iamrootusr

[iamrootusr]

An adventuring party is in a cage suspended over acid the wizard clears his throat "I just sent a message to my wife she should be here to save us soon." "Wait your married?" Said the rouge "more importantly what is she gonna." The paladin is interrupted by a massive explosion.

[iamrootusr]

I need book recommendations...I have a Kindle Unlimited subscription, and my recommended reads are full of "Santa Creamed my Cookies" holiday reads and I'm just.... ffs you read one weird Christmas book because the premise sounds dorky enough to work. No, KU I don't want to read any Sports romances. I'm not even into IRL sports unless I'm the only playing them. No, I don't want to read about the Manny (though I'm sure he's hot).

No, I don't want to read about the hitman-turned-assassin-turned-bodyguard-turned-frienemies-to-lovers.

I'm already over my Academy phase. I don't want to read yet another book about another secretly-the-chosen-one-who-was-utterly-normal-until-the-second-paragraph. I'm in my thirties ffs, can I get some books about the faculty instead maybe? Minus the weird forbidden-student-teacher dynamic?

And I'm nearly quite done with the-$SPECIES-are-here-and-dangerous-but-oh-no-he's-hot. Though I can be talked into it, if the plot is more than yet another poor-human-snuck-into-$LOCALE-and-has-to-pretend-they're-supposed-to-be-there. After a point the weird-and-deadly competitions to justify their presence just aren't interesting.

Where are the books that are unapologetically weird? Or fun? Or just plain ludicrous? I want banter, romance, and preferably fantasy/scifi. Light on the cringe suspense, if any, preferably. Mystery itself is fine.

Is Romantic Urban Paranormal just not en vogue right now? Or is it just getting buried under all the other not-to-my-taste that's showcased instead? I want dragons dammit. Or wolves, or vampires, or tentacles, or aliens or whatever-have-you.

It doesn't help that a good quarter of my KU recommendations are books I've already read. Or sequels. I don't mind paying for a good read too, but I only have so much money to spend on books at the end of the year >.>

I want a series to binge dammit.

[iamrootusr]

like the first rule of cooking is to have fun and be yourself and the first rule of baking is to stay calm because the dough can sense fear

[iamrootusr]

Your friend keeps giving you very random gifts at completely random times. It seemed like an odd but nice gesture, until you realise each gift has saved your life from any sort of incident some time after accepting it.

[iamrootusr]

It just kills me when writers create franchises where like 95% of the speaking roles are male, then get morally offended that all of the popular ships are gay. It’s like, what did they expect?

[iamrootusr]

Apple Pie Crisp

For your Crispy Top:

1:1:1:1 ratio of flour, quick oats, sugar and brown sugar.

1 cup Flour 1 cup sugar 1 cup brown sugar 1 cup quick oats 1/4 teaspoon of baking soda 1/4 teaspoon of baking powder 1/2 cup of melted butter

Mix your dry's. Then cream the butter into the mix. You want a crumbly texture. If it's not crumbly enough, add more butter. Feel free to add some cinnamon to the mix too.

For your filling, I just steal the a modified version of the King Arthur Apple Pie filling, minus the butter:

8 cups (964g) peeled, sliced apple (from about 3 1/4 pounds whole apples)

2 tablespoons (28g) lemon juice

3/4 cup (149g) granulated sugar

2 tablespoons (14g) King Arthur Unbleached All-Purpose Flour

2 tablespoons (14g) cornstarch or Instant ClearJel

1/4 teaspoon table salt

1 teaspoon cinnamon*

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg*

1/4 teaspoon allspice*

1/4 cup (85g) boiled cider or 1/4 cup (80g) apple juice concentrate, optional

2 teaspoons King Arthur Pure Vanilla Extract, optional

This is where it gets fun. I highly recommend parboiling your apples before you pour them all into your baking dish. Parboiling means that they'll have a slight crunch, even after baking. This can be done in a variety of ways, such as boiling them in water or hot cider for 10 minutes before coating them. My preference, however, is to toss the apples, seasonings and all (not the crisp topping), into vacuum sealed or ziplock bags, then use a Sous Vide cooker.

To parboil with a Sous-Vide cooker (such as an Anova): Pre-heat your cooker to 160°F Cook apple bag for 1 hour in the sous-vide.

Preheat your oven to 350°F.

Then dump your apple pie filling into a baking dish, top with the Crisp topping, and bake for 1 hour.

[iamrootusr]

GOD. GOD. JUST IMAGINE ALL THE SHIT TIM AND ALFRED HAVE BEEN WITNESS TO FOR THIS TO BE THEIR IMMEDIATE REACTION. THIS IS A FORMER MI6 AGENT WHO STILL HAS RAISED BRUCE SINCE HE WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD AND ROBIN THE BOY WONDER WHO BUTTED HIS WAY INTO THIS LIFE AND REFUSED TO LEAVE NO MATTER HOW MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE BATMAN WAS TO HIM. THESE ARE BATTLE HARDENED WARRIORS. AND THESE TWO PEOPLE, WHO HAVE WALKED THROUGH HELL AND CAME BACK FOR MORE, TOOK ONE LOOK AT DICK GRAYSON SQUARING UP TO ARGUE WITH BRUCE AND SAID "THAT'S IT, THAT'S MY LIMIT, I'M OUT OF HERE."

[iamrootusr]

Legend has it she still flops around ireland👀

[iamrootusr]

i wish i could look at this… and feel Normal™️

[iamrootusr]

Listen, if I had the time I would just make Justice Leauge the mockumentary, lol.

[iamrootusr]

Dec 4: Remember that time we learned Clark Kent totally peeked at all his Christmas presents with his X-Ray vision? (Justice League, “Comfort and Joy”)

[iamrootusr]

[iamrootusr]

An rpg that starts off in new game+ but the party has no memories of their original adventure but everyone else does.

[iamrootusr]

me explaining to the other trainers that apricorns are unknown outside of Johto because of deliberate suppression by the Silph and Devon corporations to present artificial pokeballs as the only means of capturing pokemon and establish regional monopolies after they eliminate renewable sources

[iamrootusr]

5 simple exercises to awaken dormant muscles

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[iamrootusr]

An incomplete taxonomy of esoteric texts:

This text is discussing esoteric subject matter

This text is being deliberately obscure because its author knows they don't have a coherent thesis and they're blowing smoke

This text is written in earnest, but its author has very poor communication skills

This text's translator has misunderstood something that was meant completely literally as a complex metaphor

This text is actually perfectly straightforward in its native language, but every available translation fucking sucks

[iamrootusr]

I have a fantasy novel in my brain inspired by a dream I had when I was in college, and I want to write about it someday.

The story takes place on a world that is a flat, infinite plane. Every morning the miniature sun of this world rises vertically out of the caldera of a volcano. Its light and heat allows a circle of the plane to be warmed, and it falls and sets in the same volcano every night.

Immediately surrounding the volcano is a world of blasted and blackened stone. Beyond that is a Goldilocks zone of temperate climate, where most of the populace of this world lives. And at the very edge of civilization is a ring of snow and freezing winds, where the very last of the sun's light and heat feebly tries to warm the world.

Beyond that ring - beyond the spotlight of life illuminated by the miniature sun - is a world of darkness and ice. No light, no life, no heat. Explorers say every day that there must be worlds beyond the one lit by their own sun, and venture into the shadow and frost to find them.

They never return.

And then one day in the village of Longshadow - a village at the furthest edge of the sun's light, where shadows only ever stretch in one direction - someone returns from the darkness. They say they found something in the ice.

They say they found a sun in chains.