#why can’t I be perfect
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maybe it’ll get better if I get worse
#this is a girlblog#girlblogging#just girly posts#just girly things#just girly thoughts#lana del rey#girlhood#lizzy grant#coquette#female madness#femcel#female manipulator#sadgirl#i’m going insane#i’m so tired#i’m just a girl#i’m going crazy#i want to weigh less#i want to disappear#i wanna be perfect#why am i like this#why can’t I be perfect#girl interrupted#insane girl#i am slowly going insane#i need a lobotomy
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IF 👏🏼 YOU 👏🏼 ARE 👏🏼 MAD 👏🏼 THAT 👏🏼 THE 👏🏼 SHOW 👏🏼 ISNT 👏🏼 A 👏🏼 PERFECT 👏🏼 CARBON 👏🏼 COPY 👏🏼 OF 👏🏼 THE 👏🏼 BOOKS 👏🏼 THEN 👏🏼 LISTEN 👏🏼 TO 👏🏼 THE 👏🏼 AUDIOBOOK 👏🏼 WITH 👏🏼 YOUR 👏🏼 EYES 👏🏼 CLOSED 👏🏼 AND 👏🏼 MAKE 👏🏼 ONE 👏🏼 YOURSELF
#none of you have ever written for television and it shows#why didn’t they just do xyz? because the show runners can’t bend time and space and poodles are expensive#is the show perfect? no but is it a poor adaptation? ALSO NO#adapting literally means becoming better suited to a new environment#NEWS FLASH tv shows aren’t books#it has to ADAPT#i said what i said#percy jackson#pjo#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo tv show#percy jackson tv show#pjo spoilers#percy jackson the lightning thief#pjo series
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and if I said that dennis’ insistence on being the breadwinner/provider despite literally being a pampered princess who dgaf about traditional roles of masculinity in every other regard (aside from ego) is because his mom only stayed with/chose frank for his wealth and dennis is highly aware that he’s difficult to love and unable to show his emotions openly so he has to be contributing something to the relationship materially in order to feel like he’s worth staying for… and mac grew up with parents who were extremely ambivalent to him and eachother so he has to overcompensate by proving his worth at every given moment and seeking praise/validation from people (and religious icons) who will never demonstrate the same amount of dedication to him but he has no idea how else to desperately keep himself close to those he loves other than by eroding himself into something they’ll approve of… dear god they’re both exactly what the other needs — someone who can’t and won’t leave them even if they try — and they don’t even see it…
#dennis thinks he’s losing his edge and mac thinks he’s perfect anyway#mac feels like no one in his life has ever needed him enough to stay but dennis can’t stay away#IM ILLLLLL about these men from the world’s stupidest sitcom#sorry if this got a little freudian I don’t LITERALLY mean it in the sense that mac/dennis are seeking something that reminds them of their#parents (gross) (although pretty character accurate to the SINNED system)#but rather that our childhoods teach us what we should expect and look out for in life#and it never really leaves us#this all stemmed from me contemplating MADMTTS and how it would’ve made way more sense for mac (high energy adhd) to be out in the world#and dennis (bpd anger issues) to be indoors free from the triggers of the world#but they INSISTED on mac being housewife dennis being breadwinner#same as their little battle over supposed roles/dynamics as hugh honey/vic vinegar/brian lefevre etc#you are two queer men why on earth do you care about sticking to heterosexual gender roles#but it was never about the gender roles it was about what they self-assign their value to…#mac and dennis#mac mcdonald#dennis reynolds#iasip#it’s always sunny in philadelphia#its always sunny#macdennis#macden
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Jim!
#okay not as wild an adaptation as I thought#can’t mess with perfection I suppose#HOWEVER the decision to have Spock CLEARLY crying at Kirk’s bedside…#why ELSE would he be hiding his face from everyone in sickbay? his shoulders are shaking!#poor spock#spock#jim kirk#leonard mccoy#star trek tos#star trek novels#amok time#james blish#star trek 3#also that jim talks to Spock first after coming back to life#aaaaaaaaa
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Yknow?
#not a perfect analogy. but I’m thinking. and I needed to draw it.#i think this is why ‘contradictory’ labels are so good. cuz I can’t just be one at a time. they bleed into each other.#my gender is like a glass of water when you put a drop of foodcoloring into it#multigender#icarus is talking
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Hi! I'm still feral for these two, would you mind giving us some art of them in their later years together!?
Hello angel!!!!
Sorry it’s taken so long to respond🫶🫶 but I wanted to draw some new art for this ask💓
We have: Sebastian and Eloise trying out their new fancy camera with a selfie, pictures of them with their daughter, and finally…idk I just always felt like this drawing is when they’re a bit older💓
I want to take this ask as an opportunity as well to talk a little about how I imagine their future (I have no chill & you can ignore this and just enjoy the art if you want😇).
I am a COMPLETE pantser - I never know how a chapter’s going to end when I start writing it (I always just have a few scenes I know I need to include to keep the plot moving forward). Although I have different *big* scenes I’m always writing towards, and themes/plot elements I’m always foreshadowing (shout out to @elliecutte for catching *almost* all of my hints and appreciating my general no chill😆), IM STILL NOT 100% SURE HOW I WILL END THINGS !!! 😳 I have a lot of endings I see as possible, and I think soon it will become more clear to me what will work the best💓
HAPPY ENDING:
Eloise and Sebastian become Unspeakables. I have a LOT of thoughts on this profession that could be its OWN post, and I feel like Unspeakables are generally specialized in one or two departments, but as their interests/research change they also change.
Eloise becomes an Unspeakable in the Mind and Death departments, with the occasional foray into Time. Her ancient magic is connected with all of these things (my version of AM is NOT like the game) & the Department of Mysteries is one of the only places that gives her any useful information about these things. Plus she thinks too much (it IS her hobby after all😆💓) and is very introverted so a hermit job like this is a perfect fit.
Sebastian becomes an Unspeakable as well, but I feel like it takes him a long time to specialize in anything, if he ever does. I just feel like becoming an Unspeakable is the adult equivalent of sneaking into the Restricted Section🥹🫶
They grow old together (I won’t explain TOO much) & have a lovely little family🥹 at least one daughter that they both dote on. Sebastian had an amazing childhood (idyllic until it wasn’t), and wants to give his daughter the same, and Eloise works hard to make sure their daughter feels the love that she never had growing up🥺
When Sirius is burned off the family tree, Eloise and Sebastian take him in🥹🫶 (they’re like 100 years old but WIZARDS LIVE LONGER…) The same happened to her all those years ago, and she wants him to know that his whole family hasn’t abandoned him.
Eloise LOVED her nieces - Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa - when they were younger, but as Voldemort becomes more powerful & people realize WHAT he’s doing, she has to separate herself from them. Her heart breaks seeing Bellatrix go mad, and seeing Narcissa engaged to a Malfoy out of obligation😔 (iykyk)
I haven’t thought any more about happy ending but I think it’s fun to think about how their future story might weave in with the actual canon events, ESPECIALLY since Eloise is a Black🥹💓
SAD ENDING:
After Sebastian gets his hands on Slytherin’s relic, it really starts to consume him and makes him even MORE obsessive than his natural tendencies - I imagine it similarly “talking” to him like Slytherin’s locket/horcrux did in Deathly Hallows (😳)
Eloise is deathly afraid of the changes she’s seeing in Sebastian and steals it from him (he would never willingly give it to her ESPECIALLY if it starts to feel like a precious item to him)
BUT the relic triggers the latent Black Family Madness in her - the madness that afflicts almost every woman in her family since…🤭 - and she herself starts to lose touch with reality. Her body and soul are already destroying themselves between the curse and the ancient magic inside of her, and the relic is what triggers it in her.
Sebastian becomes an Unspeakable, focusing on the Mind, in a desperate attempt to find a cure for his Eloise🥺
He never gives up his research, and sometimes when he comes home she is lucid and they talk about his research - otherwise, he just loves and takes care of her.
(He’s never successful in finding a way to reverse what he feels he caused in the first place - his ambition and single-mindedness is, to him, the reason why all of this happened)
Honestly who knows if I end their story either of these ways😌 I just love thinking of AUs and different endings and I have a few others I’ve considered as well!!! And whatever endings I don’t write will be immortalized on this blog and in my art as well🙏
#thank you for the ask!!!!#I have no chill when I answer these things which is why it takes me so long to answer them🥲#ngl I think the sad ending is quite romantic#but maybe I’m too chicken to follow through/what I have planned could change a lot & it won’t make sense anymore#and like I’m not COMPLETELY evil I like seeing them happy too🥺🥺#and I also really love the Black family & all of the canon characters…OFC I had to insert Eloise in that family somehow#and her mother was the PERFECT age !!!!!!!!!!! (according to the family tree)#I ALSO have a lot of thoughts on the Gaunts and actually how Ominis’s blindness prevents him from going insane like the rest of them#seem to have done by the time Tom Riddle’s around#(something something blind people can’t hallucinate so they can’t get psychosis)#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow fanart#sebastian sallow x mc#hogwarts legacy fanfic#also Sebastian’s childhood is just based on mine#I grew up in a TINY village and spent all day running outside and having adventures like crazy or readinf like crazy no in-between😆💓#ask
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Some Atla fans are deeply unwilling to engage with the fact that their beloved series may bear the marks of being written by two white men in the early 2000s. They can’t conceive that the show might’ve been anything less than perfect and that there are certain problematic elements within it that are consistently overlooked by the fandom at large.
#hence why discussing Hama is an excercise in futility#They refuse to hear it they refuse to hear that Hama was unfairly vilified by the narrative (a pattern that pervades through the subsequent#episodes as well)#Maybe I’m just a hater but sometimes I can’t believe how much faith fans have in the politics of Bryke and idolize them as the perfect#storytellers#avatar the last airbender#atla#atla netflix#avatar live action#anti bryke#atla critical#atla discourse#fandom
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MARAUDERS FANS LET JAMES POTTER BE A LITTLE BIT OF A CUNT PLEASE
#it’s ok for characters to be complex and morally imperfect sometimes#it won’t kill you I promise#he was a teenage boy let him act like a teenage boy#it does such a disservice to his character to reduce him to some perfect sunny himbo saint#he’s so much more interesting than that#why are we throwing away one of the few canon pieces of information that we have about him#literally changing his entire character and personality#let him be flawed#let him change and grow#please#if you don’t love obnoxious arrogant toerag james potter then you don’t love james potter#if you can’t handle him at his worst then you don’t deserve him at his best sorry#maybe you just don’t love him like I do#I love him for who he is not just who I want him to be#james potter#marauders#marauders era#the marauders#the marauders era#marauders fandom#hp marauders#all the young dudes#atyd#atyd marauders#atyd fandom#atyd james#marauders fanfiction#james fleamont potter
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Arcane season 2
seeing some of the comments and takes people have about Arcane is crazy, bc why is being a Caitlyn Kirammin stan starting to feel like being a Abby Anderson stan
i’m being so serious the lack of media literacy and empathy in discussions surrounding those characters is CRAZY
“i don’t like Caitlyn bc Vi chose her over Jinx” -for one thing it’s far more complicated than that, secondly be mad at Vi then?? 😭
Arcane has complex characters for a REASON, same with tlou, there is no “good” or “bad guy”. Also (no hate to Jinx bc i love the character) but bending over backwards to excuse EVERYTHING she’s done, but tearing down Caitlyn for literally anything? It’s hypocritical at this point,
#arcane#arcane netflix#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#caitvi#tlou2#tlou#abby anderson#abby tlou#i love women#especially when they rightfully get their revenge#and they look good doing it#jinx arcane#why can’t we appreciate well written female characters#most characters are morally grey#so obviously they are not perfect angels#most are also victims of circumstance#but fuck marcus
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Do you ever think about Mobs repressed anger. Do you ever think about his manga lines about just how badly Reigens lies fucked him up. Do you ever think about how he felt like nobody would actually come to help him, nobody would actually be there if he needed, nobody would actually be around him if it wasn't for the Mob persona. Do you ever think about how he felt like any good traits in him were a lie he made to be liked. Do you ever think about how he thinks the only way to be truly seen is to tear apart his life from the ground up so nobody will try to use him anymore. Do you ever think about Shigeo
”the only one who ever saved me was me” but angry! because he shouldn’t have had to save himself! (and also him Needing to shatter everyone’s perception of him in the most destructive way possible because if there’s even a chance that they genuinely liked him. that they would accept him even when he’s the monster he’s been afraid of his whole life. then everything he’s done and believed and every part of himself he’s suffocated to death- wasn’t necessary. if people other than tsubomi (or possibly ritsu as per the manga) can understand and accept him as he “truly is” then he could’ve been a Person this entire time!!)
#mp100#mp100 spoilers#sorry i can NOT let go of the confession arc breakdown yaknow#like. he’s spent so long hiding the ugly parts of him. the parts that he didn’t like. when they were what was keeping him alive#and now he’s forcing everyone to confront that he isn’t perfect because he can’t handle that part of him and also doesn’t want to be anymor#throwing all his faults in everyone’s faces so they can’t ignore it anymore. so HE can’t ignore it anymore#he wants to be accepted so so bad that he tries to make himself an irredeemable monster#and it doesn’t work because he’s human! he’s always been! he is not the exception to the rules the entire show has been building up!#and he keeps moving the goalposts too. every time someone stands up to try and help him he comes up with reasons why they’re Using Him#and just. AUGHHH
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enha comeback rumoured to be in april - june how am i supposed to go on with my day now.
#— stella can’t stfu (•̀ ᴖ •́)❗️#first of all i really wish their break was extended and that this comeback#happened around july - august#actually i really wanted it to be in october cuz so#many ppl said that this one will have a concept darker than ‘dark blood’#which is like woah first of all no one is prepared???#and second it would go so perfect w the spooky halloween vibes#like obv its gonna give vampire#so why not have it in october 💔💔💔#but i also get that that’s what the members r satisfied & happy w#honestly i’m so excited 🤞🤞
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Haven’t been keeping up with Revenant, but seeing people hold Eramis to a similar level of villainy as beings like Savathûn and Rhulk to argue against her treatment in the story (or even the fact we haven’t killed her yet) is so… I’m tired guys
#destiny 2#destiny#destiny the game#d2#destiny eramis#eramis#destiny revenant#we get the first villain we can put through the law system and people are upset we can’t farm her for exotics#anyways destiny should have more narratives that are focused on victims of these unfathomable cosmic forces beyond the hive#WHERE IS THE PSION NARRATIVE#Also I don’t understand why people expect perfect victimhood from characters that have gone through inconcievable trauma#alongside destiny betraying its themes of forgiveness and redemption because of Eramis’ story going on for longer than some people want#not everything revolving around Eramis is perfectly written but people are ignoring the context of her behaviors and the scope of them#I think we can hold her prisoner after she willing went into custody after dealing with omnicidal torturers guys#eramis they could never make me hate you#and fuck the witness dude I hate that thing#nasty asf for what it did to Eramis and Riis#hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby is just most destiny villains vs eramis#she’s done some awful shit but the beauty of a post witness universe is learning how to move forward with old enemies
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i can feel a wave of depression building up rn ☹️😧
gonna read a bunch of cherik fics to settle it down before it gets too bad
#love having depression making me sad for no fuckin reason 🤨#if i didnt have a class soon i would watch dp#although don’t know how well that would help my mood#complete character butchering in it#charles got partially depressed after becoming bald#i feel you girl#i’m not bald tho#if someone tried to watch the xmen films in chronological order i wonder how confused they would be to see raven die and then come back#this is why you watch it by release order#still doesn’t make sense cause the writer haven’t got a clue on how to keep things consistent but anyway#my brain is being depressed but also trying to figure out how to structure a fic#i havent written one in years#i got the sense of it needing to be perfect first try#need to get rid of that mindset asap#i got the weirdest combo of being mentally ill and emotionally intelligent#it pisses me off sometimes#i don’t need a therapist i have myself telling me whats what#thats a lie i do need to talk to people#why can’t i think of cherik 24/7 why do i need to have problems? ☹️#anyway i’m bored and im gonna figure out what to do with myself before my class starts#prob read a fic figure out how these people write while also enjoy the stories#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#x men#magneto#professor x
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Maximus is the constellation, and I am but a humble astronomer spending my life studying him
#my head is ever tilted upward#is there anything more beautiful in the heavens???#honestly though#it’s like being in love with something so distant and impossible to reach#but so dear and precious to my heart that i can’t stay away from it#every time i watch gladiator i’m reminded of why i fell in love with him in the first place#because he’s so perfect and kind and handsome and honorable and strong#the world may turn on in its orbit but i remain fixed with my gaze upon the skies#hi everyone welcome to the melodramatic corner of the internet#HE DESERVES IT#he deserves all the mushy poetic romantic things i could ever say#my sweet perfect beloved husband i just ADORE him#gladiator#text posts#maximus#maximus decimus meridius#gladiator 2000#russell crowe
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It’s the way that Buck’s view on Tommy was so so so similar to Buck’s initial view of Eddie. Man doesn’t know how to deal with his attraction so he runs in the opposite direction and “hates” them (but can’t stop talking about them) until things finally blow up (injured Eddie —> kiss Tommy) or don’t (you can have my back any day)
#like whatever you wanna believe this is just evidence that Buck was attracted to Eddie immediately in season 2#like ignore the family they’ve built since this is just like immediate attraction he didn’t know how to deal with#so he went all ahh I don’t like it why can’t I get him out of my head ah I must hate him agh why is he so perfect and competent#and now with Tommy it’s similar it’s like ooo this guy is interesting oh no he likes Eddie more?? AND he’s replacing me???#grrrr hes so good at flying helicopters and saving lives i hate it#*kiss* wow I was so wrong HES SO GOOD AT FLYING HELICOPTERS AND SAVING LIVES#also he as a cleft ☺️👀#911 fandom#evan buck buckley#eddie diaz#tommy kinard#911 abc#911 buddie#buddie#bucktommy#tevan#kinkley#911#911 show
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Me: *has 6 late assignments in my Comp II college class*
Also Me:
“You know what sounds really good right now?”
“Rewatching WTRB season 1 again”
#yet i still haven’t watched season 2#I can’t bring myself to watch it until I have the perfect conditions to watch it all in 1 night without any intruptions#I don’t know why it has to be the perfect conditions#💀#hello neighbor welcome to raven brooks#welcome to raven brooks#wtrb#hello neighbor#trinity bales#enzo esposito#maritza esposito#ivan torre#theodore peterson#delroy#hello neighbor wtrb#hello neighbour welcome to raven brooks#hello neighbor nicky#nicky x trinity#trinity x nicky#mr peterson#WTRB hello neighbor#season 2
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