Looking at it now, it all seems so simple. It never is, though, is it? Especially with House. And you, an intelligent, kind, talented and ambitious young woman, could definitely do better than attach yourself to a crippled, bitter, odious older man.
You were doing better now. So, why, pray tell, why did this still hurt so much?
#day 05#day 5#angstober#angst oneshot#angstober 2024#writing event#writing challenge#gregory house#house md#malpractice md#greg house#gregory house x reader#greg house x reader#house x reader#house x female reader#hugh laurie#james wilson#lisa cuddy#robert sean leonard#doctor house#dr house#dr house x reader#angst#fiction
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IOU | OP81
pairing: ghostface!oscar x ghostface!reader
summary: reader & oscar are best friends but reader would love to get a shot with ghostface. what they don’t know is that their chances are closer than they think…
warnings: [DARK THEMES USED & SMUT] slightly descriptive murder, mention of stalking stalking, mention of blood, breath play, public sex, oral sex (m receiving), dry humping, dom!oscar, sub!reader, degradation, hair pulling (if you squint??), face fucking, deep throating
a/n: once again, dark themes used! please read the warnings above!!! i answered a asked on my main here and decided to make a oneshot of it (yes i quote J's ask cause it was too good). tbh didn't even plan for a plot but here we are! I know my answer and this are vastly different...i don't wanna talk about it. also ghostface!oscar series belongs to @piastrification so homie this one is for YOU!! Also happy belated Valentines day omg. Hope you enjoy 🫶🏽
word count: 4.5K
This week has started out to be one of the worst weeks you’ve had in a very long time. Monday started off with your car breaking down on the way to campus and you completely missed your first class. When you got to campus an irritated Oscar was waiting asking why the hell you didn’t call him. “Even though I was in class, I would’ve left and gotten you,” he told you. You weren’t in the mood to argue so you just apologized and told him you’d call him next time which seemed to ease his irritation slightly. Seemed he also had a pretty shitty Monday.
Tuesday brought your shitty manager everyone hates at your job to end a relatively quiet day. It was the typical bullshit but still didn’t mean you had to enjoy it. You spent the whole drive home on the phone with Oscar screaming your head off about all the things your manager had done. The micro-managing of your work, the snarky remarks, the extra work so he can just fuck off in the back, god you could not stand this manager at all. Oscar listened like he always did. “You don’t deserve that,” you could hear the frown in his voice, “honestly he shouldn’t even be a manager. I could take care of him for you.” You laughed. You thanked Oscar for the offer but you had already decided that your manager would be your next victim. It would be tricky considering everyone in the store knew how much you two despised each other but it would get done.
You ended up with a stomach bug on Wednesday. You woke up around four in the morning with a jump and just made it to the bathroom before you got sick. You stayed in there for a good hour before there was nothing left in your system and you dragged yourself back to bed. You somehow coherently managed to message your professors you’d be missing class due to illness and texted Oscar that you’d be out sick today before promptly falling asleep. You woke to a knock on your front door and dragged yourself out of bed. You made a face seeing Oscar standing outside with a bag. “What are you doing?” You ask.
“Taking care of you. Can I come in?”
“What if you catch it? What about classes?”
You watch Oscar simply pull a KN95 mask out of his pocket. You narrowed your eyes as he slipped it on. You didn’t need to see his face to see the cheeky smile he was giving. His eyes twinkled slightly with humor as he gently turned you around and guided you back inside your place as he listed the things he brought over and how he can afford missing one day to make sure you eat and rest, a habit you tend to struggle with. He really was a good best friend.
Thursday is really when you hit your limit. Arriving on campus you and Oscar head to class though neither of you really paid attention. You two spent most of the time texting each other even though you guys were sitting right next to each other. When class ended the two of you headed to the closest campus cafeteria before parting ways. You got on the line to grab the food while Oscar secured you two seats since it was roughly lunch time and everyone would be out and about.
Carrying the two to-go containers after paying you make your way to the back left corner. It’s usually where you and Oscar sat and enjoyed just people watching and gossiping about other students but you slowed your walking. Oscar was looking up at someone. Fucking Brittany. One of the sororities girls. Sorority president actually. Brittany was in a nice blouse, a skirt, some fucking heeled boots. Her blonde hair was thrown up into a messy bun and she was leaning forward slightly while smiling wide at Oscar.
Jealousy hit you like a truck. You grip the to-go containers tighter while standing frozen in your spot watching them. You wanted to march over and tell her to fuck off. Grab your stupid bun and slam her head into the table until she’s bleeding out. Or maybe take the plastic forks that rested on top of the to-go containers and gauge her eyes out for having the audacity to even look at Oscar. Alas, you refrained from it all. Instead you just tilted your chin up and made your way over with a tight smile. “I’m back!” You announce to Oscar. The both turn to face you and Oscar visibly relaxes slightly but Brittany is giving you a once over clearly unimpressed. You turn and blink, feigning surprise. “Oh! Brittany. Hi,” you keep your tone light and friendly, “what brings you here?”
“Oh, I was just talking to Oscar,” Brittany smiles, “we’re partners for our history project.” You could give two shits less what it was as you spy Brittany’s hand moving to Oscar’s upper arm and resting there with ease. Something so subtle but could come off as flirty and you wanted to cut her hand off. How dare she think she can touch Oscar like that? “…and wanted to see if he wanted to come to the frat party Saturday night,” she concludes.
“Oh, isn’t that sweet of you. Can he bring a plus one?” You ask putting the containers down, sliding one over to Oscar.
“If he wants…” Brittany glances at Oscar with a smile then back at you, “but we need to know to make sure they’re on the list. Even then…it depends on the mood if everyone gets in.”
“Then it seems kinda stupid for a list, don’t you think so?” Oscar asks finally. Brittany laughs. It wasn’t even that funny. You realize now that she’s flirting with Oscar. Well. This just won’t do. Not like you care anyway. Oscar is your best friend. Sure you love him but it’s platonic -or so you tell yourself- so it shouldn’t bother you but it does. It does bother you because Brittany was the queen heartbreaker. She used guys until she got bored. Until they got attached and couldn’t offer anything else after giving her everything. You were not about to have Oscar be a pawn in her fucking game. You had missed the remark Brittany gave as you sat down, your heart pounding in your ears.
“…let me know!” Brittany calls out as she’s already walking away.
“Ugh. As if,” Oscar murmurs and turns his attention to you. “Hey,” he starts softly. Bring your gaze to him and you blink, “you okay?”
“Yeah,” you manage a smile, “I’m fine. Did you see the shoes she was wearing?” You ask to divert the subject as now you might have something fun to do this weekend.
* * *
Personally, you never understood the hype of sororities and managed to curb every single one who tried to recruit you. It was just a bunch of girls with money and tried to make it sound like it wasn’t a cult but it most certainly was if you got in. Moving into the house, what they expected you to wear, how to act in public, who can and cannot date, for fuck sakes they monitored your social media post and if they didn’t approve of something you posted they would either make you take it down or probably kick you out. You much preferred your freedom over dealing with that bullshit.
Luck had shined down on you when you heard some of the girls mention Brittany couldn’t go to the bar tonight because she was under the weather and just ‘had to get better for tomorrow in case her special guest came’. It was a miracle that you didn’t march over here and slaughter Brittany right then and there but you bide your time. You had to be careful.
Now, slipping the mask on, you give it a five minutes after everyone else leaves before slipping through the back door. Standing quietly, you listen to the water running and slowly making your way through the house. Climbing the stairs you follow the noise until you’re outside the bathroom. You hear Brittany singing and you silently open the door. Steam hits your face and it takes everything not to cough from the sudden heat. Stepping in you watch Brittany’s silhouette run her fingers through her hair. Gripping the hilt of your knife, you inch forward. When Brittany turns you stab the knife through the shower curtain and straight in her heart. Twisting, you step forward until Brittany is pinned against the wall as she weakly has a hold of your wrist trying to pull the knife out her screams being drowned out by the shower and her choking on her own blood. You pull out before stabbing again to ensure that there was no chance she would be able to survive. When her attempts falter, you pull the knife out. Cleaning the knife off, you slip out of the house the way you came smirking knowing the rest of them wouldn’t have hot water for a long time.
Carefully you pack everything into your backpack you left in the woods by the house before securely zipping it. Slinging a strap over your shoulder, you start to head back to your apartment. You emerge from the treeline right into an alleyway and into town which is bustling with college kids. Perks of living in a college town. You just turn left and make your way back to your apartment which is a bit further uptown and you notice as the people start to thin out.
You feel eyes burning into the back of your skull. Turning your head over your shoulder, you stop. At the end of the block you see a figure in all black and an identical mask standing there. Normal people would do anything but stare. Call out to the figure, turn away and walk, call the police, something except just stand there silently and face off with this killer. Copycat killer that is. You suppose you’d have fans, sick and twisted probably, but you didn’t expect you’d end up creating a copycat killer. Not that you minded, actually the gesture touched you actually. People had been too stupid to realize it was a copycat but not you.
After all, their first kill happened to be one of your best friends you recently dropped.
You can’t even remember why but you arrived to apologize and found her body on the floor, throat cut. It was a bit messy. The cut wasn’t as clean as you would’ve expected and there was blood everywhere. Even on the poor bitch’s hands. Then you realize that there’s a few stab wounds. Seemed she put up a fight before whoever did it got the kill. Then someone clears their throat and you raise your gaze.
There you saw him.
An identical ghostface mask, black long sleeve shirt, jeans, and sneakers. Personally you preferred boots but to each their own. As much as some little sane part in your head told you to stop judging this person’s choice in shoes and run, you stood there staring because god he was so *distracting*. Honestly, the tight fit long sleeve should be illegal for killers to wear. It clung to him defining each curve of his muscle and you couldn’t help but get turned on because well–they’re a well fit masked killer.
“Did you do this?”
The killer nodded. Silence fell upon the two of you before you finally asked, “why?”
“...Why?” The voice asked. A shiver ran down your spine hearing the low murmur. A voice modulator just like you. Smart and well fit? Shit, “that’s all you can ask? Why? Aren’t you supposed to be running and screaming?”
“Well I find that a bit stupid,” you retort, “you’re right here. Masked or not, you're taller. You have length compared to my short legs. I might have you in agility and you’re a bit messy with your killing. Shaky in the hands.” You tilt your head to the masked figure with a small smirk. You watch the figure tighten his grip on the hilt of the knife before he’s in front of you in about four steps. You gasp as your head is yanked back by your hair, knife against your throat.
“Are you asking to be killed right now?”
“I mean you gonna fuck me before you kill me?”
Ghostface reels their head back slightly. Stupidly, they loosen their grip from the shock. Taking your chance, you grab the first with the knife and twist it away from you. They shout out in pain as you get your hair free and release their wrist before kicking the figure harshly in the stomach. You step on the figure’s chest a bit harshly. Smirking down at him, “expect the unexpected sweetheart. But you never answered me. Why?”
You can hear something faintly. You cannot believe this guy is mumbling. Leaning down slightly, you turn your ear, “I can’t hear you,” you tease.
“I did it for you.”
Now you’re stunned. You lean back slightly, hand over your heart. You don’t dare move though. You expect it to be some sick joke but the laughter never came. You bite your bottom lip having half the mind to suck him off right then and there. You stay strong though. Instead, you move to stand over the figure and bend down and hook a finger under his mask. His hand flies to your wrist and you laugh.
“I’m not gonna take your mask off,” you explain, “Trust me. Right now I am getting extremely horny and I don’t think I can handle you being ugly under the mask. Would just completely kill the mood.” You laugh hearing the figure let out an offended noise, “but aren’t you sweet,” you tilt your finger up and the figure follows, lifting his chin, “don’t be a stranger, yeah? Now, you should get off so I can feign the heartbroken emotional ex- best friend.”
Ghostface is in front of you now. He’s got your chin between his thumb and finger staring down at you and you blink as you come out of your memory. He’s close and you can hear his soft breathing which forces your own breath to hitch. You curl and uncurl your fingers and you hear a small huff behind the mask accompanied by a smirk you assume. “My,” he murmurs softly, “what do we have here. You shouldn’t be walking alone at night like this little one. You never know what lurks in the dark.”
You take a deep breath to keep your voice even. Pressing your thighs together you try so hard to stop the heat that’s starting to spread through your body. You should not be getting this turned on but how could you not? You had a copycat killer who kept killing people that you had issues with somehow and someway. “I–” You start, biting your bottom lip trying to find the words but you’re cut off with a chuckle.
“You’re so worked up for me. I can see it in the clench of your legs, the flush on your cheeks, the way your pupils dilate and the way you bite your lip for me. You don’t even know who I am. I could be a total stranger, who followed you home one night and just never stopped, but I could also be your best friend, that you’ve known for years, who you think you know like the back of your hand. You don’t even know. But I know one thing for certain though- I’m sure your panties, if you’re even fucking wearing any, are already soaked.”
You hate the fact he’s right. Your breathing slightly heavy as your eyes widen as you listen. Shifting, you clench your thighs even tighter as one of your hands slips between your thighs slightly. You can’t see his eyes but you can feel his stare bruning into yours and you actually look away. This hasn’t happened before.
“Look. At. Me.”
Your eyes snap back and your mouth hangs open slightly. You can feel how wet you are every time you shift and by god do you need something here. “What do you want, love?”
“I would very much like to take you up on that offer and suck you off,” you nod your head in the direction of the alleyway.
“Excited, aren’t we?”
“We’ve been at this for months of fucking course I’m excited.”
He grips your jaw tightly, “I’d watch that tone if I were you. I can happily just walk away and leave you here alone.” Your eyes travel downwards and spy his half hard bulge against his jeans and then back up, “I can handle myself and sleep much more satisfied than you probably would with your fingers,” leaning close to your ear, “but I’d be a fool to leave you so desperate without giving you a taste.” Your eyes nearly roll into the back of your head but he lets go of your jaw and spins you around, smacking your ass. You startled with a yelp before quickly scurrying to the alleyway.
Any sane person, seeing the alleyway lead to the woods, probably would have taken the chance to run but not you. You were so desperate to finally fuck this copy cat that you spun around as he rounded the corner. You gasped as your back slams against the brick wall feeling pain through your shoulder for only a brief moment as your hands fly to Ghostface’s wrist as he holds you there by your throat. Oddly enough your calm even though he could easily choke you as your breathing becomes a bit more jaded. Lifting his mask slightly you stare at the slightly chapped but pink lips as you drop your bag. They look so familiar, why?
You can’t really think longer on it as he moves his hand up to your jaw tightly and his lips are on your neck as you gasp for air. He wedges his knee between your legs and immediately you roll your hips whining loudly. You let your eyes drift close as the figure litters your neck in kisses along with marks. You let the figure tilt your head so he can litter the otherside in matching marks. Your nails dig into his wrist earning a hiss against your neck. When he pulls back your eyes stare at his lips and you’re so tempted for a taste. You find yourself starting to lean in before he’s pushing you onto your knees. Blinking, you're now eye level with his obvious bulge and glance up at him fixing his mask.
Dropping your gaze, your hands get straight to work. Undoing his jeans you pull the zipper down before pulling his pants down just enough. You hold your breath seeing the outline of his cock because oh it looks so much bigger than you’ve had which…was very few. There was only one way to really find the truth. You let your fingers dance across the waistband of his boxers before you tug, cock basically popping free. You lean back with wide eyes because it is bigger than you’ve had. It’s actually the biggest you’ve ever had. The length was maybe just an inch or two over average which was impressive enough but it was the girth that really made your mouth water and the precum leaking out just makes you drool.
Gently wrapping a hand around his cock, the figure’s breath hitches as he bucks his hip. You give a few experimental tugs not really for a reaction but more so to get a feel of him in your hand. Big. Girthy. Heavy. God, how pent up was he? You feel fingers through your head as you continue to cautiously jerk him off before licking the tip. The reaction pulled out of the figure was a low satisfied groan and it encourages you to take the tip of his cock into your mouth. You swirl your tongue around the tip before sucking, alternating between the two before you finally you’re ready.
If you had known how big he was you would’ve been a bit more…prepared. You weren’t naive enough to think you could take all of him down your throat. God no. Maybe with some training and patience later if the figure would let you but you didn’t have either of those things or really time on your side. Still, you had to make sure to keep the figures interested in you- even if he’s killed for you already. Better safe than sorry, right?
Hollowing your cheeks out and flattening your tongue on the underside of his cock, you start to suck him off. Bobbing your head you can’t help but feel a bit of a rush go to your head as the figure above lets out another loud ground. You glance up to see the figure’s neck as his head is tilted back. You're absolutely drenched watching him and find yourself slipping a hand into your own pants and moan around him as you rub your clit. That catches his attention as his head snaps down to look at you.
“Naughty girl. You’re so turned on from sucking me off that you have to touch yourself?” It earns a strangled whine, “such a pathetic slut.”
You can’t help but moan at that. “Wow. You are so fucking pathetic it’s adorable.” The figure coos and grips your hair to stop you. Shifting, he puts one foot in front of you and smirks, “here why don’t you just hump my leg while you’re at it.” He taunts.
Funny enough you’ll take him up on that. The moment he frees your head you go back to bobbing your head on his cock humming in delight as you hug his leg, settling on his foot and grind your hips down. If your lips weren’t so occupied at the moment you would smirk at the shocked reaction you pull from the figure but you’re lost in your own world. The stretch of your jaw combined with the already dull ache lulls you into a peaceful trance. You completely ignore the spit that’s starting to wet your chin.
You feel the figure’s other hand gently grab your jaw trapping you in place suddenly. You stared up with doe eyes as the figure fucked your face before you felt him hit the back of your throat. You gagged and your hands flew to his thighs for some stability as he repeated the action. “So fucking good. Taking my cock,” the figure grunts out and tears prick your eyes when he stops moving and you gag because he’s so far down your throat. He pulls off just enough for you to gasp and get some air before he’s back in your mouth and fucking your face again. You’re prepared for it this time as you relax your throat and gag less.
Having lulled yourself into such a peaceful you nearly let your eyes slip close. Sliding your hands down, you wrap your arms around Ghostface’s leg as you continue to fuck yourself against his foot while he fucked your mouth. You ended up tuning everything else out except him and listening to him ramble was going to get you off alone. ‘Such a gorgeous cock drunk whore’, ‘you look so pathetic humping my leg while you let me fuck your mouth it should be illegal’, and ‘you’d look so beautiful being my personal cock drunk slut’. It’s the one you made out between all the groans and moans and curses. You felt his tug at your hair as a warning and you finally opened your eyes.
“Fuck–shit–I’m gonna–” He groaned but doesn’t stop his thrusting. He does the opposite as he picks the pace up. That’s all the encouragement you needed. You find your hips onto his foot even harder and faster as you. You feel the familiar coil in your abdomen and you’re trying so hard to reach it. He snaps his hips forward and forces himself down your throat. Your eyes go wide and you gag, choking on his cock as he spills into your throat. You hit his thighs and try to focus on breathing through your nose but even still the rough face fucking before forced deep throating was enough to send you over the edge. You groan and whine as you continue to hump his foot before he pulls you off his cock and slips his foot out from under you.
Sitting there, you gasp for air as your chest heaves. You look up at Ghostface and lick your lips slowly as you debate if you wanna turn over and let him fuck you right now. He would. For sure…probably and he taste good to. But that would be giving too much. You were the original after all. Finding your footing, you stand up and slide your pants down. There’s a choked sound from Ghostface and you glance over at the figure looking away.
“Seriously?” You raise a brow and giggle, “you just fucked my face but you get all bashful about seeing me in my panties.”
“I–well. I mean. No–” This one sucked at lying. Rolling your eyes, you look away as you take your pants off before sliding your panties off. “What are…” Ghostface’s voice trails off as you stuff your soiled panties into his front jeans pocket. “Consider it an IOU,” you say as you hurriedly put your pants back on. You’re grabbing your bag before the figure gets a chance, “this was fun but I have to run. My friend is coming over for a movie night and he’ll be pissed if I’m not there,” you sigh dreamily at the end of the alleyway, “he’s so caring like that. Anyway, bye!” You say before you’re slinging your back over as you take off. You get home and quickly change into some pajama panties (with new panties) and a sweatshirt before finding yourself settled on the couch while flipping through for a movie.
Hearing keys jingle you look up, you smile at your best friend walking in. You two are so close that he has his own copy. Oscar’s in a baggy grey hoodie with some black jeans on as he takes his shoes off before making his way to the back of the couch. He smiles slightly at you and offers dinner but you decline. As he turns for the kitchen, you spy something hanging out of Oscar’s pocket. It looks like a fabric of some sorts. Watching him in the kitchen, you decide to get some water. Quietly getting off the couch you stand in the doorway. Oscar continues to cook himself dinner and you wait until he’s focused on whatever is in the pan to strike. Passing behind him, your eyes drop down and your breathing stops. Black lacy panties with red roses on them. You look up at Oscar who’s glancing at you over his shoulder. His gaze follows yours and he smirks.
“Can I cash that IOU now, darling?”
#starlight library presents;#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri smut#op81 x reader#op81 smut#op81 imagine#oscar piastri x reader smut#f1 reader#f1 smut#f1 imagine#ghostface!oscar#ghostface!oscar smut#starlight library fiction#contains dark themes#mentions of murder#mentions of blood#smutty#bit toxic??#for the love of god read the warning
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Jelly Legs- ArthurTV
Becoming a camerawoman for ChrisMD meant two things;
Standing out in all weathers for hours on end watching people try to shoot a ball into the net and
Trying not to stare at ArthurTV while doing number one.
You were first introduced to Arthur on your first day on the job, you were obviously nervous but professional and found it sweet Arthur spent his down time when he wasn’t taking part in the video, asking you questions. It was a ritual now, after shooting had wrapped for the day Arthur would stop for you a chat, one of his questions was always ‘what are you doing after this?’ so you would tell him your plans whether it be with some friends or mostly going home and edit the photos from the shoot before watching some Netflix and Arthur’s response would always be ‘cool,’ and a nod before he stuttered and walked off to speak to Chris.
“Do you mind that Arthur has a crush on your videographer?” George asked when him and Chris were getting into an Uber to go home after another very long shoot. Your day was far from over still, you had to take the equipment back to the office and back up the SD cards before heading home.
“Nope, it’s been what? Eight months now and it’s still the exact same routine, he stares at her, talks to her about animal mating rituals, she follows him around with a camera for apparent content,” Chris said doing the finger quotes before continuing “Then he asks her what she’s doing that evening but never follows it up with oh you’re not doing anything? Maybe we could go out? There’s nothing to be worried about, Arthur is a man of habit,” the small man explained as he played with his phone. George nodded in agreement but just because he agreed with it didn’t necessarily mean that was the way it had to be.
“Has she said anything to you about possibly liking him back?” George asked raising his scarred eyebrow.
“No, I don’t know a ton about her outside of work, she tends to keep things professional mostly. I know she loved science fiction films so they’d be a good pairing in that sense,” Chris replied with a shrug and George nodded.
“When’s the next time you’re going out with your team? Let’s invite her along, I think it’s time you got to know her a little bit more socially,” George suggested and Chris nodded, just because he was unlucky in love didn’t mean he wasn’t willing to help out a friend.
“So if you fancy is we’re all going to go out for dinner and then some drink’s next Friday?” Chris asked you the next time you were both in the office, setting the wheels of the plan in motion.
“Oh wow, yeah sounds good,” you nodded before looking back to your screen.
“Really? Okay great,” Chris replied and you looked at him a little and frowned.
“Unless you were just asking me to be polite…”
“Oh no no no! It’s just, I wasn’t expecting you to say yes so quickly. I’ve kind of noticed you tend to keep to yourself quite often. Its one of the reasons why we’re doing this actually, to get to know everyone outside of work, I like to think it’s quite cool and relaxed here and I’m not some horrible slave driver boss,” Chris explained and you nodded. You did keep to yourself often and people had sometimes pegged you as unfriendly when you were simply unsure.
“Sure, it sounds good,” you smiled and Chris nodded before adding the line that made your heart thump a little.
“George and Arthur will be there too,” You needed a new outfit.
After work that day you went shopping, it wasn’t your favourite thing to do in the world and it was something you could do quite quickly, it was often the case that whenever you had money and needed to buy something there was never anything, here you now were in Westfield trudging through each shop in a desperate attempt to try and find something that made her look good but also make it look like she wasn’t making too much of an effort. She picked up a black cami with a floral pattern and lace trim, feeling the material between her fingers, maybe this would work some jeans? Suddenly she heard a voice the other side of her which sent chills right down to her bone.
“You know you suit dresses a lot more,” the dark voice said in a low tone, you froze and kept trying to tell yourself that this couldn’t be happening, there was no way he was here, it all had to be a misunderstanding, a terrible one at that.
You finally mustered the courage to look up and there he was in front of you, the one person you never wanted to see ever again in your life, the person who you thought you would never see again, sure the legal side of things had ended but perhaps naively you thought he wasn’t so stupid that he would seek you out and talk to you again. You pulled the hanger with the top on it from the rail and marched to the till, hoping that human interaction with someone else could firstly, cause him to back off and secondly it would stop you from bursting into tears. You bought the top but it only kept the tears at bay for those five minutes as the second you left the shop they started to flow. Your vision was blurry from tears no matter how hard you tried to wipe them away as they were being replaced so quickly. You could see a man approach you and you started to panic, your breath quickened in pace and you started to wheeze ever so slightly, feeling the intense squeezing sensation in your chest, a panic attack. You hadn’t had one of these in over four months, you were doing so well. The figure got closet but you noticed the hair wasn’t long and brown so it couldn’t have been him. But he was a big guy, you could tell he was definitely a gym bunny, it wasn’t until you could hear his voice that you started to relax.
“Y/N, Y/N it’s me Reev, what’s happened? Are you okay? Let’s get you somewhere a bit quieter,” he said softly and you nodded. Your main work was for Chris but as he didn’t have a crazy upload schedule you would often do other work in your down time mostly for other Youtubers as they knew your work from Chris and or shared an office with him so it was easy to coordinate.
You could only nod, not having the strength or ability to speak in that moment. It was only when you started to walk you noticed Theo who walked on the other side of you, you were squished between the pair and managed to find some seats in a quieter part of the shopping centre off from the main stretch of shops.
“Do you live far from here?” Theo asked scrolling on his phone for Chris’s number, not knowing who else to contact. Your breathing was still very erratic so you shook your head, it was roughly a ten or fifteen minute bus ride away so an Uber would take closer to ten minutes if not a little bit less.
“Do you have a housemate or anything we can call?” Reev asked but once again you shook your head as you gripped onto the bench so tightly while trying to steady your breathing. You lived alone, you had lived alone since you and him broke up, him. You couldn’t believe after so long you would ever bump into him, let alone him having the audacity to speak to you and now after months of hard work he was at the forefront of your mind yet again.
“Hey Chris, are you home? We’ve got a bit of a situation here,” Theo asked Chris who he had now gotten on the phone, he explained the situation with the little information he had and Chris agreed you could go to his if you needed somewhere. You were starting to feel incredibly embarrassed but still hadn’t gained your ability to speak, or regulate your breathing properly so off to Chris’s you went with Theo and Reev in tow.
“What’s happened?” Chris asked once you were settled on the sofa, a mug of tea in hand, a very concerned ArthurTV and George sitting on the other sofa staring at you waiting for answers.
“I saw my ex,” you managed to spit out, staring at the wall in front of you, you had a thousand yard stare, it was obvious you had been traumatised by something.
“Must have been a pretty shitty ex for you to react like that,” Theo noted. Arthur frowned, the thought of you being so upset by someone did not make him feel good, from the little he knew of you he had only known you as an incredibly sweet person.
“He was. I was so surprised to see him because well…” You sighed, it was all going to come out anyway you may as well let the cat out of the bag. You took a deep breath to compose yourself before speaking again “He went to prison, he was violent.” You stated before downing a big gulp of tea. An uncomfortable and stunned silence filled the room as you looked around to see everyone’s faces, there was a mixture of pity, shock and anger, it was usually what you got.
“Did you know he was out?” Arthur was the one to break the silence, he needed to know more, he needed to know if you were okay.
“Yeah, there’s no restraining order or anything, not anymore. I had a no contact order but he didn’t go to prison because of me, he had a fight with someone else, but still I just didn’t think he was stupid enough to talk to me in that shop. If you guys hadn’t have seen me I don’t know what would have happened,” you burst into tears again as everyone looked at each other not knowing what to do for a crying woman. Chris gave you a hug first, some of the others did too in an attempt to cheer you up, you spent the next hour telling everyone your story, asking their questions to the best of your ability.
“That’s why I keep to myself a lot and keep things professional, I’m so so scared to let anybody else in,” you explained, your gaze flicking to Arthur briefly.
“I can’t say I blame you, but you know if you need anything you can call on any of us right?” George offered as he nudged Arthur a little and the brown eyed boy nodded profusely.
“You know you’re safe with us,” Arthur added and you nodded, you did feel safe with them, but could you open up in the way you wanted to?
Armed with their new knowledge the boys had well and truly embraced you into their inner circle, the best part was as far as you could tell they weren’t just doing it because they felt sorry for you but they were genuine.
The work drinks were a huge success, you spent a lot of time talking to people but mostly you chatted to Arthur, George and Chris although pleased the two of you were talking were now very aware of the complication, as was Arthur but he was determined to not treat you any differently, in fact he was even more determined as he wanted to show you just how you should be treated, you deserved the very best.
“Do you think somewhere in China there’s English takeaway serving up questionable fish and chips and steak and kidney pies?” You asked Arthur as the pair of you tucked into a takeaway. The two of you had started to hang out together just you two. It was purely platonic, you had mentioned you had wanted to learn how to play chess so now it was a regular thing going over to his flat to play a game, eat and talk about your views of the world. For some reason this particular evening had ended up being a little boozy, Arthur often liked a drink but this evening he seemed to be drinking a little but more and also tonight you were in a mood to match him somewhat.
“Maybe, I want to go to China. I had a great time in Sri Lanka, I need to go to Asia a lot more plus it’s so diverse,” Arthur mentioned to you, you hadn’t travelled a lot but it was on your bucket list.
“I’ve never been outside of Europe, I’d really love to do something like that,” you replied as you ate your food.
“Maybe we could do something together? Only if you wanted to of course…” Arthur asked trailing off at the end as his shyness kicked in.
“That sounds amazing,” you smiled and blushed before eating some more of your dinner.
The two of you continued to eat in a comfortable silence, you always insisted on washing up when you went over to his flat despite his insistence it was fine but the two of you had a routine now, you washed and he dried and put away. You handed him a plate, the blush rising very quickly on your cheeks as your hand brushed with his momentarily.
“You’re very cute when you blush,” Arthur said, his eyes widened, he didn’t realise he had said it until the words fell out of his mouth, he stuttered a little as he tried to come up with something to say and now it was his cheeks which were the red ones. You couldn’t help but admire how cute he looked all flustered.
“I’m sorry,” he managed to choke out eventually and you frowned a little and shook your head.
“Don’t be sorry, it’s always nice to hear a compliment. You’re cute when you blush too,” you replied looking down a little picking up the fork and cleaning it so the last of the washing up was over.
“I just don’t want you to think I’m coming on too strong or that I’m only after something. There’s some nice guys out there and I really hope you believe you deserve something nice,” Arthur gushed, he didn’t know why he was saying this let alone why he was saying it now but he couldn’t help himself, the words were spilling out of his mouth he just couldn’t hold onto them anymore. You looked at Arthur carefully, trying to ignore the thumping in your chest. You reached out and grabbed his hand lightly walking back to the sofa where you both sat, hands still entwined and now resting on his knee.
“I know, I think you’re one of the good ones. I didn’t say anything before because of my past and I was scared to get into anything but I don’t want my past to effect my future anymore.” You admitted and Arthur had a very small and hopeful smile on his face.
“Does that mean we can maybe go out for dinner next time?” He asked his voice shaking ever so slightly.
“I’d really like that,” you replied with a giggle. This was going to be different in the best way possible.
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The Jane Austen Ball and why it was never about Nina and Maggie
Otherwise known as (*takes a deep breath*): A completely inflated close-up look at various dialogues and events of Season 2 that prove that the Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeeper's Association Meeting Cotillion Ball was supposed to be Aziraphale's confession to Crowley
Look, the point's been made before but that's never kept me from making it myself again, still. In fact, even I made it before, at the end of one of my other metas. But I feel like it's absolutely worthy enough to get its own soppy, way-too-long post. And I do love it so very much to write ridiculously long essays on something that could easily be condensed into a short paragraph.
So, here we go! Snuggle up, get cozy, settle in and, most importantly:
(Word count: 3.177 | Reading time: ~13 minutes)
As I already said above, I laid out a similar case in my meta about why Aziraphale is somewhat of an unreliable narrator. I'll try and recycle it here briefly, so I can further make my point.
When Aziraphale arrives back in London from his Edinburgh journey, he seems oddly happy and giddy for the fact that he just had a rather odd and threatening encounter with Shax. I explain in my other meta that this is because he just spent the last hours of his drive reminiscing on the thrilling and romantic magic show adventure of 1941 and also the fact that he just found out that Crowley has been replaced by Shax and no longer works for Hell.
Ergo: We have a hopelessly lovesick Principality at our hands, who's practically swooning over his serpent who saved him, his books and his magic show all those years ago.
Ergo:
✨This✨
Realistically, Aziraphale should probably be a tad worried about the eery encounter with Shax, in which she definitely had the upper hand on him. But well, if you spend many-a hours driving across the serene countryside (Edinburgh is about an 8-hour drive from London), pondering on one of the craziest, sticky-sweet romantic adventures of your not-life life, well ... things tend to turn a little rosy around the edges. Head in the clouds and all that. Light shades of grey!
Alright, onwards: Once the angel, filled to the very brim with fond memories and butterflies, gets out of the Bentley, he's kindly met with a face full of verdant plants and a very in-character-grumpy Crowley.
Fhwack! Way to burst the rosy bubble.
Seriously, the absolute lightning speed with which Crowley storms out to vacate the bookshop the very second Aziraphale arrives makes me giggle every time.
Let's make a first small (who am I kidding) diversion into analysing the following conversation in unnecessary detail ...
... simply because I enjoy quoting dialogue as an accurate reference in my metas. I'll also highlight certain passages I want to comment on in individual colours so I can back up my thoughts with them below. Alright, their little chinwag goes as follows:
Crowley: "They you are! I was worried something might have happened to you." Aziraphale: "No, nothing happened to me. Very uneventful journey indeed. No strange things at all." Crowley: "Good. That's what we wanna hear." Aziraphale: "Um .. everything okay with- ah.." *nods to the bookshop* Crowley: "Oh, yeah, fine. He's singing to himself. I think he must have been asleep. I heard snoring coming from his bedroom–" Crowley, to the Bentley: "Did you miss me? I bet you did." Aziraphale: "... I'm sure it did." Crowley: "So, any more clues from the mystery of the missing archangel?" Aziraphale: "Not exactly. Or, if there are, I haven't yet cracked the case. But I'm certainly hot on the trail of something." Crowley: "I'm sure you are. Oh, by the way, the whole sudden rain and awning thing was a complete washout." Aziraphale: "Sorry?" Crowley: "You know, project making Nina fall in love with Maggie. I failed, it's your go." Aziraphale: "I see. Well then, Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeeper's Association Monthly Meeting, here we come!" Crowley: "You're really hosting the meeting?" Aziraphale: "Absolutely! And I can guarantee you, it will be a night to remember."
At first glance, this has little to do with the plot of this meta but actually, it folds into my point very nicely! However, it's not time for that yet, so we'll just state the facts as they are for now and then bring them back 'round later when we need them. That being said: For the love of Someone, will these two ever manage to simply tell each other the truth of what happened instead of thinking they can protect each other by lying about it all the time? Hrmpf. As a big fan of open communication myself, I'm close to developing a stomach ulcer with the amount of false truths being spewed here. (Then again – and yes, that is another, way larger meta I'm currently cooking up – it plays so very perfectly into the whole Jane-Austen-Pride-and-Prejudice tragic miscommunication theme that this entire Season has, so I understand the point of it.)
Very uneventful journey indeed, Aziraphale, except for the fact that you were ambushed by a demon who told you she was Crowley's successor, knows about the rumors of the two of you being an item as well as what went down in 1941 (that almost had both of you exposed) and also seems to have figured out where you and your demon boyfriend are hiding Gabriel, all in the span of about a minute. No strange things at all, nooo!
And Crowley's "Oh yeah, fine" is a total lie too. Again, we see him make an absolute run for it before Aziraphale can even enter the bookshop. After all, he just once again witnessed Jim have a Gabriel-flashback, speaking of the Second Coming, while Crowley was alone with him. As fumingly angry he is with the amnesiac archangel – he's also absolutely terrified of what might happen (to him and Aziraphale) should Jim regain his memories. So, no wonder he's quick to vacate the premises after witnessing Jim's rather eery memory flashback (and was, just like Aziraphale, threatened by Shax mere moments later, lol).
But no, nothing out of the ordinary happened to either of them. Tip-top. Absolutely tickety-fucking-boo.
Alright, let's get back on track with the actual topic of this meta. Certainly hot on the trail of something, hm? At first glance, it might seem like Aziraphale is talking about the fact that Gabriel was in company of someone whenever he went to the Resurrectionist Pub. (The clue!) However, I don't actually think he is talking about that. Why? Because, and this slipped my mind too at first, he never actually follows any of this information up, does he? Yes, sure, he went to Edinburgh, found the capital-c Clue and then returned to London. But what does he do with it? Nothing. He doesn't keep investigating this hot trail because that's not the important thing he realized during his journey. No, the more important clue Aziraphale found during his trip, is that Crowley no longer works for Hell and that he is also very much irrevocably in love with him and must confess this at the earliest given chance. (The latter part isn't necessarily a new discovery for Aziraphale, but it surely is fuelled by the fact that he just realized Crowley's out of a Hellish job and simply hasn't told him yet.)
This exchange just the perfect indicator for the fact that Aziraphale, at no point during his drive back, was thinking about the Maggie and Nina mission. He has no idea what Crowley is talking about once he mentions it and seems surprised, even, that he would. Even though they just talked about it on the phone when Aziraphale was still at the graveyard. Which is another important piece of evidence because it means that the last status update Aziraphale got of Mission Lovebirds, was that Crowley had sensed an opportunity to make them fall in love – and had then hung up on him. Why is this important? Because it means that until that very point of their conversation, Aziraphale did not know that Crowley's attempt had failed! There would have been just as much of a chance of Crowley's weather miracle actually working out and Maggie and Nina already having skipped into the sunset happily ever after.
So, riddle me this:
Why would Aziraphale spend the entire ride back from Edinburgh plotting "a night to remember" (because clearly, he already had the entire Ball planned out down to a T in his head since he goes into action right away after arriving) if he didn't even know yet that Crowley's attempt had failed?
To be very clear here: We're not talking about Aziraphale driving on the M1 to London, having a silly little idea for putting on some good music, miracle-ing Nina and Maggie to dance to it and watch them confess their love–
No.
He planned an entire actual Cotillion Ball with very particular location design that involves re-arranging the entire bookshop, specifically designed individual outfits for (almost) every single attendee, topped off with a live band, hors-d'œuvre, drinks and an actual choreographed group dance.
During one car ride.
Where's the party planner Aziraphale AU? I'm waiting!
Now, sure, we know that it's still quite important for Aziraphale to convince Heaven of the faux-reason they gave for their accidental ✨25-Lazarii miracle✨. But if we're all honest, this all seems to be a tad much just to make two random humans fall in love, even for that.
Glittery ball gowns and suits? Red and gold wall curtains? A modified language filter? Bloody vol-au-vents?
Talk about over the top ...
Once we start S2E5, Crowley is still surprised at the mere fact that Aziraphale is actually planning to organize the Monthly Meeting – and he doesn't even know yet that it's gonna be the most extravagant ball-boogaloo that the Whickber Street Community has ever seen! Aziraphale wanting to organize the meeting alone, is enough to render Crowley incredulous, because Aziraphale never mingles with the other shopkeepers. He usually actively avoids them and any sort of social encounters as much as he can because he doesn't care about the bloody Christmas lights, alright?
These things seem mundane and uninteresting to him, obviously, since all he really cares about is hoarding his book collection in peace like the little hedonist he is and drawing as little attention as possible to his none-business business.
Oh, right, speaking of books:
Let's take another unnecessarily detailed look at the whole Whickber Street invitation scene:
Aziraphale realizes very quickly that he's not the only one who's quite unenthusiastic about the blessed Chritsmas lights. And despite his very persuasive methods of temptation ...
... he has to take some more drastic measurements. And those are?
That's right: Giving away his books.
I'll repeat it again, slowly: Aziraphale is willingly (!) giving away or lending his books to pretty much complete strangers to, allegedly, make two other humans strangers fall in love.
Seriously, who is that angel and what has he done with our prim, fussy, hedonistic Aziraphale that protects his books with the vice grip of an eagle carrying his precious prey?
Believe in the importance of Mission Lovebirds as much as you will, but we're talking about Mr. A.Z. Fell here who, over the past millennia, has pretty much spent every day actively working out methods to stop people from purchasing as much as a single paperback from his holy shelves.
And yet: the 1965 September Dr. Who Annual? Given away. The first edition of Expert at the Card Table that was S. W. Erdnase's personal copy? Lent away to grubby human hands to fondle around with.
Let's do another coloured dialogue diversion (don't worry, it's not as extensive as the last one):
Crowley: "You just did what I think you did?" Aziraphale: "I'm not prepared to talk about it." Crowley: "You gave away a book." Aziraphale: "I had to! Maggie and Nina are depending on me. They just don't know it yet."
Crowley backs up my point: This is a huge deal. Aziraphale does not sell his books – let alone give them away for free. We're all shocked! Flabbergasted!
And the explanation Crowley and us get just ... doesn't satisfy. Something and someone sure is depending on this Ball and doesn't know it yet. But it's most definitely not Maggie and Nina, folks.
You know for whom Aziraphale would give away his books in the blink of an eye, though?
Mhm, that's right.
This pretty old serpent.
I want to take a minute to show you the reaction again that Aziraphale has upon entering the very same magic shop him and Crowley went to in 1941 to acquire the Bullet Catch:
You ... you need a minute there, angel? You're sure looking a little ... affected.
And I mean, well, no wonder. He reminisced about that very memory four hours last night. To him, this shop is where the most turbulent, ecstatic, adrenaline-fuelled and romantic night of his life began. And it shows.
I've made my point in my other meta series about how Aziraphale is an incredibly nostalgic character. He romanticizes so many things in his memories – especially the parts that feature Crowley. So, it doesn't surprise me in the slightest that he's once again willing to loosen the tight grip he has on his book collection to get the successor of Will Goldstone's Magic Shop, the shop that started it all for him, to come to his fancy Ball.
As we watch Aziraphale and his little lap dog demon pat around Soho, I'd like to take another second to point out that he goes to seven or more establishments before he even invites Nina.
... and he only does so because she starts talking to them on the street. Almost like he'd forgotten about it. Why not ask her at the very beginning? To establish whether or not he'd have to book-blackmail her too?
"Perfectly ordinary invitation with no hidden agenda of any kind", except that he's using you and Maggie as a pretence to resolve his own clusterfuck of a relationship-miscommunication Jane-Austen-style so that he can then hopefully confess his undying love to his demon not-boyfriend boyfriend.
Marvellous!
You'll forgive me another short diversion but my God, the whole exchange at the Marguerite's restaurant with Crowley literally cat-call-whistling Aziraphale over to him (and Aziraphale checking if he meant someone else first, I–)? I am weak. So, so weak and
However, this is also when we get a snippet of Crowley finally revealing the truth in place of his "Oh, he's fine"-lie earlier and telling Aziraphale that he's actually pretty scared Jim might turn back into Gabriel and smite him altogether. And Aziraphale's response is, in a cosmic sense, (remember the pink paragraph now) so hilarious:
"Have you thought of just talking to him?"
Yeah, have you? Have any of the two of you? Just thought about talking? To each other? About anything?
'pparently not. But hey, it's all good because remember what the ultimate remedy for star-crossed lovers simply misunderstanding each other is?
Bish, bash, bosh, problem solved!
Back at the ballroom bookshop, Aziraphale sends Crowley to invite Maggie in order to, in my opinion, not spoil the Ball-y surprise for him. (Inviting Maggie only now?! Wouldn't she be one of the only two guests who really should attend? Why the short notice? If she's really that important for the Ball you're planning, hm?)
On top of this, we see Nina almost not attending the Ball meeting after her partner broke up with her and Crowley being the one who coincidentally runs into her and ushers her into the bookshop before Shax and her "legion" of demons start creeping up on them. Again, if this hadn't happened by pure coincidence, Nina would have left to go home and this whole Ball would have taken place without her, rendering the apparent sole purpose of making her fall in love with Maggie useless.
Why doesn't Aziraphale care more for both of them to attend and be there? Why is he instead busy fussing over everything looking perfect and wonderful and doesn't even seem to notice that both Nina and Maggie are really late to the meeting?
Well. Well.
The answer's in the title, babes.
Alas, Crowley safely gets Maggie and Nina to join them, Mr. Brown is the only one who doesn't get a miracled outfit (fussy, petty angel, you just don't like him, do you?), Jimbriel stuns with glamour and flirt (and whatever sexually suggestive thing he does with his cheeks) and the Whickber Street Ball is a-go!
Sorry, I just had to chuck this in again because Crowley's face here absolutely kills me every time. He looks so confused, I am hollering.
And the heart eyes Aziraphale is making at Nina and Maggie now that they're actually here?
Oh, bless it, angel.
He's all like "Oh look, it's working! Jane was right! It's all going to be resolved, all the misunderstanding and quarrels! Crowley, where's Crowley–"
Ah yes, there he is.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is an angel who is not listening to a single word being said right now. No, in his head, Aziraphale is already down on one knee, pouring his heart out to Crowley after they just danced the night away.
Oh, yes, right. The dancing.
Parallel much?
But well, as marvellous and beautifully romantic as her stories tend to be, it turns out that Jane Austen isn't always right after all. Because before we know it, the perfect night shatters into many-a tiny pieces (literally).
And once again, fhwack:
... the rosy bubble bursts.
Let's take one more deep breath so I can make my final point:
In S2E2, Aziraphale explains to us very exactly what Jane's Balls (hrhr) used to be about: Solving miscommunication and confessing love to one another.
During his car journey back from Edinburgh, Aziraphale:
doesn't know Crowley's Mission Lovebirds had failed
remembers 1941 and just how badly he's in love with Crowley
and also realizes that they seem to have been wildly miscommunicating for quite some time now. (Crowley didn't even tell him he basically got let go!)
So, what does maddeningly strong love plus a want to resolve all the miscommunication equal? That's right: A night to remember! A Ball to change it all! A dance, a vol-au-vent, a confession. And, ideally, a happy ever after. Because:
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man angel in possession of a good fortune Jane Austen collection, must be in want of a wife demon husband.”
The Ball was never for Nina and Maggie. As a byproduct, maybe, yes. But the whole rest of the glimmer and glamour, the careful, romantic planning and set up of it all, the book-bating the other shopkeepers– that was for Crowley and Crowley only.
And oh, if only it were as easy as in the books.
*whispers* I'm sorry, I had to.
***
Your honour, the tinfoil-hat crackpot defence rests. Feel free to share thoughts (and prayers) if you want to!
Au revoir! 💗
#good omens season 2#good omens#gos2#go2#good omens 2#good omens meta#good omens s2#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#my own meta#the bloody vol-au-vents made me do it#aziraphale has balls#truly#jaune austen ball#it is a truth universally acknowledged that this show is going to drive me out of my mind#azi just wanted his silly little love confession#but then he had to surrender the angle#bummer
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━ 𝐅*𝐂𝐊 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑.
-ˏˋ. 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ˊˎ-
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 — FWB!matthew tkachuk x f!reader 𝐰𝐜 — 1.7k 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 — "old habits die hard..." — or, your boyfriend won’t fuck you right, so you run to the one person who always does.
𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 — patrons know the chokehold this toxic sin-fest has on me and probably always will... in all seriousness, this is one of my favorite things i've ever published and i am so insanely proud of it. i hope you love it as much as i do <3
(spoiler — not possible teehee)
18+ MDNI — content warnings under the cut.
𝐜𝐰 — profanity, innuendo, matthew’s filthy mouth and lack of morals, cheating (not on matty or the reader), outdated/incorrect information about having sex for the first time, borderline too much degradation, some objectification to add a little spice, unprotected sex w a cheeky creampie (what did you expect from two morally bankrupt individuals written by me, a retired whore?), matthew being a noncommittal, possessive piece of shit joking about knocking people up for funzies
────────────
“D’you think you’re so addicted to my cock because you know I don’t give a fuck what you think about me? Or care if you think I’m a Nice Guy?”
Even buried to the hilt—bare with nothing between you and far too fucking close for comfort—Matthew Tkachuk runs his mouth like he’s got nothing to lose and even less to prove. He’s insufferable, his only redeeming quality being the pulsing appendage threatening to split you in half as you buck in his lap.
With your hands braced against his hard chest for leverage, you drown out his grating voice, chasing the white-hot surges, bolts of lightning leading you to the brink of collapse with renewed vigor.
The sooner you come, the sooner he’s gone.
“All I care about, sweetheart, is fucking you good and hard. Giving it to you like the hungry, cockdrunk whore that you are.”
Debonair attitude. Sly confidence. Vulgar demeanor.
Filthy fucking mouth.
You were warned about Matthew Tkachuck. Repeatedly. Warned about him and his complete lack of a filter, about his total disregard for anyone’s feelings but his own. His aversion to commitment, to monogamy, to propriety.
All the things that repulse you about the man lounging on expensive hotel sheets beneath you—as you do all the work—lure you back to him in equal measure. He shouldn’t turn you on, but that’s exactly why he does. He’s all wrong, wrong, wrong.
Which makes him just right.
“I bet if your fiancé walked in right now, you’d just keep riding me. You wouldn’t even notice, would you? After all, you haven’t cum yet. And that’s all you care about, right? Using my cock to get your rocks off because Billy Boyfriend’s too scared to give you what you really need. Lucky for you, I’m not a fuckin’ pussy. I don’t treat you like a fragile doll because I know you’ll take anything I give you—and beg for more. I treat you like what you are, not some chaste little princess.”
You’ve been with Bill for nearly a decade, engaged for more than a year. It’ll be a spring wedding, probably. If the venue pans out, and the caterer finally calls you back with a final quote.
Perfect on paper.
He doesn’t pay attention to you the way he used to. Just throws money at the problem until he can bury himself in work again, undisturbed by you or nagging obligation.
Flowers for being three hours late, a necklace for missing dinner entirely. A trip overseas when he had to go into the office on your anniversary.
But he’s nice, so fucking nice it hurts, and more loyal than the Golden Retriever he wants to adopt after the honeymoon. After you’re settled into a custom-build nestled comfortably in the suburbs and far away from the city. White picket fence, manicured lawn, barely-there speed limits.
It's all so nauseatingly idyllic. So perfectly attuned with what you thought you wanted, what you spent your childhood coveting.
All your single friends are jealous; your committed friends are resentful. Your family loves him, and even though you’ve got a fucked up way of showing it, so do you.
And he loves you too. He’s just busy. It’ll be different once we’re settled, he says. You try to believe him, though not as hard as you should. You tell yourself it's because he doesn’t either.
Bill’s gotten lazy. You’ve gotten bored.
You’re no angel, and never claimed to be. You just want to feel good.
Matthew barks out a dry laugh, almost like he can read your mind.
“You haven’t been since I first got you on your knees at his birthday party. And definitely not after I popped that sweet cherry you were so adamant about saving for him."
Bill doesn’t fuck you. He never has.
He makes love to you. It’s that romance-novel tenderness that got you here in the first place. Slow, sweet, and nearly devoid of passion. It’s so gentle you have to think of him just to come.
How he fucks you.
How tightly he yanks your hair, craning your neck until it aches. How hard he kneads and smacks your ass, bullying the skin until you sob. How deep his cock reaches. And how he takes, takes, takes without forethought. How could you accept a lifetime of only tame rutting in the face of Pavlovian depravity?
It’s awful, and it's so profoundly selfish, but his everything has you in a bind.
Matthew’s everything is ruining your life.
An uncharacteristic wave of guilt and sadness washes over you, and before you can catch yourself, you’re staring down at the engagement ring. The band constricts, digging into your finger like it's out for blood when you glimpse the indentation it left behind on Matthew’s peck. You wince, then choke down the shame lodged in your throat, screwing your eyes shut to will it away.
“If it's bothering you that much, take it off. I’ll keep it safe for you.” —wink— “I can’t imagine the weight of a rock like that, especially one you don’t even deserve. But, if you actually felt as guilty as you claim to, you wouldn’t be this wet on another man’s cock. Don’t play saint now. You’ll ruin the fun.”
You can’t do this right now; you can’t have this worn-out fight. So, you say what you always say even though you’ve long since stopped trying to mean it.
“You keep saying that, sweetheart. We should stop. This is the last time. But no matter what you say, you always come crawling back to me sooner or later because I have what you need. Because I’m not him. Because I fuck you better.”
His words light you on fire. You hate it, but how deeply your body enjoys them is undeniable. How tightly you squeeze and flutter with every degrading line, choking his cock as you use him to satisfy your own perverted needs. How his brutal honesty, his refusal to let you forget your zealous participation in the affair for even a second, arches your back and hardens your nipples.
Even without all that evidence stacked against you, the blitzed-out look on your face says it all. One look at you and everyone would know just how right Matthew is.
“Shut the fuck up,” you growl.
You say it for the sake of saying it. To know, when you curl into Bill's side tonight, that you said something to deny his assessment of you.
But the last thing you want is for him to shut his mouth.
Not right now, not when you’re right there—
“You can’t hide from me, sweetheart, and you can’t lie to me. You can’t fool me, either. I see right fucking through you. It terrifies you—and you love it.”
His raspy voice swims freely through your hollowed-out mind. It unwittingly thumbs through every unforgivable memory, like some sort of pornographic Rolodex.
Matthew’s hips grinding against yours in darkened corners and dive-bar bathroom stalls and poker tables.
His hands fighting against hard-earned sweat in the foggy backseat of his car, battling to find purchase anywhere he can so he can keep rutting with reckless abandon before you’re expected home.
His fingertips burrowing into the sides of your throat, hard enough to bruise, hard enough to silence, hard enough to hurt.
Him spilling inside of you, ropes painting the sacred place white with no remorse or expectation of responsibility.
Matty’s hand over your mouth, urging you to be fucking quiet as he pistons in and out, in and out, keeping you pinned against the bathroom door, against the only thing standing between Bill and the worst discovery of his apple-pie life—
Old habits die hard.
Especially when it’s one that always feels that fucking good. No matter how lecherous or immoral.
Or how badly the betrayal would hurt someone underserving and innocent.
“Even if you walk down that aisle and take his last name, you’ll still belong to me. Wedding or not, this pathetic, weeping cunt belongs to me. But it’s all gonna be okay, though. Don’t you worry that pretty, empty head. I don’t mind sharing my toys. Especially with someone who could never compete.”
You can't compete where you don't compare.
He doesn’t want to be your boyfriend. He doesn’t want to be anyone’s boyfriend. He isn’t the Relationship Type. He doesn’t even want to be exclusive. That’s part of his appeal, no matter how fervently you deny it. He doesn’t want more than pleasure—primal, deviant pleasure—and that’s all you're looking for.
That's all you need.
“Where do you want my load, dirty girl?”
“Inside. I-Inside me, please, Matty.”
“Right answer.”
The burst of warmth is like getting a perfect grade you didn’t earn. Or feeling the cash your sibling gave you in exchange for not ratting them out sitting in your back pocket. It's hard to feel bad about the wrong you’ve done when the payoff is so deliciously worthwhile.
Matthew twitches, still hugged by your sensitive walls, and you shudder.
This is the high you chase every time you bend your morals until they splinter. The still nothingness that lays beyond the denouement, where everything is glowy and the pit inside you appears not-so-bottomless for once. The lack of expectations and obligations. The sheer freedom that stringless pleasure, that sensual self-indulgence provides.
Matthew doesn’t owe you anything, you don’t owe him anything either, and neither of you pretends otherwise.
And you sure as fuck don’t trip on his dirty laundry every time you walk into the bedroom.
“If that doesn’t take,” Matthew flicks his hips in emphasis, “…let me know when and where you want your wedding present, sweetheart.”
You don’t answer. You push his hands away and roll off of him unceremoniously. But he keeps talking.
Matthew is always talking.
“Oh, and before I forget, would you be a dear and let Billy know I won’t be able to make it for his bachelor party? I don’t know why, but I have the oddest feeling that something desperately needing my attention will come up.”
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love sick — 05. it’s all cliché and full of obvious red flags
romance 101; guideline #18 — before anything else, to love someone is to love yourself first.
the squeak of the ball hitting the ground and shoes sliding across the vinyl flooring were the sounds you heard as you spent the past hour or so watching grown men consistently smashing a ball. you were one to play your roles well but you did not find that much of an interest in sports in general. you understood why people enjoyed them but it never really became your “thing”. as you watch your quote-en-quote boyfriend on the court, you’re beginning to see the appeal.
you had eyes, it was no wonder why so many people fell for suna rintarou if you only consider his physical attributes from afar. maybe it was his gaze? It was the kind that lures you in, he doesn’t look particularly interested most of the time, perhaps that was why people get a kick when he reacts differently. people have their preferences so you wouldn’t put it past them to be attracted to suna’s kind, those who make you want to learn more about them because of how reserved they are.
you look at your phone to check the time, it is 1:30 pm, their practice was supposed to end early. “early” because they began at around 6 in the morning, you could never even imagine running in the morning.
you sighed, it wasn’t like being in the gymnasium was that bad. your friends, atsumu and kageyama were here too since they were part of the team but other than that you were a total loner. sure, there are some other people here with business you don’t know of and some just there to watch and you could probably approach one of them to get some company… but that meant you had to further the conversation, you usually do have a lot of things to say but that’s exactly the problem.
your mind wanders to a conversation you had with a person the other day instead, their name was��� hayami? yeah, it was hayami. she wanted to approach you about this certain situation she was in. her friend of four years confessed to her and she didn’t know what to do because she didn’t know if she liked him back in that way. throughout the years she’s had several “what-ifs” about liking this friend but it was never really a strong emotion. now that he’s confessed to her, she doesn’t know how to properly respond and she ended up running away from him. she's afraid he thinks she hates him now.
the first thing you told her was that it was okay to feel confused because she didn’t have to name a proper emotion for it right now, being “sure” of liking someone can take time. you advised her to tell him that she needs time to think first so he isn’t left hanging and that whatever she decides what to do, he should be able to understand. hayami voiced out her worries that she didn’t want to hurt his feelings because of how much she treasured their friendship. you replied by stating that not saying and telling what she meant from the beginning could hurt her and him more in the long run.
“head in the clouds?” a voice you’ve recently become used to reach your ears. you jerk your head back only to see suna in front of you, a towel slung over his shoulder.
“are you done?” your shoulders resigned from the previous bit of shock at his presence, you really were too lost in your thoughts.
“yeah, i’ll just get some things from the changing room,” he said, you nodded while your eyes drifted behind him. atsumu was wiggling his eyebrows at you and you resisted the urge to grimace.
“i’ll go with you,” you exclaim, sick and tired of sitting on the bench.
“didn’t know [name] the sweetheart was such a perv,” suna raised a brow at you.
“excuse you?” you asked, confused.
“i’m going to change,” suna deadpanned, “if you wanted to watch i’d let you.”
you shook your head, at a loss for words for once in your life, “that was obviously not what i meant, but i’ve already had my hands on you, right?” you smile, recalling yesterday when you bombarded him with a hug acting like a girlfriend who missed her boyfriend very very much. your mind was then brought back to your cupcakes which were unapologetically ruined, you mourn your hours of hard work, “so what’s a little sight-seeing?” you continue to tease, standing up.
now you’ve made him speechless, he thought he could win? hah not as long as you still have your wits about you.
“nice to know you think i’m such a view, i’d assume you enjoyed yourself for the past few hours then?” suna started walking before you could retort, you were left to follow him with a small smile on your face due to amusement.
on your way to the lockers, you saw kageyama still practicing, he really could not catch a break, wasn’t practice over? meanwhile, atsumu was making grand gestures towards you and suna, and you wished you had something to throw at him. unfortunately for you and fortunate for him, you only brought your phone out with you today (you had no classes, okay, you initially planned to catch up on some reading today, ann liang’s this time it’s real—which was coincidentally about fake dating as well—was waiting for you at home).
“hey, what were you going to give me today?” you finally ask, you didn’t get to properly talk about it with him since he was busy training. you were leaning on the wall next to the entrance of their changing rooms, he was the only one in there so it was fine to act casual.
it took a minute or two before suna finally came out, duffel bag over his shoulder where the towel once was and cloth scrunched in his hands. said cloth was then tossed to you, you almost dropped it since your reflexes aren’t that quick.
“my extra jersey, wear it on the game this sat,” suna said casually as he watched you hold his jersey up, the number 7 plastered on it, the name suna on the back. how many times have you read and watched main characters in books and films cheer for their significant other while wearing their jerseys? now you are going to partake in that sports romance trope, how funny reality can be!
“oh is that all? what else do we do for today?” your head tilts to the side.
“i heard there’s an event in the campus grounds today, i was thinking we could go there since there would be a lot of people,” suna urged you to start walking and follow him with a simple nudge of his head.
“alright, i’ll warn you now though i didn’t bring any money,” you said with a skip in your step, still clutching the shirt since you don’t have anywhere to leave it in, “can you put this in your bag first, though?”
“who said you were paying?” he said casually while taking his jersey and placing it in his bag for a second.
you froze for a moment, “could you stop acting like a k-drama male lead?”
this made suna chuckle, he chuckled, you don’t think you’ve even seen the man smile, “you caught on quickly, huh? osamu’s been recommending me shows so that i could ‘learn by example’ whatever that means.”
right, you keep forgetting the suna is in the same friend group as atsumu and his brother, you know there’s this other guy in the group too named omiomi something? atsumu wouldn’t shut up about him. you’ve met osamu briefly before but you wouldn’t say that you were properly acquainted with him, you do see him a lot on campus because you get startled by how much him and atsumu look alike.
“i’m a matchmaker, i’m clearly well-versed in all forms of romantic media,” you say in a ‘duh’ tone.
“you can carry us then, acting romantic isn’t for me,” suna shrugged.
“no, you have to do your part,” you insist, as you step out of the gymnasium.
“what you want me to hold your hand or something?”
“that would be a good start,” you say, holding your hand out to him. he stares at it as if it’s some unknown species, and then he wordlessly extends his hand to intertwine with yours.
masterlist — previous | next
❥ fun facts !
it was only recently that [name] got addicted to strawberry flavored drinks.
semi has gigs weekly that [name] always goes to watch.
atsumu once during april fools convinced osamu to wear matching clothes from head to toe and wear matching caps to see how many people would confuse them for each other.
love sick ! a suna rintarou social media au
synopsis. cupid! calling cupid! as the resident matchmaker slash hopeless romantic of tokyo university, you are the person people look for to get love advice or to set them up with the love of their lives. when suna rintarou comes to you asking for the opposite, to help fend people away from trying to get with him, to the extremes of even asking to fake date you, you couldn't refuse! mostly because you did owe him since he was on the receiving end of a bunch of your clients’ unsuccessful love efforts (hey, you do warn them your matchmaking only has a 62.3% success rate).
a/n — gotta love a man that insults you (just kidding, suna rintarou is the exception).
taglist is OPEN ! + (1/2) @yas-mjm @agirlwholovesalot @yenqa @fairywriter-oracle @noideawhothatis @alienvarmint @renardiererin @cheezitwh0re @yaboiithewreck @zephestia @nicerthanu @wolffmaiden @2baddies-1porsche @bluegrey02 @qualitygiantshoepsychic @lylovw @fo-love @cloudsvna @haruskatana @apinu @coyloves @rockleeisbaeeee @geombyu @girlkissersco @reveusecherie @mwhahahalasagna @megumiif @erenjvegerrr @thechaosoflonging @rintarousgirl @ris-krispie @kamikokii @complexivelovely @justabreadslice @hearts4faey @yuzurins @eleanorheartschishiya @hearts4itoshi @justsomeonewhoyoudontknow @rijhi @sleepystrwbrryy @snail-squasher @seiamor @wave2love @le000xxgrd @iuspired @theidontknowmehn @linmabbe @rntrsuna @tenaciouswritersheep
if i can not tag you, please change your mentions settings to “everyone” thank you!
#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu smau#haikyuu fluff#hq x reader#hq#haikyuu x you#suna rintarou x reader#fake dating#college au#haikyuu smau series#suna rintarou x you#haikyuu suna rintarou#— love sick.#— smaus.#suna rintarou#suna#rintarou#haikyuu suna#haikyuu rintarou#suna x reader#haikyuu suna x reader
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"So life is good, Harry? Things working out as you want?" Skeeter asked, glancing over her glasses at the man, her Quick-Quotes Quill working away.
Harry, smiling, watched her take a drink of her tea and then opened his arms as if to say this was it, sitting in his studio, serving tea to Rita Skeeter.
"I'm surprised you finally decided to sit down with me," she grinned, a little wicked gleam in her eyes, "but as promised, I'll keep the quips to myself."
He shrugged a shoulder, and relaxed, "do your worst, Skeeter."
The interview went smoothly, even sharing a few laughs - ones from Harry in annoyance more often than not as she tried to pry more private information from him ("we've seen you around with Malfoy? Friends now?" "Whatever happened to that Weasley girl?"), but she knew as the hours dwindled time was running out and she wanted to ask. The readers would be dying to know, when they caught sight of the front page image of Harry Potter just in an apron and jeans, sweating as he worked at the pottery wheel in the morning sun.
"Thank you for the tea, Potter. I do suppose I have one more question, for everyone." Harry gave a nod, waiting. "Why this, after all the work and the accomplishments? Why did you invest here, in this?"
Harry grinned, looking around at everything he made, all of his hard work and quick earned sales that kept him happy, busy, and afloat. Though, he wouldn't tell her that. Instead, he stood and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans, "made sense I suppose. Potter a potter."
hope this is okay.... but uh.
@slyssnakes shared this with us, and then I spent all morning thinking about it and wrote this trash. so... anyway. hey go check out their artwork, too much talent not to be admired!
#potter potter#harry james potter#hp#sorry it was literally eating at me all morning#lol#kiz writes#just some trash that i couldn't get out of my head after slyssnakes shared their amazing work with us#hope you don't mind#i'll see myself out now#drarry#intentions#draco malfoy
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From an incorrect quote generator
If Melody was a human tho
Phoebe: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE Melody: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially Phoebe, desperately, as Melody bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE Melody: Oh! B positive. Phoebe: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE Melody:
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Phoebe: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming Melody: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak
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Phoebe: Whaddya call a fish with no eye? Melody, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons Phoebe: Phoebe: fsh
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Phoebe: So what's for dinner? Melody, staring at the food she just burnt: Regret.
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Callie: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone. Phoebe: Mine just says "Phoebe no." Callie: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.
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Trevor: Not elegant enough to be a vampire, not jock enough to be a werewolf... Phoebe: Goblin it is.
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Trevor: My head hurts. Phoebe: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.
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Computer: Please enter a password. Phoebe: *types in Melody* Computer: Your password is too weak. Phoebe: How fucking DARE YOU-
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Phoebe: So what are your political beliefs? Podcast: Well, I think Pikachu would be a lot more powerful if he had a gun.
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Callie: You spent all our money on THIS?? Gary, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: They live outside. They need this.
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Phoebe: Why are you on fire? Melody: This is just how my day is going.
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Podcast: Change is inedible.
Phoebe: Don't you mean inevitable?
Podcast, spitting out coins: No, I did not.
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Phoebe: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.--
[translation: I’M SORRY]
Callie: What's that?
Phoebe: Remorse code.
Callie: I'm even angrier now.
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Phoebe: I don’t do relationships.
Melody: *exists*
Phoebe: Shit.
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Trevor: Kissing can burn 26 calories in a minute, wanna work-out with me? ;)
Lucky: Are you saying that I'm fat?
Trevor: No that's not what I meant I-
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Phoebe: Podcast... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Podcast: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
Phoebe:
Phoebe: I wrote sanitize, Podcast.
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Callie, tending to Trevor’s wounds: How would you rate your pain?
Trevor: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.
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Peck: I'm going to ask you to be respectful. Phoebe: I will politely decline.
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Podcast: I’m having one of those things! A headache with pictures!! Phoebe: you mean an idea..? Podcast: MMMMHHMMM!!
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Phoebe: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though. Trevor: You need to stop.
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Phoebe: How did none of you hear what I just said? Callie: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Gary: I got distracted about halfway through. Trevor: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
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If Melody was a human, again
Phoebe: HELP! I TOLD MELODY I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK! Trevor, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?
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Podcast: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time? Phoebe: The car takes a screenshot. Trevor: For the last time, get the fuck out.
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Gary, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him Callie: You did WHAT– Phoebe: William Snakepeare
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Trevor: You look nice, I want to kiss you. Lucky: What? Trevor: I SAID IF YOU DIED, I WOULDN’T MISS YOU.
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Gary: The best revenge, really, is being nice! Podcast: [in the distance] Or murder.
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Gary: That’s one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut... Callie: You would eat yourself? Gary: I wouldn’t even question it.
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Phoebe: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO- Melody: It was me... Phoebe: ...Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.
#phoebe spengler#melody ghostbusters#phoebe x melody#incorrect quotes#if melody actually had blood#ghostbusters frozen empire#adding them as they appear#like editing if i find another one#callie spengler#trevor spengler#podcast#gary grooberson#lucky ghostbusters#walter peck#checkmatch
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