#why can I only write angst

[phoebepheebsphibs]

Chapter 12 of Hide and Seek is up...

...Here we go.

[phoebepheebsphibs]

This reminded me of the fact that I want to write a small fic about the bois and their recovery, like how Leo kept passing out and probably needed surgery, Raph had after-effects of krangification, Mikey also kept passing out from the sudden surge of power he exerted, and Donnie needed help with the tears in his shell.

Nothing too angsty or whumpish, but mostly just hurt-to-comfort and showing them softly getting better

I thought about the movie lately and I think there's no way Leo could still walk after they got him from the prison dimension and didn't pass out at least three times on the way back to the lair.

[stealingyourbones]

Out of all of the people The Ghost King Phantom expected to relate to, it definitely wasn’t the scrawny red headed photographer of the Daily Planet. Jimmy Olsen has gotten so many temporary superpowers over his time being Superman’s friend. Hell, he once gained a 4th dimensional being’s reality warping abilities when he was given said dimensional being’s powers during a fight. Sure there’s a dozen or so heroes with the same amount of powers he has, but none as suddenly granted to them as a all powerful god that can relate to a teenager.

[aesterblaster]

Sleepin Demons

How Blue Lock characters wake up from nightmares/How you can comfort them [Gender neutral reader]

Tropes: Reverse Comfort, Fluff/Angst, Established Relationship, and general warnings for some gore and mentions of flashbacks along with implied sexual harassment

Characters: Almost All Of Them Lol

Songs: Insecure - Bren Joy // Coffee for Dinner - Orion Sun // Broken Clocks - SZA

The Silent Type + Actual Memories

It's the same one again. He's right back where he started. Unloved, unknown, left out of everything. The pangs of hunger run through him like a freight train as he desperately runs from room to room in his childhood home...But there's no nourishment. Someone calls his name but all he feels is fear at being recognized, he cowers as a figure rounds the corner and says his name again. "You think you could get away from me? Huh?" It could be anyone, a parent, someone he used to owe money to, an old abusive coach, all he knows is what comes next is going to hurt. "Are you fucking crying? You're so pathetic, soon everyone else will see that just like I always have!" The floor begins to sag and give way, everything creases in on itself. His brain feels like it's going to explode.

When he wakes up- his brain still feels as if it's too big for his skull, pushing against the edges like it's trying to find its way out. But he doesn't groan in pain, and he doesn't move. You're next to him after all, breathing softly. The moonlight grounds him, your hand against his side grounds him, he is safe now. The best thing you can do is stay asleep. He isn't ready to talk and admit that he's weak (or even worse...the fact that it is okay to be weak sometimes), not yet. For now he just snuggles against you and quietly brushes away any residual tears, thanking everything he believes in that he's here with you now.

Kaiser, Hiori, Naruhaya, Noa, Lorenzo

The Silent Type + More Abstract Fears

Slow. Everything was moving so fucking slow around him. His body was falling apart. Every sinew, every cell, every fucking atom of his being was breaking down and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Was this what he was truly destined for, dust to dust? Strangely enough, it didn't hurt, everything was calm. He was dying, so what? Every star burns out. And then, as sharp as a clap of thunder, the pain arrived. In his heart, not his body. Images of friends, family, trophies, all the things he hadn't done yet and you surged through his head. No, he couldn't die, not yet! He gripped his arm, but it was already turning to dust. Irrelevant and forgotten.

He's almost surprised when he wakes up, remembers that that would be impossible. Wants to scoff at himself for being afraid of something that could never happen. But the truth is, he is going to die someday, no matter how big of a star he is. He watches you twitch in your sleep, obviously disturbed by how he jerked awake, and curls his arms around you. He presses his face to the top of your head and breathes you in, silently begging you to drift back into a deeper sleep. He just needs to savor every moment with you and stop worrying, he tells himself.

Snuffy, Nagi, Ego, Aryu, Reo, Kuon, Chris, Jin

Wakes Up Screaming + Needs Reassurance

Why was this happening? You were in his arms, covered in blood, he was covered in blood; It was everywhere. The cheering from the fans turned into screaming, that's when he should've stopped and had the damn sense to look around. Instead, he kept running and dribbling down the field, confused why nobody was stopping him. He didn't see you falling from the stands until you were right in front of him. Your arm twisted first, then your neck, the rest of you followed. Why was this happening? "No, no, no, no...(Y/N). Get help! What the fuck are you all standing around for?!" He took off his jersey and tried to stop the bleeding but it wasn't enough, you were already going cold. He was powerless.

"I said get help-!!" he roared. "Oh..oh fuck." He suddenly wasn't holding your limp body anymore, he was in his- your room. The smell of blood disappeared. He glanced over and made eye contact with you. "Are you okay? You're shaking like a leaf!" "No..can you, can you just come here?" He crushes you in a bear hug as soon as you do. Even when he lets up, he opts to hold your hand instead. He makes you tell him about your day, because he got in late when you were already asleep. He tells you how much he loves you and recounts the day you two met just to stop his heart from bursting. "S-sorry I woke you up, I just- I needed that."

Ness, Niko, Aoshi, Sendo, Gagumaru, Igaguri, Kurona

Wakes Up Screaming + Needs Some Space

The first thing he notices is that he can't breathe. The second thing he notices is that he is in a hospital. "No, I don't think he will ever be able to speak or move again." a voice he doesn't recognize claims. Someone is choking him and he can't stop them. It's himself, rabid, foaming at the mouth. The doppelganger realizes he's been caught and tightens his grip. "That's right, that's what you fucking get for ignoring yourself. You don't even fucking eat enough and you want to be a star, huh? You keep betraying yourself." His neck is lifted from the cold pillow. "And betraying yourself!" It's slammed back down. He wants to tell him to stop, to say anything, but he can't.

He wakes up like he's been jolted back to life by electricity, doesn't even realize he's screaming. "Baby, baby you're okay! It's okay." He feels your hands around him and feels ashamed instead of relieved. What the fuck was that?! "Just go back to sleep, I'll be back." You open your mouth to argue but he shakes his head. "Please." This is nothing you can help him with, he needs to take care of himself and he knows it. Can't keep relying on others to pull him out. He takes a cold shower and comes back to bed hours later, slipping next to you. "I'm sorry I scared you." is all he says as his hands glide over your back. It's best if you just accept his apology, you'll never fully understand the war he's having with himself.

Chigiri, Kenyu, Kunigami, Kira, Sae, Barou

You Wake Him Up + It's Not Okay

Of course he knows this is a fucking dream, how could it not be? The overwhelming lights, the strange woman putting her hands on his chest. He knows exactly what this is about too. The paparazzi have gotten way too comfortable following both you and him around, they keep asking invasive questions and posting up outside of your house. The lack of privacy should be illegal. "You're famous now, you should like this you ungrateful piece of shit." a voice hisses in his ear as another pair of hands massages his shoulders. He tenses and struggles, but more hands appear, grabbing at his clothes. They tear pieces away from him with no remorse and something deep inside of him wishes it could end- Scratch that, every part of him wishes this would end, the violation, the rumors, the-

"Hey! Are you alright? I think..I think that you were having a nightmare." He gasps, so the feeling of hands on his chest were yours. Everything that was tensed relaxes, it was just you. That doesn't stop all his feelings from welling up along with tears. "Can you not touch me right now?" God, he wishes you wouldn't look at him like that. "Are you crying?" "No." He slips out of bed and checks the curtains, he can't shake the feeling of foreign hands on every part of him, not just his chest. Disgust curls and uncurls in his stomach. Why couldn't he just fight back on his own in his own damn head? "There's no one out there-" "How do you know!? Huh?" he demands, a whole lot louder than he meant to. "Fuck wait..I'm sorry. This week has just been a lot." You two end up having a long and needed talk that night.

Lavinho, Reo, Oliver, Rin, Raichi, Tabito

You Wake Him Up + It's Okay

He has been walking in circles for hours. Each loop, though, something changes. At first it was funny, (someone's head would balloon to an impossible size or a sign would read a curse word instead of an actual street name, for example) but now he was just tired. He couldn't sit down though or this burning pain would shoot through him...Just like in the real world, if he ever stopped shining, if he ever stopped moving forward, he'd get this feeling like he wasn't doing enough. Even on vacations there would be a gnawing sense that he was running from his rightful title. All he needed was the spotlight, even if it took so much fucking effort to get there. Practicing the same kicks over and over again, walking in circles, looking for what would excite him next-

"Please stop kicking me..." you groan and he wakes up instantly. Honestly, he didn't realize how terrifying his dream was until he's lucid. "Was I kicking you? Sorry... I just had the weirdest dream, it was like I kept walking in circles and I couldn't stop." "Maybe that's your brain telling you to take a break and stop treating my shin like a soccer ball." You two continue to make light of it and the more he talks about it with you, the more relaxed he gets. He's going to be just fine, especially with you by his side. "Mnh, good night." you finally whisper, cuddling up against him and tangling your leg with his in a final attempt to prevent any future attacks. "Good night." He watches you fall asleep with love in his eyes and wonders how a job obsessed weirdo like him managed to land someone as perfect as you.

Bachira, Loki, Isagi, Shidou, Nanase, Otoya, Zantetsu,

[bleue-flora]

Ok, I recently wrote an essay [here] talking about the definition and duties of civil engineering as well as the ethics because of the brain rot @swordfright gave me with calling Dream Sam’s ultimate engineering project. So, because I actually am a civil engineer I took it upon myself to design the title and summary of quantities sheets just like I do at work for roads but with Dream as the project instead. And in honor of angst day sponsored by @sixteenth-day-event, I figured I’d share it because I feel like it kinda works for the prison of the mind prompt.

“Sam’s “ultimate engineering project” he deemed too damaged like a bumpy road or crumbling building that wasn’t worthy of patching and filling in the cracks or reinforcing, that’s too eroded to be fixed and preserved. So, Sam strived to tear him down to the bedrock so he could remake, remold, and reengineer Dream according to his design for the common safety, public health and well-fair.”

{These are very similar to the actual sheets I make day to day, which I shall not share for the sake of doxing my location, but yea pretty much everything has a significance. Some of it doesn’t necessarily make sense but that was because I was more so taking inventory of what we see in lore (so you know I counted ;) lol)}

[mediumgayitalian]

y’all i cannot stop fucking thinking about it. will with his big blue eyes, youngest of them all, completely musically untalented and rhythmically challenged but by the gods does he understand the human body. following lee around holding his quiver and rattling off whatever he just learned from watching michael in the infirmary. doted on by his big siblings. talking for hours about a galaxy far far away with heroes who choose to save the world, aren’t forced to, hey, they’re heroes, just like you, lee! and his siblings have dreams, they know the prophecies, they look at their little brother and they know he will be alone. they don’t know why or how yet but they can feel in their very soul that he will be out in the stupid world with all its hatred and violence and he will have to defend himself. and he can’t shoot straight and he cries when he hurts someone in training, and all he wants to do is help, and he doesn’t understand that people can be cruel and they will take his kindness and bleed him dry. and a war is coming. they can feel it. do you think they would be desperate? for themselves as much as will? i don’t know how long i will live. i don’t know how long i have left. but you will be there, son of phoebus. i know you will. remember me, okay? remember how i loved you. remember how we loved each other, remember how we healed and fought and cared. please. please, will, remember us. and remember how we loved you.

[gilded-gheists]

My feelings towards ao3 this morning.

[unkandily]

WHY DID ALBATRIO FLUFF WIN MY POLL. I DIDNT EXPECT PEOPLE TO ACTUALLY VOTE FOR IT. NOW I HAVE TO THINK UP NICE THINGS. QUICK GIVE ME NICE THINGS THOUGH IM SURE I CAN BRAINSTORM SOMETHING EVENTUALLY.

[some-pers0n]

Every once in a while I think about the ship I've been obsessed over for close to two years now and feel like I'm ascending to another plane of reality. Like sometimes you just encounter a ship that hits every single mark and is perfect in every regard and you're left stunned how something like that can even exist

[phoebepheebsphibs]

Ngl you threatening to hurt my fav sunshine boi almost made me not vote bc I crave angst and whump yes hurt the boi

[quinn-pop]

mtdd week day 3 - caring

yeah this is a totally random timeskip thing. just pretend dedede looks older okay thank you

just another night (and it’s ours)

part 2

[unohanadaydreams]

five comfort characters, five tags

I was tagged by @srtruth here and @bleachbleachbleach here. (Linked so you can go read their answers!!!)

Thank you both! I'm historically bad at remembering to do these, so I appreciate you even tagging me lol.

To me, a comfort character is one I can fall back on when I want to write or read or see something familiar and do so consistently with that character. What Would Blorbo Do? I know exactly what they'd do and so it's easy to include them in things I write. In general, Blorbo Soup for the Soul, I guess lmao.

Mayuri Kurotsuchi. My favorite blorbo. His terrarium is costly, expansive, and in view at all times. He's so theatrical & contradictory, yet at his core there's this simplicity of what he wants to be and how he views himself. And I just don't get tired of it! Definitely a beetle undergoing reconstructive surgery to better fit it's aesthetics of evolution and choosing the life of a caterpillar instead. Dug his way out of the dirt and said 'that's not who I am, actually, I'll never be that again.'

Kenpachi Zaraki. Probably the oldest blorbo of this list, tbh. A verified onion. Huge angst potential, let alone the angst fulfilled in canon. He's like if Icarus made it and laughed the whole way there, even as the Sun started to do irreparable damage to his foresight and burned everyone who made it with him to ash. He's like if the Minotaur knew the way out the whole time but continued to wander because he was so, so scared to find out the sun and stars and the sea breeze wouldn't be everything he dreamed they'd be and if they were, that they'd disappear just as he was starting to realize how wonderful it all felt.

Retsu Unohana. Second oldest blorbo after Zaraki. I just really love that you can FEEL how much she wants to live as simply as Zaraki, but she genuinely can't. She's dedicated herself towards too much. She can't ever go back. She slammed that fridge door on herself with zero hesitation. Queen of being a two-faced bitch telling herself she's one missed meditation away from going back to hunting down worthwhile fights in the middle of nowhere, but really she's just going to make the 4th division a nightmare hospital visit for anyone who pisses her off too much that day.

Giselle Gewelle. One of the newest blorbos! I love that she's a simple character with such complicated baggage. What does she want? To live! How does she want to live? With her bffs! How is she going to do that? By turning everyone into hyper-dependent undead puppets who are forced into a symbiotic relationship with her the moment they cease to live, forced to feel the same pain of stagnation as her, forced to realize that their life was a gift and her being content to let them live was a gift, that she can bleed so easily and that she didn't for so long was a Gift. You know! Just girly things. <3

A tie between Akon & Nanao Ise. Newer blorbos, for sure. Fellow workaholics who can stay sane under insane conditions & highly unreasonable employers. The hyper competent duo whose squads are being held up by their ability to maintain a straight face toward their captains when most would quit in less than a week. Definitely average less than 10 days of PTO used a year. Not just blorbos, but comrades.

Tagging with peace and love and no pressure: @wing-ed-thing @stupid-sloot-headcanons @tuliharja @a-libra-writes @j-u-u-z-o

[allyricas]

Steve making the most pining, sad boy mixtape that he listens to on repeat. It's about his friend Eddie.

Eddie who is clueless about Steve's pining. Eddie who is the most tactile person he's ever met. So he's always slinging an arm around Steve or leaning on his shoulder during movie night. He'll run and jump on Steve's back for a piggyback ride or tackle him into the pool. It's slowly killing Steve because Eddie has no idea that Steve's in love with him.

In fact, for all the flirting Eddie does with Steve, the man has no idea he's even queer. 100 percent oblivious. Eddie has convinced himself that it's totally normal to flirt with everyone (he only flirts with Steve) and that it doesn't mean anything to cuddle your male friend on a regular basis (it means something) and poor Stevie is just suffering.

Maybe Eddie needs a ride one day because his van craps out, so he asks Steve to drive him to Indy and of course, the tape starts. after the first few songs Eddie's is having some thoughts. One, who the fuck is this tape about? Whoever it is, Steve clearly has BIG feelings for this girl. It makes Eddie feel like shit.

So he just keeps listening until he finally snaps and asks Steve who the chick is. Steve's confused, but Eddie presses further. He asks who the tape is about.

"What's her name? The girl you made this mix for?"

"There's no girl." Steve replies. His voice is tight like he's upset. Eddie would be so, so confused.

"Um, this is like some unrequited love pop music shit. Obviously you're in love with someone, so what's her name?" Eddie has to push.

Steve just tells Eddie to fuck off. They're both sorta pissed now. Eddie thought they were good enough friends that Steve would tell him. Steve can't have this conversation considering he's in love with his friend.

"Why won't you tell me her name...c'mon Stevie, I won't make fun of you. Is it Nancy again? Shitty considering she's dating Robbie. Tell me. Please. I'm dying to know who could have possibly inspired this mixtape." Eddie knows he's being an ass. He will get Steve to tell him.

Steve says nothing. Literally says nothing the rest of the way to Indy and back. It's not until they're pulling back into Hawkins that Eddie starts pestering again.

"Come on, dude. Who is this mystery girl you're so head over heels for? I mean literally, you put that song on there. Tears for Fears man, tell me, tell me, tell me-"

"It's not about a a girl. Shut the fuck up, man." Steve finally snaps. Eddie is just repeating over and over for Steve to tell him and it's annoying that he's so sure it's some girl.

"Then who?"

"I made the tape about you, asshole."

"What?"

"It's not some girl I'm in love with, it's you Eddie." Steve finally admits and he watches Eddie's face drop in horror. As Steve pulls up to Eddie's trailer, neither of them say a word. Steve is contemplating driving his car into a tree and Eddie is in shock. Because this cannot be happening, Eddie is straight and um, he definitely does not like Steve Harrington. Definitely isn't having a full fledged crisis right now.

"Man, I'm not... I'm not gay. I don't like you that way." Eddie finally tells him, refusing to meet Steve's eyes. Why does every word he just said feel like it's breaking Eddie apart too. He isn't sure he's being honest with Steve right now, but he cannot deal with this. He can't deal with the heartbreak all over Steve's face.

So Eddie gets out of the car and walks into his trailer. He doesn't look back or slow down. Steve is a second away from losing it. What was just pining is a rejection now. Worse than that, it feels like the whole world just fell down around Steve.

Despite how scared Steve was to tell Eddie, blatant rejection wasn't something he was worried about. Eddie flirted with him all the time. Always touching, always leaning into Steve's space. Calling him big boy or sweetheart. How could Steve have been so wrong? Eddie wasn't even into guys, let alone Steve. Eddie specifically said that he didn't like Steve that way. Eddie doesn't want him.

So, Steve listens to his sad mixtape and swears he'll move on even if that feels impossible.

Psst: read the follow up Moving On Pt. 1

[jfpstarchaser]

"Regulus," James calls him, he sounds so sweet. Regulus can feel a shiver go down his spine at his tone, so adoring. The hairs on the back of his neck standing up, he looks at James, then. And he's so pretty.

James looks so pretty like that, sprawled on Regulus' silk sheets, looking up to him with those doe hazel eyes, his shirtless torso showing Regulus every bit of that beautiful brown skin that there is to see, his muscles flexing when he supports himself on his elbows to come up again, trying to get closer.

Regulus cannot control himself around him.

He wants to devour James, strip him of his desires to satisfy his own needs, put his hand through his solar plexus and look for his heart to tear it away from his chest, to hold it close to himself, never to return it. Perhaps, then, James will realise Regulus is just no good for him. Perhaps, James will realise how much of a mistake he is making in choosing Regulus, then. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

Those are hypotheticals, though. So here is a matter-of-fact statement: Regulus will never let him go.

James can walk through those doors anytime, he truly can, but he will never leave whole, because Regulus will hold a part of him for himself, forever. It's his. And for as long as James doesn't walk away through that door, James, too, is Regulus'.

James belongs to him, just like Regulus has given himself to him.

"You forget yourself," Regulus says, still standing at the foot of the bed. James really is a sight to behold. His messy coffee-coloured hair falling just above his bright, bright eyes, his lips red from kissing, his golden glasses sliding down his freckled nose, his cheeks rosy with excitement, his chest heaving, taking in quick breaths every time Regulus gets closer to him.

Regulus cannot wait to have his body pressed against his; to feel his strong and gentle hands, his warm, warm skin, his plump lips against his, to put their foreheads together, to circle his waist with his thighs, then to caress his mess of curly hair, to breathe together with him, to lay his head on his chest, their joint legs a mess on its own. To wake up with him, after.

Regulus loves him so much.

Regulus loves him so much, he's risking it all for him. Ready to give everything he owns away, to never leave the safe space James made out of this damned room, he's ready to do it all for him. For those hazel eyes, for that bright smile with dimples, for those loving hands, for that contagious laugh, everything. Everything, James.

"Your Highness," James sighs, tilting his head left, just a little. His eyebrows drawing together slightly, correcting himself, he bites his lip and looks up to Regulus' eyes again, his words a bitter reminder of who they are. "Come back to me, please," He pleads, looking expectantly at Regulus.

Regulus does.

He is all too eager to return to him, so he does. Regulus breathes in because just like James, every movement from the other has him drawing quick breaths, excitement pouring out of him in waves, then joins him on the bed, a mess of silk sheets.

He doesn't care for his title any more than he does for his council, he hears it daily, everywhere, all the time. Hates it, sometimes. But James, even if bitter on occasion, makes it sound so much better than it really is, this title.

Your Highness, James says, and Regulus wants to kiss it off his mouth. He wants to swallow that sweet and adoring tone down his own throat. Maybe then, the stolen title won't taste like chalk.

Your majesty, James jokes sometimes, and Regulus wants to lick it true out of his mouth. He wants to make an Emperor out of himself, so James will call him that again. Your majesty, Regulus wants him to whisper in his ear, then kiss the rest of his words down his skin.

Regulus, James calls him, and Regulus hears it, the gold liquid worship dripping from his tone, the way his mouth breathes out Regulus' name, and it makes Regulus want to steal his breath away to his own selfish lungs.

My love, James murmurs sometimes, when he thinks Regulus isn't paying attention, he kisses it on his pale skin, love pouring out of his mouth, indeed. Regulus has the impertinence to desire to make himself pliant beneath him, so maybe then, James won't murmur, but call him my love to his mouth, not his hip, eyes on him while Regulus overwhelms himself swallowing that down, too.

Regulus wants to consume him whole, truly. Bones and all. But since he cannot, he does the next best thing and tentatively sits in James' lap, his eyes glued to James', aware of every part of him, then he brings his hands up to his face, the cold silver of his rings against James' warm cheek.

Regulus watches it in delight, the breath James sharply takes in, exhaling through his open lips, then.

He can feel his own breath stutter, his heart picking up, the warmth that covers James' face coming to Regulus', too. Regulus loves it, this with James. Whatever, with James. Oh, as long as it's James, he loves it.

Then, Regulus can see James' smile and barely has time to breathe himself to properness again when James' hand touches his waist beneath his shirt, he holds it for a second, a mischievous little twinkle in his mahogany eyes, then slides it all the all up to his spine, feeling against his palm Regulus' shiver. Regulus has his breath stuttering again, then.

James' hands are surely one of Regulus' weaknesses, coming behind James himself, no doubt. Regulus cannot figure out how he does it, but James' hands are something else entirely; they touch so softly, love marking the way they passed, but they can also touch roughly, strength bruising the way, then. And he can touch roughly with worship in his hands, still. Every bit James has touched feels marked by him.

Regulus has James' concealed handprints all over his body, marked by him everywhere, touched by him down to his bones, Regulus is convinced James has his initials branded by his suave fingertips into Regulus' soul.

Exactly when it happened, Regulus cannot tell, but it's been quite some time. There was a Regulus before James and there's him now, James'.

Regulus won't ever forget it, this man. This man and his love-worshipping hands, his hazel gaze that feels like a warm lighthouse countering Regulus' storming grey-blue waves, his low laughter that feels like a breath of fresh air caressing Regulus' cheeks.

Regulus adores him.

Regulus couldn't care less about his infamous name, James Potter is nothing if someone worthy of everything. Regulus wants to give him everything, shower him with the best he can buy with all that useless gold he has because James has given him everything already, and has already showered him with the best gold cannot buy: his love.

Regulus sighs, then, dipping down to close the distance between them and kissing James' grin out of his mouth, biting his low laughter away with his teeth on his bottom lip.

Regulus loves this, too.

He loves the way James kisses the pleased sounds of his own throat into Regulus' tongue, the way his hands give away trying to support himself to just— hold Regulus instead.

James falls on his back on the bed and Regulus follows him, unwilling to part with him now that he has tasted it again, tasted him. James' hands hold him again, softly, the one on his back coming back down his waist, while his other holds his jaw, his thumb caressing Regulus' skin. James brings them closer, their bodies flushed together and Regulus' the one kissing a groan into James' tongue, then.

Regulus knows, logically, that this is fated to fall apart eventually. He knows. They are fated to fall apart, and yet to know this doesn't matter, all it does is make Regulus more and more hungry for him.

Regulus is a starving man, ready to devour every moment they get before their inevitable fall.

Every second he gets with James is a second closer to the day they will fall apart, and he doesn't care. He will take everything in the meantime. Regulus will take, take, take and then drown himself in everything that James has to give. And he will do it happily.

He will do it happily, so when the day for James to leave him comes, he will let him go, holding onto nothing but everything he already took. Regulus will satisfy himself with the pieces and not the whole man because he knows James deserves better than him.

However, until then, he's more than willing to just let the thought sit in the back of his mind like it doesn't matter, as if it won't hurt.

(It will. Regulus knows letting go of James, losing him to someone else, will tear his insides apart. Or worse, losing him to a world so much more fulfilling than this unnamed relationship of theirs, to an adventure Regulus can only dream of following him into, to a place where he wouldn't have to sneak around, where he doesn't have to hold himself back, where he can be as free as he should be.

Regulus begrudgingly admits that the Sea has so much more to offer James than him and he cannot, even with every selfish cell in his body screaming against it, deny James of it.

He would never deny James of anything if he could.

He can already feel the taste of the salty tears he will shed, fitting for they will remind him even more of who James left him for, the Sea. He can feel the frustrated scratches his nails will leave on the skin of his arms, feel the ever-there throbbing behind his eyeballs, the rough pain in his throat.

And knows, he won't regret it. As long as it makes James happy. Free, as he deserves to be. Free, as Regulus cannot make him, cannot be with him.

The Sea will care more for him than Regulus ever could, and the Sea will have James, but for now, he is Regulus' and Regulus will take everything that James offers to him.)

Regulus lets go of it and puts himself in the present again. He buries his fingers in James' curls, scratching slowly along his scalp, pressing back to the hungry mouth kissing his own.

James laughs against his mouth, then kisses his face. His lips pass everywhere, leaving invisible marks behind, he kisses his way through Regulus' eyelids, his cheeks, his forehead, his jaw, his neck, his chest.

He feels him everywhere.

Regulus thinks there isn't a better way to self-destruct than this. He would do it again, a million times, just to feel the touch of this sun-kissed man, to feel his warm, warm love.

[coffeemira]

need an age regression/de-aging fic where a post-KH4 riku has to take care of a younger sora, and bb sora is just completely awestruck over how strong and kind and pretty (and tall!!) his best friend riku got… and is so transparently smitten that riku, who is actually dating present-day sora, is just like: wow we really were oblivious how did either of us miss sora’s glaring crush on me??